"RE-RELEASE: Maya Rudolph"

Summary

SmartLess Podcast Episode Summary: "RE-RELEASE: Maya Rudolph"

Introduction In the "RE-RELEASE: Maya Rudolph" episode of the "SmartLess" podcast, hosts Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, and Will Arnett welcome the multifaceted actress, comedian, and singer Maya Rudolph as their mystery guest. Released on December 12, 2024, this episode delves deep into Maya's personal life, professional journey, and her unique perspectives on comedy and drama.

Guest Introduction Sean Hayes begins by building anticipation for the guest, highlighting her comedic legacy and recent viral success with an impression of Kamala Harris. At [05:32], he reveals, “She’s Maya Rudolph,” setting the stage for an engaging and heartfelt conversation.

Maya's Personal Life and Family Maya opens up about her bustling household, humorously describing her numerous children with Paul Thomas Anderson. At [07:13], she shares, “There is nothing elastic about my lower region. Nothing. It’s basically like when you get a grocery bag and something has spilled and then everything just falls out of the bottom.” The hosts laugh as Maya discusses the challenges and joys of parenting, especially balancing her career with raising four children.

Comedy and Drama: Balancing Two Worlds A significant portion of the discussion revolves around Maya’s ability to navigate both comedy and drama. Will Arnett praises her versatility, stating at [27:44], “There is nobody who’s quicker or faster or better in the moment and can eke out, make anything funny.” Maya reflects on this balance, noting, “The little funny bits make the serious stuff real. And it’s all kind of part and parcel the same thing.”

Early Career and SNL Experiences Maya recounts her entry into "Saturday Night Live" (SNL), describing it as a "Trial by Fire." At [43:28], she explains, “I came in at the end of the 25th season... It was more like Trial by Fire.” She shares the confusion and excitement of joining an established cast and the collaborative environment with her fellow actors like Zach Galifianakis and Jerry Minor.

Memorable Moments and Collaborations Throughout the episode, the hosts reminisce about their time working with Maya on projects like "Up All Night." Sean Hayes recalls a particularly funny scene they crafted together, emphasizing Maya’s ability to elevate comedic moments effortlessly. Will Arnett adds at [32:01], “…you always bring in the element of surprise and never know what you’re gonna do.”

Balancing Career and Motherhood Maya discusses the intricacies of managing a demanding career while being a present and dedicated mother. At [38:02], she admits, “And I get weirded out all the time that I’m 48 and my mom was only 31 when she died, and I’m like, now what?” This personal reflection adds depth to her character, showcasing her vulnerability alongside her comedic prowess.

Future Aspirations and Creative Process When questioned about future projects, Maya expresses her contentment with her current roles and responsibilities. She states at [35:39], “Directing? No, directing. I absolutely don’t ever want to do.” Instead, she enjoys the creative process of writing and producing, emphasizing her passion for storytelling without the pressures of directing.

Notable Quotes

• Sean Hayes at [05:32]: “She’s Maya Rudolph.”
• Maya Rudolph at [07:13]: “There is nothing elastic about my lower region. Nothing. It’s basically like when you get a grocery bag and something has spilled and then everything just falls out of the bottom.”
• Will Arnett at [27:44]: “There is nobody who’s quicker or faster or better in the moment and can eke out, make anything funny.”
• Maya Rudolph at [32:32]: “The little funny bits make the serious stuff real. And it’s all kind of part and parcel the same thing.”
• Jason Bateman at [38:12]: “What is happening? It’s so fine.”

Conclusion The episode wraps up with heartfelt expressions of mutual respect and admiration among the hosts and Maya. Sean Hayes shares, “[Maya] is one of the comedy legends of history,” while Maya reciprocates the sentiments, highlighting the value of their enduring friendships and collaborative spirit.

Final Thoughts "RE-RELEASE: Maya Rudolph" offers listeners an intimate glimpse into Maya Rudolph’s life, blending humor with poignant reflections. The chemistry between the hosts and Maya creates a captivating narrative that underscores her impact on both comedy and drama, making this episode a must-listen for fans and newcomers alike.

Key Takeaways:

• Maya Rudolph’s Versatility: Excels in both comedic and dramatic roles, seamlessly blending the two.
• Balancing Act: Successfully manages a thriving career alongside raising a large family.
• Collaborative Spirit: Highly regarded by peers for her quick wit and ability to enhance any scene.
• Personal Reflections: Shares honest insights into her fears, aspirations, and the challenges of motherhood.

This episode of "SmartLess" not only celebrates Maya Rudolph’s achievements but also provides valuable insights into the life of a dynamic performer juggling multiple roles with grace and humor.

Transcript

[Sean Hayes]

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[Will Arnett]

Variety Raves Maria is absolute perfection in Entertainment Weekly Hails Academy Award winner Angelina Jolie brings tragedy and triumph to the last days of opera singer Maria Callas.

[Maya Rudolph]

Finally, I am in control.

[Will Arnett]

And critics agree it's a towering tour de force performance from Angelina Jolie and.

[Sean Hayes]

A career best My life is opera. There is no reason in Opera Maria.

[Will Arnett]

Directed by Pablo Laray for your consideration. Now playing it's Lech Peterson on Netflix.

[Jason Bateman]

Hello, welcome to Smartless. I am Jason Bateman, one of the less smart hosts. Even less smart is Will Arnett. And truly Dumb as Sean Hayes. We each have invited. Well, one of us invites a guest per week. The other two don't know who that person is. Some of it's going to be funny. Hopefully you won't cry and hopefully you learn a little something. So let's get started.

[Will Arnett]

Smart liars, smart lice, smart less.

[Sean Hayes]

Well, here's the sad part. You have Chumbawamba on your thing, ready to go. And it's not a joke.

[Jason Bateman]

No, it's a ringtone. Probably he's getting a call.

[Will Arnett]

I think I've been going so Chumbawamba heavy lately on the I keep going like mid conversation. Alessandra will say something. I'll just go, you know, the thing about me is I get knocked down, but I get up again. And she's like, but between that and my 10 year love affair with figuring out who let the dogs out, right?

[Jason Bateman]

But what about that? What's that crap ass band. Well, actually, I've never heard their music, but their goddamn name.

[Will Arnett]

Bon Iver.

[Jason Bateman]

Bon Iver.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, that's Bon Iver.

[Will Arnett]

First of all, Bon Iver's a great band.

[Jason Bateman]

So is it. Hang on, B, O, N, E, Y and then V, A, R or something like that?

[Will Arnett]

Yeah, that's what it is, you fucking idiot.

[Jason Bateman]

What's a bony bear? Like, what would there be like a fat bear?

[Will Arnett]

It's.

[Sean Hayes]

Wait, what song do they sing? And why? What is it?

[Will Arnett]

It's B, O, N and then space. I, V, E, R. Oh, he likes.

[Sean Hayes]

It cuz it's French. And he's like, I can speak French.

[Will Arnett]

It's not French. He's from Wisconsin. And it's this guy Justin Vernon and my friend Chris Messina who works with the band. And like.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, then they're great.

[Will Arnett]

I don't know where our guest is, but I. But I guarantee you that they like Bon Iver. I have this.

