#82 - Solving The Hardest Riddles We Could Find

Summary

Podcast Title: Smosh Mouth
Host/Authors: Shayne Topp (Shane), Amanda Lehan-Canto (Amanda), and Damien Haas (Damien)
Episode: #82 - Solving The Hardest Riddles We Could Find
Release Date: February 24, 2025

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Introduction and Guest Welcome (00:56 - 01:37)

The episode kicks off with Shane welcoming listeners and introducing Amanda and their special guest, Damien Haas. The trio engages in playful banter, setting a lighthearted tone for the episode.

• Shane: “Hello. Welcome to Smoshmouth.”
• Amanda: “Hello. I'm Amanda. And we have a very special guest with us today, Damien Haas.”

Brainstorming Horror Movie Ideas (01:07 - 02:33)

Shane and Amanda muse about potential horror movie plots involving evil clones and alternate universes. They imagine scenarios where online impersonations create sinister duplicates in parallel worlds.

• Shane: “What if we need to pitch a movie? A horror movie where every time someone pretends to be you online, their profile pic actually makes another you in another universe.”
• Amanda: “You just pitched an awesome horror movie.”

Gaming Discussions and Proposed Collaborations (02:33 - 04:06)

The conversation shifts to their shared love for video games like Resident Evil and Dark Souls. They explore the idea of collaborative gaming sessions where one hosts while the others spectate, maintaining the game's mystery without providing assistance.

• Shane: “When I watch those, I'm like, I want to do that. I want to show you the games.”
• Amanda: “I love that.”

Riddle Challenge Introduction (04:06 - 10:03)

Damien introduces the main segment of the episode: solving riddles from a website titled 105 Riddles for Kids. Amanda expresses her apprehension about riddles, fearing she's not adept at them, while Shane and Damien show confidence in tackling the challenges.

• Amanda: “I'm really bad at riddles. I despise them.”
• Damien: “We’re gonna go through and just see how many we can figure out. Just for fun.”

Solving Easy Riddles (10:03 - 23:00)

The trio begins with simpler riddles, navigating through trick questions and straightforward puzzles. Amanda struggles initially but catches on with some riddles, demonstrating varying problem-solving approaches among the hosts.

• Damien: “How many months have 28 days?”
• Amanda: “One. February. What?”
• Damien: “Actually, all of them have 28 days.”

Noteworthy moments include Amanda's realization of riddle nuances and Shane's humorous frustration with trick questions.

Animal Riddles Segment (24:00 - 30:08)

After a brief detour into animal-related riddles, Amanda shines, providing correct answers effortlessly. The hosts find this segment more engaging and enjoyable, encouraging listeners to engage with animal-themed puzzles.

• Shane: “What kind of dog never bites? Hot dog.”
• Amanda: “What do you call a fresh bulldog on a summer day? A hot dog.”

Transition to Adult Riddles (30:08 - 38:14)

Encouraged by their success with animal riddles, the hosts move on to more challenging adult riddles. This section delves into complex puzzles, requiring deeper thinking and lateral problem-solving skills.

• Damien: “The person who makes it has no need for it. The person who buys it has no use for it. The person who uses it can neither see nor feel it. What is it?”
• Shane: “A coffin.”

Amanda's competence improves, and the group collaboratively works through the riddles, sharing laughs and insights along the way.

Riddles from Good Housekeeping (38:14 - 53:00)

Shifting to riddles sourced from magazines like Good Housekeeping, the hosts tackle questions that blend humor with wit. This segment includes playful interactions and creative thinking, showcasing the hosts' chemistry and rapport.

• Riddle: “What gets shorter as it gets older?”
• Damien: “A candle.”
• Amanda: “So if your cousin has a kid, what are you to the kid? You're the aunt/uncle.”

Amanda and Shane share personal anecdotes related to the riddles, adding depth to the discussion.

Viral YouTube Riddles and Humorous Interludes (53:00 - 61:00)

The trio addresses viral riddles popular on YouTube, interspersed with humorous takes and references to pop culture. This section highlights their ability to blend humor with intellectual challenges.

• Shane: “Where can you finish a book without finishing a sentence? In jail, because you can read in jail but you're not done with your sentence.”
• Damien: “What is the longest word in the dictionary? Smiles, because there's a mile between each 's'.”

Final Riddles and Wrap-Up (61:00 - 67:45)

In the concluding segment, the hosts attempt the last few riddles, showcasing their problem-solving prowess and humorous interactions. The episode wraps up with reflections on the riddle-solving experience and encouragement for listeners to participate by submitting their own riddles.

• Shane: “What is the wealthiest nut? Nothing.”
• Amanda: “What are four and five? Nine.”

They engage in playful teasing and discuss potential future collaborations, such as gaming sessions, reinforcing the episode's friendly and entertaining atmosphere.

• Shane: “We’re kind of the dream team... We can handle any mystery school.”
• Amanda: “Put us together, we'll go to trivia night.”

Notable Quotes

• Amanda (04:18): “I’m really bad at riddles. I despise them.”
• Damien (31:15): “The person who makes it has no need for it. What is it?”
• Shane (37:22): “It’s a sponge.”
• Amanda (43:53): “I want glasses of wine and then I go and I crush the glass with my bare hands.”
• Shane (52:56): “What is the wealthiest nut? Nothing.”
• Damien (65:50): “What fruit is never alone? Bananas. They come in a bunch.”

Conclusion

Episode #82 of Smosh Mouth delivers an engaging blend of humor, camaraderie, and intellectual challenge through its riddle-solving segment. Shane, Amanda, and Damien showcase their distinct personalities and problem-solving approaches, making for an entertaining listen. The episode not only entertains but also invites listener participation, fostering a sense of community and interaction among fans.

Listeners are encouraged to submit their own riddles and engage with the podcast's content, ensuring ongoing engagement and interaction. The hosts' playful dynamics and genuine enthusiasm for riddles create a memorable and enjoyable podcast experience.

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Note: Advertisements and promotional segments present in the transcript have been omitted to maintain focus on the episode's core content.

Transcript

[Amanda]

We're so done with New Year. New you this year it's More youe on Bumble. More of you shamelessly sending playlists, especially.

[Shane]

That one filled with show tunes. More of you finding Geminis because you know you always like them.

[Amanda]

More of you dating with intention because you know what you want and you know what we love that for you.

[Shane]

Someone else will too. Be more you this year and find them on Bumblebee.

[Amanda]

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[Damien]

Hello. Welcome to Smoshmouth. I'm Shane.

[Amanda]

Hello. I'm Amanda. And we have a very special guest with us today, Damien Haas.

[Shane]

Thank you. Amanda, bring out the guest. No, thank you. Hey. Welcome.

[Damien]

And another Damian walks down and sits down.

[Shane]

If I had a nickel.

[Amanda]

I don't know. I don't know.

[Damien]

You guys found him again.

[Amanda]

I don't know.

[Shane]

My life is like a movie, man. I keep getting the evil clones. Sucks.

[Damien]

That's just how it goes, you know?

[Amanda]

I love an evil clone. That'd be awesome.

[Shane]

What if we need to pitch a movie? A horror movie where every time someone, like, pretends to be you online, there's like, amanda, fan, whatever, and it's like their profile pic, it actually makes another you in another universe.

[Amanda]

You just pitched an awesome horror movie.

[Shane]

And it's just begun.

[Amanda]

Don't tell anybody.

[Shane]

Leave it in. I got more.

[Damien]

Before we started, we were talking about Resident Evil. We were talking about how fun it is to watch you and Angela play that with Spencer.

[Shane]

I was saying, and this is not from, like, a casting perspective. It's from, like an audience viewer perspective. When I watch those, I'm like, I want to do that. I want to show you the games. Not as though, like, Damien of Smosh should do that instead. I mean, like, yeah, I'm like, oh, those are my friends.

[Amanda]

Like, because we're just. We love learning about it. We're like, oh, my God. What? Who is this?

[Damien]

There's so many games, too. I mean, a pitch that I threw out a long time ago. We'll see if we do this or something like it is, Damien, you and I sitting down with Amanda and letting her play Dark Souls. But you and I can't say or do anything. We have to just sit there and just. And just let you play.

[Amanda]

You're not going to say anything?

[Damien]

Well, we can say stuff, but we. We just have to be chill and just, like, let you.

[Shane]

Here's the stipulation.

[Damien]

We can't help you.

[Shane]

We don't backseat game. We don't tell you what to do. I don't know if I can help. Not lore dropping. Because Dark Souls does so much environmental stuff where I'm like, see that dead body in the corner? Actually, that implies that this entire order of holy figure.

[Amanda]

I would love to just play. Just, you know, cold turkey. Just play. And you guys just drop lore.

[Damien]

We could do that.

[Shane]

I think you have to pay me.

[Damien]

I'll just come in, do that at first. And then I actually think you would love watching those games because there's so much mystery.

[Amanda]

I'm telling you. I think that I would actually be a gamer, but I won't let myself go there because when I get into a game, I get really addicted, and then I want to do it forever. And I'm like, I can't. I can't.

[Shane]

I also think Dark Souls would get you because you're like. You're just the right level of, like, fun, competitive, where, like, Dark Souls is really hard. But you would be like, I have to try it again. I have to. I can get past. Okay, I have to try it again.

[Amanda]

I love that.

[Damien]

And then you would. You would definitely enjoy watching. Dude. You would love watching Bloodborne.

[Shane]

I think we just described hanging out. I was like. I was like, you need to pay me. I'll do this. And I'm like, wait a minute.

[Damien]

That's called hanging out.

[Shane]

I'm playing lies of P right now, actually. Oh, it's great. It is the spiritual successor to Bloodborne, except you play as Pinocchio. Literal Pinocchio.

[Amanda]

Stop. Does his nose grow?

[Damien]

That's his sword.

[Shane]

Yes, actually.

[Damien]

You have to tell lies, then hit people with it.

[Shane]

You look good today.

[Amanda]

That's amazing.

[Damien]

Sick.

[Amanda]

Wow. I'm in.

[Shane]

Okay, great.

[Damien]

Guys, before we get into what we're gonna do today, which is solving riddles.

[Shane]

That's why I'm wearing glasses. You gotta be smart.

[Damien]

That's why we Dark Souls, we plug. We found a bunch of websites with a bunch of riddles. So we're gonna go through and just see how many we can just figure out. Just for fun.

[Amanda]

Can I be honest?

[Damien]

Yeah. What's up.

