#156 - Smosh Mouth For Men

Summary

Smosh Mouth For Men – Episode 156 (August 10, 2026)

Brief Overview

This “Smosh Mouth for Men” episode flips the script on the usual panel, assembling Shayne Topp, Damien Haas, and Trevor in a playful “all-dudes” take on the familiar Smosh banter. With Amanda Lehan-Canto away, the group jokes about finally having a “podcast for men,” but quickly pivots into discussions about masculinity, nostalgia, the art of bug removal, dessert rankings, home defense strategies, voiceover adventures, and candid advice on emotional intelligence. The episode is energetic, irreverent, and packed with warmth, humor, and honest vulnerability.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. “A Podcast For Men” – Opening Banter & Masculinity Play (00:01–06:21)

• The panel jokes about the all-male lineup and irony of a “guys only” podcast (00:01).
  • Notable quote: “Finally, a podcast for men!” – Damien (00:13)
• Humorous comparisons of “straightness,” using metaphors like “a straight man the way a tomato is a fruit” – not what people expect at Smosh (00:46–01:11).
• They joke about each person’s “manly sport”: football (Shayne), basketball (Trevor), and Pokémon (Damien).
• Capacious, playful take: “I got back on just for the Jirachi event… It’s very addictive.” – Trevor (01:55–02:04)
• Playful exploration of what “manliness” means and how arbitrary/culturally defined it is (06:21–07:13).

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2. Juice Obsessions and Capri Sun Challenge (03:00–06:09)

• Damien confesses a juice habit thanks to “100% Juice” Capri Sun at Costco, to comedic ridicule (03:00–03:44).
• Childhood memories of Capri Sun flavors and attempting Guinness World Records for fastest drink (04:26–05:34).
  • “I feel like in my memories as a kid, I drank them in under three seconds.” – Shayne (05:34)
• Discussion on the validity of “manly” stunts (e.g., carrying all groceries, moving sofas solo), with self-aware, comic undertones.

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3. Everyday Masculine Acts & Gendered Chores (06:21–11:08)

• Reflection on the urge to do “one trip” with groceries, carrying things as a masculine badge (07:26–08:36).
• Damien and Shayne trade stories about junk accumulating in the trunk and “manly” laziness.
• Roundtable on “bug guy” responsibilities at home—how handling bugs is a stereotypical “manly” job but also a source of fear and empathy.
  • Notable quote: “I handle the spiders and bugs, by which I mean I capture them gently and put them outside.” – Damien (11:08)
  • “Having to become the bug guy is tough… you start dating and you have to become the guy that takes care of the bugs.” – Trevor (11:19)

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4. Bug Stories: Ethics, Fears, and Tactics (11:08–17:29)

• Stories about handling bugs, with humor and honesty—recurring trauma of lost spiders, praying mantis battles, and wasp vendettas (15:47).
  • “Wasps can go fuck themselves.” – Shayne (16:02)
  • “I had a 20-minute battle with a wasp, broom in one hand and a foam basketball in the other… like Dark Souls.” – Shayne (16:12–16:38)
• Philosophical turn: why do we kill bugs? Should we? Childhood influences discussed (13:46).

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5. Home Security, Night Fears, and Defense Strategies (24:36–29:10)

• Sharing of nighttime paranoia and “home defense” routines.
• Trevor’s shadow-figure bedroom scare: “I look up and there’s just straight up a shadowy figure… my heart was beating so fast.” (23:41–24:36)
• Tactical tips: “Put a tube sock on a baseball bat by your bed… so if an intruder grabs it, the sock slips off.” – Damien (24:36)
• Humor about ineffective “larper” defensive methods: pepper spray, tasers, “paint cans on strings.” (27:57–29:10)

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6. Dessert Rankings Debate (31:56–41:19)

• Panel revisits a recurring Smosh debate: categorical dessert rankings.
  • Strong pro-ice-cream consensus. “Ice cream, number one… the floor is so high for ice cream.” – Shayne (36:01)
  • Flan and custard-based desserts earn surprise praise.
• Arguments over cake’s variability: “There’s some shitty cake and also cakes where I’m like, this is changing my life.” – Damien (35:56)
• Hot takes: preferring cold cookies over warm, skeptics of chocolate lava cake, proper ice cream texture, and the “microwaving ice cream” controversy.
  • “I like hard, cold ice cream.” – Damien (41:00)
  • “I like my ice cream fast!” – Shayne (40:48)

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7. Temperature Wars & Roommate Conflicts (43:08–47:10)

• Recollections of battling for thermostat control, sneaking cooler temps as a kid, and the compromises of sharing AC settings as adults.
  • Damien’s sneaky childhood hack: “I’d just go against [the thermostat] to make the temperature rise—buy me 10 minutes of cooling.” (43:27)
• Relatable tales of “hot households,” handling poor air conditioning, and fans everywhere.

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8. Leather Crafting & Manly Creativity (47:16–48:03)

• Damien used to do leathercrafting—making gauntlets and an anniversary book cover for a partner.
  • “Doing something special and kind for your partner… that’s maybe one of the manliest things you can.” – Trevor (48:02)

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9. Anime For Amanda? (48:37–53:15)

• Hypothesizing which anime Amanda would like: Attack on Titan, Death Note, Vinland Saga, Witch Hat Atelier, and Delicious in Dungeon.
  • “I think Amanda would love Death Note… she loves true crime and that’s such a fun twist.” – Shayne (50:00)
  • “Frieren is just, I think, a masterpiece… all about what you do after the hero’s journey, and grief.” – Damien (51:30–52:06)
• Quick tangent on anime dubbing: Shayne’s first session with Damian, the process and learning the “anime voice.”
  • “It’s trippy… I had to match to the mouth and get the emotions across in translation.” – Shayne (53:15)

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10. Emotional Growth & Advice Section (58:11–66:26)

• Advice to a listener: "What's something you’ve gotten better at as you’ve aged?"
  • “Letting someone have an emotion about you without it being in your control.” – Damien (58:43)
  • Anxiety, confidence, handling failure, the value of improv, and decreasing self-consciousness as you age.
  • “I have failed enough now where failure doesn’t scare me like it used to.” – Shayne (60:14)
  • Empathy increases with age; being “less intense,” more able to put oneself in other’s shoes (64:11).
• Trevor’s healthy perspective: “I think as I’ve gotten older… I become a lot more empathetic.”

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11. “Bro Pill” & Good Guy Anxiety (66:26–71:18)

• Reddit dilemma: “How do I know I’m one of the good ones?” re: being a trustworthy, respectful man.
  • “Are you a safe space for others when there are no women in the room?” – Damien (69:08)
  • “If you’re already thinking about [being a good guy], you probably are.” – Trevor (67:38)
  • All agree it’s about intention, boundaries, and being open to feedback.

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12. “Roman Empire” Meme & Daily Preoccupations (71:31–75:41)

• What’s your actual “Roman Empire”? (What do you think about every day?)
  • Damien: Pokémon, Magic, Dark Souls lore, animal facts.
  • Trevor: Pirates (seriously).
  • Shayne: Animals and nature.
• Celebrity "boy crushes":
  • “Austin Butler, Glenn Powell, and Robert Pattinson for me.” – Trevor (74:43–75:27)
  • “Henry Cavill in Mission Impossible Fallout, that’s the peak.” – Shayne (75:41–76:22)
  • Javier Bardem as seen through Penelope Cruz's camera (the "female gaze" discussion) (76:44–77:24)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I am a straight man in the way that a tomato is a fruit.” – Damien (00:46)
• “Wasps can go fuck themselves. They don’t even make honey.” – Shayne (16:02–16:07)
• “Doing something special and kind for your partner that you know they’ll appreciate. That’s maybe one of the manliest things.” – Trevor (48:02)
• “If you’re already thinking about being a good guy, you probably are.” – Trevor (67:38)
• “Are you a safe space for others, but specifically women, when there are no women in the room?” – Damien (69:08)
• “I have failed enough now where failure doesn’t scare me like it used to.” – Shayne (60:14)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [00:01–06:21] — Opening "For Men" Banter & Masculinity
• [03:00–06:09] — Juice Obsession & Capri Sun Challenges
• [07:26–08:36] — Carrying Everything in One Trip (Manliest Habit)
• [11:08–17:29] — Bug-Busting Stories & Handling Fears
• [24:36–29:10] — Home Security Stories & Defense Tactics
• [31:56–41:19] — Dessert Category Showdown & Ice Cream Debate
• [43:08–47:10] — Thermostat Drama, AC Wars, and Roommate Compromises
• [48:37–53:15] — What Anime Would Amanda Like? Anime Dubbing Narratives
• [58:11–66:26] — Emotional Maturity, Anxiety, and Growth
• [66:26–71:18] — “Bro Pill”: On Being a "Good Guy," Respect, and Self-Awareness
• [71:31–75:41] — Roman Empire Meme; Daily Obsessions; Male Celebrity Crushes

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Closing Thoughts

The episode winds down with the trio admitting they never fully defined “manliness,” but conclude that being a man is about “caring about others and treating your fellow man with kindness.” The playful decree: anyone listening is “a full grown man” for the duration of the podcast (78:00). As the episode ends, the dynamic is light, affirming, and deeply self-aware—a classic Smosh blend of earnestness and absurdity.

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For listeners new or old, this episode balances rapid-fire humor with grounded, sincere dialogue—a celebration and deconstruction of what it currently means (or doesn’t mean) to be “manly.”

Transcript

[A]

Hello. Welcome to Smosh Mouth for Men. I'm Shane and I'm joined by two other men, Damien and Trevor.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Sup, fellow man?

[B]

I know everybody's been asking for it. Smosh Mouth for men.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Finally, a podcast for men.

[A]

People have been clamoring for this.

[C]

The ladies and the ladies have gone. So us will play now.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The dudes. Amanda is in Boston, so.

[B]

Boston. Pretty manly for that lady convention.

[A]

But hey, if anyone's upset about an episode for men, don't worry because in the coming weeks it's going to. We're going to do the opposite. So it'll be Amanda and I'll be gone and then Smoshmouth for women. So don't worry, don't worry, don't worry.

[C]

I heard this recently on like a. On a comment on a TikTok somewhere, but I've adopted it as my own. Like, I am a. I am a straight man in the way that a tomato is a fruit where you're like, really? Oh. And you sort of like, you're like, oh, yeah, no, that's. He's. That's a man and he's straight and there you go.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. But I feel like being at Smosh, people are probably like, really? You're straight?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, it's just like, yes. Yeah.

[B]

I'm a straight man in the way that Little Caesar's crazy bread is bread.

[C]

Yeah. So you're like, you're like man.

[B]

Plus, you know, crazy bread is kind of just like normal bread to a guy like me.

[C]

That's how my twisted minded brain.

[B]

Twisted brain.

[C]

I like that. We've all got our sports here.

[A]

Yeah. So, yeah, I've got football, I got

[C]

basketball and I've got Pokemon. Both training and catching and friendship in battles.

[B]

Lots of walking and bike riding too.

