Swimming vs Soccer

Summary

Smash Boom Best: Swimming vs Soccer

Podcast: Smash Boom Best (Brains On Universe)
Episode Date: August 21, 2019
Host: Molly Bloom
Debaters: Anna Wegel (Swimming) & Tommy McNamara (Soccer)
Judge: Claire

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Episode Overview

This episode of Smash Boom Best brings a high-energy, family-friendly debate to the classic showdown: Swimming vs Soccer – which is the coolest? The debaters Anna Wegel (for swimming) and Tommy McNamara (for soccer) face off in a series of creative, fact-packed rounds, judged by Claire. Listeners join the debate by learning about each sport's benefits, history, and quirks—with plenty of humor and puns along the way!

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Meet the Judge & Debaters (00:44–03:12)

• Claire comes in with preference for swimming (“Probably swimming just because it’s what you do in the summer. It's fun. You can splash around…”), but is open-minded and sets the debate criteria: humor, strong arguments, and personal stories.
• Anna (Swimming): “Because it’s cooler in temperature. I’m gonna take the literal literally of your question.”
• Tommy (Soccer): “I don’t even need a sentence. All I need is one word. Go.”

2. Declaration of Greatness — Swimming (04:55–10:57)

Anna’s Arguments:

• Inspiration & Achievement: Shares the stories of young swimmer Mae Bowers and legendary long-distance swimmer Diana Nyad, highlighting triumphs, resilience, and pushing human limits.
• Health & Strength: References scientist and ex-athlete Lisa Bowers:

  “It’s a total body sport. It exercises every muscle of your body. It’s aerobic, great for your heart and lungs... not hard on any of your joints.” (09:27)

• Team & Individual Benefits: Relays function as team events, while individual races test self-improvement.
• Vital Skill: “Swimming isn’t just a sport. It’s a vital survival skill, too… Is soccer gonna save your life? No. But knowing how to swim will.”
• Memorable Quotes:
  • “I have the arms of a superhero.” (09:01)
  • Diana Nyad: “One is we should never, ever give up. Two is, you’re never too old to chase your dreams.” (08:38)
• Humor: “Soccer players aren’t even allowed to use their arms. Sick. Burn. I have the arms of a superhero.” (09:10)

Judge Claire Reacts (11:05)

• “I thought when you started making the point about awards…not everything’s about winning. But then you went on to make the point about the journey and pushing yourself, which I think is a good point...”

3. Declaration of Greatness — Soccer (12:41–18:36)

Tommy’s Arguments:

• Worldwide Appeal: “Soccer is the most popular sport in the whole world. Even more popular than Fortnite.” (13:14)
• History: Roots going back over 2,000 years to Han Dynasty China.
• Health & Fitness: “Soccer players average seven full miles of running per game… and you won’t smell like chlorine afterwards.” (14:05)
• Teamwork: Collaboration highlighted with a quote from pro player Tommy McNamara:

  “You get to play with some of your best friends. You’re pushing each other...Soccer is such a team sport.” (14:59)

• Celebrity Power: “Some soccer players' legs are worth millions of dollars.” (15:46)
• Fans: “3.5 billion people watched at least part of the World Cup in 2018.” (16:19)
• The Legendary Foggy Game: Humorously recounts a 1945 match with rampant cheating due to fog—“mayhem”—showing soccer’s passion and chaos.
• Memorable Quotes:
  • “Like the Avengers, but with chiller uniforms.” (15:22)
  • “Let’s pretend, let’s pretend, let’s pretend we score the gold!” (16:53)
  • “It’s about a group of people coming together with a common goal. Like the Avengers, but with chiller uniforms.” (15:22)

Anna’s Rebuttal (18:55)

• “Soccer balls had feathers and hair in them. That’s disgusting and terrifying and I’m gonna have bad dreams tonight. And lastly, I’m slightly allergic to oranges, so that was triggering.”

4. Micro Round: PUNdemonium (22:47–24:09)

• Format: Three rounds of rapid-fire puns related to each sport.
• Sample Puns:
  • Tommy (Soccer): “Why do soccer players stay on land? Because they’re too cool for pool.”
  • Anna (Swimming): “If you're not swimming, what are you even doing with your life?”
• Judge Claire: “I liked the speedo one, but speedos are kind of gross, so… yikes, let's turn around.” (24:16)

5. Sneak Attack: Speed Facts (24:37–26:51)

• Challenge: How many facts can you say about your sport in one breath?
• Anna impresses with swimming facts and stamina.
• Tommy tries, but runs out of breath and laughs.
• Claire: Judges based on “style, substance, length…”

