
This week it’s one of the greats: Julia Roberts. Selling shoes, love letters, a weatherman on Donahue, and the mystery elves that are insurance. “Abandonment can be funny!” …on an all-new SmartLess.
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Jason Bateman
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Julia Roberts
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Sean Hayes
This Hispanic Heritage Month, Macy's is honoring the community with year round support for Hispanic and Latino creators, brands and causes. When you shop in store or online at Macy's.com, you can round up your purchase or donate to Hispanic Federation which empowers families and helps students succeed through programs like Creyar Futuros. Macy's is also highlighting Latino owned brands like mixed up clothing and Toa Waters. Celebrate Hispanic Heritage Month with Macy's now through October. October 15th.
Will Arnett
All right, so we're here. Are we cold open? Did you say bowl open?
Sean Hayes
Yeah, I said bowl open.
Will Arnett
Oh, you're trying to do like a shameless post thing about the Hollywood bowl that we're going to be at the.
Sean Hayes
Hollywood bowl on November 15th.
Will Arnett
Yeah, on November 15th. Or you think that I'm going to sit here and do a cold open? That's just a shameless plug of Smartless live at the Hollywood bowl on November 15th. Sean, get a grip. I'm not going to do it. Tickets are on sale now. You want me to say that? That you want me to say smartless.com live you want me to say that?
Sean Hayes
Well, no, I didn't want to. I wasn't saying you should say no. I'm just saying it's gross.
Will Arnett
It's gross.
Sean Hayes
All right.
Will Arnett
Cuz then I'm sitting here and I'm going Smartless live at the Hollywood Bowl November 15th. You know, tickets on sale now@smartless.com live. Gross, dude. Gross.
Sean Hayes
Let's just get. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry.
Will Arnett
Okay? Just don't insult me again. SmartLess live November 15th. Let's go to the show.
Sean Hayes
Also, welcome to Smart List.
Will Arnett
Yeah, obviously that SM Smart. Smart Lawless.
Sean Hayes
Oh, Willie, where are you?
Jason Bateman
New York City.
Will Arnett
It's my new place in New York.
Jason Bateman
Yeah. Do you love it?
Sean Hayes
What do you mean? You got a place?
Will Arnett
Yeah, yeah.
Sean Hayes
Oh, that's amazing.
Will Arnett
Yeah.
Sean Hayes
Where are you? Are you doing press Willie for your movie?
Will Arnett
No, no, no. I'm just not yet. I'm about to, but I'm just getting sort of sorted here in my place.
Sean Hayes
Sure. You might be see front. Oh, look, he's got Dollar Bill. He's got a gambling issue.
Jason Bateman
I've got a. He likes to be as close to Atlantic City as possible without going. Uhhuh.
Sean Hayes
Wait, how are you? How is everybody doing? We haven't seen each other in so. In like two weeks.
Jason Bateman
I know. I don't like it.
Will Arnett
I saw JB last week a couple times. We played golf and then we went to an event. We did a little charity work together.
Jason Bateman
Oh, yeah. Will did some. Some. Some MCing of a. A very special charity event. The yes. Charity.
Will Arnett
Yes.
Sean Hayes
What is that about?
Will Arnett
So our friend Eric Eisner's charity, the Young Eisner Scholars. It's a really great. Actually, look it up. It's a very worthy cause and they identify, you know, kids from underserved communities who. Who are really smart and helps might.
Jason Bateman
Not otherwise have access to funds for higher education or for secondary education, however.
Sean Hayes
Yeah.
Jason Bateman
Yeah, it's pretty cool.
Sean Hayes
That is nice. I was part of the tag group when I was a kid. It stood for talented and gifted. And I couldn't do math, Couldn't do anything. Don't know why.
Jason Bateman
I'd love to just kind of just send it out to the group there. Just freestyle on that acronym there. I know will want to try a shot at that acronym.
Will Arnett
I mean, I do.
Sean Hayes
Yeah, I do.
Will Arnett
I mean, go ahead, Go ahead.
Jason Bateman
No, let's not now.
Sean Hayes
Talented and gay. Is that what it is?
Jason Bateman
No.
Sean Hayes
Okay.
Will Arnett
Oh, you think I'm going to say tight ass gays.
Jason Bateman
Take cheap shots.
Will Arnett
I'm take a cheap shot, dude.
Sean Hayes
Oh my God.
Will Arnett
Walking into your.
Sean Hayes
Oh, did Will just get a coffee from someone special?
Will Arnett
I might have.
Jason Bateman
Was that the. Is it the chef that just brought you some?
Sean Hayes
Today she is.
Will Arnett
Today she is.
Jason Bateman
You know, everybody is so excited about your new love, Willie.
Sean Hayes
Wait, I got to tell you one thing really quick. Yesterday we visited Shawn Levy, our friend Shawn Levy, on the set of Star wars yesterday.
Jason Bateman
Oh, my God. Did you guys even get to sleep last night?
Sean Hayes
No. It was incredible.
Will Arnett
Look, are you going to be able to do the show with a boner?
Jason Bateman
You're in hour 19 of that boner. Your lightsaber.
Sean Hayes
Who needs Viagra?
Will Arnett
The people from Viagra called and they're like, hey, can we take your blood? Because we need to know.
Jason Bateman
Let me see that picture.
Will Arnett
Let me see that photo again.
Sean Hayes
Well, you can't.
Jason Bateman
You. So listener. This is right. This is.
Sean Hayes
That's the new droid in the new. In the new film.
Julia Roberts
Wow.
Jason Bateman
How do they let you get a picture of that.
Sean Hayes
Well, we went to go to the.
Will Arnett
Creature shop, and you promised that you wouldn't show it.
Sean Hayes
Listen to this. It's a trap movie.
Will Arnett
It's a trap.
Sean Hayes
Remember? It's a trap. Scotty. Look at. Scotty's making Admiral Akbar move. Isn't that wild?
Jason Bateman
No, that's weird that he's remembering a line of dialogue from. Oh, my God. He's making the mountain.
Sean Hayes
Return of the Jedi.
Julia Roberts
Yeah.
Sean Hayes
Look at that.
Jason Bateman
Oh, my God, you guys. That must have been, like, best day ever.
Sean Hayes
It was incred. It was. And Shawn Levy, of course, is the greatest. Jay, You, Jason, you would do so well at directing one of those movies. I don't know why.
Jason Bateman
Yeah, like one of those. Let him know, Sean.
Will Arnett
Let him know.
Sean Hayes
All right.
Jason Bateman
Thanks, Mom. My mom once said, you know what? Why you should. You should call Steven Spielberg and let him know you'd like to work with them.
Sean Hayes
Let's do it.
Jason Bateman
What a great idea.
Will Arnett
I know. I love stuff like that. How come you don't work with better? I remember somebody. Somebody who. Who. We know who. But years ago, and she said that another person we know is very famous. Said to her, like, you know, you should work with the greats and the Scorsese. And then she was like, oh, okay. Well, just give me their number.
Sean Hayes
Sign up. Like the.
Will Arnett
Why didn't I think of that?
Jason Bateman
Yeah, you're right.
Sean Hayes
Listen, speaking of one of the greats.
Will Arnett
Guys, I love grades.
Sean Hayes
My guest today had quite the historic beginning. I just wrote this last night.
Jason Bateman
No, I.
Sean Hayes
When she was born, Martin Luther King, Jr. And his wife Coretta paid the hospital bill. Didn't know this until I looked it up. She grew up in Georgia playing the clarinet in the school band, which I loved learning about. After graduation, she moved to New York, sold running shoes. Guess what? Chased an acting dream on a film set 30 years ago, she picked up knitting. Hasn't put the needles down since. Her kids once asked her if she was more famous than Taylor Swift. These days, she's happiest at a ranch in New Mexico. You could call her an Oscar winner. You could call her America's sweetheart. You call her my sweetheart. But today I'll just call her the brilliant and always Julia Roberts. Julia Roberts.
Jason Bateman
Yeah, I got it.
Will Arnett
Oh, my God.
Sean Hayes
Julia Roberts.
Jason Bateman
Hello, Julia.
Sean Hayes
Ooh, and the bright yellow. That's so cute.
Jason Bateman
She's wearing a firefighter uniform, folks.
Julia Roberts
It's Boy Scouts.
Jason Bateman
Oh, Boy Scouts.
Will Arnett
It's Boy Scouts.