[C]

Lots of that. Which I do while sitting down and playing it on a screen. Yeah, but you could.

[A]

But you can. I have been pocopying it it up again.

[C]

Really?

[A]

I. I restarted it like a month ago.

[C]

It's a good time.

[A]

It's a problem for me. Dude.

[B]

I got back on just to. For the Jirachi event.

[C]

Oh yeah.

[B]

And I was. I was playing and I was like, this is good. Like I might have to. I can.

[A]

Addictive. It's very addictive.

[C]

Those not in the know. It's a Pokemon game that like, if. If Minecraft and Animal Crossing had a little Babo and raised that babbo well to lead a good life, it would be copia. You know, it's a good time.

[B]

It's a really good game.

[A]

Martinelli's hits.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Does it really?

[A]

It hits. What's the.

[C]

What's the vintage? What's the.

[A]

It's a 97. It is very bad.

[C]

Oh, the year the Yankees won.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Oh, that actually is delicious.

[A]

As a.

[C]

As a juice drinker myself.

[A]

No. Anything with cranberry. I'm all in.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You are immune to UTIs.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Therefore, get them.

[B]

I drink cranberry juice even if I don't have a uti.

[A]

It's delicious.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cause I love, like, a real intense tartness.

[B]

Oh, I love a tartness.

[C]

I like a tart juice.

[B]

Tartness is one of the manliest kind of flavor notes.

[C]

I think tartness is next to fartness.

[A]

Smoky Umami. Tartness.

[B]

Tartness.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And also BlackBerry.

[A]

Indeed.

[C]

That's the fourth.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I had to slow down on the juice, fellas.

[A]

What?

[C]

Yeah, I had to slow down on the juice because I don't know if you know this. You probably do since you're. You know, fellas, Costco, they have Capri sun, but hold on for a minute. They got 100% juice. Capri Sun. So it's not that baby stuff where they're watering it down. This is the straight up.

[A]

Wait, in the pouches.

[C]

In the pouches.

[A]

And it's 100% juice.

[C]

100% juice.

[A]

And it's Capri sun branding.

[C]

Yeah, it's Capri Sun. It's literally Capri Sun 100% juice. And is. It's hashtag, not sponsored, but, like, if you have, like, three or four of those a day, you end up having to be like, maybe that's a lot of juice. Yeah, maybe that is a lot of juice.

[A]

But I'm getting reports. That's a lot of.

[B]

Hold on.

[C]

My doctor's, like, you have how many Capri Sun? 100. Oh, God. You're not even diluting it.

[A]

Yeah, that's intense.

[B]

What flavor is it? What flavor juice?

[C]

I mean, obviously berry is my favorite. Mixed berry, but they got fruit punch, which tastes like a Pacific cooler, and then two apple ones come in the pack.

[D]

Wow.

[A]

I never, as a kid, because I drink so many Capri Suns.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh, you have to, legally. Yeah. I never, like, knew what flavor I was about to drink. Yeah.

[B]

Well, they always.

[A]

You grab them, you pop that straw in, and you go.

[B]

Yeah. They had, like, names that weren't, like, actual flavors. Yeah.

[C]

Like Pacific, I think probably because they're not Jews. So I think. I don't think they can legally be, like, cherry.

[B]

The only one that was honest was lemonade. And it was terrible.

[A]

I don't know if I ever even had lemonade.

[B]

Lemonade one was so bad.

[C]

I've never had lemonade in that, bro.

[A]

We tried to do that Guinness World Records thing where we drank. How fast can you drink a Capri Sun? And the record was like six seconds or something, right?

[C]

Six seconds.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

Six seconds.

[A]

Don't.

[C]

Dude.

[A]

I was doing so. Hold on.

[B]

I was doing so much. I was doing hella 7 before I got here.

[C]

Selena just flipped over a big zero on the days since. Six, seven.

[B]

It's like.

[A]

It's like, can I use the bathroom really quick? And we just can feel you doing it.

[D]

Yeah.

[B]

Just in the mirror.

[A]

But I. So we could not do it.

[D]

We.

[A]

We could not even break, like, 15 seconds.

[C]

Do you have to use the straw? Is that the thing?

[A]

So it's. It's. Once the timer started, you had to get the straw out, get it out of its wrapping, get it into the pouch, and then drink it all.

[C]

But through straw. I feel like there could be a technique. Pierce it with the straw, but then as soon as you.

[A]

Through the straw.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Crazy.

[A]

But what's crazy is we couldn't do it. And I. Obviously, it's my. My childhood memories, but I feel like in my memories as a kid, I drank them in under three seconds.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Once the straw is in. I feel like as a kid, I was just like.

[A]

But maybe it's because I got a tiny little child mouth that I could do it faster.

[C]

Oh, yeah, It's Pascal's theory of pressure.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Where if he literally writes out, if you have a tiny little child mouth, you can have that.

[A]

And it's my favorite problem, Pedro. Pascal's.

[B]

Ever.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And that's, like, probably my favorite theory of pressure. And the most manly theory of pressure.

[C]

I think it's Pascal's 100%. Well, Pascal sort of stole what was already done somewhere in the Middle East a long, long time before that in terms of, like, pressure theory. So, like, by stealing somebody else's work and just talking about it louder, Pascal truly made the manly move pretty, pretty manly.

[A]

He actually was a man.

[C]

Think about what the idea I just had, though. Yeah.

[A]

But I pitched this. What about this?

[C]

I'm an ideas guy.

[A]

Shit.

[B]

All right, what's other manly stuff? What's the. Okay, actually, I genuinely want to ask this because I wouldn't consider myself to be a very, like, masculine person as it's traditionally defined. What's, like, the most manly thing that you guys do on a regular basis?

[A]

I weirdly I've been thinking about this a lot because we did a assumptions video forever ago. Me, Spencer, and then Ludwig was on.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

And there's these types of questions were coming up. And since then, it's kind of. I think about it a lot of like. Like what. What does quantify as. As like manly? Because, like, so much is just like, culturally defined.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Societally defined. So it's really like completely meaningless and it changes culture to culture. But I'm just kind of like, what is just like, what. What do I just consider, like, adult? And what is like, defined as like a. A positive, masculine, manly.

[C]

I think you hit the nail on the head where it's like, this is. You're kind of just doing an adult thing. And it was never that, like, other genders couldn't do something. It's just. They're like, that's not your role. I do this. And so.

[A]

Right.

[B]

I think, like, the most, like, what I would say is like, manly, masculine thing that I like, find myself doing is I love, like carrying lots of things. Like, if it's like a moving a piece of furniture, it's like, I can lift this chair by myself. Like, I'm capable. Or like bringing groceries in. I'm like, I'm going to get them all. Like, I can carry everything. I'm not taking two trips. Yeah, I'm not taking two trips.

[C]

I. I have. I have also gotten a. So sofa into a small apartment by myself.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, back in the day, I was like, I'm not calling someone for this. I'm just gonna get it out of my car and put it on my back, like, atlas and walk it on in.

[A]

I. I relate to that. To me, I attribute that. In my head, I. I believe that's like. I think it's lazy. Like, I'm like. Or impatience. I'm like, I'm. I don't want to go through the hassle of taking two trips, so I'm gonna burden myself for one.

[B]

And here's the thing is, I don't even take this. If I can't do it, I don't take the second trip. I've literally had two 12 packs of diet Coke in my trunk that have been there for like a week. And I keep driving and hearing them, like, move around back there, and I'm like, I never. I never went back for the second trip. I just. I couldn't. I couldn't carry all of them. Ralph's was having a great deal on 12 packs and I got like six of them.

[C]

There's Gonna be like, I could only carry four chunks of shrapnel floating in there. After a few weeks, it's like, I

[B]

got my ingredients for my potato and leek soup, and then I got my four 12 packs.

[A]

And the amount of times that I do that's stupid times. I do that specifically with my trunk, where I have something in my trunk. And every time I turn, it's just

[B]

like,

[A]

every time I'm driving, I'm like, I really should figure that out. And then I never do. And it'll be there for a year.

[C]

I've got the secret. I finally handled all that stuff because I got a new car. They're like, you can't leave all this in when you're trading in your Prius. You can't do that. And I'm like, okay. So I put it all in a bag, and I was like, hey, I'm gonna put this bag in my home, and it's gonna stay in that bag. And if I needed something for my car, maybe I put it back in. But otherwise, yeah, I just don't have my car now.

[B]

Now, see, it's a perennial problem for me because I keep my basketball and my basketball shoes in my trunk.

[A]

And what sounds manly and what I

[B]

do is I try and wedge the ball into, like, the corner of the trunk and then the shoes so it doesn't roll around. But then occasionally it gets dislodged. And then that's so annoying because then I'm just hearing this like. Like, ball rolling around in, like, you

[C]

gotta start using towels. Cause towels are good to have anywhere. Like, you never know if you got.

[A]

Oh, yeah, it's true.

[D]

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[C]

I think my most stereotypically manly thing is I. I handle the spiders and bugs, by which I mean I capture them gently and put them outside. Yeah, I will do that.

[B]

Dude, that's tough. Having to become the bug guy is tough because I was scared of my whole life. I was like, bugs. I don't want to touch it. I don't want to get near it. Someone else take care of it. And then, like, it is, like, kind of like, I, you know, started dating my fiance, Raven, and I was like, I had to overcome that. I had to become the guy that takes care of the bugs and gets the little cup and piece of paper. And I'm, like, holding it, like, please don't escape somehow. Please don't escape. And then, like, throwing it outside and closing the door really quick. And then, like, all right, like, you're

[C]

off to safety, and you just, like,

[B]

shaking out the cup.

[A]

Get out.

[B]

Get out.

[A]

It reminds me of what I've. I've talked about before, but the time that there was a praying mantis inside Courtney's bathroom. Oh, that's a big, big praying mantis. And how I solved that was opening the door really quickly, throwing one of our cats in there and shutting the door.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

And being like, you figure that out.

[C]

So you're like a Roman Caesar, where, like, I bring in the lions and the battalions there.

[A]

And then I opened the door later, and it was just Birdie, our cat. And then the praying mantis was on, like, a bottle of hairspray on one side of the bottle of the hairspray. Our cat was on the other side, and they were just trading jabs. They're just standing. And she, like, failed to kill the thing, and I felt really bad. And then I. I couldn't capture that. That was too much for me. And it sucks, because praying mantises are one of my favorite bugs. But I had to.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I didn't have, like, a means to capture it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because it's too, like, tactile. It's too, like, occasionally there is a

[B]

Bug that I'm like, I don't know if I'm capable of getting you outside safely. And I have to squish.

[A]

And then I'm like, I felt really bad. I need to get one of those. Have you seen those, like, picture bug things? Yeah, it's like a bunch of prongs that it just like, perfectly, like. They're just like, oh.

[D]

What?

[C]

I haven't seen that one. The one I'm talking about looks like a little vacuum and it's. It's like the cup, but it automatically closes the lid and it has like a little chamber in there. So it's like, welcome to your new little house for like three minutes. And then. Oh, and then you put outside.

