Rice vs Noodles

Summary

Smash Boom Best: Rice vs. Noodles (August 7, 2019)

Overview

In this episode of Smash Boom Best, host Molly Bloom is joined by guest judge Christian and debaters Joy Dolo (Team Rice) and Megan McCarty Carino (Team Noodles) to settle the age-old question: which is cooler, rice or noodles? Through playful, passionate arguments and creative challenges, audience members are taken on a flavorsome journey exploring the history, versatility, and cultural significance of these beloved starches. After several fun rounds, audience input, and a final magic-themed face-off, rice claims victory—at least according to Christian, though listeners are encouraged to decide for themselves.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

Introduction & Pre-Debate Thoughts (00:10–02:08)

• Rice and Noodles: A Starchy Showdown

  • Both are widely loved, but each brings something special. Molly, Christian, and co-host Megan share their personal preferences and humorous anecdotes about "rice as a phone rescue tool" (00:43) and noodles as a bold flavor carrier.
  • Christian admits an initial noodle bias:

    “Because they have a bunch of flavor in it and it could mostly go with the vegetables you’re supposed to eat. So it’s kind of getting healthy for you.” (01:49, Christian)

• Meet the Debaters

  • Joy Dolo (Rice) and Megan McCarty Carino (Noodles) step up, each given a chance to pitch, in a single sentence, why their side is the best.
    • Joy: “Rice is versatile one. It’s delicious and it’s tiny, but it’s so mighty. Rice smash. It’s smashed so hard.” (02:39)
    • Megan: “Noodles have a lot more variety...Noodles can go in soups. Noodles can go in sauces. Things can go inside of noodles...” (03:27)

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Declaration of Greatness: Rice (05:15–10:36)

• Joy Dolo’s Case for Rice:
  • Rice’s mythic origins: The Miao legend of a heroic nine-tailed dog who brings rice to humankind after stealing it from the gods (06:21).
  • Ancient roots: 8,000+ years of rice history, spanning from China to the world, including rare varieties like forbidden black rice, Thai jasmine, basmati, and arborio (07:00-08:00).
  • Unexpected strength: Sticky rice was a key ingredient in creating a durable mortar for sections of the Great Wall of China (08:22-09:11).

    “And that rice and brick concoction is sort of famous. It’s a section of a little thing called the great wall of China. That’s right. Rice is a part of one of the seven wonders of the world.” (09:11, Joy)

  • Cultural and personal nostalgia: Growing up eating Liberian rice dishes, rice as a family and community staple (09:30-10:06).

    “My mom is hands down the best cook anywhere in the world, which is why I trust her when she says rice is number one.” (10:08, Joy)

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Declaration of Greatness: Noodles (11:52–17:11)

• Megan McCarty Carino’s Case for Noodles:
  • Endlessly customizable: Noodles come in all shapes, sizes, and flavors—from spaghetti to boba, from dumplings to lasagna (11:57-12:18).

    “If you think of boba, you know, it’s a kind of round noodle that goes into tea. Bubble tea. It is. It’s a noodle.” (12:18)

  • Ingredient diversity: Noodles can be made with wheat, rice, yams, seaweed, roots, etc. (12:24–13:07).
  • World records and artistry: The world’s longest noodle stretched 10,000 feet (almost two miles long), and hand-making noodles is an art (13:57-15:16).
  • Deep roots: Archaeological evidence of 4,000-year-old millet noodles in China, predating even the ancient pyramids of Egypt (13:59–14:45).
  • Joy and ritual: The pleasure of slurping noodles and experiencing unique cultural food rituals (16:12–16:30).

    “There’s a lot of rituals that we practice. When you slurp noodles and you are allowed to make noise. And I used to get goose pimples as a child, just walking by a noodle shop and hear all these people slurping in the morning.” (16:12, Sonoko Sakai)

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Rebuttals & Notable Exchanges

• Noodles as Dogs vs. Rice as Cats:
  Megan creatively flips the animal metaphor, suggesting noodles are as diverse as dogs, rice as uniform as cats (11:39).
• Age One-Upmanship:
  Joy emphasizes that rice pre-dates noodles by several millennia (17:49).

  “Rice was over 8,000 years ago. Literally double the amount.” (17:49, Joy)

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Micro Round: Superhero Movie Trailers (22:05–25:06)

• Noodles’ Quantum Hero:
  Megan’s sci-fi nod as “Quantum Noodle” battles the villainous “Risatron” on planet Stovis, offering “endless delicious variety” with humorous wordplay.

