Smash Boom Best: Babies vs. Puppies
Podcast: Smash Boom Best (Brains On Universe)
Host: Molly Bloom
Debaters: Anna Wegel (babies), Brant Miller (puppies)
Judge: Coco from Claremont, CA
Date: December 4, 2025
Episode Overview
In this adorable and lively episode of Smash Boom Best, the debate is “Babies vs. Puppies.” Both are the ultimate symbols of cuteness and love, but which is truly the best? Debaters Anna Wegel (Team Babies) and Brant Miller (Team Puppies)—who happen to be married and parents to both children and a dog—face off to win over the judge, Coco, and listeners at home. With jokes, fun facts, spontaneous challenges, and heartfelt moments, the episode explores what makes babies and puppies special, touching on science, personal experience, and plenty of giggles.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Introductions and Stakes
- Host Molly Bloom introduces the debate: "Today we've got an episode that's sure to make you go, aw. Two cute and cuddly creatures are battling to win your heart. It's babies versus puppies." (00:57)
- The context is set—the debaters are married, with perspectives as parents and dog owners, promising “heated debate.” (01:46)
- Judge Coco shares her impartiality, stating she loves both babies and her (sometimes mean) dog. She gives debaters a tip: "I like to laugh, so, you know, that might help you tickle the funny bone." (03:43)
2. Declaration of Greatness (Babies: Anna Wegel)
- Anna opens with a surprise: a loving endorsement of babies from Brant’s own mother:
"When I first laid eyes on my baby boy, I felt complete. ... I love you, dear son. My incredible, sweet Brant Miller." (05:05) - Points made for babies:
- Babies are "sophisticated learning machines." The human brain triples in size in the first three years (06:20)
- Humans are hardwired to find babies cute for evolutionary reasons—big eyes, squishy limbs, little noises. (06:39)
- Babies’ cuteness may even “out-cute” puppies because our affection for puppies is rooted in their baby-like features. (07:12)
- Babies are creative, empathic, and imaginative, not just “pooping and crying.” (07:35)
- Babies are easier to contain (cribs, carriers, arms) and sleep up to 17 hours/day, while puppies are "storms of destruction." (07:57)
- Babies are "our future," growing up to take care of us and the world. Puppies become “just a dog.” (09:03)
- Great closing: “Today’s babies are going to take care of us someday. ... It's truly the circle of life.” (09:27)
- Notable quote: “Playing with a baby is an investment in the future of the universe.” (09:03)
- Memorable baby quote: “Goo goo blerp. And doesn't that really say at all?” (10:16)
- Judge Coco responds: She appreciates the brain facts and cuteness argument. (10:23)
3. Rebuttal (Puppies: Brant Miller)
- Brant reacts to Anna's tactics: "To start. Anna, you brought my mom into this?" (10:51)
- Counters that puppies are also cute and make sweet noises.
- Argues puppies are easier/faster to potty train; no diapers to change over years. (11:48)
- Pushes back on the “babies are the future” point, noting dogs can also have purposeful lives. (11:55)
- Quick humor, including: “If you put a diaper on me you're gonna lose a finger, lady.” (07:57)
4. Declaration of Greatness (Puppies: Brant Miller)
- Brant uses a movie trailer spoof to open: “In a world where there are no tails wagging, no slobbery kisses, no yips or yaps. … There's no such thing as puppies.” (12:54–13:51)
- Arguments for puppies:
- 23,000+ year history of humans and dogs; puppies have evolved special muscles to make “puppy dog eyes” that wolves can’t. (15:07)
- Puppies are ready for fun, snuggles, and companionship within weeks; babies are “squishy potato-shaped cutie pies for months before they can do much.” (15:45)
- Puppies can be quickly trained; less time/fuss than baby parenting. (16:26)
- Heartfelt message: “Why not love both? ... A world without puppies. That's no world for me.” (17:21)
- Judge Coco loves the horror-movie opening and the history/fact about dogs’ evolution of expressive eyebrows. (17:30)
- Anna’s rebuttal: She notes Brant didn’t adopt a puppy but a grown dog—implying puppies are too much to handle! (17:52)
- Sweet family moment: Anna reminds Brant both their kids’ first words were “Dad.” (18:22)
5. Micro Round: Rapid-Fire Facts
Each debater presents mini-arguments with cool facts.
