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Tommy
Ch, ch, ch.
Shane
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Amanda
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Shane
No purchase necessary VGW Group void where prohibited by law 21 terms and cond. Hi, welcome to Smosh Mouth. I'm Shane.
Amanda
And I'm Amanda. Very happy to be back here with my wonderful friend Shane. Why do I sound like a news reporter? Hi, Tommy.
Tommy
I sound like a news reporter.
Amanda
Yeah.
Shane
And also Tommy's here.
Tommy
And also Tommy, am I your wonderful friend?
Amanda
Special guest.
Shane
Wonderful friend.
Amanda
I like you a little bit more.
Shane
It's crazy to be doing this podcast normally again. I feel like you haven't been here. I haven't been here. We've been doing a lot of experimenting.
Amanda
Pod together in a long time. But you've been here every day, even when we're not shooting.
Tommy
Yeah. I sit and look at the table and go, I wish they were back together one day.
Amanda
They will.
Shane
We open the door to the studio and we just see you in here in the dark by yourself. It's like.
Tommy
It's like I'm waiting for a shoe release or something. People outside of the store, I'm just sitting there like one day.
Amanda
Why do they wait? People like shoes so long.
Tommy
They like shoes.
Amanda
And there's so many security guards. So many security guards.
Tommy
Shoes are expensive. For fun.
Amanda
Come on.
Shane
I like shoes, but not enough.
Tommy
I like that shoes exist.
Shane
Oh, yeah.
Tommy
I prefer to have something underneath my feet.
Amanda
Yeah.
Shane
And I love that people love stuff to that degree.
Tommy
Yeah.
Amanda
I don't know if I love that, but I can appreciate it.
Shane
Okay.
Tommy
That's such a non committal answer.
Amanda
I can appreciate it.
Shane
Kind of people who are into things. Cause that's the same with comic book shops in la. Yeah. Sometimes you'll see people outside waiting for the shop to open for all sorts of things. I'm assuming also maybe magic cards. Brennan, like, would that be like there's releases like that?
Amanda
Brennan's like, nah.
Shane
Brennan's like, I don't give a shit, man.
Amanda
Yeah. He's like, stop talking to me. I'm not here.
Shane
It's all online.
Amanda
It's all online.
Shane
But Brennan Will be waiting outside of the camera store when a new camera comes out.
Tommy
A new, old camera.
Amanda
A brand new old, old camera from 1976.
Shane
The new 1940. 40 camera, actually. That'd be sick.
Amanda
That's actually cool. I really appreciate that.
Tommy
Okay.
Amanda
Sneakers. Thank you. The sneakers.
Tommy
I'm like, I'll do it for a Wii.
Shane
A Wii. Yeah, I remember a Nintendo Wii.
Amanda
Yeah, I know what a Wii is.
Tommy
Remember the Wii?
Shane
Remember the Wii? Did you wait outside for the Wii?
Tommy
No. But that happened, didn't it?
Shane
Yeah.
Amanda
Yeah.
Tommy
Riveting podcasting at 9am well, that probably.
Shane
Happened, though, for sure. Actually, what we're doing on this podcast today is we're playing Never have I.
Amanda
Ever, which is really fun.
Shane
This was a pitch from Selena. Selena was like, I want you guys to play Never have I ever. And we said, yeah.
Amanda
And we said, yeah. Because the last time I played Never have I Ever, I think, was in college.
Tommy
Wow.
Amanda
And it was very fun. Thank you.
Shane
I guess we never. We haven't really done this on Smosh.
Amanda
Never have we ever done this on.
Shane
No, we've done a lot of. Like, we used to back in the day on Smosh Pit, we'd do, like, spin the bottle type of challenge. What?
Amanda
Why wasn't I cast?
Tommy
Cause you were.
Shane
We cut, like, three minutes of footage there, but it was really.
Tommy
It was really good.
Amanda
Oh, it was all flagged. All flagged. So never have I ever.
Shane
Oh, yeah.
Amanda
So you guys used to play spin the bottle on Pit.
Shane
We did it, like, a couple times, and we do kind of challenges that you look back and it's like, that was a little cringey. We did that.
Amanda
Did you kiss?
Shane
I can't remember. I think. I think. I think that was an option. I think. I think it was an option. When it came up, we were like, we're not gonna do that. I think.
Amanda
So there's no kissing.
Tommy
Okay.
Amanda
I would have switched off immediately from that channel. Bye.
Tommy
Never mind.
Shane
Yeah, never mind.
Amanda
Anyways.
Shane
But no, I don't think we ever did. Never have I ever. Because it's very podcasty. Like, it's just more conversational. Yeah. I surprised. We never even did it on show with no Name, which was like, kind of our podcast back in the day.
Tommy
Free form.
Shane
Yeah. But I definitely played a lot of Never have I Ever with friends back in the day. It was just a popular thing, hanging out. I think I won a lot because.
Tommy
You know, that means that you don't live a life.
Shane
I was lame. I was. As a teenager, I was really lame. Like, and I. You know, it's just like, anything involving. Like, anything. Anything involving anything sexual, I just, like, yeah. Oh, for sure. Oh, God damn.
Amanda
And people are like, I'm gonna put down two fingers for that one.
Shane
Oh, I've really done that. Whoa. I did that so hard that it's my whole hand down. No. It was always embarrassing as fuck. I hated it.
Tommy
Leo, you've lived a full life.
Amanda
I have.
Shane
I feel like.
Tommy
And you're finished.
Amanda
I have it now. I'm finished.
Tommy
You're all done.
Amanda
Go to my gravesite just fine.
Tommy
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amanda
I'm happy it can end now.
Tommy
There you go.
Amanda
Thank you.
Tommy
Mm.
Shane
Okay, well, we have a bunch here that Selena helped make for us. I think we've all been thinking of them for the past day.
Amanda
Tommy, you've been thinking of them.
Tommy
I've been trying. It's like I've both lived a very full experience, and then there's, like, some fundamental things that, like, most people have done that I'm like, well, we didn't do that.
Shane
It doesn't have to be crazy. It can be, like, mundane things.
Amanda
I also. I came up with some that are specific to you two sitting at the table.
Shane
Let's begin with some of these. Okay.
Amanda
First, let's go over the base rules. How many fingers are we holding up? Five.
Shane
I think it's just five.
Tommy
Eleven.
Amanda
Eleven? You have eleven?
Shane
Never have I ever had eleven fingers.
Amanda
Well, I kept it in this place just for this game. Aww.
Shane
It's like Voldemort. On the back of the thumb is another finger.
Amanda
Ew.
Shane
Okay.
Tommy
Yummy.
Shane
Five. Five fingers we hold up, and then whoever is remaining, whoever has, like, a finger up last gets a point. Selena will be keeping tabs.
Amanda
Got it.
Shane
So each. Each hand is, like, a whole round kind of thing.
Amanda
And we win.
Shane
We'll play a bunch.
Amanda
A hot dog.
Shane
You're cool.
Tommy
Yeah.
Shane
Whoa.
Tommy
You're cool if you haven't done things. Yeah, that was my problem with this game.
Shane
No, the game.
Tommy
It's like, you won.
Shane
And they're like, no, the game is 100%.
Amanda
You won't. You haven't done.
Tommy
You shouldn't do something.
Shane
I love how there's so many games that exist just because as a teenager, we're afraid to just be like, hey, you want to make out? Like, Right? That's all it is.
Amanda
Of course. It's way more fun that way.
Shane
That's 100%.
Tommy
I know, but it's got to do a little dance.
Shane
Exactly. Okay.
Tommy
All right. Hands are.
Shane
Hands are up. All right, we're all going to lose on this one. Maybe I'm not. Maybe.
Amanda
Maybe we put our finger down. If we have done it.
Shane
If you have done it. All right. Never have I ever googled myself.
Amanda
Oh, oh, absolutely.
Tommy
Of course. I gotta know what's going on.
Amanda
Absolutely. I gotta know what's going on in my relationship because the Internet clearly knows how my marriage is going.
Shane
I gotta know my famous birthday.
Amanda
What's Your famous birthday?
Shane
September 14th. It's my famous birthday.
Amanda
They got it right.
Tommy
I got a text message from a friend who's also a YouTuber person and was like, sorry, your famous birthday, you're being beat by like a three year old. It was like pictures of the famous birthday and there's like this tiny little like, Rebecca. And I'm like, who's that?
Shane
Anyway, I'm never gonna be the most famous person born on my birthday, cuz Amy Winehouse was born on September 14th and that's. That's legendary status. So it's like, yeah, but I'm okay. That's. That's awesome.
Amanda
Sorry.
Tommy
Rebecca was born on my birthday. I don't know if you've heard of Rebecca.
Amanda
And we love Rebecca.
Shane
Oh my God, Rebecca.
Amanda
Rebecca's incredible. She's amazing.
Shane
Huge fan of Rebecca.
Amanda
Actually, we tried to get her for this episode and she was like, I'm too busy. And we were like, I.
Shane
She's busy campaigning, I'm too busy.
Tommy
And she's smashing a rattle on the ground. Yes. I've googled myself.
Amanda
Unfortunately, this position's really hard to hold your thumb in.
Tommy
Yeah, no, my index finger is like, ow. Can I do this?
