#87 - Bob The Drag Queen Loves Zendaya

Summary

Podcast Summary: Smosh Mouth Episode #87 - "Bob The Drag Queen Loves Zendaya"

Release Date: March 31, 2025
Host(s): Shayne Topp (Shane), Amanda Lehan-Canto (Amanda), Courtney

---

1. Welcoming the Special Guest: Bob the Drag Queen

The episode kicks off with hosts Shayne ("Shane") and Amanda introducing their special guest, Bob the Drag Queen (Bob). Courtney also joins the conversation, setting the stage for an engaging discussion.

• Amanda [00:03]: "We have a very special guest with us today, Bob the Drag Queen."

---

2. Bob’s Experience at a Recent Event Featuring Weird Al Yankovic

Bob shares anecdotes from a recent event he attended, highlighting his admiration for Weird Al Yankovic.

• Bob [01:24]: "It was like Cress. Whitestrips white. Sure."

He describes the event as "the whitest night of my life," emphasizing the predominantly white lineup, including artists like Weird Al and Rufus Wainwright.

• Bob [01:57]: "He was actually really, really cool about it."

Bob recounts how he and Melissa Villasenor managed to secure a picture with Weird Al, praising Al's approachable nature.

---

3. Reality TV Ventures and Insights from "The Traitors"

The conversation shifts to Bob's extensive experience with reality TV shows, particularly his participation in The Traitors.

• Bob [05:19]: "I've been on several reality TV shows... I've been on RuPaul's Drag Race, and I competed on The Traitors."

He discusses strategies and perceptions from the show, addressing online rumors about his performance.

• Bob [06:15]: "People online who said that I was, quote, unquote, the worst trader of all time."

Bob expresses pride in his gameplay and how his exit was one of the most viewed episodes of The Traitors.

---

4. Exploring Bob’s Creative Endeavors: Writing and Music

A significant portion of the episode delves into Bob’s literary and musical projects, particularly his book and its audiobook version.

a. The Book: "Weird Voice"

Bob discusses the genesis of his book, initially approached to write a memoir but opting instead to create a historical fiction narrative centered around Harriet Tubman.

• Bob [27:07]: "I do love historical fiction. I had just finished reading The Good Lord Bird by James McBride..."

He outlines the book’s premise, where Harriet Tubman is resurrected to navigate modern challenges, including producing a hip-hop album.

• Bob [33:28]: "I wrote the book to mimic what I imagined a journey to freedom on the Underground Railroad would be like."

b. The Audiobook Experience

Bob shares his emotional journey of recording the audiobook, highlighting the inclusion of original songs that enhance the storytelling.

• Bob [31:02]: "I finished the audiobook, it had been five years... the last chapter might be inaudible. I was crying..."

He emphasizes the personal significance and emotional depth involved in bringing the book to life through narration and music.

---

5. Deep Dive into Historical Narratives and Creative Vision

Bob passionately discusses Harriet Tubman’s legacy, her strategic brilliance, and her portrayal in his book.

• Bob [36:50]: "Harriet Tubman is America's first black superhero... she had precognition."

He provides a detailed account of Tubman’s daring missions and her role in the Combahee River Raid, showcasing her as a fearless leader.

• Bob [38:35]: "Abraham Lincoln was not an abolitionist. He wanted to punish the South by taking away their free labor."

His portrayal of historical figures like Abraham Lincoln and Frederick Douglass offers a nuanced perspective, challenging common perceptions.

• Bob [52:14]: "Abraham Lincoln wanted to punish the south... remove free labor, actually he might think to get rid of black people."

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6. Future Projects and Creative Ambitions

Bob hints at future literary projects, including sequels and entirely new narratives that continue to blend historical elements with contemporary themes.

• Bob [62:03]: "The next book is called Jesus Christ for President."

He briefly outlines the plot, infusing humor and satire into his imaginative storytelling.

---

7. Quick Fire Round: Getting Personal with Bob

Towards the episode’s conclusion, hosts engage Bob in a Quick Fire Questions segment, adding a light-hearted and personal touch.

• Shane [66:05]: "Name three adjectives that describe a margarita."

  Bob: "Zesty. Tangy. Boozy."

• Amanda [66:35]: "Can animatronics be sexy?"

  Bob: "100% for sure."

• Shane [67:02]: "Do you eat cereal?"

  Bob: "I do like cereal. My favorite cereal is Apple Jacks."

• Amanda [67:12]: "Submissive or breeding?"

  Bob: "I'm submissive."

---

8. Closing Remarks and Promotion

Bob wraps up the episode by promoting his book and audiobook, providing links for listeners to purchase or access signed copies.

• Bob [68:45]: "If you guys want to get my book, you can go to readthedragqueen.com."

He underscores the uniqueness of his audiobook, featuring his own narration and original songs.

• Bob [69:02]: "The songs will cut in, like, just. They’re not at the end. They’re put into the appropriate place."

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Notable Quotes

• Bob on Weird Al Yankovic [02:34]: "Who has more Grammys out of these artists?... Weird Al has five Grammys."

• Bob on Harriet Tubman’s Leadership [36:00]: "If you take a step back, that would be the last step you ever take."

• Bob on Writing the Book [27:07]: "I do love historical fiction... I write jokes, I podcast, and then I go home and I go to sleep."

• Bob on Fearless Leadership [36:54]: "She had a dance with the devil and mama got the upper hand."

---

Insights and Conclusions

In this episode, Bob the Drag Queen offers a multifaceted glimpse into his life beyond drag performance, highlighting his literary talents and deep engagement with historical narratives. His passion for Harriet Tubman and dedication to portraying her legacy with both reverence and creative imagination underscores his commitment to blending education with entertainment. The hosts effectively navigate through serious discussions and lighthearted segments, ensuring a well-rounded and captivating episode.

Listeners gain insight into Bob’s creative process, his perspectives on historical figures, and his endeavors in writing and music. The Quick Fire Questions segment adds a personal flavor, humanizing Bob and strengthening the connection between him and the audience.

Overall, this episode serves as an inspiring testament to Bob the Drag Queen's versatility and dedication to using his platform for storytelling and education, all while maintaining his signature humor and charisma.

Transcript

[Shane]

Hi, welcome to Smosh Mouth. I'm Shane.

[Amanda]

And I'm Amanda. And we have a very special guest with us today, Bob the Drag Queen. If you are not watching and listening, this is Bob's voice. Hey, Bob.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Hello. My name is Bob. I just do a weird voice. Hi, I'm Bob. Nice to meet Bob the Drag Queen. Yeah.

[Amanda]

And also we have Courtney. Courtney's here?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, yes, Courtney is our special guest. So. My name is Bob. I'm a member of. I'm a member of smoshmoth podcast. Your beautiful book, Harriet Tubman Live in Concert. I noticed you pinned it under my name, which is kind of correct.

[Courtney]

I had to have alias.

[Amanda]

You know, that's crazy.

[Courtney]

I'm actually here because I was like, I must be here because I am a huge fan.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, really?

[Courtney]

Yes.

[Amanda]

He's a huge fan. She busted in here. We were like, you can't come in.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Average size. Average.

[Courtney]

5, 6.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was at a party last. No, well, not a party. That's not true. I was at a benefit last night, and when I was there, I gotta say, it was the whitest night of my life. It was.

[Shane]

Wow.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I gotta honestly.

[Shane]

And this is the whitest day of your life?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No.

[Amanda]

You'Ve had to have whiter days than this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Last night was. I mean, the show was Paul Schaeffer.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Weird Al Yankovic.

[Amanda]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Very white. Rufus Wainwright.

[Amanda]

Yep. I do love Rufus Wainwright.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I love Rufus Wainwright. Paula Poundstone.

[Courtney]

Okay.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It was white.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It was like Cress. Whitestrips white. Sure. Someone who I really admired growing up, Weird Al Yankovic was there, and I really wanted a picture with him. So I was like. I had, like. I had to be cool the whole day. I was like, yeah, Weird Al, you know, you're. You're cool. You're a cool cat. You're a cool cat. All those instruments and those funny songs. Then by the end, me and Melissa Villasenor were standing outside. We were both like, we want a picture with Weird Al. We don't want to be fangirls, but we want a picture with Weird Al Yankovic. Like, we're, you know, we're comedians. Come on.

[Amanda]

Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then Weird Al came out, and we were like, so sorry. Please, Weird Al, can I please have a picture with you? He was actually really, really cool about it.

[Courtney]

Oh, good.

[Amanda]

He seems cool. He seems sweet.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Cool cat. And one of my favorite things about him I used to do, I told him this, too. One of my favorite bits of random trivia, I always name two artists, and I'll say, who do you think has the most Grammys out of these artists? I'll be like, I'll just name two random people, like, you know, Britney Spears and Janet Jackson. Then it's like, oh, who has the most? And then I always do. The one that seems like an easy one is like, Weird Al and Jennifer Lopez.

[Amanda]

No, that. That doesn't seem easy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Who has more than Weird Al and Jennifer Lopez? Who has more Grammys?

[Amanda]

Jay?

[Shane]

I would have guessed Weird Al.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Weird Al has five Grammys.

[Amanda]

What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

JLo has zero.

[Courtney]

Wait, how did I not know that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Weird Al Yankovic has five Grammy Awards? He's one of the most Grammy Award winning comedians of all time. Oh, my God.

[Amanda]

Why did I think J. Lo had at least one?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Not even. I think she's been nominated maybe two or three times. Zero wins. Wow. Weird Al. Five of them things.

[Amanda]

Weird Al is so nostalgic to me because we all listen to it. We're all obsessed. His music videos were everything. Does he still have long hair?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Long hair?

[Amanda]

That's crimpy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Way long. I'm bald and considerably and considerably younger than Weird Al Yankovic, which feels like a curse, but he looks the exact same.

[Courtney]

Incredible.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I will show you a picture of Weird Al from last night. So, you know this was mad recent.

[Courtney]

We're gonna see the pic.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And he looks like the exact same.