Sean Hayes
Oh, it is Boy Scouts.
Jason Bateman
I did a little Boy Scouts.
Will Arnett
Julie Roberts. Hi.
Jason Bateman
How cool that you're doing this.
Julia Roberts
Thank you, Sean, for that. For that intro.
Sean Hayes
All my research.
Julia Roberts
Sort of like a haiku about one's grandma. Grandmother or something. The clarinet and knitting.
Sean Hayes
Wait, I didn't know you played the clarinet and the oboe.
Julia Roberts
Those are two of the oboe.
Sean Hayes
Those are the two hardest instruments.
Will Arnett
Wait a second. You don't want to get into. Martin Luther King paid for the hospital.
Jason Bateman
No, I was gonna get there too. So let's start with that. Martin Luther King paid the bill. Why?
Sean Hayes
They were friends with your parents?
Julia Roberts
Yes. And my. And I. And I not knowing the state of my family's financial situation as a brand new. I guess they were maybe just gonna have to smuggle me out in the middle of the night and so this made it. We could go out the front door.
Jason Bateman
I'm gonna sound dumber than usual.
Will Arnett
Boy, this is gonna be a stretch. Okay, good.
Jason Bateman
What is the bill for having a baby in a. Like, isn't that usually like in 1975. Right. Like. But is it?
Julia Roberts
Thanks. My new favorite, Will Arnett.
Jason Bateman
He's slick.
Julia Roberts
Yeah. You've got kids, you know, this is not. These are not cheap endeavors.
Will Arnett
He's so out of touch.
Jason Bateman
Sags. But my Screen Actors Guild insurance. Wait, but isn't it all paid by the mystery elves that are insurance? Isn't that they're the same people that do the laundry?
Julia Roberts
Right.
Jason Bateman
Julia. Welcome to Spotless.
Will Arnett
Welcome to Miracle. So much for this.
Julia Roberts
But you know what's amazing is I am such a Jason Bateman fan. And this up close exchange, now that we've seen each other in person and we've never. I'm like, really just like staring at you right now and you can't even tell.
Jason Bateman
And I could spend years with you. You're the greatest.
Julia Roberts
Do you know the first Bateman I ever truly loved is your mom.
Jason Bateman
Oh, my mom.
Julia Roberts
Your mom. When I met your mom on a plane, she is just like. She's just such a. You just. She just has sparks that kind of shoot off. She's so beautiful and so sweet. And the accent and the whole thing.
Jason Bateman
And just the British accent. She nailed it.
Julia Roberts
Yeah.
Jason Bateman
Now, was she. Cause she was a flight attendant for Pan Am. Did you meet her?
Julia Roberts
Pan Am? I mean, that just adds to the.
Jason Bateman
Allure with the fuller hat and everything. Or was it on set of Satisfaction? It was on set.
Julia Roberts
Yeah. It was on Satisfaction. Yeah.
Sean Hayes
Wait, why was your mom on the set of Satisfaction?
Jason Bateman
Cause I guess Justine wasn't yet 18. Maybe. Or was she. Or was my mom just there visiting maybe? So Julia was in a movie with my sister. Justine.
Julia Roberts
Way back when, it was before we were on location, we were in Los Angeles for a long time because I came out to California, and I was probably there for, like, at least three weeks before we went on location because we had all that band practice, you see.
Jason Bateman
Oh, boy. So cringy.
Julia Roberts
If only I could have played the clarinet in that movie.
Jason Bateman
Will does a great horn player.
Will Arnett
Eric Clarinet.
Jason Bateman
Eric Clarinet. Just making sure the reed is nice and wet.
Sean Hayes
And wet. And then, like, I only do the.
Will Arnett
Theme song of Law and Order.
Jason Bateman
Oh, right. Getting there.
Will Arnett
And then I wet the reed as I'm waiting. Flip the page.
Sean Hayes
Scotty does that, too. All the time. You ever let the spit out at the bottom?
Will Arnett
So dumb.
Jason Bateman
Yeah. Careful.
Julia Roberts
Spit out.
Jason Bateman
All right. So wait, where were we? So we were. Martin Luther King paid the bill.
Sean Hayes
Yeah. Yeah.
Jason Bateman
That's just incredible.
Sean Hayes
Isn't that wild?
Jason Bateman
It's incredible. Yeah.
Sean Hayes
Right? And, I mean, how did they know each other, Julia?
Julia Roberts
My parents had a theater school, and the King kids went to that school.
Jason Bateman
Oh, wow.
Julia Roberts
And so then my parents became friends with them.
Sean Hayes
That's amazing.
Jason Bateman
So the King kids wanted to be actors.
Julia Roberts
I mean, I think one of them. And again, this is. I'm reaching back into my first days of life. But as I recall, I think one of them did have maybe some acting aspirations. But it was more than anything, I think it was just sort of, you know, hobbyist, after school weekend kind of thing to do with your kids and.
Will Arnett
Wait, so your parents ran a theater school or, like a theater thing? Sean, imagine the stories. The theater.
Sean Hayes
I can't even.
Will Arnett
Sean is going crazy now.
Jason Bateman
Oh, he loves a good theater story.
Will Arnett
Sean loves a theater story.
Jason Bateman
Well, now, Julie, you've done a lot of great things.
Sean Hayes
You've done Broadway.
Jason Bateman
You have any, like, anybody ever have a heart attack in the crowd? Let's just get right to it.
Will Arnett
Yeah, let's get to it.
Jason Bateman
He usually saves these winners for the end.
Julia Roberts
No. Well, I have an opening night story that is pretty good, but it might be long. Maybe it's better.
Will Arnett
No, no, no, no.
Jason Bateman
We've got 45 minutes left.
Will Arnett
Never too long.
Sean Hayes
Yeah.
Julia Roberts
Well, so I did a play with Bradley Cooper and Paul Rudd.
Jason Bateman
I saw this one. This one with the rain. The rain? Yes.
Will Arnett
What a cast.
Sean Hayes
I was there.
Julia Roberts
It rained inside the theater, which was great for everyone, but the people in the front row, which we discovered, they were all kind of being pelted.
Will Arnett
But Julie didn't.
Sean Hayes
Three days of rain was gone.
Will Arnett
Every day someone would go, like, oh, my God, I'm wet. And it's like, well, yeah, that's the congrats.
Jason Bateman
You got Pearl Roast.
Julia Roberts
Well, I don't think you go to the theater thinking that the rain in the show is going to get on you. I wouldn't think that, no.
Sean Hayes
Right.
Julia Roberts
But, you know, we had rehearsed this play, as you guys know, right. It goes on and on and on forever, and then it just. All you want to do is start the thing. So opening night comes, and nerves are high just even thinking about it. I'm getting a little short of breath. And get your beta blocker. Yeah. So the play starts. Paul's on stage by himself, and it's his apartment set. And there's just this sort of, like, bare mattress apartment in New York. And he's reading this. He's thumbing through this book, and then there's a knock at the door. Open the door, and it's his sister, played by yours truly, clarinet player. And I come in and he's. What's in his hand is our father's diary that he's just found. And he's been reading it, and he's crazed and he's manic over what he's discovered. And he's talking about it, and he's talking about it, and he tosses it on the bed as he has done 9458 times in rehearsal.
Sean Hayes
Right?
Julia Roberts
And this book skitters across the mattress, hits the front of the stage and into the aisle.
Sean Hayes
No way. No way.
Julia Roberts
Which is fine for the next four and a half minutes until I say, but.
Jason Bateman
And you gotta open it.
Julia Roberts
Look at this. Right, Right? Or Paul says. Paul says it. He picks it up. And so we keep going, but we're looking at each other like this has never happened before. What happens when this happens? Because this has never happen. Meanwhile, someone working on the show who has seen this happen, sort of commando, crawls down the aisle and says to the man in the front row, sir, you know, pick that up and just put it on the stage. And the man's like, what? Huh? What? Paul and I are acting our little hearts out. Just pick it up, put it.
Jason Bateman
Look how excited Sean is. This is one of the great stories.
Julia Roberts
So the man picks it up and he kind of, like, doesn't quite. I mean, I wouldn't want to touch up, you know. And he puts it on the stage at the exact. You couldn't have planned it better. At the exact moment that Paul goes, no, I'll read it to you. And he picks it up.
Sean Hayes
Ah, that's great.
