S1: #19 - How To Make The First Move & Not Be A Creep (Smosh Advice)

Summary

Podcast Summary: Smosh Mouth - Episode S1: #19 - How To Make The First Move & Not Be A Creep (Smosh Advice)
Release Date: June 26, 2019

In this engaging and humor-infused episode of Smosh Mouth, hosts Shayne Topp, Amanda Lehan-Canto, and rotating Smosh friends delve into listener questions centered around making the first move in romantic pursuits, staying motivated academically, and overcoming personal insecurities. Balancing comedic banter with genuine advice, the trio offers insights that resonate with a college-aged audience navigating relationships and personal growth.

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1. Introduction to Smosh Advice

The episode opens with the hosts introducing their segment, humorously referencing their less-than-traditional qualifications for dispensing advice. Shayne quips, “I will say I've used Shane before. I had my real therapist. I used Shane as my free one" (06:04), setting a lighthearted tone for the episode. They emphasize that while they aren't professionals, their personal experiences and camaraderie aim to provide relatable guidance to listeners.

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2. Navigating the First Move: Listener Question from Ixxinative

Question:
“I have a crush on this guy in my class in college. We've been friends for a few months now, and next week is our last week before we leave for summer break. Should I tell him I like him then or just wait a little longer?”
— Ixxinative (06:30)

Discussion Highlights:

• Timing is Key: Shayne advises, “there's no better time than now” to express feelings, especially in the transient setting of college where opportunities may be fleeting (07:42).

• Embracing Awkwardness: The hosts collectively stress that making the first move can be inherently awkward but manageable. Shane states, “there's no right move” and emphasizes that awkwardness is a natural part of dating (09:07).

• Handling Rejection: They reassure that rejection, while painful, is a common experience. Shane shares his perspective, “regardless, there's never gonna seem like a convenient time... you’re going to feel great that you went for it” (12:48).

• Avoiding Procrastination: Amanda (Courtney) reinforces the idea of seizing the moment, stating, “a better now than never” and discouraging overthinking about the perfect timing (08:48).

Notable Quote:
Shayne Topp encapsulates the essence of taking initiative: “There's no better time than now. Especially in a situation like college. If the person rejects you, it's fine. It will be a funny story later on” (07:42).

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3. Staying Motivated: Listener Question from Cas

Question:
“How do you guys stay motivated? I struggled this past semester because I couldn't focus on the work and was just wondering how I could fix that and motivate myself to do it.”
— Cas at Take Five (16:29)

Discussion Highlights:

• Reward System: Courtney discusses the importance of recognizing rewards in completing tasks versus procrastinating. She explains how immediate rewards for putting things off can undermine motivation (17:58).

• Discipline and Habit Formation: Shayne shares his approach to building habits, such as committing to a 30-day chart to track progress, which helps in reinforcing discipline (21:24).

• Goal Setting: Ian emphasizes focusing on one task at a time and prioritizing the hard tasks first. He relates personal experiences from transitioning from high school to college, where increased interest in subjects boosted his motivation (18:05).

• Overcoming Procrastination: The hosts suggest breaking down overwhelming tasks into manageable steps. Courtney mentions, “half the battle is just getting situated and just getting ready to do it” (20:35).

Notable Quote:
Courtney Miller offers practical advice on task management: “If I have dishes building up in my kitchen... I could wait and be on my phone right now... Or I can get this done now and then not only be able to chill on my phone after, but also have no dishes to worry about” (17:58).

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4. Dealing with Rejection and Maintaining Friendships

Questions:

1. “How can I say in a good way that I'm not interested in a person who likes me, afraid of hurting his feelings, but I just want to be friends, and I don't want to lose a friendship with him?”
   — JoannaChips (27:31)

2. “I need help on rejecting people in breakups. I have a hard time saying no to going on dates, even when I don't like the guy. And when we split, I'm heartbroken, even though I never even liked him in the first place.”
   — Kudermiller (27:31)

Discussion Highlights:

• Honest Communication: The hosts advocate for clear and honest communication when rejecting someone. Shane advises, “you just have to be definite. You have to, you have to... you're telling them the truth” (29:18).

• Setting Boundaries: They emphasize the importance of setting boundaries to prevent further emotional turmoil. Courtney suggests, “You just gotta eat it [reject], tough but necessary” (37:58).

• Managing Reactions: The hosts acknowledge that despite delivering the message kindly, the other person may still react negatively, stressing that the responder cannot control those reactions (28:00).

• Preserving Friendship: If the individual accepts the rejection maturely, maintaining the friendship is possible. However, if the person cannot handle it, Shane questions the value of preserving such a friendship (31:43).

Notable Quote:
Shayne reinforces the necessity of honesty: “You're also just telling them the truth. It's the truth. So you're not doing anything mean to someone... you're telling them what the reality of the situation is” (37:58).

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5. Humorous Interlude: The Body Hiding Scenario

A playful and unexpected shift in the episode occurs when the hosts tackle a fictional and humorous question about how to hide a body. This segment showcases their comedic chemistry as they devise increasingly absurd methods, blending dark humor with their signature silliness.

Notable Exchange:
Shayne imagines a scenario involving historical figures:
Shayne: “Maybe I'd make the statue just a giant ween. Just a giant. You know, penis and testicles have Hitler on the inside of that.” (51:31)
Ian: “That is horror.” (51:56)

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6. Embracing and Overcoming Insecurities

Question:
“How can I start to learn to accept love things about myself that I'm insecure about?”
— Aleenelattis (57:33)

Discussion Highlights:

• Self-Acceptance: The hosts encourage embracing imperfections as what makes individuals unique and interesting. Shayne emphasizes, “Each and every one of us has so many different types of features... those that make you imperfect are often the things that make them human and endearing” (59:10).

• Confidence Building: Courtney shares personal experiences of overcoming insecurities, highlighting the importance of self-love and understanding that others may admire what you perceive as flaws (60:42).

• Perspective Shift: They discuss shifting focus from perceived flaws to strengths, fostering a positive self-image. Shayne references Tyrion from Game of Thrones, advocating for using personal flaws as armor (63:55).

Notable Quote:
Ian underscores the power of confidence: “There really is, like, nothing more sexy than confidence” (62:15).

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7. Making Money Without a Traditional Job: Listener Question from Cole Hirsch

Question:
“How to make money without job. #sponshadvice”
— Cole Hirsch (73:06)

Discussion Highlights:

• Creative Solutions: The hosts offer tongue-in-cheek suggestions, such as selling elaborate selfies and even delving into humorous, fictional methods like hiding a body in a Ween statue (74:28).

• Reality Check: Despite the humor, the underlying message nudges listeners to consider legitimate avenues for income, albeit delivered in their characteristic comedic style.

Notable Exchange:
Shayne humorously suggests, “make sure of the coming Tinder for Hot Dogs apocalypse” (73:21).

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8. Conclusion and Merchandise Promotion

As the episode wraps up, the hosts transition back to promoting their merchandise with jovial enthusiasm. They highlight items like the "Tinder for Hot Dogs" T-shirt and the rainbow hoodie, maintaining the episode’s playful and light-hearted tone.

Notable Quote:
Shane enthusiastically declares, “We rescued the yellow hoodie from the Defy era. We like, hit up the company that had some in stock and they were like, where's... Give us those sweaters” (04:52).

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Key Takeaways

• Take Initiative: When interested in someone, taking the first step is encouraged over waiting indefinitely.

• Stay Motivated Through Structure: Implementing reward systems, discipline, and manageable task breakdowns can enhance motivation and reduce procrastination.

• Handle Rejection with Honesty and Respect: Clear communication is vital in managing interpersonal relationships and maintaining self-respect.

• Embrace Imperfections: Accepting and loving personal flaws contribute to authentic confidence and meaningful connections.

• Humor as a Coping Mechanism: Utilizing humor can make discussing sensitive topics more approachable and relatable.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Shayne Topp (07:42): “There's no better time than now. Especially in a situation like college. If the person rejects you, it's fine. It will be a funny story later on.”

• Courtney Miller (17:58): “If I have dishes building up in my kitchen... I could wait and be on my phone right now... Or I can get this done now and then not only be able to chill on my phone after, but also have no dishes to worry about.”

• Shayne Topp (37:58): “You're also just telling them the truth. It's the truth. So you're not doing anything mean to someone... you're telling them what the reality of the situation is.”

• Ian Hecox (62:15): “There really is, like, nothing more sexy than confidence.”

• Shayne Topp (63:55): “And it's like, that girl from Black Panther is what's.”

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Conclusion

Episode #19 of Smosh Mouth effortlessly blends humor with heartfelt advice, addressing common dilemmas faced by young adults. Whether it's making the first romantic move, staying motivated in academia, or embracing personal insecurities, the hosts provide a mix of practical tips and comedic relief. This episode not only entertains but also offers listeners relatable insights, making it a valuable listen for those navigating the complexities of college life and personal relationships.

Transcript

[Shane Topp]

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[Ian Hecox]

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[Shane Topp]

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[Ian Hecox]

Ramble. I just straight up, like, said, like, I don't know what the right move is here. Can I kiss you?

[Shane Topp]

If I just had a dead body in my apartment, like, what would you do? I'd be like, I don't know what to do with this. I really would just freak out.

[Courtney Miller]

You gotta be a little more selfish. Like, you have a life too. You have feelings too, and, like, it's not your job to make sure that that person's okay. It's nice of you to try.

