#116 - Let's Read Some Scary Stories

Summary

Smosh Mouth Podcast #116 – "Let's Read Some Scary Stories"

October 27, 2025
Hosted by Shayne Topp (A), Damien Haas (B), and guest Courtney Miller (C)

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Episode Overview

In this Halloween-themed episode, Shayne, Damien, and Courtney gather to share and react to scary stories, both personal and from the internet. Along the way, they discuss their relationships with fear, haunted houses, costumes, and the inherently creepy aspects of everyday life and technology. The trio's banter is playful, self-deprecating, and honest, with an overarching theme of what truly scares them—whether it's jump scares, ominous unknowns, or the existential dread found in modern life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Spooking and Being Spooked – Halloween Traditions

• Courtney’s Love of Scaring People
  • Courtney recounts scaring coworkers, and the group ponders alternate careers as a scare actor or horror film actor.
    • “My purpose in life is to emotionally impact people. And so, like, that’s just like a really quick one, for sure.” – Courtney [00:52]
• Halloween Horror Nights Experiences
  • The hosts discuss VIP vs. general admission, the anxiety of crowds, and their jadedness after years of filming content at exclusive events.
  • "I love Horror Nights, but I feel like a blood cell in a clot—it's so crowded." – Courtney [02:10]

2. Halloween Plans and Costume Woes

• Costume Planning
  • The group laments the challenge of planning for multiple events.
  • Courtney reuses her "Weird Barbie" (Kate McKinnon) costume, Shayne admits to last-minute decisions, and Damien reminisces about being Astarion from Baldur’s Gate.
  • “Anything I need a costume for, that’s going to be that for the year.” – Damien [05:46]
• Comic and Game Characters as Costumes
  • Brief talk about Mortal Kombat characters and how hair and appearance can dictate the costume decision.

3. Haunted Attractions, Real Hauntings, and Personal Fears

• Frightening Events
  • Damien expresses his discomfort with haunted houses and crowded places, more for the crowds than the monsters.
  • Shayne and Courtney discuss the psychological side of fear—being more scared of eerie, subtle horror over cheap jump scares.
    • "I like being creeped out in, like, paranormal ways... where fascination and fear meet.” – Shayne [08:25]
• Courtney’s Real-Life Haunting Experience
  • Courtney details feeling a "hot, wet breath" on her neck in the Smosh studio, followed by a colleague having their necklace pulled—odd occurrences attributed to possible hauntings.
    • “It was a hot breath, like, you know that feeling, and that was like... that's my first time having that.” – Courtney [23:04]

4. Reading Internet Scary Stories

• Reddit Horror: The Infinite Space Goat & Haunted Hotel Room
  • Shayne reads chilling stories submitted by listeners or found on Reddit:
    • TV and computers turning on by themselves and playing disturbing content, especially when animals react (dogs and cats sensing paranormal events).
    • A hotel room where a murder occurred containing mysterious "help me" notes under a door—revealed to be a worker trapped inside.
      • “See, that stuff is scarier to me because it’s like, what if no one comes? What if you just get locked in a room and no one checks and you’re just gone?” – Damien [25:41]

5. Favorite Types of Scary Stories & SCP Foundation Deep-Dive

• SCP Foundation Explained
  • Shayne introduces the SCP Foundation: a collaborative online collection of faux case files describing paranormal entities and phenomena.
    • The group listens as Shayne reads about SCP-1733—a recorded basketball game where every replay causes the people in the recording to become more aware they're in a looping video, devolving into chaos over time.
      • “If you play [the recording] a hundred times, everybody in that recording has lived through that a hundred times.” – Shayne [30:48]
  • Cosmic and Analog Horror
    • The discussion shifts to cosmic and analog horror—stories with unknowable or reality-bending threats.
    • Creepypasta and indie horror games are highlighted, especially those that evoke unease by messing with electronics or media.

6. A List of Everyday Scares

• Courtney’s Personal List of Fears
  • Courtney shares a list of things that scare her, from whimsical to existential:
    • Waiting in a paper gown at the doctor [38:10]
    • Her cat’s sudden, loud “hellooo” at night [39:11]
    • Cybertruck trunks closing on people [40:39]
    • LA's underground subway systems [41:55]
    • Subway sandwiches (“They’re just cold in there.”) [43:22]
    • Fear of being abandoned by friends [44:02]
    • Getting a bag snatched (which almost happened to her) [44:29]
    • Cars and trucks—catalytic converters getting stolen, haunted cars (Stephen King's "Christine") [46:46 & 47:46]
    • Foods that never expire [48:33]
    • Data centers and techno-horrors like brain organoids [49:20]
    • Employees Only doors, unused or blocked-off doors, crawl spaces [54:25]
    • Furniture or stairs in strange places, like a full living room setup in the middle of a forest [56:00]
    • Matt Rife as legal guardian of the Annabelle doll [56:54]
    • The eerie feeling of being or seeing someone in a window, especially at night [59:54]
    • Teenagers (the group agrees: “Teenagers scare the living shit out of me.”) [62:03]
    • Being stuck (e.g., cave diving videos) [62:22]
    • Deep ocean or thalassophobia [66:05]
    • Uncanny tech glitches (e.g., Pokémon "MissingNo." glitches) [67:52]

7. Tech Horror, Creepypasta, and Existential Dread

• Modern vs. Supernatural Fears
  • The group debates what’s scarier: ghosts/demons or the unpredictable nature of modern technology, AI, and data privacy.
    • "No, we're unfortunately, like, I'm not scared of ghosts much anymore because we're entering sci-fi horror." – Shayne [49:20]
    • Brain organoids and the unknowable futures of digital technology become an almost comedic, but real, sticking point of fear.

8. The Power of Imagination

• Why the Unknown is Scariest
  • The most haunting and memorable stories, films, and games are the ones where not everything is explained or fully visible.
    • “Seeing just a little bit of something is really scary... When you only see [part of it], it’s really scary. But if you see the whole thing, you’re like, all right." – Shayne [58:55]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Courtney on Emotional Impact:
  “My purpose in life is to emotionally impact people. And so, like, that’s just like a really quick one, for sure.” [00:52]

• On Crowds at Horror Nights:
  "I feel like a blood cell in a clot—it's so crowded." – Courtney [02:10]

• On What Scares Shayne:
  “I like being creeped out in, like, paranormal ways... where fascination and fear meet.” – Shayne [08:25]

• On Animal Reactions to Haunted Events:
  “If we can tell our cats aren’t freaking out about something... so, like to know that those dogs, it’s like, oh, you’re hearing it too.” – Courtney [16:59]

• On Doors with “Employees Only” Signs:
  “There’s an energy pushing me away when I see those.” – Courtney [54:31]

• On the True Modern Horror:
  “I’m not scared of ghosts much anymore because we’re entering sci-fi horror.” – Shayne [49:20]

• On Why Analog Horror Works:
  “The most haunting stories are when not everything is explained or visible.” – Shayne [58:55]

• Teenagers:
  “Teenagers scare the living shit out of me.” – My Chemical Romance, cited approvingly by hosts [62:03]

• Concluding Gag after a scare:
  “Sorry if I scared you.” – Courtney
  “You did scare me, actually.” – Shayne [71:44]

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• [00:25] – Courtney introduces her love of scaring people
• [01:41] – Discussion of Halloween Horror Nights and fear of crowds
• [03:41] – Halloween costume talk and party planning
• [06:17] – Recapping haunted attraction experiences, haunted ship story
• [08:02] – Fear vs. fascination, paranormal vs. jump scare philosophy
• [12:22] – Different childhood coping mechanisms for fear (singing, befriending monsters)
• [15:19] – First Reddit scary story ("Infinite Space Goat" – computer turns on by itself)
• [23:04] – Courtney’s real-life haunting at the Smosh studio (hot breath, necklace incident)
• [25:41] – Second Reddit story: maintenance worker trapped in haunted hotel room
• [26:16] – Introduction & reading of SCP Foundation “basketball game in a time loop” story
• [38:07] – Courtney’s personal list of strange and silly fears
• [44:29] – Real-life bag snatching attempt and street smarts
• [46:51] – Story of Shayne’s car airbag being surgically stolen
• [54:25] – "Employees Only" and creepy, unused doors
• [56:00] – Furniture and stairs in the woods: “off” placements as horror
• [56:54] – Matt Rife now legally responsible for Annabelle the doll
• [59:54] – Fear of seeing (or being) someone standing still in a window
• [62:22] – Claustrophobia and cave diving horrors
• [66:05] – Thalassophobia and deep sea dread
• [67:52] – Tech glitches in games and real-life analog horror
• [70:07] – “Doom House Wad” and the horror of unknown internet creations
• [71:13] – Wind-down and reflection on how truly scared they are

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Real-Life Comedic/Spooky Exchanges

• Courtney's Cat Birdie Making Haunted Noises:
  “We hear hell. Hello. That. Just like that. Terrifying.” – Courtney [39:11]
• Joking about Haunted Cars:
  “I’ve never heard of a haunted car.” – Shayne
  “Stephen King wrote a book about one.” – Damien [47:46]
• On the “hot dog theory” of safety:
  “I feel like nothing can go wrong when I’m holding a hot dog... You would never attack someone holding a hot dog.” – Courtney [58:15]
• Classic Smosh Energy:
  *“I pooped my pants.” – Shayne
  “I should have been peed.” – Damien [71:50]

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Overall Tone and Takeaways

• The hosts keep the conversation spirited and accessible—even their creepiest stories and references have a comic undercurrent, poking fun at themselves and the world.
• There’s a nostalgia for classic haunted house scares but a clear-eyed dread about modern electronic and technological horrors.
• The episode cycles between personal vulnerability (“Are my friends waiting to leave me?”), absurdity (Subway sandwiches), and deep dives into horror lore (SCPs, analog horror).
• Listeners both laugh and empathize, experiencing both second-hand chills and the comfort of communal commiseration about the things that go bump in the night—and in our heads.

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For anyone who hasn’t listened, this episode is an entertaining blend of stories, comedy, existential dread, and friendship, perfect for Halloween or whenever you’re in the mood to explore what it means to be truly, deeply creeped out—on the wild spectrum between a haunted cat and a haunted hard drive.

Transcript

[A]

Hello, welcome to Smoshmouth. I'm Shane.

