#84 - INFO DUMP TIME 💡 w/ Ted Nivison

Summary

Podcast Summary: Smosh Mouth Episode #84 - INFO DUMP TIME 💡 w/ Ted Nivison

Release Date: March 10, 2025
Host/Author: Smosh (Shayne Topp, Amanda Lehan-Canto, and rotating friends)
Guest: Ted Nivison

---

1. Introduction of Guest

The episode kicks off with hosts Shane and Amanda welcoming their guest, Ted Nivison. There’s playful banter about Ted being the first-time guest, creating a lighthearted and engaging atmosphere.

Notable Quote:
Shane [00:32]: “Welcome to Smosh Mouth. I'm Shane.”
Amanda [00:38]: “Hi, I'm Amanda. And we have a wonderful guest with us, our first-time guest, Ted.”

---

2. Online Presence and Content Creation

The conversation delves into the challenges of maintaining an online presence. Ted shares his experiences with content creation, expressing admiration for the structured system Smosh employs.

Key Points:

• Pronunciation and Identity: Ted discusses the frequent mispronunciation of his last name, “Nivison,” and his evolving perception of it.

  Quote:
  Ted [01:28]: “Now it's more like, oh, God, there's so many fools in the world and I'm not one of them.”

• Content Creation Challenges: Ted reveals the difficulties he faces in producing content independently compared to Smosh’s established process.

  Quote:
  Ted [17:54]: “It's definitely a time sink. Like that Twitter video was tough because I was like, okay, I'm going to talk about my opinions here. So now I got to, like, make sure what I'm talking about is, like, correct.”

• Editing and Time Management: The hosts discuss the intricacies of video editing, with Ted highlighting the extensive time required to produce quality content.

  Quote:
  Ted [18:23]: “Yeah, that's a Barbie one. Yeah. Where I watched every Barbie movie ever made. And then I must watch that connected all of them together.”

---

3. Info Dump: Amanda on International Detective Shows

Amanda shares her passion for international detective series, emphasizing their superior storytelling and acting compared to American counterparts.

Key Points:

• Preference for International Shows: She praises shows like "Broadchurch" and "The Killing" for their depth and intensity.

  Quote:
  Amanda [27:06]: “My info dump is more like a hot take. It's just something I'm interested in. I think the viewers kind of know that I'm interested in this, but this is, like, a real thing, so I love true crime, but my hot take is that international detective shows are a million times better than American detective shows.”

• Critique of American Shows: Amanda criticizes the rushed production and superficial elements often found in American detective series.

  Quote:
  Amanda [28:23]: “American shows, they add in all this fluff and, like, fun. Almost like. Like, sterile, quippy words that make me be like, ugh, okay.”

• Cultural Richness: She highlights the cultural and atmospheric richness of international shows, noting their slower pace and stronger character development.

  Quote:
  Amanda [38:13]: “They're slower. You have to be really into, like, crime. Like, you know how I love watching, like, court stuff. You have to be really into, like, the slow process of it. I think that's why I love it.”

---

4. Info Dump: Ted on Halo Lore

Ted takes a deep dive into the extensive lore of the Halo universe, showcasing his comprehensive knowledge and enthusiasm for the series.

Key Points:

• Halo Universe Overview: Ted explains the intricate backstory involving the Precursors, Forerunners, and the Flood.

  Quote:
  Ted [40:23]: “So the Flood is sort of this like hive mind galactic level parasite virus, okay. That is controlled by a larger intelligence called the Gravemind.”

• Character Insights: He discusses key characters like Master Chief and Cortado, exploring their roles and development across the series.

  Quote:
  Ted [42:55]: “Master Chief is a Spartan. Yeah. He's got a question. Do you. Do you like Master Chief, or are you against him, or.”

• Impact of Lore on Gameplay: Ted connects the deep lore to the gaming experience, explaining how the narrative enhances the overall engagement.

  Quote:
  Ted [49:22]: “Yeah. They put them back to hunter-gatherers. And then now foreigners are fighting the Flood and they have to make this. And they don't really know how to fight the Flood.”

• Personal Connection: Ted shares his passion for Halo, illustrating how the series has influenced his creative processes and interests.

  Quote:
  Ted [50:18]: “Yeah. Yeah. And so they started taking Forerunner planets because they're like running from the Flood.”

---

5. Info Dump: Shane on Books and Reading

Shane shifts the focus to literature, discussing his recent reading habits and recommendations, highlighting a blend of fiction and non-fiction.

Key Points:

• Book Recommendations: Shane recommends titles like "Yellowface" by R.F. Kuang and "God of the Woods," praising their intricate plots and compelling narratives.

  Quote:
  Shane [60:07]: “It's an extremely dark comedy in a way, but it is. It is really well written.”

• Audiobooks vs. Traditional Reading: He shares his preference for audiobooks, especially for non-fiction, due to the ease of comprehension and retention.

  Quote:
  Shane [58:07]: “I do audiobooks. I do audiobooks for nonfiction. I prefer audio for nonfiction because then I. If I lose track for a second, it's not the end of the world.”

• Personal Reading Journey: Shane reflects on his transformation from a reluctant reader to an avid book enthusiast, inspired by his experiences and recommendations from friends.

  Quote:
  Shane [57:24]: “I started reading, and then I just, like. I was like, I'm gonna just go in, like, I'm gonna start with, like, a bunch of classics.”

---

6. Conclusion and Promotions

As the episode wraps up, the hosts and Ted engage in friendly teasing and finalize their discussions. They also promote Ted’s new podcast, "Take it Easy," encouraging listeners to check it out.

Key Points:

• Podcast Wrap-Up: The hosts and Ted share humorous moments, highlighting the camaraderie and enjoyable dynamics of the episode.

  Quote:
  Shane [67:38]: “You guys need to talk about that in the. We do.”

• Promotional Segment: Ted promotes his new podcast, providing details on where listeners can find it.

  Quote:
  Ted [67:15]: “I've got a brand new podcast with my best friend Tucker. It's called Take it Easy. You can find us on YouTube as take it easy akeiteasypod or on Instagram Akeiteasy. Just take it easy.”

• Final Thoughts: The episode concludes with light-hearted farewells and a final mention of ongoing promotions for Chumba Casino.

  Quote:
  Amanda [69:12]: “Bye, guys. How to have fun anytime, anywhere. Step one, go to chumbacasino.com chumbacasino.com.”

---

Notable Highlights and Insights

• Ted’s Passion for Gaming and Lore: Ted’s extensive knowledge of the Halo series adds depth to the conversation, offering insights into game lore that both avid fans and newcomers can appreciate.

• Amanda’s Advocacy for Quality Storytelling: Amanda’s preference for international detective shows underscores the importance of storytelling quality and cultural richness in media consumption.

• Shane’s Literary Interests: Shane’s recommendations bridge the gap between fiction and non-fiction, encouraging listeners to explore diverse genres and authors.

• Challenges of Content Creation: The discussion around the differences in content creation processes between individual creators and established teams like Smosh highlights the complexities and dedication required in the digital content landscape.

• Community and Collaboration: The episode exemplifies the supportive and collaborative spirit of the Smosh community, fostering an environment where guests like Ted can share their passions and projects.

---

Conclusion

Episode #84 of Smosh Mouth with Ted Nivison offers a multifaceted discussion, blending gaming lore, media critique, literary exploration, and personal content creation challenges. Through engaging dialogue and insightful exchanges, the hosts and their guest provide valuable perspectives that entertain and inform listeners, making it a must-listen for fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Shane]

No purchase necessary VGW group void where prohibited by law 21 terms and conditions apply. Welcome to Smosh Mouth. I'm Shane.

[Amanda]

Hi, I'm Amanda. And we have a wonderful guest with us, our first time guest, Ted.

[Ted]

Am I the first guest on the.

[Shane]

No, no. First time you've been.

[Amanda]

I. I said it all wrong. You are first. Got me so excited on. Yes.

[Ted]

Okay.

[Shane]

I think call me Chris was the first guest and.

[Ted]

God.

[Amanda]

Wait, really?

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ted]

I gotta say, I was ready to come in. Rocking, rolling bacon biscuits. Wind out of my sails.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

Hey, that's okay. Don't let my mistake.

[Ted]

Sorry, man. Now I'm gonna start to ruin.

[Shane]

Ruin it for you.

[Amanda]

Ruin the intro.

[Shane]

I actually went on your podcast before you ever showed up here.

[Ted]

Oh, yeah, I couldn't tell if that.

[Amanda]

Was like a nice.

[Ted]

I don't know. Yeah, well, no, I actually went on.

[Shane]

I went on twice.

[Ted]

Yeah, there was a tone. It's funny, but the way that you said that was like you were mad that I didn't show up here. But you never asked until now.

[Amanda]

So someone seems upset about something. Fair.

[Shane]

That's fair. That's entirely fair.

[Amanda]

Let's start over. Hey, Ted.

[Ted]

Hey. Hey.

[Amanda]

How do you say your last name? Nivison.

[Ted]

Yeah. Yeah. Some people say Nivision.

[Shane]

I know. Does that bother you?

[Ted]

It used to, but now I'm like, now it's more like, oh, God, there's so many fools in the world and I'm not one of them.

[Amanda]

Nivision makes you totally different. Like a lawyer or something.

[Shane]

I won't lie. Before I met you, when I saw like you were coming in, like, this is years ago, and I saw your name and when you see your name just written out. Yeah, it's hard. Not like an optical illusion because it looks like television.

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Shane]

No, and it also, like, it's also in. So many YouTubers do like a funny thing with their name where it's like, oh, you're watching my channel. And it's like you're watching Ted Division right now.

[Ted]

Like, that's.

[Shane]

I thought that was the vibe.

[Amanda]

And then like my instagram. Filming Amanda that I came up with years and years ago, and I'm stuck with it.

[Ted]

So good.

[Shane]

You probably could change it.

[Ted]

No, no.

[Shane]

Whoa.

[Amanda]

How are people gonna find me?

[Shane]

Oh, yeah, they don't know your name.

[Amanda]

I guess I could just do my full name.

[Ted]

What would you do if you didn't do filming a man?

[Amanda]

Mandapanda55 Objective.

[Ted]

Wow.

[Amanda]

Soccer gal.

[Shane]

Really bad.

[Amanda]

777X.

[Ted]

That is. You know how, like, there's a current online sort of a large upswing of anti millennial rhetoric?

[Shane]

Oh, that's been going on for years.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Ted]

Amanda Panda. That's gonna get you hung.