[Amanda]

I'm really bad at riddles. Like, I. I read a lot of fantasy. I read a lot of fantasy books. And all the heroes, like, have to face all these riddles. And I was like, I should study this just in case. Like, when I go on my hero's journey and I get faced with riddles.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

And to save my mate, my love, I have to solve the riddle.

[Damien]

Can I. Can I say something about this?

[Shane]

Reminds me, I wish you would.

[Damien]

Riddle related. Some of my favorite movies. The Indiana Jones movies, the OG Trilogy. I was rewatching Last Crusade, and there's a part where they're in this library in Italy, and it's like, there's like this whole riddle. It's like an X marks the spot. Like, or 10. Like, X, like. And he's walking around this library, and he's trying to figure it out, and suddenly he's like, wait. And he, like, runs up the stairs and looks down, and the entire time they were just standing on a giant X that was on the floor of, like, the marble floor of the library. And I'm like, you guys are dumb. I'm like, at that point, you guys are dumb.

[Shane]

But that's also riddles literally look down and that's riddles.

[Amanda]

That's kind of riddles, but also, like.

[Shane]

We have the advantage of living in a world where that movie exists and you grow up with it. And you're like, well, now I know if when someone says, there's an ex, I gotta look for an ex.

[Damien]

That's true.

[Shane]

And your shitty ex girlfriend's just standing in the corner like, I'm supposed to give you something. That's what it means.

[Damien]

Oh, it was Cheryl.

[Shane]

The whole Cheryl's here. Like, I've been sitting here for 10 years because the prophecy.

[Amanda]

Because the prophecy, the weird.

[Shane]

The extra riddle that they. I don't get into for that. If you watch, like, an Indiana Jones deep dive, Italians can't read.

[Damien]

That's true. And they never cover that.

[Shane]

I'm Italian. I can say it.

[Damien]

Wow.

[Shane]

Like, why is there a library?

[Amanda]

Wow.

[Damien]

Italy. Before we pull up these riddles, we got to talk about a couple months ago or a couple weeks ago. A couple episodes back, I challenged our fans to show smosh mouth to animals.

[Amanda]

Yeah. And I got worried. I was like, wait a second.

[Damien]

People are going to get hurt.

[Amanda]

Because I thought people were going to get hurt. I was, like, lying.

[Damien]

And maybe people have. We don't know.

[Amanda]

Well, we won't see those pictures.

[Damien]

But I was like, I want Smoshmouth to Have been seen by, like, every kind of animal.

[Shane]

Oh, that's great. Like a Noah's Ark. But Shane and Amanda's Hubert, this podcast.

[Damien]

Yeah, we're the Noah's Ark of podcast.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Damien]

And people have gotten to work on it.

[Amanda]

It's unbelievable.

[Damien]

So we have someone named Nervous Big showed it to a deer.

[Amanda]

Yo, how freaking cute is that?

[Damien]

That deer is just watching. Smosh mo.

[Shane]

I love that.

[Amanda]

Our team went crazy. They're like, you guys, people are showing smash mouth to animals. And we said, we have to bring it on the pod right now.

[Damien]

User ucs on Reddit showed it to their guinea pigs. One of the guinea pigs is watching. One of them doesn't.

[Amanda]

Yeah, One of them's like, I don't know.

[Damien]

Yeah, let's see. Diana rants showed it to her dog. Classic.

[Amanda]

Classic.

[Shane]

Yeah, classic.

[Damien]

Oh, that's a bunny. Oh, sorry. I thought that was like a. Like a little chihuahua. That's a bun.

[Amanda]

Could you.

[Shane]

It's a very dark photo.

[Amanda]

Wow.

[Shane]

Like, the phone was definitely like, we're looking at the TV today.

[Damien]

Bumblebee showed it to her cat. So we got a cat having seen it. I then a user on Tick Tock showed it to a magpie so we can show the screenshot.

[Shane]

Those remember faces.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Shane]

They're gonna mess you up.

[Amanda]

They're gonna find us.

[Damien]

They're gonna be into it. So keep showing them to animals. My big request is I want to have see, like, monkeys watching.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Damien]

Now, see, you're going to extra points if the monkey is holding the phone.

[Amanda]

Why?

[Damien]

If the monkey is holding the phone watching. Smoshmouth.

[Amanda]

No. You are out of your mind. Have you ever dealt with monkeys?

[Shane]

Are you worried about, like, a big chimp?

[Damien]

No, not apes.

[Amanda]

No, no, no. Monkeys love taking electronics. They love it.

[Shane]

Step one's done.

[Amanda]

No, I.

[Damien]

They also love, like, taking apart scarecrows.

[Amanda]

What?

[Shane]

Especially if they can fly. Yeah. And the scarecrow's like, whoa. Yeah.

[Amanda]

Is this wizard of Oz?

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

Okay, I know you have a crush on her, but anyways. So listen, you do the Delda Zine. No, don't. People are going to think that's a real name.

[Damien]

The Wicked Witch was one of my. Hear me out.

[Amanda]

No. Monkeys take electronics and, like, bang them against trees.

[Damien]

They fix them.

[Shane]

They do.

[Damien]

You know, they'll update your phone even if you don't want them to.

[Shane]

So the FS can do it. Just fix a jukebox. But a monkey can't fix my camera.

[Amanda]

Exactly.

[Shane]

I would request. If we're going monkeys. Have you ever seen the one that's like a perfect sphere. And it just sits there.

[Damien]

Yes. Yes. Wait, and you present him with. With fruit.

[Shane]

Yes. Yeah.

[Amanda]

An old lady capuchin. Capuchin monkey.

[Shane]

No. Maybe. I guess I'm not up to monkey.

[Damien]

He could be a man. We don't know.

[Shane]

We got a capuchin that's a bonobo's ape. And that's just Richard.

[Damien]

That's Richard. That's a guy.

[Amanda]

He's like. They'll know.

[Damien]

This monkey's so funny. He's gotten so accustomed to his life.

[Amanda]

Wow.

[Shane]

I would request. I think having any kind of actual attention of sea life is going to be difficult. It could even be a sea mammal, I'll give you that. But, like.

[Amanda]

And I request that it's in the ocean and not in an aquarium.

[Shane]

Yeah. You know what? I want one of those, like, I want one of those, like, deep sea, like, submarine videos. They're like, oh, we got eyes on this. And like, I've never seen one like that before. Is that a nautilus? It's watching Smoshmouth.

[Amanda]

Smash mouth.

[Damien]

Yeah. Literally, if someone can show Smoshmouth to a live anglerfish, get on it. Hundreds, if not thousands of feet deep into the ocean is outrageous.

[Amanda]

And I will protect our fans because what you're asking is outrageous. But also, I'd love to see it.

[Shane]

I've got to call in a favor, and I'm real sorry to Italy about the thing I said before. I did eat a football fish while I was in Italy, and that's like, an angler fish, so I'm assuming it doesn't die, and then they pull it up for 10,000ft or whatever. I think it's got to have its last few gasping moments on land.

[Amanda]

No, they have to be live.

[Shane]

I know. Where am I? And you're like, look, it's there.

[Amanda]

Be alive and well, guys. Don't scare any animals to show them Smash mouth. Don't listen to these guys. Okay, I got your back.

[Damien]

I have a website here, 105 Riddles for Kids. We want to solve transition.

[Shane]

These are for kids.

[Amanda]

What a way to transition.

[Shane]

Oh, Shane, I. All right, buddy.

[Amanda]

Oh.

[Damien]

The episode is about solving riddles, and I have some riddles. We're gonna start easy, so 105 riddles for kids just in case.

[Shane]

These are really easy. Are you gonna be mad if we're.

[Damien]

Like, no, I think we could breeze through a lot of these.

[Amanda]

I'm trying to get harder. I'm not gonna get any of these.

[Damien]

Okay, let's let. I'll Let. Amanda. Amanda, I've got the first one for you. This is the first one under Easy riddles.

[Shane]

And if I know, I'll be quiet, but I'll also go.

[Damien]

Okay? Are you ready, sir? How many months have 28 days?

[Amanda]

One. February. What?

[Shane]

That's not a riddle. That's like a.

[Damien]

How many months?

[Amanda]

I didn't ask. I didn't ask for school facts. I want riddles. I want fun.

[Shane]

Wait, here's a riddle. What's the first president of the United States?

[Amanda]

You're not asking me that, right?

[Shane]

No. That's not a riddle.

[Amanda]

No.

[Damien]

Cool.

[Shane]

Yeah, Totally similar to. This is not a riddle.

[Amanda]

Totally. No, totally. That's awesome. February. 1.

[Damien]

That is incorrect.

[Amanda]

Why are you doing this to me? Why? This is not a riddle.

[Damien]

Incorrect. I don't know what to tell you. That's wrong.

[Amanda]

Oh, oh. Because there's a riddle in it. Because February has 28 days.

[Damien]

I know. It does have 28 days.

[Amanda]

What are you. Wait, what did you say? What's the question?

[Damien]

I said, how many months have 28 days?

[Amanda]

One.

[Damien]

All of them have 28 days.

[Amanda]

This is why I hate riddles. I actually. It's not that I'm not good at them. I actually despise them. And I requested that we never did this episode, and they forced it on me.

[Shane]

See, I think that one falls into the realm of, like, yes, it's a riddle, but it's more of, like, a trick question as opposed to, like, I was expecting, like, greater than 4b. I, but 6 is too far from my eye. What am I? I'm like, the number five. Like.

[Damien]

Yeah. All right, all right. I've got some more that. These next ones are a little more riddle.

[Amanda]

Sure, sure, sure. Yeah.

[Damien]

Okay. I have many teeth, but I can't bite. What am I?

[Shane]

It's a comb.

[Damien]

It's a comb.

[Amanda]

Did you guys just do this to fucking humiliate me? Are you guys here to just.

[Damien]

I'm not going to be this good at it.

[Amanda]

Just to get me or. I can't wait till I have the.

[Shane]

All right, do you want me to not do that? No.

[Amanda]

Do it.

[Damien]

What can you hold in your right hand but never in your left.

[Shane]

Your left hand.

[Damien]

That is correct.

[Amanda]

So here's what happens to my brain. It goes, you don't know the answer, and then it shuts.

[Shane]

So it's confidence.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Shane]

You have your moment in the, like, teen drama movie where you take off your glasses and we go, Egbert.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And you've actually been so good at riddles the whole time.

[Damien]

Amanda. Amanda.

[Amanda]

What?

[Damien]

There's only one word in the dictionary that's spelled wrong. What is it?

[Amanda]

Wrong.

[Damien]

There you go.

[Amanda]

If I didn't get that right, I would walk out of here, get in my car. Drive. Drive real fast.

