SmartLess Presents ClueLess! 101 - It’s A Numbers Game

Summary

SmartLess Presents ClueLess! 101 - It’s A Numbers Game: Detailed Summary

Release Date: November 18, 2024

Welcome to the inaugural episode of "SmartLess Presents ClueLess! 101 - It’s A Numbers Game," a fresh addition to the SmartLess Media family. Hosted by Elliot Kalin, this episode features beloved SmartLess hosts Sean Hayes, Jason Bateman, and Will Arnett engaging in a lively and intellectually stimulating numbers-based game centered around television shows. Here's a comprehensive breakdown of the episode's key segments, discussions, and memorable moments.

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1. Introduction to ClueLess

Elliot Kalin kicks off the episode by introducing the new podcast, ClueLess, describing it as a platform where listeners can engage in solving puzzles faster than Sean Hayes. The introduction sets a playful and competitive tone for the episode.

• Elliot Kalin [00:10]: "Sean Hayes and Smartless Media are excited to announce the birth of an all new baby podcast… This is Clueless."

The playful banter among hosts immediately establishes a fun and relaxed atmosphere, characteristic of the SmartLess brand.

Sean Hayes humorously reassures listeners about his resting state while the hosts joke about the name "Clueless," transitioning smoothly into the show's premise.

2. Meet the Cast

Elliot Kalin introduces the participants, highlighting Jason Bateman and Will Arnett joining Sean Hayes for this special episode.

• Elliot Kalin [01:35]: "Sean, we should explain to the listener, okay. What is this show all about… Who do we have with us today?"

Jason Bateman and Will Arnett engage in lighthearted exchanges, emphasizing their camaraderie and history with Sean. Their interactions hint at past gaming nights and shared adventures, adding depth to their on-air chemistry.

• Will Arnett [02:35]: "Let me just say that I got passed over a little bit on the game. On the game stuff."

Their reminiscing about past game nights and trips to international locations like Venice and Istanbul adds a nostalgic layer, setting the stage for the competitive yet friendly gameplay ahead.

3. Game Introduction: "It's A Numbers Game – TV Show Edition"

The core of the episode revolves around "It's A Numbers Game – TV Show Edition," a puzzle-based competition where participants solve math equations represented by TV show titles with missing numbers.

Elliot Kalin explains the rules clearly, ensuring listeners understand the unique blend of television knowledge and basic math required.

• Elliot Kalin [04:16]: "This game is built around TV shows with numbers in their titles. You are going to be tested on your very useful knowledge of television shows and also your very useless knowledge of basic elementary school math."

He provides a practice question to demonstrate the game mechanics:

• Elliot Kalin [04:45]: "If I said day fiance minus four 30, what would the answer be?"

Jason Bateman swiftly answers, showcasing his quick thinking.

• Jason Bateman [05:11]: "90 day fiance."

The hosts dive into the main game, presenting a series of progressively challenging questions. Each round is filled with humorous exchanges, competitive spirit, and clever wordplay.

Notable Moments and Quotes:

1. First Question:

   • Elliot Kalin [05:38]: "Million Dollar man divided by stooges."
   • Jason Bateman [05:47]: "Six divided by three is two… two and then you gotta do a show."
   • Will Arnett [05:56]: "Two and a Half Men."

   The quick resolution and Will's humorous comment about deserving extra points highlight the friendly rivalry.

2. Second Question:

   • Elliot Kalin [06:16]: "Reno nine plus a half men."
   • Will Arnett [06:16]: "Fucking dummy. Is 13."
   • Jason Bateman [06:26]: "It can be seen massively successful."

   The playful teasing between Will and Jason adds levity, while the correct answer demonstrates their deep TV show knowledge.

3. Third Question:

   • Elliot Kalin [07:03]: "This might be a little more difficult… 7th Heaven."
   • Will Arnett [07:20]: "21 Jump Street."

   The transition from easier to harder questions keeps the tension and engagement high.

4. Humorous Banter:

   • Will Arnett [08:08]: "Why you got a pen in your hand? What Are you doing?"
   • Jason Bateman [08:09]: "I'm writing the numbers down."