6. The Final Six (28:12–28:38)

• Each debater makes a last six-word pitch:
  • Tommy: “Beautiful game. No hands. No problem.” (28:24)
  • Anna: “Swim. Because it’s fun. Full send.” (28:33)
• “Full send” moment explained by Claire earlier—youth slang for going all-in. (27:23)

7. Sudden Death Tiebreaker: Jingle (29:38–31:51)

• Challenge: Create a catchy sport jingle.
• Anna (Swimming):

  “Da na na na splash.
  If you have a certain problem, like being real smelly,
  Slap on a swimsuit and flop on your belly.
  Everything is fun in the pool.
  Hey, everyone will think you are cool. Yay.
  Plus, it’ll keep you alive when you fall off your jet ski.” (30:37–31:06)

• Tommy (Soccer):

  “With soccer, you can use your feet.
  Just kick the ball with your favorite cleat.
  Pass the goalie, the crowd cheers.
  Soccer, soccer. No more tears.” (31:14–31:26)

• Judge Claire’s Final Decision:

  “I loved the rhyme and the melody of the soccer jingle, so I had to give it to Tommy. So, soccer for the win. I'm sorry.” (31:59)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I played…when I was little, but that was about it. And I got hit in the shins a lot.” — Claire (01:20)
• “You get to play with some of your best friends…Soccer is such a team sport.” — Pro player Tommy McNamara (14:59)
• “Soccer balls had feathers and hair in them. That’s disgusting and terrifying.” — Anna (18:55)
• “Full send.” — Youth slang explained by Claire (27:23)
• “Soccer for the win. I’m sorry.” — Claire (31:59)
• “Now I’m gonna have to learn how to play soccer… I’ll be expecting my care package of orange slices in the mail.” — Anna (32:21)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Intro & setup: 00:00–04:55
• Declaration of Greatness—Swimming: 04:55–10:57
• Declaration of Greatness—Soccer: 12:41–18:36
• Rebuttals: 18:55–19:27
• Micro Round (PUNdemonium): 22:47–24:09
• Sneak Attack (Speed Facts): 24:37–26:51
• The Final Six: 28:12–28:38
• Sudden Death Jingle: 29:38–31:51
• Winner Announced: 31:59

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Final Outcome & Tone

Throughout the episode, the debaters combine humor and kid-friendly facts. Claire, the judge, emphasizes the importance of teamwork and personal growth in both activities. Ultimately, after a tiebreaker, soccer squeaks out the win due to Tommy’s catchy jingle and melody (“I loved the rhyme and the melody of the soccer jingle, so I had to give it to Tommy.” – 31:59). The tone is fun, inclusive, and lively, offering lots of laughs and a genuine appreciation for both sports.

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For Listeners Who Missed It

This episode is a playful, sharp, and relatable debate where both swimming and soccer shine for their unique strengths—but soccer wins the day on a lyrical technicality. Whether you love the pool or the pitch, you’ll come away with an appreciation for the skill, teamwork, and fun behind both sports.

Transcript

[A]

From the brains behind brains on, it's Smash Boom Best, the show for people with big opinions.

[B]

Hello, I'm Molly Bloom and this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. Today, swimming and soccer are going goggles to sweatband in a debate designed to answer one big question. Which one is the coolest?

[A]

I'm kind of scared of deep water soccer only.

[C]

Only because I know the rules. It doesn't matter how old you are.

[A]

Like what shape your body's in. Anyone can swim, soccer score. I just like being in the water.

[D]

I like how it's not too hot.

[C]

Soccer, it's like more of a team.

[A]

Sport and you have to communicate with people.

[C]

I don't like running.

[B]

It makes you sweaty and gross. Will it be swimming, the splashy life saving skill, or soccer, the super popular game of strategy and speed? We've got Claire here to help us decide. Hi, Claire. Hey. Thank you for being here. So, Claire, what are your thoughts about swimming and soccer? Like, right off the bat, do you like one more than the other?

[A]

Probably swimming just because it's what you do in the summer. It's fun. You can splash around in soccer. I feel like you just get kind of really sweaty and get hit in the head with balls a lot. So.

[B]

So what is your personal experience with soccer?

[A]

I played like hgra, which is like a kid league when I was little, but that was about it. And I got hit in the shins a lot.

[B]

So it didn't make you want to keep playing soccer?

[A]

I mean, it was fun. I made a lot of friends, but I don't play soccer anymore.

[B]

It brought people together. So what about, what is your personal experience with swimming?

[A]

I did the swim team for one year and I was awful at it. Started in lane six, the slowest lane ended in lane six. And I'm a lifeguard this summer, so I'll have to save people from drowning when they can't swim.