[Damien]

Hey. What's full of holes and still holds water?

[Shane]

Your fucking story. How.

[Damien]

Your alibi.

[Shane]

Your alibi.

[Amanda]

What's full of holes and still holds water? Holy water.

[Damien]

I. I'll give it to you. I respect that.

[Amanda]

Thank you.

[Damien]

But, I mean, it's not correct.

[Amanda]

No, totally.

[Shane]

A sponge.

[Damien]

It is a sponge.

[Amanda]

You knew it, but you acted like you did it.

[Shane]

No, because at first I thought it was a cup. Because I'm like, there's one hole on the top, and a straw also has two holes, so there's one on the bottom or one hole, depending. But then. It's a sponge. It's a sponge. Yeah.

[Damien]

What has a head and a tail but no body?

[Shane]

Coin.

[Damien]

Yeah. There you go.

[Shane]

Sorry.

[Amanda]

No, that's great. Do you guys do this for fun? You guys keep doing this.

[Damien]

What can fill a room but takes up no space?

[Shane]

Silence. Noise. I don't know.

[Amanda]

Wait. Light.

[Damien]

Nah, you got it.

[Amanda]

I'm staying. Strapping in. Here we go.

[Damien]

What can you catch but not throw?

[Shane]

A cold? Or these hands.

[Amanda]

Do you practice? Do you practice?

[Shane]

Man, I'm gonna be so real with you.

[Amanda]

What, you do riddles for fun?

[Shane]

No.

[Amanda]

You and Shane text riddles.

[Shane]

It just. It just comes with the territory. Look, I'm not gonna figure out necessarily who's mad at me and when, but this shit is on lock.

[Amanda]

That's incredible. That is incredible.

[Damien]

What two things can you never eat.

[Shane]

For breakfast, lunch and dinner?

[Damien]

There you go.

[Shane]

I don't know. I've had struggle meals.

[Amanda]

As a social person, I'm not gonna do well.

[Shane]

You got the. But, see, you got the light thing, remember? Wrong.

[Amanda]

Yeah, I did. I did.

[Damien]

I don't know why the light on this iPad goes in and out.

[Shane]

That can fill the room, but it doesn't take Spider. Yeah, exactly.

[Damien]

What comes down but never goes up?

[Amanda]

Rain.

[Damien]

There you go.

[Amanda]

I know how rain works. Yeah.

[Shane]

It's also Rainn Wilson. Gravity does it. Sucks for him.

[Amanda]

Oh, my God, it does.

[Shane]

He's not looking well. Yeah, it's hard.

[Damien]

What goes up and down but never moves?

[Shane]

A roller coaster or an escalator or the stock market.

[Amanda]

But it moves.

[Shane]

Or. Yeah.

[Damien]

What goes up and down but never moves?

[Shane]

Thermometer.

[Amanda]

It moves. Wait. What goes up and down but never moves?

[Damien]

Never moves?

[Shane]

Volume.

[Amanda]

Air.

[Shane]

No, that moves up and down.

[Damien]

What goes up and down but never moves?

[Shane]

The tone of your voice.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

Are you serious?

[Shane]

Oh, I guess a lot of things.

[Amanda]

What goes up and down?

[Damien]

You guys give up?

[Amanda]

No, we don't.

[Shane]

The stock market. It doesn't move.

[Amanda]

What goes up and down but doesn't move? Can you give us a hint?

[Shane]

Oh, a seesaw. No, that's moving, but it doesn't move. It's not changing locations.

[Amanda]

What goes up and down but doesn't move?

[Damien]

I don't know how to give it.

[Amanda]

Wait, wait, wait. What goes up and down but never. But never moves? Your anger.

[Damien]

Whoa.

[Shane]

Your emotions, Shane. Is it your anger? Amanda, get out the letter that we both prepared.

[Damien]

You guys. You don't. You don't get it. It's a stairway.

[Amanda]

No, no, we actually refuse that.

[Shane]

Answer this because that assumes that you're a human. And if you're a cow, you can't go downstairs.

[Amanda]

Exactly. You could, but it would be really.

[Shane]

Hard to watch, and it hurts.

[Amanda]

It would hurt. So much shame.

[Shane]

Their little legs. Think of them.

[Damien]

Which question can you never answer yes to? I think I disagree with this one. I fully disagree with this one. This one's wrong.

[Amanda]

Which question can you never.

[Damien]

Which question can you never answer yes to something?

[Shane]

Like, can you answer now? Or is this question right? Or are you lying? Is your next sentence a lie? Oh, is your next question a lie?

[Damien]

No, this is. I think this is definitively wrong. It's. Are you asleep?

[Amanda]

Because you're sleeping.

[Damien]

But I know for a fact if.

[Amanda]

You'Re a sleep talker. Of course you can.

[Damien]

I have answered yes to that, and I have not remembered it because I was asleep when I answered yes to it.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Damien]

So does anyone else want to take the.

[Amanda]

Yeah, I do. I want the power.

[Damien]

If you want to scroll down further, I think they get a little more challenging.

[Amanda]

Yeah, I'm gonna get tricky. I'm tricky.

[Damien]

Go to tricky.

[Shane]

Yeah. If this is not saw level, where you have me hooked up to a device and you bring up something from.

[Amanda]

My desk, can you imagine?

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

Okay. What can run but never walks? Water has a mouth but never talks.

[Damien]

Sorry, is it a river?

[Amanda]

Yeah, it's a river. I did. I had, like, a whole other paragraph.

[Shane]

I didn't know. I'll do Pepperdi rules.

[Damien]

I got to get through it. No, I'm fine. There's no points for this.

[Amanda]

No, I don't care. Because I'm on this side. I'm on the way.

[Damien]

Runs water.

[Shane]

River has a mouth.

[Damien]

River babbles. Abrupt trivia Night at a bar.

[Amanda]

You're just yelling out, wait do you crush trivia night? Do you even go? Can you. Are you even allowed to go?

[Damien]

No, I think. I think trivia night, but not for.

[Shane]

The reasons you think.

[Damien]

Trivia night would be, is tough because they cover such different categories.

[Shane]

Yeah, I'm just, like, sweating there with a blank page. I'm like, not a single Pokemon question all damn night. Like, what?

[Amanda]

Yeah, I feel like Ian would do really well at trivia.

[Damien]

You need to assemble a team. I've thought about this. You need a team because we have.

[Amanda]

People who are calling in a team right now.

[Damien]

It'd be, you need. You need movie people, you need music people, you need, like, history people. Like, like, 20th century history.

[Shane]

So that's going to be Ian. Yeah, it's like our next category. He's like, no, I know.

[Damien]

Like, pop culture people from the past, like, years.

[Amanda]

Okay, so you.

[Damien]

Do you kind of need a range of types of people, kind of just assemble your team. Honestly, Smosh could assemble a killer Nick Fury.

[Amanda]

Okay, what is in seconds, minutes, seasons, and centuries, but not in decades, years, or days.

[Damien]

Oh, clock, clock.

[Amanda]

No, wait.

[Shane]

In seconds, minutes.

[Amanda]

What is in seconds, minutes, seasons, and centuries, but not in decades, years, or days?

[Shane]

It's gonna be the letters. I just need the seconds. Minutes. Is it seconds, minutes.

[Damien]

I'm gonna be worse at this than you. I'm not good at riddles, especially if I'm, you know, I'm a visual person.

[Amanda]

Do you need to read the question and the answer and then you'll get it.

[Shane]

Can you repeat it one more time, please?

[Amanda]

What is in seconds, minutes, seasons, and centuries, but not in decades, years, or days?

[Damien]

Right. Circles, cycles.

[Amanda]

No, outside if you want.

[Shane]

Seconds, minutes. Seconds, Minutes. What?

[Amanda]

In centuries, seconds, minutes, seasons, and centuries? Do you guys want to know the answer?

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

Or is this gonna.

[Shane]

I'm like. I. I feel like it's the letters. Is gonna be like, ah, second letter E. Or like it's not syllables, but. Go, go.

[Amanda]

Warmer. You're getting warmer. E. No.

[Shane]

Seconds, minutes. Is it N?

[Amanda]

Yes.

[Shane]

Yeah. Okay.

[Damien]

It's the letter N. You clocked that it was letters.

[Amanda]

Wait.

[Shane]

Thanks.

[Amanda]

N. What is in seconds?

[Shane]

It is in seconds. The letter N. Minutes.

[Damien]

But not.

[Amanda]

You clocked a letter immediately. That's incredible. Okay, well done. You win money.

[Shane]

Thank you. Money.

[Amanda]

Okay, this one's interesting. A man went out for a walk and it started to rain. He didn't have a hat, an umbrella, a hoodie, or anything else he could use to cover his head, but no hair on his head got wet. How is this possible?

[Damien]

The doctor was the mother roosters can't lay EG.

[Amanda]

No.

[Shane]

Sorry.

[Damien]

One more time.

[Amanda]

No.

[Shane]

He's a bald McBalderson.

[Amanda]

That's the answer. That's crazy that you guys got that.

[Damien]

He was bald. That was the answer.

[Amanda]

A rooster that was sitting on the roof of a bar and it's. Yeah.

[Shane]

Oh, is that really the next one?

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Shane]

That's so funny.

[Amanda]

Yeah. These are supposed to be. You guys must have done the tricky game. Okay.

[Shane]

A pound weighs the same whether it's feathers or gold.

[Amanda]

No, stop.

[Damien]

That feel is heavier than feathers.

[Shane]

Stop.

[Amanda]

It's heavier than feathers, okay? It belongs to you, but your friends use it more. What is it?

[Shane]

Your name.

[Damien]

Whoa.

[Shane]

Your name.

[Damien]

Unless you're me, and I look in the mirror and I go, shane, Shane.

[Amanda]

Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane.

[Shane]

It's your name on dvd special edition extra features, Final answer. Sorry.

[Amanda]

Okay, why do I have the weird ones? A cowgirl rode into town on Friday. She stayed for three nights and rode out on Friday. How is this possible?

[Damien]

The horse's name is Friday.

[Amanda]

That's awesome. Yeah, totally. For sure.

[Damien]

See me, I've been through the desert on a horse with no name.

[Amanda]

I love that song.

[Shane]

That's actually one of my favorite songs.

[Damien]

A really great song.

[Shane]

Do you want to. Guys want to know something, like, deep lore secret about me that I don't tell people about?

[Amanda]

Yes.

[Shane]

Sometimes if I'm hearing that song when I drive, I switch it out in my brain to a horse with no bones. And I think about a horse just sort of, like, flopping around like a tumbleweed to a very serious song, and it just makes me giggle.