[Shane]

He's like in his 60s, right? Am I wrong?

[Amanda]

Oh, he has not changed. You are psyched.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, so. So we'll put it on camera, right?

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You are so happy.

[Amanda]

It's like he slept in with, you know, braids. Like, he has, like two French braids. That's what his hair looks like. Yeah, it's like these beautiful curls. He looks exactly the same.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I don't know how he got there, but it was a really white night.

[Courtney]

No, that's amazing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But I got to meet Weird Al. You ever had Smash Mouth here?

[Shane]

Huh?

[Courtney]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You ever had smash Mouth hair?

[Courtney]

Well, he passed. He really didn't. Singer Smash Mouth.

[Amanda]

He did. He died not that long ago.

[Courtney]

Bob, I'm so sorry.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Jesus. I mean, I wasn't a huge fan, but I didn't know I was fucking asshole for some reason.

[Amanda]

I mean. No, no, it was part of our lives.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, my God. I mean, walking on the sun if you're a millennial.

[Shane]

Oh, yeah. It's huge.

[Amanda]

Smash Mouth. We were thinking about Smash Mouth. We were like, oh, Smash Mouth. And then he died.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I've been told that I have a really distinctive voice.

[Amanda]

You do.

[Courtney]

I think you do, yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But it's not easy to imitate, though.

[Amanda]

It's a little smoky and it, like, dips.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, Well, I do. I have a lot of peaks and valleys in my voice, but. But it's hard to imitate, but it is like, I feel like if you heard my voice behind you in, like, a Walgreens, you'd be like, is that Bob the Drag Queen? Yes.

[Courtney]

Yes.

[Shane]

Yeah, absolutely. I think so. Yeah.

[Courtney]

I love it. And if you don't know who Bob the Drag Queen is, somehow you are season eight, winner of RuPaul's Drag Race, and. But also many awesome projects after I've been on.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You may even know me from RuPaul's Dr. We're here. The Traitors. Cherry Pop, Tales of the city.

[Amanda]

Your own YouTube channel.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

My own YouTube channel.

[Courtney]

My podcast, Fortnite.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Fortnite. My podcast. Sibling Rivalry. I be in these streets.

[Courtney]

That's what's crazy is I feel like you've been able to dip into every type of art form almost at this point.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, the only thing I'm really super skilled at is stand up comedy.

[Courtney]

Yeah, I was gonna say being funny.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. And outside of that, I just really love doing a lot of things. I love to write music, I love to. I love to stream, I love to. I like to. The thing is, I actually. I never saw myself as, like, a reality TV contestant, although I've been on several rally TV shows. I've been on Last Coming Standing, I've been on America's Got Talent, I've been on RuPaul's Drag Race, and I competed on the Traitors.

[Amanda]

Yep.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes.

[Shane]

Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So I've actually done four competition shows. I've only won one of them.

[Amanda]

Listen, we can get into the Traders.

[Shane]

Though it's about winning.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Though it's about winning.

[Amanda]

There was issues there.

[Shane]

I think it's about being the most entertaining. And you were one of the most entertaining on trail.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Thank you. I was. People, people. There was a rumor online that was like, Bob actually had somewhere to be, so he made himself obvious. I was like, no, guys, I really wanted to win. I thought I was doing a great. I. I genuinely think my game was great. There's people online who said that I was, quote, unquote, the worst trader of all time.

[Amanda]

There are worse traders than you. And we know who they are, and we know it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, I. I was the first trader outed, but I. I got turned, like, when I was kicked off the show. Episode four of season three, which I think is the highest rated episode of the season, or is this the highest viewed episode of the season, that moment is the best. Like, at the time it aired, it was the most viewed episode of the Traitors of all time.

[Amanda]

Cause it's so good.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But I was actually doing pretty good going under the radar. Everyone at home's always like, it's so obvious. Yeah, you're doing a test with all the answers in front of you. You're literally sitting at home with all the answers. Like, how are they getting this wrong? Yeah, bitch. You're literally sitting at home. You know the answer to the test. The people in the capsule did not know that I was a traitor until someone who absolutely knew I was a traitor, because he' also a traitor. Made it obvious. But he knew. And there was one guy, Dylan Efron, who kept trying to come for me, but no one ever believed him.

[Amanda]

I saw.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I saw.

[Amanda]

That was hilarious. Like, your brother's not a good actor. I was like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The line was. The line was, I grew up with an actor. To which I say, well, not a good one. Yeah, Would you have nothing against Zac Efron? I just. I just wanted to.

[Courtney]

No, you're entertaining. Oh, man, it was so awesome watching that exit, because as it was happening, I felt like you wanted to fight and keep playing, but you also were like, this is incredible television.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Very proud of. I was very, very proud of my exit. I did want to give a little nugget to bring down Boston Rob. I thought to myself, if I'm not going to win, he sure as hell isn't going to win. And you know what? He didn't win. I think it was two episodes later.

[Shane]

Oh, he was free.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He messed up his game. Even he admitted on the reunion that he messed up his game by going for me.

[Shane]

Sure. We play games like that all the time here. Like, we play, like, werewolf and stuff.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You never invited me.

[Courtney]

I know.

[Shane]

If you want to play werewolf, you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Are busy, very busy woman.

[Shane]

You are busy, very busy woman. But watching you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But just so you know, when I play, like, mafia werewolf Blood on the Clock tower, I'm very confrontational.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Courtney]

So you're.

[Amanda]

Oh, but you need that. You need that. Because if you sit back too much, then all the heat's always going to be on you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

There's, like, a few people whenever we play werewolf who are like. And then, like, you are clearly.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're clearly a werewolf.

[Amanda]

You're clearly the werewolf. They're like, no, I'm not. And then they aren't. And you're like, why didn't you say anything?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I started doing a version called Witch Hunt where It's just. Cause I do it on my patreon with my patrons. We do it on zoom.

[Courtney]

Oh, fun.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And it's like, I just. I'm like, we are the town. I'm the mayor of the town. And then we gotta find these witches. Like, these witches are like, they're killing us at an alarming rate, and we have to find who the witches are. And then the witches meet in the cauldron. And then I'm also the headmistress of the witches as well. You kinda know this. And it's like, I don't make any gameplay. I just, you know, I'm just doing the bidding of my. My fellow witches. Your witch. And then I wake up in the morning, I'm like, good morning, everyone. We survived last night. What a great night. We actually called a witch, but we, like, we gotta get these witches out of our town. I love playing these games, and I would love to come over and be a participant.

[Shane]

You would be so good.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Did y'all see when Lizzo did it? I think with, like, Kai Sinette. Lizzo played Mafia with Kai Sinette. And, like, a fight broke out.

[Shane]

It can happen.

[Amanda]

Which over what?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I can't remember. But, like, Lizzo was like, this is crazy. She's like, I have to get out of here. This is. People.

[Courtney]

People go hard on those games because you. You have to, like, if you really want to commit. Especially it's like, because I hate being the werewolf. Or like, I just. I'm like, I want to just be a really good villager, but, like, in order. And it's also more entertaining that way, too, when you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

As we know, I will attack your family members. But.

[Shane]

But your. Your exit had me, like, watching, thinking, when we play the games, I'm like, I always get pissed, right? It's impossible to not get pissed if you care about the game. But I was learning so much watching people like you and Boston Rob of like, okay, here's how you be entertaining while you're doing it, though. Like, I think it's gonna shift my game after this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, well, sometimes. No shade to my fellow castmates on the trailer. But sometimes not being entertaining can really get you a long way. Like, I mean, like, Lord Ivor, I was.

[Courtney]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. I was mentioned in more episodes than Lord Ivar, and he won the show.

[Amanda]

Like, what's going on with Lord iv? She's like, hello, everybody. Good morning.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, well, I do believe the tea is rather cold today, and I was wondering if anyone had chamomile or girl beer. Like, we're all like. We're all like, I think Lorenda. He's like, hey, my dear, there's a chip in this cup.

[Amanda]

And I don't know.

[Shane]

He was like, I forgot he was there.

[Amanda]

And his speech at the end was like, you know, I'm always in so much drama. I just don't want drama. I'm like, you're on traitors.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

At one point, he was like, I don't have the ability to lie. And I was like, twitter, when you were straight for, like, 35 years.

[Amanda]

That's actually factual.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think you do have the ability to lie. Lord, I wrote.

[Amanda]

Yeah, that's factual.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I couldn't possibly tell an untruth. It would be that rather uncomfortable.

[Courtney]

I love every participating moment he'd have. He'd be like, I think it's a girl. It must be one of the girls.

[Amanda]

The girls. It will be a girl.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But at one point, he was like, well, we need rather strong men to sail in the boat to row. And I was like, no, shade. Are you a strong man?

[Amanda]

I couldn't handle that episode because I was like, stop sending these housewives to these fucking rafts where they're like, hey, when are we gonna get off?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You want strong men to stay? No shade, honey. But Nikki Garcia is a world championship hall of famer wrestler. Yeah. Gabby Wendy is a. Was a NFL cheerleader. And you are a man in his 60s. Yeah. Who is not in particularly great shape. So we need strong men.

[Amanda]

I couldn't. I felt like your season was very much like, it's gotta be the girls. The girls are the ones that were.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Saying it was two girls. To be fair.

[Courtney]

They were wrong.

[Amanda]

That is true. Okay, you know what? That is true, actually.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It was three girls. Three out of the five traitors were girls. So in their defense, that is fair. And I hate when they used to gender the knocks. They really used to like. They'd be like, that's a girl knock. That's the boy knock. I hated that.

[Amanda]

And it was always the opposite.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Whenever it was a big knock, they were like that big gorilla man that Bob has.

[Amanda]

And it's Britney. She's like.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They're like, that's gotta be the King Kong of the castle. Bob the Drag Queen. I was like.

[Shane]

This episode of Smoshmouth is brought to you by booking.com, the official accommodation partner of MLB. Booking.com booking.

