#64 - Try Not To Laugh: The Podcast w/ Damien & Arasha

Summary

Smosh Mouth: Episode #64 - Try Not To Laugh: The Podcast with Damian & Arasha

Release Date: September 30, 2024

In Episode #64 of Smosh Mouth, titled "Try Not To Laugh: The Podcast with Damian & Arasha," hosts Shane Topp (referred to as Shane or "short") and Amanda Lehan-Canto (known as Arasha or "tall") team up with recurring guests Damian and Arasha for a hilariously challenging edition of their popular game: "Try Not To Laugh." This episode dives deep into the dynamics of their friendship, personal anecdotes, impressions, and the ever-entertaining attempts to keep a straight face amidst rapid-fire humor.

---

1. Setting the Stage: Introduction to the Challenge (00:24 - 10:25)

Shane kickstarts the episode by explaining the premise: initiating a "Try Not To Laugh" game with Damian and Arasha, both known for their resilience against laughter.

• Shane [00:43]: "I feel like you both are the hardest to break."

• Damian [01:15]: "We're very dry. I call this the dry goods."

To motivate participation, the group devises a unique prize system where each member contributes a $5 item into a "potluck." The winner gets to choose a gift from the collective pool, adding stakes to the competitive spirit.

---

2. Acting Classes: Sharing Personal Experiences (02:06 - 06:53)

A significant portion of the early conversation revolves around acting classes, with Shane sharing his mixed experiences and frustrations:

• Shane [04:06]: "Every acting coach is gonna tell you, don't do what that last acting coach said."

Damian opens up about his struggles in an acting class, highlighting how his neurodivergent thinking clashed with traditional acting techniques.

• Damian [05:02]: "I'm neurodivergent because his whole thing was like, you have to be thinking as the character."

Arasha expresses her desire for acting classes to focus more on the technical aspects of the profession, such as submitting auditions and self-taping.

---

3. Prize Potluck: Establishing the Stakes (08:07 - 10:14)

Before diving into the game, the hosts solidify the rules and prize contributions:

• Damian [09:14]: "Every time I've won something here, it's been like an Olive Garden gift card."

After humorous banter about past prizes, they agree to each contribute a $5 item, ensuring a fair and engaging competition.

---

4. The Game Begins: Jokes, Impersonations, and Skits (10:27 - 43:27)

As the "Try Not To Laugh" game commences, the conversation becomes a whirlwind of jokes, impersonations, and playful skits:

• Shane [10:30]: "Did you guys watch the Hawktua podcast? Talk to a."

The group discusses recent events like the VMAs, with Shane and Arasha praising performances by Chapel Roan and Sabrina Carpenter.

• Shane [10:33]: "I did see Chapel Roan's performance. That was awesome."

They transition into impersonating characters, including a mock scene from the Christmas movie "Spirited," showcasing their comedic timing and chemistry.

• Damian's Impression [11:31 - 12:00]:

  "Spirited interior, corporate office, Christmas time. Clint Briggs. Ryan Reynolds is typing furiously at his cubicle..."
  

Throughout the gameplay, the hosts perform various impressions, including Damian's take on a Japanese dub of SpongeBob, and Arasha's attempt at a recorder sound effect, eliciting genuine laughter and playful competition.

• Damian [33:22]: "Mushi mooshi bokawa. Patrick Da."

• Arasha [42:02]: Attempts a recorder sound, leading to uncontrollable laughter.

5. Personal Anecdotes and Inside Jokes (43:28 - 58:57)

Interwoven with the gameplay are personal stories and inside jokes that deepen the listeners' connection to the hosts:

• Shane [46:35]: Reflects on past roommate experiences with Damian, highlighting the camaraderie and unique living arrangements.

• Arasha [53:09]: Shares a childhood anecdote about introducing herself in a classroom in Hindi, adding a heartfelt touch to the episode.

The conversation also delves into linguistic humor, cultural references, and playful teasing, such as discussing Hindi versions of popular American TV shows.

• Arasha [57:31]: "I just have seen the Hindi versions. They will take, like, Disney Channel shows and basically just like, recast an Indian cast..."

6. Language and Cultural Discussions (58:00 - 59:45)

The hosts explore the concept of language adaptation in media, touching upon how Indian versions of shows like The Suite Life of Zack and Cody and Hannah Montana are reimagined for local audiences.

• Shane [58:15]: "They did do that here, though. They call it muzzy."

The discussion highlights the blend of humor and cultural insights, enriching the episode's depth.

---

7. Wrapping Up: Final Laughs and Announcements (59:46 - 63:05)

As the episode nears its conclusion, the hosts tally their laughs:

• Shane: "You laughed four times, loser."

• Damian: "Selena, what is. Tally had four laughs. You laughed four times, loser."

Despite the competitive edge, the atmosphere remains light-hearted and supportive. Damian announces his participation in MCC London Comic Con, inviting listeners to join the festivities.

• Damian [51:52]: "I took up. I've got an exorcism impression."

The episode wraps up with a humorous reflection on their performance, acknowledging Shane's win by a narrow margin.

• Shane [60:53]: "Damien pulling out with the win by one laugh."

---

8. Notable Quotes and Moments

• Shane [04:06]: "Every acting coach is gonna tell you, don't do what that last acting coach said."

• Damian [05:02]: Discussing neurodivergence in acting classes.

• Arasha [57:31]: On Hindi adaptations of TV shows.

• Shane [33:10]: Initiating the Japanese SpongeBob impression: "Can you give me, like, two seconds to just prepare for this?"

---

Conclusion

Episode #64 of Smosh Mouth masterfully balances humor with heartfelt conversations, offering listeners a glimpse into the hosts' personal lives and creative dynamics. Through shared stories, playful competitions, and genuine camaraderie, Shane, Arasha, Damian, and Arasha create an engaging and entertaining experience that resonates with both longtime fans and newcomers alike. Whether you're an avid listener or tuning in for the first time, this episode promises laughter, relatable moments, and the unique charm that defines Smosh Mouth.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Shane]

No purchase necessary. VGW Group void where prohibited by law 21/ Terms and Conditions apply. Welcome to Smosh Mouth. I'm Shane and I'm joined by Damian and Arasha.

[Arasha]

I'm Arasha.

[Damian]

And I'm Damian.

[Shane]

How's it going?

[Arasha]

It's good.

[Damian]

Yeah. Doing great, Shane. Happy to be here.

[Shane]

Yeah, fantastic.

[Arasha]

How are you?

[Shane]

I'm good. For those watching and listening, this will be our next Try not to Laugh podcast episode. We haven't begun the game yet. We'll begin in, like, five to ten minutes.

[Damian]

Oh, good. I can stop trying.

[Arasha]

Yeah.

[Shane]

But I decided to bring you both into this because I feel like you both are the hardest to break.

[Damian]

Yeah. Go team.

[Arasha]

We are strong.

[Damian]

We did sort of like check in in the kitchen this morning and talk about that a little bit where we're like, we didn't prepare anything, and also, like, we're very dry. I call this the dry goods.

[Arasha]

Yeah.

[Damian]

Open up the pantry.

[Arasha]

Get rid of the dry goods. In our family kitchen in this house that we all live in.

[Damian]

We're all best friends, you guys.

[Shane]

Yeah, we all live here.

[Arasha]

We live here. We met up in the kitchen this morning 10stor underground.

[Damian]

Spencer tucks us in at night, gives us forehead kisses. If we consent.

[Shane]

Yeah, right.

[Damian]

And that's it.

[Shane]

No, I think. I think this will be very interesting. And I don't want you guys to go easy on this. I want you to play for real.

[Damian]

Shane, it's 9:00am I feel like if we get you to laugh, it's the best we can do.

[Arasha]

Right?

[Shane]

Right.

[Arasha]

No, I'm feeling a lot of pressure.

[Shane]

Don't feel pressure.

[Arasha]

You know, I'm just here to talk about. To talk about life.

[Shane]

And that's the thing, man. I think sometimes these Try not to laugh podcasts, we get a little too, like, focus focused on telling jokes as opposed to just. Just relaxing, having a conversation, letting the jokes come out naturally, you know, like.

[Damian]

Yeah, you'd be a great acting teacher, Shane.

[Shane]

That, I think, is an insult. I was thinking the other day about how there's probably not an industry where most of them are insane.

[Damian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Than acting coaches. Is there any career where 99% are fully crazy?

[Damian]

I think mechanic. Mechanic. Because I saw. I saw. I want to give credit but I can't because I don't remember the name. But I saw a stand up the other day on TikTok as I was just scrolling through because, you know, that's what you do. What's up, Gen Z? And like he was just like mechanic is the last thing left where like everything is just about probably something. He's like, there's no list of prices. It's just like, what. What can you do? He's like, well, you need a new engine. Is probably anywhere from three to $10,000 today or a week. We'll see. And there's like list. And you just. Yeah. And I think that's.

[Arasha]

You're on to something.

[Damian]

Well, he is. I give him credit. Shout out in the comments.

[Arasha]

All right.

[Shane]

I don't know. Mechanics are. I don't think of them as crazy. Like there's some stereotypes about mechanics. I think it depends on what state you're in. Like a Boston mechanic.

[Damian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Or a California mechanic. Very different.