[Jason Bateman]

How much do you want to bet? How much do you want?

[Will Arnett]

Do you want to do real bet? Wait, I want 100 Canadian dollars.

[Jason Bateman]

Sean, you know who this is, so you can't chime in.

[Will Arnett]

100 Canadian dollars right now.

[Jason Bateman]

Great, so it's a $5 bet. Is that what you're saying?

[Will Arnett]

You know what, dude? That's so insulting. That's so insulting to me and to all my Canadian brethren who I'm gonna publish. I'm gonna put your address online.

[Jason Bateman]

Oh, right on, right on. Well, just give her.

[Sean Hayes]

Wait, can I tell you guys something that I was. Scotty and I were watching?

[Will Arnett]

Hey, were you just changing your diaper? What did you just pull out from your pants?

[Jason Bateman]

Why do you wear a pashbina as a diaper?

[Sean Hayes]

Because it was cold and now it's hot. I was watching Field of Dreams last night. I've never seen a movie.

[Will Arnett]

Okay, hold for applause. What are you doing? Okay.

[Sean Hayes]

No, it was really good. But I mean, it's kind of a long way to go to tell a story about playing catch with your dad. But I get it. It was sweet. You know, Scotty's like, you know, these people won Academy Awards. I don't know, they were nominated or something. And then we started having this conversation about who would we conjure up from the past that, like, if you could, who would that be for you guys? Who would be. Who would it be if.

[Will Arnett]

Hey, listen, Jason played catch with his dad at home. And by his dad, I mean the security guy at Fox. And by catch, I mean smoking butts behind stage five. But look.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, oh, God.

[Sean Hayes]

All right, well, we'll get to that later.

[Jason Bateman]

Sean, who are you so rudely keeping waiting?

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

On our little podcast today, we have a gorgeous woman, inside and out, who we all know, we're all friends with, really, and we all love. She is a light, guys. Her lineage is filled with all kinds of famous people. I'm trying to build even the slightest bit of anticipation because you're gonna know who it is. Let me try with this one, this random thing. She graduated college with a degree in photography. Can you guess who that is?

[Jason Bateman]

Annie Leibowitz.

[Sean Hayes]

That's it. She's a staple in the history of American comedy, will be remembered forever for her many contributions in film and television. She's trending so goddamn hard on social media right now because of her impression of Kamala Harris. It's Maya Rudolph.

[Will Arnett]

What?

[Jason Bateman]

Look at this.

[Will Arnett]

Pop the cork.

[Maya Rudolph]

Pop the.

[Jason Bateman]

Oh, my God.

[Maya Rudolph]

I was trying to sing Bonnie Bear. And the stocks. And the Something in the stock.

[Jason Bateman]

Okay, so wait.

[Will Arnett]

Right. How good is Bon Iver?

[Maya Rudolph]

Hang on, wait, it's. I listened to the whole thing and I felt bad for Bateman because he sounded old.

[Will Arnett]

I know. Didn't he? And now you look at him, he looks old.

[Jason Bateman]

That's fucked up. So they're less gross than the name.

[Maya Rudolph]

They're a person, I think. Right. Isn't it a person? Justin.

[Will Arnett]

It's Justin Vernon, pretty much. And he has other guys who are in the band as well. Sean Carey, who plays. But they're good friends of mine. They're great guys and they make great music.

[Sean Hayes]

Hi, Maya Rudolph.

[Will Arnett]

Hi, Maya Rudolph.

[Maya Rudolph]

Hi, guys. Thanks for being sorry for the mood lighting. I'm in a cave. It's the only quiet place at my house.

[Sean Hayes]

No, I was gonna say thank you for the mood lighting.

[Will Arnett]

I'm gonna join you.

[Maya Rudolph]

It's a wank fest.

[Will Arnett]

Welcome. Welcome to my Jack Shack.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, he was talking about that the other day, how he. You bounced that name off of you.

[Will Arnett]

Remember? I used to say that to you.

[Maya Rudolph]

Did you finally build your Jack Shack?

[Sean Hayes]

He's in it right now.

[Jason Bateman]

Look at him.

[Maya Rudolph]

I can smile.

[Sean Hayes]

And a guru.

[Maya Rudolph]

And no pantalones.

[Jason Bateman]

Now, Maya, the reason you're looking for quiet is because there are 6, 17 kids. 18 kids over there. Right?

[Maya Rudolph]

Good for you. Good for you. I like to pop them out. There is nothing elastic about my lower region. Nothing. It's basically like when you get a grocery bag and something has spilled and then everything just falls out of the bottom.

[Jason Bateman]

So the bottom got too saturated.

[Maya Rudolph]

Yeah.

[Jason Bateman]

And now it's useless to you. So kids are falling out daily.

[Maya Rudolph]

Falling out daily.

[Sean Hayes]

Do your kids love that description of how they came into the world?

[Maya Rudolph]

My son. Well, my son thinks that he came out of my butt. Cause he saw like a birth video. So we like to keep it that way.

[Will Arnett]

My son said the other day, little Abel said the other day, he was in the backseat. Archie and I were arguing about the genesis of this is terrible parenting of Grand Theft Auto Games and which one came first in GTA 5. And Abel's in the backseat. Hey, Abe, real quick, could you Wikipedia? And he cuts me off and he goes, how babies are made. You got it.

[Jason Bateman]

He's got that on his favorites. It's just a one button. You know, Maya, your husband did describe having a bunch of kids running around the house. He says, it's so great. Use a better word. It's like having a fire burning in each room. It's all warm and cozy. Oh, wow.

[Sean Hayes]

He said that?

[Maya Rudolph]

He said that?

[Jason Bateman]

Well, he's a bit of a poet.

[Maya Rudolph]

I thought he was going to tell the Jim Gaffigan joke about how it's like. Because Jim Gaffigan has five, right? And I think his joke was having a fifth kid is like swimming in a pool and you're drowning and someone hands you a baby. It's a bit overwhelming. I have to say that being in quarantine with four kids is great because I would be very depressed if I was not very busy. It would be a lot more quiet and depressing.

[Will Arnett]

Look at Sean.

[Maya Rudolph]

Yeah, look at Sean.

[Sean Hayes]

I just got up.

[Will Arnett]

Sean is so low right now. He's so low, he'd have to rally to die. That's how low.

[Maya Rudolph]

How many books is your computer on right now? Is yo computer on?

[Sean Hayes]

My computer is actually on a stand right now, but I like to say the books behind me on the shelf. I've read every single one of those jackets.

[Jason Bateman]

Nice boy.

[Will Arnett]

Who do you say that to? To Scotty or.

[Sean Hayes]

I say to anybody who listen.

[Maya Rudolph]

But he says it to all the living members of Chumbawamba.

[Jason Bateman]

Maya, are those kids old enough to help out around the house, or are they just asking you to help them find things to do?

[Sean Hayes]

Because that is the only reason Jason had children, right?

[Jason Bateman]

I just. I can't keep them entertained.

[Maya Rudolph]

Do you have any teenagers yet?

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, I got a 13 year old and an 8 year old.

[Maya Rudolph]

The problem with the teen part is I feel really badly for them because they want to be social. But then I don't want them to be on their fucking devices all day long.