[Amanda]

Yeah, Shane, it's spring.

[Shane]

You love sports and you love travel.

[Amanda]

Sure do. Do you know what I just found out?

[Shane]

What?

[Amanda]

Booking.com teamed up with MLB to be their official accommodation partner. You know what that means?

[Shane]

What?

[Amanda]

We can finally go on a trip together with booking.com's wide variety of stays. We can travel the US together. You can go to a baseball game and I can stay in a really fancy, nice, cozy home or a five star hotel and act like a rich lady for a day.

[Shane]

That sounds so fun.

[Amanda]

Yeah. Or I could go to a game with you because it's like a show, right? It's like show tunes, right?

[Shane]

What?

[Amanda]

Take me out of my small home Take me out on a trip Buy me room service and baseball hats I don't care if I ever get back Tell your wife it's easy to book online with booking.com it's a sleigh for it's nice to leave my bland home for and out of town stay.

[Shane]

Do you think musicals are the same as baseball games?

[Amanda]

Booking.com wants to help make you a fan of any US city with a chance to win $1,000 in Booking.com travel credit. Head to booking.com's Instagram page at booking.com and check out their sweepstakes post for more details. It is Showtunes.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Amanda]

Yeah. Cause there's so much music.

[Shane]

Oh, yeah. No, I mean, hey, I'm thoroughly entertained by both. By what I just did, by musicals and baseball games. What you did was great.

[Amanda]

That was a really good rendition of what I just did.

[Shane]

That was actually really good. Yeah, that was really cool. I couldn't do that.

[Amanda]

You can't.

[Shane]

Okay, well, now that you've said that, I'm going to.

[Amanda]

Cause you're not an artist like me.

[Shane]

Okay, well, we'll see about that.

[Amanda]

Okay, Waiting.

[Shane]

This episode of Smoshmouth is brought to you by booking.com, the official accommodation partner of MLB. Booking.com booking. Yeah. Anyways, back to the show.

[Amanda]

Also, your outfits were fucking incredible. They were incredible. And I. I don't know if you can reveal this, but did you guys all have wardrobe and everything on there?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Like, do you mean, do they provide it? What do you mean?

[Amanda]

Did they provide it? Or did you guys bring your own wardrobe too?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, we bring our own wardrobe. So I work with my stylist. Imagine if they gave me what they gave me and they just threw Lord Ivory sweaters. Imagine if they were like Bob the Drag Queen. A pink tuxedo with a pink kilt. Bob, do you like argyle? That's what I was wondering.

[Amanda]

I was like. Cause this isn't equal. This isn't.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Imagine they're like, they just have a bunch of caps Rob, you'll wear a backwards hat. Right. Which you love. And Lord Ivory. What? Khakis. I'm thinking now, Bob, think sequence.

[Courtney]

Yeah, no, I got.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, I provided my own. I provided my own. We provided. Well, actually, fun fact when we. When we arrived. Cuz, you know, they actually film in Scotland. It's not filming on like a sound stage here at LA that makes me happy. You're actually. They will fly you to Scotland. It's not. No shade to the Highlands. It's not a beautiful part of Scotland for me.

[Courtney]

For you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm not a nature girl. I'm. I'm a city girl. Okay. I like the city.

[Courtney]

We love Edinburgh. It's gorgeous.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And you are in like the. The high grass there. Is there every step of. They're like, watch out for tics. Every scene. Watch out for ticks. There are tics here.

[Amanda]

I was going to say tons of ticks. So you guys. Because you guys. Those were your own clothes. You guys were like, wrapped up. Sometimes I feel like you guys were.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Matching well on the challenge. They provide you with like, like sweatpants and sweater.

[Courtney]

Right. You have like, your competition.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. But also I brought my own too. So there were moments where I had, like, my own cute little sweatpants and stuff that I.

[Amanda]

That I know you look good all the time.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But they wouldn't let us all wear hoodies because then it's kind of hard to tell who's who.

[Shane]

Sure.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So if ever, if everyone has a hood and in the shots from the back, you can't tell who's who. But there were times where it was so cold, like, I need a hoodie. Like, it's so. So you have a sweater, but you can't wear a hoodie and I'm bald. I was like, if anyone needs to cover their head. There were a few of us who needed to cover our heads because it was just so fucking cold out there. But, yeah, we provided our own clothes.

[Shane]

Wow.

[Courtney]

What about makeup? Because since you do drag, did they have makeup artists there or did you choose to do it?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I didn't do any drag on the show. I did some makeup, but I did my own makeup there. And for the most part, I usually do my own makeup. Except for TV appearances. I have a makeup named Tyler Devlin, who does my makeup for, like, big, big gigs. But if I'm at, like a college gig or like a theater show and it's not being filmed, I usually do my own makeup. And I was like, baby, let me tell her now. I was like, honey, I am. Cause I'M not a diva, but I'm not not a diva. You know what I mean? I'm not like that. I'm not that chill. But I was like, oh, well, when they called up, I was like, well, let me tell you right now, honey, I'm not doing this show unless I can bring my stylist and my makeup artist, and you send that back to them and you tell them what I said. And they were like, no. And I was like, all right, I'll. Okay, cool.

[Courtney]

I think it never hurts to ask.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You know, I was demanding. They were like, no, we're good.

[Amanda]

They're like, no, we're good. You're like, fair. I'll be there. Yeah, Literally, I'll still be there, but.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'll be complaining the whole time.

[Courtney]

And that's fair. And you're valid in that you've done so many different types of reality shows. We were talking about, like, you've been in all types of what would be considered, like, uncomfortable conversations or situations. Is there, like, anything that's out of your comfort zone, Would you say at all? Cause I feel like you're so comfortable going into anything at this point.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I am uncomfortable, but I don't mind discomfort. I was talking to someone about me and my friend. I went through a real tattoo kick where I was getting. I got like. I have maybe, like, 16 tattoos, and I got them all, like, within, like, two years. I was, like, really into tattoos, and I have this one friend named Marty Gold Cummings. They were getting a tattoo on their ribs. These very painful spot touching their ribs, and they were like, really, like, putting on a show, like, really going on. And they kept being like, oh, my God, like, how do you, like, do this? And I was like, I. They're like, doesn't it hurt? I was like, yeah, it does hurt. It does hurt. To be clear, I am in pain, but I can really endure a lot. I can really suffer through, including with uncomfortable situations and awkward moments. I can really suffer through a lot of pain and awkwardness. And I also don't, like. I prefer the awkwardness of confrontation to the awkwardness of small talk.

[Amanda]

Oh, yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I really hate small talk.

[Amanda]

Is the death.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I hate small talk. I'm so bad at it when I'm at parties. I'm like, so, is your grandma dead or what?

[Amanda]

I actually appreciate that so much because I think I. I'm an extroverted person, but I get overwhelmed when I'm going to parties because I'm like, who am I gonna get in a corner with? And they're gonna ask me, like, what do you do?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I hate it. What do you do? They're like, what's your favorite color? I'm like, blue. My mom died last year. And also, there's this thing when you go to Hollywood parties. Y'all been to these Hollywood parties with, like, celebrities and influencers and stuff? Don't you lie to me. This is a very popular podcast. Okay.

[Shane]

A couple times.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There's no way I'm the most famous person you've met. Let's keep it a buck.

[Amanda]

I don't know.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm at this party, and when I was at, like, Madonna's. I've been to Madonna's Oscar party, like, three years in a row.

[Amanda]

Okay, well, you do win that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You've been there.

[Amanda]

You do win that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But we. When I'm at these parties, I'm really bad with faces and names. Especially, like, because I don't watch. I don't actually watch that much movies and television.

[Courtney]

I'm right there with you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I only really watch competition reality television. So if it's a reality TV show, like the Kardashians or any show, like Housewives, if they're not competing for something, I don't watch it. Not saying it's not good. Kardashians might be the best show in the world. I literally have no clue. I've never seen an episode of it. But I. And I don't. I just don't watch a lot of. Only TV show I watch is Severance.

[Shane]

Yeah, he's an assassin.

[Amanda]

Severance.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Currently, I also watch, like, Breaking Bad and then, like, Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Like, old shows as well. So I just don't watch none of tv. And when I'm at these parties and I meet people and I know they're famous because of how they look and how they're dressed, but I go up and I introduce myself, and because they're so famous, they don't. They think I know who they are. So I'm like, hi, my name is Bob. They're like, oh, hi. I'm like, okay. I'm a comedian, and I host the Madonna's tour. That's why I'm here. And they go, oh, that's so cool. I'm like, bitch, what's your fucking name?

[Amanda]

What do you do when. At a certain point of your fame, do you just stop introducing yourself?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think I found January Jones is one.

[Courtney]

Wow.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I met January Jones. I didn't know who she was.

[Amanda]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I was like. I was at a party with Charlize Theron. And I was like, oh, my God, I love your dress. This is such a cute dress. She's like, thank you. And I was like, what's your name? She was like, january. I said, oh, my God, I've never met anyone named Januario. That's such a cool name. How do you know Charlize? We work together. Oh, are you like, her lawyer? Her accountant? She was like, no, we just work together on stuff. I'm like, oh, okay, okay.

[Courtney]

Cards close to the twist, I guess.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm a comedian. I do this. She goes, oh, my God, that's amazing. And I was like. And I was like, okay, I guess I'm leaving now. And my boyfriend was like, that's January Jones.

[Amanda]

And I was like, Mad Men.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was like, who's January Jones? And he was like, she's a famous actor.

[Amanda]

I will say, though, that name doesn't come up a lot. Like, I feel like if you were to say January Jones. Cause it took me a second. I was like, january Jones. Oh, yeah. Mad Men.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Or they do this thing where they act really modest. And I really. I don't mind it. Like, I met someone the other day. They were fans of mine, but they're more famous than me. But they were fans of me, but I just didn't know who they were. And I can't even remember their names. But they came up to me and they were like, oh, my God, Bob, we love you. I was like, oh, my God, thank you. What are your names? They told me their names. I've already forgotten. But I was like, what do you guys do? And they were like, oh, we're just small actors. No one cares about us. We're just like shitty little Hollywood actors. Oh, no, they're an Oscar.

