Slides vs. Swings: a playground debate

Summary

Smash Boom Best: Slides vs. Swings – A Playground Debate

Episode Release Date: November 21, 2024

Introduction

In this engaging episode of Smash Boom Best, host Molly Bloom presents a lively debate between two playground favorites: Slides and Swings. Representing slides is comedian Tim Platt, while comedian, actor, and writer Faria Khan champions swings. The debate is judged by Henry, a spirited member of his school’s debate team from Columbus, Ohio. The episode is structured into four main segments: Declaration of Greatness, Micro Round, Sneak Attack, and the Final Six.

Declaration of Greatness

00:43 – 08:35

The debate kicks off with each debater presenting a compelling case for their side:

• Tim Platt reminisces about his childhood slides, describing them as "the biggest metal slide" and emphasizing the exhilarating feeling of sliding down swiftly after the arduous climb. He argues that slides offer variety, from plastic to towering wooden structures like the 60-foot slide at Philadelphia's Smith Playhouse, and highlights their role in teaching patience, sharing, and goal-setting. Notably, Tim states, “Slides make you feel like you’re really doing something. Swings are so repetitive. Back and forth and back and forth until it’s time to go inside. Boring.”

• Faria Khan counters by celebrating the rich history and social benefits of swings. She points out that swings have been part of various cultures for thousands of years, used in festivals, art displays, and even ancient ceremonies. Faria emphasizes the social aspect, noting that swings allow multiple children to play simultaneously, fostering teamwork and friendship. She asserts, “On a swing, you can be by yourself or side by side with your friends. Most swing sets have multiple seats, so you can fly with your fellows, soar with your schoolmates, ascend with your associates.”

Rebuttals

09:22 – 17:33

The debaters respond to each other's arguments:

• Faria’s Rebuttal: She challenges slides by pointing out their limitations, such as only allowing one child at a time and the potential for safety issues on large slides. Faria remarks, “Swings can swing up and out of this day into another dimension. And simply being in motion can make your mind feel different.”

• Tim’s Response: Tim acknowledges the points but defends slides by highlighting their universality and the structured experience they provide. He humorously suggests that swings can lead to prolonged use, whereas slides offer a clear start and end. “Swings are so repetitive. Back and forth and back and forth until it’s time to go inside. Boring.”

State of Debate Segment

18:46 – 20:40

During a brief interlude, the State of Debate segment spots a logical fallacy in a whimsical Renaissance fair setting. The segment features Porky the Litter Eater explaining the Personal Incredulity Fallacy using the example of blue cabbage, which is actually red cabbage that turns blue when heated. Molly humorously dismisses the explanation as magic, while Porky clarifies the scientific basis, reinforcing the importance of questioning and understanding rather than dismissing.

Micro Round: Pundamonium

22:33 – 26:35

In the Micro Round, debaters craft creative puns related to their sides:

• Faria Khan delivers puns like, “Sometimes you’re trying to swing higher than the kid next to you, but you can’t do it. That’s what we call a swing and a miss.”

• Tim Platt responds with puns such as, “I can totally see myself getting married someday, but instead of kissing the bride, I’d prefer to kiss the slide.”

Henry appreciates the puns for their humor and narrative quality, noting, “I liked that they weren’t just simple puns, they were very exaggerated and story-like puns.”

Sneak Attack: Dingle Hopper

27:25 – 34:08

In the Sneak Attack round, debaters propose alternative uses for slides and swings:

• Tim Platt suggests using slides for exercise, stating, “If you’re climbing up the slide from the opposite direction, you’re gonna give yourself a workout the likes of which have never been seen.”

• Faria Khan imagines swings as a means of rapid delivery: “Let’s say you have to deliver a package to a bird, and you needed to do it yesterday. You’re pumping your legs on this swing. Bam, you’re there.”

Henry again commends both for their creativity, ultimately awarding a point based on which alternative use was more compelling.

Final Round: Final Six

32:33 – 34:01

The final segment challenges debaters to summarize their arguments in six words:

• Faria Khan: “Swing to the stars. And enjoy.”
• Tim Platt: “Climb up, slide down. You’re perfect.”

Henry decides the winner based on the impact of these concise summaries, awarding the final point to Swings. The deciding factor was Faria’s poignant six-word summary, "Swing to the stars. And enjoy," which resonated more effectively with Henry.

Conclusion

In a close and spirited debate, Swings triumph over Slides with a final score of 4-3. Both debaters display strong argumentation skills, creativity, and mutual respect. The episode concludes with heartfelt acknowledgments and shout-outs from Henry to his family and debate coach, emphasizing the supportive community that underpins such friendly competitions.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Tim Platt [04:04]: “Slides are so repetitive. Back and forth and back and forth until it’s time to go inside. Boring.”
• Faria Khan [07:04]: “Swings have been part of art displays, cultural ceremonies, and celebrations.”
• Henry [16:03]: “I really liked all the social stuff in the swing set in my backyard.”
• Faria Khan [28:11]: “Swing to the stars. And enjoy.”
• Molly Bloom [25:27]: “It was as close as close can be.”

