Camping vs Hotels

Summary

Smash Boom Best: "Camping vs Hotels"

Podcast: Smash Boom Best (Brains On Universe)
Host: Molly Bloom
Episode Air Date: January 15, 2026
Debaters: Andy Doucette (Team Camping), Stuart Bloom (Team Hotels)
Judge: Evelyn, student and improv captain

Episode Overview

This energetic, kid-friendly debate episode tackles a classic vacation dilemma: Which is better, camping or hotels? Molly Bloom hosts as her husband, Andy Doucette, champions camping, while her father, Stuart Bloom, bats for hotels. Guest judge Evelyn brings improv savvy and a love of adventure, while listeners are encouraged to weigh in with their own verdicts.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Declarations of Greatness

(Hotels First: [04:29])
Stuart's Case for Hotels:

• Ultimate Comfort: Describes checking into a hotel after a tiring day: "That's why it's called king sized, because at hotels, everyone gets a taste of the royal life." ([05:30])
• Amenities & Experiences: Highlights pools, gyms, spas, and unique hotels (treehouses, underwater, hotels run by robot dinosaurs).
• Hospitality History: Cites the world’s oldest hotel in Japan (Nishiyama Onsen Keiunkan, 1300+ years old).
• Economic Impact: Emphasizes hotels’ role in supporting local tourism and communities.
• Quote: "Imagine you live in a small town with a really cool attraction... you build a hotel. Folks can visit, stay, and spend money in your town." ([07:38])

Evelyn's Reaction:
Showering and steak stood out as hotel wins:
"I'm a guy who loves showers. And so... the 'you stink' argument did stick out to me." ([08:47])

Andy’s Rebuttal:
Nature is less likely to disappoint or need repairs. "You're never gonna have an unwatchable sunset." ([09:24])

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Camping Declaration: ([10:33])
Andy’s Case for Camping:

• Nature Delivers on Its Promises: "Camping... delvers on its promises. It promises nature. It promises adventure." ([11:29])
• Variety of Experiences: Car camping, tents, hammocks, RVs, even glamping ("yurts," which leads to a running yurt joke).
• Affordable: Campsites can cost as little as $20/night, compared to costly hotels ([13:35]).
• Cooking Outdoors: Highlights the magic of eating by the fire and the improved flavor from open flame cooking.
• Skills & Wellbeing: Campers learn real-life skills and benefit from "forest bathing," which reduces stress and boosts creativity.
• Quote: "The true magic of eating while camping is that no matter what the food is, it always tastes better when you're eating it outside." ([14:21])

Stuart’s Rebuttal:
Defends hotels as never disappointing him—"Never, never, never, never. I love hotels. They're amazing." ([15:51]) Raises questions about yurts and camping terminology: "It takes a special person to know what yurtz is." ([16:18])

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2. Micro Round: Three Fast Facts

([20:30])

• Camping Cool Gear: Andy touts inventive gear (self-inflating tents, lake-water filters). "Hotel gear is what? An itchy towel and a pen to sign for that expensive bill?" ([21:13])
• Hotels with Robots & Dinosaurs: Stuart features a hotel in Japan run by robots and dinosaur animatronics ([21:38]).
• Fire-Cooked Food: Andy argues campfire cooking is tastier, food always better when cooked after effort ([23:08]).
• Breakfast Buffet Showdown: Stuart claims nothing beats hotel bacon and piles of pastries. Andy retorts with concerns about “pool water brine” on buffet bacon ([24:22]).
• Storytelling by the Fire vs. TV: Andy: "Campfire... the original must see TV." ([24:50])
• Underwater Hotels: Stuart: "Some hotels have rooms submerged in the ocean... see fish swim past your window." ([25:01])

Judge Evelyn’s Take:
Big fan of cool gear and robots—but wary, thanks to a healthy knowledge of "Terminator" outcomes. Underwater and themed hotels also tempt her.

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3. Sneak Attack: Make a Jingle

([26:54])

• Hotels Jingle, Stuart:
  "There are no bugs in the hotel. There's nice, nice rugs in the hotel. You can sleep on a bed. But if you're outside, you might feel like lead." ([27:25])

• Camping Jingle, Andy:
  "Don't you wish you had crisp, clean sheets? Not a bed where there's been lots of feets. How about a bag where you can lay your head, sleep outside and not be dead? You feel alive." ([27:50])

• Anti-Hotel Jingle (Andy):
  "Hotel no tell. Hotel no tell. Who's gonna stay? Not B. Not me..." ([28:21])

• Anti-Camping Jingle (Stuart):
  "Room service just brought you ice cream... If you were camping, you'd be chased by a gorilla. The bugs are there, they're biting you all the time. Being in outdoors is such a crime. The end." ([28:59])

Judge Evelyn’s Reaction:
Impressed by both emotion and humor; appreciated the heart and "rock and roll" of the performances.