[Jason Bateman]

But then you gotta Talk to them. If they're off the device, then you have to talk to them.

[Maya Rudolph]

It's killing me. And I also feel lesser.

[Jason Bateman]

The two evils is just a thicker data plan, right?

[Maya Rudolph]

Yeah. Oh, I thought you meant dad plan.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah, let's let Bateman keep talking. Let him hang himself. Keep going. Dude, what is it?

[Jason Bateman]

One teenager or two teenagers?

[Maya Rudolph]

I have one teenager. She's 14.

[Jason Bateman]

The others are.

[Maya Rudolph]

I have no idea. No, 10, nine and seven. Almost 11. Nine and seven.

[Jason Bateman]

Is the 14 year old a nightmare? Has she found her sass yet? At 14?

[Maya Rudolph]

No, she's not a nightmare. She's the opposite. So I feel really bad because she's a nice person.

[Sean Hayes]

It's Pearl, right?

[Maya Rudolph]

Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

I love her.

[Jason Bateman]

Don't show off, Sean. Oh, you know, we all have Google.

[Maya Rudolph]

Sean is godparent to all of my children.

[Jason Bateman]

Is that true?

[Maya Rudolph]

No.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah. And like my dad, I've never shown up for them.

[Jason Bateman]

Are you guys godparents to any?

[Maya Rudolph]

No, I am. I don't even. I don't know what that means. What does it mean?

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, I don't either, because I think. I think I.

[Sean Hayes]

Well, we are. We're actually very active godparents. Me and Scotty to Jonah and Sammy, Carrie Aisley's children.

[Maya Rudolph]

You are?

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah. And so. And we're very active. And legally, it's just somebody in the highly unlikely and hopeful never happening case where something happens to them. We are the legal guardians, right?

[Will Arnett]

I don't think that's always the case.

[Maya Rudolph]

It's not a religious thing.

[Will Arnett]

It used to be a religious thing, and I think now it's much more of a. Just sort of a custom thing that you do do. And b, listen, should we be godparents to each other's kids just out of.

[Jason Bateman]

No, no, we're all set.

[Will Arnett]

I'm good. You want to send over the paperwork?

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, yeah, no, Amanda's got it handled, bro. We're all good. How about a question for Maya?

[Will Arnett]

You don't even know what's for dinner.

[Sean Hayes]

Maya's actually the godparent to Scotty.

[Maya Rudolph]

I am?

[Jason Bateman]

Does she powder and swaddle him?

[Maya Rudolph]

Yes, I do.

[Sean Hayes]

Maya, I have to say a couple things.

[Maya Rudolph]

One is I love you, too.

[Sean Hayes]

I do. I really do love you. And I miss you. And I feel like I never see you. I love you, too.

[Maya Rudolph]

I don't ever see you.

[Sean Hayes]

I know it's. It's wrong, but the first of all, I have to say the thing that we all know but not everybody knows, which is that your mom is Minnie Ripperton, who sang Love. And you.

[Maya Rudolph]

I was so surprised that you threw in the lineage thing. These dudes are like, who? What?

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah. I don't even know. Bonnie Berries.

[Will Arnett]

Come on.

[Sean Hayes]

Your grandfather owned all the Wendy's in like Florida or something?

[Maya Rudolph]

Yes.

[Sean Hayes]

Isn't that crazy?

[Jason Bateman]

Hang on.

[Maya Rudolph]

Sidney Rudolph.

[Sean Hayes]

Free burgers for life or.

[Maya Rudolph]

So supposedly my grandfather and his brother were these big time business boys back in the day. And he came up with this idea for a company called Trip Charge. And where it was like you could get a card and charge it when you were on a trip. This was before the credit card was invented. And it was such a great idea that he sold the idea to Diners Club. Way to go, Sid Rudolph.

[Jason Bateman]

Is Diners Club still around?

[Maya Rudolph]

I don't know. But I guess he straight up gave him the idea for the. For the credit card.

[Jason Bateman]

So Diners Club was just for restaurants? Is that what it was?

[Maya Rudolph]

That's a great question. I don't know. I don't know if it was like a traveler's check situation for going on.

[Jason Bateman]

Do you remember those travelers checks?

[Will Arnett]

Travelers checks? Carte blanche. Remember? Carte blanche was the thing for carte blanche. It's similar to like Diners Club.

[Maya Rudolph]

I thought it was like, oh, carte blanche. And you just say it.

[Will Arnett]

I like. I like. Speaking of the Rudolphs, how is your dad?

[Maya Rudolph]

He's good. Are you asking about my sweet dad? Isn't my dad the best?

[Will Arnett]

He's so sweet.

[Maya Rudolph]

He's that guy my whole life that people ask me about. I just got another one today. Look at Bateman. Bateman's like, I don't know your dad. What happened? Why don't I get to meet your dad?

[Will Arnett]

Her dad is such a cool guy. And you would be well served. This is like the bon iver thing. You would be well served to take that scowl off your face.

[Jason Bateman]

That's my rest face. Now I have a heavy brow. I need a lift. Yeah, but I am talking a lot about this. I constantly look like I've just said. What did you say? Yeah, that's my rest face.

[Maya Rudolph]

Yeah, mine too.

[Will Arnett]

Are you just coming to terms with.

[Jason Bateman]

Just to get to regular, I have to pretend I've just said, oh, I see. That's what I have. That lifts things up to where center is.

[Maya Rudolph]

I think it's from years of being funny and years of emoting and now your skin is relaxing into itself. I have developed really gnarly eye bags. And I think it's from years of rubber face.

[Will Arnett]

Me too.

[Jason Bateman]

Maya, maybe you and I can find a doctor that can just cinch us up in all the places.

[Maya Rudolph]

Does eyes and vaginas. Yeah, yeah.

[Jason Bateman]

There's probably somebody in the valley somewhere.

[Maya Rudolph]

They're kind of similar. They're similar areas. Get your eyes and vaginas done here.

[Jason Bateman]

That's like shampooch and shampooch.

[Will Arnett]

Shampooch and shampooch.

[Maya Rudolph]

That was Ali's shampooch and shampooch.

[Will Arnett]

Shampooch. And in the back you get shampooch.

[Sean Hayes]

My hair's a very dark, dark story.

[Will Arnett]

But hang on. Before you get into this, I do want to say this. I want to, but I went on.

[Maya Rudolph]

A date with Ali.

[Will Arnett]

You went on a date with Ali? Wait, this is.

[Sean Hayes]

What do you mean?

[Maya Rudolph]

I went on a date with Ali in New York, and he took me to see Puppetry of the Penis. Do you remember that show?

[Sean Hayes]

Wait, yes. I saw it in England. It was terrible. Wait, Ali? Who's Ali?

[Maya Rudolph]

Ali Farnakian.

[Will Arnett]

Larry Farnakian. He's a funny guy. He's the guy who came up with Shampooch and Shampooch. Married with a couple kids, and we.

[Maya Rudolph]

Used to pass and both named Shampooch and Shampoochampooch.

[Will Arnett]

And we used to pass Puppetry of the Penis all the time on the way home on 7th Avenue. And then we used to also. Amy and I used to always pass and we'd always say to each other that my favorite title for a play ever was I love you. You're perfect. Now change.

