Piranhas vs Venus Flytraps

Summary

Smash Boom Best: Piranhas vs. Venus Flytraps

Podcast: Smash Boom Best
Host: Molly Bloom
Debaters: Jed Kim (Venus Flytrap) & Tracy Mumford (Piranha)
Judge: Kai
Air Date: June 6, 2019

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Episode Overview

This episode of Smash Boom Best pits two fierce (but very different) predators against each other: the iconic plant Venus Flytrap versus the legendary Amazon fish, the Piranha. Debaters Jed Kim and Tracy Mumford face off in a spirited, fact-filled contest, vying to persuade young judge Kai and the listeners at home that their side is the "smash boom best." The debate unfolds in four rounds—Declaration of Greatness, Micro Round, Sneak Attack, and Final Six—culminating in a lively tie-breaker challenge.

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Key Discussion Points & Debate Structure

Introduction & Rules (00:00–03:40)

• Host Molly Bloom introduces the playful "smash boom" format.
• Judge Kai reveals a fair and open-minded approach:

  "Even if I did [have an opinion], I couldn't be biased." (01:04)

• Debaters are reminded to be passionate but respectful.
• Structure of the debate is outlined:
  1. Declaration of Greatness (deep dives)
  2. Micro Round (creative challenge)
  3. Sneak Attack (improvisation)
  4. Final Six (six-word closing)

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Round 1: Declaration of Greatness

Team Venus Flytrap - Jed Kim (04:07–09:02)

• Unique Adaptation: Both a plant and a predator—eats sunlight and bugs.
• Historical Clout: Charles Darwin described it as "one of the most wonderful in the world." (05:11)
• Fascinating Mechanism:
  • Leaves act as snap-traps with trigger hairs.
  • Two touches within 20 seconds = trap snaps shut.
  • Digestive enzymes dissolve prey.
• Ecological Niche:
  • Survives in nutrient-poor, soggy soils by supplementing with insect nutrients.
  • Smart fail-safe: timing mechanism prevents traps from closing by accident.
• Conservation Note:
  • Native to North Carolina; threatened by illegal collection.
  • It's now a felony to collect in North Carolina.
• Accessibility: Easier for families to buy as a plant (vs. illegal to own a piranha in many areas).
• Fun Fact: Scientific name Dionaea muscipula means "God's little mouse trap."
• Quote:

  "This is a plant that can't move and it still manages to eat things!" – Prof. Clyde Sorensen (07:58)

• Memorable Moment: Playful banter about “bribing” judge Kai:

  "You can't bribe me if that's what you're trying to do." – Kai (10:40)

Team Piranha - Tracy Mumford (10:55–16:17)

• Myth-Busting: Piranhas’ scary reputation is exaggerated—often more scared than scary.
• Pop Culture: Blame for bad rep goes to Teddy Roosevelt witnessing a staged feeding frenzy.
• Super Powers:
  • Bite with 72 pounds of force (~30x body weight).
  • Teeth so sharp indigenous people craft tools from them.
  • Some species can literally bite through steel.
• Behavior:
  • Can bark; make three distinctive sounds—not friendly, but fascinating.
  • Fast eaters—can reduce fish to skeletons in seconds.
• Ecological Role:
  • Often scavengers, not exclusive predators.
  • Clean up river ecosystems by eating dead/decaying material.
• Quote:

  "Piranhas are clean freaks. So to recap, piranhas can bark, they can bite hard, their teeth are like sharks, they’re super-fast eaters who never leave crumbs..." – Tracy (16:04)

• Expert Quote:

  "Bad guys in the natural world are seldom as bad as we make them out to be." – Richard Conniff (16:14)

Judge Kai's Insights (09:09 and 16:29)

• Praised Venus Flytrap facts, especially about Charles Darwin.
• Enjoyed Piranha “bark” and myth-busting, noted not as ferocious as believed.

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Round 2: Micro Round – Susian (Dr. Seuss-Style) Poems (21:45–24:53)

Piranha (Tracy Mumford) (21:55)

• Poem gives voice to a “grumpy, bitey fish” who just wants to be liked:

  "I only bite when I’m hungry and when I fight. / And yes, I do bark all day and all night."

• Humorous shade at Venus Flytrap:

  "You can’t trust a plant that would try to dissolve you."

Venus Flytrap (Jed Kim) (23:32)

• Tells two stories: Kid with a finger-munching piranha vs. kid with bug-eating, friendly plant.

