"Bill Burr"

Summary

SmartLess Podcast Episode Summary: "Bill Burr"
Release Date: February 24, 2025

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Introduction to Bill Burr and Early Experiences
Timestamp: 00:05 – 09:00

The episode opens with Bill Burr humorously recounting his arrival at the SmartLess Podcast studio, highlighting a minor scheduling mix-up:

• Bill Burr (00:05): “It's funny, they told me to be here by 8:45 even though the podcast starts at 9:30.”

Jason Bateman shares a relatable story about unexpected buffalo chicken dumplings at a lunch spot, setting a light-hearted tone:

• Jason Bateman (00:24): “But you know, this is a temple, as JB would say.”
• Bill Burr (01:33): “I had two. They were delicious.”

The conversation shifts to Bill’s dog, Ricky, and a humorous yet concerning incident involving Prozac:

• Sean Hayes (02:15): “Ricky jumps up, knocks it over, and eats 10 of them.”
• Bill Burr (05:29): “When you're not there, we get along great. It's when I'm home.”

Bill Burr’s Stand-Up Comedy Journey
Timestamp: 09:01 – 21:00

Bill Burr delves into his experiences performing stand-up comedy, particularly a challenging show in Philadelphia where he faced a hostile audience:

• Bill Burr (14:12): “I thought the Curse of the Babe thing was just all bullshit.”
• Bill Burr (16:00): “It was like 10,000 people booing me. But then I just started trashing their sports teams.”

He shares a poignant moment when a heckler threw a shoe at him during a performance:

• Bill Burr (21:10): “I looked at this shoe, and then they all started laughing.”
• Bill Burr (23:03): “We gave a big hug. I gave her a shoe back.”

Bill discusses the evolution of his approach to negative feedback and online criticism:

• Bill Burr (24:15): “I don't give a what a hundred people on Twitter say, a bunch of losers.”
• Bill Burr (25:24): “If you make the decision to take what I said seriously, doesn't mean that I now meant it.”

Transition to Directing and Acting
Timestamp: 21:00 – 44:35

Shifting gears, Bill Burr talks about his foray into directing with his project "Old Dads":

• Bill Burr (43:25): “I knew I was in trouble directing.”
• Bill Burr (43:51): “I wasn't trying to be Stanley Kubrick, so I was just trying to make you laugh.”

He reflects on balancing his stand-up career with acting roles in popular series like "Breaking Bad" and "The Mandalorian":

• Bill Burr (44:13): “I absolutely love it. Like, I got a Gig coming up next year doing Broadway for the first time.”
• Sean Hayes (40:54): “Produced, directed, and starred in 'Old Dads.'”

Bill humorously critiques the complexity of directing while collaborating with Ben Tischler:

• Bill Burr (46:04): “We had a scene there. I wasn't trying to be Stanley Kubrick, so I was just trying to make you laugh.”

Personal Life and Family Insights
Timestamp: 44:35 – 55:34

Bill Burr opens up about his upbringing and the supportive yet artistic influence of his parents:

• Bill Burr (28:02): “My dad was a dentist, but he's a narcissist, so he thought he was a doctor.”
• Bill Burr (29:03): “She knew that that could be a thing or whatever.”

He shares touching anecdotes about his mother’s quick response to a medical emergency:

• Bill Burr (29:16): “She just knows that that could be a thing or whatever.”
• Bill Burr (30:00): “They were able to break up the clot.”

Discussing his children, Bill expresses the joys and surprises of fatherhood:

• Bill Burr (50:17): “My son is just three, and he's already referencing Kojak.”
• Bill Burr (50:21): “We both started cracking up.”

Reflections on Comedy and Social Media
Timestamp: 24:14 – 34:16

Bill Burr reflects on the impact of social movements and social media on comedy:

• Bill Burr (24:15): “There's that weird period in standup where it started with the MeToo movement.”
• Bill Burr (25:29): “I'm just trying to make you laugh.”

He criticizes the often superficial responses from mainstream media and institutions:

• Bill Burr (26:11): “I hate when we fucking do shit like that and we think, like, that stupid gesture is still about us.”
• Bill Burr (27:04): “I had to be on the right side of history.”

Closing Thoughts and Final Banter
Timestamp: 55:34 – End

As the episode wraps up, Bill Burr and the hosts engage in playful banter, discussing future projects and mutual respect:

• Jason Bateman (52:33): “We love you, Bill. Despite everything, we love you.”
• Bill Burr (52:58): “Thank you guys, for having me.”

Bill shares his experiences with podcasting, emphasizing its importance in his creative process:

• Bill Burr (47:21): “It started off with the MySpace page and you would post it.”
• Bill Burr (49:15): “I can go into flow mode.”

The hosts commend Bill Burr's multifaceted career, highlighting his prowess in both comedy and acting:

• Sean Hayes (40:51): “What a great actor you are.”
• Will Arnett (44:35): “I love you guys.”

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Bill Burr (00:05): “It's funny, they told me to be here by 8:45 even though the podcast starts at 9:30.”
• Bill Burr (14:12): “It was like 10,000 people booing me. But then I just started trashing their sports teams.”
• Bill Burr (21:10): “I looked at this shoe, and then they all started laughing.”
• Bill Burr (24:15): “I don't give a what a hundred people on Twitter say, a bunch of losers.”
• Bill Burr (25:29): “I'm just trying to make you laugh.”
• Bill Burr (29:03): “She knew that that could be a thing or whatever.”
• Bill Burr (50:17): “My son is just three, and he's already referencing Kojak.”

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Conclusion

This episode of SmartLess offers an in-depth look into Bill Burr's life, blending humor with heartfelt reflections. From his challenging early stand-up experiences to his ventures into directing and acting, Burr provides listeners with a candid glimpse into the journey of a comedian navigating the complexities of fame, personal growth, and the evolving landscape of comedy in the digital age.

Transcript

[Bill Burr]

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and I am in the waiting room waiting for the. The three gentlemen, we'll call them, of the Smartless Podcast. It's funny, they told me to be here by 8:45 even though the podcast starts at 9:30. So sort of a point of contention already. But this is the Smartless Podcast. Here we go.

[Jason Bateman]

Smart, smart. Here's a nice. You guys appreciate this. I decided I'm gonna go to. I was hanging with our buddy at his house over in the West Village, and then our other buddy Chris Henchy showed up and we were chit chatting. And Chris Henchy is always good for a million laughs. And I said, I'm gonna go to Cafe Clooney for lunch solo. And he goes, oh, you gotta have the buffalo chicken dumplings. I go where? He's like, they're dumplings, but they're in buffalo chicken sauce. I go, henchy, it's not part of my freaking diet. He's like, oh. My buddy runs up. I said, oh, yeah, thanks, man. But you know, this is a temple, as JB would say.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Jason Bateman]

So I walk over.

[Will Arnett]

Body's no fluke.

[Jason Bateman]

No fluke. And I walk over there. Beautiful noon on a Monday. Snow, just like heavy snow starting.

[Will Arnett]

Beautiful.

[Jason Bateman]

Tucked into a corner. I order a salad and a little bit of chicken with some veggies. That's it. And the waitress comes over, plunks down some buffalo chicken dumplings, and I'm like. I text Angie. I'm like, you motherfucker.

[Will Arnett]

Oh, he called ahead.

[Jason Bateman]

He called it in. My buddy's sitting in the corner. Can you deliver some?

[Sean Hayes]

That's funny. And they were. Did you have them?

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, I had two. They were delicious.

[Will Arnett]

They look like they had a lot of sodium in them.

[Jason Bateman]

Do they? No, no, no. Do they?

[Bill Burr]

Well, they.

[Will Arnett]

No, they don't. You look too beautiful.

[Jason Bateman]

Am I looking.

[Sean Hayes]

I wanted to tell you about Ricky. What happened to Ricky? This is pretty wild.

[Will Arnett]

Gervais.

[Sean Hayes]

No, my dog.