  “I’m a string, I’m a spiral. I’m a cheese packed pillow of power. I’m gluten free if need be.” (23:25, Megan)

• Rice’s Avengers:
  Joy’s ensemble of rice varieties (“Arborio, Basmati, Forbidden, and Jasmine”) star as the “Rice Revengers,” solving hunger and everyday problems, promising “to bind, to satisfy hunger, and to kick butt.” (24:29, Joy)

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Sneak Attack: Team Chants (26:05–28:39)

• Joy (Rice) Chant:

  “Rice, Rice is so nice.
  Rice, rice, eat it more than thrice.
  Rice, rice, they will suffice.
  Rice, rice, rice is better than noodles.” (26:44, Joy)

• Megan (Noodle) Chant:

  “I believe that we are long.
  I believe that we are round.
  I believe that we can be really any shape you can imagine,
  including some very silly and very cool ones. Noodles, Noodles.” (27:56, Megan)

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The Final Six (28:48–29:24)

• Noodles:

  “Slurpable rainbow of delicious dough art.” (28:59, Megan)

• Rice:

  “Noodles are fine. Rice is better. That’s straight from Wikipedia, you guys.” (29:11, Joy)

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Sudden Death: Magic Act Face-off (30:08–32:24)

• Rice as Magician (“Rice Angel”):
  Absorbs the ocean with a single grain, emerges from boiling water more flavorful, and features “The beautiful Mrs. Porkchop” in a rice magic spectacular.

  “Watch the beautiful Mrs. Porkchop lay out a rice pollini magnificence and watch the deliciousness…” (31:23, Joy)

• Noodle Magician (“The Amazing Stretch”):
  “Slinging her stretchy body around the room in endless stretchy loops that will make your hunger disappear,” starring the saucy sidekick Meatball (31:41–32:13).

• Christian awards the final point to rice, citing the boiling water trick as particularly impressive:

  “Like the part where she was talking about... watch the rice, do the death defying trick, put it in boiling water, and watch it come out more tasteful.” (33:46, Christian)

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Memorable Quotes

• “Noodles have a lot more variety...Noodles can go in soups. Noodles can go in sauces. Things can go inside of noodles...” (03:27, Megan McCarty Carino)
• “Rice is a part of one of the seven wonders of the world.” (09:11, Joy Dolo)
• “If you think of boba, you know, it’s a kind of round noodle that goes into tea. Bubble tea. It is. It’s a noodle.” (12:18, Megan McCarty Carino)
• “Rice, Rice is so nice. Rice, rice, eat it more than thrice. Rice, rice, they will suffice. Rice, rice, rice is better than noodles.” (26:44, Joy Dolo)
• “Slurpable rainbow of delicious dough art.” (28:59, Megan McCarty Carino)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:10 – Debate topic introduction and personal takes
• 05:15 – Joy’s Declaration of Greatness for Rice
• 11:52 – Megan’s Declaration of Greatness for Noodles
• 22:05 – Micro Round: Superhero Trailers
• 26:05 – Sneak Attack: Team Chants
• 28:48 – Final Six-Word Summaries
• 30:08 – Sudden Death Magic Act Face-off
• 33:46 – Christian explains why he chose rice

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Conclusion

This episode is a playful, high-energy exploration of two beloved foods, replete with historical trivia, creative arguments, and plenty of kid-friendly wordplay and banter. While rice eked out the victory thanks to a “death-defying” magic act and personal connections, both sides made passionate, humorous, and genuinely informative cases. Whether you’re a noodle enthusiast or a rice devotee, you’ll leave entertained, hungry, and ready to debate your own favorite starch.

For more debate battles or to cast your vote, visit smashboom.org.

Transcript

[Megan McCarty Carino]

From the brains behind brains on, it's.

[Christian]

Smash Boom Best, the show for people with big opinions.

[Molly Bloom]

I'm Molly Bloom, and this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. Two of the world's most beloved starches are taking the stage today. On one side, we have mighty multicolored rice, and on the other, we have slippery, slurpable noodles. We know they're both yummy, but which one do you think is cooler?

[Megan McCarty Carino]

I eat a lot of pasta. I like rice.

[Molly Bloom]

I can just eat a whole thing of, like, plain takeout rice with some soy sauce. Rice is alright.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

It's like a base for other flavors, though.

[Molly Bloom]

And noodles are just good on their own. You can put your phone in rice.

[Christian]

If you drop it in the toilet.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

Just noodles, like, come on.

[Molly Bloom]

It's a tricky choice, but luckily Christian is here to help us make this delicious decision. Hi, Christian.

[Christian]

Hi.

[Molly Bloom]

So, Christian, I want to start by asking you, do you get into debates with your friends or family Sometimes.

[Christian]

Depends what it is. Like which channel to watch or what food to eat or to go to which restaurants.

[Molly Bloom]

So to our debate of the day, rice versus noodles. Do you like rice?

[Christian]

Yes, I do like rice because it can go mostly with anything and also soaks up all the flavor.

[Molly Bloom]

So how do you usually prepare the rice? First?

[Christian]

I like putting the rice and then the meat on top for the rice can soak up the juice.

[Molly Bloom]

Excellent. What about noodles? Do you like noodles?

[Christian]

Yes, very much.

[Molly Bloom]

What is your favorite type of noodle?