Julia Roberts
At the second. And then Paul, being the amazing Human being that he is, just turns and looks at the man. He goes, thank you. And everybody in the audience, you could just feel everybody just let out their breath that we didn't realize we were holding. And we sort of went on from there.
Jason Bateman
This is the magic of theater.
Sean Hayes
You know, I want to get back to the beginning, Julia, because I did all this research, and it was. You know, you think you know somebody, and then you actually do read about them. You're like, oh, I didn't know how to.
Julia Roberts
And then you realize, wow, nothing that I've read is actually factual.
Sean Hayes
We believe so. Wait, so when you were a kid, you wanted. So you played the clarinet? We covered that. You were a vet. You sold shoes.
Jason Bateman
We really haven't covered that. I'm gonna double back on that.
Julia Roberts
I was doctor. Did you hear? He goes, you were a vet and you sold shoes?
Sean Hayes
No. You wanted to be a vet? A veterinarian of pets?
Julia Roberts
Yes.
Sean Hayes
I didn't know that. That's so cool.
Jason Bateman
Wait, how old were you before the vet thing went away? Cause doesn't every kid wants to be a vet?
Julia Roberts
Everybody does. I was in the 4H club. I mean, like, I thought this was great, and it wasn't until I discovered that I don't really have a mind for science.
Sean Hayes
Right, right, right.
Julia Roberts
I just wanted to do the petting and the. You know, I could take out a toothbrush and put some mange medicine on if necessary, but I didn't want to do surgeries.
Jason Bateman
What was the most involved thing you've ever done with an animal? Like, have you. Have you milked a cow? Have you changed horseshoes?
Julia Roberts
I've milked a cow. I have not changed. Or I've watched the Farrier do it, but I've not done it myself.
Jason Bateman
What's it called? A Farrier. See, I would lose that on who Wants to Be a Millionaire? I wouldn't know what that means.
Julia Roberts
You could call me.
Jason Bateman
I could call you.
Sean Hayes
You would know.
Will Arnett
Oh, my God. She'd be your security caller or whatever. I'd like to call a friend.
Sean Hayes
Yeah, exactly.
Will Arnett
That'd be so good.
Jason Bateman
Well, how. Well, then, when did the acting. When you say, yeah, no, screw veterinarian. I want to be an actor.
Julia Roberts
I mean, I don't know that I had that kind of moment where I thought, this is the path I want my life to take. I mean, my parents were artists. I have an older brother and sister. They were their artists. My sister was going to the neighborhood playhouse when I moved to New York and moved in with her. And that's When I was working at the athlete's foot on 72nd and Broadway, right by the Grace, Papaya and Popeyes.
Will Arnett
No way.
Sean Hayes
That's great.
Julia Roberts
And I worked there for a while, and I think it was just realizing that college was not going to be in the cards for me. And I didn't really know what. I didn't know what I was gonna do. I mean, I had moved to New York really, just because I wanted to be back with my sister. Because she had been gone for two years and we were so close and I missed her and I.
Jason Bateman
Gone from Georgia.
Julia Roberts
Yeah.
Jason Bateman
Yeah.
Will Arnett
But you were like. You were thinking, what, that you were just gonna go to New York and something was gonna. Something different was gonna happen.
Jason Bateman
Yeah. I don't wanna embarrass you, but was modeling a poll at all?
Julia Roberts
I did get called in to a couple of agencies, and there was an agency called Click Models. God, I completely forgot about this. You have jogged a piece of the puzzle out of my head.
Jason Bateman
Let's get into it.
Julia Roberts
And I did go meet a really nice woman there with flick and click.
Jason Bateman
Wasn't it flick and click?
Julia Roberts
I don't think so.
Jason Bateman
No.
Julia Roberts
That doesn't sound good at all.
Sean Hayes
I think that's something else. Yeah.
Jason Bateman
No, no, no, I think it was. I actually think it was.
Julia Roberts
No, it was click, click. Modeling click. Like camera click. There's no flicking click and flick.
Jason Bateman
So it was. I swear to God.
Will Arnett
Anyway, I think that's a massage. Okay, so wait, so ju. But really, to answer the question, you weren't like, okay, I'm leaving Georgia now. I'm gonna be an actor, so I'm moving to New York. You were going. Cause your sister was there and you've just left.
Sean Hayes
But Eric had already been working.
Julia Roberts
No, he's 11 years older than I am, so he had a career by the time I graduated from high school. But to answer your question, everybody was sort of leaving home to go to school. And I did not want to be like, okay, I'll see you guys when you get back. Right here in my mom's apartment. Nobody worry.
Jason Bateman
What about college? You said college wasn't a thing for you. Why was that? Cause it wasn't for me.
Julia Roberts
It wasn't financially feasible. And I certainly didn't have the grades for any kind of a scholarship and.
Jason Bateman
Should have called the King family.
Julia Roberts
I'd relied on them once already. I just felt like I didn't want them to have to support me the whole way around.
Sean Hayes
Yeah.
Jason Bateman
And were you to study something in college at that age? Had the Veterinary thing had gone. Had passed. Right.
Julia Roberts
I think I probably would at that time. Cause you have to Remember, this is 1985. I graduated from high school, and I probably would have wanted to be a home economics teacher.
Sean Hayes
Oh, wow.
Julia Roberts
Something I'm happy to bring back into the school system now. If asked, what's a home.
Sean Hayes
What does that mean, Home economics? What does that mean professionally?
Julia Roberts
So many things. I'm glad you asked.
Sean Hayes
Yeah, like, uh.
Will Arnett
Oh, here we go. Here we go.
Sean Hayes
Well, I'm an idiot. I don't know what that is.
Julia Roberts
No, it was such a great class because it covered. It was like. Yeah, sewing. But it was like sewing, mending. It was practical things. You learn how to write a check. You learn how to sew on a button. You learn how to iron a shirt, you learn.
Sean Hayes
Is that where you learn knitting?
Julia Roberts
Make a. No, that I learned. I learned how to knit from the standby painter on the Pelican brief. Eric Bart taught me how to knit.
Sean Hayes
Wow.
Jason Bateman
The standby painter. Yeah. They got a lot of kit stuff right there. Wait.
Sean Hayes
Right at your disposal.
Jason Bateman
Oh, yeah, they got that bucket they sit on. It's got a bunch of stuff in there. Yeah.
Sean Hayes
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Sean Hayes
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Jason Bateman
Hey, I feel like I'm not a great parent for many reasons. One of them is that I haven't taught my kids how to iron, how to wash a window without getting streaks on it, how like my parents, like, I had 20 chores every weekend until the day I moved out when I was 18. Have you been good about teaching your kids? Like, do they know how to like iron a shirt without wrinkling the fabric that's underneath it? How to separate it over an ironing board and put the sleeve over the little the little wedge portion of the board and, like, all that stuff, like, you don't know it till you know it.
Julia Roberts
You don't know it till you know it. Well, I would say there's a yes and a no here, because I feel like a lot of the things that I learned from my mom, I either learned because, like, you. Long list of chores that started right when I got home from school and paused only to watch the Mike Douglas show. And then right back to the chores.
Jason Bateman
Mike Douglas.
Julia Roberts
I love it.
Jason Bateman
Phil Donahue.
Will Arnett
I mean, jb, Were you ever on the Mike Douglas Show?
Jason Bateman
No, No. I got bumped a couple times, but. No, I'm kidding.
Will Arnett
Did you?
Julia Roberts
No. You couldn't possibly. Even in your.
Jason Bateman
I did do Merv Griffin. I did Oprah. What else?
Julia Roberts
Phil Donahue.
Sean Hayes
Yeah.
Jason Bateman
Never Phil Donahue.
Sean Hayes
You know what? I slept with this guy, and Chicago named Phil Donahue.
Will Arnett
What a headline this is gonna be. Sean Hayes slept with Phil Donahue.
Julia Roberts
Not B. Phil Donahue. A Phil Donahue.
Jason Bateman
Now his wife, Philip K. Donahue.
Sean Hayes
No, I just slept with a guy once in Chicago, and then he ended up on the Phil Donahue show because he was the Chicago. He was the Chicago weatherman. That. Then porn, it was so crazy. And my family.
Julia Roberts
You just said so many things in one sentence.
Sean Hayes
I know. Isn't that crazy? I slept with him once, and I remember his name. And he was a Chicago weatherman on the tv. And then I. Then one day he was on Phil Donahue because he left that career and was a porn star. I was like, what? It was the craziest thing.
