Bass 🐟 vs Bass 🎸

Summary

Smash Boom Best: Bass 🐟 vs. Bass 🎸

Podcast: Smash Boom Best (Brains On Universe)
Episode Air Date: February 26, 2026
Host: Molly Bloom
Debaters: Zach Rosen (Team Bass Guitar), Flora Lichtman (Team Bass Fish)
Judge: Emma from Austin, Texas

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Episode Overview

In this lively, kid-friendly debate, two very different “basses” go head to head:

• Bass 🎸: The backbone of modern music, bopping rhythms and deep grooves
• Bass 🐟: The shimmery, clever swimmers found in lakes, rivers, and seas

The debaters bring facts, wit, and personal stories to argue which "bass" is the smash boom best. Judge Emma, herself a young magician and musician, awards points for the most compelling arguments in each round—including Declaration of Greatness, Micro Rounds, a Sneak Attack, and the Final Six. Interactive and full of fun asides, the episode offers plenty for music lovers and fish fans alike!

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Main Segments and Key Points

1. Meet the Contestants

[00:55–01:44]

• Team Bass Guitar: Zach Rosen, podcaster and host
• Team Bass Fish: Flora Lichtman, Science Friday host
• Judge: Emma, Austin-based marching band member, magic camp counselor
  • Emma shares her love of jazz, magic, and clarinet—setting a playful, musical vibe.

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2. Declaration of Greatness

Bass Fish with Flora Lichtman

[04:32–09:18]

• Personal Story: Flora’s childhood fishing trips—“My favorite thing… was to go fishing with my grandparents in Maine.” [04:39]
• Variety of Bass: Largemouth, small mouth, striped, Georgia red eye, golden largemouth, and peacock bass.
  • “Paging the Metropolitan Museum of Art. We need a bass exhibit.” [06:51]
• Super Senses: Lateral line system detects vibrations and threats (“Can detect stuff like small vibrations in the water.” [07:16])
• Learning & Memory: Research suggests bass recognize and avoid familiar lures.
• Devoted Dads: Male bass build nests and fiercely protect offspring.
  • “Bass dads can spend weeks skipping meals to protect their nest.” [08:32]
• Notable Moment: Imaginary “what if” of asking a bass guitar for life advice (“That’s not helpful at all.” [09:00])
• Recap Quote: “For the win, choose the fin. They are officially the best.” [09:17]

Rebuttal by Zach Rosen (Bass Guitar)

[09:49–10:26]

• Musicians like Flea (Red Hot Chili Peppers), Bootsy, Thundercat, and Sting are “devoted bass dads.”
• Fishermen have boring names by comparison: “Kevin, Bill, Rick, and George.” [10:14]
• “Well, you might not have understood what that bass said when it was like, donk donk donk, but I heard exactly what he was saying.” [09:49]

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Bass Guitar with Zach Rosen

[12:37–16:36]

• What Is a Bass Guitar? Four strings, longer neck, thick strings—makes deep, “thumpy” sounds.
• Role in Music: The “heartbeat” of any song, glue of a band, pairs with drums to drive famous tunes.
  • “Check out how it pairs with drums on Queen’s ‘Another One Bites the Dust.’” [13:13]
• History: Evolved from upright/acoustic bass, revolutionized rock, Motown, and funk from the 1950s.
  • “It fundamentally changed music since its invention.” [14:36]
• Teamwork: Bass links all song parts, often subtle but essential.
• Science: Humans are more likely to notice mistakes in the lower frequencies—“biologically speaking, bass needs to be on point.” [15:34]
• Best of Both Worlds: “Bass is the Hannah Montana of instruments—because you get the best of both worlds.” [15:14]
• Cool Factor: “No ego, just the best haircut, the coolest fit, nodding their head along, laid back but steady…” [15:56]
• Notable Quote: “No bass, no heartbeat, no breath.” [27:31]

Rebuttal by Flora Lichtman (Bass Fish)

[17:12–17:44]