[Shane]

That is. That is.

[Ted]

That's gonna send you to the guillotine.

[Shane]

That hits the peak of the millennial cringe meter.

[Amanda]

Maybe I should get, like, new merch that says Amanda Panda on it. It's a pan and it's like.

[Ted]

Yeah. And you're in. Your profile picture is from. I Can has cheeseburger.

[Amanda]

What the hell is that?

[Shane]

You don't know I Can has cheeseburger?

[Amanda]

No.

[Ted]

Now I'm the millennial.

[Amanda]

We don't need to do that.

[Shane]

Amanda. Amanda kind of exists. I mean, you are a millennial by the year you were born, but, like, you exist kind of outside of the sphere because you weren't online for. For so much of your life.

[Ted]

Why weren't you online for so much?

[Shane]

I wasn't, like, allowed to go outside talking to trees.

[Amanda]

I wasn't allowed to go. I had, like, very limited time that I was allowed to be online or watch tv.

[Shane]

You didn't know who Harambe was. I mean, it's unbelievable.

[Ted]

I saw the clip.

[Amanda]

I saw the clip that would know who Harambe was. But then again, I watched, like, Nickelodeon a bunch. Well, that's pretty cool stuff. Are you afraid of the dark?

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

Hear me out.

[Ted]

I actually never watched that. Are youe Afraid of the Dark?

[Shane]

Well, yeah. Cause it was onborn.

[Amanda]

No, don't say this.

[Ted]

It's true.

[Amanda]

No, don't. No, don't.

[Ted]

It's true. Yeah, no, you're right.

[Amanda]

No, don't look. I'm wearing a T shirt. You're wearing a T shirt.

[Ted]

I'm wearing a T shirt. We're all wearing different T shirts, guys. We're all part of the Great Groovy family.

[Amanda]

We're wearing T shirts.

[Shane]

You're wearing our merch.

[Ted]

Well, yeah, because I was.

[Shane]

Your shirt was meringue, so we had.

[Ted]

Yeah, no, I was.

[Amanda]

So you were forced to wear our merch.

[Ted]

I was oppressed, much like I am often as I Step into the Smosh studio. Even though I'm getting a one on bitches.

[Shane]

He was playing this dice game.

[Ted]

We love bitches. Courtney introduced me to this dice game last time. Last time I was here. It's just like, you just roll a bunch of dice and you're trying to get the lowest score possible.

[Amanda]

I got one, which is crazy.

[Ted]

And I'm still being asked to change my shirt, change my whole look, or like, Ted, we don't really like how low your voice is. Can you speak a little bit higher? A little bit higher tone? And I'm like, that's strange.

[Shane]

Even though you're the third person to get the Smegot.

[Ted]

And I'm glad that you brought that up, Shane, because if you didn't, I would have.

[Amanda]

Wait, really?

[Ted]

I am a proud recipient. It's like I'm the only one making this.

[Amanda]

Let's bring in the award. We don't have one.

[Ted]

I got a lot of shrugs. I got a lot of shrugs in here.

[Amanda]

Awards in your heart. Awards in your heart. Wait, so that means you've been on Games Pit. I know you've been on Bit City.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ted]

I know you've been on Bit City.

[Amanda]

Was that the first time we worked together?

[Ted]

I think so, yeah.

[Amanda]

When I was the Colonel. That's awesome.

[Shane]

Great sketch.

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Top sketch.

[Ted]

I love this job. There's a whole lot of nothing.

[Amanda]

That's really good. That's really good.

[Ted]

Next, I want to come on Bit City again, and I want to do something crazy.

[Shane]

Okay. Cause you were kind of playing a voice of reason.

[Ted]

I was a voice of reason, which I'm. You know, I'm not.

[Amanda]

You're not.

[Ted]

I'm not a voice of reason. I'm a voice of fan.

[Amanda]

Because you look like you could be, like, a substitute teacher or an awesome dad.

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

You're not a voice of reason. You're. You're wild.

[Ted]

Yeah, Sure, I can cook a steak. Don't get me wrong.

[Shane]

Oh, I hope you've got a mustache. You have.

[Amanda]

If I come over, you're cooking a steak on a grill that you're going.

[Ted]

To talk about for 45 minutes with fucking truffle salt.

[Shane]

There you go. Pretty solid.

[Amanda]

Wow.

[Shane]

Yeah. No, but congrats.

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

Yeah. We'll have you back on Bit City.

[Ted]

For those of you who don't know, because some people won't know. Smigot's, like, one of the greatest things you can get. It's actually better than an egotist. Yeah. Which is a. Which is an Emmy. Grammy, Oscar, Tony. This is, like that. But just Smosh.

[Amanda]

Because I've been on Life Achievement all.

[Ted]

The channels of Smosh.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ted]

Which is cool. And we kind of fast tracked it toward the end. Like I'd only been on Try not to laugh. And then because of my own scheduling issues and ability to wake up in the morning, I ended up on Smosh game.

[Shane]

That is true.

[Ted]

And I almost messed it up this time because I had set my alarm and I woke up an hour later with the alarm going off. It shifted out of sound mode into buzz mode.

[Amanda]

What are you doing late at night? I don't want.

[Ted]

So I'll tell you what happened to me late at night. I got. My problem is I'll go through a big period of working a lot and I'll be like, working, working. And then I'll get out of it. And then I'll get sick. I got a sinus infection and then I got a fever four days later. And then I got like a three day tummy ache.

[Amanda]

Three day tummy ache.

[Ted]

I don't even know what.

[Amanda]

I'm sorry. It sounds like it was.

[Shane]

You just had a tummy ache.

[Amanda]

Three day tummy ache.

[Ted]

I don't even know what it was. But I really got into this video game, Wukong. You know Wukong?

[Amanda]

Yeah, of course.

[Ted]

Yeah. Black Myth. Wukong.

[Amanda]

So good.

[Shane]

People love it.

[Amanda]

So good.

[Ted]

PS5.

[Amanda]

PS5.

[Ted]

And I have a problem when I get into a game or a show. And I'm so glad that they're doing the weekly stuff with Severance.

[Amanda]

I love. Oh, no, I'm not watching Severance. Cause I don't have Apple tv. I know.

[Ted]

I've already been talking about you. Like the weekly thing though.

[Amanda]

Yeah, I love the weekly thing.

[Ted]

It's so good because it keeps me honest. It keeps me contained.

[Shane]

You have an hour that you escape.

[Ted]

I finished this game which has like 95 bosses that you have to kill in like five days. Oh, so you really.

[Shane]

You really go.

[Ted]

No, like, I was like rotting.

[Shane]

I was like, I can't do that.

[Amanda]

So you work.

[Ted]

I couldn't. It almost. I started getting. I wasn't sure even if it was an ADHD thing. I started to feel. It started to feel like almost like an OCD thing or something where I was like. I could not pull myself away from this game until I had finished it so I could be free of it.

[Shane]

I understand that.

[Amanda]

This is why I don't play games. I played games a little bit when I was younger.

[Ted]

Well, let me ask you a question though. What would you rather have? Unlimited bacon? But no more video games or games. Unlimited games, but no games.

[Amanda]

Did you say bacon?

[Ted]

Yeah. You should know this, you're a millennial.

[Amanda]

Wait a second, wait a second. The bacon part didn't come in the second part of the question. So what?

[Ted]

I feel like I was being.

[Shane]

I think you were pretty straightforward.

[Ted]

I feel like I was being cut and dry. Do you want me to ask the question?

[Amanda]

Yeah, please.

[Ted]

Okay, so would you rather have unlimited bacon but no more video games or games? Unlimited games but no games.

[Amanda]

This feels like a trick question. I don't really care for bacon. So the second one. Really?

[Shane]

The second one.

[Ted]

Okay.

[Amanda]

Yeah. So I want games unlimited but no games, but no games. Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what I want.

[Shane]

I think.

[Ted]

Pretty great.

[Shane]

Yeah, that's pretty awesome.

[Amanda]

What do you want?

[Ted]

Oh, you always pick the bacon.

[Amanda]

Why?

[Ted]

You always pick the bacon.

[Amanda]

Why?

[Shane]

So you mean the second option? Because then you get bacon. Because the first option is no bacon.

[Amanda]

Yeah, there's no bacon even in the second option.

[Ted]

The first option.

[Shane]

Unlimited bacon.

[Ted]

Yeah. Unlimited bacon but no games. You always pick the bacon.

[Amanda]

Are you Gen Z?

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

This is what happens.

[Shane]

This is what happens.

[Ted]

This is what. Can you clarify what you mean?

[Amanda]

Am I going to be trapped in this acid trip roller coaster that I'm in currently that has to do with.

[Shane]

Bacon because he got served too many ads too early on in the development and it just kind of.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Shane]

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[Amanda]

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[Shane]

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[Amanda]

Yeah. It's really hard to find doctors within your insurance, but Zocdoc makes it so easy. And if I needed a doctor, I would definitely use Zocdoc.

[Shane]

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[Amanda]

Back to the show.

[Shane]

Back to the show.

[Ted]

Well, I just had to ask you.

[Amanda]

I think it's great.

[Shane]

Just a question.

[Amanda]

And now you know, I don't really like Pumpkin.

[Ted]

Good point.

[Amanda]

No, he's a millennial too. He's a millennial.

[Ted]

Just a question. Yeah, let me position myself so it's.

[Amanda]

No, now you're not on camera.

[Ted]

I'm off my mark now.

[Amanda]

Now he's just with Shane and Shane shot. That would be cute.

[Ted]

Hey. God, I have terrible, long time podcaster. Terrible podcast etiquette with the microphone. Yeah.

[Shane]

There's different podcast vibes because there's the vibe where it's like on a couch. It's like very like more in the wide kind of hanging out. And then we're like a little bit more of a back and forth.

[Amanda]

We're more like business.

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Shane]

We kind of have the same aesthetic of like those really toxic podcasts. You get the clips of where.

[Ted]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane]

Where it's like the dude being like, so is it true that, like, women have rights to do this and they, like, cut to, like, someone else be like, what are you even talking about? It cuts back to be like, I don't agree.

[Ted]

Yeah. And it's. And it's the. It's the two shot thing too, so you can't really tell if it was an actual podcast that was recorded. Like, it's. I think most are fake.

[Shane]

I think.

[Ted]

Yeah. Sometimes I think they just get in a setup and they're like, we're gonna record our TikTok clips.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ted]

And not. We're not gonna make a podcast. Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

But then I don't, like, almost too.

[Ted]

Upset that these clips aren't real.