Jason Bateman
Wait, you had no. You had no warning on this. You were just watching your Donahue like you do every day?
Sean Hayes
Yep, that's it.
Jason Bateman
There he is, and there's your guy, and he's on there because it was like a porn story that had gone wrong.
Sean Hayes
Wrong.
Jason Bateman
That. What? That's.
Sean Hayes
No, it was. No, it was. No, it was. In America was like, wow, there's a gay person on television. Yeah, that's it. Yeah. That was way before.
Jason Bateman
Oh, Shawnee.
Sean Hayes
Anyway, let's get back to you.
Will Arnett
Let's get back. You know what?
Jason Bateman
I want to get everybody take a quick shower. Yeah.
Will Arnett
So, Julia, what? I. What? I don't know. And maybe Wicked Beauty can answer this, but I'd love to hear from you. What was the first. What was your first professional acting gig? Yeah.
Julia Roberts
Crime Story.
Jason Bateman
What a precursor to Law and Order. Am I being a dummy?
Julia Roberts
Dennis Farina, 1950s Michael Mann TV show in Las Vegas. Dennis Farina, the nicest man, the great. You could imagine.
Will Arnett
The great Dennis Frena.
Jason Bateman
And what was your character? Were you a damsel in distress or were you a badass?
Julia Roberts
I was a 15 year old girl living with my mother, played by Hannah Cobb and her, I feel like, kind of newish husband and he was maybe not being a good stepfather to me. No, Julia, if you catch my. I'm really bringing the mood down with this. This is no weatherman turned porn star story. But yeah, so did that, and that was a great experience. And, you know. But.
Will Arnett
You were living in New York at the time you got cast out of New York.
Julia Roberts
Yes.
Will Arnett
Okay, so it's a big. It was a big moment. It was exciting at the time, obviously.
Julia Roberts
Oh, it was huge. It was huge.
Jason Bateman
So then you were able to sort of start. Start your work and start to gain momentum before there was huge pressure on you to. To sort of pay a lot of rent and to really, like, declare, this is what my career is going to be. So you were still young enough to kind of like dip your toe in it and see if you get any traction. Is that kind of how. How things started?
Julia Roberts
That sounds nice the way you put all that. Let's somebody jot that down. Well, you know what, it is too.
Will Arnett
He likes to bundle. He's bundling.
Julia Roberts
Just to say, I met. There was an agent. I was with my brother and his girlfriend coming from dinner one night. And, you know, they lived uptown and so they sort of ran into some people they knew and one of the women they were chatting with was a talent agent. And she. I don't know if she called my brother later or his girlfriend or something and said, oh, you know, does she act or. And she called me into her office and after a nice conversation, she said, well, I can't do anything for you, but I know someone who might be able to guide you here. And she sent me to meet this man called Bob McGowan who was from Atlantic City and was dating the star of All My Children, Kim Delaney.
Sean Hayes
Yes, I know.
Julia Roberts
And he was just this. He seemed to me to be the nicest, most energetic guy with time and money to spare. And he loved helping young people realize their dreams. I mean, I once went into. He became my manager. I once went into his office and said, bob, I was at the Empire Diner today, and there's this guy, he was our waiter and he wants to be an actor. And I said, you've got to come meet Bob. He did, and he signed him. And that was Dylan Walsh.
Jason Bateman
Oh, my God.
Sean Hayes
Wow.
Julia Roberts
So Bob was just this kind of incredible man who just loved being the facilitator you know, he just loved putting people together, and that was kind of.
Jason Bateman
A nice early advocate. And you stayed with him for a while.
Julia Roberts
Yes.
Jason Bateman
Yeah. And then what was the. Then the project that gave you the kind of momentum that would push you into sort of like. Well, I. I need not pursue other things. I think this might work out for at least a few years.
Julia Roberts
Mystic Pizza.
Sean Hayes
Yeah.
Jason Bateman
Yeah.
Will Arnett
Didn't you get.
Sean Hayes
Did you get nominated for that or. No?
Julia Roberts
No.
Sean Hayes
Okay.
Will Arnett
Way to go, Sean.
Jason Bateman
Nice.
Will Arnett
You know, is there and is.
Julia Roberts
I did get nominated for Independent Spirit award for Mystic Pizza.
Jason Bateman
That's what you're thinking of, Sean, right? That is what he was thinking of.
Julia Roberts
And I lost to Jody Foster for Five Corners.
Sean Hayes
All right, Julia, was there.
Will Arnett
Was there. Again, I say this a lot, but at risk of embarrassing you, was there sort of Mystic Pizza, you know, crime story, then Mystic Pizza and everything? Was there a kind of a life before Pretty Woman and life after Pretty Woman? Is that fair to say? It must have changed your life in.
Sean Hayes
A lot of way?
Julia Roberts
Well, you know, I kind of. It was a joke to start with, but it's actually completely true when people say, oh, you know, when Pretty Woman came out, did it just completely change your life? And I said, well, I was out of town when it came out, which is the joke. But I was on location shooting Sleeping with the Enemy, one of my faves. Tiny little town. Thank you. And it wasn't playing at the Sticky Shoe theater where I was. And I remember one of the crew guys was reading USA Today, and he goes, hey, hey, your movie's in the paper. And it just kind of said, like, you know, box office. There was like a little square and it said pretty Woman and it said what the box office was. Number meant nothing to me. I was like, hey, great. I mean, I didn't know if it was a great number, if it was a good number, if it was like, wow. And yeah. So in a way, the momentum of that moment passed me by a little bit, so I think I was probably spared.
Sean Hayes
Well, you were also in work mode, and that helps as a distraction to that kind of stuff, right?
Julia Roberts
Yeah.
Jason Bateman
Do you long for those days of sort of the naivete and sort of just like. Well, just kind of just doing the work and having the fun and playing make believe and not being aware of sort of the machinations of this interesting business, or do you like how complicated this business is?
Julia Roberts
Is it complicated?
Jason Bateman
Well, in certain areas. In the areas that are completely unpredictable and without any sort of meritocracy, I.
Julia Roberts
Guess I just feel like, there's so much more choice than we allow ourselves to believe. Like, I can choose to get super caught up in some of the things that really we have no control over. I have long given up reading anything.
Jason Bateman
Yeah.
Julia Roberts
And I don't know. I don't know.
Jason Bateman
You still just love doing it for what you're doing, right?
Julia Roberts
It's so fun. I love it so much. It's such a goofy little job.
Will Arnett
And I have a Google News alert on you. Just don't worry. So I'm reading all your stuff for you and you're fine.
Julia Roberts
I'm listening and I'm reading and I'm.
Sean Hayes
Wait, so when Steel. So you were filming Sleeping with the anime before Steel Magnolias?
Julia Roberts
No, Steel Magnolias was first. So I filmed Steel Magnolias. I filmed Mystic Pizza. And then I. Don't you have my IMDb help me.
Sean Hayes
Yes, I know, but I want you to tell it.
Julia Roberts
Then I did Steel Magnolias.
Sean Hayes
Yeah.
Julia Roberts
Then I did Pretty Woman.
Sean Hayes
Yeah.
Julia Roberts
Then I did Flatliners. Then I did Sleeping with the Enemy and me.
Sean Hayes
And then, you know. You know, the thing in Steel Magnolia is Scotty's diabetic. And when you had that scene, Scotty had a scene like that in real life. And I had. I'd only watched Steel Magnolia, like, for the first time, like seven, eight years ago.
Jason Bateman
Crazy.
Sean Hayes
No.
Julia Roberts
Thanks for the support.
Jason Bateman
Seven years ago.
Sean Hayes
Oh, my God. I've seen Sleeping with the enemy like, 17 times. But I have. I've seen it a billion times. But no, the. But that scene was so real.
Will Arnett
Scotty's flatlining.
Sean Hayes
Go ahead. That scene was so real when you had the diabetic thing. And when he was. When we first started dating. We've been together almost 20 years. And he would do. Let's go on to the next question. Good Lord.
Jason Bateman
I feel like you're circling the airport. You're about to take the land.
Julia Roberts
Can I tell you because you said, has anything crazy ever happened during a play? But during screening of Steel Magnolias, there were a lot of reports of people having sort of like physical responses to.
Sean Hayes
That.
Julia Roberts
People who are predisposed to these outbursts, these conditions.
Sean Hayes
It's wild.
Will Arnett
Julia, I'm tell you a true story. Truer than Sean and Scotty, I guess, Flatlining. Watching Steelman. I don't know what happened, but no, no.
