Re-release: 209 - A Hello To Arms/Odd One Out (w/ Janet Varney and John Hodgman)

Summary

SmartLess Presents ClueLess

Episode: Re-release 209 – A Hello To Arms / Odd One Out (with Janet Varney and John Hodgman)
Host: Elliot Kalan
Guests: Janet Varney & John Hodgman
Release Date: April 27, 2026

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Episode Overview

This special re-release features Elliot Kalan welcoming Janet Varney and John Hodgman (co-hosts of the podcast E Pluribus Motto) to tackle classic ClueLess puzzle games. The central themes: clever wordplay, lateral thinking, and trademark comedic banter, as they compete in “A Hello To Arms” and “Odd One Out.” Along the way, the trio riff on podcasting, public domain weirdness, and the joys (and perils) of trivia.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introductions & Sketchfest Chat

(02:40 – 06:21)

• Elliot introduces Janet Varney (noting her as the first “Janet” on the show, immediately mispronounced as “Jenny”) and John Hodgman, with playful banter about festival and podcast names.
• Janet promotes the 23rd annual San Francisco Sketchfest, highlighting upcoming SmartLess Media podcasts and celebrity guests (e.g., Mark Mothersbaugh, Adam Savage):
  “We’ve got three amazing SmartLess podcasts coming... tributes to, I don’t know, maybe the women of SNL, maybe Elizabeth Banks, maybe Randall Park...” — Janet Varney [03:30]
• John describes their podcast, E Pluribus Motto, which explores state mottos, snacks, birds, and even monsters:
  “It’s all about the mottos of the states, commonwealths, territories... including information on official state mammals, snacks, birds, monsters and more.” — John Hodgman [05:33]
• Elliot and John recall a “meta bullying” incident from The Daily Show days involving a thrown shoe:
  “I realized there’s really no difference between meta bullying and actual bullying.” — John Hodgman [06:21]

2. Opening Puzzle: Historical Connection

(07:14 – 09:05)

• Elliot lists five 1930s creative works: The Maltese Falcon, The Little Engine That Could, Marx Brothers’ Animal Crackers, “Georgia On My Mind,” and Blondie.
• The challenge: What do they have in common besides being released in 1930?
• After much riffing and a Peter Lorre impression, Elliot reveals:
  All entered the public domain in 2026.
  “That means they all entered the public domain this year... you can finally make a horror movie version of ‘The Maltese Falcon’.” — Elliot Kalan [09:06]

3. Game 1: A Hello To Arms

(11:16 – 16:49)

• Game Rules: Each clue’s answer contains “arm” in consecutive order.

• Highlighted Clues & Answers:

  • “A person who grows crops?” – Farmer
  • “Animal with a leathery shell and sharp claws?” – Armadillo
  • “What to do before heavy exercise?” – Warm up
  • “A blues harp?” – Harmonica
  • “Middle Eastern meat dish?” – Shawarma
  • “Who Cinderella met at the ball?” – Prince Charming
  • “Jewish boy’s 13th birthday celebration?” – Bar Mitzvah
  • “It was almost an accident?” – Near miss
  • “Baloney with a first and last name?” – Oscar Meyer
  • “Period of falling stocks and low confidence?” – Bear market

• Along the way, they joke about emotional armor, the metal Mark V Hodgman armor, and Hippocratic oath puns (“Do no farm first”).

• Memorable Moment:
  Janet quickly nails “near miss” thinking it’s a joke:
  “I think I thought I was making a joke, and it turned out to be the right [answer].” — Janet Varney [16:23]

4. Game 2: Odd One Out

(18:06 – 26:38)

• Premise: The original members of O-Town go to Disney World, each bringing four items. For each list, which is the “odd one out,” and why?

• Sample Rounds:

  1. Dan: Mirror, pool table, kangaroo, pair of jeans
     • Odd one out: Mirror (doesn’t have pockets).
     • “Shout out to Dan Charming for getting out of the palace and getting over to the Haunted Mansion for a change.” — Janet Varney [19:37]
  2. Trevor: Pickle, banana, macadamia nut, calamari
     • Odd one out: Pickle (the others have three As).
  3. Eric Michael: Hornet, net, rocket, pin
     • Odd one out: Pin (not an NBA team name).
  4. Jacob: Marker, billfold, basket, tomahawk
     • Odd one out: Basket (others are male names: Mark, Bill, Tom).
  5. Ashley: Laser, radar gun, care package, meat
     • Odd one out: Meat (the others are acronyms/initialisms).
     • “Laser stands for Light Amplification by the Stimulated Emission of Radiation... Care was originally ‘Cooperative for American Remittances to Europe.’” — Elliot Kalan [26:18]

• Running Jokes:

  • “John Hodgman: One of these is not the name of a basketball team.”
  • “I know Bossk the bounty hunter from Empire Strikes Back. John, you know what I’m talking about. He’s a Trandoshan.” — Elliot Kalan [23:29]

5. Mega Clue

(27:14 – 28:13)

• All Odd Items Left Behind: Mirror, pickle, pin, basket, meat
  • What do they share?
  • “Can you add ‘ball’ to all of them?” — John Hodgman [28:02]
  • Answer: They’re all types of “balls” (mirror ball, pickleball, pinball, basketball, meatball).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• E Pluribus Motto Description:
  “It’s all about the mottos of the states, commonwealths, territories...including information on official state mammals, snacks, birds, monsters and more.” — John Hodgman [05:33]
• Self-Deprecating Puzzle Host:
  “Trust me, there’s nothing I’d rather do than not work. But my contract states that I must ask you the answer to today’s opening question.” — Elliot Kalan [07:18]
• Janet’s Wordplay Energy:
  “I wrote these down and I see three words that all have a trio of A’s separated by other letters. But I don’t see that in pickle.” — Janet Varney [21:44]
• Meta Puzzles:
  “The answer is meat because the others are all acronyms…meat, that doesn’t stand for anything.” — Elliot Kalan [26:18]
• Sign Off Chuckle:
  “Listeners, did you do as well as Janet and John? If so, you’ve won an all-expenses paid trip to Hawaii. Specifically, all the expenses will be paid by you.” — Elliot Kalan [17:49]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Sketchfest & Guest Intros: 02:40 – 06:21
• Opening Public Domain Puzzle: 07:14 – 09:05
• Game 1: A Hello To Arms: 11:16 – 16:49
• Game 2: Odd One Out: 18:06 – 26:38
• Mega Clue: 27:14 – 28:13

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Tone & Style

The episode combines fast-paced wordplay, pun-heavy lateral thinking, and the lively, affectionate roasting familiar to fans of SmartLess Media productions and panel puzzle shows. The tone is warm, goofy, and tightly-focused on cleverness and camaraderie.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a comedic mini-puzzle adventure that’s accessible even if you aren’t a regular listener or puzzle expert. Janet Varney and John Hodgman’s rapport with Elliot Kalan keeps the whimsy high, and each segment is self-contained and welcoming. The two main games (“A Hello To Arms” and “Odd One Out”) exemplify the podcast’s brainteaser spirit, while bonus factoids and tangents offer cheerful trivia along the way.

Transcript

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[John Hodgman]

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Every obstacle fuels our determination. Each victory proves our perseverance.

[Janet Varney]

And any challenge is just another chance

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for success because we're building a legacy that lifts us and those around us up.

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Win after win after win.

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[Podcast Bot/Announcer]

Greetings Clueless listeners. While our host Eliot is busy this week hosting a Quattro de Mayo event, nobody goes to those, of course, because the big party is the next day. It is I the Bot back to present another repeat performance. In this episode, Elliot is joined by the fabulous Janet Varney and her pal John Hodgman, co hosts of the podcast E Pluribus Matto. They will try to wrap their heads and arms around around a brand new game. And then it's a return of our old friend Odd One Out. Get out. This is Clueless.

[John Hodgman]

Smart Less.

[Elliot Kaelin]

If I had to name my favorite time period, it would definitely be the past. The future is so smug. It's so full of itself. The present is, let's face it, kinda dumb. But the past is relaxing because you already know how it turns out. So I like to surround myself with things that remind me of the past. Old books, dinosaurs, the Emperor Justinian. Recently I found some old things and I realized they all had something in common, but I didn't know what. They're the books the Maltese Falcon and the Little Engine that Could, the Marx Brothers movie Animal Crackers, the song Georgia on My Mind, and the comic strip character Blondie. Can you tell me what each of these things has in common? And I know you're about to say they were all introduced in 1930. That's true, but that's not the connection I'm looking for. What is? Listen to find out. This is Clueless.

[Janet Varney]

Clueless.

[John Hodgman]

Clueless.

[Janet Varney]

I'm Clueless.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Welcome to Smartless Presents. Clueless, the puzzle podcast that's as lovely as a tree.

[John Hodgman]

Ha.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Take that, poetry. I'm Your host, Elliot Kaelin. Please don't tap on the glass. It only riles me up. And today we're joined by actress, podcaster, co founder of the San Francisco Sketchfest and the first Janet we've ever had on the show, Janet Varney. Thanks for joining us, Janet. As our first Janet.

[Janet Varney]

Thank you. It's actually pronounced Jenny.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Oh. Oh, wow. This is gonna really.

[Janet Varney]

I'm sure you've had one on the show before.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah, we have had a Janine on the show. I ruined your whole intro.

[Janet Varney]

Did you see how that happened? I'm sorry.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Terrible, terrible. I apologize. That's on me. That's on me.