[Jason Bateman]

You got another special.

[Will Arnett]

Wait, did he lose a number?

[Jason Bateman]

Is he bringing the office back? What's happening? I love that we always go to you for our Ricky Gervais news. You're always up on what Ricky's up to.

[Sean Hayes]

I like to keep up on it. No, he.

[Will Arnett]

Tracy, Ricky is my dog.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, she knows that. So he was being watched by this friend of ours who watches a lot of dogs or whatever. And one of the dogs that this person was watching has to take Prozac, right?

[Will Arnett]

Oh, sure, of course. Los Angeles dog.

[Sean Hayes]

Yes. Yeah.

[Jason Bateman]

Lots of problems in the world. But California dogs need antidepressants.

[Will Arnett]

It's pretty stressful. It drops from 68 to 72 without any warning.

[Jason Bateman]

You can bail out now if you want, by the way.

[Sean Hayes]

No, no.

[Jason Bateman]

Okay. You're in deep. Yeah. You're wasted.

[Sean Hayes]

So she gives the dog his one Prozac, and she puts the bottle on the counter, and Ricky jumps up, knocks it over, and eats 10 of them. 10 Prozac. I'm not kidding. And so it's such a long story, but we had to take him to the vet, blah, blah, blah. And they had to make him throw up or whatever. And I'm talking to the vet, and I'm like, what's the deal? And he's like, well, there's 50. 50 chance. I'm like. That he's gonna die. He goes, yeah, like so. Matter of fact. And I was like. I kind of appreciated that he said, it's so cavalier. But I was also like, bedside Manor was really bad. Anyway, and then the story is, he's all good.

[Jason Bateman]

I said to Sean, I said, I thought he was gonna say that Ricky ate 10 Prozac and joined up with people, you know, like, just got real positive and started touring the world, just bringing joy to everybody, you know?

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

All right, so let's get to the guest.

[Jason Bateman]

Okay.

[Sean Hayes]

My guest today is a fellow podcaster. He's one of the funniest people. A Boston native, he's a passionate Patriots fan. He's one of the few comedians to sell at Madison Square Garden, London's Royal Albert hall. And two years ago, he made history as the first comedian to ever perform at Fenway Park. Our listeners have seen him in one of his 8 billion brilliant comedy specials or live tours.

[Will Arnett]

But did Will get it?

[Sean Hayes]

Did Will get what?

[Jason Bateman]

Did I say Bill Burr?

[Will Arnett]

You said Bill Burr.

[Sean Hayes]

I don't know. Maybe. And he's been on my smart list for years. Hilarious. Bill Burr. It's Bill Burr.

[Bill Burr]

What's up, guys?

[Sean Hayes]

Hey. So sorry about the delay. We've been having all this.

[Bill Burr]

I wasn't just enjoying the podcast. You know about dogs with Prozac? I mean, that's. How would you know the dog is depressed? I mean, it doesn't.

[Sean Hayes]

I know.

[Bill Burr]

What did I talk to you about? What was it? Was it the way it played with the ball?

[Sean Hayes]

Well, I wasn't watching the one that needed it, but I imagine the same thing. Like, how do you.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, you needed Prozac and the dog ate it.

[Jason Bateman]

No, a different dog at the dog.

[Will Arnett]

A different dog had a dog. Prozac.

[Jason Bateman]

You Were listening to a different podcast, Bill, I think. Hey, hey. I would. This is what I would say.

[Bill Burr]

It's me. Like, you got upsold by that vet.

[Jason Bateman]

It does.

[Bill Burr]

From milk bones to fucking.

[Jason Bateman]

I would venture to say that there are, you know, in the same way that they say that people look like their dogs, I bet you it's a little bit of sort of projection from the owner. Like, my dog needs Prozac. Like, does your dog need Prozac? Or do you.

[Will Arnett]

Or does Scotty. Now, just hold on a second here. This is a huge booking.

[Jason Bateman]

I know, Bill.

[Will Arnett]

You know, Bill, you know, you don't need to do this. What. What do you does.

[Bill Burr]

When you kept losing your Internet? I was thinking about that. I was like, how is this helping me? No, it did. It did help my relationship. I got out of the house, which gives my wife, you know, a break from me, which is always nice.

[Will Arnett]

Do you find that. I find that my relationship is better when I'm working out of town.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. When I'm not there, we get along great. It's when I'm home.

[Will Arnett]

And then. Do you feel stressed to pick up the phone every night and talk? Well, what did you do today? Here's what I did today. Or do you. Are you comfortable going a couple of days without talking if there's not really something to really discuss?

[Bill Burr]

I don't do that, but I just try to make her laugh. So I just call up and just be a goofball. Lighten up the mood, you know?

[Will Arnett]

Your humor still works for her.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, it actually does. My wife has a great sense of humor. She's actually. Believe it or not, I think she's funnier than a lot of comedians I know. Like, she's, like, hilarious.

[Jason Bateman]

So that's not hard.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, that's not hard.

[Jason Bateman]

But. But let me ask you this. And, Jason, you was very revealing the way you answered that question. Like, do you feel the pressure to call every night? That seems like. Do you want to elaborate on that?

[Will Arnett]

Yeah, wait, let me snore to Prozac. It's. Well, yeah, I mean, we're. You know, we're. What are we? We're 25 years into this thing, and, you know, and the kids don't want to talk to me. And so it really just leaves the wife. And if I don't have something that is really pressing to share, then, you know, sometimes we'll just be on the phone, we'll just hang there, and then we feel the stress of having to come up with some shit to say. And then, you know, and then. So no. Yeah, no, we don't really call unless there's. There's a hot topic or a hot, hot take.

[Bill Burr]

So it's basically sort of a business relationship at this point, you know? Yeah, we'll set up a zoom.

[Will Arnett]

Right?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Will Arnett]

I talked to her assistant. She says she's got something pressing and can I make some time between 3 and 4?

[Bill Burr]

No, I love talking to my wife. She's. She's hilarious. So good for you.

[Sean Hayes]

Wait, do you guys have. Do you have kids?

[Jason Bateman]

Wait, Jason. Hang on. One more time. And Jason, there's still room for you to go. I love my wife too. And I like. And we'll edit it. We'll. We'll close.

[Bill Burr]

Did you not.

[Will Arnett]

Oh, I must have cut out again. I, I said that pret. Emphatically.

[Bill Burr]

I believed it. I heard it at my.

[Will Arnett]

So much.

[Jason Bateman]

Bill, I. So I knew it was you when Sean did the intro in the, in the blind intro because I knew that you'd sold out Madison Square Garden and I knew that you sold out Royal Albert hall because I saw you at Royal Albert hall on one of your shows there, if you remember, a few years back. Unbelievable. Yeah, very honestly, it was really impressive. And you know, Bill, I'm not going to go crazy, but you know that I'm a fan and, and I have been.

[Will Arnett]

Why would he know that you write him letters?

[Jason Bateman]

Well, he knows that we know each other a little bit and, And I, I went to see him and it was unbelievable. Sold out Royal. It was so impressive and it was so. It was so awesome because I didn't.

[Bill Burr]

Come here for this.

[Jason Bateman]

I know you did it, but I want to say this.

[Bill Burr]

I'm not gonna sit here and get complimented for.

[Jason Bateman]

Well, it's also, it's also rare. It's also.

[Bill Burr]

Don't point it.

[Jason Bateman]

It's always. But I'll do whatever the I want. You're a Bruins fan. I'll treat you like one.

[Will Arnett]

Maple Leafs. Maple Leafs. Knocked the crap out of the Bruins last year. Was it?

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, it was.

[Bill Burr]

Six is their time of year.

[Will Arnett]

You know, you.

[Bill Burr]

January. I mean, they, they us, we were off to the first three games of a seven game series. You do not want any part of the Toronto Maple, Leafs. Those last four, though. Nothing but smooth sailing.

[Jason Bateman]

Jesus Christ.

