#29 - Try Not To Laugh: The Podcast: The Rematch

Summary

Smosh Mouth Podcast Episode #29: Try Not To Laugh – The Rematch

Release Date: January 15, 2024

Hosts:

• Shayne Topp (Shane)
• Amanda Lehan-Canto (Amanda)
• Guest: Angela Jarashani

---

1. Welcome and Introduction to the Rematch

The episode kicks off with Shane welcoming listeners back to "Smosh Mouth" and introducing the rematch of their popular "Try Not To Laugh" (TNTL) game featuring their guest, Angela Jarashani.

Shane [00:35]:
"Welcome back to Smosh Mouth. I'm Shane."

Amanda [00:35]:
"And I'm Amanda. And we are going to do a TNTL round two with our lovely guest, Angela Jarashani."

Angela expresses her determination to perform better in this rematch, acknowledging the chaos of the previous episode and her increased preparation this time around.

Angela [00:43]:
"I did not prepare. And today, Shane and Amanda, I did prepare."

---

2. Game Setup and Rules

The hosts outline the rules for the TNTL rematch, emphasizing the goal to suppress laughter while engaging in various improv activities. A $40 gift card is at stake, awarded to the participant with the fewest laughs. Selena, another guest, is introduced to keep tally of laughs.

Shane [01:10]:
"We had more time to prepare as well... and there's a $40 gift card on the table, so Selena will be tallying who laughs and you want the lowest laughs to win."

The game consists of structured improv scenarios and impression challenges, each lasting 90 seconds, designed to test their ability to remain composed and avoid laughter.

Shane [01:30]:
"We have some scenarios here, just little improv situations that will flip that Timer. It'll be 90 seconds where we have to act it out but not laugh."

---

3. Personal Stories and Preparations

Before diving into the game, the hosts share personal anecdotes to set a lighthearted tone. Amanda recounts an embarrassing incident involving a full cup of juice, adding humor and relatability to the conversation.

Amanda [04:45]:
"I put my whole fist in someone's cup of juice... and my hand was covered in turmeric, and I was very embarrassed."

Shane and Angela tease Amanda about her IMDb entries and past projects, highlighting the camaraderie and playful competition among the hosts.

Shane [02:03]:
"Last time, Angela, I found some old scripts from projects you worked on."

---

4. Impressions Round

The first segment of the game involves pulling from a fishbowl filled with celebrity impressions. Each host attempts to perform impressions without breaking their composure. Angela delivers a notable impression of Tom Hanks, which earns her a tally point.

Angela [12:14]:
"I can do the chosen, but I was doing a bad chosen to make you laugh."

Shane [13:06]:
"That was Shane Tops accepting his Oscar for Uppies. Thank you, Shane."

Amanda contributes by reading scripts she's been part of, further intensifying the competitive spirit.

---

5. Reading Scripts and Fanfiction

Angela, feeling slighted by Shane's earlier antics, retaliates by presenting scripts she authored. These scripts include both original content and fanfiction, which provide ample opportunities for humor and unexpected laughs.

Angela [17:59]:
"Because I don't think any of it's gonna work, but I'm gonna fucking try."

One standout moment involves a fake voicemail from Shane's delivery driver, blending absurdity with comedic timing.

Shane [16:30]:
"I got the most insane voicemail last night... it's stage four of death, and it looks like it's a mix of gonorrhea and herpes and an ingrown hair."

The group reacts with laughter, tallying points based on their reactions to each script and voicemail.

---

6. Tallying and Conclusion

As the game progresses, the hosts keep track of their laughter tallies. Despite Amanda's numerous attempts, Shane maintains his lead with fewer laughs, prompting him to double the prize to a $60 gift card for the next rematch.

Shane [57:32]:
"I think I won again. He cannot win again. He cannot win again. He cannot win again."

Angela and Amanda express their determination to strategize better for future rounds, hinting at more elaborate attempts to make Shane laugh.

Amanda [64:49]:
"And, bro, next time I'm just going."

The episode wraps up with the hosts expressing their enjoyment of the rematch and encouraging listeners to participate by suggesting prompts for future games.

Shane [65:19]:
"Write in the comments if you have any prompts that you want us to do to try to."

---

Notable Quotes

• Shane [00:35]:
  "Welcome back to Smosh Mouth. I'm Shane."

• Angela [00:43]:
  "I did not prepare. And today, Shane and Amanda, I did prepare."

• Amanda [04:45]:
  "I put my whole fist in someone's cup of juice... and my hand was covered in turmeric, and I was very embarrassed."

• Shane [17:59]:
  "Because I don't think any of it's gonna work, but I'm gonna fucking try."

• Shane [57:32]:
  "I think I won again. He cannot win again. He cannot win again. He cannot win again."

---

Conclusion

Episode #29 of "Smosh Mouth" delivers an entertaining rematch of the "Try Not To Laugh" game, featuring humorous performances, creative scripts, and playful competition among hosts Shane, Amanda, and Angela. The addition of a higher prize for future episodes promises continued fun and engaging content for listeners.

Transcript

[Amanda]

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[Shane]

Welcome back to Smosh Mouth. I'm Shane.

[Amanda]

And I'm Amanda. And we are going to do a TNTL round two with our lovely guest, Angela Jarashani.

[Shane]

That's right, it is. Try not to laugh. The podcast, the rematch last episode was chaotic, but at the end of it, Angela, you said you wanted a rematch because you felt you weren't prepared enough.

[Angela]

Yeah, you. You. You went for me hard. And I. I did. I did not prepare. And today, Shane and Amanda, I did prepare.

[Amanda]

Okay, so did we.

[Shane]

Yeah, we. We had more time to prepare as well.

[Amanda]

We had more time to Prepare. And there's $40 gift card on the table, so Selena will be tallying who laughs and you want the lowest laughs to win. $40 gift card to your choosing. And. And Shane and I decided to create some structured games, shall we say?

[Angela]

Okay.

[Shane]

A little bit of fun to be had.

[Angela]

Okay.

[Shane]

As you notice, there's a fishbowl and a hat on the table and an hourglass. We have some scenarios here, just little improv situations that will flip that Timer. It'll be 90 seconds where we have to act it out but not laugh. And then we have a fishbowl over here full of impressions. And so we'll just test each other on impressions. All. All this while not laughing. Okay. But mind you, you can laugh right now. We haven't started the game yet. Hahaha.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Angela]

Got to get it out.

[Amanda]

Yep. And we each brought in some special things.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

To make each other laugh.

[Angela]

Just little gifts for each other.

[Shane]

Time. Last time, Angela, I found some. Some old scripts from projects you worked on.

[Angela]

You just ripped up my id IMDb.

[Shane]

Yeah. And I checked both of your IMDb again.

[Amanda]

As did I.

[Angela]

As did.

[Shane]

I did some research and maybe that'll be coming back up. So are we ready to begin?

[Amanda]

I think we're ready to begin. I gotta let it out and I can't believe that. I'm so glad that you looked at my IMDb. I'm so glad you're gonna find so Many scenes from short films that you'll have no idea where they are. I can't wait for that.

[Shane]

I was on vimeo till 3am I.

[Amanda]

Cannot wait for that.

[Angela]

Okay, who won last time? You won.

[Shane]

I won. And so I doubled the gift card.

[Angela]

Okay.

[Shane]

Because I promised to give the gift card to someone. So I. Now, if one of you wins, I will give you a $40 gift card to wherever you want to.

[Amanda]

Wherever we want.

[Angela]

Let's go. I. Let's go, guys.

[Amanda]

Okay, so the TNT rematch starts now. Whoever laughs will get a check. Mark Selena is amazing. And taking a tally. So whoever has the least amount of laughs wins.

[Shane]

Yeah, that's right. And. And it has begun now. And you heard that Angela Selena is over there taking Italian.

[Amanda]

Very funny.

[Shane]

All right. And Angela listener.

[Angela]

I barely moved.

[Shane]

Angela did not move from that. That was very.

[Angela]

So funny, though.

[Shane]

Yeah. No. Did Italians come up with tallies? Is that. Is that a thing that they would do? Like, they would. They'd be holding some chalk like that, and then it just feels like a movement that an Italian would make.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Shane]

You know, I think about that all the time.

[Amanda]

Wow. A lot.

[Shane]

When I'm in the shower, the water's not running in the shower.

[Amanda]

So did. Did. Okay, so Shane thinks about Italians in the shower. And does smart things make you laugh or surprises?

[Shane]

Let's talk about what makes us laugh.

[Angela]

I was thinking, I feel like last episode, it was shock. That made me, like, sure. Guffaw a little bit.

[Shane]

Right. Shock does get me.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Shane]

I think it can be lazy a lot of times. Shock humor. But absolutely. If you surprise me, it's hard not to laugh.

[Amanda]

Yes. I think surprise makes me laugh. I definitely think something like a funny voice or something interesting like that makes me laugh. Personally. Stories make me laugh. Embarrassing stories. I feel like I told a lot of embarrassing stories about myself and I was the one laughing.

[Shane]

Both went crazy with that. So you probably have no other embarrassing stories left, right?

[Amanda]

Oh, there's tons.

[Shane]

Oh, okay.

