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A
Hi, welcome to Smash Mouth. I'm Shane.
B
And I'm Amanda.
C
I'm Chance.
B
Yeah. That's all you need to know.
A
We are in a zone. Yeah, we are in a zone. Chance has been in the zone.
C
Slippery zone, a slip zone.
A
Chance has been in the zone all day.
B
He really has.
A
This morning, Chance walked by and he was just like, hey. And I was like, you're in a silly zone. You're in the silly zone.
C
That's what happens when you give me a week off.
A
Yeah, it's true. I needed it.
C
I realized I had not been on, like, a trip or a vacation.
B
And you look stunned. Yes, I'm sunkissed.
A
And then Amanda and I are on the flip where white, white.
B
My skin's like, help. I need sun.
A
Chance, before we started recording, you made a weird sound.
C
Yeah, I tried to recreate it a second ago, but I couldn't do it.
A
You did. You did a sound. It scared our sound guys.
B
Oh, go back into that voice. V. Face voice.
A
No, no, not at all.
B
This is giving doom scream kind of there. This is just.
C
It was so. It was so pure.
A
It was so. You can't. That one's like screechy scratchy.
C
It was like pure.
A
Something came through you.
B
You know what's crazy is you can't repeat a moment like that.
A
You can't do that.
C
You can't repeat a she.
B
I don't know who I am. I feel like I'm multiple things.
A
I'm every woman.
B
It's all in me.
C
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, baby.
B
Oh, I do it naturally.
A
I don't know what you were doing.
B
It's when Spencer called out the toucans
C
on my breasts for our audio listeners, there's a very tiny toucan sitting.
B
There's also a toucan over here.
A
Yeah, we have toucans everywhere. There's one over there. And they'll start singing eventually.
B
Like in those restaurants growing up. Do you remember when it was like, oh, it's moose time?
A
Oh, I was gonna say, like, either Rainforest Cafe or the enchanted Tiki Room at Disneyland. Whoa.
B
So mine was like, not. Mine was like local town. Like, there was only one, and it was like, moose time.
A
Moose.
C
And a moose called.
B
It was like a moose head. And it would turn around and go,
A
well, you folks having dinner? Yeah. And then all those children got murdered there.
B
You're so right. That's where all the missing children are.
C
Don't joke about murder children.
B
Yeah, it's crazy.
A
Yeah. Anyways, we're gonna be playing Smasher Pass.
B
Today it's chances for. Oh, my God. He's so coy right now. If you're listening, Chance is very coy. He doesn't want you to look at him, but he wants you to look at him.
A
Yeah.
B
And we brought him here because he hasn't been on this set. And of course we're gonna play Smasher.
C
Pass. Where's the table?
A
What are you talking about? It's here.
B
Don't. It's right there. That's the table that everyone misses and loves.
C
My smosh mouth table.
A
Me inside a riot. That isn't my smosh mouth table.
C
I speak for the people.
A
Not mine.
B
It's. It's our table. Look at us three.
C
Bring him home.
B
Well, anyway.
A
So anyways. Smash or pass Playing Smash or pass.
B
I'm so glad that you got some time to be in the sun first.
C
Smash or pass. Spinach ravioli.
A
Oh, yeah.
B
Oh, I'd smash the 100.
C
Well, wait till you hear the next one. Three cheese tortellini.
A
Sure.
C
You're all the pastas.
A
Oh, probably.
C
What about some gnocchi?
A
Oh, yeah, definitely. I love gnocchi. Cavatelli. What exactly is cavatelli?
C
Spiral thing. Yum.
A
Delicious little spiral.
B
Like. Like on. On. On. You know those chefs that do it and they just. They. They do it with their palm and they roll it themselves.
C
I actually haven't seen that.
A
Yeah, I think you're making that up.
B
No, it's on chef's table. You can look it up.
C
Okay, so there. Is there any pasta that you wouldn't.
A
Yeah. Is there a pasta that you think is bad?
B
Ziti is fine.
A
Oh, they're going to have your ziti.
B
Ziti is fine.
C
I agree.
B
Shells. Yum. All the cheese.
C
A stuffed shell. Smash. Smash. Smash. Smash. Smash, Smash, Smash.
B
Is there any possibility.
A
How do you guys feel about lasagna?
B
It's very good. Like. Yeah, what specific time?
C
Okay.
A
I. I. You had me thinking. You were like, no, no, of course. Yeah, it's delicious.
B
But, like, there's a time and a
A
place for it, and that time is any.
C
Time is now in the place.
B
What about eggplant parm?
A
I love eggplant. I had eggplant this week.
C
So smash.
B
So smashies.
C
I think there's no pasta that would be.
B
I kind of agree. You want to know? My favorite pasta is angel hair.
A
And I know people think, oh, angel hair rocks.
B
It's so good.
A
It is delicious.
B
Yummy.
A
Mainly with shrimp. A shrimp's like a shrimp scampi or like.
C
Yeah, you guys are making me kind of warm.
A
Dude. Garlic.
B
Oh, good.
A
Okay.
B
On the guest couch. We love that. They love that.
A
Ooh, yeah. Some white wine in there and really cook that up.
C
Shallots.
A
Yeah, some. Some.
B
Some garlic.
A
Parsley.
C
Capers, maybe.
B
Okay, yeah, some capers. Yeah, a little bit of capers. Some salty sea flavors.
C
Okay.
A
Yeah. Very cool.
C
So pasta is just a general.
A
So pasta, I think, across the board. I mean, look, people got mad at me kind of, but I said this, like. I'm like, I don't understand what the difference is between pastas. They're all pasta.
C
That's.
A
It's just shapes. The way they hold the way they hold stuff. But, like, I don't know.
B
My God. That's kind of ignorant. That's what's crazy.
C
You want to see another shape? You.
A
Dude, get him. But I'm saying in a positive way. I like all pastas.
B
Yeah, Same. A little authentic.
A
I like them all.
B
You hurt Chances feeling.
A
And yi is a little different. I was going to make it cuz noi is not. It's not the same pasta material. It's potato. Okay, so I'm just saying that is a little different.
C
Okay, fine. It's a little different. Does that make it any less than Shane?
B
Oh, my God.
C
You really. No, no, no, no.
A
You really love it.
C
Just.
A
You want to sit there and make
C
gnocchi feel different and unworthy just because it has a little bit of potato.
A
He's got a lot of potato.
B
It's a lot. It's like cute little blobs of potato. Yum, yum, yum.
A
That I will eat.
B
It's very different than a pasta experience. Pasta's like.
C
Okay.
A
Whoa. Now, see, I don't. Now I'm not following Amanda here.
B
You put your hands in it.
C
Oh, well, you put your hands in yoki, too. Whoa.
B
You put your hands in yucky, too.
A
Whoa. Hey, Chance, you doing okay?
C
Yeah, I'm okay.
B
Oh, my God. Now you guys are not fighting.
A
I was like, now we turned on you.
B
It's crazy.
A
So that's how it happens. Okay, Are we. Are we in it now? Are we playing Smasher pass or are we.
B
We're playing Smasher Pass.
C
Okay. That attitude. Pass. Sorry. Definitely wasn't a smash. Oh, I'll work on it. Oh, wow. Self improvement. Smash.
A
Smash that.
B
Absolutely, absolutely. Therapy. Smash.
C
Therapy. Smash.
A
Oh, yeah. But therapist pass. Yeah, not a good move. Not a good move. Smash up therapist do not want to do that.
B
I kind of agree.
A
No.
B
What would it be like to date a therapist?
A
I think it would be really to date A therapist. But you legally cannot date your own therapist, and that is a bad move.
C
What? Really?
B
Yeah.
A
Yeah. They can't have relations with therapist. Who's going to stop me? How you going to stop me, boo? Well, they'll get fired.
B
Violates all their.
A
They'll get fired and everything.
B
You'll be fine.
A
Yeah, maybe.
B
But.
A
What? I think. I think it probably is not good for you mentally. Yeah, it's confusing.
B
But, like, to marry a therapist would be real tough.
C
Mmm.
B
Yeah, right? Or maybe it wouldn't.
A
Maybe it would. I don't know. Well, I'm sure people say the thing.
C
Same thing about a comedian.
B
They definitely say that about a comedian.
A
Comedian.
C
Pass.
B
Pass.
A
Whoa.
B
Married to a comedian. Pass. Pass. Damn.
C
What are you saying?
A
I don't know. I never. I never dated a comedian. I guess, I mean, like, your wife is. How well are you. Okay, I thought you're talking like, stand up comedian. Oh, like comedian. Like, you're talking like.
