Gabe Liedman (1:53)

It's like fly in boogers.

Jenny Slate (1:57)

I need you guys.

Max Silvestri (2:06)

Gabe, I was thinking of you because I know you've only seen at this point, one episode of Task and that's okay.

Gabe Liedman (2:13)

Yeah.

Max Silvestri (2:14)

But I'm obsessed with it. And it's also given me an opportunity to bring out back my Delco accent, which I think I. Delco accent or get water ice. You don't do it much. I realize I never hear like even a jokey Philly accent. I'm not saying you ever had that.

Gabe Liedman (2:33)

One, but I would love to hear it on. I have. I have to put it on because I, you know, I outran it when I turned 19, moved to New York. Said water once, got the look. And then I became like a, like a newscaster.

Jenny Slate (2:47)

And you don't know where I'm from, right?

Gabe Liedman (2:49)

Oh, yeah, no, no. My brother says what are. My whole family says water. And I have slowly found other Philly and Delaware people who I can do the accent with.

Max Silvestri (2:58)

And even Delaware brings it out a little bit. Like, Delaware is almost a trap word. Delaware.

Gabe Liedman (3:03)

Delaware is huge.

Jenny Slate (3:04)

Delaware.

Gabe Liedman (3:05)

Delaware.

Max Silvestri (3:06)

But we should do one episode of the podcast.

Gabe Liedman (3:08)

Beautiful accent.

Max Silvestri (3:10)

You and I do the whole podcast in a Philly accent.

Gabe Liedman (3:13)

I would love that.

Jenny Slate (3:14)

What accent do I do?

Gabe Liedman (3:16)

I don't know. You have, like, a couple hours to figure it out because we're getting started.

Jenny Slate (3:22)

You know what accent I'd like to have is like the one that they had on the show, the Nick. It's like, I'm old fashioned and it was so good. Oh, that show, like, that show rules so much. Just loved it.

Gabe Liedman (3:36)

Do you still do coke injections in your penis, right?

Jenny Slate (3:38)

Me?

Gabe Liedman (3:39)

Yeah.

Jenny Slate (3:40)

Yeah. Well, I don't.

Max Silvestri (3:41)

Yeah.

Jenny Slate (3:41)

Otherwise from the neck, it's so sleepy.

Max Silvestri (3:44)

Oh, just because the FDA says it's eye medicine, it can't be penis medicine.

Jenny Slate (3:48)

Yeah.

Max Silvestri (3:48)

Get real. I have work to do.

Jenny Slate (3:50)

Oh, my God, that show, it was so did everything. I needed something to do. You know, the weird stuff that they used to do that they thought was medical, and then they would do it in, like, a big auditorium that seemed like a gym but also an amphitheater, and there would just be, like, the weirdest operation that was, like, really a dumb thing to do. And then they're all doing coke and.

Gabe Liedman (4:11)

They'Re having sex, getting their nose eaten up by infections.

Sean Hayes (4:15)

Yeah.

Max Silvestri (4:15)

Some people missing a face.

Jenny Slate (4:16)

Oh, my God. Yeah, some stuff.

Gabe Liedman (4:19)

That was so good.

Jenny Slate (4:19)

Yeah. Loved it.

Gabe Liedman (4:20)

Phantom of the Opera.

Sean Hayes (4:21)

Shit.

Jenny Slate (4:24)

For a second, I thought you were my penis.

Max Silvestri (4:26)

That's where the cocaine goes.

Jenny Slate (4:28)

Penis. Penis. Right? That's the song.

Sean Hayes (4:32)

Yeah.

Jenny Slate (4:32)

Deep inside my penis. That's solid. Christine. My penis.

Max Silvestri (4:41)

The needle full of drugs is inside my cock. Yeah, exactly. Guys, there's other.

Jenny Slate (4:48)

This is when SiriusXM, like, actually eats its own poison pill and is like, we're done, we're done, we're done. We can't do any more podcasts. Not even any of them.

Max Silvestri (4:56)

Yeah. You owe Andrew Lloyd Webber personally £40,000 from that bear.

Jenny Slate (5:01)

Three idiots. Get the wheel. Get him out of there.

Gabe Liedman (5:04)

Excuse me, Mr. Stern. We're over.

Max Silvestri (5:10)

We're over.

Jenny Slate (5:10)

And that was over. Drink some water and get the heck out of here. Should I bring my. I need you guys.

Gabe Liedman (5:17)

I would love that.

Jenny Slate (5:18)

Okay.

Max Silvestri (5:18)

Yeah.

Jenny Slate (5:20)

I got a text from our friend Lang and it was like a Instagram story. What? No, no, an Instagram post. It looks like Mona Lisa Saperstein. It was in Fact. In the scene from Parks and Rec. From Parks and Rec, the character that I played, written by our friend Joe Mandy, where Mona Lisa is saying, money, please, and her father is, like, giving the money to her. But it was on the White House official Instagram, like, this took me a second to be like, what is this? It was on the White House official Instagram, and under the image of Mia's Mona Lisa saying, money, please, it said illegal immigrants. And under Henry's character, Dr. Saperstein, it said, who's giving the money? It said Democrats. And I was like, oh, my God.

Gabe Liedman (6:06)

Like, oh, my God.

Jenny Slate (6:08)

First of all, deeply upsetting on so many levels to make that type of a cruel joke. And then also to be the person that somehow has included that and it's used for, you know, just absolutely evil means. But also to be like, what should I do? It's not like, you know, Dean Cain or something, like a celebrity that I don't have the same political beliefs as, is doing that. And I can kind of, if I want to decide to be like, hey, man. Because it's so scary. It's the White House.

Gabe Liedman (6:40)

It's the actual White House that's psychotic.

Jenny Slate (6:42)

You know, like, if you were me, and obviously you're not a Trump voter, you don't believe in what ICE is doing, I think we would all agree. And also, I think, like, it wouldn't be hard to understand that that's where I'm coming from. I think, you know, yeah, what would you do? And what do you think I should do?

Gabe Liedman (6:58)

Woof.

Max Silvestri (6:59)

It's so shitty, Jenny.

Jenny Slate (7:00)

I'm really sorry.

Gabe Liedman (7:01)

Fucking shitty.

