Toilets vs Refrigerators: A fan favorite encore

Summary

Smash Boom Best: Toilets vs Refrigerators – Fan Favorite Encore

Release Date: April 16, 2026
Podcast: Smash Boom Best – Brains On Universe
Host: Molly Bloom
Debaters:

• Nora McInerney (Fridges)
• Jill Replogle (Toilets)
  Judge: Monty from Seattle, WA

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Overview

In this lively, kid-friendly debate, two household titans face off: Toilets vs. Refrigerators. The episode pits the cool, food-preserving power of fridges—championed by author and podcaster Nora McInerney—against the hygienic, comfort-giving abilities of toilets—defended by reporter Jill Replogle. Judge Monty listens to historical facts, clever retorts, and creative challenges before crowning a winner. This episode is packed with laughs, real-world science, and a healthy dose of toilet humor!

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction of the Debate [01:12–05:17]

• Host Molly Bloom sets the stage—refrigerators and toilets are things we often take for granted but would hate to live without.
• Judge Monty shares personal experiences with both appliances and admits she can't imagine living without a toilet.
  • Quote: “I cannot imagine at all living without a toilet.” – Monty [02:33]

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2. Declaration of Greatness

Refrigerators (Nora McInerney) [05:49–11:45]

• Nora lays out the historic difficulties of preserving food, recalling “grueling” 19th-century ice harvesting.
  • Quote: “Gone are the days of harvesting ice like Floyd and Cecil. What now? We have refrigerators.” – Nora [07:14]
• Explains the science: fridges use evaporative cooling with refrigerant cycles for safe, reliable cold storage.
• Celebrates the global culinary access fridges provide (fresh produce, meat, cultural foods year-round).
• Emphasizes health and scientific advances: preservation of vaccines, drugs, blood, and lab samples.
  • Quote: “Fridges equal freedom. Freedom from frigid ice harvest. Freedom to enjoy a culinary cacophony of choices.” – Nora [11:42]
• Playful jab at toilets: “Toilets stink.” [11:45]

Toilets (Jill Replogle) [13:30–18:50]

• Jill opens with a relaxing, comedic meditation on the joy of using toilets.
• Traces the history from ancient civilizations to Roman sewers and Alexander Cummings’ 18th-century S-curve “U-bend” invention, which prevented sewer gas and fires.
  • Quote: “If you like avoiding fart fires and not smelling poo gas, thank Alexander Cummings.” – Jill [16:04]
• Modern toilets’ impact: sanitation, disease reduction, and community well-being.
• Spotlights global inequity: 2 billion people lack access, leading to disease—but new tech (e.g., composting toilets, sewage-into-jet-fuel, toilet health monitors) is promising.
  • Quote: “Scientists have even figured out that high temperature and pressure can turn sewage into, get this, jet fuel.” – Jill [18:19]

3. Rebuttals

• Jill’s Fridge Rebuttal [12:37–13:19]: Points out fridges’ environmental harm (ozone-depleting refrigerants, food miles, waste). Suggests old-fashioned food storage was earth-friendlier.
  • Quote: “Refrigerators are environmental nightmares… Why can’t we just go back to storing our food underground?” – Jill [13:15]
• Nora’s Toilet Rebuttal [19:30–20:02]: Critiques excessive water use in flushing, notes possible alternatives for human waste, and mentions the unpleasantness of in-house toilets if broken.
  • Quote: “At some point, you’re just pooping in your house. Isn’t that gross?” – Nora [19:55]

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4. Micro Round: Influencer Showdown (YouTube Star Personas) [24:37–29:06]

• Jill’s Toilet Queen (“Patty Potty Show”): A toilet host gives tips, does an “unboxing” of a glittery toilet brush, and plugs DIY alarm systems for unflushed toilets. Only the “three Ps” (pee, poop, paper) should be flushed!
  • Quote: “Never, ever flush cat litter down the drain… only the three P’s!” – Jill as Patty Potty [25:59]
• Nora’s Fridge Influencer (“Fridge Fam ASMR”): Nora chills with her fridge “Big Freezy,” showcasing a global condiment collection, leftover burritos, and that satisfying ice/crisp soda opening.
  • Quote: “Subscribe to become a part of the Fridge fam… Otherwise you’re lukewarm.” – Nora [28:51]

Judge Monty’s Feedback: Enjoyed the toilet’s built-in deodorizer; thought the fridge ASMR chewing was gross but loved the leftovers and condiments.

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5. Sneak Attack: Sports Team Chant [30:09–32:28]

• Each side invents a team chant.
  • Fridge (Nora): “Fridges forever, Toilets never!”
  • Toilet (Jill): “T-O-I-L-E-T-S—Flushing potties are the best. In your house or over a bridge, we don’t need no stinking fridge!”
• Monty enjoyed Jill’s “sing-songy” style, but also liked Nora’s block letter approach.