Amanda
Yeah, we can do this.
Tommy
This feels good.
Amanda
This feels like a teenager when they're out with their mom and they're just like, they're like, okay. They're like, life literally sucks, but they have claws around their hand. You guys get it, right?
Tommy
I have a family member who is that girl?
Amanda
Really? It's just like, hey, Tommy, happy Thanksgiving.
Tommy
I'm like, hey, how you doing? And they're like, I'm gonna say there because I think that's the trajectory. And they're like, hold up.
Shane
No, I know, I know.
Tommy
I can spot one from a mile away. They're gonna be fucking awesome. They're an incredible illustrator. They're so fucking cool. But they're like, they're like, let's go out to eat. And they're like, hey, how are you doing? And they're like, it's fine. I'm like, hey, you doing good? How's school? Like, okay. Never mind.
Amanda
Never mind.
Tommy
Never mind. Yes, exactly.
Shane
And they're always. But I always feel bad for them because I've had them in my family in the past. They've aged out of that era, but I get it because they're surrounded by, like, people who are all 20 years older than them.
Tommy
Exactly.
Shane
Who are the most outgoing, loud people. And I'm like, you just don't want.
Amanda
To be like, you want a glass of wine and play some cards.
Shane
I just don't understand what his problem is.
Amanda
Yeah. And he's sitting right there just like, curse on your family.
Shane
Yeah. You're into. What's that cartoon called? Clarence.
Amanda
Yeah.
Shane
I don't know what he's into, but he likes that stuff.
Amanda
Why do they do that?
Shane
Like, just leave him alone.
Amanda
Yeah. He likes to stand against a wall, doesn't talk to anyone. Isn't that right, Michael?
Tommy
Michael's like, yeah, yeah, shut up, dad. Well, okay. Thumbs down. I got a thumb down.
Shane
Okay.
Amanda
Okay.
Shane
I had one that I thought of. Never have I ever had an imaginary friend.
Amanda
Oh, absolutely.
Shane
You had an imaginary friend.
Amanda
100%.
Shane
What was her name, boy?
Tommy
Bob. Bob. Bob.
Amanda
His name was Bob.
Shane
Okay.
Amanda
He's a very tall. No last name.
Tommy
Wow.
Amanda
Just Bob didn't speak. But we, like, telekinetically spoke to each other.
Shane
Okay.
Amanda
He's a big, tall, very thin, very long, long bear.
Tommy
Okay.
Amanda
But he's not, like, thick. He's, like, long and lanky, and he's goofy.
Shane
A long, skinny bear.
Amanda
Yes.
Shane
That's terrifying. That's the most horrifying shit I've ever heard before.
Amanda
To my brain.
Shane
What did he sound like?
Tommy
Was he made of smoke and moved through walls and stuff?
Amanda
He didn't talk? No, he didn't talk. But he kept being like, I'm not even making this up.
Tommy
How old were you when this was? When Bob was around 17?
Amanda
Yeah. 34. I don't remember. A long time ago. I think I forgot about him. And then I had a therapy session or something, and then it came up, and I was like, major deja vu. And I was like, oh, my God, there's my imaginary friend that I had when I was a kid.
Shane
Bob the bear. Who's skinny and tall.
Amanda
Yeah. And he was just. He's very, very sarcastic, but, like, he didn't talk, but I knew what he.
Shane
Was saying, and he was a good.
Amanda
Guy, very sweet, very funny, and would always be like, chill out. That was always. His vibe was like, chill out. He wasn't like, are you okay? He was never like that.
Tommy
He was like, I Like that.
Amanda
You're fine. Chill out. That was his vibes.
Shane
We like Bob the Bear.
Amanda
Yeah. It was never like a princess or anything. It was a tall, skinny bear who wore no clothes, but it didn't matter.
Shane
Well, he was a bear.
Amanda
Yeah.
Tommy
I feel like I had one, but I can't really remember. I used to, like, put my hands up like this and pretend it was a rabbit. Does that count?
Shane
No, that's not imaginary. That's your real hair.
Tommy
Cause that's my real hair.
Shane
Whoa.
Amanda
Whoa.
Shane
Cause like, I had like teddy bears and stuff that, like. But I'd play pretend where I'm like talking to him. But I knew it wasn't real. I'm talking like a fully.
Tommy
I knew it wasn't real. Look at you.
Amanda
I'm like.
Shane
But I knew it was stupid.
Amanda
It's real.
Shane
I knew it was stupid. For stupid kid.
Amanda
He lives in the mountains.
Shane
And I was a smart kid.
Amanda
Okay. Didn't you wish that you had wings or something when you were a kid? I did. Let's go back to that.
Shane
No, I was dumb too.
Amanda
Wouldn't you, like, think that you could be in a cocoon and that you could turn into a butterfly?
Shane
I did an experiment. I had a hypothesis.
Amanda
Correct.
Shane
A hypothesis is different.
Amanda
I discovered this on dirty. We discovered this on dirty laundry at dropout. And I was like.
Shane
It was very funny.
Amanda
Mind blown.
Shane
But no, I never had a full on imaginary friend like that I would talk to and like, made up.
Amanda
Oh, I was Bob the Bears. Interestingly, I talked to a lot of things that weren't there. My mom was like, great. She doesn't need toys or anything. She's busy. Let me go get her. She has a meeting. Did you have an imaginary friend or no.
Tommy
No.
Amanda
Okay.
Tommy
I was a very smart and cool kid.
Amanda
Okay, well, you guys can fuck off.
Shane
No, I had a job.
Amanda
Yeah. Jesus.
Tommy
I've got one that'll knock a finger off of both of you immediately. Whoa. Are you ready?
Amanda
Well, please, because I cannot handle doing this anymore.
Tommy
I'm about to relieve your. I'm about to relieve your hand.
Amanda
Thank you.
Tommy
Never have I ever been married.
Amanda
Ha ha. Oh, you're dumb. Ha ha.
Tommy
I'm alone.
Amanda
How do I put down three?
Tommy
Ha ha. No one loves me like that.
Amanda
Stop.
Tommy
No, I'm kidding.
Shane
Stop.
Tommy
Stop it.
Amanda
Stop it.
Tommy
Hey, honey, who I love so much. My guest is really sad and alone.
Amanda
It was really good. Just Tommy really brought it down hard.
Shane
Yeah, it's true.
Amanda
We are married. Wow.
Shane
That's pretty cool.
Amanda
We're both married.
Tommy
I was like, okay, how can I get their fingers down? And I was like hurt my back the other yesterday. So I was just like sitting, laying down with my heating pad, going married. So that's what I feel.
Amanda
Damn it, I'm gonna lose this round.
Shane
One of those days again where I completely forgot my wedding ring. I straight up. It's just in a catch all near my.
Tommy
Yeah, your little.
Shane
Like, I was running late. Okay. So I'm like.
Amanda
It's so funny because I haven't said anything, but you are spiraling and unraveling right now.
Shane
I know. I just, I just am I. No, I'm thinking about. Cause the fans are always like, where's his wedding ring? And I'm like, it's just simple. It's at home.
Amanda
You don't sleep with your wedding ring on.
Shane
No, neither do I. I don't love rings. Like, I was never a ring person. I like, I do like the look of the wedding ring.
Tommy
Shouldn't have gotten married then.
Amanda
Yeah, shouldn't have gotten married then. Kelly.
Shane
That was the big fuck up. No, I've been meaning to kind of put it on a necklace.
Amanda
You should.
Shane
No, like Frodo.
Amanda
Like Frodo. I, I. When I forget my ring, I feel it. I feel like naked and alone. Just kidding.
Shane
Yeah, I'm. I'm getting there. It's starting to be weird if I don't have it, but it's okay.
Amanda
I actually didn't notice.
Shane
I don't think people really now.
Amanda
I'm not.
Shane
Some of our fans notice.
Amanda
Fans notice.
Tommy
And fans at home. If he's not wearing it, there's a problem.
Amanda
And take that into account. It's not like in movies where you're just like. Like, if I'm in a fight with Guardian, I'm not like, this is coming off. Take it back. No, I'm like, okay, let's talk about this.
Tommy
Figure this out.
Amanda
We have to. Okay. What do I have down? Oh, cool. This is fun.
Shane
Do you have one, two left?
Amanda
I have one. Yeah, this is kind of whatever. I'm gonna do it first. I don't care.
Tommy
Still have four fingers left. Try and get me.
Amanda
Okay. Never have I ever fake laughed at one of these people at the table.
Shane
Okay.
Amanda
Whoa. Thinking about it. Awesome.
Tommy
Never have laughed.
Amanda
I never have fake laughed at either of you.
Tommy
Fake laughed.
Amanda
I can't say for the rest of smosh, but I'm talking about this table.
Shane
Specifically this table.
Amanda
It's okay. Just be honest.
Tommy
You can be honest.
Amanda
We've had to do try not to laugh.
Shane
That's What I'm thinking. I'm thinking I have to put a finger down because I feel like at some point in the hundreds of jokes we've done, I've done it because I'm like, it's. It'll be funnier in the moment if I laugh.
Tommy
I think. I think I have to put a finger down too.
Amanda
For laugh. Yeah, of course.
Shane
Yeah. I try not to.
Tommy
I also try not to.
