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Ryan Seacrest
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Shane
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Keith
No purchase necessary bgw prohibited by law. See terms and conditions 18 plus. Hey, welcome to Smoshmouth. I'm Shane.
Amandi
Oh, hey, welcome to Smoshmouth. I'm Amandi and this is our wonderful guest Kiss Kiss.
Keith
What's up kids?
Amandi
What's up kids?
Kiss Kiss
Guys, don't you love like when you go on the show or like watch a television show and they're like, hey, how are you? Like we didn't talk like 10 minutes before.
Amandi
Yeah, it's so good to see you.
Kiss Kiss
Oh my God, he just walked in.
Keith
Weren't expecting him to be here today.
Amandi
It's crazy that you're here. It's always like that. It's like oh my God. Hi. And you're like on and right when you get there, like, oh my God, I'm exhausted. So anyways, you want coffee or anything?
Kiss Kiss
Exactly. Shout out to Ellen.
Amandi
Who?
Kiss Kiss
Ellen. Never forget Ellen.
Keith
Never forget.
Kiss Kiss
Now I know People say she was mean and she wasn't not the nicest person. But Ellen has created a, a lot of great moments for us. Back in the day, you didn't watch the Ellen show.
Amandi
Of course I did. I watched Ellen's stand up.
Kiss Kiss
Really?
Amandi
Yeah. I watched Ellen stand up in college. When she came out, it was like, I think she came out in one of her stand ups. Or I could be crazy.
Kiss Kiss
You could be making that up.
Amandi
I could be making that up. But she had a legit stand up.
Kiss Kiss
It's definitely fuck her stand up. We're talking about the Ellen show. That's what. That's where it was.
Keith
I will say it's actually so funny to think back on how kind of, dare I say, revolutionary it was that she was just like, guys, let's dance. And everyone was like, whoa, she's changing it up. She's dancing.
Kiss Kiss
Black people loved her because she had rhythm. I'm telling you, like, look at this white girl go.
Keith
No, it's always khakis. It's odd to think back on how like during that time she was like, so loved and everyone like, she's the sweetest person on tv.
Amandi
Literally.
Kiss Kiss
And that's how I choose to remember her.
Amandi
Good. I'm so glad. It's unfortunate that she had that big fall where everyone's like, no, she's psychotic. I was like, wait a second.
Keith
Unfortunately, it was one of those where I had heard about it from like people in the industry for years of just like, don't work for her.
Amandi
Damn, that sucks.
Keith
And then, and then I was just like, oh, that sucks. And then like, it really like blew up. And it's like, then you look back.
Amandi
At clips when she scares celebrities, like aggressively when they're sitting there and then these creepy things come out of the box. They're super scared. And Ellen's like. And you're like, oh, oh, I see it. I see that.
Kiss Kiss
So we got some Ellen haters on our hands here today.
Amandi
No?
Kiss Kiss
Maybe rightfully so.
Amandi
I love that you brought up Ellen.
Keith
Yeah. Change the subject, Keith. I. I've been thinking about you this, this past couple weeks.
Amandi
Oh, my God. You are lucky. Let me tell you, honey, you are.
Keith
Look, listen, Keith. I never think about anybody. And I've been thinking about you.
Kiss Kiss
I feel.
Keith
No, it's. It's very stupid. For some reason, Fetty Wap has been playing so much lately.
Kiss Kiss
Oh my God.
Keith
It has been playing non stop. I didn't hear him for years. Suddenly his music is just all over. Tik Tok, he's back Just his song?
Kiss Kiss
No, he's in jail.
Keith
Yeah, he's in jail. 200 pounds of drugs, I believe.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah, it was something crazy.
Amandi
What. How long has he been in jail?
Kiss Kiss
I don't know him. And his one eye has been in jail for maybe, like, three years now.
Amandi
So how is he making music?
Kiss Kiss
He's not.
Keith
He's not? No. It's remixes of his songs. It has me thinking about, like, when I first. When we first joined Smosh Fetty Wap, you couldn't go a day without hearing it multiple times.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah.
Keith
And that was, like, for a year or two.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah, it was for like a year or two. I. I mean, I played in the office every day.
Keith
Every day. Did you.
Kiss Kiss
Did you like the songs?
Keith
I like the songs.
Kiss Kiss
Did I ever annoy you that I played the music so much?
Keith
No, no. Those songs were very, like, joyful. They're like. They're very lively.
Amandi
I just love Shane listening to music. It is so great.
Keith
No, you could never. No, truly, like, anytime we all got in a car together, it was just so like, hey, what's up?
Amandi
Hello.
Keith
Our first vidcon. Like, you saying it to the crowd.
Amandi
Let's find that clip.
Keith
17:30.
Kiss Kiss
I'm telling you, he had me in a chokehold.
Amandi
I mean, he was so good.
Kiss Kiss
It was. It was like his voice was different. He had melodies. It was very, like, gravelly, but, like, just kind of, like, sweet and nice.
Amandi
You know what bums me out? I mean, I. I get why he's in jail, but it's like, yeah, maybe I shouldn't say that, but I was like, it's sad to me. I'm like, oh, he can't do his music. But I guess he's in jail for a reason.
Kiss Kiss
Actually, you can. I think Tory Lanez just put out some music from jail.
Amandi
Tory Lanez is going to be in jail for a bit.
Kiss Kiss
For a bit.
Amandi
Because he shot at Megan thee stallion's feet.
Keith
Oh, damn.
Amandi
I was very into that. I went down a rabbit hole of, like, why did he shoot at Megan thee stallion's feet while she was out of the car and cops were there. They showed up. What was going on? No, I know. It's really. It's really weird that I do this with.
Keith
With Fetty Wap, though. He had a couple years before he was in jail, so I think he also just kind of wasn't meeting the standards of his first couple songs.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah, for sure.
Keith
Those songs were just so huge. He was never gonna meet that.
Amandi
How do. Okay, so how do you make music from jail? And this is the real question.
Kiss Kiss
I don't. I think.
Amandi
So what, Keith, you have the answers.
Kiss Kiss
So I'm just gonna go off of whim here. So with the way that recording equipment is now just, like, mics and everything, you can record off of the. The. The.
Amandi
The phone call, they're doing it through the phone. And how's the quality?
Kiss Kiss
The quality is good because of the way the. The equipment is. The. Everything. We are truly in the future, y'all. We are in the future.
Amandi
No, it's true.
Kiss Kiss
Now, if you would have did this in 2005, it would have sounded like static, you know, but now it's just like. I mean, I could record a whole album on my phone on my, like, voice memo.
Amandi
Yep.
Keith
Do it.
Amandi
No, you can't.
Kiss Kiss
I'm going to do it.
Keith
Do it right now.
Kiss Kiss
Write some music together.
Amandi
You can do it. You can, like, record a who or a song, and then you can do it through, like, a type of software, and they can have it right in the studio and record it, edit it.
Kiss Kiss
It's all about the editing. It's all about that.
Keith
That's true. Wow.
Amandi
Pretty cool.
Kiss Kiss
Wow.
Keith
Really, really learning a lot here today.
Amandi
Shane and I start to say the same things at the same time, and it's getting freaky synced.
Keith
We're about to learn a lot more about each other because we're going to play some. Never have I ever today.
Amandi
I know the last time we played was with Tommy, and it felt like months ago.
Keith
Yeah, I think it was.
Amandi
And we learned a lot months ago.
Keith
Yeah.
Amandi
I feel like I know a lot about you, but here we go.
Kiss Kiss
Oh, you're gonna learn.
Keith
See, it's. Think about it. Like, Keith, I feel like I know everything about you. Hold on.
Amandi
Wait.
Shane
What?
Keith
Well, I mean, what's going on? Some of our content back in the day, like, I feel like we just. We just put it all out there.
Kiss Kiss
I'll give you that. I'll give you that.
Keith
I'll give you that. Occasionally I see fans bring up a show with no name, and I'm like, damn, what a blast from the past.
Kiss Kiss
Oh, yeah. We used to just sit on a couch and talk.
Keith
Talk. It was just a podcast.
Amandi
YouTube.
Kiss Kiss
No, everyone.
Keith
Everyone would all.
Kiss Kiss
Like. Sometimes it'd be me, Courtney, and Olivia. It was just interchangeable.
Keith
A different. Different three people every time. And it was just a podcast, but it was just on.
Amandi
I was watching. Courtney was showing us, like, old videos of you guys. What was the show that you guys were in when you were all sitting at this, like, desk and you had the buzzer when you were lying.
Kiss Kiss
Oh.
Keith
Oh, the shock.
Amandi
We watched that.
Kiss Kiss
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Keith
We should bring that back.
Kiss Kiss
Oh, yeah.
Amandi
Asked us to.
Keith
We could play. We should play it here on the podcast.
Kiss Kiss
I would be so glad to do it, although I hate to.
Amandi
I was gonna say you couldn't keep your hand.
Kiss Kiss
I broke it. I broke the shocker. But I'm so down to go for it now. Now, I'm not saying that I might not break it again, but I'm pretty.
Keith
I'm pretty sure the thing doesn't even work. I'm pretty sure it's just random.
Amandi
I would have been like you. I hate the anticipation.
Kiss Kiss
Yes.
Keith
Oh, my God.
Amandi
It was a very funny video.
Keith
It really sucks.
Amandi
Not the same as show with no Name.
Keith
No show with the name was.
Amandi
What show is that one called?
Keith
That was just the Shocker with Keith.
Kiss Kiss
Not with Keith.
Keith
The Shocker with Keith.
Amandi
Shocker with Keith and Friends.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah.
Keith
For one episode. It was huge.
Kiss Kiss
It was huge.
Keith
It was a big deal. Oh, my God. Yeah, we should. Absolutely. We'll do that. We'll bring that back here. Well, that'll be perfect for the podcast, because that doesn't fit anywhere else on any of our channels.
Amandi
You could do it in Challenge Pet.
Keith
For sure, I guess. Yeah.
Kiss Kiss
People like to see people in pain, too.
Amandi
It's crazy.
Keith
Do that type of stuff.
Amandi
You know what I'll never do, though?
Keith
What?
Amandi
I never want to be involved in, like, a period stimulator where they have these.
Keith
I did that for. For Challenge Pit.
Amandi
They, like, hook up guys to a period stimulator, like, to get the same amount of cramps as a woman, and I'm like, I don't want to go through it.
Keith
I, I.
Amandi
We did. I don't even want to watch this.
Kiss Kiss
We did that, like, a year ago.
Keith
We did it, like, a year ago on Challenge Pit. What? It was like a year. A year and a half ago. Yeah. And I. I got hooked up on all of it, Right. And it was, like, from 1 to 10.
Amandi
I love that you're hooked up like this.
Keith
Like, well, it was on my stomach, right. Abdomen, you know, and it was on, like, a low setting, and they started it, and I was immediately like, really? I hate this so much.
