Smash Boom Best: "Venom vs. Claws"

Podcast: Smash Boom Best
Host: Molly Bloom
Debaters: Tom Weber (Team Venom), Brandi Brown (Team Claws)
Judge: Maddie
Date: July 31, 2019
Episode Length: ~35 mins

Episode Overview

This lively and hilarious episode of Smash Boom Best—the debate show where two “cool things” face off—puts two of the animal kingdom’s fiercest features in the ring: Venom vs. Claws. With kid judge Maddie presiding, debaters Tom Weber and Brandi Brown go all out, using facts, wit, and personal stories to persuade listeners which wild weapon is best. The show encourages playful argument and critical thinking for the whole family.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Opening & Introductions (00:00 - 03:02)

• Host Molly Bloom sets the scene for an epic showdown between animal super-weapons: “the weaponry of the wild” (00:12).
• Judge Maddie shares her honest biases and personal pet experiences (dogs and cats with claws, no venomous pets).
• The episode rules and debate structure are explained: Declaration of Greatness, Micro Round, Sneak Attack, Final Six Words—and a secret scorecard.

Round 1: Declarations of Greatness (04:14 - 15:27)

Team Claws—Brandi Brown

• Expert Input: Brandi calls a zookeeper, Michelle O’Brien, who declares, “in my professional opinion, claws are better than venom” (04:28).
• Arguments:
  • Claws let you keep distance from danger and don’t run out or need time to regenerate (unlike venom).
  • Claws have versatile uses: hunting (“Giant anteaters use their 4-inch claws to dig into anthills”), mobility (cheetahs’ claws grip ground), and climbing (the famous raccoon scales a 25-story building).
  • Claws can intimidate and wound, slowing prey or deterring attackers.
  • Role in self-care and beauty: grooming claws in primates, ornamentation in crabs.
  • Critique of venom: Many venomous animals (like jellyfish) are otherwise weak or unremarkable.
• Memorable moment:
  • “Claws ain’t no party like a claw party, ‘cause boring venomous blobs are not on the guest list.” (08:15)
• Judged by Maddie: Most persuasive part? Expert backup. “It lent some gravitas to your argument.” (09:07)

Team Venom—Tom Weber

• Personal story: Encounter with a rattlesnake at Joshua Tree (10:09).
• Arguments:
  • Venom works with “surgical precision”—delivered by fangs, claws, or stingers for offense and defense.
  • Venom acts quickly and can be specialized (slows heartbeat, breaks down blood vessels, helps digestion).
  • More than snakes: spiders, jellyfish, scorpions, some lizards, bees, wasps—and even male platypuses!
  • Some animals use claws to inject venom (e.g., certain lizards).
  • Medicinal uses: Many antivenoms and even blood pressure medications derive from venom. Research is ongoing (e.g., platypus venom for diabetes).
• Memorable moment:
  • “Venom is best appreciated from afar. Venom, I salute you from over here.” (15:19)
• Judged by Maddie: “I am thoroughly impressed... The only thing I would say is, what about honey badgers?” (15:33)

Rebuttals

• Brandi (15:52): Criticizes the “venom is cool because we make antivenom” as flawed logic. Points out the utility of claws when animals escape and the “multi-tool” nature of claws.
• Tom (09:26): Dismisses claws’ attractiveness (crabs have “big stupid claws,” 09:26), says claws are imprecise and pets with claws scratch you, while venom is exact.

Round 2: Micro Round — “Here’s to You” Toasts (20:10 - 24:02)

Venom’s Toast (Tom)

• As “best man” at a rattlesnake wedding: tells stories of rattlesnake misadventures, celebrates venom’s life-giving potential, and toasts: “May the things you kill only be other species.” (21:53)

Claws’ Toast (Brandi)

• In the style of a workplace toast, praises claws’ innovation and versatility—helping at company picnics and opening packages, and highlights claws’ inspirational potential: “raise a glass of honey lemonade made with honey harvested from a tree by the sharp claws of a bear… and toast our newest senior vice president of animal things, claws, and its junior executive assistant, venom.” (24:02)

Round 3: Sneak Attack — Acrostic Poem Challenge (24:26 - 26:28)

Debaters must spontaneously create acrostic poems spelling out their “side.”