Sean Hayes
He almost died. And it was. But he was going into that kind of shaking, kind of crazy. And he.
Jason Bateman
Here we come. The landing gears down. I think landing gears down.
Sean Hayes
Approached the airport. It was amazing. An amazing performance. And how true to Life that actually really was.
Julia Roberts
Thank you. I'm with you. Someone just told me that there's, I think a smoothie place or something on Fire island and they have a smoothie called drink your juice, Shelby.
Will Arnett
Ah, yeah.
Sean Hayes
Very good. Very.
Will Arnett
I'm going to say. I'm going to say.
Jason Bateman
Will any Fire island smoothie jokes.
Julia Roberts
Hey, Jason, I just like to tee.
Will Arnett
Him up, you know, I'm gonna say December 1991.
Jason Bateman
Thank you.
Will Arnett
Mary Lou, I'm in Stowe.
Julia Roberts
Mary Lou Henner, I'm with you.
Will Arnett
Skiing. Skiing with my dad and my brother.
Julia Roberts
Oh. I went to Stowe, Vermont.
Will Arnett
And I saw you having breakfast in this little breakfast place. I just remembered that I haven't thought about this in years. And you were with a bunch of people. People. And you were having breakfast and.
Julia Roberts
Yeah, what did I eat?
Will Arnett
Not for nothing.
Sean Hayes
Wow. And mine was bad.
Jason Bateman
Yeah. Well, it just.
Will Arnett
Mine was short.
Jason Bateman
Great stories.
Will Arnett
Mine was short. Okay.
Julia Roberts
Well, yeah. And I was only there one time, Stove.
Will Arnett
The one time you were in so far.
Sean Hayes
There you go.
Jason Bateman
Can we talk about. I think. I mean, your career is just incredible and enormous and something we can.
Sean Hayes
Aaron Brockovit.
Jason Bateman
I mean, I want to the extent you're comfortable. I think one of the greatest things in your life is your marriage forever. And that's not common. And this guy is like a great guy, incredibly talented. I'm like. I really dork out over cinematographers. Can you. Would you. Are you comfortable talking about, like, is there a key? Is there a secret? I mean, this is like a great success story.
Sean Hayes
And how you met Danny Motor, everybody.
Julia Roberts
Danny Motor. Well, first, let me just say this is that he. I mean, I really like your podcast. He loves this podcast and I'm trying get him out here, be on it without telling him so that he would just like be tuning in. And all of a sudden there's this old lady's voice. But it didn't nice. And he saw my agenda book and he was like, smartless.
Jason Bateman
You're fans of guys.
Sean Hayes
I love that. I remember seeing you at a charity event and you were with Danny and you just looked at him and you go. And you looked at me and you go, isn't he the best?
Jason Bateman
I just love him.
Sean Hayes
And it was so sweet. I just thought that was the sweetest.
Jason Bateman
Julia. What's the secret, Dom?
Julia Roberts
I know I'm getting all sweaty. You know, it's really.
Jason Bateman
You never buddies.
Julia Roberts
Yeah, well, he's my best friend.
Jason Bateman
Yeah, there you go.
Julia Roberts
But also the only person I wanna make out with. So I think it's that Combination of things is amen.
Jason Bateman
Yeah.
Julia Roberts
But you know what? Here's the thing. Cause you just don't know. And you never wanna give all the credit away to one person and say, I owe it all to this one person. But honestly.
Jason Bateman
What's the section about? Kevin Hubain. Okay, here we go. I wanted to talk about Danny for Tracy.
Sean Hayes
He's an agent. He's a big agent.
Julia Roberts
But 25 years later, I mean, I just think, gosh, my life could have gone off the rails a hundred different ways in the last 25 years were it not for finding my person. I don't know how, I don't know what small nation of people I saved in a former life or I feel the same way.
Jason Bateman
Did you guys work on a project together? Is that how you met?
Julia Roberts
Yes, we met on a movie called the Mexican.
Jason Bateman
Ah, yeah.
Sean Hayes
Oh yeah.
Jason Bateman
Good looking movie.
Julia Roberts
And he was, he was on that movie and I. They had been shooting for about three weeks and he. God, what was he. He was the focus puller in that movie.
Jason Bateman
Yeah.
Julia Roberts
And he and Brad were always next to each other and, and always talking.
Jason Bateman
Right.
Sean Hayes
Brad Pitt, sister.
Julia Roberts
So I come in and I'm like, the new one. And I'm like, you know, they're talking about, I don't know, a new record that's come out or something. I'm like, oh, I love that.
Sean Hayes
Trying to jump in there.
Julia Roberts
I love that band. Oh yeah. Kind of start humming it and be like music. I know. And they're just like so locked into each other. I was just looking for a weight and the conversation and not realizing that one day this man that I was just trying to have a conversation with would be my husband.
Sean Hayes
Wow, that's so cute. And then you finally had a conversation.
Julia Roberts
We had a conversation. And he has not gotten me to shut up in 25 years.
Sean Hayes
I love that. I love that.
Jason Bateman
The fact that you're able to schedule and work out all these kind of. You go away, he goes away. Meet up every couple of weeks. Like, it's gotta be just so difficult. I know. High class problems. Listener. I.
Julia Roberts
These are high class problems. But you want to know something? We have in all these years and we have three awesome kids and only one time in our lives. And the kids were probably. They were all under five for sure. And now they're all in college. But there was one time when I was doing Eat Pray Love and Danny was shooting a movie in Detroit and we were apart.
Jason Bateman
So you were in India, right?
Julia Roberts
For seven weeks.
Sean Hayes
Oh, wow, that's long.
Julia Roberts
And I mean, I was lucky because I at least had the kids with me. But he. And there was just no way, even. Even one time. I did have three days off in a row. And I thought, oh, great, we can, you know, and even if I went as the crow flies from New Delhi to Detroit, it's a day and a half. We could have hugged and I'd have to turn around. Like, it was so. It was seven weeks. And when he finished and he came and joined us.
Jason Bateman
Never again.
Julia Roberts
We were just like, wow, that will never work.
Jason Bateman
All right. You said the kids are in college now. How recent have you become an empty nest? Semester.
Julia Roberts
It's been two and a half weeks.
Jason Bateman
Oh, my God. So I just, I just sent my first one away, but it was just down the street to usc. So I'm, I'm happy about that, but I, I'm. I'm not anticipating doing well when the 13 year old goes away in five years and being empty. Empty. How are you doing?
Julia Roberts
Yes. But you and your wife are crazy about each other, so it's all gonna be okay. I think it's when the kids leave and you turn around and you're like.
Jason Bateman
Like, ew, who are you?
Julia Roberts
What are you still doing here? That's when you run into troubles.
Sean Hayes
You were supposed to go too. Yeah.
Julia Roberts
Yeah. Like, are you still here?
Jason Bateman
Yeah.
Sean Hayes
That's amazing. I love that you revealed just in that, you know, you're the first cover star of the brand new 72 magazine, which is really cool. And you revealed George Clooney interviewed you and you revealed your dream 7 person dinner guest list, which I love. And the first person you named was Danny, which was great.
Jason Bateman
Oh, that's good.
Sean Hayes
And Jesus and Virginia Woolf and Joni Mitchell. It was a great list. I loved it. Yeah.
Julia Roberts
I mean, it's so funny because whenever someone asks you a question like that and, and you have to, you know, rapid fire answer and you feel like. And then afterwards you go like, oh, that'd be a good dinner party. And then of course, for the rest of the day it's like, oh, but what? Oh, it should have been this person. And what about that person? Yeah, yeah, but I think I did. I think I. I mean, wouldn't it? Jesus. Coming to dinner.
Jason Bateman
Yeah. I'm just trying to think, what would I ask him? Him what? What would I ask him today? You know, like last year or something? Yeah. George would be a good guest at that. Right?
Julia Roberts
George Clooney.
Jason Bateman
Yeah. Guy can talk.
Julia Roberts
Yeah.
Jason Bateman
Very good storyteller.
Julia Roberts
Great storyteller.
Jason Bateman
Yeah. He told us that classic about Crapping in the cat box.
Julia Roberts
Oh, my. It's. It's one of the greatest stories of all time.
Jason Bateman
Yeah.
Sean Hayes
Yeah, that is. And I hadn't heard it until he came out of the pocket. It was great.