Final Thoughts

This episode of Smash Boom Best not only entertains with humor and creativity but also imparts valuable lessons on debating, logical reasoning, and the importance of respecting differing opinions. Whether you're a child, a parent, or someone young at heart, the Slides vs. Swings debate offers both amusement and insight, making it a perfect listen for families and debate enthusiasts alike.

Transcript

[Tim Platt]

From the brains behind Brains on, it's.

[Henry]

Smash Boom Best, the show for people with big opinions.

[Molly Bloom]

Hi, I'm Molly Bloom, and this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. Today's debate is a beastly battle between two playground legends. It's slides versus swings. In one corner, we've got comedian Tim Platt ready to sizzle for team slides.

[Tim Platt]

Yeah, I'm gonna slide into because I mean to win this competition.

[Molly Bloom]

And in the other, comedian, actor, and writer Faria Khan is here to soar for team swings.

[Faria Khan]

Hey, gang. Let's swing our way to the stars today. I love magic.

[Molly Bloom]

And here to judge it all is Henry from Columbus, Ohio. Henry is on his school's debate team, has a hamster named Pop Rocks, and once got to miss school for a whole week for a show he was in. So, Henry, what made you want to start debating Smash from Best? Wow. I'm really honored that we inspired you to start debating. I want to know about Pop Rocks.

[Henry]

Okay.

[Molly Bloom]

Does Pop Rocks have a sizzling personality?

[Henry]

Well, she certainly does. She is always around, and whenever she's in her ball, she always just wanders. I mean, one time she even got out of the cage and was around the house for, like, two days.

[Tim Platt]

Two days.

[Molly Bloom]

Oh, my gosh.

[Henry]

We caught her, though. She's back. She's back in her cage.

[Molly Bloom]

She's back in her cage. Ahrox wanted to explore. So have you been on both swings and slides in your life?

[Henry]

I most certainly have.

[Molly Bloom]

Do you have any, like, favorite swing or slide experiences you'd like to share?

[Henry]

Well, my dad built a swing set in our backyard, so obviously that always has been a fun thing to do. Just when I. When I have free time, I go outside, listen to music and swing. But I love slides. They're just awesome for all occasions, especially in water slides, which I'm hoping those count.

[Molly Bloom]

Oh, absolutely.

[Tim Platt]

Yeah.

[Molly Bloom]

So you're an experienced debater now, and you've been listening to Smashing Best for a long time. Do you have any advice for our debaters today?

[Henry]

Well, I just wanted to say from my debate coach, no absolutes. And also, you always want to keep a nice, happy tone. You never want to make it sound really bad.

[Faria Khan]

Okay.

[Molly Bloom]

We don't want to go negative. Yes.

[Henry]

Never negative.

[Molly Bloom]

And the absolutes. Can you just describe a little bit more about why absolutes are a bad idea?

[Henry]

Yes. So absolutes, they can be rebutted very easily in a regular debate if you use an absolute. And the other team has a way to negate that. You are in a lot of trouble.

[Molly Bloom]

So if you're like, that's never happened. And then your opponent's like, actually it happened a couple times, you've dug yourself.

[Henry]

Into a very, very deep hole.

[Molly Bloom]

That is great advice. Well, will Henry side with Tim or Faria? Only time will tell. But first, here are the rules of the game. Every debate consists of four. The declaration of greatness, the micro round, the sneak attack, and the final. After each round, our judge Henry will award points to the team that impresses him the most. But he'll keep his decisions top secret until the end of the debate. Listeners, we want you to judge too. Mark down your points as you listen. At the end of the show, head to our website, smashboom.org and vote for whichever team you think won. Alright, Tim, Faria and Henry, are you ready?

[Tim Platt]

Yeah, I'm ready.

[Faria Khan]

Ready to go?

[Henry]

I'm ready.

[Molly Bloom]

Then it's time for the declaration of greatness. In this round, our debaters will present a well crafted immersive argument in favor of their side. Then they'll each have 30 seconds to rebut their opponent's statements. We flipped a coin and Tim, you're up first. Tell us what makes slides so spectacular.

[Tim Platt]

Growing up, I was always a slide kid. I remember this park I went to and it had everything. There was a miniature train, a spinning set of monkey bars. It even had a talking pig shaped trash can called Porky the Litter Eater.

[Porky the Litter Eater]

Hi kids.

[Tim Platt]

I'm Porky the litter Eater and I sure like to eat. And in the center of it all, like a big shiny beacon, was the biggest metal slide I'd ever seen. I remember the first time my parents let me go down it. Wow. That's the biggest metal slide I've ever seen. Mom, mom, can I go?