[B]

That is a very important skill to have. So would you say at this point you feel like maybe you're biased toward one or the other or you can put kind of your personal feelings aside?

[A]

I can put my feelings aside. I think it depends on what these people gotta say about it. Who's gonna persuade better?

[B]

Excellent. You're coming in with an open mind. So how would you say you feel about debates in general? Do you ever get into debates with your friends and family?

[A]

All the time. I think having debates are really good because people need to be confident in Their opinions, but they also need to have reasons to back it up. Cause otherwise it's just a fruitless argument.

[B]

Mm. So would you say that you are a good debater?

[A]

I think so. I think if I know enough about the topic, then yeah, because otherwise it's just like an argument.

[B]

So what tactics do you use?

[A]

Like having facts ready to list off and being like, confident in what I'm saying and like having good follow up questions to ask people.

[B]

And today, what are you looking for from our debaters that might help win you over?

[A]

Probably some humor, makes it more fun, reasons why they might like it more, like experience it, like stories.

[B]

Maybe that they have some personality and some personal appeals we're looking for. Excellent. Well, without further ado, let's meet those debaters. Please welcome our freestyle queen and winner in the water, Anna Wegel.

[C]

Oh, hi. Just came up the stairs. Thanks for having me.

[B]

Anna, in one sentence, why is swimming cooler than soccer?

[C]

Because it's cooler in temperature. Mm. I'm gonna take the literal literally of your question.

[B]

Very cool. And now for our bicycle kicking cool kid and goal scoring gu Tommy McNamara.

[D]

Hello, Tommy.

[B]

In just one sentence, why is soccer the smashboom best?

[D]

I don't even need a sentence. All I need is one word.

[B]

Go. Excellent. Well, before we get started, let's review the four rounds of this debate. Round one is the declaration of greatness, where each debater will make a persuasive statement that includes all the facts, history, and lore we need to know about their side. Next, it's the micro round, a creative challenge each debater has prepared for in advance. Their plan Knock our socks off with humor and creativity. And then it's time for the sneak attack, a surprise challenge each debater will have to complete on the fly. And to top it off, we've got the final six. Each debater will have six words to show us how and why their side deserves to win. And if we end up with a tie on our hands, there's always a sudden death round to finish it all off. But hopefully it won't come to that. Got it. Claire.

[D]

Got.

[B]

Are you ready to get this show on the road?

[C]

Yes.

[D]

Let's do it.

[B]

Then. Let the games begin. It's time for our first round declaration of greatness. We've flipped a coin and team swimming is up first. All right, Anna, let's hear it.

[C]

Meet mae Bowers, a 9 year old from Northfield, Minnesota, who is a bull shark. Okay, well, she's actually a human and that's the mascot of her swim team. But still, she's a bull shark. She won a race at her first ever swim meet.

[B]

I had a horrible belly flop because I didn't know how to dive back then. And I was just swimming as hard.

[A]

And fast as I could and I.

[C]

Saw that no one else had touched the lines and I couldn't see anyone.

[B]

To the side of me.

[A]

And so I'm like, oh, I'm in the lead. I better just finish this. And I won.

[C]

Not just the heat, but the whole event. And what do you get when you win, besides all the glory and honor?

[B]

I got a duck because I won.

[C]

Your very own rubber duck. And if rubber ducks were the prizes that they gave out to Olympians, well then there's a dude who would have 28 ducks and 23 of those would be gold ones. I'm talking about 33 year old American swimmer Michael Phelps, who's the most successful and most decorated Olympian of all time with a total of 28 medals to his name. That means that arguably the most successful athlete on on the planet is a swimmer. And have you heard of Diana Nyad? She's a swimmer who used the sport to test her limits and do something truly amazing. Imagine this. You plunge into the waters off the coast of Cuba. You're 28. Your goal is to make it to key West Florida, 103 miles away. Swimming the whole way on your own, just you, your wetsuit and your thoughts. No one has ever done this. You want to be the first? You swim through rough seas for 42 hours, 76 miles. You're so close. But wait, you look up and strong winds have blown you off your course. You're not going to make it. You stop the swim. This happened to Diana Nyad in 1978. It was a crushing defeat. She kept doing long distance swims and set other records. But this defeat ate at her. So at age 60, she tried again. She crushed it for 29 miles. But then in the water, she had her first ever asthma attack. She had to stop again. But six weeks later, on her third try, she swam for 40 hours. And then.

[B]

Ow.