[Amanda]

I am upset. It's like when I learned that the airplane fights aren't real.

[Shane]

Most stuff that you see. Plane fights, both of those. Most stuff that you see online is rage bait.

[Amanda]

Whoa.

[Ted]

Do you not know about airplane fights?

[Shane]

Like, like, no fights on an airplane.

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Shane]

A lot of mistakes.

[Amanda]

Thank you.

[Ted]

Like the dog fights that happened in World War II?

[Shane]

No, no, no, no, no. Like, people arguing on a commercial flight.

[Ted]

Oh, I thought you were like, we.

[Amanda]

Gotta take her out.

[Ted]

I see.

[Shane]

We're here to say that World War I and World War II never happened, so.

[Ted]

No. Yeah. That's kind of where I was thinking. I was like, are you guys, like, saying that World War II dogfights specifically didn't.

[Shane]

Yeah, we don't believe in planes.

[Ted]

Like, all of World War II. Fully real, the dog fights.

[Shane]

But the planes. The planes never fought. They agreed.

[Amanda]

That's so wild that your brain would go there. Ted.

[Ted]

I just kind of. You strike me as a conspiracy theorist.

[Shane]

Damn, dude.

[Amanda]

I mean, sometimes it seemed like the.

[Ted]

Funniest thing to say.

[Shane]

It's funny.

[Amanda]

No. Sometimes I think the problem is for.

[Shane]

Sure it was real.

[Amanda]

Sometimes I go down, like, full, like, crime investigation shit, and I realized it was all a conspiracy theory.

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

Made up by, like, a web sleuth. So it kind of.

[Ted]

It's funny how on the Internet, if you were on the Internet, you used to know a lot of information, but now being so on the Internet means you know the least amount of information anyone's ever known.

[Shane]

It's just so easy to lie.

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Like, you could. I could pull up TikTok right now and be like, do you know that broccoli is actually bad for you? And then I check, like, five hours later, and there'd be a bunch of people believing that.

[Ted]

Yeah, I read it.

[Amanda]

If I stay off the Internet.

[Shane]

Yeah. You got a text.

[Ted]

I don't know what that was.

[Shane]

That's your morning alarm.

[Ted]

I'll tell you what that was. I'll tell you what that was. That was Cap Cut giving me a notification Cap Cut. Which I downloaded one time to see what a template would look like on TikTok. Never have they charged Cap Cut.

[Amanda]

They charge, don't they? I'm pretty sure that they do.

[Shane]

I think they have a free.

[Amanda]

Because I also downloaded Cap Cut, and I was like, it's just easier to do it. Not through Cap Cut.

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Shane]

So before we move on the. I. We didn't say, like, what we're talking about this episode.

[Amanda]

Oh.

[Shane]

But we're. We're kind of. We. We thought we'd bring you on Ted and we would all do a little info dump. We'd all talk about things that we don't. This was a suggestion I saw in our comments a while ago. I need to. We'll see if we can find that comment. But I like the idea. An Excuse to just rant about something. Yeah, it's very fun. But before we continue, also, I was gonna say, speaking of, like, staying up late and working, I. I have a newfound appreciation for, like, what you do.

[Ted]

Right. Because you started your YouTube channel.

[Shane]

I finally made some individual videos and, like, the editing process is absolutely insane.

[Ted]

You want to hear something funny when you launch the channel and then release the. That next video in the speed that you did? I haven't watched the new video, but I was like, damn, how do you get that out so fast?

[Shane]

How to fucking do well? Well, I feel like because I. I made that, I edited it and then I was like, okay. And then I watched your recent one. As of right now.

[Ted]

My. My Twitter one? Yeah.

[Shane]

And like, the editing is just so much better, obviously. Like, I'm. And you're putting in so much more assets. You're. You're throwing.

[Ted]

What do you edit on a premiere?

[Shane]

I'm a dance guy.

[Ted]

Da Vinci. See, it's. It's. It's like choosing a language, like the language you learn in, like, high school or something early on, you know, it's just like, you kind of stick with it and then like, you might not even like Spanish after four years or whatever, but you chose Spanish at the beginning and, you know.

[Shane]

Fun little behind the scenes. Peak Smosh uses premieres. So really, that's where people. But I did DaVinci.

[Ted]

I would have thought with all the call sheets and stuff, you guys would have been using Avid.

[Shane]

My God, we're fancy. But no premiere.

[Amanda]

Look at you.

[Shane]

But it's very impressive.

[Amanda]

Good character.

[Shane]

But your stuff is really.

[Ted]

Yeah. So contextually, should we. I shouldn't even say it. I shouldn't. No, we should keep it a secret.

[Amanda]

Secret between us.

[Ted]

Yeah. Now you guys know that there's a secret and you guys don't get to know.

[Amanda]

Oh, and maybe we'll reveal it. No, we won't.

[Ted]

We won't.

[Shane]

But your stuff is. You do some high lift stuff.

[Ted]

Thanks.

[Shane]

Like, look at that.

[Amanda]

You.

[Shane]

You and. And the whole crew of you guys, like, Eddie and. I mean, there's just a bunch, like, the video essayists. Like, I'm very impressed with what you guys do. I simply don't have the time.

[Ted]

Yeah, it's definitely a time sink. Like that. That Twitter video was tough because I was like, okay, I'm going to talk about my opinions here. So now I got to, like, make sure what I'm talking about is, like, correct. And so I have to do, like, research. And then, like, it's like, you Know, that took me like a whole week just to do kind of like, figure out, like, the research and like the writing of it all. And then I've actually been. It's funny because I don't have like a structured sort of situation like you guys. You guys have are given here. You're coming in this amount.

[Shane]

We've got a system. Yeah.

[Ted]

I'm so jealous of the system. So I've been trying recently to like, claw at ways that I can have a system. So I now have an app that I track my own hours to see how long I work.

[Amanda]

Is it called Harvest?

[Ted]

No.

[Amanda]

Okay.

[Ted]

No.

[Amanda]

Okay. All right.

[Shane]

But I.

[Ted]

But that's called Shift flow.

[Amanda]

Oh, that sounds cooler.

[Shane]

Yeah, but that's got to be tough because you do just operate on your own.

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Shane]

You are in charge of when you want to release a video.

[Ted]

Well, exactly. And I. And I have for years. I would have no idea how long it would take me to finish a video because each time, like, the video would be kind of like, different. And then they'd be like, when are you gonna have this video for the sponsor? And I'll be like, that's a great question. That's a great question. But now I know, at least with like a commentary video like that, that's about 20 to 30 minutes long. Takes me about little. Little bit more than 30 hours to edit.

[Amanda]

30 hours to edit.

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Shane]

That's actually impressive cuz like.

[Amanda]

And your videos are over two hours. No, over an hour.

[Shane]

No, like a half hour to an hour.

[Ted]

I won video that's an hour and 48 minutes long. But that took me like two months to make.

[Amanda]

Holy shit. Well, 30 hours. 30 hours for 30 minutes.

[Ted]

That's a Barbie one. Yeah. Where I watched every Barbie movie ever made. And then I must. I must watch that connected all of them together.

[Shane]

You need to watch the legendary one, which is the.

[Ted]

The Rainforest and the Margaritaville.

[Shane]

He and Eddie Burbach went to every single Rainforest Cafe.

[Ted]

Mm.

[Amanda]

Why?

[Shane]

That's a great question.

[Ted]

Why did you do that?

[Amanda]

Why did you do that?

[Ted]

Well, it was. It was. Cause when I was a kid, I went to the Rainforest Cafe. There was a mall in Massachusetts that they had a Rainforest Cafe that I'd done some.

[Amanda]

Where are you from?

[Ted]

I'm from Acton, Massachusetts.

[Amanda]

I'm from Easton, Mass.

[Ted]

Wow.

[Amanda]

Wow.

[Shane]

Acton and Easton. Great enemies.

[Amanda]

Here's the thing. I kind of know where Acton is.

[Ted]

Yeah. I kind of.

[Amanda]

What's next to it?

[Ted]

Concord and Maynard and Carlisle and Westford.

[Amanda]

You're a little bit far from me.

[Ted]

I'M like in Middlesex, Connecticut.

[Amanda]

I'm like Mansfield Foxborough.

[Ted]

Okay, I know Mansfield. I know Mansfield.

[Amanda]

Really?

[Ted]

We're keep doing this.

[Shane]

How do you guys feel about Arizona? I know Worcester.

[Ted]

You know Worcester?

[Amanda]

Of course I know Gloucester. Worcester.

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

I went to school at UMass.

[Ted]

Okay. You ever go to the Cape?

[Amanda]

My mom lives in the Cape.

[Ted]

Oh, she does?

[Amanda]

Should I not say that?

[Ted]

You can say that.

[Amanda]

Fuck it.

[Ted]

The Cape is a large area.

[Amanda]

Yeah, she lives in the Cape. I used to live on Martha's Vineyard.

[Ted]

What? Really?

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Ted]

My family would go on vacations in Martha's Vineyard and like.

[Amanda]

What?

[Ted]

Yeah, we would go to a vacation's Martha's Vineyard. And I was actually. I was in Martha's Vineyard last summer. We were in.

[Amanda]

So was I.

[Ted]

Really? When? In July.

[Amanda]

For like a day? No, August.

[Ted]

Oh, I was in July. I spent a week in like, Oak Bluffs.

[Amanda]

That's where I lived for eight months.

[Ted]

Really?

[Amanda]

I rode my bike and I worked at chowder company. But I. I don't.

[Shane]

Of course you worked at a chowder forever ago.

[Amanda]

That was 13 years ago. Yeah. He's such a bastard.

[Shane]

Chowder company and Dunkin Donuts in Boston.

[Amanda]

We don't like.

[Shane]

Are those the only two places of business?

[Amanda]

Here's the deal.

[Ted]

Okay.

[Amanda]

I do this because I have to with Shane. I don't enjoy.

[Ted]

Was just funny. It was funny. I was like. We were flowing and he was like, of course we're gonna fucking shout her at everybody. Of course you were gonna shout out.

[Amanda]

She doesn't like being left out.

[Ted]

Where are you from? Arizona. Okay, so I'll tell you one thing. Like, do you ever have, like, one of my dreams of, like, the high tier dreams of like, where I of like, here's what I'm gonna do if I'm mega rich.

[Amanda]

Yep.

[Ted]

Be house. I get a house.

[Amanda]

Get a house on Martha's Vineyard.

[Ted]

Yeah, I thought about it.

