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Shane
Hello. Welcome to Smoshmouth. I'm Shane.
Amanda
Hello, I'm Amanda. And we have a very special guest with us today. Damian Haas.
Damian
Thank you. Amanda, bring out the guest. No, thank you. Hey. Welcome.
Shane
And another Damian walks down and sits down.
Damian
If I had a nickel.
Amanda
I don't know. I don't know.
Shane
You guys found him again.
Amanda
I don't know.
Damian
My life is like a movie, man. I keep getting evil clones. Sucks.
Shane
That's just how it goes.
Amanda
I love an evil clone. That'd be awesome.
Damian
What if we need to pitch a movie, A horror movie where every time someone pretends to be you online, like, Amanda, fan, whatever, and it's like their profile pic, it actually makes another you in another universe.
Amanda
You just pitched an awesome horror movie, and it. Don't tell anybody.
Damian
Just begun.
Amanda
Don't tell anybody.
Damian
Leave it in. I got more.
Shane
Before we started, we were talking about Resident Evil. We were talking about how fun it is to watch you and Angela play that with Spencer.
Damian
I was saying, and this is not from, like, a casting perspective. It's from, like, an audience, viewer perspective. When I watch those, I'm like, I want to do that. I want to show you the games. Not as though, like, Damien of Smosh should do that instead. I mean, like, I'm like, oh, those are my friends.
Amanda
Like, because we're just. We love learning about it. We're like, oh, my God. What? Who is this?
Shane
There's so many games, too. I mean, a pitch that I threw out a long time ago. We'll see if we do this or something like, it is Damian, you and I sitting down with Amanda and letting her play Dark Souls, but you and I can't say or do anything. We have to just sit there and just. And just let you play.
Amanda
You're not going to say anything?
Shane
Well, we can say stuff, but we just have to be chill and just, like, let you.
Damian
Here's the stipulation.
Shane
We don't help you.
Damian
We don't backseat game. We don't tell you what to do. I don't know if I can help. Not lore dropping. Because Dark Souls does so much environmental stuff where I'm like, see that dead body in the corner? Actually, that implies that this entire order of holy.
Amanda
I would love to just play. Just, you know, cold turkey. Just play, and you guys just drop lore.
Shane
We could do that.
Damian
I think you don't even have to pay me. I'll just come in and do that.
Shane
Do that at first. And then I actually think you would love watching those games because there's so Much mystery.
Amanda
I'm telling you. I think that I would actually be a gamer. But I won't let myself go there because when I get into a game, I get really addicted, and then I want to do it forever. And I'm like, I can't. I can't.
Damian
I also think Dark Souls would get you because you're like. You're just the right level of, like, fun, competitive, where, like, Dark Souls is really hard. But you would be like, I have to try it again. I have to. I can get past. Okay, I have to try it again.
Amanda
I love that.
Shane
And then you would. You would definitely enjoy watching. Dude, you would love watching Bloodborne.
Damian
I think we just described hanging out. Like, I was like, you need to pay me. I'll do this. And I'm like, wait a minute.
Shane
That's called hanging out.
Damian
I'm playing Lies of P right now, actually. And I'm. It's great. It is the spiritual successor to Bloodborne. Except you play as Pinocchio. Literal Pinocchio.
Amanda
Stop. Does his nose grow?
Shane
That's his sword.
Damian
Yes, actually.
Shane
You have to tell lies, then hit people with it.
Damian
You look good today.
Amanda
That's amazing.
Shane
Sick.
Amanda
Wow. I'm in.
Damian
Okay, great.
Shane
Guys, before we get into what we're gonna do today, which is solving riddles.
Damian
That's why I'm wearing glasses. You gotta be smart.
Shane
That's why we Dark Souls, we plug. We found a bunch of websites with a bunch of riddles. So we're gonna go through and just see how many we can just figure out. Just for fun.
Amanda
Can I be honest?
Shane
Yeah. What's up?
Amanda
I'm really bad at riddles. Like, I. I read a lot of fanny. I read a lot of fantasy books, and all the heroes, like, have to face all these riddles. And I was like, I should study this just in case. Like, when I go on my hero's journey and I get faced with riddles.
Damian
Yeah.
Amanda
And to save my mate, my love, I have to solve the riddle.
Shane
Can I. Can I say something about. This reminds me.
Damian
I wish you would.
Shane
Riddle related. Some of my favorite movies. The Indiana Jones movies, the OG Trilogy. I was rewatching Last Crusade, and there's a part where they're in this library in Italy, and it's like, there's, like, this whole riddle. It's like an X marks the spot, like. Or 10. Like, X, like. And they're. He's walking around this library, and he's trying to figure it out, and suddenly he's like, wait. And he, like, runs up the stairs and looks down. And the entire time, they were just standing on a giant X that was on the floor of, like, the marble floor of the library. And I'm like, you guys are dumb. I'm like, at that point, you guys are dumb.
Amanda
But that's also riddles.
Shane
Literally, look down.
Damian
That's riddles.
Amanda
That's kind of riddles.
Damian
But also, like, we have the advantage of living in a world where that movie exists and you grow up with it. And you're like, well, now I know if when someone says, there's an X, I gotta look for an ex.
Shane
That's true.
Damian
And your shitty ex girlfriend's just standing in the corner like, I'm supposed to give you something. You're like, that's what it means.
Shane
Oh, it was Cheryl.
Damian
The whole Cheryl's here. Like, I've been sitting here for 10 years. Because the prophecy.
Amanda
Because the prophecy.
Damian
The weird. The extra riddle that they don't get into for that. If you watch, like, an Indiana Jones deep dive, Italians can't read.
Shane
That's true. And they never cover that.
Damian
I'm Italian. I can say it. Wow. Like, why is there a library?
Amanda
Wow.
Shane
Before Italy, before we pull up these riddles, we gotta talk about. A couple months ago or a couple weeks ago, a couple episodes back, I challenged our fans to show Smoshmouth to animals.
Amanda
Yeah. And I got worried. I was like, wait a second.
Shane
People are going to get hurt.
Amanda
Because I thought people were going to get. I was like, lying.
Shane
And maybe people have. We don't know.
Amanda
Well, we won't see those pictures.
Shane
But I was like, I want Smoshmouth to have been seen by, like, every kind of animal.
Damian
Oh, that's great. Like a Noah's ark. But Shane and Amanda's Hubert, this podcast.
Shane
We're the Noah's ark of podcast.
Damian
Yeah.
Shane
And people have gotten to work on it.
Amanda
It's unbelievable.
Shane
So we have someone named Nervous Big showed it to a deer.
Damian
Yo.
Amanda
Freaking cute.
Shane
Is that deer is just watching Smoshmouth.
Damian
I love that.
Amanda
Our team went crazy. They're like, you guys, people are showing smash mouth to animals. And we said, we have to bring it on the pod right now.
Shane
User ucs on Reddit showed it to their guinea pigs. One of the guinea pigs is watching. One of them doesn't.
Amanda
Yeah. One of them's like, I don't.
Shane
Yeah, let's see. Diana rants showed it to her dog. Oh, classic.
Amanda
Classic.
Damian
Yeah, classic. I think that.
Shane
Oh, that's a bunny. Oh, sorry. I thought that was like a. Like a little chihuahua. That's A bunny.
Amanda
How could you get.
Damian
It's a very dark photo.
Amanda
Wow.
Damian
Look at it. The phone was definitely like, we're looking at the TV today.
Shane
Bumblebee showed it to her cat. So we got a cat having seen it. I then a user on TikTok showed it to a magpie. So we can show the screenshot those number faces. Yeah.
Damian
They're going to mess you up.
Amanda
They're going to find us.
Shane
They're going to be into it. So keep showing them to animals. My big request is, I want us have see, like, monkeys watching.
Damian
Yeah.
Amanda
Now, see, you're going.
Shane
Extra. Extra points if the monkey is holding the phone.
Amanda
Why?
Shane
If the monkey is holding the phone watching. Smoshmouth.
Amanda
No. You are out of your mind. Have you ever dealt with monkeys?
Damian
Are you worried about, like, a big chimp?
Shane
Not apes.
Amanda
No, no, no. Monkeys love taking electronics. They love it.
Damian
Step one's done.
Amanda
No, I.
Shane
They also love like, taking apart scarecrows.
Amanda
What?
Damian
Especially if they can fly.
Shane
Yeah.
Damian
And the scarecrow's like, oh, yeah, Is.
Amanda
This wizard of us?
Shane
Yeah.
Amanda
Okay. I know you have a crush on her, but anyways, so listen, you do Adelda Zine. No, don't. People are gonna think that's her real name.
Shane
The Wicked Witch was one of my. Hear me out.
Damian
No.
Amanda
Monkeys take electronics and, like, bang them against trees.
Shane
They fix them.
Damian
They do.
Shane
You know, they'll update your phone even if want them to.
Damian
It's so the FS can do it and just fix a jukebox. But a monkey can't fix my camera.
Amanda
Exactly.
Damian
I would request, if we're going monkeys. Have you ever seen the one that's like, a perfect sphere and it just sits there?
Shane
Yes. Yes.
Amanda
Wait.
Shane
And you present him with. With fruit.
Damian
Yes. Like an old lady.
Amanda
Like a Captain Capuchin monkey.
Damian
No. Maybe. I guess I'm not up to monkey.
Shane
He could be a man. We don't know.