[B]

And I'm Damien Hoss. And joining us today is.

[A]

Courtney.

[B]

Courtney.

[A]

Oh, Jesus.

[B]

You straight up got me.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

That's something you do year round.

[C]

Spook people, scare people, startle people.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, you do it.

[B]

Is that right?

[C]

I recently got. Who did I get recently?

[A]

You got Dina, one of our sound people really bad once, and we weren't even recording. You just. You just snuck up on her and scared her.

[C]

She was just in her own world. She was handling a C stand or.

[A]

Something and handling something heavy.

[C]

She's doing a job sharp. She shrieked. And then I got Angela. That's a meme now. Yeah, I like doing that.

[B]

It's fun. It's a fun thing to do.

[C]

It's like the easiest way to, like, my purpose in life is to, like, emotionally impact people. And so, like, that's just like a really quick one for sure.

[A]

Get them like that.

[B]

Have you. If there were a different path for you in life and you didn't stumble upon Smosh, do you think there's a scare actor, Courtney? Like, would you be at Hollywean Horror Nights?

[C]

I probably would have loved a job like that. If I wasn't at Smosh. I'd probably be just trying to get so hard into, like, horror films and also just, like, scary. Remember, like, my stock. My scream was crazier than the stock scream at Horror Nights that one year.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

And we were doing those walkthroughs.

[A]

I think you would be a good scare actor. You'd get into it and I think you'd be a polite. Like, you'd be good at it, but you'd be one of the ones that, like, scares people and then runs away.

[B]

Like, I'm sorry, should I do that?

[C]

Should I do that next year? And, like, nobody knows that it's me and I'm in makeup.

[A]

I. We probably.

[B]

It would suck if you, like, pranked me and, like, brought me to Halloween Horror Nights. And then we had to go through.

[C]

And it was scare you into the VIP line.

[B]

So I'm going this coming Sunday. And it's like. It's like, oh, admission is like 70 something dollars. I'm like, that's good. They're like, do you want the express lane, little piggy? Because It's. Because it's $260.

[A]

And I'm like.

[B]

Like, I kind of want to be able to actually experience it, but I also like having $260.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. I think I went with my younger brother. We went with my younger brother a couple of years ago. Just general admission and like I think it's just not worth it. It's like, it's just like it like I love Horror nights. I love it so much. But when I think it was just a really crowded night weekend and I feel like a blood cell in a clot, like, you know what I mean? Like it's so. That's.

[A]

Holy crap.

[C]

And I really am anxious actually. That's like one of my things that I have in my. I brought a list of things that scare me today. Oh, I don't want to get into them yet. Because it's scary, right?

[A]

Yeah, you don't.

[C]

I need to get ease into it.

[A]

I will say Halloween Horror Nights, you know this. Like I struggle with it. Oh yeah. And it's not that I'm scared of the. Like the scary stuff is not even the problem. I'm scared of the crowds. It's too crowded. And I'm like, oh, this is tight little spaces. It's too much. I can't move. That's scary. Like I'm not scared of the. The demons that are running around. Like the demons, the demons. I'm not scared of the demons. Well, you should be. You should be scared of them. I'm not scared of those demons. Man.

[B]

We. I feel like we got spoiled at Smosh. Cuz like the first time I ever went to Halloween Horror Nights was through Smosh. And it was like, all right, we're going to make a video where we get brought back VIP to every maze multiple times. And I'm like, how do you go back?

[A]

Yeah, we did a lot of that. We were at Defy. We got like a lot of those connects and we got to go a lot. It was weird.

[B]

I feel like a lot of things that happened at Defy were kind of like, okay, this would be a cool thing to do on camera. But also we kind of want an.

[A]

Xbox like, you know, so go to Universal.

[C]

Such energy.

[A]

That's true.

[C]

Are you guys doing Halloween costumes this year?

[B]

I'm still trying to figure that out.

[C]

Oh really?

[B]

Yeah, because I'm. I feel like I spend the whole year being like, I can't wait. And then it gets to be time and I'm like, oh, I was so busy I forgot going to be in New Zealand for a con up until like Halloween. So if I don't do it as of like filming this in the next few days, it ain't happening.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

How about you?

[C]

I. I'm bringing back an old one cuz I Didn't get good pictures and content of it. And my hair looks more like Weird Barbie. Weird Barbie. What's her name? The SNL actor played Kate McKinnon. Kate McKinnon played them. My hair looks more like it now. And I just. I loved that costume. It felt very me. We. We were going to try and do Johnny Cage, Johnny Cage and Sonya Blade this year. And even James was going to 3D print the little belt buckle for us for funsies. But, like, I. Sonya Blades, like, her main costume lately is like, cop. And I'm just like, I don't think it's like, guy. I think you as Johnny Cage is so awesome.

[A]

But then, yeah, yeah, he's a guy in clothes with sunglasses, a shiny shirt. There's like. There's this, like, Johnny Cage fit. The, like, insane one, which we got that one.

[B]

Yeah. For the uninitiated, in Mortal Kombat, Johnny Cage is an actor who's also an action star. So he actually shows up in tournaments and he's just like, here, I'll sign this. Take a photo. You know?

[A]

But he's legitimately really good. Yeah, I'm always really bad with. With costumes. I'm really bad about it. I feel like every summer we have the conversation of, like, oh, we should plan something, and then suddenly it's October.

[C]

And I'm like, yeah, we managed to pull together that fun little, like, Blade Runner moment last year, like, just for content. But, yeah, that was fun.

[A]

It's also tough when you. Are you the type when you have multiple events?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you do one costume or do you plan multiple costumes?

[B]

I think mentally I'm like, okay, I can do this for this and that for that. But again, like, when you get so busy, I'm like, we'll be lucky if one happens. You know, like a few years back, I was a Starion from Baldur's Gate, but I had already, like, prepped a cosplay for that. Yeah. So I was like, okay, great. Now it's. Anything I need a costume for, that's going to be that for the year.

[A]

That was when you had the hair. Like, your hair was already.

[C]

I love when the hair lines up with the character that you want to do. Like, I was redheaded with was Anastasia. Like, I relate, I relate.

[B]

And you were bar talk when you had those fangs. Yeah.

[A]

But do you have a lot of plans for Halloween?

[B]

I feel like I'm marathoning things because I love Halloween events. Like, I love going to a place and everyone's like, oh, I hope. I hope I Don't get scared. But then you know you're going to. So, like, Halloween Horror Nights. I love the Queen Mary Dark Harbor.

[A]

I've never done that.

[C]

We only did that for content. Were you there?

[B]

No, I don't think I was.

[A]

This was like, forever ago.

[C]

Oh, I was with the games crew back then, like 2015. Were you there?

[A]

No, I didn't go.

[C]

I'm like, was I there? No, I was there. Yeah. Mari broke her tooth in half.

[A]

How? By a ghost.

[B]

How?

[C]

I don't bit a ghost doing game stuff. They were screwing around.

[B]

They were so funny all the time, those ruffians. Oh, yeah, that one's super. Worth it, I think, to do, like the express thing, because it was my first time last year and there was one maze that I just loved and so I kept going back through and you'd pass the same people in line as you're just like, I'm going again. Goodbye. Like, it feels bad, but also so good.

[C]

Nice. How's the food?

[B]

I didn't do any food while there, honestly.

[A]

And I love food.

[B]

I love an event food. I love going to Disneyland on the rare times I do, and it's just like, oh, Mickey looks like a little pumpkin. I'm like, in my mouth now.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Wait, so the Queen Mary, that's. That's that haunted ship.

[C]

Haunted quote unquote ship.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. Supposedly it's haunted.

[C]

Yeah. When they. When they took the games crew and I there for, like, tours and stuff, like, there's this empty, scary, abandoned pool room, and when you go in there, they actually had a track of, like, just like, eerie music and sounds. And I was like, okay, so, okay.

[A]

I don't want that.

[B]

But then you're like, what's. Why did you play that over the sound system? They're like, sound system?

[A]

Yeah, it's silent in here right now.

[B]

And you're, like, as silent as, I don't know, a hill two. And then.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, that's my issue with, like, when they show haunted things places and then they put scary music behind it. I'm like, well, now this is making my brain think of scary things and feel scared. I'm like, let me see this. Silent in normal lighting, which can be even more scary.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, sometimes.

[A]

Sometimes.

[B]

But sometimes you got to lean into it. Like, do you like being scared?

[A]

No, I'm not like a. Like, I'm not like a person who loves it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But I don't hate it.

[C]

I don't like it.

[A]

You just do it to other people.

[C]

That's my Toxic trait. Sometimes. Okay. I burp. I hate when other people burp. Well, you'd like.

[B]

You like to give.

[C]

Give style.

[A]

What I actually really like because I love reading scary novels. I like being. I like being creeped out in, like, paranormal ways. Right. Like, I love. I love an ominous thing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I love when it's like, ooh, what does that mean? What does this. This does not bode well for this village. You know, like, that. That I love, like, because that fascinates me. And there's like. That's where, like, fascination and scared and fear meet. Whereas, like, jump scare. If I'm with a fun group of people, yes. But otherwise it's not something I seek out. I feel that I love, like, the imagination. So, like, when watching a movie or reading a book or reading a creepypasta, the stuff that I love is the, like, what does this mean?

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know what's going on here? I love that.

[B]

I enjoyed the first half of Weapons for that very same reason.

[C]

Yeah, Yeah. I relate to that.

[A]

Scary movies, typically, when they reveal I'm kinda out.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. They kinda took the air out of. It's just.

[A]

It's just like, oh, so that's what this, like, no matter how scary the.

[C]

Thing is, like, Jaws is such a good movie because you barely see Jaws.

[A]

Right. And that was, I think, a filming issue. The giant mechanical shark, they had sucked so bad, they were like, we can't show this.

[C]

And it worked in their favor.

[A]

Yeah, absolutely did.

[C]

Yeah. I wish they did that with Five Nights at Freddy's because they showed too much of the FNAFs. They showed too much watch the first 20 minutes and then just ditch.

[A]

They just change it up. But that's what makes the game scary.

[C]

They just blow their law too soon.

[A]

You catch a glimpse of something and it's like, whoa, was that chica?