   The exchange underscores Sean's strategic gameplay while maintaining the episode's lighthearted tone.

4. Game Dynamics and Teamwork

Throughout the game, the interplay between Jason Bateman's numerical calculations, Will Arnett's TV show insights, and Sean Hayes' role in writing down answers creates a dynamic and entertaining competition.

• Elliot Kalin [08:47]: "You all have such unique strengths that come together as a team. Jason with the numbers. Will with the TV shows, Sean with the writing down the numbers."

This acknowledgment of each participant's strengths not only highlights their individual talents but also showcases the collaborative spirit essential for the game's progression.

5. Cliffhanger Puzzle

As the game concludes, Elliot Kalin introduces the episode's Cliffhanger Puzzle, designed to engage listeners beyond the episode itself.

• Elliot Kalin [09:31]: "This is a final question made out of the answers of all the previous questions…"

Participants are tasked with solving a story-based puzzle involving the success of Prime Hydration and the creation of solid gold bottles, requiring listeners to ponder the rationale behind the material choice.

• Elliot Kalin [12:34]: "The Cliffhanger puzzle is just a little bit of extra puzzle. We put it in a Tupperware for you to take home and pick at it until the next episode."

Will Arnett humorously questions their preparedness, adding to the suspense and anticipation for the next episode's resolution.

6. Conclusion and Teasers for Next Episode

The episode wraps up with heartfelt thanks to the participants and listeners, emphasizing the show's continuity and the promise of more engaging puzzles in future episodes.

• Elliot Kalin [14:03]: "Clueless must come to an end. Will Jason, thank you so much for joining us. Sean, thank you for being Sean Hayes."

The hosts engage in final witty exchanges, ensuring listeners are left both amused and eagerly awaiting the next installment.

• Elliot Kalin [14:05]: "I'll be very sad to see you go… Goodbye."
• Will Arnett [14:24]: "Yay."

Elliot Kalin also shares production credits, acknowledging the hardworking team behind the scenes, which adds a personal and professional touch to the episode's close.

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Final Thoughts and Insights

The first episode of "SmartLess Presents ClueLess! 101 - It’s A Numbers Game" successfully blends intellectual challenges with the natural humor and camaraderie of its esteemed hosts. By combining TV show trivia with mathematical puzzles, the podcast offers a unique and engaging experience for fans of SmartLess and puzzle enthusiasts alike.

Key Takeaways:

• Engaging Format: The innovative format of interpreting TV show titles through math equations provides a fresh and entertaining twist to traditional game shows.

• Host Chemistry: The genuine interactions and humorous exchanges between Sean Hayes, Jason Bateman, and Will Arnett enhance the episode's appeal, making it accessible and enjoyable even for those unfamiliar with all participants.

• Listener Involvement: The inclusion of the Cliffhanger Puzzle invites active listener participation, fostering a sense of community and anticipation for future episodes.

Notable Quotes:

• Jason Bateman [01:00]: "You know, I'm at a 10, but you pick up the with your energy, Elliot. It's really infectious."

• Will Arnett [08:08]: "Why you got a pen in your hand? What Are you doing?"

• Elliot Kalin [12:34]: "The Cliffhanger puzzle is just a little bit of extra puzzle. We put it in a Tupperware for you to take home and pick at it until the next episode."

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For those who haven't tuned in yet, this episode of ClueLess is a must-listen, offering a delightful mix of challenge, humor, and star power. Stay tuned for upcoming episodes where the puzzles grow more intricate, and the fun only intensifies.

Subscribe to SiriusXM Podcasts+ on Apple Podcasts to listen to new episodes ad-free and a whole week early. Follow SmartLess Presents ClueLess in your favorite podcast app to never miss an episode filled with laughter, competition, and intellectual stimulation.

Transcript

[Elliot Kalin]

Smart.

[Sean Hayes]

Bless me up.

[Elliot Kalin]

Sean Hayes and Smartless Media are excited to announce the birth of an all new baby podcast. The podcast weighs in at a healthy 10 to 12 minutes. Sean Hayes is resting comfortably. This is Clueless.

[Sean Hayes]

Clueless.

[Will Arnett]

Clueless.