Damian
We got a capuchin. That's a bonobo's ape. And that's just Richard.
Shane
That's Richard. That's a guy.
Amanda
He's like. They'll know.
Shane
This monkey's so funny. He's gotten so accustomed to his life.
Amanda
Wow.
Damian
I would request. I think having any kind of actual attention of sea life is going to be difficult. It could even be a sea mammal. I'll give you that. But, like.
Amanda
And I request that it's in the ocean and not in an aquarium.
Damian
Yeah. You know what? I want one of those, like, I want one of those, like, deep sea, like, submarine videos. They're like, oh, we got eyes on this. And, like, I've never seen one like that before. Is that a nautilus? It's watching smash.
Amanda
Smash mouth. Yeah.
Damian
Literally.
Amanda
It's like, huh.
Shane
If someone can show Smoshmouth to a live angler fish, get on it. Hundreds, if not thousands of feet deep into the ocean is outrageous.
Amanda
And I will. I will. I will protect our fans because what you're asking is outrageous, but also, I'd love to see it.
Damian
I've got to call in a favor, and I'm real sorry to Italy about the thing I said before. I did eat a football fish while I was in Italy, and that's like an angler fish, so I'm assuming it doesn't die, and then they pull it up for 10,000ft or whatever. I think it's got to have its last few gasping moments on land.
Amanda
No, they have to be live. I know.
Damian
Where am I? And you're like, look, it's there.
Amanda
Be alive and well, guys. Don't scare any animals to show them SM mouth. Don't listen to these guys. Okay? I got your back.
Shane
I have a website here, 105 Riddles for Kids. We want to solve.
Amanda
What a transition.
Damian
These are for kids.
Amanda
What a way to transition.
Damian
Oh, Shane, I. All right, buddy.
Amanda
Oh.
Shane
The episode is about solving riddles, and I have some riddles. We're gonna start easy, so 105 riddles for kids, just in case.
Damian
These are really easy. Are you gonna be mad if we're.
Shane
Like, oh, I think we could breeze through a lot of these? I'm telling it harder.
Amanda
I'm not gonna get any of these.
Shane
Okay, let's let. I'll let. Amanda. Amanda, I've got the first one for you. This is the first one under easy riddles.
Damian
And if I know, I'll be quiet, but I'll also go.
Shane
Okay. Are you ready, sir? How many months have 28 days?
Amanda
One February. What?
Damian
That's not a riddle. That's like a how many months?
Amanda
I didn't ask. I didn't ask for school facts. I want riddles. I want fun.
Damian
Wait, here's a riddle. What's the first president of the United States?
Amanda
You're not asking me that, right?
Damian
No, that's not a riddle.
Amanda
No. Cool. Yeah.
Damian
Totally similar to. This is not a riddle.
Amanda
Totally. No, totally. That's awesome. February. 1.
Shane
That is incorrect.
Amanda
Why are you doing this to me? Why? This is not a riddle.
Shane
Incorrect. I don't know what to tell you. That's wrong.
Amanda
Oh, oh. Because there's a riddle in it. Because February has 28 days.
Shane
I know. It does have 28 days.
Amanda
What are you. Wait, what did you say? What's the question?
Shane
I said, how many months have 28 days?
Amanda
One.
Shane
All of them have 28 days.
Amanda
This is why I hate riddles. I actually. It's not that I'm not good at them. I actually despise them. And I requested that we never did this episode, and they forced it on me.
Damian
See, I think that one falls into the realm of, like, yes, it's a riddle, but it's more of, like, a trick question as opposed to, like, I was expecting, like, greater than 4 b. I. But 6 is too far from my eye. What am I? I'm like, the number five.
Shane
Like. Yeah, all right, all right. I've got some more. That. These next ones are a little more riddled.
Amanda
Sure, sure, sure. Yeah.
Shane
Okay. I have many teeth, but I can't bite. What am I?
Damian
It's a comb.
Shane
It's a comb.
Amanda
Did you guys just do this to fucking humiliate me? Are you guys here to just.
Shane
I'm not gonna be this good at it.
Amanda
Are you guys here just to get me. I can't wait till I have the iPad.
Shane
All right.
Damian
Do you want me to not do that?
Amanda
No. Do it.
Shane
What can you hold in your right hand but never in your left?
Damian
Your left hand.
Shane
That is correct.
Amanda
So here's what happens to my brain. It goes, you don't know the answer, and then it shuts completely.
Damian
So it's confidence.
Amanda
Yeah.
Damian
You need to have your moment in the, like, teen drama movie where you take off your glasses and we go, Eggbert.
Amanda
Yeah.
Damian
And you've actually been so good at riddles the whole time.
Shane
Amanda. Amanda.
Amanda
What?
Shane
There's only one word in the dictionary that's spelled wrong. What is it?
Amanda
Wrong.
Damian
There you go.
Amanda
If I didn't get that right, I would walk out of here, get in my car, and drive fast. Drive real fast.
Shane
Hey. What's full of holes and still holds water?
Damian
Your fucking story.
Amanda
How.
Shane
Your alibi.
Damian
Your alibi.
Amanda
What's full of holes and still holds water? Holy water.
Shane
I. I'll give it to you. I respect that.
Amanda
Thank you.
Shane
But, I mean, it's not correct.
Amanda
No, totally.
Damian
A sponge.
Shane
It is a sponge.
Amanda
You knew it, but you acted like you did it.
Damian
No, because at first I thought it was a cup because I'm like, there's one hole on the top, and a straw also has two holes, so there's one on the bottom or one hole, depending, but then it's a Sponge. Sponge. Yeah.
Shane
What has a head and a tail but no body?
Damian
Coin.
Shane
Yeah. There you go.
Damian
Sorry.
Amanda
No, that's great. Do you guys do this for fun? You guys keep doing this.
Shane
What can fill a room but takes up no space?
Damian
Silence. Noise.
Amanda
Wheat light.
Shane
Nah. You got it.
Amanda
I'm staying. Strapping in. Here we go.
Shane
What can you catch but not throw cold?
Damian
Or these hands.
Amanda
Do you practice? Do you practice?
Damian
I mean, I'm gonna be so real with you.
Amanda
Hey.
Shane
What?
Amanda
You do riddles for fun?
Damian
No.
Amanda
You and Shane text riddles.
Damian
It just. It just comes with the territory. Look, I'm not gonna figure out necessarily who's mad at me and when, but this shit is on lock.
Amanda
That's incredible. That is incredible.
Shane
What two things can you never eat.
Damian
For breakfast, lunch and dinner? There you go. I don't know. I've had struggle meals. I've had ramen.
Amanda
I'm not a social person. I'm not gonna do well.
Damian
You got the. But see, you got the light thing, remember? Wrong.
Amanda
Yeah, I did. I did.
Shane
I don't know why. The light on this iPad goes in and out.
Damian
That can fill the room, but it doesn't take space. Exactly.
Shane
What comes down but never goes up?
Amanda
Rain.
Shane
There you go.
Amanda
I know how rain works.
Damian
Yeah, it's also Rain Wilson. Gravity does. Is. Sucks for him.
Amanda
Oh, my God, it does.
Damian
He's not looking well. Yeah, it's hard.
Shane
What goes up and down but never moves?
Damian
A roller coaster or an escalator or the stock market.
Amanda
But it moves Or.
Damian
Yeah.
Shane
What goes up and down but never moves?
Damian
Thermometer.
Amanda
It moves. Wait. What goes up and down but never moves, never moves?
Damian
Volume.
Amanda
Air.
Damian
No, that moves up and down.
Shane
What goes up and down but never moves?
Damian
The tone of your voice.
Shane
Yeah.
Amanda
Are you serious?
Damian
Oh, I guess a lot of things.
Amanda
What goes up and down?
Shane
You guys give up?
Amanda
No, we don't.
Damian
The stock market. It doesn't move.
Amanda
What goes up and down but doesn't move? Can you give us a hint?
Damian
Oh, a seesaw. No, that's moving, but it doesn't move. It's changing locations.
Amanda
What goes up and down but doesn't move?
Shane
I don't know how to give it.
Amanda
Wait, wait, wait. What goes up and down but never but never moves? Your anger.
Damian
Whoa. Your emotions, Shane. Is it your anger, Amanda? Get out the letter that we both prepared.
Shane
You guys. You don't. You don't get it. It's a stairway.
Amanda
No, no, we actually refuse that.
Damian
Answer this, because that assumes that you're a human. And if you're A cow. You can't go downstairs.
Amanda
Exactly. You could, but it would be really hard to watch.
Damian
And you. It hurts.
Amanda
It would hurt so much. Their little legs.
Damian
Shave their little legs. Think of them.
Shane
Which question can you never answer yes to? I think I disagree with this one. I fully disagree with this one. This one's wrong. Which question can you never answer yes to something?
Damian
Like, can you answer no? Or is this question right? Or are you lying? Is your next sentence a lie? Oh, is your next question a lie?
Shane
No, this is. I think this is definitively wrong. It's. Are you asleep?
Amanda
Because you're sleeping.
Shane
But I know for a fact if.
Amanda
You'Re a sleep talk, of course you can.
Shane
I have answered yes to that, and I have not remembered it because I was asleep when I answered yes to it.
Amanda
Yeah. So that one.
Shane
Does anyone else want to take the.
Amanda
Yeah, I do. I want the power.
Shane
If you want to scroll down further, I think they get a little more challenging.