Jenny Slate (7:02)

That's so fucking shitty.

Gabe Liedman (7:03)

First of all, like, it's also, like, just humiliating that this is, like, the way the government does messaging is like, you know, in, like, weird, corny memes. Your work was taken out of context by, like, a completely, you know, sinister thing. Ordinary, like, nice, normal, sane people cannot jump in there every second with, with these cuckoos. And that was my sort of feeling to you is like, I know you don't use your social media. Yeah, I know that this has, like, been brought to your attention. And I think there are plenty of people involved in that project who are more willing to be, like, on social media and making statements and whatever that you don't really, like, need to open the door to people who are MAGA on Instagram and would like to write messages. I'm just like, that's all that would come here.

Jenny Slate (8:04)

I, I, I agree. I mean, first of all, like, this is a podcast, you know, like, yeah. Oh, Gabe, this is not a play, it's a podcast.

Sean Hayes (8:12)

No.

Jenny Slate (8:12)

Oh, my God, you're not wearing so much. This is you. This is your life.

Gabe Liedman (8:15)

I'm wearing so much makeup for no reason.

Jenny Slate (8:19)

I'm wearing a mask.

Max Silvestri (8:23)

I made pancakes this morning to put on my makeup because I'm not very good at it. Yeah, I've got chocolate chips all over my Bedelia.

Gabe Liedman (8:30)

Max is doing okay.

Jenny Slate (8:33)

Baby corn. Amelia Belia. Talk about something that is not. Does not fly right now. But anyway, I was like, you can.

Max Silvestri (8:47)

Never do Amelia Bedelia now. You couldn't do it in this environment.

Jenny Slate (8:50)

You can't even do anything anymore.

Max Silvestri (8:53)

You can't even feed a corn a little bottle of milk. Call baby corn. He can't even. He'll come for you.

Jenny Slate (8:59)

So one thing I was thinking was like, wait. The worst thing I think is this unconscious assumption that somehow I, and probably everyone has been kind of bullied into that. It's like, there's only one place to respond to this, and you have to do it right now. Otherwise you don't. You're not you, and you don't stand for what you stand for. So you need to weirdly, like, get into the diarrhea pit with these monsters and fight on their turf. I have the right to, like, wait a sec and think about where I want to respond to this in. In a. In an arena or a venue or whatever. In a discussion where it's just not immediately going to be a corrupt space.

Max Silvestri (9:46)

I agree with everything you're saying, which is like, it shouldn't have to be your business to do it. You shouldn't have to sink to their level, et cetera. But I. How you feel authentically at its core, which you could quickly post and move through, is just like, this sucks.

Jenny Slate (10:00)

It does suck.

Max Silvestri (10:01)

And it sucks in a bunch of different ways. It sucks for all the reasons we're saying that you're being co opted, Your art's being co opted into cruelty and to this agenda. But also, like, people that make good art and especially funny stuff, they. They do care about. They're using your work as a meme because they think it's funny and effective and it communicates an emotion well and memorably. And, like, they can't do that. And so the person who made it being like, nope, this sucks. And just screen capping it and moving it on like, this just sucks. This is so 2011. Someone's Tumblr account about how they're buying a condo and doing memes where they're like, that feeling when you lock in 2% mortgage rate and then it's like a picture from the office or whatever. Like, it stinks. It's so bad.

Jenny Slate (10:45)

It's so bad. Like, I just, I don't feel that Instagram is the platform for me anymore. I did feel like at one time, but like, for me to be like, honestly saying anything that is an ongoing discussion or like a retort to something. Like, I actually think that what I would like to do is what I'm doing, which is like, you know, totally call me like a big, like squirting douche, but to like put it into my creative work, which is this. Unfortunately, this is the squirting douche.

Gabe Liedman (11:17)

This is your podcast.

Jenny Slate (11:18)

Our podcast to be. I would rather place some very succinct truths, which is like, I fucking hate that. I think it sucks. I think those people aren't funny and that they're deeply cruel. And I would rather put that in a discussion where also it's like, I'm not reduced down to anything. In fact, like, I'm in a three person about to become four. When we have our wonderful guest come on, we talk about it and we also enjoy our lives and we place difficult things in, like, conversations.

Max Silvestri (11:51)

This is actually a good like, I need you guys to include our guest with today. So when we're back in the break, we're gonna get input from the wonderful Mr. Sean Hayes.

Jenny Slate (12:02)

Sean Hayes, he's one of our dadas.

Max Silvestri (12:06)

We're gonna ask dad for help. So we'll be right back with Sean.

Sean Hayes (12:13)

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Max Silvestri (12:38)

I love lasagna.

Sean Hayes (12:40)

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Max Silvestri (13:11)

Really?

Gabe Liedman (13:11)

Anything?

Sean Hayes (13:12)

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Gabe Liedman (14:16)

You're the best.

Jenny Slate (14:16)

Can we just say that you are the best?

Sean Hayes (14:18)

Well, great. And that's all our time. That's all we trying to. Our time is over.

Jenny Slate (14:21)

That's a wrap.

Max Silvestri (14:22)

Sean, I don't know if you remember this, but we, me, you, and Gabe were working together on q Force in March 2020.

Sean Hayes (14:31)

I don't know if you remember this.

Max Silvestri (14:32)

Yeah, A powerful month. But I remember right before we had to go remote to make the show over some app Zoom, we'd never heard of, you were setting up this, like, mic setup, I think, in this room, and you're like, I'm about to start this podcast with friends, and we're setting it up so we don't have to be in the same space. And I was like, what are you wasting time on this for, brother? We're making an animated show for Netflix. You don't need to do. Yes, buddy.

Gabe Liedman (14:58)

You're doing fine.

Sean Hayes (15:02)

I know. Really was. Ms. Marlas was just born out of the. Like, you guys, it's like, we've been friends for 20, 25 years, something like that. And we're just like, we can't go anywhere, so let's just do this and hang out. And then we're like, oh, well, let's. Instead of zooming and hanging out, let's do a podcast and hang out.

Jenny Slate (15:19)

Yeah.