  “If only he’d been more like Susie Fedora / Who begged her dad for some really cool flora..."

• Delivers a creative insult:

  "Cause piranhas, you see, are just underpants."

Judge’s Reaction

• Kai: “That was like some, like, Lin-Manuel Miranda Hamilton stuff.” (23:09)
• Quick to mark a point for the round.

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Round 3: Sneak Attack – Slogans (25:07–26:18)

• Venus Flytrap (Jed):

  “Got creepy crawlies? Send ‘em to Venus.” (26:04)

• Piranha (Tracy):

  “Super bitey, but not so frighty.” (26:13)

• Fast, funny round; both sides praised for creative marketing.

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Round 4: Final Six – Six Words to Sway (26:45–27:09)

• Piranha:

  “Piranhas are misunderstood, but still winners.” (26:56)

• Venus Flytrap:

  “Sunshine and bugs eats it all.” (27:04)

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Tie-Breaker: Crayon Color Challenge (27:36–29:03)

• Venus Flytrap's color:

  “Snappy Green Eater” – dark green outside with a red core; “if you’re a bug using this crayon, you die.” (27:50)

• Piranha’s color:

  “Red Bellied” – bright crimson, inspired by the aquarium-loved red-bellied piranha. (28:15)

Decisive Moment:

• Kai chooses Venus Flytrap, thanks to Jed's creative crayon lore:

  “I liked the little fact about, like, if you’re a bug using the crayon…” – Kai (29:03)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Kai (Advice to debaters):

  “Be nice to each other. You can have a really good opinion and you can phrase it in a way that is good, but you don’t want to make the other person feel bad.” (01:27)

• Venus Flytrap expert:

  “Piranhas got nothing on a Venus flytrap. I mean, piranhas only work if you have a whole bunch of them, you know, attacking all at one time. This is a plant that can’t move and it still manages to eat things.” – Clyde Sorensen (07:49)

• Piranha expert:

  “They can literally bite through steel.” (13:25)

• On piranha reputation:

  “Would you want to be judged at your hangriest?” – Tracy (14:22)

• Six-word slam:

  “Super bitey, but not so frighty.” – Tracy (26:13)

• Crayon challenge clincher:

  “if you’re a bug using this crayon, you die.” – Jed (28:09)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Intro & Rules: 00:00–03:40
• Venus Flytrap Declaration: 04:07–09:02
• Piranha Declaration: 10:55–16:17
• Seuss-Style Poems: 21:45–24:53
• Sneak Attack Slogans: 25:07–26:18
• Six Word Finales: 26:45–27:09
• Crayon Color Tiebreaker: 27:36–29:03
• Winner Declared: 29:03

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Conclusion & Winner

Although both debaters delivered creative, fact-packed arguments and fun poetry, Venus Flytrap clinched victory with a quirky crayon color pitch that delighted the judge. Tracy's piranha was a strong sentimental favorite, but Jed's plant power snatched the trophy.

Final thoughts:

• The episode was high-energy, silly, and loaded with trivia, myth-busting, and creative wordplay—true to the show’s mission to spark friendly debate and teach critical thinking.

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For more matchups or to vote:
Visit smashboom.org.

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“I liked the way that both of you described your colors, but I liked the little fact about, like, if you’re a bug using the crayon…”
—Kai, declaring Team Venus Flytrap the Smash Boom Best! (29:03)

Transcript

[A]

From the brains behind brains on, it's Smash Boom Best, the show for people with big opinions.

[B]

Hello, I'm Molly Bloom and this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. And today, the voracious Venus Flytrap and the pitiless Piranha go leaf to head in a battle to end all battles. That's right. Today's matchup is killer plant meets fanged fish.

[A]

Venus Flytraps. They're, like, boring because they don't have lives. They're just kind of there. And then they, like, eat flies, Piranhas.

[B]

Cause they're more vicious.

[A]

Yeah. Venus Fly chaps, they can eliminate flies. Piranhas, they, like, go after something and they eat it alive. Venus Fry Chaps, because they're green.

[B]

Will treacherous team Venus Flytrap or tricky Team Piranha snatch the win in today's smashboom battle? To judge this showdown, we have Kai here in the studio. Hi, Kai. Hello. So do you already have an opinion about Witches Cooler, Venus Flytraps or piranhas?

[A]

No.

[B]

Good.