[Jason Bateman]

I'm Clueless Toilets.

[Will Arnett]

Woo.

[Elliot Kalin]

Welcome to episode one of Smartless presents. Clueless, a brand new podcast where you, the listener, try to solve puzzles faster than Sean Hayes. My name is Elliot Kalin and I'll be your host because Sean Hayes can't just ask himself the questions, can he? It would be unethical. And with me on every episode of this show is the man who loves games more than is really healthy, Mr. Sean Hayes. Sean, how excited are you for this new podcast on a scale from 9 to 10?

[Jason Bateman]

You know, I'm at a 10, but you pick up the with your energy, Elliot. It's really infectious.

[Elliot Kalin]

Thank you.

[Jason Bateman]

And listeners, by the way, this is Elliot Kaelin, who you may know was the head writer for Mystery Science Theater 3000, the Daily show with Jon Stewart, co host of the bad movie podcast the Flop House. And now he's hosting this show for us.

[Will Arnett]

Yes.

[Elliot Kalin]

Thank you. Thank you. Now, Sean, we should explain to the listener, okay. What is this show all about? Each episode you'll be playing a different main game and it might be a word puzzle or identifying a song or choosing the odd one out. That game is called Odd one Out. But it won't just be you competing alone. You'll also be bringing on a selection of your funny friends and family to play along. Who do we have with us today?

[Jason Bateman]

It's Will Arnett and Jason Bateman, everybody.

[Elliot Kalin]

Hi.

[Jason Bateman]

We're excited.

[Will Arnett]

I was trying to harmonize.

[Elliot Kalin]

Will, Jason, welcome to the show. How does it feel to be Shawn's funny Jason?

[Will Arnett]

You're family.

[Unknown]

I'm family.

[Will Arnett]

I'm funny friend.

[Unknown]

You're funny friend.

[Elliot Kalin]

Before we begin, I have to know one thing. Jason and Will, what is your Sean Hayes gaming experience up to this point? Has he ever asked you to do it in public before?

[Unknown]

Oh, yeah. No. Let's keep it clean, okay. We used to gather over at his house for game night.

[Jason Bateman]

Game night.

[Unknown]

Sean has been with us. We used to play a lot of poker together. I mean, he's a gifted gamer.

[Will Arnett]

Let me just say that I got passed over a little bit on the game. On the game stuff.

[Jason Bateman]

You did.

[Will Arnett]

And have I forgiven him? Yeah. And you asked why? Because I'm a big person.

[Unknown]

I don't remember you being a part of the group at that moment.

[Will Arnett]

No, I wasn't. I wasn't a part of the group, and that's a. It's a bigger conversation.

[Jason Bateman]

You were always here.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah. I was on your mind.

[Unknown]

The trip to, like, Istanbul and stuff, was that before or after game night at your place?

[Will Arnett]

Istanbul was after. But Venice. Venice was before.

[Jason Bateman]

Huh?

[Unknown]

Venice didn't go very well.

[Jason Bateman]

No. And here we are. Well, now. New beginnings.

[Will Arnett]

But now we're here. New beginnings. Elliot, now you've really unearthed some.

[Unknown]

This will stitch us back together. Maybe it'll launch a podcast of the three of us to be here.

[Will Arnett]

But we're very excited. I'm very excited. And I know Sean's love of games is deep. Very deep. He loves games.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, I like it. It's fun. It's fun.

[Elliot Kalin]

Sean is a master gamer. I love getting that peek inside of your relationship. It briefly turned into a James Bond movie with all the international locations that got thrown into the mix. Sean, will. Jason. Enough talking about the past. Let's look ahead to the present. Today's main event, it's a numbers game TV show edition. Cue the theme song.

[Will Arnett]

I keep forgetting that. I keep forgetting there's a band right behind me. Cause I saw them load in.

[Unknown]

I smell the weed.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah, you did.

[Jason Bateman]

It's a numbers game.

[Will Arnett]

It's so good.

[Jason Bateman]

All right, let's begin.

[Elliot Kalin]

This game is built around TV shows with numbers in their titles. You are going to be tested on your very useful knowledge of television shows and also your very useless knowledge of basic elementary school math.