[Molly Bloom]

I think you're ready, Tim. Go for it. Yahoo.

[Tim Platt]

This is the best day of my life.

[Henry]

They grow up so fast.

[Tim Platt]

When I finally went down that huge slide, it was like a rite of passage. For the first time, I felt like a big kid. Climbing those stairs up to the top was like my Mount Everest. After taking so long to climb, I flew to the bottom so fast I couldn't wait to climb up and do it all over again. But over in the corner of the park, well, that's where the swings were. I had this friend, let's call her Furry Shmariha. She was a swings kid. I'd be sliding down the slide, having the time of my life, and then Shmaria would just be swinging Swinging. Swinging back and fourth all day. Slides, on the other hand, make you feel like you're really doing something. Swings are so repetitive. Back and forth and back and forth until it's time to go inside. Boring. With slides, there's anticipation. You climb up and stand at the top and the wind in your hair. The excitement builds. And when you slide, slide down. It's a real payoff.

[Porky the Litter Eater]

Yahoo.

[Molly Bloom]

This is the best day of my life.

[Tim Platt]

And once your feet hit the bottom, you can just go and do something else. On the playground, slides are like a perfect course in the feast of fun that is recess. Welcome to Chez Recess. Tonight's specials are an amuse bouche of the monkey bars, a side salad of the delicious cedar plank seesaw. So good. And to pair with that, might I recommend a main course consisting of a full body trip down the slide? Yes, please. Speaking of variety, slides come in all shapes and sizes. From tiny plastic playground slides to big metal ones to huge towering slides like the famous 60 foot long wooden slide at Philadelphia's Smith Playhouse. That was one of the first slides ever built on the playground in 1904.

[Faria Khan]

Step right up, folks.

[Molly Bloom]

Experience the talk of the playground world.

[Faria Khan]

The slide.

[Molly Bloom]

Who needs swings with all that pesky leg?

[Faria Khan]

Puppet. A slide doesn't work for you. Just walk on up and slide on down.

[Molly Bloom]

You there, man with a scowl. What do you say?

[Faria Khan]

Care for a slide?

[Tim Platt]

Today only, you kids and your newfangled technologies. Mark my words, slides will never catch on. Next you'll probably say those new cars are going to replace my horse and buggy. And we haven't even talked about the real ace in the hole. Two words. Water slides. Try the Rise of Icarus water slide in Wisconsin. It is the biggest water slide in the United states, standing almost 150ft tall. Or try the reef plunge slide in Florida, where riders zoom in clear tubes with a huge tank filled with dolphins and tropical fish. And slides aren't just exciting. They bring people together. They teach us how to share and take turns, which helps us learn how to become a better person. And they teach us about working hard to reach a goal. The pure joy of getting at the bottom of the slide is always worth the effort of climbing up that ladder of stairs. Whether you're playing in a big group or just by yourself, there's just no substitute for a slide. It's the pinnacle of the people's playground.

[Molly Bloom]

Wow, that argument for slides was quite the ride. Henry, what stood out to you about Tim's argument?

[Henry]

Well, I love the part where he talked about Slides possibly being a main course of the park. As a person who adores food, I can tell you that that was a very compelling and delicious argument.

[Tim Platt]

Okay, my compliments to the chef. And in this case, I mean you.

[Molly Bloom]

Speaking of food, I'm also stuck on that pig trash can that east garbage. But we'll talk about that later.

[Tim Platt]

We'll talk about that later.

[Molly Bloom]

Faria, it's time for your rebuttal. Tell us why slides should hide. You've got 30 seconds and your time starts now.

[Faria Khan]

Sure, Tim, slides are fun, but you can only go one at a time. Okay? And that big metal slide you were talking about from the playground you went to, now that slide on a hot summer's day, it's gonna burn your buns right off, okay? The skin is lost in the process. Yet with a swing, you can swing up and out of this day into another dimension. And simply being in motion can make your mind feel different.

[Tim Platt]

Oh, yeah. I got a few things to say about this. One at a time. Yeah, well, at least one at a time, we know exactly the length of time that someone's gonna be on the slide. If someone's on the swing, they can take as long as they want. Going that back and forth, you could be in one person, take half an hour. Lost skin. Yeah, that could be a problem. I love it. That can be a problem. I love it. That can be a problem. And I appreciate you bringing it up. You know what's a little fun with that? Little pain? Okay, we can agree with that. Another dimension. You want to go to another dimension? I like to stay in the here and now. I like to stay on this planet, on this Earth. And as I stay on this planet, I want to see the highest points and the lowest, which this slide gives you ample opportunity to see.

[Faria Khan]

Whoa.

[Molly Bloom]

All right, Faria, it is your turn now. Please tell us why swings are king.