[Shane]

Oh, you gotta be. You gotta be.

[Amanda]

I will say I would want to also maybe get a house like, near Woods Hole. Because then you can take a ferry over Martha's Vineyard and it's a. I don't know if it's cheaper, but it might be a little cheaper because Martha's Vineyards is very cheap.

[Ted]

I just feel like the whole Cape and Martha's Vineyard and everything. But. And you know what? I'll say another thing. Not fucking Nantucket, though. No, Fuck Nantucket.

[Amanda]

Although I will say if you. If you put on a little vineyard vines.

[Ted]

Honey, that used to be my stop. That used to be my. Ironically, by the way. Because what? Because it's from Martha's Vineyard. Vineyard Vine.

[Amanda]

I know, I know.

[Ted]

I used to be a Vineyard Vines guy and growing up in Massachusetts. Where are you from?

[Amanda]

Arizona.

[Shane]

I was born in growing up.

[Ted]

Okay, we have to stop this. We have to stop this.

[Amanda]

We have to stop.

[Shane]

I like how we haven't gotten to the info dump, but you guys just are. Info dump something nice.

[Amanda]

We'll do this on our own time. But I did. How did I not know this? Because honestly, that's true. But now seeing you in Vineyard Vines. Yeah, I know.

[Ted]

Now this is starting to hurt.

[Amanda]

No, hey, no, I don't.

[Ted]

I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. The salmon above the knee shorts, then sperries.

[Amanda]

Yep.

[Ted]

No socks.

[Amanda]

Oh, yeah.

[Ted]

Of course. No liner sock that hides either.

[Amanda]

So you can take them off, stinking.

[Ted]

It up in them. And then the salmon.

[Amanda]

But then like button down, like bright pink.

[Ted]

Yeah. Neapolitan colored naval collared shirt. And this hair, some of them shark beads.

[Amanda]

This look. Mustache and everything. You think I'm dissing you? I'm not.

[Ted]

Well, I was changing my whole look and then you were like, you don't need to change a single thing you got. You just stay the way you are and then you're perfect for this completely different, different type of person.

[Amanda]

Oh. Anyways, well, we'll do lunch.

[Ted]

So. So where are you from now? You're not the favorite anymore.

[Amanda]

Damn it. This sucks.

[Ted]

So where are you from? This is real now.

[Shane]

Oh, this is real now. Born in Florida, then Virginia, then Arizona.

[Ted]

Whoa.

[Shane]

Military family.

[Ted]

Wow.

[Amanda]

So military brat.

[Shane]

Military brat. Moving around. My dad was in the Air force. Flying around.

[Ted]

Oh, wait, I know this.

[Shane]

Yeah. Yeah. You know this stuff.

[Ted]

Yeah, I was like. I was like. I've definitely heard him talk about this before.

[Shane]

Ye. Anyways, crazy.

[Amanda]

Editing is crazy.

[Shane]

But I understand the like. Because when I get into it, you can lose track of time.

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And I'd be like, oh, my whole day is gone suddenly.

[Ted]

Yeah. Oh, doing like editing. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of times I feel like I. Sometimes, especially if there's a sponsor due date, I'm like running and I'm trying to like finish it. But like, there's a certain. Once you get more into it, it turns into this thing where there's a certain level of quality you'll reach with a certain video. And then that becomes the standard. And then.

[Shane]

See, I'm trying to. I need to set the bar really low.

[Ted]

And you have.

[Shane]

And I think. And you're doing it, but I don't Think any of my viewers are expecting anything.

[Ted]

Right.

[Shane]

Cause, like, this is what I do. This is my job. So this is just a fun little thing.

[Amanda]

It's more for fun.

[Ted]

I saw that both you and Courtney have started this.

[Shane]

Courtney's been uploading videos for a long time.

[Ted]

Oh, really? Oh, yeah. I feel like I. Okay. In that case, then I just saw you both post a video around the same time.

[Shane]

Totally.

[Ted]

Yeah. Is. But for you in particular, like, just. You just. Were you just looking for some extra cash?

[Shane]

No, I've always wanted to. I've always wanted to do it for fun. I think it's always been a big point of insecurity that I had never done the process on my own. So I. Wow, that's.

[Ted]

That's an interesting.

[Amanda]

It's like a creative push.

[Ted]

That's an interesting complex that I've never considered that one could have. But I get it. Like, I would definitely feel like that if I was in your business. I would feel really bad.

[Shane]

Yeah, I did. No, because, like, when I first joined. When I first joined Smosh Defy, like, set up a YouTube channel for me.

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Shane]

They're like, here's your YouTube channel. And so, like, makes.

[Ted]

Oh, really?

[Shane]

And I was just, like, so thrown in.

[Amanda]

Oh, so you've had it since then?

[Shane]

Had it for. The channel has been there for 10 years.

[Ted]

Okay. To be fair, you guys are really busy.

[Amanda]

Yeah, we are really busy. But I will say it's so nice to start something and edit it on your own. Like, I loved doing that before I got really busy.

[Shane]

I really just wanted to do. So fun. And so I finally. I just was procrastinating. I was getting in my head, and then I was like, I just need to just do it. And so I'm.

[Ted]

And the thing is too, I think that if definitely opening up without any sort of, like, high expectations of the quality of it will definitely. It'll free you a little bit. Like, I have. I've got, like, three videos that are getting ready to come out on this second channel that I've had that I haven't used in, like, four years. And I'm like, trying to post more on there of just, like, kind of Garbo videos. My perception of Garbo videos because, like, my main channel is just, like, it is a creative outlet, obviously, but it's also the chains that bind me because I place so many restrictions on myself on what is allowed or what is valuable enough to be a video.

[Shane]

Totally.

[Ted]

That it's. It's. It's tough. And so, like, if You. If you allow, like, smosh to be like, this is where my. My. My magic. Magic happens. And then you can just be like, hey, I'm just around on here that I think that'll take.

[Shane]

Oh, yeah. I mean, my mind's. My mindset now is like, I didn't use it for 10 years, so who cares what I put on it?

[Ted]

Yeah, sure.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Shane]

So anyways, let's get to some info dump.

[Amanda]

Let's get to some dumb.

[Shane]

Wants to start. Who wants to talk about shit?

[Ted]

Me.

[Shane]

I could start. You could start. Amanda.

[Ted]

I definitely need to. I want to see something.

[Shane]

Want to see someone else?

[Ted]

I want to see someone.

[Amanda]

Here's the thing. My info dump doesn't have all these, like, crazy facts.

[Ted]

I don't know if I.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Ted]

I, like, don't. My info dump, I had to, like, kind of update myself on because it's an info dump that I learned about when I was, like, five years ago, so I don't know how long I could tell.

[Shane]

That's. Okay.

[Amanda]

My info dump is more. Okay, I'll go. My info dump is more like a hot take.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Ted]

Okay.

[Amanda]

It's just something I'm interested in. I think the viewers kind of know that I'm interested in this, but this is, like, a real thing, so. I love true crime, but my hot take is that international detective shows are a million times better than American detective shows.

[Shane]

Okay, Sherlock.

[Amanda]

Sherlock's good. I'm talking, like, Broadchurch, Norway. Like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The country where they have, like, Norwegian.

[Shane]

They have, like, one crime a year. So, like, when it happens.

[Amanda]

No, they actually have, like, some really weird crimes, and they'll do. And you know how Netflix is very international. They'll do, like, all these amazing series, and they're just so much better than American ones.

[Ted]

What type of crimes are we talking?

[Shane]

Murder.

[Amanda]

Well, one of my favorite shows ever on hbo, which was like, I feel like Americans would be like, this is going. This is why I like it because they're slower. They're more intense about the acting. They feel like they grabbed, like, the best stage actors and they did a detective show. Whereas I feel like American shows, they add in all this fluff and, like, fun. Almost like. Like, sterile, quippy words that make me be like, ugh, okay. And it's, like, rushing. Whereas I feel like Norwegian kind of international detective shows are slower. There's one called the Investigation on hbo.

[Ted]

Are these documentaries or are these.

[Amanda]

They're.

[Shane]

They're fiction.

[Amanda]

A lot of them are real stories that they put into detective shows.

[Ted]

Oh. So, like, nci. So this is, like, equivalent to, like, ncis. I wasn't sure if this was like.

[Shane]

Oh, because those are episodic.

[Amanda]

No, not ncis. That's procedural.

[Ted]

I'm so sorry.

[Amanda]

I can't believe you, Ted.

[Ted]

I'm so sorry.

[Amanda]

So disrespectful.

[Ted]

And you know what? This is your thing. And I'm sorry that I came to you. Just assuming.

[Amanda]

No, it's okay. You can ask questions. Just don't be dumb about it.

[Ted]

Yeah, no, I told myself, and I told myself last time. Last time I was here, you were like. We were doing the scene on Bit City, and you were. And I tried to do a thing, and you were like, stomp. And I was like, I'm sorry.

[Amanda]

I think I actually did do that.

[Ted]

And it was like, what was this?

[Amanda]

No, I was in.

[Ted]

No, she, like. And she put the script in my hand.

[Shane]

Wow.

[Ted]

And she was like, read it as it's written.

[Amanda]

I did it.

[Ted]

Tommy worked really hard on this. Tommy worked really hard on this. Say his name. And I'm like, tommy.

[Shane]

No.

[Amanda]

And she's like, yeah, that's right, Ted.

[Ted]

Okay, so I'm sorry that I came to you.

[Amanda]

I got too comfortable, Ted. It was our first time filming together. I was dressed as the Colonel.

[Shane]

You were also in character.

[Amanda]

Colonel. And I got too comfortable with him, so I was just like, nah. What did I say? I was like, look at your script.

[Shane]

That's insane.

[Ted]

Oh, I don't know what you're talking about.

[Amanda]

I said something like, I'll get your script or something like that.

[Ted]

Oh, no. When I didn't know the lines and. Yeah, you know the part when I didn't know the lines.

[Amanda]

Why are we going?

[Ted]

Are you talking about the part when I didn't know the lines? And you were like, look at your fucking script. That's where the solution is, is in the script.

[Amanda]

Dad gave me a look of like, oh, look in those scripts. And I was like, oh, shit.

[Ted]

I don't.

[Amanda]

I got.

[Ted]

Honestly, I don't remember this. And so I hope I can really like speaking. Seriously, I think I don't know what you're talking about when it comes to that.

[Amanda]

No, it's okay. I brought it home and mulled over it for hours, and then I moved on.

[Ted]

You know what I mulled over?

[Amanda]

What?