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6. Final Six (Six-Words Closing Argument) [33:01–33:14]

• Toilets: “Without them, life would stink.” – Jill [33:04]
• Fridges: “Fridges. Because warm food isn’t cool.” – Nora [33:11]

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Memorable Moments & Quotes

• Environmental Impact Debate:
  • Jill: “Refrigerators are environmental nightmares…” [13:15]
  • Nora: “Toilets, wastewater… use 1.6 gallons per flush, which is a lot.” [19:30]
• Science Connections:
  • Fridges: “Refrigeration makes it possible for us to experiment and create these life saving innovations and then transport them across the globe.” – Nora [11:28]
  • Toilets: “Scientists have even figured out that high temperature and pressure can turn sewage into, get this, jet fuel.” – Jill [18:19]
• Cultural Humor:
  • “Omg. It’s a glitter studded exfoliating toilet brush.” – Jill as Patty Potty [26:33]
  • “Fridges got the snacks on deck. Treats galore. End pop in produce.” – Nora [10:54]

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Results & Judge’s Reasoning [33:48–34:41]

• Winner: Toilets!
  • Monty: “I liked Nora’s declaration of greatness more, but I liked Jill’s rebuttal better. And then I voted for Jill in the micro round and in the sneak attack.” [34:07]
• Both sides fought hard; debate was very close, with each round contributing to the final decision.

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Notable Timestamps

• Debate Begins/Intros: 01:09–05:17
• Fridge Declaration of Greatness: 05:49–11:45
• Discussion & Rebuttals: 12:01–13:19, 19:30–20:02
• Toilet Declaration of Greatness: 13:30–18:50
• Micro Round (YouTube Influencers): 24:37–29:06
• Sports Team Chants: 30:09–32:28
• Final Six Words: 33:01–33:14
• Winner Announced: 33:48

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Tone & Style

The episode is playful, witty, and engaging, balancing humor (lots of puns and jokes) with accessible science and real-world facts. Both debaters engage in friendly ribbing (“fridges forever, toilets never!”) while grounding arguments in history, health, and global impact.

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Conclusion

Toilets narrowly flushed out refrigerators as the “Smash Boom Best” in this fan-favorite debate. Judge Monty’s careful consideration highlighted the episode’s strengths: funny, fact-packed, and full of surprises. Whether you care about leftovers or personal hygiene, this debate will have you considering just how essential these fixtures truly are!

Transcript

[A]

Lemonade.

[B]

Brains On Universe.

[A]

Hi, friends. It's me, Molly. A couple quick things before we jump in. I wanted to let you know that Brains on is doing a tour. So we are doing live shows across the country this spring. Our next two shows are in San Francisco and Portland. That's at the end of the month. And then we're heading to Lawrence, Kansas, Ann Arbor, Michigan, Buffalo, Toronto, Columbus, Ohio, and Milwaukee. We hope you can make it to one of those shows. If you want to see more information, go to brainson.org events and you can also get tickets there, too. That's brainson.org events. And we are hard at work on the next season of smashboom. Best. We are so excited to share it with you. We'll be back with new episodes in May, but until then, we wanted to share this encore episode. This is a fan favorite. It is toilets versus refrigerators. Enjoy.

[C]

From the brains behind Brains on, it's

[B]

Smash Boom Best, the show for people with big opinions.

[A]

Hi, I'm Molly Bloom, and this is Smash Boom Best, the show where we take two things, smash them together, and ask you to decide which one is best. Today we've got a brawl between two things we'd hate to live without. It's refrigerators versus toilets. Which is more awesome, stone cold fridges or savvy lavvies? It's a toughie, but Monte here from Seattle, Washington is going to help us make the call. Hi, Monty.

[B]

Hi, Molly. Thanks for having me.

[A]

Thank you for being here. So, Monty, I just want to get to know you a little bit. How are you doing today? Are you excited to join us for the debate?

[B]

I'm great. Yes. I'm very excited.

[A]

So what comes to mind when you think of refrigerators?

[B]

This small fridge we have at my mom's apartment, which is usually pretty organized because it's small. And then second, I think of the very large fridge I have at my dad's house, which is usually unorganized.

[A]

So two very different fridge experiences.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So what do you think about when I say the word toilets?

[B]

Toilets? Well, I think of

[D]

using them.

[A]

So have you ever thought about living without either of these fixtures or have you ever had to go without them?

[B]

I have never had to go without a fridge or a toilet. Maybe we've had to keep the fridge closed when the power goes out so it doesn't lose its coldness. But I cannot imagine at all living without a toilet.

