S1: #18 - Olivia’s Bald Spot & How Defy Forced Us To Be Friends

Summary

Podcast Episode Summary: Smosh Mouth Season 1, Episode 18 - "Olivia’s Bald Spot & How Defy Forced Us To Be Friends"

Release Date: June 19, 2019

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Introduction

In this engaging episode of Smosh Mouth, hosts Courtney Miller, Olivia Suar, and Mari Takahashi delve into a range of personal and professional topics. From sustainable fashion choices and self-care routines to navigating workplace dynamics and the impact of social media on self-perception, the trio offers candid insights and relatable experiences.

1. Sustainable Fashion and Personal Style

Renting vs. Buying: Courtney shares her shift from traditional shopping to renting clothes through services like Rent the Runway:

"I don't go shopping anymore. I just rent stuff for like a week or two weeks at a time." [01:32]

She emphasizes the benefits of sustainable fashion, highlighting how it aligns with her changing style and reduces environmental impact. Mari expresses her love for shopping, contrasting Courtney's perspective:

"Yeah, that's my problem. I love shopping." [02:22]

High-End Fashion Costs: Courtney discusses the high cost of fashionable items, questioning the value of expensive brands:

"Why would you spend 500 like Stella McCartney or something. Who the hell is Pam and Jella?" [02:03]

2. Self-Care and Mental Health

Exercise and Mental Well-being: Courtney opens up about her journey to re-establishing a workout routine after four years of inactivity, linking physical health to mental well-being:

"I was definitely in a place where I was not happy for a long time with the lack of exercise." [04:16]

Olivia emphasizes the importance of daily workouts for her mental health:

"I can't go more than two days without working out... I was so upset." [04:52]

Managing Stress: The discussion moves to how stress manifests physically and the importance of coping mechanisms like massages and therapy:

"I could have done more yesterday. It's just constantly needing to be more than what you are." [02:41]

3. Workplace Dynamics and Relationships

Feeling Replaceable at Defy: Courtney recounts experiences at Defy where she felt undervalued and replaceable, leading to significant stress:

"They told us that we can replace you easily." [35:06]

Team Bonding and Growth: Olivia and Mari discuss the challenges of building strong working relationships in a high-pressure environment:

"We had to immediately become these best friends... It was so damaging to have someone start creating these allies and rivalries." [49:22]

Insecurities and Competitiveness: The hosts explore how insecurities fuel their drive but also create tension within the team:

"I think it comes from insecurity and fear of, like, not being competent." [32:07]

4. Impact of Social Media on Self-Perception

Authenticity vs. Online Persona: Olivia reflects on the pressure to maintain an authentic self amidst the curated images on social media:

"I'm staying true to who I am. I'm not gonna let other things affect me." [42:08]

Courtney adds that social media often amplifies insecurities by showcasing only a fraction of one's life:

"The way that we do broadcast our lives, people think that that's the full package." [65:16]

Documenting vs. Experiencing: Mari and Olivia discuss the balance between documenting special moments and fully experiencing them without the need for digital proof:

"I have the best days when it's not documented on my Instagram." [68:08]

5. Diversity and Representation in Media

Asian Representation: Olivia shares her emotional response to "Always Be My Maybe," highlighting the importance of authentic Asian representation in media:

"You never see two Asian, like, an Asian couple doing something so intimate on screen." [58:32]

Empowering Female Writers: Courtney poses a question about the empowerment that comes from female writers shaping how women are depicted in sketches:

"How has being able to write how you guys are depicted been empowering?" [72:15]

Mari responds by discussing the evolution from being mere accessories in sketches to having control over their narratives:

"It's come a long way... being given that ability definitely makes things feel better." [74:49]

6. Hosting the Podcast and Personal Growth

Transition from Smosh Pit Weekly: Mari recounts the challenges and fan reactions when transitioning from Smosh Pit Weekly to hosting the podcast:

"I didn't know that that was being uploaded in place of Smoshpit Weekly... the fans were really upset." [46:06]

Courtney shares her learning curve in taking on a leadership role and the insecurities that accompany it:

"I have a fear of saying no. So I'm like, oh, I can't say no." [32:38]

Building Trust and Team Cohesion: Olivia and Mari discuss the importance of trust and open communication in forming a cohesive team:

"We have to bond in a way that wasn't how we were." [49:31]

Notable Quotes

• Courtney Miller:
  "I stopped dancing four years ago, and I just kind of let it go and go and go..." [04:24]

• Olivia Suar:
  "Self care and self love is becoming this thing." [16:40]

• Mari Takahashi:
  "I could have done that better. I could have done more with today." [02:41]

Conclusion

This episode of Smosh Mouth provides a deep dive into the personal struggles and triumphs of its hosts. From the importance of sustainable living and self-care to navigating complex workplace dynamics and the pervasive influence of social media, Courtney, Olivia, and Mari offer honest and heartfelt conversations. Their discussions on diversity and representation further underscore the show's commitment to authentic storytelling and empowering narratives. Listeners gain valuable insights into balancing personal well-being with professional responsibilities, making this episode a relatable and inspiring listen.

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Note: All timestamps correspond to the podcast transcript provided.

Transcript

[Courtney Miller]

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[Olivia Suar]

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[Courtney Miller]

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[Mari Takahashi]

Terms and conditions apply.

[Courtney Miller]

Ramble. Olivia sleeps naked.

[Olivia Suar]

I sleep.

[Mari Takahashi]

Everyone knows I could have done that better. I could have done more with today. I could have done more yesterday. It's just constantly needing to be more than what you are.

[Courtney Miller]

So much of it was like, oh, how did you get on the channel? Which guy are you sleeping with? Ian or Anthony?

[Olivia Suar]

Don't like games on a screen.

[Mari Takahashi]

You don't have games on your phone.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah, Instagram.

[Courtney Miller]

Nice.

[Mari Takahashi]

You got crystals in your blank.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah, it hurts.

[Mari Takahashi]

Okay, guys. Welcome to another episode of the smoshcast. I'm Courtney, your host today, and I'm here with Olivia Suay and Mari Takahashi. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's us. Last week you got the boys, and this week you got the. I mean, whatever you want to be, whatever you feel, you've got us. But you got us. You got us. You guys look so cute today. Mari, your frickin sweatsuit.

[Olivia Suar]

So cute.

[Mari Takahashi]

Thanks.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm renting it from the Runway now.

[Mari Takahashi]

What? Oh, wow.

[Courtney Miller]

Have you guys heard of rent the.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yes, I think my sister uses that.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I don't go shopping anymore. I just rent stuff for like a week or like two weeks at a time.

[Mari Takahashi]

That's awesome.

[Olivia Suar]

Dude, that's crazy. I love shopping.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, that's my problem. I love shopping.

[Courtney Miller]

I hate it.

[Olivia Suar]

Really?

[Courtney Miller]

I hate it. Yeah. I hate going to the mall. I don't like online shopping. I don't like doing any of it. And then this stuff is stupid expensive. Guess how much this set is. The.

[Mari Takahashi]

The pants and sweatshirt.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. Guess how much somebody would. 5.

[Olivia Suar]

Jesus.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, why would. Why would you spend. Stop spending.500.

[Olivia Suar]

It's like Stella McCartney or something. Who the hell is Pam and Jella?

[Courtney Miller]

Okay.

[Mari Takahashi]

It's really comfortable.

[Courtney Miller]

It feels really good. Like I slipped it on. I was like, oh, it's like silk. Like it feels real good. But it's like, who spends that money?

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, dude.

[Courtney Miller]

So, yeah, I'm really enjoying it.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Olivia Suar]

That is good for you.

[Courtney Miller]

Thanks.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, I go through fashion a lot. My style changes a lot, so I feel like that would be good for me because I'm just constantly buy Buying new stuff and donating the old stuff.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, it's good. It saves the planet, you know, it's.

[Mari Takahashi]

Recycling clothing, isn't it?

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah. Technically, I'm just wearing a sweater that my mom bought me at Uniqlo.

[Courtney Miller]

Ooh, nice. I love Uniqlo.

[Olivia Suar]

I chose not to wear makeup because we're getting real. I actually hate wearing makeup when I don't have to.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. Man, I wish I had the confidence to just, like, not wear any. I think I'm getting there. My skin is, like, finally in a really good place.

[Olivia Suar]

Your skin looks great.

[Mari Takahashi]

Thank you.

[Olivia Suar]

Do I have eyebrows on right now? Like, does it look like my eyebrows are.

[Mari Takahashi]

I see brow.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah, you see brow look.

[Courtney Miller]

I see natural brow.

[Olivia Suar]

I hope you guys are able to see, like, a little bit of brow.

[Courtney Miller]

And you used to have eyelash extensions all the time. Same with me. Now I don't. I have falsies on today.

[Olivia Suar]

But you look great. Everyone looks great. You guys are so beautiful.

[Mari Takahashi]

You look great.

[Courtney Miller]

You look great.

[Olivia Suar]

Your soul is beautiful.

[Mari Takahashi]

I'm wearing a Smosh hoodie. Oh, guess what.

[Olivia Suar]

What?

[Mari Takahashi]

This is that throwback hoodie. Yeah, it's back if you guys want to get a smosh store. And there's also a couple other new items as well. We have a tinder for hot dogs thing. Another special white hoodie, I think.

[Courtney Miller]

Nice.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. So check those out. And we got our bottles. So what have you guys been up to, I mean, outside of this?

[Olivia Suar]

Renting the Runway.

[Courtney Miller]

Renting the Runway. Personally, I've been working on, like, taking care of myself, and it feels really good. Like, I haven't had, like, a workout routine that I've stuck to since I quit dancing. And it's been a long time. I feel like, without knowing it, I was kind of, like, in, like, I don't want to say depressive state, because obviously I wasn't in a depression, but, like, yeah, I was definitely in a place where I was not happy for a long time with the lack of exercise, and I let it happen for, like, a few years.

[Olivia Suar]

Oh, yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

That's how long ago you stopped dancing?

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I stopped dancing four years ago, and I just kind of, like, let it go and go and go, and I was kind of, like, using what I had from before and kind of, like, you know, almost like, dipping into the savings of, like, what my, like, body can go through. And then from the start of this year, like, I've just kind of, like, been like, you know what? It's time. And so it's felt really good.

[Mari Takahashi]

Nice.

[Courtney Miller]

Thanks.

[Mari Takahashi]

We're all, I think, gym freaks here a little bit.

