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Ryan Seacrest
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Shane
No purchase necessary. VGW Group void where prohibited by law 21/ Terms and Conditions apply. Welcome to Smosh Mouth. I'm Shane and I'm joined by Damian and Arasha.
Arasha
I'm Arasha.
Damian
And I'm Damian.
Shane
How's it going?
Arasha
It's good.
Damian
Yeah. Doing great, Shane. Happy to be here.
Shane
Yeah, fantastic.
Arasha
How are you?
Shane
I'm good. For those watching and listening, this will be our next Try not to Laugh podcast episode. We haven't begun the game yet. We'll begin in, like, five to ten minutes.
Damian
Oh, good. I can stop trying.
Arasha
Yeah.
Shane
But I decided to bring you both into this because I feel like you both are the hardest to break.
Damian
Yeah. Go team.
Arasha
We are strong.
Damian
We did sort of like check in in the kitchen this morning and talk about that a little bit where we're like, we didn't prepare anything, and also, like, we're very dry. I call this the dry goods.
Arasha
Yeah.
Damian
Open up the pantry.
Arasha
Get rid of the dry goods. In our family kitchen in this house that we all live in.
Damian
We're all best friends, you guys.
Shane
Yeah, we all live here.
Arasha
We live here. We met up in the kitchen this morning 10stor underground.
Damian
Spencer tucks us in at night, gives us forehead kisses. If we consent.
Shane
Yeah, right.
Damian
And that's it.
Shane
No, I think. I think this will be very interesting. And I don't want you guys to go easy on this. I want you to play for real.
Damian
Shane, it's 9:00am I feel like if we get you to laugh, it's the best we can do.
Arasha
Right?
Shane
Right.
Arasha
No, I'm feeling a lot of pressure.
Shane
Don't feel pressure.
Arasha
You know, I'm just here to talk about. To talk about life.
Shane
And that's the thing, man. I think sometimes these Try not to laugh podcasts, we get a little too, like, focus focused on telling jokes as opposed to just. Just relaxing, having a conversation, letting the jokes come out naturally, you know, like.
Damian
Yeah, you'd be a great acting teacher, Shane.
Shane
That, I think, is an insult. I was thinking the other day about how there's probably not an industry where most of them are insane.
Damian
Yeah.
Shane
Than acting coaches. Is there any career where 99% are fully crazy?
Damian
I think mechanic. Mechanic. Because I saw. I saw. I want to give credit but I can't because I don't remember the name. But I saw a stand up the other day on TikTok as I was just scrolling through because, you know, that's what you do. What's up, Gen Z? And like he was just like mechanic is the last thing left where like everything is just about probably something. He's like, there's no list of prices. It's just like, what. What can you do? He's like, well, you need a new engine. Is probably anywhere from three to $10,000 today or a week. We'll see. And there's like list. And you just. Yeah. And I think that's.
Arasha
You're on to something.
Damian
Well, he is. I give him credit. Shout out in the comments.
Arasha
All right.
Shane
I don't know. Mechanics are. I don't think of them as crazy. Like there's some stereotypes about mechanics. I think it depends on what state you're in. Like a Boston mechanic.
Damian
Yeah.
Shane
Or a California mechanic. Very different.
Arasha
A mechanic can be hot.
Shane
Yeah. But acting coaches can't.
Arasha
Right. That's the main difference here.
Damian
Not according to like everyone. In the last acting class I took.
Shane
Really?
Damian
I took an acting class for years and like the guy was just this. I don't know. There was nothing super descript about him. He was just like an adult. Like he wasn't daddy. He was a father, a guy, an adult. And like, apparently we had like a cast party and everyone was getting a little tipsy and like everyone in the class who was attracted to men was just like, oh yeah, him, anytime, anywhere. And I was like, fudgeing. Really?
Arasha
We're going to talk after this podcast so you can tell me about this class.
Damian
I don't think I will, but thank you though.
Arasha
I want to know.
Damian
Okay, I'll give you the info.
Arasha
I just want to know who the teacher is so we can google it and see if he's hot.
Damian
It's. He's just. He's just a guy. Think of a guy. Just think of a guy.
Arasha
I. Okay, he's hot.
Damian
Yeah. Now imagine dragons.
Arasha
Yeah, that's pretty cool too.
Shane
I feel like. I don't know. I have a lot of opinions about acting classes because I went to so many for so long and I do think acting class is very important because it's just important to practice. But there's so many acting classes that I was in where I was like, this coach has no idea what they're doing. Some of them I'm like, I'm learning because we're doing it.
Damian
Yeah.
Shane
But not because of what you're saying.
Damian
Right.
Shane
You're saying random shit.
Arasha
Interesting.
Damian
I. My acting class, the one that I was referring to before, was like, the reason I started to realize that I think a little bit differently. And ultimately I'm neurodivergent because his whole thing was like, you have to be thinking as the character. Think your thoughts. Like, what are you thinking in this moment? And I'm like, I'm thinking like nine different things. And some are as the character, but then others are like, you know, did the orange color or did the tree come first? And it was the fruit. But like, it's. It's all these things. And he's like, well, no, think as the character. I'm like, does everybody not think like a shotgun spray of thoughts all the time? And I was like, oh, interesting.
Shane
But you probably could find an acting coach that would teach in a way that would accommodate how you're thinking.
Arasha
Yeah, maybe.
Shane
I feel like there's different styles because there's. There were the styles where it's like, pull from your real life. And then my. One of the acting coaches I went to was like, no, that. Never do that. I was like, okay, yeah, yeah. And so after a few acting classes, I feel like you learn. Every acting coach is gonna tell you, don't do what that last acting coach said.
Damian
Yeah, they're an idiot.
Shane
Truly. Truly. And one of the acting coaches I had who I did really like because it was very like film, TV based, but we would get new students who were like, fresh out of, like, theater school or like, like learning theater. And he would always just be like, God, we gotta. We have to like, deconstruct everything, you know?
Arasha
Yeah.
Shane
Even though it's not wrong for the medium that they're doing, it's not bad. It's just different. So fascinating, but frustrating.
Arasha
I think my issue with classes is that there's this big focus on technique and the craft, which is of course important. But I wish that there was more of an emphasis placed on the technicalities of acting. Like the business of acting teach people how to submit and how to light themselves for an audition. Now that we have self tape stuff like that.
Shane
I got really lucky in that way that in Arizona, when I first got into acting, it was like, oh, I was getting to theater, community theater. And I did one play and then one of the other actors in that play was like, oh, I go to this acting class, you should come with me. And I go thinking it'll be like, oh, like acting class for like theater. And they were teaching like audition technique. They had a camera set up and you were learning how to act in front of a camera and give eyelines to that camera and all that stuff. So that's kind of immediately what I got into by pure accident. You time the same and it helped me when I came out to la. Like auditions weren't crazy. Cause this acting class always had a camera there. It's pretty awesome.
Arasha
Yeah, really helpful.
Shane
It was super helpful. Helpful.
Damian
Absolutely.
Shane
Completely different ballpark.
Arasha
Yeah, yeah, super different.
Damian
I think that's the benefit of growing up in one of those like third tier markets, like, oh, Atlanta. Oh, like Arizona. Oh, you know, Texas. Because it's always like, you start out in community theater, but there's that one parent where it's like, well, you know, we're taking Becky Ann up to the Acting Acting Actors Studio up in such and such town. And then that's like all it takes for you to break in. Also, I have a challenge for everybody out there real quick. I painted my nails literally right before we started filming, thinking I would have time and I didn't. And so I've already tracked some onto my ear and on a part of my hand and I wiped it off, but I'm not seeing anything I didn't notice. My thought is that during this, at some point I am going to wipe something on something and I want you to point it out in the comments.
Shane
Well, if it makes us laugh, then it's good.
Arasha
Yeah. What if I just grab some and put it on your face?
Damian
Do it, but do it under my eyes. Then we'll be like Gridiron Gang.
Shane
Nice.
Damian
I never saw that. Yeah.
Shane
Wayne the Rock Johnson.
Damian
I know. You're 19 years old.
Arasha
I'm 16.
Damian
That's okay.
Shane
Okay.
Damian
Happy birthday.
Arasha
Well, thank you.
Damian
You can draft. You can vote illegally now. Sixteen, man.
Shane
You should. All right, I got that laugh out.
Arasha
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just letting it out. I'm just. I actually, I wasn't laughing. I was just having fun.
Shane
Are you guys ready to begin? Do you want to get this started?
Arasha
Sure.
Damian
I kind of wish we went back to acting technique, but. Okay.
Shane
I mean, we could go back to talking about acting.
