Smash Boom Best: "Libraries vs. Museums" (June 12, 2019)

A funny, smart debate for kids and families by Brains On Universe

Episode Overview

In this lively, family-friendly debate episode, host Molly Bloom welcomes two passionate debaters—Joy Dolo for Team Library and Mark Sanchez for Team Museum—to battle it out over which institution reigns supreme: the humble library or the mighty museum. Judge Ben listens carefully as both sides bring history, humor, music, and even alien encounters to the challenge, aiming to persuade listeners which is truly the "smash boom best" source of learning and fun.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Arguments & Biases

• Host Introduction (00:00 - 01:00): Molly Bloom sets up the debate, defining the stakes: which is most educational, inspiring, impressive, and coolest?
• Judge’s Pre-Debate Opinion (01:12): Ben leans toward libraries:

  "I like libraries better because it's quiet... you kind of know more what you're gonna get at the library." — Ben (01:24)

• Debater Introductions:
  • Joy Dolo (Team Library): “Libraries are basically the center of entertainment as we know it today.” (02:56)
  • Mark Sanchez (Team Museum): “Museums. You get to experience whatever is being shown to you...you get to feel that.” (03:31)

2. Round 1: Declaration of Greatness

Team Library (Joy Dolo) (05:06 – 10:10)

• Libraries provide easy access to information for everyone, offer much more than books, and are widely available:
  • "There are an estimated 116,867 libraries in the United States. That's more libraries than there are people in Green Bay, Wisconsin." (06:16)
• History of libraries: from ancient clay tablets, chained books, to public lending.
• Massive impact of women's clubs in the late 1800s/early 1900s, responsible for establishing most U.S. public libraries.
• Libraries are free, foster community, and host diverse events.
• Personal stories and humor (NSYNC marriage dreams!).
• Joy’s main point: Libraries are everywhere, accessible, community-focused, and have changed lives.

Notable Quote:

"My favorite memories in a library include reading all of the Little House on the Prairie series, listening to all of NSYNC’s first album while dreaming about how Joey Fatone and I would one day be married on a farm with several children..." — Joy Dolo (09:27)

Mark’s Rebuttal (11:22):

• “A library is a collection...so is a museum! Photo libraries? That’s just a museum of artwork in your pocket.” — Mark Sanchez

Team Museum (Mark Sanchez) (12:18 – 18:03)

• Museums fascinate by assembling curated collections—“Ten rocks, okay, I’m listening. 100 rocks...yes, please. When can I see them?” (12:20)
• There’s a museum for everything: video games, roller skating, bananas, even ventriloquism.
• Museums create visceral, unforgettable experiences with real artifacts.
• Tells the engaging saga of the Ashmolean Museum—the first modern public museum, born from the collection ("cabinet of curiosities") of the Tradescant family and ultimately named after Elias Ashmole.
• Museums as "guardians of our most precious items."
• Mark’s main point: Museums offer direct, immersive contact with human history, creativity, and even the weirdest parts of our world.

Notable Quotes:

"It is the physical presence that is the experience." — Lisa Sweezy, Vent Haven Museum (13:34)
"Museums are the guardians of our most precious items...heroes of the universe." — Mark Sanchez (17:56)

Joy’s Rebuttal (18:49):

• Points out libraries are free unlike museums, and you get to borrow items.
• Pokes fun at museum “heroes” claim with a Captain Planet joke and silly voice.

3. Micro Round 1: Alien Encounter (24:39 – 29:50)

Each debater, as an alien, observes their assigned institution.

Team Museum (Mark)

• Visits a natural history museum, is amazed by dinosaur skeletons:
  • "It stood about as tall as a red bellied rat smell... this Tyrannosaurus run rats had huge sharp teeth and tiny arms." (25:39)
• Observes Earthlings connecting to past lives and wonders about the sleeping alien in a library: "It looked as if the building itself had put the agent to sleep almost as if the library was so boring..." (26:52)

Team Library (Joy)

• Alien observes all-ages activities and community:
  • "...a herd of small humans clapping while another much older human sings A, B, C, D, E, F, G..." (27:49)
• Humor in alien confusion ("Google" means "ice cream sandwich" back home).
• Finds emotional connection when a librarian helps her; invents the word “fuldorfingle” for crying with joy: “My eyes are leaking...I am crying. Or as my people say, Fuldorf Angel.” (29:31)

Memorable Banter (29:50):

"I am phildorfingle with Joy. How do you spell that?" — Molly Bloom
"Spell like it sounds." — Joy Dolo

4. Sneak Attack: Twinkle, Twinkle Parody (31:25 – 33:00)

Both must write and sing a "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star" about their side.

Joy’s Song (Library) (32:04):

"Libraries are the best in town.
If you're there, you'll see a clown.
Books and music, events too.
You'll need a few days before you're through.
This is my library jingle.
Hope it makes you fuldorfingle."

Mark’s Song (Museum) (32:37):

"Statues, pics and paintings, please.
Museums for you and me.
See van Gogh, starry night
Spaceships, aeroplanes of flight
Museums for you and me
Way better than libraries."

5. Final Six Words (34:01 – 34:35)

Each debater must summarize their side in just six words.

• Mark (Museum): "Museums now and forever. Libraries. Meh." (34:06)
• Joy (Library): "Books, movies, music, free. Museums: inappropriate. Oh my!" (34:16)

6. Sudden Death: Superhero Showdown (35:27 – 38:27)

If their side was a superhero, what would they be?

• Mark (Museum): Experiendo—superpower is letting you “experience” everything: dinosaurs, paintings, statues.
• Joy (Library): Lena Literacy Library Razor—superpower is finding exactly what you need in a library, guiding you to every book, fact, or song.

Winner: Joy / Team Library

“The winner of this debate is Joy.” — Molly Bloom (38:27)
"I like Joy's name better. Ben likes syllables." — Ben (38:53)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You probably don't want to try borrowing a Picasso painting from a museum.” — Joy Dolo (09:22)
• “There's a museum for dummies.” — Mark Sanchez (13:12)
• “Statues without a head. Yes. Or legs or arms.” — Ben, on why he prefers libraries (01:22)
• “I declare cheating!” — Joy Dolo, upon Mark’s passionate dinosaur plea (19:35)
• “Museums are the guardians of our most precious items...heroes of the universe.” — Mark Sanchez (17:56)
• "Hope it makes you fuldorfingle" — Joy Dolo, coining a new word for joyful tears (32:21)

Important Timestamps

• 00:00-03:31 — Host/contestant intros, opening positions
• 05:06-10:10 — “Declaration of Greatness”: Team Library
• 12:18-18:03 — “Declaration of Greatness”: Team Museum
• 24:39-29:50 — Micro Round “Alien Encounter”
• 31:26-33:00 — Sneak Attack: “Twinkle, Twinkle, I’m a Star” Song
• 34:01-34:35 — Final Six Words
• 35:27-38:27 — Superhero Sudden Death round and winner

Tone & Energy

This episode is energetic, funny, sometimes silly but always enthusiastic. Both debaters use jokes, puns, songs, voices, and even a few (friendly) barbs. They offer clear, spirited reasoning and playful attacks, keeping things light and engaging for kids and families.

Conclusion: Who Won?

It was a super-close debate, but Joy Dolo’s creative superhero and connection to the audience gave Team Library the narrowest of wins. Still, both libraries and museums come away as educational, inspiring pillars of any community—inviting listeners to keep debating, exploring, and fuldorfingling (feeling joy!) no matter what.

Final reminder for listeners:
Vote for your favorite at smashboom.org; this debate may be over, but the learning—and the fun—never stops!