[A]

I did do that. We had a cockroach in our.

[C]

Those you can kill.

[A]

And I didn't kill that. I had a hand vac and I vacuumed it up and then it was just in the canister.

[C]

Yeah, it'll do.

[A]

Crawling around. And then I went to our apartment's like, trash chute and I just opened it up into the trash chute and it, like, flew down the trash chute. I was like, I sent him to hell heaven. You said exactly where he wants to be. In a trash bin. So much stuff.

[C]

Where he belongs.

[A]

Yeah, no, I will. I don't like to kill anything, Even a cockroach. I'll try to avoid it.

[B]

Yeah. It feels so bad, man. It just sucks.

[C]

It's the kind of thing where, like, if you grew up with a family that's just like, oh, kill the bug. You're like, got it. Kill the bug. And then the moment you sort of, like, come online mentally, you're like, kill the bug. Why? Yeah, friend the bug. And. Yeah. And then you see a little jumping spider on TikTok and you're like, oh, it's like waving and it's so happy.

[A]

And I think if I came across a spider that if it's bite really would mess you up. I would maybe have to.

[C]

There are a lot of black widows in my area.

[A]

And especially if it's a. Spiders that make a web. Cool with your chill. You have your. You have your home. I know where your location is.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Spiders who crawl around and are just constantly moving around different crevices. I'm like, I'm sorry, man. Like, yeah, I can't expect your next move, so I have no choice.

[C]

So it's fear of the unknown.

[A]

So like brown recluses. I'm like, got to.

[B]

Yeah. No, I don't like it when I see A bug. And I'm like, I'm going to try and handle this. And I go and get the necessary tools, and then I come back and that bug is gone. I'm like, I can't. I'm freaking.

[C]

And then you just hear like, don't turn around. And you're like,

[B]

he's right behind me, isn't he?

[A]

I did. I genuinely had that happen to me when I was. When I was, like, in my early 20s. I was in an apartment and I see a spider on the wall and I go, all right, I'm not gonna kill you, man. You chill right there. By the way, Trevor has a grape. And it's a good looking.

[C]

That one wanted to grow up to be an eggplant.

[B]

This is a manly grape.

[A]

Yeah, that is a manly grape.

[C]

Yeah, that's. Oh, God.

[A]

Some ASMR right there. But I see the spider on the wall. And then a second later, I'm watching tv, I look, it's gone, and I go, okay, where is he? And I don't know where he is. Like, an hour goes by, I'm watching tv, I get up from the couch and I shit you not. It was like right behind where I was sitting on the couch like, that Sheldon is so fudgeing funny. I was like, you managed to go to the one place, like, why'd you go there? And then. I had to. I had to probably.

[C]

Well, because he trespassed on your boundaries.

[A]

Okay. Actually. And I've. I have told this story. The only thing that I will kill. And I feel zero guilt. Actually feel a little good. Wasps.

[B]

You're like human beings.

[C]

It's the only thing that turns me on anymore.

[A]

And wasps can go fuck themselves.

[C]

They can.

[A]

I'm sorry.

[C]

They don't even make honey.

[B]

Oh, and mosquitoes. Okay, I. I will smack crap out of a mosquito.

[A]

But. But a wasp. I one time had a wasp in my apartment when I was younger and I had like a truly, like a 20 minute battle with it. I had a broom in one hand and I had, like a foam basketball in the other. And so, like, when it was far distance, I was using my aerial combat by trying to, like, throw the ball and then it would, like, swoop at me and I would, like, try to hit it with the broom. We had like a genuine Dark Souls.

[C]

What music were you playing?

[A]

It was Dark Souls. Okay, There you go. It was like. It's like, oh,

[C]

red health bar pops up for, like, mosquito.

[B]

I literally did the same thing at my old apartment. I. I don't remember why there was a reason. But we basically had, like, a ton of flies, like, God in the house. Just, like, house flies. And they were pissing me off, and I couldn't get them out the door. And so what we did is it was night time. We turned off all the lights, and then I opened the bathroom door and turned the bathroom light on and basically lured all of them in there and closed the door. And I just had, like, two dish towels.

[A]

And you lit it on.

[B]

And I straight up was just, like, in the bathroom, just like everybody was, and, like, smacking all these flies. And I literally felt like a gladiat.

[A]

That's what IP man must feel like. Jesus.

[C]

Living out of power fantasy. No, it's like Attack on Titan. The one thing that I do feel really bad about when it comes to bugs is every once in a while, especially, like, in the summer, I'll open up a door that leads to outside and just, like, slip out real quick. But when I'm back in, I'll notice that, like, something has gotten in that's the size of, like, a couple hummingbirds. And it's always, like. It's always like, that massive bug that's like. Like you can hear it against the ceiling, the tapping of those huge wings. And I'm like, I don't have any way to get you outside. And then, like, a day later, it's just nowhere to be found. And I'm like, did you die? Like, where did you go? I don't think you found a way outside. Did you die? This can't be it for you. Yeah, buddy.

[B]

Do you ever, like, withhold bug from your partner?

[A]

Oh, like, like, withhold bug. Like.

[C]

Like, like you find a bug over there?

[B]

No, like, you find a bug in the house. Like, I did this the other day. I'm really sorry, Raven, if you're watching this.

[A]

Oh, no.

[B]

But there was, like, some clothes that she had left on the floor. And I was like, okay, I'm gonna, like, do the laundry. And I picked up this pile of clothes, and there was a spider underneath. And then I'm like, that's terrifying. Because then, what if there's spiders in the clothes everywhere? And I was like, I'm gonna deal with it quietly and not say anything about it.

[A]

You dealt with the spider.

[B]

I dealt with the spider.

[A]

I thought you meant, like, you. You just saw a spider and you're

[C]

like, well, there it goes. You're like, raven's the other one. She's the one that's in that other room.

[A]

Get her.

[B]

No, I, like, dealt with. But I was like, if I tell her that there was a spider in her pile of clothes, it' I don't want her to have to like, you know, deal with that. Like, I can handle the spider and that's fair. Yeah. Okay, so I felt bad about it. I was like, I feel like I'm

[C]

now just so I'm in your mindset a little bit, you feel bad cuz like she's supposed to know about the, the spider or like what she. What's she missing there?

[B]

It's like when you're withholding information, sometimes it feels like you're lying. You're like not lying. I'm not being dishonest, but I'm like, I didn't tell you about this thing that like maybe I should. I don't know.

[A]

I think, I think the fact that you dealt with it means like it's not there.

[C]

It's not an. It's like a non issue.

[A]

It'd be more of an issue if you saw a spider, didn't kill it or didn't take it outside and it's like, oh, by the way, I didn't tell you there's a spider lurking around our vicinity.

[D]

Right?

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

I think the difference is like, you know, I took care of a spider on my own versus like, hey, I took care of a spider on my own. And then the corner of my eye, like your long lost sister stopped by and asked about you, but I didn't want to say anything that would. Yeah, you know, it's like I didn't

[B]

want to mention the spider and then it was kind of all connection.

[A]

You know what that weirdly. Okay, this is not a tangent, but it makes me think about how if I ever, especially in my home, experience anything weird that I can't explain. Like not. I'm not saying paranormal, but if I like something happened, like if I heard a voice or like saw shadow or something, I'd have to.

[C]

The ultimate.

[A]

I'd have to be damn sure before I tell Courtney because like I'm such a like skeptical person. Like, not. If I came to Courtney, I was like, like, yeah, so I saw like a shadow. I. It. She would never sleep again.

[C]

Sorry.

[B]

No, no, please.

[C]

I. I'm not a paranormal believer myself, but I did see something the other day and this is a tangent. I did see something the other day that I was like, that might be. Have been a skinwalker.

[A]

Really?

[C]

So I. I hear the doorbell ring and I'm like not expecting anybody, but I'm like right next to the door and I'M like, if it's like a solicitor or something, like, I don't want to hear it. Like, if anybody needs me, like a friend will. But I hear the person outside the door just like rifling it off, literally just going like, hello, Hola. Hello. Hola. Hello. Hola. Hello.

[A]

Hello. Hola. Hello.

[C]

Hello. Hola. Hello. Hello.

[B]

Hola.

[C]

Hello. Hola. Hello. And it was just like, you don't know what you're saying. Like, this is not language to you. You're mimicking the human speech to try to get me. It was so creepy. And I, like ended up looking outside of the window and it was like a guy holding a pamphlet and he's just sort of like, like, hello, Hola.

[A]

Hello.

[C]

Hola. Hola.

[D]

Hello.

[C]

Hola. Hello. Hello. Hola.

[A]

Is it a guy maybe who's just working through the social interaction is he's just practicing?

[C]

I don't know. It might probably.

[A]

Like, the problem is whenever. So there's, there's certain scenarios where a human being becomes twice as scary.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

At your front door. Twice. Ten times as scary. I. The. I walk, walking down the street, you come across a person, they go, hey, how's it going? I'm not scared of them. The second my doorbell rings.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And. And someone is standing right there, I'm

[C]

like, dude, do you know the YouTuber Chad? Chad. Chad, Chad. And someone else whose name I forgot and I feel really bad about it just did a video about, like the door to door solicitors and like, you know, they have their own training videos on Tick tock and stuff, but they're talking about, like, I mean, and also, like, both people, you know, hosting it are women. So they're like, do you understand how terrifying this is and how scary it is? That, like, core concept, you're trying to get me out of the house, like, scary for anybody, but especially women. It's like, I'm not going to answer the door and I'm not going to like, is your husband home? It's like, I'm not going to fudge it. No, he's right here.

[A]

Like, yeah, it's another one of those weird things too, where back when I was a kid, back in, like, the day, it was far more common because, like, there wasn't as many ways to, like, talk to people. Right. Like, there was cold calling, but you only had a home phone, so you had far more people coming to your front door, like, as when I was a kid. It felt like there were people at our front door all the time.

[C]

Really.

[A]

It just felt like, compared to now. Nowadays, if someone's at your front door, it's like, why are. Why are you here?

[B]

Immediately, I'm like, something's wrong.

[A]

There are.

[B]

Is anyone here?

[A]

Like, you're gonna be contacted a million ways before someone comes to your door unannounced. So I am super, like, freaked out about it every time.

[B]

If you'll allow me to backpedal a little, because I want to go back to the paranormal of it all. Because I literally got obsessioned by Raven like, like a month ago. It was so the wish.

[C]

She broke your willow.

[B]

No. So we're like. It's like, the middle of the night. I hear there's, like, a lamp in the corner of the room. And I hear it get bumped. And I look up, and there's just straight up a shadowy figure next to the lamp. And I just like, him. And I'm like, I don't know what's going on. And I'm just, like, looking at it, and. And it starts to move.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

Across the bed. And I was like. And it's just, like, all I see is just a shadowy blob. And I literally was like, there is, like, the hat man is, like, in my room. Like, there's a shadow person. And then, like, gets in front of, like, the. And, like, opens, like, the door to my room, like, starts to open. And then I see there's, like, a little bit of, like, ambient light coming out from, like, our living room. And I see that it's Raven. And I, like, genuinely. My heart was beating so fast. I hadn't. She got up, and I didn't hear her.