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4. Final Six: Sum It Up in Six Words

([29:47])

• Team Hotels, Stuart:
  "Bug. Free. Comfortable. Skunkless. Yurtsless. Sleepy. Bacon." ([30:05])
  (Okay, maybe 7, but... bacon!)

• Team Camping, Andy:
  "Like sleeping inside, but with stars." ([30:44])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "You're never gonna have an unwatchable sunset." – Andy ([09:24])
• "There are no bugs in the hotel. There's nice, nice rugs in the hotel..." – Stuart, Hotel Jingle ([27:25])
• "The true magic of eating while camping is that no matter what the food is, it always tastes better when you’re eating it outside." – Andy ([14:21])
• "Room service just brought you ice cream. Like vanilla. If you were camping, you'd be chased by a gorilla." – Stuart, Anti-Camping Jingle ([28:59])
• "Like sleeping inside, but with stars." – Andy, Final Six ([30:44])
• Running "yurt" joke throughout (“What are yurtzes?” “[Am I] wearing one right now?”)

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Segment Timestamps

| Timestamp | Segment/Content | |---|---| | 00:20 | Introduction of topic and debaters | | 03:01 | Judge Evelyn’s intro and advice | | 04:06 | Declaration of Greatness (Hotels) | | 08:47 | Judge’s reaction (Hotels) | | 09:24 | Camping Rebuttal | | 10:33 | Declaration of Greatness (Camping) | | 15:51 | Hotel Rebuttal | | 20:30 | Micro Round (Three Fast Facts) | | 24:05 | Breakfast Buffet Debate | | 26:54 | Sneak Attack: Jingle Showdown | | 29:47 | Final Six Words | | 31:25 | Judge Evelyn reveals winner | | 31:44 | Judge explains decisive moment |

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Judge’s Decision & Reasoning

Winner: Camping
Evelyn chose camping, swayed by the allure of outdoor cooking with cast iron, swimming in lakes, seclusion, family time, and—most of all—cool gear!
Quote: “Like so more... away from people where I can like cook and swim and be with my family and have cool gear, that sold me.” ([31:44])

Fun moment: Stuart realizes his love of hotel bacon ironically contributed to the appeal of campfire-cooked bacon for Evelyn ([32:23]).

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Tone & Style

The debate is packed with gentle teasing, quick improvisation, and warm family banter. Yurt jokes, bacon banter, robot anxieties, and soulful jingles keep things lively and accessible for kids and families.

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Memorable Closing Exchange

• “When one of us wins, we both win too.” – Andy ([31:18])
• “Everybody who knows Andy is in love with him, including me.” – Stuart ([33:01])
• “Are you crying?” “Shut up.” – Andy & Stuart, joking as Stuart is moved by the debate ([33:17])

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For Listeners

To participate:
Listeners can vote for the winner at smashboom.org, or send in their debate ideas and even apply to be youth judges.

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Final Verdict

Camping wins the debate with s’more fun, nature’s beauty, and unbeatable bacon—but hotels get full points for comfort, quirky themes, and the eternal appeal of fluffy beds. The verdict proves: whether you’re a glamper, an adventurer, or a five-star aficionado, there’s a perfect trip out there for everyone!

Transcript

[A]

Lemonade.

[B]

Brains on universe.

[A]

From the brains behind Brains on, it's.

[B]

Smash Boom Best the show for people with big opinions.

[A]

Hi, I'm Molly Bloom and this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together and ask you to decide which one is best. Picture this. You've got a vacation and you have to decide where to sleep under the stars in a tent or on a mattress in a suite. That's right. We are doing camping versus Hotels. Here to be the camp counselor for team Camping, it's artist and my husband, Andy Doucette.

[C]

Hey, hey, hey. Camping's ready to pitch a tent in your heart.

[A]

Ooh. And checking in for team Hotels, it's my dad, Stuart Bloom.

[D]

Woo. Hot ells. Hotels. Hotels. Hotels.

[A]

So you both have known for some time how strongly the other person feels about their side, right? Has this come up between you before?

[D]

Well, let me just say that you love people because of things and sometimes you love people in spite of things.

[C]

I was also told that they love that I love camping.

[D]

Someone does.

