"Paul Rudd"

Summary

SmartLess Episode Summary: "Paul Rudd" Release Date: April 28, 2025

---

1. Introduction and Welcome

The episode kicks off with Will Arnett enthusiastically introducing the guest, Paul Rudd, highlighting his multifaceted career and personal ventures.

Notable Quote:

• Will Arnett [05:23]: "Guys, my guest today, who's far funnier than I am, grew up in the Kansas City area and he's a die-hard Jason Sudeikis, die-hard Kansas City Chiefs fan. He's the co-owner of a candy store in Rhinebeck, New York..."

---

2. Paul Rudd's Involvement with Samuel's Sweet Shop

Paul delves into his role as a co-owner of Samuel's Sweet Shop in Rhinebeck, NY, a beloved local candy store that he and his partners acquired to preserve its legacy after the original owner passed away.

Notable Quote:

• Paul Rudd [07:19]: "It's called Samuel's Sweet Shop and it's in Rhinebeck, New York. And it was started by a guy named Ira... Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Hillary Burton, who are neighbors of mine... we went in and bought the candy store and now we run it."

---

3. Meeting His Wife and Industry Connections

The conversation shifts to Paul’s personal life, particularly how he met his wife, Julie, while seeking a publicist post his work on "Clueless." Their mutual connections and long-standing relationships in the industry are also discussed.

Notable Quotes:

• Paul Rudd [09:21]: "I was the director of Clueless... I knew nothing about anything."
• Sean Hayes [09:57]: "Paul, you're upstate. So you meet your wife Julie. You meet her through her being your publicist..."

---

4. Paul Rudd's Early Life and Career Beginnings

Paul shares insights into his upbringing, moving frequently due to his father's job with TWA, and how these experiences shaped his adaptability and social skills.

Notable Quotes:

• Paul Rudd [15:07]: "I've moved around quite a bit... I just loved comedians. I loved watching SNL... I loved Steve Martin albums."
• Paul Rudd [29:30]: "We got very used to being the new kids in school. We didn't really know any different."

---

5. Experiences Working at Studebaker's and Holiday Ham Company

Paul recounts his unconventional early jobs, including DJing at a 50s-themed bar and handling ham at the Holiday Ham Company, infusing humor into these stories.

Notable Quotes:

• Paul Rudd [21:11]: "I got the job and then they saw that I had really long hair, and they said, you got to cut your hair."
• Paul Rudd [32:52]: "I worked at Holiday Ham Company... I would unload trucks, cut open the plastic, and handle ham hocks."

---

6. Paul's Education and Path to Acting

Reflecting on his educational background, Paul discusses his involvement in high school forensics (speech competitions) and how a pivotal suggestion led him to pursue acting seriously.

Notable Quotes:

• Paul Rudd [15:07]: "We had speech class... When I was about 16, my neighbor suggested I consider acting."
• Paul Rudd [16:22]: "I decided that acting was exactly what I wanted to pursue..."

---

7. Influences: British Comedy and Early Inspirations

Paul highlights the impact of British comedy on his humor style, particularly influencing his appreciation for shows like "Monty Python's Flying Circus" and "Fawlty Towers."

Notable Quotes:

• Paul Rudd [30:52]: "My parents loved Monty Python... I thought it was hilarious to see grownups being completely silly."
• Sean Hayes [31:11]: "Holy shit. There's no way you guys like Fawlty Towers."

---

8. Theater Stories and On-stage Incidents

Paul shares intriguing and humorous anecdotes from his theater days, including handling unexpected incidents like audience deaths or disruptions during performances.

Notable Quotes:

• Paul Rudd [40:57]: "There was a death in the audience... Somebody leaned over and puked on about 10 different people."
• Paul Rudd [45:46]: "I was lying on a bed with Rachel Weisz... I realized my balls were hanging out."

---

9. Relationship with Judd Apatow and Career Highlights

The discussion moves to Paul's collaboration with legendary producer Judd Apatow, detailing how their email correspondence blossomed into a fruitful professional relationship that launched numerous successful comedies.

Notable Quotes:

• Paul Rudd [49:31]: "I emailed Judd about a Steve Martin reference... He emailed me back, and that's how we met."
• Sean Hayes [48:25]: "You and Judd collaborated on so many movies that were huge, seminal comedies."

---

10. Closing Remarks and Future Plans

As the episode wraps up, the hosts express their admiration for Paul, discuss upcoming projects like the "samuel's sweet shop" live show idea, and share heartfelt goodbyes.

Notable Quotes:

• Sean Hayes [55:03]: "You're world-class, tip-top."
• Will Arnett [55:17]: "We're gonna do a SmartLess outing from the candy shop."

---

Selected Noteworthy Quotes with Timestamps

• Will Arnett [05:23]: Introduction of Paul Rudd and his achievements.
• Paul Rudd [07:19]: Discussing the acquisition and significance of Samuel's Sweet Shop.
• Sean Hayes [09:57]: Highlighting Paul's meeting with his wife through professional channels.
• Paul Rudd [21:11]: Sharing his DJing experience and the humorous challenges faced.
• Paul Rudd [30:52]: Reflecting on British comedy's influence on his humor.
• Paul Rudd [40:57]: Narrating unexpected on-stage incidents during theater performances.
• Paul Rudd [49:31]: Describing his initial interaction and relationship with Judd Apatow.

---

Conclusion

This episode of SmartLess offers an intimate glimpse into Paul Rudd's life, blending his professional journey with personal anecdotes. From his early struggles and unconventional jobs to his influential collaborations and humorous theater stories, Paul provides a multifaceted portrait of his enduring career and cherished personal ventures. The hosts' engaging dialogue and shared laughter encapsulate the essence of SmartLess—thoughtful conversation intertwined with organic hilarity.

Transcript

[Jason Bateman]

Hello, friends. Jason here. We are so excited that Smartless has officially joined the SiriusXM family. We can't wait to announce new surprise guests who we know that you'll love. And if you want to be the first to hear new episodes ad free and a whole week early, subscribe to SiriusXM podcasts plus on Apple Podcasts to start your free trial today.

[Will Arnett]

Life these days moves at lightning speed, but we all need a moment to recharge for what's ahead. That's where the all new Nissan Murano comes in. The ultimate space to catch your breath and re energize. With available features like massaging leather appointed seats, a panoramic moonroof, a Bose premium sound system and ambient lighting, the Murano is thoughtfully designed to be your personal sanctuary, readying you for whatever the day brings. Because sometimes the greatest rush is not rushing at all. Discover it [e-mail] Features listed are available upgrades. Lowe's knows that taking on more projects should be rewarding. That's why loyalty members get more every day with rewards for every home or business purchase. Plus shop weekly member deals and get access to free standard shipping. So what are you waiting for? Join for free Today Lowe's we help you save loyalty program subject to terms and conditions. Details@lowe's.com Terms subject to change.

[Jason Bateman]

So listen, this is, this is I know Sean's favorite part of the show.

[Will Arnett]

The, the cold open, super fun.

[Jason Bateman]

Well, but no, that is. Is his really favorite part of the show is what follows here. After the fun music, he gets to do his. His coffee chat. But right now he sort of welcomes the. The listener in.

[Sean Hayes]

Right.

[Will Arnett]

How you doing?

[Paul Rudd]

How's everybody?

[Jason Bateman]

Gets a sense of everything.

[Sean Hayes]

Asks everybody how like a little funny quip, like what's the bit gonna be, you know?

[Paul Rudd]

Yeah.

[Will Arnett]

Or I could do a dad joke. You know, I could do like something like, I could do something like.

[Sean Hayes]

Or I know you could do that.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

Or you could just say to our audience, you could just say hi.

[Will Arnett]

Hi.

[Sean Hayes]

Welcome to Smartless.

[Will Arnett]

Welcome to Smartless.

[Sean Hayes]

Smart.

[Paul Rudd]

Smart, smart. Less.

[Will Arnett]

I have to say something. Okay. This year, you guys, both of two of my best friends in the whole world, you, both of you are doing some of the best work I've ever seen you do. I'm hanging out with Will on the set of his movie and I've seen some footage and Will, the work is truly, truly incredible.

[Jason Bateman]

This is what I'm hearing.

[Will Arnett]

Truly incredible. Mind blowing. I've never seen. People are gonna be blown away.

[Jason Bateman]

Not surprised.

[Will Arnett]

Jay, when I And Jay, when I sat down and watched Black Rabbit, I've already spoken about it. It's so. This year is so exciting. I'm so excited for people to see both of you in these two incredible pieces. And I know you cringe when I say this pieces of art because I do believe that there's two. Thank you.

