Loading summary
Ian Hecox
Ramble. Today's episode is sponsored by ZipRecruiter and Away Travel.
Shane Topp
Woo hoo. Now I'm swimming along and this big nurse shark appears on my right side. And I had to keep kicking it with my livers. And then on my other side, this barracuda shows up.
Ian Hecox
I got to experience one of my first times ever being racially profiled.
Shane Topp
Monica had a few pitches. She was like this sketch, this sketch. And Tinder for hot dogs was an idea I had. And I just go, yes.
Monica Vasandani
There's this like kind of character voice I do sometimes that my wife hates that I'm not allowed to do. And it's horny baby. Oh baby.
Ian Hecox
Wantica levels.
Monica Vasandani
Pee pee poo poo.
Ian Hecox
Pee pee poo poo.
Monica Vasandani
Pee pee kaka. Pee pee poo poo.
Shane Topp
Yeah. Hey, I'll be talking like this. Pee pee poo poo. Pee pee poo poo.
Ian Hecox
Well, guess what? It's another smosh cast. We're still alive. Yay. Oh, hello everybody. I'm joined today by Shane Topp and our wonderful illustrious writer, Monica Vasandani.
Monica Vasandani
Hi.
Ian Hecox
Hi. Thank you for coming, Monica.
Monica Vasandani
Thanks for having me.
Shane Topp
Thanks for being so illustrious.
Monica Vasandani
I'm super illustrious.
Ian Hecox
I heard that word not that long ago and I was like, that's a good word. I'm jacking it 100%.
Monica Vasandani
Don't know what that means.
Ian Hecox
Good.
Monica Vasandani
I'm a writer.
Ian Hecox
I can't tell you.
Shane Topp
With absolute imaginative. I'm guessing it's an illustrious like illustration. Like I think it's like a visually.
Ian Hecox
Like a very, like, it's obviously a good thing. Like if you've had an illustrious career, it's like a. It's a bountiful of good things.
Monica Vasandani
I think of it as the same, as voluptuous.
Shane Topp
Oh yeah. So that was weird.
Monica Vasandani
Ying but like really nice.
Shane Topp
But nice though.
Ian Hecox
I'm gonna look it up right now. Well known, respected and admired for past achievements.
Shane Topp
That is correct.
Ian Hecox
That's okay. Yeah. I mean, I don't know about respected, but I don't know where I was going with that. We'll cut that one out before we jump. Before we jump too much into this, I just want to give a huge shout out to y'all that are listening. You guys are super awesome. I looked at the itunes rating of the smoshcast. It has five friggin stars with over a thousand ratings. We did not ask you guys to do this. And you did it. And thank you. And if you feel like rating it and saying nice things about us still, I encourage it and keep it up. And thank you for listening. Of course. So I guess let's just jump right into. Monica, you told me like two days ago that when you first came on to Smosh, it took a while for you to warm up to me.
Monica Vasandani
That is correct. So 1. I thought you knew this.
Ian Hecox
No, I did not.
Monica Vasandani
Oh, boy. Okay.
Ian Hecox
So I'm very oblivious to things because.
Shane Topp
You'Ve been here for. It's been years.
Monica Vasandani
Almost three years.
Shane Topp
Yeah. So for three years you had no idea?
Ian Hecox
Nope.
Monica Vasandani
Okay, I'll explain myself. So when I first came on, I think my first week was Vidcon, so none of the cast was in. And then I think right around that time, you guys also shot Smosh games or summer games. So again, didn't really see you. And then you were working on the. You were calling ghost mates. Yeah, you were just this, like, person who existed, but I was like, oh, he doesn't actually come into the office. And then you showed up and it was like you and Anthony just giving me notes. And so I was like, okay, so this guy I don't know is gonna come in here and tell me I'm not funny. But, like, ultimately, at that time, I didn't understand Smosh's voice yet. So really what I was writing didn't work at all. But I didn't know how to take notes. And so, I don't know, just didn't like it.
Ian Hecox
So you're just kinda like, fuck that guy.
Monica Vasandani
Kinda.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, so I was a villain.
Monica Vasandani
Like, I knew that. I was like, oh, this is this thing you. And so I had respect for that. But at the same time, I was like, who's this guy?
Shane Topp
It's also tough. Cause at that point, you and Anthony had been making these sketches for so long, you guys had your system. And so you were trying to come in and write and help out with something, and you're thrown into a completely new territory that you're figuring out. And so you're getting all these notes and you're like, where is this coming from?
Ian Hecox
It's like a well worn wagon path, you know, like, we've taken our Oregon Trail wagons across this trail for, you know, 12 years, and we've worn in those ruts. So then the moment Monica comes in here and like a fucking tractor and just starts driving over our tracks, like, this is how you do it, right?
Monica Vasandani
Hey, guys, let's go left.
Ian Hecox
Yeah. And then we're like, whoa, that's not what we do. Here's some notes on how to drive a tractor our way. I don't know. This is a terrible analogy.
Monica Vasandani
I'm trying to wrap my head around it.
Ian Hecox
What I'm saying is, you know, way to judge me.
Monica Vasandani
I mean, eventually we got there. Yeah, because you were working so hard on other stuff. You also weren't writing anything at that time, so I didn't hear any jokes you had written, but you were like, I hate your jokes. But, like, wouldn't.
Ian Hecox
I don't think I said in those words.
Monica Vasandani
No, no, not in those words. Like, you were nice and diplomatic about it, but ultimately I got really sensitive, and so I was, like, so mean.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, that's. That's true. Because we were, like, 100% focused on. On getting Ghost Mates finished. And then, yeah, Smosh Summer Games. So, yeah, we really were just. God, that was a crazy time, like, because we were. We were doing so much crap at once. And I had totally forgotten that, like, because that was Smosh Summer Games camp, where we. We were often, like, some secluded forest area in the middle of, like, working on the shoot. Anthony and I would go off and give, like, notes on Ghost Mates and, like, figure that out. So to. To also have to be working on the sketches was. Was a little bit of a stretch.
Shane Topp
Yeah, there were definitely periods of time back then that were nuts, especially for you guys. And I feel like all of us went through that sort of phase that you went through of, like, a new guy joining a comedy brand that's been around for well over a decade. And you join and you're like, all right, how do I learn to learn this comedy's, you know, style while also bringing in my own. Because I'm sure early on I brought a bunch of sketches or ideas that it was just like, all right, cool. That's fun. In Shane's mind, how do we make this fit and work?
Monica Vasandani
So what if we all just yell?
Shane Topp
Yeah, well, you probably.
Ian Hecox
I mean, like, one of the first things that you brought, which was in your audition, was Tom Cruise working at a Subway.
Shane Topp
I was working at a Chipotle.
Ian Hecox
Chipotle. Yeah.
Shane Topp
Yeah.
Ian Hecox
And so we were like, okay. Like, obviously, your Tom Cruise impersonation was great. And we basically worked it into. Tom Cruise was our roommate.
Shane Topp
Yeah.
Ian Hecox
We were like, oh, what's a scenario that would actually make more sense in the smosh world? And then this fucking guy contacted us, like, six months later and was like, you stole my idea of Tom Cruise being a roommate. Like, we had to, like, come to this, like, agreement. Cause he was. I wanted to say that I would never.
Shane Topp
That I would never do Tom Cruise ever. Again on the channel or something.
Ian Hecox
It was dumb.
Shane Topp
It sucked. Cause we vividly remembered organically coming to the idea. And also our sketch beyond just the overall idea was so different. But I felt awful. Cause I was like, oh, great, I'm the worst person.
Monica Vasandani
And that's when you were new.
Shane Topp
I was brand new. And I was like, God, this sucks. What are the chances of this? And the sketch was seven years prior. So I'm like, I can't scour the Internet every time and be like, oh, this is relatively close.
Monica Vasandani
But I think now we're pretty good about assuming as we have an idea. And we're like, oh, this has some traction. We immediately just search everything for any combination of words just to make sure we're not doing it or something.
Shane Topp
It still scarred me with tweets, with everything. I'm like, has this been done before? And I'll often in pitch meetings, just pitching an idea. I'll be like, this may have been done before. I just want to get that out there. But this is my idea.
Monica Vasandani
And, you know, it's also like, everything's kind of been done before. Like, there are very few ideas that are 100% fresh, especially on YouTube, specifically. Because there are certain things that, you know, do well or that we go after. And it's. You sometimes have to be like, well, that's far away enough that we can still do this.
Shane Topp
Yeah.
Ian Hecox
I mean, especially if you're commenting on something pop culture. Yeah. Everyone's gonna have a take on that. Right. So it's not too absurd to think that two people in the entire universe are gonna have a similar thought. It was just. It was weird with the Tom Cruise roommate thing. We were just kinda like, fine.