Amanda
Yeah, I'm gonna get tricky. I'm gonna tricky.
Shane
Go to tricky.
Damian
Yeah. If this is not saw level, where you have me hooked up to a device and you bring up something from.
Amanda
My desk, can you imagine?
Damian
Yeah.
Amanda
Okay. What can run but never walks? Water has a mouth but never talks.
Shane
Sorry, is it a river?
Amanda
Yeah, it's a river. I did. I had, like, a whole other paragraph.
Damian
I didn't know. I'll do Pepperdi rules. I gotta get through it.
Shane
No, I'm fine. There's no points for this.
Amanda
No, I don't care because I'm on this side. I'm in the window.
Shane
Water.
Damian
River has a mouth. River babbles. A brook.
Shane
Trivia night at a bar.
Amanda
You're just yelling out, do you crush trivia night? Do you even go? Can. Can you. Are you even allowed to go?
Shane
No, I think. I think trivia night.
Damian
No. But not for the reasons you think.
Shane
Trivia night would be. It's tough because they cover such different categories.
Damian
Yeah, I'm just, like, sweating there with a blank page. I'm like, not a single Pokemon question all damn night. Like, what?
Amanda
Yeah, I feel like Ian would do really well at trivia.
Shane
You need to assemble a team. I've thought about this. You need a team because we have people.
Amanda
Are you calling in a team right now?
Shane
It'd be, you need. You need movie people. You need music people. You need, like, history people. Like, like, 20th century history.
Damian
So that's going to be Ian.
Amanda
Yeah.
Damian
It's like our next category. He's like, no, I know, like, pop.
Shane
Culture people from the Past. Like years.
Amanda
Okay, so you.
Shane
Do you kind of need a range of types of people, kind of just assemble your team. Honestly, Smosh could assemble a killer Nick Fury.
Amanda
Okay, what is in seconds, minutes, seasons and centuries, but not in decades, years or days.
Shane
Oh, clock.
Amanda
No, wait.
Damian
In seconds, minutes.
Amanda
What is in seconds, minutes, seasons and centuries, but not in decades, years or days?
Damian
It's going to be the letters. I just need the seconds. Minutes. Is it seconds? Minutes.
Shane
I'm going to be worse at this than you. I'm not good at riddles, especially if I'm, you know, I'm a visual person.
Amanda
Do you need to read the question and the answer and then you'll get it.
Damian
Can you repeat it one more time, please?
Amanda
What is in seconds, minutes, seasons and centuries. But not in decades, years or days.
Shane
Right. Circles, cycles.
Amanda
No.
Damian
Seconds, minutes.
Amanda
Outside if you want.
Damian
Seconds, minutes. Seconds, minutes. What?
Amanda
In centuries, seconds, minutes, seasons and centuries? Do you guys want to know the answer?
Shane
Yeah.
Amanda
Or is this gonna.
Damian
I'm like. I. I feel like it's the letters. Is gonna be like, ah, second letter E. Or like it's not syllables, but. Go, go.
Amanda
Warmer. You're getting warmer. E. No.
Damian
Seconds, minutes. Is it N?
Amanda
Yes.
Damian
Yeah.
Amanda
Okay.
Shane
It's the letter N. You clocked that it was letters.
Damian
Wait, thanks.
Amanda
N. What is in seconds?
Damian
It is in seconds. The letter N. Minutes.
Shane
But not.
Amanda
You clocked a letter immediately. That's incredible. Okay, well done. You win money.
Damian
Thank you. Money.
Amanda
Okay, this one's interesting. A man went out for a walk and it started to rain. He didn't have a hat, an umbrella, a hoodie, or anything else he could use to cover his head, but no hair on his head got wet. How is this possible?
Shane
The doctor was the mother.
Damian
Roosters can't lay.
Shane
No, wait, sorry, one more time.
Amanda
No.
Damian
He's a baldy McBalderson.
Amanda
That's the answer. That's crazy that you guys got that.
Shane
He was bald. That was balder.
Amanda
A rooster that was sitting on the roof of a bar and it's. Yeah.
Damian
Oh, is that really the next one?
Amanda
Yeah.
Damian
That's so funny.
Amanda
Yeah. These are supposed to be tricky. You guys must have done the tricky game. Okay?
Damian
A pound weighs the same, whether it's feathers or gold.
Amanda
No.
Damian
Okay, stop.
Shane
Felism. It's heavier than feathers.
Damian
Stop.
Amanda
Okay? It belongs to you, but your friends use it more. What is it?
Damian
Your name. Whoa. Your name.
Shane
Unless you're me and I look in the mirror and I go, shane, Shane, Shane, Shane, Shane.
Damian
It's your name. On dvd special edition extra features Final answer. Sorry.
Amanda
Okay. Why do I have the weird ones? A cowgirl rode into town on Friday. She stayed for three nights and rode out on Friday. How is this possible?
Shane
The horse's name is Friday.
Amanda
That's awesome. Yeah, totally. For sure.
Shane
See me, I've been through the desert on a horse with no name.
Amanda
I love that song.
Damian
That's actually one of my favorite songs.
Shane
The really great song.
Damian
Do you want to. Guys want to know something, like, deep lore secret about me that I don't tell people about?
Amanda
Yes.
Damian
Sometimes if I'm hearing that song when I drive, I switch it out in my brain to a horse with no bones. And I think about a horse just sort of, like, flopping around like a tumbleweed to a very serious song, and it just makes me giggle.
Amanda
Whoa.
Shane
Okay.
Amanda
That's awesome.
Damian
I'm also. You mean I'm on sick.
Amanda
That's so sick.
Shane
Did I tell you guys that I've been going through a lot?
Amanda
I'm also on new. I'm also on new meds.
Damian
I don't know if I told you guys I'm on new meds.
Amanda
I've also been going through a dark time. Yeah. Yeah.
Shane
The horse's name is meds.
Amanda
I think this is some deep voice, but I think he doesn't have bones. Just walks around on the desert.
Shane
Your therapist is like, yeah, I'm writing that down.
Amanda
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Damian
Like, I'm really glad to hear that.
Amanda
Wow. Thank you for that. Very vulnerable.
Shane
We're crushing this.
Amanda
Okay. Mine all have, like, girl did this. Blah, blah, blah.
Shane
What's happening when.
Damian
I'm sorry. When is it time in society for a man to do a riddle?
Amanda
Exactly. Okay. A railroad crossing without any cars. Can you spell that without any Rs?
Damian
Is it just RR?
Amanda
A railroad crossing?
Shane
Intersection without any cars, intersect.
Amanda
Intersection. How does this fucking make sense? Oh, wait. This doesn't make sense.
Shane
What is this?
Amanda
This doesn't make any sense.
Damian
Railroad crossing without any cars. That's a station. A railroad station.
Amanda
This actually doesn't make any sense. It's that T. H, A T. Oh, wait.
Shane
Can you spell that without ours? Give me a break.
Amanda
Ew. I hate this.
Damian
Ew.
Amanda
Enough.
Shane
Five.
Amanda
This is disgusting. And I'm sorry.
Damian
What is this? A list for kids.
Amanda
I'm going to do two more and then I'll. To you, good sir.
Damian
Thank you.
Amanda
Animal riddles.
Damian
Finally.
Amanda
What kind of dog never bites hot dog? Correct. What do you call a French bulldog on a summer day?
Damian
Old Mouthless Tony, which I think Angela probably took care of at some point.
Amanda
What?
Damian
Angela takes care. Weird dogs, right?
Amanda
Yeah.
Damian
She probably doesn't have a mouth. Can't bite.
Amanda
That's so true. Spork. What do you call a French bulldog on a summer day?
Damian
Bulldog on a summer day.
Shane
Pierre.
Amanda
A hot dog.
Shane
Give me a break. Hot dog was the answer for both.
Amanda
Yeah.
Damian
Pretty sick.
Amanda
Saddle up.
Damian
There's ten more dog riddles, and you're never gonna believe the ninth floor.
Amanda
Pretty sick. In fact, I think that the animal riddles, we should probably just skip.
Shane
Yeah. Fair.
Amanda
Do you want to choose? Yeah, you can scroll down to food riddles.
Shane
All right, so now that Damien has the iPad, we're not gonna get through any riddles.
Amanda
It's gonna be like, one.
Shane
Okay, let's see if we can solve one more riddle.
Damian
What kind of room has no doors or windows?
Amanda
Escape room.
Shane
Has no doors and no panic. Room that has a door.
Damian
That's just factual.
Amanda
No doors or windows.
Shane
Like, it's like a metaphorical one. It's gotta be like, what's. What's something that's room, but it's not a physical room. Like, like, you know, leave room for emotion or, you know, the answer is.
Damian
Holding space for defying gravity.
Amanda
Is that really the answer?
Damian
No, no, no.
Amanda
That would be awesome.
Damian
It's just. I also, like, I don't know when these come out, so I'm like, that's already an old.
Amanda
Wicked riddles.
Damian
Wicked riddles. Riddles from Boston. Wicked riddles.
Shane
So what kind of room has no doors and no windows? Oh, I've. I've heard this riddle before, and I completely forgot.
Amanda
What kind of room has no doors and no windows?
Shane
A B room.
Damian
What? Oh, a broom.
Shane
A broom.
Damian
You know what?
Shane
A butt room.
Damian
You're on the right track.
Amanda
A butt room. That's what I heard.