[Shane Topp]

Live in a giant walnut. Carve a little house inside the giant waln. A little pickaxe. Go out searching for ores.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, I think I've. I think I've read this book. James and the Giant Walnut.

[Shane Topp]

That's correct.

[Ian Hecox]

Okay, I might need to side saddle this then.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, doom Declare.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh. Welcome to another episode of the Smosh Cast. Today's a special episode. I would say it is. We're calling this Smosh Advice. Our writer, Ryan, wanted to call it Smosh Vice, but then we were like, vice news. What?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, I was very confused.

[Ian Hecox]

So today I am joined by. Hello, I'm Ian Hecox. I'm joined by my fellow advice masters, Courtney Miller and Shane Topp.

[Shane Topp]

Hello.

[Ian Hecox]

Hello. We both went to college for advice online through Twitter Questions. And now we're ready to throw our totally qualified advice all over your ears.

[Shane Topp]

That is correct.

[Courtney Miller]

So we not only are, but look extremely professional today.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, yeah, speaking of looking professional, Courtney's going to a premiere tonight, and you gotta hit the red carpet.

[Courtney Miller]

Mm.

[Ian Hecox]

Your hair looks great. However, to save the volume, what are you doing right now?

[Courtney Miller]

I just wish there was podcast headphones that were, like, very, like, they were nice to your hair.

[Shane Topp]

Like, just AirPods.

[Courtney Miller]

Pretty much. Noise canceling AirPods would be great. So I just. I'm doing this to keep that volume and so that it doesn't squish on the sides.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, she looks like a who from Whoville. Her hair is completely horizontal, all pushed to the front.

[Ian Hecox]

You look like you're doing a cauliflower cosplay.

[Shane Topp]

That's fair.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm strawberry shortcake.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Or just like the lady from the Hunger Games.

[Ian Hecox]

It's like, yeah. Yes.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

You're definitely a District one type, bitch.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, yeah. Always have been, baby. District one bitch.

[Shane Topp]

You're looking very District one today.

[Ian Hecox]

My mood is always District eight.

[Shane Topp]

I feel that I don't.

[Ian Hecox]

I never read the books.

[Shane Topp]

Mine's very district 12. It was a good movie.

[Ian Hecox]

Which one was the one? Oh, district.

[Shane Topp]

Very good movie.

[Ian Hecox]

We could do district 13. Wasn't that the end or was that district 13?

[Courtney Miller]

That's the very end one.

[Ian Hecox]

No, no, no. I'm thinking the.

[Shane Topp]

The alien one.

[Ian Hecox]

I was think French parkour.

[Courtney Miller]

District nine. Oh, I thought you about the alien movie.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, there's so many district.

[Ian Hecox]

Too many districts.

[Courtney Miller]

Too many districts.

[Shane Topp]

Simply too many districts.

[Ian Hecox]

Too many districts. In this hoe. In this ho ho. All right. Hey, guys, before I get too deep in it, we have some new merch. Courtney's rocking the rainbow hoodie right now looking. Looking fine. And Shane, what are you. What are you rocking right here?

[Shane Topp]

I'm rocking the Tinder for Hot Dogs T shirt, which you can get right now. And if you wear it, you will be prepared for the coming Tinder for Hot Dogs apocalypse, which will be a great affair. It'll be a joyous apocalypse. It's an Armageddon of happiness. And if you wear the shirts, you will be prepared for it.

[Ian Hecox]

Shane, that's enough.

[Courtney Miller]

That was a lot.

[Shane Topp]

If you wear the shirt, you'll be God.

[Ian Hecox]

Do you have anything to say about the rainbow hoodie?

[Courtney Miller]

I love it.

[Shane Topp]

It's actually great.

[Ian Hecox]

See, Shane, why couldn't you just summarize Tender for Hot Dogs in that. In that amount?

[Courtney Miller]

I just love that it's embroidered. Like, I love the embroidered stitching.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Really nice embroidery.

[Ian Hecox]

It's very heavy duty.

[Shane Topp]

We. Our merch is honestly the best.

[Courtney Miller]

If there was a point, our merch would be on it.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, on point. Oh, snail.

[Shane Topp]

And it's very comfy. It's very comfortable merch.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. This ain't no. This ain't no band shirt from. From the early 2000s. This is. This is some good quality stuff.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. And we got the yellow hoodie back, which, yeah, I love.

[Ian Hecox]

We rescued the yellow hoodie from. From the Defy era. We like, hit up the company that some in stock and they were like, where's. Why? Where have you gone? And we're like, give us those sweaters. Because we like. I actually never got one. I don't know how, but I never got one of those hoodies and I still don't have one, so I need to get my hands on one.

[Shane Topp]

I've had one for so long.

[Ian Hecox]

We went to Twitter and asked you guys, you looking for any advice from these three idiots? And let's just jump right into it. Shane, since you are the closest to a therapist therapist that we have here, being that you almost have a psychology degree.

[Shane Topp]

Yes. I am beginning my final psychology class in the next couple weeks. Forensic psychology.

[Ian Hecox]

Good job. Oh. So it's like.

[Shane Topp]

I think it's gonna be less like crime and more like legal speaking. So, like in court proceedings and whatever, presenting psychological evidence. I don't know. I haven't begun the class, but that's really cool. I think it's more. I don't think it's gonna be as exciting as it sounds, so. And generally they're not.

[Ian Hecox]

Well, I'm still very proud of you.

[Shane Topp]

Thank you. Thank you, guys.

[Courtney Miller]

I will say I've used Shane before. I had my real therapist. I used Shane as my free one.

[Shane Topp]

I can't emphasize enough that I am not qualified as an.

[Courtney Miller]

None of us are.

[Shane Topp]

Right. But hopefully we can relate to your questions and our personal experiences and mess ups will help you.

[Ian Hecox]

That's the hope.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. All right, so welcome to smosh advice.

[Ian Hecox]

Doo doo doo doo doo.

[Shane Topp]

It.

[Ian Hecox]

Smosh advice. It's smosh advice.

[Shane Topp]

I'm sure you're driving home at 10pm on a Tuesday. It's raining. We're here to help you out. All right, we have our first question here. It's from Ixxinative. He asks, hey, guys. So I have a crush on this guy in my class in college. We've been friends for a few months now, and next week is our last week before we leave for summer break. Should I tell him I like him then or just wait a little longer.

[Ian Hecox]

And they're in college.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, this is in college. So.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. Do you wait a little longer? Like, what if you guys go home for the summer and you won't see him?

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. Do they live in the same.

[Courtney Miller]

There's a lot of fine print that we do.

[Shane Topp]

I think it's very possible that he's away at college.

[Ian Hecox]

Let's assume they both live in the same area because he said, should I wait till we're out for the summer?

[Shane Topp]

My opinion, he said, should I tell him I like him or just wait a little longer? I mean, I think maybe it's not even regarding circumstances. He's just going, ah, should I wait? And my opinion Is there's no better time than now.

[Ian Hecox]

Yep. If you got a crush on the person you think, and you think that you might have a chance or that person at least seems interested in you or is at least nice to you, then what's. What's the point in waiting?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. Especially, I think, in a situation like college. I think it's fine, you know, to take those risks. If you're in college, I'm assuming you're young. If you're, you know, you might as well go for it. You know, if the person rejects you, it's fine. It will be a funny story later on. It's college.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

And even after college, even later, I mean, there's really no reason. There are definitely situations where it's inappropriate and you go, okay, this isn't the place. Whatever.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm just proud that he knows he's gonna do it at some point.

[Shane Topp]

He does seem to know he's gonna do it.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. I guess there's a better now than never. I tend to overthink and be like, oh, maybe there's a better time. Maybe there's a better time. So I would only be like, oh, I don' no, wait for the perfect moment. But there's no perfect. You don't. You gotta make the moment perfect or whatever.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. Well. And most likely it's not gonna be perfect.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. It's easy.

[Shane Topp]

You're gonna think. I think it's something that movies and TV have done to us of thinking, oh, I gotta approach this in a very romantic way or I gotta do this in the right way or else it's gonna all fail. Dating from start to finish is.

[Ian Hecox]

There's no way.

[Shane Topp]

Generally awkward. And that's okay.

[Ian Hecox]

There's no right move.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

And that's why. That's why, you know, man created alcohol.

[Courtney Miller]

I love college.

[Ian Hecox]

I'm not saying. I'm not saying you need alcohol to, you know, make, you know, like. To, like, loosen up, to, like, take the edge off. Because I think that's also a bad idea. And you should absolutely make any sort of dating decision with a sober mindset.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, I actually. I actually. As much as I know that if I have a drink, I will be more likely to take those risks. It is far better. And you will feel better if you do it when you're sober.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

And also if you're under 21.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, of course. But three years into college, so that's for sure. Probably 21, I think. Yeah. A few times. A few times that I have, like, sort of made the first move. I had, had maybe, maybe a drink, like was obviously not drunk because then that's, that's wrong. But I think it's also just like an, it's an excuse to be like, oh, ha ha ha.

[Shane Topp]

Like less inhibition, there's less risk involved, there's.

[Ian Hecox]

There's less pressure on yourself to like be afraid of rejection. So I think it's really just like kind of going in with that mindset of like, you want this obviously. So why, why are you not just throwing yourself out there?

[Shane Topp]

When was the last time when you were sober that you dropped a hint or told someone you were into them?

[Ian Hecox]

Umm.