B
Just. Just.
A
Well, then, yeah, I guess I did marry a comedian.
B
He doesn't think it's always funny.
A
I do not do that.
C
It got too real.
A
I thought you were talking about stand up comedy.
C
Okay, so passing his wife is funny as brutal.
A
That's not true. Passing at all.
B
That whole. That sh. Yeah.
A
This episode of Smoshmouth is sponsored by Rocket Money. Amanda, you wouldn't believe this, but I have a few transactions that I accidentally forgot about.
B
Forgot about? What do you mean?
A
I mean, I was subscribed to a few things that kept charging me every month, and I forgot to cancel them. Before I knew it, I was spending way too much money. That's why I started to use Rocket Money.
B
I thought Rocket Money just helped you with budgets.
A
Well, yes, it can categorize purchases, help you stay on budget, but. But Rocket Money can track subscriptions and has the ability to cancel unwanted ones within the app. With a few taps, they have saved users over $880 million in canceled subscriptions.
B
Whoa. That's incredible. I'm really, really happy that your wallet is feeling a little bit more full. So, you know, maybe we do Lunch. Your treat.
A
Whoa. Just because Rocket Money's app consolidates checkings, savings loans, and investments into a single dashboard to give me a clear view of my financial picture, doesn't mean you can take my lunch money.
B
Take a breath, honey.
A
Well, seriously, Rocket Money has saved me so much over the years, I really don't let any subscriptions fly past me.
B
Yeah, you tell them.
A
I am. I am checking that app. I'm making sure that everything I'm paying for. I'm aware of, boss. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join@Rocket Money.com Smoshmouth that's RocketMoney.com Smoshmouth RocketMoney.com Smoshmouth Just kidding. Let's do lunch and dinner. My treat.
B
Yay. Daddy's paying. Yay, daddy.
A
Wow. Back to the show.
B
I was trying something.
A
You really did. I have. I have. I made a list. I think we all made lists.
B
I have a list.
C
I have a list.
A
I have some legitimate questions to ask.
C
Okay.
B
Okay.
A
Cuz it's not just a thing that everybody universally likes.
B
Here's. Here's mine.
C
Okay.
B
A friend who says they're bored all the time.
A
Oh yeah, pass on that. That's annoying as.
B
No, I hate that.
A
I hate that.
C
Okay, Smash. I'll give you something to do.
A
Whoa. What if halfway through they're like
B
what you say?
A
What if halfway through they're like, I'm bored.
C
Flip over.
B
Okay. And then when they flip over.
C
Shouldn't have asked Shane.
B
And then when they flip over and they go, I'm bored.
C
I pull out the mirror. Come on. Now it's getting sexy up in here.
A
We gotta go to the next. Okay.
B
Okay.
A
You keep leveling it up.
B
Okay. I like that. So a friend who's bored. Chance will smash that.
C
Just all flustered.
A
My bad.
C
HR get in here.
B
I love it. Someone who texts lol.
C
Heavy and hot in here.
A
Oh yeah, sure.
C
Everyone.
A
A lot of people do that. I don't judge people for something like that.
C
I'm in smash.
A
Yeah. Why not?
B
Yeah. I'm a half smash. I know you text LOL sometimes. It doesn't bother me that much.
C
You can't be half smash. It is smash.
A
Yeah, it is. There are two options and you can't say both.
B
I half smash it.
C
No, you can't.
A
It's.
C
It's smash.
B
I come in and I go, okay,
C
half smash it, then half smash that button.
A
You fully click smash.
B
Fine, I'll smash lol. Because it seems like there's a lot of people I wouldn't be able to smash because everyone texts everyone.
A
That's like almost everyone.
B
I don't love it because I'm like, really?
A
What do you text? Hahaha. I love now when I have my earpods in and how Siri will read out your texts. And it's like your mom texted in the family group chat.
B
You can stop that.
A
I know what I.
B
But you like it.
A
No, I've stopped it.
C
Oh, I'm big on laugh reacting. A laugh react. A love react. A like react or different.
B
Em. I like that too.
A
Yeah, that stuff is good.
C
It's really good.
B
It says all that you need to say.
A
Yes.
B
Do you remember the one that wasn't a thing you, like, couldn't react to things. That was tough. But I will say, sometimes my friend, she reacts to every single text on a text thread, and that gets tough. It's like, oh, she comes. It's like a train coming in.
A
Have you ever been part of a group chat where one person got removed?
C
Yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely.
B
Why did they get removed again, like, for you?
A
I didn't say that. I just said I asked a question. I didn't mean, like, specifically. I've been a part of several, so. Good man. I. That's never happened.
B
That didn't happen to me.
A
No, I don't think so, but I would think that's brutal.
B
Or, like, left the group.
A
Yeah, I've never seen that happen either.
B
I have.
A
I mean, I'm mainly in my family group chat.
B
Oh, when you're on an improv team. Oh, daddy.
A
Yikes.
C
Oh, my God. When someone leaves your comedy group, it's tough. It's tough.
B
Like, no more. No more GIFs.
C
Okay.
A
I could do one.
B
Yeah.
A
Okay. Legitimately legitimate question. If vampires were real.
B
Smash the out.
A
Okay, I'm talking, like, they're real. You need to tell me what type,
C
dude, because there are so many narcissists.
B
We like, like, we like them like
C
the ones from Legend.
B
No, no, nasty.
A
Okay, the one.
B
The ones from True Blood.
A
Okay, how about, like, Interview with. How about, like, yeah, like, classic Interview with the Vampire. Like, they sleep in coffins, but they are pretty long.
B
Long, long hair.
A
Long hair, but they are evil. And you kind of know that. You're kind of aware, like, maybe you know of someone. They're like, yeah, vampires are real and they are killing people.
B
If they have long hair and. And they're shirtless, usually they're not really that evil. That's the thing about them. The ones who are the prettiest are actually the most. The least evil.
C
I've slept with gays from Brooklyn, so I'm okay with evil. Wait, do you remember that movie Gays from Brooklyn?
B
No. Vampire in Brooklyn or whatever it's called, Right?
A
No, that's a movie. I don't know it.
B
Anyways, pretty cool.
A
I'm thinking, like, Lestat. From Interview with the Vampire.
C
I'm thinking, like, the one. The little vampire. His dad.
A
Oh, okay. Yeah.
C
Not the little.
A
Like, I was like, okay, I'm. I'm maybe gonna follow you. So I'm thinking, Smash, so you'd be okay with the wrist.
B
But let me be real. I get really grossed out by the feeding situation.
C
Well, okay, well, that's kind of the whole thing.
B
I know. So I would struggle. I would struggle with that.
A
Okay, fine.
B
I would have. I would have a problem with that.
A
Fine.
C
Okay, okay, I've got one. Hold on.
B
Let me look while you're looking. Brunch invite.
A
Yeah.
C
Smash.
A
I love brunch.
B
I'm a pass.
A
You don't like brunch? Really?
B
I'm not a brunch.
A
You don't like brunch?
B
No, no.
A
I. I just enjoy food.
B
I love food, but brunch, a waste. I think.
A
What the.
B
I love cooking breakfast is like, I love around with breakfast. So I'm just kind of like, why would I give you $80? And I left with a hangover and it's 1pm does that make me negative about brunch?
C
Yes.
A
I feel like I love making breakfast
C
too, but, like, I like making breakfast.
A
But brunch has so many options.
C
Only on the weekends.
A
Yeah. And it's like, man. Then you can get, like, really cool.
C
Ah.
A
Like, depending on the spot, really.
C
Some.
A
Some really good food. Oh, man. Some. Some. What is it? Is it shakshuka? The.
B
Oh, I love that. That dish is delicious.
A
And if you're going to make that at home, you're going to have too much for yourself. So, like, that dish is delicious. Yeah. See him?
B
See, I'd rather walk to an awesome coffee shop and, like, sit down and have, like, a pastry and a coffee and, like.
C
Okay, fair.
A
You don't have to go to brunch every day.
B
Anytime I talk about not liking brunch, I do get, like, a pretty aggressive response.
A
You are in Los Angeles. I know. This has got to be. Is there a city that's, you know,
B
worked way too many brunches?
C
That's fair.
A
Okay. It's put a bad taste in your mouth. I'm not a fan necessarily of the drinks. I'm not like, I don't. I don't like to get, like, drunk at brunch. I like. I'm there for the food.
B
To me, I'm like, if I'm going to brunch, I'm getting. I'm getting drinks.