Damian
I heard a butt room.
Amanda
Wait, he's on the right track with broom.
Damian
Let's say you're on the. In terms of, like, lateral thinking for this riddle. I mean, I can give you the answer at any time as well.
Shane
I give up.
Amanda
I give up.
Damian
A mushroom.
Shane
Give me a break.
Damian
I know some of these are. I'm going to skip past the food once.
Amanda
That's not fair.
Shane
It's. It's.
Amanda
It's. Add in mushroom.
Damian
I'll write them.
Shane
It's not a type of room. Is what's. What's confusing about it. Right?
Damian
It falls under the mush category.
Amanda
That just pisses me off.
Shane
That just pisses me off.
Damian
How can five plus nine equal two?
Shane
You know, they just figure it out.
Amanda
I don't like doing this.
Damian
It's a Neil DeGrasse Tyson one.
Shane
Oh, well, it's two numbers.
Damian
It's two numbers. Now. How can five plus nine equal two?
Amanda
That's not the answer.
Shane
I thought. I thought I had.
Amanda
No, like, that's not the answer. You just said a fact. How can what?
Damian
How can five plus nine equal two?
Amanda
I know there's something easy here.
Damian
There are two numbers.
Amanda
We're not doing well.
Shane
Two numbers, man.
Damian
On account of just two numbers.
Shane
And I was like, mic drop, teach. This is your thesis review. What the hell? Didn't do it.
Amanda
We're screwed.
Shane
We're screwed.
Amanda
I felt like when I was guessing with Damian, I felt like this, like, wind of confidence. And now I'm feeling.
Damian
We also got to the harder stuff. At the beginning, it was very like.
Shane
How can five plus nine equal two?
Damian
Would you like the answer?
Shane
Minus. Minus 12.
Damian
You know, because they're two numbers.
Shane
Yeah.
Damian
When discussing time, five plus nine hours is 2:00pm Give me a break.
Amanda
I hate this.
Shane
Give me a break.
Amanda
This is the kind of stuff that makes me feel like I'm having.
Shane
I use military time, so it's hard for me to decipher that.
Damian
It's already 15 past 14. Time for me to get to PT. I'm on firewatch tonight.
Amanda
Why do we have the hard work?
Shane
Couple more. We'll move on to riddles for adults.
Amanda
Yeah. No, seriously. Oh, no.
Damian
How are you supposed to survive when minimum wage doesn't pay your living needs? Okay, okay. We're in numbers. Ones. And if you want me to move away from numbers, we'll do one more numbers and then I'll move on from that.
Shane
I love numbers. Ones. Because one's a number, if two's company.
Amanda
Oh, wait.
Shane
Three's company is a great show and.
Damian
Three'S company is a great show. If 2 is a company and 3 is a crowd, what are 4 and 5?
Amanda
Too much.
Damian
I'm saying, you know, 4 and 5. If 2's company and 3 is a crowd, what are 4 and 5 numbers?
Shane
That's great.
Amanda
Thank you. No, no, thank you.
Damian
Really good numbers.
Amanda
I'm done. Teach. What are 4 and 5?
Shane
They can't show this episode to aliens or they won't come down.
Amanda
Or they'll.
Shane
Give up on human. You know what? We'll give.
Amanda
You know what? We're gonna move on to Mars.
Damian
This one doesn't.
Shane
I'm confused by the setup of this one.
Amanda
What are four and five? It's something about the way that they're. They're said two's a company. Three's a crowd.
Damian
You're gonna be mad.
Shane
I'm gonna be pissed off at this one.
Amanda
Fours.
Damian
The answer is nine.
Shane
Give me a break.
Damian
Four and five are nine.
Shane
Okay.
Amanda
This is why I don't want to do numbers.
Shane
That. That.
Amanda
You. You're.
Shane
You're. By that logic, your answer's correct, too.
Amanda
Yeah, I said numbers.
Damian
They are numbers, and they are numbers. Some of these are puns. Let's see. Okay. What has a thousand needles but cannot sew?
Amanda
Porcupine.
Damian
That is correct.
Shane
Wow.
Amanda
Yeah.
Shane
You haven't given them a shot.
Amanda
Give me animals all day, baby.
Damian
The Alphabet goes from A to Z, but I go from Z to A. What am I?
Shane
Zebra.
Amanda
Zebra.
Damian
That is correct, y'all. We found the niche. It's animals.
Amanda
That's incredible. Well done.
Damian
It's animals time, baby.
Amanda
Literally. Nice.
Shane
I think we're ready for adult riddles.
Amanda
You think after that?
Shane
After just two, I feel ready now.
Damian
Let's do it.
Amanda
Move on to adult riddles.
Damian
Are there actually adult riddles?
Shane
Oh, yeah. We've got a bunch more riddles.
Damian
Oh, thank God. Okay.
Amanda
Taxes.
Damian
I was like, I'm gonna have to really slow down through this list.
Amanda
Car insurance.
Shane
Plenty. Guys. We have one from Reader's Digest. We have one from Woman's Day. We have one from Good House.
Amanda
Do you guys remember having that in your house?
Damian
No.
Amanda
Little, like, magazine thing. My parents used to have it. It had, like, channels.
Shane
It's still around.
Amanda
TV channels.
Damian
Yes.
Amanda
It was really cool.
Damian
I don't think we ever had it, but I remember, like, just being in, like, whatever checkout aisle in the grocery store. There's all these, like, little books.
Amanda
Little books, Cross. They're always, like, soap operas on them.
Damian
Yeah.
Amanda
On the COVID it's like.
Shane
Okay.
Damian
Sailor's Fish Wife.
Amanda
I wish that was a soap opera.
Damian
It's gotta be. I was almost on a.
Amanda
So Days of. I.
Shane
Okay, Damon, I feel like. I feel like you guys have probably heard this one before. The person who makes it has no need for it. The person who buys it has no use for it. The person who uses it can neither see nor feel it. What is it?
Damian
Nothing. Or the person who makes.
Amanda
The person who makes it has no need for it.
Shane
The person who buys it has no use for it. The person who uses it can neither see nor feel it.
Damian
What is it? Oh, a name.
Shane
No.
Damian
Poop.
Shane
Nope.
Damian
It's also poop.
Shane
I think you're gonna be mad, Damian. I think you're gonna wish.
Amanda
I think it's something in the ether.
Damian
You say one more time.
Shane
The Person who makes it has no need for it. The person who buys it has no use for it. The person who uses it can neither see nor feel it. What is it?
Damian
Person who makes it has no use for it.
Shane
The person who makes it has no need for it.
Amanda
Has no need for.
Shane
The person who buys it has no use for it. The person who uses it can neither see nor feel it.
Amanda
What can you make? What is it that you don't need? It's not oxygen. It's not hope.
Damian
It's the buying that makes me. Because I'm like, oh, we make all kinds of things, but it's the buying.
Amanda
Yeah, you can't buy anger.
Damian
Yeah, you can't buy a plant.
Amanda
You can.
Shane
I haven't seen that.
Damian
I'm gonna have to go Google that.
Amanda
That's crazy.
Damian
Jamie, can we get that up on the.
Shane
Do you give up?
Amanda
Whoa. So fast.
Damian
The person who buys it, though. I feel like I will be frustrated, but go for it.
Amanda
Money.
Shane
A coffin.
Amanda
Oh, sad, sad stuff.
Shane
Okay, wait.
Amanda
No, I'm kidding.
Damian
That one I disagree with.
Amanda
Let me hear why I'm working on.
Damian
My own coffin now. I'll need that one day.
Amanda
Wait, now I guess you could. Is that your big project that you keep talking about?
Damian
It's one of the ones I won't let you see.
Amanda
You're like, I'm doing well.
Damian
Yeah.
Amanda
I'm on new meds.
Damian
I think if you buy it, you can just have it.
Shane
Okay.
Damian
No, my meds are for my tics. I'm not blinking as much. It's pretty cool.
Amanda
Wait. If you're a vampire, this doesn't apply.
Damian
And this is.
Amanda
And it's what we do in the shadows. They sleep in their coffee constantly.
Damian
You think they just took it? Yeah, they made it or they bought it and they need it.
Shane
Check this out. You walk into a room that contains a match, a kerosene lamp, a candle, and a fireplace. What would you light first?
Damian
The room, because you're. Turn on the lights.
Amanda
Hold on. A match. A kerosene lamp, a fireplace, and what else?
Shane
A candle and a fireplace. What would you light first?
Amanda
Can't light a match on nothing. You'd obviously light the match so you can light them all.
Shane
The match.
Damian
Oh, that's it.
Shane
Wow.
Amanda
Easy, simple.
Damian
Oh, well, yeah.
Amanda
See, this is like the X marks the spot one.
Damian
Yeah. Cause I was like, simp.
Amanda
Oh, whoa. What did I just say?
Shane
I like this one. If your uncle's sister is not your aunt, what relation is she to you?
Amanda
I don't like this one.
Shane
What?
Damian
Your Mom.
Shane
Yeah. Yeah, man.
Amanda
I didn't give myself a chance to think about that.
Shane
Haha. The answer was your mom.
Damian
Yeah, I actually didn't say that. Right.
Shane
Your mom.
Amanda
So if your cousin has a kid, what are you to the kid?
Damian
That's your dad.
Amanda
That's what bothers me so much. Challenge.