[Porky the Litter Eater]

Hey there. You just stumbled on the 2024 Swing Family reunion. Lucky you. We've got swings from all over gathering to spend time with family. Over here we've got tire swing from Texas sipping some sweet tea.

[Molly Bloom]

Howdy.

[Porky the Litter Eater]

Over there is old Man Porch swing.

[Tim Platt]

I used to be FDR's porch swing.

[Faria Khan]

Now those were the days.

[Porky the Litter Eater]

And of course, there's little playground swing having a high flying time.

[Henry]

Look at me. Look at me. Mom.

[Tim Platt]

Mom.

[Henry]

Mom. Mom.

[Porky the Litter Eater]

And me. I'm just a humble hammock swing. It means the world to me that my family has come together to celebrate the love that is swings.

[Faria Khan]

Wow. Swings really come in an impressive variety of shapes and sizes. And this playground favorite has been delighting people for thousands of of years. Swings have been around for so long that it's hard to say who invented them. They've appeared all over the globe at different times. The ancient Greeks used them, the ancient Egyptians used them, and they were huge in the 80s, so ancient Americans used them too. Just ask your parents straight up if you were cool. Back in the day, you were probably riding a swing. And they weren't just fun rides. Swings were part of art displays, cultural ceremonies and celebrations. In ancient China, swings were used in festivals and acrobatic displays, just like today.

[Tim Platt]

Look at that strong, elegant woman flying through the air back and forth. How is she doing that? Is she a wizard, a God, an angel come to earth?

[Molly Bloom]

It's just a little girl riding a swing. We really need to get you some glasses.

[Tim Platt]

She's magnificent.

[Faria Khan]

People all over the world love swings, and they use them in different ways. Some are just great to look at, like the giant swings in Thailand, which were once used to reenact the Hindu creation of the Earth, but are now just a cool tourist attraction.

[Tim Platt]

Look at that gorgeous swing.

[Molly Bloom]

I'd ask to swing on it, but like I said, it's just too gorgeous.

[Faria Khan]

Others are used for sports, like in Estonia, where they have a swing game called kiking. In this game, a person is fastened to a swing and has to swing all the way over the top to win.

[Molly Bloom]

Welcome back to the Sports Zone.

[Tim Platt]

We've got top king athlete Amber Flipp.

[Molly Bloom]

Here to tell us how she won today's match. Well, first I went up and then I went down. Then I went up, and then I went down. Then I went up.

[Tim Platt]

Let me guess.

[Molly Bloom]

Then you went down again. What? No, I kept going up and went over the swing because I am a champion.

[Tim Platt]

Incredible.

[Molly Bloom]

Coming up next, we have a report on today's international slide competition, where everyone came in last.

[Faria Khan]

Now, the swing you're probably most familiar with is the good old playground swing. And it's a good thing we have them, because kids get so much out of swinging. It teaches them about rhythm and full body coordination, strengthens the core, helps build motor skills, and most importantly, teaches you how to play with your friends. On a slide, you're by yourself, hurtling to the ground like a spitball through a straw. But on a swing, you can be by yourself or side by side with your friends. Most swing sets have multiple seats, so you can fly with your fellows, soar with your schoolmates, ascend with your associates. What a delight. As a kid, I used to swing with my Friends all the time. We'd have epic swinging competitions to see how high we could fly. We would have had slide competitions, but unfortunately a slide only caters to one person at a time. Truly isolating ride if you ask me. Whether it's a crowd looking for a show or friends looking for some fun. Swings are the treat that comes with a se.

[Tim Platt]

Oh.

[Molly Bloom]

That went back and forth and back and forth and it felt so very good. Excellent work, Henry. What stood out to you about Faria's declaration of greatness?

[Henry]

Well, I really liked all the social stuff in the swing set in my backyard. Me and my brother would always swing together. We would sing songs and see who could swing the highest. And yeah, we'd do that with my friends as well on the school playground. So yeah, I really relate to that.

[Molly Bloom]

Excellent. Well, Tim, it is time for your rebuttal. Tell us why swings stink. You've got 30 seconds and your time starts now.

[Tim Platt]

Faria begins by saying swings are old. Uh, cool. I guess so. They belong in museums and everywhere else except the backyard. Yeah, we talk about all these different cool swings. You could do that. You have to be an Olympic athlete to use. Well, like swinging all the way around. A slide is for everybody. I don't need to strengthen my core to use a slide. And in terms of this community thing. Yeah, the community you get by waiting in line for someone who's taking half an hour to use their swing and won't get off.

[Henry]

Yeah.

[Tim Platt]

This is a community that is based on the person who's in control of the swing at the time while the slide is equipped for everybody.

[Faria Khan]

I'm just a bit. I'm a bit blown away, honestly. And I disagree with the way you described the swings. The swings is for community. It's not an isolated experience the way the side is. And I just disagree with that.