[C]

And then you turn over, and Raven's right there in bed.

[B]

She's right there in bed. No. But, yeah, I, like, turned over and checked, and she wasn't there. And I, like, let out, like, a sigh of relief where I was like. And, like, I was prepared to, like, tell Raven the next day and be like, I saw a shadow monster last night in the room.

[C]

I don't want to tell her about the spider, but the shadow monster. She should know.

[B]

But she, like, bumped the lamp and then, like, froze. So all I hear is the lamp bump. And then I just see a figure just standing in the corner. And I was genuinely, like, so scared.

[C]

You know what is a good thing to have both by front door and maybe by bed? You have a baseball bat, but what you do is you put a tube sock on the end of it. Because that way, if someone's trying to get you and they try to, like, grab the bat from you. The tube sock slips right off and you get an extra little.

[B]

And they like, jerk it off.

[C]

Yeah, they. They jerk off the bat a little bit.

[A]

Yeah, like, you're not really expecting that.

[C]

You're not expecting that. Yeah, you pull out a little vampire bat and you're like. They're like, well, I'm just gonna go now. So that's probably the mainliest thing about it.

[A]

When I was a kid, my. I remember my dad had a couple baseball bats in his office. Like, I think they were like, signed by one of the, like, by Steve Diamondbacker, Arizona Diamondbacks. And like, someone had given them to him. And whenever at night I would hear a noise, I would definitely go and just grab one of them and just be like. And the most. It's. I was very chosen. Like, when I would hear a noise, I would always go up to like the corner of a wall and like, like position myself against the wall to like, look around the corner as if I'm like, strategically looking over there. And I would have. My. My dog would walk out, he'd be like, what the. And I'd be like, check. Check around the corner for me.

[C]

Go get help, boys.

[A]

He's like, leaves, you're going lays down.

[C]

I remember one time with an ex girlfriend, we were in bed at her place, and I hear like three huge bangs that sound like they're at, you know, her front door. And it's not the biggest apartment. And we're both just like, what the fuck? And I'm in the position of like, oh, I'm gonna have to go check this. And I'm like, I'm not equipped or qualified to do this. Like, so I check and, you know, everything's fine. But it turned out seeing a news article the next day there was like a drive by shooting on the freeway, which was close to like the window where our heads were. And so like, what I heard was just the sound coming through like. Like that. But like, the gunshots happened right there. And it made me realize I'm like, yeah, I super wasn't equipped for anything. Like, that was the idea of a gunshot. And I wasn't equipped for that. But like, anybody actually being there.

[A]

Yeah, it's pretty scary.

[B]

Do you keep. Do you guys keep anything by the bed? Like, actually, because I kind of have a little metal rod that I don't know where it's from. Oh, I'm pretty sure it's like from like. Okay. No, I do remember what it's from. It was from very long ago. We got like, an outdoor, like, patio set. And it had, like, this metal supporting bar that I forgot to put in, but that, like, wasn't really necessary.

[C]

And smash cut to, like, someone trapped in the seat.

[B]

Like, it was basically like this tiny little support. And I was like, okay, it doesn't actually. It's, like, not actually super necessary, but it kind of has, like. It's just like a really, like, stiff metal rod that has, like, this little thing on the end that's kind of a handle. And I was like, well, I guess I'll just keep it under my bed, because who knows?

[A]

This is my beat you up stick.

[B]

Literally. I have a beat you up stick.

[C]

It's your tally whacker. Or it's like, oh, I have a. I have a karambit. It's like a curved knife thing, and I keep it just in the drawer by the bed. Like, not that I'm gonna be, like, in the perfect presence of mind to be like, open the drawer, open the sub, take off the COVID But, like,

[B]

is it a marble fade or something? Is it, like a Doppler?

[C]

Yeah, it's a pretty good, like, CSGO skin.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah, it's pretty sick. It's. What's the one you like? Yeah, it's that black ice. Yeah, it's that one Black ice. That's. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Rainbow 6Cs go.

[C]

Oh, is that.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

I don't know. I'm jok.

[B]

No, I was joking, too. I don't. I don't have any CS Go knives, unfortunately. I don't have any drip in CSGo,

[A]

so I. I'm a larper. I typically do carry, like. Like, I have, like, a pepper spray near my. My bed, which is like. I know it's like, oh, that's going to fuck up everything, but it's like, it's something. I always have my, like, plan, right? Because, like, for me, I'm like, all right, if someone were to come into my apartment, I would hear them coming up the stairs. And so I'd get to the top of the stairs and just spray down and then be like, all right, that

[C]

turn on the AC so it blows it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

And then I have paint cans on strings. Yeah. Easily kill them for the longest time, too. I had. I think I still have it somewhere. I did have, like, a taser, and that scared me. Like, I would. Because I'd be like, I need to test this out to make sure it works. And so I'd, like, press the button. It's like, you're like, oh, like, it's

[C]

freaks me out one of them too. They keep giving them away though. Like anytime a femme friend is like, this creepy guy said something to me at a thing, I'm just like, well, I've got an extra one of these and here you go. Like, you should have this and please take it.

[A]

But it doesn't work on ghosts.

[C]

Yeah, I see. I would. I would wonder if it does because like Ghostbusters shot electricity out of their backpacks and whatnot. Yeah, Taser could. I mean, it's probably better than a punch.

[A]

I think it could.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I thought you were talking about the pepper spray. I was like, I think the pepper spray would go through the ghost.

[A]

It probably would go through the ghost.

[B]

Probably go through.

[A]

Unless the taser.

[C]

Unless it's Danny Phantom, in which case he's just like, ow.

[A]

Yeah, gonna catch them all. I.

[B]

He's Danny Phantom.

[A]

I'm very grateful that I have not ever experienced anything remotely like pepper spray. Cuz people talk about it like it is the worst. Oh my God ever.

[B]

I chop an onion that's a little too pungent and I'm balling same dude. Pepper spray directly to the eyes.

[C]

I. I got bamboozled by a TikTok where it was like cooking tip. If you're cutting an onion, keep a wet paper towel near it because the moisture is what draws in that stuff from the onions. And that's why it goes directly to your eyes. And so I was just like, yeah, I got this. Watch this. Cut an onion immediately.

[A]

I'm like, that didn't work at all.

[C]

It didn't work at all.

[B]

Every chef I've ever asked, this is like, hey, there's just like a funny like, hey, do you have any like, tips for like cutting like onion like, or not crime while you cut onions? And every person ever is just like, ah. You just cry until you. Until you stop.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Just like, I don't know, power through.

[A]

Just deal with it.

[B]

If it's a really bad onion, you just.

[A]

You just kind of isn't legitimately. The. The way to avoid it. The best is to have a better knife. Like, the sharper the knife, the less spray you're going to get. Like, because it's slicing through and not smashing.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

As much like that is theoretically.

[B]

I mean, like a cleaner.

[A]

The best. The best version.

[D]

This episode of Smoshmouth is sponsored by three Day Blinds. Unsurprisingly, I've been sleeping odd hours because I have a child to take care of and I'm not talking about my son. Sometimes I wake up because the sun is blasting in my eyes. Finally, I said enough is enough and went to three day Blinds to get some help. Three Day Blinds is the leading manufacturer of high quality custom window treatments in the U.S. they're so easy to use. All you need to do is hop online and work with a professionally trained design consultant that will provide all the guidance you need. With three day Blinds, there's a better way to buy blinds, shades, shutters, and drapery. Not only are my three day blinds practical, but they look great. And if you're curious about my sleep, now that I have three day blinds, I'm sleeping like a rock, thank you very much. Right now, get quality window treatments that fit your budget with three day blinds. Head to three day blinds.com smoshmouth for their buy one, get one 50% off deal on custom blinds, shades and drapery for a free, no charge, no obligation consultation. Just head to 3dayblinds.com/smoshmouth one last time. That's buy one, get one 50 off when you head to the number 3D a Y blinds.com smoshmouth Back to the show, right, Shane? He's not here. It's just me.

[A]

Since we have. I. We've posed this before, but what is your ranking? Because. Okay, some. Some backstory here. Forever ago, we had Angela on and we were talking about ranking dessert categories.

[C]

Oh, yeah, I saw that.

[A]

And there was a lot of crazy shit said there. Yeah, you guys, cake.

[C]

Everyone slandered pie, by the way.

[A]

Oh, I didn't slander pie.

[C]

Everyone else but you slandered pie.

[A]

I respect pie. Now, I don't know where it ranks on my list, but it. I would rank it. I think I would rank it above cake.

[B]

I feel like every couple months in this office, someone says, someone asks me, is pie cake? And every time I'm like, like, pie's not cake.

[C]

No, not at all.

[A]

We.

[B]

We.

[A]

I think the argument was pie is closer to pastry. But Angela was there and she was like, no, absolutely not.

[B]

Yeah. Ridiculous.

[A]

Yeah, Angela. I don't know why when this topic comes up, she wants to be so wrong.

[C]

Angela has some, like, really hard opinions that are just like, set and they're firm and they're not going to change. And they're just. Sometimes like, you just got to.

[A]

It's like, pie is cake and Canada shouldn't be a country. No, I'm just kidding. It's like, Angela, stop.

[C]

I hate the Magna Carta. That sucks.

[A]

No, okay, so because for me, I was saying, ice cream, number one, ice Cream is number one. Ooh, I'd maybe put cookie number two.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And then I'm not sure. Like, then it's like, kind of. It kind of blends in. Like, you know, you think like, brownies. Delicious.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's tough because it. I mean, so much of it comes down to, like. Yeah. What are your categories? Like, really, what are kind of.

[A]

Anything.

[B]

So many desserts. I love cookies. Cookies are big ones for me. I do also love ice cream. I love custard based desserts.

[C]

I do, too. Looks like a creme brulee.

[B]

Your creme brulees and your flans. Like, I love a custard.

[C]

Flan is. Okay, so can we agree? Flan is number one. Can we just say that? No, I'm kidding.

[A]

Flan could be high up.

[C]

Flan is high up for sure.

[A]

I made flan once. Really? I did. Okay.

[B]

Flan is tough. I make recently. It. It is a. It's like, tricky little.

[A]

I messed up a little bit on the sugar. Like, the timing of it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But it was still delicious. The flan is itself the custard. I worked. I'm. That. That consistency was good.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That's true. Selena, you've made it before.

[C]

I don't even. I don't even believe you. Selena, you'd have to. You'd have to bring that in if

[A]

I were to believe it differently than how I saw a recipe for it. Because you make it in, like, a steamer, whereas I made it in the oven, like, with a pan with, like, water on it.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Bain Marie. You can do it. It's. It's essentially the same thing.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. It's just, like, getting a lot of, like, moisture in there as it's. As it's cooking, so that it doesn't, like, dry out and it stays, like, creamy and soft. I love a custard, man.