[Ted]

The fact that I've sent you four contiguous messages on Instagram of separate content, and you haven't responded to any of that.

[Amanda]

Here's the thing, and I know that you.

[Ted]

First thing you said, I sent you a meme. That's how.

[Amanda]

Don't. Here's the thing.

[Ted]

I don't even know if it's good.

[Amanda]

That's the first thing he said to me. And I. I do not read my messages on Instagram. I'm bad. They overwhelm me.

[Ted]

But yeah, yeah, this one. This one's good.

[Amanda]

Let me see.

[Ted]

This one's good.

[Amanda]

You're gonna show Shane first how to have fun anytime, anywhere. Step one, go to chumbacasino.com chumbacasino.com Got it. Step two, collect your welcome bonus.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Come to papa. Welcome bonus.

[Amanda]

Step three, play hundreds of casino style games for free.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's a lot of games, all for free.

[Amanda]

Step four, unleash your excitement. Chumba Casino has been delivering thrills for over a decade. So claim your free welcome bonus now and live the chumba life. Visit chumbacasino.com no purchase necessary.

[Shane]

VGW Group void where prohibited by law. 21/ Terms and conditions apply. That's pretty good. Specifically good for Amanda. Yeah, that's how I feel every day.

[Amanda]

I hate you.

[Ted]

It's. It's a. It's like a. It's like a photo of. It's like this Greco Roman or like Renaissance photo of this like. Like play doh. Looking off into the distance. And it says how it feels to explain a meme that requires years of being chronically online for it to be funny.

[Amanda]

That's actually brilliant. And I never saw it or laughed at it.

[Shane]

That sucks.

[Ted]

Yeah, you never saw it. You never laughed at it. You didn't even chuckle because you didn't even know.

[Amanda]

But here's the thing. Isn't that better?

[Ted]

No.

[Amanda]

Imagine if I read it all and didn't respond. Imagine if I read it all and didn't respond.

[Ted]

Ooh, that would have been rough. Yeah. No, that would. I would have.

[Amanda]

No, don't, Ted.

[Ted]

No, I would have. I would have. I would have never gotten my. Because I would have myself.

[Amanda]

No, don't.

[Ted]

The news would have said, ted shot with gun because of Manda Panda. Because of Manda Panda. Oh, you're gonna add numbers in there. Your ideal username has numbers in it.

[Amanda]

That's my favorite.

[Shane]

The headline in big letters would have been Ermit Gerd. And then it would have been that.

[Ted]

Yeah. Yeah. And it would have been a cat. It would have been a cat going.

[Amanda]

We have a lot to work through, you and I. Yeah.

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

So anyways.

[Shane]

So True Detective.

[Amanda]

No, it's more like. It's not True detective. It's more like True detective. Right. But some of them are based on true series.

[Shane]

And yeah, ncis, they gotta really draw it out. So you have like five episodes where it's raining and they're just like looking at each other dramatically.

[Amanda]

And that's the best part is that you never get to see like Norway landscape and American Detective things. So it's always cold. They're wearing gorgeous big sweaters and it's chilly. And the acting is so good and it's just real.

[Ted]

What are the crazy crimes?

[Amanda]

Well, the one that I watched, the investigation was about a real crime. It was really actually very messed up. It was about a submarine.

[Shane]

What?

[Amanda]

Yeah, it was back in the day. Not back in the day, years ago. No. Nor Norway.

[Ted]

No, I just kind of assumed that it would be Russian.

[Amanda]

I don't know whether they had a Russian. No, it's not a Russian. This isn't the Rock. Isn't that the rock?

[Ted]

Russia.

[Amanda]

Anyways, so. No, this one is about a journalist, a female journalist who went on this billionaire submarine and was never seen again.

[Ted]

Whoa.

[Amanda]

Story.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Amanda]

And so the investigation is about the slow moving process of the investigation of finding her.

[Shane]

I didn't realize people could just own a submarine.

[Amanda]

If you're a rich billionaire.

[Shane]

I guess if you're a billionaire you can kind of do whatever you want.

[Amanda]

Yeah, Very sad, very upsetting. But. Oh, sorry. But it is very sad. But the acting and the way they did it is so good. And then there are other ones that are not true stories. There are other ones that are like actual, like, like the Killing. Right, but it's like actually the Killing was an original Dutch investigation show. Anyways, those are my hot takes.

[Shane]

They have trolls and stuff up there too.

[Amanda]

Yeah, they're the ones doing the murdering.

[Ted]

Yeah, in Norway, the trolls.

[Shane]

It's all trolls.

[Ted]

See, that's why I would never visit Norway is because of the troll problem.

[Amanda]

What?

[Shane]

The troll problem, man.

[Amanda]

Okay, I think I've mentioned this before, but I grew up with like two 19 year old trolls. We call them au pairs. They're trolls. They were from Norway and they were like 19 and they taught us that there were trolls everywhere. Why they were there was because if you did anything wrong, they were always watching. So anytime, if you turned your back.

[Ted]

Really fast, you could catch a society of Santa's. That's terrifying.

[Amanda]

Yeah, yeah. The ones with the jewels in the belly and they look like old people. Those are the trolls? Yeah, I think they're awesome.

[Ted]

What type of jewels? Like sapphires or like.

[Amanda]

It could be like sapphires or emeralds or amethyst.

[Ted]

You want to Hear something funny that I can't stop talking about? Speaking of Sapphire. Oh, that's. That's where it connects here. But I'm gonna lose it if I don't mention it. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I know I'm.

[Amanda]

No, don't be sorry. This is great.

[Ted]

So I had an epiphany the other day. There is no. There's no. There's Grindr. There's all the regular dating apps, but there's no, like, lesbian dating app. Right?

[Shane]

Is there?

[Amanda]

So Troll Sapphire.

[Ted]

Is there a lesbian dating app? Does anyone in this room know?

[Shane]

There's not.

[Ted]

There's not.

[Amanda]

No.

[Ted]

Which is insane. I have a great idea, and I pitched this to my friend who is a lesbian, and I was like, they should make a lesbian dating app and call it Sapphire.

[Amanda]

Sapphire feels, like, rich.

[Ted]

No.

[Amanda]

Cause so it's only rich.

[Ted]

Lesbian rich because of Sapphic.

[Shane]

Mm. I understand where you're going.

[Ted]

So I told my. Cause it's Sapphic. There's a pun there.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ted]

But I told my friend Tucker about this, and I was like, dude, they gotta make a lesbian dating app. They gotta call it Sapphire. And his response was, oh, dude, that's a great idea. Women love sapphires.

[Shane]

No.

[Ted]

And I was like, that's not why I would be calling it that.

[Ryan Seacrest]

No.

[Ted]

And kid was awesome. It was awesome because he was so supportive, but he just had it fully wrong.

[Amanda]

Could you call it Diamonds? I don't know if women love sapphires.

[Ted]

And they're gorgeous, but he was so with it. I mean.

[Amanda]

Oh, women love sapphires. So too, Lesbians will love this app.

[Ted]

Yeah. This is the perfect logic trail to follow.

[Amanda]

Wait, why isn't there a lesbian dating app? That is actually insane to me. It's.

[Shane]

That. That's. That's. I guess I can't be surprised when we also learned recently, like, that there's hardly any lesbian bars. Like, there's. There's gay bars and stuff, but there's not really any lesbian bars.

[Ted]

Yeah, yeah.

[Amanda]

No, it's true.

[Shane]

Lately neglected.

[Amanda]

It's true.

[Shane]

Sad.

[Amanda]

There's like, some in San Francisco, but okay. It's kind of far away.

[Shane]

Who lives there?

[Amanda]

Yeah, exactly. That's what I'm saying. Not enough lesbian bars. I guess we should work on that.

[Shane]

Yeah. You know, they need us to do it.

[Amanda]

Come join Sapphire to find your flame.

[Ted]

Sapphire's desire.

[Shane]

Imagine a lesbian dating app comes out, and it's like, you're the creator. It's like, who made this? And it's you.

[Amanda]

Women love Sapphires. Get on Here and find your match.

[Ted]

I'm gonna make so much money from that.

[Amanda]

Thank you. My info dump is done. Because, you know, I can tell you guys have never seen. Seen, like, a international. They're so good, and the acting is so much better. Oh, sorry.

[Shane]

It's because they're speaking another language and you can't decipher how bad they are.

[Amanda]

Yeah, I think you can just tell.

[Shane]

Oh, okay.

[Amanda]

You can just. And it's slower. You have to be really into, like, crime. Like, you know how I love watching, like, court stuff. You have to be really into, like, the slow process of it. I think that's why I love it.

[Ted]

I feel like maybe the acting is different because I feel like a lot of those crime shows that they have now, they're just. They're pooping them out. It's like they're just shitting them out.

[Amanda]

Stop making me laugh.

[Ted]

What?

[Amanda]

They're pooping them out.

[Ted]

They're pooping them out. Whereas, like, I feel, you know, it's not like they're in Norway. I can't imagine that they're rocking the same amount of budget and frequency of.

[Amanda]

They, like, release it once every year or every.

[Ted]

So they're like. They're locked. They're locking in.

[Amanda]

They're locked in.

[Ted]

Yeah. They're getting the best actors in all of Norway.

[Amanda]

That's why. Yeah, yeah. Americans are just pumping it out. There's too many.

[Shane]

So many.

[Amanda]

And they're all very punny. It's like the cross the. Like, the line. Like, I don't know if those are ones, but I feel like they're always, like, police tape phrases.

[Ted]

Crime.

[Amanda]

Exactly.

[Ted]

Police scanner.

[Amanda]

Yeah. Oh, that should be a good one.

[Ted]

Really?

[Amanda]

Yeah. The guy has, like, abilities, and he can find people with scanning them.

[Ted]

Wait, okay, so they have superpowers now?

[Shane]

No, they could. That.

[Amanda]

They could. We pitch on this show. Yeah, we're artists. Okay. I'm done.

[Ted]

I mean, I guess I can try. So, like, whatever, guys. Whatever. Okay. This is why I've been. This is why I keep changing the topic, because I don't know how much I have to talk about.

[Shane]

That's okay.

[Ted]

That's why I keep throwing you guys off. I've been. I've been. I've been socially engineering this podcast.

[Amanda]

Okay. It's fine. I only had, like, five minutes of it.

[Ted]

Okay. When I was really into Halo the game. Halo. You know Halo.

[Amanda]

I do such a good show. I actually stopped watching.

[Shane]

That's. Is that the only thing you know about Halo is that show?

