#154 - Reading About YOUR Hometown Drama

Summary

Smosh Mouth #154 – Reading About YOUR Hometown Drama

Date: July 27, 2026
Hosts: Shayne Topp, Amanda Lehan-Canto
Guest: Arasha

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into the delightfully weird, wild, and sometimes wholesome world of hometown drama. For weeks, the hosts accrued listener submissions of local legends, petty feuds, quirky town characters, and unforgettable small-town events. Shayne, Amanda, and guest Arasha read and (hilariously) rate these stories, sharing their own childhood memories and tangents as they go.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction: Fashion, Hometowns & the Drama Theme

• The episode opens with playful banter about cross-gender dressing and fashion inspiration, with a nod to Princess Diana and FIFA announcers ([00:27]–[01:45]).
• Theme set: "Today we are going to be reading people's hometown drama." ([02:12])

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2. Why Hometown Drama Is Universal

• Discussion on why small-town drama feels more intense and memorable.
• Amanda shares: “My mom was a teacher… She always knew. Teachers know everything. Right?” ([03:57])
• Arasha notes feeling left out in high school, and how drama can be a way to feel connected as a teen: “Maybe, in a sad way, it just kind of helps me feel a little more involved.” ([08:21])
• The group reminisces about how news spreads slowly and mysteriously in small towns.

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3. The Joy (and Pain) of Being “in the Loop”

• Shayne: “Everybody knows the secret or everybody has this story… and you're like, wait, what?” ([09:05])
• Amanda prefers a drama-free life as she gets older: “Anytime I go home, it is like, ‘Did you hear?’” ([10:01])

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4. Listener Hometown Drama Stories

Format:

• Each story is read aloud and given a "drama" rating using criteria like juiciness, effort, comedy, and mystique.
• Ratings are usually on a 1–10 scale; the team banters on the merits and wildness of each.

Notable Submissions:

• The Great Hedge Prank ([19:05])

  • Story: The high school’s “BAERS” (Bears) hedge was trimmed to read “PENIS.”
  • Memorable quote:
    • Amanda: “If I were mayor, I’d keep it!” ([19:52])
  • Rating: 2–4/10 for juiciness, but high for creativity and execution.

• The Lady with a Lion ([21:32])

  • Story: A local woman had a real lion living in her house.
  • “That's just like a... that's more of a weird fact.” – Shayne ([22:25])
  • Rating: Low on drama, high on uniqueness.

• Pickleball Mafia ([23:19])

  • Story: An HOA pickleball court feud leads to lawsuits, threats, and “the pickleball mafia.”
  • The homeowner brings a jar of pickles to the committee meeting: “I will not be intimidated.” ([25:33])
  • Quotes:
    • Shayne: “See, this, to me, is good drama. Because it’s hilarious… it’s pickleball!” ([25:46])
  • Rating: 5–7/10 – Great pettiness and escalation, lacking that “juicy affair” angle.

• Walmart Tamales ([32:50])

  • Story: Two vendors at Walmart parking lot; “you always get your tamales from the guy with nice teeth.”
  • Hosts agree: “That’s not drama, that’s a fact. But important.”
  • Rating: 1/10 for drama, but tamales get bonus points for taste.

• The Bronzed Balls House ([35:51])

  • Story: Town legend of a gay man with his lover’s testicles bronzed as his door-knocker; local kids would sneak out to rub them.
  • “If you’re making a set of nuts the thing you have to grab to knock on your door… people are gonna come up and grab them.” – Shayne ([37:46])
  • Rating: Mixed—high on local legend, medium on actual drama.

• Tennis Balls Mystery ([40:13])

  • Amanda tells a personal tale: a mysterious man (Ira) regularly chucked packs of tennis balls at her and her sister for weeks. Turns out, Ira was a family friend gifting balls in a bizarre Bostonian way.

• School Dance Ban ([44:01])

  • Town cancels all dances due to “too much inappropriate dancing,” covered by local news and Smosh.com.
  • Amanda explains "grind lines" for the uninitiated.
  • Wholesome, but rated low for drama unless you’re a Footloose fan.

• Story of “V” the Unsung Hero ([56:18])

  • From a small town in India: V was a beloved, generous bachelor who helped impoverished kids. After his sudden passing, the whole community united to support his legacy.
  • “As far as drama goes, zero out of ten… as far as absolutely beautiful story, ten out of ten.” – Shayne ([58:41])
  • The panel gets genuinely emotional; this is the episode’s “faith-in-humanity” moment.

• A Shit and Run ([62:18])

  • Story: Someone broke into a house, pooped in the dishwasher, and left.
  • “It’s bold, it’s weird… there’s clearly more to this story.” – Shayne ([65:16])
  • Rating: 7.5–9 for sheer audacity, inconvenience, and mystery.

• The $1.4 Million Romani Curse ([69:02])

  • Story: In Spokane, WA, illegal police raids against Romani leaders lead to public curses, protest antics, and (eventually) a $1.43 million settlement. Yet the “curse” was never lifted.
  • “That’s not just hometown drama. That’s legend status.” – Shayne ([71:11])
  • Rating: 9/10 for lore, impact, and drama longevity.

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5. Running Gags and Standout Moments

• Tennis Balls from Ira: Amanda’s Boston childhood tale earns “Only in Boston could someone give a gift in a mean way.” – Shayne ([42:54])
• “If you want to hit a 9 or a 10 [on the drama scale], an affair needs to happen and the governor needs to be involved.” – Shayne ([66:22])
• The hosts affectionately mock recurring topics—tamales, poop stories, ball-related drama.
• Grind Line explanation and misunderstanding (“It’s a horny conga line.” – Shayne, [48:31])
• “Never forget about the balls knocking on the door.” – Arasha ([74:31])

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6. Festpool Podcast Plug

Arasha reveals her podcast, Festpool, which is all about anonymous confessions and juicier stories, inviting Amanda and Shayne as future guests ([74:42]).

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Notable Quotes

• “Maybe, in a sad way, it just kind of helps me feel a little more involved.” – Arasha ([08:21])
• “I want to do a rating that’s like a package deal. No pun intended.” – Arasha ([20:50])
• “I love that he’s like, I’m going to get back at you by putting a hex on all of you.” – Amanda ([71:57])
• “If you’re making a set of nuts the thing you have to grab to knock on your door… people are gonna come up and grab them.” – Shayne ([37:46])
• “If a bunch of pickleball players try to intimidate me, I’d be like, hey, man, stop.” – Shayne ([29:45])
• “Only in Boston could someone give a gift in a mean way.” – Shayne ([42:54])
• “As far as drama goes, zero out of ten… as far as absolutely beautiful story, ten out of ten.” – Shayne ([58:41])
• “A governor needs to be involved [for a 10].” – Shayne ([66:22])

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Highlight Timestamps (MM:SS)

• 02:12 | Episode topic introduced: “reading people’s hometown drama”
• 03:57 | Teachers as the source of all hometown gossip
• 08:21 | Why drama can help people feel included
• 19:05 | The legendary "penis hedge" prank submission
• 23:19 | Pickleball Mafia saga—petty, prolonged, and hilarious
• 35:51 | The “bronzed balls” door story
• 40:13 | Amanda’s “tennis balls from Ira” tale
• 44:01 | Small-town bans on school dances and “grind lines”
• 56:18 | The moving tale of V—hometown altruist and community hero
• 62:18 | “A shit and run”: the dishwasher defiler
• 69:02 | $1.43M Romani curse epic
• 74:42 | Plug for Arasha’s “Festpool” podcast

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Episode Tone & Style

As ever, the Smosh Mouth crew keep things playful, irreverent, and quick to riff, while showing real appreciation and heart for their listeners’ stories (and for each other). Even the silliest submissions get thoughtful attention, and the wild escalation of “drama ratings” (plus plenty of tangents) keeps the episode lively and warm.

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Conclusion

This episode proves that small towns are treasure troves of unique stories—ranging from the absurd (a lion in the house), the petty (pickleball turf wars), the iconic (“cursed” city hall), to the heartfelt (V’s legacy in India). The group’s mix of humor and sincerity makes for a thoroughly entertaining ride.

Stay tuned for a likely part two—there were just too many wild stories to cover in a single episode!

Transcript

[A]

This is my impression of a Rasha. Hey, it's okay.

[B]

That's a very good impression.

[C]

I'm sorry. I only see kindness there. I don't see any meaning.

[A]

Okay, King.

[C]

Hi.

[A]

Welcome to Smosh Mouth. I'm Shane.

[B]

And I'm Amanda. And we have a wonderful guest with us today. She's wearing a hat, but if you couldn't tell, it is a Rasha.

[C]

Hi. I'll just tip the hat up so you can confirm my identity.

[B]

No, I'm sorry.

[A]

We got it.

[B]

I think it's clear.

[C]

Thank you.

[B]

And you're wearing a guy's shirt, you said. But honestly, it does not need to be a guy's shirt. It's so freaking cute.

[A]

I go. I go, that's a nice shirt. And you go, well, it's a shirt for God.

[C]

It's a man's shirt, which is crazy. Well, I've been doing a lot of cross gender dressing, actually.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I've been doing a lot of like, like collars, like, ties. I've been really. Is that not a great. Is that not a good thing?

[B]

Oh, no, I think.

[C]

I think it's awesome.

[A]

I. I think it's fantastic.

[C]

I think it's great.

[A]

I don't know why Amanda has a problem.

[C]

I know Amanda. Clearly you don't want me to dress like Amanda.

[A]

I don't know why Amanda's a fan.

[C]

Amanda.

[A]

I think it'.

[B]

I said I had the giggles.

[A]

You did.

[C]

Just saying.

[A]

No, I actually think. I think women look so cool when they wear, like, the shirt and tie look. I think it's awesome. Yeah, it's a really cool look, too.

[B]

I've been watching FIFA and I'm like, I get that these women want to be in, like, tight ass dresses, but damn, put on a suit, lady. Maybe that's just me. Hey, they. They look incredible. But, like, I don't know, I want to see these, like, FIFA announcers. All the men are in badass suits and like, yeah, girl.

[C]

I mean, listen, I love a tight dress moment, and I will be doing that as well. I think what's fun for me is the duality of that. I love being in a suit and a tie, but then I also love being in a tight little number. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. A look that's been really popular, and I think men and women both look really good in it is the. The oxford shirt with shorts and then loafers with the high socks. It's a cool look. It's like a business casual, like, look.