Shane
I try not to. I really try not to laugh. Yeah. But there are moments where I'm like, this is really funny, but I could. I could not laugh. But I'm gonna laugh because it deserves it.
Amanda
This is why. This is why I brought it up, because I feel like specifically for you two, I don't know if I've fake laughed because I feel like you would both know it and see it in my eyes, and it would be.
Tommy
I don't know what it would.
Amanda
It would be harder. I don't know what it would look like.
Tommy
Can you try?
Amanda
It's like when you're watching a comedy show and you want to give them energy but you don't have enough. So it's like.
Tommy
Yeah, I would hate that if you would drive a.
Amanda
Rather you laugh. I know. So I wouldn't. So I just don't, I guess.
Shane
Is it fake laugh or is it that I'm making a laugh? Like, oh, I'm laughing a little bit, but I'm gonna make it more right.
Amanda
I think it's an actual laugh that's.
Tommy
Like you're pushing behind it.
Shane
I don't know if I've done that.
Amanda
See, you can push on a laugh that starts from funny.
Tommy
I don't think I laugh at something that isn't funny.
Amanda
Well, it's out of, like.
Tommy
No, I know what you're prompting. I'm still gonna put a finger down.
Shane
I'm put a finger down.
Amanda
Just because I put a finger down.
Shane
I wouldn't be able to remember.
Amanda
I love that.
Shane
I feel like maybe this will get you.
Amanda
Okay.
Shane
I think this is maybe. Never have I ever spilled spaghetti on myself.
Amanda
Oh, 100%.
Shane
I've never spilled spaghetti on myself.
Amanda
What?
Shane
Not spaghetti.
Amanda
Are you wearing, like, a full napkin bib?
Tommy
No, he wouldn't have to because he hasn't spilled spaghetti on me.
Shane
I've spilled spaghetti on myself.
Tommy
He's wearing an all white outfit, actually.
Shane
Whoa.
Tommy
Slurping it up.
Shane
I'm wearing spaghetti all the time.
Tommy
When did you. What made you think of spilling spaghetti?
Amanda
I agree.
Shane
Because you were in the service industry. So, like, I figured just as a.
Tommy
And you went to spaghetti.
Shane
I wanted to be specific. I wanted to see if I could get you specific.
Tommy
No, I love the prompt. I'm just trying to figure out spilling.
Shane
Food would get me. I've spilled food on my phone.
Amanda
I spilled food. I have not spilled spaghetti while I was working. Spaghetti's my favorite food. Spaghetti, meatballs. So I would spill it on myself all the time. But working. I never worked, like, at an Italian restaurant. I don't think I ever worked at a place that served pasta.
Tommy
Oh, wow.
Shane
Okay. My uncle has a story back, like, forever ago. He was a waiter and he was bringing a plate of, like, a couple things, but, like, spaghetti was. Was part of it. And he brings it to a table, and he's walking up to the table and he kind of loses balance and he has a choice of either the food going into the table or instead he. He just slams it into a wall. Just.
Tommy
Just full on. It's like, oh, my God.
Shane
Right into a wall. And apparently the stain was there for decades.
Amanda
That's awesome, Shane. This happen in person? You know how many times I've seen servers fucking break and do that? I have seen a server. Full martinis. Full martinis. Is walking and they've slammed it to the ground because it's about. Because it's about to go somewhere that they just go. It's instinct. They go. I don't want it to fall on the guest. Cause it sucks. They slammed it to the ground. And one time a server who was very clumsy to the ground and tripped on someone. Tripped on someone's jacket, fell and had a cut. Like I was gonna.
Shane
Everywhere, like a Final destination.
Amanda
Blood everywhere. And he was very clumsy and I loved him so much, but he came out and he was like, motherfucker.
Shane
At least he was okay.
Amanda
He was fine.
Shane
Was he all right?
Amanda
No, not really. I mean, he was fine, but he.
Tommy
Had a cut, I think.
Amanda
I don't think he went to the hospital, but he was covered in blood. And it was like, dude, you made it so much worse. You made it so much worse.
Shane
Oh, my God.
Tommy
He's a professional wrestler.
Amanda
Those guests are just sitting there being like, I've seen so much fucked up.
Shane
Shit in restaurants, but I've never seen a server, like, drop a tray. I've never.
Tommy
I don't think I have either.
Shane
It's actually kind of fascinating because there's so many times where I'm like, holy shit, don't drop that. But they don't. It's kind of.
Tommy
It's always cocktails too, where I'm like, how are you doing that?
Amanda
It is the funniest thing I've ever seen. When a server drops something. I mean, I've been there.
Shane
I'd be a horrendous waiter. I would be so bad.
Amanda
Yes, I think you would. Sorry. So sorry.
Shane
Thanks.
Amanda
You just. You're just, like. You're just like a big guy. Like, I feel like you need to be, like, moving through.
Tommy
Gotta squeeze through.
Shane
I bump shit so much.
Amanda
Yeah.
Shane
The amount of doorways that I hit with my shoulder is crazy.
Amanda
Yeah. So you'd be fucked from the.
Shane
Oh, no, I. Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure.
Amanda
Sorry about that.
Shane
Okay.
Tommy
Okay, I'm gonna put a finger down. Cause I've probably spilled spaghetti on myself.
Amanda
Yeah. Nah, nah. Come on. Yeah, yeah.
Tommy
I'm a sloppy eater.
Shane
I just don't. I have no recollection of spilling spaghetti, specifically spaghetti, but I really don't think I eat spaghetti that much.
Tommy
Just the craziest prompt.
Amanda
It's the craziest prom.
Shane
Hey, but I got you.
Amanda
It's the crazy.
Shane
But I got you.
Amanda
I literally have one finger up.
Shane
Yeah, I think we expected that. I have two. It's close. It's a close game.
Amanda
Oh, that's how you guys are gonna do two fingers like this? Spaghetti number one.
Shane
All right, I'll switch it to that.
Amanda
Okay.
Shane
All right. You guys got one?
Amanda
I definitely have some.
Tommy
Yeah.
Amanda
But go ahead, Tommy.
Tommy
I've got another. Like, what are the. Cause, again, I went into this. Like, I'm gonna get them. Never have I ever been to Europe.
Amanda
Oh, I'm out.
Shane
I've been to Europe. All right, so Amanda's out. It's down to Tommy and I. But you can still throw ones out for. See if you can get me. I have one.
Amanda
That.
Shane
That I never have. I ever. And this is, like, romantically. This is like. Like, as a thing.
Amanda
This is a marriage question, I guess.
Shane
Never have I ever slid into someone's DMs.
Amanda
I'm not in this. I'm, like, thinking. I'm like, well.
Shane
Well, you could put a finger down.
Tommy
Okay. If someone slid into my DMs first.
Shane
No, I don't think that counts. No, you have to.
Amanda
You have to slide it.
Shane
You have to initiate it.
Tommy
Then I will keep my finger.
Shane
Holy shit. Wow. I never have. And I was like, I have not yet.
Amanda
I'm going to be honest. I don't think I have at all.
Shane
I don't do it a lot, though. That's, like, the thing now.
Amanda
I don't. I don't. Like. Nothing has Ever wanted me to do that. I don't know. Even if I thought they were cute, like, I don't.
Shane
I never.
Tommy
It feels weird. It feels weird to me also because we're on. We are online, and then it feels like we're using our tool to be like, hey, like, this is me, you know, Take a screenshot.
Amanda
Yeah. It feels aggressive in a way that I don't like. Like, I'd rather hopefully meet them in person through mutual friends and just wait for that.
Shane
Yeah, it's. It's also something like, I'm not the type. I'll see. You know, you'd see someone online, you'd be like. Or like on social media, like, oh, they're cute, but like, I don't know you.
Tommy
Right.
Shane
And it's just kind of weird. Like, I'm not someone who wants to initiate anything unless I kind of know more.
Amanda
Unless, like, we've talked at in person once.
Shane
Then it's not.
Amanda
That's not really.
Tommy
It's.
Shane
Yeah, it's. Then you're continuing a conversation.
Amanda
Exactly.
Shane
Yeah.
Amanda
That to me is fine. If you've met in person. And then I, like, appreciate it.
Shane
I know plenty of people who like, are just throwing messages out there to people they don't know.
Tommy
Oh, yeah, I. After this. And this is for members. No, we don't have that yet. I was question mark flirted with via a dm. Slide in and then slide in. And I went, oh, is this a flirt? And then I responded back with like a ha ha. Imagine if you were flirting with me. And they were like, I'm not. And I was like, oh, haha. Well, good thing I said that.
Amanda
Anyway, they just said, I'm not.
Tommy
No, no, they. It was, it was. The way in which they responded was very much like. I was like, wouldn't it be crazy if, like, you weren't flirting with me and you just, like, wanted some information? And then it was like, I do want this information.
Shane
I was like, oh, that sucks.
Tommy
But I'll show you the screenshot later. It's very much like, it's like, like, where are you going? And it's like, oh, I'm going. Like, I'm going to this bar. And it's like, okay, cool. Because I was interested in going to that bar. Like, I needed to know where that bar was, so thank you. And I was like, oh, great, Good exchange.
Amanda
Wait, that's actually very confusing.