[Christian]

All of them. Delicious to me.

[Molly Bloom]

Do you think one of them is cooler already?

[Christian]

It would go with noodles. Okay.

[Molly Bloom]

Why do you think you come in with this noodle bias? Potentially?

[Christian]

Because they have a bunch of flavor in it and it could mostly go with the vegetables you're supposed to eat. So it's kind of getting healthy for you.

[Molly Bloom]

Very interesting. Well, I know we have one debater here today who wants to change your mind, but do you think you can put that bias aside and look at this in an impartial way today?

[Christian]

Okay.

[Molly Bloom]

Okay. Well, I'm getting hungry, so let's meet our debaters. Here to represent the glorious grain we call rice, it's Joy Dolo. Hi, Joy.

[Joy Dolo]

Hi. And the crowd goes wild for rice. You guys cool that we have to do this debate? Everybody, Sorry, it's just big crowd behind me that just loves rice. I don't know who brought them in the studio.

[Molly Bloom]

So, Joy, in one sentence, why is rice the Smash Boom best?

[Joy Dolo]

Oh, one sentence. If only Rice is versatile one. It's delicious and it's tiny, but it's so mighty. Rice smash. It's smashed so hard.

[Molly Bloom]

Christian, I think you got her fired up by saying you like noodles better. You did.

[Joy Dolo]

I'm so excited to prove you wrong in a very nice way, Christian.

[Molly Bloom]

And here to represent nosh able noodles, it's Megan McCarty Carino. Hi, Megan. Hello.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

I hope you're ready for a fu rocious argument.

[Molly Bloom]

Oh.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

Like pho noodles.

[Joy Dolo]

I don't get it.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

In case you didn't make that leap, I'm gonna take you there.

[Molly Bloom]

So, Megan, in one sentence, why are noodles the cooler carbohydrate?

[Megan McCarty Carino]

Well, noodles have a lot more variety. You can put a lot of different ingredients into noodles. You can put ingredients on top of noodles. Noodles can go in soups. Noodles can go in sauces. Things can go inside of noodles, like dumplings. Noodles are better.

[Molly Bloom]

Well, we have a yummy conundrum on our hands. But before we dive in, let's review each round of debate. First up, we've got the declaration of greatness. In this round, each debater uses facts, history, and lore to make a case for why their side is the coolest. After each declaration, the other side has 30 seconds to rebut their opponent's statement. Then we have the micro round. In this round, each team has prepared a response to a funny prompt, and it's their job to woo you with their imaginative skills. The third round is the sneak attack. This is when we surprise our debaters with a prompt they have to respond to on the spot. And finally, we've got the final six, where each debater has to seal the deal with six words about their side. And if it's a tie, we go to sudden. After each round, Christian will award a point to either rice or noodles. Listeners at home. We want you to judge too, so find something to write with and keep track of those points. When the show is over, go to smashboom.org and vote for the team you think deserves the title of smashboom best. All right, debaters, are you ready?

[Joy Dolo]

I was born ready.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

I am so ready.

[Joy Dolo]

I'm at my boiling point.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

Hey, me too.

[Joy Dolo]

No, I said it first. Megan.

[Molly Bloom]

Well, let this food fight begin.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

Declaration of greatness.

[Molly Bloom]

All right, we flipped a coin, and joy is up first. Let's hear your declaration of greatness for rice.

[Joy Dolo]

Well, I have a confession to make. I actually really like noodles. I have pasta regularly, and my husband is a master zoodles maker. Zucchini noodles. But when it comes to the champion, the greatest of all time, the King of the Mountain. It has to be rice. Rice is so delicious, so nutritious, so superior to all other foods, that in some ancient myths, it came from the heavens above. Like this legend from the Miao people of southern China. It stars an unlikely hero. That's right. A devoted doggie. According to Miao legend, this dog had nine tails. His humans were often hungry, so he decided to get them a new food they could grow. He snuck into the heavens to steal from the gods rice stores. But the divine guards caught our heroic pooch, Red Pod, and before he could escape, they cut off eight of his tails. But when the dog returned to Earth, his humans discovered something.

[Molly Bloom]

The dog.

[Joy Dolo]

It's back.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

And what's that in its one remaining tail?

[Narrator/Voice Actor]

Is that.

[Joy Dolo]

It's rice.

[Todd Douglas]

Scram.

[Narrator/Voice Actor]

Kitty dogs are our new best friend.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

Yay, dogs. And yay rice.