[Shane]

Oh, we're nothing.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Anyway, they were on Euphoria.

[Courtney]

Oh, wow.

[Amanda]

I love Euphoria.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I was like, come on, man.

[Amanda]

Imposter syndrome.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, again, I didn't watch Euphoria, but I've heard it's a really great show. Once I was at this other party. Okay, I'll move on to a party. And you know Law Roach. He's a stylist.

[Amanda]

I love love Roach.

[Shane]

Several people in the room were just like, zendaya.

[Amanda]

He's Zendaya's main stylist. And he was on.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

What's that Company.

[Shane]

Legendary Zendaya from Euphoria.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

This is a Zendaya story. Is it Zendaya? Zendaya.

[Courtney]

It's Zendaya.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Zendaya.

[Amanda]

Zendaya.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So I was at the party, by the way, y'all, this is. I need to make it clear to anyone listening or watching, this is not about Zendaya. This is not shade to Zendaya. I'm just stating facts. This is no critique of Ms. Daya. Okay? So we were at the party, and Zendaya had just won an Emmy. It was an Emmy party. It was the HBO Emmy party. I used to be on an HBO show for three seasons, and I saw La Roach. I was like, oh, my God, La Roach. Like, hey, girl. We were just chit chatting. He goes, oh, my God, do you want to meet Zendaya? She had this giant line, a huge line of other celebrities who are literally waiting to congratulate her on her Emmy. And it was maybe like 15 people.

[Amanda]

That's a lot.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She's just standing there holding an Emmy. I don't know if y'all, the Emmy might be the biggest award out of all, besides maybe Dancing with the Stars. It's a gigantic award, and she's holding it, and there's these people lining up. And he goes, you wanna meet Zendaya? And I was like, I'm good. And he was like, you don't meet Zendaya. I was like, well, the truth is, I don't watch any shows she's on. I don't watch any movies. I've watched Greatest Showman, and I watched the Spider man movie she was in. And I feel like there are people who just want to meet her a lot more than I do.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Who would have something of substance to say. And I would just be like, hi, my name's Bob. It's a pleasure to meet you.

[Amanda]

Goodbye.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Congratulations. But obviously, congrats on all her work. But the truth is, I don't watch Euphoria.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And it's because I don't think I'm interested in watching a TV show about high schoolers fucking and doing drugs.

[Amanda]

It's a lot of drugs.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The show is obviously very brilliant based on the reviews and the awards it's receiving, but I think I'm a little long in the tooth to be watching.

[Amanda]

I have never heard that phrase, long in the tooth. Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh. Horses have. The only way to tell how old a horse is by how long the teeth are. Because they kind of. They kind of. Horses are like weird owls. Horses don't age.

[Amanda]

Back to Weird Al.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, Like Weird Al. Horses don't age visibly unless you look at their teeth. So you ever heard also the expression, never looked a gift horse in the mouth?

[Amanda]

No.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So that expression is because if you get a horse as a gift and you're like, how old is this horse? Let me look at its teeth.

[Amanda]

Oh, okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So like if someone gives you a horse, just take it. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth.

[Amanda]

Got it. Just take the horse and say thank you.

[Courtney]

I never, I always thought that was just like, you're gonna get bitten in the face.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. So anyway, so good. So I never, I never watched Riverdale or any shows about high schoolers.

[Amanda]

They still pass.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Since I was like 23 or 24 maybe.

[Amanda]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And so I just never. I mean, I'm sure Euphoria is great. I just never watched it. This is not a dig at Euphoria or Zendaya, but I was just like, I'm just gonna let other people who really wanna meet her. It's nice to see her from a corner. Cause she's quite stunning and incredibly talented. I didn't wanna take up her time.

[Courtney]

You know, I see that.

[Shane]

But the Weird Al Yankovic walks by.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I really wanted to meet her.

[Amanda]

Well, that's like your. I don't know if it's your childhood, but like that matters.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, for sure. When I found out that Some More the comedian Some More follows me on Instagram, baby, I was. If I saw like Zendaya and Samor together, I'd be like, oh my God, I'm gonna go over to some more. Cause I love her comedy. If I see Adele Givens, these are the people that you know. I really love funny people. When people ask who's your diva? For me everyone's like, you know, Gaga, Beyonce. I have a giant tattoo of Whoopi Goldberg on my arm. Oh my God. I have another tattoo of Carol Channing on my other arm.

[Shane]

Nice.

[Amanda]

These are so good.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I love funny people.

[Shane]

Yeah, nice.

[Amanda]

Whoopi Goldberg is incredible. Her at the Oscars, I was like, woo.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She's amazing.

[Amanda]

She looks stunning.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You don't gotta tell me.

[Courtney]

I relate to that. Wanting to talk to a specific person. Cause there was a while where I was going to a bunch of. And I went to. There was one, it was Jennifer Lopez starring in it and Ben Affleck was starring.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Three time Grammy loser Jennifer Lopez.

[Shane]

Her official title, her God given name.

[Courtney]

But at the after party I saw the guy who plays Uncle Rico in Napoleon Dynamite.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Gang, gang.

[Courtney]

And I was like, I have to say hello.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Be like J. Lo, move.

[Amanda]

Get out of the way.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm talking to the guy who plays Uncle Rico.

[Shane]

So we're talking about all these things you've done. I mean, you are such a busy person. I feel like you're doing something every day in the span of all this. And the reason you're here is you wrote a book.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I wrote a book.

[Amanda]

I hope you rest.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'll rest when I'm dead.

[Shane]

Okay, great.

[Courtney]

And it's not just like any book. It's not a book about your life. It's a novel. It's a story.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. So I was filming season one, episode one of We're Here. I was in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. My manager called me and was like, hey, we have a book deal offer for you. And I talked to them about it, and they were like, we want you to write a memoir. And I said to them, and everyone thinks I'm being modest. Everyone knows me, knows I am not. I'm not modest. I'm not a modest person. That being said, I don't think my life is interesting enough to write a book about. And that is because I don't really do anything crazy. I really. I write jokes, I podcast, and then I go home and I go to sleep.

[Shane]

Like, your whole life is on campus.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's already on camera.

[Courtney]

People can watch.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's all like, I'm not really doing any. I don't do drugs. I don't drink. I've been sober for 16 years.

[Amanda]

That's incredible.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I met. Thank you. I've met some really interesting people, but everyone's like, oh, my God, you worked with Madonna. I'm like, yeah, I did. But, like, I met Madonna when she was 64 years old and she was a mother of six. Like, what do you think we're doing? Like, lines of coke?

[Amanda]

No, no, you're hanging out in the living room.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We were, like, singing our songs, doing our dance, and then we would go back to our. I would go back to my hotel room. She would go back to her palatial mansion, and then we would meet back up tomorrow and do the same thing again. We weren't doing anything crazy. You know what I mean? And the stories are, like, kind of interesting. But when you listen or read to, like, Viola Davis autobiography or, like, Tina Turner's movie or, like, these, like, those are autobiographies. My story's just not. It's not that interesting. I live a pretty boring life. So I said, I don't wanna write a book. I say, I wouldn't read that book. I don't wanna write a book. I wouldn't read. Yeah. I wouldn't even pick up that book. I wouldn't even glance at that book. So I don't wanna Write that book. But I do love. I do love historical fiction. I had just finished reading the Good Lord Bird by, I think, James McBride, and it's a historical fiction piece about John Brown, the abolitionist.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And he kidnaps this formerly enslaved kid, and he mistakes him for a girl. And this little boy has to live as a girl for years.

[Shane]

Whoa.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

For years, afraid that John Brown will find out that he's a boy. John Brown was really religious. He didn't want anything weird to happen. So he was like, yeah. And John Brown carried guns. He shot people, like, all the time. So he was just like, okay, I'm a girl. I'm a girl, and my name's Onion. That's who I am.

[Amanda]

What?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The book is really ridiculous. It got turned into a Showtime show with Ethan Hawke and Daveed Diggs, and I just loved that book so much. It was just such a good book. I love reading about and finding out more and more information about Harriet Tubman. And I was torn between this and another book idea that I had. And I'd already been working on this as a play. Oh, cool. Okay.

[Courtney]

I was already working on this.

[Amanda]

I could see this as a play.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I actually have some original music that I really, actually want you all to listen to.

[Courtney]

Wait, really?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. I really want you to listen to. Even if we take a break and you listen, we come back and you are just all gushing over how brilliant I am as a musician.

[Amanda]

I would love to.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

As well as an author. But it was torn between this and this other book I did that I had and had already been working on this IP for the play. And I was like, I'm just gonna turn this into a book.

[Amanda]

Are you still gonna possibly turn it into a play?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

100%. 100%.

[Amanda]

I love that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It has been, like, eight years in the making, this play. Wow. The book took me four years to write, which I'm very embarrassed about, because it's not a. No.

[Amanda]

There's a lot of research in it.

[Courtney]

What's the average time of a book being written?

[Shane]

Books take a long time. I feel like I never hear. Cause I love books, I love reading, and I love authors. And are you, like, a physical book.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Or you're like a Kindle physical book?

[Amanda]

I like physical.

[Shane]

I have to read a physical book. I know the book. When we were planning for this podcast, the book wasn't released yet.

[Amanda]

No.

[Shane]

And I was like, oh, man. Like, okay, I'll read it on, like, my phone. Send a code or something to read it. And I was, like, bummed about that. And then there was a physical copy. I was like, sweet. And I read it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So did we send you guys this, or did you guys, like. We sent it over. Yeah.

[Shane]

That was so fun.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

There are some Barnes and Noble that released it early. People were like, it happens.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

People are like, I have your book. I was like, what? How did you get my book? You, like, hacked the mainframe. They got, like, Wade and Kim Boswell in there hacking the mainframe.

