Babies vs. Puppies

Summary

Smash Boom Best: Babies vs. Puppies

Podcast: Smash Boom Best (Brains On Universe)
Host: Molly Bloom
Debaters: Anna Wegel (babies), Brant Miller (puppies)
Judge: Coco from Claremont, CA
Date: December 4, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this adorable and lively episode of Smash Boom Best, the debate is “Babies vs. Puppies.” Both are the ultimate symbols of cuteness and love, but which is truly the best? Debaters Anna Wegel (Team Babies) and Brant Miller (Team Puppies)—who happen to be married and parents to both children and a dog—face off to win over the judge, Coco, and listeners at home. With jokes, fun facts, spontaneous challenges, and heartfelt moments, the episode explores what makes babies and puppies special, touching on science, personal experience, and plenty of giggles.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introductions and Stakes

• Host Molly Bloom introduces the debate: "Today we've got an episode that's sure to make you go, aw. Two cute and cuddly creatures are battling to win your heart. It's babies versus puppies." (00:57)
• The context is set—the debaters are married, with perspectives as parents and dog owners, promising “heated debate.” (01:46)
• Judge Coco shares her impartiality, stating she loves both babies and her (sometimes mean) dog. She gives debaters a tip: "I like to laugh, so, you know, that might help you tickle the funny bone." (03:43)

2. Declaration of Greatness (Babies: Anna Wegel)

• Anna opens with a surprise: a loving endorsement of babies from Brant’s own mother:
  "When I first laid eyes on my baby boy, I felt complete. ... I love you, dear son. My incredible, sweet Brant Miller." (05:05)
• Points made for babies:
  • Babies are "sophisticated learning machines." The human brain triples in size in the first three years (06:20)
  • Humans are hardwired to find babies cute for evolutionary reasons—big eyes, squishy limbs, little noises. (06:39)
  • Babies’ cuteness may even “out-cute” puppies because our affection for puppies is rooted in their baby-like features. (07:12)
  • Babies are creative, empathic, and imaginative, not just “pooping and crying.” (07:35)
  • Babies are easier to contain (cribs, carriers, arms) and sleep up to 17 hours/day, while puppies are "storms of destruction." (07:57)
  • Babies are "our future," growing up to take care of us and the world. Puppies become “just a dog.” (09:03)
  • Great closing: “Today’s babies are going to take care of us someday. ... It's truly the circle of life.” (09:27)
  • Notable quote: “Playing with a baby is an investment in the future of the universe.” (09:03)
  • Memorable baby quote: “Goo goo blerp. And doesn't that really say at all?” (10:16)
• Judge Coco responds: She appreciates the brain facts and cuteness argument. (10:23)

3. Rebuttal (Puppies: Brant Miller)

• Brant reacts to Anna's tactics: "To start. Anna, you brought my mom into this?" (10:51)
• Counters that puppies are also cute and make sweet noises.
• Argues puppies are easier/faster to potty train; no diapers to change over years. (11:48)
• Pushes back on the “babies are the future” point, noting dogs can also have purposeful lives. (11:55)
• Quick humor, including: “If you put a diaper on me you're gonna lose a finger, lady.” (07:57)

4. Declaration of Greatness (Puppies: Brant Miller)

• Brant uses a movie trailer spoof to open: “In a world where there are no tails wagging, no slobbery kisses, no yips or yaps. … There's no such thing as puppies.” (12:54–13:51)
• Arguments for puppies:
  • 23,000+ year history of humans and dogs; puppies have evolved special muscles to make “puppy dog eyes” that wolves can’t. (15:07)
  • Puppies are ready for fun, snuggles, and companionship within weeks; babies are “squishy potato-shaped cutie pies for months before they can do much.” (15:45)
  • Puppies can be quickly trained; less time/fuss than baby parenting. (16:26)
  • Heartfelt message: “Why not love both? ... A world without puppies. That's no world for me.” (17:21)
  • Judge Coco loves the horror-movie opening and the history/fact about dogs’ evolution of expressive eyebrows. (17:30)
• Anna’s rebuttal: She notes Brant didn’t adopt a puppy but a grown dog—implying puppies are too much to handle! (17:52)
• Sweet family moment: Anna reminds Brant both their kids’ first words were “Dad.” (18:22)

5. Micro Round: Rapid-Fire Facts

Each debater presents mini-arguments with cool facts.