[Olivia Suar]

Oh, I, like, I can't go more than two days without working out. Like, I just, like, today I missed my workout class. I thought I set an alarm, but I didn't. And then I was just so bummed. Cause, you know, I like to start my day, like, sweaty and awake. That's why I'm kinda, like, a little sleepy right now. Cause I didn't get to work out this morning. And I'm just so bummed. I was so upset.

[Mari Takahashi]

Dude, I remember when you first started taking those classes. And I remember when you realized, I am addicted to this and I'm gonna do this all the time.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah, it was, like, a couple years ago. I love working out. Getting there sucks. But when I'm in it, I'm super focus. And it's like, I love it. Cause it's a form of. Cause I used to dance my whole life, so it's like exercising was always a part of my life. And then when you stop dancing, you're like, oh, this doesn't feel normal. Like, I'm always moving, so it's like I have to get back into using my body and working out.

[Mari Takahashi]

When was the last time you did, like, a dance thing? A class or a show?

[Olivia Suar]

I actually had to take a ballet class a couple weeks ago because I had an audition for this show.

[Mari Takahashi]

And then.

[Olivia Suar]

So I was like, oh, my God, I haven't done ballet in, like, five years. So I. Or six years. So I was like. And they want, like, they were looking for someone that, like, is really good at ballet. And I was like, ah. And then I was just like, I gotta, like, get back into it. So I look at least like, I'm a ballerina still, you know?

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. I mean, I feel like that was me with track. I did track, like, my whole, like, childhood into teens and then into high school. I stopped. And then I discovered the gym pretty early on as my replacement. But, like, I did. I definitely had that slump where it's like, oof. And then even in random, sporadic parts of this job, I would stop for a long time. It definitely keeps you sane. Yeah, I used to get rid of my anger a lot through that. I've talked about that on a previous episode, but it's such a good mental refresh.

[Olivia Suar]

Oh, for sure. I think. Do you guys remember when I Had my bald spot in my head.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yes. Dude. How is it? How long is it now?

[Olivia Suar]

Oh, it's completely gone. But I had alopecia, like, right here. And so I was like, how am I gonna fix this? So then the doctor was like, yeah, like, I think you're just stressed. So if you just go to the gym or you just relax yourself, do something to just, you know, keep your nerves down, like, it'll. Your hair will grow back. So I just started going to the gym more and like, working out every day. It didn't really help my hair grow back. I had to actually go get shots. But so then I just like, I was like, oh, I love this. This is like another way to manage, like, my stress.

[Mari Takahashi]

That was so crazy. I remember, like, when we were in that old office and you showed us that, we're like, oh, my gosh. We were all like, checking on.

[Olivia Suar]

I know I named her Wanda.

[Courtney Miller]

You're like a pigeon. That's like. What are they called when. When they, like, start picking out their feathers because they're stressed out?

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Olivia Suar]

Except I wasn't picking it. It just fell out.

[Mari Takahashi]

I haven't had stress. I don't know how stress would affect me physically like that. Like, I don't know what. Have you ever had anything like, I.

[Courtney Miller]

Think it for me with. I don't know, I kept so much stress in. Dancing was the source of my stress for most of my life until I stopped. And so I think I would just manifest it into, like, knots in my body, to be honest. And I think I was just so compacted with stress in my body. And so, yeah, like, I've had a very, very intense love hate with dancing my whole life. So, yeah, I think. I think it would just come out in like, like stresses, like in my body. Like, I could almost feel like, tension happening, like when I get too close to it again. Oh, my gosh.

[Mari Takahashi]

Was it your choice when you started dance or did your mom, like, put you in?

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, it wasn't my choice.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, no.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. I'm a second generation dancer, if anyone knows. So I was put into dance when I was 2, but all I ever wanted to do is, like, kick stuff and like, do karate.

[Mari Takahashi]

So dance fighting.

[Courtney Miller]

Dance fighting. Intense dance fighting. But it was like the. The one track that I was put on and then it became my job and then it became okay for me to just kind of live that life until literally. And it's so weird because people say this all the time, but, like, literally, like, YouTube saved my life. Like, it totally Put it on a completely different track.

[Mari Takahashi]

Starting with the Smosh audition or.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, really? Literally.

[Mari Takahashi]

Wow.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. So, yeah. So to answer your question, I think it comes in, like, knots. And I start doing this with my shoulders and, like, I get really, like, tense. Cause I keep everything in. But over the past, like, I would say, like, really, like, decade, I've gotten really much better with just, like, communicating. And once I stop dancing completely, like, I've just been able to like, work on me and, like, mentally and all that stuff. So.

[Mari Takahashi]

Do you ever get, like, massages for that?

[Courtney Miller]

I've been getting massages since I was about 13. I've been doing. I've been getting body work, going to chiropractors, therapy, PT, all of it, since I was 13. And it was like, no remedy because it was like internal. It was like an emotional thing that just, like, comes out into, like, your body.

[Olivia Suar]

Crazy how stress can. Like, it. Yeah, it just kind of manifests and in really strange ways.

[Mari Takahashi]

Emotional situations definitely, like, come out and act physically. Like, I think acne is actually my stress. Like, dude, the shutdown. And when we were trying to film sketches and stuff. And even into the start when it's like we're all nervous and trying to get everything back in the grind again. Like, my skin was the worst. Like, literally worse than it was back in 2015 when I started. Like, it was. I literally, in the scenes, I was like, acting or whatever, but in my mind, I'm like screaming. I'm like, no one look at me. I hate this. I hate that there's a close up on my face right now. And it was like. It's just stress. I think a lot of it was stress.

[Courtney Miller]

And I get that. Cause it's like a cycle because you think that everyone's looking at your face and literally no one's ever looking at your face. Like, everyone doesn't care. You know what I mean?

[Mari Takahashi]

They're all focused. They're all worried about themselves, too.

[Courtney Miller]

Totally, totally. But in your mind, it's the loudest thing. And it feels like there's like, like a flashlight, like, on like. Like your pimples. Like, I used to have really bad acne as well. Me too. And it feels so big in your head and it feels so terrible. And then on the outside, it's like. It's like nothing. It's a. It's a weird.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, dude.

[Courtney Miller]

It's a weird thing you have to fight through.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. Now that it's, like, finally clear, I'll, like. I'll be like, looking in the mirror I'm like, oh, I actually have, like, nice other features. You look really good.

[Olivia Suar]

I'm noticing it from across this table and I think your skin looks really great.

[Mari Takahashi]

Thank you.

[Olivia Suar]

I haven't seen it look this clear in a while. Yeah, sorry, that didn't mean to be. No, that's. It literally looks really good.

[Mari Takahashi]

Thank you. I'm even wearing a less coverage foundation now because I don't have any. I just been working on scarring now. That's mostly it. But, yeah, it's all I see. And I feel like I have the plague. And I feel like, oh, if people are messing around, they touch my face. I'm like, oh, God. Do you feel like, oh, do you feel gross that you accidentally touched? It was such a. Oh, my God. But now that it's gone, I don't even think about it at all.

[Courtney Miller]

And that's so crazy because that cycle continues too, where it's like you feel good from the inside, so then your skin responds to it. It's the weirdest cycle. It works together.

[Mari Takahashi]

I see on your Instagram stories sometimes, like when you get those wild facials. Olivia. Yeah, those are fancy looking.

[Olivia Suar]

I used to get them more because when we were traveling to Sacramento a lot, we would be traveling and our makeup was so intense, we would just cake it on and it would be 12 hours and there'd be just more powder on my face and we'd fly back and my skin would just look bad. Like, it's just like your skin, your pores are just clogged. And so I would go get these facials. Now I actually haven't gone in so long because I feel like I've been drinking more water and I'm just taking care of my skin more now.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yes.

[Courtney Miller]

Taking care of ourselves.

[Olivia Suar]

So I guess back to your original question. This is what we've been up to. Self care.

[Mari Takahashi]

Self care. Honestly, same. Like, I. I'm. I am here a lot. But like, self care, like, my whole weekend previously was like, I did laundry and stuff, but then all Sunday was just like, gave my hair treatment, my skin and treatment.

[Olivia Suar]

Just like a brain.

[Courtney Miller]

It's cool that that's just like an overall conversation that's happening for both men and women these days where it's like, like, I love Queer Eye. Like, I think that's such a great show and like, the message is wonderful because at the end of the day, it's like, it's just about caring enough about yourself to give yourself the time to, you know, regardless if you're a woman, you're used to, like, having that sort of, like, mentality of like, oh, you know, you gotta take care of your skin, blah, blah, blah. Like, I think a lot of men don't get that from a young age. I don't know. In some ways, like, society doesn't allow them to care for themselves. And so I think both men and women are, I don't know, just getting the time to talk about it.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

And then people around them understand where it's like, oh, let's go. Let's go out Friday night. You're like, you know what? I'm taking care of myself. And instead of the culture that I think we grew up with and so much so like in the 80s and 90s, where it's like, no, you're. You're a fucking loser if you don't go out. Blah, blah, blah. People are so supportive of it now. Yeah. And I think that's so cool.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Olivia Suar]

It's, like, contagious. It's like, oh, I see you doing this and you're, you're, you're. You're caring about yourself and you're loving yourself. And I see that you're a much happier person. And then it's like, okay, then I'm gonna do that for me too. And it's like, my friends, like, this is like, such a simple thing. Like, my best friends, they all love taking bath. I cannot take a fucking bath because first of all, it's hot and I start sweating and I get dizzy and I'm just, like, not relaxed. I'm so not relaxed when I'm taking a bath. And I see my friends, they come out of their bath and like, oh, my God, I feel so good. And then so I was like, all right, I'm gonna buy some bath salts. And then I start taking these baths now. I took a bath last night.

[Courtney Miller]

You love it now?

[Olivia Suar]

I mean, I love it. I mean, I appreciate it. I feel so calm. And it's because my candles influenced me to, like, do self care. While I'm doing that, I have a hair mask. And then. And then I come out of this whole experience feeling really confident about myself because I just loved myself.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Olivia Suar]

You know what I mean?

[Mari Takahashi]

You spoiled yourself just then.

[Olivia Suar]

And it's just like I walk around with this better positive energy. And I don't feel insecure, like, because I'm taking care of myself.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. I just feel like I don't get clean, like, with the bath. I feel like I have to take a shower also. And I feel like then that, like, cancels Out.

[Courtney Miller]

I feel like if the shower relaxes before and after.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah, before too.

[Mari Takahashi]

What if before just.

[Courtney Miller]

Cause you're before and then. Cause if you don't shower before, then you're sitting in your muck.