Shane Topp
It wasn't a big deal.
Ian Hecox
It's not something we're gonna waste our time, like, you know, getting into a legal battle about.
Shane Topp
Right.
Monica Vasandani
I will say Macaulay Culkin tweeted something that I tweeted.
Ian Hecox
Oh, so you gotta get him verbatim.
Monica Vasandani
He added a word to the end.
Ian Hecox
Should we go after him?
Monica Vasandani
I think we should. I posted screens of both of our tweets. It got 10 likes, and no one really cared.
Ian Hecox
Oh, okay.
Shane Topp
In your defense, his tweet was, as an Indian woman, I feel how I.
Monica Vasandani
Start all of my tweets.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, all of your tweets.
Shane Topp
You said that.
Monica Vasandani
I'm glad they expanded the character count because I was really not getting much more in there.
Ian Hecox
That's how you could get around, like, having your stuff stolen. Just say, as an Indian American woman, this, this, this. Who Also has a little baby boy.
Monica Vasandani
Mm.
Ian Hecox
And then you have like, three characters left for your actual joke on your Twitter.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah, yeah, yeah, that sounds good.
Shane Topp
That's smart. Way to go, Ian.
Ian Hecox
So one thing that the viewers might notice, listeners can't see us. I'm sorry, but for some reason, we all wore pastel today.
Shane Topp
It was entirely planned on Monica and I's part. We brought it up yesterday. We go.
Monica Vasandani
And you were there when I wasn't listening. Yeah, well, you were 100% physically there.
Ian Hecox
That sounds about right.
Shane Topp
Yeah. I looked you dead in the eyes.
Ian Hecox
As I said it and I just.
Shane Topp
Blanked and I nodded.
Ian Hecox
I just had a soulless look in my eyes and went, uh huh. Sounds good.
Shane Topp
No, what was it? What was it? Was it two days ago that you were talking about or we were talking about Ian not paying attention?
Monica Vasandani
Yes.
Shane Topp
You entered and we were like, yeah, we were talking about something. And you're like, oh, yeah, that thing. And we're like, what thing are you thinking we're talking about? And you're like, oh, the thing. And we're like, I thought you said, what are you talking about? And then you lost track of what you were saying and forgot you were in a conversation.
Ian Hecox
Well, no, because I realized. I realized that I completely heard you guys wrong when I walked in because I. There's a big topic that I wanted to talk about on this podcast and I was coming in there excited to be like, hey, guys, we should talk about this. And then I could have fucking sworn that you guys were saying that as I walked in. So I was like, oh, my God, yes, let's talk about that. And you guys like, huh? And then I was like, what?
Shane Topp
It took us 10 solid minutes to.
Monica Vasandani
Coax it out of you because we kept asking what you were talking about, and you were, like, refusing to tell us until we told you what we were talking about.
Shane Topp
So weird.
Ian Hecox
Yeah. What were you guys talking about? I don't remember.
Shane Topp
I don't even listen. It wasn't important.
Monica Vasandani
It was probably like something mildly personal. Wait, no.
Shane Topp
Weren't we literally talking about Ian in meetings?
Monica Vasandani
No, that was because we were talking about someone feeling worthless.
Shane Topp
Oh, well, there you go.
Monica Vasandani
Someone.
Ian Hecox
I'm worthless in meetings?
Shane Topp
No, you're not worthless in meetings. No, no, That's a different subject.
Monica Vasandani
That's different.
Ian Hecox
What is going on? Oh, Shane, you're getting adjusted.
Shane Topp
I'm getting adjusted for those who are just listening on audio. Someone came in and that someone has a name. I've thrown up a little bit on my church.
Ian Hecox
Kevin, our producer, Producer Kevin.
Shane Topp
Sorry. You know, Vinarty also stood up. There was people moving around. Someone put a weird hat on me.
Ian Hecox
Someone gave you a little handy under the table.
Shane Topp
Yes. Now, that wasn't Kevin. I don't know who did that.
Monica Vasandani
How do I get in on that?
Ian Hecox
Surprise.
Shane Topp
Great.
Monica Vasandani
I'm waiting.
Ian Hecox
Well, you have to earn your keep here at smosh. That doesn't come until you unlock year five.
Monica Vasandani
Okay.
Shane Topp
I'm not even on year five.
Ian Hecox
I can't.
Monica Vasandani
Shane, his handy early.
Shane Topp
I'm not even on year four yet.
Ian Hecox
What?
Shane Topp
I'm not really. Not yet.
Ian Hecox
Are you sure?
Shane Topp
I am 100% positive.
Ian Hecox
When did you start?
Shane Topp
I started in June.
Ian Hecox
Okay. But, like, we were talking June probably around this time, right?
Shane Topp
Yeah.
Ian Hecox
It took a while to finalize.
Shane Topp
Took a while to coax me in.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Shane Topp
I was like, outside, and you're like. You're like, come on, Come on. And I'm like. And I, like, would get. I would be like, oh. And then I'd run away, and you'd have to get some bread and toss it, put it out in lines, and I'd, like.
Ian Hecox
And then the final thing that got him was the handy contract.
Shane Topp
Yeah, handy contract.
Ian Hecox
But I said, if you're. I said, if your biceps get swole enough, I can cut a year off that contract.
Monica Vasandani
Oh. So I just got to get swole cha.
Shane Topp
But you're already swole.
Monica Vasandani
Oh, my God. Thank you, Shane.
Shane Topp
I've gone rock climbing with. With Monica, and she kicks ass. Do you like.
Ian Hecox
Do you like rock climbing or bouldering better?
Monica Vasandani
So I just started bouldering, which, if you aren't familiar with climbing bouldering, is shorter walls and no ropes, but there are pads under you, so you just kind of hop off and then roped climbing taller walls. You're attached by a rope. And I started recently, and I actually really like it. I kind of roasted it for a while because there's definitely two different camps of climbers. And the people that I climbed with were also very anti bouldering, so we would just talk shit. And then I started doing it, and I fell in love.
Ian Hecox
Cause it's more, like technical, right? It's like small challenges, and you can constantly fail and then get back up and try to do it again.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah, you can really. You spend a lot of time getting one move right. Whereas I feel like sometimes when I'm on a taller wall, I'm just focused on moving on to the next part and not nailing the move really precisely.
Ian Hecox
Yeah. I freak out immediately once I get, like, five feet off the ground. I'm like, but what if my guy doesn't catch me? I'm a very risk aver first person. I, My dad was definitely more of the risk taker. He. He did hang gliding and all that stuff.
Shane Topp
That's crazy.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Monica Vasandani
Being like way up in the sky or being in the ocean really scares me.
Shane Topp
Yeah, ocean doesn't scare me, dude. It's. But it's the same type of feeling where it's weird because I remember when I was younger we would go to Key west and go fishing and we'd be out like 15, 20 miles. And there was one vivid memory I have of just jumping into the ocean. Just like I was in my swim trunks and I was like, let's just jump in. It's just like, we don't know. You don't belong there where this goes. My great, great, great ancestors were fish.
Ian Hecox
Have you heard of.
Shane Topp
Okay.
Ian Hecox
Have you heard of thalassophobia?
Shane Topp
That's what, that's what. Yeah. The fear of the deep.
Ian Hecox
Is it open water or it's. It's compulsive fear of the sea or really any deep, dark body of water.
Monica Vasandani
I don't think that I have a compulsive fear. I just were not meant to be there.
Shane Topp
I will admit there was a time when I was snorkeling and the water can get really murky. Whatever. And I was probably like 9 years old and I was swimming along and my dad was spearfishing so he would sometimes just go way ahead and he would leave me just like kinda by myself.
Ian Hecox
Nope.
Shane Topp
And there was a time the water was really murky probably. And there's these fish called tarpon and they can get up to like 8, 9ft. No, not. But like 6, 7ft. Right big. So like a school of just massive ones suddenly just like comes towards me and they like, they just appear. So you just suddenly see these massive things and they're so close to you. It's really trippy that it's just all this stuff is always around.
Monica Vasandani
Did one touch you?
Shane Topp
No, but you will touch things. Like things get so close. There was a time when my dad was. He was. He had some fish that he'd killed and he gave me the ring of dead fish. I had three dead fish. I'm like, he was a shark bait. And I'm swimming along and this big nurse shark appears on my right side and is like, I'm gonna take those. Like, I'm gonna get those. And this shark is way bigger than me, but I know it's not a shark that'll kill me. But it's swimming towards me and I had to keep kicking it with my louvers. And then on my other side, this barracuda shows up.
Ian Hecox
Oh yeah.
Shane Topp
And barracudas are actually terrifying.
Ian Hecox
Those are frightening.