C
A Hugo Spritz.
B
Oh, delicious.
C
Saint Germain.
B
Saint Germain champagne. Yeah.
A
See, the brunch. A lot of the brunch drinks are a little too sweet, and Bloody Mary's are a little too much for me, too.
B
Fire.
A
I'd like one, but I don't want many. Give me an apple spritz. But I love coffee, so I'll have coffee. Maybe I'll get an espresso martini. I know that's more. Isn't that funny how that's more of an afternoon drink? But it should be a brunch drink.
B
I agree, because it's.
C
I recently had a frozen hazelnut espresso martini.
A
It was absolutely delectable.
B
Oh, my God, that's yummy. What is happening?
C
Damn.
A
Okay, like, I am scared.
B
This man came on this podcast.
C
Okay, next. Okay.
B
You.
A
You.
C
Fettuccine Alfredo.
B
Well, so we're back. Yeah, I actually am gonna pass.
A
I was saying this earlier. I'm out of an Alfredo. There we go.
C
Now we're getting really honest. You guys were like, smash all pastas.
A
And, well, the pastas, as their shapes are fine, but. But I'm thinking more of a red sauce on it.
C
Yeah.
A
Give me some flavor. I'm not a cream sauce person either. Not typically.
C
Except that pistachio pasta that we shared. I know you weren't really into it.
A
I was.
B
Oh, yeah, Yeah. I wasn't super into it.
A
I really like.
B
But I do love sharing food with you so much.
C
Yeah.
A
All right, Delicious. We're back to me. Mermaids exist.
C
Okay.
A
Mermaids, Mermaids.
B
Mermaids exist. Smash your past.
A
How does that look? You are at the ocean, and a pretty. Like, a beautiful. And you don't get to know they're in the ocean. They're in the ocean. They swim up. You just see their torso. They're gorgeous. Okay.
C
Male mermaids have penis. We. We don't.
A
Again, they're just kind of like, hey,
C
I got to risk it.
B
So do you jump in the water and they, like, give you something so you can breathe underwater? And then that's how it gets.
A
I think it's like you can be,
B
like, kind of like you're both surface.
A
Maybe you're, like, kind of in a lagoon. Lagoon, yeah. So maybe you can kind of be up. But it's like, all right. Like, you have to accept before they come on to land, like, and you're kind of, like, going to maybe, like, get crazy on the sand right there.
B
How often have you thought I was
A
thinking of options today while I was coming up with stuff for this episode? So I was thinking about scenarios. It's like, okay, Would you be like, all right, I'm going to entertain this?
B
He, like, knows the name of the mermaid.
A
So Aral comes up to the Aral,
C
and he's like, a hot male.
B
Her name needs to be, like, crystal.
A
Whatever. The human part of the mermaid gets to be. Whatever.
C
Do I get to pick the color mermaid?
A
Yeah, sure, sure.
C
Yes. Okay, then I'm in.
B
What color?
A
A teal.
C
I thought you were.
B
Wait, yeah, me too.
C
Me too.
B
I was like, damn. Okay.
A
What?
B
I thought you meant, like,
A
like there. It's like, what?
C
Yeah, he's Korean and teal. Duh. My mermaid is Korean and teal, hands down. And you know what? I'll do, like, Korean and black or Korean and white too.
A
That's cool with me.
B
That's why I was like, do I get to pick the color?
A
And I was like, yeah, sure.
C
Teal.
A
And I was like, okay, okay.
B
Korean and teal. Awesome.
C
Great. So smash.
A
Yeah.
B
Honestly, Smash.
A
Yeah.
B
Oh, no.
A
You figure it out.
B
His eyes are wet again.
A
Yeah.
B
Smash. But here's the deal. They can't really breathe on land for that long.
A
I think they. Yeah, they can.
C
I don't make the rules.
A
I think they can.
B
Look, I feel like it might be a little awkward for them to come on land and then come on land.
A
Nice.
C
You know what?
A
It's just as awkward for us to be in the ocean with them.
B
So true.
C
Not me. I'm a natural born swimmer.
B
Chance is just like.
C
I'm like, paddling. I'm like doggy paddling.
B
Teal. Okay, so we've all agreed.
A
Okay, so smash on mermaids.
C
Smash.
B
What color would you choose?
A
I don't care. I think that's the standard teal. Feels like the common, like mermaid.
B
I would want mine to be, like, iridescent.
C
Don't ever call my mermaid common again.
A
I feel like it's always like the blue green type of, like, iridescent. Iridescent. I'll go with more. Okay, fine. More standard blue.
C
You fool.
B
You fool. Or like pearl.
C
Oh, white.
B
The tail.
C
She's like, white and pearl black.
A
And here we go.
B
That's not what I said. I hate this mermaid question. Pass on YouTube.
A
Okay. You got anything else?
B
I have so much. Are you kidding me?
A
I feel like all of your things are just really nice things. You're just like, having a million dollars. It's like, yeah, smash.
B
Yeah, smash.
A
What do you want me to say?
C
Shut up.
A
Okay, okay. John Travolta, is it Director John Travolta, which. With his beret.
C
Which. That's the One.
A
No, I'm gonna pass.
B
No, it's not that John.
C
I'm actually passing any John Travolta.
A
Yeah.
B
Okay.
A
Is there, Is there a movie of John Travolta that you're gonna.
B
Honestly, I watched Greece recently and I got, I got a big old ick. I'm not into it.
A
I've always. Yeah, there's always like a bit of a silly vibe.
B
There's something.
C
I've never thought he was hot.
B
Yeah. Okay. I guess these.
A
But in the 70s, people, that was it.
C
Yeah, they were doing Quds too, so. Shane, how much can I really.
B
My God.
A
They weren't in their right mind. Like, that's how you get John Travolta.
B
Okay. Classical music.
A
Oh, yeah. Smash. I love classical music.
B
That is.
A
Isn't that a Christmas song?
C
No. Okay. Sorry. And Smash.
B
Same. Okay. I guess mine aren't that good, but that's okay.
A
No, I love, I love classical music.
C
I've got one.
B
Love violins.
A
Yeah.
C
A fennel sausage tagliatelli.
B
Yum. Delicious.
A
That sounds incredible.
B
I love fennel sausage. Smash.
A
I just was going to say any Italian style food? I'm probably going to say smash too. Like I'll eat it.
C
Okay.
B
Okay.
C
A poop ravioli.
A
Okay, now what?
C
Shane, are you eating?
A
Not a classic Italian diarrhea ravioli.
C
It's northern Italian.
A
It's Northern Italian.
B
Northern Italian.
A
Our one. Northern Italian listeners.
C
Like what? It's like, what the hell?
A
Okay, sorry. What?
C
The head sh. No,
B
I liked it.
C
Thank you.
B
Someone who texts with a smiley face often.
C
Like the.
B
Not the emoji, just the smiley face. The dot, dot side smile.
C
Smash. Yeah, it's a little ironic.
A
Smash. I don't care.
B
Okay.
A
What? Do I hate it?
B
No, I, I, I hated it. And then I realized that I was like, being cynical. So I'm gonna say I hate it when people use it with like a. We need you on top of that. Thanks.
C
Fair.
B
Has to be. It has to be in the right spot.
A
Fair.
B
Know what I'm saying?
C
Yeah, I do know what you're saying.
B
Swallow that yawn.
A
I yawn sometimes also when I'm laughing hysterically.
B
Sir, you better swallow that yawn because
A
I'm not getting enough oxygen to my brain. This episode of Smosh Mouth is sponsored by Stitch Fix. Speaking of Stitch Fix, I've seen your fits lately. You've been looking great, Amanda.
B
Thank you. I was gonna say the same about you, and I mean it.
A
Well, I have a personal stylist.
B
Wait, I have a personal stylist.
A
Shut up. Is it someone from Stitch Fix?
B
It sure is. Wait, how about all of you? Do you guys have a personal stylist? I think that we should let the crew know what we're talking about.
A
Good call, Amanda. They look like they could use a little help.
B
I literally didn't say that. Guys, you all look great. How dare you?
A
Look, it's super easy. You fill out a form that says your style, budget, and size. Then you get paired up with your stylist, who is a human. They pick out the best outfits. The next thing you know, you have a fix box delivered straight to your door.
B
And whatever you try on and don't like, you send back free shipping and returns. It's so easy.
A
I love having a personal stylist because I am really bad at seeing clothes and knowing if it would work for me and making cohesive outfits. And Stitch Fix streamlines this whole process. Get started today@stitch fix.com smosh to get $20 off your first order. That's stitch fix.com smosh. Back to the show.
