YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Wittyngham

Summary

Summary of SmartLess Podcast Episode: "YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Whittingham"

Podcast Information:

• Title: SmartLess
• Hosts: Jason Bateman, Sean Hayes, Will Arnett
• Episode: YOUR NEW FAVORITE SOCCER SHOW: GoalLess with Russell Howard and Chris Whittingham
• Release Date: October 9, 2024
• Description: In this special episode, the SmartLess hosts introduce their new media podcast, "Goalless," which delves into the world of soccer through the lens of humor and passion, featuring comedian Russell Howard and commentator Chris Whittingham.

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1. Introduction

The episode kicks off with Will Arnett sharing exciting news about SmartLess Media's latest venture into the soccer podcast arena. Highlighting the complexity and vastness of the soccer world, Will emphasizes the creation of "Goalless" as a platform designed to celebrate the beautiful game with a blend of analysis and humor.

Will Arnett [00:00]: "Everyone knows the world of soccer has hundreds of leagues and competitions and et cetera, but there's one that stands above them all. The Champions League."

2. Hosts' Background

Russell Howard, a renowned British stand-up comedian with a deep love for football, and Chris Whittingham, a seasoned UEFA Champions League commentator for CBS and Paramount Plus, are introduced as the co-hosts of "Goalless." Their combined expertise promises insightful commentary paired with entertaining banter.

Russell Howard [01:10]: "Of all the unimportant things in life, we're here for the most important. Football."

Chris Whittingham [01:05]: "Hello, I'm Chris Whittingham...on the UEFA Champions League."

3. Show Announcement and Concept

The hosts outline the foundation and goals of "Goalless." Aimed at both die-hard fans and newcomers, the podcast intends to dissect the latest Champions League stories, offer predictions, and engage in conversations with various personalities passionate about soccer. The show promises a mix of serious analysis and lighthearted moments, making it accessible and enjoyable for a broad audience.

Russell Howard [01:20]: "We'll talk with players, comedians and actors who share our love and passion for the game."

Chris Whittingham [02:09]: "One of the biggest things for viewers to get used to in this year's Champions League is it's a completely different format."

4. Discussion Highlights

The conversation delves into several intriguing topics:

• Champions League Format Changes: Chris discusses the new league table format, emphasizing the increased frequency of high-profile matches, making the league stage more thrilling for fans.

  Chris Whittingham [02:09]: "Realistically, I think the biggest thing for viewers to get used to is that every week there are going to be games between big teams."

• Personal Anecdotes: Russell shares a humorous and somewhat awkward encounter with football star Jude Bellingham at Heathrow Airport, highlighting his genuine admiration and the challenges of interacting with celebrities.

  Russell Howard [03:01]: "I met Bellingham. How cool is this?"

  Russell Howard [03:56]: "He's a terrifying guy. He's really funny as well."

• Celebrity Interactions: Chris expresses a desire to meet Zlatan Ibrahimović, illustrating the hosts' admiration for high-profile footballers and the humorous complexities that come with such interactions.

  Chris Whittingham [03:27]: "I would kind of love to meet Zlatan, even though he would absolutely overwhelm me."

• Soccer Terminology Debate: A light-hearted debate ensues over the term "soccer" versus "football," reflecting cultural differences and the hosts' playful banter.

  Russell Howard [01:59]: "Things evolve, my friend. We need a new word specifically for the podcast so that we can get through it."

5. Notable Quotes

Throughout the episode, several memorable quotes stand out:

• Russell Howard [02:41]: "That's a really good point actually, isn't it? Because it means we don't have to wait till the quarter finals for those kind of red hot games."

• Chris Whittingham [04:16]: "Riccardo Califiori stole Europe's hearts this summer because of his wonderful haircut."

• Russell Howard [05:28]: "Our teeth are bad. That's what the English are known for. We have bad teeth. But is it our hair as well?"