[C]

For sure, this debate is biased already. This I demand

[D]

because Monty gets it.

[C]

We need a new judge. I'm petitioning I don't know who I petition.

[A]

I think Monty can put aside her feelings and judge this fairly.

[B]

I can.

[A]

Well, let's meet our debaters Here to throw some punches on behalf of iceboxes everywhere. It's author and podcast creator of terrible. Thanks for asking, Nora McInerney. Hey, Nora.

[C]

Hello. Hello, everybody.

[A]

So, Nora, in a single sentence, tell us why fridges are the chillest household appliance out there.

[C]

Fridges are the best because who wants to eat room temperature food?

[A]

Well, here to represent those relaxation stations we call toilets, it's reporter Jill Replogle.

[C]

Hey, Jill.

[D]

Hi. Can I get a whoosh?

[A]

Whoosh.

[D]

You hear that? That's the sound of me flushing away the competition. Actually, don't do that. It's really bad for the pipes.

[A]

So, Jill, in one sentence, why are toilets top tier?

[D]

Well, it's really more of a reflection, and one that Monty clearly already understands. You can live without cold butter, but do you really want to live without a toilet?

[B]

Definitely not.

[A]

This is going to be a hard one. I want both toilets and refrigerators. So I'm glad I do not have to make this decision. Today, let's run through the rounds of debate. First, we've got the declaration of greatness. Each debater will make a case for their side, presenting the history, science, and lore that makes their side uniquely fabulous. They'll also have 30 seconds each to rebut their opponent's declaration. Then we've got the micro round, a creative challenge each side has prepared for in advance. Round three is the sneak attack, a surprise prompt debaters will respond to on the spot. And to top it off, we've got the final six. Each team will have just six words to make a closing case for their side. Our judge, Monty, will award two points in the first round, one for the best declaration of greatness and one for the best rebuttal. Then she'll award one point in each round after that. But she won't tell us who she's voting voted for until the end of the show. Listeners, we want you to judge, too. Grab a pen and a piece of paper and mark down your points as you listen. When the episode is over, Visit our website, smashboom.org and vote for the team that you think won. Okay, Jill, Nora, and Monty, are you ready for this freezing, flush filled fracas?

[C]

To start, we are prepared and we are ready. Yeah.

[D]

So ready. I could only be more ready if I was relaxing on my porcelain throne. But I'm not. I'm in the closet. In the closet. Recording.

[A]

Well, it's time for the declaration of greatness. Jill and Nora here are going to present the most fabulous facts and awe inspiring arguments in favor of their side. We flipped a coin and Nora, you're up first. Tell us why fridges are brilliant.

[C]

You know that movie Frozen? Yeah, you've probably heard of it. It opens with a scene of men cutting ice.

[D]

Born of cold and winter air and

[E]

mountain rain combining, this icy course, both

[D]

foul and fair, has a frozen harbor. Mining.

[C]

This is what we used to do to keep our food cold. People would harvest ice from, say, a frozen lake, transport it to warmer places, and there they would store it in underground ice houses. But let me tell you, this was no fairy tale. Picture this. You're back in the early 1800s. It's January in northern Minnesota. It's approximately negative 10,000 degrees Fahrenheit. It's so cold you forgot you had fingers. And let me tell you, no one's having a good time here. Instead, they're throwing out their backs, trying to lift 300 pounds of ice me back.

[D]

Oh, it's killing me.

[A]

So heavy. So cold.

[C]

This was grueling work. Folks like Cecil and Floyd here would harvest ice from frozen ponds, rivers and lakes using hand saws. And if you weren't careful, you just might fall in.

[A]

Oh, not again. Cecil. Soy.

[C]

I'm freezing.

[D]

Help.

[C]

Freezing my butt off. Ooh. No, thank you. Gone are the days of harvesting ice like Floyd and Cecil. What now? We have refrigerators. Refrigerators are the ace appliance. They are calm, cool and collected, not to mention beyond convenient. I can safely store my sauces, my stinky cheeses, my precious produce and leftover lasagna all in one place. It even makes ice.

[D]

Whoa.

[C]

No frostbite here, fellas. Just the science of evaporative cooling. So you know how you feel cold when you get out of the pool on a hot day? Well, that's because liquid absorbs heat as it evaporates into gas, cooling your skin in the process. Fridges do the same thing. Refrigerators send a liquid called refrigerant through a series of coils in your fridge, and as it circulates, it absorbs warmth from your food and evaporates into gas. Your fridge then takes this gas, compresses it back into a liquid, and the cycle starts again. Oh, excuse me. Hello.

[D]

Hey, is. Is your refrigerator running?

[C]

Yeah. Yes, it is.

[A]

Oh, well, yeah, you better go catch it.