Julia Roberts
Even better than hearing George tell it. Is Richard telling it? Because the voice. Richard's voice is so.
Jason Bateman
Oh, cutie.
Sean Hayes
Yeah, he's great. I love that guy.
Jason Bateman
And we will be right back. As the holidays approach, get what you need to personalize your home with Wayfair. I mean, there's a lot of things, a lot of boxes you gotta check. If you love people coming over during the holidays like I do, you just. You don't wanna miss certain things, you know? And Wayfair. Wayfair can really help you out getting there. So shop holiday decor for every room in the house. Whether it's Christmas trees, wreaths, or inflatables for the front yard, Wayfair's your one stop shop. Refresh your guest room with bedding, linens, throw pillows and accent chairs. For way less. And make holiday hosting a breeze with quality cookware that will wow any guest. Plus, get free and easy delivery, even on the big stuff. No more huge delivery fees on furniture, holidays, decor. You know, I was talking about inflatables earlier before. I've got my eye on this one inflatable there on the website that I feel like I might be able to get this past the finance committee here at the house. I'm going to pull the trigger this year, I think. Anyway, go look at the inflatable. You'll see what I mean. It's. It's heaven. It's heaven for a guy like me. All right, look, get organized, refreshed and ready for the holidays. For way less. Head to Wayfair.com right now to shop all things home. That's W A Y F A I R.com Wayfair Every style. Every home.
Sean Hayes
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Julia Roberts
The family that vacations together stays together. At least that was the plan. Except now the dastardly desk clerk is saying he can't confirm you're connecting rooms. Wait, what? That's right, ma'.
Will Arnett
Am.
Julia Roberts
You have rooms 201 and 709. No, we cannot be five floors away from our kids.
Will Arnett
The doors have double locks. They'll be fine.
Julia Roberts
When you want connecting rooms confirmed before you arrive, it matters where you stay. Welcome to Hilton. I see your connecting rooms are already confirmed. Hilton for the stay.
Jason Bateman
And now back to the show.
Sean Hayes
Wait, so I read that you saved a seven page love letter from Danny to someday show your kids. And have you showed your kids?
Julia Roberts
That's the first letter he ever wrote me. I have all the letters. And in fact, someone gave us a great present many years ago. These two beautiful sort of ceramic earthen pots. And the lid on one pot. Pot inside is painted love letters to Julia from Danny. And the other one is to Danny from Julia. And so there's all these like, just shoving stuff in there for years. There's just no telling what's at the bottom of these jars.
Sean Hayes
Right.
Julia Roberts
But yeah, we are. We're big on paper in our house and our kids are now too. So it's nice to like. I opened a book the other day and there was a posted from my oldest son in the handwriting of maybe like a seven year old, which is not too dissimilar from his handwriting now, but I could see the time and it just said, mom, I'm so, so, so, so, so, so sorry.
Jason Bateman
Oh.
Julia Roberts
What did I do? And I thought, oh, I wish I had written on the other side of the post of like, what the, what.
Sean Hayes
The grievance was other than your wedding day and the birth of your gorgeous children. If you could pick one year to relive, what would it be? Because it was so great.
Julia Roberts
Because it was so great.
Sean Hayes
Yeah, I love that. Somebody just asked me that the other day.
Jason Bateman
Yeah, Sean's coming with a classic.
Julia Roberts
A whole year.
Sean Hayes
A whole year or a day? Or is there one day?
Jason Bateman
Don't back off, Sean.
Sean Hayes
Yeah, no, mine was. Mine was any day, any year in college. I just loved my college life. I loved it.
Jason Bateman
God, love to see that.
Sean Hayes
I was a crazy person. It was great.
Julia Roberts
You know, I don't know, I'm just thinking any year that I could go back and spend with. Before my father passed away. He passed away when I was young. And so I feel like even though I don't kind of say, oh, this was a great year and I want to relive that year just to have any year with the knowledge that this is special because it's not gonna last.
Jason Bateman
Was he the one that Was running the. The theater school. Was it your dad and your mom together?
Julia Roberts
It was my dad and my mom together. But I think my dad was. Was the. Was the captain.
Jason Bateman
Was he alive long enough to start to experience some of your. Your momentum?
Julia Roberts
No. I was a child.
Jason Bateman
He would have loved it.
Sean Hayes
Yeah. Yeah. Did that. Did that. I mean, well, that's just a dumb question, but, like, what did you.
Jason Bateman
How did you.
Julia Roberts
How did that affect my life?
Sean Hayes
How is this holding you back?
Will Arnett
How's it holding you back now?
Sean Hayes
No, because my dad. I mean, I guess I haven't thought about it either. My dad left.
Jason Bateman
Get ready, Will.
Sean Hayes
My dad left when he. I was like 5 or 6.
Will Arnett
He did.
Sean Hayes
How he just literally shut the door.
Jason Bateman
He did. With the keys or.
Sean Hayes
Yeah.
Will Arnett
Surely he came back.
Julia Roberts
You guys are. Are cruel.
Jason Bateman
Was there a vehicle involved? We gotta have one of those things like Stern with the little sound things. Just the screeching tires. Anytime. His parents.
Will Arnett
Oh, you're right. We do. We need Fred here to do that.
Sean Hayes
No, but there was. There was something, like, with the fact.
Julia Roberts
I think growing up, abandonment can be funny.
Sean Hayes
Yeah. Well, it has to be.
Will Arnett
If you didn't laugh, you'd cry. I think that that's the kind of, you know.
Jason Bateman
Yeah.
Sean Hayes
I mean, my mom had Alzheimer's, too, which is once.
Will Arnett
I cried, so she doesn't remember him leaving.
Julia Roberts
Oh, my. Oh, my God, you guys.
Will Arnett
That's the good news.
Julia Roberts
I cannot play like this.
Jason Bateman
We find the good in everything.
Sean Hayes
You have to. This is how we love.
Will Arnett
This is how we love each other.
Sean Hayes
This is how we love. And also. But if I didn't make jokes or laugh about. I cried for three years straight about my mom having Alzheimer's. She's passed away since then. But I cried and cried and cried and tried to take care of her. And every one of our family members tried to care. And then after a while, you're just. You have to have some levity.
Jason Bateman
So.
Sean Hayes
So anyway, one time she was at this. This memory care place, and there was a band there. There's a live band. And I was sitting with Scotty and his mom and we.
Will Arnett
What a gig.
Julia Roberts
Yeah.
Sean Hayes
And.
Jason Bateman
Was one of the top bands.
Will Arnett
A bunch of people who won't remember you. They're like, should we play some of the old hits? Doesn't matter. They don't know. It's new to them. Everything's new to them. You could play a Beatles song and just say, we just wrote this.
Jason Bateman
That's what I said.
Sean Hayes
That's what I'm saying. That's why you have to make light of it, because otherwise you'll die crying. Okay, so.
Will Arnett
So anyway, this one, Satisfaction.
Sean Hayes
I just.
Will Arnett
Wrote it in the car, the way here.
Sean Hayes
So we're sitting there, and my. I'm sitting with Scotty and Scotty's mom, and all of a sudden, Scotty's mom, who's one of the sweetest people in the world, she gets up and starts dancing. She says to my mom, mary. She's like, mary, come on and dance. And she's like, yeah. And she's like, she's gonna get up and down. She tries to grab me, and she goes, sean, come on, let's dance. I go, mom, I don't want to dance. There's all these people watching in this room, and there's a dance floor, and I'm like, no, Mom, I don't want to watch. She goes, come on, let's dance. I go, no, Mom, I don't want. She goes, don't be such a p. And I was like, what? She would have never said that.
Will Arnett
Did you die laughing, though?
Sean Hayes
Oh, my God. I laughed.
Julia Roberts
Did you dance with her?
Sean Hayes
No, I was too embarrassed. I know. I wish I could now. Blah, blah, blah. So anyway. No, she was sweet, though.
Will Arnett
But anyway, you and Tracy must have laughed that one over the years.
Sean Hayes
Oh, God. So my whole family, we obviously loved her so much. But anyway, so this is a good one. I wrote down because somebody asked me to see. If you had to marry. This is for everybody, Julia. If you had to marry a woman. Guys, if you had to marry a guy, me. If I had to marry a woman, who would it be? Mine would be Carrie or Raina or Allie or Jen or Amanda. I would marry Jason's wife. Amanda, if you had to marry a girl.
Julia Roberts
That's a lot of people. And I didn't even, like, make the top ten.