[Unknown]

227.

[Jason Bateman]

227.

[Elliot Kalin]

I like that you were so ready with a number right off the bat.

[Unknown]

It will be a winner in one of these questions.

[Elliot Kalin]

Each question will take the form of a simple math equation. Only instead of numbers, I'm going to tell you a TV show title that has had the number removed from it.

[Sean Hayes]

Oh, shit.

[Elliot Kalin]

You're going to have to recognize the show, understand the number, and then solve the equation using the missing numbers. And you can get a bonus point as a group for responding with an answer in the form of a TV show title. So I'm going to give you an example. This is just a practice one. This doesn't count to your score. Let's try this out. If I said day fiance minus for 30, what would the answer be? And you can talk it out, too. Work it out between yourselves.

[Jason Bateman]

90 day fiance.

[Will Arnett]

30 for 30.

[Jason Bateman]

So it'd be 60.

[Elliot Kalin]

Yep, you got that right. And if you wanted that extra point, what is there a Show title with 60 minutes.

[Jason Bateman]

Oh, 60 minutes. 60 minutes.

[Elliot Kalin]

You got it. 60 minutes. Got it.

[Unknown]

Great.

[Will Arnett]

That's great.

[Elliot Kalin]

You could have also said Studio 60 or any of the millions of TV shows that have 60 in their titles. Okay, then let's play It's a numbers game. TV show edition. The first question is Million Dollar man divided by stooges.

[Jason Bateman]

$6 million man. Yep. Divided by three stooges. Six divided by three is two. Oh, two. And then you gotta do a show.

[Unknown]

With two in it. 227.

[Jason Bateman]

Nice.

[Elliot Kalin]

You got it. Perfect.

[Unknown]

Two and a Half Men.

[Will Arnett]

Fucking use it. You received right away.

[Elliot Kalin]

I feel like. I feel like I should give you double extra points because there's two twos in that. In that name.

[Unknown]

I would like it. I'll take it.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Elliot Kalin]

Okay, so that's three points total for that first question. That's. You're getting more points than you're supposed to. Question two is Reno nine. Plus and a half men.

[Unknown]

14. Reno nine one one. Three and a Half Men.

[Will Arnett]

Oh, Two and a Half Men. Fucking dummy. Is 13. Hang on, hang on. Reno 911.

[Jason Bateman]

Could be 11 or two ones. I think we got to go with 11.

[Will Arnett]

I think we have to go with 11.

[Jason Bateman]

Okay, 11 and then what is it?

[Will Arnett]

I think plus.

[Unknown]

Plus two and a half.

[Will Arnett]

13 is 13 and 13 reasons why.

[Elliot Kalin]

Yep, you got it. That's great.

[Will Arnett]

What's 13? Where's 13 reasons why?

[Unknown]

Oh, it's a ya vehicle on netflix.

[Jason Bateman]

It can be seen massively successful.

[Elliot Kalin]

Young people love it. Young people love it.

[Will Arnett]

Sucks. And I could give you 14 reasons why.

[Elliot Kalin]

Let's go to question three. This one might be a little more difficult. I'm going to try to enunciate as much as I can. This is heaven.

[Jason Bateman]

Okay.

[Elliot Kalin]

Times Company.

[Jason Bateman]

7Th Heaven.

[Unknown]

7Th Heaven.

[Will Arnett]

21. Wait, wait. 21 Jump Street.

[Elliot Kalin]

That's right. You got it.

[Unknown]

Wait, I thought you said something different on the second show. I thought it was Six Something.

[Elliot Kalin]

It could have been Sixes Co. Who.

[Will Arnett]

Is your cable provider because you're getting different shows.

[Elliot Kalin]

Three and a Half Men. Sixes Company. Yeah. That was very fast. Very impressive. You guys are blazing through this game. Let's continue it to number four. This question is Beverly Hills 0210. Minus is enough.

[Unknown]

1902108 is enough.

[Will Arnett]

We gotta think of this show.

[Jason Bateman]

Minus eight.

[Unknown]

One murder.

[Will Arnett]

Murder one.

[Unknown]

Murder one. Very good, Will.