Arasha
No.
Shane
Be funny.
Damian
No, no.
Shane
All right.
Damian
The moment someone talked about my nail polish.
Shane
All right, are we ready to begin?
Arasha
Let's begin.
Shane
Look, we haven't agreed on what the prize is, but I don think it matters. I think we all care about honor here. We all care about our pride. What's the price and our ability, Troy, Maybe we can talk afterwards. Maybe. Maybe a $20 will get thrown on this table. Who knows?
Damian
So last time I won.
Shane
We don't know. We can't legally. Smosh. Can't do anything. But I personally, Shane, maybe I've been.
Arasha
Paid before when I win Games, videos.
Damian
Yeah, because they really.
Arasha
Alex pays me because they can't. That's not a joke. That's not a joke. I'm not kidding.
Shane
I think that's fresh out of his pocket.
Arasha
Oh, absolutely. It is. He's like, hey, I'll bet you like 10 bucks you won't win. And then he'll be like, I'm a man of my word.
Damian
Honestly, we don't talk about this enough. Alex is rich, you guys.
Arasha
That is rich. Oh, oh, I forgot that we're starting.
Shane
No, we haven't started. We didn't. I think. I think we didn't because we didn't officially all agree that we're beginning.
Damian
This is the thing. Every time I've won something here, it's been like an Olive Garden gift card. And as in Italian, I can't go there.
Arasha
You're Italian?
Damian
Yeah, Italian, German. Sorry.
Arasha
It was a gasp.
Damian
I know. So I can't go there. And then, like, last time I won something on, like a stage on a streamed thing that Angela set me up on, they gave me a Dick's sporting goods thing. And I'm like, look at me. So, you know, there's nothing I can. I just. I need something that. Like a steam gift card. Hatsune Miku, anything. Okay, like, let's.
Arasha
Let's all. How about we all put something into the potluck?
Damian
Okay?
Arasha
That's what you call something that everybody.
Shane
We just all agree that we're going to put something worth $5 into the. Into the potluck at the end of this.
Arasha
Okay.
Shane
We'll decide afterwards. Maybe we can talk about it. Post in the comments something.
Damian
I love doing my, like, little treasure hunts at, like, estate sales and stuff. I will find something, $5 or less. And I will find something specifically for the winner that I think they will like.
Arasha
I have a hair tie in my pocket that has some of my hair still on it.
Damian
Let's put a pin in it.
Arasha
Does that count?
Shane
Worth $5?
Arasha
Let me put it online and tell you how much it might be worth it.
Shane
Okay, fine. Whoever wins, the other two owe them a gift that is worth $5.
Damian
Great.
Arasha
Deal.
Shane
Great. All right. Shall we Begin.
Arasha
You guys did it.
Shane
Beginning now.
Arasha
Beginning now. So did you guys watch the VMAs last night?
Damian
Hell, no.
Shane
I did see Chapel Roan's performance. That was awesome. That reminded me. You may not remember this, but back in, like, the early 2000s, performances used to be like that. They were just insane.
Arasha
Huge. They were all pretty.
Shane
And I realized Beyonce's been doing it the entire time, but to have, like, other people doing it is kind of shocking.
Arasha
I liked. I liked Sabrina Carpenter's performance.
Shane
That was also good.
Arasha
Huge.
Shane
They're full on pop stars.
Arasha
Oh, yeah.
Shane
Very cool.
Arasha
I'm enjoying it.
Shane
But they're, like opposites in ways.
Arasha
Sabrina and Chapel.
Shane
Yeah, in. In cool ways. Dark and light.
Arasha
Ooh.
Damian
Oh, yeah. Yeah. Now we're getting into what I like.
Shane
Yeah.
Damian
Talk about that.
Shane
You like Chapel Roan. You would love Chapel.
Damian
I do, actually. I listen to Chapel Roan. I'm not. I'm about to be that guy. But a few years back, before Chapel Roan was super well known, I was dating someone that was a fan, and they were like, listen to this. You know, music. Listen to this music. And I. So I liked a couple of the songs, like Pink Pony Club.
Arasha
So you wrote for Chapel Roan.
Damian
I did. Well, I actually met Chapel Roan when I was your age 16, when you go to. Because I went to homecoming, and there was, like, a couple of them there. Some of the parents were acting as Chapel rounds, and they made sure that we were not getting into trouble.
Arasha
How could you look into my eyes and see?
Shane
That was smooth.
Damian
Thank you.
Shane
That was smooth.
Damian
Thank you.
Shane
That's the thing with Damian is, like, you won't realize he's been planning something for, like, five sentences.
Arasha
Right, Right. While he's sneaky.
Damian
You guys will see it on the video. When you guys were like, VMAs Chapel Ron. I was like, I just literally looked back and forth between you.
Arasha
Like, you started cooking.
Shane
You got this.
Damian
All right, well, no, it's just. I don't know. I don't watch award shows.
Shane
Something as exciting as the VMAs that I've been probably most focused on. Have you guys watched the Hawktua podcast? Talk to a. Literally. I'm actually not joking. It is called talktua.
Damian
Wait, really?
Shane
It is called Talktua.
Arasha
That's a creative, smart name.
Shane
Yeah, it is called Talktua. I watched it. I don't remember any.
Damian
Is it Hawktua girl, like, having some kind of monetized way to capitalize on like, that?
Shane
Yeah. At one point. I'm not actually kidding. She does give an Instructional on how to say spit on that thing.
Arasha
So she's an acting teacher for Hawk.
Shane
Specifically the phrase Hawk Tua.
Arasha
I see.
Damian
That's. I don't. I think she's missed core concept of what people were interested in. And instruction wise, you know, spitting on that thing.
Shane
I know.
Arasha
On what thing?
Damian
The hot dog of the person. The. It shoots out like at the bottom of your tummy sometimes for some people.
Arasha
I'm breathing so differently than I normally do.
Damian
That's called Lamaze.
Arasha
Yeah. No, I needed that. I needed that exhale.
Shane
Oh, man. Anyways, no, I actually, I lied. I did not watch the talk to a podcast. But it is a real thing that exists.
Arasha
Is it just.
Shane
I know. Actually kind of breaking for a second. I want to know in the comments below how mad would people be if we brought Huck to a girl on Smosh Mouth. I just. I'm just curious. I just want to gauge. It's not happening. There's no. There's no cogs turning or.
Arasha
People would love it.
Shane
You think they'd like it?
Arasha
Gosh, yeah.
Shane
I feel like our audience. I don't know if our audience would be like, come on.
Damian
I think they'd appreciate the novelty of it.
Arasha
Maybe if we don't like, highlight her. But it's like Mario Kart with Hawk to A.
Shane
That'd be funny.
Arasha
You know, so it's like she's just like in a games video or like.
Shane
Moosemaster with Hawk to a girl. Yeah, it's like after when you pull a card, you have to hawk to A. Spit on that thing.
Arasha
Try not to laugh. Hawk to A.
Shane
That'd be funny, right? Okay.
Arasha
Hawk to A says, I think it's.
Shane
Really hot in here.
Arasha
Yeah, no, go for a cover up.
Damian
What? Silly shirt. What fresh hell awaits me?
Arasha
Does that say, sorry, I just gotta.
Damian
Does that say dilf?
Shane
God, that was such a good parry.
Damian
Sorry, I gotta do a little repost.
Shane
This is.
Arasha
Is that defy?
Shane
This is an old Defy shirt. Found it.
Damian
Amazing.
Shane
It's made out of that material that I hate.
Arasha
That, like, soft cotton that everything was.
Shane
Made out of for like five years.
Damian
It's better than like ultra cotton. Like, they're like heavy, real cotton. And you're like, great. It's a cardboard heavy shirt.
Arasha
Oh, I kind of like the heavy cardboard.
Shane
Every shirt. You'd go anywhere and they'd be like, here's a free shirt.
Damian
And it was made out of this.
Arasha
It's made out of like, let me sweat through that the second I put it on.
Damian
As somebody that's already sweating just to live. I'm a big fan. Is that you've been working out? You look so good. Is that a small?
Shane
I don't know. I think it's a medium. I think it's a medium. I can't see.
Arasha
Want me to peek? Want me to peek?
Damian
Wouldn't it be crazy if something was written there?
Arasha
It's a large.
Shane
It's a large. Wow. Beast man shirts are very light.
Damian
Ching Ping. Shane. Big Shane. Big Shane. Reed.
Shane
Shane. Defy M asshole. Me.
Arasha
Why is this like that?
Damian
What do you mean?
Arasha
Like, why does that look like that? Why can I only make out the D and, like, kind of the F?