Puppies (Brant)

• Dogs come in many sizes and roles: therapy, assistance, search & rescue, even disease detection like cancer. (22:47)
• Largest puppy litter was 24 puppies; imagine “six puppies on your lap.” (24:01)
• Some puppies are born with greenish fur—a rare, cool phenomenon. (24:49)

Babies (Anna)

• Babies are born with around 100 more bones than adults; “super skeletons.” (23:12)
• Babies' eye color can change after birth—“like slowly unwrapping a gift.” (24:16)
• Babies learn language in the womb, recognize voices/songs; touching family anecdote involving their daughter Luna. (25:12)
• Anna jokes about less-than-glamorous dog duties: “Maybe you prefer expressing our dog's butt glands weekly. I guess dogs are better, Brant.” (25:45)
• Judge Coco: Loved the facts about green puppies (“alien puppies”) and babies' extra bones—right up her “horror movie” alley. (26:10)

6. Sneak Attack: "Secret Society"

Debaters improvise a secret society devoted to their side:

• Anna’s BAS (Baby Appreciation Society):
  • Members: All dogs
  • Clubhouse: Kitchen floor under the table
  • Handshake: Two paws together, chant:
    "Eat your dinner,
    Spill your dinner,
    Give us your dinner,
    Thank you, baby."
  • Ritual: Celebrate babies dropping food for dogs (27:49)
• Brant’s Puppos of the Full Moon:
  • Club for “humans who act like dogs”
  • Handshake: Licking another member’s hand
  • Meetings: Rotating dog parks; singing “How Much Is That Doggy in the Secret Society Window”
  • Ritual: Howling at moon, chewing rawhide (29:02)
• Both secret societies are playful, with Anna’s baby-centric one winning big laughs.
• Judge Coco (34:04): “The sneak attack really won me over for babies. I thought it was very funny.”

7. Final Six (Six-Word Summations)

• Brant (Puppies): “Babies make me exhausted. Puppy parade.” (30:55)
• Anna (Babies): “Someday a baby might cure cancer.” (31:10)
• Coco awards the final point.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Anna (on baby cuteness): “Scientists think we evolved to find all this adorable so that we pay attention to and help little babies. … win, win.” (06:39)
• Brant (on dog skills): “With their incredible sense of smells, dogs can even help detect diseases like cancer before doctors can.” (22:47)
• Coco (on micro round): “The puppies with green fur because they remind me of aliens… And the babies that have, like, more than 100 bones than us, right now, very interesting to me. They fuse together like a robot.” (26:10)
• Anna (secret society chant):
  “Eat your dinner. Spill your dinner. Give us your dinner. Thank you, baby.” (27:49)
• Brant (secret handshake): “You walk up to another member and you proceed to lick their hand.” (29:08)
• Anna (touching wrap-up): “You have given me dog. You have given me babies. … How lucky am I? And you did a great job. And you did a great job, too.” (32:16)
• Brant (gratitude): “Anna, you did such a good job, not just on all of this, but on making some of the greatest babies in the world. So you're good at that as well. You're also a really good dog mom.” (32:40)

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Results & Winner

• Judge Coco voted 3-2 for Babies.
  • The sneak attack (secret society) round was the deciding factor!
  • “The sneak attack really won me over for babies. I thought it was very funny.” (32:04)
  • In true Smash Boom Best fashion, both debaters exchanged heartfelt accolades for each other's parenting and pet-raising skills.

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• 00:57 — Debate topic introduced: Babies vs. Puppies
• 04:35 — Declaration of Greatness: Babies (Anna Wegel)
• 10:51 — Rebuttal: Puppies (Brant Miller)
• 12:54 — Declaration of Greatness: Puppies (Brant Miller)
• 17:52 — Rebuttal: Babies (Anna Wegel)
• 22:34 — Micro Round: Rapid-Fire Facts
• 27:40 — Sneak Attack: Secret Society
• 30:43 — Final Six: Six-Word Summaries
• 31:39 — Winner Announced: Babies

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Overall Tone and Style

The tone is fun, witty, and warm—full of playful jabs, quick comebacks, and genuine emotion. Both debaters use humor and heart, involving personal anecdotes and creative scenarios. Judge Coco keeps things lively and adds her own quirky flavor, while Molly Bloom’s facilitation makes the debate accessible and entertaining for kids and families.