[John Hodgman]

Throw it out. Start over.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Thank you so much for being here with us. San Francisco Sketchfest is a amazing. It's probably the best comedy festival there is in the entire United States of America, if not the world. My podcast, the Flophouse, has performed there. We'll be performing there again this year. Who else is going to be at the Sketch fest? Tell us a little bit about it.

[Janet Varney]

Oh, my goodness. Well, this will be our 23rd annual Sketchfest. We are looking at some. I'm gonna get right out in front of it and say we've got three amazing smart list podcasts coming. I just wanna put that out there right now in case we run out of time. We've got. I need you guys. We've got bad dates and we've got Staying Alive. These are killer podcasts we also have.

[Elliot Kaelin]

They don't do great shows.

[Janet Varney]

Yeah.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Oh, yeah.

[Janet Varney]

And then we have tributes to, I don't know, maybe the women of snl, maybe Elizabeth Banks, maybe Randall park, maybe we have Mark Mothersbaugh coming with a red room orchestra.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Really?

[Janet Varney]

It's gonna be going to be a phenomenal festival. We also have a little podcast, John Hodgman and I like to call.

[John Hodgman]

Well, I haven't been introduced yet, so

[Janet Varney]

I'd like to call.

[John Hodgman]

I can't say it, Jenny.

[Elliot Kaelin]

All right, obviously, bring me on. And I'll bring.

[John Hodgman]

And I'll. And I'll say it.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Obviously setting up an amazing entry for John Hodgman for me to say John Hodgman is here too. But instead of doing that, I will. Then I will give him the. I'll give him the formal honors that he Pluribus motto.

[Janet Varney]

Oh, there he is.

[Elliot Kaelin]

That is John Hodgman, authority podcaster. Once in real life a bully of mine. But we've since buried the hatchet in our now friends John Hodgman Sagan. The name of that podcast that you two do.

[John Hodgman]

Oh, you need it again for the podcast. All right. E Pluribus Motto Motto Motto Mato. Hi, it's me, John Hodgman, the first John Hodgman you've had on Smartless Presents. Clueless.

[Elliot Kaelin]

That's right.

[John Hodgman]

And the co host of E Pluribus Motto on the Maximum Fun Network with Janet Varney. We're doing a live show at SF Sketchfest, one of the hardest and best comedy festivals to say out loud. Almost as hard to say as Judge John Hodgman, which I will also be performing at SF Sketchfest in January.

[Elliot Kaelin]

So if you're going to be in the San Francisco area during Sketchfest, or even if not, airplanes exist and you can take them to San Francisco, they have an airport now, please go see those shows and attend that festival.

[John Hodgman]

But can I just say one other thing?

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yes. Indicating a different thing, but you can say the thing you're going to say. Yeah.

[John Hodgman]

Well, you want to move on and I. And I want to stay mired in the past, which is only to say you love the past. First. I'll say. E Pluribus Motto is the new podcast that Janet Varney and I co host. It's all about the mottos of the state's commonwealth territories and districts of these for now United States, including information on official state mammals, snacks, birds, monsters and more. And we have a lot of fun doing it. And our show at SF Sketch Fest will have a very special SF sketch guest in the person of Adam Savage, San Francisco's own. And second, Elliot. I was not your bully. I was your meta bully. My. My game was I was a nerd bullying another nerd at the on the set of the Daily show until I realized that there's really no difference between meta bullying and actual bullying.

[Elliot Kaelin]

The thin screen about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we've said it was. The thin membrane of meta comedy between being a bully and ametability was punctured

[John Hodgman]

by a shoe that I threw at you through the air.

[Elliot Kaelin]

A very dramatic shoe throwing incident.

[Janet Varney]

And I think.

[Elliot Kaelin]

And that was when you realized, because you're a wonderful human being with a soul, this is not something I should be doing well.

[John Hodgman]

I mean, I should have realized it before the shoe left my hand. Instead, I realized it in the middle of the arc of the shoe as if approaching your shoulder. And I was like, whoa.

[Elliot Kaelin]

There's something about the trajectory of the shoe that will get across that message to you.

[Janet Varney]

Can I. What did you throw? What did you throw?

[Elliot Kaelin]

That was just a shoe.

[John Hodgman]

A shoe.

[Janet Varney]

Bless you. Bless you both. That's for the Kids out there. Bless you. Because it's. Because a shoe sounds like you. Whoo. This is gonna be a long, short episode. No, no.

[John Hodgman]

Here's something for the kids out. Here's something for the kids out there. Six, seven.

[Elliot Kaelin]

No. You know what? Now, this has been fantastic, but we have episodes to do of this show. Trust me, there's nothing I'd rather do than not work. But my contract states that I must ask you the answer to today's opening question. Earlier, I mentioned five creative works released in 1930. Would you like me to remind you what they are?