[Maya Rudolph]

Oh, my God.

[Sean Hayes]

I saw Puppetry of the Penis. I thought it was going to be, like this brilliant thing. It was just guys playing with dicks on stage.

[Maya Rudolph]

So painful and awful looking. A lot of stretching of skin.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah.

[Jason Bateman]

Wait, so there was actual frontal nudity all the way through it?

[Maya Rudolph]

Yeah.

[Jason Bateman]

Really?

[Will Arnett]

Are they cut or uncut?

[Maya Rudolph]

They were. Well, they're Australian, so.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah.

[Will Arnett]

So uncut.

[Jason Bateman]

Uncut. So snooders.

[Maya Rudolph]

Wait, what?

[Jason Bateman]

It's a snutter, right?

[Maya Rudolph]

It's called a snutter?

[Jason Bateman]

I believe so, if it still has its little turtleneck.

[Maya Rudolph]

I'm a disgusting, foul person, and I've never heard that term.

[Will Arnett]

What about aardvark? We skull them. Aardvark.

[Maya Rudolph]

Yeah, sure. Aardvark is standard.

[Will Arnett]

I love the idea that Bateman goes in to get a facelift and the doctor says, no, just do the surprise face morph.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah. And could you take care of my snuts?

[Maya Rudolph]

How many snutters do you have?

[Jason Bateman]

I've got three penises.

[Will Arnett]

Sean, I cut you off 10 minutes ago.

[Sean Hayes]

You cut me off 10 years ago. But that's okay.

[Maya Rudolph]

Hi.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, no, I was just gonna tell a story about my mom who passed away, like two or three years ago, God rest her soul. Best mom in the whole wide world. Darkest sense of humor. That's why it's okay to tell this story. She would even laugh at this. And so when she was two years old, she had cancer and they removed her eye, the entire eye out of her socket.

[Maya Rudolph]

I knew that.

[Sean Hayes]

And it wasn't until she passed away that I found her old medical records from when she was a kid and realized and learned that they took skin from around her vagina to reshape her eye socket. Which was kind of astonishing back then. But, you know, I share this story with a friend of mine and he said, wait a minute, you're just telling me this now? The whole time I knew her, I could have fucked her in the eye.

[Maya Rudolph]

Oh, my gosh.

[Will Arnett]

I thought you were going to say. I thought you were going to say to her, everybody looked like a cunt.

[Maya Rudolph]

Oh, my God, it's brilliant.

[Jason Bateman]

That's better than everything I was working on. I had tear duct stuff and.

[Maya Rudolph]

Oh, my God.

[Will Arnett]

Okay, okay, okay.

[Jason Bateman]

Maya, I'm so sorry.

[Maya Rudolph]

This is an X rated show, right?

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, no, we're gonna kick that out. So listen.

[Maya Rudolph]

God, that's really funny.

[Sean Hayes]

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[Jason Bateman]

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[Sean Hayes]

So I want to ask you seriously, back to Minnie, your mom, your dad produced that record from your mom, right?

[Maya Rudolph]

Yeah, they wrote. They wrote a bunch of songs together and stuff.

[Sean Hayes]

So another common question, and I'm sorry, but I think you and your Did I get laid?

[Maya Rudolph]

Yes, I did.

[Will Arnett]

Did I get laid?

[Sean Hayes]

But did you? Because you have a great singing voice too. Did you ever want to do albums and all that and sing and perform like that?

[Maya Rudolph]

I think the performing part, yes, but the singing part. I knew very early on that I did not have the vocal range of my mother.

[Sean Hayes]

Well, because you were surrounded by music the whole time.

[Maya Rudolph]

Yeah, musical. But I don't, but I don't have that kind of a. I mean when the standard is like a seven octave range, you're sort of like, I'm good, but I like, I Like making music. I do like making music. I think now that I'm almost 50, I'll probably start publicly making music. Now that I'm not as afraid as I used to be.

[Jason Bateman]

How does one start? Is it like you start with jingles or.

[Maya Rudolph]

Yeah, you know, like you write songs about lettuce. You're like, here we come.

[Jason Bateman]

Light and free, cold and crispy.

[Maya Rudolph]

That's the way it should be. Crispy. Crispy, too. That's right, Bateman.

[Jason Bateman]

Swallow it down. Firm yourself.

[Will Arnett]

Baby brand lettuce. The crispier.

[Sean Hayes]

Maya, do any of your kids want to do, like, open their mouths and make sounds that sound like music?

[Maya Rudolph]

They're very. They all seem to want to be filmmakers, so that's definitely happening because your.

[Sean Hayes]

Husband or your partner is Paul Thomas Anderson.

[Maya Rudolph]

All of the above. He's all of those things. And, you know, and they have imovie, so they make a lot of movies all the time, which is pretty damn.

[Jason Bateman]

Cute, all four of them.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, that's great.

[Jason Bateman]

Truly.

[Will Arnett]

When my. When Archie was born, the night he was born was a Saturday night. And of course, Amy didn't make the show that night.

[Maya Rudolph]

We were supposed to do a Bronx beat. That night.

[Will Arnett]

We were supposed to do a Bronx.

[Sean Hayes]

You talking about Amy Poehler from Saturday Night Live? As your ex wife, don't forget.

[Maya Rudolph]

Well, your OB died.

[Will Arnett]

Our OB died the day before, so the day that. The day. Wait, what? So it was the first time Hamm was hosting snl. Do you remember? So Hamm was hosting and I was pickup ob. They were shooting Jon Hamm. Sean is like a. Is like an audio chiron.

[Sean Hayes]

And you know what? And here's the thing, by the way, I have to jump in. So my sister and all her friends live in Wisconsin and they listen to these podcasts and she's like, I don't know what they're talking about. Half the time. They're throwing about names. So that's why I'm plugging in all these names, because they. You know what?

[Will Arnett]

My advice to your sister is? Move. Okay, so anyway. Anyway, that's fair enough. That's fair enough. So Jon Hamm, first time he's hosting. So we go and we're supposed to go to this doctor's appointment and the OB dies. He dies that day.

[Sean Hayes]

Are you being serious? That's crazy.

[Will Arnett]

That's what. Yeah, so he was old.

[Maya Rudolph]

He was old.

[Will Arnett]

He was very old.

[Jason Bateman]

So why was she seeing a guy on his death's doorstep? Did she get a deal on him or something like that? I mean, you feel like you get an OB GYN that's got a few more years, a little more vibrant.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah. So anyway, so we go.

[Maya Rudolph]

Sometimes you want. Sometimes you want the best. You go. You go. You go to the quality.

[Will Arnett]

This guy had delivered. This is not a bit. The big thing was he had delivered Sophia Lorenz baby.

[Jason Bateman]

Oh, my God.

[Will Arnett]

Back in the day, one of her. Whatever. And that was great. In, like, 19. Beautiful baby.

[Maya Rudolph]

That was a beautiful baby.

[Will Arnett]

What a baby. But then apparently he forgot about it. But anyway, look. So anyway, we go in and Archie is born, and we turn on the show that night, and he's a couple hours old. And Maya sang a song.