• “First of all, Zach, fish can scat. They scat a lot…” [17:12]
• “Bass guitar is just a regular guitar with fewer strings. It’s like an upright bass but smaller…”
• “Bass having the best haircut? I think we all know that’s not true…”
• Closing Zinger: “This is really a debate over beauty in the world…” [17:36]

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3. Micro Round: Parade of Facts

[21:09–24:00]

Each debater shares three fast facts:

Notable Bass Guitar Facts (Zach)

• YouTuber built a 69-string bass guitar, breaking a world record. [21:27]
• Legendary producer Quincy Jones: “Without the Fender bass, there’d be no rock and roll or Motown.” [22:00]
• The “Funk Machine,” James Jamerson’s lost Motown bass is an ongoing mystery (allegedly thrown in a lake!). [22:47]

Notable Bass Fish Facts (Flora)

• Black bass is apex predator of the pond, the “lead guitar” of freshwater lakes. [21:47]
• Eats crayfish, snakes, frogs… and even birds, mice, muskrats, bats (!). [22:24]
• The ultimate “magic trick”: they live underwater, in “a completely different world.” [23:27]

Emma’s take: Learned something new about both Quincy Jones’ praise for bass and wild things that bass fish eat.

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4. Sneak Attack: Turn the Tables

[25:09–26:56]

Prompt:

• If a bass fish were an instrument, what would it be and why? (Flora)
• If the bass guitar were an aquatic animal, what would it be and why? (Zach)

Best Responses:

• Flora: “If a bass were an instrument, it would be the clarinet…It can do so many things in a band. It can be the solo star, it can be hanging in the background, it can eat the muskrat, it can eat the crayfish…” [25:47]
• Zach: “We gotta go with an electric eel…They generate electric current and can shock you with their cool voltage…” [26:27]

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5. Final Six: Six-Word Summaries

[27:31–27:46]

• Zach (Bass Guitar): “No bass, no heartbeat, no breath.”
• Flora (Bass Fish): “Fancy super sensing, Datalicious underwater breathers. Amazing.”

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Notable Quotes & Fun Moments

• “For the win, choose the fin.” – Flora [09:17]
• “Fish can scat. They scat a lot.” – Flora [17:12]
• “Bass is the Hannah Montana of instruments—you get the best of both worlds.” – Zach [15:14]
• “Paging the Metropolitan Museum of Art. We need a bass exhibit.” – Flora [06:51]
• “No ego, just the best haircut, the coolest fit… just groovin'.” – Zach [15:56]

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Outcome: Who Won?

Bass Guitar wins!

• Judge Emma's Rationale: The micro round facts, especially the Quincy Jones quote and Red Hot Chili Peppers’ Flea, clinched it for the bass guitar.
  • “It was all of those facts in the micro round…and the Red Hot Chili Peppers—Flea did it!” [28:37]

Both debaters expressed new appreciation for each other's bass, citing the fun, informative debate and sharing mutual respect:

• “I learned a lot and I love bass now in a way I genuinely didn’t before.” – Zach [29:10]
• “I can’t wait to listen for it the next time I cue something up.” – Flora [29:24]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Meet Emma: [02:01]
• Declaration of Greatness Bass Fish: [04:32]
• Declaration of Greatness Bass Guitar: [12:37]
• Micro Round (Parade of Facts): [21:09]
• Sneak Attack: [25:09]
• Final Six: [27:31]
• Winner Announced: [28:16]

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Tone, Style & Final Thoughts

The episode is energetic, loaded with puns, playful banter, and delivered in an inclusive, humorous tone perfect for families. Both debaters bring creativity and easy-to-understand science. Molly Bloom’s hosting keeps things moving and engaging. Emma’s comments and decisions offer a relatable, thoughtful perspective.

This is a debate where both sides win in spirit—offering new facts about both the unsung “glue” of music and the charismatic, crafty fish of our lakes. Whether you love breadboards or bass boats, you’ll find something to bop (or swim) along to in this fun-filled debate!

Transcript

[A]

Lemonade.

[B]

Brains on Universe.