[Olivia Suar]

Well, I shower twice a day.

[Courtney Miller]

Shower twice a day.

[Olivia Suar]

You have to shower twice a day.

[Mari Takahashi]

Okay, so what if you. Okay, so you shower before, Scrub everything so it's all clean, and then you can take the bath and not worry about it maybe.

[Olivia Suar]

No, but then your bath.

[Courtney Miller]

But then what if your bathtub's dirty?

[Mari Takahashi]

You get clean from the shower.

[Olivia Suar]

No, no, no.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. No, you need to. I have to scrub my bathtub.

[Olivia Suar]

You don't know what kind of gunk is in your bathtub.

[Mari Takahashi]

I have a nice bathtub. I don't know what the material is, but, like, stuff doesn't really.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah, but still, it's a mental thing.

[Mari Takahashi]

I don't know.

[Courtney Miller]

Let's do a bl. This is what's inside your tub.

[Mari Takahashi]

But yeah, I feel like just the idea of a bath is great. Like, you're just spoiling yourself. Even just a face mask for me, I'm just like, mmm, I did it.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah. And then you're like, I'm so happy. And it just carries out through your day. And it's great.

[Mari Takahashi]

It's nice. Cause it's like self care isn't so much about like, okay, I'm gonna look hot now. It's about feeling good.

[Olivia Suar]

It's from the inside.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. Self care and self love is becoming this thing. And now I don't feel like it's like, oh, I'm. I need to do this because it's gonna make me look pretty. It's like. It literally is like a transformation inside too.

[Olivia Suar]

I gotta say. I feel like I don't see you every day, Courtney. But the energy that I feel from you now when I see you, it's. You're so relaxed and calm and so happy, like from the inside. And it makes me really, really happy to see it. Like, it's just like, you just seem so. I don't know, I just feel like you're so content and so happy. I don't know what you've been doing, but it's. It's working. Like, you look. You look great and you've.

[Mari Takahashi]

Thank you. Oh, God.

[Olivia Suar]

I mean, like, I like, I'm like, so, like, I'm just like, ugh. Just like, I just feel so happy for you and it's just like your energy is so infectious and I just like, I'm like. Not that you were Bad before.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, that's terrible.

[Olivia Suar]

No, you weren't. It's just that I just feel like you're so happy with yourself, and, like, that makes me happy and I'm able to see it, and I just think it's great.

[Mari Takahashi]

Thank you. I don't hear stuff like that very often, or maybe I don't really fully hear it when people say it to me. So it means a lot. And that feels good because I feel happier. I do.

[Olivia Suar]

Good. I can see it. I can feel it.

[Courtney Miller]

Cool. I feel like it's kind of everywhere. I mean, I think a lot of it has to do with our, like, work situation.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah, for sure.

[Courtney Miller]

You know, and it's interesting because I'm sure the audience sees everything from the outside. And, you know, we let people in as much as we want and as much as, like, we can. And like, before, it's like, we were all working together. We love working with each other. And that. That was never like. That was always the constant. It was just the environment that didn't breed happiness for. And now it's so different, and it's coming out in so many different ways. I think it's really cool. I love seeing comments about our upcoming VidCon and, you know, being able to see things like, we're doing stuff all together as one big family.

[Mari Takahashi]

Our meet and greet is all of us.

[Courtney Miller]

How crazy is that? And, like, I love that a for, like, the audience members so that they don't have to use, like, two of their VidCon tickets for two separate groups. I love that we're able to do that because there isn't a corporate overlord being like, no, well, these are two different brands. And how does that work for packaging? And, you know, all these words that don't matter at the end of the day.

[Mari Takahashi]

Totally. I do have an anxiety of, like, because, you know, like, some people come up and they want to hug all of us. And, like, I love that. But, like, the people who work VidCon are like, just one hug. Move it along, please.

[Courtney Miller]

I hope not. I feel like we're. We gotta not.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

You know, we gotta hug everyone. We have to hug everyone.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, I would. To give, like, the moment a moment.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Mari Takahashi]

No purchase necessary. VGW group Void where prohibited by law. 21/members and conditions apply. I'm excited. I'm really excited this year. I don't know if people know this, but Olivia, like, is this weird to say that how you've never slept at VidCon?

[Olivia Suar]

No, it's not weird to say. I still.

[Mari Takahashi]

She's never stayed at the hotel.

[Olivia Suar]

Never stay at the hotel. I'm just, like, not a big fan of sleeping and not my bed. You know what I'm saying? Like, I rather drive. I'd rather be. Cause everyone parties after the day. Like, everyone goes to parties. I'd rather be very sober and drive back and live my life. I'm very, like, about. I love to stick to my schedule. I love to. I wake up, I do a certain routine. I work out, I walk to Starbucks. I just have this routine down. And I just don't like it when it's like. And I seem like such a dull person, you know?

[Mari Takahashi]

But, like, I've never thought that.

[Olivia Suar]

I just love to be comfortable in my space. Like, I turn on my humidifier. I, like, get to sleep next to Sam. We watch tv. And I think this year I might sleep with you if, you know, if things go well. If things go well.

[Courtney Miller]

Wait, what's different? There's gotta be something different. That this year you're like, okay, I.

[Olivia Suar]

Feel okay this year, since I'm coming. I'm literally coming back from Italy the day before, so I might be really tired to even drive back. So I'll probably just crash one of the nights.

[Courtney Miller]

Safety first.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah. And you're gonna be so jet lagged. No, I don't believe in jet lag. Okay, okay, we'll see. My brain.

[Courtney Miller]

VidCon 2019. We'll see.

[Olivia Suar]

Okay, I'll update you guys. But the thing is, I don't believe in jet lag because I can sleep anytime, anywhere.

[Mari Takahashi]

True.

[Courtney Miller]

Do it right now. I could do.

[Olivia Suar]

You know me.

[Mari Takahashi]

She was just sitting here with her eyes closed minutes ago.

[Olivia Suar]

I can fall asleep anytime.

[Courtney Miller]

Courtney's like, olivia, are you meditating? She's like, no, I'm just sleeping.

[Olivia Suar]

I just. That's. Yeah. So you might get me around.

[Mari Takahashi]

Wow, a slumber party. First sleepover since. Seriously? Yeah. I never thought it was like a. Like a.

[Olivia Suar]

It's because I don't like you guys.

[Mari Takahashi]

Like this diva thing. Yeah, no, I could be.

[Olivia Suar]

And I'm down to just own Like, I have certain things in like, that I like to be comfortable with. Like, you know.

[Mari Takahashi]

Do you get your own hotel room when you go?

[Courtney Miller]

No.

[Mari Takahashi]

You share with Boz?

[Courtney Miller]

Last year I shared with Bo's, but then up until then, I always shared with Sohinki.

[Olivia Suar]

What?

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I never got my own hotel room. You share with a guy? Yeah, but I had to do that in ballet as well.

[Mari Takahashi]

That just seemed unheard of. Unheard of.

[Courtney Miller]

Smash for. Since the beginning of like, SG tours and stuff. And like, we did a lot of like overnight stays, like everywhere just for like game cabins and stuff.

[Mari Takahashi]

Winter games.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. So my roomie was always a winky.

[Mari Takahashi]

Wow. Oh, that's cute.

[Olivia Suar]

He's a really clean guy.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. I've been to his place. Like, he.

[Olivia Suar]

He keeps tidy, so I don't.

[Courtney Miller]

He's tighter. He's super tidy. I used to stay at Wes and Joven's house when I wasn't living in LA yet. But I would come down every week to work with SG and they are not very clean. So I was like, okay. I don't want either of them to be my roomies.

[Mari Takahashi]

I lived there too. Yeah.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

You know, for like a year.

[Courtney Miller]

You know, things stack up in the dishwasher and then it's just disgusting.

[Olivia Suar]

Gross.

[Courtney Miller]

And so I was like, I don't want those two. Lasercorn would set me like on fire in the middle of the night. Cause he'd think that it's funny. So. Yeah. So what?

[Mari Takahashi]

He pranked you?

[Olivia Suar]

Wait. He said. Wait, hold up. He set you on fire?

[Courtney Miller]

No, I just feel like he's insane. He's a witch. I just can't trust the man. I'm not the witch. He's the witch. He's insane.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, my God. Dude, that's. I mean, I low key Olivia with the whole hotel thing. Like, I find that it's been great having two beds, just choosing which one I can sleep.

[Olivia Suar]

I'll take some boys home and have.

[Mari Takahashi]

Them sleep in the other bed.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

While I sleep at night.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

I need my space.

[Olivia Suar]

But I like that people were using that bed because I wasn't occupying it.

[Mari Takahashi]

I would use both beds. I was gonna talk about something else that's probably. Wait.

[Olivia Suar]

What?

[Mari Takahashi]

I had a boyfriend one year.

[Olivia Suar]

Oh, so you guys would sleep separately?

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Olivia Suar]

Cool. That's really high.

[Mari Takahashi]

I'm a 50s TV show.

[Courtney Miller]

They had their like, night sacks and they tie it up so make sure there's no hands out.

[Mari Takahashi]

But yeah, no, I definitely. A couple years would be like, which bed should I sleep in tonight? The one I already slept in or the one that's crisp and fresh.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. Pete and I like to do a thing where we call one the staging bed. So it's like, you get to, like, nap in it when you're still, like, in your regular clothes, or, like, sit on it when you're, like, have, like, dirty clothes on or whatever. And then the clean bed after you've showered.

[Olivia Suar]

But that bed is actually not that clean. Like, hotel beds are very dirty.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, no. Let's not get into this. Please don't. I stay in a lot of hotels a lot of the time.

[Mari Takahashi]

Dude. I will say Olivia. Olivia has made me so overly conscious of bacteria.

[Olivia Suar]

Like, to wet wipe everything.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. Stop.

[Courtney Miller]

I eat stuff off the ground, and I'm very happy with it. I just need to keep doing that.

[Mari Takahashi]

I know. Like, I'll notice certain parts of, like, a business establishment, and I'll be like, I wonder how long it's been since someone wiped that. Because probably nobody thinks about that little handle right there.

[Olivia Suar]

Oh. I have not done five finger, palm grab on any knob in years. It's not how I operate my life. Every time I see a knob or a handle, it's like two little fingers. I haven't done the full palm in a long time.

[Mari Takahashi]

Wow. Wow.

[Courtney Miller]

You would be horrified with me. Cause I'll dodge everything.

[Olivia Suar]

You're like, ah, yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

I'll go through, like, security at an airport, use the bins and whatever. Shoes back on, whatever, and then go eat, like.