Sean Hayes (15:19)

And then two people listen, and then 10. And then it's like, Willa Balsam Shampoo, anybody? Do you remember that? Do you remember those commercials I told. They told two friends, and they told two friends and so on. And so it's this old commercial from the 1970s. Yes. Shampoo. It's shampoo. It's shampoo.

Jenny Slate (15:36)

You know what? Commerc from the 80s literally made me want to eat the soap. And still, when I think about it, my.

Max Silvestri (15:43)

I know exactly the one.

Jenny Slate (15:45)

What do you think it was?

Sean Hayes (15:45)

Mr.

Max Silvestri (15:46)

Bubble.

Jenny Slate (15:46)

Nope.

Max Silvestri (15:47)

Irish Spring.

Gabe Liedman (15:48)

Irish Spring. Yeah.

Jenny Slate (15:50)

Oh, my God.

Sean Hayes (15:51)

Wait, why?

Jenny Slate (15:51)

It just seems so good.

Sean Hayes (15:54)

Do you remember the commercial for Gleam Toothpaste?

Gabe Liedman (15:56)

No.

Sean Hayes (15:57)

Do you remember Gleam? And she held it upside down. She's like, meagle. And it's like, no, Gleam.

Gabe Liedman (16:02)

Right?

Sean Hayes (16:02)

And then she. And then she licked her lips, and she's like, it was so gross. But I was like, oh, I'll try it.

Gabe Liedman (16:10)

That's an artistic commercial. I wish there was more stuff like that where they read it wrong and then licked her.

Max Silvestri (16:15)

Yeah. When they're more playful with how reading upside down works, which actually doesn't reverse the letters.

Sean Hayes (16:19)

Right. And we shoot it in the back of an ambulance. Because everything's backwards on the front of an ambulance.

Jenny Slate (16:25)

Well, one thing I was going to say is. So one of the things that I think is one of the cutest things about Gabe when he was a little boy. Actually, Gabe, I thought about you yesterday because my daughter was like, why don't I take the school bus? And we live, like, four blocks from her school. I was like, I don't know. I can't even explain this to you right now. You're four. But you don't need to.

Gabe Liedman (16:44)

You don't need to.

Jenny Slate (16:45)

Yeah.

Max Silvestri (16:46)

A bus is like a big car, Sean, that takes kids to school, but it can be for other people. I need pictures.

Sean Hayes (16:50)

I need pictures.

Jenny Slate (16:52)

So the bus went by, and what I remembered, which is one of my favorite stories from Gabe, is that when he was a little boy, he was on the school bus, going down the center aisle of the school bus, and he tripped super hard and, like, fell, like, all the way down and then got up and went, super Grover.

Gabe Liedman (17:14)

That was what I consider to be my first joke.

Jenny Slate (17:17)

Joke.

Sean Hayes (17:17)

Super what?

Gabe Liedman (17:18)

Super Grover. He had, like, on Sesame Street. Had, like, a cape. Yeah, Super Grover. And what it was, was I was sitting in my seat, the bus braked super hard, and every other child was totally fine. But for some reason, I like when flying like a rocket up the aisle landed at the front of the bus. Everyone was looking at me like, is he okay? I must have been, like, five, and I had the wherewithal to be, like, super gross. And I. That was, like, a real triumph for me as a comedian.

Sean Hayes (17:47)

Did people laugh?

Gabe Liedman (17:48)

People laughed. And I came home and I bragged about it.

Jenny Slate (17:50)

And it was your first joke. And the reason why this is not just me having, like, an ADHD flare up, ruining the entire podcast is that one of my first jokes was about a commercial that I saw on tv, and I would go up to, like, adults for no Reason and raise my hand and push my armpit out and go, raise your hand if you're sure.

Sean Hayes (18:13)

Because it was sure. I remember that.

Gabe Liedman (18:17)

I remember that.

Sean Hayes (18:17)

I used to do shit like that all the time.

Jenny Slate (18:19)

Yeah. And I was like, everyone fucking loves me when I do that deodorant thing. I better like do this.

Sean Hayes (18:25)

I used to do a bit in high school where I would have a backpack on and I would open it just enough so that when I reached to the top of the stairs, I would on purpose trip on the top of the stairs. And all my books would go flying everywhere. And people would think that was the funniest thing. So I was voted senior most likely to trip at graduation.

Gabe Liedman (18:46)

Yay.

Sean Hayes (18:46)

So in the line of the 2,000 people graduating, I had people like, do it, do it. I'm like, I think I'm gonna do it. So I got up there and he goes. And they're like, Sean Hayes. And the dean hands me diploma. And I tripped and purpose. Everybody stood up and clapped.

Jenny Slate (18:59)

Oh my God, I love it. Did you like take. Take down the podium? Like when football players are practicing and they have to like run really hard into the thing. You know what I mean?

Sean Hayes (19:13)

Yeah, exactly.

Max Silvestri (19:14)

Exactly. Yeah. Sideswipe it. Kind of spear it off the top of the thing is what you're thinking of.

Jenny Slate (19:19)

Podium out. And the principal.

Sean Hayes (19:22)

Yeah, I was basically the podium.

Max Silvestri (19:25)

Have you guys ever seen those videos where like, I think it's a thing more in the south where there's a day in like peewee football where the kids go up against their parents and they're just for tackling. It's like kind of like a tradition. So they mostly moms. Yeah, there are some dads, but it's. The kids are in full pads, so they're like absolutely cushioned. Like sumo at a, you know, climbing gym. They look like comically.

Sean Hayes (19:51)

And then it's a parent, man.

Max Silvestri (19:52)

Exactly. And the parents just themselves just smoke their kids like, so it's just their kid running and they run and it just. They explode. But like nobody gets hurt. And you just can sense the like catharsis in relief.

Gabe Liedman (20:05)

Feel so good.

Max Silvestri (20:06)

And being like the mom of a 12 year old boy, just absolutely laying flat in the wait.

Sean Hayes (20:13)

That is genius. I thought where I thought you were going was that the kids were going to do it, that the parents were all wrapped up and the kids get to tackle the parents.

Max Silvestri (20:21)

You would think all the kids have it in their head that they're like, I'm going to be the one that can take my own dad. Down. Like, I'm actually like, I do football. He's an old man. And then every single one gets smoked by the parents because they're huge. You know, Jenny, I think I feel like we should get Sean's input on your conundrum this week. I don't know if you heard some of it as you were coming in, Sean.