[C]

Well, actually, the joke's on you, prankster, because this fridge isn't going anywhere. Refrigerators are reliable. I mean, when's the last Time you clogged your fridge, huh?

[A]

Uh, actually, never.

[C]

Exactly. Refrigerators are revolutionary. American inventor Jacob Perkins was the first to patent the refrigeration cycle in 1834. But it would take over a century before fridges became a household staple. By 1944, 85% of American households had a fridge in their kitchen. And now you can have fresh meat, eggs, vibrant fruits and vegetables all at your fingertips. Pristine pears and juicy tomatoes.

[D]

Who am I, the Queen of England?

[E]

This is so much better than salted

[A]

pork and pickled beets.

[C]

Yeah, and so much better for you, too. Refrigeration made fresh foods available year round, no matter where you lived. This meant more nutrition for everyone. The refrigerator's power of preservation not only gave us more accessibility, but it helped keep our foods from spoiling. Because when food is cold, it's harder for things like mold and bacteria to grow. Prior to refrigeration, it was common for people in the warmer months to eat spoiled food and die from diarrhea.

[A]

Oh, dreadful. Diarrhea. No likey.

[C]

Yeah, toilets can keep that. Refrigerators have also opened their doors and our minds to different cultures. Refrigerated car trains and cargo ships meant we could exchange food from all over the world. Fresh beef from Australia. Dragon fruit from Vietnam. Grapes from Chile. Brie from France.

[D]

Flavor explosion.

[A]

I feel like I just went on

[C]

the most awesome vacation, but I never

[E]

even left the house.

[C]

Right. Diets were no longer dictated by what part of the world you lived in or what season it was. The options are endless. You want strawberries at Christmas? You got it. Alaskan salmon for dinner. Even though you live in the Arizona desert? Not a problem. Ice cream, popsicles? Sherbet? You sure better believe it. Fridges got the snacks on deck. Treats galore. End pop in produce.

[A]

All right, all right.

[C]

They're in science labs, too. Just like we use refrigerators to preserve our food, scientists and healthcare workers use them to preserve lab samples. Drugs, organs, blood, tissues, and vaccines, including the COVID vaccines. Refrigeration makes it possible for us to experiment and create these life saving innovations and then transport them across the globe. This makes for a healthier, happier, and more harmonious world. Fridges equal freedom. Freedom from frigid ice harvest. Freedom to enjoy a culinary cacophony of choices. Freedom to keep that salad dressing around because, yeah, the expiration date wore off the label, but still smells fine.

[A]

Mmm.

[E]

Tastes fine to me.

[C]

In conclusion, refrigerators rule. Toilets stink.

[A]

A very cool argument for life saving life improving refrigerators. Monty, what stood out to you about Nora's declaration of greatness.

[B]

This declaration of greatness was very persuasive. Nora brought up lots of things that I hadn't even thought about before the debate, like how they allow for better nutrition and how fridges allow food to be transported to multiple places so I can have strawberry at Christmas. She talked about how they're important for science, like the COVID vaccine and other life saving drugs. Overall, I thought it was a very fantastic declaration of greatness.

[C]

Thank you. I agree. I agree. Thank you, Monty.

[B]

You're welcome.

[C]

Good luck, Jill.

[D]

Oh, I can't wait. Let's get started. Start the clock.

[A]

Okay, well, it's time for your rebuttal, Jill. You've got 30 seconds to flush Nora's argument down the drain. And your time starts now.

[D]

Okay, first of all, all the characters in Frozen seemed extremely happy to be in the snow. So I don't buy this that they were miserable harvesting ice and refrigerators as harmonious. They're total environmental nightmares. I mean, we finally figured out that the refrigerants were destroying the ozone layer, and then what do we do? We switch them to chemicals that are massive emitters of greenhouse gases. And I'm sorry, I mean, everybody likes strawberries at the wrong time of year. But you know what that means? That means they're transporting strawberries from the other side of the planet to terrible for the earth. Why can't we just go back to storing our food underground like in the old days?

[A]

I have a feeling you have more to say, Jill.

[D]

I could have kept going.

[C]

Time's up.

[A]

Time's up.

[C]

Time's up.

[D]

Time's up.

[A]

Well, Jill, it's your turn. We want to know why toilets deserve the throne. Let's hear it.