[Arasha]

A mechanic can be hot.

[Shane]

Yeah. But acting coaches can't.

[Arasha]

Right. That's the main difference here.

[Damian]

Not according to like everyone. In the last acting class I took.

[Shane]

Really?

[Damian]

I took an acting class for years and like the guy was just this. I don't know. There was nothing super descript about him. He was just like an adult. Like he wasn't daddy. He was a father, a guy, an adult. And like, apparently we had like a cast party and everyone was getting a little tipsy and like everyone in the class who was attracted to men was just like, oh yeah, him, anytime, anywhere. And I was like, fudgeing. Really?

[Arasha]

We're going to talk after this podcast so you can tell me about this class.

[Damian]

I don't think I will, but thank you though.

[Arasha]

I want to know.

[Damian]

Okay, I'll give you the info.

[Arasha]

I just want to know who the teacher is so we can google it and see if he's hot.

[Damian]

It's. He's just. He's just a guy. Think of a guy. Just think of a guy.

[Arasha]

I. Okay, he's hot.

[Damian]

Yeah. Now imagine dragons.

[Arasha]

Yeah, that's pretty cool too.

[Shane]

I feel like. I don't know. I have a lot of opinions about acting classes because I went to so many for so long and I do think acting class is very important because it's just important to practice. But there's so many acting classes that I was in where I was like, this coach has no idea what they're doing. Some of them I'm like, I'm learning because we're doing it.

[Damian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

But not because of what you're saying.

[Damian]

Right.

[Shane]

You're saying random shit.

[Arasha]

Interesting.

[Damian]

I. My acting class, the one that I was referring to before, was like, the reason I started to realize that I think a little bit differently. And ultimately I'm neurodivergent because his whole thing was like, you have to be thinking as the character. Think your thoughts. Like, what are you thinking in this moment? And I'm like, I'm thinking like nine different things. And some are as the character, but then others are like, you know, did the orange color or did the tree come first? And it was the fruit. But like, it's. It's all these things. And he's like, well, no, think as the character. I'm like, does everybody not think like a shotgun spray of thoughts all the time? And I was like, oh, interesting.

[Shane]

But you probably could find an acting coach that would teach in a way that would accommodate how you're thinking.

[Arasha]

Yeah, maybe.

[Shane]

I feel like there's different styles because there's. There were the styles where it's like, pull from your real life. And then my. One of the acting coaches I went to was like, no, that. Never do that. I was like, okay, yeah, yeah. And so after a few acting classes, I feel like you learn. Every acting coach is gonna tell you, don't do what that last acting coach said.

[Damian]

Yeah, they're an idiot.

[Shane]

Truly. Truly. And one of the acting coaches I had who I did really like because it was very like film, TV based, but we would get new students who were like, fresh out of, like, theater school or like, like learning theater. And he would always just be like, God, we gotta. We have to like, deconstruct everything, you know?

[Arasha]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Even though it's not wrong for the medium that they're doing, it's not bad. It's just different. So fascinating, but frustrating.

[Arasha]

I think my issue with classes is that there's this big focus on technique and the craft, which is of course important. But I wish that there was more of an emphasis placed on the technicalities of acting. Like the business of acting teach people how to submit and how to light themselves for an audition. Now that we have self tape stuff like that.

[Shane]

I got really lucky in that way that in Arizona, when I first got into acting, it was like, oh, I was getting to theater, community theater. And I did one play and then one of the other actors in that play was like, oh, I go to this acting class, you should come with me. And I go thinking it'll be like, oh, like acting class for like theater. And they were teaching like audition technique. They had a camera set up and you were learning how to act in front of a camera and give eyelines to that camera and all that stuff. So that's kind of immediately what I got into by pure accident. You time the same and it helped me when I came out to la. Like auditions weren't crazy. Cause this acting class always had a camera there. It's pretty awesome.

[Arasha]

Yeah, really helpful.

[Shane]

It was super helpful. Helpful.

[Damian]

Absolutely.

[Shane]

Completely different ballpark.

[Arasha]

Yeah, yeah, super different.

[Damian]

I think that's the benefit of growing up in one of those like third tier markets, like, oh, Atlanta. Oh, like Arizona. Oh, you know, Texas. Because it's always like, you start out in community theater, but there's that one parent where it's like, well, you know, we're taking Becky Ann up to the Acting Acting Actors Studio up in such and such town. And then that's like all it takes for you to break in. Also, I have a challenge for everybody out there real quick. I painted my nails literally right before we started filming, thinking I would have time and I didn't. And so I've already tracked some onto my ear and on a part of my hand and I wiped it off, but I'm not seeing anything I didn't notice. My thought is that during this, at some point I am going to wipe something on something and I want you to point it out in the comments.

[Shane]

Well, if it makes us laugh, then it's good.

[Arasha]

Yeah. What if I just grab some and put it on your face?

[Damian]

Do it, but do it under my eyes. Then we'll be like Gridiron Gang.

[Shane]

Nice.

[Damian]

I never saw that. Yeah.

[Shane]

Wayne the Rock Johnson.

[Damian]

I know. You're 19 years old.

[Arasha]

I'm 16.

[Damian]

That's okay.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Damian]

Happy birthday.

[Arasha]

Well, thank you.

[Damian]

You can draft. You can vote illegally now. Sixteen, man.

[Shane]

You should. All right, I got that laugh out.

[Arasha]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just letting it out. I'm just. I actually, I wasn't laughing. I was just having fun.

[Shane]

Are you guys ready to begin? Do you want to get this started?

[Arasha]

Sure.

[Damian]

I kind of wish we went back to acting technique, but. Okay.

[Shane]

I mean, we could go back to talking about acting.

[Arasha]

No.

[Shane]

Be funny.

[Damian]

No, no.

[Shane]

All right.

[Damian]

The moment someone talked about my nail polish.

[Shane]

All right, are we ready to begin?

[Arasha]

Let's begin.

[Shane]

Look, we haven't agreed on what the prize is, but I don think it matters. I think we all care about honor here. We all care about our pride. What's the price and our ability, Troy, Maybe we can talk afterwards. Maybe. Maybe a $20 will get thrown on this table. Who knows?

[Damian]

So last time I won.

[Shane]

We don't know. We can't legally. Smosh. Can't do anything. But I personally, Shane, maybe I've been.

[Arasha]

Paid before when I win Games, videos.

[Damian]

Yeah, because they really.

[Arasha]

Alex pays me because they can't. That's not a joke. That's not a joke. I'm not kidding.

[Shane]

I think that's fresh out of his pocket.

[Arasha]

Oh, absolutely. It is. He's like, hey, I'll bet you like 10 bucks you won't win. And then he'll be like, I'm a man of my word.

[Damian]

Honestly, we don't talk about this enough. Alex is rich, you guys.

[Arasha]

That is rich. Oh, oh, I forgot that we're starting.

[Shane]

No, we haven't started. We didn't. I think. I think we didn't because we didn't officially all agree that we're beginning.

[Damian]

This is the thing. Every time I've won something here, it's been like an Olive Garden gift card. And as in Italian, I can't go there.

[Arasha]

You're Italian?

[Damian]

Yeah, Italian, German. Sorry.

[Arasha]

It was a gasp.

[Damian]

I know. So I can't go there. And then, like, last time I won something on, like a stage on a streamed thing that Angela set me up on, they gave me a Dick's sporting goods thing. And I'm like, look at me. So, you know, there's nothing I can. I just. I need something that. Like a steam gift card. Hatsune Miku, anything. Okay, like, let's.

[Arasha]

Let's all. How about we all put something into the potluck?

[Damian]

Okay?

[Arasha]

That's what you call something that everybody.

[Shane]

We just all agree that we're going to put something worth $5 into the. Into the potluck at the end of this.

[Arasha]

Okay.

[Shane]

We'll decide afterwards. Maybe we can talk about it. Post in the comments something.

[Damian]

I love doing my, like, little treasure hunts at, like, estate sales and stuff. I will find something, $5 or less. And I will find something specifically for the winner that I think they will like.

[Arasha]

I have a hair tie in my pocket that has some of my hair still on it.

[Damian]

Let's put a pin in it.

[Arasha]

Does that count?

[Shane]

Worth $5?

[Arasha]

Let me put it online and tell you how much it might be worth it.

[Shane]

Okay, fine. Whoever wins, the other two owe them a gift that is worth $5.

[Damian]

Great.

[Arasha]

Deal.

[Shane]

Great. All right. Shall we Begin.

[Arasha]

You guys did it.

[Shane]

Beginning now.

[Arasha]

Beginning now. So did you guys watch the VMAs last night?

[Damian]

Hell, no.

[Shane]

I did see Chapel Roan's performance. That was awesome. That reminded me. You may not remember this, but back in, like, the early 2000s, performances used to be like that. They were just insane.

[Arasha]

Huge. They were all pretty.

[Shane]

And I realized Beyonce's been doing it the entire time, but to have, like, other people doing it is kind of shocking.

[Arasha]

I liked. I liked Sabrina Carpenter's performance.

[Shane]

That was also good.

[Arasha]

Huge.

[Shane]

They're full on pop stars.

[Arasha]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane]

Very cool.

[Arasha]

I'm enjoying it.

[Shane]

But they're, like opposites in ways.