Amandi
Yeah.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah. I don't believe it worked.
Keith
It was awful. It was truly. That's why I'm, like, truly awful.
Amandi
What? I. I mean, I don't want to go through it. I don't feel like watching you go through it. That doesn't make me go, yeah, the.
Keith
Thumbnail is Quite literally, me hooked up to the thing. Like. Like. Yeah, it was. It was brutal.
Kiss Kiss
I gotta watch it.
Keith
It sucked. I was also such a unique. I've never experienced, like, cramps in that region, so it's like a feeling I've never felt before. I hated it. I. But I've never been the type to be like, yeah, I could handle that.
Kiss Kiss
I'm that type. I can handle it.
Amandi
Let's do it on you.
Kiss Kiss
No, I don't actually see. Oh, my God.
Amandi
Okay. So you know Keith very well, so you say.
Keith
I think so. I mean, look, there's probably. There's probably a plethora of things I don't know, but there's so many fun things I do know.
Amandi
I feel like to really know Keith, I'd have to, like, go out with Keith.
Kiss Kiss
Oh, for one night.
Amandi
All night.
Kiss Kiss
For sure. We've talked about it before. Yeah. I don't know if we've talked about it here or if Amanda.
Keith
If we talked about it in the last episode.
Amandi
You guys went out once?
Kiss Kiss
No, no. Just one time.
Keith
No, it's the. It's the one of my favorite stories of all time.
Kiss Kiss
Please sell her. Just let her know, like a fast. Like a. It's really.
Keith
You're talking about the. The Hennessy and Coke.
Amandi
Oh, I know about this.
Kiss Kiss
Oh, you know about it.
Amandi
You said it the last time he was here.
Keith
Fans know. I think they've heard this story. Yeah.
Amandi
You having Hennessy and Coke just makes me laugh so much, and I don't.
Keith
Know how it appeared before me.
Amandi
Did you enjoy it?
Keith
I did. It was great. I was with Kurt Maloney.
Kiss Kiss
Yep.
Keith
It was us both at a bar.
Kiss Kiss
I made them both get a Hennessy and Coke.
Amandi
And Shane and Kurt sitting there like, hennessy and Coke.
Kiss Kiss
Joyful. Yeah.
Keith
This sure is delightful.
Amandi
Thanks, guys.
Kiss Kiss
And I was just on the side. Dumbasses are gonna hurt in the morning. I watched them drink that. I was like, you're like, good luck.
Keith
It was good, man.
Amandi
Tastes like sweet, Sweet, sweet.
Keith
It was absolutely better than a whiskey and Coke. I was like, this makes more sense.
Amandi
I don't know. In Hennessy. I. I personally just don't like sweet drinks. Like, I like gin. Straight.
Keith
Yeah.
Kiss Kiss
Oh, wow.
Amandi
So Hennessy. Hennessy's a little sweet, but maybe if it's mixed in something anyways, like, Coke. Not like it's offered to me right now. Coke is sweet. We all just have Hennessy and Coke.
Keith
The whole cast, we, like, pull them out from under the table. It's like. So anyways, anyways, that would Be awesome. Yeah, but that was the best.
Kiss Kiss
It's early right now, actually. That wouldn't be.
Keith
It is. It is not even 10:00am it's not.
Amandi
Even 10:00am I mean, I don't want.
Kiss Kiss
To be judged if I want to drink at 9:30, you know.
Amandi
We're not gonna judge you.
Kiss Kiss
Thank you.
Keith
It'd be very.
Amandi
Plenty of bars open at 9am really? You're in Ireland? Yeah.
Keith
That actually makes sense.
Amandi
Yeah.
Keith
Step into the world of power, loyalty and luck.
Amandi
I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse.
Keith
With family. Cannolis and spins mean everything.
Amandi
Now you want to get mixed up.
Kiss Kiss
In the family business.
Keith
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Amandi
Someday I will call upon you to do a service for me.
Keith
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Amandi
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Ryan Seacrest
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Keith
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Amandi
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Keith
It's. It's unbelievably easy. The app is so simple. It's so streamlined. I've used Zocdoc and you should too.
Amandi
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Keith
Do we want to kick this game off?
Amandi
Yeah, let's kick it off.
Keith
All right.
Amandi
I don't want to go first.
Kiss Kiss
Can I go first? Of course.
Amandi
You're the special Guest.
Kiss Kiss
We're doing five.
Keith
We'll start with five. Yeah. We'll do several rounds.
Kiss Kiss
So the goal of this game is to get you guys out, right?
Keith
Yeah.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah.
Keith
And you're playing, too.
Kiss Kiss
I'm playing, too, yeah.
Amandi
All right.
Kiss Kiss
So I'm just gonna kick it off.
Keith
Okay. Okay.
Kiss Kiss
Never have I ever been white.
Keith
Damn it.
Kiss Kiss
Okay, Keith, you can put half. Maybe figure it out. Just kind of like, Portuguese is a weed.
Keith
Portuguese is white. All right.
Amandi
Portuguese is white. I'm sure. Do I get tan? It's very. It's very hard to do one finger.
Keith
Look.
Amandi
Look at that. Naturally.
Kiss Kiss
Yes. Nice. There we go.
Amandi
Imagine this is all the way down. But this is what. This is what I can do. My fingers can't do that.
Keith
I almost have to do two for that one.
Amandi
You have to do your whole hand. You're literally out. But get that Hennessy and go.
Kiss Kiss
Look, we might have put a couple fingers back up.
Amandi
Maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe.
Keith
If you're throwing that one out, Keith, then I've got this one. Never have I. I'm gonna see if Amanda has. If this will knock down Amanda, too. Never have I ever seen the movie, Norbit.
Amandi
Of course I have.
Keith
You have?
Amandi
Yeah.
Keith
I still haven't seen it.
Kiss Kiss
Really?
Keith
I still haven't seen you.
Amandi
I love Eddie Murphy movies. Dr. Dolittle.
Keith
Well, I love Dr. Dolittle.
Amandi
Any other ones? I think she said Eddie Murphy.
Kiss Kiss
I love Eddie Murphy.
Amandi
I love Eddie Murphy movies. Pluto Nash, Beverly Hills Cop.
Kiss Kiss
That's good.
Amandi
Why am I missing some of.
Kiss Kiss
I don't know.
Amandi
Wait. There is such a good Eddie Murphy movie that no one talks about. What is it called where he plays, again? I think two people. The actor. He's, like, really nerdy, and he plays the actor. Thank you. So good. I haven't seen that in years.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah, it's really funny. Really funny movie.
Amandi
Am I still putting my finger down for Eddie Murphy?
Keith
For Norbit?
Kiss Kiss
Yeah. Yeah.
Amandi
Okay.
Keith
I still haven't seen it.
Kiss Kiss
Why?
Keith
I don't know. I haven't gotten around to it.
Kiss Kiss
Shane, I honestly think you would appreciate it. Yeah.
Keith
Like, it's your favorite movie.
Kiss Kiss
Could you do some homework tonight for me and watch it?
Keith
All right, I will watch it.
Amandi
Courtney, we have to turn off Vanderpump Rules, and we're going to have to. We have to watch Norbit.
Keith
We're watching Norbit tonight.
Amandi
Okay. God. Mine are not as good. Okay. Never have I ever peed standing up, girl. I said damn, and I love that. That's a real man. That is a real man. Sorry.
Kiss Kiss
Let me Put my finger down when you're outside.
Amandi
Have you peed standing up?
Keith
Keith's sitting on the urinal.
Kiss Kiss
I don't like that.
Amandi
Wait a second. You can do that sitting on the urinal?
Keith
Just peeing into the bathroom.
Kiss Kiss
I don't like that.
Amandi
Why do they have gel in a urinal? We don't have to get it, you know, when there's, like, gel. Weird things in there, you know? What is that for? Smell?
Keith
I don't actually.
Kiss Kiss
Is it to clean? I think it's to clean the.
Amandi
So you sit on the half tub of the urinal?
Kiss Kiss
Yes, yes, I sit on the half tube. Mm.
Amandi
Did you put a finger down?
Keith
Yeah, I've got three down, so I'm losing right now.
Amandi
Yeah, that white one took you out.
Keith
Never have I ever done the splits, Keith. You never have.
Kiss Kiss
I don't know if I could do the splits.
Amandi
You could if you stretched, Boo. If you stretch, you could.
Kiss Kiss
Oh, I can't.
Amandi
Okay.
Kiss Kiss
I cannot do the splits.
Amandi
Yes.
Kiss Kiss
Actually, that would be kind of cool.
Keith
That's what I've always thought.
Amandi
It is really cool. And I. I remember when I got into it, I was like, oh, it's just from years of doing yoga and stretching.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah. Why was I so offended you asked if I could do the splits?
Keith
I don't know.
Amandi
I don't know.
Kiss Kiss
That's crazy.
Amandi
Maybe there's a part of you that.
Kiss Kiss
That wants to do this.
Keith
I'm not flexible.
Amandi
And you don't. You don't need to do. Yeah, you don't need to do this type of split where you're like, that's what I wanted. That's a really hard split.
Kiss Kiss
Okay. Do you know how to do that?
Keith
You're talking about the side split?
Amandi
I don't know. I did side splits.
Kiss Kiss
Aren't they called, like, straddles?
Amandi
Straddles.
Keith
Whoa.
Kiss Kiss
Maybe I do.
Keith
Talking like you.
Amandi
I think you want a straddle.
Kiss Kiss
Maybe I want to straddle.
Amandi
I think you want to do dance. A year later, Keith is like, come to my show.
Keith
Jump on it.
Kiss Kiss
Let's do it.
Amandi
That would be amazing.
Kiss Kiss
Oh, my God. Hold up. My turn.
Amandi
Yeah, it's your turn.
Kiss Kiss
Oh, my God. I got to get a good one for you guys. Oh, my God. Guys.
Keith
Okay.
Kiss Kiss
Never have I ever had my license.
Keith
That's. Damn. You got me.
Amandi
Still to this day, never.
Keith
Have you thought about it?
Kiss Kiss
I think about it every day.
Keith
Have you practiced driving? Have you?
Kiss Kiss
I've practiced Ian's practice with me one time.
Keith
Oh, really? Yeah.
Kiss Kiss
Well, he taught me a little bit. Cool. He Taught me everything I know. And he also wanted me to buy this old car from him that was really. But it did not have air conditioning in it.
Amandi
No, wait a second. You just. Yeah, you can do this. Just go get your permit.
Kiss Kiss
I don't think I want to. I think everybody else wants me to drive more than I want to, you know?
Amandi
Yeah.
Kiss Kiss
But it's certain things. Okay, I'm gonna be honest right now. I had an audition, a commercial audition the other day, right? Or this was a couple weeks ago, and it was for, like, Pizza Hut. And in it, I had to learn how to drive. So I get. Wow. Well, I had to know how to drive, rather. I had to know how to drive, y'all during auditions. You're gonna lie on your resume just straight up.