[D]

Let's start by closing our eyes and taking a deep breath. And on the exhale, flush out any negative feelings you might have about toilets. Now imagine the perfect setting for doing the do. Maybe you're in an outhouse overlooking a meadow bursting with flowers. Or maybe you're in your own comfortable, cozy bathroom. Just acknowledge the sound of your sibling pounding on the door and let it go. Now that you're in the right frame of mind, let's hunker down. My goal here is not to convince you that toilets are beautiful, though some are. Or that you should snuggle up with a stuffed toilet at night. Although that could be cute. What I am going to show you is how toilets are critical to the evolution of human society and how toilets can help us stay clean, smell good, and live healthier, happier lives. Toilets, unlike those Upstart refrigerators have been around for about 5,000 years. Ancient toilet remains have been found all over the world in the uk, The Mediterranean, the Middle east and South Asia. But perhaps the biggest toilet fans of all were the ancient Romans. They were famous for their advanced sewer system. They even had a sewer goddess.

[C]

They call me Coacina, goddess of the great sewer.

[D]

And by around the first century bce, nearly all Roman city dwellers had private bathrooms in their homes. They even had public bathrooms. But life was still pretty stinky. The bathrooms in people's homes were just holes in the ground. And sometimes there were fart fires in the public bathrooms. That's right, the gas that comes out of our bums is flammable. The whole toilet concept still needed some work. Fast forward to the 17 and 1800s, and a patchwork of European inventors produced a version of the toilet that's pretty close to what we use today in the United States.

[A]

So we have, you know, Alexander Cummings,

[C]

he's the guy that actually created that,

[A]

that piping in the back that curves. We call it the S curve or the U bend.

[D]

That's Kim Worsham. She runs an organization called Flush that educates people about toilets and hygiene.

[A]

At the time, he wanted to make it so that those noxious fumes couldn't

[C]

get back into your room because that smelled bad.

[A]

But also slightly dangerous to have really flammable gas from the sewer system or

[C]

from your poo rather, getting back into your house.

[D]

So if you like avoiding fart fires and not smelling poo gas, thank Alexander Cummings. Toilets have come a long way since the early Roman days. In addition to Mr. Cummings s curve, you can now get toilets that play FM radio, give your rump a massage and double as a nightlight. Do refrigerators do any of that? No, they're just cold ice cube spitting closets. I'd take a bottom massage in a clean smelling city over fresh lettuce any day. Plus there are plenty of delicious foods that don't need to be refrigerated. Cereal, apples, cookies, beans. But life without toilets stinks. Thankfully, these days, most modern towns and cities have tons of toilets that flush everybody's waste into sewers that lead to water treatment plants. There, beneficial bacteria eat up the poop and form sludge. The sludge is separated from the water, which is disinfected and sent back to a river or lake or even back to your tap. For example, Orange County, California, where I live, has one of the most advanced wastewater purification systems in the world and produces some of the highest quality tap water. In the country, I happen to drink it every day. But Even now in 2021, 2 billion people don't even have access to toilets. That's about one in four people on Earth. Because of this lack of proper sanitation, many people today are subject to diseases that can be transmitted through poop, like cholera, typhoid, hepatitis, polio, and cryptosporidiosis. I don't know what that last one is, but it sounds scary. That's why nonprofits like Soil in Haiti are so important. Soil distributes a kind of portable potty to people living in neighborhoods without sanitation. Workers clean them out periodically and turn the poop into rich organic compost. Scientists have even figured out that high temperature and pressure can turn sewage into, get this jet fuel. You can take the sewage sewage, and

[C]

you can make airplanes fly,

[D]

which I think is really cool. That's Chelsea Wald. She recently wrote a book about the future of the toilet. And she says some entrepreneurs are also now marketing toilets as medical devices.

[C]

It could be in your home, it

[D]

could be in the hospital, and it

[C]

could monitor the health of people's pee

[D]

and poo and warn them if there is a problem. Now that's cool. Actually, nah. Cool is for refrigerators.

[A]

Toilets are hot. A very refreshing argument for these essential appliances. Monty, what stood out to you in Jill's declaration of greatness?

[B]

I also thought Jill was very persuasive. She also talked about things that I hadn't even thought about. I thought it was very interesting that sewage could be used for jet fuel even, and that toilets can even monitor your health via your waste.

[A]

Very interesting.

[D]

What refrigerator does that?

[A]

Well, Nora, let's hear your 30 second rebuttal. It's time to freeze out the competition. Your time starts now.

[C]

First of all, toilets, wastewater, even the modern ones, use 1.6 gallons per flush, which is a lot. It all adds up. When you're flushing, you're flushing, you're flushing. We also already have food deserts in America. Nutritional inequity is a huge issue that would only be made worse in a world without refrigerators. Plus, you can poop anywhere. Waste could actually be used as a fertilizer. Finally, at some point, you're just pooping in your house. Isn't that gross? Like to poop in your house, I mean. And if you've ever had a toilet backup, you know that when your fridge breaks down. Eh, Toilet breaks down.

[A]

And time.