[Maya Rudolph]

Oh, yeah. Keenan and I. Keenan and I sang a song for little baby Archie.

[Jason Bateman]

Really? Live.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, that's so nice.

[Jason Bateman]

Wow.

[Maya Rudolph]

I'm nice sometimes, Sean. I really am.

[Sean Hayes]

Well, that's not coming through.

[Maya Rudolph]

Uh. Oh, sorry.

[Sean Hayes]

You are the nicest. I love you to death, you know that?

[Maya Rudolph]

I love you, too.

[Sean Hayes]

I want to ask you some more stuff, but can I go to snl, Which I know you're probably sick of talking about, but. Or maybe you're not, but I. I'm cool. I hosted your first year of snl. I was a host during your first year.

[Maya Rudolph]

Oh, I remember.

[Sean Hayes]

And even then, I was like. As I was hosting, I was like, who is this master of comedy? This girl I just. Who I'm falling in love with so quickly without as much as a date.

[Maya Rudolph]

I remember the Facts of Life sketch so well that you put up, and it was Mrs. Garrett stuck a carrot up her butt and that's why her hair's so red. Keeps singing, these are the facts of life.

[Sean Hayes]

I can't believe you remember that. That is insane.

[Maya Rudolph]

Because I couldn't stop singing it afterwards. Missing Garrett stuck up her butt in this wild hair so red.

[Will Arnett]

Keeps singing.

[Sean Hayes]

But it's got. It's got. Wait, it's got. Wait, it's got a bunch of verses of life. These are the facts of life. It was.

[Will Arnett]

Who wrote that lyric?

[Maya Rudolph]

He did.

[Sean Hayes]

Me and Raina got super stoned, and Raina's a friend of mine and wrote this entire song called the Facts of Life, and it went through.

[Will Arnett]

Rain is a friend of Sean's who's a cook and who's a very good friend of Sean. Sorry. Keep going.

[Jason Bateman]

That's for Wisconsin. Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

You're such an asshole. All right, so wait. So back to snl. So when you were there, and I know everybody asked this, but for anybody who's not, who's never been part of the institution of comedy, you know, that creates legends like you are now. And, yes, you are. Thank you, Sean. You're welcome, Maya.

[Maya Rudolph]

No one said anything.

[Sean Hayes]

Everyone always asks.

[Jason Bateman]

I did want to cut him off again because I feel like he might land the plane at some point during the fucking podcast. But I did want to say, you are comedy royalty to me. If anyone was listening to anything I've said over the last 20 years. I reference you all the time. When you talk about. Everybody does a certain level of sophistication in comedy, I will say, like, Maya Rudolph, and people go, oh, I get it. No, I swear to God, if you're.

[Maya Rudolph]

Only saying this for me being here today, I do appreciate it.

[Sean Hayes]

It's so true. Maya, you know how I feel. You are one of the comedy legends of history.

[Jason Bateman]

For true people get it. It's a very efficient, economical way to say, oh, you would like some smart laughs. Got it.

[Maya Rudolph]

Wow, that's a pretty large compliment. Thank you, my friend.

[Jason Bateman]

It is absolutely true.

[Will Arnett]

But I think that what Jason's getting to. Not only are you known for that, but I will say that as somebody who has worked with you a bunch over the years, and Sean can attest to this too. And the three of us did work together as well. There is nobody who's quicker or faster or better in the moment and can eke out, make anything funny. Even if the scene is terrible and you want to throw it out and then find it in the trash and throw it out again because it's so bad. You have the ability to make every. You bring just. You always bring the element. And this is, I think, the real. The sort of the trademark of somebody is really funny. You always bring in the element of surprise and never know what you're gonna do. And it's so. Every time, it's so awesome. I always feel it's exciting doing a scene with you.

[Maya Rudolph]

This is why getting old is great, because we all remember things a lot less than what really happened. So your memories, all of your memories of our time together are so vain.

[Jason Bateman]

The humility and the deflection.

[Maya Rudolph]

I love it.

[Jason Bateman]

No, this is part of the intelligence.

[Maya Rudolph]

But honestly, it is nice to appreciate. I will get honest for a moment. It's nice to appreciate each other as we. As we age, isn't it? It's nice to have had fun together. Cause my thing, once I started having kids and having to go to work, I realized, like, oh, I have to actually like what I'm doing today or I'm gonna wanna kill myself. Because it's so depressing when you Hate your job, and you've left your beautiful babies at home. So all the time that I've spent with you guys and out in the world and doing things, I cherish those times because all I did was laugh my ass off.

[Sean Hayes]

I remember. I remember there's this one scene that you and I were in in the show called Up All Night that Will was also in with Christina Applegate. And those are my reference points.

[Will Arnett]

Will and sir, what network was it on? Just. People don't know.

[Jason Bateman]

This was about the coke addicts. Right?

[Sean Hayes]

So. And Maya, there was a scene where it wasn't quite there yet, with just the rehearsal and the writing and us acting, and we just were trying.

[Maya Rudolph]

And I kept saying, is it in?

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, Right? And I said. I said. I said, if you can't feel it by now, it's never gonna be. And we crafted the scene in such a way that we finally got it there. And then when we shot it, you made, like. To Will's point, you made it so funny, I couldn't breathe. Laughing at it wasn't a highlight.

[Maya Rudolph]

Oh, was it that Halloween thing where we were supposed to be dead or something? We were pretending to laugh.

[Sean Hayes]

Sorry.

[Maya Rudolph]

Gotcha.

[Sean Hayes]

But, okay, so here's the thing. But now you've accomplished something that.

[Maya Rudolph]

God, you really did your homework, Sean. What's happening?

[Jason Bateman]

This is the obligation of the host, of the person who invites the guest. They need to be the adult. They need to have the questions, and then the other two idiots get to just throw bombs from the sidelines.

[Maya Rudolph]

So that's me and Will inside of you, Sean.

[Sean Hayes]

Well, it's comforting, isn't it? It's welcome. But, like, to your point, if you.

[Jason Bateman]

Tighten it up, it is so.

[Will Arnett]

Bye.

[Sean Hayes]

Okay, listen. Listen to me. Now. You've accomplished something, and now I'm going to compliment these other two jerks. You've accomplished something that even Jason will have accomplished. And I wanted to talk about this. You all came onto the scene as actors who excel in comedy, and that's kind of what made you famous in the world. And you all have expanded your repertoire in kind of like crushing the dramatic work as well. Like, I even told Jason on Ozark, it's the best work I've ever seen him do. He's incredible on the show. And when he cries, I cry.

[Jason Bateman]

Very nice of you. Thank you.

[Maya Rudolph]

Look, his face hasn't changed.

[Sean Hayes]

But you both. You both excelled at the drama work, too. And I know that's hard to accomplish, but what's really hard to accomplish, and you guys have all done it which is to hold on to a sense of where you came from and acknowledging your comedic roots. Because I feel that a lot of people who are famous because of comedy immediately take themselves too seriously and then lose themselves in the journey to prove that they're more than that. And in doing so, sometimes they fail. I mean, sure. Do you. Do you know what I mean?

[Maya Rudolph]

I think so.