Shane
Well, Defy was a bad company.
Arasha
I see.
Shane
They made bad decisions.
Arasha
Gotcha.
Shane
So even their design of their logo was kind of bad.
Arasha
Oh, wait. Now I see it.
Damian
Yeah, you get it. It's about the letters that aren't there. And it's about the money they didn't have.
Shane
I see the. It's the money that you didn't make along the way.
Damian
What's up?
Arasha
No, you go.
Damian
I was about to say it's the missing letters in between a bunch of white. The white represents cocaine that I'm pretty sure a couple of the owners were on. Allegedly. From me, definitely.
Arasha
Are you guys allowed to, like, speak about Defy the way that you speak about it? Like, is there anybody still who's gonna sue you? Is there anybody at Defy that you guys are scared of?
Damian
I could beat up Keith easily.
Arasha
Keith is still at Defy.
Damian
He was.
Shane
Keith does. When he's not working on Smosh videos, he goes back to the old building.
Arasha
The Defy house.
Shane
Yeah, the Defy house. He just chills there.
Arasha
I see.
Damian
I could beat up who else is around? I don't know. Bleep these names.
Shane
You're not even naming the corporate people. You're just naming people. We've worked well.
Damian
There's the ones I'm actually scared of. They got big money.
Shane
Oh, a guy who looked just like me.
Damian
Yeah.
Arasha
I thought you were gonna say me.
Shane
That'd be funny.
Arasha
A guy who looked like me.
Shane
That was a Rasha. Wouldn't it be funny if you just revealed at some point, you're like, I was actually at Defy the whole time.
Arasha
It's me.
Shane
It was me.
Arasha
I feel like I. As much as I love a long con, I don't know if I'd be able to hold on to it that long.
Damian
Really?
Arasha
I would have revealed it a while ago.
Shane
Wow.
Arasha
But to reveal it on, like, not that Smoshmouth is small, but to reveal it on, like, a very, like, quick one off Smoshmouth episode, you kind of.
Shane
Iconic whole episode about this con that. Yeah.
Arasha
You think that that's what I want.
Shane
Do you have any cons that you're pulling off right now? Like, currently. Any long cons that we should just. You don't have to say what it is, but for the fans. Are you currently in the process of pulling off something?
Arasha
Well, there's that one that you and I are working on.
Shane
Right. I remember, Shane. Yeah.
Damian
It's not just yes, it's yes.
Arasha
And Shane, we've been meeting.
Shane
Yes.
Arasha
About this.
Shane
I know. Well, I'm not gonna talk about it here.
Arasha
Well, it's gonna be revealed on November 4th.
Shane
God damn it.
Arasha
I knew it.
Shane
I knew it. As soon as we started.
Arasha
So just keep it together.
Shane
Fuck. We unfortunately have an episode that's releasing that day and I'm just like, making predictions.
Damian
Fuck. Lean into it. Just lean into it.
Arasha
Okay. I predict from Defy is gonna come out of left field, take the election.
Shane
Okay. So actually we just got confirmation that the fifth is. I think that's how it's always been.
Arasha
And you know what? That's good. No, that's good.
Damian
Did they move it?
Shane
I think they moved it.
Arasha
It's good, actually. So then Archon can come out and then other less important news will come out.
Shane
Yes.
Damian
I think Kamala had a thing on the fourth, if I remember correctly.
Arasha
Right, right, right.
Shane
Yes.
Arasha
With her kid.
Damian
With her kid. Yeah.
Shane
Yeah.
Arasha
Right.
Damian
Yeah.
Shane
Cool model. Her kid, I believe, is a cool, like, awesome.
Damian
You know, at the beginning of the.
Shane
Jetsons where she's an adult, her kid.
Arasha
Is a cool model.
Shane
I'm not kidding. Conservatives have been trying to dunk on her. And it's like, you just keep showing photos of this, like, cool model person. What?
Arasha
Just the way that you're like, her kid's a cool model.
Shane
They are.
Damian
They're like, it sounds like English is not your first language and you're trying to fit in super well. You're like, oh, they're like a cool model, you guys. Yes, I want to be like a cool. I want to totally, like, break dance in clubs, have sex on someone. It's going to be crazy.
Shane
Did you ever do that? That simulation where you try to get into that club, that exclusive club?
Damian
Oh, I thought.
Shane
Sorry.
Damian
Going from that, I thought you were.
Shane
Talking about there's a real thing. There's a website, and because there's this super exclusive club in, like, I don't know, it's in like Germany or somewhere in Europe. Right. And to get in you have to like say a specific series of phrases and stuff. And it's like super exclusive. But online you can go through a simulation to see if you can get into the club. And you have. It's just. It's like. It plays out in real time. It's like real people and it goes through this video and you have to answer questions in sequence. And we did it a bunch and we never got in.
Damian
Really?
Shane
Yes.
Damian
How were you dressed? Well, it's club attire or what?
Shane
Yeah, I was wearing a full. Full Puma tracksuit and I still wasn't let in.
Damian
Did you smell like Aqua Velva?
Shane
No. So that's my problem.
Arasha
Damn.
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Shane
No purchase necessary VGW Group Void where prohibited by law 21 + terms and conditions apply. I'm change it up for a bit.
Arasha
Okay.
Shane
Arasha, you were in a Christmas movie a little bit ago called Spirited.
Arasha
Yeah.
Damian
Oh, the horse.
Shane
Yeah. This is a sequel. Spirited.
Damian
Yeah. The hot horse.
Shane
Yeah.
Arasha
What's with eyebrows? What does that mean?
Damian
Dreamworks movie. The Hot with a hot horse.
Shane
Yeah. Spirit. And then the sequel. Spirited.
Arasha
Right, sure. Yes. And right.
Shane
Anyways, you were in this movie. It had Ryan Reynolds and Will Ferrell in it and you played a role of co worker in it.
Damian
What was their name?
Arasha
Yeah, yeah.
Shane
Anyways, I thought it was interesting, you know, So I did some research and I actually found the sides for the audition for this role.
Arasha
And I. I'm gonna kill you.
Shane
I thought it'd be fun.
Damian
I hope.
Arasha
For the record, I was actually a stand in. I got bumped one day at a co worker.
Shane
That'd be awesome.
Damian
That's great.
Arasha
Let's just put that out there for the record.
Shane
So.
Arasha
Okay, this isn't fair.
Shane
So this is double sided. So we'll turn the page at one point. But Damian, can you read stage direction and also be the line at the end?
Damian
Line at the end. Why? Why? That's the lead.
Shane
And then Arasha, can you be co worker and I'll play the other role?
Damian
Of course.
Shane
Anyways, so just to be Clear.
Arasha
I'm co worker.
Shane
You are co worker.
Arasha
Got it.
Shane
Which is your role, right, that you booked? So you nailed this Anyways, Damian, take it away.
Damian
Spirited interior, corporate office, Christmas time. Clint Briggs. Ryan Reynolds is typing furiously at his cubicle. He doesn't believe in the magic of Christmas. Just then, co worker of Rashalalani, who is super forgettable, approaches.
Arasha
Hey, Clint, are you going to the holiday party this Friday?
Damian
Clint looks at co worker, confused.
Shane
I'm sorry, have we met?
Damian
Co worker looks around, confused.
Arasha
Um, yes.
Shane
No, sorry, this isn't the script. I've never met you in my life.
Arasha
Ryan. I've introduced myself about a dozen times.
Shane
It's truly incredible.
Arasha
You're kind of a piece of shit.
Shane
Have you met my wife?
Arasha
No.
Shane
I own a soccer team.
Arasha
Cool.
Shane
Who are you?
Arasha
Are you serious?
Damian
The director, Stanley Cumbrick, stands and applauds. Cut. We got it. That's a wrap. The entire crew files into a truck and then drives into a swamp.
Shane
I think there's a ink mark on this. Do you mind reading that really quick? Damian? The diagonal.
Damian
Pepper.
Shane
God, stone cold.
Arasha
What does that mean? What is pepper?
Damian
It's from the defy days when we ate a bunch of pepper.
Shane
Actually, it wasn't.
Damian
Okay, so it's yes and.
Shane
Right. It was from the defy days when we ate a bunch of pepper.
Damian
No, it wasn't, you fucking idiot. Damn it.
Arasha
From the defy kitchen.
Shane
Anyways, Arasha.
Damian
Isn't that crazy?
Arasha
This is so crazy. This is like exactly what happened on set. Yeah, yeah. No, this is tough.
Shane
Does it bring back memories?
Arasha
It absolutely does. Cause, you know, I was very excited the day that I was bumped, right? They were like, oh, we need. We need somebody in the scene. And there was like.