[D]

Yeah. I'd just like to point out that refrigerators don't work when the electricity is out, but toilets do. I mean, what do you really need in a disaster here. Come on.

[C]

A bucket. Oh.

[A]

You know, this is a really, really tough debate. Both seem so important in our lives. So, Monty, it's time to award your first two points. You're going to award one point for your favorite declaration of greatness and the other point for your favorite rebuttal. You get to decide what criteria you use to award the points. It's completely up to you. Completely subjective. Mark down both points, but don't tell us which side you're voting for. Have you made your decision?

[B]

I have.

[C]

Awesome.

[A]

Jill and Nora, how are you feeling about this feisty fixture face off so far?

[C]

I am feeling so relieved. I never did debate before because I feel like my brain is far too chaotic for this format.

[D]

Oh, I feel good. I mean, no offense, Nora, but I feel like any love Monty might have had for refrigerators is on very thin ice at this point.

[C]

All right, well, and also the pun, the punt. Do you think that I've come up with any. No, no. All right. No. The only thing that I could think of, Monty, is that, you know, a fridge has never made your legs fall asleep because you sat on it too long like Candy crush. Okay.

[D]

Is that a thing?

[A]

Well, it's time for a quick break. Grab an ice cold snack or take a quick potty break.

[B]

And we'll be right back with more smashboom vets.

[C]

You're watching State of debate. Home to rage and rhetoric and awe inspiring argumentation.

[A]

Is not.

[D]

Is so.

[A]

Is not.

[D]

Is so.

[E]

Hello listeners. I'm Todd Douglas here with Taylor Lincoln and we have a special one for you today.

[D]

We are coming in live from the pantry in my parents kitchen. My parents have been going back and forth about which is better, butter or margarine.

[C]

And it's hilarious.

[E]

We are watching as a debate unfolds right before our eyes.

[A]

Butter is way better than margarine because it's from a cow. We don't even know where margarine comes from.

[E]

Margarine is from the earth. Plant based oils. What's healthier than that?

[A]

Well, my mother always cooked with butter. That's why everything has a great taste.

[E]

Well, if you want my opinion on your mother. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Time out. Go to your corners.

[D]

Dad, were you about to insult grandma?

[E]

Well, I. Oh, that would have been

[D]

an ad hominem attack.

[E]

An ad hominem attack is when you insult your opponent and it is a big debate. No, no, if you'd said something bad, it probably would have landed you on the couch for a week or two.

[D]

Yeah, like whenever Todd and I disagree. We try to see the issue from different perspectives.

[E]

Like when Taylor came back from winning the debate cup and flaunted it all over.

[D]

I didn't.

[C]

Flaunt?

[E]

What do you mean you flaunted? You flaunted so hard you were the queen of Flauntopolis wearing a new flaunt gown on your way to the annual flaunt gala.

[D]

I was proud of myself for making a huge achievement. It's natural to be jealous.

[E]

I'm not jealous.

[A]

Time out.

[E]

Time out. Both of you are fantastic debaters, and

[A]

you've been debating together for so long, you should be proud of each other.

[E]

Your mom is right. Taylor, honey, I'm sorry. I almost made a comment about your mother. I love her buttery scones.

[A]

I understand. Now that I think about it, margarine really does have some benefits.

[E]

I love you so much, Cookie.

[A]

I love you too, honey biscuit.

[D]

I'm gonna vomit.

[E]

Let's spare our audience that. Don't make personal attacks on your opponent's

[D]

debate heads or friends or partners, as that's called an ad hominem attack.

[E]

And we'll catch you next time on State of Debate. Smash.

[A]

Boom.

[C]

Best.

[A]

You're listening to smashboom. Best. I'm your host, Molly Bloom.

[B]

And I'm your judge, Monte.

[A]

One of my favorite things about this show is all the amazing debate ideas we get from listeners like you. Check out this awesome debate suggestion from Sage in Albuquerque, New Mexico. My debate idea is carbon versus oxygen.

[B]

Ooh, an elemental debate.

[A]

We'll check back with Sage at the end of this episode to see which side he thinks should win.

[B]

And now it's back to our debate of the day. Refrigerators versus toilets.

[A]

That's right. And it's time for round two, the micro round. Today's micro round is YouTube star Nora and Jill. We've asked you to invent a YouTube star inspired by your side. What's your fabulous influencer energy all about? Jill, you're up first. Give us your hottest take as a squeaky clean toilet queen.

[D]

Hello, all my fabulous fleshers out there. Welcome to the Patty Potty Show, A show about toilets for toilets by toilets. I'm your wc, Patty. And today joining us all the way from Boise is Dun dun dun Dun. Lily Liu.

[C]

Hello, everyone. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for having me on your show, Patty. You know I am a huge fan of your work.