[A]

And you don't make us go with.

[C]

Don't make it go with us.

[D]

Oh, thank God.

[A]

Well, this is going to be very fun to hear. To help judge this one, we've got Evelyn from Ontario, California. Evelyn is captain of her school's improv team. She loves theater and she's as at home at rock shows as she is at a rock climbing gym. Welcome, Evelyn. Hi. Hi, guys.

[B]

It's nice to meet you.

[A]

We are so happy to have you. So Evelyn, what shows have you been in lately?

[B]

I mean, just last week we closed out a show spreading awareness on climate change. So that was actually really cool.

[A]

That is really cool. Yeah. Does your improv team perform?

[B]

We perform at Claremont High School and we actually have an upcoming match this Friday, so.

[A]

Woo. Woo.

[B]

That's pretty exciting.

[A]

What is your favorite improv game?

[B]

My favorite improv game is this one called Survivor and it's pretty loosely based off of the TV show. So you have your four players usually just on one color team, right. And you play through a one minute scene and then the ref will blow their whistle and then go through every single player who just played and basically say you clap for everybody, but clap the loudest for the person who you want out and slowly their numbers dwindle until it's just one person playing four people in one scene. And it's so fun if you get to be that last person. Cause you get to do really funny impressions of all your teammates.

[A]

That does sound super fun.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So as an improviser what advice do you have for our debaters today?

[B]

Okay, I would say remember what's in your heart, whether it's hotels or camping, and just. Just don't lose sight of your end goal. That's my advice.

[A]

Very, very good advice in my heart.

[D]

Is mostly blood right now. I think it's just kind of.

[B]

Well, that's. That's good. That's good.

[A]

Should have blood and hotels in your heart today.

[D]

Okay. Okay, I do.

[A]

Will Evelyn decide to go camping or hit up a hotel? The answer awaits. But first, here are the rules of the game. Every debate consists of four. The declaration of greatness, the micro round, the sneak attack, and the final. After each round, our judge Evelyn will award points to the team that impresses her the most. But she'll keep her decisions top secret until the end of the debate. Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website, smashboom.org and vote for whichever team you think won. Okay, Andy, Stuart, and Evelyn, are you ready?

[C]

I'm ready.

[A]

Y. Y.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

Well, I'd like to take a cleansing breath first, but. Okay.

[A]

Then. It's time for the declaration of greatness. In this round, our debaters will present a well crafted, immersive argument in favor of their side. Then they'll each have 30 seconds to rebut their opponent's statements. We flipped a coin. And dad, you're up first. Give us your five star review for hotels.

[D]

Imagine you've been traveling all day. Your clothes are wrinkled, your legs feel like jelly, and let's not talk about your body odor. You wish you could just curl up in a cocoon and emerge the next day fresh and new. And that's when you see a hotel checking in. Let the pampering begin. Someone grabs your bags.

[A]

I got those.

[D]

An elevator whisks you away to your room where there's a big TV playing the most relaxing things imaginable, like the Weather Channel.

[A]

All right, it's gonna be cool and sunny, crystal clear, with highs in the.

[D]

Low 70s or old sitcoms.

[C]

No, honey, that's not me.

[A]

It's a horse.

[D]

Or cable news. Wait, definitely not that one. You can take a long, hot shower or cool off by cranking the ac. And when it's time to sleep, you flop down on a bed fit for a king. That's why it's called king sized, because at hotels, everyone gets a taste of the royal life. If you like to travel, then you absolutely need hotels. Where else are you going? To sleep a campsite, Try finding one of those in the bustling city you've been dreaming of visiting all your life. Plus, you want to be comfortable. That's why for centuries, weary wanderers have found rest in hotels or roadside inns. The oldest hotel in the world is in Japan. It's the Nishiyama Onsen Ki' I Unkan. And it's been around for about 3, 1300 years thanks to its incredible omotenashi. It means top notch hospitality and anticipating the guests every need. And speaking of needs, hotels are more than a place to sleep.

[B]

You can get food, room service, your steak and shake are here.

[D]

Or you can hit the gym.

[C]

Nothing like seeing the world and doing bicep curls. 1 and 2 and 3.

[D]

Sometimes there's a pool and a hot tub and even a spa. And those are just the basics. There are also hotels on the beach or up in trees or made of ice. There's even a hotel that's home to a herd of giraffes. You can splurge and stay at a fancy place or go cheap and just get a good night's rest. But whatever you choose, rest easy, knowing you're also helping the local economy. Imagine you live in a small town with a really cool attraction.