[Amanda]

I feel like something embarrassing happens to me every day of my life.

[Angela]

I do think about you putting your hand.

[Shane]

All right. Amanda.

[Angela]

In a full cup of juice.

[Amanda]

In a full cup of juice.

[Shane]

Amanda. Has Amanda let that slip?

[Amanda]

I laugh at my own embarrassing stories because. Yeah, I put my whole fist in someone's cup of juice.

[Shane]

That was pretty awesome.

[Amanda]

With my head turned. And what's unfortunate is that she just wouldn't let me get her a new one. Instead, she walked off very upset. So my hand was covered in turmeric, and I was very embarrassed.

[Shane]

That sucks.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Shane]

That really sucks. Also, I want to point out something, Angela, you. As of this podcast dropping, you probably have this off, but currently you have a really cool cast on. It's Christmas themed.

[Angela]

Thank you.

[Shane]

Yeah, people are gonna love that when this drops in January. Got Amanda.

[Angela]

Got her.

[Shane]

Got.

[Amanda]

You know what? I'm too loose right now. I'm having.

[Shane]

Yeah, you're having too much of a good time.

[Angela]

Yeah, you got to bulk up.

[Shane]

Angela and I are. Are internally.

[Angela]

Brotherly shove.

[Shane]

That's right. The brotherly shove of comedy. That's right. Haha. You literally cannot.

[Angela]

You.

[Amanda]

So I will explain what's happening right now. Shane is holding in a laugh and Angela's just smiling really big.

[Shane]

I'm fine. Angela's been doing this character that kills me, man.

[Amanda]

What is it?

[Shane]

Where she just has zero expression on her face. Zero expression, but so much passion in the voice.

[Angela]

Dude, you literally could not embarrass me if you even tried.

[Amanda]

Is this.

[Angela]

Theoretically, you literally couldn't even touch me no matter how hard you try right now.

[Amanda]

Okay.

[Angela]

I don't know who he is, but it gets. But it gets him.

[Shane]

It's just so funny. Just a guy who's just like, dude, bro, you literally cannot affect me.

[Angela]

You literally couldn't even.

[Shane]

Nothing you say to me could ever freaking hurt me at my feelings.

[Amanda]

Hurt me at my feelings.

[Angela]

You got me.

[Amanda]

Okay. Another.

[Angela]

It's the intensity.

[Shane]

It's the intensity. You got to speak as intensely as possible without moving your face.

[Angela]

Dude, literally nothing you say will fucking embarrass me. You could take me down. You could take my whole family down, and I won't even fucking flinch. You got that? You got that? You got that?

[Amanda]

Wow, bro. Comedy just doesn't do it for me, guys.

[Shane]

Really?

[Angela]

Oh, it's old.

[Amanda]

It's old women. It's old men. It's. It's. It's Macy's.

[Shane]

So Golden Bachelor was just killing.

[Amanda]

I never saw it because I just.

[Shane]

Wow.

[Amanda]

Didn't want these women to get crushed. And that, man, he was not attracted to me. I'm. No. And the one he chose, I'm just like. I do love that someone compared them to real people. Like, there was a Kris Kardashian in there vibe. Do you know? Did you guys see that?

[Shane]

I watched some of Golden Bachelor.

[Angela]

Yeah, I watched a little bit.

[Amanda]

No, no, no. This is separate.

[Shane]

What?

[Amanda]

No, no, no, no, no. Stop it now. This is separate. This is. They took Golden Bachelor contestants and compared them to real people. Oh, pretty fancy stuff.

[Shane]

Interesting. Okay, did you see this on. Did you see this on people.com.

[Amanda]

Okay.

[Shane]

Did you really see this on people.com?

[Amanda]

I did. And I.

[Shane]

Are you kidding me, Amanda?

[Amanda]

I have a subscription to People.com.

[Shane]

It'S embarrassing.

[Amanda]

It's fine. Except there's a lot of. There's a lot of crazy stuff on there. No one.

[Angela]

You have a subscription to people.com.

[Amanda]

Nobody knows Taylor Swift's and Travis Kelce's timeline. Nobody knew their timeline. Okay, heads up. People did.

[Angela]

This is.

[Amanda]

People knew their timeline. Nobody knew their timeline.

[Angela]

Holding it in, folks.

[Shane]

I'm going to give you a pass on that one, but that was close.

[Angela]

I was close.

[Amanda]

All right.

[Shane]

Smiling.

[Angela]

I was.

[Shane]

Speaking of.

[Amanda]

Speaking of celebs. Yeah. Shall we get into this little fishbowl of celebs?

[Shane]

Want to do some impressions? Let's.

[Angela]

Let's freaking jump in the pool of sharks.

[Amanda]

Yeah. Also, heads up. People.com is incredible.

[Angela]

You know that that makes me laugh about you for people at home. You're touching on my weakness, which is when Amanda. Amanda reads the news on her phone like it's like an old man reading the news.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Angela]

And it's. And it's her Instagram.

[Shane]

She goes to Starbucks and she. She prints it out. She prints all of the. The articles out onto paper. She goes to Starbucks and she scatters them on a table all over the place. They're falling onto the floor.

[Amanda]

That's like me solving a crime.

[Shane]

Yeah. You're trying to figure out the timeline of Travis Kelsey and Taylor Swift.

[Amanda]

Well, we don't know. That's the thing. We don't know the timeline. The timeline was never revealed and they are speaking out.

[Shane]

Did you know who Travis Kelce was at the beginning of the scene?

[Amanda]

Not a clue. Don't care. Who.

[Shane]

Who is what?

[Amanda]

Talia for Shane and Angela. Damn.

[Shane]

That was. That was a slave.

[Amanda]

Don't care. But they were speaking out. And also, you know, Meghan Markle, they feel. They felt pushed out of the royal family.

[Shane]

I get that.

[Angela]

Well, yeah. What is. What's the joke there?

[Amanda]

There's no joke. It's. It's. It's a headline. Okay.

[Angela]

Okay.

[Amanda]

If you want me to read the people.com headlines, I can do not.

[Angela]

What is People? Like, just call it People. Why is it people.com?

[Shane]

Because she doesn't subscribe to the magazine.

[Angela]

It's people.com. you can't subscribe to a dot com. I don't understand.

[Amanda]

You get it. You get it.

[Angela]

You can subscribe to a channel.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Angela]

And I'm not even subscribed to a dot com.

[Shane]

Yes, you can.

[Angela]

What do you mean you subscribe to a website that doesn't make any sense?

[Amanda]

My email, literally, my email in my updates tab sends me a people dot com email often and I get the headlines.

[Angela]

That's a newsletter.

[Shane]

That's.

[Angela]

I could subscribe to google.com.

[Amanda]

No cap.

[Shane]

No. There's certain websites that you can subscribe to.

[Amanda]

Okay, I'm just.

[Shane]

All right, let's get an impression of.

[Amanda]

I'm taking this fishbowl.

[Shane]

Let's impersonate someone who knows technology.

[Amanda]

If you would like me to send. If you would like me to send you a people dot com subscription, you let me know. Okay? It'll change your mornings.

[Angela]

I am.

[Amanda]

All right.

[Angela]

I'm cleansing.

[Shane]

Is this what you prepared?

[Amanda]

I'm reaching out to you, Angela.

[Shane]

You prepared? You prepared by not knowing technology?

[Angela]

Last night I was, like, shitting in my boots.

[Shane]

That's such a crazy booty. That's awful.

[Angela]

Last night I was like, how am I gonna do this? Oh, And I was just like.

[Amanda]

And you in your boots.

[Shane]

Up in your mouth.

[Amanda]

Guys. So I. I picked.

[Shane]

Okay, what's our first impression thing?

[Amanda]

We don't know these. So Shane and I put these impressions in here. So there are some that I know, some that I don't know. That's how it works.

[Shane]

Yeah. I made sure to write things that you guys knew.

[Amanda]

Do I get a time limit on this?

[Shane]

I think we just do impressions.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

Okay.

[Angela]

Yeah, I'm down.

[Shane]

Time limit.

[Amanda]

Share.

[Shane]

Oh, shit.

[Amanda]

Oh, I can't sing, can I?

[Shane]

You cannot sing copyrighted music. No, but you have to just.

[Amanda]

What am I supposed to do? Okay. I can't.

[Shane]

It's pretty good.

[Angela]

That's pretty good.

[Shane]

That was pretty good. Share.

[Angela]

That was pretty good.

[Amanda]

I want to sing.

[Shane]

You know, I'm sure.

[Amanda]

Oh, okay.

[Shane]

That was pretty good.

[Amanda]

If I could turn back time. Don't.

[Shane]

Don't. We're demonetized.

[Angela]

I just said if I.

[Shane]

All right. Pretty good.

[Amanda]

Okay, Pretty good.

[Shane]

That's off to a hot start with cherry.

[Angela]

Oh, this is going to be the. What?

[Shane]

What did you just say?

[Angela]

This is going to be difficult for me.

[Shane]

Oh, the show.

[Angela]

I'm doing. The chosen.

[Shane]

Chosen. This is. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on.

[Amanda]

This is the chosen.

[Shane]

Chosen.

[Angela]

Give me a second.