[Courtney Miller]

Buddy.

[Ian Hecox]

The first hint, just anything.

[Shane Topp]

I mean, you know, it doesn't have to be, hey, I like you. It could just be like you said something or you.

[Ian Hecox]

I mean, the thing is, the thing is, you know, as an adult, when you're in a social situation, it's like you know, the weekend and it's a social situation. You're hanging out with people. Like, I never drink to get drunk. I think like there's people that drink to like lose themselves.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, there's, yeah, there's, there's a, there's problems. Like, you know, like that.

[Ian Hecox]

And then, And I think, I think for me it's. It's just a, it's a social thing. Of course, I guess that's probably what all alcoholics say. But I'm not, I'm not.

[Shane Topp]

I'm really. The question isn't even regarding drinking. It's more, you sober, what's holding you back?

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, I mean, I'm just. I guess I'm probably a nerd. I never know what the right move is to make. And the last time that I, the last time that I sort of like decided like, okay, I'm going to kiss this girl, I. I just straight up like said like, I don't know what, what the right move is here. Can I kiss you? Like, I think I just, I just straight up asked.

[Shane Topp]

I think that's totally fine.

[Ian Hecox]

And I think, and I mean like. Cause I think at this, at this point it is a little weird to do the movie thing of just like making the move.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

But I mean the response I got was, was like yes. So I mean, clearly like that person was thinking it as well. And it was just both people were thinking like, I want to make out with this person. And neither person was saying it. So who knows, dude, Maybe that guy is thinking, I want to, I want to, you know, make a move on YouTube. So you don't know, maybe he wants to Mac, you know, maybe he wants to know. You don't know, so come on, man, you want to. Mac, what are you waiting for?

[Shane Topp]

I think regardless, there's never gonna seem like a convenient time. There's never gonna be a time where you're gonna feel comfortable doing it. Accept the fact that it'll probably be awkward no matter what and that you're gonna be nervous no matter what and just go for it. I mean, also, it's just, you know.

[Ian Hecox]

Maybe, maybe just a little make out sesh, little makeup session, never hurt anybody.

[Shane Topp]

Regardless, if he rejects you or not, you're going to feel great that you went for it.

[Ian Hecox]

Also, if he's a bad kisser, then, you know, like right there, just, just kick him to the curb. And then you can, you know, maybe get that done before, before the end of this college semester so you can make that decision, like. Cause you don't want to be with somebody that's a bad kisser. Come on, that's just a lifetime of pain. So I'd say just get it, get it out of the way. And then you'll, you'll go to summer either knowing like, hey, this is a really good prospect, or, man, I'm glad I didn't. I'm glad I didn't stress about this guy for, you know, four months and think and build. Because what you're doing right now is you're building up this idea of somebody, this, like, possibility. This could be a dead end right from the start. So why are you wasting your time on somebody that could be a complete dead end?

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I think it's cool before you break for summer to express your feelings, because, yeah, you either have the whole summer to recover or the whole summer to enjoy that person.

[Shane Topp]

But to argue that, you also could say that if you express that and they were interested and if you don't live in the same area and you go away, you go, oh, we're interested in each other. Great. Now I'll see you three months later. Now you, you're starting a possible long distance. You can't really commit to that. I had that happen once when I was a teenager where a week before I was heading back home, I was kind of like, hey, I'm really into you. And it just, it kind of blossomed. For a week we had this relationship, and then in the months that we were gone from each other, it just kind of fizzles because it's impossible to keep that going.

[Ian Hecox]

And then you're closing yourself off from.

[Shane Topp]

And then possible people, and then it just Fizzles out and then. Whereas opposed to looking back, maybe if I had waited until we were hanging out again once I was back and then we started it, then we had more time.

[Courtney Miller]

There's just the fear of, like, oh, we were gone for three months. Now maybe they've met someone else and now they're not even an option anymore.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. How pissed are you gonna be if you have a crush on somebody and you're just waiting around not doing anything? Then that person finds somebody else. Like they're not dedicated to you. Chase it. Get after it. Get it, boy. Get it, get it. Move. Get your Mac on.

[Shane Topp]

Present it in a low pressure way. Like, you know, you can just be like, hey, man, like, yeah, just go.

[Ian Hecox]

Hang out with the frickin guy.

[Shane Topp]

Would you want to hang out sometime in a possible date setting?

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. I mean, or just like, if you haven't hung out with the person, just go hang out with them. There's like, you don't even have to kiss them. You don't have to.

[Shane Topp]

Well, it sounds like they're friends, so they're probably hanging out. But just tell them, like, hey, you know, I'm feeling like there could be more to this. If not, it's cool. I love being your friend. But hey, I'm feeling something. Are you feeling anything? No. Cool.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Yes.

[Ian Hecox]

Ooh, then you move on. Yes, then ooh, and then, you know. No, then new guy to pursue.

[Shane Topp]

Bam.

[Courtney Miller]

Ooh.

[Ian Hecox]

Or new. That's the lesson of our show, Ryan Seacrest here.

[Ryan Higa]

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[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, I think so.

[Shane Topp]

Great. All right, so at take five, Cas asks, how do you stay motivated? I struggled this past semester because I couldn't focus on the work and was just wondering how I could fix that and motivate myself to do it. How do you guys stay motivated?

[Courtney Miller]

Something I learned on actually listening to another podcast they were talking about, and I think it's so true, which is why I'll bring it up. Like, there is A reward in completing something. Right. And it's like one guy was like, ugh. I see the reward in just, like, not having to do it at all. It's like, okay, then you fail a class if you have this thing that you need to do, just getting it done right away. Like, you get that reward of being done right away and, like, just putting it off. Just. I don't know. I feel like then there isn't even a reward at all when you just procrastinate. Because then when you freak out and get that stuff done, then it's like, okay, there wasn't even a relief of getting it done. Cause there's the stress of getting it in on time and stuff like that. And so say I have dishes building up in my kitchen, and I'm like, I could wait and wait and wait. And I can be on my phone right now as a reward for me just being on my phone. Or I can get this done now and then not only be able to chill on my phone after, but also have no dishes to worry about.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. There's no anxiety then.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

Did they say if they're in college or high school?

[Shane Topp]

They said it's college.

[Ian Hecox]

Okay. Yeah. I mean, for me, I was more. I was more motivated to get my classwork done in college than I was high school because I was taking classes that I was actually excited about. I wasn't motivated in high school or. Yeah. When. When that started, like, when I feel like, I feel like elementary school, everything was so easy that, that it was just like, oh, yeah, just do that. That. And like, middle school is, like, pretty easy. And then like, high school is when they started actually throwing, like, real work at you.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. High school is when stuff matters.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. And. And it was. And it was stuff that I didn't care about. Like, I. I just. I didn't care. I didn't like the curriculum. I thought it sucked. And then when I. When I got to college or community college. Sorry. I was like, whoa, I actually like learning this stuff. But I think. I think what you said, like, sort of like choosing a task, like, at a time is. Is good. Like, rather than looking at the. The whole picture.

[Shane Topp]

Right.

[Ian Hecox]

Just focusing on one thing at a time. Like, okay, I'm just going to get this done. And also, it is, like a thing of doing the hard thing first. Because if you do the easy thing first, then it's. Then it's such a slog trying to do the hard stuff after you've done the easy stuff or like, the stuff that you like I mean, I'm. I'm having trouble getting motivated to, like, just get stuff done in my life. And my friend was like, okay, no, just. Just, you know, making appointments, like, going through my mail, all this, like, dumb stuff that, you know, as an adult, I should be taking care of, but I just wasn't because I just look at the big picture of, like, oh, I just have so many things. I'm so overwhelmed, and it's ridiculous. But my friend was like, well, no, just. Just this morning, make an appointment for this one thing and get that taken care of. And then after that thing, then focus on the next thing. I was like, yeah. And so I did it.

[Courtney Miller]

Half the battle is just getting situated and just getting ready to do it. Like, I almost have a harder time getting my ass to the gym than the actual workout.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, 100%.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, literally, that's the hardest part is getting to it. And then, like, once you start it, and then when you're done, you're gonna be so happy you did, like, just the. Just sitting down. You know, they have those lo fi beats to study too, and stuff like that. Those make me feel super productive. And those, like, get you moving. And like, there. There's like, exterior things that can help you just sit down and focus as well.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

I mean, the big thing is just discipline. And that's something. That's something that I, like, struggle with. And when I. Whenever I wake up early to run, the hardest part is just getting my feet out of bed onto the ground. And sometimes I just have to tell myself, discipline. Like, I'm like, discipline, discipline. Because if I don't. If I'm not disciplined with that, then I'm just gonna, you know, complain, like, later on. Like, oh, I feel like I feel just sluggish and I feel fat. Cause I didn't run. And then, you know, that just kind of snowballs. And then I go a week without running. And then also when you fall out of, like, habits, it's a lot harder to get back.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, of course.

[Courtney Miller]

I feel like you're Shane, you're very, well, like, self disciplined.