[Will Arnett]

First of all, Sean, you know what the hell's going on.

[Sean Hayes]

But I, but I figured it out.

[Jason Bateman]

It's a little bit true. And, and you know, I, I love.

[Bill Burr]

A little bit true. It's, It's. It's been 50, not closer. Seven years.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah. It has been 57 years, but we're building because we like drama. Okay? We could be like you guys and be a, you know, one and done. You guys haven't won since you won back in 2008 or whatever.

[Bill Burr]

No, 2011. Yeah, last century. Last decade. You haven't won since Lyndon Johnson.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

You haven't. You haven't won since before we faked a lunar landing. It's been a while.

[Will Arnett]

I knew it.

[Jason Bateman]

Forgot that you're also a conspiracy theorist. I forgot like an.

[Bill Burr]

They were still playing with straight sticks. They didn't have the St. Makita. Hadn't figured it out yet.

[Jason Bateman]

It's true. Now, did you ever play?

[Bill Burr]

Didn't have a mask.

[Jason Bateman]

Did you? Did you?

[Bill Burr]

Curly Johnson between the pipes tonight. And a young Will Arnett. All right, let's get off. Sorry, Sean.

[Will Arnett]

First question for your guest.

[Sean Hayes]

I have. I have a ton. Well, I don't know, like. Well, first of all, just a comment. It's not a thing. I saw you. The first time I think I ever met you was at Ted Saramdes house sometime last year at this comedy dinner thing. And I was. You were one of the good guys.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, the Medieval manor.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, it's a total medieval manor. Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

I always feel like when I go there, at some point all our AI replacements are going to come up out of the basement for approval. Kill their human. Human versions like, AI Dave Chappelle's gonna come up. Gotcha, bitch.

[Sean Hayes]

Well, for my sister Tracy, Ted Saran was the head of Netflix. But anyway, so we were there, and I'd never met you before, and the first thing you said was, I had something in my teeth. I had a piece of food in my teeth, and I didn't even say anything. And I handed you, I think, like a sugar packet, and you just went right in there, stuck your finger in my mouth, and you just got it out. And you were like, oh, this guy's. This guy's really cool.

[Bill Burr]

Solid. I was going to let you walk around looking like that. I know everyone was talking about you at that point.

[Will Arnett]

Shot you'd had enough.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, for sure.

[Bill Burr]

Somebody had. I wanted to be on the right side of history. You know, guys, I've been out here in L. A long enough, and I just felt like, you know, I needed to tap into my inner hero.

[Will Arnett]

How long have you been out? How long have you been in Los Angeles?

[Bill Burr]

Since 2007.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, I didn't know you lived here.

[Bill Burr]

I love it out here. I love it out here, and I like reading Natives of Los Angeles. Because they love Los Angeles and they know the history of it. And I just can't meet another stupid fucking New Yorker that is bitching about how much they fucking hate it. And everybody's so real in New York. Like, nobody lies on Wall Street. Everybody's just, you know, Contractor says It's gonna take two weeks in New York. It's done in 13 days. It's so fucking stupid. And they're the worst traveled people ever. New Yorkers, they get so freaked out. Like, they go to Hong Kong and be like, let me get a bacon, egg and cheese. And then they couldn't get it. This fucking place sucks.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

What's the point of traveling if everything's going to be different?

[Jason Bateman]

I love. I. Bill, I'm so with you. I'm glad you're banging this drum.

[Bill Burr]

They come out here, dude. They give up on their dream and to make it in this business. Because they don't like the pizza.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, exactly. And then they go. And then they go. In New York, we get to walk around everywhere. I'm like, fucking. Then get out of your car and walk around. I'm not stopping you from fucking walking around. Shut the fuck up.

[Bill Burr]

And also, they're homesick. They're homesick. They're pussies. They're pussies. And they act like they're tough because there are tough people in New York. But not you. You're an actor. You're doing a soliloquy. All right, let's not act like you grew up in Brownsville with Mike Tyson. You did.

[Sean Hayes]

And they're standing outside shivering like crazy saying, isn't New York great? Is New York LA sucks?

[Bill Burr]

It drives me up the wall about New Yorkers. They think that Frank Sinatra song, New York, New York is about them. It's not about growing up in New York with the support system. It's about not knowing anybody there and moving there.

[Will Arnett]

Right?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. It's not growing up. And you got your mother here, your dad over there, and you get to go home. Like, show business was mean to me today. And they rub your fucking head. It's about going there. You don't know anybody like Frank. Frank Sinatra was bridging Tunnel, came in for New Jersey, and then he had hits and then they fucking claimed him. Yeah. Steinbrenner was from fucking Cleveland, Ohio. I'm telling you, a lot of the shit that happens in there is. Is from other people, Right?

[Jason Bateman]

The rest of them, Bill, you ever think about getting a car with, like, a loudspeaker on the top and driving around town. That would be good.

[Bill Burr]

I don't have to. I do. Stand up.

[Jason Bateman]

No, but this might be more. More of the people like you could just give it to people on the street.

[Bill Burr]

Hey, you.

[Jason Bateman]

You. Are you fucking missing? You take the fucking Yankees hat off. You haven't been doing a Yankees game in 12 years. You know what I mean?

[Bill Burr]

That's a big misnomer. Am I using that right? That people think that I walk around doing that shit? I don't.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

I only do it when it's done to me. So I've had it. Like, I lived in New York City during the height of the stupid Curse of the Babe thing, which was just all bullshit.

[Sean Hayes]

What's that? What's that?

[Bill Burr]

It was this fairy tale that white people made up because we didn't want to admit that the Red Sox didn't integrate till like 1992. And that's why we couldn't win, because we traded some fat fuck like during World War I. And that's. And if you do that, all of a sudden, you're not. I mean, at some point, when are you gonna take responsibility that you had an white team right through the middle mid-60s.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, my God. Wait, but that. I. I'm gonna. I might want to talk about something that you're probably so sick of talking about. But I didn't know this until I watched it just recently, the Philly incident thing. So if you don't want to talk about it, we don't have to talk about it. But I. I was talking about it.

[Will Arnett]

Film me.

[Sean Hayes]

Okay.

[Bill Burr]

She told me she was of age.

[Will Arnett]

Uh huh. That's all I need.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, not that one. Not that one. No, no, no, no.

[Jason Bateman]

Not for here. Not for here.

[Sean Hayes]

No, no, no, no. This is funny. So Jay, he was in Philadelphia and he was doing standup, and right away he got a heckler that booed him. And it goes. And he hits back. He doubles down, then triples down and pushes the audience. I watched the whole thing. I couldn't stop laughing. It was so fucking funny how you turned on the audience so hard and for so long.

[Will Arnett]

Wait, I don't know.

[Sean Hayes]

And he was counting the minutes long. And by the way, you ended that whole rant in Philly with all of you go fuck yourselves in your own assholes.

[Bill Burr]

Well, I wanted to make sure it was consensual.

[Will Arnett]

I've gotta see this. This is YouTube.

[Sean Hayes]

It's 14 minutes of him non stop berating the audience.

[Will Arnett]

And I was crying because of one heckler. Got after you.

[Sean Hayes]

No, no. The guy kept Going and going and going.

[Bill Burr]

It was this radio show, the Opie and Anthony show. One of the big breaks I had in my career. Opie, Anthony and Jimmy Norton got me on that show, and that's when I first started selling tickets. So they had a bunch of comics on there, the late, great Patrice O'Neill, Voss, Bobby Kelly, all of these guys. And they decided to do a standup tour. And it was, you know, sort of a Howard Stern style show. So you knew it was gonna be a hostile crowd. So we were doing this tour, and we kind of knew the Philly show was coming. We just didn't know which city it was gonna be. We knew it was gonna happen. So it was. We showed up. I forget where it was. It was right across Camden, New Jersey. It was a long time ago. And the fucking Philly people, they were like, tailgating. They had like, eel's jerseys on, throwing footballs. It was fucking wild. It looked like it was either gonna be a football game or a metal show. So the first guy went up and got booed. Oh, God, it was so bad. The sun was still out, and he was from Philly and he had half his family there. It was so fucking bad. They were all chanting, asshole, asshole. And I remember he didn't know what to do. He's like there in the headlights, and as they're going, asshole, asshole. He just goes, thanks a lot. You guys have been great. And I. I went on like, you know, a couple hours after that, and the sun had gone. I made a few mistakes getting into it. And then they got on me and they all started booing. It's Philly.