Amandi
Of course you are.
Kiss Kiss
You know what I mean?
Keith
So, like, you gotta have a rule.
Kiss Kiss
You know what I mean? So it's like, you gotta have a proper driver's license. I'm like, shit. But then they also wanted me to be able to play basketball. I'm like, damn, it's a double whammy. Let's see how this shit goes.
Amandi
How did that. How many people ask me to play basketball? I'm like, just because I'm 6ft doesn't mean I do it.
Kiss Kiss
Doesn't mean shit. Just cause I'm black don't mean I can jump. You know what I mean? It's just. That's not how it works. So when I tell you I lied so hard, and I was like, I hope they don't ask for a picture of my license. What am I going to do? I was going to make a fake license so I could get it. Noah was going to teach me how to stage.
Keith
It's easier to learn how to drive than make a fake license.
Kiss Kiss
But hold on. Guess who's going to teach me how to drive? Because Noah, the worst driver I freaking know. I said, noah, if I get this, because I got a call back, y'all, I had to go and play basketball in the. Y'all, I had to play basket. It was the craziest audition of my life.
Keith
And Ian taught you how to play basketball? You played.
Amandi
You played basket? Did you play?
Kiss Kiss
I played.
Keith
And.
Kiss Kiss
And I actually, like, I can jump a little bit. I shocked myself. When I tell you. I was like, oh. Oh. I went between my legs. I was like, oh, my God. Thank you, God. I think it just.
Keith
Off instinct, bro.
Kiss Kiss
I'm black. There's something within us that we just have it. I got a lot of cousins. We used to Shoot basketball back in my day. You know what I mean?
Amandi
Back in my day. Back in my day.
Kiss Kiss
I feel like it.
Amandi
Wait a second. Did they ask you to drive, though?
Kiss Kiss
They said that you had to pull up in the car, so I had to act like it. I can act like I'm driving. You just have in my head. I had a convertible in your head.
Amandi
So you never did it.
Kiss Kiss
I never did it. But I had to know how to drive.
Keith
Yes.
Amandi
Book the job.
Kiss Kiss
No. But I got down to. I got down, Got the call back and everything. They laughed at me. I was talking to the director. I was like, oh, this is good. I hope this was the first one I hoped I didn't get. Because I was like, I'm going to really have to prove myself. And if I'm going to learn how to drive from Noah. Like, I'm.
Amandi
No, you're fucked.
Kiss Kiss
Well, he sucks.
Amandi
You're fucked.
Kiss Kiss
I was in a car with him yesterday. I was like, bro, you actually suck at driving. He said, keith, you don't even know how. I said, I know how better than you know.
Amandi
When you are with a friend who's had their license forever and you fear for your literal life or your gripping. You're like, when. How have you made it this far?
Kiss Kiss
I don't know.
Amandi
You should stop driving.
Kiss Kiss
I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. The crazy thing is, maybe I'm insane because I always get in the car with him. You know, like, maybe there's something wrong with.
Amandi
Well, I was getting the car with my friend who I feel. I fear death. Death every single time. But I haven't yet, so it's fine.
Kiss Kiss
I mean, I've gotten into a few accidents with Noah, so.
Keith
Yeah, a few.
Kiss Kiss
A few, yes. He sucks. Oh, my God.
Keith
I believe it was my first day working at Smosh. You guys got into it.
Kiss Kiss
I wouldn't doubt it. I've never been the same. I don't remember.
Amandi
Yeah, well, maybe that's why you don't want to drive.
Kiss Kiss
No. No.
Amandi
Trauma. Thank you, Trauma. Thank you.
Kiss Kiss
Thank you for trying to help me, but I don't think at this point, Keith, I just.
Amandi
I think that you should drive.
Keith
I don't think you need to, man.
Amandi
What if the end of the world happens and you need to drive?
Keith
I'll run, then you. If the end of the world is happening, you don't need a license.
Kiss Kiss
That's true.
Keith
There's no government. There's literally nothing stopping you.
Kiss Kiss
Where are you driving to? You know what I mean? If the end of the world is happening. Where are you driving to?
Keith
Yeah, exactly.
Amandi
If you. Okay, I'm driving towards the comet.
Kiss Kiss
Get me the fuck out of here.
Keith
I'm going to ride this thing.
Amandi
Oh, I was thinking, like, zombies.
Keith
So once again, have you seen any zombie movie? They drive to a new place and the zombies are there.
Amandi
That's so true.
Keith
Get on a boat, you get to an island, the zombies are there.
Kiss Kiss
And zombies are usually really slow, too.
Amandi
Yeah, that's so true.
Keith
Well, it depends on what zombies you get.
Kiss Kiss
Mm.
Keith
Depends on the strain of virus, I guess.
Amandi
If you've survived in LA without a car for this long, you're gonna be fine.
Kiss Kiss
What's the point?
Amandi
What's the point? I mean, now what's the point? Unless you want to, like, drive up north. Want to drive up north?
Kiss Kiss
I've been learning how to float.
Amandi
Explain.
Keith
Yeah, you're gonna need to go on.
Kiss Kiss
Some people drive, some people walk, some people crawl. I float.
Keith
Go on.
Amandi
I can't, Shane. To me, you float while you're walking.
Kiss Kiss
Gravity is not a thing with me.
Amandi
Oh, my God.
Kiss Kiss
Okay, I think you guys are hating on me.
Amandi
Cut to Keith and Pork Chop.
Kiss Kiss
Just like I float here. If I don't ride with Noah, he's.
Keith
Getting in the Goodyear blimp to get to work.
Kiss Kiss
Never have I ever not floated.
Amandi
Not me.
Kiss Kiss
Wait, you don't have to answer. That's not.
Amandi
Oh, okay. That's not for me.
Kiss Kiss
Not one.
Keith
Like, thinking about it. I'm like, I guess. No, I have never floated before. Not in earnest.
Amandi
Crazy.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah.
Amandi
Wow. Good for you.
Keith
Keith floated in water.
Kiss Kiss
Shane, that's not what we're talking about.
Amandi
Shane, that's what we're talking about.
Keith
I know.
Amandi
Okay, you're floating. I guess you never need to drive. I put my finger down for that.
Keith
Yeah, I'm at one.
Kiss Kiss
I don't know how many I'm at. I kind of cheat.
Amandi
I think you're like, two have a lot left.
Keith
Three. You have three.
Amandi
Three.
Kiss Kiss
Okay. Thank you.
Keith
Never have I ever slept in past noon.
Kiss Kiss
What the hell?
Keith
I've never slept in past noon.
Kiss Kiss
That's not fair.
Keith
11 is, I think, the latest I ever slept in till.
Kiss Kiss
Shane, what's wrong with you?
Keith
I wake up early, man. I just. That's how I've always been.
Amandi
I think in college I've definitely slept past noon. Like on a crazy night.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah, like, he probably slept past noon when he drank that Hennessy and Coke and he just doesn't remember.
Keith
No, that's why I think my hangovers are baby My hangovers are always so bad because I do still wake up early and I just feel awful and I can't go back to sleep.
Amandi
That's terrible.
Keith
Yeah.
Kiss Kiss
I'm supposed to keep drinking. Guys aren't doing it right.
Amandi
Wake up and drink again. Can't.
Keith
Can't.
Amandi
I've definitely slept past noon in college, but it's been a while since I've. I like, slept to 11 the other day, and I was like, I must be so tired.
Keith
I literally can't. I can't sleep. I don't sleep past nine, like, ever.
Amandi
How late do you sleep until?
Kiss Kiss
It depends.
Amandi
I float.
Keith
But I also. I also. I also am. Like, I'm a baby. I go to bed so early. Like, I get so tired when I go to parties, and I'm like, we're out late. I'm like, I'll even stay up. But I'm like, I am so tired.
Kiss Kiss
You know, even babies stay up late. I think you're an ultra.
Keith
You're so right. You're so right. Babies are.
Kiss Kiss
You owe.
Keith
That's true. Babies are always awake at like 3am you see?
Kiss Kiss
You're not.
Amandi
You're not.
Kiss Kiss
I'm not.
Keith
No.
Amandi
I would say. Yeah, I would say I wake up at like 8 or that's a good time, 9. But lately, 7.
Kiss Kiss
That's great.
Keith
See, I wake up. I wake up, like on a normal day, 5, 45 or 6.
Kiss Kiss
Because you work out and shit too.
Keith
I go to the gym before I get here, so we'll have like an 8am call time, which means I have to get up and go to the gym, get back home and get ready and get here. Whoa. That's intense.
Kiss Kiss
He's been doing it for. For years.
Amandi
Yeah, well, that's why you're just. You just trained your.
Keith
I've gotten used to it. Yeah.
Amandi
Like my dad on vacation, he's up at 4am Doing computer. I do not know. The man's always like, I'm working. I'm like, dad, what are you doing at 4am on your computer? Nothing's open.
Keith
But here's. Okay, here's the thing. Here's what I love about early mornings. And I've. I've said this before. I. It's not that I like to wake up at 6am and like, get going and, like, get my day started.
Amandi
Yeah.
Keith
What I love is to wake up at 6:00am and to me, before, like, 8:00am, nothing matters. Right? Nobody's. Nobody's expecting anything of me. The world has not begun yet. So that time is truly time. Where I get to, like, relax and do whatever I want.
Kiss Kiss
It's where you catch the worm. The early bird catches the worm. Yes.
Keith
Yeah, I guess. But like, for me, I'm like, that's the time. Like, playing video games first thing in the morning at like 6am is so tranquil and peaceful.
Kiss Kiss
Whoa.
Keith
It's awesome. Cause you just wake up and you're like, yeah, like. Like, I don't have to do anything right now. My day hasn't. My day hasn't started yet. So I'm just up before. It almost feels like this exists in a vacuum. Like, I'm in the matrix for this time.
Amandi
I'm kind of. I'm kind of with you with that because, like, people aren't awake yet. So you have that time. No one's bothering you. I will say, when I can be up that early, I do love it. It's like, yeah, journal time. Pulling card time.
Keith
And I think for other people, that time is like after 10pm Right. I think people get the same feeling for late at night where it's like, okay, now this time doesn't matter.
Amandi
Night owl.
Keith
But I think the feeling is the same. I think the feeling is the same. It's like, here's the hours that are outside of the day where, like, this is my time and nobody can judge me for it.
Amandi
Yeah. Night owls are totally. I know people that, like. My husband's definitely a night owl. Like, he. He could stay up until 3am like, he love. That's his time. Are you the same?
Kiss Kiss
Yeah, I love to stay up when I'm up. I love sleep when I'm sleep.
Amandi
I float when. What's the latest? You stayed up all night? 7:00am, like, yeah, 6:00am7:00am Yeah.