[Olivia Suar]

Like, a sandwich that's holding the trays like this, like. And I'm just like, I think I.

[Courtney Miller]

Haven'T gotten sick in, like, over. Like, over at least a year and a half. I haven't had a cold. Knocked on wood because I'm gross, dude.

[Olivia Suar]

I haven't gotten a cold because I'm clean.

[Mari Takahashi]

Olivia has acrylic nails. I.

[Olivia Suar]

Even when I'm, you know, I step on the floor, like, my toes are.

[Mari Takahashi]

Like, oh, my God. Yeah. And that. Try not to laugh, gauntlet. She comes out barefoot and, like, so it's incredible how little of her feet.

[Olivia Suar]

Are on the ground.

[Mari Takahashi]

Like, she was almost hovering.

[Olivia Suar]

And the other day we were shooting something. I was wearing Courtney's heels with my bare, like, foot in it, feet in it. I took it out and she saw me wiping it down with Clorox. And I was like, oh, no, it's not you. I just. My feet. It's not your shoe that are dirty. It's like my feet touch the floor. But honestly, it was because I was stepping in your Shoes.

[Mari Takahashi]

It's fine. Those Calvin Kleins are not the cleanest heels. Those are my feels.

[Courtney Miller]

We should do like a vlog of like, reversing each other. Like, you have to do all the things that I do.

[Olivia Suar]

Oh, you would be lucky. I would be in the. I would get the flu immediately. I would literally have strep throat.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. You've been sheltering yourself from building immunities.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, yeah. I'm like harboring a lot. I'm like a petri dish.

[Olivia Suar]

I can't even look at you.

[Courtney Miller]

Biology class and senior year.

[Olivia Suar]

Like, even my friends, like, I like, love to take a lot of vitamin C. I don't take vitamin C. I don't even. I take a lot of oregano oil. I take. I took a shot last night. Not that I was getting sick, but I just love to do preventative work.

[Mari Takahashi]

I feel like the hotel beds. Cause they use white sheets and white towels and everything. Cause they bleach it. So it should be pretty clean and like bacteria free, right?

[Olivia Suar]

Sure.

[Courtney Miller]

Unless you're not okay with bleach and then in that case, it's all over your body.

[Olivia Suar]

I don't know. My body always itches when I'm sleeping. I also sleep naked, so I'm exposed to a lot of germs.

[Courtney Miller]

Olivia sleeps naked.

[Olivia Suar]

I sleep. Everyone knows. So when there's a fire, if anything happens, I'm gonna run out of the hallway naked.

[Courtney Miller]

But then your pajamas won't catch on fire. Because a lot of pajamas are actually like flammable material. That is why it's so you should be careful. I have grown up matching pajamas. What? I think it's so cute. They're from J. Crew.

[Olivia Suar]

Wow.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm like a 45 year old woman. But I'm very proud of them because I was always in T shirts and boxers or whatever I can find. And then I think like maybe a year or two ago, I like Marie Kondo my closet. And then I was like, you know what? I think I deserve matching pajama sets. That's good.

[Olivia Suar]

That's very good for you.

[Courtney Miller]

Is it?

[Olivia Suar]

No, it's actually bad. I don't. I.

[Courtney Miller]

You sleep naked?

[Olivia Suar]

You.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Olivia Suar]

Well, it's because I get woken up in the middle of the night with a wedgie. So I like to prevent that from happening during my slumber.

[Mari Takahashi]

Makes sense. I do. I usually do T shirt. Like, not a real pajamas. Like T shirt boy underwear. Not like boxers or.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah, it gets in the way. It's just.

[Courtney Miller]

I can't do anything tight, though. Like. Like Underwear, like, you know, like, it's always, like, really cute and, like. Like, I don't know, I guess like photos or, like, stuff you see in movies or whatnot, when they're like, oh, little underwear and a little T shirt underwear is like, you wear it all day. I can't wear it at night too. Like, it's just too tight all the time.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, I've definitely wanted to get, like, a little silk pajama set.

[Olivia Suar]

That's so cute.

[Mari Takahashi]

Was that real?

[Olivia Suar]

I mean, I save a lot of money.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, you do. So save money. Be naked.

[Olivia Suar]

Be naked.

[Courtney Miller]

Save the planet. Be naked.

[Mari Takahashi]

But on that vidcon tip, what was Mario? I remember hearing, like, your first vidcon was, like, kind of crazy. Like, because you were, like, with. It was like you were with Ian and Anthony for most of it, and it was like a whole new still. Like, what was that like?

[Courtney Miller]

It was, I think, maybe a year into Smoshpit Weekly was the first vidcon I went with them. And it was, like, still really, like, not organized. Like, we don't have, like, these, like, really, really, like, set schedules and stuff. And so they had a signing and meet and greet, and it was literally just a table and people would line, and it was like, they were like, oh, Mari, do you wanna sit with us? And I was like, okay. And so I just kinda sat there and, like, I think, like, maybe, like, one out of, like, every, like, 10 fans were excited to see me, maybe that. And they're like, oh, you're the. You're the girl. But it was really, really sweet. Like, I still have artwork from that first year that people, like, were nice enough to hand me. And, yeah, it was still like, a very new thing. It was so, like, pure, because, like, you don't. I don't know, unless you were really into, like, like, the YouTube industry. Like, you didn't really know what vidcon was. Like, it wasn't just, like, this, like, household thing that people go to every single year. So it was still really interesting. And. And at that point, like, I still didn't see this as, like, my career. Like, my dancing was my career. This was like an offshoot thing where, like, oh, I did this, like, on, like, one. And, like, and it was just a thing. So I was still in 100% denial that this could be what I do for, you know, a lengthy amount of my time.

[Mari Takahashi]

And there was no smosh games yet.

[Courtney Miller]

No smosh games yet.

[Mari Takahashi]

Whoa. And so that's crazy to me because when you started, like, it was, like, in sketches and stuff. And then I came in, it was like sketches and then still also group stuff. You came on. It was just you in your videos. Like, that's. That's a big step.

[Courtney Miller]

It was a lot of trust, too. It was a lot of trust from Ian and Anthony and Ryan. And Ryan just being like, this is the type of show we want. Go make it. And them full well knowing that I had never edited, never produced, never spoken in front of a camera. I never did anything for comedy, nor have I ever written scripts before. And they gave me full, like, creative and just full trust. Yeah, you know, I learned really, really quick. I did a lot of, like, YouTube tutorials of, like, how to edit on Final Cut Pro. And it was a crazy learning curve, but I absolutely loved every single second of it, even though I had a breakdown every Saturday.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, love that, Mar.

[Olivia Suar]

You're very, like, competent, capable person. Like, you are so good at everything you do.

[Courtney Miller]

It comes from insecurity, though.

[Olivia Suar]

Really?

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, for sure. It comes from insecurity and fear of, like, not being competent. And so, like, for better or for worse, that is the thing that has fueled me. Like, now I can understand where it comes from and I can, like, balance it out of, like, whether things are healthy or not. But, like, for a very long time, I didn't understand that that's where it comes from. Where it's like, like, mari, we need a 50 page letter by tomorrow morning. And I say yes out of the fear of sounding like I can't do it.

[Olivia Suar]

Right. I think we do that a lot. Right. Like, you're able to admit it. And I think a lot of people don't admit that. And I think it's awesome that you just did.

[Courtney Miller]

It's been a long time to understand it. It's like, I think I still catch myself doing it where it's like, why do I have so many things on my plate? It's because I have a fear of saying no. And it's a fear of rejection. Like, if I say no too many times, people stop asking. And so I'm like, oh, I can't say no. So I had to say yes and now I have, like, no time.

[Mari Takahashi]

And yeah, I resonate so hard with that, it hurts.

[Olivia Suar]

I think as a female, you also feel like, I have, for me personally.

[Mari Takahashi]

We can do it.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah, it's like, for me personally, I feel like I have some. First of all, I just want to always say yes because I feel like if I don't, I'll just seem rude or, like, mean or something. And Then I also just want to prove to that person that's asking me to do something that I can do it, you know, And I think, like, I need to trust that I just have to do things that make me fulfilled. And, like, I have nothing to prove to anyone. And I think that's something that I'm still struggling with and just, like, trying to do, you know, Like, I don't know. I struggle with all the time. Sometimes I'm like, oh, I get a script for this, And I'm like, I don't really like it. And it's like, I can also say, no, I don't need to do it. I don't need to do everything.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Olivia Suar]

You know, and, like, taking that pressure off of myself.

[Courtney Miller]

I think women grow up with this chip on our shoulders, and it's like, it comes from so many different things, but I feel like somehow society has continuously have had us grow up with the thought that we're expendable. Like, oh, you can't do it. I'll find someone else who can.

[Olivia Suar]

Exactly.

[Courtney Miller]

And it's like, you know, you and I came up with a dancing background, and it's very much like that. It's like, oh, you can't handle this part. There's a girl who has the exact same body shape as you, who has the same skill, who we can replace in a second. You are absolutely replaceable. And in a lot of ways, like, I think we grow up with that mentality. And, you know, sometimes, like, schools reinforce that, workplaces reinforce that, and it's. It's important to understand what reinforces that in your life and why.

[Olivia Suar]

It's just, I. And to be honest, I felt very replaceable. And when we were at Defy, it felt like I was told.

[Courtney Miller]

They told us that, yeah, they literally.

[Olivia Suar]

Told us, we can replace you easily. And that made me feel like I wasn't valuable. And that type of enforcement just makes you feel like you're not important, you know, and it's just like, even. No. Even though no one's saying that to you, like, oh, you're not important. But then inside, we're sensitive people. And I think that, like, I would think that I'm like, okay, so I don't feel special in this position at all. Like, I feel like you can call another person in and just take my spot. And this just made me feel insecure and, like, very lost.

[Mari Takahashi]

You know, Ian had talked about this one guy at Defy who, like, it felt very weird what his job position was. I remember having lunch with him one Day. It was, like, in the new year of 2018. And it was like. I think he was just trying to, like, get prepared for, like, possibly renewing contracts a few months later. And he was like, yeah, like, so how do you feel? And I was like, you know, like, things feel kind of strange lately. Like, there's been layoffs and. And, you know, like, I'm starting to really, like, feel like the mortality of this job. And he was like, well, you know, you should. And, like, it's so weird, like, as a human being, just being, like, having that rug ripped under you because, like, okay, so then is what I'm doing meaningless to you? Because I don't feel like it was like. I think a lot of times it's like, a form of power to make someone feel like they're replaceable. It's like, in relationships, even, it's, like, manipulative, because it's like, I know I'm working my ass off, and you're saying you could still easily replace me. And it's like, I sometimes, like, don't believe that person. I don't believe that.