[Tim Platt]

I guess if I can, may I just say real quick that shirts for a community, it's a community that are chosen by the most powerful. That is the person. People who are in the swing of azant. That's true. So a little community, but it's more part of the privileged.

[Faria Khan]

I'm talking about it from a New York City perspective. There's many places all over the country where there are many swings for every man and child and woman and non binary person as well.

[Molly Bloom]

Okay, Henry, you've heard a lot. It's a heated debate. So far it's excellent. There's a lot to think about. But it is time to award some points. Please give one point to the declaration of greatness that you liked best. And one point to the rebuttal that won you over. You get to decide what makes a winning argument. Did one team's jokes make you giggle? Was another team's logic impeccable? Award your points, but don't tell us who they're going to. Have you made your decision?

[Henry]

Yes, I have.

[Molly Bloom]

Ooh, excellent. Faria and Tim, how are you two feeling so far?

[Tim Platt]

Just want to say, you know, in the spirit of competition, you know, things get intense, then we get passionate about our side. But I respect my competitor.

[Faria Khan]

Yes. You know, I respect you too, Tim. You're a friend of mine. I don't want to take you down too hard.

[Tim Platt]

I accept that playful jab. And I will say, I will say also that I actually am a big surprise of core strength. And so I was very interested. You bring it up. And the older I get, the more I realize that the value of core strength helps the whole body.

[Molly Bloom]

Well, it is time for a quick break. Climb up the stairs and get your legs pumping.

[Henry]

And we'll be right back with more smash.

[Tim Platt]

Boom.

[Henry]

Best.

[Molly Bloom]

You're listening to State of Debate. Home to raging rhetoric and awe inspiring argumentation.

[Porky the Litter Eater]

Good morrow, debaters of state.

[Molly Bloom]

Tis I, Todd Douglas, and I, Taylor Lincoln. And we're speaking all Shakespearean because we're at the Renaissance fair.

[Porky the Litter Eater]

I can finally wear my elf ears. Not to mention our super snazzy matching fairy wings.

[Molly Bloom]

The green really brings out your eyes, Todd. So far it's been a blast. Except we just spotted a logical fallacy.

[Porky the Litter Eater]

Logical fallacies make arguments easy to defeat. And we just saw one yonder at Ye olde Cabbage Stand. Check it out.

[Molly Bloom]

Ooh, that cabbage looks divine. I've never seen blue cabbage before. Only red or green is blue cabbage. A Ye olde Cabbage Stand special.

[Porky the Litter Eater]

Good observation. I know this cabbage looks blue, but it's actually red cabbage.

[Molly Bloom]

What the white?

[Porky the Litter Eater]

Well, red foods like cabbage get their color from acids. So when we heat it up in a pan or boil it in water, the acid cooks off the cabbage and it turns blue.

[Molly Bloom]

I don't believe it.

[Porky the Litter Eater]

It's science. And look, you can add the red color back to the cabbage by adding more acid, like some of this vinegar. See?

[Molly Bloom]

It's turning red again.

[Porky the Litter Eater]

Pretty cool, huh, Gizmo?

[Molly Bloom]

I simply can't believe that cabbage does this naturally. Therefore, it must be magic. Magic, I say.

[Porky the Litter Eater]

It's simply science. No tomfoolery here. We just spotted the personal incredulity fallacy. That's when someone says something isn't true just because they find it difficult to understand.

[Molly Bloom]

Just because you don't understand how something works, that doesn't mean you can dismiss it entirely.

[Tim Platt]

Right?

[Porky the Litter Eater]

That's why it's important to ask questions like, how does that work? Or can you give me another example? Or, hey, Taylor, want to split a giant turkey leg?

[Molly Bloom]

No.

[Porky the Litter Eater]

We'll catch you next time on State of Debate.

[Molly Bloom]

Brains On Universe is a family of podcasts for kids and their adults. Since you're a fan of smashboom Best, we know you'll love the other shows in our universe. Come on, let's explore Smash Dome Best. I'm their biggest fan. I also love Brains On, a fun science podcast for kids. Listen, I will play you Brains On. You will love. Today, we're going to turn our attention to bloodsuckers that do exist.

[Faria Khan]

Some of them you've probably heard of.

[Henry]

Like mosquitoes, ticks, and lice.

[Molly Bloom]

But others might surprise you, like, did you know that some birds drink blood? Zorp. Where did the signal go? Must find Brains On.

[Tim Platt]

Now.

[Molly Bloom]

Listen to Brains On Wherever you get your podcasts. Smash Smashed. You're listening to Smash. Welcome back to Spoon Best. I'm your host, Molly Bloom.

[Henry]

And I'm your judge, Henry.

[Molly Bloom]

And we love getting debate suggestions from our listeners. Take a listen to this wild debate idea from Jack.

[Henry]

Hi, my name is Jack, and I am wondering if we can do moose versus pheasant, a perfectly pheasant idea.