Keith
I only pulled one all night.
Amandi
See, I need to go out with Keith. I don't know if I can physically have a ball. I don't know if I can physically because I feel like I'd fall asleep. But, like, I would. It would be fun.
Kiss Kiss
It would be a lot of fun. Yeah, a lot of fun.
Keith
It would be a lot of fun. I've only pulled one all nighter in my life. And it's. It's not a fun. It's not like a cool story. I was like, 13, and my. My friends threw like, a lan party.
Kiss Kiss
Of what? A land party. What the hell?
Keith
Lan? A land party?
Kiss Kiss
What's that?
Keith
James knows what I'm talking about. This is from back in the day when before, like, Internet, like, connection was what it is now. Where you. We went to a place where there was a bunch of computers that were all hooked up to each other. And me and my friends played video games all night. Like, truly all night. And like the sun rose and we were all just still up gaming. And then like, our parents came and picked us up and we like, you're like, I truly was like, it was awesome.
Amandi
What?
Keith
But that's the only time because when I got older, like, I can't pull an all nighter, like drinking because alcohol just puts me to sleep.
Amandi
Oh. Alcohol is like, no.
Keith
It's like that for a bit. And then like 1am Hits and I'm just like.
Kiss Kiss
But Shane's body's just different.
Amandi
It's just different.
Keith
It's different.
Amandi
I mean, to put a bunch of computers together and play all night, I don't know if that's something that I would want to.
Keith
I guarantee you. I guarantee you I am. There's at least five people in this office today who have pulled an all nighter at a LAN party. James has, right? Yeah, James has. Scott has. Okay, that's three in this room. I know Ian probably has. There's got to be other dudes who. Who have.
Amandi
We just call that a sleepover. In girl terms, we just call sleep over.
Keith
A land party is a specific thing.
Kiss Kiss
You got to be.
Amandi
Well, when you're sleeping over, you're conjuring spirits.
Kiss Kiss
So I don't know.
Keith
The chances are higher.
Kiss Kiss
Got to be white.
Keith
As of right now, three white guys in this room are all like, yeah, land parties.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah, it's starting to see it, I.
Keith
Think, I think, I think there's going to be some comments. Plenty of comments. People are going to be like, I don't fit that demo. And I. I've been to a land party. Now you have to. You have to probably be a millennial, because land parties just haven't been a thing in a long time.
Amandi
Yeah. Because I'm picturing big computers.
Keith
Like, yeah, back in the day, it was. Back in the day, this was like. This is like computers that are physically connected.
Amandi
Gateway 2000.
Keith
Whereas, like, Trevor probably never had a LAN party because he's grown up in the area. The Internet was what it is now, so he didn't need that. Yeah, you can just play with anyone anytime now. But it used to be special to play video games with your friends. Yeah, it was very cool.
Kiss Kiss
Oh, my gosh. Shout out to all the land parties.
Keith
Yeah, shout out to the land parties.
Amandi
And shout out to my sleepover girlies, who definitely summoned a demon and drank weird shit in the fridge and Ran around the house naked.
Kiss Kiss
Oh, my God.
Keith
Sorry. What?
Amandi
What?
Kiss Kiss
Yeah.
Keith
All right.
Amandi
Anyway.
Keith
That sounds a little crazy.
Amandi
My turn.
Kiss Kiss
Yep.
Amandi
Never have I ever shaved my head.
Keith
That's awesome. Wow.
Kiss Kiss
I've shaved my head.
Keith
I never have shaved my head.
Kiss Kiss
Really?
Amandi
Wait, I've seen you with your head shaved.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah. Yeah.
Keith
That, to this day, is one of my favorite moments in all of Smosh. Oh, is your reveal. Have you ever. You haven't seen this video?
Kiss Kiss
Oh, Smosh. Winter Games.
Keith
It was. It was. Was it Winter Games? I thought it was Summer Games.
Kiss Kiss
It was. I did it a couple times. I shaved my head a couple different.
Keith
Ways, but you revealed it, like, in a video to everyone in a way that was just.
Kiss Kiss
Oh, yeah. I shaved half of my head. We called myself Old Man Keith. I gave myself, like, the George Jefferson.
Keith
Yeah.
Amandi
Oh, wait, so you just had hair up here?
Kiss Kiss
No, I didn't have hair right there. It was on the sides.
Keith
Had the Homer Sims hat.
Kiss Kiss
Oh, no. Yes. Yes. I had a hat on the whole time. Nobody knew. I think I only told, like, Noah, of course, and maybe, like, Joe.
Amandi
Joe Beretta.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah. He drove me. Oh, my God. I was fearing for my life, but I ended up taking off my hat, and I kept that whole haircut. The whole. It aged me, like, 20 years.
Amandi
Of course it did. That is not a good look.
Keith
And then when you were bald, it was, like, shiny bald.
Kiss Kiss
Yes, for sure. For sure.
Keith
So it was incredible.
Amandi
So you bicked it. Is that a term that you guys know?
Kiss Kiss
What? What? What is that?
Amandi
Maybe that's an east coast term. When you. Yeah, when you. Yeah, like a zero is. You're calling bicking it.
Kiss Kiss
Okay, well, I bicked it.
Amandi
Hey, he baked it.
Kiss Kiss
I vicked it. Yes.
Amandi
Everyone knows what I'm talking about, right?
Kiss Kiss
No.
Amandi
Nobody ever. Okay, good to know. I can't believe you never shaved your head. If I. I want to shave my head so bad.
Kiss Kiss
Do it.
Amandi
No, because I'm growing this out.
Kiss Kiss
But you can also wear wigs. You have the luxury.
Amandi
No, it's true. It's true. I can wear wigs. I was thinking about it when I. When my hair was really, really short. I was like, oh, it. I'll just shave it.
Keith
I still. That, like, one day I'll be bald. Like, I think that'll happen really. Just someday, you know? I don't know when, but you have.
Amandi
A lot of hair, though.
Keith
But also has a big head. I do have a big head, so it might. It might be cool. But I. I've always been very curious about what it would look like. Like, I think I'm like. I feel pretty good about it. Yeah.
Amandi
I think that you actually should do like a. Like a two. Like a close cut.
Keith
Interesting.
Amandi
I think that would look really good.
Kiss Kiss
Like a buzz.
Amandi
Like a buzz cut.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah. Yeah. You should go for it. You should go for it.
Amandi
Not military buzz cut. No, just like all the way.
Kiss Kiss
Why?
Amandi
Oh, you like that?
Kiss Kiss
That's a high and tight. That would be cool with the like a nice mustache.
Keith
Yeah, that would be the full on cop. Whoa.
Kiss Kiss
That was just full.
Amandi
I don't know how I feel about that.
Kiss Kiss
I support it.
Amandi
Fine. Okay.
Kiss Kiss
I support all that. All right.
Amandi
Do it.
Kiss Kiss
I'm telling you, just go for it. You'll never know unless you go for it. Shane.
Keith
Yeah. Yeah.
Amandi
Okay, Shane.
Keith
My turn.
Amandi
He's gonna shave his head.
Keith
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Amandi
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Kiss Kiss
Come to papa.
Shane
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Amandi
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Keith
Void where prohibited by law 21 plus terms and conditions apply. Partner of mlb booking.com booking yeah, Shane, it's officially spring. You love sports and you love to travel.
Amandi
Sure do. And you know what? I just found out?
Keith
What?
Amandi
Booking.com teamed up with MLB to be their official accommodation partner. You know what that means?
Keith
What?
Amandi
We can finally go on a trip together. Yeah. With Booking.com's wide variety of stays, we can travel the US together. You can go to a baseball game and I can go to a really nice fancy cozy home or a five star hotel and act like a rich lady for a day.
Keith
That sounds so fun.
Amandi
Or I could come to the baseball game with you because it's essentially a show, right? Like show tunes, right?
Keith
What?
Amandi
Take me out of my small home. Take me out on a trip. Buy me room service and baseball hats. I don't care if I ever get back. Tell your wife it's easy to book online with booking.com it's a sleigh for it's nice to leave my bland house for an out of town stay.
Keith
Do you think Musicals are the same as baseball games.
Amandi
Booking.com wants to help make you a fan of any US city with a chance to win $1,000 in Booking.com travel credit. Head to booking.com's Instagram page at booking.com and check out their sweepstakes post for more details.
Keith
That was you? Really?
Amandi
That was an out of body experience.
Keith
I don't know what happened.
Amandi
I just. I'm an artist.
Keith
I was not planned at all.
Amandi
I feel like I need to go.
Keith
To the stage, I think. So I wouldn't be upset at a baseball game. I'd have fun.
Amandi
It's so fun.
Keith
Yeah. I know baseball. I know baseball, dude. I get it. This episode of Smoshmouth is brought to you by booking.com the official accommodation partner of MLB. Booking.com booking. Yeah. Back to the show, I. I guess.
Amandi
See ya.
Keith
The Otani of Broadway.
Kiss Kiss
Oh, my God.
Keith
Everyone is at one.
Amandi
Everyone's at one.
Kiss Kiss
Don't look at them.
Amandi
Okay. I can't see.
Kiss Kiss
Oh, okay. I got a good one. Never have I ever made a to do list.
Keith
Oh, really? You never have?
Amandi
All the time.
Kiss Kiss
Yes. And I knew that. You guys are very organized all the time. I have never in my life made a to do list. I just keep it up here.
Amandi
Nope.
Kiss Kiss
And I forget everything that I need to do.
Amandi
Exactly.
Kiss Kiss
Everything.
Amandi
A to do list.
Kiss Kiss
I'm like, oh, my God.
Amandi
Here we go.
Kiss Kiss
Yep. You love a to do list. I know you do too.
Keith
I love a to do list. Cause I do to do lists. Cause I'm forgetful, so I have to write stuff down.
Kiss Kiss
I'm forgetful, too, but I don't.
Amandi
Like, it's all.
Keith
You just let it ride. You're like.
Kiss Kiss
Like, I fl.
Amandi
Dude, I don't understand that. There are so many people who do that who are like, it's all up here. And I'm like, but you forget every single time.
Kiss Kiss
But the thing is in your head, you're like, I'm not gonna forget.
Keith
But that's true.
Kiss Kiss
Forget, you know?
Amandi
See, for me, if I don't write it down, it actually keeps me up at night. Like, I'll be like, I have to do that thing. I have to remember. But once I write it down, rest well.
Keith
I hate the feeling. I hate the feeling of remembering that I've forgotten to do something. And I'm. I'm like, when I. When I'm. When I go, oh, shoot, I forgot to text that person back. Or, oh, oh, I forgot to, like, take care of that thing or pay that bill now I hate that Feeling that too. So I. I write it down so I don't have to ever feel that feeling.
Amandi
But you're like, but I still.
Keith
But I won't. You're gonna set a reminder to make a to do list and forget someone.