Tommy
I'll let you watch. I literally Chance was out there yesterday and I was like, chance, I need you to look at this, like, conversation and then he was like, oh, he's flirting. And then went, oh, maybe he's not flirting. It's like, was it a bit? Anyway, that's crazy. Moving on. It's.
Amanda
I see. I would have been like, what. What is that bar that you're going to? I've always wanted to go there. But still, that would seem like flirting, I guess. You'll.
Tommy
Yeah, I'll show you. It's. Yeah. Anyway, I just don't want to be too specific in case that person watches.
Shane
Okay.
Amanda
Members.
Tommy
Which is a possibility anyway.
Shane
Billy. Okay.
Tommy
Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay.
Shane
All right. I. It's. You can throw out one if you want.
Tommy
I feel like I need to pull up my list.
Shane
I have one. I'm gonna try it. Cause it's just down to you and I. So I'm trying to throw specific ones at you. Never have I ever seen an alligator on a golf course.
Tommy
Fuck you.
Amanda
From Florida.
Tommy
Golf course? You mean all of the terrain in Florida and an alligator, the only thing more populous than old people in Florida.
Shane
I love them. Like, Florida. I know exactly what you've seen.
Amanda
Wow.
Shane
So I take the first round, then?
Tommy
Yes, you do.
Shane
I took the first round.
Amanda
Oh, okay.
Shane
So you won and knocked him out with an alligator on a golf course.
Tommy
Wow.
Shane
All right.
Amanda
That was specific.
Tommy
Congratulations.
Shane
I haven't lived life.
Amanda
Spaghetti and alligator.
Tommy
You're crushing an alligator on a golf course is not living life.
Shane
Never seen an alligator. Never spilled spaghetti on myself.
Amanda
Wow. Wow. You're crushing it.
Tommy
Winning it.
Shane
All right, next round, locked and loaded. All right.
Amanda
Okay, I have one.
Tommy
Go.
Amanda
Never have I ever said, oh, yeah, I liked that show that you recommended that you love so much. Even if I watched it and didn't like it, I never said I liked it. If I watch something that you recommend, I'm gonna say how I feel.
Shane
But I've never lied. I will ever. Okay. No, I've never lied about that spaghetti. I've never told a lie in my entire life.
Amanda
I don't know how I can't handle that.
Shane
I.
Amanda
You need to lie a lot more, buddy.
Shane
Hey, dude, you could get a lot further.
Amanda
You need to lie.
Shane
You're gonna do a lot better. Not. Not about that. TV shows. If I don't like a show, I might soften the blow. I might not be like, I hate it, but I'll be like, yeah, I couldn't get into it even.
Amanda
Like, back in the day, like, when Netflix was, like, starting to be cool, and everyone's like, oh, my God, have you seen that show? And you're like, yeah, no, I don't think I have, Tommy.
Tommy
I feel like I probably have.
Amanda
Okay. Although I've done one.
Tommy
Usually I will be recommended a show. One of my besties is always recommending a show. And then I watch it, and I'm like, this is possibly the most boring thing I've ever seen in my life. But I tell him that to his face. I'm like. Cause then I get to be like. And this is why the show didn't work for me. Like, this kind of choice.
Amanda
I love that.
Tommy
But I'm sure, like, at one point I've. Cause I'm a hater. I love being a hater. I'm a hater. I'm a big old hater. Shout out to my haters. My fellow haters. And when it's like, we all love this show, then I'm like, okay. And then I watch it, and I'm like, whatever. But then if someone's, like, gunned to my head, like, and how'd you feel about the show? And I'm like, it's great. So I'm a coward. Hater. Shout out to my cowards.
Shane
Oh, my gosh.
Amanda
Shout out to my coward haters. Love you.
Tommy
My ex was right. I am a coward.
Amanda
Stop it.
Tommy
I'm kidding. Okay.
Shane
Holy shit.
Tommy
I definitely have.
Amanda
Okay, so at least I got one.
Shane
Okay.
Amanda
I find it very hard, though, because I will say, like, when people recommend the same thing to me. Like, my sister is dying for me to see this movie. Palm Springs. It's an older.
Shane
Oh, it's awesome. That's older.
Amanda
Well, it's like five years older.
Shane
It's like. I feel like it's like, yeah, Palm Springs.
Amanda
That's the Andy Samberg.
Tommy
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Amanda
So he's.
Shane
So I guess it did come out. Yeah.
Amanda
She's all. She's like, it's my favorite movie. And for some reason, the more she says it's her favorite and I need to watch it, the more I don't want to watch it.
Tommy
It's because the pressure. The pressure. Now you have the societal pressure of someone you love saying, this is the most important thing to me. And you're like, okay. That means I need to be at a specific mindset where I lock myself in and tune into this movie and give it all of my attention. And then it's like, okay, how did I feel about that? If it's not the best, then I have to talk. You know what I mean? The more pressure builds up, the less you want to even get involved.
Amanda
Yes.
Shane
I Totally get that.
Amanda
Okay.
Shane
I will say I love that movie. It's very fun.
Tommy
It's the best movie ever. You should watch it. It's my favorite movie. I've watched it. Yeah.
Shane
If you don't watch it, actually knowing that you didn't watch it kind of blows my mind.
Amanda
No, I definitely won't watch it.
Shane
I don't know how to continue this conversation.
Amanda
Fine. Okay.
Shane
Well, that's.
Tommy
I won't look at you in the eye anymore.
Amanda
That's my question. What?
Shane
On a similar. How are we gonna connect on a similar note?
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Tommy
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Shane
VGW Group void where prohibited by law 21 + terms and conditions apply. And I. At first, when I thought of this question, I thought, oh, I won't put a finger down. I realized I do have to put a finger down. Never have I ever seen someone's band or just seen someone's musical performance and it was really bad, or I just didn't really like it and you told them it was really great.
Tommy
Shut up.
Amanda
Of course. Of course.
Tommy
I hate.
Shane
It's like a quintessential. I don't even think that's an LA thing. I think that's everywhere. It's just a thing everybody has.
Tommy
Yeah.
Shane
Yeah.
Amanda
It's like, come see my show. And you're like, okay, yeah, and I will.
Shane
And it's always in the worst place. It's always like. It's always just perfectly far enough away. And there's no parking.
Amanda
There's no parking. There's no food. There's no drinks.
Shane
No.
Amanda
And the tickets, like, $5.
Tommy
Too much.
Amanda
Too much.
Tommy
It's like $28.
Amanda
Yeah.
Tommy
I'm like, 28.
Amanda
Yeah. And then right when you get there, the person taking your ticket can't find it and you're already annoyed and you're like, I wish I was not here.
Shane
And your friend is always performing, like, last far in the back.
Amanda
They're performing at like 1am they're like, there's four openers. Wait for me. And you're like, eh, yeah.
Tommy
Also, as we know, I mean, this wasn't Yeah, I know. I gotta put my hand. As we know as comedians, I know this isn't a band, but our pull string on the back of our bodies is. Great set. I love that set. Great show. I don't know about you.
Amanda
I don't know about you guys, but I. If I have shows, I, like, pick and choose. I don't invite people to every single show. I pick and choose. I'm like, this one matters. And then I'll straight up be like, don't come to this one.
Tommy
Absolutely.
Shane
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, yeah.
Amanda
You don't want to burn people out.
Tommy
No.
Shane
Right, right.
Amanda
But then when you do get a text and it's like, come to my show.
Tommy
You're like, okay, I'll do that.
Shane
It's a lot of pressure. Talk about the ultimate pressure. Yeah. And I've also gone and seen people's musical performances. They've been great.
Amanda
Yeah, that's awesome. And then you're, like, psyched.
Tommy
Yeah.
Shane
And luckily with. With comedy sets, whenever I've gone, they've been awesome. I've been very fortunate, though.
Amanda
Yeah.
Shane
Because that would be even harder.
Amanda
Well, I've definitely seen a lot of bad improv in my life. People's like, that's the nature teams, where they're like, come on. And you're like, yeah, Yeah. I died in that moment. I was brought to another planet.
Shane
Rough.
Tommy
Welcome back.
Amanda
Welcome back.
Tommy
I've got one. Never have I ever puked at an amusement park or, Or a fair or anything crazy like that.
Shane
I never have. I don't get motion sickness.
Amanda
No. Wow. I get motion sickness. But I, I, I don't, I don't go on those rides.
Tommy
That's my thing. I don't do those rides.
Shane
You. Can you not do roller coasters?
Amanda
I love roller coasters. I can't do, like, spinny, spinny, spinny. Like Scrambling Tasmania.
Tommy
They've all got names.
Amanda
Yeah. Like the many ones where you're stuck to the wall. Zero percent. I can't do that. I can do, like, the. My favorite ride is the. What is that? The tilt. A whirl.
Tommy
What's this where you spin the cup?
Amanda
Nope. You're sitting in the thing and you're like, okay.
Tommy
I have more details about it.
Amanda
Okay. Okay. It's like a star and you're going this way and the other person's like, right there with you and you stop right next to each other and then you move again and you're like, don't worry about it.
Tommy
Do you know this one scrambler?
Amanda
I think it's Called the scrambler.
Shane
It's a scrambler. Yeah. Yeah.
Amanda
Okay.