[Courtney Miller]

It's like, straight up, like, Stockholm syndrome is what we were going through.

[Olivia Suar]

Exactly.

[Courtney Miller]

Or it's like, we love being with each other so much that we take the abuse from people who. Who aren't even in the room with us ever, who never stepped foot in our office, but who have the power to tell us, like, oh, we're gonna start phasing you out. Which is what they started telling me. And I was like, cool.

[Mari Takahashi]

They actually said that to you?

[Courtney Miller]

Yup. And I'm like, cool. The thing that I've been working on is not really ours.

[Mari Takahashi]

Cool. When did that happen? Was it phasing out when they stopped Smosh Pit weekly? Or was it later on in, like, just game.

[Courtney Miller]

It was games stuff. So it was. It was basically like, oh, little. A little less. Little less, like, you know, in a more timely fashion of, like, oh, people won't notice sort of thing. And it's like.

[Olivia Suar]

It's.

[Courtney Miller]

It's weird because it started to feel so far away from what we had all, you know, put so much time and effort into. And it's. I don't know, it's incredible how we've been able to scoop up everything and then, like, start over and, like, start, like, building this, like, mashed potato of, like, fun stuff and all the good stuff, you know, and it's. I think it's incredible that all the good stuff remained out of all that.

[Olivia Suar]

And I think this person that you're mentioning also told me that he would compare my work to another person's work within the company. And it's like, you should do it like this person, because you should follow in this person's footsteps. I'm like, well, this person's journey and their life is completely, completely different than mine. Like, we're not the same person. And I don't like that type of authority, especially from someone who has not lived my life, who does not look like me, tell me how I should carry out my career and journey just because this other female did it right, and he approved the way she did it. Do you know what I mean? And it's just like, I remember hearing that I'm like, I'm sorry that I'm not doing something the way you envisioned my career to be, like. And I'm like. But at the same time, I shouldn't feel apologetic about that because the thing is, like, we're instilled, like, this competitiveness, especially amongst, like, women, to. It's like, you compare biological.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Olivia Suar]

And it's like, you. I don't need someone to compare me to someone because I already feel a lot of insecurities within myself, you know? So it's like, I remember feeling pretty down, and I'm like, why am I letting this person of me? You know? And it's like, we can all help each other. And, like, great. I admire the way you came up. I admire the way you do your thing. Like, and I should also admire the way that I'm handling whatever I'm doing. So that's so rough.

[Mari Takahashi]

That's like hearing a parent being like, why can't you be more like your sister? Exactly, because I'm not my sister.

[Olivia Suar]

And it's like, would I ever say that to another person? Like, hey, you should do this. Like, this person. It's like, I thought, you know, we're all individuals, we do our own thing, and it's.

[Mari Takahashi]

There's just so much more constructive ways of doing any kind of criticism for someone.

[Courtney Miller]

I think it's going back to, like, competition. I think one of the coolest moments that I had in my life, and it came late. It came really, really late in my life is just realizing that there's so much abundance everywhere. And honestly, like, Pam was, like, 1. Like, she is the person that opened that up for me and, like, really, like, melted so many of, like, my walls because I realized that, you know, there's. There's no reason to, like, I don't know, see other people's competition. Like, it's just such a small, like, way of. Of seeing things. But in our adolescence and when we're growing up, it's like when the pool is so small, you feel that, like. Like there's only one really cute boy in the sixth grade class or whatever. And it's like those things that are, like, biologically, like, inherent in us, like, come out in the worst way. I think, in adulthood, I've realized, like, there's. There's. There's so much to go around. And especially now in an era where we're creating our own jobs and, like, making up things that we can do and, like, how to work with the people we want to work with. Like, in that world, there is so much abundance. There's no reason to be, like, that should have been mine, that shouldn't have been that person's.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah, I just. I think that for me, one of my biggest hurdles that I need to get through is because I grew up, you know, doing ballet, always in competitions, it's being competitive with other classmates in your class. And it's just, like, instilled in me that it's like, I have to be really good. But then at the same time, I'm still dealing with that now. It's just like, there is a lot to go around. And I think people are creating their own jobs. And, like, I'm always so hard on myself. No, you're not doing enough. You're not. You're not trying hard enough. And then, like, that's something that I struggle with daily. Maybe that's one of the reasons why I have to wake up, do this thing, do this thing. Because I have to feel like my schedule is so jam packed that I'm being productive.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. Like, you can always be better.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

Like, I was just dealing that with that this morning. We were, like, recording. We have a song that we're recording, we're filming. I'm really excited with that with you guys. But, like, it's one of those things that I especially felt where it's like, I could have done that better. I could have done more with today. I could have done more yesterday. Like, it's just constantly, like, needing to be more than what you are, which sucks. And then it's like, I don't want to give that up either because I don't want to be lazy and not be thinking about how I could be better. Like, I don't want to just be like, meh, I'm fine worrying. I don't do anything. But at the same time, you want to be happy and sure of yourself.

[Olivia Suar]

Us working in social media as public figures and stuff like that. We're also surrounded by other public figures. And now before, it's like you didn't have social media to update you on your friends success or other people's how they look. And now you can see in an instant, it's like, oh, this person's doing this. Oh, my God. Wow. And look at me, I'm not doing this. Or like, this person looks like this and I still look like this. And it's like, now you get to see it instantly. For me, it gets overwhelming sometimes, but I have to remember, it's like I'm staying true to who I am. I'm not gonna let other things affect me. Like, this is. I wanna live my life as a very authentic person. But it's hard because there's all these outside sources that come into play.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. Now we have, like, other perspectives. It's like when you don't know any different, you're just doing your life. That's one thing. But since we're seeing hundreds of people's different, more successful or less successful lives. Yeah, yeah. You can't help but compare yourself. I mean, even when we first came on, we were compared to Ian and Anthony and, like, why it sucked that we were there at first. Like, I don't know how much hate you got when you first started, but, like, it was like a year or two before people were, like, really down for us. Did you. Was it rough at all?

[Olivia Suar]

I heard she had the roughest.

[Mari Takahashi]

Like, oh, that's right. You were like the first. So it makes sense.

[Courtney Miller]

It was weird because it was always Ian and Anthony. And so having another person, and especially it being another girl was like a double whammy.

[Olivia Suar]

Who was Asian?

[Courtney Miller]

Who. You know, I mean, I don't. Yeah. I mean, it played into really easy jokes and really easy, like, pokes for, like, Asian people. But it was. So much of it was like, oh, how did you get on the channel? Which guy are you sleeping with, Ian or Anthony? And it very much becomes this. This play of, like, oh, the only reason why a woman can succeed in anything is if she's sleeping with somebody. And that became a very relevant sort of piece of conversation. And, you know, I'm on the outside and we're. We're all on the outside enough. And, you know, we were all in our respective relationships that, like, it was such a comfortable thing to look at from the outside. I saw it as something really interesting to see where I was just like, man, Sexism happens on both ends. It's not just men or women saying. It's like. It's both saying this, where it's like, the only reason why I'm on here is it had to have been that. And so, yeah, I would say that my dislike to, like, ratio was about 55 to 60% for, I don't know how long, Ryan. Like, a year and a half. Yeah, every Saturday. And this was when, like, you could still see, like, the green bar to the red bar. Yeah, it was. It. It was 50. 50. But, you know, I mean, I think in a lot of ways, like, I was able to create a bubble around me and see it just from, like, the aspect of, like, why people would see me as. That I was a threat. I was a threat on their, like, you know, their teen idols of, like, Ian and Anthony, the perfect boys, you know? And I remember being like that with, like, NSync. Like, when Britney Spears started dating Justin, I was like, oh, my God, there goes my chance. What a bitch. I hate that. Could have been my guy. And I remember that mentality of it being so real to me that when I saw that and they're like, oh, now she's gonna take them away. I'm like, ah, I understand where you're coming from. It's not that. But I hope you know I can earn you with merit.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Ryan Seacrest here. When you have a busy schedule, it's important to maximize your downtime. One of the best ways to do that is by going to chumba casino.com. chumba Casino has all your favorite social casino games like spin slots, bingo, and solitaire that you can play for free for a chance to redeem some serious prizes. So hop on to chumbacasino.com now and live the Chumba life. Sponsored by Chumba Casino.

[Mari Takahashi]

No purchase necessary VGW Group void where prohibited by law 21/ terms and conditions apply. I remember when we had our first episode of Seriously Super Stupid Sleepover come out. We were like, cool, it's out. And I had no idea that that was being uploaded in place of Smoshpit Weekly. Like, I didn't know that there was a. Like, I was like, what? I was like, oh, this is replacing something. I had no idea. And, like, I didn't know you, like, at all at that point. And, like, so the fans were really upset, like, at first. Yeah, I remember it's such a different, strange show, and it's so weird that.

[Courtney Miller]

They create that competition as if, like, you guys took my spot. Like, it wasn't that, like, the show was coming to an end.

[Olivia Suar]

I had no idea until I read the comments, and I was like, oh, same. And then you're like, now I'm feeling really bad that I did. It's like, we did wrong by you.

[Mari Takahashi]

We had no idea.

[Courtney Miller]

And it's not that. Yeah, but I don't know. I think I always have to put myself in the position of fans. And it's like, by them saying that to you guys, they're defending me. Like, they. They have some sort of pressure to, I don't know, defend me in some way.

[Mari Takahashi]

It's like, how the tables have turned.

[Courtney Miller]

It's the crazy thing about that.

[Olivia Suar]

It repeats itself.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. But it's also, like, why start shit, you know?

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, totally. And then the first Summer Games was, like, pretty quickly after that, I think.

[Courtney Miller]

Was it really? That came real fast.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. I mean, I was brought on April, early April, and Summer Games was on my birthday that year. And I think we did, like, the shoot. I don't know. I don't know how the timing lined.

[Courtney Miller]

Up, but, like, what was that like for you guys?

[Mari Takahashi]

I feel like I came in hot. Like, I came in and they were like, oh, make vines. And we did all that stuff. And, like, you, Olivia, you and Keith and Noah, like, were just coming out of this, like, slump because they hired you guys. And then you were just like, tell me like that. Yeah.

[Olivia Suar]

Nobody really told us, like, our job title.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, I remember that.