Amandi
If someone gifted you a to do list that was, like, really cute, like, to do list, and I had, like, little hearts over it, would you use it?
Kiss Kiss
No, because it's all up in here.
Amandi
Okay.
Keith
Yeah.
Amandi
Good to know. I will throw away your gift.
Kiss Kiss
Why didn't you just ask me what I want?
Amandi
No, I'm just kidding. Listen, listen. You don't need a thing that says to do list. You just write it on any scrap of paper. Oh, I have scraps of paper all over the house. Garthy's like, what is this? I'm like, it's my to do list from last year. And I did it.
Keith
I love to just. Yeah. Write them down on, like, a yellow pad. And then, like, eventually, I just crumple it up and throw it at my cat.
Amandi
Wow, you're a poor cat.
Keith
He loves it.
Amandi
Does he?
Keith
Yeah, man.
Kiss Kiss
Truly.
Keith
If it's as long, it's like, something soft and whatever, you throw it at your cat. Your cat's like, I don't understand the.
Amandi
Life that people live with cats because I watched cats. Cats, and I was, like, up at night, like, what the is happening? I watched three cats, like, years ago, and they were like.
Keith
Yeah.
Amandi
And then they were, like, doing muffins or whatever it's called on your body.
Keith
Yeah, they're, like, making biscuits.
Amandi
Making a ton of biscuits.
Kiss Kiss
All.
Keith
God, they're mysterious. That. That. That's what's fun about cats. You just don't know what the. Is going on.
Amandi
Nocturnal, right?
Keith
They're not technically nocturnal, but they're, like dawn and dusk, like types of predators. So. But they'll. They'll sometimes just be up whenever the fuck they want. Yeah, they're just weird. They. They don't have a schedule. They sleep. I think it's like, 17 hours.
Amandi
I'm not. Here's the thing. I can appreciate cats. I'm kind of allergic to cats, but I can appreciate them, but I don't know if I would be able to live with one.
Keith
Oh, how are you?
Kiss Kiss
Kind of allergic.
Amandi
I could, like, come over your house and be totally fine, but if I spent, like. Like four days there, I would be sneezing and itchy.
Keith
See, I love cats and dogs. It's a totally different experience, though, now, also, individually, like, every dog and cat has their own personality. Like, one of my cats is just fully a dog. Like, wants to play fetch, wants so much attention all the time. But our other cat is just actually a cat.
Amandi
Don't touch me.
Keith
She, she doesn't mind that, but she's just very like, can just be on her own and is like very skittish.
Kiss Kiss
Do they get along?
Keith
Oh, yeah, they're brother and sister. Yeah.
Amandi
Yeah.
Keith
But dogs are, are like a cat. Some dogs don't want to be touched.
Amandi
Oh, totally.
Keith
At all. But dogs are just so fun. Cuz like I, I feel like there's a much more like communication between humans and dogs. Like we, we get it. Whereas with cats, you're sometimes like, I don't know what you're thinking exactly. I, I think cats, Cats, like, you know, they're a little haunted sometimes. You're like, I don't know what the hell is going on inside that head. They sometimes just act weird. You're like, all right.
Kiss Kiss
I like to know what's in my house. You know, same. You see what I'm saying?
Amandi
Were you coming in? You're like, like, where is it?
Kiss Kiss
Yeah, like, no, I don't want to be surprised.
Keith
It is very funny when I walk in and I'm like, I don't know where my cats are and I sometimes like go and I like look around for them. I'm like, where are they?
Amandi
See, that would never happen with Pork Chop. Pork Chop is like, I've been at the door since you left.
Keith
I know. Dogs make themselves known. Whereas also sometimes you'll just be. You won't know where your cats are and you'll just be like at the kitchen counter and all a sudden you'll turn and they're just there.
Kiss Kiss
Oh.
Keith
Cuz they're, they're so silent. Silent that you're suddenly just like, like boom. You're right behind me.
Kiss Kiss
Oh, I'm. I don't like that. I grew up with cats, believe it or not. My mom was like a cat lady. We had a cat, but we had a all gray cat. We called it Old Lady.
Keith
Love that.
Kiss Kiss
And we had a white cat named Fleece.
Keith
Oh yeah.
Kiss Kiss
My mom loves naming cats. But yeah, we had them and I, I appreciated them. But the older I've gotten, I like, love dogs, you know.
Amandi
Me too.
Keith
Pork Chop is such a. Such a sweetheart.
Kiss Kiss
She's the best thing that happened to me. Truly. Truly.
Amandi
How old is Pork Chop now?
Kiss Kiss
She like years old. She's. She's four. She'll be 500 years old.
Amandi
There's no way. She has so much energy.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah. That's my baby.
Amandi
She's so cute.
Kiss Kiss
Did you guys just lose?
Keith
We did just lose. We just won the first round. Yeah, we'll just keep going.
Kiss Kiss
Okay, let's keep going another round.
Amandi
You win, you'll see.
Keith
You barely won.
Kiss Kiss
Barely. Barely. Barely.
Keith
Never have I ever watched true crime for an entire day. I knew I'd get both of you.
Kiss Kiss
That's so messed up.
Amandi
Look at us.
Kiss Kiss
That's so.
Amandi
It's the best thing in the world.
Keith
Do you still watch Forensic Files?
Kiss Kiss
I mean, I've watched all the episodes. So whenever I go, like on a trip and I'm at a hotel, there's one channel that only has Forensic Files. I put it on the tv.
Keith
Are there new episodes of Forensic Files?
Kiss Kiss
They tried to do a Forensic Files too, but the guy who was the narrator of the first one, he's dead. So they tried to get.
Keith
And they haven't solved his murder.
Kiss Kiss
You see? And that's it. His voice was so great. I could sleep to it.
Amandi
It's like, for me, it's the Unsolved Mysteries guy. The original.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah, that's good too.
Amandi
I forget how it's. I don't know how to.
Kiss Kiss
Very calming.
Amandi
I could sleep to it, too.
Kiss Kiss
Does that make us crazy?
Amandi
Huh?
Kiss Kiss
Does that make us crazy?
Amandi
No. But mine is first 48. I think I've seen every single episode of the first 48. It is probably the harshest. It's brutal Detective show. It is so brutal because it's also like, have you ever seen it?
Keith
Closure.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah. My mom loves first 48.
Amandi
So brutal.
Keith
Every episode's just like, yeah, he got away.
Amandi
No, no, no.
Keith
Yeah, he did it.
Amandi
No.
Keith
And he got away.
Amandi
No, no.
Keith
And the good guys lose again.
Amandi
No, they usually solve it. Here's why I like it so much, is because they go into. They go like. They follow a lot of the detectives in their. In their lifestyle, which is like. Like probably why I created Sarah. Christ. Cuz a lot of them are like, single and they have no time to go home and sleep.
Keith
Yeah, dude.
Amandi
Yeah.
Keith
Well, they drink coffee and whiskey weirdly.
Amandi
Like, I just want to know. I'm like, whoa. What is that?
Keith
Like, not good.
Amandi
Anyways, it's not good. So. Yeah.
Keith
That'S.
Amandi
That's us.
Kiss Kiss
Yep.
Keith
Have fun with that. I'm watching cartoons.
Amandi
I can't. Cartoons. After a while.
Keith
Watching Family makes me feel. No, actually.
Amandi
Really?
Keith
You want to know what, you guys. So. So if you're at a hotel, you're trying to find true crime.
Kiss Kiss
Forensic Files.
Keith
Forensic Files. Because me. Me, I'm In a hotel. I immediately. There's one show that I look for, and it's Family Feud. And it's always on.
Kiss Kiss
Yep.
Keith
And it's incredible. There is no show I think I have more fun watching than Family Feud. It is incredible.
Amandi
It makes it cringe sometimes.
Keith
Oh, and that's the best part, where it's like the.
Amandi
The one aunt who really, really sucks at the game. And they're all just like, it's always.
Keith
An aunt, it's always an ant, and she's at the end, and you can tell, they're just like, we needed to bring a fifth person, and she was all we had.
Amandi
She's all dressed up. They're all in matching shirts. She's like, I'm here.
Kiss Kiss
And they're still like, good answer. Good answer.
Amandi
Yeah, no, totally good answer.
Keith
Like saying the most insane you've ever heard in your life. And they're like, yeah. Oh, my God.
Kiss Kiss
Steve Harvey does a really great job.
Amandi
So good. He might be funny.
Keith
I think he's my favorite host of all time, really? Because he's just so funny with it. Like, he.
Kiss Kiss
He.
Keith
The way he navigates everything is so good. Cuz, like, he catches those cringe moments. Like, people say something outrageous and he always does the same thing. But it's funny every time where, like, a guy will be up there and it'll be just like, you know, name something you'd never say to your wife. And it's just like, he'd be like, you sure you're gonna wear those or something. And then he. He just does the like response. I'm just like, yeah, yeah. Walks off. And he's just like. He's like, yeah, you know, she's right over there. It's just so great. I laugh every time.
Amandi
I like that. That makes me feel comfortable. It's like watching Andy Cohen do reunions. Like, every time I watch him, I'm like, okay, I feel good about this because I don't usually like watching reunions, but I feel safe. Like, I like when the host. I don't know if they, like, diffuse the cringe or they just, like, play with the cringe and make it more grounded.
Keith
But I would say my two, two favorite hosts are. It's Steve Harvey and Conan O'Brien for. For different reasons. But Steve Harvey, when it comes to hosting, like, a game show, he just does it so well and he elevates it. Right. Like, Family Feud works without that, but he makes it so much more fun. And he. He layers the, like, moments, and he recognizes moments so well. But Andy Cohen's great when it comes to drama. Like, he's. He's there to. Like, really. It's incredible.
Amandi
What is his life? What is his life? I don't know.
Kiss Kiss
He's from Ohio.
Keith
Him with his 5 million suits.
Amandi
So you guys know each other? Obviously, because Ohio's small.
Keith
Yeah, Uncle Steve.
Amandi
Ohio's so small.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah, Uncle Steve. Yeah.
Amandi
Okay. Never have I ever had an online dating profile.
Kiss Kiss
Oh, I haven't.
Keith
Are you talking about, like, Tinder and Bumble stuff? All of it. Bumble and Tinder?
Amandi
Yeah.
Keith
Oh, yeah.
Kiss Kiss
You had one?
Keith
Oh, yeah. I use Bumble.
Amandi
What were your props? What was your answer?
Keith
I don't know. I don't think Bumble had prompts back when I was using it. This was, like, before. That was. That's hinge.
Amandi
You're thinking, can we find your profile?
Keith
No, I think I deleted it. I deleted it forever ago. So you never. You've never had.
Kiss Kiss
No, no. I'd rather meet in person.