[C]

I do, too. I really like custard based things. I like. I liked. I really like baked goods. Like, I grew up, you know, one town over from this bakery. Like, this guy from Germany just moved to a small town in Georgia and made this awesome bakery. And it's like little, like a key lime tart or like a petit four.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

Or a little eclair or cannoli. Cannoli. Like any of those.

[A]

And it's a cannoli. A pastry that's a cannoli.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I probably qualified as a pastry just because of the wrapper is like a. It's like a. I would say it's pastry adjacent. Closer to anything else. Yeah.

[A]

And to be clear, in my daily life, I don't care what something categorizes. Sure. When I, this is fun for the debate. In my, my day to day life, when I'm walking around and I see something that looks delicious, I just eat it. Yeah, I eat it and I ask questions later. I'll grab it, I'll slam it. I'll go, what was that? Yeah, like, I don't know, but you need to pay for it. I go, absolutely not.

[C]

They're like, that was the bleach that we used to clean this. You're like, it was spicy.

[B]

There's never been a dessert menu where I'm like, God, I wish they had a cake option. I'm like, I'll take one. I, you want one? I want one more split. We'll share.

[C]

I think cake for me can be very, very high up. But the problem is that it's got the biggest range of desserts.

[A]

It has the highest variability.

[C]

There is some shitty cake and then there's also cakes where I'm like, this is changing my life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Cake has such a possibility of being dry in a way that ruins it. And I think that's why I like ice cream so much is that it's, the floor is so high for ice cream.

[C]

That's fair.

[A]

It's hard for ice cream to be bad.

[C]

The median tastiness of, of, of ice cream is still going to be pretty high.

[A]

Cheapest, shittiest ice cream is still going to be pretty good.

[B]

And I mean also like, if you're going to restaurants with cake specifically, it's, it's probably pretty rare that a cake, that a, that a restaurant is making their cakes from scratch. Most of the time restaurants are like getting frozen cakes and then having those and like serving those. And there are a lot of like really good cakes that I've had that I know for a fact. Like, oh, this is frozen. Like, like I used to work at a restaurant that we would get these, they were really good cakes. But they, they did come frozen and we'd serve those. And so it's more often than not that something like a custard or like that is getting made in house or like a souffle, like you have to make those fresh. So cake specifically, you're, you're, you have more of a chance of getting something that isn't being made from scratch or from.

[A]

Because cake is such an ordeal. Yeah, it's like they, they don't have room to do that while also cooking everything else.

[C]

I would also guess that it's probably an issue that, like, I hope you of the whole cake for that night. Otherwise you are going to be serving someone leftover cake or throwing it away. Like, the profit margin's probably not great.

[B]

Yeah, interesting.

[A]

Yeah, man. That's the stuff I think about that I would never want to be in the restaurant industry. That's. What a nightmare.

[C]

Yeah. Kitchen Nightmares.

[A]

Kitchen Nightmares.

[B]

And things like cookie dough. You can just make a ton of it and then store it, like, and you can keep it for a while and just like, ball it up and just like, throw cookies in when you. Whenever you need. Or throw it in that skillet for a little pizzook.

[A]

I don't know how they're doing it

[B]

at the BJ's, but.

[A]

Whoa.

[C]

Just throw it in that little mouth and have some cookie dough. And it just.

[B]

You can throw it in that little mouth.

[C]

Throw it in my little mouth. I. I have trouble with. I know this is a hot take, but I really like baked goods when they've cooled down a lot. Like, I love a relatively chilled cookie. Like, not cold necessarily, but like, it's been out of the fridge for like, 10 minutes, but like a fresh, hot, like, I think very warm chocolate. Whether it's like, like hot chocolate on a souffle or even on a Sunday, or like half melted chocolate chip cookie doughs, I think it overpowers everything else. And I just kind of taste the melty chocolate.

[A]

That is a hot take, I think.

[B]

No, and you know what, Damien? I think you're onto something there. Because, I mean, I think this also might be a hot take. I'm not a big, like, chocolate lava cake. I am never gunning for the chocolate lava cake on a dessert menu. I'm like, this is chocolate on chocolate. I don't need molten chocolate coming out of my bread chocolate.

[C]

100%.

[B]

It's like, that's just too much chocolate for me. I get in a couple head shakes. We getting a. Selena, you a chocolate lava cake fan?

[A]

I can do chocolate lava cake, but it needs the vanilla ice cream.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

To make it work.

[C]

But I don't even taste the vanilla when it's something like that. Like, it's just gone.

[B]

The vanilla ice cream or a nice creme anglaise. You want to put a little creme anglaise on a chocolate lava cake? I'm more inclined.

[C]

Yeah, you've got to have cream on your glaze. Otherwise it's not good.

[B]

And you're always saying that.

[C]

I've always said that. I know it's cream. English.

[A]

I get it cream English. But see, I love a warm, soft cookie.

[D]

Cookie.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Like, that's the. That's the ideal version. Yeah.

[C]

Will you eat yours now? I'll let mine cool down, and then I'll have mine later and you can watch.

[A]

And then we'll get to my hot take, which is, how long do you microwave your ice cream for?

[C]

I watched this podcast, and I was

[A]

screaming upset by this.

[C]

Yeah, I watched it because I was there. I watched it back, too. I got a clip of it.

[B]

Wait, so we're going round two. I wasn't there, and I didn't watch it.

[A]

So. All right, you're microwaving it in.

[B]

Are you talking about in the tub?

[A]

So it's. This is specifically Pinterest, stupid. This is.

[C]

You can't bring that in your tub. You'll get electrocuted.

[A]

You can't bring the microwave in the tub specifically. This is specifically when you have a pint of ice cream that is in your own personal freezer, and you bring it out of the freezer, and before you spoon it up, you put it

[C]

in the microwave, but you do it twice.

[A]

Okay, hold on. I. I specifically do it for five seconds. I take it out, kind of see if the consistency is good, and then I typically will put it in for five seconds more. I don't want to spend. Because for some reason, 10 seconds straight up in the microwave is hotter than 5 seconds to take a break.

[C]

Right, Right.

[A]

Different scientifically, it kind of, like, multiplies upon itself. I don't know how microwaves work. I don't ask questions, but it heats

[C]

up the molecules in there, like, and heats it up. Oh, sorry.

[A]

That is the magic for me up until. I'm just kidding.

[C]

They spin a little faster. And it's.

[A]

I know that it's like, what? It's like. Like the water of it all, like, Right. Isn't it? Or is it just.

[C]

I think it's all the molecules. I mean, probably the water does most of the heavy lifting, but, yeah, I think it's all just like. And just badass.

[A]

And see, I like my ice cream fast.

[B]

Yeah, you like it fast. I think there are certain ice creams that could use that. Like, you get a pint of ice cream. Not all pints are the same hardness.

[A]

True.

[B]

Sometimes you get a pint of ice cream, and that is soft as hell right out of the tub, and I'm like.

[A]

When I get it from. When I, like, order it or I. I bring it home, it's the perfect texture.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But once I have it in the freezer for a night, then it's way too hard. It's just not fun.

[C]

I like the hard, cold ice cream.

[A]

I don't get it, man.

[C]

I. I really. But I really like the cold, though. I will. Like, I've been traveling a lot, and every time I go to the hotel, I'm like, how far will the thermostat allow me to lower this?

[A]

I don't like it on my teeth. My teeth hurt.

[C]

Well, that part hurts. Yeah.

[A]

I don't have to bite ice cream. It's kind of why I. I guess another hot take is I don't like ice cream. Like bars.

[C]

No.

[A]

Anything that comes on a popsicle stick.

[C]

Same.

[A]

I'm not too interested in it.

[C]

Unless it's a funny little joke.

[A]

Unless it's silly. Yeah. No.

[B]

I think I'm. I'm less inclined to microwave than I am to pull it out and let it sit for a few minutes, like, watching.

[C]

Where is all this patience coming from?

[A]

I was. There were so many comments. People were upset, and so many people were like, why don't you. Someone said, like, leave it out like an adult for like, a half an hour. And I was like, like, what. What is it that putting it in the microwave is worse than letting it sit out? Like, isn't it the same? I don't think it's the same result.

[B]

No. I mean, you're just getting, like, with a microwave, you're going to be getting unbuckled levels.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Unequal. Also, here's what I'll say. I feel like it's manlier to put something in the microwave because you're tall, kids are short and can't put stuff in the microwave.

[A]

Microwaves are for adults only.

[C]

Here's the power. Put it in an easy bake oven for 25 minutes, maybe 25, and then that'll start to melt a little bit.

[A]

Or just get a hot light bulb and just hold it over.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Get your iPhone flashlight out and just

[A]

hold it on it.

[C]

Get your green laser pointer. Just, like, focus on one spot.

[A]

Really hold it there.

[C]

It really works.

[B]

I open up the pint and I just go.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Over and over again.

[B]

Yeah. Like a man. Yeah.

[C]

Can I. Can I tell you guys a deep, dark secret? Okay. All right, next topic. Yeah. When I was a kid, my parents were obviously very, like, fiscally minded when it came to not turning on the ac, but it was hot, as in Georgia growing up.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And, like, the AC was on, but, like, just not. I needed it, like, blowing because I was so, you know, hot all the time anyway. And so I would sneak out of bed, go up to the thermostat, and not change it. I would just go against it to make the temperature rise. I'd be like, okay, that's gonna buy me, like, 10 minutes of cooling.

[A]

You're manipulating your AC.

[C]

So I was like, I didn't touch it. It.

[A]

That's so funny. You found a workaround.

[C]

I did.

[A]

That's awesome.

[C]

Thanks, man. I'm kind of a renegade.

[A]

That's incredible. That's so smart. That's.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Do you remember what temperature you guys had it set at?

[C]

My parents had it set at, like, a reasonable temperature. I think it was somewhere between 72 and 74.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I don't know. But it was also, like, humid. And I'm, like, bad with no dude

[A]

in heat in Florida. Like, whenever I would visit there. It's crazy how, like, the air is thick.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So when you're asleep at night, it kind of feels like you already have a blanket on.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Before you get under a blanket.

[C]

And now me sleeping. A sleeping bag for a long time. Starting to make sense, huh? A little.

[B]

Damon, you would love my parents. They keep the house.

[C]

I probably would. They raised a good lad.

[B]

Yeah. Well, mostly for the cold part of the. The house cold part. It's so every time I go home and visit, I'm like, I. I just have to ask for, like, three extra blankets. Even in the winter time, they keep the thermostats just at, like, 67.

[A]

Wow. 60s. That's. That's wild.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

It's crazy.

[B]

They just are always blowing that I. Cold.

[C]

Easy.

[A]

I think. I think I have a hot household now. Like, we're. We have it consistently. A lot of times, it's at, like, 74.

[B]

You and Courtney are. I'd say you're pretty beautiful people.

[A]

Thanks. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Birdie and bones drag it down a little bit.