[Will Arnett]

What does a mistake. What does a mistake look like?

[Bill Burr]

I. I think I went out there, I was worried, so I was timid. So I was on my heel. And, you know, the crowd subconsciously senses that. And then I also think I might have done. Started to do a bit. And I was like, wait a minute. I think they played this bit on the radio. And then I got in my head, did they already know this joke? So I was sort of like a half click behind doing the joke, and it didn't work. And then I go, what the f. I can't remember. I just remember I thought it was the end of my career, I'll be honest with you. So it was like 10,000 people booing me. But then I just started trashing their sports teams, and that's what saved me and them. Well, it was because it was the tri State area, so there was, you know, if I made fun of the Flyers. It was Devils fans and Capitals fans. So I got pockets of people like, laughing.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, everybody.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

And this was before the Phillies won another World Series. They had won like one world series in 100 years. And.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

You know, and then they also did a bunch of dumb shit, like, you know, put up a statue of Rocky but not Joe Frazier. Like, they put one up of a fake white boxer, an actor. So it was pretty easy. I've never watched it. I'll be honest with you. I never watched it.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, my God.

[Bill Burr]

I was riding home with Bobby Kelly, one of my great friends in this business, and he. I was just quiet. I had like a fucking headache.

[Sean Hayes]

And it did the opposite, by the way. It, like, it became viral and like, you became huge from that not being.

[Bill Burr]

No, but I didn't know how people were going to take it on the Internet. I thought they were just going to watch it and see me getting booed. And I thought everyone was going to make fun, you know, I, I, I catastrophized. So we were driving back up, whatever that that highway is, and I remember Bobby was going, he's like, dude, you just told the whole city of Philly to go themselves or whatever. And I was kind of like, dude, I, I don't want to, I don't want to talk about it. I want to talk about it. It's going to come out on the Internet. This is going to be a disaster. And then I was also worried that, like, everywhere I went, they were gonna do that. Like, that was gonna be my thing. Cause I, no one knew who I was. And this was my first big viral thing. And it wasn't me doing material, it was me getting booed. And then I did the Next City on the tour, and I was walking around backstage and people in the crowd saw me and they were going, boo before I even went out there.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, geez.

[Bill Burr]

So I remember I was talking to those guys going, guys, you gotta put me on early. You gotta give me a chance. And they didn't. They put me on late. And I walked out and they just started booing me. And I was just like, guys, I'm not gonna do this, I'm not gonna do this. And then it was funny. They were like hitting me up on MySpace. This is how long it was, people of Cleveland being like, dude, there could have been such a great moment in comedy and you ruined it. Blah, blah. It was so funny. Like a lot of listeners of the Opie and Anthony show, the fans thought they were really educated on stand up comedy. To the Point that they would lecture standup comedians about it, which is fucking hilarious. I mean, I've watched some plumbing videos, but I don't think I would ever sit there talking to a plumber going like, hey, you know, I think I'm gonna use a different size C clamp there. So, yeah, that's what I was worried about. So my next gig I had after that was the punchline. And I went from 10,000 people on the tour to just doing this perfect sized comedy club that was only like 180 people. And I was, like, terrified in the green room. That's how my brain used to think. I used to catastrophize. I don't do it anymore. But I used to be. And then this is gonna happen. This happened. And I'm gonna live up home with my parents and I'm gonna watch them die. I would literally do that over a bad set. So I went up on stage at the punchline, and it was like, these were fans of my act. The Opie and Anthony show wasn't in San Francisco. And then also the big thing is I could see all of them, Right. It takes no balls to boo somebody. When you're in row 40 on up, I can't see you. You know what I mean?

[Sean Hayes]

Right, right, right.

[Bill Burr]

So I could really, you know, get them.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

We'll be right back.

[Will Arnett]

All right, back to the show.

[Sean Hayes]

Has there ever been a heckler that's been really good?

[Bill Burr]

Oh, yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

Like funny. Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Or just bizarre.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

I would say, like the angrier people. Cause then it's this weird thing where you have to get them so you maintain the audience's respect. But if you get them too. Well, are they coming up here now?

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, right.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, I had a woman throw a shoe at me. 1. I was doing a gig in Spanish Harlem for this comic, Smokey, who's absolutely hilarious. Remember he had this hilarious bit about a crackhead trying to steal a parrot out of a pet store. And he would have like the mic under his shirt yelling, I came in with it. I came in with it. He was fucking hilarious. Right? So it was like this weird sort of like, you know, it was like a satellite room. So it wasn't a comedy club. It was almost like, you know, like when those lecture halls with the teachers way down and they go up like that. Yeah. So I was doing the gig, right? And I'm doing the thing, and I was like sort of like leaning forward as I was doing this, and the shoe came down. Cause I got into with this woman. And it hit me, like, right on my inner thigh. And I immediately was gonna get mad. You know, somebody throws something on stage. But it was. And then. But then there was this tension. Cause it was an all black crowd. I'm a white dude. Like, what's gonna happen? And I was able to turn it around. Cause I looked, you know, I picked up this shoe, and the shoe was. Oh, my God. It looked like it got dragged down the street by a bus, right? So it was, like, really quiet in the place. I was like, you know, I was gonna get mad, but then I looked at this shoe, and then they all started laughing, and I was like. And I realized, this isn't about me. This is about a childhood of no hugs. I forget what it was. And all I remember was I got everyone to laugh again. And then she came down to the stage to get her shoe. Wow.

[Sean Hayes]

Jesus. Oh, wow.

[Bill Burr]

So I was like, what are we doing? We gonna, like, hug this out. We gonna hug it out. And she was cool. She came up, we gave a big hug. I gave her a shoe back.

[Sean Hayes]

Wow.

[Bill Burr]

And it was so cool. Like, a few weeks later, I was riding the downtown six. I was living on the Upper east side at the time, and I ran into this woman that was at the show, and she was just like, I was at your show. And that woman threw the shoe. And she goes, me and my friends are still talking about that. Blah, blah, blah, blah. You know, like, once again, no one knew who I was.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, Y.

[Bill Burr]

Those little, like, moments of validation of like, oh, my God, like, they went to my show. Not only did they like it, they're talking about it like they remembered you.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Well, yeah, Those are those little things along the way as you keep getting, you know, kicked in the chest that keep you going.

[Jason Bateman]

I wanted to. Bill, I wanted to ask this just about something that you mentioned earlier reminded me, because I've seen you talk about it before, and I remember talking about somebody asking you if you were nervous about.

[Bill Burr]

Fuck.

[Jason Bateman]

I forget what it was.

[Bill Burr]

Whether it was like, Conan is the answer. Whatever it is.

[Jason Bateman]

If you were nervous about. No was the answer about what people know. Is Bill Maher asking what you would. What your reaction to. What your reaction was to people online and their comments about that you said. And I loved what you said at the time, which is like, I don't give a what a hundred people on Twitter say, a bunch of losers. And you kind of went off on a bit of.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, yeah, that is true. Yes.