6. Conclusion

The episode concludes with the hosts reiterating the essence of "Goalless" as a fan-driven soccer show that combines insightful analysis with humor. They invite listeners to subscribe and follow the podcast across various platforms, emphasizing its accessibility and the promise of engaging content tailored for soccer enthusiasts.

Russell Howard [05:46]: "Goalless is your new favorite football show. By fans. For fans."

Will Arnett [06:18]: "Whether you're a longtime fan or new to the sport, Goalless is the place to go to get information and have some laughs."

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Final Thoughts:

This SmartLess episode serves as an engaging launchpad for "Goalless," blending the hosts' comedic flair with their passion for soccer. By featuring Russell Howard and Chris Whittingham, the podcast promises a unique perspective on the Champions League, making it a must-listen for fans seeking both depth and entertainment in their football discussions.

Listeners are encouraged to tune in to "Goalless" on platforms like Apple Podcasts, SiriusXM Podcasts+, and others to stay updated on the latest episodes and join a community of fellow soccer aficionados.

Transcript

[Will Arnett]

Will Arnett here with some huge news. Look, everyone knows the world of soccer has hundreds of leagues and competitions and et cetera, but there's one that stands above them all. The Champions League. Oh, Champions. You know the. That's better. Anyway, join our newest smartless media podcast called Goalless, where the hilarious and football obsessed British comedian Russell Howard partners up with soccer obsessed Champions League announcer Chris Whittingham to highlight the passion personalities and on pitch Dr. That makes soccer beautiful and hilarious. Built by fans for fans. So whether you're a fan of Liverpool, like you should be, Bayern Munich, Real Madrid or Young Boys. No, no. Which is a actual Swiss team called Young Boys. That's their name. We have got you covered. Every Monday and Thursday, the guys kick around the biggest stories from the Champions League, featuring analysis and laughs and stars who love the game. What's the goal? You tell us. But why should he listen to me? I'll hand it over to the experts. Here's the show trailer.

[Chris Whittingham]

Hello, I'm Chris Whittingham. I'm a commentator for CBS and Paramount plus on the UEFA Champions League.

[Russell Howard]

And I'm Russell Howard, a standup comedian from Great Britain. Welcome to Goalless. Of all the unimportant things in life, we're here for the most important. Football.

[Chris Whittingham]

He means soccer. Each week we'll kick around the biggest stories, predictions and results from the Champions League. We'll talk with players, comedians and actors who share our love and passion for the game. Plus news from the wider world of soccer.

[Russell Howard]

For the best goals to the funniest player trolls, disastrous decisions to disastrous haircuts. Goalless is your new favorite football show. By fans. For fans.

[Chris Whittingham]

Well, okay, actually, I do have a slight history lesson for you here.

[Russell Howard]

Okay, okay.

[Chris Whittingham]

The word soccer is actually an English word. If you go back down the years, you watched some BBC broadcasts in the 1970s, 1980s, they're calling it soccer.

[Russell Howard]

Things evolve, my friend. We need a new word specifically for the podcast so that we can get through it. How about foot cursoball? Soccer.

[Chris Whittingham]

I could Socceball. That's not it. Now, Russell, one of the biggest things for viewers to get used to in this year's Champions League is it's a completely different format. 1:36 team league table where not everyone is playing each other home and away. Eight different opponents for every team. Realistically, I think the biggest thing for viewers to get used to is that every week there are going to be games between big teams. And that used to not be the case. If you're not watching your own team you're going to watch whatever the biggest game is and there will be one of those almost every single day of this league stage.

[Russell Howard]

That's a really good point actually, isn't it? Because it means we don't have to wait till the quarter finals for those kind of red hot games. So the fact that Liverpool, like, we've got Real Madrid so already I'm so excited. The idea that Bellingham and Mbappe Vinicius Jr. I'll get to see them live. I met Bellingham. How cool is this? Right?

[Chris Whittingham]

Okay.