[A]

Little bit ugly. Of ugly cats. When I lived in that back house when we were roommates together, and I lived in that because the AC didn't really work in our entire house.

[C]

Right.

[A]

But I lived. I lived in the back house that had no AC and it was cement walls. I got. I was kind of, like. I prided myself on for that, like, year. I got so good at handling extreme pressures. Definitely bad. But, like, in summer, because it had a skylight and no AC and cement walls, it was actually an oven.

[C]

You're kind of just an experiment for the greenhouse effect. You kind of live in a greenhouse,

[A]

and it would genuinely. It would be, like, 90 degrees in my room. And I would be in there with just, like. I had, like, three different fans just blowing directly on me. And I was just there, just drenched in sweat.

[B]

What was that? You got to be, like, past the wet bulb temperature there. What was going on? You're, like, close to death.

[A]

I somehow. And I got through, but since then, I could handle. Because before that, I think in my apartments, I kept it cold. And then after that, I've been able, like, I'm, like, 75. This feels amazing in here.

[C]

I think. I think you transcend. Yeah. And also, to be clear, we did have ac and it worked great. None of the other roommates wanted to pay for it because all of us were broke. I was still like, this will be the one luxury I pay for, please. But everybody sort of had to be in agreement because we were splitting the costs.

[B]

Yeah, that's tough. I had that before with a roommate where they were like, yeah, it's summertime. It's. It's 85 degrees out. Let's just set that. That at 77. And I'm like, can we at least get it to, like, 72? Like, I will pick up some extra, but. And it also sucked because my room had direct sunlight for, like, over half the day, and his didn't. His didn't have any direct sunlight. And so I'm like, my room is getting baked through my window, and I'm

[C]

like, this was literally, like, a roommate conflict that I did. Miles Bonsignore's, like, law justice. Miles. Oh, yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That was one of the, like, roommate things that we had to, like, debate against. And it's. It's hard to find what works for everybody. I will say something that people don't always realize is it takes more energy to. To cool something down than it does to keep it maintained. So, like, I. It's worse when people are like, no, we have to, like, turn it off overnight, and then we can turn it on again. At this point, it's like, no, just let it be. At, like, if you wanted to be 74, great. But, like, turning it down to 77 and then having to deal with it up and down is getting worse.

[B]

Yeah,

[A]

thermostat.

[C]

That's all my manly stuff.

[A]

We did talk about. We did talk about thermostats.

[B]

Yeah, thermostats are pretty manly.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I think leather crafting, which I used to do, was maybe stereotypically manly, but most of the people I worked with. Almost all the other people I worked with were women.

[B]

So what's the manliest thing you've leather

[C]

crafted when I first got my own, like scraps from the shop and you know, just tried to fiddle around with stuff and see what I could do. Oh, two. Two things. One, like an Assassin's Creed gauntlet, it's not good at all, but it was my first time trying to make a thing. It was just pretty sick. But the other one was an anniversary gift for my then girlfriend friend. I like crafted a book cover for her and it wasn't good, but I like, still. It was like, I'm gonna make this about your favorite book and I'm gonna make a little book cover. And that's awesome. That felt doing something special and kind

[B]

for your partner that you know they'll appreciate. That's maybe one of the manliest things that you can.

[A]

Extremely manly.

[C]

I agree with you.

[A]

Yeah. So we got some. Some Ask Men Reddit posts. Dude, Selena found a bunch of.

[C]

Hell yeah.

[B]

Hey, I thought this was Smoshmouth, not Weta stories.

[A]

Oh, but actually here we're gon just answering questions.

[C]

Hey, D D D Selena, that's pretty proactive of you. Thanks for being so manly for our show.

[A]

Wow. Give up for Selena

[C]

for the number one guy in the world.

[B]

That's a manly guy.

[A]

Actually, I did have the only, like, question that I had for this episode. I've been thinking about this lately. Is Amanda's not here, but is there an anime that you think Amanda would like?

[C]

I think Amanda would legitimately. She likes spooky stuff. I think she'd be down for like, the first season of Attack on Titan. I think when it gets into all the politics stuff, she might be like, what is going on? But, like, what?

[B]

No, no, it's just like my brain went in a completely different direction.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Just because Amanda likes smut and so I was like, something a little smutty.

[A]

Give her some up.

[C]

Stuffed up. Like, I haven't seen this. So if it's actually terrible, please just. I haven't seen it. But Food Wars, I know that's the one where they're like, cooking, but it makes them, like, horny to cook. Yeah, I think.

[B]

Yeah. See some like that. I think she would find like, kind of a sick and twisted enjoyment in like, I don't know what Amanda's opinions are, but do you think that she kind of. Do you think she'd be like a huge anime boobies?

[A]

I don't know if the way that anime goes about, like, horny stuff, if that would be her vibe. Yeah, I don't know because, like, I know the books that she Reads the way she describes those, I'm like, I don't know if it's the way it's gone about, but there's a few that I've been thinking about. One is genuinely, like, the. The classic version of Death Note.

[C]

I think she would actually, like, love.

[A]

She loves true crime, and that's such a fun, like, twist on it.

[C]

You are 100%.

[A]

But then anything that deals with the supernatural, I genuinely wonder if she would like, like, Jujutsu Kaisen, because it's just. I know that it's mostly action, but it's like, the fact that it's like, oh, we're cursed. We see demons, like all this.

[C]

I think she'd like that part, but I think when the fight goes on, I could literally going, like, I don't know what those boys are doing. Okay. What. What are those boys doing? Where's the one with the white hair? I want to talk to him. Yeah, I think she could legitimately, like, maybe some Tokyo ghoul, I think. Oh, sorry.

[A]

I think I fig. I think I figured out my number one, but go ahead.

[C]

I just finished the first season of Witch Hat Atelier, which I recommend to anybody. I think it's great.

[A]

So I've heard Vinland Saga.

[C]

Yes, you are correct.

[A]

Big, big Viking Men.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So which she'd be like, okay, I'm interested in that. And then it's also just very, like. It feels more like it reads like an HBO show. Like, well written.

[C]

It's about this person's journey from, like, being a warrior to, like, you know, what happens when that's over. Like, who are you as a person? What do you do and what do you leave in the world? Like, it's.

[A]

I think that's my number one pick. Definitely. Let me know in the comments.

[C]

Free Frieren.

[A]

I thought about Frieren, too.

[C]

Yeah. I'm seeing some nods from Eric Freeren that.

[A]

That's for. I have only seen the first season, but I talked to you about it. I thought that was incredible.

[C]

Frieren is just, I think, a masterpiece of a show. It's for the. For the quickest. Do you know it at all?

[A]

No. It's a beautiful premise.

[C]

The quickest breakdown possible is it's about, like, a group of warriors fighting the Demon King. And the show starts when they are done. Like, they've succeeded in their quest. The world is saved. So what do you do afterwards? And Frieren is an elf. So all her human companions, like, grow old and eventually pass away. And she's an elf sort of looking around, being like, well, what, what's left? What are the connections I make? What matters, you know, with the time that I have, which is so much longer than everyone else's. So it's literally about grief and finding joy in little things. And like, it's, it's beautiful.

[A]

Insanely existential. Watching it, I was like, this is. Without it, it's not even. Episodes aren't even heavy in, like, its dialogue or experience, but the meaning behind it all feels so heavy.

[B]

There was this one anime that I watched when I was in high school, and it was like, it was, it was like big, big, big. Oh, booby vampires. And I don't remember the name.

[C]

Rosario Vampire.

[B]

Yeah, that's the one.

[C]

There we go. Which, to be clear, I also haven't seen.

[A]

But you just.

[B]

It wasn't good, but it was like.

[C]

But if I did watch it, by the way, none of your fucking business. Yeah, let me do that.

[B]

Yeah, it, like, wasn't good, but I watched it and I was like, yeah,

[C]

there's an anime Sick Boku no Yabos. Last thing is, I think Delicious and Dungeon Amanda would really like, but it would probably be weird for her to hear my voice. But I think that's a show I recommend to anybody. Whether you watch it in English or not.

[A]

It's got such a fan base.

[C]

I think it's really good. Good. Like, I've read it all again, take my part in it completely out, listen to it in a different language. I think it's a great show.

[A]

Oh, which reminds me, I, I, I don't know because I don't know, like, the NDAs of it all. But if I could be specific, I did do my four. I did do my first anime dubbing.

[B]

Yeah. Congratulations.

[A]

Thank you. It was a small, small little role and, But I got to go and do the whole experience and it was so much fun. And it was trippy. Like, it's trippy, like the way that they do it. I, I had no idea. Kind of.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I think I was picturing like, classic voiceover where it's like you're there with your little podium and your size and you're just reading them. And then I'm like, I get there. I'm like, oh, right, it's anime. So it's already been filmed. It's already been voiced over technically. So I have to watch the show while matching to the mouth and, and it was such a cool experience. So you have like a teleprompter after, but you're basically just watching the show and Just saying the lines at the same time. Yeah, yeah. It was very fun. And I kind of like, as I was going, I was like, understand standing more and more of like, the anime voice of it all.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

The anime tone of it. And I found myself getting more because there was a line where it was just like something like, you know, it's like, wait, you can't do that or something like that. And like, she's like. The director was like, can you give a little bit more of, like, this emotion or something? And like, I found my. Myself in a more genuine way, but, like, sounding more and more like the. I was like, oh, I'm sounding like an anime character.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I have to in order to get this point across and get this emotion across. And that's awesome. It's really cool. And like, the layer of translation also makes you understand, like, oh, we're trying to, like, switch. Switch languages while still getting the point across. Matching it to the mouths.

[C]

Yeah, they used to just match time and now a lot of things, like match mouths where they're like, oh, you can't say popcorn because their mouth is like, open wide the whole time. And there's no, like, not making, like, a P shape for popcorn. So let's instead say, like, oh, snacks. Where your mouth is like, fully open. It's. It's a really interesting vibe. The other part of this is that. And again, I don't know the NDA stuff yet, but I know the show is out, so look on our socials for the info. You probably already know it, but Shane and I get to play, like, off of each other as a little duo. It's like a small role in the show, but it was. It's a really cool thing.

[B]

So awesome.

[A]

It was really cool because when I did my session, you had already gone in and recorded your lines. And so I got to hear, like, in between my lines, I got to hear Damian talking. And then I'm like, it was really cool. That's awesome. I had a lot of fun and I hope to do more of. Was kind of a spur of the moment thing. Like, it wasn't. It's not something I was, like, actively trying to seek out, but it was such a cool opportunity and I'm so grateful for it.

[C]

The director. Do you mind if I share the part where, like, so the director is somebody that directed me on a season of a show previously and, like, through our time together, she was like. So I looked up this stuff, like this smosh stuff that you do, like, that looks like a Lot of fun. I'm like, oh, yeah. I've been doing it for, like, a long time, and the people are great. And she's like, that's so cool. Like, yeah. I saw a couple videos pop up, and I was like, this is really fun. And so eventually, when this happens and we're working as a duo in this thing, she was like, yeah, I saw these two characters in the show, and I remembered watching you and your friend Shane on Smosh, and I was like, well, this is the kind of dynamic that I think would really work. And so. So, you know, so she made it happen. And that was like, it's funny how things like that work.