[Shane Topp]

It comes and goes. And it's different things. I think, like, with working out, it's become such an addiction. Even where, like, if I don't. If I go more than two days, I'm like, oh, I feel like I am compelled to go in that sense. But with a lot of things, I can get really bad. For instance, you were talking about opening mail and stuff. I have, like, a fear of paperwork and bills and things like that. So I avoid it because I'm just afraid of dealing with it. But you can't avoid that. You're gonna have to face it eventually. So it's kind of getting over that fear and just being like, all right, I'm gonna do this. Gonna do it right now. And I think for me, I've gotten better at some things. Like, there were some small habits I wanted to form that I've been trying for years. Like, stretching every day just for, like, 10 minutes, or, like, I wanted to get into duolingo and just, like, practice to get some conversational Spanish down. But I always go, like, five days, and I drop off of it. So I've tried more this year of, like, making written lists and having a chart of, like, okay, 30 days. If you can commit to 30 days, I think that's around the time that a habit will form in your brain. If you can commit to that amount of time checking it off, checking it off every day, and then making a list for that day maybe of, like, what are the things I have to do? Okay, I can now see it in front of me. It's out of my head. It's now on paper, and I can physically check those things off and then feel that relief of once they're done. You know, you're done with that stuff. You're now free.

[Ian Hecox]

It is that thing of just having to. Having to believe that things will be better if you take care of it. It's the same thing with, like, you know, if you sort of make a pact to eat better, it's like, look. Yeah, it's hard because I love chocolate, and I love just. Just crazy foods that just so happen to not be great for me. But I know that, like, at the end of the day, if I do stay more disciplined on what I'm eating, I will feel and look better in the end. And it's the same thing with, like, if I don't. And if I don't look at my mail, which I haven't in a few weeks, I probably have a bill in there that will start, you know, gathering interest. So if I wait, I'm gonna have to pay more money for something that I really didn't have to in the first place. So it's.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, it's like understanding the. Like, reminding yourself the importance of why you have to do that thing.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

It's huge.

[Ian Hecox]

It's like, oh, I need to run, because otherwise I will die.

[Shane Topp]

Well, for schoolwork, I mean, I've. I've been taking classes off and on for 10 years now. And I definitely face burnout a lot from it. I'm just like, ah, this is going on forever. But I always remember with anything you're studying or whatever that all information is useful in some way or another. So any class, even if it's an elective that you don't like or whatever, there is some use to that of you're learning something about this world that you live in. And that's cool. And there's so many different facets.

[Courtney Miller]

I was so bad in school, like homework. That's why I love this job so much. Cause for the most part I can leave my work at work and go home. And like, other than like reading lines and stuff like that, like, I feel like that's nice. Cause school, I hated that I had to go home and still be at school. And like, it's rough. God, I hated it so much. And that was like my downfall was just not doing the homework.

[Shane Topp]

And what I don't like about our school system is it's so test heavy. It's so about, are you good enough? Are you gonna know all this to pass this test as opposed to, hey, we're trying to make you a more knowledgeable, well rounded person. It's not focused on that. It's very focused on pass this test. And then after that you don't need that information. Don't focus on. I say don't focus on that. Focus on learning the things that you're interested about within those classes.

[Ian Hecox]

Also motivation. Why don't you yawn right when I talk? That was dumb. Also, like struggling with motivation. I mean, I'm certainly not a therapist or was psychiatrist, psychologists, psychologists, they're different. I'm, you know, I certainly wouldn't, wouldn't just, you know, say visit a doctor and find out if you have attention problems. But there's people that I know that had severe attention problems and they were medicated for it and they were much better. They were much better from it. So I'm not saying everyone should be on medication. Cause obviously that has adverse effects. And it's basically amphetamines, but it definitely helps some people.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, man.

[Courtney Miller]

Ian's first answer was alcohol. Ian's second answer, drugs.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, I'm just, you know, I'm just trying to get everybody lit.

[Courtney Miller]

Let's get liddy with Ian today on the smoshcast.

[Ian Hecox]

But it is gross. Like how many meds school students are on Adderall.

[Shane Topp]

I've heard med school is on another level of difficulty, but they've said like.

[Ian Hecox]

Basically they don't know how you could do it possibly without some kind of medical intervention. So shout outs to all my med students out there. Not taking drugs for your studies. Keep it up, man. Fight the good fight.

[Shane Topp]

So the next One comes from JoannaChips. And actually, we've got a lot of questions that are like this, so we have another one from utemiller or cutermiller. They both are kind of the same, but the first one goes, how can I say in a good way that I'm not interested in a person who likes me, afraid of hurting his feelings, but I just want to be friends, and I don't want to lose a friendship with him? And Kudermiller asked. I need help on rejecting people in breakups have a hard time saying no to going on dates, even when I don't like the guy. And when we split, I'm heartbroken, even though I never even liked him in the first place.

[Ian Hecox]

Look, like at some point you're going to have to tell them no. And the longer you wait, the more it's going to hurt if you're. You know, if you're dragging. I'm not saying you're dragging them along. Like, look, this is not your fault that this person has feelings for you. Mm.

[Courtney Miller]

And even if they react poorly, no matter how nicely or how perfectly you say something, that person may still react, however, in any way that you can't control.

[Ian Hecox]

Like, well.

[Shane Topp]

And for Joanna's question, you want to be friends with him. Ultimately, his feelings are. He's gonna be. His feelings are gonna be hurt just because he likes someone and they don't reciprocate those feelings. You can't help that. You can't control how he feels or determine how he's gonna feel, no matter how you present it, how he chooses to deal with those feelings. So if he decides to be a jerk and be a nice guy and flip on you, then, honestly, I don't think he's worthy of being your friend.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. I would say saying something like, I've just really enjoyed our friendship that we've had. I wouldn't want to change it in any way. Like, that kind of wording of just like, yeah, I really just enjoyed our friendship, and I don't think I see us moving to that point.

[Shane Topp]

I guess I can see how it's tough if he's not being direct enough for you to reject him. If he's just dropping hints, I can see how that could be difficult.

[Courtney Miller]

An easy escape route that I've taken and I, like people tend to take when they're rejecting someone like that is saying like, I'm not ready for that, or like, I don't see that right now. And it's like. But that can be stringing a person along. You don't want to be like, I'm not ready. And using any type of like time constrained rejection is just gonna seal you for like another later death.

[Shane Topp]

Just a partial lie.

[Ian Hecox]

You really have to be definite. You have to, you have to. You can't say like, oh, I'm just not feeling it right now. Or like, I think you really have to be. And obviously, like, I'm saying this as a guy, I know as a girl, there's. If you're, if you're a girl and it's a guy that's interested in you, I totally understand that there is, there is risk of, there's always that risk of violence or an outburst or something more often, more often than a guy rejecting a girl. Although I'm sure that that is possible too. I understand that rejections can't always be smooth. And also, if that person is a friend and they're trying to be more than friends, you might need to reject them and also give them some time apart from you. Because a lot of, I know a lot of guys that have, that have been like, oh, that's totally fine, we could totally be friends. And then like a month later they'd be like, I love you.

[Courtney Miller]

I can't do it.

[Ian Hecox]

I am in love with you. And it's so. Yeah. So sometimes you just have to completely drop them or just be like, yo, find some time. And then maybe give them the time to find somebody else to obsess over. And then maybe they can be friends with you later.

[Courtney Miller]

Time in general, help them realize, like. Cause if your friendship is just as important to the guy, then he'll understand too and be like, yeah, okay, just time will help him realize that priority too. If the friendship isn't that much of a value to him, like he'd rather be more than friends and he doesn't care about the friendship aspect anymore, then that's maybe not that great either. True with breaking up with somebody, I know that it hurts. In high school, one of my first time breaking up with a guy, I was crying so much and it was like, it was just straight up. Cause I just didn't feel the feelings that I thought I did and I was crying so much and it was just because I felt terrible that I was doing that to them. I made them feel like I did like them. And all of a sudden I'm ripping that carpet out from under them, and it just doesn't feel good. It's extreme empathy, and you don't want to do that to somebody, but you have to. Otherwise you can't just stay in a relationship and let it happen. Been there as well.

[Shane Topp]

And. And look, I've been rejected many a time, and it hurts, but then you get over it, and it's. It's totally fine. He will live. He. He should be completely fine.

[Courtney Miller]

And if the bandaid a.

[Shane Topp]

He reacts to it maturely and he's able to be your friend, then, hey, look, that shows that he's really a valuable friend. If not, then I really do question if he's worthy of friendship.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Right now, definitely. You know, he needs some good growing up to do.

[Ian Hecox]

Definitely be on the lookout for the. Yeah, that's fine. We could totally be friends. Yeah, totally. And then if they continue to be, like, creepy and creepy and weird around you, then. Then just like.

[Courtney Miller]

Or even just genuinely, like, don't understand that, like, the no is a permanent no. Because I've been in that situation before too, where I'm like, you know, I. And I actually, like, maybe did the not ready thing. And that was like an oh and oopsie doopsy.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

And that person was like, for sure. Like, no, I totally would much rather. I wouldn't want you out of my life at all. Like, just talking to you in general is wonderful. Like, I totally understand. And then like a day or two later, they're pushing at it again. It's like, that's when, you know, like, no.

[Shane Topp]

So I'm curious. Cause I've always. Any sort of. Like, when a girl has said something like that, or I'm not ready right now, or, oh, you know, I'm going through a lot. Whatever. I have always taken anything as a complete no. So if a girl's. If I'm like, If I show some interest and a girl's like, you know, I'm kind of going through a lot right now. I don't know if now's the time or whatever. I'm like, cool. You're not in my head. I'm like, yeah, you're not interested. And you didn't know how to say it. That's fine. So I always. I almost wonder if I've gone overboard with assuming those hints are completely blocked. I think it's smart. I think I am a. I would say to guys to do that because I think we have a dilemma right now of guys not taking hints and pursuing too much and not taking no for an answer. I'm of the side of, hey, it's okay if we assume a girl's not interested, even if she might be. I think that's okay.