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I do have one problem with haunted houses, which I think you probably saw firsthand when we did that, like, big tour that one time. Oh, I love it so much that I can't stop smiling. And I feel bad for the Scare actors when they're like, Ron. I'm like, yeah. Like, I just. It looks like I'm trying to be like, you can't scare me. But, like, I'm actually just enjoying it.

[C]

I'm sure they. I bet you they like that. They're like, yeah, you're having a good time.

[A]

If you're laughing, that's usually laughing. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's a good response. I think what they probably hate Is all the dudes wearing NFL jerseys who are like, I'm not scared.

[B]

Yeah, that's good. Yeah.

[C]

And then they accidentally behind me.

[B]

I hate that.

[A]

I'm not scared.

[C]

Oh, yeah. The people that just like, just stare and don't smile or anything. So it's like, why are you here?

[B]

I have a mask on now usually when I'm in big public spaces. So I probably just look like.

[C]

Yeah, just. That could be afraid or happy. I can't even tell that's true.

[A]

If I get this, this is embarrassing to admit, but it's a real thing about me. If I actually am going through a haunted maze or sort of thing and I get genuinely scared enough. Scared enough that I'm like, oh, there's monsters. That's when the chosen part of me taps in where it's like. It's like, I'm scared. I'm like, oh, my God, this is scary. And then it's just like, this place is fucked up. I like to tap into that. It was like the thing that I did when I was a little kid when it was like dark, you know, and you have to like, go up to get a glass of water. And I've said this a million times, but, like, I'm going through, like a dark house and I'm scared. I'm just like, I am the darkness. Like, oh, my God. Like, I can no longer be scared because I'm scarier than everything else here.

[C]

I would sing. Oh, yeah. If I had to go through a dark area, I would sing Mormon music.

[B]

Is that what's scaring people? Because that sounds terrifying for me to hear.

[C]

Yeah, I scare them back.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's lovely. For everyone else in that house hearing Mormon music start playing in the middle.

[C]

Of the night, I am a child of God.

[A]

I would be terrified. I'm lighting that house on fire. Like, we are burning this place to the ground.

[C]

I just thought maybe the demons would be like, wow, that's beautiful. I shouldn't.

[A]

Oh, she's Mormon. Wait, oh, did you say child of God?

[B]

We can't be here. We can't be near this.

[A]

She's a letter desi. No.

[C]

Apparently it worked so well.

[A]

So did my I am the darkness. So opposite ends of the spectrum, you know, do anything.

[B]

I kind of befriended those things. I. I told this on Smoshmouth before, but, like, I found a scary clown doll in my attic in the middle of the dark that was like, it's a wind up. One that plays like tinkly music. And it was just doing that on its own when I went up there, and my reaction was, what are you doing up here, little guy? Like, brought it to my room. And I was like, ah, you'll be cool down here. So we got the three different sides of the spectrum.

[A]

You're the. You're the kid in the horror movie that's like, yeah, I found this weird gravestone in the backyard, brought it into my bedroom. It's just like, wait, why. Why is our place Haunted Oaks? Our son brought it in.

[B]

But then, like, very end of the movie, I'm the last one left. Is it like, pops in after killing everyone, is like, thanks for sharing your video games and just leaves? I'm like, no problem.

[A]

You just want to play Street Fighter 2.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Plot.

[A]

That's all it was.

[B]

Quit picking, Blanca. It's not fair.

[A]

This episode of Smoshmouth is brought to you by Tavala. Damien. Do you like to cook?

[B]

I do, but I feel like I never have time between streaming, doing the voice acting stuff, going to conventions. It's just hard to space for it.

[A]

You're a busy guy. I. But I believe in you, Damian. Thank you. Now, I also believe you've been busy, which is why I think you'd love Tavala. Tavala is a smart countertop oven and meal subscription that works together to make cooking effortless. Tavala has helped me on busy days when we wrap late, and the last thing I want to do is cook. I had a crispy chicken Caesar wrap that was amazing.

[B]

Wait, hold on. Go back. What's this about a smart countertop oven?

[A]

Okay. It's an oven that cooks, steams, bakes, and broils automatically. It feels like cooking in the future.

[B]

Ooh, can I only cook Tovala meals in that?

[A]

No, you can cook whatever you want in it. And they sent me one, and I've been using it for all sorts of things for a limited time. Because you are a smosh mouth listener, you can save up to $300 on the Tavala smart oven when you order meals six plus times by heading to tavala.comsmoshmouth and use my code smoshmouth. That's up to $300 off when you head to tovala.comsmoshmouth and use promo code smoshmouth one last time. That's T O V A L A dot com and make sure you use my promo code Smoshmouth for up to $300 off the Tavala Smart oven. Remember, with Tavala, dinner is taken care of.

[B]

Back to the show you should bring that oven here.

[A]

No, it's mine. Well, I have a bunch of scary stuff that I found, and that's.

[C]

Scary stuff.

[A]

Scary stories, Scary things.

[B]

Oh, jeez.

[A]

That we can read. And then, you know, continue talking about stuff. Get into what scares us.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And things freaky.

[C]

Scary.

[A]

Get a little scary. Freaky.

[C]

Gulp.

[A]

So I'm going to read. Selina submitted a couple things for us to read.

[C]

Whoa.

[A]

And I feel like. I feel like I'm going to. I'm going to read them.

[C]

Are these from. Where are these from?

[A]

These are from all over Reddit.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Got some. I've got some Reddit stories.

[C]

Are you okay, Selena? Actually, I was trying to do it last night.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

And I had to stop. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, too scary.

[A]

Okay. Yeah.

[C]

It's not fun.

[A]

I like this. Someone wrote in with Halloween coming up, what is the. Your story of the creepiest thing that's ever happened to you? Someone wrote infinite Space Goat is the name of this person.

[C]

Oh, that's their username.

[B]

I was like, what happened?

[A]

Have you ever heard of the Infinite Space Goat? This is eight years ago. They wrote this, but eight years ago today. Last year, I was dog sitting for my parents while they were on holiday. They live in a very rural countryside village in an old barn conversion, and I hate staying there by myself. So about 10 days into house sitting, I woke up at 4am and could hear something downstairs. Thinking I had somehow gone to bed and left the TV on, I went down to the lounge, but the TV was off. Very confused at this point, I wandered into the hall looking for the source of the sound. Both the dogs were sat very alertly outside the office door. Then I saw that light was coming from behind the office door. I have absolutely no explanation for what happened that night. The computer in the office is my brother's and he had been sailing in Europe for two months at this point, and his computer was always password protected. However, on this night, the computer was on unlocked, and the noise I could Hear was a YouTube video about Soviet experiments of dog head transplants. I worked from home the next day as I was so scared I'd come home to find my dog's heads had been switched.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Whoa.

[C]

And the dogs were like, huh?

[A]

The dogs were like, are you hearing this?

[B]

Yes. Can we hear very well.

[A]

Oh, my God. That is something that scares me. Is a TV turning on?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That sucks.

[C]

And it's like we talk about, like, we're chill if we can tell our cats aren't freaking out about something.

[B]

Got it.

[C]

So, like to know that those dogs, it's like, oh, you're hearing it too.

[B]

So interesting.

[A]

It's very interesting how animals are. Because they just know when something's in the vicinity, right? Like, I'll hear noises and things that alert me, but our cats will just be like, yeah, whatever. It's not. You don't have to worry about that, dude. That's not in here.

[B]

Interesting.

[A]

And then sometimes that noise will happen, and they freak out, and I'm like, okay, it's a thing that's happening.

[B]

It's go time. I'm the dark.

[A]

Yeah, exactly. But, no, I look to them, even though I worry that sometimes our cats would not be freaked out by something genuinely scary.

[C]

Cause I learned when I first got cats, I was doing a lot of research, and there's ways to help acclimate your cats and dogs maybe, too, to certain things. So, like, certain noises. If something's happening and the cats look at you and you know it's a comping. You fake yawn, stretch, do something tired and relaxed, and then they know to be relaxed as well. That's like, stuff like that.

[B]

That's how I got my cat Freya to, like, chill out at first when I got her home, because I didn't know about, like, the scary noise thing, but, like, she hid under the sofa for, like, two or three days, so I would just, like, nap near the sofa, like, on the ground. And if she looked at me, I'd, like, yawn. And so. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's interesting.

[C]

Be like, just be so chill.

[B]

Just be so ch.

[A]

Be so chill. Have you ever come home and. And your TV's on and you did not have it on when you left?

[B]

No, But I will say that electronic things like that are one of the few things that, like, you know, everybody has, like, little fears. That's one of the things that, like, really gets me. Like, if you're in the middle of something and it freezes and it has that, like, long droning thing on the same note. Like, if it's on your computer, you're playing a game, it's like, we have to get out of here. Like, that makes me go, like, it is really creepy. Freaks me out.

[A]

Electronic haunting stuff. Yeah. Is trippy. I definitely one time. Now I'm a skeptic, so I, like, can explain it in my head, but I came home one time to my apartment, and the TV was on, and I. In my bedroom, which I never. I just never used that tv, but it was on. And I remember being like, what is that? But My head goes to. I'm in a big apartment complex that, like, I could just see it. Like, either. Either. Also just. It turned on. Like. I mean, electronics are weird.

[C]

I had a sound bar start playing Adele really loud at 3am because someone else accidentally, like, Bluetooth to mine.

[B]

Yeah, that's terrifying.

[A]

Someone, as in a ghost.

[C]

Was that the same apartment that the penny fell on your head and that a bird flew around?

[A]

No, this was a different one. That was haunted. That was just, like, a weird stretch, right? A bunch of weird shit happened when I was, like, 16. In one apartment. Yeah, people say it has to do.

[B]

Sometimes with, like, electrical wiring, but I know when we lived together in Los Feliz, we were, like, directly under some power cords. And I don't think.

[A]

I don't think I'm shocked. That house was not haunted. That house was a hundred years old.

[B]

I mean, we had work to do. One of us needed to be haunting it, and we survived.

[A]

Yeah, that's true. That's true. And you did a good job.

[B]

Thank you.

[C]

You haunted the house?

[B]

No, I'm saying if we had died, one of us, any of our 3,000 roommates.

[A]

Oh, I thought you said you were haunting it.

[B]

Oh, no, thank you.

[A]

No, you were being the darkness.

[B]

I'm all set.