[A]

You mean like a giant ball of twine? Sure.

[B]

Or a super cool water park.

[A]

Yeah, or a giant ball of twine at a super cool water park.

[D]

Absolutely. Now imagine you want to help people experience that really cool attraction, so you build a hotel. Now, folks from all over can come and visit, stay the night and spend their money in your town. At restaurants, at museums, at those vending machines that squish a penny and make a picture on them. For some reason, this kind of thing is called tourism. And it's super important to so many places around the world. And without hotels, let's just say it'd be a lot harder to keep people happy.

[A]

Wow, I really want to see that.

[B]

Ball of twine at the water park.

[D]

But there's no place to spend the night.

[C]

I guess I'll just stay home and.

[B]

Watch paint dry instead.

[D]

That's grim. So if you're looking to go on an adventure, contribute to an interesting economy and receive world class hospitality, then ring that front desk bell and bing, book a room at a hotel.

[B]

Checking in, of course.

[A]

A hospitable and heartfelt argument there for hotels. Evelyn, what struck a chord with you about that declaration of greatness? Okay.

[B]

Personally, I'm a guy who loves showers. Okay. And so I think the you stink argument did stick out to Me, so that's a big thing. I also. This is nitpicky, but I really like steak, and I don't know if I'm getting steak at a campsite, so I think the steak thing definitely stuck out to me as well.

[A]

Steak and stink at the top of the list. All right, Andy, it is time for your rebuttal. Tell us why the sweet life isn't so sweet. You got 30 seconds and your time starts now.

[C]

The last hotel my family was at had a repairman in that hotel room for about the same amount of time that we were in that hotel room. And the TV didn't even work after that. Nature rarely breaks. You're never gonna have an unwatchable sunset. Also, you have AC beds, TVs, all those things at home. And also, I heard someone mention steak. The best steak I've ever had in my life is on a hot cast IR skillet sizzling in the boundary waters with the stars overhead and the loons in my ears.

[A]

Dad, anything you'd like to say?

[D]

Just the idea of the repairman sitting, you know, like, on his hands and knees, just. Just was enough to. To make me stop listening to everything else you said.

[A]

All right, there is a lot to unpack already in this debate. Let's take a quick break and we'll be. Best.

[B]

Smash.

[A]

Smash. Okay, it's time for Andy, my husband, to do his declaration. Andy, tell us why you're always amped to camp.

[C]

I'll admit it, hotels seem like a fun idea at first. Eating room service in bed with an ocean view, free tiny shampoos. But in reality, hotels usually don't live up to the hype like the last one I stayed at. Ah, hotel suite. Hotel. Oh, this looks a lot smaller than the pictures. Well, that's okay, because check out this view. The parking lot. Maybe I'll just order some room service. Cotto toast for $40. Salt not included. Come on, I need to lay down. Is that mysterious stain shaped like Australia?

[A]

Gross.

[C]

Okay, obviously that's not every hotel, but how many times have you been let down by one? They're always selling you this over the top life of luxury. But so often you're just paying top dollar to stay in a soulless beige box with crooked pictures and a continental breakfast that's from the continent of boring. Camping, on the other hand, delivers on its promises. It promises nature. It promises adventure. It promises fresh air and a chance to use cool tools and explore. And as for sleep, well, believe it or not, I've had some of the best sleep of My life in a sleeping bag. And you can't beat waking up to the sounds of birds and some bacon and eggs on the morning campfire, all while looking out at a stunning view of a lake. Ah, it's so peaceful.

[B]

But Andy, aren't you like, sleeping on the ground?

[C]

Yeah, with no showers or toilets or anything.

[A]

Ugh. Whoa.

[C]

Who let these grumps in? First off, like hotels, there's a range of camping experiences. You can camp from the back of your car or in a tent where you might sleep on a mat with a sleeping bag or even in a special hammock.

[B]

Hmm, I do like hammocks.

[C]

Or you can camp in an RV or campervan. Those have fold out beds. Or if you're feeling fancy, you can go glamping. That's glam camping. Which can have cots or bunk beds and sometimes they're in awesome places like yurts or even tree houses. Sleeping is always better when it's in a tree. Yeah, you get it. And to be clear, most campsites have toilets and many have showers. But if you want to go extreme camper mode somewhere super remote, you can bring a shovel and some toilet paper, see adventure. There's a huge range of experiences and it's way cheaper than staying in hotels. Tent campsites can cost as little as 20 bucks a night.

[A]

Whoa.

[B]

That's like half a slice of one. Room service. Avocado toast. Yeah, but toast is incredible. Speaking of eating, is camping food any good?