[Jason Bateman]

I was guilty of that first season of Ozark. I had the head writer, showrunner, cut out all the comedy that he put. It wasn't a ton of comedy, but there were some things that were. And I was like. So, like, people have to know that this is. This is a. This is a drama. You know, they're gonna think that there's a. It's a comedy. Cause I'm in it.

[Sean Hayes]

It is a drama.

[Jason Bateman]

Well, exactly. But like a great writer does. Throws in moments of levity to, you know, and so I got less precious about that in the second season, and I. And people really like that about his writing and the third season as well. So I got.

[Will Arnett]

And that was the second season is when they calling you precious on set, right?

[Sean Hayes]

Yep.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah. Yeah, that was the end of that. Figured out what was causing it and put an end to it.

[Will Arnett]

I was gonna say, I mean, you guys all know. I mean, comedy is just infinitely more difficult than drama over time, to be consistently, you know, funny, it's much harder than.

[Sean Hayes]

Well, dying is easy. Comedy is hard. I mean, I have to teach him all these old ways.

[Jason Bateman]

Did you come up with that? Holy shit.

[Maya Rudolph]

I mean, Jesus, we should give you an award.

[Jason Bateman]

Unreal. Write it down real quick. You're sitting at a desk.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, I did. That's why I just read it off my page.

[Maya Rudolph]

The truth is that. Yeah. I mean, what you're saying, Will, is what I feel is like, you know, at a certain point you realize how also the comedy and the drama is few and far between. And you realize how serious and depressed you really are as a comedian internally. And then like, it's all kind of part and parcel the same thing. So all the little funny bits make the serious stuff real. And it's all kind of.

[Will Arnett]

I like that movie you did with Krasinski, where you guys were. It was funny, but John had dramatic moments. John Krasinski from the Office. Jesus.

[Maya Rudolph]

He was on the Office.

[Will Arnett]

He was on the Office, Wisconsin.

[Jason Bateman]

And Sam Mendes directed.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah, you guys, that was a great. And I. I said this when we made our little show, Flake, that not a lot of people saw that was on Netflix. But I used to say people Say, was it a comedy drama? I'm like, I don't know. When I wake up in the morning, you don't go, like, today's gonna be a comedy day.

[Maya Rudolph]

Exactly.

[Will Arnett]

Or today's gonna be a drama day. I wanted it to feel like a representation of what a life experience is.

[Maya Rudolph]

I mean, other than like Mel Brooks's house. I don't know that most comedy households are always funny, right?

[Jason Bateman]

No, they're probably real quiet.

[Maya Rudolph]

They're probably really dark.

[Sean Hayes]

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[Jason Bateman]

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[Sean Hayes]

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[Jason Bateman]

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[Will Arnett]

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[Sean Hayes]

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[Will Arnett]

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[Jason Bateman]

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[Will Arnett]

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[Jason Bateman]

Distributor Now, Maya, with all the years of experience that you have and the clear understanding obviously, of the nuance of comedy as well as drama, do you have any desire to write anything long form or direct anything long form and kind of be the person that navigates all that stuff?

[Maya Rudolph]

Directing? No, directing. I absolutely don't ever want to do. And I think it's the, the amount of responsibility that's required that makes me feel, like, itchy and hot. Like, knowing that I have to make sure you've got this covered. It's like being the host of a party and making sure everybody's happy. I don't think that's in my nature, and I'm okay with that. That's why I live with a director. I don't want to be one, but I honestly enjoy the producerial side of giving my opinion, putting my time in. I mean, I feel like I'm all, I'm gonna be a forever writer in the way that I sort of just like haphazardly became a writer at snl because they just make you write. You don't have a choice. And no one really says, hey, you're a writer now. You're just like, I'm writing my sketches. I don't have a choice. And it's really the only way to survive. So I think create. I'll continue to create what I do. But the directing part, I like to sit down and eat my lunch. You know, I don't.

[Jason Bateman]

I like to be a guest at the party, not host it.

[Maya Rudolph]

It's so stressful. And I love when people love doing it, and I love to be a part of that. But I feel like there was a point in my life where I thought, like, I'm gonna do this and I'm gonna do that. And then once I started realizing I don't. I'm not good at everything, and that's okay. I'm sort of like, yeah, there's no, there's no shame in that game.

[Will Arnett]

My recollection of Maya on Up All Night is just like, we'd be shooting, shooting all day and be like, lunch. And then her dressing room was next to Maya. And then knock on the door and be like, are we still shooting that scene after lunch? I mean, are we done with that? I'd be feeling the same way. I'd be like, I don't know. We both had little kids, and I'm like, I don't know.

[Maya Rudolph]

I was nursing, Remember? I was nursing, right? Like, the baby was in the room. I was pumping and I was sweating all the time.

[Will Arnett]

Was Jack, who was just born.

[Maya Rudolph]

It was Jack, Yeah. He just turned nine.

[Sean Hayes]

I want to ask you a serious question. I don't know if I'm going to get through it with my co host, but here we go.

[Will Arnett]

Okay, and hang on, let me get the stopwatch. And go.

[Sean Hayes]

Your mom so sadly passed away when you were younger. I think you were 6, 7, 8 years old. Something like that.

[Maya Rudolph]

In the wheelhouse. Yes.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, in that wheelhouse. And so. And you're such an incredible mom, as I've seen firsthand. It always seems like your children comes first, which is the correct thing to do and before anything else. And you're always present, and it's what every kid wants. But does any part of you, when you were starting to have kids, like. And did you have one of those real human fears of, oh, my God, what if what happened to me happens to my children and I'm not around? Is that gonna happen?

[Maya Rudolph]

And, oh, I'm still not sure that I'm doing this correctly. And I get weirded out all the time that I'm 48 and my mom was only 31 when she died, and I'm like, now what? How did I get to be older than my mother? It's so crazy. I don't know how the hell. We're all adults to begin with, let alone responsible for other people and in relationships and families. It's crazy.

[Jason Bateman]

What's your perfect ratio of perfect mate? Your perfect ratio of work to parenting? What are you doing today, aside from this?

[Maya Rudolph]

That's a great question. I appreciate that question. I'm going to do a little voiceover work. Work later on this afternoon for.

[Will Arnett]

Who are you working for?

[Maya Rudolph]

I'm working for a wonderful production called Bless the Hearts by our friend Emily Spivey.

[Will Arnett]

Oh, bless the heart.

[Maya Rudolph]

Up the night with. And are they looking for any new.

[Will Arnett]

Characters or.

[Maya Rudolph]

Really good. Damn, it was sexy, but also a little bit scary.

[Will Arnett]

Ooh, this guy.

[Maya Rudolph]

And a little. A little bit sad, like, a little bit like.

[Will Arnett]

Well, you know why? Cause. Cause he's Had a few. Even though it's Wednesday. He said he wouldn't, but he did.

[Maya Rudolph]

I thought he was constipated. He sounds like, oh, he had a few. He sounds like he needs water when.

[Will Arnett]

Ain'T nobody was looking. He had a few.

[Jason Bateman]

Or he's a self asphyxiator there in the Jack Shack.