[Shane]

Okay. This is Angela's chosen impression.

[Amanda]

This is not good.

[Angela]

Impressive.

[Amanda]

Okay.

[Angela]

Kind of impress him.

[Shane]

Oh, not gonna laugh.

[Angela]

I'm not gonna.

[Amanda]

Why do you say, where is he from? Where is he from?

[Angela]

Impressive. Solar. This is the chosen God, Amanda.

[Shane]

That's insane.

[Amanda]

It's not. Because it's so Valuable.

[Angela]

What is the chosen? Okay, fucking jokes on you guys. I can do the chosen.

[Amanda]

Okay.

[Shane]

This is your.

[Angela]

I can do the chosen, but I was doing a bad chosen to make you laugh. Let's go.

[Amanda]

Let's. Let's go.

[Angela]

I got you both on that one.

[Amanda]

The chosen is basically Jennifer Coolidge, but.

[Angela]

A bad chosen impression. Come on.

[Shane]

No. Oh, Tom Hanks. Okay. Oh, no.

[Angela]

No.

[Amanda]

What?

[Angela]

I won't laugh at that buzz. Oh, I love a woody buzz. Oh, no, not the flailing of the arms.

[Shane]

You're not flying. You're falling with style.

[Angela]

It got me.

[Amanda]

That's a tally for Angela.

[Shane]

God, I nailed Tom Hanks.

[Amanda]

That just made me feel so weird.

[Shane]

In the Da Vinci.

[Angela]

Impressive.

[Amanda]

Impressive.

[Angela]

I got him.

[Amanda]

Tally for Shane.

[Angela]

Guys, the game has begun.

[Amanda]

I put all of these in and they're all singing ones.

[Shane]

Why did you do that?

[Amanda]

I have stiff. Stiff person syndrome. What?

[Angela]

Who is this?

[Shane]

Who is this?

[Angela]

Celine Dion.

[Shane]

Dion. I.

[Amanda]

Come on, Stop it now.

[Shane]

I feel like you could do a Celine Dion.

[Amanda]

I. But I can't sing. Yeah, you could talk like.

[Angela]

Like be Celine Dion at a Starbucks.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

French and French.

[Angela]

Is she French?

[Amanda]

Are you kidding me? She has albums that are in French. She got married in. In. In. In Montreal.

[Shane]

Her pastor was French.

[Amanda]

I have stiff person syndrome. I love Selen Dion.

[Angela]

Selena. How's the Italians? Italies. I just thought if I said his own joke back at him.

[Shane]

That's actually really good.

[Amanda]

That's a good.

[Shane]

That's a good. That's a good Titanic.

[Angela]

Oh, I got Po. The red Teletub.

[Amanda]

That was you?

[Shane]

That was you?

[Angela]

I called it a teletub. Ready? Wow. This is hard. Why can't I, like. I'm. I'm in my head. Okay, hold on, hold on. No, no, you cannot bring that back in here.

[Amanda]

You cannot tally for Amanda.

[Angela]

Because your deal with Joe Bonnie. And it really affected me. It really affected me. And I'm in healing from tabby custard and Po.

[Amanda]

Don't touch that. Po. Stop touching that. I love him too. Don't ever talk to her ever again.

[Shane]

If you look her even in the eyes.

[Angela]

Lala.

[Amanda]

Shut up, Lala.

[Shane]

I will grab my butterfly knife and I will throw it right at your fucking.

[Angela]

Don't you tear you.

[Amanda]

Santi.

[Angela]

Can I tell you guys, the other day I was so nauseous. I was very nauseous. I ate something that made me feel weird. And I was on my phone just scrolling. I was just like, oh, I just don't feel well. And I was like kind of laying down on my Bed. And I watched the Teletubby reunion to get my mind off it.

[Shane]

And it's great. People love it.

[Angela]

I love watching it.

[Shane]

That's.

[Amanda]

I love watching it too.

[Angela]

And I don't like watching like Smosh videos back that I've seen. You know what I mean? Like, I don't like to go back.

[Shane]

I would love to. Like, we should do a tally, a ranking. We could do it on. On this show. I'm not trying to make you laugh right now. We could do a ranking of like, what were the best Smosh channel videos in the between times when Anthony was gone.

[Angela]

Oh yeah. I mean for watches.

[Shane]

We had a bunch of hits that people forget about.

[Amanda]

The reunions were really good.

[Shane]

They were so.

[Amanda]

And the Teletubbies was my favorite because since the reunions were. They were structured improv. But we found the falling. We found that when the Teletubbies fell and I was crying.

[Angela]

It makes me laugh so hard. I watch that. Like I watch it a lot.

[Amanda]

And chance is dying.

[Angela]

It is so funny. And when Patrick and Jeremy come up to pick us up.

[Amanda]

Yeah, it is.

[Angela]

It just kills.

[Shane]

Yeah, it's really, really solid. Something I forgot to bring up before we started. I meant to tell you guys this as we were hanging out before. I got the most insane voicemail last night.

[Amanda]

You did.

[Shane]

I. So I ordered some food and it was on its way. But then like the driver was kind of. You know how sometimes the driver takes forever and you're like, you are. Did you miss my house? What's going on? And I get a phone call. I don't answer it because it's a number I don't recognize. And then I get a voicemail and I realize I'm like, oh, I think this is my. My delivery driver. This is.

[Angela]

I'm already.

[Shane]

And I. They left this message and I want. I couldn't fully understand what was going on. So I'm curious what you guys think.

[Amanda]

Let's hear it. Hey, Shane, this is your Uber Eats driver. I just letting you know that I'm on the freeway right now and I was a little hungry and decided to eat a fry or losing it time. I think that's three tallies for me. Oh no, for Angela, that's. Oh, five.

[Shane]

Can you believe that? That's crazy.

[Amanda]

Okay, how many tally did we.

[Angela]

In such a good way?

[Shane]

Yeah, three for Angela, two for Amanda. Cuz you laugh non stop.

[Angela]

That's so funny. Wait, I dropped something. It's these scripts.

[Shane]

Okay. Oh, okay. Now we're getting into it.

[Amanda]

I hope Your Uber driver found the way.

[Shane]

What the. Are all. You wrote a lot of shit.

[Angela]

Yeah, because you know what? I don't think any of it's gonna work, but I'm gonna fucking try.

[Amanda]

So Angela wrote a bunch of scripts because she was a little upset that Shane surprised her with a bunch of lost scripts from shows she's been on. So she went hard.

[Shane]

And yeah, mine were all about one page. This looks like you wrote a novel. You know, sometimes they say less is more.

[Angela]

Yeah, well, fuck you.

[Amanda]

Sometimes I'm just having fun. You know, you're allowed to.

[Shane]

You're allowed to. You just don't get that gift card. Yes.

[Amanda]

So. Oh, damn it.

[Angela]

This is a script I found.

[Shane]

Okay. Oh, it's called title. Written by author's name.

[Angela]

You.

[Amanda]

Oh, cool.

[Shane]

Printed with an unregistered version of Faded.

[Angela]

I don't have final draft.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Angela]

Okay, cool. I'm poor. Don't read anything. Here we go. Ready?

[Amanda]

Okay. So Angela wrote this sketch that we are going to or script that we are going to read. What show is this from?

[Angela]

You're playing Vance.

[Shane]

Oh, Vance Anderson, the character I played on Sam and Cat.

[Angela]

Interior pool party. You can play girl with pool noodle.

[Amanda]

Hey, can you pass the water guns?

[Shane]

Are you talking to me?

[Angela]

Vance Anderson looks around. He's from Sam and Cat.

[Amanda]

Yeah. You.

[Shane]

Me likey. Okay, that's pretty good. The actual.

[Amanda]

That was the actual script tally for Sean.

[Shane]

How'd you. How'd you. How did you find that?

[Angela]

I went on IMDb. I. I play. I'm playing. I'm taking a page out of your book.

[Shane]

That's so crazy. Don't do this, dad. That. Because I found the legitimate script for one of the projects you worked on, a project that probably one of your finest works. Like, it's a popular show.

[Amanda]

Ooh, is. What is it called?

[Angela]

Have that many credits? Like, he used them all.

[Amanda]

Minx.

[Angela]

There's not.

[Shane]

I believe it's Minx.

[Amanda]

Oh, that's so weird because I found a script from.

[Shane]

Oh, wow. We both. With both of our scripts combined, we probably have the complete show.

[Amanda]

Angela played Sylvia on Minx.

[Shane]

That's right. Sylvia. Oh, that's so strange. There's a scene right here.

[Amanda]

This is.

[Angela]

I can't do this anymore.

[Shane]

Do you mind reading this? Do you mind reading this, Angela?

[Angela]

I'm literally. I have tears coming out of my eyes because I'm trying so hard not to laugh. This is. This is. This is crazy.

[Shane]

It's not crazy. It's a script from a great show. It has high ratings. So this must have been interior bar.

[Angela]

1970S, I think.

[Amanda]

I think you and I wrote the same script, Shane.

[Angela]

Two dumbass ladies, Sylvia and Katie, lean against the bar and drink from a hose. Nothing will stop me. I will not. This is not the script. I'm so sorry. I'm just. I'm just taking a moment to think about really sad. So I don't laugh at the bar.