[John Hodgman]

Blondie was one.

[Janet Varney]

Maltese Falcon.

[Elliot Kaelin]

So going in reverse order, the comic character, Blondie, the song Georgia On My Mind, the Marx Brothers movie, Animal Crackers, and the books Little Engine that Could and the Maltese Falcon, which are kind of the same story when you think about it.

[John Hodgman]

Wait, what? Right, right.

[Elliot Kaelin]

So what do they all have in common, all of these works released in. In 1930.

[Janet Varney]

Also Peter Lorre, post punk, CBGB bands. I saw a killer Maltese Falcon reunion tour that was a little bit.

[John Hodgman]

But Maltese Falcon.

[Elliot Kaelin]

I want to take a moment. Those are both great answers that are not true, but are very funny. But I want to take a moment to do my impression now of Peter Laurie as the Little Engine that Could. I think I can. I think I can. I think I can. That would be Peter Lauria. See, Little Engine that Could.

[Janet Varney]

Spot on.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Thank you.

[John Hodgman]

You know what? We should stop recording now because it's not going to get better than that. No, that was it. Leave Wanting more.

[Elliot Kaelin]

I'm going to give you just a couple more seconds to think about it.

[John Hodgman]

Or leave him Wanting less. Clueless. Specifically, Georgia On My Mind.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Blondie, Animal Package.

[John Hodgman]

Goodbye, Georgia On My Mind. Oh, wait a minute. Well, I think Georgia on My Mind was written by Hoagie Carmichael.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yes, I believe it was.

[Janet Varney]

You know why? Because we talked about that on an episode of E. Pluribus Motto.

[John Hodgman]

That's right, our Georgia episode.

[Janet Varney]

Great plug. And yet that has nothing to do with what the answer is, is my guess.

[Elliot Kaelin]

No. And in fact, I don't think you're gonna get the answer, so I'm gonna give it to you anyway. Would you like to know what it is?

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Please.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Because all of these things were released in 1930. That means they all entered the public domain this year. That's right. This episode's coming out in early January of 2026. As of this episode, those things are all in the public domain. So you know what? You can finally make a horror movie version of the Maltese Falcon or a horror movie version of Blondie or a horror movie version of the song Georgia on My Mind. Unfortunately, nobody has discovered what you can do with public domain things without making besides horror movies out of them.

[John Hodgman]

To dust off my screenplay for Murder on the Little Engine that Could, Abraham

[Janet Varney]

Lincoln versus Animal Crackers, you can finally do it.

[Elliot Kaelin]

They're both in the public domain.

[John Hodgman]

All right, that sounds great.

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[Elliot Kaelin]

Listeners. Did you get the answer? If not, that's okay. Right and wrong are just subjective concepts like right and left. And now that we've left that question behind us. Segue. Let's go right to our first game. It's called A hello to Arms.

[Show Host Elliot Kaelin (closing remarks)]

Format alarm are words that have their charms. But now it's time to play A hello to Arms.

[Elliot Kaelin]

That's right. It's a play on A Farewell to Arms. And there's nothing Ernest Hemingway can do about it because A Farewell to Arms entered the public domain last year. Thank you. Public domain. So much better than the private domain. Just 100 times better. In this game, I'll be giving you a list of clues. The answer to each one is a word or phrase that contains the word arm. That is the letters A, R, M in consecutive order. So, for example. This is just the example 1. If I said a person who grows crops, the answer would be.

[Janet Varney]

Farmer.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Exactly. Farmer. Yes. Now, this is the.

[John Hodgman]

What is the Hippocratic oath? Elliot?

[Elliot Kaelin]

Do no farm first.

[John Hodgman]

Do no farm first.

[Janet Varney]

Do no farm first.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Do no farm. Yep, that's right. This is a cooperative game, so please feel free to talk out your answers with each other. Work together as a team. So, arm. You ready?

[Janet Varney]

Ooh, ooh, ooh.

[John Hodgman]

Yes. High arm.

[Elliot Kaelin]

So let's start with the first one. First question is something you wear. What's a word for something you wear that has arm in it?

[John Hodgman]

A good luck charm. Oh.

[Janet Varney]

Do you wear a good luck charm? Give us five minutes, Elliot. I really want to find this out. Arm. Arm. Arm.

[John Hodgman]

No, I don't have a good luck charm.

[Janet Varney]

Arms. I wear arms. I wear my arms every time.

[John Hodgman]

I wear arm sleeves.

[Elliot Kaelin]

I don't think I could accept arm sleeves. There's a couple words that I could. That I would accept for this, but I don't think that's one of them.

[Janet Varney]

I like charms a lot. Again, that is something that a lot of young people are enjoying right now. Charms are back.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Well, I'll tell you, this is not the original answer, but what is something that you would wear that has charms on it?

[John Hodgman]

A bracelet.