[Joy Dolo]

Makes sense that our most beloved of foods would come from our most beloved of pets. What's that? Timmy fell in a well. Oh, no. Oh. Outside. Poop, poop. Peep, peep. Oh. Rice is better than noodles. That makes more sense. Scientists believe that rice first appeared near the Yangtze river in China over 8,000 years ago. The people that lived in the area started trading rice, and before long, it was growing throughout southern China. Then rice spread from China to Sri Lanka to India, the Mediterranean, North Africa, and Europe. And from Europe, it was brought over to what was known back then as the New World. And people realized they could grow rice pretty much everywhere. In the tropics, the wetlands, probably even in your sock drawer. And recently, a group of Chinese scientists successfully grew rice in the desert too. There are tons of varieties of rice all over the world. There's the familiar brown and white rice, but have you ever heard of black rice? Also known as forbidden rice, it was reserved for emperors and royalty in ancient China. There's Thai jasmine rice that has a floral smell. There's basmati rice from Pakistan and India, which is aged for a whole year. And Italian arborio rice that's used in risottos. The list goes on and on because there are thousands of different varieties of rice. And not to make this weird, but there are even rice noodles. So awkward. But rice can defend against more than hunger. It can defend against attacks, too. Feel my wrath.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

Take that.

[Todd Douglas]

Uh, did you just throw rice at me?

[Joy Dolo]

Okay, not just rice. Allow me to explain. Around 600 years ago, China had a big problem. Their neighbors to the north, in what is now Mongolia, were not so friendly. They were constantly attacking Chinese villages at the northern border, and people were over it. So the Chinese government decided to build some defense. They wanted to build a wall to protect them. But not just any wall. A rice fortified wall. They used a paste of sticky rice flour mixed with a form of limestone to hold the bricks together.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

Ha ha. Try to defeat us now. You'll never break through our great rice wall.

[Joy Dolo]

And that rice and brick concoction is sort of famous. It's a section of a little thing called the great wall of China. That's right. Rice is a part of one of the seven wonders of the world. It's bound so tightly that to this day, weeds cannot grow through the bricks in some places. Because of noodles. Just kidding. Because of rice. Finally, I find rice nostalgic because I grew up eating my mom's favorite rice dishes. And my mom is definitely team rice because I was born eating rice. My family is from Liberia and west Africa, and we eat rice as often as most people eat bread anytime I go somewhere. Rice, rice, rice. My mom loves to cook Liberian rice dishes like jollof rice, hot pepper soup, and rice. Or my personal favorite, cassava leaves and rice with palm butter, y'.

[Molly Bloom]

All.

[Joy Dolo]

And my mom is hands down the best cook anywhere in the world, which is why I trust her when she says rice is number one. And when you have to make a choice, you have to save rice. Rice is number one because it's delicious, it's versatile, it has a rich history, and most of all because my mom said so. Thanks. I'll be here all week, everybody.

[Molly Bloom]

That was a rousing declaration of greatness for rice and special cameo from mama Dolo.

[Christian]

Yeah, I like the part where she talked about the rice wall.

[Molly Bloom]

Yeah. That is.

[Christian]

I feel like. Couldn't they have just eaten their way through the wall? Could have just eaten the rice.

[Molly Bloom]

The limestone might not be so delicious.

[Joy Dolo]

Yeah, limestone is kind of concrete. Y. I think.

[Molly Bloom]

Okay, Meghan, I'm guessing you have a lot to say, so you've got 30 seconds for your rice rebuttal, and your time starts now.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

All right, well, it's funny you should say that. You like noodles too, because I really like rice too. It makes maybe the second best ingredient for noodles after wheat. And in front of a bunch of other things that you can put into noodles also, you know, dogs and noodles. Dogs are cool. Really? I would say rice is kind of like more like a cat, because it's like, there might be a lot of variety, but of all the house cats, they all just kind of look like cats, whereas noodles are like dogs. Noodles have, you know, they could be long or short or big or small or tight.

[Joy Dolo]

Yeah, you know, that's a really good rebuttal about the cats.

[Molly Bloom]

All right, Megan, it is time for your declaration of greatness for noodles.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

And go picture your favorite noodles.

[Molly Bloom]

Okay.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

I know it's impossible to choose, right? Because there are so many amazing noodles. You got saucy noodles like spaghetti or chow mein, noodle soup, soups like ramen or pho, stuffed noodles like ravioli or dumplings, flat noodles like lasagna. Even noodles you probably didn't even know are noodles.

[Additional Voice Actor]

If you think of boba, you know, it's a kind of round noodle that goes into tea. Bubble tea. It is. It's a noodle.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

What, those little black balls at the bottom of bubble tea are noodles? Mind blown, right? Ken Alballa is an historian at the University of the Pacific who is rightly obsessed with noodles, which he. Bobas are any food made from a dough that combines a starchy flour with a liquid that is then formed into shapes. So boba is tapioca flour mixed with water. Most Italian and Chinese noodles are made from wheat. Pho noodles are made from rice. There's noodles made from yams and seaweed and roots.

[Additional Voice Actor]

The ingredients for noodles can be grown anywhere. So you have a greater diffusion of local noodles and many more types of noodles than you would rice.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

And they can be made into practically any shape you can imagine.