B
Let's go.
C
Okay. Crushed ice.
A
Pass.
B
Smash. Motherfucker. So good in tiki drinks.
A
Okay. A certain type. Yeah, that's fair. But for the most part, like, I'm thinking about, like, water.
B
No, no, no.
A
Because some diners do like the crushed ice.
B
I love crushed ice.
A
I love my favorite. What's our favorite ice here?
C
Sonic ice?
A
Gigantic big cube. Oh, actually, big rock. Big rock.
B
Big rock.
A
Big rock.
B
Clear.
A
Clear. Cube.
B
Those are hard to. Those are hard to make.
A
I can make to make them what I make regular ice. Then I just go. No. There's a type of device that you get. It's not that expensive or anything. You just have a nice.
B
Just, like, drips through.
A
It's got space kind of underneath. It's awesome. It's not as easy as just like,
C
you know, I think I'm passing on crushed ice.
A
Good. Same.
B
Making out in the car. That's not even on my list. That was improvised.
C
Pass. And I'm the horness when it's mosh. But like, the car, the seat belt gets in the way. Then the middle thing is getting in the way. Then the back seat is not comfortable
A
to lay down in.
B
No, you can fit. I think it's a smash.
C
Weirdly, no.
B
I think it's a smash. I think it's cute.
C
I'd rather go up to your bedroom. Like, what are we doing in the car?
B
What if you're. What if you're parked at the beach?
C
Then go sit. Go to the beach.
A
There's probably Always a better location. Yeah, it's like, why are you. You are in the place.
C
You're, like, in transit.
A
You're in the car and you're like, the ocean looks really amazing.
B
Yeah. Please don't tell me that you kiss like that, Shane.
A
Okay. I'm joking.
C
Also, one of my pet peeves is being in transit in general.
B
Is what?
A
Just being in transit. Yeah. I don't like traveling to a thing. Actually, sometimes I do. Sometimes, like, driving to the beach is a fun experience because you're like, wow, I'm going to a cool thing.
B
Being on a train is really cool.
A
Oh, well, trains are a different thing. That is the location.
B
Yeah.
C
I would rather be at the next place.
B
Oh, so he doesn't like.
A
So he's impatient.
B
Journey.
A
Yeah.
B
He just gets to the destination.
A
Did you know that it's not about,
B
you know, if you go out in the mountain and you look at all the peaks, the peaks are what it's about. It's not about the top of the mountain. It's about the genie. Anne Hathaway.
A
Yeah.
C
Smash.
A
Smash. What are you. Okay, what are we. What are we talking about here?
B
Nice.
A
The most gorgeous woman in Hollywood. It's just like. Yeah, okay.
B
Okay, then Demi Moore. What?
A
Once again. What is this once again?
C
You.
A
You looked up. You looked up. You looked up list of hottest women and you're like, okay, smash or pass? It's like, if I was like, smash or pass? George Clooney, Brad Pitt.
B
I wouldn't list a hot man. I would pass on Brad Pitt right now.
A
Yeah, no, that's fair. Okay, that's fair, that's fair.
B
Okay.
A
But Demi Moore and. And Hathway are not comparable to that.
B
No, I know. They're hot.
C
Can I see his dick first?
A
Did so much.
C
Which ones? I just got a spit take in the room.
A
Everyone.
B
What?
A
Spit out their drink.
B
And who's. Whose dick are you asking about?
C
George Clooney.
A
That was fully insane. I don't know if you guys heard it as well as I did. I did. Straight up. That. That was so good. Oh, my God. You caught someone off guard.
B
Good.
C
Yeah. HR Okay.
B
I think George is probably going to keep it wrapped up until. Pass. Okay, Pass. Fine.
A
Okay.
B
Random burgers.
C
What?
A
Random burgers. You're talking about a smash burger.
C
No, you were literally.
B
I don't mean random burgers.
A
Random burgers. Oh, my God.
C
You were doing like. This one's so random.
A
Okay, so like, random burgers.
C
They're all random.
A
Okay, so, like, random. You guys are gonna be really random.
C
Right now. Wait, watch.
B
I was on set yesterday having a thousand people talk to me, and me going like, smash her also.
C
I'm so sorry. Qualifying burgers as the most random thing is. Okay, guys, I'm gonna be really random right now. Burgers. Burgers.
B
You guys are dead to me.
A
Okay, sorry.
C
Smash burgers, obviously.
A
Yeah. Smash burgers. Okay. It's literally a category. 1,000% burgers are.
B
I don't like burgers.
C
Is there any past burger, like. No. No.
B
Yes. Big, sloppy, nasty burgers that are, like, rare. Gross city.
C
Yeah. A big giant poop burger. I guess I'm passing.
A
Okay, yeah. If you categorize it like that.
B
All burgers.
A
Are you not a fan of burgers?
B
No.
A
What?
C
Whoa.
A
Do you like hot dogs?
B
Yeah.
C
Okay.
B
Delish.
C
Okay. No brunch, no burgers.
A
There's no place.
B
Burgers, like, kind of effed me up. I don't know. Years ago, I had a burger with, like, blue cheese on it, and I got destroyed for the rest of my life.
A
Blue cheese on burgers. I do hate that. That's a pass.
B
It was a big.
A
That's a very different thing.
B
It was a black and blue.
A
Yeah, but don't have that.
B
I know, but I messed.
A
I don't get that.
C
Listen to this. I'm putting. I'm taking the beef, doing a medium rare, some blue cheese, arugula, and, like, a bacon jam or an onion jam.
A
See, I'm not into that. I'm not into that stuff. I'm into the classic burger and a
C
tomato, too, I think.
B
Like a classic burger on a grill at a barbecue. Sounds like I would doable, but I'd rather have a chicken sandwich.
A
Okay. Like a fried chicken sandwich.
B
Yeah, yeah.
C
Now we talking. Smash. Smash. Smash.
B
You know? Yeah.
A
Okay, I got one.
B
Okay, great.
A
Okay. You can tell it was me trying desperately to think of stuff for this. And I was on a different journey than you guys because I have a vampire, a mermaid, and then followed by that is a robot, and it's like, okay, they build, like, full.
B
Like, how would you do it?
A
They got a port. No, like, if. They build if in the.
C
If.
A
Okay. Put yourself in an alternate scenario.
C
Right, yeah, of course.
A
Where it's like, all right.
C
They.
A
They built them. There's robots, and they're walking around, and they look like people, and there's robots. They're like. Yeah. And that robot, Shane, I'm gonna tell you right now, future is now here.
B
Well, they're dancing at conventions. They're out.
A
Well, they're dancing horribly.
B
They are and they're tripping.
A
That one that was doing Thriller.
B
Did you see that robot doing Thriller?
A
Yeah, he fucked up and he tripped and he died.
C
Yeah.
A
Wait, he did died? He tripped and he died on stage. And they came and they carried him out. And I'm like, yeah, the robots have failed. You're not going to beat us.
B
Going to remake him.
C
I think I'm passing on the robot.
B
Yeah.
A
You're going to be scared of the robots. Yeah.
C
Yeah.
B
What about you?
A
Scary. Yeah, like Westworld.
B
Yeah, that show messed me up.
A
Yeah, pass like they made. They make west. Like. Okay, yeah, Smasher pass. They make a Westworld type like amusement park where there's robots and they're so human like that, you can't tell. But it's like, you know, they're robots,
C
the ones that have sentience, that get out and have free will, then. Yes.
A
Oh, you need them to have full intelligence.
C
I would hope. Like, like they are self aware, that is giving consent.
A
Yeah, Yes, I, I know, but like this is a. Like you want it to be a fully conscious, alive thing, like, as opposed to. I'm talking about like robots. It's not like a machine. It's a. You want like a.
C
What's the difference? If you can't tell, does it matter? Okay, that's a Westworld quote.
B
Wow. Somebody has watched.
A
Somebody remembered it because they wiped it clean from everything. Not my.
C
Did they?
A
Yeah. Got removed from everything.
B
What?
A
Yes, they removed it off hbo.
B
And why again?
A
Because it's too cheaper, real cheaper for them to just.
C
No way. That's a lie.
A
Not kidding. I watched. Yeah. I love that show.
B
Of that show. That shows crazy.
C
Yeah.
A
I think I'm a pass in general.
B
Yeah.
A
It's scary.
B
So weird. One of the robots who got. Who I guess got free or left. I. When I was at a Muay Thai gym, she was there and it was so bizarre for me. She was so nice, so gorgeous in person. And I was like, you're a robot.