[Maya Rudolph]

Oh, boy. You know what's funny? I did write, in the time that we've been on this, I did write a theme song for the Jack Shack and it's called Jack Shack. Shacking it up Jack Shack. You can shack it. Jack Shack. Shacking it up. Shack, shack. Shagging it up Shack.

[Will Arnett]

Get your jack on.

[Sean Hayes]

I love the end. Shagging it up Shack.

[Jason Bateman]

I wish we had an animated portion of this show that we could just.

[Will Arnett]

It'd be so good.

[Maya Rudolph]

Shack, Shack.

[Will Arnett]

Maya used to do this character. We were going to do a video and I was going to be this character.

[Maya Rudolph]

Oh, pop the cork.

[Will Arnett]

Pop the cork. And I was DJ Metro. It's just a French and it's just Maya and she's in. Just like she's in Saint Tropez and she's in, you know, Italy.

[Maya Rudolph]

I like to celebrate. Pop the cork.

[Will Arnett]

Pop the cork.

[Maya Rudolph]

We would just say, like London. Pop the cork. Dubai, Papa Israel.

[Jason Bateman]

I want to see you doing all these characters every week again. Damn it. What?

[Maya Rudolph]

I know I should answer your question because you bring something up, which is that I. I do every once in a while, I'll go, God, I should do that show. Or I should. When we were asking about creating and stuff like, oh, yeah, I should create this show. And then I'm like, what am I saying? Then I'll never be home. I can't do that. But I'm lucky enough to have a lot of talented friends. And I'll do like a little bit here and a little bit there and a little bit and that.

[Jason Bateman]

And that's plenty for you. That's enough.

[Maya Rudolph]

It's plenty. Sometimes I spread myself too thin and then every once in a while say, no. Now I'm ready to get back in the saddle and do it. But I also like to go home sometimes.

[Jason Bateman]

Have you been courageous enough to play with the idea of an empty nest at some point, sometime deep, deep in the future? I say that because I have and it just as much as I am, I love to be out and working. I love my kids. I love that they are here. And I think I'm going to be a mess when they go to college.

[Maya Rudolph]

For sure.

[Jason Bateman]

You have that times too, right? Because I got two Kids, you got four.

[Maya Rudolph]

Yeah. And like when. What? You know that, like when one of the kids isn't home and they're at a friend's house or something, you feel like there's no one here. The house is so quiet and it's such a strange. Yeah. I don't know. I don't know what I'm gonna do, but maybe that's a good time to, you know, move back to New York and start all over again.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, there you go.

[Maya Rudolph]

Go see Puppetry of the Penis with Ali and.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah. Just do some sort of a sequel to Puppetry of the Penis. What would that be called? Huh?

[Sean Hayes]

I wanna go back to the question I had about. We'll come back on that 30 minutes ago.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah, Sean, definitely, definitely tee up.

[Jason Bateman]

Another real question.

[Will Arnett]

Go ahead, Sean.

[Jason Bateman]

What's number two?

[Sean Hayes]

I wanna know because I wan know these things.

[Will Arnett]

Like I know you do. And you know what, by the way. Yeah, good for you.

[Sean Hayes]

Thanks, guys.

[Maya Rudolph]

I know it's very responsible. I feel like it is very responsible. You brought me in and you were like, I have to ask her real questions or she's.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, Otherwise it's like there's. They're just bits which I love.

[Maya Rudolph]

I don't care. You don't have to ask me anything real. Listen, you can ask me anything you want.

[Sean Hayes]

I love it. And so I want to know how you feel about me. No, I want to know. So I want to know, like. Because way back 30 minutes ago when I was talking about Saturday Night Live and how you've helped create that institution that it is, everybody wants to know, what was it like getting the gig that you always dreamed of getting? Like, what was it like the first week. Is it like the first week of school? And were you nervous and like, how did you navigate around that?

[Maya Rudolph]

That was crazy. Cause I came in at the end of the 25th season and I had this really lame situation where I listened to like a bad manager. I was so young. And she said, don't audition. The new contracts are really binding. And I went, oh, okay. Like a fucking idiot. And so I did an audition and then, long story short, I was lucky enough that they asked me to come and do the last three shows. So it was more like Trial by Fire. But it was the end of the season, so everyone knew each other already. It was like joining a school year with three weeks left. So I didn't know anybody and everybody knew where to sit in the cafeteria. Kind of feeling. It just felt really bad and scary.

[Jason Bateman]

I didn't know that you did not audition?

[Maya Rudolph]

No.

[Jason Bateman]

So you were you a part of the writing staff and they wanted to put you then on camera?

[Maya Rudolph]

No, it was really confusing. It wasn't clear. They brought me and Zach Galifianakis, and I think it was Jerry Minor. I think we were the three people that they brought out for these. This three week trial period. But Zach and I didn't know what was going on. Zach said they brought me. He had auditioned and he said, like, they brought me out, but they were just auditioning him as a writer. And he was really like, I don't know what's happening. We were a little bit confused.

[Will Arnett]

Did Zach do the show?

[Maya Rudolph]

He wrote for three weeks. He and I shared an office and we were both, like, scratching our heads.

[Sean Hayes]

Like, I didn't know that either.

[Maya Rudolph]

What are we doing?

[Sean Hayes]

See you assholes. It's good. I ask questions like that.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, it is good. You know what, Sean? Great question.

[Will Arnett]

Great question.

[Jason Bateman]

Sean, can you string two together?

[Sean Hayes]

Well, that seems like it's very difficult.

[Jason Bateman]

I can't believe we've gotten to 30 minutes in and we haven't asked you whether you're excited or dreading the whole Kamala Harris for the next probably 12 years.

[Maya Rudolph]

Can I just say, wouldn't that be a nice problem to have?

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, God, yes.

[Maya Rudolph]

Instead of this fucking shit pile of shit of shit mountain that we're living.

[Will Arnett]

In, we just had her on the show.

[Maya Rudolph]

You did?

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah.

[Will Arnett]

Literally the day before it was announced that she was on the ticket with Barney.

[Maya Rudolph]

She's pretty fantastic.

[Jason Bateman]

She's awesome.

[Sean Hayes]

She's amazing.

[Maya Rudolph]

There's nothing there that isn't cool. It's like, hey, do you want to play a cool superhero? Like, yeah, sure. I'm good. Like, you know this. You know, you get to be Batman and it's fun. It's fun to, like, be a cool person. It's. What am I going to do?

[Sean Hayes]

That's kind of what I'm known for, Batman. Oh, you're talking about Will.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, but once the. As Will calls it, the hoax virus goes away, you're going to have to fly back and forth to New York all the time. Are you going to be happy about that? That could get burdensome.

[Maya Rudolph]

I don't know. I really am. I think I'm a little bit in denial of what is happening in the world. And what's going to happen? I mean, is there going to be a live show?

[Will Arnett]

Doesn't matter. You know what's gonna happen? Maya, let's not play this game.

[Maya Rudolph]

We both know what I like to play hard to get.

[Jason Bateman]

Well, you don't have to start wiggling when you say that, Maya.

[Maya Rudolph]

I still have my exercise tank on, right? We haven't exercised yet.