Keith
Look, and. And here's the thing I've actively said. I. I don't really like them. I hate them. I don't like what dating apps have done to, like, the psyche. And I mean, look, it works for some people. I'm not gonna say, like, it totally does for some people. I just think the. Overall, it's been bad. And when I was on it, I stopped, Like, I was single and deleted them all. And I was still single for a long time after because I. I didn't like how it was affecting me.
Kiss Kiss
Really.
Keith
I was like, I didn't like it. Just like, I'm like, oh. I. I started to be like, I don't like that I'm swiping on people just based on just. Just immediate thing. I don't like what that's doing to me. And this. This is my.
Kiss Kiss
Morally, you felt wrong.
Keith
Yeah, morally. But I was also just like. On a psychological level, I'm like, it's not necessarily. I think it's, like, quote, unquote wrong. It's that I'm like, I don't like how this is making me feel about, like, how I view other people. And in my search for, like, finding someone.
Amandi
So none of them were cute.
Keith
There's tons of cute. But it's just. But it's also just like, it's tough.
Kiss Kiss
Because it's a photo.
Keith
And I'm also. I recognize at a certain point I'm like, I'm such an introvert that, like, I'm not gonna meet someone.
Amandi
Yeah.
Keith
This way.
Amandi
Were people, like, messaging you and you were chatting.
Keith
Yeah, I went on several dates.
Kiss Kiss
Really? Was that when we were at Becca Defy?
Keith
Yeah, we were back at Dubai.
Kiss Kiss
I do remember that era and like.
Keith
I met some cool people, but it was just like I, I also just without, like, I needed to like know people first.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah.
Keith
And like a first date is so tough when you really just don't have much because I, I just like to.
Kiss Kiss
Meet people in person.
Keith
Yeah. And. And there's so much that you get from like meeting people organically that it was hard through that, but it was, it was, you know. Yeah. I went on a couple, like, not much. Yeah. I want to say I went on like 2.
Kiss Kiss
I do remember that era. It was short lived.
Keith
I was short lived. It was, I was trying, but. But yeah, I don't know. And I just, I feel like I don't hear as much about dating apps nowadays.
Kiss Kiss
I mean, because everybody's on them.
Amandi
Everyone. Everyone's on them.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah, everyone's on them.
Amandi
There's so many are on them who like, I know are on them. Like a lot of my friends will be on them. They'll delete them. Then they're on them. They'll delete them and they're like, I'm back on them.
Keith
I feel like the ratio of people who are in successful relationships from dating apps when everyone is on dating apps is like very low.
Kiss Kiss
Hold on, I want the success rate.
Keith
Is not very high.
Kiss Kiss
One of my friends, he's from Ohio. His name's Benny. I'm gonna, I'm gonna shout bitty out.
Amandi
I love when you shout out people.
Kiss Kiss
That bitty's like my homeboy, like incredible guy, right. He was going on dates on. I don't know if it was like bumble or which one it was, but he was seeing some girls off the, off the shit. And pretty much there was this one girl, he was about to move to Thailand, right. And he ended up meeting this girl and they're still seeing each other.
Keith
Wow.
Kiss Kiss
They like actually love each other. Like it is the sweetest thing because she's so normal. She's like one of the boys. When we all hang out, she comes, hangs out and she's like the sweetest. She'll text like if we're all hanging out together and she's not there, she's like. Usually he texts me. Just making sure you guys are good, you know, Just like, she's like the sweetest thing. When she went to go visit him, he was back in Ohio visiting family for a bit before he moved to. Before he moves To Thailand. And she ended up going to visit him. And she ended up. My birthday was around the time she was out there. She was like, hey, I'm going to Ohio. Do you want like a care package? Like, she looks out for his friends. Like one of the best people that I met.
Amandi
She's like, wait, is she from Thailand island?
Kiss Kiss
No, no, no, no, no. He's going to move. But then, you know, he hasn't moved yet. I think he's gonna go for a bit. But it's one of those situations where I'm like, there is hope for dating sites.
Keith
100.
Kiss Kiss
I'm not for it. But like. But when I seen that for him, I was like, oh my God. Like, this is beautiful.
Keith
To be fair, you can meet definitely someone through any means, right? Like, it's not that it's like, oh, it's impossible. It's just. I don't know, I didn't like, I was starting to like, think about things I would never think about.
Amandi
Yeah.
Keith
Because you start to be like, oh, you're assessing all this information and. And I'm like, I don't care about any of this. Right. I just want to meet someone and have fun with them.
Amandi
I'm so.
Keith
I. For me, I recognized. I was like, this is good for me.
Amandi
I'm just so interested. I'm like, so. Because so many people I know are on it. So I'm so interested, like, how does it work? Because like, I hear a lot of like bad stories about it. But then I also hear like, oh, you're like hanging out with this person for a while.
Kiss Kiss
Yep.
Keith
Yeah.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah, for sure.
Shane
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Keith
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Kiss Kiss
People get bored. You know, this is just social social media. That's all it is. Truly. It's just another. Another app, another something. Something.
Amandi
Yeah.
Kiss Kiss
But that brings me to my next one. Put those.
Amandi
Yours are good. Yeah, I only have one down.
Keith
I've got. I've got four left.
Kiss Kiss
You're gonna both put a finger down because never have I ever been married.
Keith
Damn.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah, put that. Put them fingers down.
Amandi
I'm not.
Kiss Kiss
Wait.
Keith
I lied.
Amandi
Things have happened. It's been a crazy year. No, I'm just kidding.
Keith
But you were married.
Amandi
So weird. Yeah, I'm almost married.
Keith
Two years. Years.
Kiss Kiss
Yes.
Amandi
Which is crazy.
Kiss Kiss
Time is flying.
Amandi
We've been together almost 10.
Kiss Kiss
Damn.
Keith
Damn.
Amandi
10 years.
Kiss Kiss
Time is flying.
Amandi
That is insane.
Keith
Pretty cool.
Amandi
Yeah. It's like, I always. I always thought that when you're with someone for that long, you're like, oh, my God. It must get, like, old and routine for me. It's not. Because every year I'm like, huh? Every year I'm like, who are you?
Kiss Kiss
Whoa. Okay.
Amandi
That's interesting. Like, yeah, I love it. It's great.
Keith
Hell yeah, dude. Yeah.
Kiss Kiss
Oh, my God. I used to say getting married is for quitters. You guys are making me feel like one day I do want to. You know, it has to be.
Amandi
It Has. Honestly, it has to be a person. For me, I told H. I was like. The moment you say, like, you know, I'm a simple man. I just. I. I'm like, that's. That'll be the death of our marriage. Like, just saying, like, let's do whatever you want. I'm a simple man. Blah, blah. I know some people want that, but for me, I don't enjoy that. Like, he's always transforming, always changing, always coming up with, like. That's what you don't think about when you're, like, younger and think about these people in these long relationships. Maybe it was our generation and our parents. A minor divorce, where you're just like, oh, my God, this person never changes. And it's like the same thing, but. But for me, I'm like, that's not how I'm experiencing this long relationship.
Kiss Kiss
That's beautiful.
Amandi
Every year is super different and new and.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah.
Keith
Yeah. You got to keep living. Got to keep growing.
Amandi
Yeah.
Keith
Yeah, Absolutely.
Kiss Kiss
That's beautiful. I'm gonna get married today.
Amandi
I'm getting married today. No. Will you drive me?
Keith
No.
Kiss Kiss
Drive me to my wedding.
Keith
You gotta make it to the altar, Keith. No.
Kiss Kiss
Drive me to my wedding.
Amandi
I just see. I just see you and. No Noah. Friends forever and him taking you around.
Kiss Kiss
Yep. My partner Noah's gonna try.
Keith
God damn.
Amandi
I didn't get married, but I got Noah. He's like.
Kiss Kiss
The thing is, Noah would be there, too. I know Noah. True.
Amandi
He's such a good friend.
Kiss Kiss
He's a ride or die for sure. And I am, too, because I've been in that passenger seat and almost died so many times. So many times. God is good because I'm still here. Oh, my God.
Keith
At a certain point, God's gonna be like, stop getting in that car.
Amandi
I can't anymore, you guys.
Keith
So many favors.
Kiss Kiss
Oh, my God. He'll, like, kind of pushes the acceleration up a little. A little bit, and he'll go and, like, press on the brake really fast, like. And I'm like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. He's like, nope, not today. And I'm like, yeah, not today. Let's not do that.
Amandi
God, Noah just cracks me the fuck up.
Kiss Kiss
He's different. That. That is one friend of mine who I will say, sometimes I call him him. I'll be watching something, and, you know, a certain topic will come up, and I'll call him just to hear his take, because his takes are so, like. Noah has his own way of, like, thinking.
Amandi
Yes.
Kiss Kiss
He really has his own way of thinking. And I'm like, let me hear what he's gonna say today. And he, like, sometimes he starts out so, like, you know, so common and, like, just the way that everybody else thinks. And he'll start very grounded, and by the end, he will flip it on me and he will say some shit was like, that's what I waiting for.
Ryan Seacrest
Yep.
Kiss Kiss
And he's consistent every time.
Amandi
It's. It's magic. He just said, like. I'm just like, wow, your brain.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah. How'd you come up with that?
Amandi
He's like, it's always been here. It's always been here.
Kiss Kiss
Oh, he's insane. He's crazy.
Keith
Yeah.
Kiss Kiss
He's insane. That's my boy.
Amandi
I love it. Love it.
Keith
I'm at three.
Kiss Kiss
I'm at four, I think. Okay.
Keith
God damn it. Okay. All right. Never have I ever had a stranger ask to buy me a drink.
Amandi
Oh, definitely.
Kiss Kiss
That's every day. I'm not an alcoholic, but that's every day.
Amandi
That's every day.
Keith
I never have.
Amandi
It's actually kind of fun.
Kiss Kiss
Shane doesn't go out.
Amandi
Shane. Here's the thing.
Keith
I've been out plenty.
Amandi
I want Shane to go to a bar by himself. Did you hear how he said, what do you say? Tennessee is enjoyable, but I've also gone.
Keith
Out a lot in my life, and. No, no. Never really ever.
Amandi
I want you to just go to a bar by yourself and read a book, and I swear to God, you are gonna have someone buy you a drink. Like, today you had a bar with a book. Are you kidding me?
Kiss Kiss
No.
Amandi
Look at this boy. He's just like, I want to go.
Keith
To the loudest bar. I want to be at, like, a club. Just, like, reading a book.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah, for sure.
Amandi
They're everywhere. When I was bartending, we always had that one guy who most women were like, who's that? And he was always reading, reading, like, some book, either historical fiction or a novel. And he was just sitting there with a martini or a scotch, and he's just, you know, looking around a little bit, and he's sitting there, and you're like, everything okay? It's like, everything's okay.
Keith
Instead of dating apps, that's what I should have done. I should have been at a bar reading a book. And the book is titled, like, how to Be really Good at, and I'm there.
Amandi
And it's like, Shane, you would get a gallon of cocktails.