[Arasha]

Sabrina and Chapel.

[Shane]

Yeah, in. In cool ways. Dark and light.

[Arasha]

Ooh.

[Damian]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Now we're getting into what I like.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Damian]

Talk about that.

[Shane]

You like Chapel Roan. You would love Chapel.

[Damian]

I do, actually. I listen to Chapel Roan. I'm not. I'm about to be that guy. But a few years back, before Chapel Roan was super well known, I was dating someone that was a fan, and they were like, listen to this. You know, music. Listen to this music. And I. So I liked a couple of the songs, like Pink Pony Club.

[Arasha]

So you wrote for Chapel Roan.

[Damian]

I did. Well, I actually met Chapel Roan when I was your age 16, when you go to. Because I went to homecoming, and there was, like, a couple of them there. Some of the parents were acting as Chapel rounds, and they made sure that we were not getting into trouble.

[Arasha]

How could you look into my eyes and see?

[Shane]

That was smooth.

[Damian]

Thank you.

[Shane]

That was smooth.

[Damian]

Thank you.

[Shane]

That's the thing with Damian is, like, you won't realize he's been planning something for, like, five sentences.

[Arasha]

Right, Right. While he's sneaky.

[Damian]

You guys will see it on the video. When you guys were like, VMAs Chapel Ron. I was like, I just literally looked back and forth between you.

[Arasha]

Like, you started cooking.

[Shane]

You got this.

[Damian]

All right, well, no, it's just. I don't know. I don't watch award shows.

[Shane]

Something as exciting as the VMAs that I've been probably most focused on. Have you guys watched the Hawktua podcast? Talk to a. Literally. I'm actually not joking. It is called talktua.

[Damian]

Wait, really?

[Shane]

It is called Talktua.

[Arasha]

That's a creative, smart name.

[Shane]

Yeah, it is called Talktua. I watched it. I don't remember any.

[Damian]

Is it Hawktua girl, like, having some kind of monetized way to capitalize on like, that?

[Shane]

Yeah. At one point. I'm not actually kidding. She does give an Instructional on how to say spit on that thing.

[Arasha]

So she's an acting teacher for Hawk.

[Shane]

Specifically the phrase Hawk Tua.

[Arasha]

I see.

[Damian]

That's. I don't. I think she's missed core concept of what people were interested in. And instruction wise, you know, spitting on that thing.

[Shane]

I know.

[Arasha]

On what thing?

[Damian]

The hot dog of the person. The. It shoots out like at the bottom of your tummy sometimes for some people.

[Arasha]

I'm breathing so differently than I normally do.

[Damian]

That's called Lamaze.

[Arasha]

Yeah. No, I needed that. I needed that exhale.

[Shane]

Oh, man. Anyways, no, I actually, I lied. I did not watch the talk to a podcast. But it is a real thing that exists.

[Arasha]

Is it just.

[Shane]

I know. Actually kind of breaking for a second. I want to know in the comments below how mad would people be if we brought Huck to a girl on Smosh Mouth. I just. I'm just curious. I just want to gauge. It's not happening. There's no. There's no cogs turning or.

[Arasha]

People would love it.

[Shane]

You think they'd like it?

[Arasha]

Gosh, yeah.

[Shane]

I feel like our audience. I don't know if our audience would be like, come on.

[Damian]

I think they'd appreciate the novelty of it.

[Arasha]

Maybe if we don't like, highlight her. But it's like Mario Kart with Hawk to A.

[Shane]

That'd be funny.

[Arasha]

You know, so it's like she's just like in a games video or like.

[Shane]

Moosemaster with Hawk to a girl. Yeah, it's like after when you pull a card, you have to hawk to A. Spit on that thing.

[Arasha]

Try not to laugh. Hawk to A.

[Shane]

That'd be funny, right? Okay.

[Arasha]

Hawk to A says, I think it's.

[Shane]

Really hot in here.

[Arasha]

Yeah, no, go for a cover up.

[Damian]

What? Silly shirt. What fresh hell awaits me?

[Arasha]

Does that say, sorry, I just gotta.

[Damian]

Does that say dilf?

[Shane]

God, that was such a good parry.

[Damian]

Sorry, I gotta do a little repost.

[Shane]

This is.

[Arasha]

Is that defy?

[Shane]

This is an old Defy shirt. Found it.

[Damian]

Amazing.

[Shane]

It's made out of that material that I hate.

[Arasha]

That, like, soft cotton that everything was.

[Shane]

Made out of for like five years.

[Damian]

It's better than like ultra cotton. Like, they're like heavy, real cotton. And you're like, great. It's a cardboard heavy shirt.

[Arasha]

Oh, I kind of like the heavy cardboard.

[Shane]

Every shirt. You'd go anywhere and they'd be like, here's a free shirt.

[Damian]

And it was made out of this.

[Arasha]

It's made out of like, let me sweat through that the second I put it on.

[Damian]

As somebody that's already sweating just to live. I'm a big fan. Is that you've been working out? You look so good. Is that a small?

[Shane]

I don't know. I think it's a medium. I think it's a medium. I can't see.

[Arasha]

Want me to peek? Want me to peek?

[Damian]

Wouldn't it be crazy if something was written there?

[Arasha]

It's a large.

[Shane]

It's a large. Wow. Beast man shirts are very light.

[Damian]

Ching Ping. Shane. Big Shane. Big Shane. Reed.

[Shane]

Shane. Defy M asshole. Me.

[Arasha]

Why is this like that?

[Damian]

What do you mean?

[Arasha]

Like, why does that look like that? Why can I only make out the D and, like, kind of the F?

[Shane]

Well, Defy was a bad company.

[Arasha]

I see.

[Shane]

They made bad decisions.

[Arasha]

Gotcha.

[Shane]

So even their design of their logo was kind of bad.

[Arasha]

Oh, wait. Now I see it.

[Damian]

Yeah, you get it. It's about the letters that aren't there. And it's about the money they didn't have.

[Shane]

I see the. It's the money that you didn't make along the way.

[Damian]

What's up?

[Arasha]

No, you go.

[Damian]

I was about to say it's the missing letters in between a bunch of white. The white represents cocaine that I'm pretty sure a couple of the owners were on. Allegedly. From me, definitely.

[Arasha]

Are you guys allowed to, like, speak about Defy the way that you speak about it? Like, is there anybody still who's gonna sue you? Is there anybody at Defy that you guys are scared of?

[Damian]

I could beat up Keith easily.

[Arasha]

Keith is still at Defy.

[Damian]

He was.

[Shane]

Keith does. When he's not working on Smosh videos, he goes back to the old building.

[Arasha]

The Defy house.

[Shane]

Yeah, the Defy house. He just chills there.

[Arasha]

I see.

[Damian]

I could beat up who else is around? I don't know. Bleep these names.

[Shane]

You're not even naming the corporate people. You're just naming people. We've worked well.

[Damian]

There's the ones I'm actually scared of. They got big money.

[Shane]

Oh, a guy who looked just like me.

[Damian]

Yeah.

[Arasha]

I thought you were gonna say me.

[Shane]

That'd be funny.

[Arasha]

A guy who looked like me.

[Shane]

That was a Rasha. Wouldn't it be funny if you just revealed at some point, you're like, I was actually at Defy the whole time.

[Arasha]

It's me.

[Shane]

It was me.

[Arasha]

I feel like I. As much as I love a long con, I don't know if I'd be able to hold on to it that long.

[Damian]

Really?

[Arasha]

I would have revealed it a while ago.

[Shane]

Wow.

[Arasha]

But to reveal it on, like, not that Smoshmouth is small, but to reveal it on, like, a very, like, quick one off Smoshmouth episode, you kind of.

[Shane]

Iconic whole episode about this con that. Yeah.

[Arasha]

You think that that's what I want.

[Shane]

Do you have any cons that you're pulling off right now? Like, currently. Any long cons that we should just. You don't have to say what it is, but for the fans. Are you currently in the process of pulling off something?

[Arasha]

Well, there's that one that you and I are working on.

[Shane]

Right. I remember, Shane. Yeah.

[Damian]

It's not just yes, it's yes.

[Arasha]

And Shane, we've been meeting.

[Shane]

Yes.

[Arasha]

About this.

[Shane]

I know. Well, I'm not gonna talk about it here.

[Arasha]

Well, it's gonna be revealed on November 4th.

[Shane]

God damn it.

[Arasha]

I knew it.

[Shane]

I knew it. As soon as we started.

[Arasha]

So just keep it together.

[Shane]

Fuck. We unfortunately have an episode that's releasing that day and I'm just like, making predictions.

[Damian]

Fuck. Lean into it. Just lean into it.

[Arasha]

Okay. I predict from Defy is gonna come out of left field, take the election.

[Shane]

Okay. So actually we just got confirmation that the fifth is. I think that's how it's always been.

[Arasha]

And you know what? That's good. No, that's good.

[Damian]

Did they move it?

[Shane]

I think they moved it.

[Arasha]

It's good, actually. So then Archon can come out and then other less important news will come out.

[Shane]

Yes.

[Damian]

I think Kamala had a thing on the fourth, if I remember correctly.

[Arasha]

Right, right, right.

[Shane]

Yes.

[Arasha]

With her kid.