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In Conclusion

Smash Boom Best: Babies vs. Puppies is both a rollicking debate and a family love letter. The episode covers science, history, empathy, and everyday experience in a package that keeps everyone laughing and learning. While the babies claimed victory, listeners are left rooting for both sides—and ready to keep the debate going on their own!

Transcript

[A]

Lemonade.

[B]

Brains on Universe.

[A]

Have you heard the news? Smashboom Best is now independent. We're so excited to be back with an epic new season. And it's all thanks to our SmartyPass members. They're the big hearted helpers who power us by [e-mail] you can be one of them. Your support helps pay our debaters and sound designers so we can keep making the fun and fact filled shows your family loves. Plus, you get ad free versions of all of our shows. Bonus stuff and access to virtual hangs with me, Molly Again, that's smartypass.org thank you, thank you, thank you. Now, on with the show.

[C]

From the brains behind Brains On. It's Smash Boom Best, the show for.

[B]

People with big opinions.

[A]

Hi, I'm Molly Bloom and this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. Today we've got an episode that's sure to make you go, aw. Two cute and cuddly creatures are battling to win your heart. It's babies versus puppies. We've got smashboom Best producer, Anna Wegel here to rep bouncing, blushing babies.

[C]

What's up, former babies? You were a baby and you were a baby. And look at us now.

[A]

And he's an actor, he's an animator, he's Stepp up for Pups. It's Brant Miller.

[D]

I'm tired of changing so many dirty diapers. Bring on the puppy love.

[A]

And this is an interesting matchup today because Brant and Anna, you're actually married and have two kids and a dog, right?

[C]

Yeah. Ew, gross.

[D]

This is all true.

[A]

They are married. It's going to make for some heated debate, I'm sure. And here to judge it all is Coco from Claremont, California. Coco plays water polo, has a dog, but also loves babies, enjoys horror movies, rocks the drums, and recently had her wisdom teeth out. Hi, Coco.

[B]

Hi, Molly. Thanks for having me.

[A]

Oh my gosh. Thank you for being here. So, Coco, can you explain what water polo is to someone who might not know?

[B]

Well, it's kind of like soccer in the water. Like, whoa. Instead of running, you're swimming, and instead of using your feet to kick the ball, you're throwing the ball to other people. It's pretty fun.

[A]

That's incredible. And also amazing because, like, you guys are treading water like the whole time, right?

[B]

Yeah. And I'm. I'm a goalie, so I'm in the pool the whole game.

[A]

What?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How long are the games?

[B]

So there's four quarters. And each quarter is six minutes, so that's 24 minutes.

[A]

24 minutes of treading water. That is very, very impressive. And okay, so you got your wisdom teeth out.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

How did you recover?

[B]

I stayed home and I laid in bed for a very long time. I ate a lot of jello. So much jello and whipped cream.

[A]

Oh, delicious. Is there a particular flavor of Jell O that you were into?

[B]

I think it's cherry. It's whatever the red one is.

[A]

The red one. Delicious. Okay, so you like babies and dogs. So are you evenly split on them right now?

[B]

I would say yeah. I mean, I think babies are pretty cute. I have a dog, but sometimes she's mean to me.

[A]

Oh, interesting. So do you have any advice for our debaters today?

[B]

You know, I like to laugh, so, you know, that might help you tickle the funny bone.

[A]

Will Coco side with Anna or Brant? Only time will tell. But first, here are the rules of the game. Every debate consists of four. The declaration of greatness, the micro round, the sneak attack, and the final six. After each round, our judge Coco will award points to the team that impresses her the most. But she'll keep her decisions top secret until the end of the debate. Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website, smashboom.org and vote for whichever team you think won. Okay, Grant, Coco, and Anna, are you ready?

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Let's do this.

[A]

Woof, woof.

[D]

I am ready.

[A]

Then it's time for the declaration of greatness. In this round, our debaters will present a well crafted immersive argument in favor of their side. Then they'll each have 30 seconds to rebut their opponent's statements. We flipped a coin. And Anna, you're up first. Tell us what makes babies the apple of your eye.

[C]

To get the scoop on how great babies are, I phoned someone who absolutely loved a certain little bundle of joy.