[Amanda]

I never played Halo.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Ted]

That's. I feel like that's so crazy.

[Amanda]

But it would be fun.

[Shane]

I never played much Halo.

[Ted]

Wait, but this just means. Once here, this just means that she thinks that Master Chief doesn't usually wear his helmet.

[Shane]

That's true.

[Ted]

When in the games, he never took it off.

[Amanda]

Yeah, because in the show, he took it off a lot.

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

And I was like, there he is. Master Chief.

[Ted]

Yeah. I'm curious. Can you break down that tone for me? Do you. Do you like Master Chief, or are you against him, or.

[Amanda]

I like him.

[Ted]

Okay. In the show, it didn't sound like you did.

[Amanda]

No, I like when he takes off his helmet.

[Ted]

Oh.

[Amanda]

Oh, no. Just his helmet.

[Ted]

He's got a question.

[Amanda]

I like Master Chief. He's hot.

[Ted]

Yeah. No, he's eight feet tall. Yes.

[Amanda]

I like that.

[Shane]

That. I didn't know that for a long time. Like, really? I'd, like, play Halo. I'd watch Friends play Halo. And then it was, like, revealed to me at a certain point. It's like, yeah, he's like 8ft tall. I was like, what?

[Ted]

And his creation was written. Yeah, because, you know, like, millions of years ago in the Halo lore, there was species of creatures called the Precursors. And the Precursors basically kind of like, invent. And, you know, there's gonna be some Halo goblins that are gonna be.

[Amanda]

I was gonna say they're on your ass.

[Ted]

They're gonna. On this. And this. This is just me after updating myself on it and having read the Wikipedia when I was 16. The Precursors, they kind of, like, are God in some ways. Like, they created. Or, like, they're the first intelligent species that existed millions of years ago, and they. I think, pretty sure that they created other species. So they, like, made, like, fucking humanity, and they made the Forerunners. You know about that from the show is that they talk about the show. The Forerunners.

[Amanda]

The Forerunners. Those.

[Ted]

Anyways, those trucks they made, the Sangheili.

[Amanda]

That sounds familiar. Cortado.

[Ted]

Oh, God. Oh.

[Shane]

Oh, that's a. That's a critical blow right there.

[Ted]

Oh, my God. That cleared my sinuses.

[Shane]

Your tummy ache went away.

[Ted]

Oh, my God.

[Amanda]

Don't cry on this show. Don't cry on the show, because I take risks, okay? I take risks on this show. Don't cry for me, honey.

[Ted]

Oh, my God. Cortado. Cortado is crazy. Cortana.

[Amanda]

Yeah, I know.

[Ted]

Cortado sounds like her drunk uncle or something, and she's like an AI program.

[Amanda]

He created a new character.

[Ted]

Oh, my God, Cortado. That's awesome. Oh, my God. He sounds like he eats burritos and doesn't move.

[Amanda]

Oh, there you go.

[Shane]

Anyways, he's wearing a Hawaiian shirt.

[Ted]

Oh, my God. I'm crying. That's so fun.

[Amanda]

That's so true.

[Ted]

That's so funny. The wonder in your eyes when you said it. It was like, cortado.

[Shane]

It's like genuine.

[Ted]

That was awesome.

[Amanda]

Papa Cortado.

[Ted]

Papa Cortado.

[Amanda]

Because I thought you were gonna look at me and go, wow, you do know a lot.

[Ted]

I know. And it was so. That was. Oh, my God. That was. That was amazing.

[Shane]

That's every day.

[Ted]

That was like. I. I hope that. I hope that I can feel the funny. I hope I can get that again someday. You will probably keep talking.

[Shane]

Get 15.

[Ted]

Oh, my God.

[Amanda]

That was here every day.

[Shane]

Yeah, it's all the time here.

[Ted]

Cortado. Wow. Okay. Sorry.

[Amanda]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ted]

Where was I? Oh, yeah. So the Precursors, they made a bunch of, you know, species and stuff, and then they made the foreigners. The Forerunners are, like. They got really, really advanced, and then they started getting a little bit egotistic, and they started being like, yeah, no, I don't think we need these Precursor guys anymore. And they, you know, the Precursors, they're sort of in charge of, you know, the galaxy. They're getting control of everything. They have this thing called the mantle of responsibility, which is like this sort of role at the peak being like a sort of a Tier one organ or tier Almost zero civilization, where it's like, Tier seven is, like, pretty low. Like, tier zero is really high.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Ted]

They can do that backwards. They can go faster than light travel. They can. You know, they can make big, huge structures the size of planets and stuff like that.

[Amanda]

Okay.

[Ted]

And they can make intelligent life. You saying that the way that you're being like. Yeah, it feels like you're not getting any of this.

[Amanda]

I'm getting it. I'm just trying to figure out where it was in the show.

[Ted]

Never in the show. All before. This is, like, millions of years ago.

[Amanda]

Damn.

[Ted]

This is millions of years ago.

[Amanda]

Okay.

[Ted]

Then the Forerunners were like, we don't really like the Precursors anymore. We kind of want the mantle of responsibility. So they get. Go into a war with the Precursors, and I think that they won. And then the Precursors are like, man, fuck. What are we gonna do? Guess we're gonna turn ourselves to dust.

[Amanda]

Where does Master Chief come into play?

[Shane]

Turn ourselves to dust?

[Ted]

Yeah. It's a way to, like, survive further. Like, hopefully later on they would, like, be revived from the dust. But then the dust got corrupted and it turned into a little thing that we like to call the fly.

[Shane]

The flood.

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Whoa. I don't. I don't know anything about the flood.

[Amanda]

So where you play Halo 3?

[Shane]

No, I never played Halo.

[Amanda]

Oh, this is an info dump for all them out there.

[Ted]

So the flood is. We got any Halo players in here?

[Shane]

Whoa, you're alone.

[Ted]

Am I in a room?

[Shane]

Scott over there.

[Ted]

Are you rocking with this one?

[Shane]

Look at Scott. And you know he played Halo.

[Ted]

You played one and two. Oh, you know about the flood? He's just like, scott knows about the flood. The flood is sort of this like hive mind galactic level parasite virus, okay. That is controlled by a larger intelligence called the Gravemind. And it is like, there's no cure for it. And we're talking like the highest level of civilization you could ever possibly have. They can't fucking kill this shit. It's taken over planets. The only way to try to stop it is to fucking glass a planet which is like shooting fucking lasers at it until the entire surface of the planet is glass. And they're just destroying plants to try to stop this because they'll like, imagine like this parasite thing and it like can take over your body and I can control it. And then like it's part of the hive mind, so then it can like. And this is an intelligent hive mind, like a super intelligent hive mind. So it can like take over like a planet. And now it's got control of like the ships, you know, like the spaceships and stuff. And now it's like going to other planets.

[Amanda]

Damn.

[Ted]

So that's how it's.

[Shane]

That the main enemy of the games.

[Ted]

It's one of the enemies, like just one bad guy that's like an ancient enemy that. It's like a tertiary antagonist of the Halo series where we just always know it's there. Yeah. And it's like kind of like the sort. The reason for the Halo arrays.

[Shane]

The arrays?

[Ted]

The Halo arrays. You know about this, like what your.

[Shane]

Shirt did and why you had to change shirts?

[Ted]

Yeah, the Halo array is why I had to change shirts.

[Amanda]

The Halo array.

[Ted]

So fast forward some time. Fast forward some time. And humanity also existed 100,000 years ago, millions of years ago, as this space faring civilization. That's pretty crazy, right?

[Shane]

Whoa.

[Ted]

In the lore of this thing, humanity was a space faring civilization. They were super advanced. Apparently they were a little bit like a little bit physiologically different than we are now. Like they were like taller. That's where how I got into the thing. They were a little bit taller.

[Amanda]

Oh.

[Ted]

And apparently more intelligent. Which kind of is a bummer.

[Shane]

Well, they're space faring.

[Ted]

Yeah. Yeah. And so they were kind of like with. They were also in the galaxy and they had a bunch of planets, and the Forerunners had a bunch of planets. But humanity ran into the Flood at one point and they were like, fuck, what the hell is this? And they're fighting the Flood.

[Amanda]

Is that Master Chief?

[Ted]

Not yet. This is a million years ago. They're fighting the Flood and then, you know, Floods winning. They're kind of getting pushed out of their territory. And we're talking like on a galactic scale. A bunch of planets. And they're like, okay, well, we need to make up for this territory. So they start taking Forerunner planets because they're like running from the Flood. But then the foreigners are like, you guys are fucking starting a war with us. You guys are fucking attacking us. We're gonna fight you back. So now it's like humanity's like a pincer thing where the foreigners are fighting them and whatever. Here humanity basically gets their ass kicked because they're fighting a Forerunner and the. And the Flood at the same time. And then the Forerunners fucking like, do some crazy shit where they like, devolve humanity and put them back on Earth. Hello.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It is Ryan. And I was on a flight the other day playing one of my favorite social spin slot games on jumbaccasino.com I looked over the person sitting next to me and you know what they were doing? They were also playing Chumba Casino. Coincidence? I think not everybody's loving having fun with it. Chumba Casino's home to hundreds of casino style games that you can play for free anytime, anywhere, even at 30,000ft. So sign up [e-mail] to claim your free welcome bonus. That's chumbacasino.com and live the Chumba life.

[Shane]

No purchase necessary. BGW prohibited by law.

[Ted]

See terms and conditions 18+ and then put them out of the Tier VII civilization.

[Shane]

That's how we are.

[Ted]

Yeah. They put them back to hunter gatherers. And then now foreigners are fighting the Flood and they have to make this. And they don't really know how to fight the Flood. There's no cure. So their solution is to create the Halo Array. This is where the Halo name comes from.

[Amanda]

Whoa.

[Ted]

Because it's a series of super weapons, These giant rings that are planet sized rings that are spread throughout the galaxy. And when they're activated, they basically just.

[Amanda]

Like a safe house.

[Ted]

No, they Kill all life in the galaxy. It's fully, fully the opposite concept.

[Shane]

They're just doing a gigantic self delete on the galaxy.

[Ted]

Yeah. And the way that they. And so they do that. But the way that they like save all the species, all the intelligent species and stuff is they like, they do kind of like a. Like that seed place in Norway or something. Yeah, they do kind of like an equivalent of that. And then after the Halo ray fires, they like put all of those species back on their planets and stuff like that.

[Shane]

Oh, wow.

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Shane]

So.

[Amanda]

Whoa.