[B]

It's a Princess Diana look.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Sorry to bring it Up. But, like, no, she literally, the.

[A]

She had some type of looks.

[B]

Shorts with the big, oversized sweatshirt.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Sneaks.

[C]

Sneaks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Amazing.

[C]

I love it.

[A]

Anyways, today we are going to be reading people's hometown drama.

[B]

I am.

[A]

So, for weeks now, Selena has been accruing submissions on Reddit. Town drama.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Selena. Where'd you get this idea from?

[B]

We asked for it on the Smosh subreddit.

[A]

I know, but you. You just suddenly one day were like, I'm gonna get people's tea.

[B]

Was telling me about some drama in her, like, in the Facebook group of, like, the town of the town.

[C]

You know, what's.

[B]

Do you know what's weird, though, is we were talking about it at lunch. I don't know if it's when Rory was. Was directing, but we were talking about our own hometown dramas, and we were like, what?

[A]

Hometown drama is some crazy shit.

[C]

It's pretty juicy.

[A]

Oh, everybody's got stories.

[B]

I mean, that's when I listen to Dateline. Sorry to say it, but it is all ignited from hometown drama.

[C]

Well, I think also that sometimes can shape us. Right. Like, whatever we experience or see in our hometown.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So you either are like, that's crazy. Or you're like, okay, that's how the world is. And then if you do go outside of that community, then you sort of bring that story with you, and you're like, well, this is what happened where I grew up.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

You find it.

[B]

It's like, norm. Normal. It is.

[A]

I. And I. I'm sure it's still the same, but, like, back in the day, when you're a kid and something happens around the town, you learn about it so slowly that it's. It. It adds to the, like.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The intensity of it. And, like, everybody's aware, but they're slowly getting the details. It's always fascinating because it's never, like, outright. It's not like a big explosion of something happening.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's like, did you hear about this thing that's going on?

[B]

I agree with that. And also, my mom was a teacher. O.

[A]

So she knew everything.

[B]

She would sit on the edge of my bed, and I would wake up and she go, did you hear? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah? Like, she would always. She always knew. Teachers know everything. Right?

[C]

Right. And did you guys want to know the drama or were you like, I, I. I just want to stay out of it. I just want to be a kid.

[A]

I don't think I was, like, actively seeking it. But you just learned about everything.

[B]

You just knew.

[A]

You Just found out.

[B]

I don't think there was ever that option that I have a choice to go to.

[A]

No.

[B]

I'm going to set my boundary and not listen to this. It was like a part of my life.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Had to just. You had to know.

[A]

You were just in it.

[B]

You're just in it.

[A]

Oh, especially Boston. Oh, my God. Happening.

[B]

So fights in the hallway.

[A]

Yeah. Whoa. Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Fights and punches.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I think my hometown. I don't think I was clued in very much of things. And I also think it was boring. I mean, Arizona, like in a suburb outside of Phoenix. It was. There wasn't like too much exciting stuff. I think that the things that happened would always be depressing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, oh, this person died. And you're like, oh, yes.

[C]

Whoa. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

But not too much. I don't know if I knew. Too much juicy, like, drama that was like fun and exciting.

[C]

Were you ever a part of any of the drama?

[A]

No, I was. I was a boring ass kid. I was really boring.

[B]

Like, I tell you, Shane, your. Your fun days are coming, honey. But they're going to hit the fucker, Shane.

[C]

Soon enough you're going to be so

[A]

fun about my childhood. You're dissing my entire adult life.

[B]

No, no, no, no.

[A]

I'm talking about Arizona.

[B]

No, something wild is going to happen to you. You're going to get caught up in some.

[A]

Oh, I've been in wild shit. It just was after I was an adult here in California. See, I then became a child actor. Yeah. And then, then all the weird shit happened.

[C]

Pretty juicy.

[A]

But that wasn't hometown drama. That was. I'm in the acting industry where everything.

[B]

Drama, drama, drama.

[A]

Arizona. It was just like me and would just be like, you want to walk to Burger King? And we would walk to Burger King and they'd be like, do we want to go to this guy's house and play video games? Like, yeah, let's do that. And that was most days.

[C]

That's. That sounds awesome.

[A]

It was great. I'm not complaining about it, boys.

[B]

Ours was my dream days. Ours was like a Wendy's hang.

[A]

My virginity was like, I'm good. I'm here. Nothing could ever get close to me.

[C]

Hey, so you're going to want to cut that.

[B]

He's going to keep.

[C]

Do you a solid right there. And I'm going to say we should cut that.

[B]

No, keep it.

[C]

Keep it. Keep it, like Shane's virginity.

[B]

Keep it proud.

[A]

When I was a teenager.

[C]

Totally.

[A]

Yeah. And then my adult life, Virginia was like, you know what? We're still doing okay.

[B]

We're fine. You're going on your own journey here. I'm staying quiet. I said the one thing, and now I'm like, you know what? I'm in a. Shut up.

[A]

Arasha, did you have hometown drama because you were in Texas?

[C]

Definitely.

[A]

You know, shit, Hud, everything's bigger in Texas. Including the drama.

[C]

The drama was big. It was. There was a lot of shit going on for me. I was just, unfortunately, on the outside of it.

[A]

Because that's where you want to be.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah.

[A]

You wanted to be in it.

[C]

No, no, no, no. I just. I wanted to hear about it. I wanted to be more in it. And I don't think that I relate to you guys in that it just sort of happened and I would hear about it. I actively felt like I needed to seek it if I wanted to find out.

[B]

Really.

[C]

Frank, frankly, just.

[A]

And by the way, I'm saying, when I heard about things, it was usually, like, months after it happened.

[B]

No, mine was like, it just happened two minutes ago.

[A]

Oh.

[C]

I had older sisters.

[B]

My mom was a teacher, for sure.

[C]

I think my. My brother and I played a very similar role in our schools because he was. He's only two years older than me. So we went to the same high school for a couple of years. And we both, I think, were just really, unfortunately, a little isolated. We were very different than the people that we were. Went. That we went to school with. So a lot of the stuff that was happening, unfortunately, we were kind of left out a lot. So we would hear the drama from, like, our very small, specific friend groups, but at that point, similarly, it had already happened.

[B]

That's good. It's kind of a burden sometimes. Not saying that I was in the drama at all, but, like, I felt like I. I couldn't escape from it for sure.

[C]

If. If it's heavy stuff in a way, and. And you are just kind of trying to have peace, I think that is fine. It's. For me, I think the reason I find drama so interesting in my adult life is because it. Maybe, in a sad way, it just kind of helps me feel a little more involved.

[A]

Yeah, you felt isolated, like, as you're saying, and that when you're a teenager, that's. That can be the worst.

[B]

You want to feel connected.

[A]

You'd rather feel like, oh, intense emotions and, oh, my gosh, drama. But at least you're alone.

[C]

It's just. It's. What it is is, like. It's information. Yeah, Right. And nobody. Nobody likes to be the one who's unaware of what's going on. Everybody knows the secret. Or everybody has this story that is circulating and you're like, wait, what? What. What's happening? Who said that? What happened?

[B]

I feel like I kind of love it being like, Yeah. I don't even know what's happening. I. I like that right now because I think as like, a kid and a teen.

[A]

Oh, in my 30s. In my 30s. Sorry. I'm dying because I'm in my 30s.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No. Oh, you get over it by a certain point. I do remember when I was a teenager out here in la.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

This is like actor kids. That's really.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, the stuff you would hear too much. And I would hear the stuff that then would be like, on TV later. Right. If like, these child stars, like, what's going on?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I did. I did sometimes feel like, oh, am I boring? And. And Right. Not part of it. Because I'm not hearing about this until later on. Everybody's my informant because, like, everybody's aware of it, except they're telling me, but I'm not aware of it for sure. But I don't know nowadays, my God. You don't want. I don't want any drama.

[B]

I really. I'd really rather come in and be like people. Did you hear? And it's like, I didn't. Peace. Like, I feel like more in bliss because anytime I go home, it is like, did you hear?

[C]

Huh?

[A]

Well, that's mat. Oh, so you're. Cause I was gonna say that's maturity, but you're saying you go home to visit your family.

[B]

I don't know what it is about my town. I think it's a small town and they experience winter for many, many months. And let me tell you, drama just occurs.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And so I. I like to escape from it. Whereas, like, you. You like it because it feel. It makes you feel, like, included and involved. And there's a part of me that is still like, oh, that would suck if everyone knew about it. It's like, I didn't hear about it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

There is. There is a feeling of being included.

[C]

I think there's also a part of it that makes me feel better about it. And in my adult life, whether I'm involved in the drama or not, there's a big. There's. There's sort of like this. This advice, maybe this, like, affirmation or this, like, just thing that I've really fallen back on. I feel like I've told you guys this as well, but it really. It just sometimes boils down to whenever shit is going down. At least it's interesting.

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Like, it's, it's just, it's in a way, like I. Burger King and like, you know, and not really doing much

[B]

during my last life.

[C]

No, no, it's, it's like I understand it and they're has to be a balance with it. But at the same time, if, if my life is exciting in that way and it is like, whoa, that's crazy. And if I am going through a lot and it's again, a lot of drama, I really try to remind myself,

[A]

at least I'm living life. It's interesting.

[C]

At least it's interesting. At least people are like, whoa, what the hell is going on with me?

[A]

Yeah, but Burger King has the. Have you had the chicken fries?

[C]

No, I haven't.

[B]

Or the spicy chicken fries? Have you had those?

[C]

Okay, well, that's what I want.

[A]

See, that's the drama I was living.

[B]

Yeah, okay.