Damian
They were like, it could be anyone. It could be literally anyone, right? Anyone. Does anyone want to do it? Anyone? Guys? Anyone? Anyone? Anyone?
Arasha
And then they were like, how about this beautiful, very talented stand in that?
Damian
She was busy as fuck, so she moved out of the way.
Arasha
And then they were like, how about the beautiful and talented of Russia? And I said, yes.
Shane
Arasha Banks. No, never mind. I was like, if there was another person named Arasha, I'm screwed, man.
Damian
I see. The thing is all of these things are funny. I'm just broken.
Arasha
Exactly. No, exactly. I'm trying to win.
Damian
That's really.
Arasha
Otherwise we'd be having more fun.
Damian
I'm really glad I've realized this, like 7ish years into my smosh career. It's really about, like, you know, when you think about the comedy of the episode. It is more about winning. Like, yes, I could laugh and we could all have a great time, and I could just let myself go. But five bucks is five bucks, which is what I said when Ian cast me.
Arasha
It's five bucks each, actually.
Shane
So a $15 total winner, which is. Oh, with taxes, it's gonna definitely come down to, like, five.
Arasha
475.
Shane
Yeah. 475.
Damian
And think about that on November 5th.
Shane
Fuck. Fuck, man. God damn. I am fighting for my life here, and I am losing bad right now.
Arasha
It's really a struggle. I feel like I'm just not breathing a little bit.
Damian
Oh, you gotta breathe a little bit.
Arasha
No.
Damian
Okay. And that's how. See how I respected those boundaries when Arasha was just like, I'm not gonna breathe. And I was like, okay.
Shane
It was very, very cool of you, man.
Damian
You sounded a little bit like if south park was doing Deadpool.
Shane
Yeah, no, I don't really have a Ryan Reynolds impression. It's just like a little bit of. Basically, all I can say sometimes is, great, great.
Arasha
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I remember on the first day, I think I might have told this story, but on the first day of set, he, like, came over and he was, like, tall. Like, like every stand in everyone. He was like, first day. And that's kind of how he talked to us, like, all the time.
Damian
Like, you're not over.
Arasha
And he was like, I'm Ryan. Hey, I'm Ryan. It's kind of like, wow. Yeah.
Shane
So he's committed.
Arasha
I mean, it was definitely kind. It's definitely a nice thing.
Damian
Yeah.
Arasha
To introduce yourself, even if it does feel, like, weird in a sense. But I'm sure he's also like, it's weird, but I'm pushing past the weird, you know?
Damian
Yeah.
Arasha
Can you do an impression of Damien and I actually.
Damian
That'd be great. I'd love that.
Shane
Okay, here's my impression of Arasha. Here we go. So it's probably something like, sure, I can.
Damian
That's actually really good.
Arasha
Yeah, it's pretty good. That's some crazy side eye good.
Shane
Yeah.
Arasha
Maybe show a side to me that the camera doesn't know. I don't do that.
Shane
You do that all the time.
Damian
You do do that.
Arasha
I don't do. Do that.
Shane
Whenever you ask a question that you don't understand.
Damian
And you do it when you sleep. For sure.
Shane
Yeah. If you. If you. If you.
Arasha
Well, that's. Cause our beds are right next to.
Damian
Each other because we live in the same house.
Shane
We have a bunch of hammers on the ceiling. Of this studio.
Damian
I do have that dream all the time. Where I can fly. No, where it's where it is, like, with the same vibe of like, oh, you're back in high school and blah, blah, blah. It's like, I'll be in a big ass house and then there'll be like, all these different rooms and I'll be like, oh, we all, like, live here now. Like, this is Shane's room and this is whatever. But, like, then I'll open up the door and I'll be like, oh, my room is like, way too small or, like, kind of removed. Like, I don't want to rock the boat. But, like, it's this whole. It's like all the stress of moving in with roommates that you also work with.
Shane
Yeah.
Damian
And then so my con is, I will be attending MCM London Comic Con at the end of October. Feel free to come on down. That's the con I've been working on.
Shane
That's pretty cool. You can. You can walk up to Damian, experience all this shit.
Damian
Yeah. Or just, you know, take a selfie.
Arasha
Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's do Damien next. Let's do Damien.
Damian
Oh, yeah.
Shane
Do you have a Damien impression?
Damian
How hard can you blink?
Arasha
I don't know. I feel like I have Shane's ready, actually.
Shane
Oh, okay. Let's see.
Arasha
Yeah.
Shane
Let me.
Arasha
Let me maybe do Shane. Let me maybe do Shane. Okay, hear me out. Now, this is a very specific Shane. This is the Shane that's like, this is the Shane. When Shane is like, this is a shame that. When Shane is like, this is the Shane. Like, that's like. That's like. That's like, Give me a break. He's like. He's like being a character for a second. He'll. He'll make this face.
Damian
He'll be like, that's true. He's like.
Arasha
He's like, yeah, I guess I can. You know what I mean? Yeah. That one. That one. That guy.
Shane
I'm not doing a character, though. This is me, Right?
Arasha
That's why I was struggling to describe.
Shane
It because it's about Dumpster Wizard.
Arasha
Is that who I look like?
Shane
Well, the eye has got to be way more messed up.
Damian
You do the DreamWorks poster. One eyebrow where you just look at the front of the camera and you're just like, yeah, this is Madagascar.
Arasha
Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's Shane coming on set. He's like.
Damian
Okay.
Arasha
Okay.
Shane
Wow. That's. Well, that's a. That's a fine. I guess that's an okay energy to be. Yeah.
Damian
Yeah, it's not bad at all.
Arasha
And then Shane's walking around, he's like, sup, dude? Hey.
Damian
Sup?
Arasha
How was your weekend?
Shane
That's just an impression of a guy.
Arasha
Awesome. Yeah, awesome.
Damian
You're, you know, Raja just.
Arasha
What? Yeah, I'll take a water.
Damian
Yeah, that's so good. Like normal human phrases. No, this is some.
Shane
Shane is normal human phrases. Yeah, I'll take a water. How's it going?
Arasha
But it's the way that you're saying.
Damian
I agree.
Arasha
Look at. The whole room is with me. Everybody's like, that's Shane. Everyone's like, shane.
Damian
Because, like, that's. That's something I definitely wouldn't have picked up on. But that's so true. Where it's not like, do you want a water? Sure. It's like, it's always like, I've micro considered it and am delivering my answer. It's like, yeah, I'll take a water. You know, actually, you know what? I could go for a nice glass.
Shane
Of like, I'm in a Samuel Adams commercial. Yeah, a little bit. Yeah, I think I'll take a water.
Damian
I think I'll take a bottle of moist.
Shane
Okay.
Arasha
Trying to think. What else do you say to me? Like, you can go in front of me if you want. Yeah.
Shane
What are we doing?
Arasha
I think it's. I think it's P F Chang's for lunch today.
Shane
It actually is. It.
Arasha
It actually is.
Damian
Yeah. I've been reading Kafka on the Shore, and. Yeah, it's crazy. They talk about like. I don't know. It's just like. They talk about, like. Yeah, I don't know.
Shane
That's when you found out that I never read a book in my life.
Damian
Yeah.
Arasha
Yeah. I don't know. I'm not seeing. I'm not seeing Shane in your impression.
Damian
Oh, I'm just being an asshole.
Arasha
Oh, I see. I see.
Shane
Got it.
Arasha
Me too.
Damian
Yeah.
Shane
There's tons of Damianisms.
Damian
Blink so hard.
Shane
No, the blinking is never something I've thought.
Arasha
No, that's too easy. I. I feel I have more Shane in me. I have more like, Shane. Shane guesses his.
Shane
Yeah, he's like, all right. Yeah. No, let's keep going with this. This is awesome.
Arasha
This is awesome.
Shane
You're just saying things.
Arasha
This is all.
Shane
This is not an impression. You're just saying, welcome back.
Arasha
So I'm Shane. I just feel. I become him. I just feel like he's like, right here.
Damian
You know what? It is, too. The one thing I notice, you like, experiencing new things, but, like, going Full force into them. And they are like, just normal dude isms. But, like, you enjoy, like, the nuance of them. So just be, like. Been buying a lot of chinos. I wear chinos now. Yeah, I've been pairing them with. Been pairing them with Sperry's shoes. Sperry's in 2005.
Arasha
Yeah, yeah. I listened to Chapel Roan. She's huge now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Shane
I don't know how I feel about any of this. That is transpiring.
Damian
Okay, well, it's you. Here's the one thing I prepared before. Try not to laugh, okay? It's another impression. Okay, this is spongebob, but the Japanese language dub version.