[A]

Yeah, it was really sick. I'm. I'm really stoked about it. So I haven't watched it yet, but I'm excited to.

[C]

Oh, yeah, we have. We reserve the right to cut all this if we're ass in it.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

If we suck, you gotta let us know.

[A]

But it was hard. It was definitely a challenge. I was like, damn.

[C]

Well, I heard you did fantastically well. Thanks, man. Yeah.

[D]

This episode of Smoshmouth is sponsored by Oriframe. Let's take a break from talking about men, shall we? I want to celebrate the women in my life. I was at home walking by my kitchen counter, and a photo of Angela and I popped up on my aura frame. It was from a few years ago being silly in our hotel room at a convention, and I automatically smiled. Then a photo of my sisters and I popped up from a family vacation we took years ago, and it immediately sent me down memory lane. Aura frames makes it easy for me to enjoy all my favorite photos. Photos. Let's be real. I have a lot of photos and videos of my family and friends. Some would say too many, and I would say not enough. Aura frames. Unlimited storage allows me to enjoy all of them. Aura frames is Comtech certified, which means it brings meaningful memories in a way that feels ambient and additive. I actually got an aura frame from my grandmother, and she lives across the country, But I can send her pictures and videos of my stuff, son, whenever I want. And it's really, really sweet. Named number one by wire cutter. You can save now by visiting or frames.com for limited time. Listeners can get $35 off select frames, plus free shipping with code smoshmouth. That's a R A frames.com promo code smoshmouth. Support the show by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions apply. Back to the show.

[A]

Anyways, did we want to move on to some. Some advice?

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

Advice.

[A]

All right.

[B]

A lot of it.

[A]

Okay. First question that was asked is, what's one thing that you've gotten better at with age that you didn't expect?

[B]

Jacking off.

[A]

Good one.

[C]

I can get you another five seconds like a quick draw, cowboy.

[B]

Sorry. That wasn't a manly joke. That was a boyish joke, and I apologize.

[C]

Oh, fair.

[B]

I apologize.

[C]

I think the idea of letting someone have an emotion or idea about you without it being in your control at all.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I used to be really, you know, worried about, like, I have to over explain and, you know. No, no, no, this isn't what I meant. Or like, wait, why does that person think that about me? I've never even met them. Oh, this person said that thing. I've gotten to the point where I'm like, hey, you know, sometimes times people are going to have their opinions. Not everyone is going to like you, even if they do know you well and understand you. Just maybe you don't vibe. Or if someone is like, I heard a rumor about them, it's like, well, that's kind of not. I. I certainly can't control what kind of conversations happen in the privacy between two people. Like, I get. That's just how it is, I guess. And not letting that take over my brain.

[A]

Yeah. I. I think. I think a lot of. I'm sure what a lot of the replies on this are and a lot of what, like, comes to mind is more of like, emotion regulation.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like when I was. Dude. When I was in my early. When I was just a kid and then my teenage years and early twenties, like, I remember anxiety and nervousness paralyzing me, like, to the point it was truly. Like. I've talked about a lot where I'm like, a lot of auditions back when I was a teenager, I'm like, I basically would black out. I'm so nervous that I wouldn't. And then I like, this. This was like. It hasn't changed much in like the past 10 years. But I reached a point, I think eventually, maybe a lot of it helped with Smosh, like doing so much here.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That I'm just like. It's kind of just been beaten out of me in a way where I'm just like, I'm. I have failed enough now where failure doesn't scare me like it used to.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I think.

[B]

Yeah, no, I totally agree. I think for me, like, graduating high school and growing up and like, getting more confident just in general, I've like, looked back and been like, oh, like, with like, even like basketball, like, I think I'm. I'm, like, better at basketball now than I was. And I think it's like 90 of it is me just being more confident. And same thing with, like, singing and performing. It's like, I think that I had, like, the skills and, like, the talent, but I was just so. In high school, I was so insecure and, yeah. Like, so focused on what other people were, like, thinking of me that, like, as I've grown up and gotten more confident and just been, like, more sure of myself, it's like I've just got. Gotten better at those things.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know.

[B]

Just become more confident with age.

[A]

Yeah. It's. It's making me think right now. It's like almost like the. The thing back in the day used to always be like, oh, you need to take all these opportunities and. And fail so that you. You're at least you're trying. And like, you're. You're going to succeed if you keep trying at things. And I'm like, even if you're not succeeding, like, to fail a bunch is nice so that failure doesn't hurt as hard like it.

[B]

You.

[A]

You'll, like, build up a tolerance for it. Because in life, like, there's going a.

[C]

To be.

[A]

Be countless failures. That's, like, part of it. But the more you avoid it, the less capable you are of handling it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And it's very freeing to be able to handle failure.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Whenever anybody asks at a con, like, you know, what's acting advice you'd give, I always say to, like, do improv, take improv classes, learn about that. Because it is learning how to fail. And I think learning how to fail is so important where it's like, you know, you go for a big joke and not a single person laughs, and then you can laugh at yourself. Like, that is such a big skill as opposed to, like, oh, I didn't do it right. You know, I've botched some auditions. Like, I had an audition that I had like, a callback for, and I was. For a project I was already excited about before I even, you know, had the audition. This was like, a few years back. And, like, I went into the callback and I'm. I walked out of it being like, oh, that was awful. Like, I did a really bad job at this callback. Oh, well, like, moving on next. And that's just how it goes. Yeah.

[A]

I mean, auditions in general are such a. Like, it's such a cringy thing. Right. Like, it is like, and you have to just go like, yeah, that's what's up. And I have, I have no choice but to commit 100% to it and then leave it on the dance floor

[C]

and absolutely move on.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, things, things I think are just like less intense as I've gotten older.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, things just aren't, I don't know,

[B]

let go a little bit more.

[C]

30s are better, Trevor. You're going to love it. The 30s are better, I think, just because that is the time when for me, like, I stopped caring as much. Like I. You know, one example is I grew up in a home that was very like physically fit. My parents were always in the gym all the time. I did karate as a kid, but I was always like a naturally larger person then as like a young adult, I was like so focused on like, I have to look a certain way, I have to be a certain way, I have to exercise all the time. If I don't look this level of big in the right areas and small in the right areas, then like, that's my whole self esteem. And like in the past couple years I've definitely gained some weight and like, sure, I'd like to trim down a little bit, but there's also another part of me that's like, I haven't lost all of my confidence in who I am as a person. Just cause I'm a little heavier now. Like, that's just kind of where I'm at. And it's not a reflection on whether or not I'm a lazy person or a valuable person in a, B and C kind of ways. It's just like I don't really give a shit what people think. Do I feel healthy and good? I want to get to a place where that's the goal. Not like I look this way for people, people. And that sort of extends to everything else. Like, I think that guy's cringy. Okay, then I guess I'm. I'm cringy, but that's fine.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. There's so much you can't control. And I mean especially nowadays with the Internet, like, geez, it's just so much crazier than it ever has been. It's like I, it is true. It's like the more that you just remove, like what people say about you is that's their life.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, but yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I feel like as I've gotten older also I've just become a lot more empathetic. And I think it's like more like not that I wasn't empathetic before. But it's like, what is, like, my instinctual response to a situation?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Is it first me thinking about, like, how I feel, or is it me trying to be like, okay, let me, like, approach this and be like, what are all sides of this situation? Like, how can I. Can I put myself in this other person's shoes really quick and, like, feel how they're feeling and then try and, like, go from. From there versus, like, just immediately going into, like, well, this is how I feel about that thing. Or like, this is what that made me feel. It's like, okay, well, let's like, meet in the middle a little.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

And I think that, like, I don't know, that's something as I've gotten older, it's just.

[A]

Yeah, gotten.

[B]

Gotten better at.

[A]

That's good. I think that's. That's. And that's. I don't know if that's fully common because I think empathy is a weird one where I think is. A lot of times, as people get older, it is also possible for experienced to, like, harden you in ways that are sometimes good and necessary. But also it's like, frankly, you see some, like, old people and it's like, dude, were you ever empathetic? And it's like, I want. I wonder. Maybe not. But it's just like, you can have bad experiences and then it makes you lose your trust for other humans.

[C]

I think empathy is also a muscle. I think it's something that you, like you said, like, you are actively being like, well, how can I look at this from another side? We're all going to have a natural amount of empathy and caring for other people. But I think it really does. You have to work on your emotional elasticity and, like, really let yourself. Like, that's something that was great that came from acting classes because it's like you can sort of put yourself in these spots without too much work. Like, you know, I've. I've again had people ask me, like, how do you act? And, like, how do you prepare for, you know, these things where you're, like, doing this scene and you've never been in that situation before. I'm like, you don't have to be in that situation. I feel like, yeah, I'm like, they're like, you're in space and you're protecting the space station or whatever. And I've never done that. It's like, like, well, yeah, but you know what it's like to want to protect someone you love. Right. Or you know what it's like to have a really strong responsibility and not want to fail in that. Right?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

That's all you're doing. And, like, you know, I'll cry at everything now. I'll cry reading something. I'll cry thinking about something. It's just, like. It's not hard to.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Be there.

[A]

Okay, so Selena found a subreddit that I've never heard of called Bro Pill.

[C]

Oh, no.

[A]

Yeah, I know it doesn't sound good, but it's.

[B]

Dude, I bought.

[A]

It's. It's not. It's fine. Okay.

[B]

I bought one of those from 711 the other day.

[C]

No, it just. It literally sounds like, oh, he got Bro Pill, and now he's super into Andrew Tate.

[A]

Like, it's.

[C]

You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah. Okay. So someone said. Oh, top. This was. This was a question someone posed. They said, how do I know if I'm one of the good ones? For lack of a better sentence? I always do my best to respect women's personal space and privacy. Privacy. But there's always a little nagging voice in my head that tells me I'm not good enough. Even though a hug is the most intimate I've ever gotten, it's just so annoying. I feel like I'm doing a good job deep down, but my brain is always saying I've messed up.

[C]

What do they mean by. Are they specifically, like, trying to be friends with someone? And are they, like, a safe man to be around?

[A]

Yeah, I'm assuming that's. I'm assuming that's what they're going for. Like, am I, like, you know. Yeah, if I'm. I'm a. I'm a guy that women can trust and people can trust and stuff.

[B]

There's a quote from. I believe it's Pokemon Mystery Dungeon. Explorers of Time.

[A]

Huh.

[B]

If I. If I remember correctly, that's what it's from. But basically, the quote is something like. Like, if you. If you regret something, like, that shows that you are already a better person. Like, if you regret something that you've done that already shows that you are a better person than you were then. And I feel like that's kind like a similar thing here. It's like, if you're already thinking about, like, I want to be a safe space. Like, I'm going, like, I want to make sure that I am, like, being one of the good ones, then you probably are. Like, if you're thinking about that, you're probably already 90% better than most people that are not thinking about that or not trying to be, like, respectful.