[Shane]

And the first Halo game is like Earth like discovering one of the Halo rings.

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Shane]

So it literally starts off, you're like, what is this?

[Ted]

Yeah, they're like. They're like. They're like, what the fuck is going on here?

[Amanda]

So then it's one of the games. You're going backwards in time to learn all that history.

[Ted]

No, this is all. This is just all lore that you learn. You learn this over the course of the games, stuff like that. And like there is like this whole thing where when humanity got devolved, there was this forerunner character called the Librarian who like, kind of like was sort of like the protector of humanity in a way because she actually like gave a shit. Whereas this other guy that didact, he was like, fuck these guys. We should just genocide these fuckers. And she was like, no. And so she like put. It was weird. It was like she put stuff in humanity's DNA to eventually develop stuff like the battle armor and like Cortado and.

[Amanda]

Yeah, I got that one.

[Ted]

So.

[Amanda]

Whoa. So in the show, what's crazy about Cortado is the actor in season one gets replaced in season two. What the hell? I liked her too.

[Ted]

She was way better.

[Amanda]

So I don't know why she respectfully.

[Ted]

To the actor who plays her in season two.

[Amanda]

She was. She was the voice in the video game.

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

So then I don't know why she got replaced.

[Ted]

I don't know either. I think that it was contract disputes. I think that's always a possibility. Yeah. I guess you guys as actors probably would know more about how wicker.

[Shane]

I mean, it could be anything. Yeah, she could have booked another show.

[Amanda]

Do you not categorize yourself as an actor?

[Ted]

I just haven't really been doing it that much. I guess I have a little bit recently, but like, you know, since when I was in high school, you know, I was doing like the theater and like I was doing the musicals and stuff and that was like. I was like, I do acting. But now, you know, I'm like, Fucking.

[Amanda]

What were you cast as all the time in theater, dad, huh?

[Ted]

No, not really.

[Amanda]

He was tall.

[Ted]

Yeah. I mean, I got. In junior year, I got the part of Dirty Old man and Sweet Charity.

[Shane]

There you go.

[Ted]

Yeah, that's the lead. The lead of Sweet Charity.

[Amanda]

That's the lead.

[Ted]

His name. Yeah, because he's a dirty old man and he's running a charity.

[Amanda]

Wow.

[Ted]

Yeah, and he's like. He's like, I'm so dirty, but the kids need to eat.

[Shane]

He's my favorite Halo.

[Ted]

Yeah. Dirty Old Man.

[Shane]

Dirty Old Man.

[Ted]

Yeah, it's pretty good.

[Shane]

He's got. He's got laser blade.

[Ted]

I feel like how we do it on time because I've been talking about this for a while and I. 51. So, I mean. I mean, what else do you want to know? Ask me anything about Halo.

[Shane]

Do you play as Master Chief in all of them?

[Ted]

In all the Halos?

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ted]

No, in Halo. Odst. You play as an odst.

[Shane]

What's odious? What's an odst?

[Ted]

They're like people who come down on drop pods. They're sort of like. They're like. They're like MARSOC or Navy SEALS equivalent. But they're not like Spartans, you know Spartans, Like a super level.

[Shane]

So they're not a superhuman? Yeah, they're not kind of a regular guy.

[Amanda]

Master Chief is a Spartan.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ted]

Yeah. It's pretty fucked up how. How the Spartan program was started.

[Amanda]

Yeah, really sad. They took him as kids.

[Ted]

Yeah, they took them as kids and they replaced them. The children. They stole children from their families, and then they replaced the children with flash clones, which are clones that will die very soon after. They're so. So basically, for the families, it's like their child just kind of suddenly died.

[Shane]

So they didn't know that their child was.

[Ted]

No, they didn't. They just. They just assumed their died.

[Amanda]

Oh, my God, my child just died. It's really sad.

[Ted]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure that happened in the show, too. So she's being legit, right?

[Amanda]

It happened the show. They had a bunch of clones. And then not a bunch, but, like, you'd watch the clone and the clone is like living a life, being like, oh, everything's fine, and then they die.

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

And so it's like, oh, my God, my child died. So they never have to wonder if they. If they were.

[Shane]

And the clone has no idea they're a clone.

[Amanda]

Yeah, well, watch the show.

[Ted]

Well, yeah, the clone. What Now I'm forgetting about how it goes.

[Amanda]

The clone. Oh, yeah, watch the Show.

[Shane]

Oh, God.

[Amanda]

Everyone's like, don't watch the show.

[Ted]

I don't know too much about. Because I watched the show a while ago, and I don't really. I wasn't really.

[Amanda]

I only watched, I think, the first season and then the second season. And after the second season, I was like, all right, Master Chief.

[Ted]

Yeah, we're good. Yeah, but Master Chief, he's pretty cool. He's. He's. Yeah, he's strong. I'm, like, losing steam from my own information here.

[Shane]

You've done great.

[Amanda]

We're good, I think.

[Ted]

Really? You're good.

[Amanda]

We can wrap this up.

[Ted]

No, I got more stuff.

[Amanda]

No, no, no, no. So I think we actually have to.

[Ted]

The Sing Healing.

[Amanda]

No, no. Yeah. I want to hear your dumps.

[Shane]

I was just gonna. This was finally my excuse to talk about books here.

[Amanda]

You do?

[Shane]

I don't talk. I don't really go in on books.

[Amanda]

Talk about books.

[Shane]

When have I talked about books?

[Amanda]

You talk about books every day.

[Shane]

Not a. Here.

[Ted]

You know, there's like, 40 Halo novels.

[Shane]

I do know that.

[Ted]

Really?

[Shane]

Yeah, because Brian David Gilbert did the whole deep dive on them.

[Amanda]

All right, let's. Let's talk about that. I would love to. No, I mean it. Now I'm like. Now I sound like.

[Ted]

That didn't sound like.

[Amanda]

No, here's the thing. Now I sound like an asshole.

[Ted]

What? You do. And. Cause when you said it, you were like, I would love to.

[Amanda]

I would love to. I'm a master forever.

[Ted]

I want to hear about your books.

[Amanda]

I do, too.

[Shane]

You messaged me. I responded to your DMs. No, I DMed you.

[Ted]

So I need to go through those, and I need to. Because you suggested books specifically. Right. I need to order those. Because basically what I was doing is I was filling a bookshelf, so I basically made a close friend story. You know, if you responded to my message, you might be on it. I asked everyone. I was like, send me some books. And then pretty much anyone who responded, I just ordered the book.

[Shane]

So you filled a bookshelf full of books that you have not read?

[Ted]

Yeah. So now I can just go through them and I can just read. And I know that these are all.

[Amanda]

Did he say Yellowface?

[Shane]

No, I did not recommend Yellowface, because you were right.

[Ted]

Now I'm reading Just Kids by Patti Smith.

[Shane]

Oh, I don't know that one.

[Ted]

I think her last name is Smith.

[Shane]

Whoa.

[Ted]

What?

[Amanda]

Patti Smith, Singer?

[Ted]

No.

[Amanda]

Okay.

[Ted]

I don't think so. It's like autobiography about artists that I wasn't aware of. So I'm like, reading it without the context and. But it's a. I don't do a ton of. I need to keep reading it. I need to keep reading it. But it's good. I mean, it's well written. I think it's one of those things where it's like, I didn't. I hadn't read books in, like, years. And so it was nice to, like, go back into a book and then see a word I hadn't seen before, ever seen before. And then learning that way, because I feel like I have a pretty good vocabulary. And that's because I used to read all the time.

[Shane]

Oh.

[Ted]

And then I just kind of stopped reading.

[Amanda]

You went on the Internet?

[Shane]

When did you stop reading?

[Ted]

When did I stop reading? Probably. Honestly, probably when I got out of high school.

[Shane]

That's so funny, because it was, like, the flip for me. Me, because I hated reading as a kid. I, like, didn't want to touch books. I. I despised it. I, like, hardly read anything. And then it's around, like, 16, when I just was like, I need to read books. I was like, I. I gotta get into this now.

[Amanda]

You read so many.

[Shane]

So I. I started reading, and then I just, like. I was like, I'm gonna just go in, like, I'm gonna start with, like, a bunch of classics. And then ever since, I've just always been reading books.

[Ted]

It's like, gotta be good for you.

[Amanda]

It's very good.

[Ted]

I think it's gotta be good for you.

[Amanda]

And you read books. You don't Audio.

[Shane]

I do audiobooks. I do audiobooks for nonfiction. I prefer audio for nonfiction because then I. If I lose track for a second, it's not the end of the world. Whereas fiction, if you don't pay attention for, like, a beat.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Then you come back, you're like, wait, what happened? Who. Who is this guy? Whereas nonfiction. I'm like, okay. I come back, but I understand what we're talking about.

[Amanda]

What are you reading right now?

[Shane]

I just started a book that you might like. I started a mystery that just got released that's pretty acclaimed right now. It's called the God of the woods, and it takes place in the 70s, and it's at a summer camp, and this girl goes missing.

[Amanda]

Like, when I love summer camp, she's.

[Shane]

Not in her bunk, and it's the daughter of the grandparents who own the summer camp.

[Ted]

Of course. It's like, oh, the heir.

[Shane]

Where'd she go? And then it's also revealed that 14 years earlier, her brother disappeared at that summer camp, too. And Nobody knows what happened.

[Amanda]

You know what it reminds me of? It reminds me of Boy in the woods by Harlan Coburn that I read forever ago. And Netflix did a show about it, and it was not American, it was international, and I loved it and it was so good. And it was literally a boy went missing in his bunk. So anyways, God in the woods.

[Shane]

God of the woods.

[Amanda]

This actually sounds really good.

[Shane]

Yeah. But I read all sorts of stuff all the time. I'm also listening to a book called Filter World, which is about algorithms and how they affect culture.

[Ted]

And this is nonfiction or fiction.

[Shane]

It's non fiction, but it's fascinating. It's talking about, like, just every element of it. I'm not too far into that, but I love that type of stuff.

[Amanda]

Whoa.

[Shane]

I also. I had earlier read something similar to an autobiography. I read the House of My Mother, which is by the daughter of Ruby Frankie, the vlogger family Vlogger. Family vlogger.

[Ted]

Whoa.

[Amanda]

From Salt Lake City.

[Shane]

Yeah. Or from Utah.

[Ted]

Right. I feel like a lot of family vloggers are from Utah.

[Amanda]

So this one went to jail recently. Blonde.

[Shane]

Yeah. For her.

[Ted]

Wasn't there another Utah family vlogger that. Something happened with them?