[C]

A jellyfish stung her twice. Not just any jellyfish either. The life threatening toxic Portuguese Man O war. The medical team told her it was too dangerous to go on. Then 11 months later, you guessed it, she tries a fourth time and all heck breaks loose. She's circled by sharks. Thunderstorms loom nearby. She gets more jellyfish stings. And then the the sun comes out and burns her skin. She was only 50 miles from the end when her crew pulled her out for her own safety. Another year goes by, and by some miracle, she still hadn't given up. Diana was 64, and she had failed four times before. But guess what? On the fifth attempt, 35 years after her first try, she finally reached the beach in Key West, Florida. This is her right. After that, her mouth was swollen from saltwater and jellyfish stings. But just listen to that conviction. I got three messages. One is, we should never, ever give up.

[B]

Okay? Two is you never too old to chase your dreams.

[A]

That's right.

[C]

Three is it looks like a solitary.

[D]

Sport, but it's a team.

[C]

If you really want to test yourself, swimming is your sport. But it's great if you just want to have fun, too. I swam my entire childhood, all the way through high school. I won some races, I lost some races. I made friends, and I gained mountains of inner and outer strength. Even to this day, I have big, strong shoulders from swimming. I can lift heavy boxes and wiggly dogs and big desks and gallons of milk without breaking a sweat. While soccer players aren't even allowed to use their arms. Sick. Burn. I have the arms of a superhero. In fact, swimming is the ideal workout. Just ask real life scientist Lisa Bowers. It's a total body sport. It exercises every muscle of your body. It's aerobic, so it's great for your heart and lungs. You need a lot of strength, so it's good for your muscles and flexibility. And it's not hard on any of your joints. Lisa is a microbiology professor at St. Olaf College in Minnesota and a former Division 1 scholarship swimmer. And to those who say swimming is a solitary sport, Lisa says wrong. Swimming is both an individual sport and a team sport in many ways. So you swim your individual events, so it's just you against the clock. But then also there are relays. So you're on a team with three other individuals, all working toward a goal. That's a great point. But guess what else? Swimming isn't just a sport. It's a vital survival skill, too. Let's say you're at the beach and a big wave hits. Or it rains really, really hard and your backyard fills with water. Or you're on vacation and you fall off a Jet Ski. Is soccer gonna save your life? No. But knowing how to swim well. So let's review. With swimming, you can win cool awards. You can test your limits. It makes you strong and flexible. It teaches you about teamwork, and it could save your life. When you look at these facts, it's obvious swimming is way cooler than Soccer plus, our lives depend on it.

[B]

Wow. An inspiring and invigorating declaration about swimming. Claire, what did you think? What stood out to you there?

[A]

I thought when you started making the point about awards, I was like, where is this going? Like, not everything's about winning. But then you went on to make the point about the journey and pushing yourself, which I think is a good point, because as a runner, I run cross country, and it's so mentally challenging. But when you get to the end, you're like, wow, I did that in that story. But that woman was really cool. And also being trained as a lifeguard. I hope everyone can swim, because I don't want to have to save anyone right now, I'm team swimming, but still haven't heard from team soccer, so gotta match her, I guess.

[B]

Good luck. Tommy, now is your chance. You've got 30 seconds to respond to Anna's stroke of genius. There. And your time starts now.

[D]

Let me just say, first of all, that you know where you don't need a lifeguard? The soccer field. Okay. Belly flops. Lightning sharks. That wasn't a declaration of greatness. That was a declaration of danger. And you were talking. You were talking about how it's not a solitary sport. Who's on your team? The jellyfish. Out of here. I don't really talk like that.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

And you also said, have you ever heard of Diana Nayak? No, I hadn't. You know who I have heard of? Mia Hamm. Pele. Ronaldo. The rest, this is.

[C]

Okay, wait.

[D]

I know more soccer players.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[C]

Those are really good points. And I think you're really mean. I think you're really mean.

[D]

I'm actually very nice. But my last. They were mean.

[B]

Okay, Tommy, it is your turn for your declaration of greatness. Let's hear it.

[D]

It's a hot summer day. You're running around the field, giving it your all, and then the whistle blows. You and your teammates walk to the sidelines, exhausted, but excited for the second half and the chance to win. Then you hear the most magical four word phrase in sports.

[B]

Who wants orange slices?

[D]

I do.

[B]

I do.

[A]

Me. Me.

[C]

I want two.

[D]

Ooh, oranges. Can I have one, dad? If you're One of the 2.3 million kids in the US who play soccer, you know what I'm talking about. Soccer is the most popular sport in the whole world. Even more popular than Fortnite. Kids across the globe are hitting headers, getting past goalies, and, yes, eating orange slices at halftime for that tasty vitamin C boost to power them. To victory. According to FIFA, the international federation of Association Football. The earliest version of soccer dates back to the Han Dynasty in China, over 2,000 years ago. The game was known as Siu Chu. It involved kicking a ball into a net, which we still do today. The players filled the balls with feathers and hair, which luckily, we don't do anymore.