[Jason Bateman]

Right? And. And talk a little bit about that. Because I remember you. Because earlier you were saying it was early on in. In probably in social media, when you did the show in the Opium Nandy show in Philadelphia, and then you were worried about what it was gonna do online, it'd go viral, blah, blah, blah. Now you don't give a shit about what people say. Is that true? Kind of what I'm getting at.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. I just kind of learned, you know, there was that weird period in standup where it started with the MeToo movement, which was amazing, that it went from like, let's get rapists and sexual assaulters out of the business. And within, like, 18 months, it became like, hey, I don't like what you're talking about in your standup act.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Your career, it just got spun out of control, like, so. And then that's when people started. I would be doing interviews and they were saying, you know, some of the statements you made last night on stage, it's like, there was no statements. Yeah, there was no statement. Yeah. And what I would just always say is, like, listen, you know, I'm up there joking around, all right? If you make the decision to take what I said seriously, doesn't mean that I now meant it. It.

[Jason Bateman]

Right.

[Bill Burr]

You know what I mean? So you're free to do that if that's what you want to do. You're not going to have a good time.

[Will Arnett]

Right.

[Bill Burr]

You know what I mean? Like, I was in some. I was in some place recently, and there was a giant river next to the theater, just rushing down the thing. I was like, you know, this is a great city to kill your wife. Just throw it in and it goes down. You know, they have no idea where she is. Just a stupid thing like that. Right now. If you go like. And then there's going to be somebody in there, you know, my best friend got killed by his husband. It's like, yeah, well, I didn't do it. You know, he's in every city. I'm not saying to do it. I'm being ridiculous. I said that. I have to explain comedy to you. Like, why would you.

[Sean Hayes]

I know.

[Will Arnett]

Here, do we think that that's over now? Like, yeah, Shani. Right. I mean, it never happened.

[Jason Bateman]

It never happened.

[Bill Burr]

It was in New. It was in New York and la. But then as a comedian, you went out on the road. But the problem is, is all of these people that were, like, sort of controlling that narrative sort of sit here in New York or la, and then.

[Will Arnett]

With their hands on the buttons.

[Bill Burr]

Well, that's their universe. Yeah. That's why my favorite thing in the world is watching these idiots on award shows lecturing people about race. Right? You know, they go up there and they gotta say something about that and homophobia, blah, blah, blah, whatever the fuck they're doing. And you look at Hollywood, they're just now integrated, like sports integrated, like, almost 80 fucking years ago, right? And then now they're just getting around to giving more people opportunities. And it's, you know, it's like, what the fuck? What fucking world are you gonna sit here in, like, lecture? Because what? Oh, you know, black lives matter. You had your Instagram page all black for one day. Wow.

[Sean Hayes]

Wow. Yeah. Way to go. Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

I had to be on the right side of history. That's what I love about my people. And I always say my people. I hate when. You know. And I was guilty of that. When white people say white people, it's like, no, it's us. I hate when we fucking do shit like that and we think, like, that stupid gesture is still about us. I had to, you guys. I just had to use my voice to fucking play. It's like, you didn't even leave your fucking apartment.

[Sean Hayes]

Right? I know, I know. We didn't even get into, like, the. Like. I don't. Like. I'm like, Will and Jason, I'm a big fan, and I, you know, wanted you on the show for a couple years now. Cause I just. I laugh every time I see you and.

[Jason Bateman]

Were you supposed to be on the show once and it didn't work out? We had a time.

[Bill Burr]

I know.

[Will Arnett]

We've been trying for a while.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, I had a meltdown. I couldn't figure it out. So now I have a guy that helps me out.

[Sean Hayes]

That's good, but. So you were born in Massachusetts. Your parents were doctors, right? Your dad, or your mom was a dentist?

[Bill Burr]

No, my dad was a dentist, but he's a narcissist, so he thought he was a doctor.

[Will Arnett]

Okay.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know.

[Bill Burr]

He also thought I had a stomach ache and it was a ruptured appendix, but that's a different story. What did mom do? She was a nurse.

[Will Arnett]

Okay?

[Bill Burr]

My mom's a beast. My mom's a beast. Ccrnicu. She had all the letters. And I remember one of the funniest things ever as far as, like, a job becomes a job. I was dropping her off at work. We pull in, she just goes, ah, Christ, will you look at all those ambulances? And I just burst it out laughing. She goes, I know, I know. I shouldn't look at it that way. But she was like, like, ah, that's good. Yeah. She's, she has, she's. I've seen her save a couple people's lives, like when they had issues.

[Sean Hayes]

I love that.

[Bill Burr]

I love that in public she just like knows what to do. Yeah. Someone was having a stroke and she immediately looked at her watch and all of that stuff and knew that this, they have this enzyme, thank God now that they can shoot in and if they do it within some amount of.

[Jason Bateman]

Time, within the first hour.

[Sean Hayes]

What do you mean? What do you mean?

[Jason Bateman]

My, my. I had a family member who just had it six months ago and he got it 58 minutes after having his first symptoms of the doctors of having a stroke. And the doctor said, you're lucky that you got it.

[Will Arnett]

What's the symptoms?

[Bill Burr]

Well, this person there, I was like tearing up. That's what made my mother clock it.

[Will Arnett]

The eye, the eye tears up.

[Bill Burr]

The eye was tearing up. The person was in like a CVS or something. They were trying to get some ointment for like their eye because it was like tearing up them. We happened to be there. So my mother was just like, silently, like clot, like a fucking. Like a secret service. Like she was just read like, okay. You know, she just knows that that could be a thing or whatever. And then the person couldn't talk and they just went down. It was fucking scary.

[Will Arnett]

Wow.

[Bill Burr]

And so. And everyone was like freaking out and she was just like, cool as a cucumber. Called the ambulance. They got there and when they showed up, I couldn't. I just seen her in action. She like knew what time it started, you know, so they knew and then they shot the enzyme in and they were able to. To break up the clock.

[Will Arnett]

That's pretty cool. Well, so these are both serious people. Mom and dad, How'd they feel about you taking the right turn into comedy?

[Bill Burr]

No, they would totally support it, but they're also like artists. Like my dad is a, you know, plays a bunch of different instruments, can draw you as you're sitting there. He's amazing at drawing and all of that stuff. And then my mother is a stealth artist because she grew up in the 40s and was left handed and that meant you were the devil. So they made her write right handed and she's actually a left handed person. And it sort of became a theme, I think in my mother's life of like, I wanted this, but they made me do that. And she just, oh, okay. I guess that's what you do. So she's had like, this sort of funny experience with that. And then later in life, she's gotten into, like. She's tapped into that side of her, the artistic side. But, like, I think that's really cool.

[Jason Bateman]

So they always encourage you in the arts and shit when you were growing up?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, they did. Yeah. They didn't have any problem with me going into it, but my mother is like, you know, she's, like, German Midwestern. So, like, it took the longest time to get, like, a compliment. Like, it's just like. I, like, almost, like, stopped telling her when I was on tv. And then I remember one time I went back to Boston. I did this show at the Comedy Connection, was in Faneuil hall, and I just went on. I Caught His Own. And I just murdered the whole time I was up there. And I got off stage, and I remember she just went, now that was a good show. And I said, all right. I finally got her. And then for, like, the next six years, every show I did, she. Compared to the Boston one, that was good. It wasn't like that set you did in Boston. I was like, mom, why do you do this? She goes, I'm trying to make it better. I'm just trying.

[Sean Hayes]

And then what were some of the first couple of gigs you had? Did you work at a warehouse or something? When you first started, like, before you started doing standup or something right out of college, what were your thoughts?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, I did a lot of warehousing. I tried, like, landscaping stuff, but just being a redhead in the sun, it was just brutal. I tried roofing and stuff. It was just. It was. I was gonna die. I'd be dead of skin cancer by the time I was 20. But how.

[Will Arnett]

You don't strike me as a sort of a flippant or reckless person. So how confident were you that comedy was gonna be a career for you? And did you sort of, you know, protect yourself a bit by studying other things or, like, was. Was there. Was there a plan B?

[Bill Burr]

Ah, dude, I. I sucked at everything. Like, I just. I just. I had massive. Massive add. Wow. Massive childhood trauma. And. And, like, I was like, yeah. Like, I get. Like. I think it's. First started getting alopecia when I was, like, 12, just from, like, stressing, just being in fight or flight.