Sean Hayes (20:44)

I just heard the tail end here was my conundrum.

Jenny Slate (20:47)

It was a fresh I need you guys. Meaning I asked them for help with something, which was that.

Sean Hayes (20:53)

Did you have your period?

Jenny Slate (20:54)

It's due on Saturday. Did you say, I got my period?

Sean Hayes (20:56)

Oh, yeah. What do I do? I thought you needed help with tampon. Like, what do you do? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gabe Liedman (21:01)

What would you guys do?

Max Silvestri (21:02)

Cup.

Sean Hayes (21:05)

No, sorry, sorry. Go ahead.

Jenny Slate (21:06)

Diva cup. Yesterday, the White House official Instagram, which I am not aware of, weirdly don't follow, and I don't use my Instagram at all. It is like my Instagram still. But three years ago, I was like, I actually can't interact with this at all. It's bad for me. I know I need to have it for, like, when I have a standup show or a podcast or a book coming out where I wear a dress that someone was like, you can wear this, but you better post it. If you wear it. Like that kind of thing, whatever. Yesterday, the White House posted a meme that is like Mona Lisa Saperstein from Parks and Recreation, a show that I was on. I played Mona Lisa. And so it's me and Henry Winkler. He played my dad. And it was like, my character is saying, like, money, please. And he's like, giving her the money. But underneath the image of me saying, money, please. A moving image, it said illegal immigrants being like, money, please. And then under Henry, it said Democrats. And I was like. I sort of felt like Maurice Chevalier singing for the Nazis or whatever. But I didn't do this.

Sean Hayes (22:07)

Right, Right.

Jenny Slate (22:09)

Anyone know what that is if they don't know?

Gabe Liedman (22:10)

My family, my 2025 most played on Apple Music.

Jenny Slate (22:15)

I love the movie, that specific concert.

Sean Hayes (22:19)

Well, you know what to do, which is nothing. You don't do anything. You just let it go. And I know because you feel when you're the person that the thing that is being exploited for whatever, for a missed message or whatever, and you're the kind of face of it. You can't help but internalize how personal it makes you feel. But know that everybody on the outside understands that this is unfortunately the norm and it has nothing to do with you. You were just A pawn in their messaging. And I think even Republicans, even Democrats, I think everybody goes, oh, it has nothing to do with Jenny or.

Gabe Liedman (22:55)

Or.

Jenny Slate (22:55)

Oh for sure, Henry.

Sean Hayes (22:57)

Right. You know, but. Well, Henry, but I know it's which.

Jenny Slate (23:00)

No, I'm just kidding, man. In the world.

Gabe Liedman (23:02)

The nicest.

Sean Hayes (23:03)

Oh God. I love him. Genuinely I love him.

Jenny Slate (23:05)

But what about. What do you feel about the pressure? Like for me, I was like, oh, I shouldn't. I shouldn't respond to this first of all because the trap will work. Like they have like a million traps to just. Just like suck in anyone for attention so that we're not thinking about voting rights or whatever. But yeah.

Gabe Liedman (23:23)

Measles, right?

Max Silvestri (23:25)

Yeah.

Gabe Liedman (23:27)

Can you believe measles, you guys?

Guest or Advertiser Voice (23:29)

Measles.

Gabe Liedman (23:30)

Jesus christ.

Max Silvestri (23:31)

The Marvelous Mrs. Measles. So marvelous.

Jenny Slate (23:35)

Cheryl Hines calls herself.

Max Silvestri (23:40)

Damn.

Jenny Slate (23:41)

Yeah, that's what Cheryl Hines is called now.

Sean Hayes (23:43)

But you know, isn't it kind of amazing there are people in the world and this country that have A the time to write nasty things and B the inclination to write nasty things. I mean, don't you have. Isn't your day busy? Like don't you have to work or like. And then what does it do for you to just write these bad things? So like yeah, got em. And then they go on. I don't know. It's just. I've never written anything bad on insta. Like anything about anybody.

Max Silvestri (24:18)

I mean just give it. Take a sip from the fountain. You're gonna want to. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Anyway, it's like popcorn. You're not just like one. I always imagine they are busy, but jobs that are. I feel like there's a lot of jobs where you got a lot of downtime and I feel like damn sure your boss is mean to you. A customer sucks. Go on there. Get a little endorphin hit by writing something mean anonymously. Like it's just, it's. I think Sean's advice is the right to just let it. This is it. And let it metabolize through.

Gabe Liedman (24:53)

And outside of social media there's also like the weird like dorky second wave of like you would get like Parks and Rec star Jenny sleep tells White House you suck or whatever. It's just such a dorky next thing. But let me grow up star.

Jenny Slate (25:16)

I did I.

Gabe Liedman (25:18)

How many more were there? Because I only checked you out.

Sean Hayes (25:22)

Yeah, Jenny, I know. The desire to. The desire is so strong to. When somebody does you wrong or somebody lies about you or whatever. There is this incident in my life where this one thing happened and it got blown out of proportion. And this one person completely, totally just lied about me.

Jenny Slate (25:43)

No.

Sean Hayes (25:44)

And, yeah. And it was. It kind of grew and grew. And all you want to do is show the receipts of, like, I have this email and I have this correspondence, and I have this. That would destroy this person's life in the sense that they would just be. Have egg on their face. They're like, everything you just said is completely not right. But on the advice. On the great advice of my lawyer and my publicist and friends and family, like. Like, don't do anything.

Jenny Slate (26:11)

Yeah.

Sean Hayes (26:12)

I'm like, yeah, but what they did was wrong. That's not right.

Max Silvestri (26:14)

What?

Sean Hayes (26:14)

That's not right to just go ahead and lie. And they're like, no, no, no, no. And I did that. And it still kind of bothers me.

Gabe Liedman (26:21)

Yeah.

Sean Hayes (26:21)

But it was the right thing to do.

Jenny Slate (26:23)

Yeah.

Sean Hayes (26:23)

Right?