A
You're a robot.
B
You're a robot. Yeah, that was wild. But yeah.
A
And that was Marshawn lynch,
C
one of my. You guys. My improv troupe in college.
B
The one that you wrote that sketch with, that we read on Smash Mouth.
C
Star studded. It's like crazy. But one of the guys was writing and directing the last season of Westworld. Whoa.
A
Out of 70.
B
The one with the guy from Breaking Bad.
A
Do you remember Aaron Paul?
C
It was Wes Humphrey. What?
B
Remember the. The Westworld where Aaron Paul was in it? I think that was the last season.
C
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
B
Oh, wow. In la. Amazing. Yeah, that. That. That was like downtown la, right? Yeah, that's.
C
He directed those and wrote some of them. Yeah.
B
Oh, that was epic.
C
It was really cool.
A
I never watched that season, but there's some fun ones.
C
There's one where he's taking, like, a drug that, like, makes you do different genres.
A
Cool.
C
So they go through, like, different genres of movies.
B
Movie. That was a. That was a really cool season.
C
I wanted that drug.
B
I know. That seemed really fun.
C
It, like, makes you, like, go film noir or like.
B
Yeah, it was also, like, wild how much they filmed downtown. They must have shut down everything.
A
Yeah. Crazy.
B
Yeah.
A
Damn.
C
Wow. Okay.
B
Star studded comedy troupe.
C
Oh, yeah. Ava. Victor, too.
A
Okay, here we go.
C
Heirloom carrots.
B
Don't know what those are.
A
Yeah, that's an absolute smash for me.
C
Yeah, me too.
B
Are they like the tiny, cute little ones?
C
Just not anything but like, there's purple carrots.
B
Oh, yeah.
C
White ones.
B
I love purple carrots.
A
Yeah.
C
So smash.
B
Smash.
A
I love carrots.
B
100%.
A
I love vegetables in general. They're probably my favorite, like, category of food. Really? Dude, I'm obsessed with vegetables.
C
Are there any that you would be a pass?
A
I don't think so.
C
Green beans for me.
A
I love green beans. I really like all vegetables. I love green beans. Yeah, I. There's not many. No, I can't think of many vegetables that I don't love.
B
They put green beans on a plate and they're just like, this is what.
A
What we have.
B
And you're like, okay. They're like. They're garlicky and you're like, oh, I love that.
A
Oh, man.
B
What's your favorite vegetable?
C
Ooh, broccolini.
A
Broccoli is really great.
B
Broccolini is so good.
A
Brussels sprouts can be killer.
B
I was going to say mine.
A
Yeah, that's like a butternut squash.
C
Is that.
A
Oh, yeah. Squash is nice.
C
O.
A
A spaghetti squash. Crazy fire bell peppers. You throw bell peppers on a grill.
B
That's naughty.
A
Naughty Squash rocks, squash. I'm probably listing things that are technically like, someone was gonna be like, that's not technically a vegetable, but you know what I mean? See overall vibe of stuff. Yeah, man. Love them all.
B
Okay.
A
Truly and carrots are there.
B
I love carrots.
C
Okay, this one's gonna upset some people.
A
Okay.
C
Little Sally Walker.
A
What is that?
B
Yes, please show us.
A
Okay, so people listening. He's. He's dancing around the table. He's skipping around in front of me. She said, hey, chances dancing in front of me. Hey, girl, do you see, this is
B
Shane at a strip club. Straight up.
A
I switch with you. And then now I get up and I. And I. I.
C
Little Sally Walker walking down.
B
Oh, God.
C
She didn't know what to do, so she stepped in front of me. She said, hey, you can do any dance. Hey, girl, do your thing. Do your thing and switch.
B
We want you to get on the bride. Oh, fine.
A
I don't know. I. I don't know how this goes.
B
I'll switch with you.
C
Okay.
B
Take my phone with me.
A
Shit.
C
So smash your pass.
A
So we're in a new space. I'm going to pass on that.
C
You.
B
This was you when Chance was dancing around you.
A
You have never looked more uncomfortable. Could you tell immediately that I've never gone to, like, a strip club or anything? That I'm just like.
B
You were like, okay, now what we need to do with. You've never been.
A
Never went to ubujab.
C
You've been to a strip club.
B
Yeah, like three times. Guys, I am the coolest you've ever met in your life.
C
That's cool.
A
Yeah, I just. Random.
B
Random burger.
A
Random burger.
B
I would do anything.
A
Such a random burger.
B
This is a random burger.
C
I'm not strong enough.
A
Okay, okay, guys, in the next. Whenever we have, like, another writers meeting or another episode of anything with any other cast, we should sneak it in. Okay? This is our secret. O3.
C
Okay?
A
We need to seek. Sneak random burger into things without being called.
B
Slip it in.
A
We can't. We can't call each other out because we're 3 aware. But imagine we're in bored AF with, like, Angela and, like, Spencer, and you gotta be like, okay, so this is like, such a random burger. But, like, what if.
B
Wait, we're gonna slip it in as, like, a phrase or slip it in as, like, an idea.
A
Just the word.
C
Just the word. Just the word. Like, we were, like, casually.
A
That you got to try to slip it by without, like, Angela or Trevor
B
or someone being, oh, my God, that's a random burger.
A
Just say random burger.
B
I love.
A
That sucks. People are gonna think it's like an
B
animated show or something.
A
No, I think it's kind of like. Like, you know, there's nothing burger, but I'm gonna say random burger.
C
Or, like, awkward turtle.
B
Awkward, awkward turtle.
A
Very random.
C
This is kind of a random burger.
A
But, yeah, that sucks.
C
Oh, that sucks, people.
B
Hurts my teeth. It hurts my teeth thinking about it.
C
Okay, I'm gonna try to do it. All right. I'm gonna try to. I was gonna say get it off on spinster. I'M gonna try to get a random burger off of Christ. Okay, I'm done with that.
A
Do you want to swap back? How do you feel?
B
Do you want to swap back?
A
I don't know. I'm looking over and I feel like the crew looks stressed.
B
They do. Like, Selena's going.
A
The crew is upset. They don't know how to handle this. We can switch if you prepped all day.
B
The only way we have to switch back those. You have to do the stripper thing on me again.
C
No.
A
What the hell?
B
I just like seeing Shane be like,
A
all right, fine.
C
Little Sally Walker walking down the street. She didn't know what to do.
A
I think I would. I think I would be so awkward at a strip club.
C
I'm so awkward when I go to shows.
B
I love shows.
A
I love going to shows, but I
C
don't like when they're, like, doing a lot of audience shit.
A
I'm like, I'm not an interactive audience member. I want to sit. If I go to a show of any kind, I want to sit and enjoy the show.
B
Remember when we went to the pirate show forever ago with everybody and they kept trying to get us involved in everything? That was really tough.
A
Be like, no, no, thanks.
B
I don't want to be involved in the show. I don't really. I don't want to be brought up on stage.
C
Yeah.
B
Magic show. I'd be more inclined, but still.
A
Yeah. Because in a magic show, you get to be really, like, a stupid participant.
B
Yeah.
A
You walk up in there and they just kind of hand things to you and you just.
C
Not me. I start out magicking the magician.
A
You're like. You, like, have a fireball in your hand.
B
They just look at you and be
C
like, no, they would.
B
Like, in this guy.
C
They would be afraid of my aura.
A
They probably would be like, oh, my God.
C
This guy has innate magical powers.
B
Being front row at a theater.
A
Pass. My God. So being row at a theater sucks.
B
I don't hate it. It depends. And I don't hate it.
A
They all look like Megamind.
C
I think I'm down.
B
Yeah.
C
Especially because most theaters you can't really see.
B
I think it's, like, really cool to be that close to the actors.
A
Are we talking about, like, a play or a movie? I was thinking a play.
B
No way.
A
A play. Front row. Sure.
B
No way. Movie.
A
Yeah. I was thinking movie.
C
Movie. I'll go to row C, and that's the farthest closed socket.
B
Oh, Rosie. Is even too close for me.
C
It's just nice late at night when I. I go Sometimes I go to the movies by myself, and I'll just.
B
Yeah, yeah. That is.
A
What's the optimal row?
C
H. H. It's pretty good.
A
E. I am a G and an H person.
B
G and H. And I would say not exactly centered, just a little off so you're not stuck in the center when the movie's over.
C
I'm okay sitting in the center.