[Amanda]

Whoa.

[Damien]

Okay.

[Amanda]

That's awesome.

[Shane]

I'm also. You may. I'm on. That's sick.

[Amanda]

That's so sick.

[Damien]

Did I tell you guys that I've been going through a lot?

[Shane]

I'm on. I'm also on.

[Amanda]

I'm also on new meds.

[Shane]

I don't know if I told you guys I'm on new meds.

[Amanda]

I've also been going through a dark time. Yeah.

[Damien]

Yeah. Oh, the horse's name is Meds.

[Amanda]

Sometimes I think there's some deep voice. Sometimes I think it doesn't have bones. Just walks around on the desert.

[Damien]

Your therapist's like, yeah, I'm writing that down.

[Amanda]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Shane]

Like, I'm really glad to hear that.

[Amanda]

Wow. Thank you for that. Very vulnerable.

[Damien]

We're crushing this.

[Amanda]

Okay. Mine all have, like, girl did this. Blah, blah, blah.

[Damien]

What's happening when.

[Shane]

I'm sorry. When is a time in society for a man to do a riddle?

[Amanda]

Exactly. Okay. A railroad crossing without any cars. Can you spell that without any Rs?

[Shane]

Is it just R? R?

[Amanda]

A railroad crossing.

[Damien]

Intersection without any cars.

[Amanda]

Intersection. Intersection. How does this make sense? Oh, wait. This doesn't make sense.

[Damien]

What is this?

[Amanda]

This doesn't make any sense.

[Shane]

Railroad crossing without any cars. That's a station. A railroad station.

[Amanda]

This actually doesn't make any sense. It's that. T, H, A T. Oh, wait.

[Damien]

Can you spell that without ours? Give me a break.

[Amanda]

Ew. I hate this.

[Shane]

Ew.

[Amanda]

Enough.

[Damien]

Five.

[Amanda]

This is disgusting. And I'm sorry.

[Shane]

What is this list for kids?

[Amanda]

I'm going to do two more, and then I'll hand it to you, good sir.

[Shane]

Thank you.

[Amanda]

Animal riddles.

[Shane]

Finally.

[Amanda]

What kind of dog never bites hot dog. Correct. What do you call a fresh bulldog on a summer day?

[Shane]

Old mouthless pony, which I think Angela probably took care of at some point.

[Amanda]

What?

[Shane]

Angela takes care. Weird dogs, right?

[Amanda]

Yeah, she probably doesn't have a mouth.

[Shane]

Can't bite.

[Amanda]

That's so true. Spork. What do you call a French bulldog on a summer day?

[Shane]

Bulldog on a summer day.

[Damien]

Pierre.

[Amanda]

A hot dog.

[Damien]

Give me a break. Hot dog was the answer for both.

[Shane]

Yeah, Pretty saddle up. There's 10 more dog riddles, and you're never gonna believe the night.

[Amanda]

Pretty sick. In fact, I think that the animal riddles, we should probably just skip.

[Damien]

Yeah, Fair.

[Amanda]

Do you want to choose? Yeah, you can scroll down to food riddles.

[Damien]

All right, so now that Damien has the iPad, we're not going to get through any riddles.

[Amanda]

It's gonna be like one.

[Damien]

Okay, let's see if we can solve one more riddle.

[Shane]

What kind of room has no doors or windows?

[Amanda]

Escape room.

[Damien]

Has no doors and no panic. Room that has a door.

[Shane]

That's just factual.

[Amanda]

No doors or windows.

[Damien]

Like, it's like a metaphorical one. It's gotta be like, what's. What's something that's room, but it's not a physical room. Like, like, you know, leave room for emotion or, you know, the answer is.

[Shane]

Holding space for defying gravity.

[Amanda]

Is that really the answer?

[Shane]

No, no, no.

[Amanda]

That would be awesome.

[Shane]

It's just. I also, like, I don't know when these come out, so I'm like, that's already an old.

[Amanda]

Wicked riddles.

[Shane]

Wicked riddles. Riddles from Boston. Wicked riddles.

[Damien]

So what kind of room has no doors and no windows? Oh, I've. I've heard this riddle before and I completely forgot.

[Amanda]

What kind of room has no doors and no windows?

[Damien]

A B room.

[Shane]

What? Oh, a broom.

[Damien]

A broom.

[Shane]

You Know what?

[Damien]

A butt room.

[Shane]

You're on the right track.

[Amanda]

A butt room. That's what I heard.

[Shane]

I heard a butt room.

[Amanda]

Wait, he's on the right track with.

[Shane]

Broom in terms of, like, lateral thinking for this riddle. I mean, I can give you the answer at any time as well.

[Damien]

I give up.

[Amanda]

I give up.

[Shane]

A mushroom.

[Damien]

Give me a break.

[Shane]

I know some of these are. I'm gonna skip past the food ones.

[Amanda]

That's not fair.

[Damien]

It's. It's.

[Amanda]

It's. Add in mushroom.

[Shane]

I'll write them.

[Damien]

It's not a type of room. Is what's. What's confusing about it. Right?

[Shane]

It falls under the mush category.

[Amanda]

Pisses me off. That just pisses me off.

[Damien]

That just pisses me off.

[Shane]

How can five plus nine equal two?

[Damien]

You know, they just figure it out.

[Amanda]

I don't like doing this.

[Shane]

It's a Neil DeGrasse Tyson one.

[Damien]

Oh, well, it's two numbers.

[Shane]

It's two numbers. No. How can five plus nine equal two?

[Amanda]

That's not the answer.

[Damien]

I thought. I thought I had.

[Amanda]

No, like, that's not the answer. You just said a fact. How can what?

[Shane]

How can five plus nine equal two?

[Amanda]

Five plus nine. I know there's something easy here.

[Shane]

They're two numbers.

[Amanda]

We're not doing well.

[Damien]

Two numbers, man.

[Shane]

On account of just two numbers. And I was like, mic drop.

[Damien]

Did you teach. This is your thesis review. What the hell? Didn't do it.

[Amanda]

We're screwed.

[Damien]

We're screwed.

[Amanda]

I felt like. When I was guessing with Damian, I felt like this, like, wind of confidence. And now I'm feeling we also got.

[Shane]

To the harder stuff. At the beginning, it was very like.

[Damien]

How can five plus nine equal two?

[Shane]

Would you like the answer minus.

[Damien]

Minus 12? You know, because they're two numbers. Yeah.

[Shane]

When discussing time, five plus nine hours is 2:00pm Give me a break.

[Amanda]

I hate this.

[Damien]

Give me a break.

[Amanda]

This is the kind of stuff that makes me feel like I'm having problems.

[Damien]

I use military time, so it's hard for me to decipher that.

[Shane]

It's already 15 past 14. Time for me to get to PT. I'm on firewatch tonight.

[Amanda]

Why do we have the hardware?

[Damien]

Couple more. We'll move on to riddles for adults.

[Amanda]

Yeah. No, seriously. Oh, no.

[Shane]

How are you supposed to survive when minimum wage doesn't pay your living needs? Okay, we're in numbers. Ones. And if you want me to move away from numbers, I love numbers. We'll do one more numbers, and then I'll move on from that.

[Damien]

I love numbers. Ones because one's a number.

[Shane]

If two's company.

[Amanda]

Oh, wait.

[Damien]

Three's company is a great show, and.

[Shane]

Three'S company is a great show. If two is a company and three is a crowd, what are four and five?

[Amanda]

Too much.

[Shane]

I'm saying, you know, four and five. If two's company and three is a crowd, what are four and five?

[Amanda]

Numbers.

[Damien]

That's great.

[Amanda]

Thank you. No, no, thank you.

[Shane]

Really good numbers.

[Amanda]

I'm done. Teach. What are 4 and 5?

[Damien]

They can't show this episode to aliens or they won't come down.

[Amanda]

Or they'll.

[Damien]

Give up on human. You know, we'll give.

[Amanda]

You know what? We're gonna move on to Mars.

[Shane]

This one doesn't.

[Damien]

I'm confused by the setup of this one.

[Amanda]

What are four and five? It's something about the way that they're. They're set. Two's a company, three's a crowd.

[Shane]

You're gonna be mad.

[Amanda]

Four.

[Damien]

I'm gonna be pissed off at this one.

[Amanda]

Fours.

[Shane]

The answer is nine.

[Damien]

Give me a break.

[Shane]

Four and five or nine.

[Amanda]

Okay, this is why I don't want to do numbers.

[Damien]

That. That.

[Amanda]

You.

[Shane]

You're.

[Damien]

You're. By that logic, your answer's correct, too.

[Amanda]

Yeah, I said numbers.

[Shane]

They are numbers, and they are numbers. Some of these are puns. Let's see. Okay. What has a thousand needles but cannot sew?

[Amanda]

Porcupine.

[Shane]

That is correct.

[Damien]

Wow.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Damien]

You haven't given them a shot.

[Amanda]

Give me animals all day, baby.

[Shane]

The Alphabet goes from A to Z, but I go from Z to A. What am I?

[Damien]

Zebra.

[Amanda]

Zebra.

[Shane]

That is correct, y'all. We found the niche. It's animals.

[Amanda]

That's incredible. Well done.

[Shane]

It's animals time, baby.

[Amanda]

Literally. Nice.

[Damien]

I think we're ready for adult riddles.

[Amanda]

You think after that?

[Damien]

After just two, I feel ready now.

[Shane]

Let's do it.

[Amanda]

Move on to adult riddles.

[Shane]

Are there actually adult riddles?

[Damien]

Oh, yeah. We've got a bunch more riddles.

[Shane]

Oh, thank God. Okay.

[Amanda]

Taxes.

[Shane]

I was like, I'm gonna have to really slow down through this list.

[Amanda]

Car insurance.

[Damien]

Plenty. Guys, we have one from Reader's Digest. We have one from Woman's Day. We have one from Good House Digest.

[Amanda]

Do you guys remember having that in your house?

[Shane]

No.

[Amanda]

Little magazine thing. My parents used to have it. It had, like, channels still around. How about TV channels?

[Shane]

Yes.

[Amanda]

It was really cool.

[Shane]

I don't think we ever had it, but I remember, like, just being in, like, whatever checkout aisle in the grocery store. There's all these, like, little books.

[Amanda]

Little books cross. They're always like soap operas on them.

[Shane]

Yeah, on the COVID It's like sailor's fish wife.

[Amanda]

I wish that was a soap opera.

[Shane]

It's gotta be. I was almost on a sub days of it.