[A]

When I first laid eyes on my baby boy, I felt complete. I felt I understood the meaning of my life. He was the most beautiful baby, the most perfect baby. He would bring us joy. When moments were were difficult, he would show us the path that we didn't know even existed. I love you, dear son. My incredible, sweet Brant Miller.

[C]

That's right. That baby endorsement came from none other than my competitor's mother herself. Thanks, Brant's mom. And I get what she's saying.

I'm a mom and I have never loved anything like I love my babies. They taught me to see the world with new eyes. Because to babies, everything is new. Babies are sophisticated learning machines. Did you know the human brain triples in size in the first three years of life? Being around that much development is fun and exhilarating.

And do not get me started on how cute they are. Oh, wait, this is a debate. Do get me started. Because humans are hardwired to find babies cute, from their big eyes to their squishy limbs to the little noises they make.

Scientists think we evolved to find all this adorable so that we pay attention to and help little babies. They get taken care of, and we get to go, aw, win, win.

But I'm a little puppy, and I'm cute, too. Sure. But some researchers think the whole reason we find puppies and other small things cute is because they remind us of babies. In our brains, babies are always number one.

Sorry, puppy. And babies don't just poop and cry. No, no, no, no. Babies are capable of abstract thinking, empathy, imagination, and even art. Sometimes that art comes in the form of markers on the walls. But, hey, they think outside the box because they don't even know what a box is. Brilliant.

One of the things I was most concerned about when I knew I was going to become a mom was, you know, the baby's messy bodily functions. But let me tell you, if you have to have a newborn in your life, let it be a human kind. Babies wear diapers 24 7. Try doing that with a puppy.

Put a diaper on me and you're gonna lose a finger, lady. Plus, babies are easy to contain. They spend most of their life in a crib or a carrier or in your arms. And they sleep up to 17 hours a day. Meanwhile, puppies are storms of destruction. Chewing shoes, peeing on furniture, tracking dirt, sharing your Disney plus passwords with strangers. Wait, scratch that last one. The real reason you should vote Team Baby is that babies are our future. Picture a baby. Cute, right? Well, that baby might be a teacher someday. Or a veterinarian. Or a lumberjack. Or a garbage collector. Or a science innovator. Or a podcast host like Molly Bloom, who, rumor has it, was once a baby. Now picture a puppy. One day, that puppy will become a dog. That's it? Just a dog?

I love dogs. I have a dog. But playing with a dog is just that. Playing with a baby is an investment in the future of the universe. Today's babies are going to take care of us someday. Our nurses, doctors, our caregivers, our geriatric Zumba instructors. It's truly the circle of life.

I've debated on smashboom best roughly 18 times. It's usually a real toss up, because what does better even mean? But this time, I can say with my entire heart that babies are better than puppies. Right, Brandt's mom.

[A]

Brandt, I love you, but I gotta side with your wife on this one.

[C]

She gave me two new grandbabies to love. Babies are brilliant, adorable, and they're our future. To quote one of the many, many amazing babies I've met. Goo goo blerp. And doesn't that really say at all?

[A]

Goo goo blerp. Indeed. Coco, what stood out to you about Anna's declaration of greatness?

[B]

I really liked all the facts she put in about the human brain getting bigger by three times in the first three years. I thought that was interesting. And then, of course, they're very cute, so got to take that into account.

[A]

Indeed. Okay, Brant, it is time for your rebuttal. Tell us why babies are less goo goo and more Ew. Ew. You've got 30 seconds and your time starts now.

[D]

Okay, okay. To start. Anna, you brought my mom into this?

[C]

She loved it.

[D]

Okay, okay, okay. You came to play, I see. All right, well, first, puppies make little noises too. You said that babies do. Puppies. They go ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh. You know, also puppies, you talked about pooping. They don't just poop and cry. Well, puppies poop outside and babies poop inside, but not in a toilet. Also, you said babies are our future, but dogs our future. They're not just dogs. Dogs can act. They.

Do a lot.

[C]

I'm sorry, Brant, would you cast our dog in a show?

[D]

Absolutely not. Unless it was like a prank show or something where the dog was not behaving whatsoever.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Fair.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

I mean, okay, but I'm sorry. Show me a puppy that, like, knows to go outside. Like, that would be an anomaly. A puppy genius.