Shane Topp
They look like a Disney villain. And it's trying to get it on my. So I'm sandwiched between them both and I'm like, I'm kinda trying to yell, but I have a snorkel in my mouth.
Monica Vasandani
So to confirm, your dad left you.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Monica Vasandani
And you didn't die. So then he was like, hold these fish. I'll be back in. Shark and fish, we do that all the time.
Shane Topp
Actually my brother when he was younger, this is years prior, same situation, a shark did bite his hand with the ring of fish and, and bit the Gl. Lucky was wearing a glove, but it bit the. It took the glove off and took the ring. And he comes up and he goes, dad, I like whatever, like the shark bit the ring out of my hand and stuff. My dad goes, you lost the ring?
Ian Hecox
Oh my God. Oh my God.
Shane Topp
Very, very intense. My dad is insane when he gets in the water.
Ian Hecox
Shane, I don't know if this is too personal, but do you think your dad ever wanted kids or do you.
Shane Topp
Think he wanted to go out to the sea?
Monica Vasandani
Did he have a life insurance policy out on you?
Shane Topp
Maybe.
Ian Hecox
How often did.
Shane Topp
Hi, I'm gonna go out to the Ocean with my 8 year old son. I'd like to get just in case he dies. I want to make sure I get. Yeah.
Ian Hecox
How often did he make you hold the dead fish that are bleeding in the ocean and attracting sharks and barracudas?
Shane Topp
All the time. Oh my God.
Ian Hecox
Did he ever hold dead?
Shane Topp
It was only that one time and that really sucked because it didn't work out. So. Yeah, no, he gave up. He's like, ah, not this. The fish don't want him.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, well, nurse sharks aren't. Those aren't dangerous, right?
Shane Topp
Nurse sharks aren't dangerous, no, but they'll try to get fish if you have them. And same with barracudas. They're not dangerous. They're not gonna go for a person. But if you're wearing like, you shouldn't wear jewelry or anything, anything shiny. Cause fish will just go up and bite your ear off or something.
Ian Hecox
I'll take off all my earrings.
Monica Vasandani
Don't do it, Ian.
Ian Hecox
Sorry.
Monica Vasandani
It's just they're part of your personality.
Ian Hecox
I know. I look so cute who you are. Thank you. I'm sorry that, you know, your dad Tried to get you killed.
Shane Topp
It's okay. It made me who I am. A YouTuber.
Monica Vasandani
Disappointment.
Shane Topp
Disappointment. This is how Monica talks. Like, even when she is genuinely super excited, you're at this level. Like, it's always. I feel like you're always like, oh, yeah, I'm really excited about that.
Monica Vasandani
That's really cool. I feel it inside. It's there.
Ian Hecox
Also, Monica, you like to make people feel awkward. Like, sometimes you'll just. And I guess I do it sometimes, too, but, like, you'll be like, yeah, that's interesting. And then just stare.
Shane Topp
Can you make Ian feel awkward?
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Shane Topp
Cause I feel like it's not possible with him.
Ian Hecox
Well, I mean, there's a normal thing she does, but then also, horny baby. That's the best, though, Monica and I don't. How did horny baby even come across? How did that even come up?
Monica Vasandani
I don't remember how it came up. I think we were just talking about characters. Oh, here's what it was. I came in and I was like, oh, there's this kind of character voice I do sometimes that my wife hates that I'm not allowed to do. And it's horny baby. Baby want fucky. And so I wanted to do it at work because you can't get it out. It's fun to do. Yeah. And I can't do it at home.
Shane Topp
Oh, my God.
Ian Hecox
But then you busted out. I'm like. I'm like, oh, no.
Monica Vasandani
It feels bad. It feels bad to do it, but it's such a fun voice to do.
Ian Hecox
Does horny baby have any other. Any other lines?
Monica Vasandani
That's pretty much it.
Ian Hecox
That's it.
Monica Vasandani
It's a baby.
Shane Topp
Babies don't know many words.
Ian Hecox
They just know baby and want and fucky.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah.
Shane Topp
Yeah.
Ian Hecox
Great. I hope. I hope so many kids are listening to this podcast with their parents.
Monica Vasandani
I hope that my son does not unearth this.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Shane Topp
Oh, he will.
Ian Hecox
Okay. Tinder for Hot Dogs.
Shane Topp
Tinder for hot Dogs.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah. What about it?
Ian Hecox
Tinder for Hot Dogs was a sketch that you pitched well.
Monica Vasandani
So Shane and I were.
Ian Hecox
I still feel like we might do it.
Shane Topp
Oh, we're gonna do it at some point. And you know what? We're gonna do it. Hold on. Well, first, let's talk about Tinder for Hot Dogs.
Monica Vasandani
Yes.
Shane Topp
Because whenever Monica and I are, you know, it's like, hey. Sometimes they'll be like, hey, Monica, Shane, go come up with some ideas for stuff or write out some stuff. We need some new sketch pitches, whatever. And Monica and I, we'll hit on a Topic that we're like, that's it. That's gold.
Monica Vasandani
When usually it is not. Sometimes it is.
Shane Topp
Anyways, Monica had a few pitches. She was like, this sketch. This sketch. And Tinder for Hot dogs was an idea I had. And I just go, yes, Tinder for hot dogs.
Monica Vasandani
Like, this is obviously a great idea and viable.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Monica Vasandani
So, yeah. So then I pitched it at a pitch meeting, and no one gave it the respect it deserved.
Ian Hecox
Well, hold on. I'm pretty sure I said something akin to yes.
Shane Topp
I mean, dude, Tinder. Come on. First of all, beyond a sketch, it's a good idea. It's just a genuinely good product. You want a hot dog, but there's many types of hot dogs. But the world, our economy, doesn't cater to differentiating between hot dog tastes.
Monica Vasandani
Right. And for being like. For hot dogs, being such an American food. We don't like. We don't put it in the spotlight enough.
Shane Topp
We really don't.
Ian Hecox
This is true. And it's like, sometimes you're in the mood for a Nathan's. Sometimes you're in the mood for a Hebrew National.
Shane Topp
But see, you're talking about different brands. We're going beyond that. See, Tinder for hot dogs. From the simplicity of an app on your phone.
Ian Hecox
Go on.
Shane Topp
You're getting like, do you want a bratwurst? Do you want. Do you want beef? Do you want turkey? These are all the different types of dogs.
Monica Vasandani
What flavor profile do you want?
Shane Topp
What flavor profile? What sauces do you want? You know, it gets. And the type of buns you get. Oh, my God. At the extremes, you know?
Monica Vasandani
And you want to know that it's close by. Like, I want to know that I don't have to travel more than enough.
Shane Topp
Yeah. You want to see how close? And you can specify in your bio. It's like dogs under 6 inches. Swipe, swipe, swipe, left. Get really specific with it. This podcast is brought to you by Tinder for Hot Dogs. No, it's great. It's a great idea. It's funny, but it's also good.
Monica Vasandani
I have to admit. I tried to write it. I got nowhere. I think ryanfinity left me an hour to write it, and I tried so hard. I got six lines in, and I was like, I'm just gonna work on something else. Cause I hate this.
Ian Hecox
While I'm working on it, hand me the reins, and I'll give you an autobiography on Tinder for Hot Dogs.
Shane Topp
You're gonna write Tinder for Hot Dogs? Is that what you're saying right here?
Monica Vasandani
But an autobiography. So from the point of view, from.
Shane Topp
The point of view of your life. I write Tinder for Hot Dogs.
Ian Hecox
I don't know what I was going. I'll give you a book the size of the Odyssey for Tinder for Hot Dogs.
Shane Topp
You know what I think? I think if enough listeners give us a five star review with the review saying make Tinder for hot dogs, then we're have to make Tinder for hot dogs. If we get enough, if we get enough 5 star reviews on this podcast.
Ian Hecox
And if you guys go to the YouTube and like it and subscribe, yes, if we get 50,000 likes on YouTube on this, on the Smoshcast YouTube video about this, we'll make Tender for Hot Dogs.
Shane Topp
Make my dreams come true.
Monica Vasandani
Please, somebody do something for Shane for once.
Shane Topp
I can't stress, I can't stress how much I want Tinder for Hot Dogs made. And this is the only way that it's going to get made, guys. You have to, you all have to come out in droves and support this podcast in every way possible on YouTube, on, on Spotify, on itunes. In every way. And Tinder Hot dog, Tinder for Hot Dogs will, will come to fruition.
Monica Vasandani
Make it happen.
Ian Hecox
Make it happen.
Shane Topp
Make it happen, guys, please.