Damian
No, that's your once removed. Right. There's that second cousin I always get.
Amanda
So you say full on once removed. Okay.
Damian
I don't know. I just don't talk to my family. That's helpful.
Amanda
That's awesome.
Damian
Yeah, that helps. Yeah.
Amanda
Nice.
Shane
Does this have challenging riddles? Challenging riddles. And then it goes down to easy riddles.
Amanda
Did you think we were just doing.
Shane
And then viral riddles for adults.
Damian
Whoa.
Amanda
Sick. As a YouTube channel. Guys, we're gonna read some of the most viral YouTube riddles ever.
Shane
Hey, Paul.
Damian
Brothers walk into a room.
Shane
Which is heavier, a ton of bricks or a ton of feathers?
Damian
Bricks. Cause bricks Heavier than feathers. I don't get it.
Amanda
What?
Damian
It's.
Amanda
That's just obvious.
Shane
There's an incredible sketch.
Amanda
Oh, great. Another thing that I love.
Damian
No, I have to show you. It's a sketch from a Scottish comedian. And it's just him, like, having a breakdown about a very basic riddle when people are trying to explain it to him. Oh, he's like, what's heavier? A kilogram of steel or a kilogram of feathers? That's right. It's a kilogram of steel. Cause steel's heavy on feathers. Then everyone's like, trying to explain to him, like, no, they're both a kilogram.
Shane
He's like, oh, it's so good.
Damian
Steel's heavier than feathers. Like, no, it's a kick.
Amanda
That's a really good accent.
Damian
Thank you. It was when I got there, but thank you.
Amanda
Really good.
Shane
How much dirt is in a hole that's 2ft long and 3ft wide?
Damian
None. It's a hole.
Shane
That's right.
Amanda
Huh?
Damian
Talking about hole.
Shane
A hole.
Amanda
Oh, right. That's a hole. I was thinking like a hole that you dig into the ground and there's a bottom to it. But that's not a hole, is it?
Damian
It is a hole, but you take the dirt out of it to make it a hole. And if you put the dirt back in, it's not really a hole anymore.
Amanda
I guess you can't really make a hole in the ground.
Damian
Yep.
Shane
You want to read some?
Damian
Sure.
Shane
I didn't look at the Internet.
Amanda
You want to read some?
Damian
You want to read some too? Because if you read some back. Okay, cool.
Amanda
I'LL go after you. I'll wait to. I'll go to the hard ones. The real hard ones.
Shane
If you get to the end of these, you can move on to a different list.
Amanda
Save the hard ones.
Damian
Okay, this is. I have cities but no houses. I have mountains but no trees. I have water, but no fish. What am I?
Shane
Map.
Damian
Yes.
Amanda
I was totally gonna guess that.
Shane
Map.
Amanda
Dunk. I love maps. I have a huge map in my house. It's awesome. And I point to it and I go, going there. I'm kidding.
Shane
I have it. Can I pitch it? Can I tell you a sketch idea that I. I have that I've had for a while? It has to do with maps. So have you ever heard about people being like, oh, we're gonna throw a dart at a map and we're gonna go. So it's like, okay, honey, like for your. For our anniversary gift, take this dart and I want you to throw it on this map. And we're gonna go to wherever the dart lands. She's like, oh, my gosh.
Damian
Okay.
Shane
And she throws the dart and it perfectly lands. It's like, oh, it's on Los Angeles. Oh, let's get closer. Oh my gosh. That's crazy. It's Derek's house. I guess I have to go to Derek's house.
Amanda
He's like, oh, it's like, oh, yeah.
Shane
I guess we'll both go. She's like, I guess I'll pro go myself.
Amanda
I think I'll just go by myself. And Derek's like, did you throw the dart? And she's like, yeah.
Shane
Cuz when I heard someone do that, they're like, oh, he threw it and it landed on Italy. I was like, that's lucky. I was like, what if it. What if it landed on.
Amanda
What if it land in the middle of the ocean?
Shane
What if it landed in Milwaukee and you just go there?
Damian
Anniversary. It was chobal and we kept throwing more darts and it kept landing on the same dart somehow like Robin Hood splitting it into Chevy. You want to share Noble?
Amanda
That's hilarious.
Damian
This one's. This one's fun. It's also. It shows up in the game the lies of P. Which is just like bloodborne but with Pinocchio.
Amanda
I can't wait to buy it.
Damian
What gets shorter as it gets older?
Shane
A person that.
Damian
See, that's what I said.
Shane
A person does.
Damian
What gets shorter as it gets older?
Shane
A candle.
Damian
That is correct.
Amanda
I didn't even have a second.
Shane
A candle.
Damian
It's because candles have bone loss.
Amanda
Where are you tossing that teacher's just like, okay, from.
Shane
From here on out, for every episode of Smash Mouth, I need to have like 10 basketballs here. And I just throw them.
Amanda
That will make me feel like a mother every time. That will make you be like my.
Shane
Little kid every time. I crush it on this podcast. I need to grab one just.
Amanda
Fine.
Damian
Then you get to have 10 of them.
Amanda
I want glasses of wine.
Damian
There we go. Ten glasses of wine. Now you throw them on and then.
Amanda
I go and I crush the glass with my bare hands. And at the end.
Shane
At the end of every episode of Smosh Mouth, you're just so drunk. And I get traded to the Mavs.
Amanda
Uh huh.
Shane
Yeah.
Damian
In exchan for first round picks six years from now.
Shane
Hell yeah.
Damian
Like, yeah, you got traded to dropout, but they get first round pick for six years from now. It's crazy. A couple of guys, a couple of dudes, Fellas. I like this one. What do you lose the moment you share it?
Shane
Secret.
Damian
Yeah. What secret?
Amanda
That was so chosen. Oh, there it went in. Oh, great.
Damian
Artifact.
Shane
The artifact.
Damian
The amulets. I think I unfortunately got that from the chosen because it's been a thing for me for a while where I'm just like, oh, dude, the amulet. Like, I need the amulet.
Shane
You said the amulet for a long.
Damian
I think I took that. I definitely lifted that from you and I'm proud of it.
Shane
I don't think so.
Damian
I'll take it.
Shane
I. I don't think so. I think you've been mentioning the amulet since I met you.
Amanda
So he stole. So you stole.
Damian
Wait a minute.
Amanda
Borrowed.
Damian
This is actually very important. Did someone look like me? Ask about the amulet. My God, he's escaped. We gotta get Kosovo.
Amanda
Get me a bottle of Cab sob.
Damian
You know what's crazy is I did imagine your space work was so good. I thought it was a glass goblet. When you said crushing with your hands.
Amanda
I had a like. No, I did.
Damian
Oh my God.
Amanda
So then at the end of the episode, I just have glass in my hand, and there's so much glass that.
Damian
We have so many important arteries, so many important nerves. Do you want this now? Yes, you got it.
Amanda
What is taken before you can get it?
Damian
Your order for at a restaurant.
Amanda
Nope.
Shane
Okay. What is taken before you can get it?
Amanda
Although that does actually make sense.
Damian
Yeah.
Shane
What is taken before you can get it?
Amanda
Yeah.
Shane
My freaking virginity, dude. Ew.
Amanda
You get. Huh? But you have your virginity.
Damian
I lost my virginity, so now I'm good enough so that you can get it.
Shane
Okay, okay. Being for real now what is taken.
Amanda
Before you can get it? This is a weird question.
Damian
Test results. I also think order.
Amanda
I feel like this was made like back in the day.
Damian
Wait, Liam Neeson's family?
Amanda
Totally.
Shane
I. I say it's like your food at a restaurant, your order.
Amanda
Now that.
Shane
That felt like.
Damian
Because. Yeah, yeah.
Amanda
What if I was like, oh, my God. Yeah.
Shane
He'S right.
Damian
Yeah. And I agree with Shane.
Amanda
Listen, I agree that that is a good answer, but it's not the one that is written.
Shane
Well, then I give up.
Damian
Email the Riddler.
Amanda
A photo.
Shane
Give me a break. Not with how fast digital stuff is you.
Damian
Live streams. Yeah, Zero latency.
Shane
Read the next one.
Amanda
Okay. What's always I hate you boys.
Damian
It's now worse. It's not about the riddles anymore. It's just that we're messing with.
Shane
It was never about the riddles, you two idiots.
Amanda
Okay, the riddles. What's always on the ground but is never dirty?
Shane
The ground.
Damian
Grass.
Amanda
No.
Shane
Whoa.
Amanda
Is this stumping you guys on the ground?
Damian
A stump, but never dirty.
Amanda
I know. No.
Shane
What is on the ground but dirty?
Damian
Well, can dirt be dirty the same way? Like, is water wet?
Amanda
No answer.
Damian
No, guys.
Amanda
No.
Damian
What is on the ground? My jaw.
Amanda
I. I feel like I'm this woman who's like, you guys are trying to come in this club. And I'm like, okay, but answer this riddle if you're cool. And you guys are like, oh, my j.
Damian
If I can get it, my jaw is on the ground. Cuz your mom's. Your uncle's sister.
Shane
Amanda's like, do you know why I pulled you over?
Amanda
Do you know I pulled you over? Dirt is dirt.
Damian
Dirt my jaw.
Shane
Okay.
Damian
I don't know what's on the ground, but you can. But it's never dirty. Yeah, I guess.
Amanda
And it follows you around. I'm just gonna add that in there.
Damian
Oh, your shadow.