[C]

Hey, pass the ball.

[D]

Sure.

[A]

It's full of hair.

[D]

Actually, I'm good. You can keep it. Soccer is also good for you. For your heart, your blood pressure, and your general fitness. Why? A big part of it is the running. Soccer fields are huge. Some soccer players average seven full miles of running per game. All that exercise and fresh air does wonders for the human body, and you won't smell like chlorine afterwards. But hey, why listen to me? A guy named Tommy McNamara, who doesn't play soccer professionally, when you could listen to this guy? Hi, this is Tommy McNamara, and I'm a midfielder for the Houston Dynamo in Major League Soccer. That's right. There is another Tommy McNamara who is a professional soccer player. And we have a lot in common. We're both super cool, have great names, and are exceptional athletes. Wait, sorry. That last one is just him. Tommy says one of the things that makes soccer so great is the teamwork.

[B]

You get to play with some of your best friends.

[C]

You're training alongside them every day.

[D]

You're pushing each other to try to get better. You have goals that you want to achieve personally and as a team. Soccer is such a team Sport. In the 2014 World cup, teams averaged 390 passes a game. 390. Talk about sharing is caring. It's not like some individual sports where you're just on your own, racing against a clock. Swimming. It's about a group of people coming together with a common goal. Like the Avengers, but with chiller uniforms. And while soccer players aren't quite superheroes, they do have some of the mightiest legs around. In fact, some soccer players legs are worth millions of dollars.

[B]

Why, hello there.

[C]

Nice to meet you.

[B]

I'm Cristiano Ronaldo's right leg.

[C]

I'm so important that in 2009, my team, Real Madrid, had me insured for over $100 million. I meant so much to the team that they needed to have a backup plan if anything ever happened to me. Hold on just one second.

[A]

I'm Cristiano Ronaldo's left leg here to.

[B]

Say that it wasn't just you. Righty. It's both of us that make the big bucks.

[C]

Hey, let's not fight. We need to Work together.

[A]

Do you want to kick it sometime?

[B]

Ugh.

[D]

Lastly, let's talk about the fans. Soccer has a ton of them. Like get this, 3.5 billion people watched at least part of the World cup in 2018. That's half the people in the world. And they are some of the most dedicated fans ever. They paint their faces, they cheer and scream and they sing really fun chants. Everything from their team name to popular songs to my personal favorite, let's pretend. Let's pretend.

[C]

Let's pretend we score the gold.

[D]

Soccer fans love the game so much that they really get involved. Here's an example. The year is 1945. Arsenal from London are playing a match against Dynamo from Moscow. The type of match they're playing is called a friendly, but this match would be better described as a foggy. Legend has it the fog was so thick that day that it was almost impossible for the players to see. What happens in a soccer game when no one can see mayhem. Both teams ended up sneaking extra players onto the field and the ref didn't even notice it was a free for all. The visibility was so bad that at one point, Arsenal's goalie ran right into a goal goal post and was out for the count. That's gotta hurt. But did they call the match? Nyet. That's Russian for no. People say that a fan took his place as goalkeeper so they could finish the match.

[B]

Hey, where did Jerry go?

[A]

His pretzel's getting cold.

[C]

Uh, I think I see him in net.

[D]

Arsenal lost the game 4 to 6 3. But many of the details are lost to time. I guess you could say everyone's memory was a little foggy. In conclusion, soccer is the world's sport. It's a game that's been played for thousands of years by people from totally different cultures who speak different languages, but have some important things in common. A love of the game and a hunger for those sweet, sweet orange slices.

[B]

A delicious declaration of greatness. Claire, what did you think of Tommy's rapturous statement about soccer?

[A]

Well, I thought you were pretty funny, so that was good.

[B]

All right, Anna. Tommy really kicked things into high gear, but you've got 30 seconds to respond and your time starts now.

[C]

So, cheaters. We're dealing with cheaters. Those are the kind of athletes we're talking about. Second of all, Tommy McNamara. No one on earth could have the name Anna Wegel, much less a world class athlete. So you just lucked out on that one. Thirdly, I personally love the smell of chlorine and I definitely prefer it to sweaty armpits. Next. Soccer balls had feathers and hair in them. That's disgusting and terrifying and I'm gonna have bad dreams tonight. And lastly, I'm slightly allergic to oranges, so that was triggering.