[Russell Howard]

It was such an insane moment. He saw me at Heathrow Airport and he asked me for a photo because when he was young, he was a fan of my TV show and it just blew my mind. But my phone was going through the security, so I didn't get the opportunity to also have my photo with Jude Bellingham. So I told my friends and none of them believed me.

[Chris Whittingham]

So you've got to get in touch with Jude Bellingham to get that picture off him.

[Russell Howard]

Yeah, but it was, you know, one of those moments where you meet somebody so impressive and it just happens in a kind of a blur. And I kind of got very formal and when I met his mum, I was like, you know, I said.

[Chris Whittingham]

I think I said, Mrs. Bellingham, lovely to meet you.

[Russell Howard]

I think I did. I went, Mrs. Bellingham, your son is an absolutely phenomenal footballer. You should be very proud. I kind of. Maybe that's what ruined it. Maybe he was like, I think he's cracking onto my mum. Which I wasn't in any way any footballer. Who would you like to meet?

[Chris Whittingham]

Zlatan? I would kind of love to meet Zlatan, even though he would absolutely overwhelm me. I work for our Serie A coverage at Paramount Plus. And he went up to the desk and straightaway was like, oh, this is the B team. What happened to the A team that does the Champions League? And was like, just what an absolute savage this man is. I don't know if I could really speak to him. Yeah, it would be weird.

[Russell Howard]

He's a terrifying guy. He's really funny as well. And he also has the look of a man who could break into a zoo and fight a gorilla. Do you know what I mean? Like, he's.

[Chris Whittingham]

Well, okay. He could talk his way into doing that. And then probably not. Farewell against the gorilla, I would imagine.

[Russell Howard]

Again, it's a challenge. So we need to get a photo from Jude Bellingham and we need to find a way. Zlatan, he's not busy, he's not playing. Let's get him into a zoo. Let's get the right gorilla and let's make that happen.

[Chris Whittingham]

Riccardo Califiori stole Europe's hearts this summer because of his wonderful haircut. The Italians usually bring the hair to the competition, Germans as well. Do you feel like we will have better hairstyle in the Champions League because it's Italy and Germany, maybe not England, that is getting the extra spot in the Champions League?

[Russell Howard]

Do you know, I've never thought about the locks of my nation, but you're right, I think, yeah, Italian men have the best hair.

[Chris Whittingham]

Go down the ears. Pirlo Nesta Maldini.

[Russell Howard]

Yeah.

[Chris Whittingham]

And now. I mean California. If you had said to Arsenal fans before the Euros, hey, we're gonna sign Riccardo Calofiore in the. You wouldn't have heard of him. But all of a sudden you see his hair and you think, this is the best defender that we've ever seen.

[Russell Howard]

Our teeth are bad. That's what the English are known for. We have bad teeth. But is it our hair as well? Is that what America thinks of us, that we have bad hair?

[Will Arnett]

Jack Grealish. Jack Grealish.

[Russell Howard]

He's got great.

[Chris Whittingham]

Jack Grealish has wonderful hair. Wonderful hair. But also, I do think Wayne Rooney was not the best diplomat in this regard.

[Russell Howard]

Yeah, he's probably fair. I was just thinking then, some of our great footballers, except for Beckham, do look like they were kind of. Something happened in the laboratory with a potato. From Smartless Media, Meadowlark, Sirius and Paramount. Plus, listen to Goalless wherever you get your podcasts. The first episode premieres on September 19th.

[Chris Whittingham]

Don't forget to follow Goalless for new episodes, right when they drop and join us on Social at Goalless, the show.

[Will Arnett]

You can listen to Goalless anywhere you get your podcasts. Whether you're a longtime fan or new to the sport, Goalless is the place to go to get information and have some laughs, which is nice for everybody. So what are you waiting for? Go and give Goalless a follow. Goalless is proudly sponsored by Paramount, the home of the UEFA Champions League.