[Jason Bateman]

Coming from the reigning Tony Award winning.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, that's not why I said it. It's not what I said.

[Sean Hayes]

No, but you set the tone for us. You kind of let out and you know what a perform spicy from the Tabasco Tia.

[Will Arnett]

And now it was unexpected.

[Jason Bateman]

Nobody thought.

[Sean Hayes]

Watch him go back.

[Jason Bateman]

That's as he's getting yanked out.

[Paul Rudd]

Nobody.

[Will Arnett]

I have a good. Wait. I have.

[Jason Bateman]

When do we start recording this episode? You guys got a heart out.

[Sean Hayes]

Wait, Sean, your guess is going crazy.

[Will Arnett]

Do you want me. I know I'm going to get there, but you want me to ask you guys a like, thoughtful question that we can riff on or I have a joke. Or we can just get to the.

[Jason Bateman]

Guest choice of patter today.

[Will Arnett]

Huh? Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

What do you want? What's up?

[Jason Bateman]

You've had some time. We haven't done one of these in a couple of weeks. I guess you've got some.

[Will Arnett]

That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.

[Jason Bateman]

I'd love a dad joke.

[Will Arnett]

I'd like a dad joke. Okay, well, this is a. I have. Okay, I can do a dad joke. I can also do it. This is a great joke.

[Sean Hayes]

I just heard yesterday you have genres of jokes too. Like you have subsections.

[Will Arnett]

All right, so this guy, this patient is in New York. That patient is in an a urologist office. And the doctor says, well, the result is that you got to stop masturbating. And the patient says, why? And the doctor actor says, because I'm talking to you.

[Sean Hayes]

I love it.

[Will Arnett]

Oh, really? I thought that was funny.

[Sean Hayes]

I love it. I love it.

[Will Arnett]

Wait, and then I got.

[Jason Bateman]

Wait, I like that. But I. I don't have it.

[Sean Hayes]

You know what?

[Jason Bateman]

It's old.

[Will Arnett]

How about this?

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Will Arnett]

Why did the Mexican. Why did the Mexican take anti anxiety medication? Careful for Hispanic attacks.

[Jason Bateman]

Oh, that's all right. That's okay.

[Sean Hayes]

I feel like that's okay.

[Will Arnett]

I feel like that's great. Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

But also, also. But also, also for the record, no reaction.

[Will Arnett]

Absolute zero reaction. Story of my life. Ready? Here we go.

[Jason Bateman]

America. Gafan.

[Will Arnett]

Guys, my guest today, who's far funnier than I am, grew up in the Kansas City area and he's a die hard Jason Sedeikis, die hard Kansas City Chiefs fan. He's the co owner of a candy store in Rhinebeck, New York. Paul Rudd once said his staying youthful, eight hours of sleep. You got to bury the tell people mistaken for Ben Affleck. He met his wife when looking for a publicist after filming Clueless. It's the hilarious, delightful, and widely talented Paul Rudd. Paul, Wait, did you guys reveal.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, he's doing his mouth. Slight reveal.

[Jason Bateman]

This is long.

[Will Arnett]

Wait, how did you know he was.

[Jason Bateman]

Let me tell you something because there's only a few. There's Claire McCaskill, there's Rob Riggle, there's Jason Sudeikis. And how do you.

[Sean Hayes]

Well, do you get mistaken for Claire McCaskill a lot?

[Paul Rudd]

I get a lot of her emails and it's usually when they talk about the three from KC the big three. It's Sudeikis, me and McCaskill.

[Sean Hayes]

How has it taken this long for Sean? I feel like this is Sean's fault.

[Jason Bateman]

Didn't make your deal any earlier than now. And now, finally, you've given us a manageable price.

[Sean Hayes]

Aline Kashishian was rough. Yeah.

[Will Arnett]

Are you with Elaine too, Paul?

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's a package.

[Will Arnett]

That's your manager. That's great.

[Paul Rudd]

Always.

[Will Arnett]

She's great.

[Jason Bateman]

Great.

[Paul Rudd]

Back when she was. She was my agent when she was an assistant. That's. That's how far back we go. Yeah.

[Will Arnett]

No way. Oh, wow. How about that?

[Jason Bateman]

Wait a second. So. So she was working the phones for the. For the real agent, and that real agent kind of siphoned you off on the junior/receptionist ICM.

[Paul Rudd]

It was right around, right since. Kind of clueless. Yeah.

[Will Arnett]

Wow. Wow. And wait, I want to go back because I didn't know you own a candy store. Can you talk to me about the candy store, please?

[Paul Rudd]

Sure.

[Will Arnett]

Like, where is it?

[Sean Hayes]

Where's the dress on it?

[Paul Rudd]

Well, it's called Samuel's Sweet Shop and it's in Rhinebeck, New York. And it was. It was. It was started by a guy named Ira, and he was just this sweet guy and he passed away sadly when he was very young. And we didn't want the candy store to kind of go away because it's. It's not a big place, not a big town, and. And all the high school kids would work there and everyone needs a candy store. And so Jeffrey Dean Morgan and Hillary Burton, who are neighbors of mine. Yeah, let's.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, I know me some Jeffrey Dean.

[Paul Rudd]

You do?

[Sean Hayes]

I like all his performances. Sorry.

[Paul Rudd]

Anyway, we all we went in and another guy named Andy Ostrooy. We went in and bought the candy store and now we run it.

[Jason Bateman]

Now Rhinebeck is. You can't walk there from the city. Right. That's a trip.

[Paul Rudd]

You can. It'll take you a while.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah.

[Jason Bateman]

You'd need a lot of candy to fuel it. Yeah, it's like a two hour drive.

[Paul Rudd]

It's about a two hour drive. Yeah, about an hour depending on if you're leaving from the Upper west side. It's about an hour and 45 leave.

[Will Arnett]

I'll get a head start. The Jenny Slate also owns a small store like upstate New York, Massachusetts. Oh, never mind. Moving on a general storage. She has a general store.

[Sean Hayes]

Are we going to start going down? Sean, you want to start listing people who also own business, come on down.

[Jason Bateman]

The ET5 and let us know.

[Sean Hayes]

Paul's got a candy store in Rhinebach. Okay. Started by Ireland.

[Will Arnett]

And that's it. Wait, so go back. So you met Aline that way and then you met your wife because you were looking for a publicist, Is that right?

[Paul Rudd]

Yes. Well, I was the director of Clueless.

[Will Arnett]

You were the director?

[Jason Bateman]

Oh, Amy.

[Paul Rudd]

So the Amy Heckling said after we filmed Clueless, I knew nothing about anything. I still don't that much, really.

[Jason Bateman]

Were you clueless?

[Paul Rudd]

Yeah, I was Clueless. Well done, you.

[Jason Bateman]

Welcome to Smartless. Guys, we got it. We're cooking with gas.

[Sean Hayes]

I mean.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah. By the way, I love your Julie. Your wife Julie, she's awesome.

[Paul Rudd]

Oh, thank you.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Paul Rudd]

And she loves Julie.

[Jason Bateman]

That's what it is.

[Paul Rudd]

Thank you. She loves you guys. And she said to say hi and she also said say nice things about her. So I love my wife and. And she's an avid listener.

[Will Arnett]

And then we just hear the page flip and then you.

[Paul Rudd]

And now it's enough of her. And so. Yeah. So what were you talking about?

[Will Arnett]

I was talking about meeting Julie. Looking for a publicist on Clueless. Amy Hecker.

[Sean Hayes]

Paul, you're upstate. So. So you meet your wife Julie. You meet her through. She's your publicist. We've been through that. I mean, let's just get down to here in the brass.

[Paul Rudd]

Nobody really cares.

[Sean Hayes]

You are a guy who is.

[Will Arnett]

I do.

[Sean Hayes]

You've been working at the highest level for over 30 years. And I mean that in a way. You have been consistently doing stuff. Comedy, drama, all this, like, right. Always. No missteps.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Paul Rudd]

Not a few.

[Will Arnett]

No. Not even. Not even hollow? No. Halloween 6. Not even that. I saw that. You were fucking great in that. That was 75 years ago.

[Paul Rudd]

That was the first thing I ever did. The first movie.

[Will Arnett]

No. Was it really true?

[Paul Rudd]

Yeah. Now, had you seen the first five parts?

[Will Arnett]

Were you kidding me?