Jenny Slate (26:23)

Yeah. Yeah. You know, and I. I really had, like, raw chicken on my hands while I. While I got the text. Like, I opened with, like, my knuckle. I was like, my daughter loves a drumstick. I had marinated it all day.

Gabe Liedman (26:36)

I never. I would have never guessed. Oh, my God, she loves a drumstick.

Sean Hayes (26:39)

She wants drumsticks.

Jenny Slate (26:40)

King Arthur. She just.

Gabe Liedman (26:42)

Yes.

Jenny Slate (26:42)

I made her, like, these gorgeous marinated drumsticks.

Sean Hayes (26:47)

Did you eat them as well?

Jenny Slate (26:48)

I did, and I felt great about them. So did my husband. But I had made a bisque that while we were recording our podcast actually, yesterday, I guess it. Maybe it sat on the stove at room temp a little too long, and then I reheated it, and I mostly had that for dinner. And, like, when I say. How do I put this? I had diarrhea all night.

Gabe Liedman (27:10)

Short.

Max Silvestri (27:12)

As a French.

Gabe Liedman (27:13)

Stop speaking in code, so to speak.

Sean Hayes (27:14)

Stop speaking in code, so to speak.

Jenny Slate (27:16)

You know, like, translate that how you will. My husband was also ill to the point where this morning I was like, hey. And he was like, jenny, last night I googled. Apparently, he googled what is heart attack? No, because he had such bad, like, heartburn and gas from the brisket. No, it was a bisque. It was a bisque.

Sean Hayes (27:42)

It was a bisque.

Jenny Slate (27:42)

It was a bisque. I, like, let it get cold. Then I reheated. I think that was it because our daughter didn't have it and she's in great health today.

Sean Hayes (27:48)

So anyway, you should combine them and call it a biscuit.

Gabe Liedman (27:52)

A biscuit.

Jenny Slate (27:55)

Love this brisk do that.

Max Silvestri (27:57)

It gives you both diarrhea and heartburn. It's a biscuit. But it's nothing like either the British or the American. Biscuit.

Gabe Liedman (28:02)

Because the brisket bisque is one of our favorite dishes. There just hasn't been a name for it yet.

Jenny Slate (28:08)

And if you're hosting a bris, you could, you could, you could have a catering service called brisket. Where it is, you do a brisk, then you have the brisket and you spell it.

Sean Hayes (28:19)

B, R, I, S, K. New word it, brisket.

Gabe Liedman (28:23)

Yeah, yeah. And then we get.

Jenny Slate (28:26)

And then you chop off the top of the baby's penis.

Sean Hayes (28:31)

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Max Silvestri (30:55)

Sean. Before we get to our, like the audience question we get each week.

Sean Hayes (30:58)

We haven't started yet, have we?

Max Silvestri (30:59)

No, no. We're not recording any of this.

Sean Hayes (31:01)

Right. Okay.

Max Silvestri (31:02)

This is a catch up, so it feels natural.

Jenny Slate (31:03)

Yeah.

Gabe Liedman (31:04)

Start now.

Max Silvestri (31:06)

I wanted to ask you because you're uniquely positioned to give advice on this and we need it. Do you have any tips on how to let a strong and long friendship flourish while putting it on the air and professionally entangling yourself even more? Even though it is just about the friendship, like, you guys are doing fantastic.

Sean Hayes (31:31)

In the same vein that I had to interpret diarrhea, I'm gonna interpret your question as, how do we stay friends through all of this? Is that what it is?

Max Silvestri (31:37)

Yeah.

Sean Hayes (31:38)

First of all, you don't have to talk so close to the mic, Max. Second of all, I'm kidding. I'm totally kidding. At first you're like, she has son of service. No, that's a good question. Well, the thing is we all live in the same city and we all hang out even when we're not doing the podcast. But we've also. We really are like brothers. And just like you guys are brothers and sister, of course we've gotten in arguments and of course we've gotten. It just makes you closer and it makes you stronger and it makes your. Your bond tighter, you know, so I wouldn't be afraid to. And I'm sure you guys aren't because, you know, forever to have heated discussions about topics you feel passionate about and you know, and you get through it. And on the other side is just a closer relationship. And not that we have really. I can think of like one or two times that we've all kind of gotten into it. And that was like decades ago.

Gabe Liedman (32:33)

Who won?

Sean Hayes (32:35)

Definitely not me.

Max Silvestri (32:36)

Yeah, you're too.

Sean Hayes (32:39)

No, no, no, no. Yeah, no, but it was all sibling stuff, you know, and then you realize, oh, God, that was so dumb.

Max Silvestri (32:46)

Yeah, Our dynamic is a little more sexual tension, but not in any of the directions you'd think.

Jenny Slate (32:53)

You know, Gabe and I have been staring at each other since Y2K.

Gabe Liedman (32:57)

Who's gonna make the first move?

Jenny Slate (32:59)

You know, days like this when I show up in both a turtleneck and a full length corduroy jumpsuit. You know, both of these guys are going crazy, but you guys are having.

Sean Hayes (33:09)

A good time and you guys are gonna do this forever, right? And it's like, it's.

Jenny Slate (33:13)

I mean, truly. Like when we got to record in person, whatever last week, maybe, I was like, oh, the more we do it, the more energized I get. Like, I could talk. I mean, I could talk all day anyway. I kind of do walking around mumbling, but.

Sean Hayes (33:27)

I know. Me too. I told my therapist, you know, that she gets a break because I just lay it all on Scotty.

Max Silvestri (33:35)

Yeah.

Sean Hayes (33:36)

Like, I don't stop talking during the day. I'm like, what do you think? Wow. Do you look at those mountains in Burbank? Do you think that, like, they ever had a snow cap on top? Like just endless dumb shit.

Jenny Slate (33:48)

Yeah.

Max Silvestri (33:48)

Jenny doesn't have dreams because everything gets processed.

Jenny Slate (33:51)

That's true.

Max Silvestri (33:52)

While she's awake, there's nothing left.

Sean Hayes (33:55)

That's funny.

Jenny Slate (33:56)

That's what my therapist told me. It's the reason why my dreams are. Are so boring. Like, the other night I had a dream that I was taking the SATs and I was waiting for my result. The reason why it's so boring or I'm waiting for a sandwich or, you know, just stuff like that, is that I.