[Damien]

Okay, Damon, I feel like. I feel like you guys have probably heard this one before. The person who makes it has no need for it. The person who buys it has no use for it. The person who uses it can neither see nor feel it. What is it?

[Shane]

Nothing.

[Amanda]

Or.

[Shane]

The person who makes.

[Amanda]

The person who makes it has no need for it.

[Damien]

The person who buys it has no use for it. The person who uses it can neither see nor feel it.

[Shane]

What is it? Oh, a name.

[Amanda]

Just kidding.

[Damien]

No.

[Shane]

Poop.

[Damien]

Nope.

[Shane]

It's also poop.

[Damien]

I think you're mad, Damian. I think you're going to wish.

[Amanda]

I think it's something in the ether. It's not hope.

[Shane]

One more time.

[Damien]

The person who makes it has no need for it. The person who buys it has no use for it. The person who uses it can neither see nor feel it.

[Shane]

What is it? Person who makes it has no use for it.

[Damien]

The person who makes it has no need for it.

[Amanda]

Has no need for it.

[Damien]

The person who buys it has no use for it. The person who uses it can neither see nor feel it.

[Amanda]

What can you make? What is it that you don't need? It's not oxygen. It's not hope.

[Shane]

It's the buying that makes me. Cause I'm like, oh, we make all kinds of things, but it's the buying of it.

[Amanda]

Yeah, you can't buy anger.

[Shane]

Yeah, you can't buy a plant.

[Amanda]

You can.

[Damien]

I haven't seen that.

[Shane]

I'm gonna have to go Google that.

[Amanda]

That's crazy.

[Shane]

Jamie, can we get that up on the.

[Damien]

Do you give up?

[Amanda]

Whoa. So fast.

[Shane]

The person who buys it, though. I feel like I will be frustrated, but go for it.

[Amanda]

Money.

[Damien]

A coffin.

[Amanda]

Oh, sad, sad stuff.

[Damien]

Okay, wait.

[Amanda]

No, I'm kidding.

[Shane]

That one I disagree with.

[Amanda]

Let me hear why.

[Shane]

I'm working on my own coffin now. I'll need that one day.

[Amanda]

Wait, now I guess you could. Is that your big project that you keep talking about?

[Shane]

It's one of the ones I won't let you see.

[Amanda]

You're like, I'm doing well. I'm on new meds.

[Shane]

I think if you buy it, you can just have it.

[Damien]

Okay.

[Shane]

No, my meds are for my tics. I'm not blinking as much. It's pretty cool.

[Amanda]

Howdy there. This episode is brought to you by Meundies. Your underwear drawer is kind of like the wild west of your wardrobe.

[Damien]

Why are you talking like that?

[Amanda]

Because. I don't know. Because it just felt right. Basically. All I'm trying to say is that your underwear is from, like, all different parts of the world. It's from two Christmases ago, birthdays. Some don't fit, some are ripped. You're like, why do I even have this here? And lately all I'm reaching for is my buttery, soft meundies. It's all I want to wear.

[Damien]

They are pretty great. You know, they sent me a pair and I'm wearing them right now. And it's like. It's like I'm wearing air. They're so comfortable. And they've got tons of different patterns to choose from. They've got some. Some wild ones, but they've also got the classics. I went with the classics, not the wild ones. I didn't go with it. They've got every pattern you can think of. They've got it. But I went with the classic black. You know, that's my favorite. Oh, and they're unbelievably comfortable.

[Amanda]

They are. And they have them in almost every size. They go from excess to 4 XL. So you're guaranteed a flattering cut for every body.

[Damien]

Get 20% off your first order, plus free shipping on orders of $75 [e-mail] Smoshmouth Enter promo code smoshmouth. That's meundies.com Smoshmouth Code Smoshmouth for 20 off MeUndies. Comfort from the outside in. Yeehaw. Back to the show.

[Amanda]

See, you're into it.

[Damien]

I am.

[Amanda]

This episode is brought to you by zocdoc. Shane. Have you ever woken up with, like a really funky symptom and you don't know what it is, like a rash or an itchy eye or a pain in your neck and you're really worried it's something worse and then you looked it up and immediately regretted it. Yeah, we all go down this rabbit hole, but let's get the help and care that you need. And the best way to do that is through ZocDoc.

[Damien]

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[Amanda]

Let's go. This episode is brought to you by Greenlight. Get this. Adults with financial literacy skills have 82% more wealth than those who don't. From swimming lessons to piano classes, us parents invest in so many things to enrich our kids lives. But are we investing in their future financial success? With Greenlight you can teach your kids financial literacy skills like earning, saving and investing. And this investment costs less than that. After school treat start prioritizing their financial education and future Today with a risk free [e-mail] Spotify greenlight.com Spotify. Your data is like gold to hackers. They're selling your passwords, bank details and private messages. McAfee helps stop them. Secure VPN keeps your online activity private. AI powered text scam detector spots phishing attempts instantly. And with award winning antivirus, you get top tier hacker protection. Plus you'll get up to $2 million in identity theft coverage. All for just $39.99 for your first year. Visit McAfee.com cancel anytime terms apply. Wait. If you're a vampire, this doesn't apply.

[Shane]

And this is.

[Amanda]

And it's what we do in the shadows. They sleep in their coffin constantly.

[Shane]

You think they just took it? Yeah, they made it. Or they bought it and they need it.

[Damien]

Check this out. You walk into a room that contains a match, a kerosene lamp, a candle and a fireplace. What would you light first?

[Shane]

The room because you're turn on.

[Amanda]

Hold on. A match. A kerosene lamp, a fireplace and what else?

[Damien]

A candle and a fireplace. What would you light first?

[Amanda]

Can't light a match on nothing. You'd obviously light the match. So you can light them all the match.

[Shane]

Oh, that's it.

[Amanda]

Wow. Easy, simple.

[Shane]

Oh well, yeah.

[Amanda]

See this is like the X marks the spot one.

[Shane]

Yeah. Cause I was like simp.

[Amanda]

Oh whoa. What did I just say?

[Damien]

I like this one. If your uncle's sister is not your aunt, what relation is she to you?

[Amanda]

I don't like this one.

[Damien]

What?

[Shane]

Your mom?

[Damien]

Yeah. Yeah, man.

[Amanda]

I didn't give myself a chance.

[Damien]

Haha. The answer was your mom.

[Shane]

Yeah, I actually didn't say that. Right.

[Damien]

Your mom.

[Amanda]

So if your cousin has a kid, what are you to the kid?

[Shane]

That's your dad.

[Amanda]

That's what bothers me so much.

[Shane]

No, that's your once removed. Right. There's that second cousin I always get.

[Amanda]

So you say full on once removed. Okay.

[Shane]

I don't know. I just don't talk to my family. That's helpful.

[Amanda]

That's awesome.

[Shane]

Yeah, that helps. Yeah.

[Amanda]

Nice.

[Damien]

Does this have challenging riddles? Challenging riddles. And then it goes down to easy riddles.

[Amanda]

Did you think we were just doing.

[Damien]

And then viral riddles for adults.

[Shane]

Whoa.

[Amanda]

Sick. As a YouTube channel. Guys, we're gonna read some of the most viral YouTube riddles ever.

[Damien]

Hey, Paul.

[Shane]

Brothers walk into a room.

[Damien]

Which is heavier, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?

[Shane]

Bricks, because. Bricks heavier than feathers. I don't get it.

[Amanda]

What?

[Shane]

It's a sketch.

[Amanda]

That's just obvious.

[Damien]

There's an incredible sketch.

[Amanda]

Oh, great. Another thing that I sketch from.

[Shane]

No, I have to show you. It's a sketch from a Scottish comedian, and it's just him, like, having a breakdown about a very basic riddle when people are trying to explain it to him. Oh, he's like, what's heavier, a kilogram of steel or a kilogram of feathers? That's right. It's a kilogram of steel. Cause steel's heavier than feathers. Then everyone's, like, trying to explain to him, like, no, they're both a kilogram.

[Damien]

He's like, oh, it's so good.

[Shane]

Steel's heavier than feathers. Like, no, it's a kicker.

[Amanda]

That's a really good accent.

[Shane]

Thank you. It was when I got there, but thank you.

[Amanda]

Really good.

[Damien]

How much dirt is in a hole that's 2ft long and 3ft wide?

[Shane]

None. It's a hole.

[Damien]

That's right.

[Amanda]

Huh?

[Shane]

Talking about hole.

[Damien]

Fish. A hole.

[Amanda]

Oh, right. That's a hole. I was thinking like a hole that you dig into the ground and there's a bottom to it. But that's not a hole, is it?

[Shane]

It is a hole, but you take the dirt out of it to make it a hole. And if you put the dirt back in, it's not really a hole anymore.

[Amanda]

I guess you can't really make a hole in the ground.

[Shane]

Yep.

[Damien]

You want to read some?

[Shane]

Sure.

[Damien]

I didn't look at the.

[Amanda]

You want to read some?

[Shane]

You want to read some too? Because you read some. Trading some back. Okay, cool.

[Amanda]

I'll go. After you. I'll wait to. I'll go to the hard ones. The real hard ones.

[Damien]

If you get to the end of these, you can move on to a different list.

[Amanda]

Save the hard ones.

[Shane]

Okay, this is. I have cities, but no houses. I have mountains, but no trees. I have water, but no fish. What am I?

[Damien]

Map.

[Shane]

Yes.

[Amanda]

I was totally gonna guess that.

[Damien]

Map.

[Amanda]

Dunk. I love maps. I have a huge map in my house. It's awesome. And I point to it and I go, going there. I'm kidding.

[Damien]

I have it. Can I pitch it? Can I tell you a sketch idea that I. I have that I've had for a while? It has to do with maps. So have you ever heard about people being like, oh, we're gonna throw a dart at a map and we're gonna go. So it's like, okay, honey, like for your. For our anniversary gift, take this dart. And I want you to throw it on this map. And we're gonna go to wherever the dart lands. She's like, oh, my gosh.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Damien]

And she throws the dart and it perfectly lands. It's like, oh, it's on Los Angeles. Oh, let's get closer. Oh, my gosh. That's crazy. It's Derek's house. I guess I have to go to Derek's house.

[Amanda]

He's like, oh, it's like, oh, yeah.

[Damien]

I guess we'll both go. She's like, I guess I'll pro go myself.

[Amanda]

I think I'll just go by myself. And Derek's like, did you throw the dart? And she's like, yeah.

[Damien]

Cuz when I heard someone do that, they're like, oh, he threw it and it landed on Italy. I was like, that's lucky. I was like, what if it. What if it landed on.