[Courtney Miller]

Better than that in my standpoint, saying I'm going through a lot right now and stuff like that. That's me. Like, I'm not interested like that. And that's. It's a dishonest way of saying no that I've done in the past. I probably wouldn't want to do that nowadays. But that's definitely. If, like, if I. If my friend, like, if you were to be like, oh, yeah, this girl said that I'd be like, oh, yeah, probably don't try that. I think it's definitely safe to just give them more space and not enough. Because then maybe she texts you a couple weeks later and she's like, hey. And you're like, oh, shit.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. On the flip side, being. Being the person that's, you know, desiring someone. If you don't. If you don't get that reciprocation, like, why. Why would you even want to go after that? Like, if you've. If you've, like, you know, if you've thrown out your. Your line and. And it came back, you know, with no fish.

[Courtney Miller]

The worm gone.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. It's like, why are you wasting your time on trying to, like, court this person? If they have, you know, they don't respect it. Yeah. Rejected your offer. Or. Or you're like, hey, let's hang out. And then they just keep making excuses that not hang out. You're like, okay, this person just doesn't. Just simply doesn't value my time.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

And they could just be too nice about just giving a straight up rejection. So instead they just keep saying like, oh, sorry, today doesn't work. And they're not making an effort to see you, then yeah, maybe just move on. Cause they're not valuing your time. They're not valuing you as a friend. Or they're just being too nice.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

As guys. How would. How do you see the perfect. Not the perfect, but like the best rejection of like, if you ask a girl on a date what's, like, what's the way to be rejected? That is like the least painful for you.

[Shane Topp]

For me, personally, I'm just not offended if a girl. I totally understand if someone just doesn't have feelings for me or is not attracted to me, that's okay. Attraction's weird. You don't control it. You can't make yourself attracted to someone. So if a girl goes, hey, I'm sorry, I'm not interested, I go, that's great. That is the fact of the matter.

[Courtney Miller]

Then, because I know there's just a lot of anxiety that goes behind saying no. And so, like, what's her name? She said, what's her name?

[Shane Topp]

This was.

[Courtney Miller]

She says she'll stay in relationships longer. She's afraid of saying no to dates.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. That was Utermiller, who I think.

[Courtney Miller]

So coming from that standpoint, what do you think the best way of saying no is?

[Ian Hecox]

I don't know. I feel like most of the things I've gone after have been successful. I'm not going to say, like, you.

[Shane Topp]

Wait for it to be a sure bet before you're pursuing something.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Because I often do that too.

[Ian Hecox]

I wait for a good sign to then decide, like, oh, am I going to try to take this a step further?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. I'm blown away by how some guys will be like, oh, she's totally into you. And I'm like, there is no indication of that for me. I kind of. I generally think I wait for a girl to essentially make the first move.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. The last girl that I. That I talked to straight up told me that she wanted to kiss me on like a text. So I kind of just wait.

[Courtney Miller]

No, she was like, next to you when she texted you.

[Ian Hecox]

What? No.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay. Like, she text. She's like sitting next to you.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, no, look at your phone. No way.

[Ian Hecox]

I hung out and then. And then we were talking over text and then she said that and I was like, okay, so there we go. There's the confirmation. But obviously it's not that it's not gonna be that easy.

[Courtney Miller]

It's just sometimes we get a real rough reaction to a no. So I think I know.

[Shane Topp]

And that's the problem is that that's not on the person rejecting the other person. That's on that person being so emotionally immature. And there are unfortunately, and it is mostly guys, but it's girls and guys that are just not secure enough to handle being rejected.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. I think at the end of the day, you just gotta be a little selfish. Like, you gotta. And that's something I've been learning in the last, like, in being the rejector, in rejecting someone. Yeah. Is you gotta be a little more selfish. Like, you have a life too. You have feelings too. And like, it's not your job to make sure that that person's okay. It's nice of you to try, but you gotta look out for yourself.

[Ian Hecox]

You don't owe them Shit.

[Shane Topp]

You're also just telling them the truth. It's the truth. So you're not doing anything mean to someone. You're not trying to hurt someone's feelings. You are telling them what the reality of the situation is. And there's nothing wrong with that. Absolutely. A girl I dated a while ago that I was really into, and we'd been dating for a couple months, and she called me one night. She was just like, hey, can I. Can I call you? And I kind of figured. I was like, all right, I think I know what this probably is then. And she was kind of doing the thing that you're talking about where she was kind of moving around. She was just kind of like, yeah, you know, I just, like, I'm feeling, like, weird lately. So, like, you know, I don't know. I. And she said something like. She's like, I'm sorry about, like, this, or whatever, and blah, blah, blah.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm going through that right now.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. And so what I said was. I was like, well, if this. If what. What you're telling me is this, then I'm like, that's totally cool. Totally fine. And then I went, if what you're also saying is you're not interested in continuing to hang out or whatever, I'm like, that's also fine, if that's what you're saying. And she was like, yeah. And I was like, oh, thank God. And I was like, that's totally cool.

[Courtney Miller]

Please.

[Shane Topp]

Because I was like, we had similarities in that regard. And I was like, I can put myself in her shoes right now. And I'm like, this is exactly what I'd be saying, and this is what I would hope that person said back. And so I was like, look, if that's the case, it's totally fine. And then. Yeah. And it was totally fine, totally great. We still respect each other. She's a cool person. It's. We have moved on, and it's all right. You live another day. And I'm glad it all happened, you know? It's fine.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

Was it fine, Shane?

[Shane Topp]

It really was fine. I was sad. Look, of course my feelings were hurt. I was bummed. I was bummed, like, for a week. And then you get to get over it, because especially when you know for sure, when you get a definite, oh, this is over, then you get to really move on. You could be like, oh, yeah, it's done. Cool.

[Ian Hecox]

Because why do you want to spend your time on somebody that. That doesn't have the same feelings for you?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

And that's and that's that weird thing where I guess some people just don't understand that completely. I think they feel like a possession towards people. You know what I mean? Like, how could you not want this?

[Shane Topp]

Nobody. They don't owe you. Nobody. You don't owe them anything. A relationship is a thing if two people are getting happiness out of that thing, you know, you're doing it for fun, really, at the end of the day. And if you don't want it, then you don't have to do it.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, Jafar. So stop trying to capture Jasmine. She doesn't love you.

[Shane Topp]

Exactly. That's what this is all about.

[Ian Hecox]

She doesn't love you, so don't even try, bro.

[Courtney Miller]

Get Jafar. Far away from here, bro.

[Ryan Higa]

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[Shane Topp]

No purchase necessary. VGW Group void where prohibited by law. 21 plus terms and conditions apply. All right, so next question. Arley Huggins asks, how do I overcome the fear of going to therapy?

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, wow, that's.

[Shane Topp]

That's a great.

[Ian Hecox]

That's a great. I have zero advice for that.

[Shane Topp]

Have you not. You haven't signed up. It's been a couple weeks now of people reminding you every day.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, so there's. There's this great, great lady on Twitter. Her name, I believe, is Nat. And every day she sends me a video. Yeah, her handle is Heartfelt Hecox. Every day she sends me. So right now, it's day 15 of hitting the Whoa. Every day until now, it's Smashy in and Damien Hoss go to therapy. So she just. She has this white wall and she just walks on screen, hits the whoa, and then walks out.

[Shane Topp]

That's awesome.

[Ian Hecox]

And so every day she sends us a video of her hitting the whoa.

[Courtney Miller]

And is that helping you? Is that motivating you to go fricking start therapy, Dude?

[Ian Hecox]

I'm enjoying the videos.

[Courtney Miller]

I knew that was the answer.

[Shane Topp]

It's giving him a reason not to go. Now he's like, oh, I get these videos.

[Ian Hecox]

So every day she walks on with a different outfit.

[Courtney Miller]

What's her name?

[Ian Hecox]

Nat.

[Courtney Miller]

Nat, stop hitting the woe. Until he.

[Ian Hecox]

No, no, keep hitting the woe.

[Courtney Miller]

Keep hitting the woe. Then hit the woe when he finally goes.

[Ian Hecox]

Keep the meme alive.

[Shane Topp]

Why haven't you signed up for therap therapy at.

[Ian Hecox]

That's a great question.

[Courtney Miller]

It's the same reason why you don't go through your mail, right?

[Ian Hecox]

Huh?

[Courtney Miller]

It's the same reason you don't go through your mail.

[Ian Hecox]

Exactly. You just don't think of it. It's one more thing on the list. So I think I really do. I think I honestly do just need to make a list of things that I have to take care of therapy. Checking them out.

[Courtney Miller]

I will say this. There's a lot of fear of going to therapy. And I've heard, like, people talk about why they're afraid to go and, like, how it's like nerve wracking to, like, share private information.

[Ian Hecox]

I'm not even worried about that and.

[Courtney Miller]

Finding the right therapist.

[Shane Topp]

I'm not worried though. I'm not worried, but I'm not obvious. I'm fine.