[Additional Voice Actor]

There's an ancient Chinese text called the Ode to Bing that mentions puppies, tongues, and pigs noses. Like, there's so many. So many very silly shapes. You know, radiators or little ears. I mean, they're all kind of silly and funny.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

There's even noodles that are shaped like rice. Yeah, you can have noodles made from rice and shaped like rice, but which still all the awesome, delicious qualities of noodles and none of the boringness of rice. Win. Win. But noodles can also be enormous. In China, there are master noodle pullers who make very, very, very long noodles. The record for the longest noodle ever made is 10,000ft long.

[Joy Dolo]

That's almost two miles.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

So where did these magical coils of coolness come from? Well, there's a lot of legends and disagreements, but we do know that the oldest noodles ever discover in northwest China at an archaeological site called Lajia. And they date back 4,000 years. That was just about 500 years after the pyramids of Giza were built in Egypt in what was known as the Bronze Age, when humans were just figuring out how to make tools out of bronze. And apparently Noodles.

[Joy Dolo]

I'll just mix this with a little water.

[Molly Bloom]

Mmm.

[Joy Dolo]

Delicious millet noodles.

[Molly Bloom]

Okay.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

We don't know how delicious they were, but we do know that before these early noodle eaters got to finish their beautiful steaming bowls.

[Joy Dolo]

Oh, boy.

[Todd Douglas]

A noodle dinner just for me.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

Something terrible happened. Archaeologists think an earthquake struck, triggering a massive mudslide that buried the village and the noodles in the rubble. We don't know what happened to these ancient noodle lovers, but archaeologists found their dinner preserved under the debris thousands of years later, making them the oldest known noodles. Today, most noodles are made by a machine, but not all.

[Sonoko Sakai]

Besides being something that's really delicious to eat, I think that making noodles by hand is just a wonderful thing to do.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

Sonoko Sakai is a cooking teacher who grew up in Japan. Her favorite noodles to make are soba noodles, which are made from buckwheat dough and cut into very thin, square shaped strips.

[Sonoko Sakai]

Anything that you do with dough, I think takes a lot of practice and good instincts, you know, because you have to feel the hydration, feel the temperature, and talk to your dough like, hello, dough.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

How are you feeling?

[Additional Voice Actor]

Oh, you know, just a little kneady.

[Todd Douglas]

Get it?

[Additional Voice Actor]

Kneady.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

But when you're done comes the absolutely best, most wonderful part. Eating the noodles.

[Sonoko Sakai]

There's a lot of rituals that we practice. When you slurp noodles and you are allowed to make noise. And I used to get goose pimples as a child, just walking by a noodle shop and hear all these people slurping in the morning.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

Noodles can be made with almost any ingredient in any part of the world. Shaped into thousands of different silly shapes, stretched two miles long, put in soup, sauce, casseroles, and even bubble tea. They make a fantastic last meal during a natural disaster. They can be preserved intact for 4,000 years. The best ones require the skilled artistry of a noodle master. And they make the most beautiful, satisfying, tantalizing sound. Try doing that with rice. Actually, don't. You might get hurt. Noodles for the win.

[Christian]

Oh.

[Molly Bloom]

A very persuasive declaration for noodles. Christian, what stood out to you about Megan's tribute to noodles?

[Christian]

The part that stood out for me is when she said that you can shape noodles into whatever you want. Instead of any thinking that can't you shave noodles into a bowl and then put noodles in that bowl?

[Megan McCarty Carino]

Oh, yeah, you could.

[Molly Bloom]

That is next level, Christian. All right. Well, Joy, I'm guessing you have some thoughts to share.

[Joy Dolo]

Just one or a million.

[Molly Bloom]

So you have 30 seconds for your noodle negation and your time Starts now.

[Joy Dolo]

Okay, so the longest noodle is two miles. The longest rice wall was the great wall, which is a little more than two miles. And it's cool that, you know, like you can make dough to make noodles, but rice is grown, it's all natural. It comes from the earth. And isn't that what we want as people and citize of this great earth that we live on? Also, 4000 years ago is when they found the first noodles. Rice was over 8,000 years ago. Literally double the amount. Also, were you related to any of these noodle masters? Because my mom was definitely interviewed.

[Molly Bloom]

Calling mom in.

[Joy Dolo]

Oh, yeah, she's in on speed dial.

[Molly Bloom]

Okay, Christian, it's time. It's time to award a point. Which is cooler, rice or noodles? Don't tell us, but mark it down on your score sheet.

[Joy Dolo]

I want to hear any slurping out of you. Megan.

[Molly Bloom]

Have you made a decision? Yeah, he did. He made a decision. And listeners, how about you? Have you decided? If you want to send us a message about today's debate, head to smashboom.org and send us a note. Okay, debaters, we're going to give you a moment to refuel. Have a sushi roll or a bowl of spaghetti because you're going to that energy for the next three rounds. But don't go too far.

[Christian]

We'll be right back with some more smash Boom. Best.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

You're watching State of Debate, home to rage and rhetoric and awe inspiring argumentation.