[A]

Even if I did, I couldn't be biased.

[B]

Excellent. So you are the perfect judge for today. Now tell me, how do you feel about debates in general? Do you ever get in debates with your family or friends?

[A]

A lot of the time with my friends, we get into lots of political debates which I will not bring up at the moment.

[B]

What advice do you have for our debaters today?

[A]

Be nice to each other. You can have a really good opinion and you can phrase it in a way that is good, but you don't want to make the other person feel bad.

[B]

Excellent advice. You can voice your opinion without attacking the person who has the other opinion.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

All right. Well, let's introduce our debaters. Here to represent those lean green bug eating machines called Venus Flytraps is Jed Kim. Hi, Jed.

[D]

Hey. Venus Flytrap is going to blow you away, I promise.

[B]

Jed, in one sentence, why are Venus flytraps cooler than piranhas?

[D]

Every fish has teeth and bites, but this is a plant that eats pests.

[B]

And here to introduce the aggressors of the Amazon, those ferocious fishies known as piranhas, is Tracy Mumford. Hi, Tracy.

[C]

Hello, Team Piranha. We're gonna take you.

[B]

Why?

[C]

Oh, you'll learn.

[B]

Tracy, one sentence. Why are piranhas the Smash Boom Piranhas.

[C]

Combine fish, Grumpy Cat, and the Hulk, period.

[B]

Wow. You guys are both ready to go. I can tell. We are almost ready to kick off this toothy debate. But before we get started, let's review the flow of our show. We'll have four rounds of debate, starting with round one, the declaration of greatness. In this round, both contestants will do a deep dive into all the history, facts, and lore you need to know about their side. Round two is the micro round. We've asked contestants to prepare for a challenge that showcases their side in a creative way. Round three is the sneak attack, a surprise challenge. Debaters have no idea what's coming. They've got to improvise something persuasive on the spot. Round four is the final six, when our contestants have one more chance to sway our judge with just six words. And all you listeners at home, we want you to weigh in too. So find some scratch paper or download a custom scorecard from our website, Smash, and we'll let you know when it's time to award a point. All right, debaters, are you ready to go?

[D]

Let's do this.

[B]

Oh, yeah. And Kai, how about you? Are you all set?

[A]

Yes, I am very much ready.

[B]

Excellent. Let's get started on the first round of this Smash. Boom. Battle declaration of greatness. Both teams are going to make an epic declaration of greatness. We've flipped a coin, and Jed is up first. All right, Jedi. Ready, set, Best picture, if you will.

[D]

You're in the desert.

[C]

It's hot.

[D]

You're lost. Oh, no, you're starving. Then an idea. What if you just turn to that sun that's baking you and make it into a source of food? After all, plants turn sunlight into energy. It's called photosynthesis, baby. But sadly, you're not a plant. You can't eat sunlight, just like plants can't eat meat. I mean, it would be a pretty amazing organism that could do both. Am I right? Ladies and gentlemen, girls and boys and inferior predatory fish, let me introduce you to the Venus flytrap. This plant is a master of adaptation, so much so that famed scientist Charles Darwin, you know, the guy who came up with the theory of natural selection, he devoted an entire chapter to it in his book Insectivorous Plants, where he. This plant, commonly called Venus flytrap from the rapidity and force of its movements, is one of the most wonderful in the world. Charles Darwin. That's like getting a shout out from Leonardo da Vinci for having the best smile. Or like Leonardo DiCaprio saying you're his favorite actor. Like Leonardo the Ninja Turtle saying you make the best pizza. What makes the plant such an evolutionary marvel? I'm glad you asked. First of all, it lives in forests with a lot of soggy soil. Many plants can't live here because there isn't much nitrogen or phosphor. Plants need these nutrients to survive. Most plants get them from the soil. Venus flytraps get them from insects. The plants are about the size of a small stuffed animal, but they're not cuddly. At the bottom of each plant there are a handful of special leaves, each about the size of a thumb. They look like wide open mouths with green pointy teeth around the edges. Feed me. The leaves spread open, waiting for a bug to crawl across them. If a bug touches one of the leaves trigger hairs, it starts a timer in the next 20 seconds. If the bug touches a trigger hair again, an electrical signal zaps into the middle of the leaves. Water pressure inside the leaves change and pop. The leaves snap closed into a cage. Digestive enzymes, kind of like the acid in our stomachs, fill the trap, dissolving the bugs insides, which the plant eats to get all that yummy nitrogen and phosphorus. Then when the leaves open back up, all that's left is the hard shell which blows away, making room for another victim. Each trap on the plant can do this seven or eight times before they wither. That's why the 20 second timer exists. It's a fail safe so that the traps don't trigger on accident. Just another evolutionary adaptation from Charlie Darwin's favorite plant. Bestest plantever awesome Piranhas Bite d the Venus flytrap continues to excite scientists today. Like this guy.