[D]

Oh, I'm sorry.

[B]

Thank you. Okay, Claire, now's the time. Think about which declaration of greatness impressed you more. Don't say it out loud though. Have you marked it down?

[A]

I have marked it down.

[B]

Excellent listeners at home, we want you to award a point too. If you're unsure which declaration was cooler, just press pause until you've made up your mind. And if a brilliant idea for a debate pops into your head while you're deciding, head to smashboom.org and tell us about it. All right, debaters, you get to take a break. Grab yourself some orange slices and a.

[A]

Fresh towel and we'll be right back with some more smashboom best.

[C]

You're watching State of Debate. Home to ragin rhetoric and awe inspiring argumentation.

[D]

Todd Douglas here with 15 time debate champ Taylor Lincoln. Today we're covering a debate in real time. This doozy just broke out at the International Federation of Fairies annual convention.

[C]

That's right, Todd. Fairies from all over the world have congregated for their first night of fun and fairy serious conversation. Nice. But the tooth fairy is in a fiery debate with Roger, a regular fairy.

[D]

Let's listen in. I don't see how you could have a time consuming hobby and not end up neglecting your duties. Tooth fairy. Do you even care about collecting teeth anymore? Of course I do, Roger. But I don't see what's wrong with having a hobby or two. Look, I've been trying to grow my interest beyond just collecting teeth. So I started making two sculptures. I made one out of molars last week and I think my work has a lot of bite.

[B]

Get it?

[D]

Bite, Guys. Because of teeth. So you're saying you're going to give up being the tooth fairy entirely so you can be an artist?

[B]

Wow.

[D]

You guys hearing this? He's going to let teeth rot under pillows around the world. Ooh, logical fallacies give me the heebie jeebies.

[C]

I hear that logical fallacies are common mistakes people make when debating. There are many different kinds.

[D]

And that one we just heard from Roger is called the strawman fallacy. It's when you blow someone's argument way out of proportion. Or maybe even make up a fake problem to get mad about. Like letting teeth rot under children's pillows all over the world.

[C]

Lets see how this plays out for Roger.

[B]

Whoa. That.

[D]

That's not what I meant, Roger. Look, I'm just saying it's possible to be good at your job and have hobbies. Of course I'm gonna continue to do my job as a tooth fairy.

[A]

Yeah, chill out, Roger.

[D]

That guy is always blowing things right out of proportion.

[C]

Well, there you have it, folks. Smart fairies and people aren't swayed by a strawman fallacy. We'll catch you next time on State of Debate.

[D]

Smash Boom Best.

[B]

And we're back with Smash Boom Best, the show about showdowns. We rely on our listeners for debate suggestions. For example, Eowyn from Issaquah, Washington sent us this great matchup.

[A]

My debate idea is beach versus mountains.

[B]

We'll give her a call at the end of the show to see who she thinks should win. Alright, let's get back to our Smash Boom battle of the day. Swimming versus soccer with our judge, Claire.

[C]

Hello.

[B]

Our buoyant bruiser and cleated contestant are back for their next bout. Micro round. This week's micro round challenge is pundamonium. We've asked Tommy and Anna to cook up some puns about soccer and swimming. We want them to tickle our punny bones. They're prepared for three high octane rounds of pun slinging. So this way to the pun show. All right, Tommy, we'll let you kick this thing off.

[D]

Why do soccer players stay on land? Because they're too cool for pool.

[C]

If you're not swimming, what are you even doing with your life?

[D]

Why did the swimmer's mom take him shopping? He had a need for speedo.

[C]

You can get him online now. So if you think soccer is a better sport, then you've really gone off the deep end.

[A]

I hope you don't, because then I'll have to dive in and save you.

[C]

Lifeguard Claire to the rescue.

[D]

Why did the soccer player stay home from school? He had to take a kick day.

[C]

Learn how to swim if you want to make a splash. Goo goo, goo, goo goo goo.

[B]

Totally punny. All right, Claire, what did you think about those puns? Did you have a favorite?

[A]

Um, I liked the speedo one, but speedos are kind of gross, so. I don't know, like, sometimes you walk into boys swim practice and you're like, yikes, let's turn around. So.

[B]

All right, Claire, it's time to award a point to whichever team you think did best. Don't say it out loud.

[A]

I've already picked. I got my point.

[B]

That was quick. All right, now it's time for our sneak attack. Tommy and Anna have no Idea what their sneak attack challenge will be. So they're going to have to invent something on the spot. Are you guys feeling improvisational today?

[D]

Yes, yes and yes.