Tommy
Sure. Yeah.
Amanda
I love that one.
Tommy
That's fun.
Amanda
Okay.
Shane
Yeah.
Amanda
So it's just specific motion sickness.
Tommy
Yeah. I got on this pocket of YouTube when it was like fair rides or whatever. Like breaking down and like tragic moments.
Amanda
No.
Tommy
And like rides history just. Cause you know, sometimes you get on that. Like, that's my true crime. People love true crime. I love a roller coaster.
Amanda
Awful.
Tommy
So like, that just further integrated my. Or solidified my not going on rides like that. Like, I'll do roller coasters for sure. But like, not fair. You won't see me at a fair.
Amanda
No, fair is crazy because it's like, oh, we're here for one week and you're like, you set up a ride in one week? One week.
Tommy
And you're. Yeah. Are the bolts.
Amanda
And you're doing it and you're like, yay. And the bolts are like chaosy bus.
Shane
I one time at Six Flags got stuck on Tatsu for 15 minutes just looking down at my death for 15 minutes.
Tommy
Can't do that.
Shane
Just. Just face down. It's the one where you're hanging and just the ground beneath for 15 minutes.
Amanda
I think I would have a panic attack and pass out.
Tommy
I would. Yeah.
Shane
I luckily was the type. This. I was a teenager. I was like, whatever, man.
Amanda
Like, that's wild. You have a sense of calm.
Shane
I lit a cigarette.
Tommy
You're like, don't understand.
Shane
I just dropped lit cigarettes down on the ground beneath me.
Tommy
There's a forest fire beneath you now.
Amanda
Your uncle's like, God, Shane is just such a beast of shit. He's like, stop.
Shane
Did you guys know that the sixth flag in Six Flags is the Confederate flag? Sorry to bring.
Amanda
Should I put down a finger?
Tommy
Is this real?
Amanda
Never have I ever Google it.
Shane
Google it. I learned this recently and that blew my mind. The six flags of Texas. The sixth.
Amanda
So is that why the mascot's like that old, like, white looking guy?
Tommy
That's the guy. That's why.
Shane
That's Robert E. Lee.
Amanda
Now he's on another finger.
Tommy
That's the remains of Robert E. Lee.
Shane
Okay. Selina just looks over like this.
Tommy
Yeah, it's true.
Shane
I never knew. I guess we can't go anymore. In their advertisements, in their logos, it's like those colorful triangular flags.
Tommy
Yeah.
Shane
Yeah. It's just all. That's France. It's a bunch of flags.
Amanda
Yeah. Why is France in there? France was like, we'll give you 100 bucks.
Tommy
Places that have flag in place.
Shane
It's places that have governed Texas in the past.
Tommy
Oh, that makes sense.
Shane
So France, Spain, Mexico. I don't think they're owning that much anymore. They're doing the colorful triangular flag. I'm not going to defend six flags. I feel like I've nearly loved. I've nearly died there a couple of times.
Amanda
Sounds like you love being stuck on tatsu.
Shane
Okay, never have I ever.
Tommy
Okay.
Shane
Never have I ever won over $1,000 in Vegas.
Amanda
No.
Tommy
Easy. I've never been to Vegas.
Amanda
I've been to Vegas, but I wasn't betting. I wasn't like, I don't know. I don't like.
Shane
I'm not a gambler.
Amanda
I don't like blackjack.
Tommy
Blackjack.
Amanda
Craps. Craps.
Shane
Yeah, craps.
Amanda
Okay. Slot machine.
Shane
What about the slot machine?
Amanda
It sounds fun. I just. I'd rather, like. I don't know. I just. It doesn't. It doesn't excite me if you go in with.
Tommy
This happened to me one time, and it was awesome.
Amanda
Okay.
Tommy
And I feel like. And I tried it again, and it didn't really work, but I went into. What's the morongo do? We know the Morongo.
Shane
Morongo casino.
Amanda
Morongo casino.
Tommy
The one that desert and resort. Yeah, that's, like, on the way to desert spots. Went in there with $20, and I was like, I have $20. I'm gonna gamble with my $20. And once this $20 gone, I'm leaving this place because, like, I don't have money to spend like that. And so I put in a 20. Get the little card. Good thing. Then now I'm up to 40. Now I'm up to 60. Now that 60 gets back down to 20. And then I'm like, okay, whoa, whoa. And I keep going and going. And I spent, like, an hour and a half just, like, making money, losing money, making money, losing money. And then I hit 20 again, and I was like, it's time to go. And I left with my $20.
Amanda
Wait, that's actually really fun.
Tommy
Yes. Don't gamble at home. People get addicted to it. But when you do the $20, you do get addicted.
Amanda
I would do the $20.
Tommy
It's really fun because then you're just like, this has no meaning to me. And I'm just going to leave when.
Amanda
I. Yeah, I don't want to, like, go in with hundreds of dollars.
Shane
That scares me. My mindset has always been, you take money that you're like, I'm going to spend this money.
Tommy
I'm not getting gambling.
Shane
You like to gamble I don't really like to gamble. I have really bad gambling luck.
Amanda
Oh. Yeah.
Shane
I. My first trip when I turned 21, my family's like, we're going to Vegas. And like, that's like kind of a thing that we do.
Amanda
Yeah.
Shane
But I immediately, like, I brought a couple hundred dollars. I was like, I'm gonna spend this this week. I lost it all immediately. Like, I didn't win any money. In all of my initial best, I lost. I lost $100 immediately. Like, did not even get, like a little bit back. You know how it's like it dwindles. It was just gone. Cause I lost. I did. I did blackjack immediately. And I lost every hand.
Amanda
You're like, hit me. And he was like, you're done.
Shane
My brothers were even like, oh, shit. And I was like, yeah, this is probably just not for me.
Tommy
Happy birthday.
Shane
I gotta be honest. This is probably not my thing. No. And truthfully, in Vegas, the odds are against you completely.
Amanda
Yeah.
Shane
And people might go to Vegas and be up, but if you look at all your Vegas trips, you're always going to be down.
Tommy
Yeah.
Shane
Like you're giving Vegas money.
Amanda
I think I just worry that there's like all these mob bosses watching you on the camera and they're like, look at that sleight of hand. And then you owe them your life. Have I watched too many movies?
Tommy
You've watched too many movies. Yeah.
Shane
Probably watched too many movies.
Tommy
Okay. But not the movies we want you to watch. If only you'd watch the movies that we cared about. What wanted you to watch?
Amanda
Like, Ocean's Eleven.
Tommy
Like Palm Springs.
Amanda
Oh, my God. We're gonna watch.
Shane
Comment down below for Amanda to watch Palm Springs.
Amanda
Guys, I'm never gonna watch it now that I have all this pressure.
Tommy
This podcast gets 14 likes. We are going to force Amanda to watch Palm Springs and we're gonna do on the pod. Wow. Watch a long pod. Never been to Vegas. I want to Vegas.
Amanda
You actually would have a blast. Great.
Shane
People watching Vegas can be really fun.
Amanda
Circus ole.
Shane
The people watching in Vegas is crazy. It's crazy because you'll be walking down the Strip and you'll see people dressed in the most immaculate clothing next to someone who's wearing like a singular T shirt that covers their whole body and then flip flops that are correct.
Tommy
That's awesome.
Shane
Barely on their feet.
Tommy
I've also heard if you've hit a third day of Vegas, you've done it too long. Yes, yes. It's like a two day thing. And then you got to get out.
Shane
The third day, you hate Vegas more than anything on this planet.
Tommy
That's awesome.
Amanda
I went when I was 22, and it was the third day.
Tommy
It was, like, too old to go.
Amanda
No.
Shane
Oh, God, no.
Amanda
Grown. Grown, though, man.
Tommy
Vegas is okay. I'd say it's actually grown. I'm still a young.
Amanda
Grown men were younger than you. Honey.
Tommy
I threw my back out two days ago. You beat kind of my old soul.
Shane
I actually feel like when I've. Every time I've gone to Vegas, it's mostly like seniors.
Amanda
That's what I was thinking.
Shane
I think it's mostly. I feel like that's usually my experience.
Tommy
Oof.
Amanda
Oof.
Shane
I don't think young. I don't think younger. I don't think millennials and Gen Z are as into Vegas as boomers were. No, I think we're kind of like, not. Gambling's not fun. Cause nobody has money, right?
Amanda
Correct.
Shane
And things are scary, so it's like, I'm not gonna do that. Boomers had stupid money.
Amanda
Yeah.
Tommy
I've got one, but I feel like it's only gonna get you maybe. Or maybe no one.
Shane
Okay.
Amanda
Okay.
Tommy
Never have I ever gotten a spray tan.
Shane
You gotten a spray tan?
Amanda
Of course I have.
Tommy
Yeah.
Amanda
Of course I have. I'm from the East Coast. Our proms are basically crawling into fall, and I needed to be tan.
Tommy
Yeah.
Amanda
People expected me to be tan.
Tommy
I really want to get a spray tan.
Amanda
I know you do.
Tommy
As a bit. There was a moment where I was, like, gonna show up to a shoot week. Just orange. Like, deep, deep orange. I was so excited for it. And then, like, striat got moved around.
Amanda
Honey, I don't know if you'll be orange. You might be, like, brown.