Shane
Can you give me, like, two seconds to just prepare for this? The title was a lot rash. You need to brace yourself. This is gonna be insane. All right, I'm not gonna laugh at this. Damian, take it away.
Damian
Can one of you do a ringing phone sound, please?
Shane
Ring, ring, ring, ring.
Damian
Mushi mooshi bokawa. Patrick Da. Yeah, yeah. Patrick Des.
Shane
Ring, ring, ring, ring.
Damian
Mushi mooshi. Yeah, yeah. Patrick Dess. One more time, please.
Arasha
Ring, ring, ring.
Damian
Mushy mushi boku wa. Patrick.
Shane
I was prepared for you to do a spongebob.
Damian
That was. Well, that was. He was playing his clarinet and kissing a jellyfish right on its ass. Got it. Got it.
Arasha
Okay. I liked that. Well done. It was well done.
Damian
Wakari ma. Understand your accent.
Arasha
It's a. I forgot we're supposed to do fart stuff for Shane, too, for.
Shane
No. Yeah. That does remind me, though. You know, voiceover is very much Damien's bag.
Damian
Thank you.
Shane
But I've talked about this before. I tried to do voiceover for years, and I never booked a single thing. I don't even think I ever got a callback. Like, I was like, damn, this is not my bag. It's hard. It's a lot harder than I expected it to be. But I have some of my old auditions because I would just do them on my iPhone because I never. Which is probably part of the reason I never booked anything, is I never had the right equipment.
Damian
I offered for your birthday to get you a microphone. You were like, no. Instead, I'll quit.
Shane
Yeah, I see. Okay. Hold on.
Arasha
You're gonna play some old voiceover auditions?
Shane
Yeah, yeah. Hold on. Here. Here's one.
Arasha
Hi, Shane. Top five, Shane.
Shane
Top reading for soldier number three. Get out of there. Get out of there. Get out of there. Get down. Get down. Get down. These are grunts of pain. Oh.
Arasha
Oh.
Damian
Oh.
Shane
Oh. You shot me. Oh, you.
Damian
Ah.
Shane
You shot Me? Oh, you shot me. Oh, you shot me. Oh, you shot me. I look forward to hearing from you. I'm a big fan of Kingdom Hearts. That was for kingdom hearts.
Arasha
Wow.
Damian
3.
Arasha
You didn't book it.
Damian
Didn't book.
Shane
That was crazy. Well, they probably cut the roll.
Arasha
Yeah, it wasn't.
Shane
That's probably what happened.
Damian
Yeah. They didn't have any Mickey in there. No.
Arasha
So, listen, you might still hear back.
Shane
Yeah. When they bring that project back, I'll be definitely. Well, they made it. I don't know if you've played him.
Arasha
Maybe they'll make a sequel.
Shane
What do you think Kingdom Hearts is about?
Damian
Okay, here I go. All right, you guys are gonna want to dig a little bit of a sip of drink for this.
Shane
No, I want Arasha to tell me what? Kingdom Hearts.
Damian
Yeah, please.
Shane
Do you know of Kingdom Hearts?
Arasha
Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kingdom Hearts.
Shane
You are aware of the game?
Arasha
Yeah, it's about that.
Shane
Who are the characters in the game?
Arasha
Well, it's that Castle.
Damian
Mm.
Shane
Have you never heard of Kingdom hearts?
Damian
Rasha is 16 years old.
Arasha
Guys. I'm literally describing it right now. This is rude.
Shane
I guess that is crazy to think, like, Kingdom Hearts has not been much of a thing for a while. Like, mainstream.
Damian
Okay, are we doing this right here? Are we doing this right now? Shane?
Shane
I guess you're never gonna laugh again for the rest of the year.
Damian
I laughed once already.
Shane
Yeah, but I mean, once I say that Kingdom Hearts is no longer a thing, that's probably gonna be devastating.
Damian
Well, here's the thing, Shane. Spoiler alert. Kingdom Hearts is light. And how do you get to the power of light? The power of friendship? So if you're going to say that, that's not a thing. I think we're actually good here. I mean, when you think of, like, Aqua and Riku, who spent so much time in darkness to fight for the light, and Donald Duck is, up until Final Fantasy 16, canonically the strongest red mage in any Final fantasy property. And Goofy, straight up. You get what we're talking about?
Arasha
Yeah, yeah.
Damian
By a boulder.
Arasha
No, I'm just thinking about what I think about that.
Damian
That's a dumb thing to say. Go on.
Arasha
No, it's not.
Damian
Okay. See, Shane? Ciao. Rasha said, no, it's not. And I just immediately accepted it.
Arasha
You got to have more confidence in it.
Shane
What is Shane? Top reading for alien Grunt number 12.
Damian
It's not good. Pepper, Pepper.
Shane
Pepper.
Damian
Pepper.
Arasha
What is pepper?
Damian
So capsicum. Plant.
Shane
Fucking way. God damn.
Arasha
That was too quick. Holy shit.
Shane
What if that was all the buildup just for that joke. Oh, my God. That only counts as one laugh.
Arasha
I think. I think. I feel like I should get a point. Cause I alley ooped you.
Shane
No, you didn't.
Damian
Hey, thanks.
Arasha
You know, I told Damien what that plant was called before we started filming.
Damian
That's true.
Shane
Has larasha laughed a lot?
Damian
I. I laugh a lot, Shane.
Shane
Okay.
Arasha
I laughed.
Damian
I laughed and I listened.
Arasha
And I see your Damien impression now.
Damian
Yeah.
Shane
Okay. I think some. Some Damien things is like. It's like, oh, that's good.
Arasha
That's like.
Shane
That's. There's that, like when he's gonna. When he. When you talk about. When you ask him a question, it's like, what do you think about, like, voiceover?
Damian
He's just like, oh, I do mess with.
Shane
Yeah, it's like a specific, like, shoulder tug. I don't really. You don't do it as much anymore. I think you've stopped.
Damian
I think I'm more comfortable in my own skin.
Shane
Yeah.
Damian
Because I used to. Well, thank you. Because I used to be a leather craftsman and I would, like, find people and stitch them up and I'd make a people suit like a Buffalo Bill. And now I'm in my own skin. It's from Jeepers Creepers.
Shane
You know Jeepers Creepers, I turned my.
Damian
Friend into a lampshade from Kingdom Heart.
Shane
Yeah, it's the.
Damian
It's got the eyes and it's pans labyrinth.
Shane
He's like, yeah. No, we didn't just reference five different things in one sentence.
Arasha
Yeah, I don't. With you guys. Honestly. Sometimes you guys just talk and I'm just kind of tennis a little bit.
Shane
Yeah.
Arasha
And it's just like. I don't know. I like, I zone out for a second, then I come back in.
Shane
Totally.
Arasha
And then I'm like, I know the general idea of what these two were saying. So now I just get to insert something. I don't know.
Damian
The VMAs aren't really my thing.
Shane
Yeah. No. I never understood it. More of a MTV Music Awards.
Arasha
It was the hardest thing to find it on.
Shane
I know.
Arasha
How'd you guys watch it? What'd you watch it on?
Shane
That's a secret.
Arasha
What?
Shane
What?
Damian
I had a friend hold up a yak back from the 90s and piecemeal run it over to me sound by sound.
Shane
That's pretty cool.
Damian
Thank you.
Arasha
That's crazy.
Shane
You know what I saw recently that I thought was really cool looking is they had a Bluetooth.
Arasha
Damien.
Shane
Bluetooth cassette player. I thought that was really cool.
Damian
And you're the exact market for that.
Shane
I know, because I think that sounds.
Damian
Like a huge waste of time.
Arasha
A cassette player.
Damian
You know what they did? They made a jalopy that can fly.
Shane
That would be okay. That actually would be cool.
Damian
It would be pretty sick, actually.
Shane
But I don't own a. I don't own a single cassette. And I saw it and I was like, that would be sick. And I'm like, what, am I going to start buying cassettes?
Arasha
They're not making cassettes anymore.
Damian
Well, okay.
Shane
Still find them in thrift stores.
Damian
If you're in New York and walking the street and someone asks if you like hip hop, they'll usually hand you a cassette. And then you have to pay them, right?
Shane
Yeah.
Damian
And the cassette is just a thinly veiled message of them begging for help. And if you'd listen. If you'd only just listen.
Arasha
You ever made a cassette for someone?
Damian
Yeah.
Shane
Did you really?
Damian
Yeah.
Shane
You made a mix mixtape for someone back in the day?
Damian
No, not romantically, no.
Arasha
Just like bread.