A
I, I. I sit pretty close to the center. G and H, though. I went and saw back rooms this past weekend, and I was G10. Pretty prime, and it was like, I. There was not many seats available. I was by myself for it, and there was one seat right there in the middle of one of these rows by myself.
B
Yeah. Spooky one.
A
Oh, yeah. I like seeing movies by myself.
B
Do you like horror movies? I was gonna smash or pass horror movies. Now I know you're smash.
A
Smash.
B
Smash.
A
Selena, hit us with another.
B
What about Fidget Toys? Depends.
A
I've never had a fidget toy, but I. I definitely see advertisements for him, and I think, like, that's pretty cool.
C
I'm smash on Fidget Toys.
B
Yeah.
C
Look at my hands right now. Look at all my rings that I'm, like, playing with. Like, I cannot stop.
B
I'm always playing with my rings. I. I have a ring that is literally like a fidget toy. Yeah. Most of my rings are Fidget toys.
A
I mean, the first couple episodes of the show, everyone was talking about how
B
I was just constantly, like, I was talking about it.
C
Oh, my God. One of your. Okay, I have tea on you a little bit. It's not tea. It's just something that I clocked.
B
So it's tea that he has by himself on you. That's tea.
C
Do you want it?
A
Yes. You can't say that. Me be like, I don't want to hear this. And then I never know. Get to know. Okay.
C
One of your acting things, when you're starting to learn. Do you know what I'm gonna say?
A
No.
C
One of your acting things when you're still learning lines is you'll hold a backpack that's not there.
A
Funny.
C
I clocked it in hospital and sitcom,
A
and you will do this. So for hospital, I was holding a fake stethoscope.
C
Oh, fake stethoscope.
B
I love.
A
Like, I. Because I just need to do something with my hands, but it's over here. Well, stethoscope you're holding. You're holding. When you're holding a stethoscope.
C
Interesting.
A
You'll hold fake for hospital. I would. I would definitely, like, do space work.
B
What else?
A
I think, like. But no, that. That is a real thing I was doing for hospital while we were rehearsing is I. Did you ever have a stethoscope? Yeah, for that scene I had. I actually, when we finally did the scene, I had, like, other stuff in my hands. I had a clipboard and things, but I just knew that I was gonna have stuff in my hand. So I was trying to learn.
B
Do you learn lines better when you are able to connect with the prop?
A
I don't think so, but it's certainly probably to this day and over the course of auditioning and stuff, one of my biggest struggles is still, what do you do with your hands? Auditions are so hard because you don't have props, but you're trying to, like.
B
It is so hard when you don't have props when you're auditioning to this
A
day, like, people for anyone who's aspiring to be an actor, like, acting classes talk so much about, like, you know, the emotions and all these things, but when it comes down to an audition, it's like, what the fuck should I do for this space work that it's talking about in this audition? And it's like, yeah, but it's.
C
It.
A
It never feels great. It. For me, at least, I'm always. Or when it's like, there's multiple characters in a. In a scene for an audition, you're like, all right, so this eyeline is going to be here.
B
That eyeliner is really, really tough.
C
I'm big on space work.
B
Me, too.
C
I will get up in that space work. Not there. There is. I will open that shit and get things out and, like, close it behind me and set it on the floor. During an audition.
A
Especially an audition.
C
Or like, if you're thinking about, like, where are you in the space? No one is just like, yeah, so
A
what can you look at?
C
Or what can you see?
B
And that's the thing that they, like, kind of when you go in, there's nothing. It's like a blank slate you have to, like, bring. Because I. I learned early on that if I'm ever doing a character, I am way more grounded in a character if I have a prop. So, like, pretty much all my characters have prop props.
A
Yeah.
C
Magical item.
B
Every single one of them. And I'm way more grounded in it.
A
It helps a lot.
B
Yeah, it helps a lot. Like, Karen has a purse.
C
Oh, yeah.
B
Like, even if it's just that Sarah
A
Christ has a cigarette, I don't need
B
to hold it, but I need to know that it's there.
C
So that I can find my way has her sign.
B
Yes. Wow. Abigail Bent.
A
Interesting grip.
C
Guys have so many things.
A
They've got literally. They're gripping everything.
B
Literally. You feel like you are. You are literally protected.
A
Yeah.
B
But when you're in an audition, I think it's just like you gotta either do space work or you bring your. You gotta bring your props or something.
C
Yeah.
A
This episode of Smoshmouth is sponsored by Shopify.
B
Shane, who's the boss?
A
Between us, I'm pretty sure it's neither of us. If anything, it would be Selena.
B
No, I'm pretty sure I'm the boss around here, Right?
A
I mean, with Shopify, you can be your own boss. All you need is an idea for your business and Shopify. And just like that, you can have an e commerce platform that allows you to sell, manage inventory, and market your business all in one place. Shopify powers millions of businesses worldwide.
B
As the boss, I know that Smosh uses Shopify for our storefront, and it makes checkout so easy.
A
Not the boss. Shopify saves your info so you can come back and purchase what you need with ease. Because Shopify handles setup and checkout, we can focus on important things, like making this podcast episode.
B
As your boss, I can recognize that this is called growth.
A
Okay. Not my boss. With Shopify, nothing stands between your idea and a real business. So go make it one. Start your free trial at shopify.com smosh Start your free trial at shopify dot com smosh One last time. That's shopify dot com smosh.
B
Okay, boss man, back to the show.
A
See, you're not the boss. It only works for the boss.
C
Anyways, I have one Birkenstocks.
B
You know, I smash them.
A
I used to be a pass, but I'm a smash now.
C
It changed.
A
It changed. I had to wear them every episode of Goldberg's that I was on because my character was like a hippie, hippie vibe. Now they were Birkenstocks that were previously like. I don't know where they got them from. They weren't new Birkenstocks.
B
Oh, so they're already by somebody broken
A
in by another foot. So they didn't really fit properly. Properly, they. They did kind of suck. But I do have Birkenstocks now that fit me perfectly.
B
And I love same. I love them. I wear clog all the time.
A
They were a gift clog kind. Yeah. Kiana and Spencer got them for me.
B
I have, like, the open. The open sandal. I have it like, that's like my outside.
C
Me too.
B
Walk. I love it so much. It's so great.
A
Very cool.
B
Yeah. I love my burks.
A
Yeah, Birkenstocks, definitely.
B
That's a great question.
A
That's a great question. Ankle socks. There you go. Boom.
B
Smash.
A
Oh, I think I'm gonna pass. Lately I haven't been wearing them.
B
Wow.
A
Well, no shows.
C
I'm. I'm pass on no shows too.
B
No pass. Hardcore. Oh, I find them to be so annoying.
A
Okay.
B
Not like on someone else.
A
You don't like the feeling?
B
Yeah. And I only like to wear ankle. If they're like these see through ones. But I usually wear like socks up to here.
A
Selena, hit us with another cracking your joints.
C
Smash.
A
Nice.
B
You know what I like to do?
A
Oh, what if spider webs came out? No, no. Oh, my God.
B
Not here.
A
I'll say. Smash. It's satisfying, but I'm not very good at it.
C
Is it weird that I want to taste Spider Man's way up?
A
I. You know, I cannot be. I cannot be more. I cannot be surprised by you taste.
B
Talk more about that.
C
Well, there's. Number one, there's nothing coming out of Tom Holland that I wouldn't want to taste. Oh, I kind of agree with you. Number two, why do I feel like it's a little bit sweet and a little bit salty? Jesus fucking Christ.
B
Honestly, I think it would probably feel very weird on the tongue. It's a web.
C
I'm gonna try it anyway.
B
Are you. You sound like. What's his name?
C
I don't know. You gotta say a name.
A
Oh, my God.
C
You know who you sound like?
A
Oh, God.
C
What's his name?
A
You know, you sound like. Oh, my God. What's his name?
B
We don't need to.
A
He's from that show.
B
You know what?
A
He's from that show. He's from that show. I. Oh, here's one.
B
Oh, no, go ahead.
A
I was just gonna say. On the topic of Tom Holland, I was gonna say Tom Holland and Zendaya, if they ever break up, that'll ruin everybody's day.
B
We'll pass. Everything.
A
It will suck because they're kind of like.
B
You'll just be excited. Cause then Tom will be available.
A
True. You'll have your chance.
B
Chance.
A
Chance. And also Tom Holland. Look, I don't give much to astrology, but they're also a Gemini Virgo couple.
B
Are you a Virgo Gemini couple?
A
Courtney and I are a Gemini Virgo couple. But we're.
B
Why does that work?