[Elliot Kaelin]

So, yeah, put those words together.

[John Hodgman]

A charm bracelet.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yeah, I'll give you that. I could also accept. I would also accept it. Armor or garment?

[Janet Varney]

Take that armor off. You're among friends. That's emotional armor.

[John Hodgman]

It's a long time since I wore my Mark V John Hodgman armor.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Oh, the Mark V was the silver and red armor.

[John Hodgman]

The silver centurion armor. You know, always. It was malfunctioning.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Question number two. This one there is only one answer for, so I cannot allow you any leeway. Animal with a leathery shell and sharp claws.

[Janet Varney]

Armadillo.

[John Hodgman]

Armadillo.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You got it. Armadillo. Question three. What you should do before heavy exercise

[Janet Varney]

first do no arm wrestling. I don't know why. First do know is I'm setting everything

[John Hodgman]

up with Hippocratic Arm Day.

[Janet Varney]

Don't skip arm day. Stretch.

[John Hodgman]

Stretch.

[Janet Varney]

Arms stretch.

[John Hodgman]

Right. What. What do you actually do, Janet? Barney, I'm a sedentary person, bro.

[Janet Varney]

I carbo load, obvi.

[John Hodgman]

You car.

[Janet Varney]

I carmbolo.

[Elliot Kaelin]

What? What? Stretching could be considered part of a.

[John Hodgman]

Oh, you know what? I do listen to some music. That's right.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Wire them up.

[John Hodgman]

I was gonna say I listened. I listened to some music by Carmen Miranda.

[Janet Varney]

I listen to a podcast of yours produced by Jennifer Marmer.

[John Hodgman]

That's right. The Judge John Hodgman podcast.

[Elliot Kaelin]

I will accept. Warm up. The other ones are a little too specific. I don't expect the audiences to get those.

[John Hodgman]

Why didn't I get that one? Should have gotten that one.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Question number four. Instrument. This is a musical instrument also known as a blues harp.

[John Hodgman]

Harmonica.

[Janet Varney]

Harmonica.

[John Hodgman]

Thank you.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Exactly. Harmonica first.

[Janet Varney]

You know, harmonica.

[John Hodgman]

Wow. That is.

[Janet Varney]

That I could.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Not if you're Bob Dylan.

[John Hodgman]

Yeah, I know. I was Gonna say Blues Traveler didn't get that lesson.

[Elliot Kaelin]

It reminds me of a. Of a. This is something that Devin can cut out. But I wanted to tell you guys because it's just now in my head is watching a movie last night in which William H. Macy plays the harmonica, and I turned to my wife and I said, and he really can play the harmonica because he did it in a jeans commercial years ago.

[Janet Varney]

Oh, my God.

[John Hodgman]

Amazing.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Number 5, Middle Eastern dish of meat sliced from a spit. You know this one?

[Janet Varney]

Shawarma.

[John Hodgman]

Shawarma.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Exactly.

[Show Host Elliot Kaelin (closing remarks)]

Very.

[Elliot Kaelin]

We're halfway through. There's just five more clues in this game.

[Janet Varney]

Give us those bottom five.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Elliot, Here are the bottom five. These might be a little harder. Okay.

[John Hodgman]

Okay.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Who Cinderella met at the ball. Can you tell me who Cinderella met at the ball?

[John Hodgman]

Dan. No, his name is Prince Dan.

[Janet Varney]

Prince Dan Charming.

[John Hodgman]

Prince Dan Charming.

[Janet Varney]

Daniel Von Charming.

[Elliot Kaelin]

I forgot that Prince Charming's first name is Dan.

[Janet Varney]

So let's never forget.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Next celebration for a Jewish boy's 13th birthday.

[John Hodgman]

Barm itzva.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Exactly. You figured out we both do that.

[Janet Varney]

We both turned it into Barm. I guess you have to, because we have impeccable.

[John Hodgman]

We have impeccable comedic instincts.

[Janet Varney]

Yes.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yes.

[John Hodgman]

You can't peck it. Can't peck our instincts.

[Janet Varney]

Try.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Instincts cannot be pecked. Try it.

[John Hodgman]

That's right.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Do it right. This is. This clue might be a little bit more difficult. It was almost an accident, but it

[Janet Varney]

wasn't a near miss.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Oh, wow. You got that one so fast.

[Janet Varney]

I. I think I thought I was making a joke. And it turned out to be the right.

[Elliot Kaelin]

And it turned out to be the

[John Hodgman]

answer to kill Elliot.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You'll get this one. You'll get this one. And now watch. You won't get it. Baloney. With a first name and a last name.

[John Hodgman]

Oscar Meyer.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You're right. Oscar Meyer. The AR and the M are split apart again. And finally, period of falling stock prices and low confidence.