[Courtney Miller]

It's like, a lot of anxiety is like, finding a good therapist because I guess people go through having to go through multiple ones. I got extremely lucky on my first attempt at therapy and getting an amazing person. But, like, I can understand, like, oh, what if that person sucks and then you have to go to another one and start over on, like, what your issues are and stuff like that. That's scary. But, like, I think the positive thing is you literally are going into a room and you have someone who's legally not allowed to share any of your private information. You can say whatever you want. Unless you're like, gonna murder someone.

[Shane Topp]

Unless you are about to. Literally about to murder someone.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, obviously. But other than that, you can talk all the mad shit or murder yourself. You can, yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

Ian, do you think it's ever been called murder? Have you, Ian, Sorry.

[Courtney Miller]

Literally someone who is not allowed to, by law, share your shit. Talking your.

[Ian Hecox]

Well, I do all that here, so that doesn't concern me. For me, it's honestly just a time thing. It's like I'm so focused on smosh that I convince myself that, no, I have to be here every day and through the whole day and then go home and then do, like, whatever it is that I do with the rest of my day.

[Courtney Miller]

Do you ever wonder that, like, might be unhealthy?

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, of course.

[Shane Topp]

That might be a reason you should go to therapy.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, like, might be another reason to go.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, are you saying I don't have to come into work Ever. Is that what you're saying? I don't need work?

[Courtney Miller]

Okay, I didn't say that. There is a gray area.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, that's. I mean, that's really honestly the main thing. I mean, it's the same reason why. I mean, I actually. I think going to the dentist is awesome because I, like, I go there and I'm excited. I'm like, yeah, fix my shit. But again, I didn't go to the dentist for, like, five years because it was just like, ah, man, I gotta. The phone call is honestly the worst part. I hate making appointments on the phone. Hate it. I don't know, it's just there's this. I mean, maybe it's some sort of anxiety that I get to in therapy, but I hate that phone call and just, like, trying to, like, look through my calendar and find, like, a time slot and being like, I don't know this dentist. I hope they don't mess my teeth up.

[Courtney Miller]

There's a lot of, like, fear of what ifs.

[Ian Hecox]

Of course.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

And that's gonna hold you back no matter what. That's something I like. One of the first things is, like, I kept mentioning fear, like, so much in my therapy. Every time was afraid of this, afraid of this. And she'd be like, well, why? And then I would explain the worst cases and be like, oh, those actually aren't that bad. Or, like, if that did happen, there's an easy way to fix that. So it's like, fear, like. And my mantra that has been, it's literally on my phone as, like, my background just detach from outcome. Like, just do it. Just go.

[Shane Topp]

It's small things in therapy that will blow your mind. For me, it was after a couple sessions. My therapist, I was talking and I was just like, yeah, you know, I should feel like I should be doing this and I should be doing that. And she was like, you're saying should so much. She's like, replace should with want and see how that makes you feel. And I was like, whoa, okay, that's actually huge. Because now, instead of it being this obligation, if I'm saying, oh, I want to go to the gym tomorrow morning, I'm like, if that doesn't feel true to me, then I can now see my whole life in a different perspective. So stuff like that, man, it's the small things. It's things that you're not gonna think you needed to go to therapy for, that you will then end up working on.

[Ian Hecox]

But once you get your degree, can I just come to your house?

[Shane Topp]

No, Because I will not be a qualified therapist. I would need to get a master's degree and probably more.

[Ian Hecox]

That's gonna take you, like, 30 years.

[Shane Topp]

I know. So damn long. But, Ian, it's not your fault.

[Courtney Miller]

It's not your fault.

[Shane Topp]

It's not your fault.

[Ian Hecox]

Don't do this to me.

[Shane Topp]

It's not your fault.

[Ian Hecox]

Stop.

[Courtney Miller]

This advice isn't just for you.

[Shane Topp]

It's not your fault.

[Courtney Miller]

The question, too. But go to therapy.

[Shane Topp]

That was supposed to make you break down in tears.

[Ian Hecox]

I'm just gonna hit the woe.

[Shane Topp]

I guess it didn't work.

[Ian Hecox]

I'm learning how to do. I'm learning how to hit the. Whoa. From these videos. They're very informative.

[Shane Topp]

Our next question comes from. Aleenelattis. How do you hide a body?

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, great question. I actually was talking about this the other day.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I think we were.

[Ian Hecox]

How to dispose of a body.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, I don't know the first thing. It's luckily not a thought I have often, but every now and then I'll just be like, what if I did accidentally? Or, like.

[Courtney Miller]

Or had the help if I killed somebody?

[Shane Topp]

Like, if I just had a dead body in my apartment, like, what would you do? I'd be like, I don't know what to do with this. I really would just freak out.

[Ian Hecox]

Let's say. Let's say you killed Hitler. But you know that, like, you're still gonna get murder charges if you killed Hitler.

[Shane Topp]

So you're like, okay, so are you in Berlin? Is he somehow in Southern California?

[Ian Hecox]

He was doing a speaking tour. He was down in Orange county just doing. He's doing a speaking tour and you decided, I'm gonna murder Hitler while he's visiting.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, I see. You're all fans of my books here. I just happen to be here, I don't know why, in 2019.

[Ian Hecox]

And then you just booped him with a claw hammer.

[Shane Topp]

Slap him so hard, gets a concussion.

[Ian Hecox]

So there you are. You're left with the body of Hitler, let's say.

[Shane Topp]

But there's no people around. You got him off. You got him alone.

[Ian Hecox]

You followed him.

[Shane Topp]

Okay, let's say you have him in your car. You have Hitler in your trunk.

[Courtney Miller]

It's taking so long. You have a body. Just.

[Ian Hecox]

How did you kill him?

[Shane Topp]

Does it matter?

[Ian Hecox]

I mean, yes, it does, because how you kill him depends on how much evidence you're leaving. See, if you're doing, like, blunt force trauma, you could be leaving.

[Courtney Miller]

You have a dead body, and somehow it's your fault.

[Shane Topp]

Okay, okay, let's simplify it you have the body. There's no evidence outside of your car. But there's evidence now in your car. Cause there's just body. Maybe there's some blood in your trunk, whatever.

[Ian Hecox]

Or you take him to a kill room, a room that you've set up.

[Courtney Miller]

There's just too much.

[Shane Topp]

Ian.

[Courtney Miller]

This is a dead body.

[Shane Topp]

Ian. You need to go to therapy right now.

[Ian Hecox]

So you covered your living room in plastic wrap, right?

[Shane Topp]

Oh my God. You dextered him.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. So then you invite him over for some tea.

[Courtney Miller]

No, the death already happened. I wanna get past the murder. We have a dead body, we gotta hide it. Sure. It's Dexter death.

[Ian Hecox]

All right.

[Shane Topp]

Okay. Yeah. I like to think that it's less planned out than that.

[Ian Hecox]

Okay, great. So here's what you do. You buy a really realistic mask, right? You steal a car. So you, you plan some kind of. You need, you need some kind of paper trail that's gonna lead you in the opposite direction of where you're actually going to leave this body. And so then yeah, you either, you either steal a car or you steal plates. And you wear this very realistic mask of a 50 year old man on your head just in case any surveillance cameras pick you up, gas station, whatever, drive him out to the woods. There's a lot of maybe, I mean maybe Oregon.

[Shane Topp]

There's a lot of like really deep drive to Oregon.

[Ian Hecox]

Well, there's deep forest somewhere out in California.

[Shane Topp]

Sir, why did you take this trip to Oregon mysteriously the day of Hitler's death in Orange County.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Or Hitler's disappearance.

[Ian Hecox]

And then you gotta decide like, well, should I bury the body? Like could, could animals dig that up? Like do you wanna instead or would they eat it? They could eat it.

[Shane Topp]

True. Feed them to the bears.

[Ian Hecox]

True. But then remains could turn up true.

[Courtney Miller]

I feel like you wouldn't wanna drive as far as Oregon. You'd wanna make it a one day trip so that your alibis as small of a gap as possible.

[Ian Hecox]

If you're doing it from Los Angeles, the forest is actually pretty close. Like you could.

[Courtney Miller]

Or the desert.

[Ian Hecox]

Ooh, ooh. Yeah, that's true. Just dig a hole in the desert.

[Courtney Miller]

Textbook Breaking bad guys.

[Ian Hecox]

That's true.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. See my thought would be get you get. You have dead Hitler in your trunk. Take him home. Then you may fill a pool. Like a kiddie pool. Or just enough.

[Ian Hecox]

He's in the acid thing.

[Shane Topp]

Just enough. No, with cement. You put him into the cement. You get that cement out, you make a statue of Hitler. Different historical figures.

[Ian Hecox]

Okay, I thought you were gonna make.

[Courtney Miller]

A Statue of Hitler?

[Shane Topp]

No, maybe just a normal statue. Just maybe a statue of yourself. And Hitler is dead. Body is inside of that statue.

[Ian Hecox]

That is horror.

[Shane Topp]

Hide in plain sight.

[Ian Hecox]

That is horrifying.

[Courtney Miller]

There was, like, a freaky Disney movie or something that was like that.

[Ian Hecox]

I feel like when it got hot in the summer, it would start to, like, seep out. That'd be bad.

[Courtney Miller]

No, but if you. Okay, but that's, like, really smart, though. Don't make them. The statue look like you, though, because what if somebody does find it?

[Shane Topp]

Maybe I'd make the statue just a giant ween. Just a giant. You know, penis and testicles have Hitler on the inside of that.

[Courtney Miller]

That's pretty good. Yeah, statue is pretty good.