[Damian]

With her kid. Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Arasha]

Right.

[Damian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Cool model. Her kid, I believe, is a cool, like, awesome.

[Damian]

You know, at the beginning of the.

[Shane]

Jetsons where she's an adult, her kid.

[Arasha]

Is a cool model.

[Shane]

I'm not kidding. Conservatives have been trying to dunk on her. And it's like, you just keep showing photos of this, like, cool model person. What?

[Arasha]

Just the way that you're like, her kid's a cool model.

[Shane]

They are.

[Damian]

They're like, it sounds like English is not your first language and you're trying to fit in super well. You're like, oh, they're like a cool model, you guys. Yes, I want to be like a cool. I want to totally, like, break dance in clubs, have sex on someone. It's going to be crazy.

[Shane]

Did you ever do that? That simulation where you try to get into that club, that exclusive club?

[Damian]

Oh, I thought.

[Shane]

Sorry.

[Damian]

Going from that, I thought you were.

[Shane]

Talking about there's a real thing. There's a website, and because there's this super exclusive club in, like, I don't know, it's in like Germany or somewhere in Europe. Right. And to get in you have to like say a specific series of phrases and stuff. And it's like super exclusive. But online you can go through a simulation to see if you can get into the club. And you have. It's just. It's like. It plays out in real time. It's like real people and it goes through this video and you have to answer questions in sequence. And we did it a bunch and we never got in.

[Damian]

Really?

[Shane]

Yes.

[Damian]

How were you dressed? Well, it's club attire or what?

[Shane]

Yeah, I was wearing a full. Full Puma tracksuit and I still wasn't let in.

[Damian]

Did you smell like Aqua Velva?

[Shane]

No. So that's my problem.

[Arasha]

Damn.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Shane]

No purchase necessary VGW Group Void where prohibited by law 21 + terms and conditions apply. I'm change it up for a bit.

[Arasha]

Okay.

[Shane]

Arasha, you were in a Christmas movie a little bit ago called Spirited.

[Arasha]

Yeah.

[Damian]

Oh, the horse.

[Shane]

Yeah. This is a sequel. Spirited.

[Damian]

Yeah. The hot horse.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Arasha]

What's with eyebrows? What does that mean?

[Damian]

Dreamworks movie. The Hot with a hot horse.

[Shane]

Yeah. Spirit. And then the sequel. Spirited.

[Arasha]

Right, sure. Yes. And right.

[Shane]

Anyways, you were in this movie. It had Ryan Reynolds and Will Ferrell in it and you played a role of co worker in it.

[Damian]

What was their name?

[Arasha]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shane]

Anyways, I thought it was interesting, you know, So I did some research and I actually found the sides for the audition for this role.

[Arasha]

And I. I'm gonna kill you.

[Shane]

I thought it'd be fun.

[Damian]

I hope.

[Arasha]

For the record, I was actually a stand in. I got bumped one day at a co worker.

[Shane]

That'd be awesome.

[Damian]

That's great.

[Arasha]

Let's just put that out there for the record.

[Shane]

So.

[Arasha]

Okay, this isn't fair.

[Shane]

So this is double sided. So we'll turn the page at one point. But Damian, can you read stage direction and also be the line at the end?

[Damian]

Line at the end. Why? Why? That's the lead.

[Shane]

And then Arasha, can you be co worker and I'll play the other role?

[Damian]

Of course.

[Shane]

Anyways, so just to be Clear.

[Arasha]

I'm co worker.

[Shane]

You are co worker.

[Arasha]

Got it.

[Shane]

Which is your role, right, that you booked? So you nailed this Anyways, Damian, take it away.

[Damian]

Spirited interior, corporate office, Christmas time. Clint Briggs. Ryan Reynolds is typing furiously at his cubicle. He doesn't believe in the magic of Christmas. Just then, co worker of Rashalalani, who is super forgettable, approaches.

[Arasha]

Hey, Clint, are you going to the holiday party this Friday?

[Damian]

Clint looks at co worker, confused.

[Shane]

I'm sorry, have we met?

[Damian]

Co worker looks around, confused.

[Arasha]

Um, yes.

[Shane]

No, sorry, this isn't the script. I've never met you in my life.

[Arasha]

Ryan. I've introduced myself about a dozen times.

[Shane]

It's truly incredible.

[Arasha]

You're kind of a piece of shit.

[Shane]

Have you met my wife?

[Arasha]

No.

[Shane]

I own a soccer team.

[Arasha]

Cool.

[Shane]

Who are you?

[Arasha]

Are you serious?

[Damian]

The director, Stanley Cumbrick, stands and applauds. Cut. We got it. That's a wrap. The entire crew files into a truck and then drives into a swamp.

[Shane]

I think there's a ink mark on this. Do you mind reading that really quick? Damian? The diagonal.

[Damian]

Pepper.

[Shane]

God, stone cold.

[Arasha]

What does that mean? What is pepper?

[Damian]

It's from the defy days when we ate a bunch of pepper.

[Shane]

Actually, it wasn't.

[Damian]

Okay, so it's yes and.

[Shane]

Right. It was from the defy days when we ate a bunch of pepper.

[Damian]

No, it wasn't, you fucking idiot. Damn it.

[Arasha]

From the defy kitchen.

[Shane]

Anyways, Arasha.

[Damian]

Isn't that crazy?

[Arasha]

This is so crazy. This is like exactly what happened on set. Yeah, yeah. No, this is tough.

[Shane]

Does it bring back memories?

[Arasha]

It absolutely does. Cause, you know, I was very excited the day that I was bumped, right? They were like, oh, we need. We need somebody in the scene. And there was like.

[Damian]

They were like, it could be anyone. It could be literally anyone, right? Anyone. Does anyone want to do it? Anyone? Guys? Anyone? Anyone? Anyone?

[Arasha]

And then they were like, how about this beautiful, very talented stand in that?

[Damian]

She was busy as fuck, so she moved out of the way.

[Arasha]

And then they were like, how about the beautiful and talented of Russia? And I said, yes.

[Shane]

Arasha Banks. No, never mind. I was like, if there was another person named Arasha, I'm screwed, man.

[Damian]

I see. The thing is all of these things are funny. I'm just broken.

[Arasha]

Exactly. No, exactly. I'm trying to win.

[Damian]

That's really.

[Arasha]

Otherwise we'd be having more fun.

[Damian]

I'm really glad I've realized this, like 7ish years into my smosh career. It's really about, like, you know, when you think about the comedy of the episode. It is more about winning. Like, yes, I could laugh and we could all have a great time, and I could just let myself go. But five bucks is five bucks, which is what I said when Ian cast me.

[Arasha]

It's five bucks each, actually.

[Shane]

So a $15 total winner, which is. Oh, with taxes, it's gonna definitely come down to, like, five.

[Arasha]

475.

[Shane]

Yeah. 475.

[Damian]

And think about that on November 5th.

[Shane]

Fuck. Fuck, man. God damn. I am fighting for my life here, and I am losing bad right now.

[Arasha]

It's really a struggle. I feel like I'm just not breathing a little bit.

[Damian]

Oh, you gotta breathe a little bit.

[Arasha]

No.

[Damian]

Okay. And that's how. See how I respected those boundaries when Arasha was just like, I'm not gonna breathe. And I was like, okay.

[Shane]

It was very, very cool of you, man.

[Damian]

You sounded a little bit like if south park was doing Deadpool.

[Shane]

Yeah, no, I don't really have a Ryan Reynolds impression. It's just like a little bit of. Basically, all I can say sometimes is, great, great.

[Arasha]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember on the first day, I think I might have told this story, but on the first day of set, he, like, came over and he was, like, tall. Like, like every stand in everyone. He was like, first day. And that's kind of how he talked to us, like, all the time.

[Damian]

Like, you're not over.

[Arasha]

And he was like, I'm Ryan. Hey, I'm Ryan. It's kind of like, wow. Yeah.

[Shane]

So he's committed.

[Arasha]

I mean, it was definitely kind. It's definitely a nice thing.

[Damian]

Yeah.

[Arasha]

To introduce yourself, even if it does feel, like, weird in a sense. But I'm sure he's also like, it's weird, but I'm pushing past the weird, you know?

[Damian]

Yeah.

[Arasha]

Can you do an impression of Damien and I actually.

[Damian]

That'd be great. I'd love that.

[Shane]

Okay, here's my impression of Arasha. Here we go. So it's probably something like, sure, I can.

[Damian]

That's actually really good.

[Arasha]

Yeah, it's pretty good. That's some crazy side eye good.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Arasha]

Maybe show a side to me that the camera doesn't know. I don't do that.

[Shane]

You do that all the time.

[Damian]

You do do that.

[Arasha]

I don't do. Do that.

[Shane]

Whenever you ask a question that you don't understand.

[Damian]

And you do it when you sleep. For sure.

[Shane]

Yeah. If you. If you. If you.

[Arasha]

Well, that's. Cause our beds are right next to.

[Damian]

Each other because we live in the same house.

[Shane]

We have a bunch of hammers on the ceiling. Of this studio.