Ian Hecox
I just want to take a quick moment to say that we got two sponsors today, baby. Our first sponsor is ZipRecruiter. Hiring is challenging, but there's one place you can go where hiring is simple, fast and smart. A place where growing businesses connect to qualified candidates. That place, my friend, is ZipRecruiter.com smosh As applications come in, ZipRecruiter analyzes each and every one and spotlights the top candidates so you never miss a great match. ZipRecruiter. And this is crazy. ZipRecruiter is so effective that four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate through their site within the first day. That's honestly impressive. I wish I was that consistent. And right now our listeners can try ZipRecruiter for free at this exclusive web address. Ziprecruiter.com smosh that's ZipRecruiter.com smosh and just in case you didn't hear me the first two times times. Ziprecruiter.com Smosh and our second sponsor is Away Travel Away asks thousands of people how they pack, why they travel, and what bugs them the most about luggage. Then they took that feedback and made some pretty awesome pieces of luggage that are very durable, affordable, and solve several Things that annoy me about traveling. They come in a variety of colors and four sizes. They have the carry on, the bigger carry on the medium or the larger. The coolest thing about both the carry ons is that they are able to charge all cell phones, tablets, and anything that's powered by a USB cord and a single charger. The away carry on can actually charge an iPhone five times, which I think is super, super dope. And they also come with a TSA approved combination lock and a removable washable laundry bag, which I love because I go through weird lengths to separate my dirty, stinky clothes from my fresh ones. So thank you very much for thinking about that. Away. It's like they just know me. For $20 off a suitcase, visit awaytravel.com smosh and use promo code smosh during checkout. That's awaytravel.com smosh Use promo code smosh at checkout for $20 off a suitcase. And now back to whatever the hell we were talking about. You are a graduate from a fashion institute, right?
Monica Vasandani
Yes.
Shane Topp
Yes.
Ian Hecox
Well, so you went to. You went to fit em, right?
Monica Vasandani
Yes, I did. And that stands for Fashion Institute of Design and merchandising.
Shane Topp
That also really works like fitm. Like, you know, cause you're making stuff that people fit into.
Monica Vasandani
Tell me about those pants. Fit'em.
Ian Hecox
Where does this fit into? Where? Oh, dang.
Shane Topp
Got em.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Monica Vasandani
Nice.
Ian Hecox
Where does this. Where. How did you end up? So you went to college for like fashion and merchandising and stuff?
Monica Vasandani
Yeah, kind of. Not, not exactly by choice. Okay. My grades were really bad in high school and so I couldn't get into a lot of schools, but I can go kind of a trade school.
Ian Hecox
You couldn't fulfill like the. The immigrant parents desires of becoming a lawyer or doctor.
Monica Vasandani
Right.
Ian Hecox
So fashion, what did you want to.
Shane Topp
Be when you were growing up?
Monica Vasandani
Oh, I wanted to be a comedian.
Shane Topp
Oh, really? Yeah, from like early. Very early.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah, when I was like very young, I used to write a lot and I used to on. I used to jack my brother's talk boy and do like a little radio show and like, and make my family listen to it. And I think they didn't like it that much.
Shane Topp
And now you're on a podcast. You're gonna make your family listen to this.
Monica Vasandani
Oh, I would hate it if they listened. Listen to this.
Ian Hecox
Oh, man, I miss talk boy.
Shane Topp
I don't even know what that is.
Ian Hecox
Oh my God.
Monica Vasandani
It's just like a little tape recorder.
Shane Topp
Okay.
Monica Vasandani
But it was marketed for children.
Shane Topp
Cool.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, cool. There's a classic. Old. Or was that yak back? I'm getting confused with the yak back. I think Talkboy was similar, but it's. They have a commercial where it's like this like, boy, like, sneaks up on like his like, sister making out with a boy. He's like, stop drooling on me.
Monica Vasandani
I think that's talk boy.
Shane Topp
That sounds like the 90s. Sounds like a 90s commercial.
Ian Hecox
It was the most 90s commercial ever.
Monica Vasandani
And then they made the talk girl.
Ian Hecox
Oh, it was just pink, right?
Monica Vasandani
Yeah.
Ian Hecox
I was like, wait, girls aren't buying this. Cause it's blue. We gotta make it pink.
Monica Vasandani
It was gray, which is a gender neutral color. But because they had boy in the title, they were like, oh, now we can. Yeah, get more of the market.
Shane Topp
Love the 90s. Different time.
Ian Hecox
So you had the Taco boy.
Monica Vasandani
Yes, because it was my brothers and we often shared one toy.
Ian Hecox
What?
Monica Vasandani
Like we were given one thing to share. Like when we both wanted a toy.
Shane Topp
That sucks.
Monica Vasandani
One of them.
Shane Topp
That sucks. That's a bummer. That's a real bummer.
Ian Hecox
One toy.
Shane Topp
How old was your bro? Were you the same age?
Monica Vasandani
He's two years older than me.
Shane Topp
Okay, so.
Monica Vasandani
And I get it because they were like, my parents were never going to get their money's worth if they're like, let me buy two of the identical thing. And then it would be abandoned.
Ian Hecox
I've been to your parents house, Monica. They're doing okay.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah. Because they didn't waste their money on.
Ian Hecox
Two toys for two days.
Shane Topp
They didn't buy so many Talk Boys. They saved up instead. I get it because like now I have nieces and a nephew or whatever. And I see like you get a toy for them and it's like, that'll be done with in a month. Like, they're gonna get bored with that. So. I fully understand where your parents are coming from. But as a kid, remembering as a kid, I would have hated that. I would have hated having to share every single thing.
Monica Vasandani
I think I didn't know any better. But also my brother and I used to fight and like beat the shit out of each other.
Shane Topp
Well, that's why.
Ian Hecox
Were you bigger than your brother?
Monica Vasandani
No.
Ian Hecox
Were you older than your brother?
Monica Vasandani
No. But I used to bite him and then cry to my parents that he started it.
Ian Hecox
Nice.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah. And then later, little sister move.
Shane Topp
And you only became better because you were on wrestling team, right?
Monica Vasandani
Yeah.
Shane Topp
And then I remember back in the day when Kurt Maloney still wrote with us, he was like, yeah, try to wrestle Monica she will defeat you.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah, yeah, Ian and I. I tried.
Ian Hecox
I.
Shane Topp
You tried to.
Ian Hecox
I.
Monica Vasandani
Well, Ian didn't go that hard because I just don't.
Ian Hecox
I just don't know what's. What's okay and what's not okay in her. In a play wrestling match. So I challenged. She was like. She was saying that Kurt would. She would throw down. Yeah, she'd beat Kurt.
Shane Topp
And. And for those listening, Monica is how tall?
Monica Vasandani
Like five feet.
Shane Topp
Yes. And Kurt Maloney is like five. Eleven, whatever. But. Yeah. You would destroy him. If I remember correctly. I only heard about it, but he was like.
Monica Vasandani
We were pretty evenly matched, but usually I would come out on top.
Ian Hecox
Yeah. So I tried to. I tried to play wrestle Monica, and then I want to say, you just kind of like. You just kind of hopped on my back or something. You. You just kind of like a little spider on me.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah.
Ian Hecox
And then I just admitted. I believe I admitted to.
Monica Vasandani
And I was like. Or was just a stalemate, a weird thing to be doing? I think I had a moment of clarity, like I think we both did at an office party right now, and.
Ian Hecox
Someone'S gonna get hurt. Yeah, yeah, that's. That's true. We kind of had. Both had a moment of clarity from the time that. Probably 30 seconds after I realized that you were just stuck on my back and nothing was gonna change. So you did wrestling in high school, which. There's a great photo that we have floating around here somewhere.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah. I brought in. I found, like, my wallet sized freshman year wrestling picture, so I brought one into the office.
Ian Hecox
It's so great. It's you just in this, like, the wrestling position. I'm sure everybody's wrestling photos the same.
Monica Vasandani
Yes. It's just kind of like a. Yeah.
Ian Hecox
Like, just like, crouch.
Monica Vasandani
I'm gonna get you.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, exactly. It's exactly that. Did you ever wrestle? Were there other girls that you wrestled against?
Monica Vasandani
Yeah, so there weren't that many girls, but there were def. There were tournaments that were girls only, and then a few teams did have girls on their, like, varsity lineup or whatever.
Ian Hecox
So, I mean, because with wrestling, like, the weight classes are so defined, right?
Monica Vasandani
Yes.
Ian Hecox
So. So to get another girl that just so happens to be in your way. This is not like cross country, where it's just like, everyone just runs at the same time and it doesn't matter how good.
Shane Topp
Get out of there.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah, just like go through the woods or something and then come back.
Shane Topp
Eventually go away and then come back.
Ian Hecox
So if there wasn't a girl in your weight class, would you wrestle A guy then.