[Molly Bloom]

We'll check back in at the end of this episode to see which side Jack thinks should win.

[Henry]

And now it's back to our debate. Slides versus swings.

[Molly Bloom]

That's right. And it's time for round two, the micro round. For the micro round challenge, each team has prepared a creative response to a prompt they received in advance. For Tim and Faria, the prompt was pundamonium, where each debater had to come up with three puns for their side. Tim went first last time. So, Faria, you're up first. Let's hear your first pun for team swings.

[Faria Khan]

Sometimes you're trying to swing higher than the kid next to you, but you can't do it. That's what we call a swing and a miss. Cheers.

[Molly Bloom]

Okay, Tim, now it's your turn. Let's hear your first pun for team slides.

[Tim Platt]

I can totally see myself getting married someday, but instead of kissing the bride, I'd prefer, and you're not gonna believe this, to kiss the slide. Because I want to be married to a fun time at the.

[Molly Bloom]

Wow Check next to that.

[Faria Khan]

Wait till your wife hears that.

[Molly Bloom]

She'd respect it all Right, Faria, let's hear your second pun.

[Faria Khan]

When I'm feeling down, I like to have a nice swing session because it helps me feel uplifted.

[Molly Bloom]

Oh, man. Excellent work. All right, Tim, now it's your turn for your second pun.

[Tim Platt]

My friend recently lied to me. I didn't appreciate it. Then I had another friend slide with me. And you're not gonna believe this. I didn't appreciate it.

[Porky the Litter Eater]

Wait your turn.

[Tim Platt]

I slide alone.

[Faria Khan]

Ah, the individualist pursuit comes back for more.

[Tim Platt]

I guess I believe in rugged individualism. Yeah, you're a real capitalist with restraints.

[Faria Khan]

Just like my dad.

[Molly Bloom]

All right, Faria, let's hear your final pun for team swings.

[Faria Khan]

Okay, okay, look, I'm an introvert, but sometimes I like to pop by my friend's house for a few hours, then go back to exploring my own world. I just swing on by, we eat snacks, I play with their super cute cat, Fluffy, and then sometimes we go for a walk together. Little doses of happiness with your friends is fun when you can swing it.

[Tim Platt]

Double bun.

[Faria Khan]

Mike.

[Tim Platt]

That'S a double pun. So. Okay.

[Faria Khan]

So sorry bout it, brother.

[Molly Bloom]

Okay, okay, Tim, it's your last chance to give us a pun for team slides.

[Tim Platt]

In ancient Rome, the 15th of March was known as the Ides of March. For me, and you're not gonna believe this. The 15th slide of March is known as March 1st. I go down 15 slides a day. You see?

[Molly Bloom]

Oh my goodness. Oh, excellent work. Or should I say punderful work, both of you. Henry, what did you like about Tim and Faria's micro rounds?

[Henry]

Well, I thought that they were very funny in their own special way.

[Faria Khan]

And thank you, Henry.

[Tim Platt]

Thank you, Henry.

[Henry]

I liked they weren't just like simple puns, they were very exaggerated and story like puns.

[Molly Bloom]

Yes, they had narrative. It was very impressive.

[Henry]

And for Tim, you said something about the Ides of March and.

[Tim Platt]

Yes.

[Henry]

Don't disrespect my birthday again.

[Molly Bloom]

Oh, your birthday.

[Henry]

Wow.

[Molly Bloom]

Oh my gosh.

[Tim Platt]

Well, I didn't know. I didn't know. I mean, of course, no disrespected dollars. In fact, much respect. The 15th, it has a special name. If you think about it, it's actually respect to your birthday. So get some water, please.

[Henry]

Don't worry, I'm just kidding. I'm just kidding.

[Molly Bloom]

Oh, man. All right, Henry, this is going to be a hard decision, but it's time to award a point. Have you made your decision?

[Henry]

I think that I have.

[Molly Bloom]

Fantastic. Then it's time for our third the super stealthy sneak attack. This is our improvised Round, where debaters have to respond to a challenge on the spot. Today's sneak attack is called Dingle Hopper. Your challenge is to list three uses for your side other than what they're really used for. For example, if your side is marshmallows, you could be like. Marshmallows make the most amazing beds ever. You've never laid on anything so plush. You'll volley back and forth, and we'll start with Tim. Debaters, does this make sense?

[Tim Platt]

Yes.

[Faria Khan]

Yes.

[Molly Bloom]

All right, Tim, let's hear your first alternative use for slides.

[Tim Platt]

A lesson in friction. Have you ever climbed up the slide? Part of the slide? That's gonna teach you not only a whole lot about friction and surfaces and surface tension, but also climbing up the front of the slide. You are working muscles that you have never known in your weird arm muscles, weird leg muscles, and actually, now that I think about it, probably your core too. So if you're going up the slide from the opposite direction, not only are you gonna learn about the physics of this world, but also you're gonna give yourself a workout the likes of which have never been seen. Wow.