A
I'm the Virgo. I'm the Virgo. She's the Gemini. Zendaya is the Virgo Tom is the Gemini.
B
Gemini?
A
Yeah.
B
Why does that work?
A
I don't know.
C
See, I was communication ruled by Mercury.
A
I was told a long time ago that they don't work, but then Courtney and I were like, fuck it, beat the odds. I don't give a shit.
B
I was told that a Libra and Aquarius work really well together. That's what I have. So.
A
Well, I don't.
B
End of story.
A
I don't care what any astrologer says, because Tom and Zendaya are proof that Geminis and Virgos work perfectly together.
C
Say it louder for people in the back.
B
Smash. Or pass someone telling you they love a show and that you need to watch it.
A
Oh, that's a absolute smash. I love. I love when people recommend shows.
B
Smash.
C
Okay.
A
I love knowing that there's good shows and movies that I haven't seen.
C
I'm also smashed.
B
Like, yeah, hell, I'm gonna say smash. But it depends on the person.
C
Why?
B
Because there are some people in my life where they're like, oh, my God, you have to watch a show.
A
And I'm like, I love telling people.
B
I mean, like, yeah, there are some people who like, love.
A
I'm glad to know that that's not me because I told you to watch Widow's Bay and then you watched I.
B
We love Fairy.
A
It is the best show.
B
You tell me to watch a show and truly I will get the subscription.
C
Wow.
B
Exactly what I did. I didn't even have Apple TV and I got it and watched it and was obsessed with it.
A
Wow.
B
I trust you very much.
A
That is. Damn.
B
Yeah. Yeah. Now, if Chance told me.
A
No, chance is like, hey, I'd be like, you watch the show.
B
But you know, you know how you have some people in your life that
C
like, they love, like, they have different tastes?
B
Yeah, like, totally. Like, it feels very ABC Family style shows. And I. That's just not ever going to be me.
C
Oh, yeah.
A
Oh, yeah. You know, yeah. Well, like, Ian will like recommend a movie and I'm like, you're like, is this a.
B
Is it a silent film from.
A
Is this like a 60s French movie? Like, he has incredible taste in movies. It's just very hyper specific sometimes. And I'm like, am I down for this viewing experience?
B
Yeah,
A
We are. We are so out of it right now. I was in a great way.
C
Smasher.
A
Pass.
C
Anthony, don't you dare. I can't smash.
A
Yeah, we smash.
C
Smash. Smash.
A
Well, you know, fans already knew that's true. You know what?
B
Anthony's a great guy. I'll smash it. Oh, Jesus Christ.
A
Oh, my God.
B
Anthony watches all of our content.
A
He does watch every.
C
So he does watch.
B
He actually watches every single thing. So he is going to watch this moment.
A
We were talking about. We were talking about this earlier that Anthony will like, will be like working. We'll be doing a typical work day and he'll come up and he'll be like, I watched that episode of that thing that was incredible. And that's true. He truly watches all the stuff. Not only that, he'll talk about. He's like, oh, I watched the cut for this thing that's not even out yet and stuff. Like, he's. He's in a room where they have. There's a million screens and he's like, plug. He's plugged into the universe.
B
I mean, that's such an amazing way to understand the company. Like, you know exactly what's going on.
A
Yeah, no, he's trying to. He's trying to be the all knowing. I respect it.
C
He's like, oh, boy, oh, boy. In Captain Marvel, there's the. There's a big computer that like runs their whole society. And he's like, they also.
A
In. Well, in Marvel they also have the watcher.
B
Yes.
C
Yeah.
A
Who's truly just there watching everything.
C
Yeah, that's true.
A
He's like, I can't interfere. I'm just watching.
C
Yeah.
B
Okay. Marvel characters that you would smash.
A
It's like, which ones wouldn't?
B
Hulk.
A
Yeah.
C
Oh, actually pass.
B
Yeah.
A
I mean, you're gonna die, but it'd be funny.
B
Yeah, yeah.
A
We found him 50 meters into the earth. Just throw me. Be kind of funny.
B
Iron Man.
C
Well, Tony Stark, is he in the suit?
B
Yes.
C
Smash.
A
Whoa.
B
No, he's in his like, basement working, tinkering away.
A
Okay, Sorry.
C
He's just.
A
He's just. Tony Stark, billionaire, playboy.
B
Yeah.
C
Philanthropist.
A
Philanthropist.
C
Come on now.
A
Okay.
B
You didn't answer it.
A
I said. I said smash most of the Marvel universe.
B
Wow.
C
Yeah, I agree.
A
Yeah, it's like they're all. Even if they're evil, they're hot. Like all of them.
B
That's true. Vision is also very hot.
C
He's not evil.
A
Vision isn't evil.
B
But didn't he have an evil moment?
A
Well, he's been like.
C
The white vision was barely him.
A
Yeah.
B
Paul Bettany.
C
Okay, what about, like, what about. Okay, so there's like half fish people happening.
A
I already said mermaids.
C
Yeah, there's.
B
Would you let me get to it?
C
Okay, there's half horse people, which are centaurs.
B
Cute.
C
So what if there was like a Half snake person.
B
No.
A
Oh, yeah.
B
I don't want, like, a rattlesnake back.
C
I'm smashing.
B
Really?
A
You're saying. So you're saying almost kind of like a. Like a. The shape of like, a Medusa type,
C
like the bottom half.
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. There probably is a mythical term for that.
C
Yeah, there is.
A
Is that. That's not a gorgon, right?
C
No, Gorgon has. That's.
A
That's specifically what that is.
C
There is a name for it.
A
Yeah, sure, sure. Oh, like, like. Okay, take it to another route. Ursula from Tentacles. Little Mermaid.
C
No, no. The reptile scales is good. The tentacles is not for me.
B
Do you want to smash?
C
Why are you laughing? You're one step removed from Ursula. Random burger time.
B
Did that feel good?
C
Yeah.
A
Add that to the compilation of feel good.
B
Did that clip feel good for you, Chance? Fine, I'll play the sea witch. She has the best solo in the movie.
A
Okay, so wait, she's iconic. What are you talking about?
B
I didn't. Never said it.
A
You guys are making fun of. Fun of me for bringing out her name.
C
You're making fun of me for wanting to smash your tentacle brains out.
B
If you want to smash the sea witch, that's fine. You can do that.
A
Okay.
B
Okay.
A
I was asking you guys, though.
B
That's crazy.
A
That's cool. Okay. We weren't talking about me.
B
Yeah, well, you're on the pod anyways. See, which can get it, I guess. Love it. Wide ruled paper.
A
Wide ruled paper.
C
I have to know what that means, honestly. Pass.
A
I'll smash. Even though my favorite is graph paper. Ooh, very pretty graph papers.
C
I love graph paper.
B
Wide ruled is hard because you have to, like, write. I feel like wide ruled was used for cursive.
C
I'm gonna pass on that.
B
I'm passing.
A
I'll pass on graph. I'm thinking about graph paper, and that's what I want.
B
What about receiving a voice note? I smash on that.
A
I smash.
C
I love receiving a voice note. I don't like that. They disappear automatically. I don't know how to change them.
A
That is true. You don't get to save those same.
B
I. I think it's, like, has to do with your storage or something.
A
Is there a way to download them? Or, like, you can press keep, but
C
I don't know how long they stay.
B
Same. I like. I like voice notes, but if they are longer than, like, five minutes, it's
C
gonna be five minutes.
A
Holy shit.
B
Y' all don't know my family.
A
Oh, my God.
B
Oh, I've got, like, I've got, like, 20 minute ones.
C
Fuck, no.
A
Jesus. Yeah, just call it, like, time. Have a. Have a phone call.
B
I know, but different. Like, time zones.
A
I know, but you get. Just wait. How can someone talk for 20 minutes without a response?
C
Let me tell you.
A
Holy shit.
B
More than half the women in my life, and me included, sometimes we could go off.
C
That's true.
B
Like, we could talk for 20 minutes of just, like, our day and the revelations that we had in that one movie that we saw and the book we're reading in this long conversation we had and. Oh, my God, did I tell you about. Blah, blah.
A
Damn, that's cool. I think that's really cool.
B
Okay. Awesome. I feel exposed.
A
That's. You're fine. Random. That's such a random burger.
B
You know? You guys are so random.
C
Oh. What is it?
B
This was on the same notes as something else, and I just deleted it all.
C
You can go into recently deleted.
A
Yeah, you can get it back.
C
Oh,
A
the Kool Aid Man.
B
Pass. A thousand percent smash.