[Sean Hayes]

I want to talk about that.

[Bill Burr]

I'm not going to get into.

[Will Arnett]

Oh, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

I guess, like, people always try to get those stories out of me. I'm like, dude, you got, like, 17. People would have to be dead before I could tell those stories, right?

[Sean Hayes]

Right.

[Bill Burr]

Innocent people.

[Will Arnett]

But there was. But there was no. You say you suck at everything. I don't. I don't believe you. I bet if you wanted to point yourself in a direction, whether it be maybe even medicine, I mean, look, your two parents. So were there brothers or sisters that.

[Bill Burr]

Were carving some report cards that would debunk that theory? No, I. I don't. I was like a fucking cat on a leash, dude. Like, I don't know what it was like, everything I was. I just wanted to. Every place I was, I didn't fit in. I just was always outside the thing, looking at it, and I was looking at everybody else and I was trying to do what they were doing. It was like my. Like, it was really an outer body experience most of my childhood. And then I. When I went down to my second show I ever did, it was this long gone comedy club, Stitches Comedy club. And I remember walking in there and there was all of these fucking damaged open micrs. And it was the first time I ever felt like I was around the same kind of weird that I was.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

I had found the right nuts to hang out with and like, how they viewed the world and how they interacted with it made sense.

[Sean Hayes]

And who were some of those guys? Who are some of the guys that we would know that you kind of came up with? Because I'm always fascinated by people who are now famous, who hung out with other people who are now famous. Before you made it.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, I had a killer group. It was. I. I came up, let's see, Dane Cook, Patrice O'Neal, Robert Kelly. And then there was this kid who came down from Maine, Bob Marley. Swear that was his real name. He was born in like 67. So that was before Bob Marley made it.

[Sean Hayes]

That's funny.

[Jason Bateman]

And everyone was telling the last year the Leafs won.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah. Oh, yeah, that's right. You haven't won since. Bob Marley wasn't famous. He was growing his first dreadlock.

[Jason Bateman]

I can't believe you're bring everything back. You had the mention in 67. It's unbelievable.

[Bill Burr]

This. I love you guys. And I don't understand why you hate the Bruins. We have a. We have a mutual.

[Jason Bateman]

You got a lot of. A lot of good Canadian. A lot of Canadians who won that cup for you. Hang on. Let me ask you, Bill. You talk about your second show, how you end up doing your first stand up.

[Bill Burr]

I think it was a lot of Europeans won that cup for us. You're just assuming that you guys still dominate the league.

[Jason Bateman]

Well, you had Brad Marsh on It. And. And you also had. Bergeron was your captain.

[Bill Burr]

Well, there's two guys.

[Jason Bateman]

No, I guess Char was your captain at the time, anyway.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, that's what the problem is. You guys don't realize you need a team.

[Jason Bateman]

No.

[Bill Burr]

Hey, listen, is that why you're never balanced and you buy like three zillion dollar forwards and you have. No, not sure.

[Jason Bateman]

We didn't buy them. We. We drafted. We drafted all those guys anyway. Except for Tavares. Listen, Bill, how did you end up at your first show? How was it? I'm going up tonight to do Stand up Tonight. How did that.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, I made a new. I had to make. I was so walled off and shy, I. That I had to make a New year's resolution in 1992. I said at some point this year I had to give myself a whole year.

[Jason Bateman]

But were you writing, Joe? Were you writing jokes before?

[Bill Burr]

Like, no, no, but prepare. Then I would have to think about what I had to do. I'd be like, I need to write jokes. Oh, look at this can. Oh, let me do something with this. I. No. And. And like, once I. I made that. That thing in my head and I was going to Emerson College at that time. And the whole reason I was going to Emerson College, two reasons. One, I had to get a college degree because my parents were professionals and they wanted me to do that, so I was doing that. And then two, it was a performance school, so I went there to get over stage fright. I had real. No, like, I majored in mass communications. I didn't. I just majored. I was majoring in volunteering to get in front of fucking people. I did radio so I could be on a microphone and talk to people, but I didn't have to see them. It was very baby steps. So I made this New Year's resolution. And then there was a school paper. I don't know if they still have it there, the Emersonian. And there was an ad in the paper. It was this contest at Nick's Comedy Stop Find Boston's Funniest College student, which was just a big sales promotion to get a bunch of drunk kids. College kids in there buying beer, watching their friends bomb. So. So I signed up. I went home and signed up. It was funny. My parents are into antiques, so they had this restomod phone. I was literally like, yeah, hello, operator, I'd like to get in a show biz. You opened it up, it was still a push button phone. And I just called up and I signed up for the contest and I showed up And I went up and did it. It didn't go well. It went okay, but what'd you do?

[Jason Bateman]

What was the first thing do you remember? I'm really curious about this. Like you get up on, you do this fucking thing and then you get up on stage and then.

[Bill Burr]

Well, it really is the funniest thing to get into because you can't really practice it. You have no idea how to do it. The only way to learn how to do it is to just go up and do it. So I do remember sitting down to write jokes for the first time and just staring at the blank page. Like, how do you. I don't even know how to do this. So I just started writing stuff and stories and talking about myself. It was a very self deprecating set. Talking about being a commuter, having no friends, having no girlfriend, basically discussing all the sadness that leads one to start becoming a performer.

[Sean Hayes]

Right, right, right.

[Bill Burr]

So it was a lot of that. And you know, I went up there, I forgot what I was gonna say. I sort of started in the middle of the shit that I could remember. And I kind of meandered. But I remember getting off stage and I do remember going up to the mic in another like out of body experience. Almost like watching myself taking the mic out of the mic stand. And I was just, what I'm doing, I'm doing this for the rest of my life. This is what I'm supposed to be doing. And the guy who hosted it, Billy Martin, who's now a big shot at the Bill Maher show, he gave me Rita Choice's number. Still remember her. She was fucking hilarious. And she used to make me call up the club and I'd be like, hey Rita, it's Bill Burr. I want to, you know, I want to get some spots. She goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That's not how you talk to me. You have to say, Rita, this is open micr Bill Burr. And I just, I thought it was the funniest thing ever. Yeah, I loved it. Cause like that was to me. And also she was in the comedy world and I, I loved that type of affection. Like that was like, I don't like real affection. Like, hey man, I just want to say you really mean a lot to me. Like literally my toes start going like that. My sneakers. Like, dude, we can't have a real fucking.

[Sean Hayes]

I get it.

[Will Arnett]

We'll be right back.

[Sean Hayes]

And now back to the show.

[Will Arnett]

Hey, real quick, I got an 18 year old daughter that wants to go to Emerson. Was it, was it great?

[Bill Burr]

It's fantastic. Yeah, it's fantastic. One of the great things that they had was they had people that went there and were doing well, you know, in. In show business. And they would come back on a regular basis and they would talk to, I. I do it. You know, I haven't done it enough. I should do it more. But you come back and what's great about it, I remember there looking at these people who. They had produced a movie that. I forget what the movie was, but it was something that I had seen. And just to see them being like, oh, they were sitting here, right? And now they're. Now they're doing that. Like, this is, like, possible, because you know how this business is. This isn't like, you know, you start in the mail room and then you. You work your way up to that. There's like. It's just like this field. You just start running and you don't know, oh, they're running this way. I run over here and like, you have no idea. Like this. Yeah, yeah, exactly. You have. People have fallen.

[Sean Hayes]

Totally.

[Bill Burr]

Squid Game quitting, becoming substitute teachers. You have no idea. Like, what the fuck am I doing?

[Sean Hayes]

But, Bill, what's so impressive is your massive, hugely successful career in standup and doing specials and everything, but, like, what a great actor you are. F is for family. I saw you digging that King of Staten Island. And then Mandalorian, which I was like, oh, my God, Bill Burrs on Mandalorian. That was so cool. And then you did Old Dads, which.