[D]

Likewise, Lily. Now, as you all can see, Lily is a top of the line body with a heated seat built in deodorizer and nightlight. Ugh, I'm so jealous.

[C]

You know what they say. The water is always cleaner in the other bowl.

[D]

So true, Lily. And now onto today's potty tip. Never, ever flush cat litter down the drain. It can clog your pipes. And cat poop has parasites that can hurt other humans in the environment.

[C]

In fact, the only things you should flush are the three P's. Pee, poop and paper.

[D]

So was. And now onto today's unboxing. Can I get a whoosh? This is the latest from the company Pootopia. Their products are just brilliant. And let's see. Omg. It's a glitter studded exfoliating toilet brush. It has a motorized head that gently exfoliates your bowl.

[C]

That'll make your porcelain shine even brighter. Patty.

[D]

Omg. This is amazing. I can't wait to try it out. Well, that's all for this week's patty potty show. You won't want to miss next week when we'll be making a DIY alarm system that goes off when someone doesn't flush. Ugh. So annoying. Tell me about your most annoying toilet problems in the comment section. And check out all my signature patty potty [e-mail]. bye.

[C]

Bye. Now.

[A]

I'm wondering if my toilet wants to be exfoliated.

[D]

It probably does.

[A]

All right, Nora, it's time to take us to the chill zone.

[C]

Welcome back, fridge fam. If you came here to chill out, well, you're in the right place. Let's cool down with some soothing asmr. I'm here with my fridge, Big Freezy. I already feel cool as a cucumber. Let's take a peek, shall we? This is my ever growing collection of condiments. We've got kimchi, Dijon mustard and chipotle bbq. I've got a whole world right in my fridge. Sure, there's only an ounce left in those containers, but I like to think of the glasses as half full. Plus they sound so nice. Oh, and we can't forget about last night's burrito. Without fridges, like Big Freezy, leftovers would cease to exist. Can you imagine? Oh, man. It's even better the next day. What's your favorite leftover comment below. And today, when it's so hot out, there's nothing better than an ice cold pup. First the ice. Next, a crisp diet Coke. So refreshing. That's all we have for today. Thanks again to Big Freezy. My day one. Subscribe to become a part of the Fridge fam. Smash that like button if you Want to be cool. And don't forget to hit that bell notification. Otherwise you're lukewarm.

[A]

I could listen to that all day. Monte, what stood out to you about our debaters micro rounds?

[B]

Well, I liked that Jill had her toilet have a built in deodorizer. I will say that, Nora, I. I thought the ASMR was a little too loud for my taste. And the chewing of the burrito was kind of gross. But I loved your condiment selection. And I will say I. I love leftovers.

[A]

Leftovers are key. All right, well, it's time to award a point to your favorite influencer. But don't tell us who you're voting for. Have you awarded your point? I have. Excellent. Then it's time for our third round. The super stealthy sneak attack. Our sneak attack today is superfan Nora and Jill. We want you to make up a chant for your side's sports team. Okay? Tell us why your side is the best. Does that make sense?

[B]

Mm.

[A]

Mm. Yes. Okay, well, we'll listen to some hold music while you channel your inner fam feeling.

[C]

Hangry.

[B]

Chill out. Be cool. Your fridge is filled with ice cold fuel.

[C]

Snack attack.

[B]

Fridges make me drool.

[C]

When you gotta go number two, it's time to relax on the loo. A quiet place to contemplate your poo.

[A]

All right, well, Jill went first last time, so Nora, you're up. Give us your chill cheer for team fridge.

[C]

All right, you ready? Here we go. L e t s G O S T a y Cold SD I'm not. I'm not talented.

[A]

This.

[C]

My cousin was a cheerleader, but I was cheerleader adjacent.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

L e t s Go S t a y Cold. L e t S Go. S t a y cold. Fridges forever. Toilets never. Fridges forever. Toilets never. L e t s Go S t a y Cold. L e t S Go S t a y Cold.

[A]

Ooh, I like the dynamics there.

[C]

Oh, thank you. You know, it's a key component of cheer that you have. You really gotta switch it up. I love it.

[A]

Catchy. It's in my brain. I could do that at a game. I could totally do that. Okay, Jill, time for team toilet to bowl us over with four lines of fl.

[D]

All right, here we go. T o I L e t s Flushing potties are the best in your house or over a bridge. We don't need no stinking fridge. Toilets, toilets, toilets are the best.

[C]

I do not want a bridge toilet.

[D]

That was just a nod to people who might not have a toilet in their house. Not Everybody has a toilet in their house around the world. You know, they might have to go over to a bridge to get to the communal toilets.

[C]

Oh, I thought you meant like, literally. Here's a toilet on a bridge. Don't go under or you will. Or who knows what will happen.