[Will Arnett]

I haven't showered. I haven't showered yet.

[Maya Rudolph]

I'm shy.

[Will Arnett]

I'm so shy.

[Jason Bateman]

I need to take a shower. You don't want any of this?

[Maya Rudolph]

Uh, oh. Do you guys want Chinese chicken salads for lunch? Everybody. Everybody. Everybody's Chinese chicken salad. Let's get Chin Chin. I want Chin Chin.

[Jason Bateman]

Wait, is Chin Chin still around?

[Sean Hayes]

Yes. I get it all the time, and it's so fattening. I call it double check.

[Maya Rudolph]

Chin Chin is still the best. Just the Chinese chicken salad. I don't think I've ever had anything else.

[Will Arnett]

But you know that the conversation that's happening right now is, so Maya will come and do this show. She'll come Saturday, and then she'll come the next Saturday. And so Maya will come.

[Sean Hayes]

That's Will's attempt at Lorne Michaels impression. Everybody.

[Jason Bateman]

Wisconsin.

[Sean Hayes]

Wisconsin.

[Will Arnett]

She says, sean, they don't need to know. Not everybody needs to know everything.

[Maya Rudolph]

Lorne Michaels is my forever boss. I just decided the other day, like, he's my forever boss. He'll always be my boss. He'll be my friend, but no matter whether I ever work there again, he'll always be my forever boss.

[Sean Hayes]

Mia. Mia. Rudolph.

[Maya Rudolph]

Yes, sir.

[Sean Hayes]

Has been incredible.

[Maya Rudolph]

It's Mia Randolph.

[Sean Hayes]

Here comes Mia.

[Jason Bateman]

Question three, get ready.

[Sean Hayes]

No, this is. No more questions. I was going to wrap it up because I know you have kids to take care of.

[Maya Rudolph]

Oh, you mean diapers to change.

[Jason Bateman]

Scotty.

[Will Arnett]

No.

[Jason Bateman]

There's no more in diapers, right? You're done with diapers.

[Maya Rudolph]

I'm done with diapers.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah.

[Sean Hayes]

So I can't thank you enough for being here. And we love you very, very, very much.

[Maya Rudolph]

I love you very much.

[Jason Bateman]

Was way too short.

[Sean Hayes]

And even though we don't get to speak that often, I think about you all the time.

[Maya Rudolph]

Really? Like, all the time.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah.

[Jason Bateman]

Hey. Hey, guys.

[Maya Rudolph]

That was so convincing. That was so convincing.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah.

[Maya Rudolph]

Yeah. Oh, I do.

[Sean Hayes]

I really do. I think about you all the time.

[Maya Rudolph]

You're always such a. You're always such a sweet little cookie. Press.

[Sean Hayes]

Can you sing the Jack Shack shine one more time? Is that is our sign off?

[Maya Rudolph]

Jack Shack shining it up. Jack Shack is totally crispy. Jack Shack 100%.

[Will Arnett]

100% Jack Shack and a Jack.

[Maya Rudolph]

It's totally crispy.

[Will Arnett]

It's totally crispy.

[Maya Rudolph]

Think about it.

[Will Arnett]

It could be box of used socks sold separately.

[Jason Bateman]

I was gonna say this should be a sock sponsor to that, Maya, super, super nice of you.

[Maya Rudolph]

That was really fun, you guys. It's nice to see you. It makes. This is one of those days where when I'm dying and I'm laying there shriveled up, I'm gonna think about today and I'm gonna have a big smile on my face.

[Will Arnett]

Oh, likewise.

[Sean Hayes]

Look at that.

[Will Arnett]

Love you, Maya. You're the best. You're the best.

[Maya Rudolph]

You're the best, man.

[Will Arnett]

You're the best.

[Jason Bateman]

Thank you, Maya.

[Maya Rudolph]

Bye, Josh.

[Jason Bateman]

Enjoy the rest of your day.

[Maya Rudolph]

So nice to see you all.

[Jason Bateman]

Bye. See you later.

[Will Arnett]

Bye.

[Maya Rudolph]

Bye. Tongues included.

[Sean Hayes]

She winged that song. And it's gonna be my head for the rest of the day. Jack Shack.

[Will Arnett]

We were working on up all night whatever 10 years ago, and she said, what did you do this weekend? I said, I spent most of the weekend in my Jack Shack.

[Sean Hayes]

She said.

[Will Arnett]

And she was so enamored. She loved that idea. She thought it was the grossest express. And she used to bring it up all the time. She's like, how's your Jack Shack?

[Sean Hayes]

Hey, is your Jack Shack taken this weekend?

[Will Arnett]

I need to play safe, bro. I got it on Airbnb now.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, good. Anyway, I love her. We love her. I'm so glad, by the way. She's the kind of guest that we have on, that we can just completely be ourselves and fuck around. And it's so fun.

[Will Arnett]

She could guest host the show with us at any time because she's so funny and so. And we love her, and she's got such an ease and comfort, and she's just. Everything about her is the fucking best. I love hanging out with Miles when I hosted Kimmel a couple years ago.

[Sean Hayes]

And here we go.

[Jason Bateman]

Yep.

[Will Arnett]

And the ratings spiked. The point is this. I don't even know if sweeps are a thing, but I know it was a big deal to Jimmy and it got him a new contract. I don't even know how I started on this story, but the point is, I needed a guest. And I said, remember, Jimmy's son was in the hospital and stuff? And last night I went in there and I needed a guest. I was like, who can you count on in a pinch to come in and be funny and available? And Maya happened to drive by at that moment.

[Sean Hayes]

No.

[Will Arnett]

And I called Maya because. Yeah. Because she's incredibly funny and quick, and she saved my ass. She made me look good.

[Sean Hayes]

Yeah, she's always that Jason. Have you ever worked with her?

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah. She was on SNL the one time I hosted way back when. But I would love to. And I was serious. I have. I have talked about her a lot in anything that I have half a say in. I've always wanted to more and more and more. I don't. I don't. I don't like what the kids are doing to her life and my ability to see her on camera more often. So I'd love to talk to her about that maybe finding another place for those kids to live. We would be sure best for me start.

[Will Arnett]

You should call Dave Becky and put a light of fire under his ass, you know.

[Jason Bateman]

Well but maybe Dave could babysit the kids and book her on a couple more things.

[Will Arnett]

That'd be great.

[Sean Hayes]

Dave Becky is her manager.

[Jason Bateman]

Thank you Jesus.

[Will Arnett]

Thanks again.

[Jason Bateman]

Thanks Sean. That's my. That's my Wisconsin accent. Hey, thanks.

[Will Arnett]

Hey guys, don't worry about it. I got it all sorted out. I just heard Sean said that Dave Becky's her manager. Okay.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, no, Sean. Sean just straightened it out.

[Will Arnett]

He straightened it out for us out here. Okay. Don't worry. D. I guess he's some kind of Hollywood manager.

[Sean Hayes]

Anyway, great guest. I love her. I love you guys. Bye.

[Will Arnett]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Sean.

[Maya Rudolph]

Bye.

[Will Arnett]

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[Jason Bateman]

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[Sean Hayes]

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[Jason Bateman]

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[Sean Hayes]

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