Will Arnett
And.
Sean Hayes
Hang on. I'm not done. Julia.
Julia Roberts
Yeah.
Jason Bateman
Okay.
Sean Hayes
There you go.
Julia Roberts
I would MARRY Either Frances McDormand or Cate Blanchett or. Oh, nice, Emma Thompson.
Sean Hayes
Nice.
Jason Bateman
Wow.
Sean Hayes
Those are good answers.
Jason Bateman
Those are pretty good.
Julia Roberts
There's more, but I'm limiting myself to three.
Sean Hayes
Yeah. Guys.
Jason Bateman
You had to marry a guy. I would marry one of these two guys because of the formula you were talking about before, which is you gotta marry a friend if you wanted to laugh last.
Sean Hayes
That's right.
Jason Bateman
I've always. I've always thought. And so far, I'm right. Because I. I do. I do really like that. Amanda.
Will Arnett
I'd marry. I. I'd. Same thing. I'd marry one of these two guys. Because they're guys that. That I love and that I like. And Jason, we'd be able to share golf clubs. And because we have, like, I. I tried his wedge the other day. Is great. And also, Jason, because I'd love to marry a known bottom.
Jason Bateman
And then you don't want to have to do any fighting. Right. No negotiating.
Will Arnett
Right. And no. I truly, truly, I would be one of these two guys. I love these guys so much.
Sean Hayes
And I love you guys, too.
Jason Bateman
I want to hear about your new. Your new thingy.
Sean Hayes
So I just watched it last night. I want. I couldn't watch it.
Jason Bateman
They're locked. They're locked, Sean. So watch them.
Sean Hayes
I loved it so much. After the Hunt. It's called after the Hunt. I just watched it last night. What an awesome, dark, complicated character you're playing. As always, I believed every moment, every word coming out of your mouth.
Jason Bateman
Yeah, you were.
Sean Hayes
And it was crafted in such a way that reminded me of. And now after the Hunt will be on that list. Doubt. What's the other one? Like, Conclave. After the Hunt. Like, they're all kind of brilliantly made, brilliantly performed. Your performance was incredible. And the end, I was like. Cause the whole time, I'm like, what's going on? What is happening? And then the reveal was so cool. I mean, crazy, but cool.
Jason Bateman
Yeah.
Sean Hayes
Anyway, thanks for coming.
Will Arnett
Love to hear a question.
Jason Bateman
I'm so proud of it. It sounds like. It sounds like a pretty high level.
Sean Hayes
What drew you to the material?
Julia Roberts
Luca Guadagnino, who is just. He is.
Sean Hayes
He did call me by your name. I mean, tons of great movies.
Julia Roberts
He is so wonderful as a person and. And so innovative and the most curious person I've ever met. He's so curious about people and why we do the things we do and why we don't do things, and just every detail of every. Everything he is. There's nothing that you're seeing that hasn't been specifically chosen in this shade of color. And this statue and this painting being slightly askew or, you know, whatever. I mean, it's just really. It's so.
Sean Hayes
There's a really cool moment, too, when you guys. You and. Oh, forgive me. Aya. Right.
Julia Roberts
IO, IO debris.
Sean Hayes
So sorry. So when you and IO are. It's kind of towards the end, and you have this incredible scene outside of this building, and it starts as, like, regular over the shoulder, and then it just cuts to you guys looking right into the can. I love that. It was so effective. As you're finishing this argument, just right into the camera, cutting Back and forth directly. It was really cool.
Jason Bateman
Oh, I can't wait, by the way.
Sean Hayes
Six minutes standing ovation at the Venice Film Festival.
Jason Bateman
Yeah.
Sean Hayes
Yeah.
Will Arnett
Wow. Really?
Julia Roberts
People tried to sit down. I was like, oh, no, no, no, silly. Don't be rude.
Sean Hayes
I just loved it.
Julia Roberts
Yeah. Oh, I'm glad. Thank you. I'm glad you got to see it.
Jason Bateman
Yes, it is.
Julia Roberts
Luca just texted me how crazy.
Sean Hayes
Wow.
Jason Bateman
Crazy wow. Tell him he's doing well.
Julia Roberts
He must have felt us talking about, is it.
Jason Bateman
Is it nice to launch a film at a. At a festival like that, as opposed to just sort of a standard kind of release where it just kind of comes out?
Julia Roberts
I've never really had an experience like this before, so it's nice to do new things, you know, especially this.
Will Arnett
What do you mean? What do you mean you haven't had an experience?
Julia Roberts
Well, I mean, I've never been to the Venice Film Festival, for one. And, I mean, I guess George and I went to Cannes a few years ago, but that was the first time I'd ever been to Cannes.
Will Arnett
Oh, wow.
Julia Roberts
Because on television, they all look so terrifying. Like, why would you want to put yourself there?
Will Arnett
Yeah, I agree.
Julia Roberts
So if people say, oh, do you want to go to Cannes? No, thank you.
Jason Bateman
Off season.
Julia Roberts
Yeah. It just looks so terrifying, people screaming and.
Jason Bateman
But what about all the glam and festivities of it all? Is that appealing just in the slightest? Playing dress up and all that stuff?
Julia Roberts
Once you say yes, like, once you commit to it, then you have to have a sporting event mentality about it. You have to. You're gonna have a great time. Danny had on a tuxedo. I was just. It was great. That. That part was great.
Sean Hayes
One final question before we let you go, because we've taken up way too much of your time. What is the coolest or weirdest or amazing piece of memorabilia from any film? Have you kept anything that you love?
Jason Bateman
That's a good question.
Julia Roberts
That is a good question.
Sean Hayes
Because there are also. There's so many iconic films.
Will Arnett
I try not Contaminated soil from Erin.
Julia Roberts
Brockovich, surely, but no water samples. No.
Will Arnett
Okay.
Julia Roberts
But I haven't done anything cool like a.
Sean Hayes
Or a costume or, like a shirt or anything.
Julia Roberts
I have a lot of costumes. I have a lot of costumes. And somewhere, I actually think I have some wedding dresses from Runaway Bride.
Jason Bateman
Oh, wow.
Julia Roberts
Yeah.
Sean Hayes
Do you have a place you keep them? I mean, like, a. Separate from your house?
Julia Roberts
Probably dangerously. Just in the garage in New Mexico. And maybe there's just generations of mice that have made homes now that they're trying it On. They're each trying it on boxes. Yeah, but not really. More like, I have a beautiful drawing that Meryl Streep did for me of my character that she gave me as a wrap gift from August Osage County.
Sean Hayes
Like, I. Oh, I love that movie.
Jason Bateman
That movie's so good.
Julia Roberts
Some things like that.
Jason Bateman
That. What a cat.
Sean Hayes
George, eat your fish.
Julia Roberts
That movie? Yeah, Eat your fish, bitch. George Clooney produced that movie.
Jason Bateman
Oh, yeah, that's great. Yeah, it's very good.
Sean Hayes
Okay, so it premieres. So it's called after the Hunt. It premieres. Wait, select theaters October 10th and wider October 17th. It's so good. I mean, I just loved it. I loved it so much.
Julia Roberts
Thank you.
Jason Bateman
Julia, you're the greatest.
Will Arnett
Yeah.
Sean Hayes
Yeah.
Julia Roberts
You guys are so fun. I. Honestly, this has just zipped by and I.
Jason Bateman
It was quick, right?
Julia Roberts
I just want. I wanted to chance to do it again and. And be quick and witty and. And more.
Jason Bateman
You are sublime.
Sean Hayes
More.
Julia Roberts
One of the. One of the dudes.
Jason Bateman
You are. You are. You are amazing. Come back anytime you want.
Julia Roberts
Can we just talk about the microphone that Will Arnett has in his apartment? Yeah, what is up with that?
Sean Hayes
It's nice.
Jason Bateman
It's.
Will Arnett
It's janky. Right now I'm in a very. I'm in a makeshift situation because I just moved in here yesterday.
Jason Bateman
Yo, let's. The whisper booth all set up, huh?
Will Arnett
I know, I know, I know. It's. It's not great. The Internet's not great. I got the windows open because the AC is broken. I got a guy here.
Jason Bateman
You got a real. You got a vital VO career.
Will Arnett
You don't.
Julia Roberts
We get to see.
Jason Bateman
Oh.
Julia Roberts
Oh, those chairs are nice chairs. Do we get to see your. Your guest star?