[Courtney]

I am just jealous of everybody who gets to hear you read it to them.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, I mean. Well, that could be all of you, because there's an audiobook. I recorded the audiobook. And the audiobook actually does have two original songs in it.

[Courtney]

That's what I was wondering.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That. I'm so proud of.

[Shane]

Are they the ones at the end?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Amanda]

Yes. Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And let y'all know, like. So I've read books in my day. I don't read a ton of books. I read maybe, like, one to two books a year more than most, which is especially more than most men. Actually, on average, women read, like, six books a year. And men, on average read, like, one a year.

[Shane]

Zero. I mean, that's why I think, like, most people.

[Amanda]

Not Shane, though. Shane reads a book, like, a week.

[Shane]

I love books.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's insane.

[Shane]

Love him. I read this in a day. I was. I was hooked.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I did also read because I don't write. Like, I'm not like, ew, here for yonder does that with a break upon the dewy sky. Like, I write the way I speak. So you can almost hear my voice when you just read it. Absolutely. And doing an audiobook. Have any of y'all ever read an audiobook professionally?

[Courtney]

Like, no, that's not.

[Amanda]

I've read excerpts, and it is not easy, y'all. It is hard.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Reading a book is one thing to yourself because you don't realize when you're reading, you're actually often skipping words. You're piecing sentence together. Your brain just kind of corrects it as it goes. Reading a book out loud, you feel like you're going crazy. Words stop meaning things. Have you ever been driving and then you realize you're on the wrong side of the 15 minutes you're just driving through a McDonald's? No. Have you ever been driving and you were like, oh, my God, I'm driving. Yeah, I'm driving. I've been driving for 15 minutes. What's going on? That's what it feels like when you're reading. You're like, I've been reading for 40 pages. Where did I go? And then it was also really emotional, too, because from the time that I started writing the book to the time I finished the audiobook, it had been five years. I've gotta say, the last chapter of this book in the audiobook might be inaudible. I was crying, so I was, like, bawling. Cause I was like, I can't believe I just wrote a book. I cannot believe I actually wrote. And I finished, it's done. There's nothing else to do with this book besides promote it and beg people to buy it.

[Amanda]

And the end chapter brings it all together so much. Even I was reading it, and I read it in a day and was feeling. And when you read it in a day, you're so connected to it. And I can't imagine five years. But, like, reading the end, you were just like. It was like you were on a fucking roller coaster, like, going up, and you're like, yes, here it comes. Here it comes. And I love the themes that you tied together with it. Like, I just. And I also was like, harriet Tubman is a real person out there today, right now.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Right?

[Amanda]

I was like, I'm gonna find her.

[Shane]

She exists.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I wrote the book to mimic what I imagined a journey to freedom on the Underground Railroad would be like. You know, it starts with the desire to go, and then the courage to take the first steps, and then the dangers on the journey, and then in the end, freedom. And I wrote the book to mimic that. So the book is about Harriet Tubman coming back to life.

[Amanda]

The return.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, she's returned. It's the return. A lot of people are coming back to life. Not just Harriet Tubman. A lot of people are coming back to life. Cleopatra is back. Abraham Lincoln is back. Frederick Douglass is back. Emily Dickinson is back, although I didn't mention her in the book, but she is back.

[Shane]

Just know that that's lore. That's canon.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. And in Herod's Return, she wants to continue her work as an abolitionist. But it means. But freedom is. Freedom is. The goalpost for. Freedom has shifted now. And now she wants to continue her work by writing a hip hop album. She'll see. Elicits the help of a former hip hop producer who's, like, pretty acclaimed with a Grammy Award and some BET Awards and stuff, but he's kind of out of the business for a while, but she wants him specifically to help her write this album. And he shows up, and he's also a big Harriet Tubman fan. So he shows up to help her write this album, and Then on the journey, he realized that he has a journey toward freedom as well that she helps him with.

[Amanda]

Do you see yourself in Darnell? Did you see yourself in him?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So when I started the play, I was Harrod Tubman. When I wrote I was gonna play Harrod Tubman. Amazing because initially when I started to play, it was actually a concert. Kind of imagine Hedwig or Altar Boys or a Lady Dead. Emerson Bar and Grill, one of those where you go in and you're actually at a concert. That was the initial concept for the play. I tried to write that as a book. It was too hard for me, especially for my freshman novel. It'd be very hard to write that kind of book for me personally. So then I decided to make it about the creation of the album. So I created the character Darnell, and Darnell is very, very loosely based on me. Darnell is much nicer than I am. He's much more meek than I am. He is a version of me that probably I strive to be, but I'm.

[Amanda]

A little piece of shit.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. But I'm a bit of an abrasive Brillo Patty type.

[Amanda]

That's why we like you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I'm more of a scrub daddy.

[Amanda]

Love scrub Daddy.

[Shane]

Because, like so much of the book is the main character. Darnell is a very fearful character. I feel like he's very nervous. Whereas you write Harriet Tubman, as I'm sure she was completely fearless just not second guessing herself for a second.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, you can second guess yourself in these scenarios. And she also demands that of the people around her, she famously carried the blicky. You know, she was carrying Harriet carries the Blicky Tubman. And if you tried to turn back, she would, you know, if you turned around, you know, she would be like, you know, gun in your face. If you take a step back, that would be the last step you ever take. And that's not because she was just, like, such a badass. It's because if you turn back, you endanger everyone who's gone before you and anyone who wants to come after you. You know what I mean? So when you're on this journey, you have to have bravery beyond your own capacity even. And that's what I. So I tried to reimagine. So obviously I'm imagining Harriet Tubman. This is. For all I know, Harriet Tubman might think this is the best book in the world. She might think it's a horrible book. I have no clue.

[Amanda]

She will read it, though.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She will.

[Amanda]

She's out in the World.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She's out and she's back.

[Amanda]

She's out in the world.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So, you know, I had to re imagine Harriet Tubman while also wanting her to be able to be human and not just this idol. Cause I always say Harriet Tubman is America's first black superhero. Like, she literally had superpowers. Like, I don't know if you guys know this, but she had like precognition. Like she could, like she would have these fainting spells you read in the book. Yeah, she had like a trauma induced brain injury where she would pass out. Not faint, like pass out. Yeah, like she wouldn't be like.

[Courtney]

Like out cold.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No. Like body splayed like, you know how. How Peter Griffin. Yeah, the famous knockout. Broken for like hours at a time. But when she come to, she would have these visions that God would send her. I'm not religious, but, you know, obviously the book has a lot of my religious trauma in it too. And to her credit, she took about a dozen trips back and forth and was never caught. One time.

[Shane]

That is insane. Which is wild.

[Amanda]

Insane.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And the trips got further and further. It started going from Maryland to Pennsylvania, but then they passed the Fugitive Slave act, which means that any person who is free, who used to be enslaved, you are now a fugitive and you must be returned back to the people who technically own you. So then they started going all the way to Canada. These children.

[Amanda]

Outrageous.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And she did all of this in her, like, late 20s, early 30s. She was roughly 5ft tall, she was disabled. She couldn't read, she could not write. But despite all of that, she was able to just do it over and over again.

[Shane]

An unbelievable fact that I feel like isn't talked about enough in general, just in like, education and stuff, is that she was the first woman to lead a military operation.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And with Trump's new DEI initiatives, it'll probably be another at least four years for even get a chance to think about that. Of course, real. Everyone says she freed a thousand slaves. That's actually. It's actually probably close between 600 and 800. But a lot of people don't realize that, like most of those were on the same day. Wow. That was during the Combahee river raids where they went from. They went to three plantations. So she had this plan. So they elicited her help because she knew the back roads and the woods better than anyone. No one knew the swamps and the woods better than Harriet Tubman did. So she came up with this plan, this brilliant plan to go. She got some Union soldiers and some formerly Enslaved people who had already been freed and who were working for the military to go to a plantation, free all the enslaved people there, and then give those enslaved people the opportunity to join them and raid the next plantation. Whoa. And then they went to the second plantation with more than double the people. Free all of those enslaved people. Okay. Khaleesi, right?

[Amanda]

She's just building and building and building.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then she gave them the opportunity to join them to raid the third plantation.

[Amanda]

Damn.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

All down the Combahee River. Raid. Yeah.

[Courtney]

Wow.

[Amanda]

You know what I love so much, too? And I was thinking. I was like, is this spoiler? No, no, it's fine. Spoiler alert. Spoiler alert. I loved so much towards the end of the book when she was like, I just. I didn't deserve to be a slave. Like, I didn't want this. I knew. I fought for it because I knew I deserved freedom.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Can I play a song for you? Yes, please do it.

[Courtney]

Oh, my God.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm so honored. So I want to give you. This is what I want you to be in. I want you to hear about this part of the song. So in the book, Harriet Tubman talks about the first time. This is like, an account. All of Harriet Tubman's stories are just, like, secondhand, because she couldn't read, she couldn't write. So we don't know for sure what Harriet Tubman said or did. But there are lots of historians who corroborate a lot of these things, this narrative. Right? So Harriet Tubman, her youngest brother, his name is Moses, which actually became one of her nicknames later in life. And her name is actually Araminta. And then she took Harriet as her mother's name.