[A]

Have you heard the news? Smash Boom Best is now independent. We're so excited to be back with an epic new season. And it's all thanks to our SmartyPass members. They're the big hearted helpers who power us by [e-mail] you can be one of them. Your support helps pay our debaters and sound designers so we can keep making the fun and fact filled shows your family loves. Plus you get ad free versions of all of our shows. Bonus stuff and access to virtual hangs with me, Molly Again, that's smartypass.org thank you, thank you, thank you. Now on with the show from the brains behind Brains on. It's Smash Boom Best, the show for

[B]

people with big opinions.

[A]

Hi, I'm Molly Bloom and this is smashboom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together and ask you to decide which one is best. Today is a real bass off a bass bash, if you will. Listen closely because we're pitting bass against bass. That's right, bass guitars known for bopping rhythms and low end licks. And bass fish, those shimmery swift swimmers in lakes and seas. Here to make some for team Bass Guitar is podcaster and host of Weirdly Helpful and Care and Feeding Zach Rosen.

[C]

Oh yeah.

[A]

And making ways for team Bass Fish. We've got Science Friday host Flora Lichtman.

[D]

Yes, Team bass, these fish are off the hook.

[A]

And here to judge this fishy and fretted fracas is Emma from Austin, Texas. Emma competes with her marching band, works at a magic camp where she teaches kids how to do magic and tries out a new recipe every other week. Hi, Emma.

[B]

Hi, Molly.

[A]

Okay, so I want to hear about this magic camp. How old are the kids you're teaching magic to?

[B]

These kids range anywhere from elementary to around 15 years old. And I get to help teach them interesting new trick illusions and how to make really cool magic puppets.

[A]

That is so cool. So how long have you been doing magic for?

[B]

I've been doing magic about 3ish years. I always keep trying to learn new things so it's always growing.

[A]

That's so cool. So what's the like first kind of like beginner trick you would recommend for kids who are interested in doing magic?

[B]

I would say a good illusion magic is always a fun one to learn, like a sleight of hand with a deck of cards, because everyone always has decks of cards.

[A]

That's really cool. So I feel like maybe your skill at sleight of hand might be related to your Musical abilities like you compete with a marching band. So what instrument do you play?

[B]

I play clarinet for marching band, and then recently I've been doing alto saxophone for jazz. So I do think that there's a little bit of a correlation.

[A]

You gotta wiggle those fingers so fast.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

What's your favorite song you play in marching band right now?

[B]

My favorite song, I really like a lot of John Coltrane's music.

[A]

Ooh.

[B]

He is a jazz player and he's one of my favorites right now.

[A]

That's really awesome. Well, we're so glad you're here. Will bass win the race or will bass make a bigger splash? Let's argue it out. But first, here are the rules of the game. Every debate consists of four. The declaration of greatness, the micro round, the sneak attack, and the final six. After each round, our judge, Emma will award points to the team that impresses her the most. But she'll keep her decisions top secret until the end of the debate. Listeners we want you to judge, mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website, smashboom.org and vote for whichever team you think won. Okay, Emma, Flora, and Zach, are you ready?

[B]

Absolutely.

[D]

You got it.

[C]

Let's slap base.

[A]

Then it's time for the declaration of greatness. In this round, our debaters will present a well crafted immersive argument in favor of their side. Then they'll each have 30 seconds to rebut their opponent's statements. We flipped a coin and Flora, you're up first. Tell us why these super swimmers are awesome winners.

[D]