Damian
When I was a little kid, I had, like, a recorder, and I was just like, welcome to the Damien show. And it was just me talking some bullshit.
Shane
Are you real? Are you dead serious?
Damian
I played it for someone and they were like, oh, this is. I don't want to listen to this anymore. And I was, yeah, for sure.
Arasha
Okay. You said recorder. And now this reminded me I have to do my impression of a recorder for you guys.
Damian
Okay, great.
Shane
Of a recorder.
Arasha
Of a recorder. Like the little.
Shane
The little.
Arasha
Yeah.
Shane
That you play.
Arasha
Music class, I'm gonna warn sound right now. This is gonna sound like death screeching until I eventually get there.
Shane
Okay?
Arasha
Okay, so let me get there. Let me find it. Let me find it.
Shane
Okay.
Arasha
Okay, here it comes. Ready? Okay, hold on, hold on. I might have to. I might have to be laying down, so we'll see if it comes out. Wait, I'm getting there. I'm getting there. I come here.
Shane
Crazy.
Damian
That's crazy.
Shane
I'm waiting for the mama bird to come in and, like, feed her worms.
Arasha
It can be better. It can be better.
Damian
No, it's. So I was about to say, like, giving hamsters cpr.
Arasha
Okay, Give me one more chance. Mary had a little lamb.
Damian
This is crazy.
Arasha
Mary had a little lamb. Okay, Mary. Okay.
Shane
Did you have to remember it?
Arasha
I'm not from America. What? Okay, hold on. I'm getting it. I'm getting it. I'm getting it.
Damian
I can see the cross buns now.
Shane
This is one of those exorcism movies.
Damian
I could do One of those.
Shane
Our audio listeners are. We're causing accidents.
Arasha
Okay, I think I have to lay down, you guys. Last time I was doing it, I was laying down.
Damian
Yeah. Rashi.
Shane
Sorry.
Damian
Look, that was a great six minutes.
Shane
But it was really fun.
Arasha
Cool, right?
Damian
I think that was actually good.
Arasha
Thank you.
Shane
When did you learn that you could do that and how.
Arasha
Recently.
Shane
What?
Arasha
A few weeks ago, I was making that sound, and then I turned it into Hot Cross Buns. And then I was like, oh, my God. This is like what we used to play in second grade in the music room. Unless you guys don't know that because you're like.
Damian
And they were like, thank you. I think we've got it. Next.
Shane
I was just about to do that joke. Yes. Of like, great, awesome. And then you were like, any notes? And they're like, none. That was great.
Damian
I think we found our co worker.
Shane
We'll be calling you. I can do walk out into a room full of people who look exactly like you, and you're like, great. I'm not special.
Arasha
Well, now I don't need the recorder. I just need to open my mouth eventually. Eventually get to that note, and then I can play.
Damian
Think of all the money you'll save on recorders.
Shane
Damien and I will do the rest of the podcast.
Damian
I've gotta. I've got an exorcism impression.
Shane
Oh, do the exorcism impression, man.
Damian
Okay. What do you want, like, a voice from beyond to say to you, oh.
Shane
You'Re doing a great job.
Damian
Great job, Shane. I love you. I miss how we used to.
Shane
Then I give you an inhaler.
Damian
Touch tips, touch tips, touch tips.
Shane
Okay. I just started listening to what you're saying, and it's shocking.
Arasha
That is haunting.
Damian
Talking is fun.
Shane
This does scare me because we are gonna go hunting for ghosts in the studio.
Damian
If you use all the ghost meat, it's fine. You have to use all the parts of the ghost. When is this happening?
Arasha
That's kinda like. That's also like the Lupita's voice from us.
Damian
Lupita Nyongo.
Arasha
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know the voice that she does when she's like the.
Damian
It's Kevin the bird, Right?
Shane
She's badass. She's like.
Arasha
Once.
Damian
I swear to God, I thought.
Shane
Oh, that's a great RFK impression, Luda. I was chopping up a whale that I found at the beach, and, you know, that's what we would do.
Arasha
That is so you, Shane.
Damian
I. I played the game medieval when I was a kid, and he had the sidekick Worm come out of his eye, and I put one in my brain to have a little comedic sidekick. Anyways, I swear, I thought you meant up, and that's why I was like Kevin the Bird. Lupita Nyong'o. That's crazy.
Arasha
No, us.
Damian
Nope.
Arasha
Us. Us.
Shane
Nope.
Arasha
Jordan Moss.
Damian
Nope.
Shane
Anyways, Arasha, did you know that Damian and I were roommates at one point?
Damian
TOD Stips.
Shane
Okay, enough of that. Enough of that.
Arasha
I don't think I did know that. But we're all serious.
Shane
We're all roommates now, but in actuality, about, like, 10 years ago, Damian and I lived together in a house.
Damian
Angela was in our attic.
Shane
Apparently, a bunch of other roommates. But, yeah, we lived in a house. And it was crazy. We lived together for, like, a little.
Arasha
Over a year in the same room.
Shane
No, I was in this back house type of thing. But I actually. It was. It was a really fun experience, but it was interesting to live with so many people because we were. We were two of, like, five people living in this place.
Damian
A rotating cast of characters.
Shane
Exactly. But, you know, with so many people, we had to have certain rules and guidelines, and I actually found what Damien gave me on my first week.
Arasha
I knew this was.
Shane
He gave me a list of. Of rules and guidelines, so I forgot about this entirely. Yeah. Damien left this on my door, and it really helped. It really helped me fit in with everyone in the place. So, Damian, if you want to read what you wrote to me, Damian's rules.
Arasha
To you, to me. For living. For living in his back house.
Shane
Well, not his back house, but the house is. We were all root. To be, like, his new roommate. To be the new roommate in this house.
Damian
In so many words. Ned's declassified survival guy.
Shane
Exactly.
Arasha
Gotcha.
Damian
I already skimmed ahead a bit, and it made me almost chuckle. And I'm nervous, so good luck. Thank you. We were actually roommates, but this is also true. Wink.
Arasha
Okay. I'm not gonna believe anything.
Damian
We were roommates. Hey, Shane. So excited you're joining the house as our new roommate. I've listed below some guidelines that'll help you fit into our living situation, as well as some rules we've established for everyone in the house to follow. It's redundant. Number one, trash is to be taken out every Tuesday. Not capitalized. We cycle through. Who's responsible. So explain. Expect to do it every four weeks. Number two, the fridge has been divided into four kingdoms. You will take over the southern kingdom. But beware, raiders from the north have been growing more violent and greedy. Best to Build your defenses and grow your alliances with the west and Eastern kingdoms. Also not capitalized.
Shane
That's actually true.
Arasha
He's really helping with the voice.
Damian
Number three, our neighbor George, who is. Dammit. Who is likely a ghoul or phantom of some kind, will sometimes appear at the front window. Do no make eye contact with him lest you pay his toll. What's the toll? Toll. Lot of bullshit if you ask me. Toll. A lot of bullshit if you ask me.
Arasha
That's a good one.
Damian
Number four, the dirty hippies have been granted 15 parking spots. Them's the brakes.
Shane
That's real.
Damian
Number five, if you hear someone screaming at 5:00am that's me doing VO auditions.
Shane
That is also real.
Damian
I realized in horror how thin my walls were.
Shane
I lived in the back house so I could hear him in the house through our backyard.
Damian
Could you hear anything else?
Shane
No.
Damian
Okay.
Arasha
Ew.
Damian
I think, like, I meant sex, Arasha.
Shane
I think it's specifically 5am because there's not much sound going. There's not cars driving. There's not like. Yeah, sound pollution at that point.
Arasha
Right.
Shane
So I'd wake up and hear just like, you gotta, gotta stop doing that.
Damian
So you didn't book, that's why.
Arasha
Yeah, yeah. To be able to do your recorder impression on the fly on a mic.
Shane
Okay, continue.
Arasha
More rules?
Damian
Yeah.
Shane
Oh, a lot of rules.
Damian
Number six, if we play N64, you get the sticky controller.
Shane
Also real.
Damian
One of.
Shane
Yeah, that's true. They were all sticky.
Arasha
Ew.
Damian
Number seven, I have a knife. Number eight, never open a cupboard unless you want it to. Unless you want it to break. Every cupboard is one time use only.
Shane
Also very.
Damian
I forgot about that.
Shane
Every cupboard was busted in this place. You would open it just like turn and just fall off.
Arasha
Where, where was it?
Damian
East Hollywood.
Shane
East Hollywood.
Damian
Well, the cupboard's in the kitchen.
Shane
The house was. The house was about a hundred years old.
Damian
So was George.