[Amanda]

Oh, that's why. Minty.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Minty. Yeah. Araminti. She was actually called Minty. That was actually her nickname. And then when she got to freedom, she changed her name to Harriet, which is her mother's name. So she saw her mother, Harriet, a lot of her children had been taken away and sold to other plantations. It was quite common to break up these families. And when her youngest child, maybe Harriet Tubman's mom, knew this would be her last child. I don't know. Or maybe she just was sick and tired of being sick and tired. But when Moses was born, she was like, they're not taking this. They're not going to take my child away. Not this time. I cannot have any more of my children taken away from me. So they would get wind that a slaver would come to look at Moses to see if they wanted to have him. And then when Rhodey gave back, they would hide him in the woods. They would hide him in other cabins. They would just move him around so they couldn't find him. Well, one time, they just caught. They just caught her off guard. Harriet, as in Harriet Tubman's mother. Harriet had been caught off guard, and then next thing she knows, she looks up, and Brodus, the slave owner, was standing there with another slaver who was trying to buy her child and sell him downstream. So you don't want to be. You don't want to move further into the south because it gets stricter and stricter and harder and harder. It was a man from Georgia. Georgia and Mississippi were known to have some the harshest slavers in the Confederacy. You really don't want your kid to go to Georgia. So she's caught at her front door, and she sees these two men, and she had this, like, club in their slave quarters that they would use for protection. And she just picked it up, and they're standing at the door, and then she says, allegedly, quote, anyone who sets foot in this house, I will crack your skull wide open. Incredible. So everyone's freezing. Cause they're like, oh, my God. You can't do that. First of all, women can't threaten men. Not in the 1800s. Also, black people can't threaten white people. So a black woman certainly cannot threaten two white men. One of them who legally owns you, and the other one who's looking to purchase your child. But for some reason, they just left. They just said, okay. They turned around, and they just left. And she got to keep her child. So this was a huge moment for Harriet Tubman when she realized, like, oh, now I might see that there are other options out there.

[Amanda]

Yep.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So now that you have that in mind, I wrote this song about Harriet Tubman telling that story and how it impacted her, the way that she sees herself and her options. All right. This is the best song I've ever written. I'm so proud of the song.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She was standing in the doorway her sweat like rain the epiphany of her daughter helped her mass campaign she was a woman that her within she finally awoken My mama might have been bit but she could never be broken she had a dance with the devil and mama got the upper hand and finally it's something I could truly understand.

[Courtney]

Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Thank you.

[Amanda]

That was gorgeous.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Incredible.

[Amanda]

I'm so glad you played it, because when you're thinking about it, you don't have the music, but it's gorgeous.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

The singing that's why I'm excited. Like, in. In the audiobook, the. The. The songs will cut in, like, just. They're not. They're not. They're not at the end. They're actually. They're put into the. Into this. There's only two songs, but they're put in. In, like, the appropriate place were written. So, again, I'm just like, I'm so proud of this. It's a huge departure for me. It's not as slapstick and silly as some stuff I've done. There is humor in it because the concept itself is absurd. Sure, right. The idea is absurd. And there is certainly comedy, because there's a bit of comedy in every single thing I do. I don't think I can do anything. I mean, when my mom passed away, a friend of mine, Zach Noy Towers, called me, and he was like. He and I, we kind of, like, jab each other all the time, back and forth. And he was just, you know, he was really being sincere, and he was like, if there's anything I can do for you, let me know. And I was like, there is something you could do. Please quit comedy. Like, even in those moments. So there's always gonna be a bit of humor in every single thing I do, every single time. But that being said, I want people to know, like, this book is not. It's not written. It's not an SNL sketch. No. You know what I mean? No, there are fun moments, but it's also not trauma porn. It's not like the Color Purple, which, by the way, is literally my favorite book of all time. But it's not like Roots or. It's not. It's not like a. There's no, like, stories of, like, lashings. All this stuff, it is. It happens today. It's happening current time. So when you read this book, just know that. Don't expect, like, you know, like, a lot of people say, like, jokingly ask me, there was a drag queen named Simone who played the Harriet Tubman on RuPaul's Drag Race for Snatch Game. Like, it's not Snatch Game. It's not Simone as Harriet Tubman. It's not. But also it's not, like, as intense as, like, you know, LeVar Burton playing Kunta Kinte. But there's somewhere. It's somewhere in the middle, right? Yeah.

[Amanda]

It's not slice of life, but it's still, like, this is happening right now in this moment. If you could imagine Harriet Tubman coming back now to a hip hop producer and is like, I want you to do an album that made me laugh.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Just in general, that concept is funny. Yeah.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

And she's just standing there with her coffee, and I'm just like, this just makes me laugh.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Writing the way Harriet Tubman drinks coffee is actually one of my favorite.

[Courtney]

No, she keeps blowing on her coffee in between sentences. I truly. I felt that when I was reading it. I'm like. It was the way you used dialogue and how I'm like. I'm reading stuff that is really dark history. Like, really tough stories that happen to real people. But the way you tell it is like. I feel like it was such a breezy read, and I felt like I was learning so much in a casual way. It felt like your friend was telling you this story.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, the truth is, we have been so desensitized to the trauma of black people in America. I remember it just kind of dawned on me one day. So I'm from Atlanta, and we probably take Black History Month a little more seriously than other places do. Atlanta is a very black city, and Georgia has a very dark history with racism and chattel slavery. The KKK had one of their first meetings right outside Atlanta, a place called Stone Mountain. So we have a lot of history with racism and, you know, a very troubled past. So we take it pretty intensely there. And then I just. One day, I was just. I got so used to hearing these stories and seeing these things and then seeing, you know, black bodies mutilated and beaten and hanged in my books that I just. It kind of just became like, yeah, this is what I see in my books. And I was listening to this American Life, which is my favorite podcast, actually.

[Amanda]

I love that podcast.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Next. The Smosh Mouth. Very good. They're a similar category. You know, there was this story about this school here in LA that went on a field trip to go see Schindler's List. It was a black high school. They went to go see Schindler's List. And it's a pretty heavy movie for high schoolers to watch. And obviously, you know, kids get really uncomfortable with situations like that. And they laughed at one point during the movie. This group of black kids laughed during this point in the movie. And it was like someone fell in a way that was slow. Like, that was like they were uncomfortable, and they responded by laughing. And then other patrons in the movie theater were upset. And then somehow this high school full of black kids had been labeled anti Semitic.

[Amanda]

Oh, okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And it became. It became a massive story. I don't know if any of you remember this it was so big that Arnold Schwarzenegger, who was the governor at the time, came to the high school to have a chat. It was so big that Steven Spielberg, who directed the movie, came to the school to have a chat about antisemitism to these high school kids. It was a massive, massive story.

[Courtney]

I feel like I remember hearing that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then at one point, one of the kids stood up and was like, well, when are we gonna get to hear our story? When are we gonna get to hear our story? Who's gonna write our story? And oddly enough, a few years later, Steven Spielberg directed Amistad. And he was like, well, I guess your story should be heard. I don't know that he was the one who should have been telling it, but.

[Amanda]

Right, exactly.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But, I mean, Steven Spielberg love telling.

[Amanda]

The guy was there.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, he loves telling black stories. He directed Color Purple.

[Courtney]

Right.

[Amanda]

That's insane to me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, Steven Spielberg directed Color Purple. But I will say it's a brilliant film. That being said, it's a really brilliant film. So it's just like, you know, hearing these stories and being desensitized to them, especially where I came from, and then seeing it juxtaposed to people who are like, I don't hear a lot of our stories was really, really was really interesting to me. And I did not want this to be Amistad. I didn't want this to be Schindler's List. I didn't want this to be. Because those stories are great and they're brilliant and they're told. I wanted it to be an opportunity for people to learn about Harrod Tubman, my favorite veteran of all. Do we have veterans that we love? My favorite veteran. Do we have, like, veteran trading cards? Harrod Tubman, who is like. And also that so many Americans have to directly to thank for a lot of the liberties that they have today, particularly black people and women have. So sorry that you're not included in this one. Yeah, okay.

[Amanda]

He's fine.

[Shane]

I think I'll be all right.

[Amanda]

He can handle this. You can handle it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Have so much to thank Harry Tubman iv. You know, I go on tangents, so I'm enjoying it. I was in Selma, Alabama, doing an episode of We're Here, and I had this really, like, this, like, survivor guilt moment that was, like, fucking with me. I was like, I broke down. I started crying so bad. It's all on camera. I was sitting with foot soldiers from the Edmund Pettus Bridge on Bloody Sunday who actually were actually there and this. And then I was in that this room. It's like this experience that you have in this place in some Alabama where you go through a slave ship. Like, they. They built this space to emulate what it's like to be on a slave ship, do crossing, doing the transatlantic slave trade. So I had that guilt of being like, my God, like, someone had to go through so much that I could be here today. And they. And. And a lot of these people were not choosing to go. It's not like people are like, I'm marching. They were just like, you know, I'm just doing my thing and I'm. And I've been snatched off the west coast of Africa. And then talking to this one woman who was telling a story about how she had been beaten on the Edmund Pettus Bridge. And at one point, she was kicked so hard by this cop that she was airborne. Like, he kicked her literally into the air. This man kicked her when she was like, 19 or 18 years old. And then she was saying that she had seen footage of it that she had never seen before. Like, she was, like, almost 70. She had never seen this footage once in her life. And it made her quite emotional. So then I became quite emotional, and I had this, like, guilt of, like. I mean, the long and short of it is like someone went through all these things, and here I am telling dick jokes. But the truth is, you know, people fall for these rights so that I can sit here and tell dick jokes. And I know that sounds absurd.

[Amanda]

No, that's what you wrote in your book.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

To have the freedom to tell my fucking dick jokes. You know what I mean?

[Amanda]

Exactly.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

To tell my fart jokes. You know what I mean? And also to pave a path for people down the line to do whatever it is they want to do, whether it is, you know, if they want to march, if they want to write, if they want to sing, if they want to be lawyers, if they want to be couch potatoes, you know, just to have the rights to be able to do that.

[Courtney]

Yeah, I feel like that really comes through in the story. And, like, I totally see where you're coming from and how you wanted to write it, because as an entertainer, like, you naturally are an escape for people to, like, just laugh. And so I totally. I felt that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I love to laugh. It's my favorite.

[Amanda]

Wait, really?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I love. It's so fun.

[Amanda]

I don't enjoy it. Not for me.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I hate laughing.

[Amanda]

Not for me.