[A]

No, I, I completely get this episode of Smoshmouth is sponsored by Smalls. Speaking of drama, my cats are so dramatic. They're so picky with their food. The only thing they don't throw a hissy fit over is Smalls. Smalls fresh cat food is made with protein packed recipes using preservative free, 100% human grade ingredients you'd find in your fridge, and it's delivered right to your door. A balanced diet means less shedding, fewer hairballs, and improved hydration. My cats get everything they need from Smalls. Forbes ranked Smalls the best overall cat food. And Buzzfeed says my cats went completely ballistic for this stuff. Genuinely, my cats, Bones and Birdie, they love Smalls so much. I've been giving it to them for a long time now. It's great because I can keep so much of it in my freezer, take a few out, let them thaw in the fridge, and then give it to my cats and. And they eat it up. They're obsessed. No drama, just cat food I can trust. So stop serving your little carnivore a bowl of processed shortcuts for a limited time because you're a smosh mouth listener. Get 60% off your first order, plus free shipping and free treats for life when you head to smalls.com smoshmouth that's 60% off your first order, plus free shipping and free treats for life when you head to smalls.com/smoshmouth. And now back to the drama. Let's get there. Right. Meow. It was tough. Also in my school in like, because I didn't go to high school, and by the time you're a teenager, then I think that's when drama really starts. Yes, but, I mean, I was around actor kids, so I had a weird, different high school experience. But, Amanda, you wouldn't believe this, but I have a few transactions that I accidentally forgot about. Forgot about?

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

I mean, I was subscribed to a few things that kept charging me every month, and I forgot to cancel them. Before I knew it, I was spending way too much money. That's why I started to use Rocket Money.

[B]

I thought Rocket Money just helped you with budgets.

[A]

Well, yes, it can categorize purchases, help you stay on budget, but Rocket Money can track subscriptions and has the ability to cancel unwanted ones within the app.

[B]

I'm really, really happy that your wallet is feeling a little bit more full. So, you know, maybe we do lunch. Your treat.

[A]

Whoa. Just because Rocket Money's app consolidates checkings, savings loans, and investments into a single dashboard to give me a clear view of my financial picture, doesn't mean you can take my lunch money.

[B]

Take a breath, honey.

[A]

Well, seriously, Rocket Money has saved me so much over the years. I really don't let any subscriptions fly past me.

[B]

Yeah, you tell them.

[A]

I am. I am checking that app. I'm making sure that everything I'm paying for, I'm aware of, boss. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. [e-mail] Smoshmouth that's RocketMoney.com Smoshmouth RocketMoney.com Smoshmouth I don't know why. My head just. I remembered this, like, in fourth grade. Third grade. I remember, like, you kind of believe anything when you're a kid because you're just like. And I remember on the playground, someone was like, dude, Ricky kissed Britney Spears. No way. And they're like, yeah, he did. He was on vacation and he kissed Britney Spears. And I'm like, that's. There's no way.

[B]

And Ricky just walks on the playground,

[A]

like, what's up, guys?

[C]

That's awesome.

[A]

Just a lot, like, that's also the tough thing. I don't know what was lies or not.

[C]

Oh, it's probably all lies because, like, you.

[B]

No, Ricky definitely kissed Britney Spears.

[A]

Definitely. For sure.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

I mean, yeah. That's clear.

[A]

I mean, yeah.

[C]

Britney hasn't said anything to make me.

[A]

No No, I haven't read her memoir, so I know that's probably in it.

[B]

You haven't.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Early parts that she kissed Ricky.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But anyways.

[C]

That's so funny.

[B]

Yeah. You do believe. You do believe.

[A]

So I'm also like, what? What? Hometown drama is real.

[B]

I definitely think that game of telephone. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a game of telephone. And it definitely was, like, kissing. Like, people were like, oh, blah, blah, blah, kiss.

[C]

And you know what the hometown drama is now that I think is a shared experience among all of us is, you know, when you grow up and a lot of the times the people that leave the hometown, then you go back on Facebook and two people from two completely different circles in high school are getting married.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yes. Which is always so crazy because you're like, but he was a football team and she was in your book. And they never talk to each other. But here's photos of them at the reception.

[B]

That's the best. Hometown drama is just like, they're keeping it a secret. What's funny for me is now that I'm thinking about it is like, a lot of my hometown drama was, like, pranks, like, in the neighborhood.

[A]

Oh, that's awesome.

[B]

Oh. And I was definitely a part of it for, like, a little bit. But we would, like, you know, what were the pranks? We had one where it was like someone's TV wanted to get trashed, and we would leave it on the front doorstep and ring the doorbell and run away and hide. And a guy would be like, who did this?

[A]

You just have a TV on your porch now?

[C]

Something that.

[B]

Not me. Someone else's porch.

[C]

So they put it on the curb and you guys just moved it to the front door. Yeah.

[A]

Oh, you just massively inconvenience them.

[B]

Or we do manhunt and, like, hide out in someone's backyard while they were sleeping.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Like, we would just do weird neighborhood pranks because we all lived, like, running distance from each other.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Ding dong ditch. I would never do eggs.

[A]

No.

[B]

I would so much mess with cars that were driving by.

[A]

I think.

[C]

No, no.

[A]

Did our house get egged? I think our house got egged one time.

[B]

I don't think we TP houses or anything, but we did, like, ring the doorbell and we would prank call. I told you we'd conference. Prank call people. I told you that. Right. Where I'd call someone. I would put someone on a three way conference. So I would be listening with my friends, and I would call, like, you and like, a teacher, and you'd be like, hello, Hello. Hi. You called me. No. Oh, wait. Then they would, like, have conversations and you'd listen in. Yeah, okay, I'm sure. Drama, honey.

[C]

Or like, that's the drama.

[A]

You know, you were teeing it up like, you will not believe the drama. Sometimes we left people and we would just be really quiet.

[B]

Well, I have a lot of hometown drama that I move the stuff.

[A]

You cannot say.

[B]

I will not be discussing that for others.

[A]

Safe for work.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, we have a bunch of hometown drama that was submitted to us.

[B]

Cool. I'm so, first of all, I want to say thank you to the fans who listen to Smoshmouth, who, like, get involved with things that we ask you. You guys are incredible. I'm so grateful. And I'm so grateful for these stories.

[A]

Thank you to everyone. Got. Apparently so many submissions might have to

[B]

do a part two.

[A]

Selena curated it for the ones that we feel are safe to read here. And you're gonna read them, and I'm gonna read them.

[B]

He's going to read them.

[A]

So the first one comes from.

[B]

Pass it off too.

[A]

We can.

[B]

I'll read one.

[C]

I'd read.

[B]

Okay, you'll read one.

[A]

Okay, I'll read the first one. Then the first one comes from Grouchy. Impress 1011 football team was the Bears, and someone took the time to make the hedges say bears while someone else did their own landscaping to make it say penis. Got to love small towns. So there's a big hedge on the side of the school of it, and, you know, you can trim up hedges to. To make shapes and stuff, like how at Disneyland it's a Mickey Mouse. Whatever. So it said bears. And then someone really, really, in a well done manner, reshaped it, and it just says penis. It's just a big.

[B]

Oh, my God. It's so good.

[A]

It's well done.

[C]

Whoa.

[B]

That took time and effort. Wait, I, like.

[C]

I feel like I would keep that as the mayor.

[A]

I love that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That is perfect.

[B]

I'd be like, I'm the mayor, and this is. I have a penis. And this is.

[A]

And in honor of my penis.

[C]

You have to have a penis to be a mayor?

[B]

Of course. Are we taking a hometown drama? Duh. There's no woman mayor.

[A]

That's a good.

[B]

Are we joking?

[C]

Oh.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

100%.

[B]

That's the prank.

[C]

The mayors have penises.

[B]

Of course.

[C]

So it's only right that they keep the hedges trimmed.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Are you not on board with us?

[A]

No, I. I guess I am. I guess I am. Okay, let's. Let's rank These. Let's. Let's rate all these hometown dramas, scale one to ten.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

I think that one's a solid, like, two.

[B]

Three.

[A]

Two out of ten.

[B]

Three.

[A]

What's your scale? Like, what are you ranking it on? Just, like, juicy. Juicy. Okay, so it's not like. Because that's hilarious.

[B]

That is funny.

[A]

But that's not. That's not too wild. Like, nobody died. Nobody's affair happens.

[B]

Right.

[C]

I want to do, like, a rating. That's like. Like a package deal. No pun intended.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Sort of, like, effort comedy. Well, this took a lot of juiciness. Like. Yeah. All of it. Intelligence. And for that, I would. I would maybe say it's maybe a four.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So, yeah, so we're just guessing the package deal. So it's comedy.

[C]

Comedy, effort, intelligence.

[B]

All of it is a four.

[A]

Yeah, I think.

[C]

I think.

[A]

And there's an element of mystery, which I think is also very important. Nobody knows who did.

[B]

Anonymous.

[A]

Like, if it's like, oh, it's found out it was this guy who did this, it's more fun. It's like, we don't know who did this.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Should I pass this off?

[B]

Yeah, honey, you go.

[C]

Thank you. Okay. I guess I should do this one. This comes from glam Fibian. A lady had a lion.

[A]

Okay, that's it. That is pretty crazy.

[C]

We have a photo of the lion.

[B]

A lady had a lion.

[A]

I guess that's real. A lion just chilling in a house.

[B]

I'm so sorry. What? How do you brush your teeth and go to bed at night with a lion There?

[A]

Very well.

[C]

Do we think she's telling the truth or is she lying?

[A]

Do we think that photo is AI?

[B]

No. Let me see.

[A]

They were just like. Yeah. Let me just generate some drama. Hey, March. Hey. Are you coming back anytime soon?

[B]

I'm hungry.

[C]

March, that one's awesome.

[A]

Wow. So someone had a lion. All right.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

As for drama, I don't think that's drama.

[A]

That's just like a. That's just. That's more of a weird fact.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Every town has, like, the. The quirky person.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

It's like, well, that person's there.

[C]

I'm going to. I'm going to give that one, like, a two.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

It does. It does make me, you know, think about it for a second.

[B]

I could give that one a three. That woman is facing death every single day of her life to have a lion stick his head out the window. What?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Crazy. Yeah, but it's not real.

[A]

It's not drama. Like, that's not like A story, not drama.

[B]

It's a fact.

[A]

That's not an event. That's someone that just had that right. And that's a thing.

[C]

But it's kind of drama that it is.

[A]

Sounds like the. The lion was perfectly well behaved.

[B]

It sounds like everyone knew it.