Amanda
Yeah.
Damian
Hedgehog.
Shane
Hedgehog.
Damian
Sonic.
Amanda
Good job, guys.
Damian
Thanks.
Amanda
It's a big hint.
Damian
I. Sometimes I stand near walls as the sun is setting. And that's where my shadow is. And it's real dirty. Cough on it. I. You know Pig pen from Charlie Browner? There's always that, like, cloud. See that? In my shadow.
Amanda
That's you.
Damian
Yeah.
Amanda
Wow.
Damian
Great.
Amanda
Like scary.
Damian
Yeah.
Amanda
Okay. What gets smaller every time it takes a bath?
Damian
The soap.
Amanda
Yeah, that one was sucked, dude.
Shane
Also me.
Damian
Also Shane.
Shane
When I get out of the bathtub, I'm just a little bit littler.
Damian
I knew you gotta stop scrubbing so hard.
Amanda
I knew you were shrinking.
Damian
Knew, like, I really exfoliate the bottom of my feet. Really?
Shane
I'm a Russian nesting doll.
Amanda
I'm gonna move real quick to Reddit.
Shane
Do it.
Damian
Am I the asshole for putting my wife in a saw? Like, situation update.
Amanda
Where can you finish a book without finishing a sentence?
Shane
Where can you finish a typewriter?
Damian
Oh, no.
Amanda
Where can you finish a book without finishing a sentence?
Damian
Oh, jail. Because you can read in jail, but you're not done with your sentence.
Amanda
Yes. That's good. Whoa, that is good. Okay, I'll read one more and pass it on.
Shane
Shoot this.
Damian
I'm sorry, guys. I. Sorry.
Shane
You hear legitimate window break over there.
Damian
I once lost a friend in middle school because I threw a basketball and was so bad at it that it almost hit him. But I started laughing out of nerves, so he thought it was on purpose.
Shane
And so I was like.
Damian
I was just like, no, I didn't mean to. Yeah, you know what? Give me another basketball. This is our fancy. If you lost, we own this.
Shane
Here you go, man.
Damian
Thanks, man.
Amanda
You really have to. You really have to work through these.
Shane
If you lost a friend from that, then he was not your friend.
Amanda
See, I went really dark, and I thought you meant lost a friend like.
Shane
Oh, like the Fray.
Damian
Where can you lose a friend but in a song?
Amanda
Wow.
Damian
We talk about Trevor singing that. That was so sweet. He has such a sweet job.
Amanda
Loved it.
Damian
Love it.
Amanda
He's like, huh?
Damian
Trevor's my hero.
Shane
Loved that.
Amanda
He's so good.
Shane
He's really cool.
Damian
I hope he knows.
Amanda
Okay.
Damian
Yeah.
Amanda
All right. I'll let Trevor know that you guys miss him. Here's another one. A man runs from. Runs away from home. He turns left and keeps running. After some time, he turns left again and keeps running. He later turns left once more and runs back home. Who was the man in the mask? What Exactly? Someone made this up.
Damian
The murderer chasing him. The man in the mask.
Amanda
The man runs away from home. He turns left and keeps running. After some time, he turns left again and keeps running. He later turns.
Damian
Umpire. The umpire. He's in a mask. The catcher.
Amanda
It's actually the catcher.
Damian
Yeah, Mask. Because.
Amanda
But the catcher never really does run the basis, so it's kind of a.
Damian
Because the man runs the bases and the man in the mask is there waiting for him at home base to be, like, safe.
Amanda
Totally. Okay, last one, because I think someone definitely just made this up and is going through something. My girlfriend's favorite is, what do you want for dinner?
Damian
Oh, got it. You know what?
Amanda
What's the answer?
Damian
Well, if this person is going through something, it's going to be something like, I. You know, it doesn't matter. I'm good with anything. But then when I throw something out, it's like, well, we had pizza. Pizza last year. And so I'm like, so I guess it does matter. Is that what it is?
Amanda
That's very specific. Yeah, it's. I don't know. Whatever you want.
Shane
Yeah. Ha ha ha.
Damian
I do actually have a fix for that. Whether it's text or in person, you go like, hey, I'm gonna put out five food genres, and it's your job to eliminate one.
Amanda
I love it.
Damian
So you text, and they'll just be like, all right, here's the four we're keeping. I'm like, here's the three we're keeping. Like, here's the two we're keeping. And I'm like, seafood.
Amanda
Wow.
Damian
So, yeah, that's awesome.
Amanda
It's like a whole game.
Damian
Yeah, it's. You gamify, you take out the stress. I love gamifying things to take out stress. I'm happy to do the thing.
Amanda
You do it gamified, Take out stress.
Shane
You just keep scrolling in the later comments, just like, yeah. What the fuck does my girlfriend want from me? There's a riddle.
Amanda
No, seriously, it's. I don't think that's a riddle. I think that's someone just having a hard time.
Damian
Take me out of a window and I leave a grieving wife, but stick me in a door, and I can save somebody's life. What am I?
Amanda
Angel.
Damian
Wait, I'm gonna. I'll read it one more time. Take me out of a window and I leave a grieving wife, but stick me in a door, and I can save somebody's life. What am I?
Amanda
Spirit. Take me out of a window and.
Shane
I leave a grieving wife.
Damian
Mm. But stick me in a door, and I can save somebody's life. What am I? This is the kind that, like, you can definitely get, but it's so clever that, like, I don't even think you'll be mad if you don't. It'll just be like, I go window.
Amanda
And I leave a grieving wife. Stick me in a door and I save someone's life.
Shane
A knob.
Damian
Not a knob.
Amanda
No. Air. Wind.
Damian
The answer is two numbers. No, I'm kidding.
Shane
I don't. I don't know, man.
Amanda
Because when there's, like, this whole thing that when someone dies, you open the window and let their spirit out. That is. That's not. This.
Damian
That's. That's very clever. And I hadn't Thought of that. That's not. This. This one is a little more lateral.
Amanda
I don't think a spirit coming in the door would help. Oh, okay, okay, okay. Like an opening.
Damian
That's clever. And you're. You're now thinking more lateral. So that's a lock. No, no. Do you want to know the answer?
Shane
Yeah.
Damian
It's strangely, again, the letter N. Take me out of window. I leave a grieving wife, widow. But stick me in a door. I save somebody's life, donor. Oh, it's really clever. But I think without reading it, it's a little hard. Did you guys know that it's.
Shane
Did you guys all know?
Amanda
Yeah, they did.
Shane
Did you all know?
Amanda
They're all shaking their head like, yeah, that's obvious.
Shane
We just didn't want to tell you. Here, I'll take this.
Amanda
That was really good.
Damian
It was good, right? One of the top comments to answer that was a penis.
Amanda
Like, what? Putting a penis through a door does not save anyone's life. In fact, it's a lot to deal with.
Damian
What if there's a hostage situation? Someone's like, someone better show me a penis through a mail slot right now. I'll kill everyone here.
Amanda
And you're like, through a mail slot?
Damian
Yeah.
Amanda
Like, sounds painful.
Damian
Yeah. Hey, it didn't say saving lives are like this. No good deed goes unpunished.
Amanda
Oh, my God. Another wicked reference. And I enjoy you.
Damian
I haven't seen it.
Amanda
Dancing through life.
Damian
Oh, thank you.
Shane
Oh, this one's. This one's simple, but I think it's good. How far can you walk into a forest?
Damian
Until the center and there. And then you're walking out of it.
Amanda
Yeah, because it's like a whole labyrinth.
Shane
I'll give it to you. It's halfway.
Damian
Oh, yeah, halfway because.
Shane
Because you can only walk into a forest halfway, and then you're walking out of the forest. So basically, what.
Amanda
I kind of also said. Thanks.
Damian
You got it.
Shane
Thanks.
Damian
Trevor's up to.
Amanda
I feel like he's probably singing the Fray.
Damian
Also, I saw. I think it cut this if it's not cool. But I think I saw on the announcement for it that he's doing Creator Clash.
Shane
He is doing Creator Clash.
Amanda
That's so cool.
Shane
I know. He's fighting a guy from Corridor Digital, right?
Damian
That's so.
Amanda
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we knew that.
Damian
So stuck for him.
Shane
Yeah, man.
Amanda
Oh, my God. He's fighting. Does he. I know how to fight.
Shane
Well, I think he'll train. I think he'll be training.
Damian
I.
Amanda
So, Trevor, it's singing wild Pray and then training.
Damian
That's. I'm just. We're just gassing up, Trevor this episode.
Shane
I'm gonna move back to the Good Housekeeping.
Damian
Finally.
Shane
They were kind of starting to be repeats of how can you clean up a room?
Damian
A vase of flowers.
Amanda
Good Housekeeping.
Shane
Who has married many women but was never married.
Damian
The priest.
Shane
That's right.
Amanda
I don't know why I don't like that one.
Shane
What? What? Okay, I'm gonna read this one and we'll see.
Amanda
This is so Good Housekeeping. Oh, no.
Shane
Good Housekeeping.
Amanda
I love it. If you guys don't know what Good Housekeeping is, it was like. It was before, like, the Martha Stewart Living. And it was like, in everyone's home for a while or. Not everyone.
Shane
Guys get this one. What does a man do only once in his lifetime, but women do once a year after they get on their Good Housekeeping?
Damian
Is that real?
Shane
No.