[Molly Bloom]

A workout for your brain and your body. Fariya, it's your turn. What else can swings be used for?

[Faria Khan]

Let's say you have to deliver a package to a bird, and you needed. You needed to do it yesterday. You're pumping your legs on this swing. Bam, you're there. Tell the bird to meet you there, 3 o'clock, top of the spot, and you hand them the package. Bing, bang, boom, done. Package received by bird.

[Molly Bloom]

Oh, so good. All right, Tim, it is your turn. What's your next alternative use for slides?

[Tim Platt]

Let's say you have to deliver a message to a ground hall, and they're straight down the ground. How are you gonna get them out? You don't have a drill. Wait a minute. Do you have a heavy rock and a slide? Push that rock down the slide again and again and again. And eventually, you will dig through the pressure of the rock, down the slide into the ground. You will dig a hole deep into the center of the earth where the groundhog is waiting patiently for their message.

[Molly Bloom]

Okay, Practical. All right, Faria, it's your turn. What's your next alternative use for swings?

[Faria Khan]

Well, we mentioned that swinging can be a bit of a meditative activity. Let's say you're on the swing, you're clearing your head all of a sudden. Next thing you know, you're connecting to the angels around you. You're getting downloads. You're getting your most creative ideas yet. You're about to make the best comic idea play of your life. You go to the swings, it brings out your creative genius. Yeah, I'm talking touch the sky.

[Molly Bloom]

Oh, wonderful. All right, Tim, it is time for your final dinglehopper for slides.

[Tim Platt]

You know, I've been combative this whole time, but I love my friend Faria. I got so much love for people. In fact, I think this world needs more love. In fact, I think this world needs so much love that I would love it personally if we could spell the word love in big letters. You know, make a big L. That's easy. Make a big O. You can find big O's anywhere. But a big V. Where can I find a big V to spell love? Wait a minute. If I just turn this slide upside down, I suddenly have the big V in the big spelled out love. And for an E, I can invite you to engage with your own imagination. You'll find always these in there. But for the V. For the V, an upside down slide might just be the ticket. And now look at me. I'm on a plane up in the sky, and I look down and I see the word love. The world has changed for the better, thanks to slides.

[Molly Bloom]

All right, Faria, it is time for your final dinklehopper for swings.

[Faria Khan]

Thank you so much. And listen, I love my buddy Tim. He's got a mind of his own. I'll tell you the way that the things that come out of this. This guy's mind, I just say, whoa, I didn't expect that one. But here's the thing. You actually inspired me, my friend, because the E in the word love you are looking to spell could be seen by three swings. Three best friends on the three swings on the playground, swinging each at an angle that creates the perfect E to end the word love. The world is better for swings on the playground. And friendship is yet again at the center.

[Molly Bloom]

This is love. This is teamwork. This is friendship. This is beautiful. But, Henry, only one of them can receive a point. So you're gonna have to think about which side impressed you the most and award your fourth point for this sneak attack. Have you made your decision, Henry?

[Henry]

Boy, this was a hard one. But I have.

[Molly Bloom]

Wonderful. Then it's time for our final round, the final six. In this round, each team will have just six words to sum up the glory of their side. All right, Faria, let's hear your six words for the sweetness of a swing.

[Faria Khan]

Swing to the stars. And enjoy.

[Molly Bloom]

Very nice. All right, Tim, it's your turn. Tell us why slides are so sublime. Using just six words.

[Tim Platt]

Climb up, slide down. You're perfect.

[Molly Bloom]

Oh, man, these are so good.

[Tim Platt]

And that you can be anyone. That you can be Henry. That you can be the listener. You can be the slide itself. I'm open to interpretation.

[Molly Bloom]

All right, Henry, it is time to award a final point for this final six. Have you made your decision?

[Henry]

Yes, I have.

[Molly Bloom]

All right, tally up those points, my friend. Are you ready to crown one team? The Smashboom best.

[Henry]

I have tallied.

[Molly Bloom]

All right, drum roll, please. And the winner is.

[Henry]

Swings.

[Molly Bloom]

Oh, my go.

[Faria Khan]

Wow. I could not be more elated.

[Tim Platt]

Oh, well, I'm. I'm happy for you. Great job, Henry. Great job.

[Faria Khan]

Thank you, Henry.

[Tim Platt]

I really respect your take, and that's. Appreciate your time.

[Faria Khan]

Yeah, yeah. No, Tim, you did a really good.

[Tim Platt]

You did a really good job already.

[Faria Khan]

Thank you so much.

[Tim Platt]

You did such a good job. You were so crazy.

[Faria Khan]

You were really great, too.

[Henry]

Thank you.

[Faria Khan]

You made it hard. You brought a lot of strong arguments. I was sweating. I'll tell you the whole time.