[Shane]

Drinking from a hose, Katie.

[Angela]

So I says to Bob, I says, you're a schmuck. A little tiny dick schmuck. And then I left. And I haven't talked to him since.

[Shane]

All right.

[Amanda]

Okay.

[Shane]

For both of them.

[Angela]

Sylvia. Good, good men are worthless. I'm always saying that. Wait. Oh my God. Don't look, Katie. What? Sylvia. It's the Minx. Are you going to laugh on your own? We the Minx, A middle aged Italian leopard that walks in on its hind legs and chain smoke cigarettes. She's Republican.

[Amanda]

Okay.

[Angela]

Italy.

[Amanda]

For shame.

[Angela]

Minx. This bar better not be woke.

[Amanda]

Okay, that's super shame.

[Angela]

The Minx then takes a puff and blows so much smoke they are engulfed in the clouds. When they dissipate, the Minx has disappeared.

[Amanda]

Oh, my God.

[Angela]

That's one for Amanda.

[Shane]

So that's. Is that what happens in Minx?

[Amanda]

What a cool show.

[Angela]

Yeah, that's.

[Amanda]

That's.

[Angela]

I can't believe you guys found the script.

[Shane]

I know. I had to do a lot of digging, but I found it.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And really impressed. That's really good writing.

[Amanda]

I didn't know that a minx was a leopard and he was Italian.

[Angela]

Me either.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

I actually found this script from the Minx and I realized I only printed one copy. But you and I are going to read it.

[Angela]

Okay.

[Amanda]

And I'll read the stage directions.

[Angela]

Okay.

[Shane]

Who's playing Minx?

[Amanda]

Minx isn't here.

[Shane]

Wow, that's so crazy. They didn't include the main character of the show.

[Amanda]

Yeah, they didn't include the main character.

[Shane]

Of did you meet Minx Story.

[Angela]

I didn't mean I didn't meet Minx.

[Shane]

So I hear Minx is dating Tony the tiger. Oh, but they can't figure out the timeline.

[Amanda]

A gay couple.

[Shane]

They can't figure out the people.com can't figure out the timeline.

[Amanda]

Oh, trust me, they're on it.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Amanda]

They have investigators.

[Angela]

I feel like I'm doing pretty good so far.

[Shane]

Yeah, you're doing all right.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah, you do all right for a complete fucking loser.

[Angela]

Literally nothing you could do.

[Shane]

Nothing you ever. Literally nothing could ever affect me. Nothing. You're just repeating what I'm saying nothing actually hurts me.

[Amanda]

Bro humor, man.

[Angela]

Okay, stop calling it bro humor.

[Amanda]

What is it called?

[Angela]

Humor.

[Shane]

It's called being funny and silly.

[Amanda]

And that was it. That was a silly goose. That was like. That was a tally.

[Angela]

Okay.

[Amanda]

Okay. So I play Lonnie, which is a girl name I've decided right now.

[Angela]

Okay.

[Amanda]

And you're Sylvia. Your character. Minx.

[Angela]

Okay.

[Amanda]

And I will read the stage.

[Angela]

Okay.

[Amanda]

Minx. Deleted. Called. Open. Two girls are drinking coffee at a cafe. Lonnie reads a magazine while Sylvia stares at her nails. Oh, my God, Sylvia. The magazine is out, and it's amazing.

[Angela]

Shut up.

[Amanda]

No, seriously, the only erotic mag for women is out. Here it is.

[Angela]

Shut up.

[Amanda]

I'm serious.

[Angela]

Shut up.

[Amanda]

Okay, Stop saying that. I'm getting offended.

[Angela]

Shut up.

[Amanda]

I will kill you.

[Angela]

Do it.

[Amanda]

I literally will.

[Angela]

Then do it, bitch.

[Amanda]

Lonnie slaps Sylvia so hard, she falls off her chair and into the road. A large semi truck speeds towards her and just barely misses her. Phew. That was close. Sylvia stares up at the sky, legs completely broken.

[Angela]

The magazine is out.

[Amanda]

What? Yes. End.

[Angela]

Okay, that was one for Shane.

[Amanda]

That was a really.

[Shane]

These are getting me.

[Amanda]

That's a really cool scene in Minx. It's two friends discover their limits, and it's so crazy that Lonnie had the strength to slap you out of your chair and into oncoming traffic into the road.

[Angela]

It's so funny, because violence doesn't make me laugh.

[Shane]

So when you were on Minx, what kind of thumbnail faces did you do? Okay, that's for me.

[Angela]

One. That's so funny. And I won't.

[Shane]

You rewrap their, like, cut. And you're like, all right, are we doing thumbs or. And you sat there and you go.

[Amanda]

Whoa, One for me.

[Angela]

Wow, a leopard. Oh.

[Amanda]

You know, Angela told me that she did bad faces purposely so they wouldn't choose that for thumbnails.

[Angela]

I did that for a week.

[Amanda]

And yet they choose them all the time.

[Shane]

Angela's just such a committed person. And, you know, last time we were here, you talked about being so committed to the gym that you would record things for yourself to motivate you. And I've been doing it, too, and it's been really great. Go to the gym.

[Amanda]

Just go to the gym.

[Shane]

You know, you can feel good.

[Angela]

That was just one for me.

[Amanda]

That was one.

[Angela]

Oh, he's holding it, you guys. His face is freaking red.

[Amanda]

Tears.

[Shane]

I'm fine. I'm fine. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, but it's. You know, I play that for myself in the morning.

[Angela]

And you did that 7:15am this morning.

[Shane]

You don't look at my phone. Why'd you scream invade my privacy?

[Amanda]

Why did you scream?

[Angela]

Oh, speaking of invade your privacy, I actually found some other scripts of yours.

[Shane]

Oh, you okay?

[Amanda]

Are there any of mine in there?

[Shane]

Let me read because I found another script of yours. Oh, yeah, Actually, no, I didn't. I found one for Amanda.

[Amanda]

Okay. Is it student film? The Redo of Aaron Brockovich?

[Shane]

This is some of my. You know something, Amanda, that I think is very impressive. You're one of. I have many friends who, unlike me, book a lot of commercials and are very good commercial actors. And it's. It's a very specific skill.

[Amanda]

It really is.

[Shane]

Like, actually not just be real. It's a very specific skill amongst actors.

[Amanda]

Thank you.

[Shane]

And I found one that's one of my favorites that you did, and I found the copy for it. So if you don't mind reading that. It's a fun inside look.

[Amanda]

You know, Cindy is my mom's name, so it was really cool when I booked this role.

[Shane]

Yeah, that's awesome.

[Amanda]

Interior, kitchen. Oh, this is Five nights at Freddy's.

[Shane]

Yeah, the watermark says Five nights at Freddy's.

[Amanda]

Thank you. Interior, kitchen. Day. Cindy, a mother pulls nachos out of the oven. We hear her kids, which she has running by and yelling as they head outside. Cindy, being a mother is exhausting. And the hardest part is finding the right salsa.

[Angela]

Oh, my God.

[Amanda]

Cindy reaches into the cupboard, which is filled with all sorts of bullshit a mom would have in there. Since she's a fucking mom. Okay, that's a tally for all of us.

[Angela]

Let everyone at the table.

[Amanda]

Because she's a fucking mom.

[Shane]

She's a fucking mom, Cindy.

[Amanda]

That's why I use Dr. Scholl's comfortable salsa. It's got everything. The salt, the lime, the Mexican salsa.

[Shane]

Yes, there it is.

[Angela]

There it is.

[Amanda]

Cindy grabs her stomach. Uh oh. Looks like I'm going into labor. It's time for this mother to become even more of a mother. All thanks to Dr. Scholz. Narrator Bo. What's po. I'm just being stupid writing it back behind outside. Do not use Dr. Scholl's comfortable salsa if you are not pregnant. Oh, my God.

[Angela]

Oh, I got her. Got her at the end.

[Amanda]

Wait, this is really good.

[Shane]

It's just stupid.

[Amanda]

You're stupid.

[Angela]

That's crazy. You found that.

[Shane]

One of my predictions, which. Oh, I forgot to bring them. We have our. We have all of our predictions for 2024. We have them listed out. I will make sure to bring them next time for next episode. But one of them is that I think Amanda's going to book a role as a mom this year. So, you know, just putting it out in the universe. Whoa.

[Amanda]

And we made a bunch of predictions with Courtney. We had a bunch. I said Anthony was going to shave his head.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

I was going to get a tattoo or dye my hair.

[Shane]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Amanda]

I was going to be a smosh baby.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Angela]

Why?

[Amanda]

I don't know who's. These are our predictions, so we have a full. We have a full board to see.

[Shane]

If they're going to be a wild year. All right.

[Angela]

That is crazy.

[Shane]

What bullshit do you have?

[Amanda]

I'm so glad I booked that commercial for Dr. Scholz. Made a lot of money.

[Shane]

Comfortable Salsa mom.

[Angela]

Okay. Yeah, we'll.

[Shane]

Really wrote a bunch, huh?

[Amanda]

Yeah, I wrote them this morning.

[Angela]

No, I didn't. I wrote them this morning. Okay. So here you go.