[A]

We did have a neighbor who was a very kind man. Very kind old man. But he would sometimes leave candles lit on our driveway.

[C]

What?

[A]

And I remember being like.

[B]

I don't remember that part.

[A]

He did that once. And I remember being like, that feels like you're leaving a sign.

[C]

Paint a picture. You need to say more.

[A]

It was one of those, like, you know, like, religious candles you can buy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, like the ones you can buy at the grocery store. He lit one of those, and he had it, like, right by our front gate. I didn't realize you didn't know about this. I remember looking out, being, like, seeing it and being like, he's. He mean. He probably means well.

[B]

In his defense, he was probably in his early hundreds.

[A]

Yeah, he was.

[B]

He was also, like, in the throes of dementia, so. But one time, I will say, even in the throes of dementia, you know, sometimes, like, an old man starts a conversation with you, and you're just like, I don't know what the vibe's about to be. He came up to me one time again, not always in his right mind, and he was just like, so what do you think about. What do you think about that Hitler fella? And I was just in my brain. I'm like, oh, I Hope we're on the same page here.

[C]

Oh, no.

[B]

And I was just like, you know, not good. And he goes, well, I think he was a real son of a bitch. And I was like, good. There we go. And in his defense, he probably remembers being, like, 70 and seeing him on the TV. So, like, it's. You know, it's scary stuff.

[C]

Oof.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. He was. He was. He was the oldest person I've ever known.

[B]

I have recently thought, what if he is still alive?

[A]

I think he might be.

[B]

He might be.

[A]

He's one of those people that's just, like, lives forever. Just one of those. Those old guys who, like. It's like, he's probably very lonely. He would come and, like, take out our trash. But, like, our trash cans were way, like, in the back of our driveway, so he would walk pretty much to our backyard to, like, get our trash cans sometimes, and it's like, hey, George, you don't have to do that.

[B]

It was very sweet. He lived with his sister.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I wasn't alone. That's good.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, he's a sweet guy, but. But he did light a candle and put it in our driveway once. I was like, in a lot of ways, this could be the scariest thing.

[B]

That'S fine to do in la. I've heard. I've heard you can just make. I can just do that.

[A]

You can just do that. But no. No haunting experiences there, otherwise.

[C]

No. I've had a hunting experience here, finally.

[B]

Really? Here?

[C]

Yeah. Cause, like, so I think years ago, some people were joking around and had a Ouija board, and they're like, yeah, somebody was here. Somebody died.

[B]

Y.

[C]

And I was, like, actually pissed. I was like, why are we doing that here? Don't bring the energy in here. I don't like it. And then. Then there was actually, like, people, obviously. We did that video where you and Amanda did a tour of the place and checked it out, and, like, there was some stuff that couldn't be explained. I just. A few weeks ago, or I think maybe like over a month ago, was we had just finished a challenge pit or a. Try not to laugh. And it's cold in these rooms, you know, especially when the AC is on. And then I was standing, and then I felt this hot, wet breath on my neck. And I turn, and no one was within 10ft of me. And there were people in the room, and it was just on the pit stage, and, like, it was a. It was a hot breath. Like, you know that feeling. And that was like. I was like, okay, And I'm gonna leave the room now. And then like just, I think a week later, Marcus had like something pulled his necklace up. Like walking by the cafeteria area, like, just so strange. But that was my first time having that. And I. At first I was like, guys, like, there's no way. There's no way but that. I've never had anything like that before.

[B]

That's weird. I don't know anything about anything like that. That sounds. Actually, I now sound suspicious the way I said that. Like, I don't know anything about anything like that.

[C]

I don't know.

[A]

I don't actually know anything about that.

[B]

But I hadn't heard anything about it.

[A]

I don't actually know what that is.

[B]

I don't even breathe hot breath. It's definitely.

[A]

Well, it's definitely not me.

[B]

It's not me. I'll say that. No, I'm just saying, like, I haven't heard anything about that. In like this space. Like that someone supposedly passed here.

[C]

Yeah, I don't know. I don't know.

[A]

No idea. I mean, it's an old building. It's an old building. Every building in LA is pretty old. But maybe it's not gas leak energy. Maybe we're haunted.

[B]

That would be better. Maybe help you.

[A]

Maybe some. Maybe some jokester from the golden age of Hollywood.

[C]

Oh, Charlie Chaplin's in my veins.

[A]

Maybe Buster Keaton's ghost is dancing around.

[B]

I'm glad he's getting work.

[A]

All right, I have another one.

[B]

Okay, let's go.

[A]

It's another one that someone said. What's the creepiest thing that's ever happened to them? This was posted by. It is. It was. Is their username.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Also, eight years ago, I was working as a bartender at a hotel that a flight attendant was murdered in room 354 of at about a year before the incident. Anyhow, it was close to closing time when the mod, a very small woman comes into a bar, comes in the bar and tells me she needed my help. It seems the fire panel is showing an alarm in room 354 which had been somewhat cleaned and left vacant since the murder. So the two of us go up the elevator and start heading down the long I shaped corridor. As we round the corner, we can see papers had been shoved under the door from inside the room with Help me written on them. So the manager puts her master key in the lock and opens the door to pitch black in the room. And we hear thank God you finally come. We both instinctively jump back and then see one of our maintenance workers Stroll out the door. It seems maintenance had been using the room for storage. And once he went inside the door, the knob was broken off on the inside. There were no lights or phone in the room, so he held his lighter up to the fire alone. So that's like not. That's not a scary. It's not a ghost thing. It's just like a guy got stuck in there with no door handle and had a lighter.

[B]

See, that stuff is scarier to me because it's like, oh, what if no one comes? Like, what if you just get locked in a room and no one checks and you're just gone?

[C]

He tried everything to help me, Help me, help me, help me. Very smart to put the lighter up there too.

[B]

That is smart. I will say if you wrote help me, like, that means he has something to write with and some paper, which to me would say, like, you can give some context.

[C]

You've got time trapped.

[B]

Maintenance man, please call this number. Let the front desk know. Like.

[C]

Spooky, though, that there was a room, like the context of the room and everything.

[A]

Yeah, you know what, Damien? You were talking about electronic stuff scaring you, and it reminded me of something. Have you ever heard. Have you ever heard of SCPs? Yeah, you know, have you heard of this?

[C]

I was trying to think of a funny thing that SCP stands for.

[A]

So the SCP foundation is a website and it's. It's a creative writing website. And it's actually so cool. The. It's a fake foundation, right, where it's a, like, fake agency where they are in charge of managing and containing like, like abnormal things and paranormal stuff. And so anyone can write into this and create their own, like, article as if it's part of this foundation. So everything is listed as like, SCP100F or something like that. They're all numbered and they're all written very, like, logistically, militarily kind of. And they all describe different anomalies and stuff. The first ever entry into this website was about a being this. Like, it was called the structure. I believe it was made of stone and iron and stuff. And it was something that they were describing that guards have to be watching it at all times because it moves when it's being unobserved and it will move and break your neck, basically. And so, like, they had to have guards on it. And it's like just this. Written very, like, unemotionally, just about, like, yes, here's the nature of this thing. Like, here's where it's contained, here's how it needs to be managed.

[C]

It was like a file at the.

[A]

Exact they're all written like they're files and there's a ton. There's literally thousands of entries under there. Now most of them are about monsters or ghosts or things, but my favorite one of all time is about a recording of a basketball game.

[C]

Oh, you've told me this one.

[A]

Have I told you I'm down to read it again cause I love it so it's SCP1733 object class safe special containment procedures the DVR containing SCP1733 is to be kept in a secure video archive at Site blank. Playback of SCP1733 is strictly forbidden unless required for research. Personnel must contact Dr. Geller for permission to study SCP1733. Description this SCP is a digital recording of the 20102011 NBA season opening game played at TD garden in Boston, Massachusetts on October 26, 2010 between the Boston Celtics and Miami Heat. Agents monitoring social networking sites were alerted to SCP1733 when Boston native Blank complained in a Facebook thread on Oct. 27 about a technical foul in the third quarter involving players Ray Allen and Chris Bosh that never occurred in the original broadcast. When confronted, the Blank uploaded the relevant segment, much to the confusion of his derogate derogators. Foundation agents embedded in Facebook's moderator team deleted the thread and procured the IP addresses of all individuals present at the chat at this time to locate and administer Class A amnestics like amnesia like to make them all forget about it. The Motorola brand DVR containing the recording was recovered for study. Study of the footage has since revealed the nature of the recordings anomalous properties. Although initially diverging from the original broadcast only negligibly, such a quarter point, such as quarter point totals and occurrences of fouls, the recording has begun to markedly digress from the content of its earlier playbacks. Recorded entities have been observed to retain MEM of previous playings and as such have developed a burgeoning awareness of their existence. It is hypothesized that playbacks impart an unquantifiable measure of cognizance to the entities inhabiting the recording, with consecutive playings greatly expanding recall of previous events. This effect is cumulative and extends to all persons in the arena. Quality of awareness has progressed from reported feelings of intense deja vu by commentator personalities Mike and Tommy to a near iconic eidetic memory of pre proceeding playbacks. However, to note no entities inside SCP1733 have ever addressed the viewer directly or shown awareness that they reside in a digital recording. It goes on to explain it more, but it has a timeline document that I think is really like, this is what always scared me.

[C]

So for in in simpler terms.