[Olivia Suar]

And it was like, I was. I mean, for me, I was very confused. I thought I was brought on to be an actor. Didn't know I was brought on to be also a personality. I didn't even think. I was so confused, but I was doing this with two other people who were just as confused. So we were just, like, trying. Like, nobody was really talking to us unless we were needed. So it was very confusing. I wish there was someone who told us, hey, this is what it is. And, like, you know, this is what you're required to do, because I remember.

[Courtney Miller]

You guys would spend, like, eight hours at the office. Yeah.

[Olivia Suar]

Doing nothing. Just watching, like, old smosh sketches and getting to know each other. But, yeah, it was really interesting, but. And then when you guys came in, you had this burst of energy, and we were just like, we've been doing this for, like, three months, and we're like. We're kind of just like. We're not sure what we're doing. Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

You guys were contractually told to pretty much just stare at a wall eight hours a day and then really come in. And all of a sudden, they're doing personality content and having us do vines and all this crazy stuff.

[Olivia Suar]

And we had to immediately gel. Like, we had to immediately become these best friends. And that was so odd because there was no training program. It's like, you gotta do this.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. We had a lunch.

[Olivia Suar]

Be friends. And we had one lunch, and we're like, all right. So, I mean, I knew Courtney and Shane knew Noah, and it was just so weird. And it's like, you had to turn it on. And I never understood what that really meant until I was like. There was this video where I looked like I was pissed, but I wasn't pissed.

[Mari Takahashi]

You just didn't know. I remember this.

[Olivia Suar]

This is just who I am as a person. As a person. I'm not on. I'm a very real.

[Mari Takahashi]

Chill.

[Olivia Suar]

Chill. I don't. It's not who I am. And then I realized. I quickly figured out that YouTube fans and people who watch YouTube want to see you very engaged and interested. And it wasn't that I wasn't engaged or interested. I was. Was just. I thought this was me. Like, I'm just who I am. So. And then it's just like, okay, you really have to, like, be very interactive, you know? And, like, so. But then we all became. I think we had, like, you and I had a rough patch because I didn't know. I think it's like, we knew each other as friends outside of work. So when you start working with a person, you really understand, like, oh, this is how they work. It's very. It becomes. You see a different side of them that you're not used to seeing.

[Mari Takahashi]

We were four feet away from each other eight hours a day. Yeah.

[Olivia Suar]

And it was like, okay, so now we have to bond in a way that wasn't, like, how we were. It's like, oh, now I have to. We also have to somehow mesh together in a work environment. And I think it was. And there were a lot of people. Not a lot. Maybe there was one person who would be in both of our ears or other people's ears, talking shit about each other, like, oh, she said this about you. He said this about you. And it's just, like, perpetuating the competitiveness and the.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, dude, that's not.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah. And it's just like. But I quickly understood. I was like, that's not how you're supposed. Like, first of all, you shouldn't meddle between cast members who are supposed to be best friends, you know? Like. And I remember this one.

[Mari Takahashi]

Was that, like, one of the producers.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah. It was really damaging. It was really damaging to have someone who was an authority figure go and start creating these allies and rivalries between each of us. And I don't know if I'm. I'm just being very honest about what happened, and, like, that's real.

[Mari Takahashi]

That particular person enjoyed stirring the pot.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

That's so raw.

[Mari Takahashi]

Because I think he felt like it was making him closer to each of us.

[Olivia Suar]

Yes. Yes.

[Mari Takahashi]

And it's just so easy to manipulate two girls who are now on this channel and have to be good. And I know that I came in very hot and just eager because it was like, YouTube was my dream job and a lot. And I just like you, I wasn't told a lot of stuff, so I didn't understand a lot of things. So I would act entitled towards certain things. So there was a lot that made it hard to mess. For sure.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah. And I think it was because it was our first job. Like, none of us. We were all actors. Like, none of us were in this environment, so we really had to learn how to communicate with each. I don't know if Smosh games was like that as well, but.

[Courtney Miller]

No, we just talked shit to each other. Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

Like, you guys are real. You guys are pretty good about that.

[Olivia Suar]

We were just so held back. Like, we. Until we realized we were gonna be with each other for the next four years, and we just had to, if we wanted to, to work together. Like, we couldn't be selfish. Like, our goal had to be the same goal. And, like, we had to really just bond and be open with each other. And, like, there was a priority there.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Olivia Suar]

And I remember my ways of doing things shifted. Like, how I approached a problem shifted. It's like, okay, how are we gonna make this productive? And, like, how are we gonna like each other and, like, be close without.

[Courtney Miller]

I wonder if, like, BTS goes through the same thing. I don't know.

[Olivia Suar]

It's hard.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Olivia Suar]

I'm sure. I don't know.

[Courtney Miller]

I feel like a K pop band on here.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah. Let's talk about how they all mesh.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, my God. So many of them.

[Olivia Suar]

But now, like, we love each other. And literally, it was probably like six months later, we're all like, okay, like, I love you. Like, you're like my sibling. Like, you know, it was just like the Rocky first.

[Mari Takahashi]

It's growing pains. It's reintroduced, finding the equilibrium. And, like, Joe and Matt Robb originally were like summer games because it was, sure, it was cool content, but it was also. They're like, it's time for these people to like really like bond, like games and sketch together. And then that was really fun.

[Courtney Miller]

It was like really like the only two times that we got to come together. And they were like, wonderful. It was amazing. And those shakes.

[Mari Takahashi]

First week was the first summer games. He was the ref.

[Olivia Suar]

He wants me to remember we were saying how things just repeat itself. I remember when Anthony left and Ian had to come back to the group and also gel with us and understand and try to see us at a friend level as a person. And that was also really interesting too. Cause it's like he was with Anthony and they had their thing and then him coming and joining the squad dynamic. We also had growing pains with that. And like you and Shane were very like open and vocal and told him like, I hate confrontation. So I just was like, just listening. But you guys were also like, hey, this is how we do things. And you guys made it a point to include him and feel open to like discussing certain issues with him. And I thought that was really awesome too because that's exactly what we did with the squad. So. And now Ian, I see him as a friend and someone that I can be like, hey, that was rude what you said, you know, like I couldn't. Now I feel the liberty be like, hey, that wasn't cool. And like that just brings us closer.

[Mari Takahashi]

Dude. Remember when we first started and like Ian and Anthony were like never in the building. It was like seeing like nowadays. Cause Rhett and Link are so frickin busy. We'll maybe see them pass by. Also our office is like kind of not connected to theirs fully. But that's like how it was with Ian and Anthony. Like they'd maybe pop in and be like, hey. Be like, oh my God. Hey, how are you? Okay, bye. Now it's like they were like Charlie.

[Olivia Suar]

Charlie's Angels.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, hi, Charlie.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I forgot about that. They would come in like once every two weeks or something. Huh?

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, I mean, Smosh. The movie was coming out in the beginning.

[Olivia Suar]

They were busy boys.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

I think I remember Anthony like saying like, we're basically as busy as a president.

[Courtney Miller]

Like he said that.

[Mari Takahashi]

I don't know if he's joking, but he definitely said that. Hilarious.

[Olivia Suar]

That's funny.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. I think by then they were both off of games, so it was kind of expected that we didn't see them.

[Mari Takahashi]

But yeah, you guys were in the dark corner.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh yeah, we were in the cave. Yeah, they shoved us in a cave because we were always too loud.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh yeah, you guys, you two had like A slender.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, my God. Do you remember that?

[Olivia Suar]

Oh, my God.

[Courtney Miller]

You were so nauseous.

[Olivia Suar]

I hate that. I'm like, everyone knows I like to not do that. What the hell was that? Like, I had to like, why was I so dizzy? Would I have to wear anything on my eyes?

[Courtney Miller]

I don't think so.

[Olivia Suar]

I think I was watching this.

[Courtney Miller]

I think we were just playing and, you know, like, we normally record for like an hour, 15, hour and a half. I think you tapped out at, like, 20 minutes.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

And I was like, I literally.

[Olivia Suar]

First of all, the cave had no air. It was so hot.

[Courtney Miller]

It was all dark.

[Olivia Suar]

I'm play this game I've never played. Don't really know how to use those consoles, like, those buttons. And I'm just like, watching this. I'm like, I literally am about to throw up on Mari. I'm like, that is why I watch the Real Housewives and I don't watch Slenderman. I was like, oh, God.

[Courtney Miller]

I was like, that was a very fond memory of mine. You were just like, I did not feel good.

[Olivia Suar]

I was like, what am I doing? And then we were supposed to be talking to each other. I'm like, I can't even focus on one thing, and I'm doing both.

[Courtney Miller]

You're so out of your element.

[Olivia Suar]

So out of my element. But I was confused. I'm like, all right, cool. Hate games. The only game I like is Rummy Cube.

[Mari Takahashi]

What's Rummikube?

[Olivia Suar]

It's like a board game for old ways. Women.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, that's not.

[Olivia Suar]

It's a very old, old game. It's about patterns and numbers. Love that game. Don't like games on a screen.

[Mari Takahashi]

You don't have games on your phone.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah, Instagram.

[Courtney Miller]

Nice.

[Olivia Suar]

My favorite game, Face Tuning.

[Mari Takahashi]

Facetunes. A game for sure.

[Courtney Miller]

It's a game. With that said, now you're. You're. You're a video gamer now. I mean, you've always played games, but now you're, like, on the chat.

[Mari Takahashi]

I've always loved video games, but, yeah, this is. This was crazy. I didn't realize how big of a deal this. The Sims show release was until, like, you started talking with me about it. Because I was like, holy. Holy shit. Like. Cause did you ever have a show where it was just you?

[Courtney Miller]

Yes.

[Mari Takahashi]

You did.

[Courtney Miller]

Original Mario Craft was Super Mario Funtime.

[Mari Takahashi]

It was just you.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

Okay, cool. Because I was really scared. I was like, wait, is this the first show that is just a female host and nothing else? Because that just felt really shitty to me to be like, Taking that from you. Because, like, I don't know. You didn't. There was no, like, handing off the lantern or if that's a thing. Torch.

[Olivia Suar]

I was really offended because nobody approached me to play Slenderman.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, my gosh. If we could just have, like, little bits of you playing Slender man, like, for 20 minutes only at a time.

[Mari Takahashi]

Just drool from the nostrils.

[Courtney Miller]

But Sims is fun.

[Olivia Suar]

I used to play Sims as a kid. That's, like, very fun.

[Mari Takahashi]

I played Sims 2 one time. I played it for, like, 12 hours straight, and it was at my friend's house. She was, like, napping while I played.