[Paul Rudd]

I'm in the storyline.

[Will Arnett]

I've seen all of them. I saw all of them.

[Paul Rudd]

You saw them all?

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, I saw the first and loved it. There was five more.

[Paul Rudd]

He was even more than that. Yeah. The first is a classic when you get to six plot holes.

[Will Arnett]

What are you talking about? I love that.

[Jason Bateman]

There's some shark jumping.

[Paul Rudd]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Jason Bateman]

Do you end up getting killed in that one? Spoiler.

[Paul Rudd]

No, I survived.

[Sean Hayes]

Do you.

[Jason Bateman]

Do you. Do you get a good shot in on him?

[Paul Rudd]

I remember. Yeah. We have a. We get into it. We had some scrapes.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah. No, now, because you've done so many movies. Do you really, truly remember. Sorry, What Jason's asking.

[Jason Bateman]

I want to wrap. What was the weapon that you guys were tossing with you and Mike Myers?

[Paul Rudd]

I think I hit him with a pipe.

[Jason Bateman]

Okay.

[Paul Rudd]

I think I maybe hit him with.

[Sean Hayes]

That's a good choice.

[Jason Bateman]

So you stun him for a second, but then he continues.

[Paul Rudd]

By the way, it didn't kill him.

[Will Arnett]

No.

[Jason Bateman]

That's what's horrifying about Mike Myers is that he never runs. He just walks. Because he's going to get his walks. He's going to take his time.

[Sean Hayes]

Do you ever do a tie in around. Around Halloween at the candy store with, like, photos of yourself from the steel movie? That would be good.

[Paul Rudd]

Great. Thank you. Well, that's a great.

[Sean Hayes]

I don't know.

[Paul Rudd]

I haven't done it. Yeah, I haven't really done that yet, but maybe this year write this stuff.

[Jason Bateman]

Down so you end up surviving six. But was not you. Not in seven. Did you.

[Paul Rudd]

No, I, I didn't. I. They didn't ask me about seven.

[Jason Bateman]

They did like a cast change like Fargo or.

[Paul Rudd]

I think they kind of got. I want to say in seven, it might have been Josh Hartnett.

[Jason Bateman]

They did a white lotus swap.

[Paul Rudd]

That might have been H2.

[Will Arnett]

Oh, I remember that.

[Paul Rudd]

Came back strong in seven.

[Sean Hayes]

If I. If I. If I had been a reviewer of seven and knowing you weren't in it, my headline for my review would have been all trick and no treat.

[Will Arnett]

Oh, geez.

[Sean Hayes]

You know.

[Paul Rudd]

Oh, man.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah.

[Jason Bateman]

You know, Paul, you're in a pretty special episode of Smart so far. We're only 31 minutes in and we're.

[Paul Rudd]

Not even the first 29, of which my microphone went down.

[Will Arnett]

But I know I did want. I did want. I know.

[Paul Rudd]

Can I just say also how fun it is just to you Know when to listen to you guys. Keep your knees bent.

[Jason Bateman]

We're only halfway through.

[Paul Rudd]

To listen to you guys before I come on and to hear the jokes which I really, really liked.

[Will Arnett]

Did you like my urologist joke?

[Paul Rudd]

I did like the urologist.

[Will Arnett]

You're the one.

[Paul Rudd]

Yeah, I'm a fan of the dad jokes. I heard one not that long ago that I really liked, which was.

[Will Arnett]

Where.

[Paul Rudd]

Do McKidd melons go for the summer?

[Will Arnett]

Where?

[Sean Hayes]

Where?

[Paul Rudd]

To John Cougar's Melon Camp.

[Will Arnett]

Nice. That's a good one.

[Jason Bateman]

I remembered my urologist joke. God goes in for a prostate exam.

[Will Arnett]

No. Jesus, no.

[Sean Hayes]

Watch this, Paul.

[Will Arnett]

Watch this.

[Jason Bateman]

We don't have any.

[Paul Rudd]

I like a good prostate exam joke.

[Sean Hayes]

No, Paul, watch. Watch how you bludgeon a joke. Keep going, Jason. Watch. Go, Jason.

[Jason Bateman]

Right. No, try right before I chest the tape. I will fall.

[Sean Hayes]

Here we go.

[Jason Bateman]

So guy walks into urologist.

[Paul Rudd]

Hey.

[Jason Bateman]

He's got to get his prostate exam. And so he's got to lean over the table. He's got to get the. The old. And so the doctor says, okey doke, here we go this time. Jimmy, no hard on. And the guy turns around, he says, my name's Bill. He goes, yeah, no, I'm Jimmy.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah, that's not even.

[Sean Hayes]

I've heard Jason try to tell that joke 50 times, by the way.

[Paul Rudd]

It's a great joke.

[Sean Hayes]

Sometimes he's like. And the guy, Paul says. And then Paul says, jimmy. And he goes, bill. I'm not Bill, I'm Jim. And I'm like, what are you. And I looked at him like, what are you doing?

[Jason Bateman]

Listen, I don't write. I speak.

[Will Arnett]

Wait, we're gonna get. We're gonna get to.

[Sean Hayes]

Okay, here's Sean. Sean, I'm gonna grab the reins here.

[Will Arnett]

So, Paul, what are you talking about?

[Sean Hayes]

I've been driving because you've been. You're all gussied up on Pop Tarts, Paul. So I was saying that you've been at the top of level. So you. You. You. You start out of the gate. You sure you do Halloween 6. It's amazing. But then you do, like, Clue. You just do so many movies. So how was it that you came? What was the thing? First of all, what was your first professional job? Not necessarily movie, but how did you know? Like, it seems like you. The highest level from moment one. But what was moment one for you? Like, how did you. How did you leave Kansas City? What was that thing? Did you.

[Will Arnett]

Oh, yeah. I didn't have any of those questions prepared. Go ahead.

[Sean Hayes]

Well, we're 25 minutes in man Paul's microphone.

[Paul Rudd]

It is totally. It's this weak connection that I have. Thank you for saying that, Will. It's not.

[Jason Bateman]

It's thank you call.

[Paul Rudd]

I don't think it's totally true. I've made many missteps, and I've. I've been very fortunate in many instances. But when I was a kid, I just loved comedians. I loved watching SNL and all of that stuff and listening to Steve Martin albums. And I think that, you know, when I was kind of in school, we had speech class. We had a radio and TV class. I loved watching the David Letterman show. And I used to start making little videos like he used to do.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Paul Rudd]

And I used to perform in speech competitions. And when I was, I want to say, about 16 years old, my neighbor in Kansas City said, what do you think you want to study? What do you think you want to, you know, pursue? And I said, I don't know, I like the arts and I like drawing and all of that. And he said, what about an actor? It seems like that's something that you would maybe like to do. And I think it was some kind of lightning bolt moment where I thought, yeah, maybe that is what I'd like to do, because I certainly always liked funny stuff and movies and. And everything else. And it feels like from that moment on, I decided, oh, this is exactly what I'm going to try and pursue. And I then went to school for it and I studied it and I.

[Will Arnett]

And what were these. What was this humorous interpretation thing? Because we had something similar in high school, but it was called forensics. I don't know why.

[Paul Rudd]

Yeah, forensics, exactly. This is. It was called forensics in Kansas City, too. And sometimes I would tell people I've. I study forensics, and they think it's like what Quincy did.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah, right, Quincy. Yeah, Quincy. Medicine for all the young listeners. Quincy.

[Paul Rudd]

Do we know why it's called forensics, Sean?

[Will Arnett]

I don't. I don't. And in high school, people would be standing against a wall and talking to it, like. And I didn't know what they were doing, but they were rehearsing, like, but really close to a wall and talking to a wall. I thought that was the weirdest thing, but now I get it. They were just rehearsing their monologue or their forensics or whatever it was.

[Sean Hayes]

You sure you weren't institutionalized? You weren't in an institution at that point?

[Paul Rudd]

It looks like an institution.

[Jason Bateman]

You may have still been at the hospital, Sean. It wasn't even comedic Forensics.

[Paul Rudd]

Well, there were different categories. There was dramatic interpretation, humorous interpretation, prose and poetry, improvised duet, acting and.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, and we will be right back.