[A]

Like, they didn't. They didn't follow that up with. Yeah. And it killed someone. It was just like she had a lion.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Thank you for submitting that. We. Yeah, that's what we want to say is that, like, it sounds like it's just there and it's chilling.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. This one pretty fun. Pickleball mafia. Ooh. Magic head 23 with two underscores. My neighborhood has been undergoing years of drama related to a tennis court that was hastily converted into a pickleball court, bypassing adding any noise reducing walls. The court is located right next to several homes, one of whom complained incessantly about the annoying noise caused by pickleball players. It got so disruptive that the homeowners decided to move, but struggled finding buyers due to the location of the court directly in their backyard. Okay, that does suck. This issue then snowballed when the homeowner threatened to sue the hoa, many of whom were avid pickleball players and refused to see any issues. It got so heated that finally the HOA decided to temporarily remove pickleball access. And then all hell broke loose. The pickleball mafia, which is what our neighborhood nicknamed them, lashed out via anonymous notes to anti pickleball HOA members. Accusations of social media bullying and sabotage during HOA elections and endless complaints. A pickleball committee was formed to investigate what should be done about the court. After a $10,000 noise study, it was determined that the pickleball court violated health and safety guidelines about the proximity to houses, and the HOA opted to convert the court back to regular tennis. The pickleball mafia did not like this and sent threatening notes to most outspoken anti pickleball HOA member on his daughter's birthday. He responded by bringing a jar of pickles to the final pickleball committee meeting, declaring, I will not be intimidated. Most recently, there were elections for several HOA spots and they had to ask all candidates what their pickleball stance was as residents refused to vote without knowing. The pickleball mafia has now decided to sue the hoa. We'll see what happens next.

[C]

Oh, my God, I love this one.

[B]

Coming with a pickleball pickleball jar. What? I will not be intimidated.

[C]

I need to know whose side you guys are on.

[A]

Okay. I Love this. This is. See, this, to me, is good drama. This is good because it's hilarious. Because it's pickleball, it's inherently just, like, dumb, right?

[C]

Like, I'm not disrespecting pickleball, yet somehow I'm heated.

[A]

It's just like. Yeah. Heated rivalry.

[B]

Ooh.

[A]

Actually, it's a little bit more challengers. Imagine challengers, but pickleball. The two nerdiest Silicon Valley guys.

[C]

So we can make it.

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

Okay, whose side are you on? It's either.

[B]

This is really tough because if this was my backyard and all I heard was, like.

[C]

Because those sounds are coming from inside the house. Pickleball.

[A]

Pickleball's a little bit more like.

[B]

Oh, you guys, you sound like John Travolta in Greece. Hey.

[A]

Oh, that's an old guy. I like that. I. I guess. Is pickleball that much louder than tennis?

[B]

I think it's the sound of pickleball.

[A]

The balls are, like, hit a little bit hard. It's like, more like paddles.

[C]

I think anything could have gone in the back, and if it was making noise, it would have.

[B]

How often are they playing? Are they playing overnight?

[A]

People play pickleball. It is.

[B]

Yeah. No, I know. Pickleball is huge, but I mean.

[A]

But I think people are playing pickleball hours. They're playing all day, all nighttime.

[C]

Well, especially if it is so popular and there's only this one court for the. For the community. They're probably trying to go in as

[A]

much as possible, putting it right next to a house that sucks in their backyard.

[B]

I mean, it must have been terrible. The homeowners move, and no one will buy it.

[A]

To literally move in this time in this economy.

[C]

Yeah. So I'm on the homeowner side 100%.

[A]

You're on the homeowner side?

[C]

Yeah. I think demolish the pickleball court. I hate the ho. I need to do is.

[A]

I just think it's like. It's like, that's their home. They can't leave that where it's like a pickleball court. It's like, hey, man, there's. You got to find a way to have another pickleball court.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I also, like. I'm. I'm stereotyping in my head, right? I'm stereotyping my head that I'm like, these pickleball players. I have a hard time imagining these aren't just rich white people. And I'm unfortunately. I am unfortunately picturing. I'm picturing the types of guys that I know who play pickleball the most.

[B]

Like, they're called the mafia. Oh, wait, the neighborhood called them the pickleball Mafia.

[A]

I don't know if they called themselves the pickleball Mafia. I think they should be killed.

[C]

They deserve to be.

[B]

Yeah, they didn't call themselves that. The neighborhood, Nick.

[A]

No, I actually have a lot of friends who play pickleball. Like, it is huge. It sounds really fun. Yeah, but it's just, like, for them to intimidate a homeowner is just being like, hey, man, I can't sleep.

[C]

Well, I think for me, it just reads as entitlement because it just feels like you are only saying what you're saying because you are not in the position that this other person's in. Like, if. If that was you, if that was your home, you would be advocating differently.

[B]

Of course.

[C]

So. So I. I just hate when people aren't able to consider other people's position and are just working in the interest of what they want to do, which is something as silly as getting to play pickleball in this one court. This is not the only place, not

[A]

another place we can find to build a pickleball court. Like, if they're dropping 10k. 10k for studies and stuff, it's like, hey, guys, like, what if we, as a community figure out, but the HOA

[C]

is never going to put money where it belongs?

[A]

No, that's also. And also, like, they are also. I. I don't really like a lot of people.

[C]

If the HOA is listening, like, we have to somehow, like, reverse block them.

[B]

What do you guys do?

[C]

I hate them.

[B]

No, but also, like, this wasn't even silly anymore. They were sending threatening notes during the daughter's birthday party.

[A]

Yeah, no, the. The pickleball, the. The way they are operating like a mafia. On the day of his daughters, it

[B]

was probably mermaid, too. How awful is that?

[A]

Oh, gosh. But he brought that pickle jar.

[C]

I love that.

[A]

That's also. I'm gonna say is, like, it's easy to not be intimidated by a bunch of pickleball players.

[C]

I just think it's. I like, I like that this person.

[A]

I'm not feeling too nervous.

[B]

I like.

[C]

I like that they were like, I am not backing down. That's what I can respect.

[B]

Lanky dudes and little shorts coming in.

[A]

No, I'm down to. I'm down to. I like, if. If a bunch of pickleball players try to intimidate me, I would be like, hey, man, stop.

[C]

Back off.

[A]

But if it was like, oh, they're playing rugby in your backyard. I'd be like, hey, guys.

[B]

Iced tea?

[A]

Gatorade, Anybody? Anyways, you guys are being. It's a little loud.

[B]

Yeah, I would have just pulled a

[C]

ball in a jar and brought that

[B]

and been like, this could be your ball.

[C]

These are your balls that I pickled.

[B]

That's awesome.

[A]

Okay, well.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Come for me.

[B]

We'll see what happens next. Dot, dot.

[A]

So far, this is my favorite one.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

Yeah, I think I give this like, a five. Oh, you are. You are harsh. You are a harsh critic.

[B]

Thanks. 6.

[A]

Because. What were you going to say? I was. I was thinking more closer to, like, a six or seven.

[C]

Of course you were. I was thinking I.

[B]

Excuse me.

[A]

It wasn't until that meme that I realized how often I say those numbers.

[C]

Totally.

[B]

What numbers?

[C]

You know, above average.

[B]

Okay, so you would give it a 7.

[A]

7. 7 was in my head.

[C]

Or a 6.

[A]

I. 7 something. Of course it can be juicier, but, like, this has all the components agreeing.

[B]

Like a five.

[A]

What it needs is, like, it needed two individuals to face off. Like, it need. No, like, he brought the pickle jar. It needed a fight to actually have, but the fight to be, like, kind of pathetic.

[B]

Yeah. And end in.

[A]

It's like, oh, they actually got in a fight on the pickleball court. But, like, they kind of were just, like, slapping each other and they just kind of fell to the ground.

[C]

I'm with you, seven. I like that. I'm gonna lock in five.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, but I agree with you. It could have been a little bit more sexual.

[A]

Yeah. You needed it.

[B]

I just needed someone to kiss someone's husband. And then that's just like, excuse me. I will not be intimidated. And get your hands off my wife. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

It needed an affair or it needed. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

This episode of Smoshmouth is sponsored by zoc. Doc, if there's one thing I need to be drama free in my life, it's my health. I need it to be efficient. I need it to be covered by my insurance. And sometimes I need to make an appointment on the same day. That's why I use zocdoc. Zocdoc lets you search and compare local in network doctors. It's that easy. They have more than 150,000 providers within 200 plus specialties across all 50 states. And Zocdoc's website has reviews from real patients. This helped me find the right doctor for me. And ZocDoc is free to use. See? No drama. I had been pushing off doctor's appointments forever until I downloaded Zocdoc. And then I had appointments set up within the week. And ever since, I've been punctual about them. And I'm on top of it. Your health matters and taking care of yourself shouldn't be complicated. Find and book the right doctor with Zocdoc. Head to Zocdoc.com Smoshmouth to get started and check that appointment off your to do list. That's z o c d o c.com smoshmouth mouth. Now back to the show. Do you mind if I read 2? Cuz this. This one's really short.

[B]

No.

[C]

Yeah, mine was really long.

[B]

You can. You can read.

[A]

You did just have like.

[C]

No, no, I'm totally kidding.

[B]

You can read two read.

[A]

Okay. Walmart Tamales. Weird cosplayer submitted in my town. We have two guys who show up in Walmart parking lots selling tamales in Ziploc bags. And you always have to get your tamales from the guy with the nice teeth because his tamales are better. Amanda, you wouldn't believe this, but I have a few transactions that I accidentally forgot about. Forgot about?

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

I mean, I was subscribed to a few things that kept charging me every month, and I forgot to cancel them. Before I knew it, I was spending way too much money. That's why I started to use Rocket Money.

[B]

I thought Rocket Money just helped you with budgets.

[A]

Well, yes, it can categorize purchases, help you stay on budget, but Rocket Money can track subscriptions and has the ability to cancel unwanted ones within the app.

[B]

I'm really, really happy that your wallet is feeling a little bit more fun full. So, you know, maybe we do lunch. Your treat. Whoa.

[A]

Just because Rocket Money's app consolidates checkings, savings, loans, and investments into a single dashboard to give me a clear view of my financial picture, doesn't mean you can take my lunch money.

[B]

Take a breath, honey.

[A]

Well, seriously, Rocket Money has saved me so much over the years. I really don't let any subscriptions fly past me.

[B]

Yeah, you tell them.

[A]

I am. I am checking that app. I'm making sure that everything I'm paying for. I'm aware of, boss. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join@rocket money.com smoshmouth that's rocket money.com smoshmouth rocketmoney.com smoshmouth okay, that's done.

[C]

So that's the end.

[A]

That's not drama. That's a. Hey, there's guys in the parking lot that sell tamales, and one of them

[B]

is really good, and they're probably delicious.