[Damian]

I do have that dream all the time. Where I can fly. No, where it's where it is, like, with the same vibe of like, oh, you're back in high school and blah, blah, blah. It's like, I'll be in a big ass house and then there'll be like, all these different rooms and I'll be like, oh, we all, like, live here now. Like, this is Shane's room and this is whatever. But, like, then I'll open up the door and I'll be like, oh, my room is like, way too small or, like, kind of removed. Like, I don't want to rock the boat. But, like, it's this whole. It's like all the stress of moving in with roommates that you also work with.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Damian]

And then so my con is, I will be attending MCM London Comic Con at the end of October. Feel free to come on down. That's the con I've been working on.

[Shane]

That's pretty cool. You can. You can walk up to Damian, experience all this shit.

[Damian]

Yeah. Or just, you know, take a selfie.

[Arasha]

Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's do Damien next. Let's do Damien.

[Damian]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane]

Do you have a Damien impression?

[Damian]

How hard can you blink?

[Arasha]

I don't know. I feel like I have Shane's ready, actually.

[Shane]

Oh, okay. Let's see.

[Arasha]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Let me.

[Arasha]

Let me maybe do Shane. Let me maybe do Shane. Okay, hear me out. Now, this is a very specific Shane. This is the Shane that's like, this is the Shane. When Shane is like, this is a shame that. When Shane is like, this is the Shane. Like, that's like. That's like. That's like, Give me a break. He's like. He's like being a character for a second. He'll. He'll make this face.

[Damian]

He'll be like, that's true. He's like.

[Arasha]

He's like, yeah, I guess I can. You know what I mean? Yeah. That one. That one. That guy.

[Shane]

I'm not doing a character, though. This is me, Right?

[Arasha]

That's why I was struggling to describe.

[Shane]

It because it's about Dumpster Wizard.

[Arasha]

Is that who I look like?

[Shane]

Well, the eye has got to be way more messed up.

[Damian]

You do the DreamWorks poster. One eyebrow where you just look at the front of the camera and you're just like, yeah, this is Madagascar.

[Arasha]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's Shane coming on set. He's like.

[Damian]

Okay.

[Arasha]

Okay.

[Shane]

Wow. That's. Well, that's a. That's a fine. I guess that's an okay energy to be. Yeah.

[Damian]

Yeah, it's not bad at all.

[Arasha]

And then Shane's walking around, he's like, sup, dude? Hey.

[Damian]

Sup?

[Arasha]

How was your weekend?

[Shane]

That's just an impression of a guy.

[Arasha]

Awesome. Yeah, awesome.

[Damian]

You're, you know, Raja just.

[Arasha]

What? Yeah, I'll take a water.

[Damian]

Yeah, that's so good. Like normal human phrases. No, this is some.

[Shane]

Shane is normal human phrases. Yeah, I'll take a water. How's it going?

[Arasha]

But it's the way that you're saying.

[Damian]

I agree.

[Arasha]

Look at. The whole room is with me. Everybody's like, that's Shane. Everyone's like, shane.

[Damian]

Because, like, that's. That's something I definitely wouldn't have picked up on. But that's so true. Where it's not like, do you want a water? Sure. It's like, it's always like, I've micro considered it and am delivering my answer. It's like, yeah, I'll take a water. You know, actually, you know what? I could go for a nice glass.

[Shane]

Of like, I'm in a Samuel Adams commercial. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, I think I'll take a water.

[Damian]

I think I'll take a bottle of moist.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Arasha]

Trying to think. What else do you say to me? Like, you can go in front of me if you want. Yeah.

[Shane]

What are we doing?

[Arasha]

I think it's. I think it's P F Chang's for lunch today.

[Shane]

It actually is. It.

[Arasha]

It actually is.

[Damian]

Yeah. I've been reading Kafka on the Shore, and. Yeah, it's crazy. They talk about like. I don't know. It's just like. They talk about, like. Yeah, I don't know.

[Shane]

That's when you found out that I never read a book in my life.

[Damian]

Yeah.

[Arasha]

Yeah. I don't know. I'm not seeing. I'm not seeing Shane in your impression.

[Damian]

Oh, I'm just being an asshole.

[Arasha]

Oh, I see. I see.

[Shane]

Got it.

[Arasha]

Me too.

[Damian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

There's tons of Damianisms.

[Damian]

Blink so hard.

[Shane]

No, the blinking is never something I've thought.

[Arasha]

No, that's too easy. I. I feel I have more Shane in me. I have more like, Shane. Shane guesses his.

[Shane]

Yeah, he's like, all right. Yeah. No, let's keep going with this. This is awesome.

[Arasha]

This is awesome.

[Shane]

You're just saying things.

[Arasha]

This is all.

[Shane]

This is not an impression. You're just saying, welcome back.

[Arasha]

So I'm Shane. I just feel. I become him. I just feel like he's like, right here.

[Damian]

You know what? It is, too. The one thing I notice, you like, experiencing new things, but, like, going Full force into them. And they are like, just normal dude isms. But, like, you enjoy, like, the nuance of them. So just be, like. Been buying a lot of chinos. I wear chinos now. Yeah, I've been pairing them with. Been pairing them with Sperry's shoes. Sperry's in 2005.

[Arasha]

Yeah, yeah. I listened to Chapel Roan. She's huge now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Shane]

I don't know how I feel about any of this. That is transpiring.

[Damian]

Okay, well, it's you. Here's the one thing I prepared before. Try not to laugh, okay? It's another impression. Okay, this is spongebob, but the Japanese language dub version.

[Shane]

Can you give me, like, two seconds to just prepare for this? The title was a lot rash. You need to brace yourself. This is gonna be insane. All right, I'm not gonna laugh at this. Damian, take it away.

[Damian]

Can one of you do a ringing phone sound, please?

[Shane]

Ring, ring, ring, ring.

[Damian]

Mushi mooshi bokawa. Patrick Da. Yeah, yeah. Patrick Des.

[Shane]

Ring, ring, ring, ring.

[Damian]

Mushi mooshi. Yeah, yeah. Patrick Dess. One more time, please.

[Arasha]

Ring, ring, ring.

[Damian]

Mushy mushi boku wa. Patrick.

[Shane]

I was prepared for you to do a spongebob.

[Damian]

That was. Well, that was. He was playing his clarinet and kissing a jellyfish right on its ass. Got it. Got it.

[Arasha]

Okay. I liked that. Well done. It was well done.

[Damian]

Wakari ma. Understand your accent.

[Arasha]

It's a. I forgot we're supposed to do fart stuff for Shane, too, for.

[Shane]

No. Yeah. That does remind me, though. You know, voiceover is very much Damien's bag.

[Damian]

Thank you.

[Shane]

But I've talked about this before. I tried to do voiceover for years, and I never booked a single thing. I don't even think I ever got a callback. Like, I was like, damn, this is not my bag. It's hard. It's a lot harder than I expected it to be. But I have some of my old auditions because I would just do them on my iPhone because I never. Which is probably part of the reason I never booked anything, is I never had the right equipment.

[Damian]

I offered for your birthday to get you a microphone. You were like, no. Instead, I'll quit.

[Shane]

Yeah, I see. Okay. Hold on.

[Arasha]

You're gonna play some old voiceover auditions?

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah. Hold on. Here. Here's one.

[Arasha]

Hi, Shane. Top five, Shane.

[Shane]

Top reading for soldier number three. Get out of there. Get out of there. Get out of there. Get down. Get down. Get down. These are grunts of pain. Oh.

[Arasha]

Oh.

[Damian]

Oh.

[Shane]

Oh. You shot me. Oh, you.

[Damian]

Ah.

[Shane]

You shot Me? Oh, you shot me. Oh, you shot me. Oh, you shot me. I look forward to hearing from you. I'm a big fan of Kingdom Hearts. That was for kingdom hearts.

[Arasha]

Wow.

[Damian]

3.

[Arasha]

You didn't book it.

[Damian]

Didn't book.

[Shane]

That was crazy. Well, they probably cut the roll.

[Arasha]

Yeah, it wasn't.

[Shane]

That's probably what happened.

[Damian]

Yeah. They didn't have any Mickey in there. No.

[Arasha]

So, listen, you might still hear back.

[Shane]

Yeah. When they bring that project back, I'll be definitely. Well, they made it. I don't know if you've played him.

[Arasha]

Maybe they'll make a sequel.

[Shane]

What do you think Kingdom Hearts is about?

[Damian]

Okay, here I go. All right, you guys are gonna want to dig a little bit of a sip of drink for this.

[Shane]

No, I want Arasha to tell me what? Kingdom Hearts.

[Damian]

Yeah, please.

[Shane]

Do you know of Kingdom Hearts?

[Arasha]

Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kingdom Hearts.

[Shane]

You are aware of the game?

[Arasha]

Yeah, it's about that.

[Shane]

Who are the characters in the game?

[Arasha]

Well, it's that Castle.

[Damian]

Mm.

[Shane]

Have you never heard of Kingdom hearts?

[Damian]

Rasha is 16 years old.

[Arasha]

Guys. I'm literally describing it right now. This is rude.

[Shane]

I guess that is crazy to think, like, Kingdom Hearts has not been much of a thing for a while. Like, mainstream.

[Damian]

Okay, are we doing this right here? Are we doing this right now? Shane?

[Shane]

I guess you're never gonna laugh again for the rest of the year.

[Damian]

I laughed once already.