[Shane]

Ooh.

[Amanda]

Written by author's name. Love it.

[Angela]

Okay. I just thought. I. I honestly don't look at anything. Please.

[Shane]

I'm not looking.

[Angela]

I. I honestly just couldn't believe the other day that you. That we are in the same Danger Force universe.

[Shane]

I know. It's pretty cool that we do play characters in the same universe.

[Angela]

We both play characters in that. And I just thought that we should get Amanda in there.

[Shane]

Yeah, we absolutely should. So who's playing what?

[Angela]

So, Amanda, you'll play iCarly. I'll play and you'll play Dennis.

[Shane]

Great.

[Angela]

Okay. Interior, Mexican salsa.

[Amanda]

Fire. Fire. Fire. Someone please help. My Easy Bake oven blew up because I tried to bake a water bottle.

[Angela]

Stay calm. They're on their way. Four people come rushing in.

[Shane]

We're here. The cast of the new Fantastic Four. Henry Danger, Joe Biden, Josie and Dennis, canonically played by Shane Topp.

[Angela]

Got you.

[Shane]

You got me with Mexican salsa.

[Angela]

That's it. I just got you the first.

[Amanda]

I didn't laugh.

[Angela]

Yeah, no, this was a. This was a dud.

[Amanda]

No, this one was great.

[Shane]

Dennis. Dennis was a villain, so it doesn't matter.

[Angela]

I rewrote it. It doesn't matter. Minx is literally not an animal. It's not a character in the show.

[Shane]

Well, guys, literally a fucking.

[Amanda]

The weirdest thing is I actually got a missed call.

[Angela]

I'm so sick of this.

[Amanda]

And you know what's so weird, Shane? Did you use my number as your emergency contact?

[Shane]

Oh, maybe I did.

[Amanda]

Did you use your number as your. Your number? Oh, boy. So I got a voicemail, and I don't think it was for Me.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Amanda]

Okay. Well, here it is. Hello, this Message is for Mr. Shane Top. Mr. Shane Top. Hi, this is Sandra Charmaine, and I'm calling at Dr. Officious office. And I just wanted to call that. We got our test results back for you. And just a heads up, we did find a little bump, and so nothing to be too concerned about, but there is a very tiny, minuscule, small, large bump on the tip of your penis. And we just want to let you know that it's nothing to worry about. Don't get all stressed out. Please don't call the office when we are not open. We are open from 9 to 11am we did a quick little procedure pull test on the bump on your penis, and it turns out to be deadly. And so there's nothing to worry about. But I think it's about. It's stage four of death, and it looks like it's a mix of gonorrhea and herpes and an ingrown hair. So there's nothing too much to worry about. But we just wanted to call and let you know and do our job and inform you ahead of time that you have about a couple weeks left of your life. So please give me a call back to let me know that you receive this. And also at the end of this call, we would really, really appreciate a five star review. Thank you so much, Mr. Shane.

[Shane]

Wow.

[Angela]

Wow.

[Shane]

That's. Yeah, it's like you have a bump.

[Amanda]

In your penis and it's death and it's.

[Shane]

It's a combination of everything.

[Angela]

That felt like seven hours long.

[Amanda]

Yeah, so I got that voicemail and I was really concerned, so I thought I'd just play it out on the pod for you rather than let you know that you have two weeks left.

[Shane]

I really appreciate that, Amanda.

[Angela]

Thank you.

[Amanda]

Did we get on that one a lot? Okay.

[Angela]

How'd you get the bump?

[Amanda]

Oh, I think she said ingrown hair or gonorrhea.

[Shane]

It was ingrown hair. Yeah. It's fascinating. I'm the first person to get gonorrhea without ever having sex.

[Amanda]

Because you're sexless.

[Angela]

Because you're sex.

[Amanda]

Tommy said that Shane's sexless.

[Shane]

He did say I'm sex sexless. He says that I give off sexless.

[Angela]

That is so.

[Amanda]

He wasn't kidding.

[Angela]

And it won't make me laugh.

[Shane]

It's the sequel to Shameless.

[Angela]

Shut up. No, I got it.

[Shane]

Okay. You literally can't even affect me.

[Angela]

You literally can't even. I want to go, dude, you do.

[Shane]

Not even affect me right now. You can literally not even say anything that would ever affect me emotionally or spiritually or even physically. That is what. That is the truth, man. And that is what. I'm speaking from my heart right now. You literally cannot do anything to me. You cannot. You are basically nothing.

[Amanda]

Did you have that planned ahead?

[Angela]

That was insane. What just happened? Haha. You basically are nothing to me. That was like three points. Huh? I was like silently laughing, but that was like.

[Amanda]

That was three tallies.

[Shane]

This episode is brought to you by HelloFresh. HelloFresh is America's number one meal kit. They send you farm fresh ingredients pre portioned right to your doorstep, making for less hassle and less cleanup.

[Amanda]

They say that breakfast is the most important meal of the day. And I totally agree with that. And hellofresh is offering one free breakfast item with every subscription. For life? Yeah, for life. As long as your subscription is active, they are giving you a free breakfast item. That's amazing.

[Shane]

Pretty sweet deal. I actually did hellofresh and it was really great. I actually cooked it right here in the smosh studio. It was super simple, delicious. And it's true. The cleanup, I was in and out of our kitchen so fast, nobody knew I was there.

[Amanda]

Wow. Sounds kind of scary. Go to hellofresh.com smoshmouthfree and use code smoshmouthfree for free breakfast for life. One breakfast item per box while subscription is active. That's free breakfast for [e-mail] smoshmouthflower free with code Smosh mouth free.

[Shane]

Back to the show.

[Amanda]

Here we go.

[Angela]

Can I scenario this?

[Shane]

Yeah, you want to do some scenarios?

[Amanda]

Yeah, you want to do some scenarios, kid?

[Shane]

So we'll pull out a scenario. We'll start the timer for 90 seconds and you and someone else can or whoever can act it out.

[Amanda]

Someone might say who to act it out.

[Shane]

Oh, wow. Oh, you got specific with them.

[Amanda]

Oh, well.

[Shane]

Huh. That was my watch.

[Amanda]

What the hell?

[Shane]

I got a new watch in. It beeps on the hour, so I know when an hour has passed.

[Amanda]

Thank God.

[Angela]

Here we go, guys. Shane is accepting an Oscar for his role in Baby and Baby wants uppies.

[Shane]

Okay. Oh my gosh. Thank you so much, God. You know, I want to thank Barbara Cunningham. She's the producer on this. You know, when the director and the producer got together, they had a tough time figuring out who would lead this. And I auditioned and I didn't feel great about it. I didn't think that I asked for uppies quite with the urgency that they had.

[Amanda]

We love uppies.

[Shane]

Thank you, Barbara.

[Amanda]

We love Uppies.

[Shane]

Thank you so much, Barbara. And, you know, I gotta say, and I really want to thank my wife. You know, when I need uppies, there.

[Amanda]

Is someone who gives me time.

[Shane]

I have more time left. I. My wife, she gives. She gives my heart. Uppies. Every. Every morning, every. Every evening, throughout every day. I. I would not be able to do this without her. Uppies. And by uppies, I do mean her connection to get cocaine, which is what I need. I was. I was blasted throughout the entire filming process.

[Amanda]

Thank you so much. That was Shane Tops accepting his Oscar for Uppies. Thank you, Shane. You can go off stage now. Okay, you can go here. Go to the left.

[Shane]

All right. I'm going to the left now. All right.

[Amanda]

Thank you.

[Shane]

Go to the left. Don't slap me. I'm just kidding. I want to thank the Academy.

[Amanda]

Oh, my God. We don't talk about that.

[Shane]

Fuck.

[Angela]

Don't slap me.

[Amanda]

90 seconds. Okay, okay, I'm getting a scenario. Angela is a dog walker who doesn't pick up the poop. Neighbor Amanda sees.

[Shane]

Okay. Love this.

[Amanda]

Here we go. Excuse me. Yes, Hi. Is that your dog's shit? Is that your dog's shit? He looks like a nightmare. Oh, he's eating his own shit on my lawn. Is that your dog's shit? You know, they're gonna get really sick.

[Angela]

He's eating it. He's eating it. So we're cleaning it up.

[Amanda]

You're good. Excuse me. Do you need a bag?

[Angela]

No. He's eating it.

[Amanda]

Well, I don't.

[Angela]

Look at him.

[Amanda]

He looks so sick.

[Angela]

Look at him.

[Amanda]

Oh, oh, oh. I don't want to. I don't want this on my lawn. I do not want this.

[Angela]

He's eating the. There's no poop on your lawn. He just ate what he shat.

[Amanda]

What's your name?

[Angela]

Tracy.

[Amanda]

Mm. Feels like you're lying to me.

[Angela]

Oh, yeah?

[Amanda]

Yeah. Tracy, you know how many people shit on my lawn?

[Angela]

But how many people eat the shit when it's taken?

[Amanda]

Nobody. Your dog is sick. Look at him. Hello?

[Angela]

It is so tense in here, guys. I can't breathe.

[Amanda]

Hello?

[Shane]

Okay, that's a tally for Angela, I think. Nice.