[E]

My name is Clyde Sorensen. I'm a professor of entomology at North Carolina State University.

[D]

Clyde studies fly traps and his team recently learned something kind of shocking about them. They don't eat that many flies.

[E]

As it turns out, almost everybody that gets trapped walks or crawls into the traps. And almost everybody that visits the flowers flies to the flowers. What ends up in the traps is mostly spiders and small crickets and things like that.

[D]

That's super cool because it's the flying insects that pollinate the plants. You know, they land in a flower to eat nectar and accidentally get some pollen on them and carry it somewhere else to help new plants grow. If the plant trapped them, it'd have a harder time making more plants. Meanwhile, piranhas, well, here's Clyde.

[E]

Piranhas got nothing on a Venus flytrap. I mean piranhas only work if you have a whole bunch of them, you know, attacking all at one time. This is a plant that can't move and it still manages to eat things.

[D]

Good Point, Clyde. By the way, he says the scientific name for fly traps is Dionea muscapula.

[E]

Which is Latin for the God's little mouse trap.

[D]

That is an amazing name.

[E]

Personally, I think it should be called the Carolina Spider Trap, but it's not getting a lot of traction so far.

[D]

Why Carolina? Because the Venus flytrap is mainly native to the pine savannas of North Carolina. But please don't go zooming over there to collect one for yourself. Too many people have done that. Which is part of the reason the plant may soon be endangered in its native habitat. In fact, it's now a felony to collect them in North Carolina.

[A]

Step away from the Dionia dirtbag.

[D]

The happy news is you can order one online and grow it at home, but that's really hard to do with a piranha because they're not legal pets in many states. And while the Amazon river may have lots of piranhas, the Amazon website ain't touching them and neither should you. Seriously, don't touch them. Carolina spider trap for the win.

[B]

A very compelling case for Venus flytraps. Jed. Kai, what stood out to you in Jed's argument?

[A]

Well, to me, it stood out that he had a lot of good facts. However, during Charles Darwin, the smart guy, I'm pretty sure that they didn't use, like, hashtags, and I'm pretty sure that he would have better grammar than bestest.

[D]

Charles Darwin was a visionary man of the future. He saw a lot of things coming that he was ahead of his time.

[B]

Okay, Tracy, you have 30 seconds for your rebuttal. It's your chance to poke some holes in Jed's statement, and your time starts now.

[C]

I just want to talk a little bit about false advertising here. Let's break it down. Venus not from space.

[B]

Fly.

[C]

Don't even eat flies. Really? Trap. It takes 20 seconds for your trap to close. That's like, man, you're catching some really lazy stuff. I wouldn't really say you can attack anything. You get, like, the end of the barrel there, but, you know, that's fine. And also, I believe a piranha could eat you.

[B]

Yeah. And time.

[A]

You said that it takes 20 seconds to do the thing, right.

[B]

Mm.

[A]

To close it.

[D]

Take us home, Kai. I know what you're gonna say. It's gonna be amazing.

[A]

It's sort of smart, though, because it doesn't want to die.

[C]

That's a bad system, that if you close on accident, you die.

[D]

No, no, he's absolutely right.

[A]

You know, this is.

[D]

He is so smart.

[A]

You can't Bribe me if that's what you're trying to do. You can't.

[C]

He's onto the bribing. He's onto the bribing.

[B]

Gets you nowhere. Okay, now it's time for Tracy's declaration of greatness. Let's hear it.

[C]

Look, we've all heard the stories. Piranhas, terrors of the water, Toe nibbling monsters, nightmare fish. And, well, Richard Conniff, who's a writer, had heard the stories too.

[F]

And I figured, really, that they couldn't be as bad as they'd been made out to be, because they'd been made out to be really bad.

[C]

So Richard, he decided to test the stories. He went to the Dallas Aquarium, to the piranha exhibit at feeding time, and.

[F]

They had purchased a red bathing suit for me to wear because they thought that would get the piranha. And it's even more excited than usual.