Monica Vasandani
Yes.
Ian Hecox
And then were they like. I mean, it's high school, so everybody's just awkward.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah.
Ian Hecox
But like, was that just, like, really weird for them?
Monica Vasandani
Yeah, some guys refused to wrestle me.
Shane Topp
Did they ever give it? Like, on what grounds was it like that?
Monica Vasandani
They just didn't. They thought of it as a lose, lose because either you. You beat a girl or you lose to a girl. And because of sexism, that's, like, bad.
Shane Topp
That sucks. Either way, that sucks.
Ian Hecox
I mean, there's definitely no toxic masculinity in wrestling.
Monica Vasandani
No.
Ian Hecox
Come on. I mean, on the flip side, you definitely have to be comfortable with yourself if you're gonna, like, walk around a little, like, little onesie or. What do you call that?
Monica Vasandani
Singlet.
Shane Topp
Yeah, I can't imagine doing anything like that in. I mean, I guess I'm the one. I did swimming for a while when I was like, early teens and having to wear those Speedos or whatever. I'm like, this is. This sucks.
Monica Vasandani
Oh, yeah. Being a teenager, a teenage girl, like, show, like, being like, oh, everyone can see my whole body. Cool. That was also when I asked my mom to start buying me thongs because I was like, I can't be the girl with the panty line.
Ian Hecox
Oh, in the singlet.
Monica Vasandani
In the singlet. Yep.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, that's about when I asked my mom for thongs.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah.
Ian Hecox
Yeah. She said no.
Monica Vasandani
I'm sorry.
Ian Hecox
No.
Monica Vasandani
You know, you're an adult now. You can get your own thongs.
Ian Hecox
Oh, trust me, I do.
Monica Vasandani
Good.
Ian Hecox
Yeah. Monica, when I was over at your parents place, it was your baby shower.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah, my wife's baby shower.
Ian Hecox
It was your wife's baby shower?
Monica Vasandani
Yeah. I mean, because she. She carried the baby. I didn't do anything. I was just there.
Ian Hecox
I just rooted her on. I guess that's. I guess I never thought about that. Yeah. All right, so. Yeah. You didn't do anything.
Monica Vasandani
I do now. Yeah. Just left her alone for nine months.
Shane Topp
Yeah, well, good luck with that.
Ian Hecox
You left her out in the woods? It was at your parents place where I. I got to experience one of my first times ever being racially profiled.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah, you got to see how it felt.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, I know, it was fun. One of. One of. One of Monica's relatives came up to me and she started talking to me. She assumed that I knew this guy. The only reason she assumed I knew the guy was because this guy was also white with a beard.
Monica Vasandani
And glasses.
Ian Hecox
And glasses. And she assumed that, you know, all the white guys with beards and glasses know each other.
Shane Topp
Well, did you know him?
Ian Hecox
No, I didn't, I didn't know him. I didn't know him.
Shane Topp
You friggin know him? You're like, ah, yeah, damn it.
Ian Hecox
But I, I didn't take offense to it, but it was, it was funny to me. Cause I was like, I was actually a little excited cause I was like, oh, this is my first time being racially profiled.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah, that's how it feels every time.
Ian Hecox
Do I get a ribbon? Is that how this works? Do I get, do I get anything for it?
Monica Vasandani
You just, yeah, you get treated like a second class citizen.
Ian Hecox
Oh, okay.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah, it's awesome.
Ian Hecox
Okay, that's good to know. Actually, no, it's my second time being racially profiled. Earlier in the year I was at a Thai food place and I asked for a certain spice level and the guy was like, are you sure? I was like, yeah, I mean like it shouldn't be too bad. And then like the, the lady that ran the place came out and she was like, are you sure? I was like, okay, I guess I'll get the less spicy. And they came out and it wasn't spicy. And I was like, I think I've been racially profound.
Shane Topp
I don't think that's cuz you're white. I think that's just because you look like a huge wuss.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah, yeah, you look, you're a very soft man.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, I'm a soft boy, but I do like my spice.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah, you're soft on the outside.
Ian Hecox
Wow.
Monica Vasandani
Cold.
Shane Topp
Than you racially profiled twice?
Ian Hecox
Yeah, yeah. Like what's.
Shane Topp
I think I've been racially profiled less, but I don't know. I can't remember. I don't know. I feel like I wouldn't know.
Monica Vasandani
I mean, I, I assume everything's personal between you and Damian.
Shane Topp
Well, yeah, we are the same person.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah.
Shane Topp
Literally the same. That's cause we're on, we're on Disney Channel.
Monica Vasandani
I don't think about it all the time, but I'm sure that I've been treated differently by some people like based on my race or being a woman or being gay. But I, I don't think about it because I'll never know which one it is.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You kind of hit the lotto Monica of things you could be discriminated against.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah. So I just, I can't because then I will drive myself crazy trying to be like, well, is this person more like are they more of a homophobe or more of a racist?
Shane Topp
And you ask them and it makes them short Circuit because they're like, I don't know why I'm mad at you.
Ian Hecox
Which one? I need to pick one to be mad at you about.
Shane Topp
And they just.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Shane Topp
Sparks fly out of their neck.
Ian Hecox
Did you grow up in an area that was like. That was, like, welcoming of it, or did you kind of keep a lot of it, like, under wraps?
Monica Vasandani
I mean, I think that you're talking about being queer, right? Not being brown.
Shane Topp
Short circuits.
Monica Vasandani
They knew.
Ian Hecox
Yes. Yes.
Monica Vasandani
I grew up, like, in the suburbs, outside of la. So because it's Southern California, there is definitely, like, people are accepting and a little bit more liberal, but it was a suburban area, so I still, like, I didn't feel 100% comfortable there, but it was also within my own home life and stuff. I didn't feel 100% comfortable. And of course, you know, my family has now come around and been really supportive, but it took a while to.
Ian Hecox
Get there in, like, high school and stuff. Were you. Were you out then? Or was it just kind of like a thing where, like, I can't fucking deal with this right now. I'm gonna wait till after. Or. I guess I don't even know if it's. I don't even know if that's the decision process.
Monica Vasandani
I came out when I was 16, and it's. And I kind of started before that where, you know, I'd tell a couple people and got a generally accepting reaction, and so became a little more comfortable with myself and got to a point where I was like, well, if this person doesn't like me or accept me, then it's better that I know. And then. Because this is who I am. So, yeah, I came out in high school, which, at that time, not a lot of people were out in high school, because this was.
Ian Hecox
I feel like, because we're like, the same age, and I feel like we were on. We were on that cutting that sort of, like, edge of, like, Prop 8 passed. Prop 8 was the. Was the California law that banned gay marriage.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah.
Ian Hecox
And that passed in, like, 2008.
Monica Vasandani
Right. And so I was 16 in, like, 2003.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Monica Vasandani
So, yeah, five years before people were still like, hey, we don't like this. It's gross.
Ian Hecox
Yeah. I didn't know anybody in high school that. That was out.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah.
Ian Hecox
Like, I knew a couple people came out afterwards, but in my high school, I. I mean, there was. There was maybe one girl that was. That was, like, very much out. Other than that, I didn't know anybody. I didn't. I didn't have any gay friends. That I knew of. So it was very weird. Like, I feel like nowadays it's. It's. It's much more encouraged.
Monica Vasandani
I mean, visibility really helps. Like, when you have people that you can look to and know that there are successful people who are like, you, you know, aren't, like, who are doing well and they're happy, it gives you the courage to come out. And living in a time when it's. Everyone's quiet about it, it makes it even more difficult to be the person who is like the first person out of all your friends or whatever.
Ian Hecox
And like, I guess, like in, like in the arts, I guess it was always. That was always a little more okay, you know, like, if you saw someone successful as like, an actor or like a theater actor, and it was like, it was like, well, yeah, but that's like, it's okay to be gay there. But like you said, like, seeing other successful people now, we now, like, in business, you're. You're finding like, oh, this person's gay, this person's gay. And politics, politics, same thing. So now. Now it's like a much, like, broader thing where it was just like before, you would only see, like, very open people in, like, the arts.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah. And I think we're. I. I hope we get there with sports.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that's. Oh, man.
Shane Topp
Yeah, it's tough with. It's. I mean. Yeah, it's the hope. It's masculine, you know, very masculine industries. It's just like. It's such a tough fight, man. Like, just tough to. I don't know.
Ian Hecox
And it's probably. And I think some of that falls on the fans, too.
Shane Topp
Oh, absolutely.
Monica Vasandani
I think most of it does.
Shane Topp
Just that culture, it's just. They're just not accepting because I honestly don't think. Comfortable. They're. Yeah, it's an insecure. I mean, masculinity is so insecure at its core. And that's. That's the issue.