[Angela]

I couldn't even act. I just do.

[Amanda]

You know, my dog used to eat its own shit, too.

[Shane]

That's awful.

[Angela]

Disgusting.

[Amanda]

Yeah, it's really gross.

[Angela]

Disgusting.

[Amanda]

They show up with their beard all brown. It's gross.

[Shane]

Two people on a flight arguing over a seat, reclining. All right, Angela, do you want to. Do you want to get in a fight with me?

[Angela]

Oh, God.

[Shane]

Oh, are you.

[Angela]

Oh, God. I gotta recline my seat.

[Shane]

Oh, I'm.

[Angela]

Ma'am, My husband broke my back out last night. You know what that means?

[Shane]

Ma'am, that is way too much information for me.

[Angela]

Oh, God. He fucking ripped me a new one. I got a back. Can I use, Can I recline this seat?

[Shane]

No, ma'am, I need this space. I'm using my laptop here.

[Angela]

I need to. Please, I need to recline the seat.

[Shane]

I'm sorry. I have my laptop out. I'm writing a script.

[Angela]

Even if whatever script you write, I'm telling you, my husband tore me a new clip.

[Shane]

I need you to. Can you please explain that? No, no. Flight attendant, please.

[Amanda]

We'll be landing in about five minutes. Oh, God.

[Shane]

I can't keep flying for a second. I need to know what the hell that is.

[Amanda]

I don't fly the planes.

[Shane]

Tell the pilot to keep flying. Don't land until I know what this means.

[Amanda]

I don't have that.

[Shane]

What do you mean?

[Angela]

They sing side by side to side.

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah. I need to know.

[Angela]

Why does he have a big one?

[Amanda]

I got her.

[Angela]

I got her like 5,000 times.

[Amanda]

They didn't. Excuse me, you're both gonna have to lift up your tray table because we're going to land in Chicago.

[Shane]

I'm writing a script.

[Amanda]

Nobody cares about your goddamn script.

[Shane]

Oh, they will care. Assassin's Creed 3.

[Angela]

No, I didn't do it. But you, Amanda, we got like five times on that one.

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's destroyed, guys. Yeah, devastating.

[Amanda]

I, I, I will say I did get what I did get a missed call, and I think this one was for me, if I can play it for you guys. I got a voicemail. It's from my neighbor. Hi there. My name's Mary Jones. I'm your neighbor. I just want to let you know that as I was backing up into my driveway, I by accidentally smashed the side of your vehicle. And I think your mirror jumped about a couple feet in the middle of the road. And so I quickly parked my car and I got out and a semi truck ran over your mirror and she sounds exhausted. I tried to do everything I can, but the glass just smashed to pieces. So I just wanted to let you know that I tried to write a note on your car. And as I was going through my car to find a piece of paper, I left my door open and a child teenager on their scooter came whipping, whipping by and just smashed into the side of my car door and completely ripped it off its hinges. And so it looks like we're both you know, out of luck, there's like half. So I didn't quite get time to write a message on your vehicle, but I just want to let you know that the whole left side of it is smashed to smithereens and spelling the words, which is unfortunate because I have a trip with my brother to Del Norte.

[Angela]

Taylor, she's mouthing the word.

[Amanda]

And I promised him that I would drive. And we're gonna go up there and look at the sights and probably get a nice dinner, then just drive home. But it looks like I can't do that. So if you get your car fixed in time, could you give me a call back? And I would really appreciate if I could borrow your car again. This is your neighbor and. All right, I'm gonna hang up now. I'm about to lose my Spectrum service, so if you can't call me back, just knock on the door, leave me a note. Thank you.

[Shane]

What the fuck?

[Angela]

You're my comedic hero.

[Shane]

God damn it.

[Amanda]

So I'm in the bedroom and Garde's cooking, and he's like, what did you do in there? I was like, nothing.

[Angela]

I actually.

[Amanda]

That's my neighbor. She's pretty crazy.

[Shane]

I think I got a call.

[Angela]

Oh, my God.

[Shane]

I think I got a call from my neighbor. Hold on, let me see.

[Angela]

Oh, my God.

[Shane]

I don't know. I. I found that, so I made that. But then I actually did find this recording from 2021.

[Angela]

Oh my God.

[Amanda]

Oh, no.

[Shane]

This is honest to God, from 2021. You can see the date there, right?

[Angela]

Yeah, that got me.

[Amanda]

You need help.

[Angela]

You need help.

[Shane]

I. I had that.

[Angela]

How did you make that say 2021?

[Amanda]

Wait, can we.

[Shane]

I didn't make it say 2021. It's from 2021.

[Angela]

We don't just have that.

[Amanda]

Can we do it?

[Shane]

This is another one. This. This is a.

[Amanda]

Can we do a point check look.

[Shane]

This is also from 2021. And people know this. They cuz they can find the traff. This is from. Sonic chuckled as he wiped the blood from his lips. Is that all you've got? Dominic Toretto loomed over him, his fist high in the air, ready to kill. If you punch me, you punch the streets. Well, how about we solve this like gentlemen? Sonic said, and he looked over at John Wick. John Wick nodded. The game was on. It was time for a race that's chosen fan fiction.

[Angela]

Yeah, literally chosen. Speaking of fan fiction, I have some podcast fan fiction. Some smosh mouth.

[Amanda]

Wait, let's get a quick tally. It's closer than everyone thinks.

[Angela]

Amanda and Shane have 23.

[Shane]

Okay. We are at 23. Laughs and Angela's at 22.

[Amanda]

Oh, my God.

[Angela]

Okay, that's crazy, because I. I love smosh mouth. I love coming onto your podcast.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Angela]

And. Yeah, no, but I found some. I was, like, going on the Internet, you know, I was just, like, looking around, and I found some. Some smosh mouth fan fiction.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

That feels very connected because he just showed us chosen fan fiction.

[Angela]

Yeah, that's why. Yeah.

[Shane]

Fascinating.

[Amanda]

Written by author's name. I'm getting deja vu.

[Angela]

Yeah. So just.

[Amanda]

So this is Smoshmouth fanfiction.

[Angela]

I just found it on the Internet and I printed it.

[Shane]

So what website?

[Angela]

Fanfiction.org.org.

[Shane]

Wow.

[Amanda]

Is that a subscription?

[Shane]

Yeah. Do you subscribe to.

[Angela]

No, because you can't subscribe to websites, and that'll never make me laugh.

[Shane]

I'm actually glad you don't know the legitimate fan fiction websites, because you would find. I guarantee you we're gonna read this, and it's gonna be insane. And then I can show you something crazier. Real fanfiction that will blow. Blow your mind.

[Amanda]

Should we do an episode of Just Fan Fiction?

[Shane]

Oh, God. Honestly, Maybe that's a smosh pit theater. Or maybe we do read some here. I don't know. But.

[Amanda]

But this is.

[Angela]

I think there's a lot that's good.

[Shane]

There's a lot that's funny and fun, and there's some that's insane.

[Angela]

Well, this one I found to be a little scary, so.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Amanda]

Oh, okay.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Amanda]

Interior. Smosh mouth set. I got the letter from Nichols.

[Shane]

Angela, what have you done? Did they give you money? Did they give you money?

[Amanda]

No.

[Shane]

Can't say my uncle didn't help. Amanda, I have to be honest. I didn't come here for chitchat.

[Amanda]

But we're a podcast.

[Shane]

I'm ending the relationship.

[Amanda]

Our podcast relationship.

[Shane]

I have a lot of aspirations for this year, and I really don't. I really can't afford many distractions. My Paris program this summer is going to keep me really busy.

[Amanda]

But, Shane, who's Paris? What are you doing?

[Shane]

You can't leave Smoshmouth, Amanda, you need to learn the difference between fantasy and reality. Do you even have a ticket to Paris?

[Amanda]

Who the fuck is Paris?

[Shane]

God, Amanda, Paris is a city. And this is Lemon Lima. You wrote out the first scene from Dear Lemon Lima.

[Amanda]

I don't know what this is.

[Shane]

So this is. This is. This is. She copied the. The lines from a movie I did back when I was, like, 17 called Dear Lemon Lima. Oh, which is actually a pretty good movie.

[Angela]

Oh, God. And you killed that performance. You just did the exact performance. I watched it last night.

[Shane]

Oh, I did. You watched that first scene?

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

What's the movie called?

[Shane]

Oh, damn.

[Amanda]

What's the movie called?

[Shane]

I won an award for that movie.

[Amanda]

What award?

[Shane]

Outstanding Performance at the LA Film Fest Award.

[Amanda]

Wow. What's the movie called?

[Shane]

Dear Lemon Lima.

[Amanda]

Okay, who's Nichols? And why doesn't this girl know who Paris is?

[Angela]

That I added.

[Shane]

I'm not telling you the whole plot of the movie.

[Amanda]

Okay, guys, go watch. Dear Lemon Lima.

[Shane]

A lot of our listeners probably have.

[Amanda]

Starring Shane Topp. And he won an outstanding Performance award. At least they know this.

[Shane]

This is old news for them.

[Amanda]

Cool fan fiction for the fans.

[Angela]

That was really cool. That's cool.