A
The way he smashes through walls. Yeah, we're. We're doing it.
B
What are you guys.
A
I don't know how that works, but, like, imagine jumping into his vase. I.
C
If I can have him be teal, too, that'd be nice.
A
You never see the Kool Aid man in different flavors.
C
He should be able to change his flavor.
A
He should be able to change his flavor.
C
You really.
A
He really should. Huh? How about Jolly Green Giant?
C
Oh, that's fun. Let me see.
B
Ronald McDonald.
A
You know what's funny? I was thinking about him earlier. To my list. Absolutely. Pass. That's a nightmare.
B
Pass. Absolutely.
C
But Hamburglar smash.
A
Oh, yeah, Hamburglar for sure. Smash. Grimace.
C
Pass.
A
Adult Grimace.
B
What's Grimace? What's Grimace?
A
I was like. I was like, I don't know how old Grimace is, so. Adult Grimace.
B
No.
C
Hey. Whoa, whoa. No. Hey, hey, hey. It's okay. It's okay. You're okay.
A
No, it's okay. No, it's okay. You're okay.
C
Okay, how about this? The Monster House from Monster House.
A
I never saw Monster.
B
Never saw Monster.
A
You guys, what are we doing here? Look, we did. We did our Daddy's Battle brackets, and I need. I need to watch some, like, childhood movies from after I was a child because I didn't watch Despicable Me, and people were mad about how we talked about Gru, and I was like, look, I just don't know. I just don't know anything about Gruff. So I'm judging him only off of trailers and promotional material for Despicable Me, and I don't like what I see, but if I watch the movie, I will be swayed.
B
Probably not. And he probably didn't have a hung smile like was the term that he discovered.
C
I don't know.
A
But I need to see Monster House. I need to see. There's a lot of movies I need to see that I'm like, from eras I missed so that I can understand. For people who are younger than me. Oh, yeah.
B
No.
C
Okay.
A
Oh, yeah. But a different era of them, I think maybe. No, because they stopped making them after a certain point. But. But yeah.
C
Oh.
A
And then I guess we talked. I guess at some point in daddy battle brackets, we talked shit about Bob Belcher. But I love Bob Belcher, and I don't remember if I talked shit.
B
Bob Belcher.
A
He's Bob's burger. Talk about a random burger.
B
Odd. Random burger.
A
But I love Bob Belcher.
B
Random burger. Yeah, he's great.
A
Whatever. We talked.
B
Did we talk shit?
A
I. I only. I didn't get to watch the video yet as of right now. I watched the beginning part, but comments were like, don't slander Bob Belcher. I was like, what did we say about Bob Belcher? I love Bob's burgers. But maybe I was saying, I don't think he's sexy.
C
I don't think he's sexy.
B
I don't think he's. I don't think he was like, daddy.
A
Daddy.
B
Yeah, cuz Daddy's sexy.
A
Yeah, but he is awesome.
B
He's awesome.
A
But like, he's like. Yeah, he's like he. And he talks like this, which is awesome.
C
Oh, that's good.
B
That's really good.
A
It's like, okay, all right, we're making burgers now. Oh, that's really good.
B
The mom is from my favorite, like, back in the day, YouTube comedian. Oh, my God.
A
Oh, my. My son.
B
My son. They went to New York. They moved to New York and now they're gay on Mother's Day. Oh, my God.
C
I think pass on both of them.
A
Whoa. Them as a couple is a smash. They're such a, like, lovely couple.
B
Bob's Burgers.
A
Yes. They're such a. It's such a, like, healthy family dynamic. Yeah, they're like a very. It is genuinely such a great show because there's so many hold it back, mash or pass.
B
Someone yawning while you're talking about yawning
A
in your face while you're talking about something so important.
B
No, no. Smash your pass. Someone either just. Okay, I have two options. Someone yawning full to you or swallowing their yawn? Which one would you rather swallow?
C
Okay, so smash your pass. The navi. Oh, so you just did it.
A
So you just completely ignored everything. Amanda, just swallow.
B
So smash your past.
A
Yeah, the navi. Yeah, I'd say smash.
B
Smash.
C
They're big.
A
Yeah, sure. They're like. Aren't they like, 9ft tall or something? It's pretty crazy.
C
Yeah.
A
I'll give it a go.
B
Pick me up.
A
Good luck.
B
Good luck, Honey. They're going to toss you around.
C
I want to take their little ponytail and put in my mouth.
B
Okay.
C
Jesus.
B
Y' all didn't answer my. My yawn.
A
I'd rather someone just yawn fully. Oh, it feels less insulting.
B
What the hell? Shane does this a lot.
A
Cuz you tell me to go. You're like, what was that?
B
You can yawn fully. I just like to be on your ass about it, you know?
A
Yeah, yeah, yeah. For sure, for sure, for sure.
B
Yay.
A
No, for sure. Any. Any of The Muppets.
C
Smash. Mrs. Piggy. Smash. Kermit smash. Animal smash. Oscar.
B
Oscar the Grouch.
C
Smash.
A
That's Sesame street lives.
C
Oh,
B
Big Bird can get it.
C
Jesus. Big Bird's a little too big for me.
A
Yeah, no, Miss Piggy. For sure.
B
Yeah, I love Miss Piggy.
A
Miss Piggy's awesome.
C
Snuffleupagus.
A
I was talking about we. I would love to get a Muppet on Smosh. That's like a dream guest. That's really anything. Like, imagine Bord AF with a Muppet.
C
So fun.
B
I love that. That's a good pitch.
C
Would we be ourselves or our puppets?
A
We're ourselves.
C
Okay.
A
No, we're absolutely ourselves. Because, like, that's how Muppets always are. The, like, other people are. They show up.
B
Yep.
A
They're human. But imagine if you had, like, Miss Piggy there in the middle and, like, a few of us.
C
Werewolf.
A
And we're playing. Oh, Werewolf.
C
She's like,
A
oh, Kermy.
C
That's pretty good.
A
Oh, kermit.
B
Oh, Kermit.
C
Mrs. Piggy.
A
That's not bad.
B
That's not bad.
C
Somewhere over the rainbow.
A
It's rainbow connection.
B
No, no, totally.
A
Yeah. So you did that. So you did a different thing.
C
The rainbow connection.
A
But that'd be incredible. Oh, werewolf with a Muppet.
B
Okay, dude. So random burger of us. I'm so down.
A
It does physically good. It physically hurts.
C
It was a good use of random, I won't lie.
B
Well, that was smash. Or pass. And, you know, we never hit pass. Do it.
A
We hit pass.
B
No, but.
A
Oh, we never actually hit the pass button.
C
You have to say something. I'm passing on.
B
Love that.
A
Nice. Good. Good job.
B
That's a pass.
A
And that's a pass.
B
Chance, thanks so much for being here.
A
Thank you, Chance. What a wild day.
C
No, thank you, guys. There is no place that I would rather be than sandwiched right between you.
A
All right.
C
Deciding if things are smashing.
A
Yeah.
C
Or passing. Or being random burgers. Let us know what you guys would smash. And if you agreed with all our take. Thank you for watching and we'll be around.
Hosts: Shayne Topp, Amanda Lehan-Canto
Guest: Chance
In this lively episode of Smosh Mouth, Shayne, Amanda, and their guest Chance dive into the silly, raucous game of “Smash or Pass,” but with a uniquely chaotic Smosh twist. Instead of just rating celebrities, the trio flies through wild topics ranging from pasta shapes to mythical creatures, etiquette pet peeves, Muppets, and made-up euphemisms like “random burger.” With plenty of playful bickering, theatrical asides, and off-the-rails diversions, the episode overflows with both rapid-fire pop culture hot takes and the unfettered weirdness that makes Smosh Mouth so beloved.
Smasher passes include:
Text etiquette nuances: heavy LOL usage, laugh/like reactions, over-reacting in text threads, group chat politics (“Have you ever had someone booted?”).
Spanning everything from the surreal to the mundane, the group weighs in on:
Chance: “There is no place that I would rather be than sandwiched right between you... Deciding if things are smashing, passing, or being random burgers.” (67:06)
This episode is a perfect distillation of Smosh Mouth’s signature style: rapid-fire absurdity, honest opinions, and the warm, anarchic rapport between Shayne, Amanda, and friends. Nearly any topic, no matter how trivial or surreal, is up for debate, with “smash or pass” as just a jumping off point for hilarious sidebars and memorable in-jokes.
Listen for:
Let the Smosh Mouth crew know what you’d smash, pass, or random burger!