[D]

But they learn quick. You know, like, we.

[A]

We.

[D]

We haven't even started potty training our little one. Um, but you can train a puppy really quick to go outside.

[C]

Yeah, but in the. In the span of his entire life. You know, it's not that much time. In the span of a dog's life. Two months. Two of the worst months of your life. We are trying to potty train that thing.

[D]

Why are we so focused on their time? And your own time? I mean, two years is a long time for me to be changing dirty Dia.

[C]

Okay, I will give you that. You are the only diaper changer in this house.

[A]

I will.

[D]

Thank you. That is True.

[A]

Okay, Anna called in a favor from Brandt's mom. Incredible. Brant, you will have a chance to bark back right after the break, so stay tuned.

[D]

Smash. Boom.

[A]

Best. We're back with smashboom. Best Babies versus Puppies. Okay, Brant, it is your turn. Tell us why these furry friends are forever your fave.

[D]

In a world where there are no tails wagging, no slobbery kisses, no yips or yaps. Okay, I know it's a bold choice to start with a movie trailer on an audio podcast, but that's what imagination is for. Picture this. It's a beautiful morning in Sunnyvale Heights. But underneath the surface, something is very, very wrong.

[B]

Mom, mom, guess what? Paxton Braxton across the street said that their dad was getting a puppy.

[C]

Can we get a puppy?

[A]

A puppy?

[C]

Oh, sweetie, they're just pulling your leg.

[B]

Can you know puppies aren't real.

[C]

What?

[B]

Just like unicorns, kiddo.

[C]

Hmm? There's no such thing.

As puppies.

[D]

Coming this summer to a horror film festival near you. It's the world without puppies.

Yikes. No such thing as puppies. Terrifying.

I'm going to address the elephant in the puppy versus baby room right away. It's true. I'm here to tell you how splendid and fantastic puppies are. But. But I want to make one thing super duper pooper scooper clear. I have two beautiful little children. I love them so much. And my opponent may say that it's absurd to call puppies better than babies. Our babies that we have together. To that I say hear me out.

I'm not saying that I would rather have puppies than children. I'm just here to say that puppies are incredible. I'm totally a dog guy. I grew up with dogs and I love them. And I come from a long, long history of dog loving people. We all do.

See, the ancestors of dogs were some very hungry and very clever wild wolves who realized that if they hung out with humans, they got free food and a nice warm fire to snooze next to. That was more than 23,000 years ago. In all that time, dogs and humans became really good at communicating with each other. Ever seen a dog do those? Super cute. Please give me one of your chicken nuggets. Puppy dog eyes. They can do that. Because dogs evolved a special muscle above their eyes that lets them be expressive with their little doggy eyebrows. Wolves can't do that.

A puppy and a baby are both a huge time commitment. I spend a whole lot of my time doing dad stuff with my kiddos. But let's Be honest. Babies take a long time to grow before they're fun to play with. They're squishy potato shaped cutie pies for months before they can do much more than eat, sleep, poop and drool. And because they're so squishy, they need constant attention to make sure they're safe, healthy and happy. Just the other day, I turned my back on my son Remy for one second and he proceeded to pick up a tiny pumpkin and drop it on his toes immediately.

That's how much attention they need. Puppies, on the other hand, are ready to snuggle and play and be your best buddy within a few weeks of being born. If you spend just a little time potty training them, they'll do their business outside with no stinky diapers to change the drooling. Well, it's pretty much the same actually. At the end of the day, it all boils down to this. Why not love both? I have plenty of room in my big ol heart for puppies and babies. Having more love in your life is never a bad idea. Puppies and babies are both really special and can add to our lives in so many ways. A world without puppies. That's no world for me.

[A]

Oh, a heartwarming declaration of greatness there for the furry, furry cuties known as puppies. Coco, what stood out to you about Brant's declaration of greatness?

[B]

Well, I really like that beginning with the horror movie trailer. And I also like that little background on how we became friends with dogs.

[A]

Yes, very, very good. All right Anna, it is time for your rebuttal. You've got 30 seconds to tell us why Brant is barking up the wrong tree. And your time starts now.