Shane
George was lit. George was also a real person.
Damian
George was a ripe age of 80 when he watched that house.
Arasha
Can't believe any of that. What's the watermark on this?
Damian
Oh, no. I almost brought this up to you. You.
Arasha
What's happening?
Damian
Ricky Gervais.
Shane
There it is.
Damian
Pepper.
Arasha
I I on the pepper. Just I don't know it.
Damian
Okay. German for pepper is Pfeffer. They just had an F. Yeah. Number nine, the garage is Michelle Pfeffer. She was so hot in Ricky Gervais Picture Show.
Shane
I really liked her in that picture show.
Damian
Anyways, number nine, the garage is technically rented out by a secret fifth tenant. Can you guess who it is? That's correct. Mike Posner. And you want to know why Mike Posner is in the garage? Because he made eye contact with George. Not so cool now, are you, Mr. Bow chicka wow Wow.
Shane
I was really proud of that one.
Arasha
It's good. It's good.
Shane
Do you remember him?
Arasha
Mike Posner? Yeah, of course.
Shane
And I listed his two songs. Well, he had one other.
Damian
He thinks he's.
Arasha
Oh, what's the other one?
Shane
He had cooler than me. He had Baby, Please Don't Go.
Arasha
Baby, Please.
Shane
And then Bow Chicka wow wow. And he's just been writing hits since. But other people perform them.
Damian
I took up.
Shane
He's like the Phantom of the Opera.
Damian
I bet. Well, because he's got. His face is all up and he loves that lady.
Shane
Yeah.
Arasha
Who? Who? Which lady?
Shane
Michelle Pfeffer.
Damian
Michelle Pfeffer is there.
Shane
It was that. That was the final rule, right?
Damian
Number 10, buy me in and out.
Shane
There it is.
Damian
Yeah. You know, I haven't had in and out since we were roommates.
Shane
Really?
Damian
No.
Shane
Wow.
Damian
I have.
Shane
Oh, okay.
Damian
We've had it together.
Shane
That's true.
Damian
I opened up to you about my childhood.
Shane
That is true.
Damian
Which was good.
Arasha
This is such an interesting dynamic to sit in between.
Damian
Arasha, tell me a fun story about your childhood.
Arasha
Let's see. A fun story about my childhood is. So when I moved. Moved to America and I was like three or four or something.
Damian
Kobe, you okay?
Shane
I was trying to hit the camera. I thought that would have been cool.
Arasha
Why?
Shane
Like Jimmy Fallon in Weekend Update. I see when he throw the pencil.
Damian
You'Re not drunk enough.
Shane
It's true.
Arasha
When I was a. When I was a kid, my family immigrated to America. I only spoke Hindi, and I got in front of my classroom and my teacher told me to, like, I don't know, introduce myself, I guess, or something. But I didn't speak English, so I didn't know what she was saying and I didn't know what to actually say. So instead I just started saying the plot of my favorite movie, all in Hindi.
Shane
What was your favorite movie?
Damian
It's called all in Hindi. Weren't you listening?
Shane
Sorry. I apologize, Rush. I was not listening.
Arasha
Yeah, that's okay.
Damian
That's why God gave us one mouth and two ears.
Shane
Whoa.
Damian
And two assholes for dual shittery. Sorry, Rash. I didn't mean to take your spotlight.
Shane
Okay.
Arasha
No, it's okay.
Shane
What actually is your.
Damian
Mine comes out like a double helix. Go on.
Arasha
Well, it was my favorite movie at the time. When I was a kid, it was my family's. Favorite movie. It was this Bollywood movie called Adna Zapna apna. And I started saying the plot of the entire movie in Hindi. And then when my mom came and picked me up, she was like, how'd she do? And the teacher was like, we don't know. We're not really sure because she just got up in front of the class. How old were you speaking in Hindi? Like, three.
Shane
Oh, wow.
Arasha
So like, five years ago.
Shane
Right.
Damian
You can finally both.
Shane
How quickly did you learn? Because, like, at 3, you can learn English. Like. Like, you learn languages. Like, nothing when you're three years old.
Damian
Yeah. Your biggest accomplishment is just like, whatever.
Arasha
Yeah. Do you guys speak any other languages?
Shane
I've tried body.
Arasha
You can try harder.
Damian
Body talk.
Shane
Body language. I've often on with Spanish my whole life, and I just. I'm just terrible at it.
Arasha
Yeah.
Shane
Just really bad at it. Yep. I suck.
Damian
Check out this gringo.
Arasha
You don't suck.
Damian
I suck.
Shane
No, I needed to. I need to like you, frankly. I need to, like, move to another country.
Damian
Yeah.
Shane
And. And go through that and. And explain the plot of. Of.
Damian
Okay, but when I screamed that at.
Shane
You, forest gump to a bunch of people who don't speak English and then be like, I need to figure this out.
Damian
I could learn Hindi if you give me about panch minut and then.
Arasha
Okay. It's pretty good. Oh, I wouldn't laugh at you for saying that.
Shane
How about a year from now, we do an episode entirely in Hindi and then we just see who did. Who learned the best. Like, Damian and I. And then, like, you judge and then we just. We just do that.
Arasha
I could probably, like, write you guys up, like, a little script and you'd be able to say it. We just go through it in, like, a hind English kind of way.
Shane
Are you still fully. You're fully fluent?
Arasha
I mean, I wouldn't say, like, fully fluent. Like, I can't write in the scripture, but yeah, like, if. If somebody else is speaking it, I would be able to keep up with them. I'd be able to give them directions or have a conversation with them.
Shane
Okay.
Arasha
Yeah.
Shane
That's awesome.
Arasha
I mean, it's. It's good.
Shane
Yeah. No, that's. To know another language is sick as hell.
Arasha
I've also. I would. I would also describe my relationship with Spanish as like a little on and off. It feels a little stronger some days than others, you know? But it always comes.
Damian
See? Verdad.
Shane
Did you know what he said?
Arasha
He said. Right. Did you know what he said?
Shane
Yeah.
Damian
Masomenos.
Arasha
More or less.
Shane
Un poquito a little.
Arasha
Un poquito mas a little more. Mm.
Shane
Wow. I hope our listeners can speak Spanish or else they're gonna be very confused.
Arasha
Well, I'm trans.
Shane
I guess that's true. Well, I hope they can speak English as well. I. I have a slight suspicion that most of our listeners don't speak English because if they could understand what we're saying, they would be like.
Arasha
They'd be like, what is this? Why is that happening?
Damian
Yeah, they're like, we don't know what pepper is. Can you move on?
Shane
There was a. There was a. Sorry, change the subject really quick. There was a Reddit post a while back where someone said that their, like, grandmother or someone in Japan was watching Reddit stories to, like, help them learn it. Like, oh, yeah, learns about English. I was like, that's so crazy.
Damian
It's great because I do know most of the things we say on that are, like, at a, you know, five year old, six year old level. So that makes it a little bit easier to learn. Cause I. I knew a somebody who had immigrated from Germany and was working as a friend's babysitter, and she would watch like, Charlie Brown just to, like. Cause, you know, it's for kids and.
Shane
Reddit stories is about Charlie Brown level.
Arasha
Right. Did you guys know that there's. I'm sure they do it in other places as well, but I just have seen the Hindi versions. They will take, like, Disney Channel shows and basically just like, recast an Indian cast and just change all the names to, like, make it an Indian thing, but use the exact same plot and the exact same script.
Shane
That's kind of awesome.
Arasha
Oh, it's amazing.
Shane
I want to watch these.
Arasha
So good luck Charlie is good luck Nikki again. Exactly.
Damian
I feel like that one didn't need to be changed then.
Arasha
Um, what do you mean? Like, Charlie would be able to be an Indian name too.
Damian
Is Nikki a traditionally Indian name as well?
Arasha
Uh, I mean, I guess it can be.
Shane
That'd be really funny if it's all. It's like, good luck Becky.
Arasha
It's like, okay, well, I think Nikki is. I'm not sure, but it's. It can be the shorter version of Nikita.
Damian
Got it.
Shane
Cool.
Damian
I did suspect that after I said it.
Arasha
Yeah, yeah.
Shane
What was Hannah Montana? They had to have done Hannah Montana.
Arasha
I don't know. I know. They also did Suite Life of Zack and Cody because it's the Suite Life of Kabir and Kumar.
Shane
That's fucking awesome.
Arasha
I think so.
Damian
Hana Kashmir.
Arasha
Maybe.
Damian
Maybe, Maybe.
Arasha
Yeah.
Shane
That's so fun. How many seasons did these do the whole show?
Arasha
They literally just copy it over.