[Courtney Miller]

Hilarious.

[Mari Takahashi]

So it just. It's very on brand. It's like, it's the perfect show for me if I were to have any show. I'm really excited. I'm super embarrassed.

[Courtney Miller]

It did so well, and I love it just as an audience member. Like, I don't even. I, like, I don't want to see any episodes in advance. Like, I want to watch it as purely an audience member because I'm genuinely curious what happens. You didn't make any bathrooms for our crappy house.

[Mari Takahashi]

I didn't.

[Courtney Miller]

James House sucks because I didn't have enough time.

[Mari Takahashi]

Okay. So I had one day where I literally was on Sims 4, prepping for hours, and, like, Damian and Shane would come in and, like, hang out with me while I did it. And then I had. They were like. Matt, Rob was like, oh, okay, and now make more. But, like, you only have, like, a.

[Olivia Suar]

Couple hours to do it.

[Mari Takahashi]

I was like, okay. So I didn't get to, like, make each room, like, on brand for you guys. And then I forgot a fucking bathroom.

[Olivia Suar]

It's so good.

[Mari Takahashi]

I also forgot to make Ian like an idiot.

[Courtney Miller]

People were so mad.

[Mari Takahashi]

I made Matt, Rob, and Sarah, but I didn't make Ian.

[Courtney Miller]

Hilarious.

[Mari Takahashi]

Like, I'm so stupid. Well, here's the thing. When I first started playing Sims 4 in the. In the office, because that was my first time playing it ever. I've played Sims 2 literally up until six months ago. And I was like, oh, okay. To practice and play a little bit. I'll make Ian. I'll see what building a house is like, and whatever. And so I made him. And I think I thought he was already in the map, but it turns out I was on the Steam version, which is a different platform where the game was. And they're like, okay, well, here's Sims.

[Courtney Miller]

So he has his own world.

[Mari Takahashi]

He's in his own separate universe.

[Courtney Miller]

He's got his whole own world. Yeah, maybe those Two universes will collide one of these days.

[Mari Takahashi]

Endgame.

[Courtney Miller]

Endgame.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. So I think he needs to. I'll make him. I will.

[Courtney Miller]

I think, like, the podcast, your show has a very different candor and. And I think that's so cool. I love it because Smash Games is always, like, group dynamics, like, freaking crazy, off the wall people, you know, talking at the same time, yada, yada, yada. And podcast allows for you guys, everyone, all of us, to have a very different tone. And I think your show does that too. And I love that there's a variety.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Courtney Miller]

We need that.

[Mari Takahashi]

Thank you. I definitely like filming. It felt so weird to me because, like, literally no one was in the room except for Brennan, our camera operations guy. And that was so strange to me. Like, even having him, just him in the back, I was like, thank God. Because, like, I am so used to bouncing off of someone in these videos. So, like, it felt so weird to be just me in the center of attention. Like, I still don't know how I feel about it. Like, even hosting podcasts, like, I'm like, I don't know how I feel about being, like, leading on something. It feels very strange.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

Thank you, guys.

[Courtney Miller]

It's all, like, part of the glow up, and it's like, it's such a weird play on, like, you know, we've gone through our lives this far and we're still insecure. Like, we still get insecure all the time.

[Olivia Suar]

And I think that's something I have no eyebrows on.

[Mari Takahashi]

Dude, you look great.

[Olivia Suar]

Oh, thank you.

[Courtney Miller]

I think it's important that everyone knows that it happens. Insecurities, just, you know, we hide it when we hide it well on social media.

[Olivia Suar]

Yes.

[Courtney Miller]

You know, and it's. It's. I think that something that we're all really conscious about, but we also still really struggle about. I think when an audience sees just our social, like, it's important to continuously have that conversation of, like. Like all the glamorous, like, crazy things. That's not us 24 7.

[Olivia Suar]

Like, that is me 24 7.

[Courtney Miller]

I believe I'm gonna be in Italy as.

[Olivia Suar]

So I'm gonna be in Italy very soon.

[Courtney Miller]

I need my humidifier.

[Olivia Suar]

I need my humidifier. No, it's like aversion. Everything is always aversion. You know, like, the version of me going to Trader Joe's is not really the version of me going at home.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah.

[Olivia Suar]

Just kidding. I'm literally the same way. I'm just saying everything you see on social media is literally 10% of the whole person.

[Mari Takahashi]

I think that's probably why we feel all insecure about being better in our lives, is because we're seeing the social media versions of other people's lives and we're like, oh, I'm supposed to have that great of a too.

[Olivia Suar]

Like, I see Kourtney drinking smoothies after her workout. That's all I think she does. But she is literally more than that.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. I could be taking those flexing mirror photos and stuff. People wouldn't know I go to the gym if I didn't post even just those smoothie photos. That's the thing. Unless you're shoving it in people's faces, the people watching really don't know anything other than what you put out there. It's crazy how much we think we know people. And now people are on YouTube sharing way too much.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

And it's now, like, becoming like now. It's expected. Sometimes it's like you.

[Olivia Suar]

It's like, as a fan, I expect you to be very open about these things. And like, you know, and it's like sometimes you are just. Sometimes I just am at the Chick Fil a drive thru crying. Okay.

[Courtney Miller]

We all need those moments.

[Mari Takahashi]

We all need to try and see.

[Olivia Suar]

That part because it's that. Don't you know it's weird to film yourself crying. Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

So don't forget to sigh before you do, though.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. I love that video. The girl who's just crying and doing.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Selfies like Ryan Seacrest here. When you have a busy schedule, it's important to maximize your downtime. One of the best ways to do that is by going to chumbacasino.com. chumba Casino has all your favorite social casino games like spin slots, bingo and solitaire that you can play for free for a chance to redeem some serious play prizes. So hop on to chumbacasino.com now and live the Chumba life. Sponsored by Chumba Casino.

[Mari Takahashi]

No purchase necessary VGW Group void where prohibited by law 21/ terms and conditions apply.

[Courtney Miller]

I had a thought and I forgot what it was.

[Mari Takahashi]

What the. Mari.

[Olivia Suar]

You better remember, dude.

[Courtney Miller]

It was. It was your face that I was like.

[Mari Takahashi]

Took it away.

[Courtney Miller]

Well, no, I was fully focused on it.

[Mari Takahashi]

I'm like, that's really funny. Sometimes I just want to, like, put out a funny sketch and for the viewers, be like, ha, ha. And then just move on. And that's the exchange. Not like I need to know every bad thing you've ever done.

[Olivia Suar]

Or sometimes it's like I look at my stories and everything I posted was me in bed. But they forget that 90% of my day was spent outside running errands doing all of this. But they're like, oh, she's probably just. Her life must be this way. She must be a lazy fuck if she's just in bed all day, you know? But it's like, oh, no, that was just me for.

[Courtney Miller]

It's that like iceberg analogy.

[Mari Takahashi]

Right?

[Courtney Miller]

Like you see like the iceberg above water, but then there's like a lot underneath. Yeah. But, you know, I mean, the way that we do broadcast our lives, people think that that's the full package. And I can understand why someone would think that because I think that of other people. You know, and it's like, it's important to just keep having the conversation that it's not.

[Olivia Suar]

I just have to find like an equilibrium that what I show other people is interesting. But then my life as myself is also very abundant and interesting and not what people see isn't everything. I have to be really solid myself and be confident as without. That's one of the things is that am I the same without all the exterior stuff added onto me? Like, am I. Do I think I'm valuable in my eyes without being a member of smosh being having beautiful hair. I'm just kidding. You know, it's like, I do guys, you know.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. But like the other week I went on a hike with my friend and like, it was really nice. It was like awesome view. It was where that top of the world where there was a piano. As we were leaving, our friend was like, do you want me to take a picture of you or anything? And like, there's definitely times where you're somewhere beautiful and you're doing something special and not common that you do in your life. But in those moments I'm just like, no, I think I want this one for me. And that like, makes it feel more special. Like nobody else knows that I had this amazing day for sure.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Lot with like conversations where it's just like, oh, that would have been a great podcast. But it's also really nice to just have like a sit down lunch with someone you really like, enjoy or admire.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

And just. Just talk.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah. Not be on my phone real person. Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Olivia Suar]

I need to check myself all the time with that stuff too.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm just like checking your phone.

[Olivia Suar]

Well, yeah. Or just like sometimes I'll be in a very like, great conversation and then the side of my. I'm like, I did not check my phone once. I'm like, I'm really happy That I didn't. Like, I'm back to just. Just. I'm so connected with this person. And that's like.

[Mari Takahashi]

It's like the epitome of sunset photos on Instagram. It's like you see something beautiful or something's happening and you feel like you instantly need to document it and show that it happened. Otherwise it didn't. And it's like, that's. People should not live their lives that way. Like, it's.

[Olivia Suar]

Sunset happens every day.

[Mari Takahashi]

Sunset literally happens every day, many times a day, technically. Cause it's around the world, constantly happening, constantly happening, constantly sunset, constantly being photographed, constantly being liked on Instagram.

[Courtney Miller]

I mean, it's a weird tie to, like, mortality though, right? Like, it all comes from the fear of dying. Like, we want proof of something happening so that we can, like, at the end of the day be like, I did that. And then 10 years later be like, that happened. And I have proof of it and there's something tangible. But, you know, I mean, it's.

[Olivia Suar]

I have the best days when it's not documented on my Instagram.

[Courtney Miller]

That's really cool.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

That's really beautiful to know.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah. But not saying that what I'm showing you guys isn't like a best day. Like, I. The one thing is, like, if I am showing how happy I am, I better be fucking happy myself inside, you know? It's like, if I'm faking it, I just feel like a really bad person inside. Like, I just feel icky that I'm faking my happiness to people. It's not authentic because I look at people and they're faking it, and I just lose my trust in them, you know, I'm just like, ugh, you're hurt. Just not real, you know? And I just wanna.

[Mari Takahashi]

With documenting stuff like you said. Mari. There was a weird thing that I went through with when we did my diary videos where we read my middle school diaries. I now am, like, doing a diary again. Like, just keeping a journal. Because I think it's that same thing. I wanna document these things. And it was actually really nice. Cause when I am combing through those diaries and not cringing my ass off, there's a lot that I'm like, wow, I did that. Or, wow, it's crazy that I have. I had this mentality at this specific time. And it's like, actually really cool to be able to have that documented, to look back on for myself. And it's private. It's for me. And so that's why I started doing the journal. Again, we're never making videos of these ones, but who knows?