[Will Arnett]

One of the hardest parts about B2B marketing is reaching the right audience. You put so much effort into a campaign only for it to get wasted on the wrong people. I don't know. It's like reaching pro gamers instead of programmers. That's where LinkedIn ads come in. Fortunately, LinkedIn is a network of over 1 billion businessy people who might actually be interested in your business. You can even target your buyers by job title, industry, company role, seniority, skills, company revenue, and did I say job title yet? So stop wasting budget on the wrong audience and start targeting the right professionals with LinkedIn ads. LinkedIn will even give you a $100 credit on your next campaign. So you can try it yourself. Just go to LinkedIn.com smartless that's LinkedIn.com smartless Terms and conditions apply only on LinkedIn ads. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. So guys, I always talk about BetterHelp and I'm going to talk about it again, you know, because therapy can feel like a big investment, but the state of your mind is just as important as your physical health. I'm a big, big, big believer in that. So with that in mind, let's talk numbers. Traditional in person therapy can cost anywhere from 100 to $250 per session, which adds up fast. But with BetterHelp online therapy, you can save on average up to 50% per session. With better help, you pay a flat fee for weekly sessions, saving you big on cost and on time. Therapy should feel accessible, not like a luxury. With online therapy, you get quality care at a price that makes sense. Your mental health is worth it. And now it's within reach. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people globally. It's convenient too. You can join a session with the click of a button, helping you fit therapy into your busy life. Plus switch therapists at any time. Your well being is worth it. Visit betterhelp.com smartless to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelph. E-L-P.com smartless Biore is incredibly versatile and it's incredibly comfortable. I love it. I wear it all the time. It's designed to look great beyond the gym, whether you're running errands, heading to the office, or, you know, meeting up with friends after work or something. The core short is the Short that started it all for Vuori. It defines fitness, versatility. One short every sport. Ideal for fitness, running and training, but also stylish and comfortable enough to wear all day. It moves without restriction. It's soft, lightweight and has a four way performance stretch. It has built in comfort and support with a breathable boxer brief liner. There's a perfect fit for every preference. That's available in three three inseam options. I own core shorts. I also own the Ponto short which I love. They're super, super comfortable. I wear them running to the gym, I wear them to the store. I come home, I lay on the couch, I get up, I do some another errand. It just. You never have to take them off. Sometimes I even sleep in them. Not only will you receive 20% off your first purchase, but enjoy free shipping on any US orders over $75 in free returns. Go to viori.com smartless and discover the versatility of Vuori. Clothing exclusions apply. Visit the website for full terms and conditions.

[Jason Bateman]

And now back to the show.

[Will Arnett]

So, Paul, I heard you were a DJ for a while, right?

[Paul Rudd]

Well, I, I mean barely, you know.

[Will Arnett]

I thought it was like a long, I thought it was a year long thing.

[Paul Rudd]

I really did dj. But when you say to people that, you know, oh, I used to dj, that sounds like it was kind of a cool thing. But the way I djed was not cool in any.

[Jason Bateman]

It was like weddings and bar mitzvahs and stuff.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah, bar mitzvah.

[Paul Rudd]

And by the way, eventually it was that the first time I djed was I was in high school, just an ice cream truck. And I went, nobody. They're like, we don't even have equipment in this thing. We. I was trying to get a job as a waiter. I was in high school and I went to different restaurants and I had really long hair and I didn't want to cut my hair because I, I was a g. I was a, I was a cheese ball. And I'm like, I gotta keep this.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, sure, you're crushing it.

[Paul Rudd]

And so, and so I was getting rejected at every waiting, you know, application I'd fill out. Like, there's no way I couldn't get a job. And I went to this bar called Studebakers, which was like a 50s bar in Kansas City. Had to be 23 to get in. They didn't want any of the younger crowd.

[Sean Hayes]

Wow.

[Jason Bateman]

Sure, yeah, they didn't even want, they didn't even want new drinkers. You had to have at least under your belt.

[Paul Rudd]

They want some certified 23 year olds who, like, who's gonna go to a 50s bar anyway?

[Will Arnett]

Right?

[Sean Hayes]

You have to be born in the 50s to get here to even want.

[Paul Rudd]

To go to this place.

[Will Arnett]

That's funny.

[Paul Rudd]

And, and so I went to try and get a job and they said, we're not hiring. And I saw that they had a DJ booth and I said, do you need a dj? Because I also dj, which is not true. I didn't. But they said, actually we do. But here's the thing. At Studebaker's, every hour on the hour, we do these things called showtimes where all the waiters hop on the bar and they do like born a hand jive or some dumb dance thing.

[Jason Bateman]

Sean, we don't need to. The next sentence out of your mouth doesn't need to be. You mean like this?

[Sean Hayes]

Like this, yeah. Or are they still in business?

[Jason Bateman]

Or what are their hours, address? Any of those sentences are. No.

[Sean Hayes]

So. So you lied. So you lied, but you knew you had a stack of wax in the car.

[Paul Rudd]

So I lied and they said, well, here's the thing. You got to audition because we do these showtimes. So I, I, I had to audition with a lip sync of a 50s song.

[Jason Bateman]

Which one? I know you still.

[Paul Rudd]

I chose. So I chose Volare. Yeah, and which was. I just thought it'd be funny because it's in, you know, Italian and. But I put on a tuxedo and a pompadour to cover my long hair.

[Will Arnett]

Oh, my God.

[Paul Rudd]

Like an Elvis wig. Right. And so anyway, I got the job and then they saw that I had really long hair, and they said, you got to cut your hair. We're a 50s bar, not a 60s bar. And I said, well, I won't do it. So they made me wear the Elvis wig every time I worked.

[Will Arnett]

Oh, right.

[Jason Bateman]

Did you wear the pompadour every time?

[Paul Rudd]

Yeah. And it was also a really bad pompadour, so it was really cheap wig. And so it started to lose its pompadour shape and it just turned into like a big, weird black tuft of something. And when I was working, people didn't realize that I had long hair and had to cover it up, so they just thought I was some young kid with this weird wig. I don't know what they thought. But anyway, that started, that started my DJing career.

[Sean Hayes]

You know what it reminds me? You make me think, you know, you hear about, you know, famously, Michael Jordan when he had his hall of fame speech, and then he, you know, he's being celebrated for Being the greatest basketball player. And then he harp. He. He really harped on like his high school coach who cut him from the basketball team and all the people who didn't like. Right. Like that. He still hung on to that. And I think we should get stickers made up and go around these Kansas City establishments that rejected you. Stick it on the front window. This place rejected Paul Rudd. Right. Really let that stink linger on him. You know what I mean?

[Jason Bateman]

Your hiring practices are ridiculous.

[Will Arnett]

Are ridiculous. Yeah. That's great. Speaking of your. Your original last name was Rud. Rudsky. Rudnisky Rudnicky. What is it?

[Paul Rudd]

Rud Rudnitsky. Down like way back. Not while I was born or my grandparents. Way back. Great, great grandparents. Yeah.

[Will Arnett]

Wow.

[Paul Rudd]

Polish, like Russian. Belarus. That Eastern European. Yeah.

[Jason Bateman]

Have you done the thing where you do the whole look back and like, do you know, do you know, do you know your people, what they did, where they were, the wars they fought?

[Paul Rudd]

And I found that it was mainly kind of like in an area of Belarus. Yeah. Something called a town called Holmeck.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, well, imagine anybody's listening from Holmeck Hollow. Your boy, you know.

[Will Arnett]

But now wait. So Paul, let me tell you if I got this right. You were born in Jersey, moved to Kansas City, had a bar mitzvah in Canada. Your parents were from England.

[Paul Rudd]

Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

So you're in Canada. This is. Now I'm interested.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah. I mean, why. Why so many different places?

[Paul Rudd]

Well, I being, you know, everyone in my family was kind of was British. Both my parents, everyone was kind of around London. My grandparents were in London, but they. We moved to the States and then. Or my. My parents did. Anyway, most of the family went to Canada and so I had grandparents and aunts and uncle in. In Toronto and, and in the gta.

[Sean Hayes]

No, he really knows it.

[Paul Rudd]

I know it.

[Sean Hayes]

And the way he said Toronto too, he. This is real. Yeah.

[Paul Rudd]

I'd walk to the byway, get my Empire Strikes Back cards in French.

[Will Arnett]

Yes.

[Jason Bateman]

Are you still a Maple Leafs fan?

[Paul Rudd]

Pass the Mr. Submarine. This is all for you, Will.

[Sean Hayes]

This is such good stuff. Pizza. Pizza.

[Jason Bateman]

967 Mr. Sub though, isn't it?

[Sean Hayes]

M. Now wait, did you live in Canada?

[Paul Rudd]

No, but I been going there my whole life.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Paul Rudd]

And so most of my relatives were in Canada. So when I had to get a bar mitzvah, my parents said, well just do it in Canada. Cuz that's where most of the family is.