[Amanda]

What if it land in the middle of the ocean?

[Damien]

What if it landed in Milwaukee and you just go there.

[Shane]

Anniversary. It was chobal and we kept throwing more darts and it kept landing on the same dart somehow like Robin Hood splitting it into Chernobyl. So you want to share Noble?

[Amanda]

That's hilarious.

[Shane]

This one's fun. It's also. It shows up in the game the lies of P. Which is just like bloodborne, but with Pinocchio.

[Amanda]

I can't wait to play it.

[Shane]

What gets shorter as it gets older?

[Damien]

A person.

[Shane]

See, that's what I said.

[Damien]

A person.

[Amanda]

What gets shorter as it gets older?

[Damien]

A candle.

[Shane]

That is correct.

[Amanda]

I didn't even have a second.

[Damien]

A candle.

[Shane]

It's cause candles have bone loss.

[Amanda]

Where are you tossing that?

[Damien]

The teacher's just like, okay, from. From here on out, for every episode of Smoshmouth, I need to have like 10 basketballs here. And I just throw them.

[Amanda]

That will make me feel like a mother every time. That will make you be like my.

[Damien]

Little kid every time. I crush it on this podcast. I need to grab one just fine.

[Shane]

But then you get to have 10 of smash mouths.

[Amanda]

I want glasses of wine.

[Shane]

There we go. Ten glasses of wine.

[Amanda]

And then I go and I crush the glass with my bare hands.

[Damien]

And at the end of every episode of Smoshmouth, you're just so drunk. And I get traded to the Mavs.

[Amanda]

Uh huh.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Shane]

In exchan for first round picks six years from now.

[Damien]

Hell yeah.

[Shane]

Like, yeah. You got traded to dropout, but they get first round pick six years from now. It's crazy. A couple of guys, a couple of dudes. Fellas. I like this one. What do you lose the moment you share it?

[Damien]

Secret.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Damien]

What?

[Shane]

It's a secret.

[Amanda]

That was so chosen. Oh, there it went in the artifact.

[Shane]

The amulet. The amulets. I think I unfortunately got that from the chosen because it's been a thing for me for a while where I'm just like, oh, dude, the amulet. Like, I need the amulet.

[Damien]

You said the amulet for a long.

[Shane]

I think I took that. I definitely lifted that from you, and I'm proud of it.

[Damien]

I don't think so. I'll take it. I don't think so. I think you've been mentioning the amulet since I met you.

[Amanda]

So he stole. So you stole.

[Shane]

Wait a minute.

[Amanda]

Borrowed.

[Shane]

This is actually very important. Did someone look like me? Ask about the amulet. My God. He's escaped.

[Damien]

God.

[Shane]

We got Kosovo.

[Amanda]

Get me a bottle of Cab SOB.

[Shane]

You know what's crazy is I did imagine your space work was so good. I thought it was a glass goblet. When you said crushing it with your hands. I had a man.

[Amanda]

No, I did.

[Shane]

Oh, my God.

[Amanda]

So then at the end of the episode, I just have glass in my hand, and there's so much glass that.

[Shane]

We have to see important arteries. So many important nerves. Do you want this?

[Amanda]

Yes.

[Shane]

You got it.

[Amanda]

What is taken before you can get it?

[Shane]

Your order for at a restaurant.

[Amanda]

Nope.

[Damien]

Okay. What is taken before you can get it?

[Amanda]

Although that does actually make sense.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Damien]

What is taken before you can get it?

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Damien]

My freaking virginity, dude.

[Shane]

Ew.

[Damien]

Fucking God.

[Amanda]

You get. Huh? But you have your virginity.

[Shane]

I lost my virginity. So now I'm good enough so that you can get it.

[Damien]

Okay, okay. Being for real now.

[Amanda]

What is taken before you can get it? This is a weird question.

[Shane]

Test results. I also think order.

[Amanda]

I feel like this was made like back in the day.

[Shane]

Wait, Liam Neeson's family?

[Amanda]

Totally.

[Damien]

I. I say it's like your food at a restaurant, your order.

[Amanda]

Now that.

[Damien]

That felt like.

[Shane]

Because. Yeah, yeah.

[Amanda]

What if I was like, oh my God. Yeah.

[Damien]

He'S right.

[Shane]

Yeah. And I agree with Shane.

[Amanda]

Listen, I agree that that is a good answer, but it's not the one that is written.

[Damien]

Well, then I give up.

[Amanda]

Email the Riddler a photo.

[Damien]

Give me a break. Not with how fast digital stuff is.

[Shane]

You live streams. Yeah, zero latency.

[Damien]

Read the next one.

[Amanda]

Okay. What's always I hate you boys.

[Shane]

It's now worse. It's not about the riddles anymore. It's just that we're messing with.

[Damien]

It was never about the riddles, you two idiots.

[Amanda]

Okay, the riddles. What's always on the ground but is never dirty?

[Damien]

The ground.

[Shane]

Grass.

[Amanda]

No.

[Damien]

Whoa.

[Amanda]

Is this stumping you guys?

[Shane]

On the ground? Stump, but never dirty.

[Amanda]

I know. No.

[Damien]

What is on the ground but dirty?

[Shane]

Well, can dirt be dirty the same way? Like, is water wet?

[Amanda]

No, guys. No.

[Shane]

What is on the ground? My jaw.

[Amanda]

I. I feel like I'm this woman who's like, you guys are trying to come in this club. And I'm like, okay, but answer this riddle if you're cool. And you guys are like, oh my j.

[Shane]

If I can get it, my jaw is on the ground. Cuz your mom's your uncle's sister.

[Damien]

Amanda's like, do you know why I pulled you over?

[Amanda]

Do you know I pulled you over? Dirt is dirt. Dirt.

[Shane]

My jaw.

[Damien]

Okay. I don't know.

[Shane]

But it's on the ground. But you can. But it's never dirty. Yeah, I guess.

[Amanda]

And it follows you around. I'm just gonna add that in there.

[Shane]

Oh, your shadow. Yeah, the hedgehog.

[Damien]

Hedgehog from Sonic.

[Amanda]

Good job, guys.

[Shane]

Thanks.

[Amanda]

It's a big hint.

[Shane]

I. Sometimes I stand near walls as the sun is setting, and that's where my shadow is. And it's real dirty. Cough on it. I. You know Pig pen from Charlie Browner? There's always that, like, cloud. See that in my shadow.

[Amanda]

That's you.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

Wow, great. Like scary.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

Okay, what gets smaller every time it takes a bath?

[Shane]

The soap.

[Amanda]

Yeah, that one was sucked, dude.

[Damien]

Also me.

[Shane]

Also Shane.

[Damien]

When I get out of the bathtub, I'm just a little bit littler.

[Shane]

I knew you gotta stop scrubbing so hard.

[Amanda]

I knew you were shrinking. Knew.

[Shane]

Like I really exfoliate the bottom of my feet. Really?

[Damien]

I'm a Russian nesting doll.

[Amanda]

I'm gonna move real quick to Reddit.

[Damien]

Do it.

[Shane]

Am I The asshole for putting my wife in a saw. Like, situation update.

[Amanda]

Where can you finish a book without finishing a sentence?

[Damien]

Where can you finish a typewriter?

[Amanda]

Where can you finish a book without finishing a sentence?

[Shane]

Oh, jail. Because you can read in jail, but you're not done with your sentence.

[Amanda]

Yes. That's good.

[Damien]

Whoa.

[Amanda]

That is good.

[Damien]

It.

[Amanda]

Okay, I'll read one more and pass it on.

[Damien]

Shoot this.

[Shane]

I'm sorry, guys. I. Sorry.

[Damien]

Can you hear legitimate window break over there?

[Shane]

I once lost a friend in middle school because I threw a basketball and was so bad at it that it almost hit him. But I started laughing out of nerves, so he thought it was on purpose.

[Damien]

And so I was like.

[Shane]

I was just like, no, I. I didn't mean to. And. Yeah, you know what? Give me another basketball. This is our fantasy. We own this.

[Damien]

Here you go, man.

[Shane]

Thanks, man.

[Amanda]

You really have to. You really have to work through these.

[Damien]

If you lost a friend from that, then he was not your friend.

[Amanda]

See, I went really dark, and I thought you meant lost a friend like.

[Damien]

Oh, like the fray.

[Shane]

Where can you lose a friend but in a song?

[Amanda]

Wow.

[Shane]

We talk about Trevor singing that. That was so sweet. He has such a sweet job.

[Amanda]

Loved it.

[Shane]

Love it.

[Amanda]

He's like, huh?

[Shane]

Trevor's my hero.

[Damien]

Loved that.

[Amanda]

He's so good.

[Damien]

He's really cool.

[Shane]

I hope he knows.

[Amanda]

Okay.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

All right. I'll let Trevor know that you guys miss him. Here's another one. A man runs from. Runs away from home. He turns left and keeps running. After some time, he turns left again and keeps running. He later turns left once more and runs back home. Who was the man in the mask?

[Damien]

What?

[Amanda]

Exactly. Someone made this up.

[Shane]

The murderer chasing him. The man in the mask.

[Amanda]

The man runs away from home. He turns left and keeps running. After some time, he turns left again and keeps running. He later turns.

[Shane]

Umpire. The umpire. He's in a mask. The catcher.

[Amanda]

It's actually the catcher.

[Damien]

Yeah, Mask.

[Shane]

Because.

[Amanda]

But the catcher never really does run the basis. So it's kind of a.

[Shane]

Because the man runs the bases and the man in the mask is there waiting for him at home base to be, like, safe.

[Amanda]

Totally. Okay, last one. Because I think someone definitely just made this up and is going through something. My girlfriend's favorite is. What do you want for dinner?

[Shane]

Oh, got it.

[Damien]

Ha ha ha ha.

[Shane]

You know what?

[Amanda]

What's the answer?

[Shane]

Well, if this person is going through something, it's going to be something like, I. You know, it doesn't matter. I'm good with anything. But then when I Throw something out. It's like, well, we had pizza. Pizza last year. And so I'm like, so I guess it does matter. Is that what it is?

[Amanda]

That's very specific. Yeah, it's. I don't know. Whatever you want.

[Damien]

Yeah. Hahaha.

[Shane]

I do actually have a fix for that. Whether it's text or in person, you go like, hey, I'm gonna put out five food genres, and it's your job to eliminate one. So you text and they'll be like, all right, here's the four we're keeping. I'm like, here's the three we're keeping. Like, here's the two we're keeping. And I'm like, seafood.

