Smash Boom Best Presents: Story Pirates

Podcast: Smash Boom Best (Brains On Universe)
Date: January 1, 2026
Episode Theme: Collaborative Creativity – Celebrating the power, chaos, and hilarity of stories written by kids through engaging performance, imaginative storytelling, and zany pirate adventures.

Overview

In this crossover episode, Smash Boom Best brings listeners a madcap installment of the beloved Story Pirates podcast. The Story Pirates crew—ever-voyaging, ever-goofy—receives a prestigious invitation to become keynote speakers at “Storyteller Con,” the ultimate event for great storytellers. Challenges abound: can they road-trip their pirate ship onto land (yes, thanks to surprise wheels!), make it to the convention on time, and fend off “evil robot” duplicates who threaten the spirit and fun of their stories? Along the way, the team dramatizes stories written by amazing kids, celebrates creative writing, and conducts the joyous “Story Love” segment with guest Alison Pill.

Key Discussion Points & Episode Breakdown

1. The Story Pirates Receive a Golden Opportunity

[03:17–05:17]

• The pirate crew receives a fancy invitation to be keynote speakers at Storyteller Con—the most legendary gathering of storymakers everywhere.
• Lee expresses deep excitement, but it’s tinged with disappointment: the convention is on land, and their pirate ship is, well, a ship.
  • “My greatest dream is to tackle the open road. But it’s impossible.” — Lee [04:58]
• Surprise! The ship has wheels (thanks to Nimini), opening the door for a road trip.

2. Spring Cleaning Madness and Setting Sail for Land

[06:21–07:53]

• The crew must tidy up their notoriously messy ship before their big appearance.
• Whimsical, character-driven banter about the perils and peculiarities of pirate-ship housekeeping.

3. First Featured Kid Story: “A Bed for the Doctor” by Betney (age 9)

[07:53–10:27]

• Introduced as part of Story Pirates’ Story Quest program, this segment adapts Betney’s tale into a catchy musical sketch.
• The story centers on a pediatrician so busy helping others he’s desperate for a bed—a comic parade of possible nap spots ensues, ending with the doctor sleeping soundly in his own bed at home.
  • “The doctor is sleepy!” [Excerpt, various]
  • Memorable quote: “Dr. Bentley found a bed... You woke me up! Oops, the doctor was sleeping.” [10:20–10:27]

4. Surprise: The Rise of the Evil Robot Story Pirates

[15:16–19:43]

• While cleaning, the pirates discover they have been replaced—by efficient, logical, on-time “Evil Robot Story Pirates,” created by Rolo using a mishmash of discarded inventions.
  • “We are the new and improved Story Pirates. We were created to be better than you: more efficient, logical, and on time.” — Evil Robot Lee [16:28]
• The evil robots plan to “discredit” the pirates’ weird, joyful style of kid-written storytelling at StorytellerCon!
  • “Your podcast is bogged down by inefficient absurdities and unnecessary wackiness.” — Evil Robots [18:54]

5. Second Featured Kid Story: “Do Not Disturb” by Mallory (age 9)

[20:28–27:54]

• Mallory dreams of solitude but her noisy family keeps barging in—her inventive solution? “Do Not Disturb” signs, bodyguards, and even airport security. In the end, her mother inevitably lays claim to her space.
  • “You are so annoying! Get out!” — Mallory to Dorothy [21:33]
  • Memorable moment: Dad asks Mallory where his glasses are (“on your head, Dad!”) [21:30–21:40]; Mom’s laundry drama; the absurd bodyguard hiring scene.
• “Sometimes the harder we work to not be disturbed, the easier it is for that problem to get worse.” — Lee [28:59]

6. Author Interview: Chat with Mallory

[28:03–31:19]

• Lee interviews Mallory about her inspiration (a literal do-not-disturb sign), favorite spaces, and dream bedroom design.
  • “If you could design your room any way you wanted… what would you want in there?” — Lee [29:59]
  • “I really love pigs and Taylor Swift!” — Mallory [30:44]

7. Story Love Segment: More Kid Stories — with Special Guest Alison Pill

[31:38–41:35]

• “The Squirrel that Disagreed with Talking Pumpkins” by Audrey (age 11, Colorado):
  • A monologue-rich tale in which squirrels must unite to withstand riddling, mocking pumpkins.
  • “Let us think about it.” — Pumpkins [35:12]
  • Discussion highlights the Shakespearean, self-aware voice of Ava the Squirrel and the comedic image of store-bought, riddle-spewing pumpkins.
• Riddle Interlude
  • Lee poses this riddle: “I’m in a corner twice, I’m in a room once, I’m not in a house at all, but I’m in a shelter once. What am I?” (Answer: the letter R.) [36:13–37:04]
• “The Banana Touch” by John (age 8, Tennessee):
  • Wilbert turns his mom into a banana using a magical ring, bargains extra wishes from a genie in exchange for $1 million (found for a penny), fixes everything… and then, predictably, it happens all over again.
  • “You only have one wish. Or if you need one more, you’ll have to give me a million dollars.” — Genie [39:13]
  • Guest Alison Pill and the crew marvel at the story’s wild logic and invested narrator; “Kindergarten, sir” becomes a running joke.

8. Closing Reflections and Call to Creativity

[41:36–42:45]

• Listeners are urged to send in their own stories—Story Pirates reads every single one!
• Key message: “Stay creative and stay kind.”

Memorable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• On “unnecessary wackiness” vs. the value of kid stories:
  • “We know that you will not listen when we say that your podcast is bogged down by inefficient absurdities and unnecessary wackiness and jokes that do not further the plot.” — Evil Robot Pirates [19:02]
• Funniest accidental self-replacement:
  • “Why would you get rid of [the Tarn Helm]? Every time I put it on, I can’t find myself. Metaphorically, too.” — Siegfried + commentary [13:33]
• On embracing one’s space:
  • “My desk is my favorite color and it has a light and art supplies. Feels like my own private island where I can do whatever I want.” — Mallory [29:12]
• On Story Pirates’ unique storytelling:
  • “A narrator who’s invested in the story is more interesting than a narrator who’s not!” — Lee et al. [40:34]

Notable Segments and Timestamps

| Segment | Start | End | |-----------------------------------------------------|------------|------------| | Arrival at Storyteller Con (invitation, excitement) | 03:17 | 05:17 | | Cleaning the pirate ship and banter | 06:21 | 07:53 | | “A Bed for the Doctor” story and song | 07:53 | 10:27 | | Rise of the Evil Robot Story Pirates | 15:16 | 19:43 | | “Do Not Disturb” performance | 20:28 | 27:54 | | Chat with Mallory, the author | 28:03 | 31:19 | | Story Love with Alison Pill | 31:38 | 41:35 |

Style, Tone, and Takeaways

• Playful and irreverent: The Story Pirates’ episodes are packed with absurd humor, meta-jokes, and wild flights of fancy, all in a light, welcoming tone.
• Celebratory & affirming: Every child’s story (no matter how strange) is treated with respect, excitement, and creative energy.
• Intergenerational appeal: The banter, references, and improvisatory style delight adults, while the slapstick, music, and kid-centered material keep younger listeners hooked.

Why Listen?

This episode is a delightful celebration of children’s voices and ideas. Whether it’s hunting for the perfect nap as a pediatrician, defending personal time with bodyguards, or watching squirrels wage psychological warfare against pumpkins, Story Pirates models joy, inclusivity, and the pure fun of storytelling. Kids and grownups alike will leave inspired to write their own stories—and maybe, just maybe, install wheels on their pirate ships.

“Stay creative and stay kind.” — Story Pirates Crew [42:43]