[C]

To give this a negative 10, these are.

[A]

Well, this is. Okay, I'm not going to give it negative numbers because it is still valuable information, but it's.

[B]

It's not drama.

[A]

It's not drama.

[C]

It's not drama.

[B]

What if the two guys are beefing?

[A]

Well, we don't know that. We only know that the beef is in the tamales.

[B]

What we only know is, like, yeah, the guy with the nice teeth has better tamales, I guess. Okay, what does that mean?

[A]

Yeah, what does that mean?

[C]

Zero.

[B]

I'm going to give this. Yeah. A five.

[C]

I just. I just got hungry hearing.

[A]

I'll give it a one. I'll give it a one because I love tamales.

[C]

Whoa.

[B]

That's awesome.

[A]

I'm obsessed with tamales.

[B]

That's so great.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

I genuinely mean it. But I don't know why I kept double downing.

[A]

What kind of tamales do you guys get when you get tamales?

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

Meat.

[A]

Which meat? I think it really matters.

[B]

Does it?

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[C]

Beef.

[B]

Chicken.

[A]

Oh, yeah, there's a chicken lady. Oh, man. I got this one that's, like, blue corn and cheese.

[B]

Yum.

[A]

With some tamales. The, like, vegetarian ones are the best one.

[B]

Yeah, Yeah, I agree.

[A]

Cheese and, like, corn and stuff.

[C]

So we have to move on. Yeah, we have to move on.

[B]

I am getting very hungry. So that's the dramas.

[A]

All right, so we read that. Fun fact 1. Now it's time for some drama. Balls to the walls. Asexual rhino. Sorry, I just read it.

[B]

I'm so glad.

[A]

Reddit names. Reddit names crush me.

[C]

Okay, so we're not into the drama yet.

[A]

So they have this rhino.

[C]

There's an asexual rhino, and there's a lady with a lion.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. They write. When my parents were in school, 80s and 90s, there was an openly gay man who lived in a big house near the school. The location is important. This man had a cast of his lover's testicles bronzed and then hung it up on his front door.

[B]

I love this.

[A]

That's amazing. For many years, all the middle and high school kids would walk to the house after school and take turns hiding behind the fence, darting into the yard and up to the door, rubbing the balls and then running back. It happened so often that the ball started to get discolored. The way statues do when they're touched in the same place over and over. The guy would sometimes come out and yell at the kids and they would scatter. My mom suspects that the guy actually thought it was funny and was yelling at them as part of the game. Eventually the balls were removed. My parents. Oh, no.

[C]

Oh, so sorry to hear that.

[A]

Sorry your front door was neutered.

[C]

Sorry. To this man.

[A]

My parents can't remember if they died, moved on, or what. Or moved or what. But the balls had been there so long that you could see their outline on the door for a long time. I used to think my parents were with me and had made up this story. But I work with a lot of people now who went to school with my parents and they all have the same story. I'm. I realize now that this isn't really a drama, but I think it's still a good story. There was definitely drama with some parents complaining to the school and the people in the couple. Apparently a lot of kids would have to to then run back to school afterward so they could still get a ride without their parents knowing. That's just a really fun fact.

[B]

The kids just wanted to touch the balls. Let them. What is the problem?

[A]

I mean, he had to have been okay. Something that's coming to my head here is like, he's getting mad at people for touching these balls. But he put them on the front door.

[B]

They're in his property.

[A]

Like if you're making his property. If you're making a set of nuts, the thing you have to grab to knock on your door.

[B]

I think that's incredible.

[A]

People are gonna come up and grab them. I think it's hilarious. But people are gonna come up and grab them.

[C]

They're gonna grab em.

[B]

They've been really grabbing them. If they're getting discolored. Yeah, they've been rubbed.

[C]

They've been rubbed.

[A]

They've been rubbed. And these kids are like, do you

[B]

wanna go touch the balls? Yeah. And they are like doing all these things and not telling their parents. If that was my kid, I'd be like, so, like, what was it like? Did you like what? Why did you want to go touch the balls?

[C]

Well, I wanna know.

[B]

I wanna know aggressively wanting to.

[C]

I actually don't think that's a mystery at all. I think. I think it makes so much sense.

[A]

It's hilarious.

[C]

On the door.

[A]

Wait, sorry. Okay, go on.

[C]

I'm sorry. I need us to just like hop back to when you were a fricking kid and something as funny and unexplored as balls. Yeah. Are on somebody's door.

[A]

Oh, I. I think it makes perfect sense from source.

[C]

You and your friends are gonna be like, let's go rub the out of that.

[B]

Which is why, as a parent, I'd want to go like, tell me, like, tell me, whose idea was it? Why did you want to do it? Like, I just want to hear from them.

[A]

And I'd be like, whose idea? It was all of our idea.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

There's a parent on a door.

[C]

Britney Spears.

[B]

It's his idea.

[A]

You gotta do it.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

I. I agree with you, though, that I think he shouldn't be upset. But it also is a good argument that it is still technically his property. My favorite part of it, though, is if he's just acting like he's, like, telling the kids to scram as a part of the game. I love it.

[B]

That's very funny.

[C]

I love it.

[A]

Get off.

[C]

Just like, get off my lawn. And then they run away and he just kind of smiles for a second. 100% there. That would be 10 out of 10.

[A]

Pretty good.

[B]

Yeah. I. I'm going to give that one a six.

[C]

What?

[A]

That gets a six.

[C]

It's not that. It's not really that drama.

[A]

He literally says it's not really drama or. I guess. Yeah, he literally. He literally said, yeah, you're saying I

[B]

gave it too high.

[A]

You said, yeah, that got a six.

[B]

Oh, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. Jesus. Three.

[A]

Okay, fine. Would you like to read the next

[B]

couple before we move on? I do have to tell this quick little story that just popped in my head and.

[C]

About balls.

[B]

Yeah, it is about balls, but it's about tennis balls. I'll never forget my front lawn. I don't know why, but we would always play on my front lawn. And this. This is gonna sound creepy, but it's not. We're fine. This man would. You know how tennis balls came in, like, a pack of three? Yeah, randomly. He'd drive by, slow down, and throw a pack of three tennis balls, like, on, like, it would hit me or hit my sister or, like, hit our front stairs.

[A]

That's expensive.

[B]

And it would happen all the time. So he would drive really fast.

[A]

I don't know if he got. He hates you. Or if he's giving you a gift.

[B]

And then he'd slow down and go and chuck the pack of three, and we'd be like, ow.

[A]

You don't know who this guy is?

[B]

No idea who he is. It happened.

[A]

None of you guys. How many balls did you guys collect?

[B]

Many, many, many. Many, many. And we would never tell my mom because we were like, ah, we don't want to.

[A]

Your mom didn't know about this?

[B]

No. So we would just tell my sister and was like, that guy just threw those.

[A]

Amanda, this is the most insane thing you've ever told me.

[B]

Well, I forgot about. Was deep in a memory box. What? And then it just unlocked.

[A]

Were they fresh packs?

[B]

Fresh packs, unopened. Okay.

[A]

He must have had the wrong addresses.

[B]

He would drive by and be like. And chuck them as hard as he could.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

They would hit me. They would hit me.

[A]

What kind of car was he driving?

[B]

Like, a Honda Civic. He was an older guy. And so then finally, like, I'm talking weeks of this.

[A]

Oh, this was a. This was an isolated incident. This wasn't over the course of years.

[B]

No, no, no, no.

[A]

Suddenly he was doing this Weeks.

[B]

Weeks.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It could be like three months.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And we'd always be like, why? Why is this happening? So then finally, I was like, mom, this man keeps throwing packs of three tennis balls into the yard. And it would constantly hit me. And she'd go, oh, that's Ira. She knew exactly who it was. It's one of her. One of her. My mom was a masseuse also. On top of being a teacher, of course. Massaged in the house. It was one of her massage clients. She was like, oh, he heard that you guys started playing tennis.

[A]

So he wouldn't even say anything to you? Nope, just throw him at me.

[B]

He would go slow down and chuck them as hard as he could at us. And that was his way of saying, oh, the girls are playing tennis. Let me.

[C]

Let me chuck tennis balls.

[B]

Like, nice three pack balls.

[A]

Those are truly. I think they're pretty pricey.

[B]

Yeah. Oh, I don't. There's a whole other world of me where my mom had a bunch of massage clients, and they were all the most ridiculous characters ever, right? And I'd always be like, hello. And they'd be like, your mom here? Like, it. My whole life was just random people in my house.

[C]

Totally.

[A]

Only in Boston could someone give a gift in a mean way. Like, really. Like, it's a very nice thing that he was doing, but the way he was doing it was assault and if. You know, literally throwing tennis balls to hit.

[B]

But my mom's like, how generous of him. That was very kind of him.

[C]

Thank you so much.

[A]

Did you thank him?

[B]

And I was like, I couldn't because he did a drive.

[A]

Because he drove past.

[C]

I want that so bad. To be the next stim. That's Ira.

[A]

Oh, that's Ira.

[C]

That's Ira.

[B]

Girls were playing tennis. He's doing a nice thing.

[C]

Oh, that's Ira.

[B]

If you, if you knew my family, you'd be like, of course.

[C]

Right? No, that is classic Cindy.

[B]

Anyways, this is a classic Cindy. But that. Those ball. All those ball stories.

[A]

We got a lot of balls.

[C]

I love it.

[A]

I love pickleballs.

[B]

Anyways, we can move on. It's not really hometown drama.

[C]

I'm going to give the balls on the door two out of 10, one for each ball. But I'm gonna give Ira 10 out of 10 because. Because it's love. Love, Ira.

[A]

I like these character stories, though. I do appreciate of like the. The interesting characters in these small towns. I love them.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay, next up we have from icy dash engine 2592. We could have been Buzzfeed. When I was in high school, the administration got rid of all school dances because there was too much inappropriate dancing happening at them.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

It caused quite the stir in town and was covered on local news. I didn't ever like school dances anyways, so it really didn't have an effect on me. But I remember finding out there was an article written about it on smosh.com. yes. Back when Smosh Pit had articles and I thought that was probably the coolest thing my town would ever do.

[B]

Smosh Pit had articles.

[A]

Well, smosh.com did because smosh.com was. It started as a website.

[C]

It was like a blog.