Amanda
A man only gets on his knees once for his wife. But women.
Shane
What does a man do only once in his lifetime, but women do once a year after they are 29?
Damian
Probably like a mammogram.
Amanda
Yeah, I don't think men get mammograms once, do they?
Shane
You're never gonna guess this one.
Amanda
It's not. It's. Is it medical?
Damian
No.
Amanda
Okay.
Shane
No. It's dumb as hell. Oh, it is.
Amanda
It is as good.
Shane
It's as Good Housekeeping as it gets.
Damian
Is it like. Like, actually contribute to cleaning the dish? It like. No. Okay.
Shane
No.
Amanda
I would hate that.
Damian
Yeah. I don't know.
Shane
The answer is turn 30. What does a man do only once in his lifetime, but women do once a year after they are 29?
Amanda
I don't get it.
Damian
Because it's like, oh, I'm actually just 30. I'm turning 30. Like, LOL.
Amanda
Wait. This is awesome. It's so cringey. This is so good.
Damian
It's pretty rough.
Amanda
Women reading this magazine, like, back in the day, they're like, oh, my.
Damian
Oh, I'll have to start using that.
Amanda
Ow.
Shane
Diane, you gotta check this out.
Amanda
Diane. She's like, I told you not to call me bitch.
Damian
I heard the best, like, insult the other day about that, where they were, like, showing off the. Not to get political. The White House press secretary who's like. Like only 26. And they kept showing photos of her. And someone was like, in what? Celsius was like, God damn.
Amanda
Like, damn.
Damian
I'm like, that's. That's really funny.
Amanda
These are so funny. Keep going.
Shane
I wish I. That. That one stands alone. I can't find others that are like the cheese. I want to find another one that's up like that.
Amanda
It doesn't matter.
Shane
Okay.
Amanda
Just read them because they're amazing.
Damian
That one.
Shane
What is the longest word in the dictionary?
Damian
Is it just another one where it's longest?
Shane
No, it smiles because there's a mile between each s. Oh, my God.
Amanda
Why do I feel like I've transported back to, like, nostalgic times right now? These are. I feel like we're a bunch of kids who found our mom's magazine. Oh, my God. Highlights.
Damian
Highlights. Highlights was great. There was a very big turning point in my life where the allergist I'd go to, like, once a month. I always used to look at highlights, and then one time they had Shonen Jump, which is like, the compilation of, like, okay, it's Yu Gi. Oh, and Dragon Ball Z and all that. It was like, the comics, and I was like, I think I'll read this one.
Amanda
Yeah.
Damian
Forever change.
Amanda
Transported.
Damian
Yep.
Amanda
Didn't highlights have, like. Didn't they have, like, their own comic books or, like. Oh, yeah, okay, okay, okay. Comic strips.
Damian
Gallant makes his bed on weekends. Goofus sets fire to the neighbor's yard.
Amanda
And you're like, remember that?
Damian
I don't know, guys.
Amanda
Sound off in the comments if you guys also had highlights.
Damian
They had the, like.
Amanda
Was that a subscription?
Damian
Yeah, yeah. Okay. It was Nickelodeon magazine, please. And then.
Amanda
Yep.
Damian
Highlights. Those are. Those are, like, joke riddles, though.
Shane
Yeah. I wanted to find more of the joke riddles.
Amanda
These are so good.
Damian
Then go back to animals from the first.
Shane
Guys. What two keys can't open any door?
Damian
A flat and B minor.
Amanda
What two keys can't open any door. Chastity. Belt key.
Shane
Yeah, this is also wrong.
Damian
Piano keys.
Shane
This is also wrong.
Amanda
Well, whatever.
Shane
Keys can't open any door.
Amanda
Keys to your heart.
Damian
What? Two keys.
Amanda
Keys to your heart.
Damian
Keys. Keys on Van Nuys.
Shane
That's a good one. No. You want to know the answer?
Amanda
Chastity vote. Key.
Shane
A monkey and a donkey. A monkey can totally open a door.
Damian
And a donkey just goes straight.
Amanda
This is perfect. I love these riddles.
Damian
Go back to the. The first one had all the animal ones where it's like, which animal cares the most? It's like this one. Cause it loves you in awesome.
Shane
Oh, my God.
Damian
Like, it's all those.
Amanda
I picture a woman kind of, like Sex and City style, but she's like, like, in, like, a home with, like, crochet everywhere, and she's just like, I'm going to start the riddles For Good Housekeeping. And she's writing all of these and she's dying laughing.
Damian
A bear. Cuz they always want to call you honey.
Amanda
Oh, and her name is like Margaret or Mar. Her friends call her Mark.
Damian
Is that her pen name though?
Amanda
That's her. Oh my God, you're so right. Her real name is Vivian and she's a sex goddess.
Damian
It's like Vivian, sex goddess is too strong. I'll go.
Amanda
Marge, Marge, Marge.
Damian
The housekeeping goddess.
Amanda
The guy comes home rich as her husband.
Damian
Yeah.
Amanda
How's it going, Vivian? Call me Marge. I'm writing.
Shane
I am a bird, a fruit and a person. What am I?
Amanda
Kiwi? You're not. It's a kiwi. Whoa.
Shane
Yeah.
Damian
Kiwi Birds are so cute.
Shane
What kind of fruit must have a large wedding ceremony with a lot of guests?
Damian
Kiwi.
Amanda
Wait. What kind of fruit must have a large wedding ceremony with a lot of guests?
Shane
Yeah.
Amanda
Yeah.
Damian
A grape. Cause they've got a large family tree.
Shane
That's pretty good.
Amanda
That's actually really good. You're way too clever for Good Housekeeping.
Damian
Oh, thank you.
Amanda
Uh huh.
Damian
Yeah. Huh.
Shane
Can't elope.
Amanda
I love it. I love this. What kind of fruit loves to get crazy? Honeydew Coco.
Shane
Now it's in all caps.
Amanda
It's like honeydew. Wait, Coconut.
Damian
A coconut. Bananas, bananas, bananas.
Amanda
Oh my God. This is awesome.
Damian
You can just say that for most fruit. Like that one crazy fucking apple. He'll do it too.
Shane
What fruit never cheers up A sad banana.
Amanda
What fruit?
Damian
A forlorn.
Amanda
What fruit never cheers up.
Damian
A mango. Papaya melan.
Amanda
Oh my God. I. Where am I transporting a blueberry?
Damian
Because it feels so blue.
Amanda
Because it's always blue.
Shane
Blueberry's the answer. Blueberry's the answer.
Damian
Answer. But I love this song from like ship captains. Like you would sail like a blue flag if your captain had passed. So you're feeling.
Amanda
That's so sad.
Damian
I might have made that up.
Amanda
Last time you're on the ocean. Last time you're on the sea, bud.
Damian
Well, actually it was that. That boat trip and I threw up the whole time.
Shane
Oh yeah.
Amanda
You guys went on a boat trip telling each other riddles and you were throwing up.
Damian
I don't remember it. I was throwing up.
Amanda
Oh, bummer.
Damian
The ocean. And I don't.
Shane
Yeah, that sucks.
Amanda
Hey.
Shane
What fruit is never alone?
Damian
Can't elope.
Amanda
Bananas. Because they're attached.
Damian
They're coming a bunch.
Amanda
What fruit is never alone? Is alone a key word?
Shane
What do you mean?
Amanda
Never mind grapes.
Damian
Because there's a bunch of them.
Amanda
Orange. Because it has skin.
Shane
Guys, be real.
Damian
Okay? Sorry. I'm sorry.
Amanda
Be real. Be real. Real.
Damian
I'm sorry. I. Did I. A pear. Because they always come in pairs.
Shane
It's a pair.
Amanda
It's a pair.
Damian
Because that was coming. Pears.
Amanda
I. I don't know who I am anymore. I don't know what this body is. I don't know where I am.
Damian
This is the best day I've had in a month.
Shane
Why did the citrus tree go to the doctor?
Damian
Because it was feeling sick.
Shane
To get lemonade.
Damian
I love it.
Amanda
I love it.
Damian
Because it had Lyme disease.
Amanda
Oh, that's real. And they won't discuss that in Good House.
Damian
And they won't talk about that.
Amanda
That's a different magazine.
Damian
You've got to be careful about that. You've got to be careful around deer ticks.
Shane
What kind of foods are the most fun at parties?
Damian
Oh, I saw this one. I know this one, But I saw this one, so I'm gonna zip it.
Shane
Can you get it, Amanda?
Amanda
What? Most fun.
Shane
What kind of foods are the most fun at parties?
Damian
I'll give you hints. This one's not a fruit.
Amanda
Confetti cake.
Shane
This is just a food riddle.
Amanda
Confetti cake.
Damian
Confetti cake.
Shane
Not confetti cake.
Amanda
Oh, do you want to guess it? Since you don't. Didn't get it right.
Shane
He knows it.
Amanda
Oh, fuck. What kind of food? It's fun at parties. It could be anything.
Shane
It's also a type of just, like, organism. Like.
Damian
Yeah.
Shane
It's a whole brand.
Damian
It's a fruit. It's not a fruit. It's not a vegetable. Some people would say it's a vegetable. It's not a vegetable.
Amanda
Tomato. What? You guys are sick.
Damian
It is in relation to the answer to the room that has no windows or doors.
Amanda
I forgot that one. I blacked that out.
Shane
Fun guy.