[C]

And he stood there in that bright red swimsuit, getting ready to go in the water. And I'm kind of freaking out just thinking about it.

[F]

The curator at the aquarium, who had agreed to let me do this, was completely blase until, really, at the moment, we're standing on the edge of the tank and about to get in, and he says, but what if something goes wrong?

[C]

Yeah, Richard, what if?

[F]

And so we got in, and, um.

[B]

What.

[C]

What did the piranhas do?

[F]

They fled to the opposite corner and cowered there and basically left us alone.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

I mean, actually, that sounds about right. Piranhas are fascinating for many reasons, but they always get made out to be these scary villains. That's not true. You know who we have to thank for that, though? Teddy Roosevelt. Yeah, the former US President spread some pretty bad rumors about these pretty cool fish. But we'll get to that in a second. Welcome to the Truth About Piranhas. It's time for piranhas to get their full appreciation. They are like the fishy version of Grumpy Cat, but with hulk powers. Let me explain what I mean, and I'm gonna get a little help from Dan Lorbeski and Mari Oates from the Shedd Aquarium in Chicago, where they have a bunch of these little rock stars in the water. Piranhas you see mostly live in rivers and lakes in South America. And their name, piranha, are means toothfish, because, dang, their teeth are so sharp, people have been using them to make tools like axes for hundreds of years.

[B]

Timber.

[C]

And piranhas, they're buff. If you're thinking, how can a fish be buff? Well, their jaws are like the equivalent of the hulk's bicep. One species of piranha, because there are many different kinds, but one species can bite with 72 pounds of force, which.

[G]

Is 30 times his body weight. So in the animal world, it's a really powerful bite.

[B]

I'll say.

[C]

They can literally bite through steel. Their reputation stems from a misunderstanding. Back when the 26th US president, Teddy Roosevelt, went to visit the Amazon river more than 100 years ago. Villagers there staged a show. They trapped piranhas in the river, and they didn't feed them for days, so they got really hungry. And then when the former president came, the villagers tossed a cow into the water. The fish were starving. And, well, you can kind of imagine what happened next with all the teeth and the superpowered jaws. And it was. It was probably pretty gross to watch.

[G]

They'll pretty much either strip the bone or eat the bone.

[C]

So after seeing that, Roosevelt declared piranhas the most ferocious fish in the world. And he reported back what he saw to the United States, and people freaked out, which was super unfair. I mean, would you want to be judged at your hangriest? So they got this reputation, like, they would even eat humans. But, no.

[B]

Yeah, we're not. Humans aren't exactly part of their diet. No, it's a lot easier for a.

[H]

Piranha to eat something like a worm or insect.

[B]

Other fish trying to take a bite out of a human would be a lot of work and probably too stressful.

[C]

Now, I'm not saying they're the friendliest crew in the water. Dolphins win that one. Piranhas can be kind of grumpy, but, hey, they're honest about it. I respect that. If you get up in a piranha's face, they will bark at you. I said it. Barking fish.

[B]

You hear that?

[C]

That's just one of three sounds piranhas can make. Researchers actually studied what these sounds mean, and, well, none of them are a friendly hello. Now, if you were small enough to be a piranha snack, well, it would be over quick. Piranhas scarf their food fast. Like, turn a little fish into a skeleton in seconds, fast.

[G]

The way they'll do it is they'll go in real quick and grab a chunk, and they'll push it to the back of their mouth and grab another chunk right away and then swim away. So they can take two chunks without swallowing anything and then just leave.

[C]

That's pretty much me and a bag of Oreos, right? Like, two in the mouth and run. But anyway, piranhas are often scavengers Actually, not only are they not eating humans, they're not eating anything that's still alive. They're eating fish or other creatures that are already dead. So really, they're cleaning up messes. You can add that to the list. Piranhas are clean freaks. So to recap, piranhas can bark, they can bite hard, their teeth are like sharks, they're super fast eaters who never leave crumbs, and they have a special sound for go away. And piranha's a reminder to not listen to everything you hear. As Richard Connip says, bad guys in.

[F]

The natural world are seldom as bad as we make them out to be.

[C]

Take that, Teddy Roosevelt. Grumpy cat. Hulk fish forever.

[B]

Very persuasive, Tracy. Kai, what did you think of Tracy's declaration?

[A]

I thought there was a lot of cool facts like how they can bark and about how they were thought to be very ferocious. And they still somewhat are, but they just aren't ferocious to as many big animals.