Okay, y', all, there are a few things I know to be true. Rainbows are delightful. Pizza is the perfect food. And bass. I'm talking about the majestic, acrobatic, elegant fish demand our respect and admiration. And look, I have a first fin experience with them. Let me take you back to my salad days as a kid. I spent summers with my grandpa grandparents in a little cabin on a lake in Maine. It was not fancy, but it was my favorite place. And my favorite thing to do there was to go fishing. We'd wake up before the sun was out, grab a few black licorice from the candy jar and get into a metal rowboat with a little outboard motor attached to it and steer it right to the weeds. That's the corner of the lake with the lily pads. And that is where the largemouth bass lived. You'd want to cast your top water lure right at the edge of the pads. That was the spot. Then you'd Sit there. And you'd wait and wait and wait till all the ripples from the splash disappeared. And then you'd twitch that lure ever so gently so it looked like a minnow flapping on the surface. Now, look, you had to get all that choreography just right, because if you didn't, you'd never catch that lunker of a bass. And they're too smart. So that's how I got to know these fish. Sitting for hours hoping I could fool them and usually not succeeding. But bass are so much more than a worthy angler adversary. They've got amazing variety. They're tricked out with cool abilities, and they're great parents. Let's dive in. Bass is a name shared by a ton of different fish. You've got the classics, like largemouth bass, small bass, striped bass, spotted bass. But there are also stunning ones like the Georgia red eye bass with ruby colored eyes and bright orange fins. The rare golden largemouth bass that's jeans make it look like swimming lemonade. Or the pretty peacock bass, which can have bright green, orange and gold scales with a spot on the tail that looks like an eye. I mean, come on. Paging the Metropolitan Museum of Art. We need a bass exhibit.

[E]

Who made this beautiful work of art? Vincent van Gogh?

[D]

Vermeer, I believe it's a fish, my dear.

[E]

Oh, it's divine. It truly puts the ah in aquatic. Fill up the bathtub, honey. I'm taking it home.

[D]

So they're fancy, they make a splash. But they also have super senses. Like a lot of fish, they have something called a lateral line. It's this line of special cells along the side of their body can detect stuff like small vibrations in the water. The sensor can act like an alarm, letting a bass know when a predator is on the way. Even if they can't see it. It can also help them locate their dinner. When the water is murky and hard to see through. And bass can learn, there's research that suggests they recognize fishing lures they've seen before and remember to avoid them. I have lived this one.

[E]

Wait a minute. So the bass might be swiping left on my lures. I can't believe I'm being outsmarted by a bass.

[D]

Believe it. And if that's not enough reason to love them, check this out. Bass are supremely devoted dads. When a male largemouth bass is ready to start a little fishy family, he will build a pizza sized nest at the bottom of the lake. And if it's a good nest, a bassy babe will come and leave some eggs. Then guess what? Dad is on duty. Bass dads can spend weeks skipping meals to protect their nest from predators. Once the eggs hatch, daddy bass will swim around, keeping those baby fish safe as they start to grow. Meanwhile, bass guitars famously never have kids. And if they did, I think we can all imagine how bad they'd be at parenting. Dad, I need some advice. I had a fight with my best friend. What should I do?

[A]

What?

[C]

That's.

[D]

That's not helpful at all. So let's recap. They're worthy adversaries. They're natural beauties. Their super sensors. And dedicated dads. I think the choice is obvious. For the win, choose the fin. They are officially the best.

[A]

Incredible. I can see that little bass sipping out of his number one dad mug. Emma, what stood out to you in Flora's declaration of greatness?

[B]

I knew there was a lot of fishes that had bass in it, but I didn't know there was a peacock bass fish, which really intrigued me. And with the sensors it's calling the lateral line. I didn't know that either.

[A]

So much good info there. Well, Zach, it is time for your rebuttal. You get 30 seconds to tell us why we should pass on bass. And your time starts now.

[C]

Well, you might not have understood what that bass said when it was like, donk, donk, donk, donk, but I heard exactly what he was saying. He was saying, talk it out with your friend. I'm a good dad. And actually, you might not know any basses that are good dads, but there are some very devoted bass players who are dads. Try Flea, for instance, the bassist of the Red Hot Chili Peppers. Do you know any anglers who have cool names like that? There's also, like, Bootsy. What a cool name. Thundercat, Sting. The most famous fishermen that you've never heard of have names like Kevin, Bill, Rick, and George.

[A]

Flora, would you like to say anything in return?

[D]

Yeah. You know, Zach, I feel like I have some fish to fry with you. I feel like you're just. You're not hooking into the alluring glory that are bass fish. And look, not everybody speaks bass like you. You and Flea.