[Elliot Kalin]

Yeah, very good. You got it. Murder One. That's two full points. It's just fantastic.

[Unknown]

Sean, by the way, you suck at this game. I haven't heard one answer.

[Jason Bateman]

No, I got the first one.

[Will Arnett]

Why you got a pen in your hand? What Are you doing?

[Jason Bateman]

I'm writing the numbers down.

[Will Arnett]

It's obviously helping.

[Elliot Kalin]

Question five.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Elliot Kalin]

Things I hate about you, minus Babylon, what is it?

[Jason Bateman]

10 Things I Hate about you or what is it? What's that one I hate? Yeah. Is it 10 things? Is it 10, Elliot?

[Will Arnett]

I think it's 10 things I hate about you, minus Babylon 5. Babylon.

[Jason Bateman]

Babylon 5.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah. So it's party of five.

[Elliot Kalin]

Great. You got it.

[Unknown]

Wow.

[Jason Bateman]

Wow. That was good. That was good. Party of five.

[Unknown]

Incredible. Will.

[Elliot Kalin]

You all have such unique strengths that come together as a team. Jason with the numbers. Will with the TV shows, Sean with the writing down the numbers.

[Unknown]

Yeah.

[Elliot Kalin]

Which it's good for record keeping for later.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah, yeah, for sure. Would you consider it a compliment? And he says your strength is writing stuff down.

[Jason Bateman]

Yes.

[Will Arnett]

That's all he could.

[Jason Bateman]

What a great.

[Will Arnett]

Anything I can get is there in the Marvel. Sorry. In the mcu, is there a character. Is there a superhero whose superpowers was.

[Jason Bateman]

Writing down the stenographer?

[Will Arnett]

He was the stenographer.

[Elliot Kalin]

Okay. That was a great game. You guys played an amazing game. But just because you're done with the game does not mean the game is done with you. There's also the matter of this episode's mega clue.

[Will Arnett]

Mega clue questions.

[Elliot Kalin]

Beautiful. This is a final question made out of the answers of all the previous questions. So I'm gonna remind you what those answers were. I would tell everyone except Sean doesn't need to know this because he already has it. Everyone take a moment to get a pen, something to write on so I can remind you of what the correct.

[Will Arnett]

Take it back on Sean. I take it back on Sean. Writing it down. That. Turns out that was smart.

[Unknown]

If you're driving, lodge your knees just underneath the steering wheel. Grab a pen. Keep your eyes on the road somewhat.

[Elliot Kalin]

Yeah.

[Will Arnett]

If you have a candle on your dashboard. Careful. Sorry. Elliot, there are some.

[Unknown]

No, not Easter eggs here.

[Elliot Kalin]

No, but it's a good point. Set aside the rotisserie chicken that you're picking out with your non driving hand so you can put a pad there so you can write during that time. Yeah. Okay. Here are the numbers that you have already had as your answers. 2, 13, 21, 1 and 5. Yeah, I'll tell you again. 2, 13, 21, one and five. Now I want you to add those numbers together.

[Will Arnett]

42.

[Elliot Kalin]

And then subtract from that number. That was great. Then subtract.

[Will Arnett]

I don't even have a pen with me. And I did that in my.

[Unknown]

Oh, man.

[Jason Bateman]

Amazing. Talk about your superpower mask, Mr. Math Man.

[Elliot Kalin]

Hey, Algebra okay, now add those numbers together, 42. And then subtract the number of monkeys in the title of a television adaptation of a 1990s science fiction film. And then tell me, can you think of a show with that number in the title?

[Jason Bateman]

Be 12 Monkeys.

[Unknown]

34.

[Will Arnett]

But it's 34. Wait, 12 Monkeys or 8 Monkeys? 12 Monkeys.

[Sean Hayes]

12 Monkeys.

[Unknown]

30 something. Is it 30?

[Jason Bateman]

30 something.

[Unknown]

Oh, wait, what?

[Jason Bateman]

42 minus 12.

[Elliot Kalin]

12 Monkeys for 30. And then I was hoping that someone would say 30 something because it's the rare television show where they spelled out the number. They didn't just put it.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah, that's right.