[C]

Any good? It can be as good as regular dinner at home, but with the best seating around, next to a river, around a roaring fire, in a comfy camp chair with the steam from your meal rising into a star filled sky. You can cook over the fire on a metal grate, use a portable camping cook stove with pots and pans, or even get pre made meals that all you have to do is add hot water to. The true magic of eating while camping is that no matter what the food is, it always tastes better when you're eating it outside. But there's more to camping than just eating and sleeping. You also learn really valuable skills and use really cool tools like how to cut wood with a hatchet and build a fire, or setting up a tent or top tier marshmallow roasting techniques on a stick you carved with a knife. Plus, camping allows you to completely immerse yourself in nature. From hiking to kayaking to simply reading a book near some really chill trees. Spending time in nature is scientifically proven to reduce stress and anxiety as well as improve memory and creativity. In Japan, they call it forest bathing. And for many it's a key part of a healthy, happy lifestyle. It does feel good to unplug and.

[A]

I do like the idea of taking.

[B]

A bath in a forest.

[A]

Lets go camping.

[D]

Yay.

[C]

Great choice. Hotels. More like no tells when it comes to adventure, connecting with nature, mastering cool skills and not sleeping in someone else's bed. It's gotta be camping.

[A]

Andy showing us there's smore to camping than we might think. All right, dad, you got 30 seconds to vent about life in a tent and your time starts now.

[D]

Did you listen to what he just said? I mean, the first part of it was an ad for hotels. They're comfortable and wonderful and you know, and he said, how many times has a hotel let him down? How many times does it let me down? Never. Never, never, never, never. I love hotels. They're amazing. He didn't even start talking about camping until he was halfway done and did. Let me clarify something. Did he say yurts? The word yurts?

[C]

Yes, he did.

[D]

You could camp in yurts. It takes a special person to know what yurtz is.

[A]

Andy, anything you'd like to say?

[C]

I think my declaration speaks for itself. And I'll mention the mysterious Australia shaped stain in someone else's bed.

[D]

What are yurts? What is a yurtz? Am I wearing one right now? Do I break out in yurtzes? Do I go on medication for yurtzes? What are yurtzes?

[C]

A yurt is a fancy tent like structure that you get to sleep in that's made of maybe animal skin or a canvas.

[A]

Evelyn, it is time to award some points. Please give one point to the declaration of greatness that you liked best and one point to the rebuttal that won you over. You get to decide what makes a winning argument. Did one team's descriptions paint a vivid picture? Did another team's reasoning reign supreme? Award your points, but don't tell us who they're going to. Evelyn, have you made your decision?

[B]

Yes, I have.

[A]

Excellent, Andy. And dad, how are you two feeling so far?

[D]

I'm feeling that our relationship will withstand this.

[C]

Oh, I couldn't agree more. But I'm also feeling a little itchy from those last hotel sheets I slept in.

[D]

Oh my God. But he was itchy before he went in the bed.

[C]

We don't need to mention that part.

[D]

Yeah, no, there's a certain hygiene thing. Anyway.

[A]

Okay, it's time for a quick break. Put out the do not disturb sign and close up those tent flaps and.

[B]

We'Ll be right Back with more smash. Boom.

[A]

Vest.

[B]

You're listening to State of Debate. Home to rage and rhetoric and awe inspiring argumentation.

[C]

Hello, my debate darlings. I'm 457 time debate coach and cheerleader Todd Douglas.

[A]

And I'm Taylor Lincoln.

[D]

Blah, blah blah.

[A]

You know the rest.

[C]

Taylor, you okay, bud? What happened to your energy?

[B]

It's these gray skies. I just can't seem to wake up today.

[C]

Oh, I know what'll wake you up. A giant logical fallacy using a rodent.

[A]

I'm intrigued.

[C]

It's the anecdotal evidence fallacy.

[A]

Oh, that's when you use something that.

[B]

Happened once to build a whole argument on bad idea.

[C]

Let's take a listen. Well, Phoebe, I'm so glad I caught you.

[B]

Nope, not again, Phil. Well, I don't know if you heard. I don't want to hear it.

[C]

But I stepped outside today.

[A]

Please.

[C]

And I saw my shadow.

[D]

And that means it's definitely gonna snow tomorrow.

[C]

Might want to snuggle into your burrow.

[B]

Phil, we are groundhogs, not meteorologists.

[A]

Your shadow means nothing.

[C]

Well, last week I saw my shadow and then the next day, snow.

[D]

See?