[A]

Oh, man. Okay, hold on to those witty remarks. We're gonna come back with more debate right this. Today's episode is sponsored by Every Plate. Every Plate is the affordable, low stress way to cook great meals while also balancing work, social life, and budgets. Weeknights are chaotic. We're driving to sports. We're driving to choir. We are trying to get everything done during the day. And by the end of the day we are tired. You know what's helpful? Every Plate. It's the affordable meal kit that simplifies weeknight cooking for parents who don't have time for mealtime battles. They have a huge selection of dishes so there's something for everyone, even picky eaters. And the pre portioned ingredients reduce mess, stress and food waste. And your kids can even help with the cooking too. It's cheaper than the grocery store, half the price of takeout upfront everyday low pricing with no hidden fees or surprises. Try EveryPlate and get $2.99 cent per meal on your first box plus 10% off for a month. Go to EveryPlate.com podcast and use code SMASHBOOM BEST299 to claim your offer. That's code SMASHBOOM [e-mail] podcast to get $2.99 per meal on your first box plus ten percent off for a month. Ditch the dinner time dilemmas with every plate. Boom. Smash. Smash. Boom. Back to Bass and Bass we just heard about bass the fish. Now let's hear about bass the guitar. Zach, it's your turn to tell us why these guitars are superstars.

[C]

Anyone with ears can hear why bass is ace. Like hear that groove that is the sweet thump of the bass guitar makes you want to bob your head up and down, right? Bass guitar looks pretty similar to a regular guitar. It just has a longer neck and four strings instead of six. The strings are much thicker too, which helps make that low thumping sound, also known as bass. It's that low hum you feel from lower deep notes on any instrument. So bass guitar has a very low, deep range, but it still offers plenty of variety. It can be real funky, help drive a punk song, or even scat. Ever hear a fish scat? Me neither. Bass is low key. Sometimes it might even take a second to pick out a song, but that's because it's a team player. Like, check out how it pairs with drums on Queens. Another one Bites the Dust. Or how it drives tame Impalas. The less I know, the better. It's subtle, but once you start hearing it, you can't stop. In terms of history, bass guitar is a recent but revolutionary instrument. Before the bass guitar, musicians used big, heavy acoustic instruments like the upright bass to play super low tones. Upright basses look like a giant cello, but these old bass instruments were heavy, hard to move around, and weren't that loud. This all changed when electric instruments burst into the world in the 1930s. As Basie Blues music became more popular. The electronic bass guitar was perfected with its official invention in 1951, right when rock and roll really took off. Electric bass helped rock and roll soar, which dominoed into Motown, funk music, and countless other genres. It fundamentally changed music since its invention. No matter the genre, bass really is the glue of any song. It links all the parts and holds the song together. Sometimes bass is like a drum adding rhythm or beat to a song. But bass can also help with the melody or tune of a song. Bass is the Hannah Montana of instruments, because you get best of both worlds. Unlike Hannah Montana, the bass is not showy. It's the cool, calm, collected cucumber of the band. Say you're at a show and there's a band with a drummer looking razor focused with their tongue hanging out, trying to keep the pace for the whole band. The singer is center stage, twirling their hands as if to cast spells, La la la. Ing away to the audience, while the guitarist is, let's face it, absolutely milking it with a shredding solo. But the bass player, they're chilling in the corner, just groovin'. No ego, just the best haircut, the coolest fit, nodding their head along, laid back but steady, Effortlessly holding it all together so the song doesn't totally fall apart. And bass just isn't about peak vibes. It's about science. Research suggests that humans use lower pitched sounds to keep the beat and music, and we're more likely to notice a mistake with low notes rather than with higher pitched notes. So biologically speaking, bass needs to be on point to keep the show going. It's truly the heartbeat of music. Can a bass fish match that biology or the groove, that range or that rhythm? Me thinks not. Who gets first place? It's got to be the bass.

[A]

You can't argue with that cool and groovy declaration of greatness. Emma, what stood out to you about Zach's argument?