[John Hodgman]

A bear market.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Very good. Bear market. You did fantastic, both of you. You got every single question Right. That's 10 out of 10.

[John Hodgman]

Good for us.

[Janet Varney]

Well, we both put on our arms this morning, as we always wear our arms.

[John Hodgman]

That's right. We put on our thinking arms.

[Janet Varney]

We did put on our thinking arms.

[John Hodgman]

You did.

[Elliot Kaelin]

And they thought real.

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[Elliot Kaelin]

Listeners at home, did you do as well as Janet and John? If so, you've won an all expenses paid trip to Hawaii. Specifically, all the expenses will be paid by you. Be generous to yourself. You earned it. You deserve this. And while you're booking that trip, we'll move on to our next game. It's my son's favorite game. It's Odd One Out.

[Janet Varney]

Odd one? Which one's the odd one out?

[Podcast Bot/Announcer]

Get out.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Today's Odd One out is about the original members of the band O Town, which I assume stands for Odd One Out Town. It seems they've gotten together to go to Disney World in their hometown of Orlando. Maybe that's what the O stands for. They are queuing up for the Haunted Mansion when they realize they've each brought one too many things and will have to leave something behind before getting on the ride. I'll tell you what each person brought you. Tell me which item is the odd one out and why. Are you ready? That's R, starting with an O.

[John Hodgman]

Absolutely not. No. How much of this relies on our knowledge of the band o town?

[Elliot Kaelin]

0%.

[John Hodgman]

Okay, good. That's a big O there.

[Janet Varney]

This is our opportunity to get to know them. We're gonna find out what their likes and dislikes, what their quirks and foibles are. Why did they bring the thing? I'm sure we'll delve into all of that.

[John Hodgman]

Chan and Barney has been trying to turn our podcast, E Pluribus motto, into an O Town tribute podcast for a long time.

[Janet Varney]

O Pluribus motto. So easy.

[Elliot Kaelin]

O Pluribus Motto.

[John Hodgman]

O Pluribus motto.

[Elliot Kaelin]

O Pluribus. Mato Town. So let's start with number one one, Dan, who is apparently a member of O Town. Dan brought a mirror, a pool table, a kangaroo, and a pair of jeans. Which of those items does not belong with the others? And why?

[John Hodgman]

A mirror at the Haunted Mansion in particular or just in general?

[Elliot Kaelin]

Just as it is. Just as it is.

[John Hodgman]

Okay, so ignore. The whole setup is just a little bit of.

[Janet Varney]

I think I know this.

[Elliot Kaelin]

It's just a little bit of Philippine.

[John Hodgman]

Janet. Barney, I'm out here working the ref so that you actually figure it out.

[Janet Varney]

Well, first of all, I want to

[John Hodgman]

say it's called teamwork.

[Janet Varney]

Shout out to Dan Charming for getting out of the palace and getting over to the Haunted Mansion for a change. What a treat he's gonna have. Unfortunately, he's not gonna be able to bring the one thing that doesn't have pockets. A mirror.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Exactly right. The mirror does not have pockets. But a pool table, a kangaroo, and a pair of jeans, they do have pockets. Very good. Very good.

[John Hodgman]

Also, you're not allowed to. One thing they all have in common is you're not allowed to bring them into the haunted mansion.

[Elliot Kaelin]

I mean, you could wear a pair. Bring a pair of jeans if you're wearing them.

[John Hodgman]

Oh, yeah, you're right.

[Elliot Kaelin]

That's right. But a kangaroo.

[John Hodgman]

Sorry, I only go to the haunted mansion on formal nights, so I forgot about that.

[Janet Varney]

You guys, have you ever had a chance to go to, like, an animal wildlife sanctuary and see a baby pool table inside the little pocket of the pool table?

[Elliot Kaelin]

They're so cute. Sounds so adorable. Sounds adorable. Question number two. Trevor brought a pickle, a banana, a macadamia nut, and calamari. Which can he not bring in because it's the odd one out.

[John Hodgman]

A pickle, pickle.

[Elliot Kaelin]

A banana, A pickle, a banana, a macadamia nut, and calamari.

[John Hodgman]

My first thought, Janet, was like, you can fry a pickle and you can fry calamari, but I don't think you can. Can you fry. Well, you can fry a banana, not deep fry it, but in bananas foster, it is flambeed.

[Janet Varney]

Yeah. My concern is that they can all

[John Hodgman]

be flambed except for macadamia nut.

[Janet Varney]

I think you could flambe all of them. I'm gonna go ahead and say I can't imagine that's it. I'm worried about people's allergies. I'm concerned that people may have calamari or macadamia nut allergies, But I think pickles and bananas tend to be more. Okay.

[John Hodgman]

Yeah. But we can only pick one calamari,

[Janet Varney]

banana, pickle, and macadamia.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Would you like a hint or not? Hint.