[Amanda]

Wow.

[Shane]

So, yeah, that's awesome.

[Amanda]

It's like a whole game.

[Shane]

Yeah, it's. You gamify. You take out the stress. I love gamifying things to take out stress. I'm happy to do the thing.

[Amanda]

You do it Gamify. Take out stress.

[Damien]

You just keep scrolling in the later comments. Just like, yeah. What the fuck does my girlfriend want from me? There's a riddle.

[Amanda]

No, seriously, I don't think that's a riddle. I think that's someone just having a hard time.

[Shane]

Take me out of a window and I leave a grieving wife. But stick me in a door, and I can save somebody's life. What am I?

[Amanda]

Angel.

[Shane]

Wait, I'm gonna. I'll read it one more time. Take me out of a window and I leave a grieving wife, but stick me in a door and I can save somebody's life. What am I?

[Amanda]

Spirit. Take me out of a window and.

[Damien]

I leave a grieving wife.

[Shane]

Mm. But stick me in a door and I can save somebody's life. What am I? This is the kind that, like, you can definitely get, but it's so clever that, like, I don't even think you'll be mad if you don't. It'll just be like, I window and.

[Amanda]

I leave a grieving wife. Stick me in a door and I save someone's life.

[Damien]

A knob.

[Shane]

Not a knob.

[Amanda]

No. Air. Wind.

[Shane]

The answer is two numbers. No, I'm kidding.

[Damien]

I don't. I don't know, man.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

Cause when there's, like, this whole thing that when someone dies, you open the window and let their spirit out. That is. That's not this.

[Shane]

That's. That's very clever, and I hadn't thought of that. That's not this. This one is a little more lateral.

[Amanda]

I don't think a spirit coming in the door would help. Oh, okay. Okay. Okay. Like an opening.

[Shane]

That's clever. And you're. You're now thinking more lateral. So that's. Do you.

[Damien]

A lock? No.

[Shane]

No. Do you want to know the answer?

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Shane]

It's strangely again, the letter N. Take me out of window. I leave a grieving white widow. But stick me in a door. I save somebody's life donor. Oh, it's really clever. But I think without reading it, it's a little hard. You guys know that it's.

[Damien]

Did you guys all know?

[Amanda]

Yeah, they did.

[Damien]

Did you all.

[Amanda]

They're all. They're all shaking their head like, yeah, that's obvious.

[Damien]

We just didn't want to tell you. Here, I'll take this.

[Amanda]

That was really good.

[Shane]

It was good, right? One of the top comments to answer that was a penis.

[Amanda]

What? Putting a penis through a door does not save anyone's life. In fact, it's a lot to deal with.

[Shane]

What if there's a hostage situation? Someone's like, someone better show me a penis through a mail slot right now. I'll kill everyone here.

[Amanda]

And you're like, through a mail slot?

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

Like, sounds painful.

[Shane]

Yeah. Hey, didn't say savings are like this. No good deed goes unpunished.

[Amanda]

Oh, my God. Another wicked reference. And I enjoy you.

[Shane]

I haven't seen it.

[Amanda]

Dancing through life.

[Shane]

Oh, thank you.

[Damien]

Oh, this one's. This one's simple, but I think it's good. How far can you walk into a.

[Shane]

Forest until the center and there and then you're walking out of it.

[Amanda]

Yeah. Because it's like a whole labyrinth.

[Damien]

I'll give it to you. It's halfway.

[Shane]

Oh, yeah. Halfway, because.

[Damien]

Because you can only walk into a forest halfway, and then you're walking out of the forest. So basically, what?

[Amanda]

I kind of also.

[Shane]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Amanda]

I mean. Thanks.

[Shane]

You got it.

[Damien]

Thanks.

[Shane]

Trevor's up to.

[Amanda]

I feel like he's probably singing the fray.

[Shane]

Also, I saw. I think it cut this if it's not cool. But I think I saw on the announcement for it that he's doing Creator Clash.

[Damien]

He is doing Creator Clash.

[Shane]

That's so.

[Amanda]

Hell, yeah.

[Shane]

I know.

[Damien]

He's fighting a guy from Corridor Digital. Right?

[Shane]

That's.

[Amanda]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we knew that.

[Shane]

So Stuck for him.

[Damien]

Yeah, man.

[Amanda]

Oh, my God. He's fighting. Does he. I know how to fight.

[Damien]

Well, train him to kill. Train. I think he'll be training.

[Shane]

I.

[Amanda]

So, Trevor, it's singing and then training.

[Shane]

That's. I'm just. We're just gassing up. Trevor, this episode.

[Damien]

I'm gonna move back to the good Housekeeping.

[Shane]

Finally.

[Damien]

They were kind of starting to be repeats of how can you clean up a room?

[Shane]

A vase of flowers.

[Amanda]

Good Housekeeping.

[Damien]

Who has married many women but was never married.

[Shane]

The priest.

[Damien]

That's right.

[Amanda]

I don't know why I don't like that one.

[Damien]

What? What? Okay, I'm gonna read this one and we'll see.

[Amanda]

This is so Good Housekeeping. Oh, no.

[Damien]

Good Housekeeping.

[Amanda]

I love it. If you guys don't know what Good Housekeeping is, it was like all it was before, like, the Martha Stewart Living. And it was like, in everyone's home for a while or not everyone's.

[Damien]

Guys, get this one. What does a man do only once in his lifetime, but women do once a year after they get on their knees? Good Housekeeping.

[Shane]

Is that real?

[Damien]

No.

[Amanda]

A man only gets on his knees once for his wife. But women.

[Damien]

What does a man do only once in his lifetime, but women do once a year after they are 29?

[Shane]

Probably like a mammogram.

[Amanda]

Yeah, I don't think men get mammograms once, do they?

[Damien]

You're never gonna guess this one.

[Amanda]

It's not. It's. Is it medical?

[Shane]

No.

[Amanda]

Okay.

[Damien]

Dumb as hell. Oh, it is.

[Amanda]

It is as good.

[Damien]

It's as good housing as it gets.

[Shane]

Is it like. Like actually contribute to cleaning the dish? It like. No. Okay.

[Damien]

No.

[Amanda]

I would hate that.

[Shane]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Damien]

The answer is turn 30. What does a man do only once in his lifetime, but women do once a year after they are 29?

[Amanda]

I don't get it.

[Shane]

Because it's like, oh, I'm actually just 30. I'm turning 30. Like, LOL.

[Amanda]

Wait. This is awesome. It's so cringy. This is so good.

[Damien]

It's pretty rough.

[Amanda]

Women reading this magazine, like, back in the day, they're like, oh, my.

[Shane]

Oh, I'll have to start using that.

[Amanda]

Ow.

[Damien]

Diane, you gotta check this out.

[Amanda]

Diane. She's like, I told you not to call me bitch.

[Shane]

I heard the best, like, insult the other day about that. Where they were like, showing off the. Not to get political. The White House press secretary, who's was like only 26, and they kept showing photos of her. And someone was like, in what? Celsius? I'm like, okay, that's really funny.

[Amanda]

These are feeling so funny. Keep going.

[Damien]

I wish I. That. That one stands alone. I can't find others.

[Shane]

The cheese.

[Damien]

I want to find another one that's up. Like, that doesn't matter. Okay.

[Shane]

That one.

[Damien]

What is the longest word in the dictionary?

[Shane]

Is it just another one? Where it's longest.

[Damien]

No, it smiles because there's a mile between each s. Oh, my God.

[Amanda]

Why do I feel like I'm transported back to, like, nostalgic times right now? These are. I feel like we're a bunch of kids who found our mom's magazine. Oh, my God. Highlights.

[Shane]

Highlights. Highlights was great. There was a very big turning point in my life where the Allergist I'd go to, like, once a month. I always used to look at highlights. And then one time they had Shonen Jump, which is like the compilation of like, okay, it's Yu Gi. Oh, and Dragon Ball Z and all that. It was like the comics. And I was like, I think I'll read this one.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Forever changed.

[Amanda]

Transported.

[Shane]

Yep.

[Amanda]

Didn't highlights have, like. Didn't they have, like, their own comic books or like. Oh, yeah, okay, okay, okay. Comic strips.

[Shane]

Gallant makes his bed on weekends. Goofus sets fire to the neighbor's yard.

[Amanda]

And you're like, remember that?

[Shane]

I don't know.

[Amanda]

Guys, sound off in the comments if you guys also had highlights.

[Shane]

They had the like.

[Amanda]

Was that a subscription?

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah. Okay. It was Nickelodeon magazine, please. And then y. Highlights. Those are. Those are like joke riddles, though.

[Damien]

Yeah. I wanted to find more of the joke.

[Amanda]

Riddles are so good.

[Shane]

Then go back to animals from the first.

[Damien]

Hey, guys. What two keys can't open any door?

[Shane]

A flat and B minor.

[Amanda]

What two keys can't open any door. Chastity. Belt key.

[Damien]

Yeah, this is also wrong.

[Shane]

Piano keys.

[Damien]

This is also wrong.

[Amanda]

Well, whatever.

[Damien]

Can't open any door.

[Amanda]

Keys to your heart.

[Shane]

What two keys.

[Amanda]

Keys to your heart.

[Shane]

Keys on Van Nuys.

[Damien]

That's a good one. No. You want to know the answer, Chastity?

[Amanda]

About key.

[Damien]

A monkey and a donkey. A monkey could totally open a door.

[Shane]

And a donkey just goes straight.

[Amanda]

This is perfect. I love these riddles.

[Shane]

Go back to the. The first one had all the animal ones where it's like, which animal cares the most? It's like this one because it loves you in awesome.

[Amanda]

Oh, my God.

[Shane]

Like, it's all those.

[Amanda]

I picture a woman kind of like Sex and City style, but she's like, in like a home with like crochet everywhere. And she's just like, I'm going to start the riddles for Good Housekeeping. And she's writing all of these and she's dying laughing.

[Shane]

A bear. Cuz they always want to call you honey.

[Amanda]

Oh, and her name is like Margaret or Mar. Her friends call her Mark.

[Shane]

Is that her pen name, though?

[Amanda]

That's her oh, my God, you're so right. Her real name is Vivian, and she's a sex goddess.

[Shane]

It's like Vivian, sex goddess is too strong.

[Amanda]

I'll go. Marge, Marge, Marge.

[Shane]

The housekeeping goddess.

[Amanda]

The guy comes home rich, is her husband.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

How's it going, Vivian? Call me Marge. I'm writing.

[Damien]

I am a bird, a fruit and a person. What am I? Kiwi.