[B]

I really liked how you can keep the tempo. And with a bass, you have to not make a mistake because you can hear the lower notes. And in order to do this, you also have to keep tempo. And I thought it was really funny how you brought up Hannah Montana because that is. That's a classic.

[A]

Absolutely. All right, Flora, it is time for your rebuttal. You get 30 seconds to put the bass in its place, and your time starts now.

[D]

Well, first of all, Zach, fish can scat. They scat a lot. I think anyone who's encountered a fish or has a fish tank knows that they are Scat central. So look, I think your argument needs a tun up. First of all, bass guitar is just a regular guitar with fewer strings. It's like an upright bass, but smaller. And bass is having the best haircut. I think we all know that's not true. Zach, come on, Come on. This is really a debate over the beauty, beauty in the world. We are always reaching to make things that are beautiful.

[C]

You know, I'm not going to fret. I'm just going to hold it down. Stay grounded.

[A]

Excellent. Excellent. Well, Emma, it is time to award some points. Please give one point to the declaration of greatness that you liked best and one point to the rebuttal that won you over. You get to decide what makes a winning argument. Did one team bring the facts? Did another team have better stories? Did one team make you groove? Did one team make you think? Award your points, but don't tell us who they're going to. Have you made your decision?

[B]

I believe so.

[A]

Excellent, Zach and Flora, how you feeling so far?

[C]

Funky.

[D]

I feel confident. Like a six pound smallmouth bass patrolling the lake.

[A]

It is time for a quick break. Tune your strings and cast your lures.

[B]

And we'll be right back with some more smash. Boom. Best.

[F]

You're listening to State of Debate, home to rage and rhetoric and awe inspiring argumentation. What's up, debate fans? Taylor Lincoln here with my man from another fam, Todd Douglas.

[G]

Oh, hey, Tay. Are you ready to rumble? Because we are late for the big game.

[F]

We were originally gonna go to the medium game, but Todd snagged us tickets

[G]

to the big game and now we're living large, unlike the two fans we just passed.

[F]

Oh, yeah, those two were in the middle of an argument and one of them kept using a logical fallacy.

[G]

A logical fallacy is a weak argument that your opponent can poke holes in.

[F]

Yep, let's loop around so we can hear their argument.

[A]

Woo. I can't wait for this game. It's gonna be so epic.

[E]

Oh, you can say that again, Fran. I always love the season opener. The fans, the food, the fresh cut field. Oh, nothing can beat it.

[A]

You got that right, Sam. Except the field hasn't been freshly cut. It's turf.

[C]

What?

[A]

Artificial grass.

[C]

What?

[E]

You're telling me they replaced the real grass with fake grass? Ugh, that's bogus. It's gonna ruin the game.

[A]

Well, there are pros and cons to turf, sure, but that doesn't mean it'll ruin the game.

[E]

Fake grass is terrible. It ain't right, it ain't natural. The only way you can play. A real game is on real grass.

[F]

We're gonna need a flag on that. Logical fallacy.

[A]

Yeah.

[G]

Sam's argument was a textbook example of the appeal to nature fallacy. That's when you argue something must be right just because it's natural.

[F]

Just because the game isn't taking place on real grass doesn't mean it'll be bad.

[G]

Well, we gotta get going if we wanna make the big game. See you next time on state of debate.

[D]

Smash.

[C]

Boom.

[A]

Best. You're listening to smashboomfest. I'm your host, Molly Bloom.

[B]

And I'm your judge, Emma.

[A]

And we love getting debate suggestions from our listeners. Like this one.

[B]

My name is Sullivan and I'm from Wilmington, North Carolina. My debate idea is rain versus snow. A stormy showdown. I love it.

[A]

We'll check back in at the end of this episode to see which side Sullivan thinks should win.

[B]

And now back to bass versus bass.

[A]

Get ready for round two. It's the mic. Zach and Flora, you will each get three chances to make a micro argument backed by a cool fact. Flora started things off last round, so, Zach, you're gonna go first this time. Let's hear your first bass fact.