[A]

It had a bunch of stuff. It was. It was. It like. That's where they would upload their videos. At first. Anthony would make games like flash games on there and then. Yeah. They would just write, post articles and stuff for a long. Actually for a long time. There was even up until when I was working here, the website was still active and would still have posts and things.

[C]

What's a Flash game? Oh, no.

[A]

My beard grows out, I turn into a skeleton. Games that used to play on like web browsers back in the day were called flash games because they ran on flash software. So like ebomb's world and newgrounds.com. all these websites they would have. They're very like cartoon looking. Yeah. Games. But it was an engine, so it's called Flash games.

[C]

I see. Engine.

[B]

But you went to college during COVID Yeah.

[A]

You are two years old.

[C]

Yeah. Did I tell you I like ruined the vibe in here.

[B]

She ruined the vibe in a game.

[C]

We were just on video. We were just all talking about college and everyone was like, yeah. And. And like Arasha like, what was this year? Like, how was that? And I was like, oh, that was the year that Covet happened.

[B]

And I remember, like, you were in

[C]

college during COVID and, like, everybody just started on me.

[B]

I didn't. On her.

[C]

Everyone started throwing tennis balls at me.

[B]

That was Ira.

[C]

Oh, that's Ira.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I also think it must have been, like, you just didn't play games on your computer much.

[C]

Well, I played Disney Channel games.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I had to get the pizza boxes so that Carrie could sing in the hotel and Zack and Cody couldn't get caught by Mr. Mosby.

[A]

Those are flash games.

[C]

Those are flash games.

[B]

Whoa.

[C]

Hey, look at you. I just didn't need a flash drive to play them, so.

[A]

Well, you don't need a flash drive to play flash games.

[B]

We have to move on. Actually, you know what? This is fun for me. I feel healed.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Let's have the spotlight on our show.

[C]

Great. I think this is a perfect one. Selena titled this the most wholesome thing on here.

[B]

But wait a second. So let's break down this story. So Smash.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Literally, we just smashed on Smash, saw

[B]

this local story, and then wrote about it.

[A]

Yeah. I don't know who was writing the articles whenever this was. This happened because, you know, Ian would write a lot of articles in the beginning of Smosh.com, but I think they had multiple people working on it for a long time.

[B]

So they essentially had a bunch of grind lines, and they cut it down.

[C]

Grind lines?

[A]

Well, it was just. It was just. What's the. What's the movie?

[C]

Footloose.

[A]

Footloose? Yeah.

[C]

They just cut out the dances because the dancing was getting too crazy.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Footloose.

[C]

Right.

[B]

The town. Yeah.

[C]

Did you guys go to school dances?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh, yeah. We talked about this. Oh, I've been a part of Grind Lines.

[C]

And, Shane, you've been a part of Grind Lines?

[B]

Yeah, Everyone. Like, my town. Yeah. My town was a bunch of dancers.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

No, I. I don't know. Everyone was a part of Grind Lines. I wasn't like, the one in the grind line. It was like, me and all my friends and I'm.

[A]

And we're really happy for you guys.

[B]

It doesn't make me cool.

[C]

What does that look like? How is it a line?

[B]

Everyone's like, oh, my God. Grind line. It doesn't make me.

[A]

But you were. But you were popular in school. Yeah.

[C]

So you're like.

[B]

You're standing.

[A]

There's nothing wrong with that. I'm just saying. Yeah, but you were popular.

[B]

I was popular in school. I Don't know.

[A]

There's nothing. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with that.

[B]

I was popular and I was in the grind lines.

[A]

Hell, yeah, sue me.

[C]

And so that means somebody was standing and a bunch of your friends were.

[B]

You know what a grind line is?

[C]

No.

[B]

All right. A grind line is like a very.

[A]

Just graduated high school to.

[C]

To.

[B]

I just started grinding to bump on each other.

[C]

So essentially, I'm dancing like this. Yeah.

[B]

Someone dances behind you like this.

[C]

And someone dances in front of you like this.

[B]

And then someone dances in front of them like this. It's like a massage chair.

[A]

It's a horny conga line.

[B]

Yes. Okay. Yeah.

[C]

So there's just like.

[B]

Despise it.

[C]

Right?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Because there's more contact. It's more rubbing.

[A]

You're rubbing because they're forming a phalanx and you can't. How do you.

[B]

We're the human centipede. But grinding.

[C]

You're all just grinding on each other. But everybody's standing. Nobody's bent over.

[B]

People can be bent over if they want. If you're in the front that just. If you're in the front, what happens

[A]

in the grind line stays in the grind.

[B]

You're getting it from all, apparently.

[C]

Jesus Christ.

[B]

And if you're in the back.

[A]

If you're in the back, you just. You're just. You're in the back.

[B]

You're just going.

[A]

Anybody wanna.

[B]

Anybody wanna jump on?

[C]

Okay. Okay. So we think that maybe there were some grind lines at these.

[B]

I don't know.

[A]

We don't actually know.

[C]

It just says too much. Inappropriate dance.

[A]

Look, some schools are harsher than others where any physical contact.

[B]

Like I said, all of our dances were at an old vet hangout. And so the vets couldn't really do much.

[A]

They just watched.

[B]

Yeah, we had a lot of veterans, so it was like an armored car, Like a.

[A]

You thought veterinarians?

[C]

Yeah, I was like, you guys went to dance with the animals?

[B]

No, no, no. Old vets. Old vets who played cards and drank whiskey and talked about war. And they had like. What's one of those old school tanks?

[A]

A tank. I know that you meant something more specific.

[B]

You shut your mouth. They had a tank.

[A]

They had a tank.

[B]

There were two pet spots. They had a tank. They had a tank. And they would always go, you see

[A]

the tank out there?

[B]

And you were like, yes, I did. Can I get back to my grind line, old guy?

[A]

I was in the Battle of the Bulge. That's great. I gotta go grind on the front line.

[C]

I gotta Go grind my bulge.

[A]

I remember grinding on the front lines.

[C]

The veterans were the chaperones.

[A]

Okay, listen, Arasha, I'm picturing the most intense World War II veteran just sitting in the corner.

[B]

No, that's what they were. Except they were, like, selling candy and soda to us. And they were like. They were always so mad. They were so mad that we were there in their place, but they had no choice. They had no choice. They were like, this is our hangout. I'm so mad you guys are here. And they would just be like. And if your mom was late to pick you up, it sucked because you had to, like, stand with one of them. You were outside like this, and you're like.

[A]

You're like. You think this is cold? I remember Bastogne.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Okay, okay.

[A]

Sorry. We derailed there a little bit.

[B]

Sorry I had to talk. Old times.

[C]

For sure, for sure, for sure.

[A]

Go on.

[C]

Do we feel good to move on?

[A]

Yeah, I think.

[C]

Would you guys want to rate that one?

[B]

Yeah, that was.

[A]

That was school dance is getting banned mid. That's. That's two or three. I mean, that's. That. That's. That's very par for the course. I remember our school, our elementary school band. You weren't allowed to run during recess.

[C]

We were there.

[B]

Why is that so funny?

[A]

A kid. A kid ran into a pole, and I think the parents threatened to sue. This happened a lot.

[B]

Their kids are dumbass. Oh.

[A]

Oh, Arizona. You have to imagine Arizona. Arizona parents are like, that's. That's Karen central. The heat condenses the Karens into, like, a tougher.

[B]

They mold into one Karen.

[A]

The school constantly got threatened to be sued. So we. Over the course of my time in elementary school, we had less and less things we could do. And I remember when it finally. It was like, you're not allowed to run at recess. You're not allowed to run. And it was because a kid had run into a pole. And it's like, you know, the school. The school should. School should have issued a statement or just, like, skill issue, man. Like, you look ahead, front of you.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Yeah. So no running.

[C]

I think I had that, too, at my school in elementary school, they tried it, and then they failed, and we went back to something else. What? Because then it was like, you know, the speed walk.

[A]

You'd still find ways to sneak a run in. Like, hey, teachers aren't looking. Let's run around. Love.

[B]

I love sneaking runs in. Like, you're not supposed to run in the hallways, but you would always be like, oh, yeah, But I can get here way quicker.

[C]

Snuck a run in this morning.

[B]

That's just like a run.

[C]

Well, no, I meant diarrhea.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Why? Why? Okay. Why? Here's the hometown drama in Smosh. You talking about poop consistently?

[C]

I think it's good to share.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

I think it sounds.

[B]

I think you can talk about poop.

[A]

It sounds like maybe you need to change up the diet a little bit.

[C]

Sounds like you guys are jealous.

[A]

Not at all.

[B]

I am quite jealous.

[A]

Not at all.

[B]

I would love to poop multiple times a day, but it's not possible. My GA track is fucked up.

[C]

Okay, Amanda, that's really crazy of you to bring that up.

[B]

I'm having fun.

[C]

That's so gross.

[A]

Next drop.

[B]

I am having a good time.

[C]

Having a good time. I'm gonna give the school dance 1A1. Only because the fact that it was also an article written about it. That's the only part that's interesting to me.

[A]

This episode of Smoshmouth is sponsored by Stitch Fix. Summer has arrived, and I realized my wardrobe was missing a few essentials. Lightweight tees, shorts, and a few outfits for special occasions. But I'm not looking for just a random piece of clothing. I wanted a full outfit that felt styled and catered to me. And that's why I use Stitch Fix. Stitch Fix sends me personalized pieces from my stylist. All I have to do is take a style quiz that includes my size, style, and budget. Then I wait for my Fix box to arrive in the mail. I try on all the pieces in the comfort of my own home and return anything that I don't like, which rarely happens if you don't have an exact idea of what you want or are looking to experiment a little, Stitch Fix can give you themed boxes. This makes it so easy to see a complete look. When I received my Fix box, I was so happy with it, because whenever I get, like, a single piece of clothing, I try to figure out how it fits into my wardrobe. But to get a full, complete look takes all that stress away. You get to know I can just put this all on right now. So stop shopping and get styled today@stitch fix.com smosh to get 20 off your first order. That's stitch fix.com smosh. Back to the show.

[C]

So the next story is from a user called Char Chomp.

[A]

That's a good one. It's a good Reddit name. Amanda, you wouldn't believe this, but I have a few transactions that I accidentally forgot about. Forgot about?

[B]

What do you mean?

[A]

I mean, I was subscribed to a few things that kept charging me every month and I forgot to cancel them. Before I knew it, I was spending way too much money. That's why I started to use Rocket Money.