Sean Hayes (34:12)

So you dream in black space?

Jenny Slate (34:13)

I process so much during the day that when it's time for me to go to bed, it's like my psyche can't even think of anything. So it's just like sat.

Gabe Liedman (34:20)

Jenny used to fall asleep in cars pointing at herself. It was such a weird, like.

Max Silvestri (34:26)

What does that mean, weird?

Gabe Liedman (34:27)

Rigor mortis. But also just such like a weird, like.

Max Silvestri (34:31)

That's like a baby.

Gabe Liedman (34:33)

I'm unplugging, but I'm still here. But yeah, it just was fully driving.

Jenny Slate (34:40)

It was in a van on the way to do an improv show somewhere in college.

Gabe Liedman (34:43)

But this. That was probably when I started screaming about it.

Jenny Slate (34:45)

Oh, my God.

Gabe Liedman (34:46)

Yeah.

Jenny Slate (34:47)

Yeah.

Gabe Liedman (34:48)

So good. If I recline even funny five degrees, I'm out. I know one.

Sean Hayes (34:53)

Oh, really?

Gabe Liedman (34:54)

No one falls asleep faster than me. It's crazy.

Sean Hayes (34:56)

If I. What about you, Max?

Max Silvestri (34:59)

I have to be put down like a wild horse.

Jenny Slate (35:02)

Yeah, you gotta get tranqu. Right.

Sean Hayes (35:04)

Okay.

Max Silvestri (35:05)

Yeah. I'm Ambien and you know all sorts. Yeah. Yeah.

Sean Hayes (35:10)

Oh, that's for 15 years.

Max Silvestri (35:12)

It's great.

Sean Hayes (35:13)

Wow.

Max Silvestri (35:13)

Yeah.

Sean Hayes (35:14)

And you think you still need it? Ambien?

Max Silvestri (35:17)

You know, whenever I like, once a Month. Try to take a night off and can but have like the worst night, like wake up, like I just, you know, cross the Delaware by boat. Messed up.

Sean Hayes (35:30)

I have ADHD or something. Self diagnosed. Yeah, same. And so if the second I watch a movie or TV show, I'm out in like two minutes because I have to focus on something. But then if I take that nap, I'm up, I can watch the whole thing, but it's just like the initial or reading a book, I'm like one, one paragraph, I'm out.

Max Silvestri (35:52)

We should take our voicemail, right?

Gabe Liedman (35:53)

We have an audience question. And Sean, we would love the people ask us for, you know, advice because we're. We have everything together figured out in life.

Max Silvestri (36:03)

Yeah.

Gabe Liedman (36:03)

And we're saying, I was gonna call and leave one.

Sean Hayes (36:05)

Leave a message.

Gabe Liedman (36:06)

You should, you should. Please do.

Sean Hayes (36:08)

Yeah.

Max Silvestri (36:09)

Where should you point when you're sleeping? Yeah, now you already know.

Sean Hayes (36:12)

Yeah, that's a good one.

Jenny Slate (36:13)

My grandmother, Nana Connie called the Boston Globe one time and told them they should do more, more stories about that actress, Jenny Slate. She really did.

Gabe Liedman (36:21)

And then the reporter told me, did.

Sean Hayes (36:23)

You say my anaconda?

Jenny Slate (36:28)

My Nana Connie, my grandmother.

Sean Hayes (36:30)

Oh, nanny.

Jenny Slate (36:32)

And they were like, is this because they could see the call or caller id?

Gabe Liedman (36:36)

I love that.

Sean Hayes (36:37)

That's funny.

Gabe Liedman (36:37)

It says Jenny's nana is what, her color? Okay, okay, let's listen to this. A question from a listener.

Listener Caller (36:47)

Hi, I just saw your post on Instagram and here's my question. Is there any amount of nose picking that is acceptable in some kind of etiquette idea. Idea of etiquette? I live in Colorado and almost everyone here picks their nose because it is so dry and you always have stuff going on. And then it's also an anxiety thing and everybody's anxious. And I would rather someone pick their nose than like, do other bad things that come from anxiety. But when I see people really going at it or like cranking up their elbow, it really bugs me. And I cannot, I cannot tolerate it. And there's all kinds of things around that like, what do you do with what you get out of it? You know, out of your nose?

Max Silvestri (37:39)

Oh, yeah. What you do with what you get out of it. It's a beautiful. Put that on a mug. It's what you do with what you get out of it. Feels like an inspirational saying.

Sean Hayes (37:48)

Or like a pillow.

Gabe Liedman (37:49)

Yeah.

Sean Hayes (37:52)

Wait, what? So these are the highbrow questions we got here.

Jenny Slate (37:55)

Yeah.

Sean Hayes (37:56)

Well, I mean, it's a pretty easy one.

Gabe Liedman (37:57)

That shouldn't be Dostoevsky herself calling in.

Max Silvestri (38:02)

I don't know that it's easy.

Jenny Slate (38:03)

I don't think it's easy.

Gabe Liedman (38:04)

Okay, wait. What's your answer?

Max Silvestri (38:07)

So I realized as I was listening to this question, there is something weirdly, I think, worse about working from the outside in than working on the inside. Does that make sense?

Jenny Slate (38:18)

What's that like?

Max Silvestri (38:20)

Like a little pinch in the middle. A little pinch in the middle. Kind of feels like, like. Yeah, you're managing. But any. When.

Sean Hayes (38:27)

You know that's a vaudeville hook. When you have the vaudeville hook, you can't.

Max Silvestri (38:32)

If you're working on something in the. Like the lobe. I don't even know what you call the larger. I'm like, well, that's gross. That's gross.

Jenny Slate (38:39)

Like, if you're on, like, the side of the nostril picking something.

Max Silvestri (38:41)

Yes. Weirdly, in my head, I'm like, I wouldn't do that in public. I wouldn't want someone to see me in my car doing that.

Sean Hayes (38:46)

But it is an incredible feeling once you clear that out and you can breathe. Do you ever watch videos where they pull out massive amounts of mucus from noses?

Max Silvestri (38:55)

Yes.

Jenny Slate (38:55)

No.

Gabe Liedman (38:55)

No.