Ian Hecox
I honestly don't think a lot of the athletes even give a. Like, I think. I think it's more. I think it's more on the.
Monica Vasandani
I think some of them do. But yeah, yeah, it is on the fans. Because the LA Kings, the hockey team, they have a Pride Night once a season, and I follow them on Instagram and they posted about Pride Night and I made the mistake of looking at the comments, and it was just people being like, why would you do this? Don't do this. What about Vets Night and stuff that already exists.
Ian Hecox
What?
Monica Vasandani
And it's such a Bummer.
Shane Topp
Yeah. They're suddenly upset about things regarding that that they would never be upset about regarding anything else. It was the same as when God, what is his name? There was the LA. It wasn't there still the St. Louis Rams. There was a player who got drafted and he was openly gay. Michael. Sam. That's right. I was like, Sam. But you know, he kissed his boyfriend and people made a big deal. They're like, he did that on purpose to show it in our faces. I'm like, how many people lean and kiss their wife or girlfriend in the same. I bet you we can look in earlier in the same draft. But you have an issue with that because you're looking for that and you're paying attention to that and you're upset about that.
Monica Vasandani
And a lot of people react to male on male affection as icky. And then.
Ian Hecox
And girl on girl is hot, basically.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah. It's like hyper sexualized and it's like this is icky. So I need to find a reason to justify why I don't like it. Because I can't just say it's icky.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Shane Topp
You can't say it's cause you're uncomfortable with yourself and with your own masculinity. Yeah. Because it's. It is that it is obviously the cultural like discriminatory view of it. But it's also. And people I know who are like that it's a fear of vulnerability. Right. And then you know, it's a fear of like here's someone who's just openly like there's. There's an aspect of that and I think it's why sexism and homophobia, I think are so tied, especially with men. Regarding, regarding that. Because it's just like. It's a fear of, of being more in touch with your emotions and stuff. Which is why the. I feel like that side. Those same people who say those horrible things also are the ones who are rocking those mugs that say fuck your feelings. So I'm like, yeah, cuz you kind of are scared of feelings.
Monica Vasandani
Right.
Shane Topp
So it's better to just say I'm gonna kill feelings. Like shoot feelings with a gun. As opposed to let yourself feel stuff and be okay with I want a.
Ian Hecox
Mug that says shoot your feelings with a gun.
Shane Topp
Feel empathy.
Monica Vasandani
I'm sure it exists.
Ian Hecox
I'm gonna check new smosh merch. But like bring it, bring it like background to the. To. To. To smosh. Like, you know, there's obviously all types of people that, that watch our stuff and, and I want our content To. To represent everyone. I want it. I don't want it to, you know, offend and offend people intentionally. Obviously, some people are just going to be offended by the nature of a joke because it. Jokes have their.
Shane Topp
Yeah, yeah, but Tom Cruise people offend them.
Ian Hecox
But I mean, that's. That's where like, like, you know, Monica, like, you're so instrumental, or as Courtney would say, detrimental on accident. She said in the last podcast. She got it. She got those words mixed up. But you're. I feel like you're. You're a very big, like, piece to this, and I don't mean to shoulder this burden on you, but like, being. Being a woman, being a person of color, being queer, like, those are. Those are not. Those are not life experiences that I have.
Monica Vasandani
Right.
Ian Hecox
That. But I'm excited to have somebody like yourself who had a completely different life experience, add that sort of knowledge and know how and experience into Smosh.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah, I mean, I definitely appreciate how much my voice is valued here because at first especially there was, like, a little bit of a fear, and I felt like I had to maybe conform to, like, everyone else's point of view, which, you know, everyone writing for Smosh was a straight white man, basically. So, you know, feeling like, oh, I have to adjust myself so that I fit in with this, and then realizing that I'm here because I have my own unique voice. And I don't think it's like a tokenism thing. I think it's just like, hey, let's make sure we have as many points of view as we can have in this. But then there are other times where it feels like a lot of responsibility to be like, oh, I'm here to speak for all people of color. I'm here to speak for all women. I'm here to speak for all queer people when there's no way to do that. Like, I could do my best to do right by marginalized groups, but there's no way that I can speak for all of them.
Ian Hecox
So does that, like, do you ever. So you feel like that's a pressure sometimes?
Monica Vasandani
Like, sometimes. And then sometimes I also feel like I. I don't want to be the downer here, but this is like. Like, I'll. I'll say, hey, this is kind of maybe not great for this group to hear.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Monica Vasandani
Which you never want to be the downer in a room, but I think we all.
Ian Hecox
But whenever you've brought it up, it's. It's made total sense. Like, it hasn't been like, you know, a Very, Very, like, insane thing.
Shane Topp
And you're not the only one who's doing that. I feel like we've all, as a group, have gotten. And we've gotten better about it.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah. And I think it was a lot of that feeling of responsibility was just this, like, internalized thing that I have that I'm kind of working through. So. Yeah. Because I know that nobody ever. No one's goal is to hurt people, because we want to do the opposite. Like, we just want to make people laugh.
Ian Hecox
We have. We have a small amount of time. Should. Should we talk. Should we talk about Jesse Taylor? Should we. Should we bring that up? All right, so. So there was this. There was this girl. She. She's sort of like a controversial Instagram user. Just posts a lot of, like. Like. Like underwear photos, bikini photos, that kind of stuff. Very, like, in your face, kind of controversial person. Her name is Jesse Taylor, and she attracted the ire of people online, and they got her account deleted. On Instagram, she had130,000 followers. So she took to YouTube and went on this big tirade about how this was her life, and without her followers, her life is meaningless. And how she's. She says that she's not something to the. To the degree that she's not like the 90 of people who can work a 9 to 5 job. And she says that she's incapable of doing that. And that's what. And that's not why she moved to la. And she. She also said. She said, like, I'm worthless without my followers. And this is. This is my favorite quote. She told this website that her account being deleted felt like a murder. She said, I felt like it was a homicide, like, somebody murdered me. And then went online to say, I murdered this girl. She then said, I called the police, actually, and told them about this, and they said, you can't compare a murder to this. And I was like, no, that's exactly what it felt like.
Shane Topp
That part's really funny.
Ian Hecox
Called the police.
Monica Vasandani
This whole story. And the video that she put out is a wild rollercoaster.
Shane Topp
It's a massive cause. We all watched this video together, and we started off being like, oh, God. And then it got us all to a point where we're like, oh, no. But then we went through every emotion.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah. We were like, I was rooting for her. And then I was like, but I'm kind of disgusted, but I want the best for you.
Shane Topp
Cause it suddenly comes up that she used to be a prostitute. And we're like, whoa. Oh, okay, okay. And it goes so many places. Do we know what exactly she did that they used to get it deleted?
Ian Hecox
Well, I saw an old video.
Shane Topp
That's a factor.
Ian Hecox
I saw an old video where she very gleefully proclaimed that she's a racist.
Shane Topp
Oh, yeah, that's not great. That's. That's not so solid.
Ian Hecox
She's like, yeah, I'm a racist. I was like, is that, Is that.
Shane Topp
Yeah, not defending. That's pretty bad.
Ian Hecox
Obviously, I didn't see the context.
Shane Topp
Is there, Is there? Like, I'm curious if she's posting content like that all the time.
Ian Hecox
Look, right, I, I, I went to her. I went to her backup account, her Instagram account, and it's a very little substance.
Shane Topp
So.
Ian Hecox
And, and she, and she. Her complaint was that there's plenty of other larger users that are controversial, so why can't she be controversial?
Shane Topp
Well, isn't the guy who took her. How great is the person who took her down, too? You know, because it's kind of like the guy who came after the director of Guardians of the Galaxy. The guy who came after him was also tweeting horrible stuff. I mean, it's like.
Ian Hecox
Right, yeah, well, the guy. It's not. I don't know if it's necessarily the guy or his fans, but the guy. Well, I didn't do enough research, but there's a guy, Ice Poseidon. He. He's known for having, like, these very terrible fans that basically they ruin his life. And that's, that's his whole kind of gimmick. Like, they, like, swat him in public and. Okay, but he's made a career out of it. But he's also kind of attracted a very sort of toxic fan base. I think he. I think she sort of directed the ire of him and his fan base, so they came after her.
Shane Topp
The, the craziest thing out of it was her saying, I'm nothing without my following. It makes me wonder for us in this industry, what would your reaction be if you just suddenly it was gone? If all your social media just got deleted and you have to restart it all?
Monica Vasandani
Well, I mean, I think. I don't know why. I always want to give people the benefit of the doubt. But when she said that, she went on to say that it's because that was her income. So without followers, she had no income.
Shane Topp
True.
Monica Vasandani
Right.