[B]

Right. Not as ferocious as everyone thinks. Okay, Jed, you have got 30 seconds to respond to Tracey.

[A]

I hope you took notes.

[D]

I did.

[B]

And go.

[D]

Tracy, you bring up truth in advertising, and I think it's important for that to go both ways. I looked up a little bit about the piranha, and it turns out there are so many different species, it's hard to even know what piranha means. There are even some piranhas that are vegetarians. And by the way, your main argument, that they're not as deadly to humans as everyone says they are, that just makes them less cool. That's why everybody likes piranhas.

[C]

Time. You have a strange passion for things that might hurt you.

[D]

It would be a very lame movie to go see a piranha that just tickles you. Runs away.

[B]

Kai, I want you to award a point to either Team Venus Flytrap or Team Piranha, but don't say it out loud. Who is more convincing? Who presented the coolest facts? He's agoniz. I would say Kai is agonizing over this decision. It is a tough decision. It is tough because they're both so cool. So, Kai, did you mark a point?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Very good, listeners. Have you decided? Remember, you can always press pause to take more time to think or talk it over. And if you want to weigh in on this debate to send us an idea for the next one, head to smashboom.org. all right, debaters, how are you feeling at this point?

[D]

Oh, I feel great.

[C]

I feel hungry. I feel like. Yeah, maybe have A little Venus flytrap for dinner. That's how I'm feeling.

[B]

All right, I think these two need to give their lungs a rest.

[A]

Stay tuned and we'll be back in a moment with more smashboom.

[B]

Best.

[A]

You're watching State of Debate.

[C]

Home to rage and rhetoric and awe inspiring argumentation.

[I]

Taylor linking here along with four time debate champ Todd Douglas. Todd, our listeners are not gonna believe the factual smackdown we just got on tape.

[J]

That's right, Taylor. This one's a doozy. Student Sally Sprout and Principal Davis of Austin, Texas were in a heated debate over starting a school compost. Sally was for it, Principal Davis against it.

[I]

Now it looks like Principal Davis has the upper hand. But watch as Sally turns things around with her brilliant use of fish facts. Roll the tape.

[D]

Sorry, Sally.

[C]

I'm not on board with this whole school composting initiative.

[D]

It sounds like one big smelly hassle.

[H]

Living with the effects of global warming will be way more of a hassle than starting a school compost. Reducing food waste helps combat climate change.

[B]

I don't believe that. How?

[H]

20% of methane emissions in the United States come from the rotting food and organic waste in our landfills. And methane is a dangerous greenhouse gas. When it's first emitted, it's 84 times more potent than carbon dioxide.

[I]

Zoink ba doink. Those are some first rate facts.

[J]

I'll say. Way to let it rip, Sally.

[C]

Facts are one of the crucial building.

[I]

Blocks of a strong argument. But you gotta make sure they're true.

[J]

We fact checked Sally and everything she said about food waste was on point.

[I]

Yup, she really did her research, Todd. Now check this out. She follows up with some top notch citations.

[C]

I don't know where you got those.

[D]

Facts, but I don't believe it.

[C]

And anyway, doesn't composting create methane?

[H]

As a matter of fact, composting is an aerobic process that prevents or greatly reduces the creation of methane. If you don't believe me, you can find all this information and more on the United States Environmental Protection Agency website.

[I]

Boom goes the dynamite. Way to go, Sally.

[B]

Fact attack.

[C]

Fact attack.

[I]

Next time you're making an argument for something, be sure to do your research.

[J]

And find those facts.

[I]

Debate heads, that's all for today on State of Debate.

[B]

Best. Smash. Smash.

[D]

Boom.

[B]

This is smashboom Best, the show about showdowns. Like, have you ever thought about who would win this battle?

[A]

My debate idea is hamburgers versus hot dogs.

[B]

That matchup idea was sent to us by Isabella from Pearland, Texas. We'll give her A call at the end of the show to see who she thinks would win. All right, let's get back to our smash boom. Battle of the day. Venus Flytraps versus Piranhas. Our watery warrior and peckish plant are really bringing it. So put on your handling gloves and let's dive in. It's time for our creative challenge, the micro round. Micro round. This week's micro round challenge is Susian. Each contestant has been instructed to prepare a poem about their side in the style of Dr. Seuss. He's the author of Green eggs and ham and Cat in the Hat.