[Todd Douglas]

Todd Douglas here with 13 time debate champ Taylor Lincoln.

[Taylor Lincoln]

Yep. And today we're rolling over to a shoe store in Toronto, Canada where two young women are arguing over which shoes they should buy. Rubberdoodles or clomberoos.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

Sounds like a tuffy lace up Walk out.

[Taylor Lincoln]

Roll tape.

[Molly Bloom]

I've never seen these rubberdoodle shoes before. They're pretty cool.

[Joy Dolo]

Ew, Jade, don't get rubber doodles. Get a pair of klomperoos. Everyone's buying them, so they must be the best, right?

[Taylor Lincoln]

Shooby dooby doo. What a poo poo of an argument.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

Pee you.

[Todd Douglas]

Yep. Vanessa's peer pressuring Jade into buying klomparoos.

[Taylor Lincoln]

She's using a logical foul called the bandwagon effect to do it.

[Todd Douglas]

Logical fallacies are debate mistakes that make it easier for your opponent to tear your argument apart.

[Taylor Lincoln]

And the bandwagon effect is when you argue that something must be true because everyone else thinks so. Let's hear it again.

[Joy Dolo]

Everyone's buying them, so they must be the best, right?

[Molly Bloom]

Wrong.

[Todd Douglas]

Just because something is popular doesn't mean it's cool.

[Taylor Lincoln]

Let's see if Vanessa can come up with a more persuasive angle fashion forward that tape.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

But I don't want to look like everyone else.

[Molly Bloom]

But jade, you can get them in.

[Joy Dolo]

Any color you want.

[Molly Bloom]

Pick a color no one else has. Hmm. That's true.

[Joy Dolo]

And remember, in clomperoos, you can clomp and roo in your own special hue. They're the only shoe for you.

[Molly Bloom]

Hoo hoo.

[Todd Douglas]

I want to clomp and roof.

[Taylor Lincoln]

Me too.

[Todd Douglas]

And you know why? Cause Vanessa gave Jade good reasons to get clapperoos.

[Molly Bloom]

They're colorful.

[Joy Dolo]

They're fun.

[Todd Douglas]

She explained why they're popular.

[Taylor Lincoln]

The bandwagon effect is when you just say they're popular.

[Molly Bloom]

So they're the best.

[Todd Douglas]

That's what people say about me, Todd, because I'm funny, gamefully employed, and good looking.

[Molly Bloom]

See?

[Todd Douglas]

I supplied evidence.

[Taylor Lincoln]

Okay, well, nice save.

[Todd Douglas]

We'll catch you gators later on.

[Joy Dolo]

State of debate.

[Molly Bloom]

Best.

[Joy Dolo]

Boom.

[Molly Bloom]

Smash. Smash Boom Best. This is Smash Boom Best, the show about showdowns. Have you ever thought about who would win this battle? My debate ideas. Fire versus Ice. That debate idea was sent to us by Zeke from Arroyo Grande, California. We'll give him a call at the end of the show to see who he thinks would win. Now, I know your tummies might be rumbling, so let's get back to it. It's time for round two.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

The micro round.

[Molly Bloom]

Our micro round is Smash. Boom. Superhero. We asked Joy and Megan to write a movie trailer for a superhero movie starring their side. Joy went first last time. So, Megan, you're up. Let's hear your super noodle movie trailer.

[Narrator/Voice Actor]

A long, long, long, long noodle. Away in a world turned slurp free. The evil lord Risatron has captured the high throne of planet Stovis, plotting to take over the galaxy.

Ha ha. Bow down to your galactic grain overlord.

And unite the warring factions of the cook planetary systems behind him by infecting their bodies with brain eating aliens. Turning the warriors into mind numbed zombies who desire only a single boring food in a choice of just one shape and two flavors. White or brown.

[Molly Bloom]

Mmm.

[Narrator/Voice Actor]

Rice. So plain, so boring.

The Rice o Tron takeover was near. But he forgot just one thing.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

Hey, rice zombies, chew on this.

[Narrator/Voice Actor]

It's quantum noodle stretching through time, shape shifting through universes.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

I'm a string, I'm a spiral. I'm a cheese packed pillow of power. I'm gluten free if need be.

[Narrator/Voice Actor]

This slippery hero is here to bring justice and endless delicious Variety Quantum noodle.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

You're so tough. No, ma', am. I'm just al dente.

[Narrator/Voice Actor]

Coming soon to a bowl near you.

[Joy Dolo]

That is great delight.

[Molly Bloom]

All right, Joy, it's your turn. Let's hear your take on a superhero trailer for rice.

[Narrator/Voice Actor]

In a world where everyone is hungry.

[Molly Bloom]

Oh boy.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

I'm so hungry.

[Narrator/Voice Actor]

An impossible situation.

[Joy Dolo]

How am I gonna get this house of cards to stick together? My baby. My baby.