Puppies (Brant)
- Dogs come in many sizes and roles: therapy, assistance, search & rescue, even disease detection like cancer. (22:47)
- Largest puppy litter was 24 puppies; imagine “six puppies on your lap.” (24:01)
- Some puppies are born with greenish fur—a rare, cool phenomenon. (24:49)
Babies (Anna)
- Babies are born with around 100 more bones than adults; “super skeletons.” (23:12)
- Babies' eye color can change after birth—“like slowly unwrapping a gift.” (24:16)
- Babies learn language in the womb, recognize voices/songs; touching family anecdote involving their daughter Luna. (25:12)
- Anna jokes about less-than-glamorous dog duties: “Maybe you prefer expressing our dog's butt glands weekly. I guess dogs are better, Brant.” (25:45)
- Judge Coco: Loved the facts about green puppies (“alien puppies”) and babies' extra bones—right up her “horror movie” alley. (26:10)
6. Sneak Attack: "Secret Society"
Debaters improvise a secret society devoted to their side:
- Anna’s BAS (Baby Appreciation Society):
- Members: All dogs
- Clubhouse: Kitchen floor under the table
- Handshake: Two paws together, chant:
"Eat your dinner,
Spill your dinner,
Give us your dinner,
Thank you, baby." - Ritual: Celebrate babies dropping food for dogs (27:49)
- Brant’s Puppos of the Full Moon:
- Club for “humans who act like dogs”
- Handshake: Licking another member’s hand
- Meetings: Rotating dog parks; singing “How Much Is That Doggy in the Secret Society Window”
- Ritual: Howling at moon, chewing rawhide (29:02)
- Both secret societies are playful, with Anna’s baby-centric one winning big laughs.
- Judge Coco (34:04): “The sneak attack really won me over for babies. I thought it was very funny.”
7. Final Six (Six-Word Summations)
- Brant (Puppies): “Babies make me exhausted. Puppy parade.” (30:55)
- Anna (Babies): “Someday a baby might cure cancer.” (31:10)
- Coco awards the final point.
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- Anna (on baby cuteness): “Scientists think we evolved to find all this adorable so that we pay attention to and help little babies. … win, win.” (06:39)
- Brant (on dog skills): “With their incredible sense of smells, dogs can even help detect diseases like cancer before doctors can.” (22:47)
- Coco (on micro round): “The puppies with green fur because they remind me of aliens… And the babies that have, like, more than 100 bones than us, right now, very interesting to me. They fuse together like a robot.” (26:10)
- Anna (secret society chant):
“Eat your dinner. Spill your dinner. Give us your dinner. Thank you, baby.” (27:49) - Brant (secret handshake): “You walk up to another member and you proceed to lick their hand.” (29:08)
- Anna (touching wrap-up): “You have given me dog. You have given me babies. … How lucky am I? And you did a great job. And you did a great job, too.” (32:16)
- Brant (gratitude): “Anna, you did such a good job, not just on all of this, but on making some of the greatest babies in the world. So you're good at that as well. You're also a really good dog mom.” (32:40)
Results & Winner
- Judge Coco voted 3-2 for Babies.
- The sneak attack (secret society) round was the deciding factor!
- “The sneak attack really won me over for babies. I thought it was very funny.” (32:04)
- In true Smash Boom Best fashion, both debaters exchanged heartfelt accolades for each other's parenting and pet-raising skills.
Timestamps for Major Segments
- 00:57 — Debate topic introduced: Babies vs. Puppies
- 04:35 — Declaration of Greatness: Babies (Anna Wegel)
- 10:51 — Rebuttal: Puppies (Brant Miller)
- 12:54 — Declaration of Greatness: Puppies (Brant Miller)
- 17:52 — Rebuttal: Babies (Anna Wegel)
- 22:34 — Micro Round: Rapid-Fire Facts
- 27:40 — Sneak Attack: Secret Society
- 30:43 — Final Six: Six-Word Summaries
- 31:39 — Winner Announced: Babies
Overall Tone and Style
The tone is fun, witty, and warm—full of playful jabs, quick comebacks, and genuine emotion. Both debaters use humor and heart, involving personal anecdotes and creative scenarios. Judge Coco keeps things lively and adds her own quirky flavor, while Molly Bloom’s facilitation makes the debate accessible and entertaining for kids and families.
In Conclusion
Smash Boom Best: Babies vs. Puppies is both a rollicking debate and a family love letter. The episode covers science, history, empathy, and everyday experience in a package that keeps everyone laughing and learning. While the babies claimed victory, listeners are left rooting for both sides—and ready to keep the debate going on their own!