Keith
Yeah.
Amandi
You would get. When we were behind the bar, literally, we would be like, get the mop. This one.
Kiss Kiss
Get the mop.
Amandi
Get the Mop, man. We gotta get the mop on seat four. And I'd be like, yes, I see that.
Kiss Kiss
Get the mop.
Amandi
It was just like. It was just. If you had a book that said how to be good at you, you would have six martinis in front of you. You'd just be like, yep, thank you. And they'd be like, that's so crazy. What are you reading?
Keith
You would have a choice to make some light reading. I don't know.
Amandi
I'm not kidding. I'm not kidding. Well, I mean, you're married now, but, like, just. Hey, listen, it worked out just for the experiment. You know what? Courtney can be in a booth over there and watch you.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah, just make it a video. Just make it a video.
Amandi
I would love nothing.
Keith
We're doing a little experiment today, dude.
Amandi
When Garthy used to bartend, I used to sit a little far away and just sit with my little drink and be like. And pretend that he wasn't my husband. It was the best. Because people say shit around you that they don't know. And then like, one time. One time we worked together for like a month, and I didn't tell. I didn't say that we were dating or husband or anything. And it was so fun.
Kiss Kiss
It was so fun. People talking.
Amandi
People were talking. People weren't really talking, but they were just like, oh, yeah. Sometimes they would complain. Sometimes they would be like, oh, blah, blah, blah. Sometimes, like, oh, my God, that girl is just there just sitting at the bar, talking to blah, blah, blah. Like, he's not even paying attention.
Keith
I was like, that bartender doesn't like you.
Amandi
Let me just go see. No, I actually. I liked it. I enjoyed it.
Keith
It so funny.
Amandi
It's like a fun social experiment.
Keith
Sure.
Amandi
When you work in bars for so long, I mean, you just see everything. It's just like. It's all there. A reality show. It's happening in one bar.
Kiss Kiss
I love that. I love a trashy reality show.
Amandi
Me too. Anyways, well, just saying, if you want to do that, I'll orchestrate it.
Keith
Okay.
Kiss Kiss
Courtney will be there.
Amandi
Courtney will love it. Did I. I cannot hold up my fingers. Look at. At this.
Keith
I think you're at three, right?
Kiss Kiss
Okay.
Amandi
This is true. Never have I ever called out sick because I was faking it. We've all done that, like, ever. Like, even at school.
Kiss Kiss
That was. School was a, like, every Friday for me.
Amandi
See, I was like. My mom was so aggressive. She, like, unless you're throwing up on your deathbed, you're going, My mom would.
Kiss Kiss
Have Me sign the notes. She's like, keith, you going? Are you going to school today?
Amandi
Day?
Kiss Kiss
No, mom. Okay. Sign my name. Wow. Yeah. I was a good kid.
Amandi
I just wish. I wish for once it was like some days you just didn't want to go.
Keith
Yeah.
Amandi
And like. But I never. So I think that carried on. So. I always felt really guilty. I was like, I can't call out. But then it would be worse because then you'd show up feeling, like, not great.
Keith
Yeah. Anyways, I. I don't think I ever did in school. But granted, I also didn't, like, go to a physical high school. Oh.
Amandi
Or here at Smosh, but here at.
Keith
Smos, I don't think I ever have either. I. I definitely don't think I have. No.
Amandi
Okay. Well, that one was fun.
Kiss Kiss
Oh. Never have I ever. Sorry. Did you just fall asleep on me? Did you just fall asleep on me?
Keith
No.
Kiss Kiss
I gotta.
Keith
I gotta find a good one.
Kiss Kiss
That's messed up. That's messed up.
Keith
We're here.
Kiss Kiss
Okay. Sorry, guys. Okay, I'm Got one.
Keith
Okay.
Kiss Kiss
Never have I ever been on a cruise.
Amandi
Unfortunately, I have.
Keith
And that was. That was recent that I got to go on one. And it was.
Amandi
Your cruise was cool.
Keith
That was sick. That was a sick opportunity.
Amandi
My cruise was interesting.
Keith
Yeah.
Kiss Kiss
Oh, I think we talked about it here.
Amandi
Yeah. My cruise was like, it was my first time. It wasn't my first time on a cruise. I went on a cruise when I was like a little kid, but as an adult, I felt pretty claustrophobic the whole time. I was just like, oh, and the food.
Keith
Now I went on. I went on.
Amandi
I think for me. I don't think cruises are just for me. Some people love it, right? Mine's. Mine was a week. Mine was in Alaska.
Keith
Mine was three days, which was perfect.
Amandi
Three days.
Keith
Three days is awesome fun. Get to experience it. Get to get off and you're done.
Kiss Kiss
Do you guys get, like motion sick at all? Like one day?
Amandi
Well, you really don't. But one day it was a bit stormy, so the boat was, like, tipped for a long time one way and a long way. And I felt pretty sick. For me, I felt a little trapped. Like everywhere you went, there were tons of people. Like, loud ass music. There was never any, like, quiet time for me. And I need that sometimes to recharge. And also, like, you couldn't get anywhere. It took you forever. There were so many people.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah.
Amandi
And the hot tub. There was four hot tubs.
Kiss Kiss
That sounds fun.
Amandi
Like thousands of people. I think I was also with my niece and nephew and they were like diving into the hot tub and I.
Keith
Was just like, yeah, well, that sounds like crazy.
Amandi
You should go.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah, I think I'm going.
Amandi
I think you would enjoy.
Kiss Kiss
I just get motion sick, like even being in a car, really do a.
Amandi
Little patch of Dramamine. My. My brother in law also, he wore it every day.
Kiss Kiss
Really?
Amandi
Okay, so you put it on before you like every day there's a patch? Yeah, you can put it right.
Keith
I just know about the like pill form.
Amandi
So you can put it right behind your ear as you start. And. And you're totally fine. You just feel a little tired.
Kiss Kiss
That's fine. You'll be fine. I have a lot of energy, so.
Amandi
Like you'll be fine.
Kiss Kiss
You would probably down to about a 10.
Amandi
You would probably love it because it's also like, you're also free. Like if you do the package or whatever. You can just go get drinks whenever you want. Yes, go get food whenever you want.
Kiss Kiss
Oh my God.
Keith
No, it was wild.
Kiss Kiss
Can you guys like put that together for me?
Keith
Okay, we'll send you on a cruise.
Amandi
I'll set up his bar date with his wife and I'll set up the cruise. And also at the cruise with you. You want princess? You want Caribbean? Well, some of them are not so good.
Kiss Kiss
I think I would do Caribbean. I've heard of that one, right?
Amandi
Royal Caribbean. Some of them are not so good. Some people get sick.
Keith
Okay. We've talked about driving, we've talked about boats. Never have I ever missed a flight.
Kiss Kiss
Shut up, Shane. You know, I've missed.
Amandi
Absolutely have missed a flight.
Keith
Not because of me, not because he. Doesn't matter.
Amandi
My mom is a legend of missing flights.
Keith
Really?
Amandi
Oh, she. It is her job to push it to the last minute.
Keith
That's why she loves.
Amandi
She actually is stubborn as hell. She'll be like, I'm not getting up there. I'm gonna enjoy my food. I am not going to line up. And she'll miss.
Kiss Kiss
Oh, damn.
Amandi
One time we were drinking a margarita and she missed an entire flight.
Keith
So you're at the airport.
Amandi
Yeah. 100.
Keith
So you already have gone through the work of getting to the airport and then you missed the flight. You've done that?
Kiss Kiss
Yeah. Yep, I've done it. I slept at the.
Keith
Oh, you fell asleep at the airport.
Kiss Kiss
Yep. Yep.
Keith
No, that's wrong.
Amandi
Recent.
Kiss Kiss
No, this was years ago. This was back defy days for sure. I've missed so many flights. I mean, even when we had to film in Sacramento every two weeks, I was. I missed some flights.
Keith
My Favorite, though, was when you one time showed up a day early to.
Kiss Kiss
A flight, and it was actually on Easter. I went on a Sunday. It was Easter. And I was like, why is my number not working? I was just trying to type it in. I'm like, 857-6588, BC.
Amandi
Keith.
Keith
Keith sends us all a photo of him just, like, just at the airport.
Kiss Kiss
Awful.
Keith
What did you do?
Kiss Kiss
I just went back home.
Amandi
Yeah.
Kiss Kiss
Went to the airport the next day.
Amandi
I was gonna say. You didn't stay there?
Kiss Kiss
No, no.
Keith
The whole routine of getting up and.
Kiss Kiss
Going to the airport, I've done it a few times.
Keith
I. I refuse to miss a flight. I would just hate it.
Amandi
No, they're terrible.
Keith
I don't.
Amandi
I haven't missed one. I mean, now that I'm not, like, flying every time with my mom, like, I, I. But as a kid, my mom would take any deal as well. So we got bumped. She was like, we are not going. We're taking the money.
Kiss Kiss
Really?
Keith
I mean, hey, 100. There's been times where I've been tempted, right? Like, if I'm flying by myself. And they're like, yeah, we're offering, like, a 500 thing. It's like, dude, like, I did it.
Amandi
Once with H, and it was super worth it. We got, like, vouchers, and we were able to do, like, two other flights.
Keith
Sometimes if you're not in a rush, take it.
Amandi
Yeah.
Keith
But it's rare.
Amandi
Rare.
Keith
That's wild. So when you're. When you guys miss the flight, is your mom the type that's like, she's.
Amandi
Super angry at everyone.
Keith
She's the mad.
Amandi
She's like, well, somebody should have been on the clock. And you're like, you did this.
Keith
You literally just did this.
Amandi
She's like, I don't know what we're gonna do. It's always pants. No, my mom at the airport is not enjoyable.
Keith
I would lose my mind.
Amandi
I love her so much. She's such a savvy traveler. Killer. And I love with her. But at the airport.
Kiss Kiss
Oh, no, no.
Amandi
Bad, bad, bad. She's just like. Like, when me and my sister went to Bolivia and we were young and I get it. She got stressed, but she was fine, fine, fine up until we cross the security. And she was like, I shouldn't be letting you girls do this. What's happening? Do we have the right document? Documents? Like, she just.
Keith
Does your mom draw attention from strangers?
Amandi
My daughters are going to Bolivia by themselves. I don't know if I'm making the right decision. I'm like, oh, my God. Oh, yeah. This is probably why I hate movies like Meet the Parents or anything cringy. Because she's just one of those who just.
Keith
Dude, People who, like, cause a scene at the airport are unfortunately. I love them.
Kiss Kiss
Yes.
Keith
When I'm at the airport, this is the me at my most toxic is if I'm at the airport and drama breaks out. I am like, can I. Like, I need to find a seat closer to this.
Amandi
Not when you're in it.
Keith
Like, not when I'm in it.
Amandi
Oh, not when she screams.