[B]

And your top secret assignment is speed facts. How many facts can you get out about your side in one breath? Ooh. Anna and Tommy, feel free to whisper, shout, slur, do whatever you have to do to get the most facts in. We'll give you some time to think up a bunch of facts and then you'll both take a big breath and let her rip. Sound good?

[A]

Yeah. Swimmers might have an advantage here. Cause they know how to take some deep breaths.

[C]

I think I've done three lengths of the pool without breathing before.

[B]

Oh, my goodness.

[A]

Gotta step up your game, Tommy.

[B]

Tommy was up first last round. So Anna, you're up. Use those swimmers lungs. And if you take a breath, I'm gonna tell you to stop. We're watching you closely.

[C]

Okay, Ready?

[B]

Mm.

[C]

There are four main types of strokes that we didn't get to talk about today. There's freestyle, which looks like a dog. There's butterfly, which looks like a butterfly. There's breaststroke, which looks like you're whipping butter. And there's backstroke, which you can do on your back. You can swim all of them together.

[B]

Can you take a breath?

[C]

Nope. It was just like out. You could swim all of them together at an event called the im, which stands for individual medley. Or you can swim them as a part of a relay, which is when you swim with three other swimmers on a team. Or you could do what's called a distance swim, where you just keep going and going and someone is at the end of your lane holding card.

[D]

That has to be disqualified for the end.

[A]

I found myself holding my breath with you. I was like, ow. Ow. That was harder than I thought.

[B]

That was very impressive. Well done, Tommy. Are you ready? Your lungs feeling strong?

[D]

I'm just gonna chew on a blade of grass cause I'm a soccer player and then I'll be ready to go.

[B]

All right, whenever you're ready.

[D]

Soccer fields are 100 yards long. It is known as the beautiful game. It has been a rough for thousands of years of moro thonging that either. I can't do it.

[B]

Really hard.

[D]

It's so hard.

[C]

I think I cheated. Who am I?

[A]

A soccer.

[B]

Oh, man. That was both impressive on both sides. Really well done.

[D]

That was generous.

[B]

All right, Claire, time to award a point. Style, substance, length. So many different criteria you can judge on.

[A]

Yeah, this is a really biased kind.

[B]

Of go with your gut.

[A]

Well, all right. I'VE made my decision. Don't know if it's the best one, but you know, she went for it.

[B]

Sometimes you just gotta commit.

[A]

Full send, as the teenagers say nowadays.

[B]

What do they say?

[A]

Full send.

[C]

Full send.

[A]

Like whenever you're about texting. No, it's like, like you're, like you're about to, like, do something. Not sure if you're gonna do it, but whatever. Full send. Like you're gonna eat some dinner. You want to add some salt. How much salt? Do all of it. Full send.

[B]

Wow. Thank you for that.

[C]

I wrote it down.

[B]

All right. This debate is really getting my heart rate up. How about you, Claire? Are you feeling nervous? For our debaters, I'm.

[A]

I mean, one of them's gotta step it up. Cause one of them's behind. So we gotta bring your best game.

[B]

All right? And we don't know who it is. So they're both gonna step it up.

[A]

No, exactly. That's what I'm saying.

[B]

Gotta, gotta both gotta step it up. In this final round.

[C]

The final six.

[B]

Tomi and Anna, you have six more words to persuade Claire that your side is the smash. Boom. Best. Tommy, you're up.

[D]

Beautiful game. No hands. No problem.

[B]

Anna, your turn.

[C]

Swim. Because it's fun. Full send.

[D]

That's cheating.

[C]

Oh, that was good. Oh, man.

[B]

All right. Okay, Claire, it's time to award your final point.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Have you decided?

[A]

I decided.

[B]

Yeah. All right, tally up those points. Who will the winner of this debate battle be? Will it be swimming, the splashy water bound sport, or soccer, the most celebrated game in the world? Claire. Who won?

[A]

Can I say something? Yes, please. Okay, so I thought both teams brought a lot to the table. I think swimming is really good because you don't have to rely on other people, but you can still work as a team to get to to your goal. But I also think soccer's fun. You can like, joke around with people and have some fun, make new friends. And I feel like you travel a lot in soccer. At least all my friends do. So that being said, you guys have tied, so I think we're gonna have to go onto the sudden death round. It's a toss.

[D]

It's a draw.

[A]

It's a draw. Yeah.

[B]

Okay. That means we're going into our tiebreaker round. Sudden death. Your sudden death challenge is. It's a jingle. Come up with a short jingle for your side. Feel free to channel a different era and keep them short and catchy. We'll give you some time to write your jingles for swimming and soccer while we Hear some delightful hold music.