Tommy
Well, that's what I don't. I don't want to push any limits. Okay. I don't want to. I don't want anyone to assume something wrong. But I do want to have a spray tan just for the hell of it.
Shane
Oh, my God.
Amanda
And I think. And I think you should do it closer to December so it's even more like, whoa.
Shane
We know for sure that it was a spray tan.
Tommy
Yeah.
Amanda
The spray tan is the most. I mean, I haven't done it since I was 18.
Tommy
Okay.
Amanda
But I used to do the beds.
Shane
Terrible.
Amanda
And then it was, like, a thing that you do for prom. Right? You have to do it. It's like a thing. But the spray tan is insane because you can get it on everything you own when you come home.
Tommy
Oh, no.
Amanda
Oh, yeah.
Tommy
How long do I have to not touch anything.
Amanda
Well, they've probably like. They probably like enhanced it. It's probably more advanced now than when I was 18.
Tommy
They put hot glue all over you now really seal it in.
Amanda
They probably do. They probably like exfoliate you and then I don't know. But you don't wanna shower after. Cause then you get spots, right? And you don't wanna get spots.
Tommy
But how do I sleep standing?
Amanda
Yeah.
Tommy
Okay.
Shane
I remember for days, I remember talking to a person who did spray tanning and she was talking about.
Amanda
That was her job.
Shane
That was her job. She worked at a spray tan place and she was talking about when dudes would come in, how it'd be like, all right, now move your junk to the side. Spray tan. That's.
Amanda
They wanted it all brown.
Shane
Everywhere, everywhere.
Amanda
Those were all the men I went to high school with.
Tommy
I'd probably do that.
Amanda
Yeah. And I think you should. So you can chunk to the side.
Tommy
Chunk to the right. Crisscross.
Amanda
Ow, ow ow ow ow ow.
Tommy
Crisscross.
Amanda
Ow ow ow ow. Honestly, I can't wait to see you. Cause I need to wear the little.
Tommy
I'm gonna have the little baby little.
Amanda
Goggles that don't have lines here. Just here.
Tommy
I'm gonna have the white eyes. It's gonna be great.
Shane
You're gonna come in, you'll be like, welcome to family beauty.
Amanda
Now you. I can't wait.
Shane
Oh my God.
Tommy
So keep a, keep a, keep an eye out.
Amanda
So I guess I'm the only one who did the spray tan vibes. I. I mean, I wish I never did it. I look back at prom photos and I'm like, wow. Oh, wowzers.
Tommy
Well.
Amanda
But all my dresses were like hot pink, lime green, bright orange.
Tommy
So you needed a, you needed a boost.
Shane
You're like, bobby, we're late for prom.
Amanda
My hair was like slick. The Barbie slicked and then curls and like kind of up. It was called a have do.
Tommy
Whoa.
Shane
Did you ever do bump its the fuck? Do you remember those? Do you remember?
Amanda
Yes. I never did them, but I know that it was a possibility for me to do.
Shane
Was. It was definitely.
Amanda
I mean I did grow up on Jersey Shore. I watched all Jersey. Sure. But you could have it. You buy it. And it was like a plastic thing. Yeah.
Tommy
It's like a little ramp in your head.
Amanda
You go home, you go to my home, people still rock a bump it big time.
Shane
That's awesome.
Amanda
They're dressed up for the grocery store. Like hardcore.
Shane
Whoa.
Amanda
Correct.
Shane
It's crazy.
Amanda
Yeah. Woo. Pretty cool.
Shane
Never have I ever invested in crypto. Okay. Didn't think. What?
Amanda
Yeah.
Shane
What? Yeah, Amanda, our offline queen.
Tommy
That is the craziest.
Amanda
I'm not kidding.
Tommy
That is the craziest turn of events I have.
Amanda
I have.
Shane
Oh, did you make money?
Amanda
Yeah. Whoa.
Shane
Nice.
Amanda
Not like, whoa, holy shit. But I did double what I put in there.
Shane
Okay, that's cool.
Tommy
That's insane. Like, to be honest, that's crazy to me.
Shane
This is the most insane.
Amanda
It's like, when people figured out I love Lord of the Rings, they were like, what? And I was like, yeah, wow.
Shane
Lord of the Rings. You know what?
Tommy
That rides are crypto.
Shane
Palm Springs, I am actually going to kill you. Okay. That's crazy.
Amanda
I have invested in crypto, and I. I wanted to. I wasn't sure about it, and my friend gave me a whole download and then kind of helped me do it, and I was like, wow, cool.
Shane
I should point out that that's. That it is gambling. So you were. You won. Wow, good job.
Amanda
I won.
Shane
Similar to gambling. Also, I think advice overall, don't. You're. Because you more likely to lose money.
Amanda
More likely.
Shane
You got very lucky.
Amanda
I got very lucky. I did, like, a safe, safe gamble on it where it, like, stops you. It doesn't. It doesn't allow you to, like, put too much on anything. It just like.
Shane
And you're not also putting, like. People are putting their life savings into crypto.
Amanda
I would never. I'd rather take out the cash and hide it somewhere.
Shane
Yeah.
Tommy
In your mattress.
Amanda
Yeah, in my mattress.
Shane
That's so funny.
Tommy
Out of all of us at the table.
Shane
That is so crazy.
Amanda
Me thinks it was an awesome idea that I did it.
Tommy
Me. Thanks.
Shane
Well, you got money, so it worked out.
Amanda
Me. Thanks. I did a good job.
Shane
Do you guys have any.
Tommy
I'm going through my brain right now thinking about stuff I have not.
Amanda
Oh, never have I ever paid for online dating.
Shane
No, I never have.
Tommy
Yes, I have.
Amanda
And that's okay.
Tommy
It's okay.
Amanda
Most of the world, you can pay.
Tommy
To see who has liked you on these apps. Are you kidding me? Let me spend $20 so I don't have to go through the, you know, hoopla of, like.
Shane
Of course it's designed that way. Of course.
Amanda
Are they all paying or they're all.
Tommy
Free, but then you can pay to either. Like Tinder, for example, is like, you're done swiping for the day. Unless you pay us $10, then you can keep swiping.
Shane
No, it's really shitty. Oh, I think they're kind of all Kind of crumbling a little bit right now. I think they're struggling.
Tommy
I know a lot of. Well, I'm actually not the person to speak on this. The gay people I'm surrounded by are moving past dating apps. They're, like, bored of it.
Shane
I think everyone kind of is.
Tommy
Yeah.
Shane
I. Yeah, I have a theory. I mean, it makes sense that they want to keep the demand up. They don't want them to really work in the long run.
Tommy
They don't want you to.
Shane
They want people to be single. I think dating apps have probably made dating so much harder than. I mean, I think everyone knows they have made because people come, but I don't think they're designed. I don't think dating apps were really designed for you to find a thing like.
Tommy
No, it's for fucking.
Shane
It's. And I think even that started to suck. Like, I think they're bad in that, too. Yeah.
Amanda
Yeah.
Shane
I heard someone explain it recently, and I was like, wow. Just. This is more the dating sphere, but specifically in dating apps, that for men, dating is a desert, and for women, it's a swamp. And I was like, wow, that's.
Tommy
That's crazy, because that was, like, so cool.
Shane
It's bad for everyone, but it's bad.
Amanda
In a bad way for women.
Shane
Well, yeah.
Tommy
No, Yeah.
Shane
I don't think swamp was meant to be a good thing.
Amanda
Well.
Shane
Oh, like a nice swamp.
Amanda
Oh, yeah. I guess swamp is bad.
Shane
We just learned that Amanda is Shrek and thinks swamps are awesome.
Amanda
My swamp.
Shane
But, yeah, it's just bad. Like, the experience is not good and organized. They're not trying to optimize it for you to match with someone. They're probably trying to keep that match away so that you stay and pay for it.
Amanda
Was it ever good?
Shane
I think initially they were really years ago.
Tommy
Yeah. Tommy, the longest relationship I had, I met on Tinder.
Amanda
Okay.
Shane
People do meet their partners on dating apps. It's still possible. I just think the infrastructure is not designed for it.
Amanda
Well.
Shane
And it's all trying to get money out of you. That's their goal. Their goal is not to match you with someone. Their goal is to get money out of you. So.
Amanda
All right, well, one down for Tommy. What does everyone have? Because I have two.
Tommy
I've got three left. I'm pretty sure I kind of lost count, but I'm pretty sure it's three.
Shane
Four.
Tommy
Yeah.
Shane
Pretty sure I got four because I've not invested in crypto.
Amanda
Okay.
Shane
I should have.
Amanda
Okay.
Shane
I guess I should have.
Amanda
I guess you should have.
Shane
Never have. I Ever texted an ex. But it's like texting an ex being like, hey, I'm sorry. Hey, what's, what's going on?
Tommy
Come back.
Shane
Not, not like, hey, you know, like, not for like a necessity.
Amanda
Like, never have I ever texted an ex in like a flirting I want you back vibes.
Shane
Yes. Or in any sort of way, like, yeah, more that tone.
Tommy
Is texting an ex having a conversation of like, hey, we should like, meet up and like, have a conversation?
Amanda
No.
Shane
If it's not platonic. I don't think it's platonic. I think in a non platonic way.