[Bill Burr]

You co wrote with Ben Tischler. Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

Produced, directed, and starred. And I wanted to ask you about Old Dads, because. And I want to ask Jason, too, this. When you first start directing. I was reading about you, Bill, about old dads. And when you first start directing and you have to call action for the very first time in your life as a director, it must feel so awkward. Like, if I. I gotta say it with conviction. Cause if I say it Action Weekly, I won't look like a leader. So I have to kind of. You know what I mean? So isn't that weird to call action for the very first time as a director?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, it was because you've seen it.

[Sean Hayes]

And you've been around.

[Bill Burr]

They also said, like, there was, you know, the first AD was like, do you want me to say action? And then I kind of realized, like, oh, is it hacky now for the director to say action? Do I need to have that old big bullhorn and action? You know, So I just deferred that. That to them. But I do remember, like, I directed Old Dads, not cuz I wanted to. I never had any desire. Once again, my ADD and everything, like, I was just like, I. I don't want to. You know, let me just do. You know, I don't give a dude, give me a line read whatever I have to do to get through the fucking day. I don't care. Right? So I knew I was in trouble directing. And this is how what happened was we were coming out of COVID so everybody was committed to all of these projects that they didn't do, plus what they were gonna do the next year. So no one was available. So then the start talking going, well, Bill, you wrote this movie. I go, no, I didn't. I wrote it with Ben Tischler. Yeah, but it's your voice. No, no, no. And they kept trying to. They were backing me into a corner. And then they go, well, I mean, it's getting. You know, it's getting late. It's gonna go away. And I just said, all right, fine, I'll do it. And I don't remember 2022 after that. And this is when I knew I was in trouble, was I was talking to the set dresser, whatever. I never know what the names of the jobs are. The person that puts all this stuff in the room, right? They go. They go. They go, that guy? Yeah, yeah, that person. Yeah. And I'm Dancing Monkey. I have different names for the jobs, but they know what I'm talking about, right? So she goes, okay, this scene is. It's a backyard barbecue scene. Are we thinking paper plates? Are we thinking, oh? I was like, yeah, yeah, paper plates. And she goes goes, what kind of paper plates? Oh, God. And I was like, oh, fuck, Right? I go, it's to this level. And then I started thinking, oh, there's directors out there that. That choose a color palette that they. I'm just weighing over my head. So the reality of old dads.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Is Ben Tischler co directed with me. So he had my back, okay. And Monica Levinson, there was a lot. I had a ton of help. And. But the thing was with that thing was I knew how to write jokes and Ben knew how to write structure. So we had this scene there. And it's like, I wasn't trying to be Stanley Kubrick, so I was just trying to make you laugh. So it wasn't like.

[Will Arnett]

I've asked every standup comic that does some acting the same question, how do you like the process of. Cause as a standup, you come first, and then you write words to fit you as an actor. It's the exact opposite process. Do you enjoy that? Is it torture to you to, like, have to fit a bunch of words in a character that pre exists?

[Bill Burr]

No, no, I love it. I. I also. I, like, I'm envious of the. The collaboration.

[Sean Hayes]

Uhhuh.

[Bill Burr]

You know what I mean?

[Will Arnett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Like, Will knows this. He's been out on the ice with me. I'd rather get an assist than the goal. You know, I put it right on the tape, and what does he do? He shoots it over the crossbar just like every bum on his team.

[Jason Bateman]

Not this guy. Jesus Christ.

[Bill Burr]

Like, I've been. My acting career. Which is funny, is I. What I always say is I've parrot trooped into some of the best stuff and only for a couple of episodes. And people have, like, this idea. Breaking Bad of me. Yeah. That I have this way bigger acting thing than I do. And it's like, now I only did a couple episodes of Breaking Bad.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Chappelle, Mandalorian. I flew, like, paratrooped into this.

[Will Arnett]

But you. You do. You do enjoy it?

[Bill Burr]

It.

[Will Arnett]

Not as much as stand up, but. Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

No, no, I absolutely love it. Like, I got a. I have an acting gig coming up next year in next month in New York doing Broadway for the first time.

[Sean Hayes]

I'm doing Glengarry Glen Ross.

[Bill Burr]

Glengarry Glen Ross, so.

[Will Arnett]

Oh, wow.

[Jason Bateman]

No way.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah. With Kieran Culkin and who else?

[Bill Burr]

We just won a Golden Globe. Bob Odenkirk, Michael McKean. So it's kind of better. Call Saul, Breaking Bad there. Got a little bit of succession in there.

[Sean Hayes]

I'm gonna see that. That.

[Will Arnett]

When does that open?

[Bill Burr]

I think March 10th.

[Will Arnett]

Okay. You're excited about that. Is that your first play?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, yeah. Never did it. So how.

[Sean Hayes]

How long you doing it? Do you know how long you're doing?

[Jason Bateman]

How long and who's directing?

[Will Arnett]

How long you doing it?

[Bill Burr]

I'm doing it until the end of June, I believe.

[Sean Hayes]

So March, April, May, June. Oh, that's.

[Bill Burr]

That's like. Yeah, 16 weeks or. Or whatever.

[Will Arnett]

But what about directing? You think you'll ever direct again? Again?

[Bill Burr]

I'm slated to direct the next one I just wrote with Ben.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Jason Bateman]

After.

[Bill Burr]

In 2022. Going, I'm never doing this again. But, like, I don't know. Like, we kind of. It's like, I always joke. I go, we're like the comedian, you know? And I'm not saying we're anywhere near them, but, like, comedian, Coen, brother type of things. If it says produced by Ben Tisha. Know that he was directing too.

[Jason Bateman]

Listen to this guy. Says he's like a Coen brother over here.

[Bill Burr]

I just went through all of their movies. I just want you all in the. All of the movies that I hadn't seen.

[Will Arnett]

Aren't they incredible? I mean, yeah, these guys are just. I miss.

[Bill Burr]

You know what's a. A great one is one to watch with your wife, your lady friend, your life partner. Sean. Thank you. Thank you, dad. Parisia. Parisia Tem is something that they just produced and it's a series of like 2010 minute short films about love in Paris and all different, like, you know, people finding love, people getting divorces. Tragic. Funny. It was such a surprise. Amazing.

[Will Arnett]

That's French for Paris. I love you.

[Bill Burr]

Okay.

[Sean Hayes]

Wow.

[Jason Bateman]

Thanks.

[Will Arnett]

Okay, well.

[Sean Hayes]

Billy, so you. So the Monday morning podcast cast, you started in 2007.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

And you're still doing it.

[Bill Burr]

What?

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Will Arnett]

So wait, is this.

[Bill Burr]

Is.

[Will Arnett]

This is Pre Deck Shepherd? Is Post Mark Marin a. Or Pre Deck Shepherd?

[Bill Burr]

Yeah, yeah. I don't know.

[Will Arnett]

In. In. In the podcast.

[Jason Bateman]

Sorry for the way that he marks years in your. Confusing.

[Bill Burr]

I didn't know we were going to do a deep dive into the history of podcasting.

[Sean Hayes]

No, but I mean, we don't have to. But it's like, wow. I mean, you've been doing it before. It was a thing.

[Bill Burr]

I was doing it when I. I used to call in a service on a flip phone. Wow. And I used to be. And that was my first podcast. Were only like five, six minutes. It was. It started off with. It was on the MySpace page and you would post it. And I was over Bobby Kelly's apartment once again. We both living near each other in New York at the time. And he was the one. He goes, dude, you know, dude, it's a. It's a way to connect with your fans, dude. He says, you know, he says do it a lot, right? And I was like, all right. So then I just started doing them and I liked it. And it's been this amazing exercise for me. Cause I don't have guests really, so I just sort of babble and then answer questions and stuff. And it grew to 10 minutes to 20 minutes. The same way you build like a stand up act. And now I can just by myself sort of talk for an hour. So like when I shoot a special, going out and trying to like, you know, come up with a whole new hour is a lot easier for me, I feel because of doing that. Because I'm not. I'm just I can go into flow mode, right?