[A]

So basically they're playing every time you replay this recording. Everybody in the recording is acting like they remember the previous time it was played. So it's almost a time loop. So if you play this a hundred times, everybody in that recording has lived through that a hundred times. So here's scary they have a document where they've recorded all the playbacks and they've observed all the playbacks. So they go playback 002 first recorded deviation from recorded broadcast TD garden crowd boos the Miami Heat during entrance Miami Heat LeBron James observed to have scowled and shaken his head dismissively at the crowd. Playback 00:15 Score remains 00 for eight consecutive possessions. Fans appear noticeably subdued when displayed on the facility's HD scoreboard screen. Celtics power forward Glenn Davis is able to execute a crucial block late in the fourth quarter on LeBron James he could not complete during the original broadcast, securing the Celtics lead. Commentators note Glenn Davis's dedication to performing well on both sides of the court. In spite of the the Big Threes blistering ball movement on offensive plays, a nascent awareness of previous played games has begun to form. Playback 26 First Miami Heat victory 112 to 885 Crowd becomes aggressive, shouting obscenities and hurling foodstuffs at the Celtics. Color commentator Tom Hindson understood the frustration, criticizing the Celtics coaching staff for becoming so complacent after having cracked the code of the Miami Heat offense. As this was the first game together for the Miami Big Three, it is unlikely any coaching personnel would become so adjusted to an unfamiliar offense in a single game. Playback 27 commentators Mike and Tommy note a feeling of deja vu during the Heat's grandiose entrance. Crowd remains subdued during key Celtics plays. Celtics emerged the victors, prompting Tom Heinson to remark, the Celtics have come a long way, winning back the hearts of their fans. When asked to elaborate by Mike Gorman, Heinson could only respond that he felt the team had an embarrassment to atone for, but could not specify further. Playback 44 teams emerge disoriented and confused. Game is suspended. Majority of the time is spent by medical professionals assessing the mental state of players who remain convinced they had dreamt playing the season opener frequently the previous night. When informed of the situation by team staff commentators Mike And Tommy affirmed the same feeling. Crowd is also afflicted. Recording ends with courtside correspondence interviewing members of the crowd on the nature of their dreams. Playback 45. Five players refuse to play. Cameraman, facility personnel, players, commentators, and crowd members gather in the court to appraise the situation. All persons are convinced they are reliving the same game repeatedly. Doors are tested but cannot be budged. Recording closes as crowd begins to fashion makeshift weapons to pry open doors. Last instance of camera being manipulated by the camera crew. All following playbacks are seen through a single static shot of a broadcast view camera.

[C]

Whoa.

[A]

There's a bunch more if you want me to continue.

[B]

That's terrifying.

[A]

It's really scary.

[C]

Chunky one.

[A]

Yeah, it's big. It keeps going. Eventually, like, you get to. Down to playback 73. The faith keepers grow in numbers after previous playback incident where three males were severely injured by an improvised explosive fastened to an exit door. No damage to the door is visible. Playback 112. Conditions have deteriorated considerably. Individuals left from balcony section open. 10 minutes of playback 112. It's like the faith keepers have, like, a whole crazy. And then finally gets down to playback blank. It's like, probably hundreds. First recorded deviation in arena light to a deep red color. Data expunged. Yeah, I'm like, that's. That's the scary stuff I love where I'm like, what? What's happening? We don't know. And it's like, let's just put this away and not. No, I'm like, that's the type of scary stuff that really gets me. Like. Like, ooh, that's weird. We can't explain that.

[C]

Yeah, there's a word for that.

[A]

I read a book this year. I think this is closest is like, Cosmic Horror.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

It's, like, very unknown. That has to do with the unknown of not aliens, but the unknown of what's out there. That's beyond human understanding. Right.

[B]

It can also be like a Cthulhu situation. But I know analog horror falls into that too, where there's an old video game and there's something off about it.

[C]

And, you know, those are cool. I bet those will become a lot bigger in this coming. Like, people are getting really into physical media again.

[A]

Yeah, Analog horror is great. And there's a bunch of creepypastas that I wish we could read. They're just. Some of them are too long.

[B]

There's a game I've been playing that I think y' all would probably like playing together. Honestly, is. No, I'm not a human. It's Analog horror. It's, I think, done by the same people that did mouthwashing, which was a big horror game from last year. But it's. Something has gone wrong with the sun and it's not safe to be out during the day. So the whole game is you have your house and you know that, like, all the instructions are, like, you have to let people in sometimes. So at night, people will knock on your door and, you know, ask to come in. And you ask them a few questions and they all look really off, like, uncanny valley. And you have to, like, through talking to them and testing them, decide, like, are they a human or are they, like, one of them? The quote unquote visitors that you have to be watching out for.

[C]

Whoa. Interesting.

[B]

And it's like. So it's difficult and it's creepy, and.

[A]

It'S just like what happens when you accidentally let a visitor. Is it like a jump scare? No.

[B]

In fact, the game keeps going. But you will. There will be, like, a message the next morning. Be like, it smells like someone died last night. So you'll go into a room, and where someone else was standing, there will just be, like a pile of trash bags. And so it means, like, oh, someone's been picking up off. There is a visitor in the house right now. We have to figure out who this is.

[C]

And that's freaky.

[B]

It's really freaky.

[C]

Interesting. I'm intrigued.

[B]

I think y' all would like it.

[C]

I have a hard time with scary games. Like, I love the Last of Us, but I couldn't play the second one. I only watched Shane play it because, like, I just. It's really hard for me, like.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So I don't know. There's something about horror films and, like, certain ones where there's not even, like, comedy elements, where it's like, hey, you want to have a bad time?

[A]

Yeah, come have a bad time.

[C]

Watch this really scary, awful thing. And I like, like, I agree with you.

[B]

Horror needs some comedy, I think.

[C]

So they're very similar in tension and breaking tension. Like.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Can I. I actually wrote a list of things that scare me.

[B]

Please may I share with you?

[A]

Let's go. I wrote some things down too. Of things.

[B]

I've got a few off the top of the dome.

[C]

I'm not surprised. Things that I think are scary. Whoa. Wait, wait, wait, wait. James.

[A]

Get out of here. James. James.

[B]

Smart shit.

[C]

James.

[A]

Smash.

[C]

James, you had the iPad in your hand.

[A]

It could have been anyone. Crazy. I love that.

[C]

That got me, mate.

[A]

Plenty of other things stayed on. Okay.

[C]

For the listeners.

[A]

James, it was you, right?

[C]

The lights flickered in a ominous way. For those listening.

[B]

For the listeners.

[C]

Things that I think are scary. Those few moments at the doctor, after putting that paper gown on before the doctor comes in and you're waiting in the paper gown.

[A]

I don't. Okay, can we ever. You read each one, and we'll say if it does scare us.

[C]

Agree or disagree?

[A]

Talk about it. Not at all. I feel like a little baby. I feel ridiculous, but I'm not scared. It's actually a very kind of Zen moment for me. So I'm just kind of there. Just like, all right. Like, I'm very. Like. I think I'm just sensing a lot in that moment.

[B]

I wouldn't say scared, but I'd say, like, uncomfortable. Like, it's very much the dream where it's like, oh, and your naked. Wicked. Except you are. And you're just like, well, I can't wait to get my clothes on again later.

[C]

Yeah, that.

[A]

Yeah, those medical things are hilarious because, like. Oh, yeah. Like, everything's covered except my butt.

[C]

Birdie in the night.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Our cat.

[B]

Yes, we have a haunted cat.

[C]

Have you heard of this? Yeah, I know you've talked about this on the pod, but, like, these types of mice were gifted to our cat, Birdie. And then one light, late, late, late night, we hear hell. Hello.

[A]

That. Just like that.

[C]

Like, terrifying.

[A]

And then you walk down the stairs.

[C]

And I, like, got the flashlight on. I. And I come. The first time was in the apartment when I shine the light, and it's just her sitting, and the mouse is right below her at her feet.

[A]

She's looking at me, just perfectly upright, just staring, no movement. No. She's haunted. That.

[B]

That noise was so good, Courtney. I don't want to gloss over that. I have heard cats do that, and I've had moments where I, like, wake up being like, oh, what's up?

[A]

What's wrong?

[B]

Because the cats will be.

[C]

That was my first time canon. People think I, like, do that at the house. I would not scare our cats like that. No, that was my first time.

[A]

They wouldn't be phased by it, I don't think.

[C]

But, yeah, she's. She's haunted. Those. Either the mice are haunted or she's.

[A]

It doesn't scare me anymore. The first time she did scared me now, and I hear it. I'm just like. She's just doing her thing.

[B]

Freya one time did that, like, and came into the bedroom and did it and sort of, like, flopped over and, you know, it was a medical Situation where I was so freaked out. Like, so that was scary. But it turned out to be probably, we think, just like a really deep ear infection. So she lost her balance and scared. But like, she's great now. But it was just a scary moment of like, what is this noise? You've never made this noise. Yeah. Why are you wobbly?

[A]

Meanwhile, Meanwhile, Bones. Bones Will, like, on a couple occasions, has gotten like a dingleberry.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And he's just screaming his ass off. And it's like, get over here. Like, I need to help you. He hasn't a minute. He's been back.

[C]

No, because I cut my hair.

[B]

That's crazy.

[C]

Cat owners, if you know, you know, we do. I got a lot of ones. I'm like, oh, I was not in a good place when I wrote this. Cyber truck trunks and how they were just closing on people's hands. Even though they're like, we fixed it. And then it still did it again. Yeah, Trucks trying to kill you even when they're not moving enough.

[A]

Trucks are scary. Trucks are like, like a semi truck on the road scary enough.

[C]

Like they're, they're big and they're designed to be scary. Why do we have such big trucks? Trucks used to be so small and cute and still have the same bed space that they do on the truck bed. And. And now they're just big.

[B]

Why isn't Amazon just a bunch of little guys on little bikes?

[C]

Amazon.com yeah. Oh, like those trucks, those delivery trucks.

[B]

Saying in general, even like freight, like, you. Okay, you could have freight which is full of fright, or you could just have a bunch of little guys on bikes.

[C]

Why? Yeah, why is. Why is capitalism affecting the consumers and making us all have aesthetics when our ugly ass trucks should just have aesthetic? Let's make our trucks aesthetically pleasing and more happy and silly instead of what they are.

[B]

You know what? There is actually that truck in Japan that I like kind of super want.

[C]

It's like, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, the little guy.

[A]

Japan's got cute little truck.

[C]

Or it's like the head of it is like the size of this table. Not even.

[B]

Yeah, this is a little guy.

[A]

Got cute little.

[C]

The underground subway in la. I've never been there.

[A]

Oh, subways are a scary place. You're underground. You're underground.

[C]

Some people don't even know that we have one. I didn't for a very long time. And I will not go down there.

[B]

Well, we lived like two blocks from a station and I had. My girlfriend at the time was a flight attendant and would fly in and like be put up in downtown la. So I would just be like, all right, well, I'm not gonna drive and park in downtown la. I will take the red line right here. And so like, that was great.

[C]

How was it? It was scary.