[B]

I thought Rocket Money just helped you with budgets.

[A]

Well, yes, it can categorize purchases, help you stay on budget, but Rocket Money can track subscriptions and has the ability to cancel unwanted ones within the app.

[B]

I'm really, really happy that your wallet is feeling a little bit more full. So, you know, maybe we do lunch, your treat. Whoa.

[A]

Just because Rocket Money's app consolidates checkings, savings, loans and investments into a single dashboard to give me a clear view of my financial picture, doesn't mean you can take my lunch money.

[B]

Take a breath, honey.

[A]

Well, seriously, Rocket Money has saved me so much over the years. I really don't let any subscriptions fly past me.

[B]

Yeah, you tell them.

[A]

I am. I am checking that app. I'm making sure that everything I'm paying for, I'm aware of, boss. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. [e-mail] Smoshmouth that's RocketMoney.com Smoshmouth RocketMoney.com Smoshmouth

[C]

so I grew up in a small town in India. Growing up, one of my dad's colleague was a bachelor and a true gem of a man, let's call him V. He would always help people participate in local festivals and holiday celebrations and was a very jovial fellow. He was also the first person in my town who would give free tuitions to the poorer kids on Sundays and Saturday evenings and buy them school supplies, new clothes, and even pay for this kid's school fees so they didn't have to drop out. Four years ago in 2022, he had a sudden stroke while on an evening walk. He was taken to the hospital and he was diagnosed with a stroke that had affected both his heart and his brain. I'm not a medically inclined person, so I'm not sure of what the condition was. Essentially, the cost of surgery and recovery was far more than what he could afford at the time. But for a small town, people rallied behind him. For the first time, I saw people of my small town, even those who were the bad natured people, come together as a community to raise the funds for his surgery and post care. They organized a full raffle sheet campaign targeting people from Neighboring towns, people donated money from their own savings. And at any given time, there were so many visitors to his hospital room every day someone would make him home, cook meals for him so he wouldn't have to eat hospital food when asked. I remember one of my parents friends said that V was a man who would lay on mud and let people walk all over him if it meant someone else's shoe wouldn't get dirty.

[B]

Whoa.

[C]

He was a man. That was the reason why so many poorer families had a future now. Because he gave. Because he gave their kids a chance to succeed in life through education. The town truly believed in the kindness of this man and came together to save him. V didn't survive post op and passed away. His Funeral had over 2500 people walking to the cremation ground and everyone wept. One of the kids he taught has since started a school in his name in the town and has become a teacher to the other kids. He was a hero and he inspired so many people to be better and kinder.

[B]

Oh, wow. Well, this should be a novel.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So rest in peace, V.

[A]

As far as drama goes.

[C]

Zero.

[A]

Zero out of ten. As far as. Absolutely beautiful story. Ten out of ten. No, there's no, there's no. That. That is polar opposite. That is the sweetest.

[C]

Truly.

[B]

That is a great story.

[A]

The. That fills me with hope and joy.

[C]

Good. Incredibly heartfelt.

[A]

What an incredible man.

[C]

Seriously.

[B]

An incredible man.

[C]

Wow. This reminds me of my late grandfather actually, because he was similarly like such a giving man. And he had, he had this thing too that like in his pocket. He always had just like these like, like candies.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And everywhere he would go, he would just give like random people like these like candies and stuff like candy. It was like a little Indian suite. They were like, like wrapped up individually and he would just like give them out. He'd always have them. And similarly, like anytime he had like money in his pocket or anything, like, he would always just like randomly be giving it out to people. Like.

[B]

So sweet.

[C]

It's. It's just such a. It's such an incredible trait to have the ability to not care about what you have at all and just want to be at its most extreme, just generous.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Also candies, man. I don't, I don't know what it is about older people, but my, my, like my great aunt would have bowls of candy in her house.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Bowls of can, all different candy. I didn't know how long the candy was out or how long had been there.

[C]

Totally.

[B]

Sometimes you'd try it and Was like

[A]

my papa Ted always had those lemon. The lemon. The lemon heads. Not lemon heads. It was. They were like, a little more coated. The lemon heads are, like, smooth.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

These were the other. But they're like a lemon sour candy and then. Or peppermints.

[B]

Peppermint.

[A]

There was a time when we were driving. He was. He had to drive. Right. He was too nervous to. If he wasn't driving, he'd be in the passenger seat behind the driver's seat, like, gripping the person and. But one time he was driving us and was my mom, my brother and I, and I just somehow didn't notice. But, you know, he was smacking on peppermints the entire drive. And at one point, I turned, I just see my mom, and she's just like, she's so annoying. My mind is smacking on those peppermints. He truly. He truly. In, like, the, like, basically one of the cup holders, he just always had, like, a big thing of, like, candies.

[C]

Totally, totally.

[A]

Diet Dr. Peppers and candies all day, every day.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

He's rocking on those things.

[C]

So sweet.

[B]

Ours was like Seagram's ginger ale and Werther's.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

But, yeah, people like that from this story really, like, it sucks that they are so rare. Like, like, really to hear those people who are just super selfless.

[C]

Agreed. Agreed.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I mean, that's. That's why they're called gems. They're. Right.

[A]

Absolutely.

[C]

But I think what's really beautiful, too, is that the fact that, like, what he was maybe think or like what other people could have maybe said about him is like. Oh, especially when it's just like what we're kind of sharing of, like, you know, giving out candies, it could feel like such a small little thing that this person is doing. But then when something happened to him, the fact that he was able to bring together this entire town and community in a way that, yeah. Further shaped them, like, solidified this community. Whatever happens now. I think, like, he changed.

[A]

He made such an impact on it. Yeah. It was glue.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That community V. Wow.

[B]

B.

[A]

B, I'm good. Yeah. I'm giving that a 0 to 10 as a compliment.

[B]

Agree.

[A]

But I'm like, that's not drama.

[B]

Yeah, that's good.

[A]

That's the best thing.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

Because a draw. Drama rips a town apart. And he did the opposite.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yes, it does. There's always sides. Okay, here's one. A great follow up. A Shit and run. Excellent title. Whoa. Alice. Alyssa K. Singh, in September of 2020, a man broke into a home Shit in the dishwasher and left. He didn't even steal anything. Just hung a dump and bolted A shit and run. I don't think they ever caught the poopy perp. But this made global news.

[A]

Let global news.

[B]

Let this story be a reminder to lock your doors before bed.

[A]

I love that it made global news. Like in China, they're like, you will not believe what happened in Sacramento.

[C]

Hung a dump. But like, we're talking second row hung.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. That's a very inconvenient place to poop. No, that someone had a vendetta. That. That is good because that has. It has mystery. It does have a crime. But the crime, nobody got like super hurt. Massively inconvenienced.

[B]

Why in the dishwasher.

[C]

So that way when it runs, it's like poop water all over the dish.

[B]

Oh my God. They up.

[A]

It's like. It's like. It's truly like the evolution of a double decker. Right? Like you're really, really putting some effort.

[B]

You ever done

[A]

upper decker?

[C]

Have you hanged a dump in the dishwasher?

[A]

No, I've never heard of doing it.

[B]

You know what an upper deck is? What's a double decker?

[A]

A double decker is when you do both.

[C]

A little bit down there and a little bit on top.

[B]

Shade. Boring childhood, my ass.

[A]

My brother made so many upper decker jokes when I was a kid. I don't know why.

[B]

You're a wild kid.

[A]

I thought it was so funny, the thought of.

[B]

Do you know what an upper decker is?

[A]

An upper decker's when you shit in the top.

[B]

In the.

[A]

In the.

[C]

In the thing behind the toilet.

[A]

Yeah. You lift up the top and you do it there so that when you flush, shit comes.

[B]

You stun. Have you ever heard of that?

[A]

It's like a.

[B]

Hey, there's a lot that you can learn. It's cool when you're born earlier than you. We.

[A]

Yeah, no, that was the 90s.

[C]

And you're saying that's an old timey thing?

[A]

I don't think it's.

[B]

It's not old timey. I bet bros do it all.

[A]

You can still do it. Toilets are still the same.

[B]

Shane could do it anytime he wants. You could do it anytime you wanted.

[C]

Okay, I guess I could try.

[A]

We can't really do it. I don't think the toilets here. Smosh. Have the tanks. They're a little more industrial.

[C]

Sure.

[A]

Style.

[C]

Okay, well then I'm not super.

[A]

But like if you're visiting someone's home and you don't like them, you could Drop an upper decker. Yeah, Them.

[C]

Okay, okay.

[A]

But the dishwasher. Yeah, it's interesting. It's like, where.

[B]

Way worse. Where?

[A]

In the dishwasher.

[B]

It's way worse because you have to, like, literally, what do you do?

[A]

You got to get rid of that dishwasher.

[C]

Hopefully it was like, one in each of, like, the utensil. Like, pockets.

[A]

We don't need to speculate like that.

[B]

Anyways.

[A]

I just mean I'm going to give this a. I'm going to give this an 8 because this is M. Mr. IOUs. That. That is a. It's bold. It's weird. It's like there's clearly. And I think there's more to this story. I kind of agree for it to just be left as. We don't know why this happened, what's going on. It's like. I think. I think there's probably a lot going on.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. The poopy perp.

[B]

I'm giving this a 7.5.

[C]

I'm trying to think of my package deal. Definitely is effort. You had to break in. You had to. In the dishwasher. It's creative, it's intelligent. It doesn't directly harm anybody, but it obviously is a massive inconvenience.

[A]

I mean. Yeah. It's not like someone died.

[C]

Right. And it's really funny. I'm trying to think. I'm trying to think if somebody in my hometown was like, whoa. Like, did you hear? Like, somebody. Somebody shit in. In Ira's dishwasher? Like, I feel like I would. I would.

[B]

Ira would never accept that, right?

[C]

No. Ira would go out and chuck some balls. I'm gonna say a nine.

[A]

Whoa.

[C]

I'm gonna say a nine because I'm believing that there is a lot more to the story and the mystery is keeping me alive.

[B]

And it has to do with, I

[A]

think, to hit a 9 or a 10. Like, an affair needs to happen and the governor needs to be involved.

[B]

Oh, my God. A governor.

[A]

That, to me, is like 10.

[B]

I want to cozy up to that story.