[C]

Splish, splash, please don't sink, doggy, paddle, freestyle, no, don't blink. Oceans and lakes, rivers and swimming pools. Tools, kick, kick, run past me the ball, slide, tackle, strike the goalie falls, go.

[B]

Are you guys ready to present your jingles?

[C]

Never been readier.

[D]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Anna.

[C]

Yeah?

[B]

It is your turn. Let's hear your jingle.

[C]

Here, let me just chew on this blade of grass.

[D]

That's my thing.

[C]

It was on the side of the pool. Da na na na splash. Da na na na splash. If you have a certain problem, like being real smelly, Slap on a swimsuit and flop on your belly. Everything is fun in the pool. Hey, everyone will think you are cool. Yay. Plus, it'll keep you alive when you fall off your jet ski.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Good job.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

Very nice, very nice, very nice.

[B]

All right, Tommy, let's hear your jingle.

[D]

With soccer, you can use your feet. Just kick the ball with your favorite cleat. Pass the goalie, the crowd cheers. Soccer, soccer. No more tears.

[B]

Yay.

[A]

Very nice, very nice.

[C]

Plus, it'll keep you alive when you fall off your jet ski.

[B]

Those are two very excellent jingles.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Very nice.

[B]

If I saw those on the tv, I would be like, hey, that sounds like it's for me.

[C]

I'll buy those products.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Let me go kick a sock roll.

[B]

But, Claire, it all comes down to this award. A point for whoever you think had a more catchy jingle.

[A]

All right, it is done. The point has been awarded.

[B]

Claire, tell us, who is the winner of this smash boom battle?

[A]

Well, it was really close, but right at the end, I'm a choir gal, and I loved the rhyme and the melody of the soccer jingle, so I had to give it to Tomi. So, soccer for the win. I'm sorry.

[C]

Who knew Tommy was such a choir gal?

[D]

I was a choir boy, and I'm proud.

[A]

Oh, my God. Yeah, I just tell it was good.

[C]

Now I'm gonna have to learn how to play soccer. It was really nice to meet you, Tommy. I'll be expecting my care package of orange slices in the mail.

[B]

Nice.

[C]

Next week. Congratulations.

[D]

All right, Anna, it was so nice to compete against you. You are very funny. And you are a truly a hip person, unlike me. You knew how to use full send right away. Very impressive. And I thought your jingle was great.

[C]

Thanks.

[A]

She did get to full send point. I gave her that one.

[B]

Yeah. Well, Claire, thanks. Soccer won today, but what about you? We want to know. Head to smashboom.org and vote.

[A]

Maybe you have a different opinion. So let's keep this debate going.

[B]

All right, that's it for this super sporty showdown. Smashboom Best is a creation of the people at Brains on and American public media.

[C]

It's produced by Mark Sanchez, Sandon Totten, Molly Bloom, Elissa Dudley, and Rosie Dupont.

[D]

We had engineering help from Corey Schrepel, Steve Griffiths and Dan Powell.

[C]

And we had production help from Manica Wilhelm, Christina Lopez, and Lauren D. Brenna.

[B]

Everson is the voice of our hold music and our announcer is Marlee Feuerwerker. Otto. We want to give a special thanks to Justin Koo, Austin Cross, Taylor Kaufman, Mildred Marie Langford, Jonathan Shiflett, Micah Kielbon, Todd Masterson, and Lewis Rinkovich. Tommy, is there anyone you want to thank today?

[D]

I want to give a quick shout out to my family friends, the Dwyer family. They're some of my favorite people and their son Connor is an Olympic swimmer. So I just want to apologize in advance if you hear this, that swimming is. And I'm sorry.

[B]

And what about you, Anna? Anyone you want to thank today?

[C]

Yeah, I want to thank the two ladies I interviewed, Mae Bowers and Lisa Bowers, who are my niece and sister.

[B]

And how about you, Claire? Do you have any special shout outs?

[A]

Well, thanks for Lauren for asking me to come on the show. It was super fun.

[B]

And before we go, let's call up Eowyn. She is the listener who suggested the beaches versus mountains debate. I think.

[A]

I think mountains would win because some mountains turn into volcanoes and some volcanoes.

[D]

Make beaches and the snow from the.

[B]

Top of the mountains melts into streams.

[A]

That go into the ocean.

[B]

Whoa, Eowyn, nice reasoning. So who do you think would win? If you have an idea for an epic debate battle, head to smashboom.org and tell us all about it. We'll be back soon with another debate battle. Goodbye.

[C]

Ciao.

[D]

Bye. You guys don't know this. We had to start this debate. Ate 30 minutes late because Anna ate before and you can't eat swimming.