[A]

These are both very catchy. Cheers. Monty, what did you enjoy most?

[B]

I liked that Jill's was a little more sing songy. But I also liked Nora's a lot because she was a little more blocky with her letters.

[A]

Both had excellent style. Well, it's time to award that point. The criteria again is up to you. Which one is easier to remember? Which one got you up off your chair? Up to you award that point. Have you done it?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay, well, it's time for our last round, the final six. You have just six more words to sway our judge. Jill, you're up. Make us flush with your final six toilets.

[D]

Without them, life would stink.

[A]

Excellent work. Okay, Nora, your turn. Cool us off with your final six for fridges.

[C]

Fridges. Because warm food isn't cool.

[A]

Hmm. Very good. Alright, we filled up at the fridge. We've relaxed in the lavatory and learned a whole lot about S curves and coils. But it's time to crown one of these household fixtures. The smash boom best. The one that drains or the one that contains. Monty, Please award your final point.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Have you identified a winner?

[B]

I have.

[A]

Okay, I'm a little nervous, but pretty soon this will all be water under the fridge. Okay, drum roll please. And the winner is.

[B]

Toilets.

[D]

Woosh woosh. Toilets for the win.

[C]

I'm sorry, I think I misheard you. I think this is where I tell everybody I'm a bad loser.

[A]

Okay, it was very close.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What decided it for you? Was there a moment that really just.

[C]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Swayed you over for toilets?

[B]

Well, I liked Nora's declaration of greatness more, but I liked Jill's rebuttal better. And then I voted for Jill in the micro round and in the sneak attack.

[A]

Very good. Wow.

[C]

Okay. I'm so glad this isn't live because I would be making a grand exit. I would flip this table. But unfortunately, there is no table where I am because I'm in a closet. Okay, Monty, enjoy your youth. Someday you'll be a middle aged woman in a closet. Okay, losing a debate about fridges and toilets.

[D]

It's a little hot in my closet right now, so I was. I found myself craving a glass of ice water. Not gonna lie, Jill.

[C]

You are a formidable opponent. And I didn't have a Prayer. Jill. I did not. I didn't have a. I didn't have an ice cube's chance in a toilet against you. I just didn't.

[A]

Well, that's it for today's debate battle. Monty Crown toilets, the Smashboom best. But what about you?

[B]

Head to smashboom.org and vote to tell us who you think the winner is.

[A]

Smashboom Best is brought to you by Brains on and American Public Media.

[C]

Smashboom Best is produced by Rosie Dupont, Sandon Totten, Ruby Guthrie and Molly Bloom.

[D]

We had engineering help from Alexander Simpson and Cosmo Rossi.

[C]

And we had production help from Christina Lopez, Mark Sanchez and Maneka Wilhelm.

[A]

Rosie Dupont is the voice of our hold music and our announcer is Marley foyer worker Otto. We want to give a special thanks to Austin Cross, Taylor Kaufman, Shoshanna Cohen from White Center Heights elementary School, and Chelsea Olson from Raisbeck Aviation High School. Jill, is there anyone you want to thank today?

[D]

Yeah, I want to thank Chelsea Wald. Her excellent new book, Pipe Dreams is a must read for anyone who wants to know more about the future of toilets. Also, Kim Worsham from Flush. And finally, my kids Emilio and Lola, who put up with all my bad toilet jokes and puns, even though they would have much rather I was debating for something like superheroes or skateboards.

[A]

And how about you, Nora? Any shout outs today?

[C]

I mean, I wanted to give a shout out to my fridge. It is. It is old, it is infirm, it is doing its best. And Molly, when you said water under the fridge, I flinched. We do have water under our fridge. Okay. All right. And big shout out to my kids who love this show. Ralphie and Babe. They are probably listening. And if they could, I would love to urge both of these humans to flush the toilet.

[A]

Monty, do you want to give any special thanks today?

[D]

Yes.

[B]

I'd like to thank Chelsea Olson for making me aware of this opportunity and Rosie Dupont for making it possible for me to be here today judging this debate and my mom for driving me to the studio. Thank you all.

[A]

Thank you, Monty, for being here. And before we go, let's hear who Sage thinks should win in his carbon versus oxygen debate.

[C]

I think carbon would win because carbon

[A]

is the backbone of life and created first. Can't argue with that. Do you have an idea for a knockdown drag out debate? Head to smashboom.org and tell us about it. We'll be back with a new debate battle next week.

[B]

Tata.

[C]

Smell you later.

[A]

Better than the rest.

[D]

It's smash.

[A]

Nora, what did you enjoy about Jill's debate today.

[C]

I didn't enjoy it.

[D]

Sportsmanship. Hello.