[Shane]

I was really amazed in. Because it's roughly, like 220 pages, how much you packed into it, because I felt like I learned so much in it. And something that I. I thought was amazing that you talked about is I think when we talk about this history, we go like, well, that was how it was back then. Like, everybody, like, agreed, but you talk about all the people who were actively fighting against it for so long that we kind of dismiss. And then it all gets kind of brought to, like, Abraham Lincoln. And it's like, oh, Abraham Lincoln did this. And it's like, I loved your take on Abraham Lincoln. So many people.

[Amanda]

I loved your hot take on every.

[Courtney]

I was like, it's not that hot of a take.

[Amanda]

I mean, Abraham Lincoln.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, I guess that's a super hot take. Abraham Lincoln was not an abolitionist. A lot of people think that Abraham Lincoln was an abolitionist. Abraham Lincoln wanted to punish the south. And he was like, well, hit them where it hurts, right in their pockets. Take away their free labor. Actually, I don't know if you. I'm pretty sure this in the book, you know, Abraham's Lincoln idea to end racism was like, just get rid of black people.

[Amanda]

Yeah, push them.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

He's like, just send them somewhere else.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He's like, if you get rid of black people, no one will be racist.

[Shane]

What a good solution.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Which is crazy. And I believe it was Frederick Douglass who was like, no, no.

[Amanda]

I also love Frederick Dougl Douglas. That's. I love the way that you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Between Frederick Douglass and Harriet Tubman.

[Amanda]

I enjoyed that. And then he's there at the end, just like sitting there.

[Courtney]

And then. Do you. Okay, we can maybe not put this in if it's a spoiler on the story or not, but do you like to think of, like, there was some kind of chemistry between Harriet Tubman and James Brown was the.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, no. Harriet Tubman was a very faithful woman to her husband. She had two husbands. You know, one of her husband, she left because he didn't. He didn't. He didn't. He wasn't prepared to take the journey in the way that she was prepared to take the journey. So she remarried. So Harriet Tubman is a very, very faithful woman. And John Brown is a man of extreme faith as well. John Brown, he don't. He would never in a million years. But they did have a lot of reverence for each other. You know, I have friends that I have talent crushes on. You know what I mean? Ocean Kelly is a friend of mine that I have. He's my drag daughter, actually. Kevin Antunes, who actually, we all wrote those songs together, actually. You know, I have Mikey Angelo, another friend of Mine I have, like, talent crushes on. I think that John Brown and Harriet Tubman had a talent crush. Like, a talent crush, like, for their, you know, their penchant for freedom and abolition. That's awesome, because they did it in very different ways. So if y'all don't know John Brown. John Brown is one of the craziest abolitionists in the history of America. He would straight up ask you, are you pro slavery or are you free state? And if you gave the wrong answer, those might literally be the last one.

[Shane]

He might kill you right there.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I mean, literally. He would kill you then and there on the spot. He was absolutely insane. And he felt like he was convicted by God. You can't. When someone feels like, I have divine on my side, there's nothing you can do. I have a divine right. What are you earthly beings gonna do to me? I mean, he famously once took a judge from his home in the middle of the night and murdered him in a field for judging against slaves. Like, this man did not play games. He was the first Luigi Mangione.

[Amanda]

But he wasn't as cute. He wasn't. Because your description of him, I was like, woo.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

John Brown was no shade an ugly man.

[Courtney]

I can't believe I said James Brown.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Brown.

[Shane]

It's okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's okay.

[Shane]

But you managed to talk about all of these historical figures. Not all of them appear in the book, but you just talk about them. And I love how detailed and so humanized these historical figures. Because sometimes when we read history, it's just like a page on a book and we kind of remove all the human parts of these people. And I felt like you painted such a beautiful picture of all of them.

[Amanda]

Yeah. I was like, harriet Tubman, she's an older woman who lives. And I was like, what am I saying now?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Harriet Tubman, when she was doing what she was doing, she was very, very young. Now, obviously, there are not a lot of pictures of Harriet Tubman when she was very young, because when she was doing what she was doing, she had to operate in secret. So Harriet Tubman didn't become known until well after. It was imperative that no one know who Harriet Tubman is for her to be able to do the work that she was doing.

[Shane]

Yeah. I mean, even in the book, she's stating how people didn't know if she was a woman or people didn't even. She was kind of a myth.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

People thought she was like a ghost.

[Shane]

Which is kind of epic.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Oh, Harriet Tubman is more major than major. Like, she's she's insanely smart. She was incredibly. She had her ingenuity. Just her. Her social skills, her leadership skills were off the charts unmatched. She's. She will go down unmatched for a very long time, for sure.

[Courtney]

Hell, yeah. Absolutely. So you're saying this could still be a play one day?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Fingers crossed. It will be able to play Darnell.

[Courtney]

I think so. And then would you still want to play Harriet Tubman?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No. So I see myself as Darnell now. When I wrote this character, I see myself as Darnell also. It is important to me physically that Harriet Tubman be a very tiny woman, because it really shows the. It shows the intensity of this tiny look. Cause she is. She was a very small lady. And I make it a point to illustrate how small she is in the book, because it goes to show how much power she was able to wield, you know, Men in Black. Are you familiar with Men in Black?

[Amanda]

Of course, yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Remember the cricket?

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She is the cricket. You know what I mean? This tiny gun that has so much fucking power behind it. So I have a dreamcast, and I've already said it out loud, so I might as well just go ahead and say it one day in my brain. Maybe when it's a movie, she will stoop to our level, but in my brain, one day, I would love to have Dochi play Harriet Tubman. That is, like, sick. Okay.

[Courtney]

That's incredible.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's my dream cast. One day, Dochi will be Harriet Tubman.

[Amanda]

That would be fucking mind blowing, right?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And Dochi, if you're listening, let me send you this music. She listens to us.

[Shane]

Dochi loves Smosh Mouth.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

She's obsessed.

[Amanda]

She's obsessed with Smash Mouth. She loves.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

We know you're watching. You're in the comments section.

[Shane]

She keeps wanting to be on the show, and we're like, dochi, we don't have time.

[Amanda]

She loves what we discussed.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Maybe three more Grammys, and then we'll allow you to be able to show.

[Courtney]

That's awesome.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Once you get as many Grammys as Weird Al. Yay.

[Amanda]

Come on.

[Courtney]

Who would you cast as Dr. Slim?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, my God. Okay. In my dream, we were talking about that this morning. We were like, so in my mind, Dr. Slim looks almost exactly like Wiz Khalifa. We said that in the car. I said that. We were driving.

[Shane]

I was like, who do you think Dr. Slim is?

[Courtney]

Khalifa so much in high school, for sure.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Did you all see the Emily Dixon TV show? No.

[Shane]

I hear it's incredible.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So Wiz Khalifa was on that show, and he played Death in that show. And he's a pretty good actor, too. He's a pretty good actor. And I think Wiz Khalifa is a really cool cat.

[Amanda]

He's a huge fan of Smoshmouth as well.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He's actually sitting right next to Dochi.

[Amanda]

They are both watching it together, drinking tea.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Just being like. But yeah. So in my mind, I would be playing Darnell. Doki would be playing Harrod Tubman.

[Amanda]

Incredible.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Wiz Khalifa would be playing Dr.

[Courtney]

Slim.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Dr.

[Courtney]

Slim, who?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

In my dream world, I have the whole cast. In my dream world, Peter Dinklage would be playing DJ Quakes. DJ Quakes.

[Amanda]

Incredible.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Because a lot of people don't know that. So DJ Quakes is based on a real person, by the way.

[Shane]

Oh, really?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. So that Benjamin Lay is indeed a real person. He was another abolitionist who was a. He's a little person. He's from London or from Britain. And he moved to the States to live in Philadelphia. But he was kind of thrown out of his ministry. He was a Quaker because he was too radical. His most radical thing he ever did was he once stole someone's baby.

[Amanda]

Like that story was.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That's a real story.

[Amanda]

That story was wild.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He was talking to a slaver, and he was like, it must be really hard to lose your child. Like, it must be hard on the slaves. And the slave was like, why is that so hard? And he was like, okay, we'll see. He was like, bet, bet.

[Amanda]

I'll leave the baby with my wife so the baby's fine.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And then he stole the baby.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And he let them freak out for like two weeks or so. And then once he was panicked, he was like, here's your baby. Oh, so you mean it is actually hard? Interesting. Very interesting. So abolishes were wild back. So that would be Peter Dinklage in my mind. Moses. I have to remember his name. Cause I also kind of have a crush on him. He's so hot.

[Amanda]

Talent crush or a crush?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, crush. Crush. But he's not.

[Courtney]

I love the idea of a talent crush, though. Cause I totally have that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But he's not gay, though. And I rarely ever have anything interest in this.

[Shane]

Oh, I wonder if it's. I wonder if I'm straight. I wonder if I've clocked it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I think I know in my mind, Moses would be played by. Come on, let me find. Oh, Lakeith Stanley.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Who were you thinking?

[Amanda]

What did you think?

[Shane]

I was thinking of another actor. But Lakeith Sanfield is one of my favorite actors. I love him.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. Much, I think.

[Courtney]

Was he played in.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He was in Atlanta. He was also in. Sorry to bother you.

[Courtney]

I follow him on Instagram. I love him.

[Amanda]

And he's in let.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He was Jesus's brother. Book of Clarence. He was Clarence brother. He was like a. Another Jesus type.

[Shane]

He's so cool.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

In Book of Clarence.

[Amanda]

Yeah, that would be Moses.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, that would be Moses.

[Courtney]

I see it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And Buck would be. Would be played by. I mean, this is obviously impossible because he's passed away, but it's like a Michael Clark Duncan type.

[Shane]

You know, you describe him in the book as if Michael Clark Duncan ate Michael Clark Duncan.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Which was.

[Shane]

I highlighted that line because it made me laugh.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So being Rheims could be a good. Could be a good Buck. And in my mind, Odessa is. Her name is not Olivia Pope. That's not her name. Kerry Washington.

[Amanda]

Oh, my God. That's a great cast.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But also Zendaya, who I'm obviously a huge fan of.

