Podcast Summary: Smosh Mouth Episode #17 - Revealing Our Dating Histories w/ Chanse McCrary
Release Date: October 16, 2023
In Episode #17 of "Smosh Mouth," hosts Shayne Topp (Shane) and Amanda Lehan-Canto engage in an open and candid conversation with guest Chanse McCrary about their personal dating histories. The episode delves into their early experiences with dating, societal pressures, the impact of online dating, and the importance of genuine connections and respect in relationships. Below is a detailed summary highlighting key discussions, insights, and memorable quotes from the episode.
1. Introductions and Setting the Stage
The episode begins with Shane and Amanda introducing their guest, Chanse McCrary, and outlining the topic of discussion: their dating histories and experiences.
- Shane [00:35]: "Today we are talking about dating. We just. Dating. And everything that comes with it."
- Amanda [00:53]: "And how different we are from each other since we all grew up in different places."
2. Amanda's Early Dating Experience: "Tuba Boy"
Amanda shares her childhood crush from second grade, humorously referring to her friend as "tuba boy."
- Amanda [02:02]: "I just call him tuba boy."
- Shane [04:02]: "What? Who's making you feel bad about life?"
Amanda recounts how her admiration for a classmate who played the tuba led to her feeling self-conscious when the boy's mother disapproved of their interaction.
- Amanda [04:16]: "He took off his shirt and continued to play the tuba."
- Chance [04:14]: "Well, I'm just like a girl, and people are like, you shouldn't do that."
3. Shane's Early Dating Experiences and Anxieties
Shane discusses his first crush in sixth grade and his subsequent anxiety surrounding dating, emphasizing the lack of guidance for straight men.
- Shane [09:00]: "There was a new girl at our school. I was just like, oh, my God."
- Shane [11:04]: "What do we do now? We dated for a week."
He highlights the societal expectations placed on straight men to "have game" and the resulting pressure to perform rather than connect genuinely.
- Shane [14:15]: "There's nothing. Zero, resources zero. Men are trying to talk about that."
- Shane [15:00]: "Most of my dating life, and especially that one was just anxiety. There was no actual joy."
4. Chanse McCrary's Dating Journey and Coming Out
Chanse shares his experiences with dating women during his college years and his journey of self-discovery leading to his coming out as gay.
- Chance [16:16]: "I was in college... but I was gay."
- Shane [22:57]: "But I want to go to a different dimension where this same conversation is happening."
Chanse discusses the challenges of dating in a theatrical environment and the societal pressures he faced before embracing his true identity.
- Chance [23:21]: "I want to marry my best friend. I want my partner."
- Shane [36:22]: "A big problem is that for child actors, the authority figures in your life are often telling you misguided things."
5. The Challenges of Online Dating
The trio explores the pitfalls of online dating, including the superficiality of profiles and the mental toll of constant swiping.
- Chance [38:09]: "I got rid of the apps about almost two years ago, and I have had so much more success dating off of the apps."
- Shane [40:31]: "The swiping. I'm like, this is. This is messed up."
They discuss how online platforms can foster loneliness and create a mindset focused on rejection rather than meaningful connections.
- Shane [41:36]: "I think a big problem... is that we are so focused on doing the impressive thing or the right thing that we're not actually forming any sort of real connection."
6. The Importance of Friendship and Respect in Relationships
Emphasizing the foundation of strong friendships, the conversation shifts to how mutual respect and genuine connections are crucial for successful relationships.
- Shane [42:14]: "Focus on friendships and you will build your network out."
- Amanda [51:07]: "If someone else is just being like, oh, okay, well, this guy told me that you have a crush on me, but I'm gonna hook up with him."
They advocate for cultivating friendships across different perspectives to gain better insights and reduce the pressure of dating.
- Chance [43:27]: "It's so powerful. It is the most freaking thing."
- Amanda [48:14]: "Respect is fucking number one."
7. Reflections on Past Relationships and Personal Growth
The hosts and Chanse reflect on their past relationships, discussing what they learned and how they've grown over time. They touch upon the concept of the "one that got away" and the importance of self-discovery.
- Amanda [55:31]: "I felt othered. And so I was like, maybe we can connect."
- Shane [56:03]: "I have to be. But it was so, it was, it was so, it was, it was so overt that I was a robot."
Chanse shares anecdotes about dating within his circle and the confusion that arises from blending friendship with romance.
- Chance [46:25]: "I want to marry my best friend."
- Shane [50:31]: "But I think what ultimately, though, is looking for that mutual respect."
8. Concluding Advice and Insights
In their closing remarks, Shane, Amanda, and Chanse offer heartfelt advice on self-love, respect, and the importance of genuine connections over societal expectations.
- Shane [65:18]: "You don't need to be in a relationship. And if you are, that's cool."
- Amanda [61:05]: "Being in a relationship does not make you a successful person."
They emphasize the significance of personal growth, understanding one's desires, and building meaningful friendships as a pathway to fulfilling relationships.
- Amanda [61:56]: "And I do think that us three have completely. What we're talking about. I don't think there's one theme here."
- Shane [64:18]: "Focus on friendships and you will build your network out. That is how you actually end up meeting people."
Memorable Quotes with Timestamps
- Amanda [02:02]: "I'll just call him tuba boy."
- Shane [15:00]: "Most of my dating life, and especially that one was just anxiety."
- Chance [38:09]: "This is an anti tinder message, an anti hinge message."
- Shane [40:31]: "The swiping. I'm like, this is messed up."
- Amanda [51:07]: "If someone else is just being like, oh, okay, well, this guy told me that you have a crush on me, but I'm gonna hook up with him."
- Shane [65:18]: "You don't need to be in a relationship. And if you are, that's cool."
- Amanda [61:05]: "Being in a relationship does not make you a successful person."
Conclusion
Episode #17 of "Smosh Mouth" offers an insightful exploration into the hosts' and their guest's personal dating histories. Through honest storytelling and reflective discussions, Shane, Amanda, and Chanse shed light on the complexities of dating, the impact of societal norms, and the value of authentic connections. Their conversation encourages listeners to prioritize self-discovery, build meaningful friendships, and approach relationships with respect and understanding.