[Ian Hecox]

I think concrete's a little porous. I'd be afraid that some things might start to seep.

[Shane Topp]

Why is that statue of a ween bleeding?

[Courtney Miller]

It's symbolism.

[Shane Topp]

It's symbolism.

[Ian Hecox]

It's a dedication to all the people with chlamydia.

[Shane Topp]

That's right.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

It brings awareness.

[Shane Topp]

I sincerely don't know the first thing about disposing of a body, and I can't.

[Ian Hecox]

This is gonna come back to, like, really screw me over later.

[Courtney Miller]

You just gotta eat it.

[Shane Topp]

Well, you definitely can't.

[Ian Hecox]

That's actually true.

[Shane Topp]

Look, you can't kill anyone now, because people are gonna look back on this podcast and be like, this guy murdered someone.

[Ian Hecox]

Well, no, this. Actually. I'm setting up a totally different scenario. I'm gonna hide a body in a totally different way so that then I can use this podcast and be like, look, I would have done it this way. I already said it.

[Shane Topp]

Smart.

[Ian Hecox]

And we're gonna cut this part of me explaining this out of the podcast so that doesn't also come to, you know, bite me in the ass. So the prosecutor doesn't say, well, look, you literally just explained what you did right there. So then you did murder this person. Dang it. I should really stay away from any murder scene from now on.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I should.

[Ian Hecox]

Really not. Yeah, I'm gonna stay away from murders.

[Shane Topp]

Guys, whether or not you kill someone, you're probably going to jail.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, you're probably gonna go to jail. Don't. By the way, if you ever get arrested, don't say anything. I'm serious.

[Shane Topp]

This smosh advice has gone off the rail.

[Ian Hecox]

Even if you. Even if there's no. There's no connection. The police arrest you, do not say a word without a lawyer. Don't say anything.

[Shane Topp]

That's if you are innocent. Yes. If. If you murdered someone.

[Ian Hecox]

No, please. No. Even if you're innocent, don't say anything.

[Shane Topp]

I'm saying if you're innocent, don't say anything.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

If you murdered someone, please confess to the murder.

[Ian Hecox]

Just confession.

[Shane Topp]

Do it. You're gonna feel better if shit did. Okay.

[Courtney Miller]

Confess.

[Ian Hecox]

Do you think there's a murderer that's listening right now? Probably criticizing everything we're saying.

[Shane Topp]

Probably.

[Ian Hecox]

He's like, wow. Wow. They didn't even. They didn't even hide. They didn't even talk about hiding the murder weapon. They idiots. They.

[Shane Topp]

There was no. They did not buy lime at all. They have no idea what they're doing.

[Ian Hecox]

Lie. Right?

[Shane Topp]

Is it lie? I see. This is how little I know about getting rid of a body. I watched that. There's the second or third episode of Breaking Bad where they try to dispose of a body, and it's the grossest thing you'll ever see.

[Ian Hecox]

Hilarious.

[Shane Topp]

I don't ever want to. They're two very different perspectives. Oh, God.

[Courtney Miller]

Go to a construction site and then put it there.

[Shane Topp]

That's actually probably smart.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Get it. When they're, like, filling somewhere somewhere or.

[Shane Topp]

Fill it with some, like, an animatronic bits, like sneak onto Pirates of the Caribbean at Disneyland.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, a Pirates of the Caribbean ride already smells.

[Shane Topp]

So take it to the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Strap it to one of the animatronics. So it's just moving along with them.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, nice.

[Shane Topp]

People are like, wow, that dead pirate looks so real. Oh, this ride's so scary.

[Ian Hecox]

And the pirate's ride smells really bad.

[Shane Topp]

It already smells like a corpse, so.

[Ian Hecox]

You wouldn't be able to tell the difference.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. Yep. Dead men tell no tales.

[Courtney Miller]

Nice.

[Ian Hecox]

Anyways, so get a job at Disneyland if you want to murder somebody.

[Shane Topp]

Okay. All right. Psych1216 asks. My two friends really like each other and are perfect for each other, but they're too scared to have a conversation about it. Should I do something?

[Ian Hecox]

So here's how you hide a body.

[Shane Topp]

Dang it. No.

[Courtney Miller]

I feel like it's kind of bad to meddle externally. I don't know.

[Shane Topp]

I mean, look, if. To Jane is her name. If your two friends have told you individually that they like each other, don't force it. But I would definitely say to each of them, be like, hey, you've both come to me individually and said this. I don't feel bad.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Saying that you should let. They need to make that move.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

For their own sake at least.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. That's a good idea. At least tell each person like, you know, they said that they like you too.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, that's weird. I was gonna say grab both their heads and force them to kiss. Now.

[Courtney Miller]

Kiss.

[Shane Topp]

Now. Kiss.

[Ian Hecox]

Kiss. Kiss. Kiss. Kiss.

[Shane Topp]

And then take them to the Pirates of the Caribbean ride. Strap them to the.

[Ian Hecox]

You know, a girl tried forcing Anthony and I to kiss one time.

[Shane Topp]

Like, legitimately.

[Courtney Miller]

Me in a Vine.

[Shane Topp]

She tried to.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, you did? Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Wait, what's this story?

[Ian Hecox]

I mean, like, I can't get too deep into it, but one time I want to say, we were, like, out. This was out of, like, high school. And for some reason we were like. We were just, like, hanging out. And she's like, I want you guys to kiss. And we're. Anthony and I were like, what? No. And she's like, come on.

[Shane Topp]

It's like, so weird.

[Ian Hecox]

Super freaking.

[Shane Topp]

That's so creepy.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, girls.

[Ian Hecox]

So don't do that. Don't do that. Even if your friends said that they like each other. But I do like the idea. Idea of mention. I mean, if they both made. If they both said that they like each other, then yeah, maybe. Maybe talk to one of them about.

[Shane Topp]

It and be like, hey, I don't think there's anything. I personally don't think there's anything wrong with telling them each individually.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I think that's great.

[Shane Topp]

Hey, the other one said they like you. You guys are both dumb for not doing something about this situation.

[Courtney Miller]

Now go forth and keys.

[Shane Topp]

Now go forth. Keith and Keith.

[Ian Hecox]

Keith.

[Shane Topp]

You both knew.

[Courtney Miller]

Keith, please, Keith, Keith.

[Ian Hecox]

Keith, leak.

[Courtney Miller]

Please, Keith, leak to me. Keith, Keith, Keith.

[Shane Topp]

Yeehawha's love that asks how can I start to learn to accept love things about myself that I'm insecure about. I really like the wording on that of how do I start to love the things that I'm insecure about? Because it's not just, how am I okay with it or how do I ignore. Not worry about the insecurities?

[Ian Hecox]

Look no further than the girl from Dirty Dancing. She.

[Shane Topp]

Jennifer Grey.

[Ian Hecox]

Is that.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, are you talking about how she got.

[Ian Hecox]

She, like, she was this, like, big star right from that movie. She, like, blew up and then she got a nose job and then she just ended up looking like everyone else.

[Courtney Miller]

And she didn't get work that much. Really?

[Ian Hecox]

Nope.

[Courtney Miller]

She did she openly regret it?

[Shane Topp]

I don't know, actually.

[Ian Hecox]

Finner D Saying yes.

[Shane Topp]

Did she openly regret it later on? Later on? Well, yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

It's like, I think that people. People discount how much what makes them different. Like, I think the imperfections is what makes people different and makes them look special. Like I've dated people that had, like, scars or they had, like, something weird here, something, you know, weird. But I loved it. I mean, that's what. That's what, like, it's not the only thing that differentiated them from anyone else, but that's what made them them.

[Shane Topp]

Each and every one of us has so many different types of features. Some that you could say are negative, some positive, but those all collected together make you who you are. And if you got rid of the things that you're insecure about that make you imperfect, then you're just not interesting then. I mean, look at any character from any book or movie or TV show. And you don't love these characters because they're perfect. You love them for the collection of different things. And the things that make them imperfect are often the things that make them human and endearing. But it's tough to see that from within your own self.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, it's a big picture thing. Like, insecurities end up building a different type of strength or humbleness in yourself. There's always the, oh, that girl was ugly in high school and now she's hot. And it's like a whole other different type of person rather than someone who was always hot. I definitely wasn't. I like the way I look now. I hated the way I looked back then. And it's like, I would. I'm very thankful for where I came from. And it's like everyone is always glowing up, whether it's inside or out. And it's like the flaws bring you to a different type of, like, I don't know, you should wear it as an armor instead of as like a cast, you know?

[Ian Hecox]

Were you ever insecure about your pupil?

[Courtney Miller]

No, not really.

[Ian Hecox]

Because I think. I think that's cool. I think that's super cool.

[Shane Topp]

It's definitely cool.

[Courtney Miller]

Sometimes in pictures, I think I look a little cross eyed. And like, sometimes fans notice it, but, like, that's the least of my worries in terms of, like, insecurities. But I've found a superpower in embracing it in certain flaws because it allows others to find abilities in embracing them too. And it's like, sometimes, yeah, it's like you said, Ian, like, sometimes what you think is a flaw is something that other people admire, especially in you. Like, I used to be really insecure about my legs. And like, when I first started on Smosh, people be like, oh, my God, cornea, your legs. I'm dying. Like, what? And I was like, what? That's so weird to hear. And it's like, we don't always know what's best for us inside. It's the same for outside, too, sometimes.