[B]

It was fine. But I also acknowledged like, I was a young man wearing a hoodie. Like, I probably wasn't the. The most afraid demographic to be afraid on the subway. So like. But yeah, it was. It was stinky.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I think that's. I. Like, it's scary to be like. I'm not claustrophobic, but it is scary to be like underground.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Of just like, okay. Like I'm in this confined space, you know, and like, here we are.

[C]

I've never seen it. And I just assume there's not enough supervision or surveillance and that things will happen to me.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Fair. Yeah, fair.

[C]

Subway sandwiches.

[A]

Elaborate. What? The Subway sandwiches.

[C]

Scary Subway sandwiches. They're just sitting in the trays. Little parts of the. Of them.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It's like reverse like dissection.

[A]

Sort of a buffet sort of situation.

[C]

Bread, apparently. Same as yoga mat fibers.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Legally cake, I think.

[C]

Allegedly.

[A]

Yeah. According to Ireland.

[C]

It's just like cold in there.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And that's not very inviting. And when they go toast it, I go, yeah, cuz it's so cold with.

[B]

What hellfire you're getting.

[A]

I miss Quiznos. That's what I miss. Not scary.

[C]

I miss Baja Fresh.

[B]

Are both of those gone?

[A]

Not Baja Fresh.

[C]

Many years.

[A]

Boo Fresh.

[C]

Shane.

[B]

I like a good firehouse subs.

[A]

Okay. No, no, I just. That one. That one surprised me.

[C]

Subway.

[A]

You. You. You're like 3 in and subway.

[C]

I've skipped a lot. I've skipped a lot. I skipped. No, there's some in here that I'm like. I was not well when I wrote this.

[A]

Like alone.

[C]

The feeling that people in your life be tired of your bullshit and are waiting for a reason to never talk to you.

[A]

Okay. That's a.

[B]

That's a real fear.

[A]

Yeah, that's a real fear.

[C]

I know, I know, I know.

[B]

I want to make a paranormal activity about that.

[C]

Surveillance footage of people just like, yeah, honestly.

[B]

And she's great and I always say that, but like, she does a thing where real.

[C]

Fuck getting your bag snatched.

[A]

Oh, well, very real.

[C]

Almost happened to me.

[B]

Really?

[C]

Yes. When I was first living on my own outside my dad's with a roommate and I had so many groceries in my hands and my purse was perfectly like hanging off. It was like my little one. I had little backpack, purses all the time. And someone was walking up behind me and I perfectly happened to like, swing it back up on me. And he. But he was like, literally about to grab it and then he walked past me and I made eye contact with him. His hood was up and everything. And he like, high tailed.

[B]

Damn.

[C]

I. I somehow didn't get my little bag snatched.

[B]

That's crazy.

[A]

I. The only thing I can think of similar is when I'm in New York City or when I've been in, like, places in Europe and people are like, oh, be careful of pickpockets.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm just always kind of like, just kind of like always just patting my. Myself around, just being like, you're not going to get it from me. Like.

[C]

And now there's the whole thing where it's like, well, don't try and pickpock Amer pickpocket Americans or whatever, because Americans get pissed off.

[B]

Yeah, I saw that video.

[C]

You hold your ponytail.

[B]

Yeah, that's about right.

[C]

Like, I feel that rage within me.

[B]

Yeah, well, because I saw someone bring up. It was like, yeah, we're not doing great financially right now. And we like someone to go on vacation. Like, they had to scrape and claw and, like, figure it out. So if you take their passport and their money is just like. You don't understand, motherfucker.

[A]

Yeah, I saw someone on Tik Tok because that, that was going around. Someone was like. And that's like the rich Americans that are traveling, like, oh, come here and try to do it.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

To your average American, good luck.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's one of those things where I'm like, I'm scared of it. But I'm also like, if someone managed to do it, I'd be like, damn. Damn, that was impressive. Like, when I had my airbag stolen out of my car once, and I was like, how the hell they do this?

[B]

Your airbag?

[A]

My airbag was stolen out of my car.

[C]

Surgically removed.

[A]

Out of the car, surgically removed. And I took it. I took it to a mechanic and I was like, yeah, so they stole the airbag out of my car and they looked at it and they go, whoever did this did such a good job. They were like. Cause normally they're like, this happens a lot. They steal airbags and they sell them, you know, but they're like, normally they rip them out and then you'd have to get a ton replaced. But he's like, because they perfectly removed, uninstalled it, you just have to put in another airbag. So they actually, the the burglars saved me some money. I said they should be thankful they still cost me a lot of money because they took my airbag.

[B]

A gentleman criminal.

[A]

Certainly not something I thought about because I don't have anything nice in my car. So I was like, sure. Oh, okay.

[B]

I wonder what's the weirdest, like, specific part someone has stolen where, like, you come back to your car and just like the actual. Actual, like, outer frame is missing, but.

[C]

All the insides there is paint is gone. Just the paint. There is a car. I think it's a type of Toyota or, like, a specific type of Honda or. No, no, no. It may be a Kia, where there's a part that's really expensive but also easy to remove and sell. I think if you look up a Kia, it's a Kia. And I think their newer models don't do it anymore. But it's like the Kia Soul or something like that where there's this one part that's, like, notorious that the hamsters take it.

[B]

Yeah, I know. The catalytic converter is easy to steal from a Prius and also very expensive. Expensive.

[C]

Maybe that's what it is.

[A]

I know of people. I know there is someone who works here at Smosh who's had their catalytic converter stolen twice. See?

[C]

What the hell? Same person, probably same Steve sucks.

[B]

That's something I'd want haunted. If I'm like, okay, you can hang out in my catalytic converter, but, like, you gotta haunt this.

[A]

I've never heard of a haunted car.

[B]

Stephen King wrote a book about one.

[A]

Well, yeah. Christine, Christine, Christine.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

It's a really cool car with this guy gets a new car, he got it used, and he's just like, oh, this car just feels so good. And he becomes obsessed with the car. But then eventually, like, she doesn't want him when he. He falls, he starts dating this girl, but the car is, like, jealous of her.

[C]

It, like, talks to him, right?

[A]

Doesn't talk to him, but it just, like, will try to, like, run people over and stuff, like, whether he's in it or whether he's out of it, like, by the end, it's. It's a really fun, like, campy 80s horror.

[B]

What if it turns out it's like an Optimus prime in there and it's. Oh, my gosh.

[C]

Hot robot.

[B]

I love you. I feel a spark.

[A]

An all spark spark.

[C]

This plug.

[A]

Keep going.

[C]

Foods that don't expire.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, my Cholula is a different color than when I bought it, but it is somehow still okay to have and I don't get sick. And yes, I am still having it, but it's a different color.

[B]

But those things age in a good way. Like, they've got. They're like vinegar based.

[C]

Do you think. Do you think Cholula has an excellent year? Cholula can be vintage.

[A]

Age is like one like champagne.

[B]

Because it's only cholula. If those chilies grow on this cholula.

[C]

Part of vinegar is in there.

[B]

Yeah, it's vinegar based.

[A]

So it's probably not going to get harmful. It might lose impact. Similar to spices. Right.

[C]

Like me, Me, as I get older. Oh, my God. Data centers.

[A]

Data centers. Data centers are actually scary. No, we're unfortunately, like, I'm not scared of ghosts much anymore because we're entering sci fi horro.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Or we are destroying ourselves like robots.

[A]

We got to start being scared of robots.

[B]

Do you all know about the brain organoids?

[A]

No.

[B]

Okay. So this is a thing and I'm surprised people don't talk about it more. And I'm not messing with you people. Some scientists took some stem cells and tried to make them like brain stem cells. And they did, and they put them in a, like, petri dish. And after a while, those brains started to grow. Like, each one had like two little black spots which receive light, so they might as well be eyes. And so they were letting them do just the brain grow thing for a while while. And finally they got to a point where it's so stable, where they're now, like, renting them out to other companies to be like, what do you want to do with them? One group has put them in like a virtual space where they believe they're a butterfly flying around, which is the Matrix kind of murder is becoming real. Yeah. Someone gave it one. A spider body. Someone gave one, like, an arm. Someone gave this.

[C]

Where is this? Where did you find this? Information is our video.

[B]

It's a. It's a scientist tiktoker that I follow that like, reports and it's. It's. They have like the report reports on there. Not like, did you hear the scientists?

[A]

Like, I'm pretty sure they're 100% doing this shit. It's that old tweet that's the best. Like, the tweet that I quote all the time is the one where it's like, startup company CEO. Guys, good news. We've created the Torment Nexus inspired by the classic sci fi novel. Don't create the Torment Nexus. It's like everything we were warned about for decades. It's just like. Yeah, but what if we. We did it. I'm like, come on, guys. Like, what?

[C]

Have you seen Murderbot?

[B]

No.

[C]

It's a really good Apple TV show. Sci fi.

[A]

It's a. It's a series.

[C]

Organic material and robots coming together and how his body has material that he was like, oh, I can fix the ship with my own spine or whatever.

[A]

He's not. No, that's. I think that's a bit of alien Earth. No, no, no, Murderbot, he doesn't have organic material.

[C]

No. Remember when he's repairing the ship? I watch the show more than you did up earlier. He has the lady do surgery on his back. They did surgery on the back and they. And she fixes the ship with his organic material.

[A]

Oh, yes. Yes.

[C]

That's what I'm saying.

[A]

Oh, with. I thought they fixed the ship with his.

[C]

His organic material is like, it can. Because, you know, we are conductors. Humans are natural conductors. And he's like, oh, I can fuse with this part of the ship and we can fix it again.

[A]

Weird.

[C]

But maybe I'm wrong.

[B]

Last thing I want to say is about the brain Organoids is they are now renting them out as processing power for things, which is literally the matri. That's scary. Good.

[A]

Good. That's. No, no, no. This is. This is good. This is. This is good.

[B]

What if that's what we're in right now? Okay, There you go.

[A]

Yeah. I'm like, come on, guys. What?

[C]

Like when. What is mining Bitcoin? Where are you digging? They dig it in. They butt from buying for bitcoin. Twin. Twin.

[A]

Yeah, it's a.

[C]

What is that? What is mining for bitcoin? Where are they?

[B]

I mean, it's.

[A]

It's in a computer.

[B]

It's in a computer. It's. They basically have this one set of like, really difficult computer generated equations that get harder and harder and harder.