• Claws (Brandi):

  • “C—Can do all sorts of things. L—Less energy to use. A—Always there when you need them. W—Wounds, because sometimes you’re not trying to kill. S—Species don’t evolve to tolerate claws.” (25:37)

• Venom (Tom):

  • “V—Very toxic. E—Exacting. N—Not claws. O—Offensive, defensive. M—Medicine maker.” (26:02)

Round 4: Final Six (27:09 - 27:33)

Each debater delivers their entire argument in just six words.

• Venom (Tom): “Often deadly, can also save lives.” (27:15)
• Claws (Brandi): “Claws. The life-saving multitool you need.” (27:28)

Tie-Breaker: Fashion Line Showdown (Style Sense) (28:09 - 31:47)

Judge Maddie declares a tie! Both must describe a fashion line based on their side.

• Claws (Brandi):

  • Brand name: “Slice, Dice, Scratch, Swipe.” Outfits feature scratch marks, animal claw motifs, species-specific slogans (“honey badger not bothered right now”), and accessories themed after different clawed animals.
  • “It’s just any animal that has claws.” (28:48)

• Venom (Tom):

  • Fashion line: “Venomous.” A striking single outfit: spider-like furry shoelaces; multi-layered leather ankle bracelets; diamond viper print shirts; helmet with venom-filled jars and a straw shaped like a fang/claw/stinger; necklace with antivenom “just in case.”
  • “This becomes a huge science experiment... around your neck, you’ll have a necklace that has a vial of antivenom, just in case.” (31:13)

Judgment & Results

• Winner: Venom (Judge Maddie) — thanks to a bold, dangerous, and humorous “science experiment” fashion outfit.
• Notable Quote:
  • Maddie on the spider shoelaces: “Spiders aren’t venomous, so that’s not really like… I have a lot of complaints. I have a whole spinoff podcast called Rebuttal to this entire…” (32:05)
• Both debaters praise each other’s humor and creativity.

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “Venom is awesomely deadly and also helpful.” —Tom Weber (02:26)
• “Claws ain’t no party like a claw party, ‘cause boring venomous blobs are not on the guest list.” —Brandi Brown (08:15)
• “Venom is best appreciated from afar. Venom, I salute you from over here.” —Tom Weber (15:19)
• “Claws. The life-saving multitool you need.” —Brandi Brown (27:28)
• “Often deadly, can also save lives.” —Tom Weber (27:15)
• “May the things you kill only be other species.” —Tom Weber as a rattlesnake (21:51)
• Maddie: “It’s a tie.” (27:50)
  Drama ensues as the tiebreaker is initiated!

Additional Highlights

• Educational Moments:

  • Antivenom (how it’s produced, 14:09)
  • Multifunctionality of animal features (climbing, grooming, hunting)
  • Venom in medicine (batroxoban for blood clots, platypus venom for diabetes)

• Humor & Engagement:

  • Both debaters infuse their arguments with jokes, sketches, and creative storytelling.
  • The show’s playful tone encourages listeners to think critically, spot logical fallacies, and debate at home.

Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:07 – Host and judge introductions
• 03:02 – Rounds/explanation of structure
• 04:14 – Declaration of Greatness: Claws
• 09:26 – Rebuttal: Venom
• 10:09 – Declaration of Greatness: Venom
• 15:52 – Rebuttal: Claws
• 20:10 – Micro round (toasts)
• 24:26 – Sneak attack/acrostic poems
• 27:09 – Final six-word statements
• 27:50 – It’s a tie! Tiebreaker announced
• 28:09 – Fashion line runoff (Style Sense)
• 31:47 – Final decision: Venom wins

Conclusion

Smash Boom Best delivers a fun and informative debate full of animal facts, jokes, and epic showdowns. This “Venom vs. Claws” episode spotlights the versatility and danger of two animal superpowers, ultimately crowning Venom the winner—but not without fierce (and funny) competition. Kids and families are left encouraged to keep thinking, debating, and voting for themselves!

Vote for your favorite at smashboom.org!