[Sean Hayes]

Where was it in Canada? In Toronto.

[Paul Rudd]

In Toronto? Yeah.

[Will Arnett]

No way.

[Sean Hayes]

Paul, come home.

[Will Arnett]

Come home. Wait, and so you're sure. Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

By the way.

[Will Arnett]

Great.

[Paul Rudd]

Yeah, I will.

[Will Arnett]

What, so your parents, so your parents are in England. Your dad was a, a tour guide or something and you're. And, and was the vice president of twa and your mom.

[Paul Rudd]

Oh, no, he wasn't the vice president. That would have been nice. No, he did work for twa. TWA was the, the, the airline twa, their hub was in Kansas City, which is why we wound up in Kansas City.

[Will Arnett]

Oh, I see. Got it, got it, got it.

[Paul Rudd]

When, when my dad left London when he was a kid. He's about nine years old. And then they moved to New Jersey, his family, and they were in Patterson, New Jersey. But he eventually started working with TWA before I was born and, and he kept getting job transfers. So we moved around a lot. When I was a kid. I was born in New Jersey and I lived in New Jersey and then I moved to Kansas for about a year and then I moved to California for a few years and then I moved back to Kansas. So we moved around quite a bit. As.

[Jason Bateman]

What about all the moving around and stuff was there like that? It's giving me anxiety. All the schools and then la, all the kids. Oh, look at this.

[Paul Rudd]

Did you guys, when you grew, when you. Did you grow up in one spot? Yes, always. I mean, Jason, you were always la.

[Jason Bateman]

Since I was seven, I've been in Los Angeles. Yeah.

[Paul Rudd]

Where were you before that?

[Jason Bateman]

I was in Salt Lake City from 4 to 7, I was in Boston from 2 to 4 and I was in New York from 0 to 2. Just, just outside in Rock.

[Paul Rudd]

Oh, beautiful.

[Jason Bateman]

But what about, what about you adapting into all those different environments? Did you have a sibling to sort of protect you or did you do the protecting?

[Paul Rudd]

I have a younger sister, she's two and a half years younger than me and I think, yeah, we always were just kind of the new kids in school. We got very used to it. We didn't really know any different.

[Jason Bateman]

But like, did that shape your. At an age where you're kind of learning your personality and kind of what your strong suit is and what isn't, you know, are you funny? Are you like. Did you find that you were perhaps made you nicer earlier because you had to be accepted by these new groups all the time?

[Will Arnett]

Uh huh. Yeah.

[Paul Rudd]

Possibly. Yeah. I sometimes think that, you know, a good way to kind of ingratiate yourself or just not, not get your ass kicked is to just be kind of pleasant and if you can make somebody laugh, then you can be accepted a little bit easier. Yeah, I certainly Was drawn and always have been drawn to people who are funny. I mean, my dad was hilarious. And I think that, you know, when I'd be.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Paul Rudd]

Probably in some new school or something, I was. I'd go home and I'd listen to those Steve Martin records or.

[Will Arnett]

You had that album Get Small. Did you ever listen to that? Yeah.

[Jason Bateman]

What about British humor? Because my mom's British as well, and she really shaped my taste in dry, kind of no winking, you know, humor. Did your dad do that for you?

[Paul Rudd]

Well, I think that, you know, some of the earliest things I could really remember laughing at was they used to show Monty Python's Flying Circus on pbs.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah. Love that.

[Paul Rudd]

My parents loved it, and we'd watch it and I thought it was hilarious. I never really understood or thought in terms of, like, British comedy or a British sensibility, but I did always respond to that. And then. And then when Fawlty Towers was on, it was just one of my favorite.

[Sean Hayes]

But it's like, you know, you guys like that?

[Jason Bateman]

Monty Python's a great example, because.

[Sean Hayes]

Holy shit. There's no way you guys like Fawlty Towers. Sean. Oh, shot. You really like that? Fucking let the world know, man. Yeah.

[Jason Bateman]

You guys discover this. But, like, Monty Python, there's like, there's the broad half of the troupe, and then there's, like, the dry half of the troupe. Like, there's Michael Palin, you know, being crazy and goofy. And then you cut to John Cleese, and he's just blinking at him like, you fool. Which were you drawn to? Was it the John Cleese side since you went to Fawlty Towers?

[Paul Rudd]

Well, Cleese is always. Yeah, hilarious. I think that. I think I just. There was, like, an absurdity to it. And there was also something. It might have been the first time maybe why I was drawn to Steve Martin as well, but it was like, oh, my God, there are grownups that are being completely silly. I remember that Twit of the Year competition as a kid and crying. I couldn't believe how funny it was to see these grownups acting this way.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Paul Rudd]

And I mean, there was still so much with. Same with Steve Martin, where it was this kind of ridiculous, I'm getting happy feet kind of thing.

[Jason Bateman]

Right?

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah.

[Will Arnett]

I want to know about glazing hams, because that was one of your odd jobs out of school. What do you mean? Glazing hams? What does that even mean?

[Paul Rudd]

It means. Exactly. It means glazing hams. Yeah.

[Will Arnett]

Like, what does that, though? What do you mean?

[Jason Bateman]

Did you work at Honey Baked Ham?

[Paul Rudd]

No, that was our competitor.

[Jason Bateman]

Sorry, sorry.

[Paul Rudd]

No, no.

[Will Arnett]

What do you mean glazing them though?

[Sean Hayes]

Like, still touchy.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah, the hot spot.

[Paul Rudd]

Look, it. Just please don't bring that up to anyone at Holiday Ham Company because they had a real issue with Honey Bay.

[Will Arnett]

Wait, but how do you glaze a ham? Like, what do you do?

[Paul Rudd]

It's a whole process, Sean.

[Jason Bateman]

Let's keep it clean here.

[Sean Hayes]

Sounds like a YouTube how to video. How do you glaze it?

[Will Arnett]

Is it like in a factory?

[Paul Rudd]

No, no, it was in a. Like a mini mall and.

[Will Arnett]

Oh, I see. Like personalized.

[Paul Rudd]

It was like a. It was a standalone store.

[Will Arnett]

Oh, God.

[Paul Rudd]

Bait, I believe, is a chain, isn't it?

[Will Arnett]

Okay, right, got it. I just wanted. Really curious.

[Paul Rudd]

No, I don't mean to besmirch Honey Baked.

[Will Arnett]

No, no, no.

[Sean Hayes]

Nobody took it that way. No, no, no.

[Jason Bateman]

Thanks public company.

[Paul Rudd]

But there's one thing I don't want to do. It's piss off the people at Honey Baked Hair.

[Sean Hayes]

No, you don't have a target on your back now. Don't worry. From the gang over at Honey Glazed.

[Paul Rudd]

Okay, I love.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah, good.

[Paul Rudd]

Oh, no, no. What do you love?

[Will Arnett]

No, you go, you go. What are you gonna say?

[Jason Bateman]

Guys don't play.

[Paul Rudd]

All right, I was gonna.

[Will Arnett]

You go.

[Paul Rudd]

Jesus. No, you go.

[Jason Bateman]

This is a great bit.

[Sean Hayes]

It is a great bit.

[Will Arnett]

It almost seems. I wanna know where you worked. I wanna know where you worked.

[Paul Rudd]

Oh, I worked at Holiday Ham Company.

[Will Arnett]

No, you're gonna say something else about working.

[Paul Rudd]

So I worked at this place and it was a whole, when I say it was a whole process. I would get there very early in the morning and I would unloaded truck filled with ham.

[Jason Bateman]

Naked ham. These aren't glazed yet, right?

[Paul Rudd]

These are unglazed.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, you're talking unglazed hams.

[Paul Rudd]

Yeah, yeah. By the way, this isn't. This isn't like, you know, pigs hanging in a truck. These, these were ham hocks. Are they hocks?

[Sean Hayes]

They can be. Sure.

[Paul Rudd]

And they were cryovac, vacuum sealed.

[Will Arnett]

Oh, wow.

[Paul Rudd]

And what I would have to do is unload a truck at like 5 in the morning and then I would have to cut open.

[Jason Bateman]

Release them from their sheaths.

[Paul Rudd]

Yes, exactly. Cut open the plastic and then I would have to put them. These entire ham hocks.

[Will Arnett]

So far I haven't heard one thing that we're going to keep in the episode, but go ahead.