Ian Hecox
But then, but also saying, like, I will not work a 9 to 5 job.
Shane Topp
Right?
Ian Hecox
Like, I have. She said, like.
Shane Topp
Well, because she said she used to work at McDonald's and she hated her.
Monica Vasandani
But then she Said she, she has no skills. Like, she just went bad.
Shane Topp
It's all over the place. You'll feel bad for, for a second then.
Monica Vasandani
You mean, like, are you saying that other people, like, are worse than you for doing this stuff? Or are you saying that you're like, they're better than you or.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Monica Vasandani
What are you getting at?
Shane Topp
I do think it's a. I do think that video says a lot about society, though.
Monica Vasandani
Yes.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Shane Topp
Because I think, I think there is a part of that mindset that's in all of us.
Monica Vasandani
Yes. I think that anyone who's, who's like their main income or their job is essentially being in the public eye has a little bit of that, like, I'm worthless about my followers.
Ian Hecox
But if, if you're, if your whole brand is being controversial and being a problem and, and like, we, we give like, way too much attention to people that we really shouldn't give attention to. And she made, she made a living off of it for a time.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah.
Ian Hecox
She. She claimed that she made $500,000 over. Over the three years. That.
Shane Topp
What?
Ian Hecox
Yeah. Okay. So. Yeah, so she said. She said she made $500,000 from her account over three years. She said that money does not last. She said, you go to the Gucci store a few times, you pay a couple months of rent. I'm not rich. Like, I used to be.
Shane Topp
Absolute roller coaster. I'm telling you, every. Everything she says will change your. Every sentence she says will change your mind about her. Yes, every single sentence.
Ian Hecox
I mean, there's a lot of. There's a lot of just really poor decisions in this person's life. And she says, when somebody says, how old is she? She's 21. I mean, yeah, she's 21.
Monica Vasandani
I was a piece of shit when I was 20.
Shane Topp
One thing, man. Like social media, we're like constantly. It's like a 19 year old says something. I'm like, dude, yeah, what decade? Yeah, but also, like, I like, she.
Ian Hecox
She alluded to, like, not having a good family life and being kicked out and being alienated and like having all her friends backstab you. But when. Also when somebody says, everyone's backstabbed me, it's like, well, maybe you were the problem.
Monica Vasandani
And then there's this like, you want to believe this person who's been victimized, but you're also only hearing one side of a story. It's so hard to pass judgment when you don't know anything.
Ian Hecox
I think, I think the big thing is like, this is. This is sort of a Clear example of somebody that just needs a really good person to just kind of, like, be like, oh, honey. Like, just like.
Shane Topp
Well, that's probably the problem. She doesn't have any support.
Ian Hecox
I've seen. I've seen people. Yeah, I've seen people like her. I know people like her. And it's just. It's not necessarily their fault. But they, but they. But what happens afterwards, it's like, okay, it's not enough personal responsibility. $500,000. Let's say you're 18. You get $500,000. What are you going to do with that money?
Shane Topp
That's true. I mean, yeah, you can't fault any.
Ian Hecox
When you don't have somebody. Like, my dad's an accountant, so. And also, like, he's hammered into my head, like, yeah, you get money and you save it.
Shane Topp
Finances are really difficult, and we do not teach anything regarding. That's what I have a kind of. I don't think it's that much of a conspiracy theory, but the reason we don't teach finances very early on is because I think that's what society wants. They want you to blow all your money, give it to everybody else.
Ian Hecox
They don't teach you about credit card debt? Like, no, why would they? You get into college and they're like, here's a credit card. Go have fun with it. It's free money.
Monica Vasandani
Or like, yeah, come to school, take out this huge loan at this crazy interest rate. Like, sign up for this when you're 17. This, like, crippling debt.
Shane Topp
Pay us until you're 45.
Ian Hecox
We, like. I remember, like, I don't know if it was an economics class or what. We learned how to, like, write a check. Teach me about 401k. Teach me about mutual funds. Teach me about, you know, how to do my frigging taxes.
Shane Topp
Oh, man.
Ian Hecox
And also know how to do. Because again, my dad's an accountant, so he does my taxes.
Shane Topp
It also must be insane, like, for her to go from having no money to that amount of money. Not like she slowly, like, her lifestyle slowly changed to fit that. It went from nothing to Gucci.
Monica Vasandani
That's my. That's my autobiography.
Shane Topp
From Nothing to Gucci.
Ian Hecox
I just. It's. It's nothing. Nothing good came out of this.
Shane Topp
But I think it's definitely sad in a way.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah.
Ian Hecox
But I think there's definitely a lot. There's a whole ton of lessons you can learn from just this one video of her freakout. And I don't take enjoyment out of the fact that she's in this situation. But I also definitely don't approve of her content or anything she's done.
Monica Vasandani
Can you imagine if you worked any other job and you were, like, kind of a dick about it, and then you got fired and then released this video?
Ian Hecox
Yeah. Can you imagine a job that paid you $500,000 over the course of three years, and then you get fired from the job and then you're like, well, I just can't work another job. I just can't do it.
Shane Topp
Well, once you get used to that lifestyle, must. You must think, like, it must be impossible to go back to actually working.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Shane Topp
Like, for her, like, she got used to. And I mean, for so many people who make this. These types of livings on social media, where it's like, oh, I can just be an awful person and make money and just post whatever and make money, and then suddenly that be.
Monica Vasandani
And I don't know if it's the thought process of I can be awful and make money, but it's like, you say one terrible thing, and then it blows up and it gets all this attention. So you're like, okay, that's what people want to hear and see. And then you start to buy into your own shit.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, that's like the Star wars check.
Shane Topp
There was that video some, like, conservative Twitter account, this, you know, Ashley something with American flag emojis.
Ian Hecox
I don't even wanna say her name.
Shane Topp
Yeah, yeah. Well, that's the thing. I don't want to give her attention, but she posted this video of this sweet guy reacting to the Star wars trailer, like, getting super excited about it, and she was just like, star wars. And these comic book movies are breeding a whole new sort of undateable man. Like, it's so pathetic or something just attacked him. And it's the sweetest. And of course, it just goes so viral every. All the tweets replying to it. And so many people are retweeting it, being like, I can't believe she would say this guy is so. And I'm like, we're just. She clearly, this was her plan, and literally, what else did she think was gonna happen?
Ian Hecox
I think I've seen maybe 20 of the people that I follow respond to that tweet and, like, quote, retweet it. I'm like, just stop giving her attention to her. To be so sick of seeing this woman's tweet.
Monica Vasandani
It's so hard because you want to silence these people, but you also want to shame them because you're like, hey, that person who, like, has this following. And people like, they suck, and here's why.
Ian Hecox
But those people, they're not shamed. They're not shamable, because they take.
Shane Topp
They get more attention off of it. And she, on her Twitter account, was making it like she was the victim. She's like, I can't believe all these people are saying so many mean things to me. And other people responding to that, being like, I know what's wrong with them. And I'm like, my God. But it is also cathartic. Like, reading the comments, responding to her defending the guy, which was great. And I was definitely getting, like, a little bit of a high off of just reading those. And I wanted to say something. Yeah, I wanted to pile on, too, but I'm like, she doesn't care. She's not responding to any of these. Yeah, she clearly like the insane things she's saying. No normal human. She's not gonna be shocked that we're responding.
Ian Hecox
And, I mean, society had already weighed in, so what's the point in just adding to that pile and then attracting more and more and more and more attention? But.
Shane Topp
And it's great for the guy in the video if he happens to have seen all this mayhem. Like, it's great that we're supporting him because he shouldn't feel bad at all.
Ian Hecox
Right? Yeah.
Shane Topp
But I do hate that she. It feels. It can't. I can't help but feel like she was victorious in it. And that's the same with any time these concern. These troll, regardless of political or religious beliefs or whatever. Just trolls on the Internet, when they get so much attention, when they cause interruption, it's like they won.
Ian Hecox
It's like a drug. They're like, yeah, right in my veins. I need another hit.
Shane Topp
Yeah. I mean, that's just what they do. You say something insane and you're gonna get a bunch of views, and then, hey, I just.
Ian Hecox
I just try to ignore those people. Like, my. My comment on it isn't on Twitter isn't going to change anybody's minds. And if. And if I don't agree with it, why would I want to bring everyone's attention to it? That just seems kind of, you know.
Shane Topp
And it's tough because it's like you said, like, there isn't a right. Like, the people who were responding were correct in supporting the guy. Whatever. I can't say they're wrong for responding to or.
Ian Hecox
But also, I think I read that that guy's married, so.
Shane Topp
Yeah, no, he's doing fine.
Ian Hecox
He's not undateable. Okay. Yeah, okay.