Sean Hayes (38:56)

My mouth waters. Yeah, it does. My mouth waters. I'm like, oh, God, that looks like it feels so good. The satisfaction of clearing out your nose.

Jenny Slate (39:06)

I mean, I've definitely seen people, like, going crazy on their noses in their own cars. And I understand that, you know, like, there are people doing. You know, they're doing. They're like, popping pimples and stuff. Cause they feel that they're alone. That's fine. It's your car, you know, don't do it when someone else is in it. But when you're free, when you're out in the world, I really, you know.

Sean Hayes (39:28)

Well, this is interesting. I think it's the car thing, because people feel more confident because if. If somebody sees you do it, you're like, fuck, I don't care. I'm gonna drive away and never see this person again. But if you do it, you know, in public or like, in a. In your house with other people watching, you're probably more discreet about it because you're stuck with that person in a room.

Jenny Slate (39:48)

Yeah.

Max Silvestri (39:48)

Oh, yeah, of course.

Sean Hayes (39:51)

I don't know. What do you think about that?

Max Silvestri (39:52)

I have a gym membership just to pop in and absolutely rip ones in the locker room. You know, like, I pay for it. And so I have a couple around the city, and I'll just. Just park, get the validation. Go into the locker room. Absolutely. Get screwed up up there, and then. And then just go.

Gabe Liedman (40:10)

I was Such a nose picker. When I was little, it, like, that was something I really had to, like, learn to, like, knack it out.

Jenny Slate (40:16)

Did you like, flick it or wipe it?

Gabe Liedman (40:18)

I flicked it.

Jenny Slate (40:20)

Yeah, you gotta flick it.

Gabe Liedman (40:22)

And I remember having to be like, okay, this is unacceptable to other people. I still think it's normal and fine.

Jenny Slate (40:29)

I think I knew not to let people see me doing it, but I do think it's really satisfying and that it's okay. It's your own body. You find a private space to do it. Like, if you have like a dry booger and getting it out, that feels great. I think the answer is you should really try to. Well, this is what I would say. Try not to do it in public.

Gabe Liedman (40:50)

Yeah.

Jenny Slate (40:51)

You know, just try. Just try.

Gabe Liedman (40:53)

The etiquette is don't do it in public.

Jenny Slate (40:55)

Everyone is public and definitely.

Sean Hayes (40:56)

But we love you.

Max Silvestri (40:57)

Yeah. I'm sorry about Colorado's anxiety epidemic. I know it's tough to pick which brew house and pizza place to go to or whatever because there's four on every block. But you'll figure it out.

Sean Hayes (41:11)

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Gabe Liedman (43:20)

Yeah, Jenny's listened in.

Sean Hayes (43:23)

Yes, all the time. Right? My mom would do that too. I remember that as a kid. Like the landlines. And one time I went down to the basement and I called some gay chat group line. You know, remember Those from the 1980s?

Gabe Liedman (43:36)

Singles are waiting to party on the landline.

Sean Hayes (43:39)

And you're like, oh, I'll try it. And I thought it was being real discreet. And then my mom got the. It was like $3aminute or something. And then my mom got the phone bill and she. And she called it before confronting me and she was like, what is this? And I was like, I don't know. I mean we gotta have. I was like, I'm trying to call, I'm trying to call my friend Randy and I must dial the wrong number.

Gabe Liedman (43:59)

Homework.

Sean Hayes (44:00)

And she was like dialed it. Homework five times for an hour.

Max Silvestri (44:03)

You know.

Sean Hayes (44:04)

But you could never get away with anything on a landlord.

Gabe Liedman (44:07)

No, no.

Jenny Slate (44:08)

Well, before caller ID you could definitely prank call. You could do that.

Max Silvestri (44:14)

Yeah.

Sean Hayes (44:15)

Oh, that's right. You could block your number. Right?

Max Silvestri (44:16)

Your number. So you could get away with anything.

Sean Hayes (44:19)

Can you do that on cell phones now?

Jenny Slate (44:20)

I don't know.

Max Silvestri (44:21)

I think so.

Jenny Slate (44:22)

I mean there was a time when.

Sean Hayes (44:24)

Asking for a friend.

Jenny Slate (44:25)

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Gabe Liedman (44:26)

My friend Randy wants to know.

Jenny Slate (44:27)

Randy needs to know if he can block.

Max Silvestri (44:29)

Yeah.

Gabe Liedman (44:31)

Cuz he likes to party on the phone.

Sean Hayes (44:33)

Jenny's phone rings with an unblock with a block number.

Max Silvestri (44:36)

The number we knew about that we would call it like if we were like there was a pay phone somewhere and you could only listen to like 90 seconds before it made you paid 1, 800 red tits.

Sean Hayes (44:46)

And what?

Max Silvestri (44:47)

I don't know who like knew that, but it's like also, why is that?

Jenny Slate (44:52)

Why not red nips? Why are all the full titties all red? That's, that's.

Gabe Liedman (44:56)

They're all red.

Max Silvestri (44:59)

The whole thing. The red. They're bright red. They're the same. There's no change in tone. It's just an absolutely fire engine.

Sean Hayes (45:04)

Red is red.

Max Silvestri (45:06)

Oh, I once got a $750 AOL bill because I thought I had. And my parents were like, why do we have a $750 charge? And it was because I would. We had a second line that I quietly co opted for AOL and. But I didn't know that the 40 free hours had run out or whatever because it would get those disc in the mail.

Gabe Liedman (45:26)

Yeah.

Max Silvestri (45:27)

And truly it was because I would leave my computer on overnight to download like a dot gif of like Tiffany Amber Thiessen, you know, like sitting on the hood of a Porsche, but it took 15 hours for like a half a megabyte file and cost my parents $800. Sorry, Mom.

Sean Hayes (45:45)

By the way, before we go, if you're looking for affordable plans for anything, smartless mobile is $10 a month for 10 gigabytes. You're kidding. Thank you, guys. What a pleasure to be on your show.

Max Silvestri (45:53)

Such a proud.

Gabe Liedman (45:54)

Sean, thank you for coming on our show. It was so good to see you. I miss you.

Max Silvestri (45:58)

You too.