[C]

My shadow knows all.

[B]

Just because that happened once doesn't mean anything.

[A]

You tell him, Phoebe. That woke me right up.

[B]

Way to call out that fallacy.

[C]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure shadows have to do with the angle of light. Not a weather forecasting tool.

[B]

My sinus headaches on the other hand.

[C]

And that's all the time we have for today on State of Debate. Smash.

[D]

Boom.

[A]

Best. You're listening to smashboom Best. I'm your host, Molly Bloom.

[B]

And I'm your judge, Evelyn.

[A]

And we love getting debate suggestions from our listeners. Here's a sweet treat to argue over. My debate suggestion is smoothies versus milkshakes.

[B]

Two delicious drinks, one totally strawsome debate.

[A]

We'll check back in at the end of this episode to see which Juliet thinks should win.

[B]

And now this debate is still going strong. Back to camping versus hotels.

[A]

Let's move on to round two, the micro round. Andy and dad, you will each get three chances to make a microargument backed by a cool fact. Dad, you went first. Last. So Andy, you're gonna start this time. Give us your first fact in support of camping.

[C]

If you like gear, camping has some really cool gear. From mini stoves you could fit in a pocket to tents that hang between trees like a hammock. If you're not into putting up a tent, there's ones that self inflate. There's even water bottles that can filter lake water so you can literally drink the great outdoors. Hotel gear is what? An itchy towel and a pen to sign for that expensive bill?

[D]

Okay, I have to shift into a different gear to rebut that. But one thing you won't see. Camping is dinosaurs or robots. But in Japan, there is a hotel that's run partially by dinosaurs and robots, or more specifically, human and dinosaur like robots. Is it weird? Oh, yes. Unnecessary. Uh huh.

[C]

Uh huh huh.

[D]

Do I want to stay there? Oh, yes. And are there yurts? No yurts.

[C]

Okay, one, we haven't gotten to the bottom of what a yurt is exactly in everyone's mind. And two, in this age of AI running rampant, do we really need to go to a place controlled by robots, or do we need to go back to a place that's untethered from our robo overlords?

[D]

You've always been concerned about the robot rebellion. I have, thank you. And I just, I happen to trust the robots for the most part. Especially if they could tell me what a yurt is, I would be very excited to talk to a robot.

[C]

So hotels with robots are fine and all, but I think we really need to get back to our non robot roots. Especially if robots are serving cold breakfast buffet. No thanks. I'll take camp food believed by many to taste better because it's cooked over a fire. Fires can char food in a way that creates more complex flavor. Plus, cooking on the fire releases all kinds of smells that can enhance the experience. Think Pepe Le Pew, the skunk following the comic smell. Plus, when you work for it, the food just tastes so much better. Even my wife, the host of this very show, a noted non camper, once while camping the first time with me, looked up at the stars from her freshly cooked hot dog and potatoes and said, oh, I get it.

[D]

Yeah, that's a real winning argument. To smell like a skunk before you eat something that's very. That sounds delicious.

[C]

Who mentioned skunks?

[D]

You said you went. You'll listen when you hear the whole episode, you'll hear you say skunks, which is not appetizing, not in a negative way.

[C]

It's a cute little skunk. Pepe Le Pew.

[D]

Skunks are cute, but you don't want to smell them.

[A]

That's why he likes camping. He gets to see skunks.

[D]

I don't know what he's talking about with a cold breakfast. The hotels that I've been that come with breakfast have piles of bacon. Sweet, delicious, savory, salty. Bacon is there. And Sometimes they even have, like, Belgian waffles or French croissants or Italian frosted Flakes. Okay, not Italian frosted Flakes. Okay, not that. But if you want a breakfast buffet while camping, you know, you have to. You're confronted with the smell of a skunk and grass. So I prefer the breakfast you get at a hotel.

[C]

Yeah, hotel bacon is known to be of the highest quality that there is. And also the gentleman in the flip flops and still dripping wet swimsuit and no shirt who's reaching for that bacon with his arm pool water dripping into it, is that part of the seasoning that you.

[D]

Well, let me just tell you how most people feel about bacon. Even when it's bad, still good.

[C]

But you know what's more captivating than that? And you know what's more captivating than a bad cable TV at a hotel? A campfire. It's the original must see tv. Humans have been telling stories around a fire since forever. And you can think your deepest, most profound thoughts while watching one burn. The deepest you can get at a hotel is contemplating how many people slept in before you got there.

[D]

Well, the sheets are always clean and there's no smelling like a skunk when I'm in a hotel. That's very, very true.