[Courtney Miller]

You'll be 60 years old, and it's like, okay, let's go through Courtney's.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, no.

[Olivia Suar]

Cause our videos that we shoot of each other when we're on set and we're not. You know, I love that. The stories of us just having fun. You and I rap, battling. Like, that's. I love that. Cause then that's a memory. And I do it because I'm, like, so happy in the moment with you guys doing that. That's really real to me. And I get to say. And I watch those videos, like, ones in Sacramento. I'll watch us goofing off.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, dude, it's Sacramento days. But that's so true. Like, if Keith gets a funny snap of me, or I guess I call it snap. It's Instagram. I would. I tell him to save it and send it to me. I won't even post it. I just want it.

[Olivia Suar]

Me too.

[Mari Takahashi]

It'll go away.

[Courtney Miller]

Well, it's this weird, like, tangibility of, like, needing digital proof. Yeah. Proof that things happened.

[Mari Takahashi]

Mm.

[Courtney Miller]

We're just changing as humans. I don't think. I don't think it's anything, like, terrible or daunting. It's just, like. It's just important to know that we are changing as. As humans. And, like, what we need in order to feel like our life is. You know, it's being lived, and there's some sort of memory that goes along with it that's not just stuffed in our brains.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. And it's good to, like, have things that remind you of those good memories, because it's like. Because sometimes you'll have a day, like, I'll be like, man, I'm so not happy. Like, why does it feel like nothing is good right now? But then you're like, I can see, like, literally yesterday, I was having. I was dancing with Keith, and you're like, there are good things that I have.

[Courtney Miller]

Perspective, change.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

And, like, who you are a year ago is not gonna be the person you are today. That journey's good. That journey's good to know.

[Mari Takahashi]

I'm a Gemini, and I'm constantly changing.

[Olivia Suar]

So you got, like, 100 different faces.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm a Scorpio, which makes me a weird Scorpio.

[Mari Takahashi]

Can't even tell you a Scorpio. Get out. I know.

[Courtney Miller]

I watched it. You watch the sketch, and I'm like, oh, my God. We're the crazy ones.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

The Gemini scene hit me. That was so real, how Shane acted as A Gemini. I was like, damn, that's me.

[Olivia Suar]

Really? I don't feel like you are like that. I didn't know that you guys were your signs until now. Really?

[Mari Takahashi]

What are you? I don't know.

[Olivia Suar]

I'm a Leo.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, yeah. That's why we're friends. Only reason.

[Olivia Suar]

Only reason. The only way I picked you.

[Courtney Miller]

Cause you're a Leo. Do we have time? I have a question for you guys.

[Mari Takahashi]

Do it.

[Courtney Miller]

I have a question for you guys being female writers of sketch, because I recently watched Always Be My maybe. And I've always hated rom coms. Like, growing up, I never liked them. And I realized why I never liked them. And it's because of the way women are depicted in rom coms. And it's for the first time since, like, crazy rich Asians and, like, a few rom coms here and there that I've now realized women are written differently. And I think it's because women are writing women like characters now.

[Olivia Suar]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

But you guys, being in the position that you guys are in, being able to write how you guys are depicted, how has that been empowering? And how's that been cool for you guys?

[Mari Takahashi]

I mean, it wasn't always like that, which is a thing. When we first started, I mean, remember when we just kind of come in, say a couple lines, and peace out. That was.

[Olivia Suar]

And do a thumbnail photo.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. Make sure they got that cleavage shot. Yeah.

[Olivia Suar]

Not from me. I got no cleaves.

[Mari Takahashi]

I mean, they tried.

[Courtney Miller]

A lot of face tape.

[Olivia Suar]

Lot of that.

[Mari Takahashi]

But, yeah, it's come a long way. I made a dig at one point when we were doing some writing, and I was like, you know, it's really like, there's a lot of scenes where the dude enters and it's like, ha, ha. Yes. Here is this conflict, and the female follows around going, yes. And then the male goes, ah, ha ha. I fixed the conflict. And she goes, oh, dude. And then the scene's over. Like that. That's how a lot of scenes seem to me. But, like, it definitely. It's just cool. Even just being able to write it at all and just have. Being given that ability definitely makes things feel better and you feel more in control because. And I'm totally talking. Sorry. Anyway.

[Courtney Miller]

No, no, no. I mean, this is a question that I had purely for you guys, because you guys have been able to change the voice of the brand by being able to be involved in that, and I think that's really, really cool. The sketches that come out now have been highly elevated, in my opinion. And I Think it has to do with the fact that there's more views. Not views, like, more perspectives. View counts, but, like, perspectives.

[Olivia Suar]

Yes.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. Cause I mean, we didn't really have a whole lot of control sometimes over how we, as women, were in certain content. Like, I know if I was getting dressed for a scene, they wanted to make sure I was wearing something where then they would. I remember the wardrobes would be like, okay, now push them up. And, like, I'd have to.

[Olivia Suar]

Oh, I remember myself.

[Mari Takahashi]

Of cleavage. And, like, sometimes I had to be like, no, I can't. Like, that's too much. And just kind of being an accessory from going to being an accessory in scenes. Because, like, Smosh was two dudes making videos. And they usually played most of the roles until we started, or they'd have a cast casting of Sacramento actors. But, like, now that we actually can be, like, the focus of scenes and the focus of, like, the concept of a video and how to not piss off women, how to not piss off Asians, like, those things focused around us, like, it's pretty cool. Because I'm Asian.

[Olivia Suar]

You are. You're so Asian.

[Courtney Miller]

I love your. I love. I love you in that video.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, my God. That was a really hard video to.

[Olivia Suar]

Actually, I just watched Always Be My maybe last night, Yesterday, and I literally cried so hard. And it was an element because I love the story. It's so different because it's not like, the cool, wealthy dude and the girl who's struggling. It's like, this woman is the really famous, successful one, and the guy is the one that's kind of in a slump, and he has to go and chase her. And she's the one that's deciding, do I want to be with. You know, it's like a different dynamic. And, like, she's so powerful, and, like, it's great. And I started crying. This is so weird. But there's a scene in there when they're having sex. And, like, I was so emotional watching that. Well, the whole time I was. Because you never see two Asian, like, an Asian couple doing something so intimate on screen. It's either fetishized or it's like, you don't see it. But in this scene, it's two people loving each other, like, having sex. And it's like, I don't think I've ever seen that ever. Cause you usually see not Asian people doing that. And it's something so intimate. And sometimes in our culture, that's, like, a taboo. But for them to highlight that in this movie for kind of A long time, too. It was so awesome to see. And then towards the end of the movie, I was just crying so much because two Asian people wrote this about not them being Asian. The dad wasn't the stereotypical Asian dad. Like, they were just normal people. And, like, for them to write that story and just made. I think it just made everyone feel very included, you know, in this. I loved it. It was so good.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah. I loved the choices they made.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Olivia Suar]

And it just. They weren't. They weren't like, hey, we're Asian. It wasn't like that at all. It's just like, this is our life. This is our experience. We drink soups. Like, we have this red soup. It's just not. It's not like, oh, we're gonna. We're gonna just profit off the fact that we're Asian. It's just like, it was. It's.

[Courtney Miller]

I think it's real stories are being told now, and it's coming to a point where Hollywood understands that it doesn't have to be this, like, the way that you see, like, what. Like, Chinese New Year is in a Kmart, you know, like, it's like, it has to look like a certain way for people to understand what. What an Asian thing is. Like, I think we're getting to a point where audiences are smart enough and they're talking about it enough that Hollywood is responding with, like, oh, people just want real stories that. That they go through, not just like a prepackaged. What. You know, like the overall sort of, like, what an Asian person has to be or what a. You know, like what a gay person's life has to be or, you know, like just a minority figure. And in general, like, it's. It's gotten to a point where it's like, let's take away the element that makes it different and bring together all the things that make us human and come together.

[Olivia Suar]

And I think this movie, Last Little Thing, they did it really well where, you know, at the end, she has her parents come and she takes her on the red. She takes them on the red carpet. Even though they've abandoned her her whole life, she still does. And it has something to do with, like, I think, as Asian culture. Like, even if your parents, like, are not there with you fully, you have to have given this respect with that. It's a part of this culture. And, like, bringing that in. But then her naming the restaurant after this mother figure that she had, that was her really close connection with this person. I just think that, like, everyone can relate to this. Movie, but at the same time, there were like, little things like kimchi jigae. It's something that like, Koreans love to eat. And it's just like these little, like, really cute details in it that's like, oh, this is so, like, Asian and awesome. But at the same time, this is just a story about a couple.

[Mari Takahashi]

Yeah, but it's so. I agree. Like, it's so cool. They just have it there. It's not in your face, but it's very clearly there. And, like, in enjoyable, obviously. And like, I think when we make our videos and Smosh, it's like since we have the voice, it's no longer doing how we think it is palatable for a viewer. It's trying to show genuinely how a woman it would be in this situation. Like, we definitely. It's. It's come far with that too. And I think it both Smosh and that movie have in common or what we're trying to do what they so love. Like, they did a great job, but, like, it's just setting a standard of, like, this is what it should be and this is what it is. This is what it really is. And, like, we're not gonna make it appear to be something that it's not other than when our videos get hella crazy and weird, which is also just.

[Courtney Miller]

A reflection of you guys in general. Anyway, smosh me crazy sometimes.

[Mari Takahashi]

But wow. Wow, this. This has been a great talk.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm glad we made time for our talk talking.

[Mari Takahashi]

This is why I be getting nervous about hosting guys so bad. I don't know how to end these things.

[Courtney Miller]

You want a bottle? This one's almost empty.

[Olivia Suar]

I've actually.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, I still have coffee. Oh, speaking of which. Yeah, this. This is our smosh water balls. Be sure to check out our smosh dot store. Thank you guys so much for coming and hanging out with me and casting this pod with me.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Mari Takahashi]

I love you guys.

[Olivia Suar]

I love you guys.

[Courtney Miller]

I love you guys.

[Mari Takahashi]

Oh, my gosh.

[Olivia Suar]

Sad.

[Mari Takahashi]

High fiving. Yeah. And thank you guys so much for watching and listening. The full audio episodes come out on Wednesdays and the full video episodes come out on Fridays. Fridays you get to see our faces, but Wednesdays you get to hear us say some naughty words. I said a lot of them this week, but yeah, so love you guys. Don't miss us. Don't miss you.

[Olivia Suar]

Don't want to miss us.

[Mari Takahashi]

Don't want to miss us. All right, love you. Bye. Bye.

[Courtney Miller]

Bye.

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