Shane Topp
Yeah, let's address that guy. Fucks.
Ian Hecox
Yeah. Probably Horde.
Shane Topp
It is actually the sweet. That video is actually the sweetest video ever. He is just sobbing through the trailer.
Monica Vasandani
I love it when people just unabashedly like a thing. It's like this pure, like, emotion and connection with something. And so I love that stuff.
Ian Hecox
Nintendo fans reacting to Smash Brothers.
Shane Topp
It's. Dude, it's so sweet. I actually. Okay, real quick. Game of Thrones thing. I will often, after watching Game of Thrones Days later, they'll often release, like, just reactions to that episode. And I will watch. I will watch so much of that stuff. There used to be videos of a whole bar. They would record it of them all reacting stuff. And I loved it because I was like, if I watch the video alone, then I'm like, oh. Then I. But I want to, like. I want to make sure other people are just as hyped as me.
Ian Hecox
Sweet people that are more drunk than me.
Shane Topp
Yeah. Sick.
Ian Hecox
Why would you watch Game of Thrones in a bar? That's so.
Shane Topp
That sounds awesome. No, no, they're. They're like. They're all, like, legit fans. So it's dead silent. And then the crazy thing happens. They all just go nuts.
Monica Vasandani
Yeah.
Ian Hecox
And they're like, shh.
Shane Topp
Yeah, yeah. Or you hear the one like. Like, oh, my God, Is that. Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. Stacy, stop.
Ian Hecox
Wait.
Monica Vasandani
What did that guy. Shut up.
Shane Topp
Is that the bad guy?
Monica Vasandani
God dang it, Stacey, where's Voldemort?
Shane Topp
Oh, God.
Monica Vasandani
So when we were talking, when we were discussing topics for this, something that came up that we haven't gotten around to was the first video that I worked on here.
Ian Hecox
Oh.
Monica Vasandani
And I was like, I don't remember. Because the way we do things is our production is a certain amount ahead of the writers. And then there's the release schedule. And so when I first came in, I was doing punch up on a few things, but it was like, months before that stuff came out. The first full video that I really wrote on was Every Bird Ever.
Ian Hecox
Oh, no, Monica, you shouldn't have said that.
Monica Vasandani
Somehow I got away with it.
Ian Hecox
You shouldn't have.
Shane Topp
I think we've talked a lot of crap about Every Bird Ever over the years. I will say I think I was the one. I believe I was the one who pitched it initially. I was like. I came into the. And I was like, guys, that was the original. We gotta do Every Bird Ever. And I remember a lot of people were like, well, all right. And I was like, guys, we gotta do it. It'd be so good. So I, you know, and I think the script, the script was actually really good and everybody did their job really well and it just.
Ian Hecox
Sometimes the magic just isn't there in the end.
Shane Topp
Not all. 10,000 of our videos can be absolute bangers. Right?
Ian Hecox
You know, every once in a while you just gotta have an every.
Shane Topp
Even though a love. A lot of tons of people love every bird ever.
Ian Hecox
Sure, sure.
Shane Topp
Tons of people. It's got its cult following. It's like Blade Runner. Similar audience. I would say Blade Runner. Every bird ever.
Ian Hecox
Exactly.
Shane Topp
Very similar crowd.
Ian Hecox
Wow, what a bombshell to leave this podcast.
Shane Topp
I had no idea.
Monica Vasandani
Sorry.
Shane Topp
That's also crazy just how long we've been working together. Yeah, it doesn't hit me until I think about that.
Ian Hecox
Well, Monica Shane, thank you so much for coming on this podcast. And I feel like I learned so much.
Shane Topp
Thanks.
Ian Hecox
What?
Shane Topp
Thank you.
Ian Hecox
You're welcome. And, and, and you guys at home, thank you so much for listening to us. Just talk about a bunch of bo. If you are listening to us on any of your favorite podcast apps, make sure you subscribe and do that little Rate it. Rate it. Give us more.
Shane Topp
Five stars if we get enough. Five star ratings and 50,000 subscribers on the smoshcast.
Ian Hecox
50,000 likes.
Shane Topp
50,000 likes and a bunch of five star ratings on itunes. We will make tinder for hot dogs.
Monica Vasandani
We'll give the people what they want.
Shane Topp
Yeah, if you demand it. But you have to demand it.
Monica Vasandani
Don't ask. Ask for it. Demand it.
Ian Hecox
Yes. Because that's how the Internet works. Change.org and if you're listening to this on. If you're watching this on YouTube. Hello, you can see our faces, but you can't hear us say bad words. But make sure you're subscribed and watch the highlights. They're now appearing on the smoshcast channel. They're no longer on Smosh Pit and we love you so much and we'll see you next week.
Shane Topp
Gross.
Episode: S1: #10 - "I'm Nothing Without My Following" and Tinder For Hot Dogs
Release Date: April 24, 2019
Hosts: Shane Topp, Ian Hecox, with guest Monica Vasandani
The episode kicks off with Ian Hecox introducing Monica Vasandani, the newest addition to the Smosh team. Monica shares her initial challenges adapting to Smosh's established comedic style.
Monica Vasandani [03:04]: "When I first came on, I didn't understand Smosh's voice yet. So really what I was writing didn't work at all."
Ian and Shane reflect on the early days of Monica's integration, highlighting the adjustments required when a new writer with a fresh perspective joins a long-standing team.
Monica recounts her first interactions with Ian and Anthony, describing feelings of uncertainty and misunderstanding as she tried to fit into Smosh's dynamic.
Monica Vasandani [04:16]: "I was like, okay, so this guy I don't know is gonna come in here and tell me I'm not funny."
Shane compares this experience to a "well-worn wagon path" being disrupted by new ideas, emphasizing the balance between maintaining Smosh's legacy and embracing innovative contributions.
A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to brainstorming and pitching the concept of "Tinder for Hot Dogs." Monica initially pitches the idea but feels it lacks traction until Shane enthusiastically endorses it.
Shane Topp [21:20]: "Tinder for Hot Dogs was a sketch that you pitched well."
The trio explores the potential of the idea, discussing its viability both as a comedic sketch and as a satirical take on modern dating apps. They rally listeners to support the creation of this concept through ratings and subscriptions.
Shane Topp [24:37]: "We'll make Tinder for Hot Dogs if we get enough support from our listeners."
Shane shares vivid stories from his childhood experiences snorkeling, encountering nurse sharks and barracudas. These tales serve as humorous interludes that showcase the hosts' personal lives and fears.
Shane Topp [16:00]: "I had to keep kicking it with my livers. And then on my other side, this barracuda shows up."
Monica and Ian react to Shane's stories with amusement, deepening the listener's connection to the hosts' genuine personalities.
Monica delves into her identity as a queer woman of color and the responsibilities that come with bringing diverse perspectives to Smosh. She discusses the pressure to represent marginalized groups while maintaining authenticity in her comedic voice.
Monica Vasandani [47:27]: "I'm here to speak for all people of color, all women, all queer people... but there's no way to do that fully."
Ian and Shane commend Monica for her contributions, recognizing the importance of her unique experiences in enriching Smosh's content.
The hosts analyze the case of Jesse Taylor, a controversial Instagram personality who lost her account and spiraled into a public meltdown. They dissect her statements about feeling worthless without her following and the broader implications for social media influencers.
Monica Vasandani [50:07]: "She said, 'I'm nothing without my following,' and this is my favorite quote."
Shane and Ian discuss the psychological impact of sudden fame and the fragility of social media-driven careers, pondering what would happen if their own platforms were abruptly removed.
Monica mentions her first significant contribution to Smosh—writing for the "Every Bird Ever" video. The discussion highlights the creative process behind one of Smosh's beloved sketches and acknowledges that not every project achieves blockbuster success.
Shane Topp [63:57]: "Every single sentence changes your mind about her."
Ian adds that sometimes the magic isn't there despite strong initial concepts, emphasizing the unpredictable nature of creative endeavors.
As the episode wraps up, Ian, Shane, and Monica reiterate the importance of listener support in bringing new ideas like "Tinder for Hot Dogs" to life. They encourage fans to rate and subscribe to the podcast to help realize their creative visions.
Shane Topp [65:41]: "50,000 likes and a bunch of five-star ratings on iTunes. We will make Tinder for Hot Dogs."
Monica expresses gratitude for being part of Smosh and looks forward to continuing to contribute her voice to the platform's evolving narrative.
This episode of Smosh Mouth offers an intimate glimpse into the dynamics of the Smosh team, the challenges of integrating new creative voices, and the pressures faced by content creators in the age of social media. Through personal stories, critical discussions, and humorous exchanges, Shane, Ian, and Monica provide a compelling narrative that resonates with both long-time fans and new listeners alike.