[Shane]

Yes.

[Courtney]

Odessa and Buck. Are they based on real folk?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No, they're made up. They're just people made up. Odessa is actually a town in Texas.

[Courtney]

Okay, okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

That I always thought was a pretty name.

[Courtney]

It is a pretty name. It's a pretty name. I really liked that character. It kind of. There's a scene in the book where Darnell takes Odessa to a restaurant, and Odessa's just enjoying this meal. And it was just a scene that was like, we get so caught up in the weirdest everyday issues that we forget the real things that can be going on.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah, for sure.

[Courtney]

I really liked that scene a lot.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I love the idea of Odessa walking around Harlem and, like, having fun. And, you know, Darnell's taking her to. Taking her. He's like, yeah, you just cross. And she's like, you know, cars are moving. She's kind of like, you know, it's a little Encino Man. It is a little Encino Man. Nice reference.

[Amanda]

I love your references right now.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, thank you.

[Amanda]

So good.

[Shane]

Do you think you'll write more books in the future?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I already have the next book in this installment, and I'm happy to take.

[Shane]

It in this installment.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yes. World building. So the next book is called Jesus Christ for President.

[Shane]

Hell, yeah.

[Amanda]

Incredible.

[Shane]

All right.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And Jesus Christ is running for president, and shocker. Conservatives don't like his politics. No, Shocker.

[Amanda]

That's a spoiler.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Conservatives do not like his politics. They're shouting, oh, my God, who's this Palestinian guy?

[Shane]

Fair.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

He's like, I'm Jesus Christ.

[Amanda]

Christ.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Maybe you've heard of me.

[Amanda]

I Love this.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, let's keep the book on display. Don't you like it? Keep it pretty. Also, I was torn between. I'll tell you the other book that I have that has nothing to do with this world. That I was torn between with this and the other book. It was. This book is called the Last White Person on Earth.

[Amanda]

Great.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Now, the concept of this book is, in a world, there are no more races. Like, races don't exist. There are no black people. There are no white people. There are no Asian people. Everyone is Zendaya. Everyone is. You were Zendaya.

[Amanda]

Zendaya.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

No. Zendaya's. I want to be clear.

[Courtney]

I think you should have said hi to ncaa.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I want to be clear. Zendaya is a black woman. I want to be very clear. Zendaya is a black woman. That was a bit. But everyone is brown. Everyone is multiracial. Everyone is this, like, racially ambiguous brown color. Right. This is the One World Order. This is a government mandate. You cannot be more than 50% of any race. You legally cannot be. This was Abraham Lincoln's mission. Just get rid of all the people of all the races, and there will be no more racism.

[Amanda]

Yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So in this world that I've built, that I've created in my head, I've not even written a single page. There's a tribe of white people who have hidden in the woods of Alabama, and they are the last white people on Earth. And the government is like, we gotta go get them. They can't be down there. We told you, you can't be white. So you go in and you get them, and they kill all the white people. A dream. No kidding. Everyone claps, and the book is over.

[Amanda]

Done.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They kill all the white people. And then there's one soldier, and he finds this baby. There's just a little white baby, and everyone else is dead. And he's like, I can't kill this baby. He puts the baby in his rut sack and he just goes about his business. He goes home, and you're in a world where people have never seen a white person, a black person, an Asian person. Everyone is brown. And then he shows his baby and everyone's brown. Like, oh, my God, what is. I never seen a white. This is crazy. And then it becomes, what do I do with this baby? Like, what do you do with this? The last white person on Earth. And it's a baby, and it's a baby. You can't raise them. The baby. Because the baby will do what white people do. They will make More white people. And they'll go out, they'll go white. They'll spread. You know, they'll spread.

[Shane]

We do do that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

They'll spread. And they're like, you can't kill this baby, because this is the baby. This is a baby. How can you kill, like, you know what white people have? They learned that there are no white people here to teach them what it is. So then there's like, a trial. Then the whole world is, like, on edge about the deciding what to do about the last white person on earth. I haven't decided yet what I'm gonna do.

[Shane]

Good.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It's kind of like the Jungle Book. It's loosely based on Jungle Book where, like, you know, Shere Khan's like, we can't have this man cub. Yeah. Like, there can't. He'll do what men do. You cannot let him. You cannot allow him to live among us, because he's gonna hunt us. He does. But of course, Sherkhan is traumatized. You know, Shere Khan was. You can see in Jungle Boy, he's afraid of fire for a good reason. You know what I mean? So it's loosely based on Jungle Book, and this little white kid is Mowgli.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

I love it.

[Shane]

That's incredible.

[Courtney]

I feel like that'd be an awesome TV show.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

But his name won't be Mowgli. It'll be like, Theron. Yeah.

[Amanda]

I was like, it can't be Mowgli. Theron.

[Shane]

Brandlin.

[Amanda]

Drake.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Braden. What do we do with baby Braden?

[Shane]

Bob, before we go, we had some quick fire questions that we wrote out that we wanted to ask you.

[Courtney]

They're special to us.

[Shane]

They're special to us.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm all ears.

[Shane]

They're all about Smosh related stuff.

[Amanda]

Okay. This one's about us.

[Shane]

They're all kind of, like, related.

[Amanda]

The Real Housewife one. Okay. Would you rather.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I know this is not very rapid, I want to say.

[Amanda]

Would you rather.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I know.

[Amanda]

So, okay, we're gonna do this slow. Would you rather argue with a real housewife or an 11 year old undressed to impress?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I have argued with a real housewife, and I gotta say, it's really fun. I love the housewives. And I. Do it again. Bop, bop, bop.

[Shane]

Name three adjectives that describe a margarita.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Zesty.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Tangy. Boozy.

[Shane]

Zesty. Tangy, boozy.

[Amanda]

Incredible.

[Shane]

Those are good.

[Amanda]

Can animatronics be sexy?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Oh, 100% for sure. I have. I kind of have a crush on. On the Avatar. Creatures. Creatures.

[Amanda]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane]

Oh, of course. Yeah.

[Courtney]

The one at Disney World.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

My. Hear me out.

[Courtney]

Is.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Is the avatar creatures. Oh, there's animatronic. You know, I want to Anim. I want to. What is animatronic? What do you call it? Anatomically correct. Animatronic. You do. With that information.

[Shane]

You will. Do you eat cereal?

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And not often, but I do like cereal. My favorite cereal is Apple Jacks.

[Shane]

Oh.

[Amanda]

Oh.

[Shane]

Solid choice. Solid choice.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Hands down.

[Amanda]

Submissive or breeding.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Me, specifically?

[Amanda]

Yes.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Or preference wise? Preference.

[Courtney]

I'd say preference.

[Amanda]

Okay, Preference.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm submissive.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah.

[Amanda]

Love it.

[Shane]

And then last one we actually wrote down. Have you played werewolf? And would you play it with us? But you already.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

So. I've never played werewolf, but I played mafia.

[Amanda]

You'll be fine.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I played blood on the clock tower.

[Shane]

Oh, then you're fine.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

And I was cast on the show the traitors.

[Courtney]

Okay, the resume is stacked.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You're gonna.

[Shane]

I think you're ready. I think you're ready.

[Amanda]

Fine.

[Shane]

The door is wide open. If you ever want to play werewolf.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I want to go back and say submissive and readable. Thank you.

[Amanda]

Okay.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Courtney]

To go back for that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Okay.

[Amanda]

So you're going to play werewolf with us? Hopefully.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Yeah. I'm cutthroat. When.

[Shane]

When you have a spare moment sometime in the next few years.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Well, listen, y'all, I'm, you know, I'm busy, but I'm easy.

[Amanda]

Okay, you're busy, but you're easy.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm busy because I say yes to.

[Courtney]

Everything I really like. That's so true. Based on just, like, everything you've done.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm everywhere you are. You know, once I was in this last, my ex broke up with me, which is valid and fair. We weren't great together. But the day he broke up, like, a month later, there was this giant billboard. You know, the tall wall.

[Courtney]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

If you drive down sunset, it's like 9100 Sunset. It's like a huge building. It's like one of the biggest. I was on, like, the tall wall.

[Shane]

Hell, yeah.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Which is like he could see from his. His home. I was like, baby, you will never get rid of me. Oh, my God.

[Courtney]

Good morning.

[Shane]

That's incredible.

[Amanda]

I love that.

[Shane]

Well, we gotta go. But, Bob, thank you so much.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Thank you. If you guys want to get my book, you can go to readthedragqueen.com. that is readthedragqueen dot com. If you want a signed copy of my book, you can go to BobSignedBook.com and yeah, and again, you go read TheD Queen.com. youm can also get the audiobook there as well.

[Courtney]

Audiobook. And it's. You reading it.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

Can I say something real quick? Listen, hear me out, y'all. This is my soft pitch, okay? Times are tough. I know this. If you have an Amazon prime account, you get one free audiobook a month. I don't know if you guys know this. Just make it mine. If you have a Spotify Premium account, you get 10 free hours of audiobook every month. Do people know that?

[Amanda]

No, I actually didn't know that.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

My book is only five and a half hours.

[Shane]

There you go.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

You can listen to mine and something else and then the first 10% of Wicked.

[Courtney]

And there's nothing better than when the author reads their own book as an audiobook, so. And it being Bob the Drag Queen, no less, is awesome.

[Amanda]

And those songs will be in it in real time.

[Courtney]

Yeah. That's incredible to me. That's, like, so, like, new. I feel like that's not super common. I'm. I'm so stoked for everybody who gets to hear that for the first time.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

It was. It's a good music. It's really good music. I'm really proud of it. Really, really good.

[Courtney]

Yes. I feel that.

[Amanda]

We're so honored to have you.

[Shane]

Thank you.

[Bob the Drag Queen]

I'm happy to be here. It was a real pleasure.

[Amanda]

You are incredible. You really are.

[Courtney]

All right, all right, all right.

[Amanda]

See you guys later.

[Shane]

Bye.