[C]

Oh, a world without puppies. Terrifying. But not terrifying enough for you because you adopted our dog when she was already a full grown woman. Probably because you secretly did not want a puppy. Because for as cute as they are, they're difficult and they bite really hard with razor sharp teeth and they pee on your kizzix your beloved shoes. Babies. Yeah, they take a long time to grow up. Yes, but they are adore us. And I have a question for you Brant. Pop quiz. What was both of our kids first words?

[D]

Dad.

[C]

Dad. Dad. That's right.

[A]

Because they love you.

[D]

Okay, I rescued our dog. Yes, she wasn't a puppy, but she was a full dog home. So let's not shame me for giving our dog a beautiful home because she wasn't young enough to. She had puppy energy, I'll say that.

[A]

All right, Coco, it is time to Award some points.

[C]

Please.

[A]

Give one point to the declaration of greatness that you liked best, and then one point to the rebuttal that won you over. You get to decide what makes a winning argument. Did one team's jokes make you giggle? Was another team's logic impeccable? Award your points, but don't tell us who they're going to.

Have you made your decision?

[B]

I have.

[A]

Excellent. Brant and Anna, how are your two feeling so far?

[C]

I'm feeling confident and I'm feeling like I want to check in on Brand's feelings because I'm going really hard on him right now. So much.

[D]

You're going so hard.

[C]

Are you okay?

[D]

I can take it. I can take it. Just a little bit more, though. Just a little bit more.

[A]

A little more.

[C]

Okay, got it.

[A]

I mean, you did bring his mom into it, so. I know.

All right, it's time for a quick break. Let your pups out for a potty break and double check that diaper.

[B]

And we'll be right back with more smashboom Best.

[C]

You're listening to State of Debate, home to ragin rhetoric and awe inspiring argumentation. Hi, debate heads.

[A]

I'm Taylor Lincoln, here with my bestie.

[C]

From the Westie, Todd Douglas.

[D]

Hey, Tay. Money. You'll never believe what I overheard at the soda shop the other day.

[A]

Soda shop? What year is it?

[D]

Two workers were gossiping about summer sales, the drama, and one was using a whopper of a logical fallacy. Those are debate no nos that make your argument easy to defeat. Let's listen in.

[C]

All right, Betty, I'm gonna head out for the day.

[A]

I'm beat.

[C]

Okay, but you might want to take an umbrella with Eugenie.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Is it gonna rain?

[C]

Probably, but not what you're thinking. Is it gonna rain something else?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Every summer when our sales go up, more bird poop falls out of the sky. Oh no, my perm. Just run to your Thunderbird as fast as you can and try not to get hit by a flying splat. But Betty, what do our ice cream sales have to do with bird turds?

[A]

Well, the more ice cream we sell.

[C]

Sell, the more birds poop on unsuspecting ice cream enjoyers and employees. So all I'm saying is you gotta be careful out there.

[D]

Oof. Betty just used a correlation fallacy. That's when you think one thing causes another, but the relationship is actually totally random.

[A]

Right. And even though the soda shop sales.

[C]

Do go up in the summer, when.

[A]

There are more tourists in town, there are also more birds around in the summer.

[D]

And more birds means more chances for flying splat, as they say. But one doesn't cause the other.

[A]

Phew.

[C]

Because I love ice cream, but I.

[A]

Don'T love bird poop.

[D]

I'll remember that for your birthday. See you next time on State of Debate.

[A]

Best. Smash. Smash.

You're listening to Snatch Boom. Best. I'm your host, Molly Bloom.

[B]

And I'm your judge, Coco.

[A]

And we love getting debate suggestions from our listeners like this one.

[B]

Hi, my name is Kenndie Wright. My debate idea is summer versus winter. A seasonal showdown.

[C]

Very cool. Or hot.

[A]

We'll check back in at the end of this episode to see which side Kennan thinks should win.

[B]

And now it's back to our debate. Babies versus puppies.

[A]

That's right. And it's time for round two. The.

Micro round. In this micro round, Brant and Anna will each get three chances to make a microargument backed by a cool fact. Anna went first. Last. So Brant, you start us off.

[D]

Okay. First, dogs come in tons of different sizes. Because in the thousands of years that we've been pals, humans have needed different kinds of help from dogs. They today, dogs can work on a farm, comfort people as therapy. Animals act as guides for people who can't move around on their own and find people who are lost or hurt. With their incredible sense of smells, dogs can even help detect diseases like cancer before doctors can.