[A]

He's known for sick rhymes that never fall flat.

[B]

Exactly. Jed went first in the last round, so Tracy will have you take the lead with this one. Let's hear it.

[C]

Look. I'm a fish. I'm a fish with a dream. I dream to be liked that people won't scream Right now, the people, they're terribly scared. They're afraid of piranhas. It's really unfair. I only bite when I'm hungry and when I fight. And yes, I do bark all day and all night. But trust me, I only use my sharp teeth for good. I really don't bite all the things that I could. I use great restraint. Can't you see? Can't you tell I haven't eaten anyone in like, an hour or. Well, I'll tell you what, though, that you need to know. That houseplant you're watering, that thing should go. Venus flytrap, you say? What an interesting plant. Well, I'm not going near it. I won't, and I can't. You can't trust a plant that would try to dissolve you. A plant's dinner, you know, should not involve you. That plant, it has plans. Plans to entrap us. The way that it's looking, it's going to snap us. But don't worry, my friend, I'll bite our way out. My teeth are that sharp. I can fight our way out. They'll hear me barking. Get back, you green terror. Then I'll be a hero. You'll know that I care that's all that I want as a grumpy, bitey fish just to be liked. That's my one big great wish.

[A]

That was really good. Like, that was like some, like, Lin man, Miranda Hamilton stuff.

[B]

Oh, great.

[C]

That was like a roller coaster of emotion.

[B]

While team Piranha really came out swinging with a volley of verse. Tracy is setting the Susian bar very high today. But let's see what Team Venus Flytrap has got for us, Jed. Take it away.

[D]

All right. This is called the Better Pet. Poor Michael Fitzsimmons Brend, the nine year old kid who just wanted a friend. He asked for a fish and got one that bites worse than a supervillain in tights. One sad winter's day, he stayed home with a cold and while feeding his pet, he sneezed. So I'm told. Alas, his poor hand for a second had lingered inside the bowl. And now Mikey's eight fingered. If only he'd been more like Susie Fedora who begged her dad for some really cool flora. He got her a flytrap. Now she's free of gross bugs and has a green friend that will tolerate hugs. When picking a carnivorous pet, best not rush it. And if it has fins, please hurry and flush it. The wise child sides with these wonder plants. Cause piranhas, you see, are just underpants.

[A]

I don't know how I feel about that. You're just gonna kill an innocent fish like that?

[C]

I'm an underpants.

[D]

He bit off two of his fingers.

[B]

That was some seriously fierce rhyming all around, Kai and listeners at home, take a minute to mull it over. And please award a point to whoever you think won that round.

[A]

I already know.

[B]

That was fast. Good work. And now onto our next round, Sneak attack. The sneak attack is a surprise challenge, so Jed and Tracy don't know what it's going to be. Are you ready?

[C]

So ready.

[B]

Yes.

[D]

Yes, I'm ready.

[B]

Your super secret round is sloganeering where you have to come up with a slogan for your side. Like finger licking good. Just do it or taste the rainbow. Jed and Tracy will give you a minute to brainstorm while we play some relaxing hold music.

[C]

Fly trap, jaws open wide Waiting for a bug to wander inside. They gotta tickle twice before you snap.

[B]

Piranha Such a hungry one.

[C]

Grunt and gobble until they're done. River swimmers chomp meat to the bone.

[B]

Okay, are you both ready to pitch us some snappy slogans?

[D]

Yeah, let's do this.

[C]

So ready.

[B]

Okay, Jed, you're up first. Let's hear your slogan for Venus.

[D]

Flytraps got creepy crawlies. Send em to Venus.

[B]

Nice. Now it's your turn to sell us on piranhas. Tracy, what'd you come up with?

[C]

Super bitey, but not so frighty.

[B]

Excellent work, you two.

[A]

Was that a round?

[B]

That was the round. Super fast short lightning sneak attack. Sweet. All right, so those are some hard sells. Kai, I'm gonna give you a second here to reflect and award a point for this very short round. Did you write it down? Yep. Excellent. We're almost at the end of this unbeliefable showdown, but you're not off the hook yet. Self. High five for those amazing puns. Anyway, it's time for.

[A]

The final six.

[B]

Both debaters have just six words to sway Kai before he awards the final point of this debate. Tracy, go for it.

[C]

Piranhas are misunderstood, but still winners.

[B]

Jed, your turn.

[D]

Sunshine and bugs eats it all.