[C]

We're back to the skunks.

[D]

But my final fact, and this is a true one, you know, in Little Mermaid, you hear, darling gets better. Life is better down where it's wetter. Sung by a crab. Anyway, that's a famous line, but it could also be the motto of one of the many underwater hotels. Yes, I said underwater. Some hotels have rooms submerged in the ocean where you can see fish swim past your windows. Now, let's say you're camping and you see fish swim past your windows. You've been in a mudslider and at the bottom of a lake. So it's not very good.

[C]

My one question would be, in this economy, the wonderful thing about camping is it has access for everybody.

[D]

Oh, that's true.

[A]

Okay, Evelyn, what stood out to you in this micro round?

[B]

Okay, I think they're starting arguments for, like, geared, like, right towards me because I wrote down for camping, I wrote down cool gear. And then I wrote down cool gear again because, listen, I'm a big cool gear guy.

[A]

I think that's.

[B]

That one caught my attention. And I also wrote down Terminator. This is important because dinosaurs and robots, really cool. But I have seen the whole Terminator series, and I know what happens.

[C]

Okay, you know where that's gonna go?

[B]

I know where that's gonna go, right? But I do think a dinosaur and robot hotel is that. That is. That is a good hook. That's a good hook. And also underwater hotels. That's pretty cool. I do like themed hotels, so I'm torn. I'm torn.

[A]

Guys, this is a tough one, but, Evelyn, it's time to award a point. Don't tell us who it's going to. The criteria are totally subjective and totally up to you. Have you made your decision?

[B]

Yeah, I think I have.

[A]

Ooh, Excellent. Then let's move on to our third round, the super stealthy sneak attack. This is our improvised round where debaters have to respond to a challenge on the spot. Andy. Dad, your challenge is jingle all the way. You need to make up a little jingle like the song from a commercial. Make it about your side and make it memorable. Okay, dad, you're gonna go first. Let's hear a jingle for hotels.

[D]

There are no bugs in the hotel. There's nice, nice rugs in the hotel. You can sleep on a bed. But if you're outside, you might feel like lead.

[A]

Very good. Very good.

[D]

I wish I had more time to come up with something a little better.

[A]

It was great. It was great. All right, Andy, let's hear your jingle for camping.

[C]

Don't you wish you had crisp, clean sheets? Not a bed where there's been lots of feets. How about a bag where you can lay your head, sleep outside and not be dead? You feel alive.

[A]

Oh. Oh, boy. Two perfectly catchy jingles. Now a sneak attack. In the sneak attack, I want you to make a jingle against your opponent's side. Andy, you're gonna go first this time. I'd like to hear an anti hotel jingle.

[C]

Okay. Hotel no tell. Hotel no tell. Who's gonna stay? Not B. Not me. Why am I gonna stay there? Not me. Hotel no tell.

[A]

You really occupied a new Persona there. That was.

[C]

I don't know where that was.

[A]

Method act.

[C]

I don't know what happened. It came from a deep place that's afraid of sleeping in other people's sheets.

[B]

I like that rhythm. It was good.

[A]

Yeah. Evelyn likes rock and roll. Okay, dad, it is your turn. I would like to hear your jingle. That's anti camping.

[D]

Room service just brought you ice cream. Like vanilla. If you were camping, you'd be chased by a gorilla. The bugs are there. They're biting you all the time. Being in outdoors is such a crime. The end.

[B]

I really like the emotion you portrayed in that jingle. That was so much.

[A]

There was a lot.

[D]

It wasn't manufactured it was soulful.

[B]

That was good.

[A]

Okay, Evelyn, it is time to award a point for this sneak attack. That's a lot to consider. There were Personas, there was heart. There was soul. There was rock and roll. Have you awarded your point?

[B]

Yes, I have.

[A]

Wonderful. Then it's time for our final round. The final six. In this round, each team will have just. Just six words to sum up the glory of their side. Dad, please give us six words that say heck yeah for hotels.

[D]

Bug. Free. Comfortable. Skunkless. Yurtsless. Sleepy. Bacon.

[A]

Now you're like a seven year old.

[C]

I don't know where he went.

[D]

Bacon.

[A]

Wonderful.

[D]

Was that six? I don't know.

[A]

You know you were close. Evelyn gets to decide. Okay, let's hear your six words that sum up the coolness of camping.

[C]

Like sleeping inside, but with stars. Oh, okay.

[D]

Very.