[Paul Rudd]

Yeah, no, no, this is absolutely. It's boring myself as I even listened to myself.

[Sean Hayes]

So there you are, you're Unloading. You got a truck full of unloaded.

[Paul Rudd]

So I got a truck. So I gotta put it on a thing, I slice it, I dice out a whole thing. I gotta cut it in half with a saw, I put it on a spit, and then I take a propane torch and a sugar sifter and I have to wear protective gear on my wrists.

[Will Arnett]

Same approach to acting. Same approach to your acting.

[Paul Rudd]

That's exactly right.

[Will Arnett]

Right.

[Paul Rudd]

That is how I approach all of my roles. And how long were you.

[Jason Bateman]

Were you longer in this job than you were at the. At the Bevik's place?

[Will Arnett]

The.

[Jason Bateman]

The 50s joint?

[Paul Rudd]

Oh, at the. At the Studebakers? Yeah, Studebakers. I went from Studebakers to holiday ham company. So, you know.

[Sean Hayes]

Did you cut your hair before you were handling those hams? Sorry, can I ask, did you have the long hair when you were handling the hams or did you have.

[Paul Rudd]

Yeah, they didn't care, you know, but.

[Jason Bateman]

You had to put that in a net though, didn't you?

[Paul Rudd]

I. By the way, I think I had it in our net.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah.

[Paul Rudd]

And. Yeah, yeah, it was in a netter. I was in the back. So if I was up front dealing with customers, sure. There's no way.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, there's no way they comb it out.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Paul Rudd]

Now, I can only imagine, though, you know, at least one or two of those long hairs were getting glazed into the ham.

[Sean Hayes]

But you just. I just thought it'd be a good Italian place called. I. I can only imagine. It's just canoli. Okay, so it's terrible. It's terrible stuff. It's Saturday. It's Saturday and it's free. And it's free. So go ahead, Sean, get to your laundry list of questions and forget trying to have a conversation with Paul Rudd. Let me help you check off your. Have you done a fucking Rudd here of fucking. He's one of the most handsome, by the way. Paul and I've seen it in stuff before. You look. You always look so good.

[Will Arnett]

So handsome.

[Sean Hayes]

You're so handsome. You're so good. We're around the same age. What are you doing? Just. Honestly, just an email with a couple tips.

[Will Arnett]

Olive oil bag, eight hours a day. You say the most important thing is eight hours a day. That's what you say.

[Paul Rudd]

It isn't what I said. I think I said something about sleep once where it was like, oh, yeah, this is this. You try and get enough sleep.

[Jason Bateman]

But I sleep a lot. I don't look anything like you.

[Paul Rudd]

Can I, Can I. You know what the secret is?

[Will Arnett]

What love?

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, my God.

[Will Arnett]

That's our time.

[Paul Rudd]

That's our love and love and laughter.

[Jason Bateman]

You saved it. And then Julie will have you back.

[Sean Hayes]

Who knew?

[Paul Rudd]

This is.

[Jason Bateman]

We'll be right back.

[Will Arnett]

So, as you know, I talked about this before, Scotty and I are redoing our floors in our kitchen just because of the wear and tear over the last 20 years or something. And it's not quite done yet, but we're really excited about it because it's home project season and Wayfair is the best kept secret for all things renovation. Whether you're making a little update like us, like our new kitchen cabinet hardware, or doing a full renovation or whatever you're doing. Wayfair has stylish and quality home improvement products for every budget. They've also got free and easy delivery, even on the big stuff. And the best part is they'll even help you set it up. So, like I said before, we're redoing our floors and they're going to be so clean and shiny that the dinnerware by Lenox that we got from Wayfair, you can eat right off the floors. That's how great it's going to be. And by the way, why not just to, like, break in the floors? I'm going to eat my dinnerware by Lenox from Wayfair. It's going to be great. Shop the best selection of home improvement online. Get renovating with wayfair. Head to wayfair.com right now. That's W A Y-F-A-I R.com wayfair. Every style, every home. So here we are in smartless and running. It takes wearing a lot of hats, and one of those hats is the tech hat. And I'm not very good at tech, especially running a website. And even if tech isn't your thing, Kinsta's Managed WordPress hosting is a relief. Their expert team handles it all. They've bundled up all the essentials to make sites stress free. With speeds that allow your visitors security that never sleeps and a dashboard so intuitive, you'll wonder why everything isn't this easy. Imagine your site running at warp speed just by switching to Kinsta. Your website could run up to 200% faster. And if you ever need help, you'll get real WordPress pros, not AI chatbots. Experts who respond in minutes and tackle even the trickiest problems. No scripts, just actual people who know their stuff. Tired of being your own website support team? Switch your hosting to Kinsta and get your first month free. And don't worry about the move. They'll handle the whole transition for you. No tech expertise required. Just visit kinsta.com smartlist to get started. That's K-I-N-S-T a.com the start of a new year is the perfect time to get organized, set goals, and prioritize what matters most. If financial wellness is a top priority for you in the new year, Rocket Money is here to help. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Rocket Money will even try to negotiate lower bills for you. They automatically scan your bills to find opportunities to save, and then from there, you can ask them to negotiate for you. They'll deal with customer service so you don't have to. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to $740 a year when using all of the app's premium features. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com SmartLess today. That's RocketMoney.com Smartless RocketMoney.com Smartless and now back to the show.

[Jason Bateman]

No, seriously, Paul, anything weird ever happen on stage? Real quick before we're out of time?

[Will Arnett]

Well, yeah. You did a lot of theater. I don't know if you listen to the podcast, but I love good theater stories.

[Paul Rudd]

Were something I know, of course. Yeah, I do get anything ready or.

[Jason Bateman]

You can sub it out for a Star wars story if you ever audition.

[Will Arnett]

I have other. I have lots of other questions.

[Paul Rudd]

Great theater. Theater stories.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah. Yeah. Something bad happened in the theater. Something.

[Paul Rudd]

Oh, something really bad. Yeah. No, no, I've had. I actually, I. Well, I've done a show where somebody.

[Will Arnett]

Died in the audience on stage.

[Paul Rudd]

There was a death. There was a death in the audience. There was. Somebody went to the. To the bathroom in like the fourth row. That was an interesting thing to get a whiff of that during the scene.

[Will Arnett]

No way.

[Paul Rudd]

Somebody lost control of their balance.

[Jason Bateman]

So not only did you kill, but you acted the shit out of that part.

[Will Arnett]

Nice. Bravo.

[Jason Bateman]

Thanks, guys.

[Paul Rudd]

Well, it wasn't me that did it. Oh, yeah, no, that would be. Actually. That would be. That would be horrifying.

[Will Arnett]

Wait, what was the show? And somebody really died.

[Paul Rudd]

Somebody died last night Of Ballyhoo was the show. These were two separate occasions.

[Sean Hayes]

Okay.

[Paul Rudd]

Unless I'm conflating them and they shit themselves and they die because that often.

[Sean Hayes]

Happens by the way it's often.

[Paul Rudd]

I think it even happens in the other order, where it's like, you die, and then you wind up just shitting yourself. That's a shake that happens.

[Sean Hayes]

So, wait, so the person dies?

[Paul Rudd]

I've had somebody, by the way, I've also done a show where somebody in the middle of a scene, I heard a bunch of commotion in the audience and then didn't realize it didn't subside. So it's like, what is happening? Only later came to realize that somebody in the front row of the balcony leaned over and puked on all of the people below.

[Will Arnett]

Oh, my God.

[Paul Rudd]

Swear to God.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Paul Rudd]

It was a show. It was a show called Grace. And there was a scene, and I was doing it with Michael Shannon. Michael Shannon had this long monologue. We're doing the scene. It's just the two of us. We hear this noise. We're both aware that, like, there's a commotion, but usually it dies down and it's getting louder and louder. And Michael is pissed off and starts screaming his lines toward the direction of the noise to make a point. Which, of course, when Michael Shannon is yelling at you, like, it's the most terrifying thing. It's the thing that did make everybody kind of quiet down. And then after this scene, I have to rush over to the wings to do a costume change. And I asked the stage manager, I said, what the hell's. What happened out there? And he's the one that said, somebody threw up. Somebody was drunk.

[Will Arnett]

Wow.

[Paul Rudd]

Threw up over the balcony, and it puked onto about 10 different people.

[Sean Hayes]

I'm covered in barf.

[Jason Bateman]

This show's not for you, huh?

[Sean Hayes]

That's amazing.

[Paul Rudd]

Should have seen the Lion King. Yeah.