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, got it.

[Jason Bateman]

Do you.

[Bill Burr]

Sorry, Sean. Was that painful for you? It seemed like it went on longer. Process, process.

[Jason Bateman]

Bill, do you. Do you. Do you find yourself doing the. Doing the podcast and you say something or like something happens, like a joke comes out of it and then you integrate it into your special? Is that what you're saying?

[Bill Burr]

I never used to do that, but lately, Lately I have been. Because the rule is basically if I do it on the podcast, I'm not doing it on the show. But if I feel like it's like, you know, I just waded into the water and it's gonna go a lot deeper than that. Yeah, like, you know, I had like a dad moment with my two kids that was, you know, it was. It just worked out perfectly. How do I do this? Cause I don't wanna do the bit. But it was basically my son wasn't listening to my daughter and then she was mad at him and she wanted to get him back and I gave her the green light to do it. And then she did it like a woman. Woman. Like, it was diabolical. It was amazing. And I was just like, holy. Like, wow, that is a. That is a female brain in there. Because I never would have thought, you know, guys like punch in the face. Like they, like, they, they pitch story and they come up with something and they just put maximum.

[Will Arnett]

How old are your kids?

[Bill Burr]

Pain and suffering? Seven and four. Soon to be eight.

[Will Arnett]

How fun.

[Bill Burr]

Oh, yeah, my son's hilarious. His new thing is he'd be like, when he gets mad at me, he goes. He goes, that's it, dad. He goes, you're going to jail. I'm calling Kojak because he has an old dad and we watch Kojak and he loves Kojak. And one of my favorite, like, I don't know if you guys had this with kids when you realize how much you're gonna be friends with them for your whole life. I was sitting on the couch and my son was three and we're watching Kojak, right? So it's an old school cop show. So basically anybody who isn't white is running down an alley with a knife. You know what I mean? So it's like this 20 year old Puerto Rican actor in like the prime of his life. And he's sprinting down this alley and he's getting chased by the character Stavos, who's Telly Savalas, real brother. And he has a full head of curly hair and he's fat. He looks like a fucking Weeble. And he's chasing this shredded Latino kid. So they show the Latino kid flies down the fucking alley like an Olympia. And then Stavos and his loafers is running by. And my son is just watching Stavos running. And he just goes. Three years old, he just goes. And I looked at him and I started laughing. We both just started cracking up. And I was like, oh, my God, that's it. We're gonna smoke cigars. I'm in. I'm in with this dude.

[Sean Hayes]

That is great.

[Bill Burr]

I love that.

[Sean Hayes]

Well, Billy, that's. It's so nice to meet you. We've taken way too much of your time. I know you gotta go, you got a gig tonight. Blah, blah, blah.

[Bill Burr]

Listen, don't put your schedule on me. I was ready to fucking put myself. I'm too late.

[Sean Hayes]

Always do. But I didn't.

[Bill Burr]

Listen, Bill, I know you got a personal chef who just made you a egg salad sandwich. No bread.

[Sean Hayes]

Exactly. You can smell it from here.

[Bill Burr]

Hey, before I go, Sean, when you did that, that Jerry Lewis, that was one of my favorite things.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, thanks, man.

[Bill Burr]

I thought you nailed that. And obviously Ozark was one of my favorite shows. And Will, I got.

[Jason Bateman]

Here we go.

[Bill Burr]

There we go.

[Jason Bateman]

I knew it. I knew it.

[Bill Burr]

No, no, I will. I'll tell you. Tell you what, being a dad, Lego Batman. Amazing, Barbara. It's amazing.

[Jason Bateman]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Bill Burr]

Amazing. It's.

[Will Arnett]

Well, Bill, you're the king.

[Bill Burr]

It makes the kids laugh. No, you guys are going to take your compliments well.

[Will Arnett]

Thank you for doing this. It's very, very nice of you.

[Jason Bateman]

Thank you, Bill.

[Bill Burr]

Thank you guys, for having me.

[Jason Bateman]

We love you, Bill. Despite everything, we love you.

[Bill Burr]

All right, I'll see you down at the Showbiz commissary at some point. All right. Exactly. All right, guys.

[Will Arnett]

Nice to meet you, Bill.

[Bill Burr]

All right. Nice to meet you guys, too. Nice to meet you, Sean. I met you before. We'll, you know.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, I know.

[Bill Burr]

We've had our moments.

[Jason Bateman]

All right.

[Bill Burr]

All right. Okay. Bye.

[Jason Bateman]

Bye.

[Sean Hayes]

Super fine.

[Jason Bateman]

Bill Burr.

[Will Arnett]

Super fun.

[Jason Bateman]

Super.

[Will Arnett]

Now, we've been trying to boat that fish for a while. I think he's been on all of our lists. Yeah.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, he has. And then he was going to be. I knew he was going to be on at one point because I think I. I forget how I knew that. And I wanted to have him on, and I've known him for a long time, and I really do love the guy. Even though it seems like we're enemies.

[Sean Hayes]

He's hilarious.

[Will Arnett]

I want to act with him.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, he's he's really good.

[Will Arnett]

He's fun on set.

[Jason Bateman]

Oh, I want to act with somebody.

[Sean Hayes]

I want to be one of them.

[Will Arnett]

What was that?

[Sean Hayes]

Whitney.

[Will Arnett]

Is that Whitney Houston?

[Sean Hayes]

That is Whitney Houston, yeah. Jay, you never answered the question. I want to know what that was. Because last night I was thinking about it. Isn't it a weird thing to call action for the very first time in your. Your life because you've only heard.

[Will Arnett]

I actually do remember that moment.

[Bill Burr]

Yeah.

[Will Arnett]

Try it. Try it. As a young punk at 18 talking.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, really?

[Will Arnett]

Adults. Yeah. It was terrifying. Yeah, I was so. I just felt like such a fraud. Still do.

[Sean Hayes]

No, brilliant. So. So he was great. I love him. I've been a fan for a long time.

[Jason Bateman]

I did see. No, I realized why he lashed out to me. I did see him in Albert hall, and he was great. He was awesome. He absolutely destroyed and he shot a special from there, and he destroyed and. But he.

[Will Arnett]

I want to see.

[Jason Bateman]

He has a tough time taking a compliment. He's got a lot of issues that are great.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah, he seems like a good dude.

[Jason Bateman]

He's a funny, funny, funny dude. He's one of the. He's. Again, he falls in that category of just like. He has no choice. He's naturally funny. Yeah, he's just. He's just funny.

[Sean Hayes]

What are you guys gonna do the rest of the day?

[Will Arnett]

I've got a sign language lesson today.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, yeah?

[Will Arnett]

This job I've got coming up, I got to do a little bit of sign language, so I have to learn how to speak with my hands.

[Sean Hayes]

Wait, that was Black Rabbit, too, with that guy.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah, but my character didn't have to do it. But in this. This thing coming up, I got to do a couple of scenes in sign language. And do you know what this means? I need. That's a fuck you now, Will. Apparently, I only need 15 hours of, you know, based on what little I've.

[Jason Bateman]

Been doing to the bare minimum.

[Sean Hayes]

Does that include portal to portal or ex?

[Will Arnett]

I'm so curious because it's obviously. It's not word for word or verbatim. I'm so curious to learn just this first hour of what it. Because it's kind of paraphrasing and general. General words, I guess. I'll report back.

[Sean Hayes]

What is. What is this in sign language?

[Will Arnett]

Oh, that's.

[Jason Bateman]

Bye bye Bye.

[Will Arnett]

That's one of my favorites. That's nice, Shani.

[Jason Bateman]

Smart.

[Will Arnett]

Nice.

[Jason Bateman]

Smart. Less Smartless is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Rob Armjarv, Bennett Barbico, and Michael Granteri.

[Bill Burr]

Smart.