[Amanda]

It is a kiwi. Whoa.

[Shane]

Kiwi. Birds are so cute.

[Damien]

What kind of fruit must have a large wedding ceremony with a lot of guests?

[Shane]

Kiwi.

[Amanda]

Wait. What kind of fruit must have a large wedding ceremony with a lot of guests?

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Shane]

A grape. Cause they've got a large family tree.

[Damien]

That's pretty good.

[Amanda]

That's actually really good. You're way too clever for Good Housekeeping.

[Shane]

Oh, thanks. Oh, thank you.

[Amanda]

Uh huh.

[Shane]

Yeah. Huh.

[Damien]

Can't elope.

[Amanda]

I love it. I love this.

[Damien]

What kind of fruit loves to get crazy?

[Amanda]

Honeydew, cocoa, nuts.

[Damien]

It's in all caps.

[Amanda]

It's like honeydew. Wait, coconut.

[Shane]

A coconut. Bananas. Banana.

[Amanda]

Bananas. Oh, my God. This is awesome.

[Shane]

You could just say that for most fruit. Like that one crazy fucking apple. He'll do it too.

[Damien]

What fruit never cheers up a sad banana.

[Amanda]

What fruit?

[Shane]

A forlorn.

[Amanda]

What fruit never cheers up.

[Shane]

A mango, but by your own. A melan.

[Amanda]

Oh, my God. I. Where am I transporting a blueberry.

[Shane]

Because he feels so Blueberry.

[Amanda]

Because it's always blue.

[Damien]

Blueberry's the answer. Blueberry's the answer. Answer.

[Shane]

But I love this song from like ship captains. Like you would sail like a blue flag if your captain had passed. So you're feeling.

[Amanda]

That's so sad.

[Shane]

I might have made that up.

[Amanda]

Last time you're on the ocean. Last time you're on the sea, bud.

[Shane]

Well, actually, it was that. That boat trip and I threw up the whole time.

[Damien]

Oh, yeah.

[Amanda]

You guys went on a boat trip telling each other riddles and you were throwing up.

[Shane]

I don't remember it. I was throwing up.

[Amanda]

Oh, bummer.

[Shane]

The ocean. And I don't. Don't.

[Damien]

Yeah, that sucks.

[Amanda]

Hey.

[Damien]

What fruit is never alone?

[Shane]

Can't elope.

[Amanda]

Bananas. Because they're attached.

[Shane]

They come in a bunch.

[Amanda]

What fruit is never alone? Is alone a key word?

[Damien]

What do you mean?

[Amanda]

Never mind.

[Shane]

Grapes. Because there's a bunch of them.

[Amanda]

Orange. Because it has skin.

[Damien]

Guys, be real.

[Shane]

Okay. Sorry. I'm sorry.

[Amanda]

Be real. Be real. Real.

[Shane]

I'm sorry. I did. I. A pair. Because they always come in pairs.

[Damien]

It's a pair. It says it's a pair.

[Shane]

It's A pair, because I was coming.

[Amanda]

Pairs. I. I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know what this body is. I don't know where I am.

[Shane]

This is the best day I've had in a month.

[Damien]

Why did the citrus tree go to the doctor?

[Shane]

Because it was feeling sick.

[Damien]

To get lemonade.

[Shane]

I love it.

[Amanda]

I love it.

[Shane]

Because it had Lyme disease.

[Amanda]

Oh, that's real. And they won't discuss that in Good House.

[Shane]

And they won't talk about that.

[Amanda]

That's a different magazine.

[Shane]

You've got to be careful about that. You've got to be careful around deer ticks.

[Damien]

What kind of foods are the most fun at parties?

[Shane]

Oh, I saw this one. I know this one, but I saw this one, so I'm gonna zip it.

[Damien]

Can you get it, Amanda?

[Amanda]

What? Most fun.

[Damien]

What kind of foods are the most fun at parties?

[Shane]

I'll give you hints. This one's not a fruit.

[Amanda]

Confetti cake.

[Damien]

This is just a food riddle.

[Amanda]

Confetti cake.

[Shane]

Confetti cake.

[Damien]

Not confetti cake.

[Amanda]

Oh, do you want to guess it? Since you don't. I didn't get it. Right.

[Damien]

He knows it.

[Amanda]

Oh, fuck. What kind of food? It's fun at parties. It could be anything.

[Damien]

It's also a type of just, like, organism. Like it's a whole branch.

[Shane]

It's a fruit. It's not a fruit. It's not a vegetable. Some people would say it's a vegetable. It's not a vegetable.

[Amanda]

Tomato. What? You guys are sick.

[Shane]

It is in relation to the answer to the room that has no windows or doors.

[Amanda]

I forgot that one. I blacked that out.

[Damien]

Fun Guy.

[Amanda]

Oh, can I tell you something? The bar that I worked at for eight years, we had a pizza called the Fun Guy, and it had mushrooms on it, and I didn't get it.

[Shane]

And it had black mold in the kitchen.

[Amanda]

They all. All these women are experiencing black mold right now.

[Damien]

What is the wealthiest nut?

[Shane]

I saw this one, too. Sorry. When I was scrolling, I was like.

[Amanda]

Did you go on this earlier? What is the wealth Wealthiest nut?

[Damien]

What's the wealthiest nut?

[Amanda]

I don't agree with the nut. Because you married into wealth.

[Shane]

He nutted. Now you're rich. You're like. Well, you're stuck with me. You nutted.

[Amanda]

Okay. What is the healthiest nut? Chestnut.

[Damien]

What?

[Amanda]

What?

[Damien]

Hold on, hold on.

[Amanda]

Judge.

[Shane]

I like that.

[Amanda]

Ah, macadamia nut.

[Damien]

Why show your work. Explain your hair.

[Amanda]

They're rich in flavor.

[Shane]

I like chestnut.

[Amanda]

What is richest nut? What is the richest nut?

[Damien]

Wealthiest nut. Wealthy, rich also counts for this, wealthy.

[Amanda]

And rich are totally different.

[Damien]

I know. Rich is quick.

[Shane]

There's a Chris Rock routine about it. There's a Chris Rock routine about it. He's not talking about rich. He's talking about wealthy.

[Amanda]

Okay. What's the wealthiest nut?

[Damien]

Cashew. Cashew. Cash.

[Amanda]

No.

[Shane]

And I also.

[Amanda]

I refuse.

[Shane]

I like that. I like Chestnut.

[Amanda]

Thank you.

[Shane]

And I also would say Mr. Peanut, because that's generational wealth. He is a brand, but he has a company. And monocles aren't cheap.

[Damien]

You're right.

[Amanda]

Good Housekeeping doesn't go there.

[Damien]

Right? Definitely right.

[Amanda]

Wow. I will say the Good House King Housekeeping riddles were my favorites.

[Damien]

That the turning 31 was insane. That fully.

[Amanda]

I thought my answer to that was actually better.

[Damien]

Amanda, when we were talking about this episode, you were like, oh, do I need to come up with riddles? And I was like, sure.

[Amanda]

Okay. I don't have a riddle, but I do have a joke that I was gonna put on there, and I'm going to tell you right now.

[Damien]

Give it to us.

[Amanda]

What did the left butt cheek say to the right butt cheek? You wish. Butt cheeks don't fart.

[Shane]

I think the answer is supposed to be like, you know, let's. Oh, wait. I actually do know the answer to this one, so I'm not going to take your joke.

[Amanda]

No, do it.

[Shane]

Are you sure?

[Damien]

Yeah, I hope.

[Shane]

Like, let's. Please, let's never let some shit come between us.

[Amanda]

If we stick together, we can stop this shit.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Damien]

Yeah, I've heard that one.

[Amanda]

Isn't that one pretty sick?

[Damien]

I got pretty gross.

[Shane]

I got a clever one I like. Okay, but it's. I would have expected it to be on this list. It's the rich need it and the poor have it. What is it, love?

[Damien]

Nothing.

[Shane]

Nothing. Wow.

[Damien]

I'm gutted.

[Amanda]

Honestly, I'm gutted. We need to end on something sweet.

[Damien]

I I Banana. I have a joke that I used to say when I was a teenager that was always a hit.

[Shane]

Boobies, boobies. How do you scare bees with your chest?

[Damien]

Called ghost insects.

[Shane]

Boobies.

[Damien]

I used to be like, why is six afraid of seven?

[Amanda]

Cause seven, eight, nine.

[Damien]

And I'd be like, cause seven is fucking crazy.

[Amanda]

Whoa, wait. A surprise in a riddle. And I love that.

[Damien]

That used to be my go to.

[Amanda]

And people are like, oh, my God, you're the funniest person at Chain Top.

[Damien]

Oh, my God, you should do comedy.

[Shane]

I want, like, what? A lot more like anti riddles. Like the riddle of the Sphinx, where it's like, what walks on four Legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon, and three at night. And, like, what is the. The answer is supposed to be a human because, like, it's a baby that crawls and two legs and then it has a cane when it's in the night of its life. But I just want to be like, oh, that one. Like the fucked up monster of the sands. They're like the fucked up monster of the sands. Yeah.

[Damien]

That one guy.

[Shane]

That one guy, Tony, is very ill, but we like him.

[Amanda]

I will say riddle started off rough for me, but then it got really fun.

[Damien]

Oh, yeah.

[Amanda]

So thanks, guys. That's how it goes for having me over.

[Shane]

What I like about it too, is you see this a lot on, like, smosh games, especially in, like, decept games. But, like, everyone has different ways of thinking. Some people are more direct. Some people are, like, sound based. Other people do, like, lateral thinking. So there were ones here where I'm like, I don't get it. That's hard. And you're like, oh, silly joke. And it's like, oh, I didn't think about it, like. So we're kind of the dream team.

[Amanda]

I got the silly joke.

[Damien]

We can handle any.

[Amanda]

Yeah, put us together mystery school. Yeah, we'll go to trivia night.

[Damien]

Give us your riddles, comment your riddles, and we'll answer them.

[Shane]

Gimme them.

[Damien]

Okay. All right, bye.

[Shane]

Thanks.

[Amanda]

Damien in.

[Shane]

Thanks, Amanda. Oh, yeah. This was so much fun.

[Amanda]

We loved having.

[Shane]

I love that we pitched videos that actually could just be us hanging out. So if you ever want to kick.

[Amanda]

It, let's do it.

[Damien]

Just hang out. Play Dark blood.

[Shane]

Bloodborne. I think Liza might be more Amanda's cup of tea.

[Damien]

Okay.

[Amanda]

Okay. Pinocchio.

[Damien]

All right. All right, bye.