Amanda
You mean like as a, like a booty call or just like.
Shane
Sure, booty call counts. Just not platonic. Not just like, hey, my friend, I don't know, like, hey, I'm recommending you for a job. Or I don't know, like ex, like.
Amanda
A real ex or like a, like a two month hangout ex.
Shane
I'd say a real ex.
Amanda
I think I was too prideful. I don't think I did.
Tommy
I think.
Amanda
I think I've wanted to, but I'm very stubborn and prideful, so I don't think I did.
Shane
Yeah.
Tommy
I think most of my breakups were either, like, I was like super done or they were super done or they were trans. Hi, Lena. And we're still friends. And. Yeah. So I don't think. I don't think so.
Shane
Okay.
Tommy
It was very, like, no more contact.
Shane
Okay.
Amanda
I think I've wanted to, though.
Tommy
Oh, sure.
Amanda
I've wanted to. I've definitely tried to be like, oh, okay, where can I. Again, it always goes back to in person for me.
Shane
Totally.
Amanda
So it's like, if I know that they're gonna be at a party and I'm interested in that.
Shane
Yeah.
Amanda
I'll be like, oh, okay, I wanna go. But no, that's different. I too, too, too stubborn.
Shane
Okay. Okay.
Tommy
Ooh, I've got one.
Shane
All right.
Amanda
Yes.
Tommy
Never have I ever gotten a concussion.
Shane
I don't think I've gotten a concussion.
Tommy
I don't think so, Amanda.
Shane
That I'm aware of.
Tommy
That I'm aware of.
Shane
I guess that's always the case.
Tommy
I've probably had one that I'm not aware of.
Shane
That's where we've all. You know what we're all.
Amanda
I think I might have.
Shane
Did you get diagnosed with a concussion at any point?
Amanda
No, but I felt really sick. A bus hit me and my sister.
Shane
I'm sorry.
Amanda
What the fuck?
Shane
I'm sorry, Amanda.
Amanda
Sorry.
Tommy
Were they trying to get your crypto?
Amanda
Sorry. Yeah. They're like, you invested in crypto.
Shane
Bus Boom.
Tommy
Okay, we need to talk about that.
Shane
You got hit by a bus. I did. And you've never mentioned this.
Amanda
Correct. I was inside of a car.
Tommy
Okay.
Amanda
It was me and my older sister. We share a birthday, right? We were young. We were on our way to a dinner that we were having in Boston with my mom and sisters and my grandparents. We were going to this, like, Portuguese restaurant or tapas. Spanish tapas. I can't remember. But I was young. I was, like, not super young. I think I was, like, 16 or something. And we were both in her little shitbox car. Like, little. And we were in Boston, and we had parked for a second, and I was on the phone with my mom, who was in a car like, five cars down.
Tommy
And Ms. Frizzle was drunk as fuck.
Amanda
Ms. Frizzle was like, la, la, la, la, la. Can I put my bus in you? And my sister was turning, and the bus was coming, and it hit her and slammed us against many, many, many cars. And I lost. I blacked out. And I was on the phone with my mom. Unfortunately, she heard the whole thing.
Tommy
Yeah, that would be terrifying.
Amanda
Which is why I never talk about it. Cause I blacked it out. But, like, she heard the whole thing. And it was just, boom. Hit us all through these parked cars in Boston. Luckily, the bus stopped. And we were okay. We were okay. And my sister. The car was, like, crunched, but no one got, like, cut or anything. But we. I think my sister was fine, but I definitely hit my head. Cause I was on the phone, like, down by my feet or something.
Tommy
You kind of did an initial bomb.
Amanda
Exactly. And the phone was still on.
Tommy
Wow.
Amanda
And I think the worst part was the embarrassment of my mom having a fucking breakdown. Do you know. Do you know when someone's, like, worried that you almost died and you almost.
Tommy
Feel like then it's back on? You're embarrassed to be like, calm down.
Amanda
You're almost like. Do you know that feeling? I don't know when it's like, my mom pulled up, and she was like, my babies. Like that. Like, she was in hysterics. And I felt deeply uncomfortable. I was like, I'm fine, Mom.
Shane
Mom, you're being cringe right now.
Amanda
No, I felt so bad for her. And my poor little sister was in the car, and she was like, I'm never gonna be the same.
Tommy
Oh, God.
Amanda
She was in the car with my mother. So she experienced my mom being like, they're dead.
Tommy
They're dead.
Shane
Oh, my God. Well, it probably sounded crazy on the phone.
Amanda
We got hit by a fucking bus.
Shane
Like, the sound was probably worse than even crunchy, squeaky.
Amanda
So I felt really sick, but my mom was like, well, we have reservations. We have to go. Now that you're alive, it's for your birthday. We can't let your grandparents down.
Shane
Did you not go to the hospital or anything?
Amanda
No, I went to dinner.
Shane
Just went to dinner.
Amanda
My grandparents.
Shane
Crazy craziest part.
Amanda
My grandparents were waiting. We can't let them down. They'll be so. They'll be devastated if you guys don't show up to your birthday dinner. So me and my elder sis. This is, like, the story of my life. Me and my other sister walked in and I. I remember throwing up in the bathroom, and my mom was like.
Shane
You had a concussion. You had a concussion.
Amanda
But I had to be like, they're like, happy birthday.
Shane
And I was like a concussed. Having to be concussed and sit through happy birthdays.
Tommy
That's unbelievable.
Amanda
Story of my life, where it's like, you almost died, but we can't let your grandparents down.
Tommy
That's crazy.
Amanda
Yeah.
Tommy
Anyways, wow.
Amanda
So I think I did have a concussion.
Tommy
That's.
Shane
Yeah, I think 100%.
Amanda
I think her car was totaled.
Tommy
Pretty sure that crunched. It's probably wild. Yeah.
Amanda
And the bus didn't give a fucking shit. They were like, you pulled out at the wrong time, lady. Like, they're. They're just boss.
Shane
It was like a public. Public. Yeah.
Amanda
I mean, she definitely did the wrong thing.
Tommy
Well, yeah.
Amanda
It's like, you know when you pull out and you put your blinker on and the bus is coming, so you're gonna wait? No, my sister's like, gotta go anyways, so I guess I have one left.
Tommy
I feel like you put a finger down for that.
Amanda
Should I put all my fingers down for that? Should I take two?
Shane
That's a two for no. I'm just kidding. Okay. You have one left. Wow.
Amanda
Okay.
Shane
Holy crap.
Amanda
Sorry.
Tommy
I love that story. Thank you.
Amanda
You're welcome.
Shane
Selena wrote this one down, and I feel like we just gotta. We just gotta say it. Never have I ever gotten the ick from someone at this table.
Tommy
The ick.
Shane
I don't think I've gotten the ick from anyone at this table.
Tommy
I don't think I've gotten the ick.
Shane
I don't think I get the ick.
Amanda
I definitely get the ick.
Tommy
Oh, I get.
Amanda
Oh, I get the ick.
Tommy
I feel like I haven't gotten the ick.
Amanda
Well, come on.
Tommy
Not anyone at this table.
Amanda
I don't think I've gotten the ick from anyone at this table.
Tommy
No.
Amanda
At all. But I've definitely gotten the ick. Come on. You've gotten the ick.
Shane
I guess I probably have. I don't think of it in those terms.
Amanda
It's like when someone says something and.
Shane
You'Re like, yeah, okay.
Tommy
Loosely. Yeah, I was on, like, a date or whatever, and someone was like, what a cute doggo over there. And I went.
Shane
Sorry, I got hit by a bus earlier.
Tommy
I looked up. I clearly. My face changed. He went, oh, no. Should I not have said that? Because I think I went, like. And he was like, oh, I'm so sorry. I will never say that again. And I'm like, no, no, no, it's fine.
Shane
But also, no, don't.
Amanda
He said.
Shane
He said, what a cute dog. And he goes, oh, should I not have said that, Ermergur?
Amanda
I'm a dumb, dumb idiot.
Shane
I'm just small bean.
Amanda
Oh, God. Maybe I have gotten the ick from you, Shane. I'm not sure. I think. I think maybe I have. No, I. No, not the real ick. Just when you're doing shit like that.
Tommy
He's cringed you out.
Amanda
He's 100% cringed me out. Yeah, but not like. Not a true ick, where you're like, oh, God. And you don't want to tell them. Yeah, I've had friends who've given me the ick, and I've definitely looked at them like, oh, God.
Tommy
Yeah.
Amanda
They're like, what? I'm like, never mind.
Tommy
Yeah, I just let it go.
Amanda
I let it go. But sometimes you got to tell them.
Tommy
I know.
Amanda
You're like, you can't.
Tommy
That's so hard.
Shane
You're a gross idiot right now.
Amanda
And I think it has to do with, like, dogs and, like, people walking by, like, cute, cute dog or whatever. They say something. You're just like, oh, my God, I've.
Shane
Gotten the ick for myself. I think, oh, I think I've got. I've got the ick.
Tommy
How so?
Amanda
How so?
Shane
I think I. I don't know. Just in moments, I think about dogs. Like, I. It is so subconscious that when I see a dog, I go so high register. And I don't know why still. Oh, no, I want to talk to a dog. Like, just a. Just be like, what's up, man? But every time I'm like. I'm like, oh, how's it going?