[C]

Well, Flora said basses have four strings. Most do. But in 2022, a YouTuber made a 69 string bass guitar, breaking the world record for most strings on a bass guitar.

[A]

Whoa.

[D]

Okay, okay. Well, that is a toughie bass guitar. Here's what I'd say. Bass guitar is a support instrument for the rest of the band. The American black bass. I'm talking about the smallmouth and the largemouth bass. They are the apex predator. They are the top of the food chain. The lead guitar of the pond, not the background rhythm section. The lion of the lake.

[C]

Well, legendary music producer Quincy Jones begs to differ. Flora, the guy who helped make Michael Jackson's Thriller, reportedly said, quote, without the Fender bass, there'd be no rock and roll or no Motown. The electric guitar has been waiting around since 1939 for a nice partner to come along. It became an electric rhythm section, and that changed everything.

[D]

You know what changes everything for the creatures that live in a pond or a lake. And apex predator. Let me tell you what I mean. These bass, they eat the stuff you'd expect, like crayfish, snakes, frogs. But they've also been known to chow down on. Wait for it, Emma. Birds, turtles, mice, muskrats, even bats.

[C]

Who needs an apex predator when you can have a bass? Pex predator. Here's a base mystery. The legend of the funk machine. An Electric base with a golden starburst pattern and the word funk carved into it. It was owned by James Jamerson, who was the bassist on all the classic Motown records. Stevie Wonder, the Supremes, Marvin Gaye. They all recorded with Jamerson. And you've definitely heard his bass. If you know the song My girl or you can't hurry love those low notes. All thanks to the funk machine. Sadly, the guitar was stolen in the 1980s, and no one knows what happened to this legendary instrument. It's a lost treasure. Maybe someone chucked it in a lake or something.

[D]

And some bass is just rocking out. Okay, Emma, this is. This is the heavy hitter. I know know you love magic bass. Fish have the ultimate magic trick. I know you know this, but we have to call it out. These fish live underwater. That is an insane superpower. The bass guitar can't do anything without us. The bass can't do anything without us. It just sits there. Meanwhile, these fish can do something we can't even dream of doing. They live in a completely different world.

[A]

Hmm. Those are some really, really good facts. I learned a lot. Emma, what grabbed your attention in that whole parade of facts?

[B]

I really enjoyed learning what bass eat. That's not just in their own area, but also birds and turtles. But also I loved learning about Quincy Jones and the fact that he said no rock and roll without a base.

[A]

Hmm. Excellent facts all around. But, Emma, I am sorry to say that only one of these sides can get a point. The criteria are taught totally subjective and totally up to you. Have you made your decision?

[B]

I have.

[A]

Fantastic. Hold tight. We'll be right back with more debate after this. Want smashboom? Best without the ad breaks. Join Smarty Pass and get an ad free feed of this and all the other brains on universe shows. Plus, you'll get to do virtual hangs with me and the crew and discounts on merch. Sign [e-mail] thanks.

[C]

Boom boom boom boom boom boom boom boom.

[D]

Smash Boom.

[A]

We are back and it's time for our third round. The super stealthy sneak attack. This is our improvised round where debaters have to respond to a challenge on the spot. Today's sneak attack is. Turn the tables, Flora. We want to know, if a bass fish were an instrument, what kind of instrument would it be and why? And Zach, if the bass guitar were an aquatic animal, what would it be and why? Let's hear about a bass inspired musical instrument.

[D]

All right. If a bass were an instrument, it would be the clarinet. Not just because Emma and I play the clarinet, but because the Clarinet has incredible range, just like bass. It can do so many things in a band. It can be the solo star. It can be hanging in the background. It can eat the muskrat. It can eat the crayfish. That is why the bass fish is a clarinet.

[A]

I'm just picturing a clarinet now eating a muskrat through its belt. Very good. All right, Zach, let's hear about a bass inspired aquatic animal.

[C]

Well, you know, we gotta go with an electric eel.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

They generate electric current and they can, like, shock you with their cool. With their cool voltage. They hunt with electricity. They defend, they navigate. And, you know, they are, like, the coolest under the sea creature that can just hold it down under the water.