[Shane]

That's awesome. Hey, Angela.

[Angela]

Yeah?

[Shane]

I've got a really. You know what? We've been doing a lot of movie and tv, but you are well known on the stage.

[Angela]

Jesus Christ.

[Amanda]

Is this Broadway?

[Shane]

Better.

[Angela]

Oh, my God.

[Shane]

The Internet knows this. Angela, you are on. You're part of a little production known as StarkID, which Smosh fans, they love Starkid.

[Amanda]

She has a bunch of fan art.

[Shane]

I found. I found one. You did one called Nerdy Prudes Must Die. And it's praised. It is been given so many accolades. And I understand now that I read some of the. Some of the play. Do you mind reading it out? I'd love to hear you do it from your character.

[Amanda]

Me too.

[Angela]

Do you want to read the.

[Shane]

No, you read it all.

[Angela]

I just saw, folks. I just saw a glimpse of what my last name is attempting to be in this. Here we go. Oh, the watermark is.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Angela]

How do you write act one? I know. I tried so hard to find the watermark button.

[Shane]

I just work on it really hard.

[Angela]

Act one, Scene one. Hatchetfield High today. This is. This is cool. I love this. I'm gonna choose to love this.

[Shane]

Thank you.

[Angela]

It's the first day of school, and students bustle around the stage. The spotlight shines on a group of nerdy losers whose starkids Tumblr audience probably relates to. At center stage is Grace Chastity, played by Angela Punenesca.

[Amanda]

Puttanesca.

[Angela]

Puttanesca. Giratania Harding.

[Amanda]

Damn it.

[Angela]

Grace says, Ugh. I hate being a nerd who's also a prude. Two broke girls enter.

[Shane]

Got her.

[Angela]

Kat Dennings. Can I get a coffee? Hipster 2, played by Angela Gorilla. No. Everyone kisses making every star kids dream come true.

[Shane]

I get why they love it. I get why they love that play.

[Angela]

No, I really. That was one of my favorite scenes in Nerdy Prudes Must Die.

[Amanda]

Yeah. Laughs do we get for Ange on that? That sucked.

[Shane]

Just one. But it was worth it. It was worth it.

[Amanda]

Are you. Do you still do anything with Starkid?

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Shane]

That's really cool.

[Angela]

Yeah. Well, yeah.

[Amanda]

What's. What's your next thing coming up? Are you not allowed to say?

[Angela]

I don't even know.

[Amanda]

Great.

[Angela]

But we'll see.

[Shane]

That's really awesome. I have something that I worked on years ago that I want to show you guys. Okay. Actually, real quick. This is real. This one is not a joke that I recorded. For this. I found some old ADR that I recorded. I think it was for. Here. It was for a Smosh video.

[Angela]

Oh, my God.

[Shane]

This is real. This is not a joke. I had to record this. And you could relate because you do vo. You know, this is real. Oh, oh.

[Amanda]

Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. I'm sorry. This. That is brilliant. Because you need to do so many takes of something that after a while, the word ow, you don't even know what it means anymore.

[Angela]

Ow.

[Shane]

Yeah, but okay, Real. This is real. I also, in recording stuff the other day, I found a recording from 2020. It just said new recording 31. So I was like, what is this? I play it and I was like, this is the funniest thing I've ever recorded. I do not remember recording this. This was in January of 2020. This is from four years ago. I'm not gonna laugh at this.

[Amanda]

Do. Wait. Just. You just.

[Angela]

You just had to.

[Amanda]

Wait. That's real.

[Angela]

Wait, really?

[Amanda]

Wait. That's real. I'm for guys. I can't believe I did that. That's probably the hardest.

[Angela]

I've never seen him like this.

[Amanda]

It's probably the hardest.

[Angela]

Dude.

[Shane]

Do you know how hard I laughed?

[Amanda]

When I'm going through recordings, I go, what is this?

[Angela]

And I sent a message to myself.

[Amanda]

Four years later and I farted.

[Shane]

Do you ever.

[Amanda]

That's the hardest.

[Angela]

You guys laugh.

[Shane]

I can't.

[Angela]

I can't. Oh, dude.

[Shane]

It's so stupid.

[Amanda]

Oh, my God. Why did you do that? I don't know.

[Angela]

That is. You guys. I can't look at him.

[Shane]

I don't know.

[Amanda]

Wait. Do you guys know the trend on Instagram called Guess the Fart?

[Shane]

Yes.

[Amanda]

It's my favorite thing on the planet where couples or friends or whatever will go, hey, guess the fart. And they'll film the person, and then the person has to make the fart noise with their Mouth.

[Shane]

No, not with their mouth.

[Amanda]

Got her.

[Angela]

It got her.

[Shane]

They. The ones that do real farts. They do real farts.

[Amanda]

No, no, no. I know, but they go, guess the fart. And then the person goes.

[Shane]

They go, oh, it's gonna like.

[Amanda]

And then the actual fart, and they try to.

[Angela]

No, that's a crazy trend.

[Amanda]

It's a crazy trend.

[Shane]

That is some wild shit.

[Angela]

I have one more script I brought.

[Shane]

Oh, God.

[Angela]

And honestly, I. I was thinking about, you know, how much I love Smosh Mouth, and I love this. This format. But I also loved when we brought in those rejected sketches. I really loved it.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Angela]

And I was thinking about them, and.

[Amanda]

I think, so genuine.

[Angela]

I wrote. I just took. I, I. I just. Let's just read it together. You guys. You guys are girl one and two, and I'm Escape Room employee.

[Amanda]

Am I one or two?

[Angela]

You could be one and you could be two.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Angela]

Interior.

[Shane]

I wrote a script called Escape Room last time.

[Angela]

Yeah. And I just loved the premise so much that I wanted to try it on for size.

[Shane]

Oh, okay.

[Angela]

Interior, Escape room. All right. Those are the rules. Make sure you girls play fair.

[Amanda]

Okay. Yay.

[Shane]

I'm so excited.

[Amanda]

We've never done an Escape Room before, so we are super stoked.

[Shane]

Yeah. What she said.

[Angela]

Enjoy the game. Enjoy the game. Will start in 3, 2, 1. Why don't one of you read that?

[Shane]

The two girls now start talking with the most disgusting, horny and loud voices. Voices that are so disgusting sounding that it should change the actor's face to also look fucking disgusting.

[Amanda]

I'm so horny for Escape Room challenges. I'm a little baby and I love games.

[Shane]

I fucked John Pork.

[Angela]

What?

[Shane]

I slept with him. You bitch. You guys broke up and that's the end. That's the end.

[Angela]

Oh, I fucked it. I wrote that one, like, right before we came onto it.

[Amanda]

Did you laugh, like.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Wow.

[Angela]

I just kind of wanted to make you guys look stupid.

[Amanda]

Guys.

[Shane]

I owned that.

[Amanda]

Let us know if any of these scripts you guys want us to see act out.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Angela]

Honestly, Seriously.

[Amanda]

On the big screen at Theater Pit.

[Angela]

That one, I really last minute was like, oh, I gotta do something.

[Shane]

Next up at Alamo Drafthouse, we have Horny Escape Room Ladies, followed by Starkid.

[Angela]

Hey, but listen, I'll say this one thing. Send in the clowns. Do you hear that?

[Shane]

I don't know if that's gonna be picked up on our mics, but there are fart noises being played on the other side of the room right now.

[Angela]

So you send in the clowns.

[Shane]

Did you record yourself?

[Amanda]

Jesus Christ. You make Selena tally and hold on to a phone.

[Shane]

And Angela is holding. Selena is holding a. Fuck. They're relentless. There are so many farts happening off screen right now.

[Angela]

Sorry, guys. That one.

[Amanda]

That was it.

[Shane]

End in the clowns.

[Angela]

Oh, careful. That's her cue. So if you say it again.

[Amanda]

So Selena had to tally and do that. Well, this is so weird because I got. I got a voicemail. A really quick one, guys. A quick one. A promise. Hello, this is an important call from Hustlers Hollywood calling to let you know that your. Your package is ready for pickup. Your package of ball and gag vibrator strap on slapped slap whip titty titty edible pasties is ready for pickup. Please show up and show your id.

[Angela]

Thank you. That's my favorite.

[Shane]

Thank you. God damn it.

[Angela]

Damn it, you guys.

[Amanda]

Well, I didn't make that voicemail. They called me because I have to pick up my stuff.

[Angela]

Oh, that was a really, really good voicemail. And I'm. I was happy to give you those talents. I was happy to take those talents.

[Shane]

I know I was. Yeah.

[Amanda]

Where are we at right now?

[Shane]

Oh, God. Who's in the lead crying?

[Amanda]

Amanda has 33.

[Shane]

Amanda, you have 33.

[Amanda]

Wow. Shane has 30.

[Shane]

I have 30.

[Amanda]

Yeah. What? I actually missed five checkpoints from earlier, so.

[Angela]

He's at 35.

[Shane]

Angela's at 35. I'm in the lead.

[Amanda]

Wait, Shane, like, laughed a lot at his own fart. How did that not.

[Shane]

But it was one.

[Angela]

One big laugh. Okay, I'm gonna do an impression.

[Amanda]

Get it.