[C]

So you're digging with math. You're digging with math and you find money. Who put the money there? Who put the money there?

[A]

Look, everyone's unemployed. Cousin needs something to do.

[C]

What? Willy Wonk the computer guy put bunch of bitcoin that. That we just started being obsessed with. I'm losing my speech skills.

[B]

It's like one of those cat toys where the treat is in the middle and they have to like, with it. And that's kind of just like that with people.

[A]

Oh, God, that's so funny.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah. No electronic stuff is like what is actually scary. Right? Like, and we're hitting weird realms of like, this was beyond our comprehension. Scary. So ghosts and Stuff. I'm like, I welcome it. Yeah. I hope a demon comes out of the ground right now, because, like, these robots scaring me.

[B]

I mean, Hideo Kojima said, like, for death, straining to. He's like, okay, so we have a ghost in the game, but we're trying to scan it instead of just record it. And it was like, huh? And that's just something Hideo Kojima can say.

[A]

He is. I love Hideo Kojima. He is the scariest man alive. He is absolutely the. The craziest, creepiest man. Like, he makes Steven King look just sweet.

[C]

What does he do?

[A]

He makes video games. He makes Metal Gear Solid.

[B]

Death stranding.

[A]

Death stranding. He's incredible.

[B]

You remember, he is a genius. Yeah, he did P.T.

[A]

He'S A. He's a. He's a mad genius. But he. He says things are. It's like, what's going on in there, man?

[B]

You're like, what is your brain mistranslation? Because he said it in Japanese. Then you dig a little deeper, and you're like, no, he meant it.

[A]

No, he said that.

[B]

He said he put a ghost in the fucking game.

[A]

He is somehow also hilarious.

[B]

Yeah. Comedy.

[A]

There's a Black Mirror episode that. It. There's clearly a character that's inspired by him. I feel like the, like, haunted house simulation one where the guy's in, like, he meets a video game developer in Japan. I felt like it was.

[B]

I haven't done Black Mirror in years for this very reason, where I'm just like, what are you gonna do?

[A]

Scary.

[B]

What are you gonna do?

[A]

It's just real life. Yeah, it's just real life.

[C]

Doors that say employees only.

[A]

Okay. I like that.

[C]

That was one.

[B]

Scare me.

[A]

I like that because, like, what's going on behind there?

[C]

There's an energy pushing me away when I see those.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, why can't I go? What are you of business? Why can't I go even.

[A]

I'll do you one. I'll do you one up. When you see a door that is, like, blocked. Like, blocked. Like, there's boxes and stuff in front of the door or just, like, a door that is, like, kind of inaccessible, or a door that you can tell has not been opened in so long, you're like, what? Why isn't this door being used?

[B]

You know, what gets me is in the similar vein, and so I guess we did find the common thread of, like, doors. If you're in, like, a really old building, sometimes there's, like, a door that is off the ground that is, like, way up There where you're like, oh, I guess people can like use it for storage or something with a ladder. But like, I'm always like, who? And then there's also like the other version of like smaller door on ground or basement level.

[C]

Yeah. Like crawl space doors. Those weird little closet low cabinet ones.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

People find like a squatter in or something.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

All those scary stories. What's it called? Like frogging or something.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

No, that's a good one. That's something I have similar that something that creeps me out in a way that I kind of love is furniture in places it shouldn't be. So like, imagine truly, like you're out in the middle of the woods in the middle of the night, and all sudden you come across a perfectly set up couch, side chair and TV set. Oh. Just like all set up in the middle of a clearing in the woods. You're just like. And it's like clean. It's not like dirty like it's in the woods. It's like, wait, this is off from where it should be. Or like we read this in a. In a creepypasta once of like stairs. The stairs.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Like, oh, park rangers know that if you staircase out in the middle of the woods, don't you need to turn around and go the other way? I'm like, I love that.

[C]

I think couches and stuff in the woods would have been scary to me in like 2010, but now in like the age of influencers and music videos.

[B]

Oh, sure.

[C]

Especially in this city. I'm like, no, but that was my favorite thing for some reason my small town. If there was like a bush with an opening, there'd be a couch in there. Like, there was a park near my home where we were like, oh, what is this big bush? It looks like it's hollow inside. And you go inside and there's a little couch. And maybe there was drugs or things that would happened on that, but we would sit on it as little teenagers and enjoy it.

[A]

Yeah, I do that.

[B]

There was a big old hollow bush near like an old bus stop I was at, and I didn't discover the hollow part until way later. And I was like, wait, I'm in it. And so, yeah, I think we love a little bushroom. We love a little bushroom.

[A]

And what else scares you?

[C]

The fact that Matt Rife is now the legal guardian of Annabelle the doll.

[B]

That's a. I don't like that.

[C]

So he owns the home at which a lot of these relics, including Annabelle, are kept. And he. Thus, he is now the legal caretaker. He does not own Annabelle, but he is now the legal caretaker because that's where she resides. This is a fact.

[B]

That dude has the energy of the first person to die in an Annabelle film.

[C]

This is literally the setup is him and this Viner. Or he's not a Viner anymore, but his name is Elton. Like, I had met him a couple times. They are now together working to make this place like a Airbnb that you can experience everything. And, like. But, like, this is literally the setup for, like, the next barbarian type.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like, Matt Rife walks out in the middle of the night, Annabelle's out of her case, and he goes, women. Am I right? And then he gets killed and goes.

[B]

Is she back, by the way? Wasn't she missing?

[C]

She was missing for. But she's back. And then the person who was taking care of her previously died unexpectedly. There was, like, some weird stories. Yeah.

[B]

My personal favorite. Go to Magic. The gathering deck that I've made is based off of Annabelle. There's a little doll card called Arabella. And so I'm hoping if she ever comes for me, I'll just be like, hey, I'm actually kind of a fan.

[C]

Big fan.

[B]

Big fan.

[A]

Hey, sorry.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Can you sign this? Yeah.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Or you kill me.

[C]

The other ones I have in here are a little too real.

[A]

Okay. I mean, those were the, like. Because it is fun to find. Like, what are the silly little things? Because I had some.

[C]

Yeah, because those are the ones. It's like, oh, big arenas or stadiums. Unless I'm holding a hot dog, I feel like nothing can go wrong when I'm holding a hot dog fair. Like, no one's going to attack me when I'm holding a hot dog. You would never do that.

[B]

They're trying to get your purse, and they're like, oh, Courtney doesn't even need to move this time. Like, they've got a hot dog.

[C]

I'm going to wait till she's done with a hot dog. News flash. I'm going to have a hot dog ready to go so they can't get me.

[A]

Mm. It's like a crucifix.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know if you can. Yeah, I don't know if any, like, paranormal things can attack you when you're holding a hot dog. It just feels too silly.

[C]

Especially when it's a kosher dog.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[C]

It's been blessed.

[B]

It is the crucifix of the meat world.

[A]

That's true. I wrote a Couple more. Some of these fall into the same. Cause I wrote, like, seeing just a little bit of something is really scary.

[C]

Seeing a little bit of something.

[A]

When you see just a little bit of something that's always really scary. You know, like. Like. Well, like, imagine, like, you look around, you're like. And you see just, like a little bit of something drift behind a wall. You're like, wait, I just saw a little bit of that. What was that?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or like, you know, like, that's what makes sharks so scary because they're fins. They're fins. You know, it's just like, whoa. There's just a little bit of it. When you see. When you only see, then it's really scary, but you see the whole thing. You're like, all right, I got it. I got the whole picture. But when you don't have the whole picture.

[C]

Oh. Like when you get. When you're. When your peripheral just catches. When a rat perfectly went behind the wall.

[A]

When you briefly see something, I feel.

[B]

Can I pitch you something then?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Let's see if it scared you. The Pokemon Diglett.

[A]

No, not enough. I think that's enough of it.

[B]

Okay. You know, I mean. But you have no idea, frankly.

[A]

Yeah, we don't have any clue. I love the drawings of it being, like a buff guy. Shredded. Dude, underground, man. We're going to talk about Pokemon more. Oh, I like this one a lot. Someone in a window.

[C]

Yeah, I don't like that.

[A]

And I. And I even catch myself when I'm in a window and I'm standing and I'm like. I'm just gazing out there. I'm like, oh, I'm really scary right now.

[C]

I agree. I agree. I don't want to be a person.

[A]

In a window because if someone out on the street or something looks up and they just see me just standing there, I'm like, that's really scary.

[C]

We don't do that. Don't do that.

[B]

I was like, do you do that?

[A]

I love looking out a window, especially.

[C]

When there's something nice.

[A]

We have windows. Look out a window, guys.

[C]

A nice little tree.

[A]

Guys, I've got good news. Looking out a window is gorgeous scary. It's really scary. But sometimes when I'm. When I'm looking out my windows and I'm just like, oh, someone's walking along the street, and they just turn and they just see me. Just now, I'm not looking at them, but I'm just staring out the window. I'm like. Like, I look scary.

[B]

Stare.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I'm like, oh, I need to be. I need to. Like, if you're moving around, it's fine, but it's perfectly still at a window. Scary as hell.

[C]

If you ever. When you're looking, when you're standing out a window, looking out the window and then across the way, someone else has come up to their window and you're both. I have to close the curtain.

[A]

I. When my. In my first apartment in la, I lived. It was a small apartment complex, but across the freeway, like, there was a good distance, there was a. A big, tall building, right? A lot of windows and a lot of windows. And I was a teenager and I did have binoculars and I remember. I remember just wanting to, like, look up and just like, this is an.

[B]

Office building and you had just broken your leg.

[A]

Yes, yes. But I was just, like, looking, and it was always empty, right? It was just always, like, I just. You just didn't see anything. But I was always. Whenever I would do it, and I didn't do this a lot, I wasn't, like a creepy teenager, but I would be looking around and I would always be, like, kind of scared at the idea of, like, what if I was looking around at this apartment? Or what if I was looking around at this office building a ways away? Suddenly I come to a room and there's just a person just staring at me. I'm like, that would scare the crap out of me.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, oh, God. Like, I think it's unexpected, for sure. Yeah.

[C]

I think all teenagers are creepy.

[A]

I remember as a teenager, teenagers are definitely creepy. I'm creepy.

[B]

Sure.

[C]

Because we're exploring new thoughts. Our brains have expanded in a weird way.