[C]

I think that's a good point. I think I have, I have two criteria that I think would be good for this one. Are you open to notes and learning? Because there's one thing like wanting to defend yourself, being like, no, no, I am one of the good ones versus like, oh, I didn't realize I messed up or I said that thing that was wrong. Thank you. Like, are you safe to talk to about things like that? That's, that's a big one. Because it's you wanting to be better versus you needing validation from someone you're supposedly wanting to make comfortable. So you're already like, please tell me I'm good. And the other thing is, are you a safe space for others, but specifically women when there are no women in the room? Like if you're just talking to your boys or whatever, is it gonna be completely different than how you would act around a woman? Are you going to be disrespectful now that it's just the fellas talking?

[A]

Right.

[C]

I think if it's actually a change that you've made in yourself or like a trait that you have in yourself to, you know, have that actual mindset as opposed to like act properly around someone, that's probably a good criter. Before that.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. It's like only you know your truest deep down intentions and, and, and pov, right? It's like, hey man, you know, deep down, if you don't have respect for people, then that's the reality. He's asking like, how am I perceived? And it's like there's so much you can't control in so many ways. But if you know your deep down intentions, you and you know them, then like that's all you can really do. And then beyond that is like, you know, asking people their boundaries, talking to people, like just genuinely having conversations with people and, and, and being honest with them and listening to them and, and I think by the sheer fact if you are listening and really like taking in what people are saying, that's probably going to be the, the criteria that's already going to set you apart.

[C]

That's what they said in Pokemon.

[B]

I got the, I got the quote on my phone or something. I wish it.

[A]

That's.

[B]

I know it's like, I think it's Grovile. I, I think it's, I'm sure it's Grovile at the end of the game. Cuz Primal Dialga is like, I feel bad. Maybe, maybe it's Dialga.

[C]

I don't know those mystery dungeon games. I never ended up playing them. But I keep seeing screenshots and it's one of those where like, is that really in the game? Like same thing with a Final Fantasy Tactics. There's always screenshots that you see and it's just like holy shit. That's pertinent. Like there's a quote that's like if the punishment for a crime is merely a fine, then it is only a punishment for the poor.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Or that it's only a crime for the poor. And you're like, oh, like it's all that really good social commentary.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. There's some, there's a crazy quote and it's, it's quoting someone else and I don't know who it is, but I'm reading those Dungeon Crawler Carl books and they're, they are extremely like about like anti capitalism vibes. And there's a quote at the beginning of one of the books from someone and it goes, capital punch punishment just means those without capital are punished. Something like that. I was like, damn. Okay. Like true.

[C]

There's not a whole lot of. Yeah, yeah.

[A]

It's like, oh yeah, you. If you're, if you're a high up powerful person, you're never going to face capital punishment. But crazy stuff. Okay, so let's get to a couple of questions Selena has.

[C]

Oh, this one comes from Selena.

[A]

I just saw this category. Okay, okay, so Selena goes. What's your actual Roman Empire? So you know that meme, right? Like what do you think about every day?

[C]

What's that? Is that what that meant? Cuz I, I was.

[A]

Yes. It started with a tik tok where someone was saying like, oh, guys think about the Roman Empire every day.

[C]

That makes.

[A]

And this one girl like asked her boyfriend, she's like, do you think about the Roman. How often do you think about the Roman Empire? And he's like, every day. Yeah, it was like. And so they started. Tons of girlfriends were asking their boyfriends and they were all saying that. And I'm like, I don't think about it every day.

[B]

I don't think about it every day.

[A]

It's at least once a week.

[C]

But the Byzantines maybe, but the Romans, yeah.

[A]

No way.

[C]

I don't know if I have something I think about every day. I mean I care about like the voiceover auditions. I have the well being of my cats. I probably think about something video game like Pokemon related, Magic the Gathering related every day. But I don't know if I have like a. I feel like it changes. Like I will always love Dark Souls And Dark Souls lore. And that's like something I hugely deep dive into. But like not every day.

[B]

Yeah, no, I mean I feel the same way. Like probably for me just like pirates. But yeah, I don't. Yeah, well, I, I, to be fair, probably in the last few months I've been thinking about pirates every day. Cuz there's been a lot of pirate themes going on in my life. Not like I'm not like killing anyone or anything.

[A]

It's huge into line.

[C]

You do a lot of pillaging though.

[B]

I haven't, I've been doing sex. Some pillaging. No killing. Some light pillaging.

[C]

You guys want to take a boys trip to Nassau?

[B]

Dude, that would be sick. New Providence Island.

[C]

Yeah. Heck yeah, dude.

[A]

I guess maybe like trying to think

[B]

like is your Roman Empire

[C]

when I'm making it historically.

[A]

I don't know, but I don't know, man. Maybe like animals in nature.

[C]

I was gonna say animal. Like animal facts are fun.

[A]

I love animals. Like they're just all, they're just always up there.

[B]

I didn't know the, the exact origin of the Roman Empire thing. That's interesting that it's like, oh, what do you think about the Roman Empire? Every day I was under the impression when I saw it, it's like this is a very, this is like kind of a specific like topic or thing that I really like. And I think that knowledge about that

[A]

is what it has come to mean. Yeah, I just remember that from, from. That's what I thought that meme came from. But maybe I'm wrong.

[C]

Either way, I think it kind of boils down to the same thing. And yeah, I guess like Dark Souls lore, like animal facts.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

When I fly now on planes, even if I don't have my headphones in, I'm like, I'll find whatever like animal related documentary they have and I'll just have it on closed captions. That stuff is like, oh, look at that there. Like there was a four episode thing about a pangolin and I'm like, pangolin awesome.

[A]

Guys are sick, aren't they? By bipedal?

[C]

No, they got four. Four legs.

[A]

They have four legs. But don't, don't they like they effectively walk on their back. Their hind legs, I think.

[C]

I feel like you're right.

[B]

I feel like you're right.

[C]

But like in a velociraptor kind of way.

[A]

Not like standing up, like, like a bowser kind of way. Yeah, in a bowser way. Oh, celebrity boy crush.

[B]

Oh, celebrity boy crush. I've been very open about this in the past, and I don't think it's changed. I think it's still Austin, but Butler.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, Elvis.

[B]

Yeah, Elvis.

[A]

Yeah, Elvis.

[B]

Awesome.

[A]

Butler. Glenn Powell.

[B]

I love Glenn Powell.

[A]

Glenn Powell.

[B]

I am fan. I do love Glenn Powell. For better or worse. And. And RP Bit been really into Robert Pattinson lately.

[A]

Oh, Robert Pattinson rocks.

[B]

I love that.

[A]

Has to be one of the craziest turnarounds I've ever seen. Because when I was a teenager, when he was. When he was Edward, dudes, like, it was normal for, like, teenage dudes similar to me to be like, oh, that guy. That. That loser, fraking the vampire guy. But nowadays, every dude loves him. Like, he is maybe the most universally loved. Like, every woman and every guy is like, he's awesome.

[B]

I've been on my Robert Pattinson. Just so we're clear, though, I didn't. I'm not. I'm. I'm an early adopter.

[A]

Og.

[B]

I never was a hater of Robert.

[A]

You're an og.

[B]

I. I've always fucked with him.

[A]

Shoot. I don't know.

[C]

Yeah, this is tough.

[A]

This is really hard because even.

[C]

Even if it's, like, the gender preference that I would want to date, I don't have, like, celeb crushes.

[A]

I've never been a huge celeb crush guy, but I'm trying to think of people that. I'm just like, whoa, they are awesome.

[B]

I think I have more male celebrity crushes. Yeah. I can't. Like, if you ask me, like, who my. Who my, like, female celebrity crushes, I'd be like. Like, I'd have to probably think about it for a sec. But when you said guy, I was like, well, which one am I on right now?

[A]

Specifically. Specifically in Mission Impossible Fallout, when Henry Cavill loads. When he reloads his biceps in that brief two seconds, I'm like, that's the coolest guy on the planet. Yeah, like that. In that very moment, I'm like, all right.

[B]

Hell, yeah.

[C]

You know, I think. I think Keanu Reeves in, like, any interview where he's like, like, going to really, like, gently give you some wisdom feel. And everyone's like, whoa.

[A]

Yeah, that's good stuff.

[C]

That's a big one.

[B]

Yeah. Ryan Gosling in Project Hail Mary. Holy.

[C]

Still haven't seen her.

[A]

Oh, incredibly hot, actually. I will say, because, like, people talk about, like, male gaze versus female gays, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

There was a. There was a. We're bringing it full circle. I'm bringing about. Bringing up Penelope Cruz. Penelope Cruz had a photo Shoot that she did where she took the photos of Javier Bardem, who's her husband. Husband, I'm pretty sure. And in these photos I was genuinely like, oh, this is female gays. I get this. I get it. I see it in this. And I talked to Amanda about it, cuz, like, that's her biggest celebrity crush. And I was like, okay, I see it. He's hot. He's really hot here. And I understand. I think I get it. Javier Bardem sometimes. Definitely. Yeah, yeah. Dude has Anton Shagur.

[B]

I was.

[C]

Oh, yeah, he's got that like ass Bob and he keeps blasting people's brains.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Fall.

[A]

Yeah, he looked.

[B]

No, no, like, he looked bad. He looked bad. Skyfall. That hair was not for him.

[A]

It was not.

[B]

And then like, yeah, I mean, the cyanide pill like messed up his face so like, I can't do it for that.

[A]

But the hair.

[B]

We could have been doing something better.

[A]

Yeah, it's true.

[B]

But he's a goodlook guy.

[A]

Anyways. Well, gentlemen, hey, we did it. A pleasure.

[B]

Wow. I feel manly.

[A]

I feel pretty manly too.

[B]

Feel really manly, right?

[C]

I feel like we never fully def. Define manliness, but whatever it is, I feel it. Cuz I'm here, here with my friends.

[A]

Hey. And that's all that matters.

[B]

Being a man is about is caring about others and, and treating, you know, your fellow man with kindness.

[A]

Look, here's the situation. For the duration that you are listening or watching this podcast, you're a full grown man. Yes.

[C]

We're never going to tell you what gender you're supposed to be, except for this.

[A]

You're a full grown man right now. And then once this is over, no

[C]

longer to be a man, you must have honor. End of list.

[A]

End of list. That is it. Thank you both for joining me and thank you for watching. We'll see you next Monday. Well, actually, I won't see you next Monday. Amanda will see you next Monday.

[C]

I won't see you next. So Amanda will see you next, guys.

[A]

Handing it off. Amanda will see you next Monday, guys.

[B]

I don't know who I'm going to see next Monday.

[C]

Oh, I'll be in your room.

[A]

Yep, he'll be.

[C]

I'm the Shadow Blob.

[A]

That's right. That's the hat man.

[C]

I'm Raven. Hey, Shane. Hit. Hit me. Hit it.

[A]

Nice.

[C]

Thanks, dog.

[A]

We did.