[C]

Here, I'll throw you a bone, Brandt. A bone fact. Babies have around 100 more bones than adults do. Adults have a little over 200 bones and babies can have up to 3. 300. That's cuz as they grow, the smaller bones fuse to become one larger bone. So when you're holding a baby, you're actually holding a magnificent, adorable, super skeleton.

[D]

All right, what's cuter than a puppy? Try 24 puppies. That's the record for the biggest litter of puppies in history. Yeah, but even a non record breaking litter almost always includes several pups. Because the more the merrier, right? Imagine having six puppies on your lap.

[A]

Huh?

[D]

Adorable and possible. Imagine six babies. Chaos impossible. Case closed.

[C]

Babies have incredible color changing eyes. So many are born with a baby blue or lightish gray set of eyes. But this can change over the first year of life. That's cuz after they're born, they're exposed to light which creates pigment and that adds color. So it's like slowly unwrapping a gift, finding out what soulful shade of eye your little one will gaze at you with. Now Brant, one of our kids has Brown eyes like yours. And the other has green eyes like mine. Isn't that kind of them? One for each of us.

[A]

Magic.

[D]

It's magic. Speaking of color, some puppies are born with greenish fur. This is likely due to this liquid from inside their mama's belly. But also, how cool is a green puppy? A green baby. If your baby's green, I mean, that means something is wrong and you gotta see a dog or. Wicked.

[C]

Studies suggest babies start learning language in the womb, and then they come out being able to recognize a parent's voice. Brandt, do you remember when Luna was born and she recognized that, like, La Luna song that you used to sing to her? In my tummy. And then she stopped crying? One of the best moments of your life, right? Or maybe not. Sorry. Maybe you prefer expressing our dog's butt glands on a weekly basis. I guess dogs are better, Brant.

[D]

Okay.

You brought up the glands.

[C]

They had to come in. They had to.

[A]

You'd be surprised how many times it comes up in debates. You brought up the glands.

Oh, man. Wow. Fast and furious facts there. Incredible. Okay, Coco, what stood out to you about this micro round?

[B]

This micro round, I liked the. The puppies with green fur because they remind me of aliens. That's pretty cool. Alien puppies and the babies that have, like, more than 100 bones than us right now is very interesting to me. I think that's very cool. And they fuse together like. Like a robot.

[A]

I feel like both of those facts. The green puppies and the many, many bones, like, feed into your love of horror movies. Kind of true.

[B]

That'.

[A]

All right, Coco, it's time to award a point. But don't tell us who it's going to. Criteria are totally subjective and totally up to you.

Have you made your decision?

[B]

I have.

[A]

Fantastic. Then it's time for our third round. The super stealthy Sneak attack. This is our improvised round where debaters have to respond to a challenge on the spot. Today's sneak attack is called Secret Society. Pretend there is a secret group of people who meet to honor your side. Tell us what rituals they do. Maybe describe their clubhouse. Do they have a handshake or a song they sing to kick off meetings? What's their secret society called? Tell us about the secret society dedicated to your side debaters. Does this make sense?

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

Wonderful. Okay, Anna, we're gonna start with you. Let's hear about your secret society of baby fans.

[C]

Okay.

This society is called the BAS it stands for Baby Appreciation Society. It is made entirely of dogs. Okay. Where their clubhouse is, is the kitchen Floor underneath the table. And they have their handshake is they put two paws together and then they hold them there as they chant, eat your dinner. Spill your dinner. Give us your dinner. Thank you, baby. And they just do that over and over. And then as the baby eats dinner, tiny morsels of food. And throws most of it on the floor, they get to have the best dinner of their lives. Okay. They get to have creamed corn. They get to have milk. They get to have those pouches that babies love. Little crackers. Oh, it's wonderful. The bas.

[A]

The B. A S. What a chant. I love it. All right, Brant, it is your turn. Let's hear your clandestine club for pup aficionados.

[D]

You've been invited to join Puppos of the Full Moon.

We have a secret handshake that I'm gonna have to teach you. You walk up to another member and you proceed to lick their hand. Meeting places. Oh, you know, different dog parks around town.

We no longer sniff each other's bottoms. That has been band.

We have a lot of songs. You know, How Much Is that Doggy in the Secret Society Window? Stuff like that. And of course, we end every night howling at the moon and chewing on rawhide.