[Narrator/Voice Actor]

Can someone feed my baby one grain of rice?

[Molly Bloom]

Don't you understand?

[Joy Dolo]

Feeding people is in my path fast. I'm just a single grain of rice.

[Narrator/Voice Actor]

What could I do to rule them all?

[Joy Dolo]

I'm going to need water. A whole lot of water.

[Narrator/Voice Actor]

One grain will absorb the courage to bind, to satisfy hunger and to kick butt. Aborio, Basmati, Forbidden and Jasmine star in Rice Revengers. The pot runneth over. A trilogy coming to a rice cooker near you in 20 to 25 minutes.

[Molly Bloom]

Oh man. I would go see both of those movies.

[Joy Dolo]

3D IMAX.

[Molly Bloom]

Yes. I would get the home version. I would watch it over and over. Okay, Christian, it's time to award a point for one of these starchly amazing foods. Okay. Have you given a point?

[Christian]

Yes.

[Molly Bloom]

Oh. Was it a tough decision?

[Christian]

Kind of.

[Joy Dolo]

Oh, okay. Things are getting easier for Krish.

[Molly Bloom]

Not as close this round. Well, that brings us to our third round. The sneak attack. You guys ready?

[Joy Dolo]

I think so.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

I don't know.

[Joy Dolo]

I feel like I need to do some push ups or something.

[Molly Bloom]

Your sneak attack is superfan. Imagine your side has a sports team and you are their number one fan. We want you to make up a team chant that's four lines long about why your side is the best. Got it? Okay.

[Joy Dolo]

Got it.

[Molly Bloom]

All right. We will give you a few minutes to write. Cue the hold music please.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

Sweet or sticky?

[Christian]

Black or white.

[Joy Dolo]

Starchy staple A delight. Rip.

[Molly Bloom]

Rice. Rice. Yum.

[Joy Dolo]

I like rice with beans.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

Noodles come both thick and thin. Slurp, slurp.

[Joy Dolo]

Mmm. Gobble and grin. Butter Pesto.

[Molly Bloom]

Alfredo.

[Joy Dolo]

Parmesan.

[Molly Bloom]

Okay, we are ready for some chance. Joy, you're up first. Let's hear your cheer for team. Right.

[Joy Dolo]

Okay, I'm gonna need some help from the audience. So when I say rice you gotta say rice. So if I for example, I'll go. Rice.

[Molly Bloom]

Rice.

[Joy Dolo]

There it is. Try one time. Rice.

[Molly Bloom]

Rice.

[Joy Dolo]

I need to hear everybody.

[Molly Bloom]

You guys.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

I'm not gonna say it.

[Joy Dolo]

That's okay. Me and Molly will do it.

[Molly Bloom]

It'll be good.

[Joy Dolo]

It'll be great. It'll be fun. But also the people at home. Okay. Rice Rice is so nice. Rice, rice, eat it more than thrice. Rice, rice, they will suffice. Rice, rice, rice is better than noodles. Backflip, backflip, backflip. Confetti, fireworks, water, war. There's no more words. You didn't say anything about added vocal sound effects.

[Molly Bloom]

Oh, my gosh.

[Joy Dolo]

I. Wow.

[Molly Bloom]

I am speechless. Well, that would make me a fan of team Rice for sure. But let's hear what team noodle has. Megan, let's hear your noodle rallying cry.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

All right, I think I'm gonna. I think I'm gonna add a little pounding into mine.

[Molly Bloom]

Excellent. All right, all right.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

I believe that we are long. I believe that we are round. I believe that we can be really any shape you can imagine, including some very silly and very cool ones. Noodles, Noodles.

[Molly Bloom]

Oh, man, I like that. It's based on belief.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

Noodles come from the power of my mind.

[Molly Bloom]

If you believe in noodles, clap. Okay, Christian. Oh, it's gonna be a tough decision. I know it's hard to choose, but you have to award a point for just one of them.

[Christian]

Okay.

[Molly Bloom]

Have you decided, Christian?

[Christian]

Yes.

[Molly Bloom]

Wonderful. Now it's time for our last round.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

The final six.

[Molly Bloom]

Megan, you're up. Convince us that noodles are the coolest in just six words. All right.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

Slurpable rainbow of delicious dough art.

[Molly Bloom]

Ooh, ooh. Very nicely done. Okay, Joy, let's hear your final six on rice.

[Joy Dolo]

Noodles are fine. Rice is better. That's straight from Wikipedia, you guys.

[Molly Bloom]

You went in and edited the Wikipedia article. Well, team Rice and team Noodles both did an amazing job. But it's time to award the final point and pick a winner. Christian, have you decided your final point? Yes. All right, tally up the score. Drum roll, please. And the winner is.

[Christian]

I feel like it's a tie.

[Molly Bloom]

Oh. Joy and Megan are very evenly matched. So it all comes down to this.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

Sudden death.