Jason Bateman
Yeah. Where's your babe? Yeah, let's pull your babe in real quick.
Will Arnett
She just went out. She just went out.
Julia Roberts
Oh, sure. Just left.
Jason Bateman
I think it's all fake. I think. What? You guys. Yeah, it's like a. It's a fake media story. No, we're thrilled for you.
Sean Hayes
Yeah, we are thrilled. Julia, thank you. You're incredible.
Jason Bateman
Thank you for saying yes. Tonight.
Will Arnett
We're talking about a thrill.
Jason Bateman
Come back anytime you want.
Julia Roberts
Mrs. Oh, thanks. Thank you.
Jason Bateman
Say hi to Danny.
Will Arnett
It goes without saying, I've been such a fan of yours for so long. You're so great at what you do.
Sean Hayes
Yes.
Jason Bateman
Thank you, truly.
Julia Roberts
Thank you. And can I just say. And sorry to leave you out, Sean, because I am your. And I appreciate you so much. That's okay.
Sean Hayes
Likewise.
Julia Roberts
But Arrested Development. Danny and I ate that show up like ice cream. And I'm happy to report that our youngest son, who's 18, just started college episode one pilot. We just started all over again. Me and him together. We are, wait, loving it.
Jason Bateman
Can you invite me over? Cause I haven't seen them since then, and I want to watch them all again. And my kids won't watch anything I do.
Julia Roberts
Come over. We'll go back. We will back this right up.
Will Arnett
Jason and I haven't watched. We used to watch when it first came on the air. I'd come over Sundays. We'd watch football together and we'd watch the episodes as it aired, we were like, wow, this is so crazy.
Jason Bateman
Yeah. And then we'd wake up in the morning and we'd call in for the overnights.
Julia Roberts
It is waiting to be canceled. How much is going on all the time is. It's extraordinary. It is.
Will Arnett
Well, you know Mitch Hurwitz, Julia. I know you know Mitch a little bit.
Julia Roberts
Yeah.
Will Arnett
And spoke to for the first time in a few months two days ago, out of the blue.
Sean Hayes
How's he doing?
Will Arnett
He's doing okay. Yeah. He, you know, he's the funniest guy. Immediately you start texting with him, and he's the funniest person of all time.
Jason Bateman
Yeah, agree.
Julia Roberts
I mean, that show really is one in a million.
Jason Bateman
Sean's going to catch it one of these days. We're going to get some tapes, Sean.
Will Arnett
We'Re going to make him watch it Clockwork Orange style.
Jason Bateman
Yeah. Well, thank you, Julia, for being with us today. Enjoy the rest of your day and good luck. Luck with the film. After the Hunt.
Will Arnett
Can't wait.
Jason Bateman
Coming in October, after the hunt.
Will Arnett
October 10th.
Julia Roberts
October 10th. Wide. October 17th. My birthday. October 28th.
Sean Hayes
Oh, great.
Jason Bateman
That's my elder. That's. That's Franny's birthday. My eldest.
Julia Roberts
October, it's the.
Jason Bateman
It's a great day.
Julia Roberts
It's the big month now.
Will Arnett
Three days after my son Archie and Wendell Clark's birthday. Okay. It doesn't matter.
Sean Hayes
Like, it's like three and a half months and a week. Couple weeks after mine anyway, so.
Will Arnett
I.
Sean Hayes
Love you to pieces. Thank you for being here.
Julia Roberts
Lots of love, you guys. Thank you.
Jason Bateman
You, too. Bye. Bye.
Will Arnett
Wow, Sean, isn't she great?
Sean Hayes
I love. By the way, sir, for so long she's been on my list for. So I'm sure she's on top of our list.
Jason Bateman
Yeah. Of every list.
Sean Hayes
I know.
Jason Bateman
Name the list. She's at the top.
Sean Hayes
I was iconic. I was looking at her list of credits, and you're just like, bang. Bang, bang, bang. One big movie after another.
Jason Bateman
Other.
Sean Hayes
It's just.
Jason Bateman
Even has even taken pauses, you know, as she. She's. She's elected to take pauses, and the industry just. Just keeps her place in line. And she comes back in, and she's just. Bang. Another incredible director she works with.
Sean Hayes
Yeah.
Jason Bateman
You know, it's. It's an incredible career.
Sean Hayes
Yeah. And that movie's really good.
Jason Bateman
Yeah, that's.
Will Arnett
I can't wait to see that movie.
Jason Bateman
It's not. It's not a. It's not in the English countryside chasing foxes on horses. Right.
Sean Hayes
No, this is. This is not. None of that's happening.
Will Arnett
It's not about a salon after the hunt, where everybody's sitting in the drawing room talking about the hunt.
Jason Bateman
Wonderful shot back there, James.
Will Arnett
What a hunt we had, eh?
Jason Bateman
Oh, that tricky little fox.
Will Arnett
Tricky little fox.
Sean Hayes
Yeah. What else can you say? She's. You know, I was gonna talk. Ask her about being called America's sweetheart, because she's been called that for her whole life, and what that means, like, if she hates that anymore. You know, it's like. It's true.
Will Arnett
Everybody.
Sean Hayes
Everybody. There's nobody that doesn't love her.
Jason Bateman
Right. But it's also like, you can. You can hate it, but, like, it is something maybe you could look back on when you're, you know, lying on the bed, taking your last 25 breaths and going like, that was pretty cool that I held that title, you know?
Sean Hayes
Yeah. I mean, for so long.
Jason Bateman
She's awesome.
Sean Hayes
And there's other friends of ours that has that title as well.
Jason Bateman
There are those that share it.
Sean Hayes
I share it.
Jason Bateman
Well, hang on.
Sean Hayes
So many people.
Jason Bateman
I don't know.
Will Arnett
Who'S thinking of a buy.
Jason Bateman
Yo. I know, Will. You're googling something. Well, let's see what you found, Zoa.
Will Arnett
I just. I just loved her story about that. She kept the. The dresses from Runway. Smart, Smart less. Smartless is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Rob Armjarv, Bennett Barbico, and Michael Granteri. Smart Less. Do you ever feel like it's been a week, but it's only 2? Tuesday AMC Theaters has a plot twist for you. Movie tickets are now 50% off on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. A's, A's, A's, A's, A's. I did my own effect for that. Your next escape is just a ticket away at AMC Theaters. Visit amctheaters.com smartlist to learn more and get 50% off. Off off Tickets to Tuesday and Wednesday Showtime Times.
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Hosts: Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett
Guest: Julia Roberts
Date: October 13, 2025
In this lively and heartfelt episode, the SmartLess trio welcomes America’s sweetheart, Julia Roberts. The conversation meanders through Julia’s Georgia roots, her quirky path to stardom, vivid theatre memories, her enduring marriage, parenthood, and her new film After the Hunt. The episode is packed with warmth, humor, personal anecdotes, and classic SmartLess banter—offering fresh insights even for longtime Julia Roberts fans.
Timestamps: 02:18—06:59
Timestamps: 07:05—12:02
Timestamps: 12:07—15:17
Timestamps: 15:17—20:32
Timestamps: 20:32—28:47
Timestamps: 31:10—33:39
Timestamps: 33:39—34:26
Timestamps: 37:30—43:12
Timestamps: 44:22—53:41
Timestamps: 54:55—58:17
“I just think, gosh, my life could have gone off the rails a hundred different ways in the last 25 years were it not for finding my person.”
— Julia Roberts on her marriage to Danny Moder (39:54)
“It’s such a goofy little job. I love it so much.”
— Julia on what still draws her to acting (34:11)
“The magic of theater...”
— Jason Bateman, floored by Julia’s prop story (15:15)
“If you didn’t laugh, you’d cry.”
— Will Arnett, discussing how the group copes with family hardships (50:59)
Timestamps: 60:26–64:00+
This heartwarming, hilarious episode offers rare glimpses into Julia Roberts’ personal life and creative journey. It covers everything from her unconventional start, famous family friendships, and love for craft, to her enduring marriage and approach to both family and fame. The SmartLess hosts’ signature rapport delivers plenty of laughs and affection, keeping the tone light—even while touching on deeper themes like loss, nostalgia and choosing joy. A must-listen (or read) for fans of Julia, the SmartLess trio, and candid, charismatic conversation.
Julia Roberts’ newest film, "After the Hunt," premieres in select theaters October 10 and wide on October 17, 2025.
End of summary.