[A]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

Okay. This has nothing to do with the governor. Here's the next story. The Toucans are out.

[A]

Oh. Oh.

[B]

Where are they?

[A]

One's up there.

[B]

Hey, little guys. Okay. Oh. This is directed to me. This is a direct thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

John Mello, artist, says, ask Amanda about New Bedford, Massachusetts, various historical contributions, and how much she loved the whaling museum field trips. It is true. I went to whaling museum field trips all the time. It is the saddest museums.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It's literally about fishermen killing whales. For their blubber and oil. And they're all over New Bedford.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

New Bedford is where my grandparents lived. Very Portuguese. Also see if she remembers. Oh, Also see if she remembers a seagull sculpture with its toucans out. For some reason, this was the first thing that came to mind. This sculpture went up by the port and it caused quite a controversy. The artist Donna Dodson and notoriously beloved Sarah Seagull Cinderella. I don't know if I remember this, but it's a seagull with her two cans out. Boobs. And her toucans are out.

[A]

Just a. Okay.

[B]

And she's at a whaling museum.

[C]

Matching with the toucan.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Guys, I don't remember this. I don't remember this. I probably would have remembered this if I saw it.

[A]

Is that a seagull or is that a pelican? I guess it's a seagull.

[B]

How dare you. It's a seagull. Look at her.

[A]

She's posed just a. Wow.

[B]

And look, their toucans are out.

[C]

I really can't pull my eyes away.

[B]

She's loud and proud.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. That is epic. Yeah. Whaling museums were a big part of my life. They're really intense.

[A]

Yeah, sounds like it.

[B]

There are like lot of Portuguese fishermen. That's what they did. And they're. They're like museum field trip. When you're a kid and you're like, it's the saddest museum I've ever been to. Thank you for the shout out. I don't remember this. This seagull, but pretty freaking epic. Look at her. She's got a long skirt on too, right?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Also what's the drama there?

[C]

Yeah. Also not feeling super, super dramatic about it, but. It is, but I love it.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

They're trying to jog some memories about your hometown.

[B]

And that's the drama.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

The drama is no kid should go to the whaling museum. That's the drama there.

[C]

Yeah, sure.

[A]

Do you want me to read this last one?

[B]

Yeah, you can read it.

[A]

All right, here we go.

[B]

Take it home.

[A]

Here's our final. Our final hometown drama. That's an expensive curse. 0side writes. How about the time my city, Spokane, Washington, got put under a 1.4 million dollar Romani curse because of a rogue police raid. Basically back in 1986, the local cops went completely rogue and launched this massive hyper aggressive raid on the homes of Grover and Jimmy Marks, who were leaders of the local Romani community. They were looking for stolen jewelry, but ended up ransacking the place, ripping through baby's Diapers and taking millions in cash and heirloom.

[B]

Hey, those are expensive.

[A]

Shocking. Absolutely no one. The courts later ruled the entire raid was 100% illegal and a massive violation of civil rights. But instead of just filing a normal lawsuit and waiting around, Jimmy Marks decided to wage absolute psychological warfare on the city. He walked straight into a crowded city council meeting and placed a formal public curse on the city and everyone in charge. The best part is he didn't just say it and walk away. He spent the next 15 years trolling city hall every time the city had a budget crisis, a terrible winter storm, or a political scandal. Jimmy would show up to council meetings to mock the officials and remind them the curse was working. At one point, he literally parked a hearse right outside city hall, threw the doors open, and told everyone he was unleashing his dead father's spirit to haunt the building forever. The city officials got so completely rattled by the endless bad press that they eventually just broke. In the late 90s, they cut the family a 1.43 million dollar settlement check just to get him to stop. Jimmy took the cash, but he passed away a few years later without ever officially lifting the hex. To this day, whenever something bizarre or disastrous happens in local politics here, everyone still jokes that the building is cursed. Whoa, that rocks.

[B]

That rocks. There's no governor involved or making out by politics.

[A]

I did not consider that a curse. Putting a curse on all the officials of a town, that's, that's, that's not just hometown drama. That's legend status. They're talking about that for 100 years.

[B]

They're still going to. They're still talking about it.

[A]

They're still talking about it.

[C]

That's awesome.

[A]

And he died before the hex was lifted.

[B]

Oh, did he die before he could spend any of that money?

[A]

Maybe he. I don't know.

[C]

It wasn't about the money.

[A]

It wasn't about the money?

[B]

No, it wasn't about the money. It was about having the power and control over these people.

[C]

And the principle, like, what a great reason to put a fucking curse.

[A]

Well, they robbed the town. Robbed him.

[C]

Insanely so. That is a crazy story.

[B]

Why did they rob him?

[A]

They raided the.

[C]

I mean, the, they basically just had this like, illegal police raid.

[B]

Yeah, they ripped through diapers.

[A]

The, the local cops went completely rogue and launched this massive hyper aggressive raid on the homes. And they were looking for stolen jewelry, but ended up ransacking the place. I mean, this type of thing.

[B]

I love that. I love that. He's like, I'm going to get back at you by putting a hex on all of you.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah. And every time something bad happened, he stormed back in and would just be like, reminder that this is because of me.

[A]

Yeah. By the way, this. All this happened.

[B]

All this.

[A]

It's my curse.

[C]

That's the hex. I love it.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

I love it.

[B]

I. I'm gonna give this, like, a nine.

[A]

Yeah, I think that's a nine. That's. That is stellar. And it goes on for 15 years. He parked a hearse outside of city Hall. Like, that's dedication.

[B]

Although if he was like, my husband or brother, I'd be like, you gotta stop.

[C]

Right, right, right.

[A]

You know, I say constantly, like, I am a skeptical person, but if someone was like, I'm cursing you, I'd be like, believe it. Hey, man, can we. Can we figure this out?

[B]

I don't want to be.

[A]

Let's not.

[C]

Right. I agree. I'm. I'm in the nine zone as well. I think. I. I want to give it 9.5, because I also wish he just, like, kissed someone.

[A]

An affair still?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

There was some sort of an affair. If it turned out that the raid happened because the mayor raided his place because Jimmy was having sex with his mayor.

[C]

With the mayor who had a penis

[A]

or with the mayor who's a woman

[C]

who has a penis.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. But I. I just. Sex needs to happen for it to hit the 10 mark.

[C]

Agreed. Agreed.

[A]

But.

[C]

And maybe it did. We're just not hearing about it. But I bet Jimmy.

[B]

I doubt it. They would.

[A]

Spokane, Washington. Nobody's having sex.

[C]

Jimmy was. Jimmy was.

[A]

Jimmy was the only one.

[C]

He just.

[A]

I think he would go a town over.

[B]

Jimmy.

[A]

Definitely want to tell you. Drive down to Eugene, Oregon.

[B]

Yeah. Because they didn't know about him. I mean, a guy putting a curse

[A]

is kind of like a bit of Washington and Oregon. When shit happens up there, it's not just like, oh, a little bit of drama. It's like, no. People died.

[B]

People die.

[A]

The. Those states do not mess around at all. Yeah, they really don't.

[B]

It's pretty epic. Twin Peaks was filmed there. Yeah, it's pretty epic.

[A]

No. Wow.

[B]

So this was our highest drama story. And, yes, we apparently have a lot more hometown dramas, so I kind of think we need to do a part two.

[A]

Probably. Probably.

[B]

Wow, guys, thank you so much for submitting all these. This is amazing.

[A]

Yeah. And thank you, Arasha, for joining us.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, thanks for having me. You know, I love the drama.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Well, now I know why. So you can be connected and included.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And it's interesting.

[A]

It is very interesting. All of these were interesting.

[B]

Very interesting.

[A]

I will give them that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Whether we rated it high or not on a drama scale.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Does not mean they're not.

[B]

I will never forget about the balls knocking on the door.

[C]

Never forget about the balls.

[A]

You know, before we go, I mean, I love drama. We love. We love people's wild stories. Arasha, you have a podcast that's all about that.

[C]

Yeah, entirely. So, yes, thank you. Yeah, pretty much. I have a podcast called Festpool. It's on YouTube and also on all podcast platforms. And essentially it's kind of like what we did today, except people submit them anonymously via voicemails. And so we sort of get to hear from people's actual voices what they want to share about anything. They're confessing. They're confessing a secret. It could be. It could be drama related. It could be wholesome stuff like that. And similarly, it's tough because we always want more information.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It's always like, oh, I don't know all the details, but we just kind of have to go off of. Of what we hear. But they're leaving.

[B]

They leave voices listening and then responding to it.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. So it's like a call in confession show, which I need both of you on the couch with me.

[B]

Oh, I would love.

[C]

So this is your official invitation.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

And I've been waiting for it.

[B]

I've heard. Waiting for it.

[C]

And here it is.

[B]

Checking my mailbox.

[C]

Yes, I would love that.

[A]

I would. I would love to join.

[C]

Let's fess.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

It's. It gets dirty.

[B]

Let's fess. Short for confess. Right, Exactly.

[C]

And it rhymes with cesspool.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Which is like dirty bacteria. Like dirty little secrets.

[B]

Of course.

[C]

It's a bit of a scientific vibe.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, well, we're in Go watch Fest pool. It's. I've already watched some of your episodes. It's very funny and very juicy. Oh, my God.

[C]

Thank you very much. That. That's. That's the thing is it's interesting.

[A]

It does not take much for people to confess things.

[C]

Things. Yeah.

[A]

I'm like, hey, man. All right.

[B]

Before.

[C]

Before people even knew what I was doing with their confessions because we needed confessions to start before the show even was announced. So I just sort of randomly haphazardly just made a video asking people to just send in confessions.

[A]

And people just called and be like, I killed a man. I killed him.

[B]

I burned down a house.

[C]

We got 10,000. We got 10,000 calls.

[B]

People want to get things off their chest. They do. And if it's anonymous, they can get it off their chest without having to.

[A]

You're doing a good. You're letting people lighten the load. And you're also letting us all enjoy the juiciness.

[C]

Oh, absolutely. In the hopes that there will be some sort of redemption, forgiveness. Like, that's, you know, that's the undertone of it. But at the end of the day, a lot of people just end up being like, it feels good to get this off my chest.

[B]

I love it. Well, I can't wait to be on festival. Thank you so much for watching Hometown Drama. Hopefully part two.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

All right.

[B]

All right.

[A]

See you later.

[B]

Bye.

[A]

Bye.