[A]

All right, Evelyn, it is time to award a final point for this final six. Have you made your decision? Yes. Okay, are you ready to declare one team the smashboom best?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I just want to say Andy and my dad are holding hands like they are the final two at Miss America. It's really lovely.

[C]

When one of us wins, we both win two.

[D]

We love each other.

[A]

Drumroll, please. And the winner is.

[B]

Camping.

[A]

Woo.

[D]

That's great.

[C]

My hands were so clammy. I'm sorry. I was so nervous.

[D]

That's just wrong.

[A]

So Evelyn, was there a moment that really decided things for you?

[B]

Okay. I think I love to cook. So I think like the cast iron, okay, the steak kind of got me, but I think the cast iron with the bacon as well, like that would just be so much fun. And also I love swimming in lakes. Like every time there's a pool at anybody's house, I jump into it always despite the temperature. Like I love swimming, so I definitely feel like, you know, like so more like secluded, away from people where I can like cook and swim and be with my family and have cool gear that sold me.

[A]

It's hard to argue with that.

[D]

How ironic that my argument for hotel's bacon pushed her over the top to camping.

[A]

Oh my gosh.

[C]

The preparations.

[A]

Cast iron.

[C]

You can't versus cast iron.

[B]

It's hard to compete with cast iron.

[A]

It's very true.

[C]

Stuart. I loved everything that you did today. As your son in law, obviously, of course, you brought your trademark wit, your enthusiasm and extemporaneousness to talk about all the joys of hotels. Now, just because I'm pro camping doesn't mean I'm anti hotel. And for a lot of the reasons that you brought Up. I deeply appreciate.

[D]

Oh, nice. Well, listen, everybody who knows Andy is in love with him, including me. And so I, you know, at first I was very, you know, pro hotel, but by the end I was into camping too. Beyond.

[C]

Are you crying?

[D]

Shut up.

[A]

Camping.

[D]

I have to go camping now.

[A]

Oh, no, that's hard.

[D]

There's bugs and I'll be chased by a gorilla.

[C]

But you're gonna find out what a yurt is. Oh, yeah, well, there's that.

[A]

Finally. Nice.

[D]

Because my name is Stew Yurt.

[A]

Stuyrt Bloom.

[D]

Yes, it's a better name than Stewart. Stewart. That's it.

[A]

Well, that's it for today's debate battle, Evelyn crowned Campion the Smashboom best. But what about you?

[B]

Head to smashboom.org and vote to tell.

[A]

Us who you think won. This episode was produced by me, Molly Bloom and Mark Sanchez. We had sound designed by Mark Sanchez and he also wrote our theme music. Wow, what a guy. We had engineering help from Jackson Vestly. Our announcer is Marley Foyer, worker, auto and we want to give a special thanks to Austin Cross and Taylor Kaufman. Andy, is there anyone you'd like to give a shout out to today?

[C]

I would love to give a shout out to all of you who have supported this incredible, incredible team of smashboombusters and the broader Brain sound universe. So many high fives to you all for supporting this incredible team. And to everyone out there that has introduced someone to camping, you've given someone else a very special lifelong gift.

[A]

Oh, that's so nice. How about you, dad? Any special shout outs?

[D]

Well, I echo everything that Andy said about everybody who's been so supportive of smashboom Best. But I do really want to shout out my long suffering wife Carolyn, who's been with me in many nice hotels and has never camped with me once.

[A]

And how about you, Evelyn? Any special thanks or shout outs?

[B]

Yeah, well, I mean, I want to shout out Coco and Mr. Sanchez for having me on today. I had a lot of fun and I got to skip part of my first period, so good day.

[A]

Well, you did a great job. Before we go, let's check in and see who Juliet thinks should win smoothies or milkshakes. I think smoothies should win because if you put fruit in them, then they're more nutritious. If you're between the ages of 13 and 18 and you'd like to be a judge, or if you're any age and you have an idea for a knockdown drag out debate, head to smash boom.org contact and drop us a line and if you're a fan of the show and want to keep it going, head to smartypass.org to subscribe. My dad and husband will thank you. We'll be back next week with another smash. Boom. Battle Moss versus Moths. Bye.

[D]

Do not disturb.

[C]

Later, skaters.

[A]

That's all, folks. Oh, Better than the rest. It's smash the West. It's smash the West.

[C]

Has ever been a situation where no one's been awarded a point?

[A]

No.

[D]

Okay, good. Right. Are these points purchasable?

[A]

No.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

We don't bribe our judges.

[B]

Bribery?

[D]

Why? It was not bribery. It was just, you know, it's a.

[A]

Little token of your affection.

[D]

Exactly.