[Shane]

Yeah, but I mean, once I say that Kingdom Hearts is no longer a thing, that's probably gonna be devastating.

[Damian]

Well, here's the thing, Shane. Spoiler alert. Kingdom Hearts is light. And how do you get to the power of light? The power of friendship? So if you're going to say that, that's not a thing. I think we're actually good here. I mean, when you think of, like, Aqua and Riku, who spent so much time in darkness to fight for the light, and Donald Duck is, up until Final Fantasy 16, canonically the strongest red mage in any Final fantasy property. And Goofy, straight up. You get what we're talking about?

[Arasha]

Yeah, yeah.

[Damian]

By a boulder.

[Arasha]

No, I'm just thinking about what I think about that.

[Damian]

That's a dumb thing to say. Go on.

[Arasha]

No, it's not.

[Damian]

Okay. See, Shane? Ciao. Rasha said, no, it's not. And I just immediately accepted it.

[Arasha]

You got to have more confidence in it.

[Shane]

What is Shane? Top reading for alien Grunt number 12.

[Damian]

It's not good. Pepper, Pepper.

[Shane]

Pepper.

[Damian]

Pepper.

[Arasha]

What is pepper?

[Damian]

So capsicum. Plant.

[Shane]

Fucking way. God damn.

[Arasha]

That was too quick. Holy shit.

[Shane]

What if that was all the buildup just for that joke. Oh, my God. That only counts as one laugh.

[Arasha]

I think. I think. I feel like I should get a point. Cause I alley ooped you.

[Shane]

No, you didn't.

[Damian]

Hey, thanks.

[Arasha]

You know, I told Damien what that plant was called before we started filming.

[Damian]

That's true.

[Shane]

Has larasha laughed a lot?

[Damian]

I. I laugh a lot, Shane.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Arasha]

I laughed.

[Damian]

I laughed and I listened.

[Arasha]

And I see your Damien impression now.

[Damian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Okay. I think some. Some Damien things is like. It's like, oh, that's good.

[Arasha]

That's like.

[Shane]

That's. There's that, like when he's gonna. When he. When you talk about. When you ask him a question, it's like, what do you think about, like, voiceover?

[Damian]

He's just like, oh, I do mess with.

[Shane]

Yeah, it's like a specific, like, shoulder tug. I don't really. You don't do it as much anymore. I think you've stopped.

[Damian]

I think I'm more comfortable in my own skin.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Damian]

Because I used to. Well, thank you. Because I used to be a leather craftsman and I would, like, find people and stitch them up and I'd make a people suit like a Buffalo Bill. And now I'm in my own skin. It's from Jeepers Creepers.

[Shane]

You know Jeepers Creepers, I turned my.

[Damian]

Friend into a lampshade from Kingdom Heart.

[Shane]

Yeah, it's the.

[Damian]

It's got the eyes and it's pans labyrinth.

[Shane]

He's like, yeah. No, we didn't just reference five different things in one sentence.

[Arasha]

Yeah, I don't. With you guys. Honestly. Sometimes you guys just talk and I'm just kind of tennis a little bit.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Arasha]

And it's just like. I don't know. I like, I zone out for a second, then I come back in.

[Shane]

Totally.

[Arasha]

And then I'm like, I know the general idea of what these two were saying. So now I just get to insert something. I don't know.

[Damian]

The VMAs aren't really my thing.

[Shane]

Yeah. No. I never understood it. More of a MTV Music Awards.

[Arasha]

It was the hardest thing to find it on.

[Shane]

I know.

[Arasha]

How'd you guys watch it? What'd you watch it on?

[Shane]

That's a secret.

[Arasha]

What?

[Shane]

What?

[Damian]

I had a friend hold up a yak back from the 90s and piecemeal run it over to me sound by sound.

[Shane]

That's pretty cool.

[Damian]

Thank you.

[Arasha]

That's crazy.

[Shane]

You know what I saw recently that I thought was really cool looking is they had a Bluetooth.

[Arasha]

Damien.

[Shane]

Bluetooth cassette player. I thought that was really cool.

[Damian]

And you're the exact market for that.

[Shane]

I know, because I think that sounds.

[Damian]

Like a huge waste of time.

[Arasha]

A cassette player.

[Damian]

You know what they did? They made a jalopy that can fly.

[Shane]

That would be okay. That actually would be cool.

[Damian]

It would be pretty sick, actually.

[Shane]

But I don't own a. I don't own a single cassette. And I saw it and I was like, that would be sick. And I'm like, what, am I going to start buying cassettes?

[Arasha]

They're not making cassettes anymore.

[Damian]

Well, okay.

[Shane]

Still find them in thrift stores.

[Damian]

If you're in New York and walking the street and someone asks if you like hip hop, they'll usually hand you a cassette. And then you have to pay them, right?

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Damian]

And the cassette is just a thinly veiled message of them begging for help. And if you'd listen. If you'd only just listen.

[Arasha]

You ever made a cassette for someone?

[Damian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Did you really?

[Damian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

You made a mix mixtape for someone back in the day?

[Damian]

No, not romantically, no.

[Arasha]

Just like bread.

[Damian]

When I was a little kid, I had, like, a recorder, and I was just like, welcome to the Damien show. And it was just me talking some bullshit.

[Shane]

Are you real? Are you dead serious?

[Damian]

I played it for someone and they were like, oh, this is. I don't want to listen to this anymore. And I was, yeah, for sure.

[Arasha]

Okay. You said recorder. And now this reminded me I have to do my impression of a recorder for you guys.

[Damian]

Okay, great.

[Shane]

Of a recorder.

[Arasha]

Of a recorder. Like the little.

[Shane]

The little.

[Arasha]

Yeah.

[Shane]

That you play.

[Arasha]

Music class, I'm gonna warn sound right now. This is gonna sound like death screeching until I eventually get there.

[Shane]

Okay?

[Arasha]

Okay, so let me get there. Let me find it. Let me find it.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Arasha]

Okay, here it comes. Ready? Okay, hold on, hold on. I might have to. I might have to be laying down, so we'll see if it comes out. Wait, I'm getting there. I'm getting there. I come here.

[Shane]

Crazy.

[Damian]

That's crazy.

[Shane]

I'm waiting for the mama bird to come in and, like, feed her worms.

[Arasha]

It can be better. It can be better.

[Damian]

No, it's. So I was about to say, like, giving hamsters cpr.

[Arasha]

Okay, Give me one more chance. Mary had a little lamb.

[Damian]

This is crazy.

[Arasha]

Mary had a little lamb. Okay, Mary. Okay.

[Shane]

Did you have to remember it?

[Arasha]

I'm not from America. What? Okay, hold on. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it.

[Damian]

I can see the cross buns now.

[Shane]

This is one of those exorcism movies.

[Damian]

I could do One of those.

[Shane]

Our audio listeners are. We're causing accidents.

[Arasha]

Okay, I think I have to lay down, you guys. Last time I was doing it, I was laying down.

[Damian]

Yeah. Rashi.

[Shane]

Sorry.

[Damian]

Look, that was a great six minutes.

[Shane]

But it was really fun.

[Arasha]

Cool, right?

[Damian]

I think that was actually good.

[Arasha]

Thank you.

[Shane]

When did you learn that you could do that and how.

[Arasha]

Recently.

[Shane]

What?

[Arasha]

A few weeks ago, I was making that sound, and then I turned it into Hot Cross Buns. And then I was like, oh, my God. This is like what we used to play in second grade in the music room. Unless you guys don't know that because you're like.

[Damian]

And they were like, thank you. I think we've got it. Next.

[Shane]

I was just about to do that joke. Yes. Of like, great, awesome. And then you were like, any notes? And they're like, none. That was great.

[Damian]

I think we found our co worker.

[Shane]

We'll be calling you. I can do walk out into a room full of people who look exactly like you, and you're like, great. I'm not special.

[Arasha]

Well, now I don't need the recorder. I just need to open my mouth eventually. Eventually get to that note, and then I can play.

[Damian]

Think of all the money you'll save on recorders.

[Shane]

Damien and I will do the rest of the podcast.

[Damian]

I've gotta. I've got an exorcism impression.

[Shane]

Oh, do the exorcism impression, man.

[Damian]

Okay. What do you want, like, a voice from beyond to say to you, oh.

[Shane]

You'Re doing a great job.

[Damian]

Great job, Shane. I love you. I miss how we used to.

[Shane]

Then I give you an inhaler.

[Damian]

Touch tips, touch tips, touch tips.

[Shane]

Okay. I just started listening to what you're saying, and it's shocking.

[Arasha]

That is haunting.

[Damian]

Talking is fun.

[Shane]

This does scare me because we are gonna go hunting for ghosts in the studio.

[Damian]

If you use all the ghost meat, it's fine. You have to use all the parts of the ghost. When is this happening?

[Arasha]

That's kinda like. That's also like the Lupita's voice from us.

[Damian]

Lupita Nyongo.

[Arasha]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know the voice that she does when she's like the.

[Damian]

It's Kevin the bird, Right?

[Shane]

She's badass. She's like.

[Arasha]

Once.

[Damian]

I swear to God, I thought.

[Shane]

Oh, that's a great RFK impression, Luda. I was chopping up a whale that I found at the beach, and, you know, that's what we would do.