[Elliot Kalin]

And for one final Absolutely last question, take that last number, and I want you to add it up.

[Unknown]

Yep. That's the way we'd end things on smart lists.

[Elliot Kalin]

Take that last number, add it to 9,000, 970. And can you tell me the name of any pyramids that are worth that much money?

[Unknown]

10,000.

[Will Arnett]

The $10,000 pyramid.

[Jason Bateman]

100,000.

[Unknown]

Elliot, I put you and this show on the top of a million dollar pyramid. It's so damn good.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah.

[Elliot Kalin]

Thanks, Elliot.

[Jason Bateman]

You're brilliant.

[Will Arnett]

It's a lot of fun. It's a lot of fun.

[Unknown]

You know, it's a hoot, you guys.

[Elliot Kalin]

2S listeners at home, did you do better or worse than these actual 100% authentic famous people? If you did better, maybe you should be famous. Your mom keeps telling me how talented you are. Think about it.

[Jason Bateman]

Yeah.

[Elliot Kalin]

Sean, Will, Jason, thank you so much for being with us today. I'll be very sad to see you go. So it's a good thing the show's not over yet, because every episode of Clueless ends with the Cliffhanger puzzle.

[Sean Hayes]

Sting music.

[Elliot Kalin]

There it is. You wanted more Sting music? You got it.

[Unknown]

Heavy baseline.

[Elliot Kalin]

The Cliffhanger puzzle is just a little bit of extra puzzle. We put it in a Tupperware for you to take home and pick at it until the next episode. And today's puzzle takes the form. Takes the form of a little story. It seems that the energy drink Prime Hydration has been so successful that the company celebrated by creating two solid gold prime bottles. The gold bottles are an appropriate vessel for the drink. Silver bottles would also be appropriate, but iron or tin bottles would not be. Why is that the case? That's for you to noodle over until our next episode. Sean, Will, Jason, are you guys going to get any sleep between now and the moment you learn the answer to this puzzle?

[Unknown]

Not if I get all hopped up on prime beverage.

[Will Arnett]

Yeah, I'm going to sleep Great. I'm going to be honest with you.

[Elliot Kalin]

Maybe even better. Maybe a little better.

[Will Arnett]

I mean, Elliot, I got to say, just. Just the very end of your question, I was just entering rem.

[Elliot Kalin]

We'll reveal the answer to today's cliffhanger puzzle at the top of our next episode, which, guess what you can listen to right now. Just click the link in this episode description to follow us on Apple Podcasts or search for Smartless Presents Clueless in your podcast app of choice. Make sure to follow, subscribe rate, review all the things that you can do to let us know you love this show. And with that, this first episode of Clueless must come to an end. Will Jason, thank you so much for joining us. Sean, thank you for being Sean Hayes. Somebody has to. I'm glad you took the burden.

[Jason Bateman]

It's exhausting. Yeah.

[Elliot Kalin]

And as long as I'm just handing out thank yous, why don't I toss one of the audience's way as well? Thank you audience for listening to this show. This has been Clueless. We'll be back next episode with more puzzles and more Sean Hayes. Not necessarily in that order. I've been your host, Elliot Kaelin, reminding you to join us next time because if you give us less than 24 hours notice, we still have to charge you for the appointment. Goodbye.

[Will Arnett]

Yay.

[Unknown]

Very nice.

[Jason Bateman]

Thank Elliot.

[Sean Hayes]

Clueless. You have been listening to Smartless presents Clueless, a Smartless Media production in association with SiriusXM. Your host is Elliot Kalin, who also writes our scripts. Your constant contestant is Sean Hayes, who is five'eleven Your producer, editor and engineer is Devin Tory Bryant, who is me. I also write all the music and sound effects assistant engineer, Kyle McGraw. Today's puzzles were written by Matt Broussard and Josh Richman. Talent producer is Anne Harris. Associate producer, Maddie McCann. Social media producer, Tommy Galgano. Executive producers are Elliot Kaywith, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett and Jason Bateman. Executive producers for Smartless Media are Richard Corson and Bernie Kaminsky. Remember to follow, subscribe, rate and review the show. It really helps. That's all for now. We will see you again for more. I'm clicking.