[Jason Bateman]

So, yeah, that was a great button.

[Sean Hayes]

Wait, Sean, this is, like, your dream come true.

[Will Arnett]

I know.

[Sean Hayes]

Finally, theater story. Talk about the person who died.

[Paul Rudd]

I mean, learn that after the fact. Like, oh, my God. They had to close down, and then eventually they had to bring somebody, like a stretcher. They get somebody out of there. It's like, oh, wow, that's. It's weird. I mean, you know, you hear of people dying on stage.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Paul Rudd]

But you don't hear as much about people dying near the stage.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah. Yeah. But did you. So you stopped the show. Yeah. You stopped and they. Right. We did not keep going. You kept going.

[Paul Rudd]

I don't think. Dude, are you kidding?

[Sean Hayes]

Are you kidding? He killed, by the way.

[Paul Rudd]

Died.

[Sean Hayes]

The guy.

[Paul Rudd]

We slayed him. Yeah. Died nearing the end of the show.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah.

[Will Arnett]

And so you finished?

[Paul Rudd]

I'm not so sure.

[Will Arnett]

And anyone realized, oh, wow.

[Paul Rudd]

Until. Until it was over, until people were shuffling out of the theater. That one guy stays.

[Jason Bateman]

Like a nice, peaceful passing.

[Paul Rudd]

Yeah, it was a. Definitely a courteous way to go for us, for the actors.

[Will Arnett]

That's a great.

[Paul Rudd]

Now, Sean, you have. I know. You have plenty.

[Will Arnett]

I've told. I think I've told every single good one I know on here.

[Paul Rudd]

Is there one you haven't told yet?

[Will Arnett]

I mean, I'd have to think about it.

[Sean Hayes]

Me and Reina are at the dinner.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah. Yeah, right.

[Paul Rudd]

I've had there, by the way. I. I had one. Now they're all kind of coming. They're flooding back. I did a scene. I was lying on top of a bed. I was doing a scene. I was lying on top of a bed and with this woman. Rachel Weisz was in the show. And I was wearing boxer shorts and a T shirt. And all of a sudden, this had never happened before. I heard the audience laughing, and I'm like, what is going on? I realized it's because I was lying on the bed. I had my leg up and kind of like. And I realized my balls were hanging out. No. Which is worse than actually, like, even your schwann's penis.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah.

[Paul Rudd]

It's like if. When it's just your balls, or just one ball, by the way. It might have been just one ball, but it was. It was loose.

[Sean Hayes]

You know what's crazy about that?

[Paul Rudd]

Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

You know what's crazy about that? Your balls were showing in that show, and the show was the Shape of Things.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Paul Rudd]

Yep. That's exactly right. That's exactly right. That was the show. The Shape of Things.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah.

[Will Arnett]

That's nice.

[Paul Rudd]

They were pendulous.

[Will Arnett]

I have one that's not as racist.

[Sean Hayes]

The Shape of Things should have been. And the poster should have been your.

[Paul Rudd]

Balls hanging out of shorts. I think we've all seen the shape.

[Sean Hayes]

Of those things with the great Fred Weller. With our mutual friend Fred Weller, whom we adore.

[Paul Rudd]

Yes.

[Sean Hayes]

Great Fred Weller.

[Paul Rudd]

You guys go back, do you?

[Will Arnett]

Yeah. What's another one in my mind is we were doing west side Story. This isn't as funny, but we were doing west side Story. And you know the jets and the Sharks, and when they negotiate the rumble, they say, you know, knives, guns, pipes, fists, whatever. And this one guy, Darren. Yeah, well, you just blew the joke. But. But no, it's like that. So Darren. Darren, my friend Darren, who's the most gayest man on the face of the planet and wears it with a badge of honor. He's Very, very, very funny. But he was a jet and he's trying to act tough. And you know, during performance 250, they go guns, knives, you know, pipes, fists. And he just jumps out and he goes, purses. Same joke. Same joke as dance, I guess it's funny. You had to be there. He had to be there. All right, so listen when you're scrolling through because you've been in. I want to go through before you leave. I just want. I mean, my God, I had all this.

[Jason Bateman]

You're in an hour 10. Let this guy get back into his weekend.

[Will Arnett]

I know. Sorry. Wild Oats.

[Sean Hayes]

Nobody's credits.

[Will Arnett]

Your credits are Wet Hot American Summer and Friends. You run on Friends was an anchorman, by the way. And then 40 year old virgin and Knocked up and working with Judd Apatow and Role Models and Ant man that you wrote. I didn't know you wrote Ant Man. That's crazy.

[Sean Hayes]

No, I didn't know that.

[Paul Rudd]

Yeah, well, one of them. One of the. Right. One of the rights. It was originally written by Edgar Wright.

[Will Arnett]

Who I just worked with. Who's the best?

[Paul Rudd]

The best.

[Will Arnett]

I love.

[Sean Hayes]

We love Edgar. He's a. He's a friend of the show.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah. He should come on.

[Paul Rudd]

Will he adore him?

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah.

[Will Arnett]

So wait, what do you might need.

[Jason Bateman]

To be a two parter.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah, I know. There's so many things.

[Sean Hayes]

I know. But wait, get into the credits or crazy.

[Will Arnett]

I know, but. But anyway, so friendship to go. No, but it's incredible.

[Jason Bateman]

The people they launch, they want to know Paul.

[Sean Hayes]

I know. You know, they want to know about the moments and the movies. I can't believe they didn't even ask him about how years. I mean, you and Judd. You and Judd collaborated on so many of those movies that were huge, seminal comedies.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

That really defines.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

You think about at that time when you guys did 40 year old virgin, that really changed the trajectory of. Of comedy films. Like it kind of went into a start. Created a whole new lane.

[Jason Bateman]

A great Judd Apatow. He launched all kinds of folks.

[Paul Rudd]

Yeah. My. He's great. There was the first time I ever met Judd was. It was. It really is a weird thing. I don't know if you guys feel this way about those Steve Martin records. I know we've talked about them a lot, but it seems as if a lot of people in our generation. Those albums had a big effect on them.

[Sean Hayes]

Sure.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Paul Rudd]

And as did Steve Martin in general. And one time I was at a dinner and I was talking about fake names and how it's so Difficult to come up with a perfect, funny, fake name. And I said, a great example is Gern Blanston, which was from an early Steve Martin routine. And someone at the dinner said, gern Blanston. Oh, that explains Judd Apatow's email address.

[Jason Bateman]

Oh, wow.

[Paul Rudd]

And I think at this time, there was only aol. I'm like, oh, that's hilarious. Yeah. He's like, gern Blanston. I don't think he has this anymore in case anybody wants to email him. But anyway, I went home and emailed Judd. I'd never met him.

[Jason Bateman]

No way.

[Paul Rudd]

And I said, hey, man, nice reference on your email address. That's amazing. And he emailed me back, and that's how you guys started, and that's how we met. And then.

[Will Arnett]

That's amazing.

[Paul Rudd]

He emailed me back and said, oh, I'm glad you've emailed me. It's nice to connect with you. Now I know who to hit up if I ever need tickets to a new Neil Abute play, because I've just done a bunch of Neil Abute plays. Anyway, we kept emailing each other for about a year. We became kind of pen pals. Never met each other. And it wasn't until Anchorman that I actually met him in. In person.

[Will Arnett]

Wow. That's crazy.

[Sean Hayes]

Wow.

[Paul Rudd]

And when I went in to audition, he was there, and it was a little bit like, you know, meeting your. Your pen pal. That it's like, oh, my God.

[Will Arnett]

Wow.

[Paul Rudd]

I can't believe. There you are. I can touch you.

[Jason Bateman]

Been catfishing.

[Paul Rudd]

I didn't want to touch him, but being real.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah.

[Will Arnett]

Now that your character in Anchorman looks very similar to the character in Friendship. Was that on purpose?

[Paul Rudd]

No, it wasn't on purpose. Although in Friendship, in the script, the character that I was playing was originally called Brian, which was the name of my character in Anchorman. And I thought maybe we should change that name just because I also have another mustache. The mustache was just something it seemed like, oh, this is the kind of thing that this guy was. Would probably.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah, yeah, for sure. It's a weatherman. He's a weatherman. And so it's really funny. You're so good in it, and the movie is so great.

[Paul Rudd]

Well, I. I got to say, you know, Tim. It's really Tim, and it's. Tim is so funny. And I don't know if you've ever watched. I think you should leave. Which, I mean, he's.