[Arasha]

That is so you, Shane.

[Damian]

I. I played the game medieval when I was a kid, and he had the sidekick Worm come out of his eye, and I put one in my brain to have a little comedic sidekick. Anyways, I swear, I thought you meant up, and that's why I was like Kevin the Bird. Lupita Nyong'o. That's crazy.

[Arasha]

No, us.

[Damian]

Nope.

[Arasha]

Us. Us.

[Shane]

Nope.

[Arasha]

Jordan Moss.

[Damian]

Nope.

[Shane]

Anyways, Arasha, did you know that Damian and I were roommates at one point?

[Damian]

TOD Stips.

[Shane]

Okay, enough of that. Enough of that.

[Arasha]

I don't think I did know that. But we're all serious.

[Shane]

We're all roommates now, but in actuality, about, like, 10 years ago, Damian and I lived together in a house.

[Damian]

Angela was in our attic.

[Shane]

Apparently, a bunch of other roommates. But, yeah, we lived in a house. And it was crazy. We lived together for, like, a little.

[Arasha]

Over a year in the same room.

[Shane]

No, I was in this back house type of thing. But I actually. It was. It was a really fun experience, but it was interesting to live with so many people because we were. We were two of, like, five people living in this place.

[Damian]

A rotating cast of characters.

[Shane]

Exactly. But, you know, with so many people, we had to have certain rules and guidelines, and I actually found what Damien gave me on my first week.

[Arasha]

I knew this was.

[Shane]

He gave me a list of. Of rules and guidelines, so I forgot about this entirely. Yeah. Damien left this on my door, and it really helped. It really helped me fit in with everyone in the place. So, Damian, if you want to read what you wrote to me, Damian's rules.

[Arasha]

To you, to me. For living. For living in his back house.

[Shane]

Well, not his back house, but the house is. We were all root. To be, like, his new roommate. To be the new roommate in this house.

[Damian]

In so many words. Ned's declassified survival guy.

[Shane]

Exactly.

[Arasha]

Gotcha.

[Damian]

I already skimmed ahead a bit, and it made me almost chuckle. And I'm nervous, so good luck. Thank you. We were actually roommates, but this is also true. Wink.

[Arasha]

Okay. I'm not gonna believe anything.

[Damian]

We were roommates. Hey, Shane. So excited you're joining the house as our new roommate. I've listed below some guidelines that'll help you fit into our living situation, as well as some rules we've established for everyone in the house to follow. It's redundant. Number one, trash is to be taken out every Tuesday. Not capitalized. We cycle through. Who's responsible. So explain. Expect to do it every four weeks. Number two, the fridge has been divided into four kingdoms. You will take over the southern kingdom. But beware, raiders from the north have been growing more violent and greedy. Best to Build your defenses and grow your alliances with the west and Eastern kingdoms. Also not capitalized.

[Shane]

That's actually true.

[Arasha]

He's really helping with the voice.

[Damian]

Number three, our neighbor George, who is. Dammit. Who is likely a ghoul or phantom of some kind, will sometimes appear at the front window. Do no make eye contact with him lest you pay his toll. What's the toll? Toll. Lot of bullshit if you ask me. Toll. A lot of bullshit if you ask me.

[Arasha]

That's a good one.

[Damian]

Number four, the dirty hippies have been granted 15 parking spots. Them's the brakes.

[Shane]

That's real.

[Damian]

Number five, if you hear someone screaming at 5:00am that's me doing VO auditions.

[Shane]

That is also real.

[Damian]

I realized in horror how thin my walls were.

[Shane]

I lived in the back house so I could hear him in the house through our backyard.

[Damian]

Could you hear anything else?

[Shane]

No.

[Damian]

Okay.

[Arasha]

Ew.

[Damian]

I think, like, I meant sex, Arasha.

[Shane]

I think it's specifically 5am because there's not much sound going. There's not cars driving. There's not like. Yeah, sound pollution at that point.

[Arasha]

Right.

[Shane]

So I'd wake up and hear just like, you gotta, gotta stop doing that.

[Damian]

So you didn't book, that's why.

[Arasha]

Yeah, yeah. To be able to do your recorder impression on the fly on a mic.

[Shane]

Okay, continue.

[Arasha]

More rules?

[Damian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Oh, a lot of rules.

[Damian]

Number six, if we play N64, you get the sticky controller.

[Shane]

Also real.

[Damian]

One of.

[Shane]

Yeah, that's true. They were all sticky.

[Arasha]

Ew.

[Damian]

Number seven, I have a knife. Number eight, never open a cupboard unless you want it to. Unless you want it to break. Every cupboard is one time use only.

[Shane]

Also very.

[Damian]

I forgot about that.

[Shane]

Every cupboard was busted in this place. You would open it just like turn and just fall off.

[Arasha]

Where, where was it?

[Damian]

East Hollywood.

[Shane]

East Hollywood.

[Damian]

Well, the cupboard's in the kitchen.

[Shane]

The house was. The house was about a hundred years old.

[Damian]

So was George.

[Shane]

George was lit. George was also a real person.

[Damian]

George was a ripe age of 80 when he watched that house.

[Arasha]

Can't believe any of that. What's the watermark on this?

[Damian]

Oh, no. I almost brought this up to you. You.

[Arasha]

What's happening?

[Damian]

Ricky Gervais.

[Shane]

There it is.

[Damian]

Pepper.

[Arasha]

I I on the pepper. Just I don't know it.

[Damian]

Okay. German for pepper is Pfeffer. They just had an F. Yeah. Number nine, the garage is Michelle Pfeffer. She was so hot in Ricky Gervais Picture Show.

[Shane]

I really liked her in that picture show.

[Damian]

Anyways, number nine, the garage is technically rented out by a secret fifth tenant. Can you guess who it is? That's correct. Mike Posner. And you want to know why Mike Posner is in the garage? Because he made eye contact with George. Not so cool now, are you, Mr. Bow chicka wow Wow.

[Shane]

I was really proud of that one.

[Arasha]

It's good. It's good.

[Shane]

Do you remember him?

[Arasha]

Mike Posner? Yeah, of course.

[Shane]

And I listed his two songs. Well, he had one other.

[Damian]

He thinks he's.

[Arasha]

Oh, what's the other one?

[Shane]

He had cooler than me. He had Baby, Please Don't Go.

[Arasha]

Baby, Please.

[Shane]

And then Bow Chicka wow wow. And he's just been writing hits since. But other people perform them.

[Damian]

I took up.

[Shane]

He's like the Phantom of the Opera.

[Damian]

I bet. Well, because he's got. His face is all up and he loves that lady.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Arasha]

Who? Who? Which lady?

[Shane]

Michelle Pfeffer.

[Damian]

Michelle Pfeffer is there.

[Shane]

It was that. That was the final rule, right?

[Damian]

Number 10, buy me in and out.

[Shane]

There it is.

[Damian]

Yeah. You know, I haven't had in and out since we were roommates.

[Shane]

Really?

[Damian]

No.

[Shane]

Wow.

[Damian]

I have.

[Shane]

Oh, okay.

[Damian]

We've had it together.

[Shane]

That's true.

[Damian]

I opened up to you about my childhood.

[Shane]

That is true.

[Damian]

Which was good.

[Arasha]

This is such an interesting dynamic to sit in between.

[Damian]

Arasha, tell me a fun story about your childhood.

[Arasha]

Let's see. A fun story about my childhood is. So when I moved. Moved to America and I was like three or four or something.

[Damian]

Kobe, you okay?

[Shane]

I was trying to hit the camera. I thought that would have been cool.

[Arasha]

Why?

[Shane]

Like Jimmy Fallon in Weekend Update. I see when he throw the pencil.

[Damian]

You'Re not drunk enough.

[Shane]

It's true.

[Arasha]

When I was a. When I was a kid, my family immigrated to America. I only spoke Hindi, and I got in front of my classroom and my teacher told me to, like, I don't know, introduce myself, I guess, or something. But I didn't speak English, so I didn't know what she was saying and I didn't know what to actually say. So instead I just started saying the plot of my favorite movie, all in Hindi.

[Shane]

What was your favorite movie?

[Damian]

It's called all in Hindi. Weren't you listening?

[Shane]

Sorry. I apologize, Rush. I was not listening.

[Arasha]

Yeah, that's okay.

[Damian]

That's why God gave us one mouth and two ears.

[Shane]

Whoa.

[Damian]

And two assholes for dual shittery. Sorry, Rash. I didn't mean to take your spotlight.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Arasha]

No, it's okay.

[Shane]

What actually is your.

[Damian]

Mine comes out like a double helix. Go on.

[Arasha]

Well, it was my favorite movie at the time. When I was a kid, it was my family's. Favorite movie. It was this Bollywood movie called Adna Zapna apna. And I started saying the plot of the entire movie in Hindi. And then when my mom came and picked me up, she was like, how'd she do? And the teacher was like, we don't know. We're not really sure because she just got up in front of the class. How old were you speaking in Hindi? Like, three.

[Shane]

Oh, wow.

[Arasha]

So like, five years ago.

[Shane]

Right.

[Damian]

You can finally both.

[Shane]

How quickly did you learn? Because, like, at 3, you can learn English. Like. Like, you learn languages. Like, nothing when you're three years old.