[A]

Very good. Those were really excellent answers, both of you. But, Emma, it's time to pick a winner for this round. Did you make your decision?

[B]

I think I did. Ooh.

[A]

Okay, then let's move on to the last round. It's time for the the final six. In this round, each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. Zach, give us one last riff for the bass guitar.

[C]

No bass, no heartbeat, no breath.

[A]

Very nice. Flora, it's your turn to sell us on the wonders of this water dweller.

[D]

Fancy super sensing, Datalicious underwater breathers. Amazing.

[A]

Mmm. Very, very good. Oh, you guys are really good at this. I am sorry, Emma, but you have to make a decision. Please award a final point to this final six. Emma, have you made your decision?

[B]

I have.

[A]

Ooh, excellent. Tally up those points. Emma, are you ready to declare one team the smashboom best?

[B]

I believe so.

[A]

Oh, my gosh. Okay, drum roll, please. And the winner is.

[B]

Bass or bass? The guitar.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[D]

That was so heartbreaking.

[A]

That's when they read the wrong movie at the Academy Awards.

[C]

That was the. Yes. That was a Warren Beatty moment. Thank you.

[A]

I've been mixing them up, this whole taping. So, Emma, what did it? What pushed it over the edge for the bass guitar?

[B]

I think that it was all of the facts in the micro round with the interesting parts that I didn't know. And in the rebuttal with the Red Hot Chili Peppers.

[A]

Flea did it.

[C]

Flea?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Flora, I genuinely want to go fishing now after hearing the story about you growing up in Maine, it is a beautiful counterpoint of, you know, jamming with your friends in the garage is great, but, like, having some solitary time out on the lake. I think we could all use some of that. I certainly can. I loved your passion for these, for the fish, and I learned a lot And I love bass now in a way that I genuinely didn't before.

[D]

Right back at you. I feel the same way, Zach. I can't wait to listen to music I was hating on. But it's all a show because I was fully compelled by your arguments. And I can't wait to listen for it the next time I cue something up.

[A]

Well, that is it for today's debate battle. Emma crowned the bass guitar the Smashboom best. But what about you?

[B]

Head over to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who you think won.

[A]

This episode was produced by me, Molly Bloom, San Anton Totten, and Mark Sanchez. We had sound design by Rachel Brees and Mark Sanchez. We had engineering help from Jake Pearlman. And our announcer is Marley Hoyer, worker Otto. And we want to give a special thanks to Austin Cross and Taylor Kaufman. Flora, is there anyone you'd like to give a shout out to today?

[D]

I'd like to shout out my grandmother, who taught me how to clean a fish.

[A]

And how about you, Zach? Any special shout outs?

[C]

The biggest smashboom best fans in the world. My children, Noah and Ami, and my wife, Shira, and our puppy, Yuki.

[A]

Aw. And how about you, Emma? Any special thanks or shout outs?

[B]

I'd love to shout out my family, My mom, my dad, my grandparents, and my two brothers, pike and Jack, and all my friends who'd helped me through this. And one more special shout out to my amazing debaters, Zach and Flora, and the wonderful host, Molly Bloom.

[A]

Oh, Emma, just making me blush over here. Okay, before we go, let's check in and see who Sullivan thinks should win the rain versus Snow debate.

[D]

I think snow would win because there

[A]

are lots of fun things to do

[B]

doing it, like snowball fights, building a

[A]

snowman, and lots of fun sports if you're between the ages of 13 and 18 and you'd like to be a judge. Or if you're any age and you have an idea for a knockdown drag out debate, head to smashboom.org contact and drop us a line. And if you're a fan of the show and want to keep it going, head to smartypast.org to subscribe. We'll be back next week with a new smashboom best episode, Seaweed vs. Peanuts. Bye. Bye. See you later.

[D]

Bye Bye.

[C]

Bounce, bounce, bounce.

[A]

Does this make sense?

[C]

As much as this entire episode makes sense, Yep.

[A]

Huh.

[D]

Excellent.