[Sean Hayes]

He's a. He's a brilliant. Brilliant.

[Paul Rudd]

He's incredible. I mean, he really has his own take on all of this stuff. And that was just such a blast to kind of get to work with him and see what he was.

[Sean Hayes]

Have you ever. Have you ever seen his show? What is it, Detroit? Is it just called Detroiters? Yeah, it's Tim. What Detroiters? Is Robinson incredible?

[Paul Rudd]

It's incredible.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah. You would love him, Jason.

[Paul Rudd]

I remember I met him when he was a writer on snl. And, you know, everyone even at that time at SNL said, oh, well, I mean, this guy Tim Robinson's the funniest. Yeah.

[Jason Bateman]

And he directed and wrote and is an actor in this film, French hit.

[Paul Rudd]

He is starring in it. He didn't write it. It might be the only thing I think he's ever done that he didn't write. However, the guy who directed it is a guy named Andrew DeYoung.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah, he's.

[Paul Rudd]

He is. He also wrote it and he's friends with Tim and completely captures Tim's voice. I mean, when I read it, I would have sworn that Tim wrote it.

[Will Arnett]

Was there a lot of improv on the movie?

[Paul Rudd]

I mean, there was some, but, you know, it's funny. When we kind of started Tim, we were talking about it, and Tim said, let's take out all of the jokes. He wanted no jokes. And so it was very. It wasn't really like this perceived as this silly comedy. I mean, I know that Andy, the director, said that he envisioned the master, you know, the Paul Thomas Anderson movie. Seems like we could do like a weird comedy version, but very strange of. Of that. And. And so it wasn't really. There was certainly some improvisation, but. But it. You know what? Neither one of us was trying to really hit anything too funny.

[Jason Bateman]

And I apologize. Is this. Can we see this now?

[Paul Rudd]

It's coming out. Can't see it now. I think it's coming out in, I don't know, April or May or the.

[Sean Hayes]

Did Sean see it?

[Will Arnett]

I got a little screen.

[Jason Bateman]

It's a link. So depending on when this. When this airs. Connection, perhaps. Yeah. So April, May, some spring release on this, huh?

[Paul Rudd]

Yeah, spring release.

[Jason Bateman]

Like all the beautiful things that come out in spring, huh?

[Will Arnett]

Well, we're really excited about it. We're really excited about you, Paul. We love you. You're tremendous talent.

[Jason Bateman]

Excited, bullish about your career. I think you're going to do great.

[Paul Rudd]

Thank you.

[Will Arnett]

I'm so happy to be doing this.

[Paul Rudd]

And, like, it's such a. You guys are so awesome. Show is so funny. I'm so happy to. To be on.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

I mean, we broke a lean down.

[Jason Bateman]

And we Got you here.

[Paul Rudd]

No, this is. Look, Ev.

[Will Arnett]

You.

[Paul Rudd]

You. You guys have. You got a lot of people to talk to.

[Will Arnett]

I'm.

[Paul Rudd]

I'm honored to be one of them.

[Jason Bateman]

Wow. We're very, very happy that you came.

[Will Arnett]

Honored that you came.

[Jason Bateman]

Spending some Saturday.

[Paul Rudd]

Sure wish my connection was better, cuz.

[Sean Hayes]

No, no, no. Don't think twice about that.

[Paul Rudd]

Don't worry more about it.

[Sean Hayes]

I'm not say anything at Honey Hams or your WI FI connection. None of it. Don't. Don't think I'm not gonna.

[Paul Rudd]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jason Bateman]

We didn't talk about. We didn't talk about the Royals. We didn't talk about the Chiefs. We didn't talk.

[Sean Hayes]

Talk about that. By the way, you want to lose the. You really want to lose the audience? Shut up.

[Jason Bateman]

You get two U's. You get two.

[Paul Rudd]

I tell you who would. I. I tell you who would turn the volume up. Jason sedis and Claire McCaskill.

[Will Arnett]

That's who.

[Sean Hayes]

You're right.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Paul Rudd]

Tell what's. What's Bobby Wit gonna do this year?

[Sean Hayes]

And. And the great. And the great Dand is also of Kansas City fame. The great Dand's friend of the show. The great DAND of ours, Paul Rudd. Paulie, you're. Just.

[Will Arnett]

Good to see you, my friend. All the love to you and Julia and the kids.

[Sean Hayes]

You're world class tip top.

[Paul Rudd]

Thank you. You guys are the best. And I can't wait to see you in person. It can't come here soon enough.

[Jason Bateman]

We'll be able to do a candy shop soon.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah. We're gonna make. We're gonna do a smartless outing. Let's do a live show from the candy shop.

[Jason Bateman]

Oh, there we go.

[Paul Rudd]

Look, anytime you want. Clodhoppers for all of you free.

[Will Arnett]

That's a good fake name.

[Jason Bateman]

I know something. We're sweet on you, Paul.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, there it is.

[Jason Bateman]

All right.

[Sean Hayes]

Beautiful button. What a button.

[Paul Rudd]

A candy button. I'm on my way to.

[Jason Bateman]

I can only believe it.

[Will Arnett]

All right, Polly, have a great day. We love you. Goodbye.

[Paul Rudd]

Love you guys. Thanks so much.

[Will Arnett]

Yes, thanks.

[Paul Rudd]

Take care. Bye.

[Jason Bateman]

Bye, pal. Paul Rudd. Paul.

[Will Arnett]

All right.

[Jason Bateman]

What can you say?

[Sean Hayes]

I mean, we've said this before about people, but that isn't. That is an overdue of overdues.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

It's almost embarrassing how overdue.

[Will Arnett]

I feel bad. I didn't get into his stuff, you know, like all the.

[Sean Hayes]

You didn't get anything. Sean, this is one of the least prepared episodes I've ever seen you host. And. And I can't believe a Former. A former member. Jason, a former host of the year nominee. Remember yo.

[Jason Bateman]

For sure. Well, you know, but if he gets into the sugar like any little three.

[Will Arnett]

Year old you can't count on guys. I failed you again.

[Sean Hayes]

I bet they are regretting that nomination a couple years ago in that gang when they.

[Will Arnett]

Well, aren't you on that board too?

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, the iheartradio.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

No, these days I'm only bored when you're hosting, you know.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, but I, I do think if, if, if we ever soften on the repeat guest policy you guys are enforcing. Like live show.

[Sean Hayes]

He'd be a live show.

[Will Arnett]

Oh, that Good life.

[Sean Hayes]

Be a good life.

[Will Arnett]

We could just go through all its credits and talk about funny stories.

[Sean Hayes]

Funny stories.

[Will Arnett]

I love that.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, I do like that man.

[Will Arnett]

A lot. But Willie, remember when he was talking about walking in Canada and he was walking on the.

[Jason Bateman]

What was it By Here comes a by.

[Will Arnett]

He was walking on the.

[Sean Hayes]

He went to the by way.

[Paul Rudd]

Smart Nice. Smart less.

[Sean Hayes]

Smartless is 100% organic and artisanally handcrafted by Rob Armjarv, Bennett Barbico and Michael Grand. Terri Smart Less.

[Jason Bateman]

Hey, friends. Jason here. We're so excited. The smartless has officially joined the SiriusXM family. We can't wait to announ new surprise guests who we know that you'll love. If you want to be the first to hear new episodes ad free and a whole week early, subscribe to SiriusXM podcasts plus on Apple Podcasts or visit siriusxm.com podcastsplus to start your free trial today.

[Will Arnett]

This is an ad for Roundup for lawns.

[Paul Rudd]

It kills weeds down to the root.

[Will Arnett]

Without harming your lawn.

[Paul Rudd]

It works on crabgrass, dandelions, clover.

[Sean Hayes]

It works on weeds with names you can't even pronounce. Roundup for Lawns.

[Will Arnett]

When used as directed, always read and.

[Paul Rudd]

Follow pesticide label directions.

[Will Arnett]

You know that feeling when someone shows up for you just when you need it most? Yeah, I mean, we all need that.

[Jason Bateman]

That's what Uber is all about.

[Will Arnett]

Not just a ride or dinner at your door.

[Jason Bateman]

It's how Uber helps you show up.

[Will Arnett]

For the moments that matter.

[Jason Bateman]

Because showing up can turn a tough day around or make a good one even better.

[Will Arnett]

Whatever it is, big or small, Uber.

[Jason Bateman]

Is on the way, so you can be on yours.

[Will Arnett]

Uber on our way.