[Shane]

Do it. There's time left. You could still win this. I believe in you.

[Amanda]

I don't think so.

[Shane]

You cannot affect me.

[Angela]

Not funny enough.

[Amanda]

What was that?

[Shane]

What the.

[Angela]

Anyone on Love is Blind.

[Shane]

Oh, yeah. That sucks.

[Angela]

This is Ariana Grande.

[Shane]

Okay, let's hear it. I was on Victorious. This is what Ariana Grande actually sounds like.

[Amanda]

Oh, it's not.

[Shane]

Yeah, it's a laugh.

[Angela]

That's a laugh.

[Amanda]

Oh, my God.

[Angela]

Freaking got her.

[Shane]

Slipped up, dude.

[Angela]

Slipped up. Go, go.

[Shane]

I'll do one. Gonna freaking nail it. Tommy. Bo.

[Amanda]

Oh.

[Shane]

Oh. Oh. Guess my job sucks.

[Amanda]

Okay, Slade.

[Shane]

Yeah. Fucking not annihilated.

[Amanda]

Do another one, please.

[Shane]

Annihilated that. No, no, no, no, no. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Oh, Siri. Oh, God. I can't do Siri. I'm sorry. I didn't quite get that. I can't do Siri.

[Amanda]

Pretty good.

[Angela]

That was pretty good. I'm sorry, I. Now playing.

[Amanda]

What did you say? Now playing.

[Shane]

I'm Afraid I can't do that.

[Amanda]

That's pretty good.

[Angela]

What is this, Christopher Walken? A ghost.

[Shane]

You actually do a really good Christian cat.

[Angela]

No, I can only say ghost.

[Amanda]

Oh, that's good.

[Shane]

Yes, I know.

[Angela]

I was in Hairspray with John Travolta.

[Shane]

I will say that's pretty. You do a pretty decent crystal walk in.

[Amanda]

Thanks.

[Angela]

And my chosen is pretty good.

[Shane]

Your chosen is Jennifer Coolidge. Your chosen is 100, Jennifer.

[Angela]

This is the chosen.

[Shane]

That is not the chosen. You're putting too much effort.

[Angela]

Oh, this is the chosen.

[Shane]

There you go. You're going. You're going. That's. That's more chosen.

[Angela]

Oh, this is the chosen from. This is a chosen Cowboy. Chosen Cowboy. The chosen Cowboy.

[Shane]

I don't know if there's a chosen cowboy.

[Angela]

I'm trying so hard, guys. The floors are just dredged in papers.

[Amanda]

Oh, God. What is Austin Butler?

[Shane]

I don't know how to.

[Amanda]

Oh, Elvis. Well, you know.

[Angela]

Wait.

[Amanda]

Well, you know, I just want to say thank you very much to Priscilla Presley. And did you guys hear his acceptance speech when he went full Elvis? You didn't.

[Angela]

Well, I like when Jacob Elordi did Elvis. He was in. There's a scene that made me laugh so hard. He goes, baby, baby, I'm a daddy. Maybe I'm not daddy.

[Shane]

I've got a really good impression here.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

Okay.

[Shane]

Angela's mom.

[Angela]

Okay. Okay, let's see it. I cannot afford to lose Angela.

[Shane]

Angela Putin. Eska Gira. Tanya Harding. Look me in the eyes when I'm talking to you. I am your mother and I. You.

[Amanda]

You work here at Smoosh. I think she also has to be Southern. When the last.

[Shane]

And I'm also Southern.

[Amanda]

Hello. Oh, howdy. What did she do when she came on here? Let's do this.

[Shane]

Howdy, Princess.

[Amanda]

Angela.

[Shane]

Angela.

[Amanda]

Angela.

[Shane]

Angela.

[Angela]

Nothing.

[Shane]

I just got done with Soul Cycle. Oh, wait. I actually want to see your impression of this.

[Angela]

Yeah. What is it?

[Shane]

SARAH Christ. I want to hear your SARAH Christ.

[Angela]

Okay. Yeah, I think I could. I want to go on record. I think bad impressions are funnier.

[Shane]

Yes. But I want to see you. Actually, I think you.

[Angela]

Hold on one second. Give me a second.

[Shane]

Okay, Give me a.

[Angela]

Give me a sec. Hold on. Give me a second.

[Amanda]

She from Fargo.

[Angela]

Shut up. Give me a second. So I. I. Every morning, I. I smoke a cigarette. I light a cigarette and I put it out because I quit.

[Shane]

That's good.

[Angela]

Oh, yeah. Oh, God. I'm looking for the creek side killer.

[Amanda]

Put your bottom jaw.

[Angela]

Put my bottom chop.

[Amanda]

There it is.

[Angela]

Oh, There. Oh, there it is. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, this is. This is.

[Amanda]

Okay.

[Shane]

It's a little more mob bossy there.

[Angela]

Yeah, yeah. So I'm sarah. Christ.

[Amanda]

They're also Fargo, too.

[Shane]

Yeah, no, see, my sarah. Christ. I think it's. It's more of the physicality. It's just like I'm looking for the Creekside killer.

[Angela]

Yeah, I'm looking for the killer.

[Amanda]

Why does she talk like that?

[Shane]

That's how she talks.

[Angela]

Yeah, that's it.

[Shane]

Vodka, coffee.

[Angela]

Give me a My. My Civic. Sonic. Where's my. I want to go through Drive Thru Sonic. God, this is such a bad impression.

[Amanda]

It's actually pretty good.

[Shane]

It's actually not bad.

[Amanda]

It's.

[Shane]

It's.

[Amanda]

You just want to have the jaw out.

[Angela]

Oh, yes, here it is. Here it is. Here's the jaw. Is this SARAH Christ or any one of other Amanda characters that are just deep down here?

[Amanda]

You both keep on doing this with your voice.

[Shane]

You don't do any characters with a high pitched voice.

[Amanda]

Yes, I do.

[Shane]

Who?

[Amanda]

The feminist woman.

[Shane]

Oh, that's true.

[Amanda]

That's why I have to vote. My name is Abigail Bunt and we walk around with a sign asking the president for change. Okay, we should tally because I think that we only have like.

[Shane]

Are we at yes. Oh, shit. Do we not have much time left?

[Amanda]

No.

[Shane]

All right.

[Angela]

Shit.

[Shane]

What's the tally?

[Amanda]

So Angela redeemed herself and is not last. But you and Amanda both have 36.

[Angela]

Shane has 31. Damn. He's cannot win again. He cannot win again. We have to do this together. Let's. Let's go together. Let's try something.

[Shane]

You only have like a couple minutes. And I mean. Okay, I feel like. I feel like as of right now, we can say.

[Angela]

That got him.

[Shane]

That didn't get me. That. That's not laugh. That's not laugh. That's respect.

[Angela]

That's not a lot. That's respect.

[Shane]

That's a lot.

[Angela]

You can't affect me socially.

[Shane]

That's respect. That's not a liar. That's respect.

[Angela]

Yeah, John Travolta in here.

[Amanda]

Spray.

[Angela]

Okay, Tracy, no. We're floundering.

[Shane]

That's not.

[Amanda]

Guys, I think Shane just has to take it.

[Shane]

Guys, I think I won again. Which means the gift card. I'm gonna. I'm gonna make it up to $60 for next time.

[Amanda]

Wait, what is this? Angela is a horse flirting with another horse. Amanda, what the hell? I don't know. I was having fun.

[Shane]

You've taken improv classes.

[Amanda]

I'm a horse.

[Shane]

Angela's laughing. More.

[Amanda]

I am a horse sucks.

[Angela]

I cannot. No, you cannot win again. You cannot win.

[Shane]

I have.

[Amanda]

So Shane won again, but he's decided to not take the gift card. He is going to double it to $60, and that means that we have another rematch. So write in the comments if you have any prompts that you want us to do to try to.

[Shane]

What should we laugh? Like, what should we do in the next. Try not to laugh. The podcast.

[Angela]

And, like, give me hints. What do I do to get Shane? Because now I'm, like, now I'm pissed. I'm officially pissed.

[Amanda]

Farts. And, bro, next time I'm just going.

[Angela]

To bring in, like, I don't even know. Send in the clowns.

[Shane]

You got to send in more clowns.

[Angela]

Don't worry. I was like, next time I'm gonna just, like, choreograph a whole fucking dance or something. I even.

[Shane]

Oh, God, that would get me. Yeah. It's a podcast. People are listening.

[Angela]

Shut the fuck up.

[Amanda]

Okay. Okay, guys, thank you so much for joining the TNTL rematch with Angela Puttanesca. Giordani Harding.

[Angela]

Harding.

[Shane]

That's right.

[Amanda]

We can't wait to hear from you again. Write in the comments. Anything else you want us to do on your rematch three.

[Shane]

That's right.

[Amanda]

I.

[Angela]

This is so fun.

[Shane]

Thank you, Angela.

[Amanda]

Thank you.

[Shane]

Blast with this. Yeah, next time it'll be $60. Just keeps on going up because I keep winning.

[Angela]

Give me hints in the comments.

[Shane]

No. All right, bye, guys. That recording is awesome. Here, one more time.

[Amanda]

Can't believe you recorded your.