Sean Hayes (45:58)

I love you guys. Oh, come on. You guys are genius. I love this so much.

Jenny Slate (46:06)

We do too.

Max Silvestri (46:08)

Be doing it.

Sean Hayes (46:08)

Okay, Bye. Bye.

Max Silvestri (46:14)

What an angel. That was so.

Gabe Liedman (46:15)

I love Sean Hayes. He is one of. One of the greats.

Max Silvestri (46:19)

I think that's the living room he. Or the room he was setting up in at the beginning of the pandemic. Like, great bookshelf, great setup, beautiful bookshelf.

Gabe Liedman (46:27)

He also had a sort of a kitchen island moment too, for table reads where you could see like a living room behind him.

Sean Hayes (46:36)

You're right.

Jenny Slate (46:37)

I don't know. I would suspect that you guys feel this, but like, there are. And there are moments in, like, I don't feel that it's normal to be able to talk to Sean Hayes, you know, like, I know, like to be like, oh, yeah, like look into my future and be like, yeah, I get to talk to one of the funniest people on tv.

Max Silvestri (46:55)

Yes.

Jenny Slate (46:56)

And he knows my name and in fact has like, helped me have a podcast that just was like kind of blowing my mind. And I didn't want to say it to him because I felt like I would start crying. So I'll just tag it on the end here. But it's just like, you know, remember that like, episode of Will and Grace where it was like the real Cher?

Gabe Liedman (47:13)

Of course.

Jenny Slate (47:14)

Oh, my God. Like, I. I just remember being like, he. He's like a gold medalist of comedy.

Gabe Liedman (47:19)

Jenny. That is crazy. Okay, I. So Daniel and I, my husband and I, we've rewatched the old Will and many times over our 10 year marriage. So like. And he always makes fun of me because while we're watching it, I will mumble under my breath, Olympic level.

Jenny Slate (47:36)

Oh, my God. Olympic level.

Gabe Liedman (47:37)

Whenever Sean lands a joke, it's just like, it's crazy. The writing is hard to say. That character is, like, hard to play. And then he was doing, like, backflips and all this stuff. Absolutely crazy.

Jenny Slate (47:51)

Like, sometimes, like, the first time I went to, like, a table read for a show and was like, oh, you know, like, I didn't really know what it was like, get what. So if you don't know, like, if you're on tv, there used to be a time they don't really do it a lot now, but it used to be especially on, like, a sitcom but also animated stuff. Before they would film or record, you would all sit around, like, a table and everybody would, like, perform the script and, like, for the executives, and you would, like, really want people to laugh and, like, see if it works. And it was kind of a lot of pressure, and it was really important. And anyway, the first time I did one the thing I thought, and it was the same successful table read. On my way out, I was like, oh, my God. The people that got to see Sean Hayes and Megan Mullally do table reads must have, like, been crying. Like, they must have, like, known that they were, like, a part of something.

Max Silvestri (48:40)

One story I meant to tell earlier, just to wrap it up, to let you know how where I am as we head off into our days, is that you were talking. You mentioned. We were sadly talking about ice. You mentioned Dean Cain, Jenny.

Sean Hayes (48:52)

Yeah.

Max Silvestri (48:52)

And a month ago, I was looking at my phone and I said to my wife, oh, wow, Trader Vic's is reopening in West Hollywood. And she's like, what's Trader Vicks? And I, like, love, like, tiki cocktails and love kind of like LA Divey spots. And so I started explaining to her. I was like, well, it was kind of this, like, now there's a lot of them. But it was sort of this hot spot in, like, I think, the 50s, 60s. And it was like, you know, Dean Martin and his crew would be there. It was sort of like, you know, Dean Martin's hang. But I accidentally said Dean Cain. So she was. She was like, I'm excited about Trader Vic's. She's like, what's Trader Vic's? I was like, it's the sort of, like, tiki lounge, like, where Dean Cain used to hang out. And it was kind of like Dean's Cane Crew Hatcher. But I'm saying she. But she, to her credit, was just like, oh, cool. Yeah, I would be, like, pretty excited about a restaurant or Dean Kane used to hang out. Reopening, famously, his crew of lounge lizards.

Gabe Liedman (49:49)

The coolest.

Max Silvestri (49:51)

Yeah, the coolest.

Gabe Liedman (49:52)

And coming up next, Dean Cain will be batching up some tiki drinks, riding.

Jenny Slate (49:56)

In here on a big old lounge lizard. He's sitting on one of the big stegosaurus spikes.

Gabe Liedman (50:04)

This was fabulous, you guys. I love you.

Jenny Slate (50:06)

It really was. Thank you so much. Gosh, I love you guys so much. And is there anything cool you're gonna do before you see us all next?

Gabe Liedman (50:13)

I'm gonna send the White House some memes.

Max Silvestri (50:16)

Oh, we're taking our baby to a pumpkin to, like a big light show at Descanso Gardens tonight. Pumpkins, Halloween. We might dress him up in his costume.

Gabe Liedman (50:24)

Yes, you should. Great.

Jenny Slate (50:26)

That's so nice.

Max Silvestri (50:28)

I'll send pics.

Sean Hayes (50:29)

Wow.

Max Silvestri (50:30)

Bye, guys.

Jenny Slate (50:36)

This show is called I need you guys and it starred us, Gabe Liedman, Jenny Slate, and Max Silvestri. It's a production of smartless media.

Gabe Liedman (50:44)

I need you guys is produced by Anne Harris, Josh Richmond and Devin, Tory Bryant and edited by Josh. Music is by Devin. Executive producers are the coolest people in the world. Gabe, Jenny and Max.

Max Silvestri (50:58)

Executive producers for smartless Media are Will Arnett, Jason Baker Bateman, Sean Hayes, Richard Forson, and Bernie Kaminsky.

Jenny Slate (51:04)

Email us at I needyou guys showmail.com with all your most perplexing etiquette questions. Or even better, call us at 949-441-1231 and leave your questions as a voicemail so we can play your adorable voices on the show.

Max Silvestri (51:19)

We'll see you next week because we need you guys. We need you guys.

Jenny Slate (51:23)

We need you guys.

Gabe Liedman (51:35)

Smart less meow.

Guest or Advertiser Voice (51:48)

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