[A]

I think teenagers just. The teenagers aren't creepy. They just scare me. And they scared me. When I was a teenager, I was terrified of other teenagers. And I've. I've remained just as terrified ever since.

[B]

My Chemical Romance wrote about that.

[C]

True teenagers get the living shit out of me. Love that song. Also, if you're a teenager listening, you're not creepy.

[A]

You're not creepy. No, but you are scary. And. And know that you're gonna look back.

[B]

In a few years and go, ha.

[C]

And you're very powerful.

[A]

Truly, Truly. You will. I think I only wrote this one's real. Like, being stuck.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[A]

I do think I've decided that those cave diving videos, that's. I'm like, that's the. That's the worst ever.

[B]

I could never.

[A]

Worst ever. What are you doing?

[B]

It's like. It's the meme where it's just like someone with a wife and two kids right before they go into like, this, this cave called you'll never come out cave. Or like, whatever. It's. No, it's like the most unescapable hole. Like wife. Guy with wife and two kids. Just like, you know, I don't know.

[A]

It's like, what?

[C]

It's like what?

[A]

It's like. It's like I saw on these tik toks of like, people doing these extreme things, either skydiving, diving, or. Hello, take that back.

[C]

The ghost took his throat on those.

[A]

Tiktoks of people doing extreme stuff like skydiving or cave diving. There's always the top comment, which is like the best thing about skydiving is you don't have to do it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Or whatever. But there was a cave diving video I saw that was like, terrifying where this guy was like, squeezing through this tiny hole. Whatever. He's like, yeah. And you need to exhale to like, fit through here. Right. The top comment was the worst part about cave diving is we all have to do it.

[C]

We all have to wear.

[A]

All have to do this.

[C]

There was these YouTubers that were exploring caves and like, they had gone down. They like, found a part that wasn't documented on their map. And they go in and they suddenly hear a child crying. And a child had just gone missing and she didn't speak English. And they helped this child get out. Her parents were looking for her out there. They found her. If they hadn't been going and, and breathing out and going in tunnels, they wouldn't have found her.

[B]

You just made the only case for going to explore tunnels. So now people have. Have to do it.

[C]

Don't do. But don't. How about kids don't go in tunnels and don't wear crocs when you're going into tunnels because she was wearing crocs.

[B]

That's what did it. She would have gotten there.

[A]

There is a. It is a. I think it's technically like a creepypasta. It's a famous one. It's one of the most famous ones. And it's. It was originally posted on its, like, own website and it was called Ted the Caver. And it was this guy who's like, oh, guys, I'm. I'm a caver and I'm. I'm documenting, like, my experiences in this cave I found nearby my, my house. And he puts. He also does like, uploads. Uploads photo photos with it as well. And it gets into really, really creepy territory where he's like, I found this weird hole, and he's like. And I'm able to, like, kind of start, like, breaking apart the hole, and he's like. And on the other side, like, there's furniture. There's, like, things. There's all this stuff, and it keeps getting weirder and weirder and weirder. People, like, love it. It's fiction, but it's just really well done.

[B]

I did see a TikTok that I think I sent to you that made me laugh my ass off. Because it starts out and it's this, like, guy in a cave, and he's, like, clearly trapped. And he's like, it's been several days since he's eaten, and he's kind of just, like, head down. And I'm like, why am I getting this on my algorithm? And it's just like, hey, guys, looks like daddy's in a little bit of trouble. So if you find this, I just want to say I love you very much. And, Ben, you're the man of the house now. You know, you're gonna have to be strong and support your mom. Jesse, you're. You gotta. You know, you're the big brother now if Ben's the man. So you gotta be, you know, good to your siblings. Tease them only a little bit. Tony, you're the elephant man of the house now. You're gonna. You're gonna. Your skin and your bones are gonna form different, and society's gonna treat you different on account of that. And you got to be aware of that.

[A]

What the.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Jesse, you're the juggler now. You're the juggler of the house. You got to learn how to keep a. Start with two balls, then with three, four, you know, and just. He kept going. So it's fake, but, like, that's so good.

[C]

That's insane. You are so creative.

[A]

Yes. That stuff scares me the most.

[C]

Yeah. How creative people are.

[A]

Yeah. I want people to stop. They will. Everyone just needs to stop.

[B]

I got a few things off the dome that are scary to me. Very, very deep sea where things start to get dark.

[C]

Thaussophobia that exists.

[A]

Thaustophobia is a real thing, I think when it starts.

[B]

I love the idea of the ocean, but when it starts to be even in a game, if it's like, oh, you're gonna have to dive in this underwater cave, I'm like, I don't want to. Like, what's that water game? That.

[A]

Subnautica.

[B]

Subnautica. Now I'm all set.

[C]

Yeah. There's a part in Knights of the Old Republic. That's, like, under deep sea. And I'm like, I hate this for.

[A]

I. I'll never forget when we were fishing down in Key west when I was a kid, and we were, like, over 10 miles out to sea, right? Because, like, to go out there to get mahi mahi, and you're just out in the middle of the ocean, and it's so deep that you're like, yeah, we're. We don't know where the bottom of this is. And, like, we, like, stopped the boat, and we, like. I, like, jumped in the water, and it's trippy as hell to, like, jump in and just, like.

[C]

And considering how deep it must be, like, you are a little scared, bug.

[A]

But I'm just like. I'm like, yeah, Like, I don't know. There's just probably nothing for a while.

[B]

That's what it. That's kind of what scares me sometimes. It's not like, oh, there's, you know what's down there. It's more like, we're so nothingness. Like, my sister and I were talking about it the other day, and she was like, she's so funny. She was like, yeah, of course. That's Earth Space. Like, it's just cold.

[A]

And I think it's, like, less explored and understood than space.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think they're like, we don't know what's going on down there.

[C]

Subway.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I can see okay.

[A]

Yeah, I think. I think they are in the same category. If you ask a scientist, they'd be like, yes, subway. And. And the Marianas Trail employees only doors.

[C]

Don't know what's in cold.

[B]

Well, they're probably building a subway in there. It's so scary.

[A]

Yeah, that's what they're doing.

[B]

That freaks me out. We talked about, like, electronic droning noises, but also, like, any creepy posture or whatever where there's something wrong in the game. Like, it's not supposed to do that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Like, I remember in the first, like, Pokemon Game Boy games, there was a glitch you could do to get a bunch of items, but you fought a Pokemon that would, like. It was a piece of missing data. So it was just this, like, mess of, like, patterns and designs on screen, and the sound was, like, super off. And this sounds like a creepypasta, but it's real. And the first time I actually got it to show up, I freaked out and ran downstairs, and it, like, terrified me. And I feel like that might have started that for me. But if you save your game after using it, sometimes Things get corrupted and like little corrupted things of data. When it's like, here's your team that beat the Elite four. Let's go through it. It'll be like your, your Pokemon. Then one that like, was not your Pokemon. And then like another piece of just data. And then that thing like you got.

[C]

To scan the ghost in your game.

[B]

It got. Scan the ghost in your game. It's real and it's scary. It freaked.

[A]

Yeah, that's scary. On a similar note, it also scares me. Like on the Internet, there's just so much, right? There's that Doom mod that someone made. It's like house. It's something. It's called like Wad House Wad or something like that. But someone.

[C]

Careful what you're typing. Where are you going to get sent?

[A]

But someone in Doom made this house. And you enter and like, it's a regular looking house, but with Doom characters in it. Doom is a classic game from the 80s where it's like a shooter game.

[B]

Like, it's like, do you remember, like the original, like, it was all pixelated and these guys are like, at you and there's a little face in the middle bottom that's like looking around. It's like Wolfenstein or Doom or Duke Nukem.

[C]

Okay, interesting.

[A]

It was like the OG like shooter game, but it was from the 80s, but someone made a mod of it where you go into this house and there's the monsters in there and you're fighting your way through the house and then like you go out a door and then if you go back in, it's suddenly a little different. And basically like what appears as a super small, little, little level of a game that someone made. It keeps. You keep finding more and more and it keeps opening up and the house keeps expanding and they're like, someone made such an extensive, massive crazy thing where eventually you're in these giant open fields and like crazy stuff happening. And everyone's like, yeah, we think it's this one guy who made it, but we're not sure. And it's just like, whoa, what?

[C]

How many gigabytes is this?

[A]

There's a. There is a. There is a. A YouTube video essay on it that's like two hours long where he just plays through the whole thing and it's trippy. And I don't play Doom, but I watched the whole thing and it was eerie the entire time.

[C]

Oh my God.

[A]

And I was like, someone put all their effort into this. I'm like, there's almost like. It's almost like with the Internet and with technology, I'm like, there's almost, like, mad scientists out there. I'm like, someone with a lot of time and with the right dedication, can make something that's like, who made this? Who made this mod? Who made this thing? It's like, we don't really know.

[B]

Like, that's. My most recurring dream, honestly, is, like, I'll always go into a space, and it's always. It's not. But someone will be like, oh, this is, like, my house. Like, I'm. I'm here. Like, I. I own this. Or I'm, like, supposed to be here. This is my new room. I've even had it with, like, smosh. All living in the building. Like, oh, yeah, we're all going into a new room. But then, like, I'll move something, and I'll be like, oh, there's, like, more space back here. And then I'll go into, like, down some stairs. I'll be like, oh, yeah, I forgot. There's the downstairs back.

[A]

Like, stuff is crazy.

[B]

I dream, like, backroom stuff all the time for years.

[A]

Well, yeah, guys, I'm. I'm scared.

[C]

I'm really scared.

[B]

I'm positively scared.

[A]

But we're out of time. Courtney, thank you for. For being here for Halloween.

[C]

Thanks for letting me talk about the things that scare me.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

And agreeing or disagreeing.

[B]

And now you have more fodder for what scares both of us, so you can give us a little fright.

[C]

Yeah. The last thing I was. God, that's right.

[B]

Crazy is I was like, courtney's about to do this. And then when you did, I legit jumped. That was so real.

[A]

All right, happy Halloween, everyone. We'll see you later. Bye.

[C]

Sorry if I scared you.

[B]

If you dare.

[A]

You did scare me, actually.

[B]

I was very frightened.

[C]

And I'm talking to the listeners, not you.

[A]

I pooped my pants.

[B]

I should have been peed.