[John Hodgman]

Before you give us a hint, let me ask you this question. We have a 25% chance of getting it right. If we get it right and we don't know why, does it still count?

[Elliot Kaelin]

Precedent has been set. We call it the Sean Hayes exception. That if you get the answer right but don't know why it's the right answer you do still get the point is still considered a correct answer.

[John Hodgman]

Thank you, Sean Hayes. And so we have a backup plan.

[Janet Varney]

I don't think we're going to need it.

[Elliot Kaelin]

He was very adamant that he should still get the credit even if he didn't know why he was fighting.

[Podcast Bot/Announcer]

He's a fighter.

[Janet Varney]

Yeah, he's a fighter.

[Elliot Kaelin]

He is.

[Janet Varney]

I don't know if we're going to need it. I wrote these down and I'm looking at them and I see three words that all have a trio of A's separated by other letters. But I don't see that in pickle.

[John Hodgman]

That's smart because Orlando is also has O and O at the front and the back. Banana snackademia.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You're overthinking it, John. You're overthinking it. Janet, you got it exactly right. The answer is pickle. The others all have three A's in them. But John, you're stretching for more information than we need. Orlando is unreleased.

[Janet Varney]

I also did 10 vigorous and this is true jumping jacks before we started recording because I was in again a blind panic about the fact that I had just awakened and knew I had to do trivia. So I'm Gary boy.

[Elliot Kaelin]

I need the blood flowing your brain right away.

[John Hodgman]

I would have been happier to be on the east coast, honestly. Eastern time zone.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Question number three, Eric Michael brought a hornet, a net, a rocket and a pin. A hornet, a net, a rocket.

[Janet Varney]

I bet you did.

[John Hodgman]

A pin, a hornet, a net, a rocket and a pin.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Like a pin, like a button or, you know, something that sticks.

[John Hodgman]

One of these is not the name of a basketball team.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Sports Maniac John Hodgman gets it again. That's right.

[John Hodgman]

Get it right. The Charlotte Hornets, the Houston Rockets and the Brooklyn Nets, I believe are the three sports teams.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Excellent job. That's exactly right. That is the only one that is not the name of a an NBA team. Moving on. Jacob brought a marker, a billfold, a basket, and a tomahawk.

[Janet Varney]

I know what it is. I knew it was the second you finished the word tomahawk. There's.

[Elliot Kaelin]

What is it?

[Janet Varney]

Names at the beginning of each one of those words.

[John Hodgman]

A bill.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You're exactly right. Mark in marker, bill in billfold, Tom and Tomahawk. I don't know anyone named Bass or Bask. I know Bossk the bounty hunter from Empire Strikes Back. John, you know what I'm talking about. He's a Trandoshan. He was a reptile man. But I don't know anyone named Bass or Bass. I mean, there's. I guess there's Bass Reeves, the famous lawman, but he spelled it with two S's. So yes, you're exactly right. The point is you got the answer right. The answer is Vaskin.

[Janet Varney]

Don't talk yourself out of it, Elliot.

[Elliot Kaelin]

I don't know why I'm cutting the fight. We're Cutting the game. And finally, for this game, Ashley brought a laser, a radar gun, a care package, and meat. A laser, a radar gun, a care package and meat.

[John Hodgman]

Meat.

[Janet Varney]

Laser.

[John Hodgman]

Meat. Meat, obviously.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yes, meat. The noun, laser, radar, Care package for some.

[Janet Varney]

This is where I do go down the. If I don't know it right away, then I do start to worry. Why did you bring a laser? Why radar? What's in the care package? Meat, obviously might get hungry.

[John Hodgman]

Yeah, I mean, it's true that a radar gun, a laser, and meat is my favorite care package.

[Janet Varney]

All I know is that the letter A exists in all of these and is being used in all its forms. All the different ways you could hear the letter A said, Ah, A.

[Elliot Kaelin]

It is the beautiful rainbow of a sound. Yeah, it's all in there. Yeah.

[Janet Varney]

Again, that kid.

[Elliot Kaelin]

All right, I'm going to.

[John Hodgman]

I gotta tell you, I'm stumped. Is there a hint available?

[Edward Jones Advertiser]

Yeah, let's hint.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Actually, here's. It's about the words rather than the objects, right? There's something that is. There's something much like tomahawk and billfold.

[John Hodgman]

There's a word.

[Elliot Kaelin]

There's something similar between these three names that one of them does not have.

[John Hodgman]

Oh, okay, I got you. Oh, well, wait a minute. So laser and radar are both initialisms, I believe, but care package and M, E, A, T. I mean, you want

[Janet Varney]

to say meet just because meat stands out. As you're saying the words aloud, meat feels very different than the others.

[John Hodgman]

Is there an initialism in meat or care package?