[Molly Bloom]

Your sudden death challenge is abracadabra. Imagine that your side, either a noodle or a grain of rice, is a famous magician. What kind of magic tricks would they perform? Do they have a stage name? Maybe an assistant will give you a minute to do some brainstorming and for.

[Christian]

You to use your noodle.

[Molly Bloom]

Christian. Okay, time to hear your abracadabra magic axe. So Megan went first for the last round. So, Joy, you're up.

[Joy Dolo]

This fall, come experience rice angel magnificence all the way from the heart of China. To soak up your attention in this show, we will drop one single grain of rice into the ocean and watch the water disappear. See the death defying rice Enter into boiling water and come out even more flavorful. Watch the beautiful Mrs. Porkchop lay out a rice pollini magnificence and watch the deliciousness this fall. Absorb the experience. Oh, man.

[Molly Bloom]

All right, Megan, you're up. Let's hear about your magic act.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

Okay, let's hear it for the amazing Stretch and her handsome, saucy sidekick, Meatball. Performing amazing feats of expertly turning lumps of boring rice or other dough into so many wonderful and delicious, exciting shapes and flavors. Slinging her stretchy body around the room in endless stretchy loops that will make your hunger disappear.

[Molly Bloom]

Excellent. Nicely done. Oh. Both magic shows sound captivating, but, Christian, you have to pick one to award a point to.

[Christian]

Okay?

[Joy Dolo]

I am drenched in sweat right now, Christian. I think I just ran a marathon. These debates take it out of here.

[Molly Bloom]

All right, Christian, the judging criteria is up to you. Which magic show would you like to see? Who made you laugh more? What was more captivating, creative? Who has gotten your final point?

[Christian]

I'm going with rice.

[Joy Dolo]

I'm not loving it. I'm just very excited. Well, Christian, I think you chose right. But, you know, if I can just make a small statement, you know, it's not really about winning. You know, it's really about the journey. And as I said before, thank you. No, hold your applause. As I said before, noodles are delicious. I like it. They're all right. But the greatest of all time, baby. Come on. It's got to be rice. All right, is anybody hungry?

[Molly Bloom]

I am. Good. So, Christian.

[Christian]

Yes?

[Molly Bloom]

What about Joy's magic act? Put it over the top for you.

[Christian]

Like the part where she was talking about the. Where watch the rice, do the death defying trick, put it in boiling water, and watch it come out more tasteful.

[Molly Bloom]

You like those high stakes magic acts? Yeah, I like it.

[Joy Dolo]

You know, Megan, like I said, you know, noodles are delicious. They're good. You know, I actually have pho regularly. I really enjoy that. And I think you have a very nice speaking voice as well.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

I've had a really rice time. It's just been really nice just being able to just revel in the carbs with you.

[Molly Bloom]

Well, Christian thinks Rice won, but listeners, how about you head to our website, smashboom.org and vote?

[Christian]

I'm pretty sure I'm right, but we'd love to know what you think.

[Molly Bloom]

And that's it for this debate battle. Smashboomfest is a creation of the people at Brainzon and American public Media.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

It's produced by Mark Sanchez, Sandon Totten, Montana. Molly Bloom, Elissa Dudley and Rosie Dupont.

[Joy Dolo]

We had engineering help from Johnny, Vince Evans and Jay Sebold.

[Megan McCarty Carino]

And we had production help from Maneka Wilhelm, Christina Lopez and Lauren D. We.

[Molly Bloom]

Want to give a special thanks to Justin Koo, Austin Cross, Taylor Kaufman, Josh Holt, Lindsay Davis, Chip Walton, Melanie Renee, Tracy Mumford, Eric Ringham, Taka Zen, Brandon Santos, Chrissy Pease, and John Miller. Joy, is there anyone you want to thank today?

[Joy Dolo]

I really want to thank my mom for, you know, bringing me into the world and making all that rice and showing me the way of the cassava.

[Molly Bloom]

Leaves and Liberia, pulling out the big guns. Bringing your mom in?

[Joy Dolo]

Oh, yeah. She'll be in the next week.

[Molly Bloom]

And what about you, Megan? Anyone you want to thank today?

[Megan McCarty Carino]

I would like to thank my husband, who with his undying love of rice has galvanized me for noodles forever.

[Molly Bloom]

And how about you, Christian? Do you have any special shout outs.

[Christian]

Today to my family for bringing me here and having this much fun?

[Molly Bloom]

Excellent. And before we go, let's call up Zeke. He's the listener who suggested the fire versus ice debate. I think ice would win because ice in its melted form is water, which can extinguish fire. Excellent. Excellent point, Zeke. But, listeners, do you have an idea for an epic Showdown? Head to smashboom.org and tell us all about it. That's it for this episode of smashboom. Best. We'll be back soon with another debate battle. Ta ta.

[Joy Dolo]

It's been rice. Who is that?

[Molly Bloom]

Who did that?