Shane
That's fucking awesome.
Arasha
It's awesome. We should watch.
Shane
I would be so doub to watch. It's so incredible.
Damian
They did do that here, though. They call it muzzy.
Shane
What?
Damian
Muzzy. The language learning thing for kids. Oh, I thought you'd get the muzzy.
Arasha
I'm not sure if it's, like, appropriately for, like, to. To teach at another level. It's just for entertaining.
Shane
It's just money.
Arasha
And they're like, oh, they're making money over in America. Let's just make this exact same thing.
Shane
So cool.
Damian
They did that with the Steve Carell show that he got famous from.
Shane
Yeah, the Office. Britain Ripped it from America. Did the Office over in Britain. Same with the Bachelor. Same with, you know, all sorts of stuff. Yeah, they rip off.
Arasha
It's hard to come up with original stuff.
Shane
Yeah. You know, like, we drink coffee, and so Britain was like, we need our version. So they started drinking tea. That was.
Damian
They always changed the name, though. The Bachelor became Squibbly Wibbly Pibbly Stibblies Patronum.
Shane
Yeah. And we had the Food Network, and they're like, Great British Bake Off. That's totally ripped from us.
Damian
Yeah, we had the Food Network, and then they just took all of Indian cuisine from an Indian food show, and we're like, this is British food. That's good, right? They're always like, british food is good. And be sure to check me out at mcm. London Comic Con.
Shane
Yeah. After talking that shit, they're not gonna let you in. Okay, I've been alerted that it's been 60 minutes, and that means the game is over.
Arasha
All right, Let your laughs out.
Shane
You guys all right? No, I let them all out in.
Damian
The middle of it.
Shane
Selena, what is. Tally had four laughs. You laughed four times, loser.
Arasha
Barely. I just gave it to you. So I didn't look like a cone. Stol.
Shane
Cone. Stol cream.
Damian
I could go for some Teddy Glams in a. In a Sweet queen.
Arasha
And those count.
Shane
No, go ahead and lock them in. We're done.
Damian
We're done.
Arasha
Lock them in. Yeah, I'll take a water.
Damian
They don't count.
Shane
Jesus. 11.
Damian
But that's what made the episode change. If none of us laughed over sucked.
Arasha
I. I laughed four times. I gave it to them. And Damien laughed three times.
Damian
And there were pity laughs. No, I'm kidding. Whoa.
Shane
Well, you guys did as well as I expected. Damn. Damien pulling out with the win by one laugh.
Damian
Thank you. Wow. Well, what can I say? I'm still gonna get you guys treats, okay?
Arasha
Oh, that's right. Here.
Damian
I don't want that. I really actually don't want.
Shane
See, that's actually why I started. That's why I started laughing because I didn't want that shit.
Arasha
There you go.
Damian
Yeah, no, we said something worth five. That's actually so gross. I can actually see the hair. That's so gross.
Arasha
Comment down below, how much you would pay for this? And if it's at least $5, then I get to give this to Damien.
Damian
We're auction this off for charity. Yeah. And if you are a terrifying person in a basement thinking, this is my time, it's time to drain the bank account.
Arasha
Listen for good listen. Let me hear it from all my long haired. Everybody's this happens, okay? You get a little bit of hair tie. Look, I will not be shamed today.
Damian
That's not the problem.
Shane
That's not the problem at all.
Damian
I shit in the toilet and I wipe and it's like, oh, my toilet paper. Like everyone does it. It's like, yeah, but you throw it away or you keep it to yourself. I keep mine in my pocket.
Arasha
Well, what if I want to show everybody that this is normal and I want to put my hair out there for good?
Shane
It was great having both of you on. This was awful.
Arasha
That sucks.
Damian
I don't think this was as good as the Spencer episode. I'm just gonna say I was told Amanda would be here.
Shane
Okay, guys, we gotta go. Thank you both for being here and thank you for watching. Get out of here.
Damian
Shout out Mike Posner.
Shane
Shout out Mike Posner.
Damian
By the Macklemore of Mike Posner.
Arasha
How much do you want for this? No, how much?
Damian
I will give you everything in my pocket right now. To not give that to anybody in this office and throw it away. I don't think you're allowed to do that. I don't think you're allowed.
Ryan Seacrest
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Shane
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Smosh Mouth: Episode #64 - Try Not To Laugh: The Podcast with Damian & Arasha
Release Date: September 30, 2024
In Episode #64 of Smosh Mouth, titled "Try Not To Laugh: The Podcast with Damian & Arasha," hosts Shane Topp (referred to as Shane or "short") and Amanda Lehan-Canto (known as Arasha or "tall") team up with recurring guests Damian and Arasha for a hilariously challenging edition of their popular game: "Try Not To Laugh." This episode dives deep into the dynamics of their friendship, personal anecdotes, impressions, and the ever-entertaining attempts to keep a straight face amidst rapid-fire humor.
Shane kickstarts the episode by explaining the premise: initiating a "Try Not To Laugh" game with Damian and Arasha, both known for their resilience against laughter.
Shane [00:43]: "I feel like you both are the hardest to break."
Damian [01:15]: "We're very dry. I call this the dry goods."
To motivate participation, the group devises a unique prize system where each member contributes a $5 item into a "potluck." The winner gets to choose a gift from the collective pool, adding stakes to the competitive spirit.
A significant portion of the early conversation revolves around acting classes, with Shane sharing his mixed experiences and frustrations:
Damian opens up about his struggles in an acting class, highlighting how his neurodivergent thinking clashed with traditional acting techniques.
Arasha expresses her desire for acting classes to focus more on the technical aspects of the profession, such as submitting auditions and self-taping.
Before diving into the game, the hosts solidify the rules and prize contributions:
After humorous banter about past prizes, they agree to each contribute a $5 item, ensuring a fair and engaging competition.
As the "Try Not To Laugh" game commences, the conversation becomes a whirlwind of jokes, impersonations, and playful skits:
The group discusses recent events like the VMAs, with Shane and Arasha praising performances by Chapel Roan and Sabrina Carpenter.
They transition into impersonating characters, including a mock scene from the Christmas movie "Spirited," showcasing their comedic timing and chemistry.
Damian's Impression [11:31 - 12:00]:
"Spirited interior, corporate office, Christmas time. Clint Briggs. Ryan Reynolds is typing furiously at his cubicle..."
Throughout the gameplay, the hosts perform various impressions, including Damian's take on a Japanese dub of SpongeBob, and Arasha's attempt at a recorder sound effect, eliciting genuine laughter and playful competition.
Damian [33:22]: "Mushi mooshi bokawa. Patrick Da."
Arasha [42:02]: Attempts a recorder sound, leading to uncontrollable laughter.
Interwoven with the gameplay are personal stories and inside jokes that deepen the listeners' connection to the hosts:
Shane [46:35]: Reflects on past roommate experiences with Damian, highlighting the camaraderie and unique living arrangements.
Arasha [53:09]: Shares a childhood anecdote about introducing herself in a classroom in Hindi, adding a heartfelt touch to the episode.
The conversation also delves into linguistic humor, cultural references, and playful teasing, such as discussing Hindi versions of popular American TV shows.
The hosts explore the concept of language adaptation in media, touching upon how Indian versions of shows like The Suite Life of Zack and Cody and Hannah Montana are reimagined for local audiences.
The discussion highlights the blend of humor and cultural insights, enriching the episode's depth.
As the episode nears its conclusion, the hosts tally their laughs:
Shane: "You laughed four times, loser."
Damian: "Selena, what is. Tally had four laughs. You laughed four times, loser."
Despite the competitive edge, the atmosphere remains light-hearted and supportive. Damian announces his participation in MCC London Comic Con, inviting listeners to join the festivities.
The episode wraps up with a humorous reflection on their performance, acknowledging Shane's win by a narrow margin.
Shane [04:06]: "Every acting coach is gonna tell you, don't do what that last acting coach said."
Damian [05:02]: Discussing neurodivergence in acting classes.
Arasha [57:31]: On Hindi adaptations of TV shows.
Shane [33:10]: Initiating the Japanese SpongeBob impression: "Can you give me, like, two seconds to just prepare for this?"
Episode #64 of Smosh Mouth masterfully balances humor with heartfelt conversations, offering listeners a glimpse into the hosts' personal lives and creative dynamics. Through shared stories, playful competitions, and genuine camaraderie, Shane, Arasha, Damian, and Arasha create an engaging and entertaining experience that resonates with both longtime fans and newcomers alike. Whether you're an avid listener or tuning in for the first time, this episode promises laughter, relatable moments, and the unique charm that defines Smosh Mouth.