[B]

Okay, Kai, it's time to mark down your point for this round. Listeners at home, you too. Which six word statement did you think was the smash Boom. Best. All right, drum roll, please. Who came out on top?

[A]

Both of them.

[B]

It's a. Yeah. Wow. Oh, you guys, you did so well. But don't worry, we have a tiebreaker. We have a special sudden death challenge prepared for situations like this.

[C]

Sudden death.

[B]

Jed and Tracy, if your side was a crayon color, what color would it be? What would you call the color? Jed, you're up first.

[D]

The color is Snappy Green Eater.

[A]

Hmm.

[B]

So what shade of green would that be?

[D]

Well, it is a lovely dark green on the outside. See, inside there's a core of red, like the bright red of the inside of the leaves of a Venus flytrap. Oh, and by the way, if you're a bug using this crayon, you die.

[C]

I never thought I'd be afraid of a crayon, but I am now.

[D]

Are you a bug? You should be.

[C]

My crayon color is called red bellied. It's named after my favorite species of piranha, the red bellies.

[B]

It's a.

[C]

It's a beautiful crimson color and red bellies. If you see piranhas at aquariums, that's the kind of piranha you're seeing are the red bellied ones. And you'll see them, you know, not eating anybody's fingers.

[B]

All right, it all comes down to this. Did Jed's snappy green crayon give him the edge? Or did Tracy's tribute to red bellied piranhas sway our judge? It's time to rake this tie and declare a winner of today's debate showdown. Drumroll, please. Kai, who won this debate?

[A]

I mean, I liked the way that both of you described your colors, but I liked the little fact about, like, if you're a bug using the crayon team.

[B]

Venus Flytrap.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Ooh.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

I did have a Venus flytrap at one point in my life.

[B]

Did you?

[C]

I definitely killed it, but I didn't mean to I would have loved if it was still alive. So I'm glad to know more about this very interesting plant that I definitely killed at one point. Maybe more than one of them. Not going to lie, Tracy.

[D]

It was hard fought. You laid out some brilliant arguments and you've convinced me that maybe I shouldn't be terrified of piranhas. Maybe I would like to own one someday.

[C]

So I'll see you at the Dallas Aquarium in our red swimsuits, right?

[D]

Let's hang out.

[B]

Well, Kai thinks Venus Flytraps won, but how about you head to our website smashboom.org and vote? You can see if other people agree with Kai.

[A]

I'm pretty sure I'm right, but we'd love to know what you think.

[B]

That's it for this magnificent matchup. Smashboom Best is a creation of the people at Brains on and American Public Media.

[D]

It's produced by Mark Sanchez, Sended Totten, Molly Bloom, Elissa Dudley and Rosie Dupont.

[C]

We had engineering help from Sean Campbell and John Miller.

[D]

And we had production help from Maneka Wilhelm, Christina Lopez and Lauren D. Brenna.

[B]

Everson is the voice of our hold music and our announcer is Marley Foyer worker Otto. We want to give a special thanks to Justin Koo, Taylor Kaufman, Ariana Giles and Austin Cross. Tracy, is there anyone that you want to thank today?

[C]

I need to thank Richard Conniff, the author of Swimming with Piranhas at Feeding Time. Also, of course, our friends at the Shedd Aquarium in Chicago.

[B]

What about you, Jed?

[D]

I need to thank Clyde Sorenson for giving me such great facts about the Venus Flytrap. Also, my great voice actors, Elliot Eloise and Kevin Thompson, John Buckley, Beth Sefton and Megan Hazel.

[B]

And how about you, Kai? Do you have any special shout outs?

[A]

I'd like to shout out my family and my friends.

[B]

Very nice. And before we go, let's call up Isabella. She is the listener who suggested the hamburgers versus hot dogs debate. Here's who she thinks would win.

[A]

I think that hot dogs would win because they are in one bun. So you can eat it like a taco.

[B]

I like the way you think, Isabella. Listeners, do you have an idea for an epic Showdown? Head to smashboom.com and tell us all about it. This show runs on your awesome debate ideas. And that's it for this episode of smashboom Best. We'll be back soon with another debate battle. See you.

[G]

Bye.

[C]

Feel like you're trying to plant some ideas here, Jed.

[A]

Oh, that was good. I'm not gonna lie, that was pretty good.

[C]

I'M gonna go ahead and take a.

[B]

Bite out of that.