Kiss Kiss
Girls, girls, girls. Get your bags.
Amandi
And you're just. Just like, I don't know if the driver's gonna show up. I it on ebay. I bet on this trip, my mom is just like, everything's like a bet. One time we went to Italy and the whole thing was on a bet. Anyways, there's online where you can bet on trips. She's a gambler. It's fine.
Kiss Kiss
Listen, I love your mom.
Amandi
You just get to a place and she's like, I don't know if we're gonna get to this place. I don't know if it's real, but.
Shane
We'Re gonna get there.
Amandi
Yeah.
Keith
Holy. I know.
Kiss Kiss
Oh, my.
Amandi
Maybe that's why I'm like, try to be too stable. Anyways, we can dig into that another time. I'm out.
Kiss Kiss
Never have I ever. You ready? Yeah, I'm ready.
Amandi
Justice, Shane. Fine with me.
Kiss Kiss
Never. Yeah, you're. You're out of it.
Amandi
Yeah, I'm out.
Kiss Kiss
Never have I ever been out of the country.
Keith
Really? You never have?
Kiss Kiss
Well, I've never been out of the country.
Amandi
Honey, we gotta get you to drive, and we gotta get you out of this country.
Kiss Kiss
We gotta. We gotta.
Keith
Where would you want to. To go, huh? Where would you want to go?
Amandi
To hell, no. No, that's not out of the house.
Keith
You don't have to leave the country.
Kiss Kiss
Oh, oh, oh. I would want to go to, I don't know, Mexico.
Amandi
Hell yeah.
Kiss Kiss
No, no, no. Like, truly, I would probably want to go to somewhere in South America. My friend Roland is there right now. He's like, actor. I forget where he's at exactly, but he's been, like, just traveling. He like. He's an actor and everything, and he's like, you know, he's good. So he was like, you know what? I just want to.
Amandi
I love America.
Kiss Kiss
And he just like, packed all his up and left. And he's like, keith, you gotta come and visit me. I was like, gotta get a passport first before I do that.
Amandi
Passport and a backpack.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah.
Amandi
Like a good backpack.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah. So. Yeah, I've never been out of the country.
Amandi
I think I have one if you want to borrow one.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah.
Amandi
Yep.
Kiss Kiss
I would appreciate that.
Keith
Yep.
Kiss Kiss
But I have to get my passport first. You do.
Keith
You do have to get your.
Amandi
You actually do.
Keith
Yeah. It'd be funny if you went to another country and got your license there.
Kiss Kiss
That would be interesting.
Keith
You know how to drive. If you learn how to drive on the left side the road, that be really funny for the. Okay, so we're both at one.
Kiss Kiss
Yep.
Keith
Amanda, do you have any left?
Kiss Kiss
Oh, yeah. She could like.
Keith
I could throw one out and just kill me. Kill you.
Amandi
But I don't know.
Kiss Kiss
You should do it.
Amandi
I don't know if this will get any of you.
Keith
I wrote a shot. Just give it a shot.
Amandi
Okay. Never have I ever walked in on a family member doing it.
Kiss Kiss
Oh, my God.
Keith
I. I haven't.
Kiss Kiss
Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm going to talk about this. This is going to be a great story.
Amandi
Okay.
Kiss Kiss
I'm not going to go in details, but I'm going to give you take it away. Something. Something. So I remember I was playing with my race cars.
Keith
I'm in my room, as one does.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah. I'm in my room and I'm playing my race cars.
Keith
And they just have really getting into it.
Kiss Kiss
And I decided to go to my parents room. Yeah, I remember I opened that door and I seen what I seen. And when I seen what I seen, everything within me just left my body. Everything. I was like, what the heck? And I ran. I ran to my room, to my race car so fast. Because I knew something was wrong. Something was wrong. That what they were doing wasn't right. I didn't like what I seen. I just knew it was wrong. Something within me. So I started playing my race cars. Of course it takes them a few minutes. Cause they're like, what do you know?
Amandi
Yeah, they saw you.
Kiss Kiss
They saw me. We saw each other. Ooh, Ooh.
Amandi
No, thank you. It was like, ding, ding, ding, ding.
Kiss Kiss
So I started playing my race cars and they're going fast again. And like that's how fast my mind's going at this point. So it's like, I'm like, oh, my God. And I remember my parents coming in. Of course they're clothed now. Of course they got on their clothes. They're like, Keith, like, it's like, now we need to kind of have the talk. But I'm still, like, really young. Yeah, but like, are you okay? Like, what's wrong? I did not talk to them for three hours, y'all. And a kid not talking to their parents. Parents. Because they were wrong. They should not have been doing that. They should not have been doing that. Whatever they were doing. Oh, nasties. I just knew they were wrong, you.
Amandi
Know, of course, when you're that young, it. It looks wrong.
Kiss Kiss
So I didn't talk to them for like a few hours. And I probably got hungry. What y'all got Are willing to put.
Keith
This past us if you give me some app.
Kiss Kiss
We talk about that later, you know?
Amandi
Holy. Did they bring it up when you were. Again, not for real.
Kiss Kiss
I don't think any of us wanted to. But I remember talking about it when we were older, you know, when I was older.
Keith
Like a couple months ago.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah, but that wasn't the only time.
Amandi
Damn. Holy. Y. I knew it. I was like, I hope this gets someone.
Kiss Kiss
Yeah. Did. Did that just make me lose, though?
Keith
You lost?
Amandi
Yeah. You lost.
Keith
I won.
Amandi
Shane won.
Kiss Kiss
But I won one.
Keith
You won one.
Amandi
Keith won. Shane won. I lost.
Keith
Yes.
Amandi
Big time.
Keith
That's right.
Amandi
I lost.
Kiss Kiss
Shout out to all the losers out there.
Amandi
Yeah, baby. We're co.
Kiss Kiss
Cool.
Amandi
We're floating.
Keith
Keith, thanks for. Thanks for being here, man.
Kiss Kiss
Absolutely. Yes. I'm glad to be here. Whenever you guys want to play the shot game, I'll come back again.
Keith
Okay.
Amandi
Okay. I'm in.
Keith
All right, Great.
Amandi
Let's do it.
Keith
All right. We're gonna send Keith on a cruise.
Amandi
And get his license.
Kiss Kiss
And my passport.
Amandi
And your passport.
Keith
We're doing it all. Bye, guys. See you later.
Kiss Kiss
Bye. Hello.
Shane
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Keith
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Smosh Mouth Episode #88 - "Never Have I Ever" with Keith Leak Jr.
Release Date: April 7, 2025
Hosts: Shayne Topp (Short), Amanda Lehan-Canto (Tall)
Guest: Keith Leak Jr.
The episode kicks off with Shayne and Amanda warmly welcoming their guest, Keith Leak Jr., to the show. Keith brings his unique energy to the table, setting the stage for an engaging conversation.
Notable Quote:
The hosts delve into a nostalgic discussion about Ellen DeGeneres, reminiscing about her early days as a beloved and revolutionary TV host. They highlight Ellen's positive influence and the subsequent backlash she faced, expressing their disappointment over her negative portrayal later on.
Notable Quotes:
The conversation shifts to music, specifically Fetty Wap's unexpected resurgence despite his legal issues. Keith expresses confusion over Fetty Wap's continued presence in the music scene while acknowledging his past contributions.
Notable Quotes:
Excitement builds as the trio announces the commencement of the "Never Have I Ever" game. They recall their previous game sessions and express eagerness to uncover new insights about each other through the game.
Notable Quote:
The game unfolds with a series of "Never Have I Ever" statements, each revealing personal anecdotes and fostering deeper connections among the hosts and their guest.
Keith shares his struggles with obtaining a driver's license, humorously highlighting his reliance on friends like Noah for driving lessons.
Notable Quotes:
The hosts discuss their fascination with true crime series like "Forensic Files" and "The First 48," debating the psychological impact and their personal viewing habits.
Notable Quotes:
Amanda reveals her impending marriage, sparking a heartfelt discussion on maintaining excitement and growth in long-term relationships. Keith and Kiss express their support and share their perspectives on commitment.
Notable Quotes:
Keith voices his skepticism toward dating apps, explaining how they adversely affected his perception of relationships. Amanda shares her curiosity and desire to understand the dynamics of online dating.
Notable Quotes:
A lighthearted segment ensues as the hosts recount humorous and chaotic stories of missing flights. Amanda highlights her mother's infamous track record, while Keith maintains his resolve to avoid such mishaps.
Notable Quotes:
As the episode winds down, the hosts reflect on the day's conversations and the fun they've had playing "Never Have I Ever." They express gratitude for Keith's participation and hint at future episodes featuring similar interactive segments.
Notable Quote:
Nostalgia vs. Reality: The hosts navigate the contrast between their fond memories of Ellen DeGeneres' early show and the subsequent controversies, emphasizing the unpredictability of public figures' careers.
Impact of Legal Issues on Popularity: Keith's discussion about Fetty Wap highlights how legal troubles don't necessarily diminish an artist's market presence, reflecting on the complexities of celebrity culture.
Personal Growth in Relationships: Amanda's insights into her long-term relationship underscore the importance of continuous growth and adaptability to maintain a vibrant partnership.
Skepticism Toward Online Dating: Keith's critical view of dating apps sheds light on the broader societal implications and personal challenges associated with modern online dating platforms.
Humorous Anecdotes Enhance Engagement: Sharing personal stories about missing flights and other travel mishaps adds relatability and humor, strengthening the connection between hosts and listeners.
Keith's Driving Struggles: Keith's humorous admissions about his reluctance to drive and reliance on friends add a light-hearted dynamic to the conversation.
“I think everybody else wants me to drive more than I want to.” [20:06]
Discussion on Long-term Relationships: The genuine conversation about marriage and maintaining excitement offers valuable perspectives on enduring love.
“Every year is super different and new.” [55:10]
Critique of Dating Apps: Keith's frank opinions on the psychological impact of dating apps resonate with many listeners navigating the complexities of modern relationships.
“I hate what dating apps have done to the psyche.” [48:54]
Travel Mishaps: Amanda's recounting of her mother's airport antics provides a mix of humor and chaos that listeners can find both amusing and relatable.
“She actually is stubborn as hell. She'll be like, I'm not getting up there.” [66:44]
Episode #88 of Smosh Mouth delivers a blend of humor, personal stories, and insightful discussions. With Keith Leak Jr. as a guest, the episode traverses topics from nostalgic television moments to the intricacies of modern relationships. The engaging "Never Have I Ever" game serves as a cornerstone, fostering genuine connections and entertaining revelations. Whether reminiscing about Ellen DeGeneres or debating the merits of online dating, the hosts maintain a lively and relatable conversation that caters to both long-time fans and newcomers alike.
Notable Advertisements Skipped:
These advertisements were present in the transcript but have been excluded from the summary to focus solely on the podcast's core content.