Amanda
I swear, with a dog, it doesn't give me the ick.
Tommy
There is A Some science pod. Whoa. Some science podcast that I listen to. There is a instinctual thing that we talk like that to small animals. That would be.
Shane
Is it like a baby thing or.
Tommy
It is a baby thing. Even other animals talk to their own children with a different tone than they would talk to other things. And it's so that the babies know that they're being addressed. It's so like, if we didn't use that voice toward the dogs, the dogs might not know that we're addressing them. I could be wrong. But I have a microphone. I have a microphone in front of my mouth. So that means everything I say is true.
Amanda
Correct. That actually makes sense, though. And also, you can't stop yourself. I could never go to a dog and be like, what's up, little brother?
Tommy
How are you? Hello, buddy.
Shane
Hey, dog. It's hard. It's really hard not to.
Amanda
It's really hard. So it's okay.
Shane
Sometimes I catch myself with my cats. I'll just like. If I'm just hanging out, I'll turn and I'll just be like, what are you doing, dude? What's going on?
Amanda
That's cause you live with them. Difference.
Shane
What are you up to? And they're just looking at you like, what?
Tommy
Never have I ever owned a dog.
Amanda
Oh, I'm out.
Shane
Got me.
Amanda
I'm out. Ha ha.
Shane
Never owned a dog.
Amanda
Do you want to own a dog someday?
Tommy
Now I do. I never used to, but now I wanted to.
Amanda
I feel like you'd be so good as a dog owner.
Shane
What kind of dog would you want?
Tommy
I don't know. I recently had a lot of interactions with a pit. And they're the sweetest little.
Amanda
They're so cute.
Tommy
There's a whole little person in there. But growing up, I had hermit crabs.
Shane
I had a hermit crab.
Tommy
I had fish, I had prairie dogs.
Shane
You had prairie dogs?
Tommy
Like prairie dogs? Like the ones that are in a desert?
Amanda
Yeah.
Tommy
Wow. Did you prairie dogs.
Shane
Did you have them outside or you had them inside?
Tommy
I had them inside. They're pet. They can be pets. It was amazing.
Shane
How many.
Amanda
Where do they burrow?
Tommy
They're like this big. Well, you give them like a bunch of. What we did is we like cut up little, like blankets so that they had like material to burrow in, but, like, that would be clean. My dad built a cage that like the bottom half like, collects all the poopies.
Amanda
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Tommy
But he built a two story. We had one. Her name was Girly. She was awesome. And I was like in fifth grade or Whatever. And we just adopted them from people who got them as pets and then was like, we actually don't know how to take care of these because they're very social. They live in big groups. They need other creatures. Kind of like humans in a way.
Amanda
Yeah.
Tommy
They're like. If humans were hamsters, like, that's like, the idea. They're very into. They have their own language.
Shane
Yeah.
Tommy
They can, like, squeak to each other about like, oh, a tall human being who's wearing red is approaching this quickly. Like, that's how detailed they can get.
Amanda
Whoa.
Tommy
Yeah. You come home and they're like, yay. And you're like, oh, my God. Hi, baby. And then you, like, let them out and they crawl up and they nestle into your little neck. And then you can sit and watch TV and they'll, like, flop over into your army and just, like, scratch your little belly. And they're like, wait, stop. Yeah. They're the best.
Amanda
I did not know this.
Tommy
They have little personalities. They're just. They're called the Chicken Nuggets of the Prairie because they are, like, perfect prey and they die really easy. So it's like you have to really take care of them. But they're really precious.
Shane
That's why they live underground. And they have, like, their warning signs.
Amanda
Oh, my God.
Shane
Chicken Nuggets of the Prairie.
Amanda
They're all over la, too. Like the big fields. Oh, yeah.
Shane
Wow.
Amanda
When I would take my dog to a park, there was all these little holes and they would just stick pretty much their whole body out. And then they would know that she was there. And they were, like, off the back.
Shane
Yep.
Amanda
And they go back in. They were everywhere.
Tommy
Yeah. They're illegal to have as pets in la. Otherwise I'd probably have one.
Amanda
Why?
Tommy
Because a long, long, long time ago, they. One of them got monkeypox somehow. And then that spread to a person, and it was just the one. And then there were, like, never again. Is that a pet?
Shane
It's kind of the same with, like. We don't have ferrets in California either. There's a lot of pets that are illegal in California.
Amanda
Wow.
Tommy
Well, Dan, anyway, never. Never owned a dog, but I've had those cute little creatures. But I want a dog.
Amanda
You would be such a good dog owner. I really. I really think so. Would you want.
Tommy
Am I gonna be the single gay with a dog?
Amanda
Yes.
Tommy
Really?
Amanda
Yes.
Tommy
Am I gonna be that guy?
Amanda
Yeah.
Shane
Is that a guy?
Tommy
Oh, my God, yes. Walk outside and point in a direction. There's a. There's a gay with A dog who's like, well, relationships didn't work out, so I'm gonna have a dog.
Amanda
Yep.
Tommy
Okay.
Amanda
Yep. And they're usually like, they're a little bit older, and they have everything particular in their house. And they have their little dog.
Tommy
So fun to date, it sounds like.
Amanda
And their dog just, like, is their world.
Tommy
Yes. Which it would be my world. That's. That's another reason I'm scared to do it, because I'm like, no, it would just be my world.
Amanda
It would. You would dedicate your life to it.
Tommy
Yeah.
Amanda
So maybe hold off.
Tommy
Maybe hold off. We'll see.
Shane
Well, we're out of time.
Tommy
Okay.
Shane
We don't have a declared winner, but we know that Amanda lost.
Amanda
I lost.
Tommy
I know. You did lose.
Amanda
I'm fully out. Like, I lost.
Tommy
You've lived the most life.
Shane
You've definitely lived. You've invested in.
Amanda
Yes. Yeah, I've been hit by a boss Freighten.
Shane
No. The amount of surprises that came out.
Tommy
This was a Amanda Lore episode.
Shane
Fascinating.
Amanda
Yep. They just. They just live. These stories just live inside me. And then I. And then they become awoken when I.
Tommy
Get asked questions to be prompted.
Amanda
Oh, my God. I do. I do.
Shane
Well, thank you, Tommy, for being here.
Tommy
Thank you. This is so fun.
Amanda
Thank you, Tommy. Oh, thank you. We love you, Tommy.
Tommy
Thanks. Oh, thank you.
Amanda
We love you and your little. Your little. I almost called them guinea pigs. We love you and your little prairie dogs. Thank you so much, Tommy.
Shane
Are those. Thank you for watching. I hope this was as shocking to you as it was for me.
Tommy
So shocking.
Shane
If this gets 14 likes, Amanda has to watch Palm Springs.
Tommy
That's right.
Amanda
And I won't.
Tommy
Okay, hit that notification bell like and subscribe.
Shane
All right, we'll see you later. Bye bye.
Ryan Seacrest
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Podcast Summary: Smosh Mouth – Episode #65: "Never Have I Ever..."
Episode Information:
After a period of experimentation and limited appearances, Shayne and Amanda return to the "Smosh Mouth" podcast format with the special guest, Tommy. The hosts express excitement about getting back into the podcasting groove.
The episode centers around playing the classic party game "Never Have I Ever," a suggestion from Selena. The hosts reminisce about past attempts to incorporate similar games into their content, highlighting the conversational nature of podcasts versus the game’s interactive style.
The trio establishes the rules for their game, deciding on a finger-drop mechanic to indicate experiences they have had.
The conversation kicks off with questions about Googling oneself and the complexities of internet fame.
Amanda shares a poignant story about her imaginary friend, Bob the Bear, revealing deep personal insights.
Tommy and Amanda discuss their married lives, humorously addressing issues related to wedding rings and commitments.
The topic shifts to amusing and relatable culinary accidents, particularly spilling spaghetti, sparking laughter and shared experiences.
The hosts delve into their experiences with gambling and investing in cryptocurrency, offering cautionary tales and personal anecdotes.
A discussion on the pitfalls and pressures of online dating ensues, with insights into how dating apps have transformed modern relationships.
The conversation lightens as they share stories about pets, including Tommy’s unique experiences with prairie dogs and Shayne’s encounters with alligators on golf courses.
Amanda recounts a harrowing experience of being hit by a bus, illustrating her resilience and the emotional aftermath of the incident.
As the game progresses, Amanda emerges as the clear winner, having shared the most experiential stories, including her traumatic bus incident. The hosts reflect on the depth and humor of their shared experiences, ending the episode on a heartfelt and comedic note.
Throughout the episode, several quotes stood out for their humor and emotional depth:
Episode #65 of "Smosh Mouth" offers an engaging blend of humor, personal stories, and candid conversations as Shayne, Amanda, and Tommy navigate through the game of "Never Have I Ever." From childhood memories and marital anecdotes to serious experiences and comedic mishaps, the trio provides listeners with an authentic and entertaining glimpse into their lives. The episode skillfully balances light-hearted banter with deeper reflections, making it a must-listen for fans and newcomers alike.
Notable Timestamped Quotes:
This episode exemplifies the dynamic chemistry among the hosts, providing both laughs and meaningful moments that resonate with a broad audience.