[A]

I have a question. Is this a secret society for dogs or humans?

[D]

It's for humans.

Who are really into dogs and acting like dogs.

[C]

I was wondering where you go at night. Brant, this explains a lot.

[D]

Oh, yeah. Puppos of the Full Moon. They're great. They're my friends, so.

[A]

Oh, wow. Wow. Both incredible secret societies that we're all just clamoring to join. Okay, Coco, please think about which side impressed you the most and award your fourth point. Did Bas get you or Puppos of the Full Moon?

Have you made your decision?

[B]

I have.

[A]

Wonderful. Then it's time for our final round.

[C]

The final six.

[A]

In this round, each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. Brandt, let's hear your six words for those. Paw. Some Puppies.

[D]

Babies make me exhausted.

Puppy parade.

[A]

Excellent work. Okay, Anna, it is your turn. Give us six words on why babies are best.

[C]

Someday a baby might cure cancer.

[A]

Okay, Coco, please award a final point for this final six.

Have you made your decision?

[B]

My decision is made.

[A]

Okay, are you ready to crown one team the Smashboom Best?

[B]

I think I am.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. All right, drum roll, please. And the winner is.

[C]

Babies.

[D]

Aw, doggone it.

My dog is actually sitting right next to me. Sorry, Cece.

She looks very disappointed.

[C]

Actually, no. She knew it was always going to be this way.

[A]

She's part of that baby secret society. So it's true.

[C]

She benefits from food on the floor every single day.

[A]

So, Coco, was there a moment that decided things for you? Was it close? Tell us.

[B]

Yeah, I think the points were 2 to 3, so.

I think the sneak attack really won me over for babies. I thought it was very funny.

[A]

Very funny. Very good.

[C]

Oh, my God. I'm gonna try not to cry because Brant Miller, you did such an amazing job. And when I zoom out on my life, you have given me dog. You have given me babies. Like how this is not a loss. This is just a win for both of us. How lucky am I? And you did a great job. And you did a great job, too.

[D]

Thank you. Anna, you did such a good job, not just on all of this, but on making some of the greatest babies in the world. So you're good at that as well. You're also a really good dog mom.

[C]

Thanks.

[A]

Well, that's it for today's debate battle. Coco crowned babies the smashboom best. But what about you?

[B]

Head to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who you think won't.

[A]

This episode was produced by me, Molly Bloom, Xana Daughton, and Mark Sanchez. It was sound designed by Mark Sanchez, and he also wrote our theme song. Special thanks to Dieta Miller, Vicki Lintour, and Izzy. Our announcer is Marlee Feuerwerker Otto. And we want to give a super duper special thanks to Austin Cross and Taylor Kaufman. Anna, is there anyone you'd like to give a shout out to today?

[C]

Oh, my gosh. Seven people that live directly in my heart. Molly, Mark and Sandon and Luna, Remy, Brandt, and Cece. Thank you so much.

[A]

I love being in your heart. Okay, Brant, what about you? Any special shout outs?

[D]

Luna, Remy, and Anna. Just fill this heart and this home. And then Cece over here for being the best dog I've ever had and teaching me how to love a dog.

[A]

Oh, cuties. All right, Coco, how about you? Any special special thanks or shout outs?

[B]

I want to shout out the best dad, Mark Sanchez, and the best mom, Vicki Lentour, and also my friends Charlie, Evelyn, Tatum, Quinn and Julia.

[A]

Today's episode is a family affair for real. Before we go, let's check in and see who Ken thinks should win the winter versus summer debate.

[B]

I think winter should win because you can be very cozy and you can.

[A]

Go do a lot of fun stuff in winter. And then in summer, it's really hot if you're between the ages of 13 and 18 and you'd like to be a judge. Or if you're any age and you have an idea for a knockdown drag out debate, head to smashboom.org contact and drop us a line. And if you're a fan of the show and want to keep it going, head to smartypast.org to subscribe. It makes a huge difference. We'll be back next week with a new Smashboom best episode. Harmonicas versus Glockenspiels. Bye.

[B]

See you later.

[C]

Bye bye baby.

[A]

Woof woof. Bye Bye.

[C]

Better than the rest. It's mashable wet.

[A]

Eat your dinner.

[C]

Fill your dinner. Give us your dinner.

[A]

Thank you, baby.