[Elliot Kaelin]

I think you're heading in the right direction, so you're on the right trail. So I think you should make a choice and then see which one. See if it's the.

[John Hodgman]

Right now we have a 5050 choice.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yes, exactly.

[John Hodgman]

And by the haze rule, we might just.

[Janet Varney]

What are we choosing between? Which two are we choosing between?

[John Hodgman]

And meat and care package.

[Janet Varney]

Care package. I mean, I feel like care is definitely an acronym. I don't know if all. The package also has more ye.

[John Hodgman]

That feels more initialist to me than meat.

[Elliot Kaelin]

So is your answer meat?

[John Hodgman]

Channet.

[Janet Varney]

Let's go with meat because that was our first weird instinct for no particular reason too.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You're right. The answer is meat because the others are all acronyms. Laser stands for light amplification by the stimulated emission of radiation. Radar is radio detection and ranging. And care was originally cooperate for American remittances to Europe because it was food deliveries to Europe from America in the 1940s, and now it's.

[John Hodgman]

That's where their package comes from.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yes, it's a trademark term, but it's just used generically now. Whereas meat, that doesn't stand for anything. It would stand for, like, meat to eat and tummy or something like that. It can't have the word meat in it, you know?

[John Hodgman]

Right.

[Janet Varney]

For school children everywhere, the meat program could be me, excellent at tests.

[Elliot Kaelin]

That's true.

[Janet Varney]

Just remember, before you take that test, kids, meat.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Just remember meat, the acronym that undercuts the education.

[Podcast Bot/Announcer]

Get out.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Well, you did a great job. You got there. In the end, of course, we brought an extra item to this game. We call it the Mega Clue.

[John Hodgman]

Muh mu mu mu mu mu mu mu. Mega clue.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Thank you. I appreciate it. It seems that after the band members dropped off their extra stuff, they all chickened out and decided not to ride the Haunted Mansion after all. I get it. That place is full of ghosts. It's right in the name, you know, when you're going in. As they were picking up their left behind items, they realized that these items also had a common theme. And I'm gonna tell you what those items are and you'll tell me what is the common theme? Those items were mirror, pickle, pin, basket, and meat. What do they have in common? Mirror, pickle, pickle, pin, basket, and meat.

[Janet Varney]

Mirror, pickle, pin, basket.

[John Hodgman]

I know the answer.

[Janet Varney]

You do?

[John Hodgman]

Yeah.

[Podcast Bot/Announcer]

What is?

[Elliot Kaelin]

So you knew the answer until you were asked, what's the answer?

[John Hodgman]

Can you add ball to all of them?

[Elliot Kaelin]

Yes. They are all types of ball. Mirror, ball, pickleball, pinball, basketball, and meatball. They left behind their balls. This is a family podcast. We'll just move on from that.

[Janet Varney]

Sounds good.

[Elliot Kaelin]

You don't sound too. Don't explore that idea any further. You did a great job. You got everything in these two games. That's wonderful, listeners. Did you do as well as Dan and John in that game? If so, remember what underwear you're wearing today because it's your lucky pair. Actually, you might forget. Just never change them. Always keep them on. And I'm getting the sign from producer Devin that we should wrap up the show. Before I give you any more questionable life advice. Before we go, I'd like to thank Janet Varney and John. I said John Hodgman.

[John Hodgman]

That's right.

[Elliot Kaelin]

Before we go, I'd like to thank Janet Varney and John Hodgman for being guests who will live on in legend. And I'd like to thank you, the listener, for being an audience that will live on in whatever town you live in right now. Unless you move, which case, you'll live on there. We'll be back next week with more Smartless Presents Clueless. Until then, I'm your host Elliot Kaelin, reminding you that I don't enter the public domain until the year 2077. Can't wait to see what you do with me then. Goodbye everybody.

[John Hodgman]

Bye Clueless.

[Show Host Elliot Kaelin (closing remarks)]

You have been listening to Smartless Presents Clueless, a Smartless Media production in association with Sirius xm. Your host is Elliot Kaelin, who also writes our scripts. Today's contestants were Janet Varney and John Hodgman. Check out their show E Pluribus motto anywhere you get your podcasts. Your producer, editor and engineer is Devin Tory Bryant, who is me. I also write all the music and sound effects. Today's puzzles were written by Jason Reich. Talent producer is Anne Harris, Associate Producer Maddy McCann Social media producer Tommy Galgano. Executive producers are Elliot Kaelin, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky. Remember to follow, subscribe, rate and review the show. It really helps. That's all for now. We will see you again for more.

[John Hodgman]

Smart less me.

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[Podcast Bot/Announcer]

We get the W because we push forward no matter what gets in our way.

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Every obstacle fuels our determination. Each victory proves our perseverance.

[Janet Varney]

And any challenge is just another chance

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[Podcast Bot/Announcer]

up win after win after win.

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