[Damian]

Yeah. Your biggest accomplishment is just like, whatever.

[Arasha]

Yeah. Do you guys speak any other languages?

[Shane]

I've tried body.

[Arasha]

You can try harder.

[Damian]

Body talk.

[Shane]

Body language. I've often on with Spanish my whole life, and I just. I'm just terrible at it.

[Arasha]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Just really bad at it. Yep. I suck.

[Damian]

Check out this gringo.

[Arasha]

You don't suck.

[Damian]

I suck.

[Shane]

No, I needed to. I need to like you, frankly. I need to, like, move to another country.

[Damian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And. And go through that and. And explain the plot of. Of.

[Damian]

Okay, but when I screamed that at.

[Shane]

You, forest gump to a bunch of people who don't speak English and then be like, I need to figure this out.

[Damian]

I could learn Hindi if you give me about panch minut and then.

[Arasha]

Okay. It's pretty good. Oh, I wouldn't laugh at you for saying that.

[Shane]

How about a year from now, we do an episode entirely in Hindi and then we just see who did. Who learned the best. Like, Damian and I. And then, like, you judge and then we just. We just do that.

[Arasha]

I could probably, like, write you guys up, like, a little script and you'd be able to say it. We just go through it in, like, a hind English kind of way.

[Shane]

Are you still fully. You're fully fluent?

[Arasha]

I mean, I wouldn't say, like, fully fluent. Like, I can't write in the scripture, but yeah, like, if. If somebody else is speaking it, I would be able to keep up with them. I'd be able to give them directions or have a conversation with them.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Arasha]

Yeah.

[Shane]

That's awesome.

[Arasha]

I mean, it's. It's good.

[Shane]

Yeah. No, that's. To know another language is sick as hell.

[Arasha]

I've also. I would. I would also describe my relationship with Spanish as like a little on and off. It feels a little stronger some days than others, you know? But it always comes.

[Damian]

See? Verdad.

[Shane]

Did you know what he said?

[Arasha]

He said. Right. Did you know what he said?

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Damian]

Masomenos.

[Arasha]

More or less.

[Shane]

Un poquito a little.

[Arasha]

Un poquito mas a little more. Mm.

[Shane]

Wow. I hope our listeners can speak Spanish or else they're gonna be very confused.

[Arasha]

Well, I'm trans.

[Shane]

I guess that's true. Well, I hope they can speak English as well. I. I have a slight suspicion that most of our listeners don't speak English because if they could understand what we're saying, they would be like.

[Arasha]

They'd be like, what is this? Why is that happening?

[Damian]

Yeah, they're like, we don't know what pepper is. Can you move on?

[Shane]

There was a. There was a. Sorry, change the subject really quick. There was a Reddit post a while back where someone said that their, like, grandmother or someone in Japan was watching Reddit stories to, like, help them learn it. Like, oh, yeah, learns about English. I was like, that's so crazy.

[Damian]

It's great because I do know most of the things we say on that are, like, at a, you know, five year old, six year old level. So that makes it a little bit easier to learn. Cause I. I knew a somebody who had immigrated from Germany and was working as a friend's babysitter, and she would watch like, Charlie Brown just to, like. Cause, you know, it's for kids and.

[Shane]

Reddit stories is about Charlie Brown level.

[Arasha]

Right. Did you guys know that there's. I'm sure they do it in other places as well, but I just have seen the Hindi versions. They will take, like, Disney Channel shows and basically just like, recast an Indian cast and just change all the names to, like, make it an Indian thing, but use the exact same plot and the exact same script.

[Shane]

That's kind of awesome.

[Arasha]

Oh, it's amazing.

[Shane]

I want to watch these.

[Arasha]

So good luck Charlie is good luck Nikki again. Exactly.

[Damian]

I feel like that one didn't need to be changed then.

[Arasha]

Um, what do you mean? Like, Charlie would be able to be an Indian name too.

[Damian]

Is Nikki a traditionally Indian name as well?

[Arasha]

Uh, I mean, I guess it can be.

[Shane]

That'd be really funny if it's all. It's like, good luck Becky.

[Arasha]

It's like, okay, well, I think Nikki is. I'm not sure, but it's. It can be the shorter version of Nikita.

[Damian]

Got it.

[Shane]

Cool.

[Damian]

I did suspect that after I said it.

[Arasha]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shane]

What was Hannah Montana? They had to have done Hannah Montana.

[Arasha]

I don't know. I know. They also did Suite Life of Zack and Cody because it's the Suite Life of Kabir and Kumar.

[Shane]

That's fucking awesome.

[Arasha]

I think so.

[Damian]

Hana Kashmir.

[Arasha]

Maybe.

[Damian]

Maybe, Maybe.

[Arasha]

Yeah.

[Shane]

That's so fun. How many seasons did these do the whole show?

[Arasha]

They literally just copy it over.

[Shane]

That's fucking awesome.

[Arasha]

It's awesome. We should watch.

[Shane]

I would be so doub to watch. It's so incredible.

[Damian]

They did do that here, though. They call it muzzy.

[Shane]

What?

[Damian]

Muzzy. The language learning thing for kids. Oh, I thought you'd get the muzzy.

[Arasha]

I'm not sure if it's, like, appropriately for, like, to. To teach at another level. It's just for entertaining.

[Shane]

It's just money.

[Arasha]

And they're like, oh, they're making money over in America. Let's just make this exact same thing.

[Shane]

So cool.

[Damian]

They did that with the Steve Carell show that he got famous from.

[Shane]

Yeah, the Office. Britain Ripped it from America. Did the Office over in Britain. Same with the Bachelor. Same with, you know, all sorts of stuff. Yeah, they rip off.

[Arasha]

It's hard to come up with original stuff.

[Shane]

Yeah. You know, like, we drink coffee, and so Britain was like, we need our version. So they started drinking tea. That was.

[Damian]

They always changed the name, though. The Bachelor became Squibbly Wibbly Pibbly Stibblies Patronum.

[Shane]

Yeah. And we had the Food Network, and they're like, Great British Bake Off. That's totally ripped from us.

[Damian]

Yeah, we had the Food Network, and then they just took all of Indian cuisine from an Indian food show, and we're like, this is British food. That's good, right? They're always like, british food is good. And be sure to check me out at mcm. London Comic Con.

[Shane]

Yeah. After talking that shit, they're not gonna let you in. Okay, I've been alerted that it's been 60 minutes, and that means the game is over.

[Arasha]

All right, Let your laughs out.

[Shane]

You guys all right? No, I let them all out in.

[Damian]

The middle of it.

[Shane]

Selena, what is. Tally had four laughs. You laughed four times, loser.

[Arasha]

Barely. I just gave it to you. So I didn't look like a cone. Stol.

[Shane]

Cone. Stol cream.

[Damian]

I could go for some Teddy Glams in a. In a Sweet queen.

[Arasha]

And those count.

[Shane]

No, go ahead and lock them in. We're done.

[Damian]

We're done.

[Arasha]

Lock them in. Yeah, I'll take a water.

[Damian]

They don't count.

[Shane]

Jesus. 11.

[Damian]

But that's what made the episode change. If none of us laughed over sucked.

[Arasha]

I. I laughed four times. I gave it to them. And Damien laughed three times.

[Damian]

And there were pity laughs. No, I'm kidding. Whoa.

[Shane]

Well, you guys did as well as I expected. Damn. Damien pulling out with the win by one laugh.

[Damian]

Thank you. Wow. Well, what can I say? I'm still gonna get you guys treats, okay?

[Arasha]

Oh, that's right. Here.

[Damian]

I don't want that. I really actually don't want.

[Shane]

See, that's actually why I started. That's why I started laughing because I didn't want that shit.

[Arasha]

There you go.

[Damian]

Yeah, no, we said something worth five. That's actually so gross. I can actually see the hair. That's so gross.

[Arasha]

Comment down below, how much you would pay for this? And if it's at least $5, then I get to give this to Damien.

[Damian]

We're auction this off for charity. Yeah. And if you are a terrifying person in a basement thinking, this is my time, it's time to drain the bank account.

[Arasha]

Listen for good listen. Let me hear it from all my long haired. Everybody's this happens, okay? You get a little bit of hair tie. Look, I will not be shamed today.

[Damian]

That's not the problem.

[Shane]

That's not the problem at all.

[Damian]

I shit in the toilet and I wipe and it's like, oh, my toilet paper. Like everyone does it. It's like, yeah, but you throw it away or you keep it to yourself. I keep mine in my pocket.

[Arasha]

Well, what if I want to show everybody that this is normal and I want to put my hair out there for good?

[Shane]

It was great having both of you on. This was awful.

[Arasha]

That sucks.

[Damian]

I don't think this was as good as the Spencer episode. I'm just gonna say I was told Amanda would be here.

[Shane]

Okay, guys, we gotta go. Thank you both for being here and thank you for watching. Get out of here.

[Damian]

Shout out Mike Posner.

[Shane]

Shout out Mike Posner.

[Damian]

By the Macklemore of Mike Posner.

[Arasha]

How much do you want for this? No, how much?

[Damian]

I will give you everything in my pocket right now. To not give that to anybody in this office and throw it away. I don't think you're allowed to do that. I don't think you're allowed.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Shane]

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