[Shane]

And this was like a year or.

[Amanda]

So ago, her and her therapist.

[Shane]

This was. This was crazy. But it's a great book. Cause it's. She wrote it and in the audiobook, she reads it and so you're. And which I always prefer, like, with memoirs and autobiographies. I like audiobooks. It's like them doing it. Like Jennette McCurdy's book. She's reading it and stuff. So you're kind of like. I'm like, okay, I get to know how important this was to you. But I'm reading all sorts of stuff. I mean, Yellowface is probably my favorite book from last year.

[Amanda]

That's why I thought that you would recommend that.

[Shane]

I mean, I recommend that book to anyone. It's by RF Kuang, who's my favorite author. She wrote this series called the Poppy War, which is this insane fantasy trilogy. She wrote this other book called Babel, which is really awesome.

[Amanda]

Is that the one that they did the movie on?

[Shane]

No, they're gonna do a movie on Yellowface.

[Amanda]

Really?

[Shane]

The Yellowface? I don't even. It's like a thriller. Like a cringe thriller is the best way I can describe it.

[Ted]

What makes it cringe?

[Shane]

Okay, slight. This isn't spoiler. This is. This is stuff that happens in the first 15 pages. But if you really don't want to Know, you can fast forward through this part, but basically, this. This woman, this white woman, she's trying to be an author. She. She's not having too much success. And a friend of hers, not. Not like super close friend, but just an acquaintance friend, this. This Asian woman, she is having just hit after hit, she's becoming this acclaimed author. They're hanging out one night, and her friend is showing her, like, oh, I have this manuscript for this book that I, I. That I haven't shown anyone that I've written out on a typewriter. And it's about. It's kind of inspired from the Chinese revolution in the 1900s. And it's this big epic. And they're. Yeah. And they're. They're hanging out and they're eating pancakes late at night. And then her friend chokes and dies.

[Ted]

No.

[Shane]

And she's like, oh, my gosh, my friend died. This is horrible. Also, her. She has her manuscript. I should look it over and I. Oh, I can make some edits. Oh, I should publish this under my own name so that I can help her.

[Amanda]

Yes.

[Shane]

Live on. And she's a white woman trying to pass this off. And the whole book is her, like, this book is a huge hit because it's a great written book, but it's just everyone being like, so how did you find the inspiration for this? And it's her just having to continue. It is awful. Every page is so devastating because it's so cringy and just.

[Amanda]

I don't think I could do. I don't think I can read that.

[Shane]

Kiana recommended it, and she was. She had to put it down at one point because she couldn't handle it. It's awesome.

[Amanda]

I struggle with that like a secret.

[Shane]

It's an extremely dark comedy in a way, but it is.

[Ted]

So I'm uncomfortable thinking about that. All the implications of that really messed up.

[Shane]

And then it's like, it gets into a lot of things where it's like the publication company is like, yeah. So, you know, considering the themes of this. Her name's like. I forget what her. The author's name is. It's like Juniper Hayward or something. They're like, we should put it under a pseudonym. You should go by Juniper Song so that people don't know your ethnicity. It's. It's awesome. It is so rough to read, but it is really well written. RF Kwong is just, like, a genius. She just writes. And then what's crazy is the Poppy War, her other trilogy, completely different than that. Like, this just insane fantasy Epic.

[Ted]

Wow.

[Shane]

Like, she's all over the place. And then babble.

[Ted]

I mean. I mean, that's cool. I like that. I like it when people are just like, I want to do this. And then I also. I kind of want to do this, like, doing one thing all the time.

[Shane]

She's all over the place. She has a book coming out later this year, which is about. I think it's about two academic students who traveled to the underworld to get a letter of recommendation from their dead professor.

[Ted]

That's funny.

[Amanda]

That's amazing.

[Shane]

Yeah. It's called Katabasis. People are, like, stoked for it. I am. I know I am.

[Amanda]

You should do your book reviews on your YouTube channel.

[Ted]

Yeah, yeah, he said he was going to. In his video. He'd probably do that. You know the one that you watched, right?

[Amanda]

Yeah, I watched. I watched a little bit of it. I didn't watch the whole thing.

[Shane]

It was four minutes long.

[Ted]

I just. I just.

[Amanda]

No, it wasn't. No, it wasn't. My first video was four.

[Ted]

Hey, Skip, what do you.

[Shane]

I don't.

[Ted]

I don't peruse it.

[Shane]

I don't expect anyone to literally watch.

[Amanda]

I watched the first two minutes. You.

[Ted]

You noped out at two minutes.

[Shane]

It showed me that in the analytics, it said, this is how much Amanda watched.

[Amanda]

This is my issue. I struggle to be on the phone.

[Ted]

She's got an issue with you.

[Amanda]

No, I struggle to be on the phone for too long. I have a limit on my Instagram.

[Ted]

Do you know what's crazy? Is that, like, at the beginning of this podcast, you were telling me when I mentioned the Barbie video thing, you were like, I would. That's an hour and 48 minute long video, and you can't get through. Here's four minute long. But I get it.

[Amanda]

Ted's a really good YouTuber, so that's not what's happening. I would prepare for that. Whereas yours. I saw that you posted. I was like, oh, I should watch. And I watched the first two minutes. I was like, nice. He's doing it. Goodbye. That's my truth. I love.

[Shane]

You did a great job. I really.

[Amanda]

I was like, oh, my God. I fucking get it. Great.

[Shane]

I did not accept that. That's. That's great. That's great. I didn't expect anyone to watch any of it.

[Amanda]

I don't like.

[Shane]

I don't care.

[Amanda]

I don't like what you're doing, and I don't like that you're great.

[Ted]

Excuse me. You can't be mean to me. I'm a guest.

[Shane]

Yeah, he's our smeagot guest.

[Ted]

I can't believe you.

[Amanda]

Okay, don't cry here.

[Shane]

He's never gonna come back, man.

[Amanda]

Yeah, he will, right?

[Ted]

Yeah, I will. I do like coming on for smosh every time you guys ask me to do something, I'm like, yeah.

[Shane]

And then you sleep in.

[Ted]

That was one time. Honestly, I bring it up more than you guys do. So then you sleep in. Well, I made it today though.

[Shane]

You did make it.

[Ted]

I made it today. You know why? Because you guys gave me a call time of 8:50. So I was aiming for 8:50. You gave me a call time at like 10:00am I would have, you know, I would have slept through it, likely.

[Amanda]

So 8:50.

[Shane]

When do you wake up usually?

[Ted]

What? Honestly? Okay, I had a really strong period where I was waking up at like eight every day. It was awesome. And I was going to bed at like 10 or 11. I'm falling asleep at like 1 or 2 recently and it's bad.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Ted]

And I was like looking at how much time I had left to sleep and I was like, I gotta wake up at 7 if I want to get there at 8:50. And I was like, okay. So I only got like five hours of sleep, but that's enough time. Wrong.

[Amanda]

No, it's not.

[Ted]

It's never is. It never is. I need a cool eight.

[Amanda]

I love a cool eight.

[Shane]

Yeah. Well, I think we're out of time.

[Amanda]

We're out of time.

[Shane]

Probably good for me because I was gonna rant into other things about books like Booktok. But you don't talk about book talk.

[Ted]

No, we should talk about Booktok.

[Shane]

No, you don't. That's the. That's the one thing I was gonna talk about. The one thing with Booktok is you don't talk about book talk like fight club, lest you be punished.

[Amanda]

By who?

[Shane]

Book talk.

[Ted]

By book talk.

[Amanda]

Oh.

[Shane]

In fact, us talking about it, Even just mentioning this right now. This could get clipped onto TikTok and we're screwed.

[Ted]

Well, aren't they like really like. Aren't they like sexually repressed freaks on there? Isn't that like the whole thing with Booktok?

[Shane]

Ted, it's been great having you on.

[Amanda]

He's on Book Talk. Okay, Ted, thanks for being a guest. It's been great. I've learned a lot.

[Ted]

Thanks.

[Amanda]

You're from Massachusetts. We're gonna talk about that later.

[Ted]

Do I get to plug something?

[Shane]

Plug whatever you want.

[Ted]

I've got a brand new podcast with my best friend Tucker. It's called Take it easy. You can find us on YouTube as take it easy akeiteasypod or on Instagram Akeiteasy. Just take it easy. We got that ad, which is really cool. It's a very fun. And on Spotify and everywhere. Take it easy.

[Amanda]

Take it easy.

[Ted]

That's the Zoo podcast. And it's a good time. It's with my best friend of 11 years, Tucker Keene.

[Shane]

Wow.

[Ted]

And we just started. We just launched it on the 4th of February.

[Amanda]

Amazing.

[Shane]

I love all the promo photos. I like the. The houndstooth jacket you got on in them.

[Ted]

Oh, the. Like the houndstooth.

[Shane]

Is it. Is it not? Is that not the pattern of it?

[Ted]

Like the tweed thing kind.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

Is he the one that recommended Sapphire?

[Ted]

Well, I'm the one who recommended Sapphire. He's the one who was like, oh, that's a great idea. Women love.

[Shane]

You guys need to talk about that in the.

[Ted]

We did.

[Shane]

We did. Okay.

[Ted]

But I was. I was like, I feel like this is too funny of a moment to not bring on other podcasts and use.

[Amanda]

No, it's too good.

[Shane]

No, it's a good. It's a good marketing for it.

[Ted]

And what's funny about those photo shoots is that we took a. We did a photo shoot for every major US Holiday because you saw the Valentine's Day one. Yeah. So we've got one. There's one for St. Patrick's Day that we did. We have one for every single one.

[Shane]

That's awesome.

[Ted]

Yeah.

[Shane]

For Anchor Day or Arbor Day.

[Ted]

I don't know if we have one for Arbor Day, but Arbor Day keeps coming up whenever I talk about this, and I don't know what Arbor Day is.

[Shane]

I don't either. Our call out. We have a smoshmouth shirt that you can get. And one of them, if you buy it, one of them might be the one that Ted sweat in.

[Amanda]

Oh, my God, that would be so awesome. We're gonna wrap it back up. No.

[Shane]

Yeah. You'll never know.

[Amanda]

They're gonna go on merch soon.

[Shane]

Oh, yeah. It'll be out there.

[Amanda]

Yeah, It'll be out there very soon. Oh, yeah. When this gets released.

[Shane]

Anyways. Halo.

[Amanda]

All right.

[Shane]

Bye.

[Amanda]

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[Ted]

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[Shane]

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