[Tim Platt]

Yeah.

[Faria Khan]

Well, I am just. I'm really honored, Henry, that I won you over. Can I ask you what it was?

[Tim Platt]

Yeah, yeah. Actually. Actually, Henry, I also like to know what it was.

[Faria Khan]

What was it? Was it the magical element?

[Henry]

I will say it came down to the final six as a tiebreaker.

[Molly Bloom]

Wow.

[Tim Platt]

Oh, my gosh.

[Faria Khan]

That's crazy.

[Molly Bloom]

As close.

[Tim Platt]

We're perfect.

[Faria Khan]

Wait, wait. Well, how'd you decide? How'd you decide?

[Henry]

So, the final six. I really liked your swing to the stars and enjoy. I thought that was just awesome.

[Faria Khan]

Aw, thank you.

[Tim Platt]

Thank you.

[Henry]

I loved yours too, Tim. Don't worry.

[Molly Bloom]

But it was as close as close can be. Both had two points up to that moment.

[Henry]

Certainly was.

[Tim Platt]

I appreciate it, Henry. I appreciate it. And if I could just say I respect your choice. You have been a diligent and fair and logical judge, and I appreciate that. And even in loss. Even in loss, it is a privilege to be treated fairly in this world. And you treated us both fairly, I think.

[Henry]

Thank you.

[Faria Khan]

And you know what? I want to say the same thing. Thank you for the opportunity. Henry and Tim, you are a great competitor.

[Tim Platt]

And so are you, in fact. And people at home can't see this because they can't see anything that's happening. But we're shaking each other's hands. You can't hear it either because it doesn't make a big sound. Let me try. Maybe it makes it sound if we do this.

[Faria Khan]

Did you hear that? That's our hands being shook.

[Tim Platt]

Yeah.

[Molly Bloom]

Well, that is it for today's debate battle, Henry Crown swings the Smashboom best. But what about you?

[Henry]

Head to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who you think won.

[Molly Bloom]

Smashboom Best is brought to you by Brains on and APM Studios. It's produced by me, Molly Bloom, Anna West Wegel and Aron Woldeselassi. We had engineering help from Derek Ramirez, Gary O'Keefe and Dalton Jones, with sound design by Anna Wegel. Our editors are Shayla Farzon and Sandon Totten. And we had production help from the rest of the BrainZone Universe team. Rosie Dupont, Rachel Breese, Anna Goldfield, Nico Gonzalez Whistler, Ruby Guthrie, Lauren Humphert, Jess.

[Tim Platt]

Miller, Joshua Ray, Mark Sanchez and Charlotte Traver.

[Molly Bloom]

Our executive producers, Beth Pearlman and the APM Studios executives in charge are Chandra Kavati and Joanne Griffith. Our announcer is Marley Foyer, Worker Auto. And we want to give a special thanks to Austin Cross, Taylor Kaufman, Lulu and Andy Doucet. Tim, is there anyone you'd like to give a shout out to today?

[Tim Platt]

My kitty cat, Honeybee.

[Molly Bloom]

My dog's name is Honeybee.

[Tim Platt]

Are you kidding me?

[Henry]

No.

[Molly Bloom]

Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. All right, Freya, how about you? Any special shout outs?

[Faria Khan]

I would like to give a shout out to my special kittens at home, Ziggy and Zuzu.

[Molly Bloom]

Oh, and how about you, Henry? Any special thanks or shout outs?

[Henry]

Yeah. I would love to dedicate this whole episode to Dexter, my brother and as well as if we're talking about pets, my dog Peter, my family and my debate coach, especially Ms. Daniel.

[Faria Khan]

Shout out.

[Henry]

Ms. Daniel and the dream team. You know who you are. We won three trophies together for debate.

[Molly Bloom]

Amazing.

[Henry]

So this whole thing was because of them too.

[Molly Bloom]

Aw. And Dexter. Shout out to Dexter. Before we go, let's check in and see who Jack thinks should win the moose versus pheasant debate.

[Henry]

I think moose will win because they are larger and have better defenses and are a very interesting animal.

[Molly Bloom]

If you're between the ages of 13 and 18 and you'd like to be a judge, or if you're any age and you have an idea for a knockdown drag out debate, head to smashboom.org contact and drop us a line. And make sure to subscribe to Brains on Universe on YouTube where you can watch animated versions of some of your favorite episodes. We'll be back with a new smashboom Best debate battle next week. Blue is versus Elmo. Bye Bye.

[Faria Khan]

Peace. See you later, folks.

[Tim Platt]

Goodbye.

[Molly Bloom]

No better than the rest.

[Tim Platt]

It's Smash the West.

[Molly Bloom]

It's smash the west.

[Faria Khan]

Oh, come on, brother, give it a rest.

[Tim Platt]

Sorry, I had to.