Amanda
Oh, can I tell you something? The bar that I worked at for eight years, we had a pizza called the Fungi, and it had mushrooms on it, and I didn't get it.
Damian
And it had black mold in the kitchen.
Amanda
They all. All these women are experiencing black mold right now.
Shane
What is the wealthiest nut?
Damian
I saw this one, too. Sorry. When I was scrolling, I was like.
Amanda
Did you go on this earlier? What is the wealth. Wealthiest nut?
Shane
What's the wealthiest nut?
Amanda
I don't agree with the nuts. Because you married into wealth.
Damian
He nutted. Now you're rich. You're like, well, you're stuck with me. You nutted.
Amanda
Okay. What is the healthiest nut? Chestnut.
Damian
What?
Amanda
What hold on, hold on, Judge.
Damian
I like that.
Amanda
Ah, macadamia nut.
Shane
Why show your work? Explain your answer.
Amanda
Because they're rich flavor.
Damian
I like Chestnut.
Amanda
What is richest nut? What is the richest nut?
Shane
Wealthiest nut.
Amanda
Wealthy.
Shane
Rich also counts for this.
Amanda
Wealthy and rich are totally different.
Damian
I know.
Shane
Rich is quick.
Damian
There's a Chris Rock routine about it. There's a Chris Rock routine about it. He's not talking about rich. He's talking about wealthy.
Amanda
Okay, what's the wealthiest nut?
Shane
Cashew. Cashew. Cash.
Amanda
No.
Damian
And I also.
Amanda
I. I refuse.
Damian
I like Chester. I like Chestnut.
Amanda
Thank you.
Damian
And I also would say Mr. Peanut, because that's generational wealth. He is a brand, but he has a company, and monocles aren't cheap.
Shane
You're right.
Amanda
Good Housekeeping doesn't go there.
Shane
Right? You're definitely right.
Amanda
Wow. I will say the Good House King Housekeeping riddles were my favorites.
Shane
That. The turning 31 was insane.
Amanda
That.
Shane
Yeah, fully.
Amanda
I thought my answer to that was actually better.
Shane
Amanda, when we were talking about this episode, you were like, oh, do I need to come up with riddles? And I was like, sure.
Amanda
Okay. I don't have a riddle, but I do have a joke that I was gonna put on there, and I'm going to tell you right now.
Shane
Give it to us.
Amanda
What did the left butt cheek say to the right butt cheek? You wish. Butt cheeks don't fart.
Damian
I think the answer is supposed to be like, you know, let's. Oh, wait. I actually do know the answer to this one, so I'm not gonna take your joke.
Amanda
No, do it.
Damian
Are you sure?
Shane
Yeah, I hope.
Damian
Like, let's. Please, let's never let some shit come between us.
Amanda
If we stick together, we can stop this shit.
Damian
Okay, yeah, I've heard that one.
Amanda
Pretty sick.
Shane
I got pretty gross.
Damian
I got a clever one I like. Okay, but it's. I would have expected to be on this list. It's the rich need it and the poor have it. What is it, love?
Shane
Nothing.
Damian
Nothing. Wow.
Shane
I'm gutted.
Amanda
Honestly, I'm gutted. We need to end on something sweet.
Shane
I I Banana. I have a joke that I used to say when I was a teenager. That was always a hit.
Damian
Boobies. Boobies. How do you scare a bunch of bees with your chest?
Shane
Called ghost insects.
Damian
Boobies.
Shane
I used to be like, why is six afraid of seven?
Amanda
Because seven, eight, nine.
Shane
And I'd be like, because seven is fucking crazy.
Amanda
Whoa, wait. A surprise in a riddle. And I love that.
Shane
That used to be my go to.
Amanda
And people are like, oh, my God, you're the funniest person saying top.
Shane
Oh, my God. You should do comedy.
Damian
I want, like, a lot more like anti riddles. Like the riddle of the Sphinx, where it's like what walks on four legs in the morning, two legs in the afternoon, and three at night? And like, what is the. The answer is supposed to be a human because, like, it's a baby that crawls in two legs and then it has a cane when it's in the night of its life. But I just want to be like, oh, that one. Like the fucked up monster of the sands. They're like the fucked up monster of the sands. Yeah.
Shane
That one guy.
Damian
That one guy, Tony is very ill, but we like him.
Amanda
I will say riddle started off rough for me, but then it got really fun.
Shane
Oh, yeah.
Amanda
So thanks, guys. That's how it goes for having me over.
Damian
What I like about it too, is you see this a lot on, like, smosh games, especially in, like, deception games. But, like, everyone has different ways of thinking. Some people are more direct. Some people are like sound based. Other people do, like, lateral thinking. So there were ones here where I'm like, I don't get it. That's hard. And you're like, oh, silly joke. And it's like, oh, I didn't think about it.
Shane
Yeah.
Damian
So we're kind of the dream team.
Amanda
I got the silly joke.
Shane
We can handle it.
Amanda
Yeah, Put us together, mystery school. Yeah, we'll go to trivia night.
Shane
Give us your riddles. Comment your riddles and we'll answer them.
Damian
Gimme them.
Shane
Okay.
Amanda
All right. Thanks, Damien.
Damian
Thanks a minute. Oh, yeah. This was so much fun we loved having. Also, I love that we pitched videos that actually could just be us hanging out. So if you ever want to kick.
Amanda
It, let's do it.
Shane
Just hang out. Play Dark Bloodborne.
Damian
I think Liza might be more Amanda's cup of tea.
Shane
Okay.
Amanda
Okay, Pinocchio.
Shane
All right. All right, bye.
Smosh Mouth Episode #82: Solving The Hardest Riddles We Could Find
Release Date: February 24, 2025
Hosts: Shayne Topp (Shayne), Amanda Lehan-Canto (Amanda), and guest Damian Haas
The episode kicks off with Shayne and Amanda welcoming their special guest, Damian Haas, to the show. The trio engages in playful banter, immediately setting a light-hearted and humorous tone for the episode.
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The conversation swiftly transitions to gaming, with Shayne and Damian reminiscing about the fun of watching Amanda and Angela play Resident Evil alongside Spencer.
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Damian expresses his admiration for their gameplay, emphasizing his desire to introduce them to games like Dark Souls and Bloodborne. The discussion highlights the complexity and mystery inherent in these games, suggesting potential future collaborative content.
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Amanda humorously shares her apprehension about becoming overly engrossed in gaming, revealing a playful tension between her enjoyment and self-control.
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Shayne revisits a previous challenge where fans were encouraged to show the podcast to their animals. The hosts delight in sharing various amusing instances where animals like deer, guinea pigs, dogs, cats, and even a magpie were shown Smosh Mouth episodes.
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Amanda expresses her wish to see monkeys engaging with the podcast, adding a whimsical touch to the fan interaction segment.
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The core of the episode revolves around solving a series of riddles sourced from various websites. Shayne introduces the segment, expressing Amanda's self-professed weakness in riddling while Damian showcases his adeptness.
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The hosts navigate through a variety of riddles, starting with simpler ones meant for children and gradually escalating to more challenging puzzles labeled for adults. Amanda humorously laments her struggles with certain riddles, while Damian consistently provides accurate and swift answers, highlighting his sharp problem-solving skills.
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Several memorable moments ensue as the trio encounters tricky riddles that require lateral thinking. For instance, the riddle "How can five plus nine equal two?" stumps Amanda initially, only for Damian to explain the solution relates to time ("five plus nine hours is 2:00pm").
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Amidst the riddling, moments of personal sharing emerge. Both Amanda and Damian open up about their experiences with new medications and the challenges they've faced, adding depth to the episode beyond the comedic elements.
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These revelations create a more intimate atmosphere, allowing listeners to connect with the hosts on a personal level.
Encouraged by their progress, Shayne and Damian push the boundaries by introducing "adult riddles" and viral riddles from popular platforms like Reddit and TikTok. The complexity of these riddles varies, with some requiring creative thinking and others relying on wordplay.
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Noteworthy riddles include questions like "What two keys can't open any door?" and the classic "A man runs from home, turns left thrice, and ends up back home—who was the man in the mask?" Damian expertly navigates these challenges, often providing the correct answers swiftly.
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Throughout the episode, humor remains a constant companion. The hosts engage in comedic exchanges, especially when Amanda humorously resists engaging with number-based riddles or when Shayne pitches absurd sketch ideas inspired by their riddle-solving experience.
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Additionally, playful jokes and puns related to the riddles keep the atmosphere light and entertaining.
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As the riddles become more intricate, the team showcases their diverse thinking styles. Damian's analytical approach complements Shayne's visual thinking and Amanda's penchant for lateral connections, forming a balanced and effective team dynamic.
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This synergy not only aids in solving the riddles but also reinforces the collaborative spirit of the podcast.
As Episode #82 wraps up, the hosts reflect on the fun and challenges of tackling riddles together. They express enthusiasm for future episodes that could include more interactive elements, such as listener-submitted riddles or collaborative gaming sessions.
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Damian also mentions potential video ideas that stemmed from their discussions, indicating a seamless blend between their podcast content and potential video projects.
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The episode closes with a mutual appreciation of their ability to handle riddles and personal anecdotes, leaving listeners eagerly anticipating future episodes filled with similar engaging content.
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This episode of Smosh Mouth encapsulates the essence of the podcast—fun, interactive, and deeply engaging discussions that resonate with both longtime fans and new listeners alike.