[Ian Hecox]

And I think a lot of times you realize those insecurities don't mean anything when you find, you know, if you're in a relationship, you find the right kind of person. That. That. Because I've been in. I've been in relationships, I'm like, oh, gosh, I don't know about this. And they're like, what are you talking about? I love that.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. And it's that kind of like, if you have. If you're in a relationship with somebody that, you know, talks down on your sort of insecurities, like, that's terrible. Like, I mean, you should definitely find somebody that. That loves you the way you look.

[Courtney Miller]

You should never criticize someone on anything that they can't change in five seconds.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. And also, it helps you become a more confident person. And there really is, like, honestly, is like, nothing more sexy than confidence.

[Shane Topp]

And really, I'm always fascinated by people who are very confident with things that most people would be very insecure about because it speaks to a strength that is so, so powerful.

[Courtney Miller]

And there's also a security blanket. And knowing you're worried about this one thing, odds are everyone else is worrying about their own thing and aren't even looking at your thing. Like, they're just so worried about their own insecurities that they haven't even noticed yours. People should put more money on that and more bank on that. Of, like, I shouldn't worry about this as much as I do because nobody else is.

[Shane Topp]

And honestly, a lot of the most unattractive features in people are born out of them handling their insecurities in the wrong way. Right. You know, we're often insecure about things that we can't control. And if you're able to love those things, you'll prevent yourself from then instead, dealing with that insecurity by. I mean, a thing I can think about is, you know, I'm a shorter guy, and I've gone through phases where I'm very insecure about it. And I go, oh, God, I wish I was taller. Oh, hate that I'm. This. That makes me less appealing, whatever, blah, blah, blah. And I can handle that by trying to overcompensate. And, you know, you hear a lot of it of like, oh, little man syndrome or whatever, Napoleon syndrome, where shorter guys are just very angry, whatever. Which is a very real thing. I've seen it.

[Courtney Miller]

They drive big.

[Shane Topp]

And that's because instead of going, you Know what? This is my height, and it's actually awesome. It makes me who I am, and it makes me an individual. And there's a lot that's cool about. About it. And.

[Courtney Miller]

And Shane, you can't have everything. Okay.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

All right. You can't be good looking, a great guy, and tall like you would be. You would honestly end up being the worst guy. Like, if you had all of those things going for you.

[Shane Topp]

I think they were such a piece of shit.

[Courtney Miller]

You'd be such a piece of shit.

[Ian Hecox]

Fuck you, Shane.

[Shane Topp]

I think there was a phase where I thought I was like, if I could wish to be taller if I woke up tomorrow and I was 6 3, and I was like, would I want that really? And I'm like, no. Because I would look in the mirror and I would not know who I am. I'm like, that is. It's. It's just who I am. It's. It's literally the character that is written down. I mean, I think of it in fictional characters. If suddenly Harry Potter just was different, looked different in some way, we'd be all. We'd all be mad because no, that's Harry Potter. That's who he. Who he is. And he's not perfect. And that's so many characters. And that's the same with. With all of us. So.

[Ian Hecox]

And flaws is what makes everyone interesting.

[Shane Topp]

Flaws are literally the most interesting feature of people.

[Ian Hecox]

That's why, like, I'm trying to like a sort of a movie where the flawed characters. Oh, I mean, I mean, freaking. Look at. Look at Black Panther, right? So, like, were you more interested in, like, in the movie Black Panther? Were you more interested in the Black Panther dude or Michael B. Jordan?

[Courtney Miller]

Michael B. Jordan's character was dull.

[Ian Hecox]

He was way cooler. All right? Way cooler. He was also the villain.

[Shane Topp]

He was probably not handling his insecurities in all the best ways.

[Courtney Miller]

And those scars were each a mark of how many murders.

[Shane Topp]

However. However. Courtney, you mentioned wearing your flaws as armor. Which is my favorite quote from Game of Thrones is in the first episode, Tyrion is talking to Jon, who's upset because he's a bastard, which he didn't choose. That's just at the time, you know, that's just who he was born to be. And Tyrion's like, I can't. I didn't choose to be a dwarf. This is who I am. And he's like, wear your flaws as armor and no one can hurt you. Like, not only accepting who you are, but going, this is who I am. And I Love it. And then you are so powerful. And it's what I love about the body positivity movement right now of like, people overweight for so long have felt they need to be ashamed about it and instead being like, no, this is who I am. And it's okay if you're even going through a phase of I want to lose weight, but in the meantime, this is still who I am right now and I'm going to love it.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, love it. And then it's like, honestly, if someone's willing to say something mean, I was like, I dare you to point out this flaw about me. Like, that's such an asshole move to actually point something like that out.

[Shane Topp]

Those people are insecure.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I dare you to insult my birthmark or whatever. Like, also people, I knew this girl in middle school, she had a birthmark. It was almost like Zuko in Avatar where it's like the eye was red like that. And she was super insecure about it and tried to hide it with her hair. And like nowadays she's rocking it on Instagram.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, man. Like, it's so cool. The confidence over those things is awesome. And also never the most motivated I am to when I'm feeling at my best and I'm most motivated to improve myself and I'm doing things is when I am accepting of those flaws and not worrying about the insecurity.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. And I think to quote another thing from probably, I mean, it was probably season two of Game of Thrones. Hodor.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh yeah.

[Shane Topp]

And to quote season eight, my favorite line, I don't want it. She's my queen.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I relate to that one. So hard.

[Shane Topp]

How to have fun anytime, anywhere.

[Ian Hecox]

Step one, go to chumbacasino.com chumbacasino.com Got it.

[Shane Topp]

Step two, collect your welcome bonus.

[Ryan Higa]

Come to papa.

[Ian Hecox]

Welcome bonus.

[Shane Topp]

Step three, Play hundreds of casino style games for free.

[Ryan Higa]

That's a lot of games, all for free.

[Shane Topp]

Step four, Unleash your excitement. Chumba Casino has been delivering thrills for over a decade. So claim your free welcome bonus now and live the chumba life. Visit chumbacasino.com no purchase necessary VGW Group Void we're prohibited by law 21 + terms and conditions apply. So these next two or the next one is actually very similar. So it was. It was from underlanddurry. I'm a really shy person. It's something that I feel insecure about because people have always told me that it's a negative thing, especially for my age, which is 21. Do you have any Tips on how to overcome shyness. Similar. Similar type of vein of. There's nothing wrong with being shy, and that's okay. And also, 21 is still very young. A lot of people are still learning who they are, so don't feel that there's some age. Man, that's the thing that I've done since I've always gone, oh, man. Literally, I've caught myself thinking this past week, like, I'm 27. I should be over this already. I should be more mature about this. And then I just know. And I can look back on the first journal entry I had when I was 15. It was saying stuff of like, well, you know, I haven't had a girlfriend and all this stuff. And I'm 15, so I don't know. It hasn't happened now. It's probably never gonna happen. And I'm sure there's so many entries over the years where it's like, well, I'm 19, and so don't put an expectation on your age.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. Also, I think the shyness could come from, you know, maybe you're just not hanging around the right people. Like, maybe you don't want to talk to these people because you don't relate to them. Like, maybe you should find a group of people that share the same hobbies as you. Like, you know, some of the most shy people that I know will light up in a conversation if you talk about something that interests them. So maybe. Maybe you're just. You haven't found the right people, and you. Maybe you just. I don't know. Well.

[Shane Topp]

And it's a devastating loop when you're insecure, when you go, I'm shy, I'm gonna be shy in this situation, I'm worried about being shy. Well, now, of course you're gonna be shy because you're worried about that. Know that. That even if you are in a situation and you're shy and you don't say a word, it's okay, I think.

[Ian Hecox]

I mean, I just. I try to throw myself into as many situations that I can, like, socially. Like, I don't. I don't consider myself. I don't think I'm an extrovert, But I know if I just default to, like, no. Like, I. I just would feel more comfortable at home. Like, I know if I just default to. That I'm not getting life experience. I'm not. I'm not meeting new people. And so sometimes just. Just, you know, throwing yourself into the deep end of social interaction. I mean, it really pays off.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, I'm a fan of that as well. I do think it's important within reason to push your limits. And when you go, oh, I feel uncomfortable about this, I think that's when you should do it. I think in the right circumstances, when you feel you want to take a step back is when you should take a couple steps forward.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. Because, I mean, you don't know who. Who's gonna be at this next thing, or you don't know what kind of conversation you could strike up with somebody. You don't know everything about everybody. You know, I've. I've made some of. Some of my best friends at the most random places, like with the craziest sort of circumstances where I just happen to be right place, right time. I was there, they were there. Some sort of conversation got, you know, struck up. And it's like, you like that thing too? Oh, let's talk about that, you know.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

So it's like you. You really just have to try to throw yourself out there.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. And also there will be those times when you want to stay in and don't feel guilty about that.

[Courtney Miller]

I don't know. You're 21, so you probably have a job or you don't. But yeah, there's ways of practicing being social, like having a job, and it's like, yeah, you're practicing being social and also getting paid. So there are little things you can do that are routine situations where you can practice just being outgoing and stuff like that too.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. And focus on what you like about other people, about people you meet, what's interesting about them, your friends, what makes them interesting. Because that'll make you more motivated to go out and talk to them because you'll feel safer. Oh, these lovely people. All the cool people in the world. A lot of times when I'm at my most shy is when I get in my head about. People are all going to initially judge me that they're all. That there's a little bit more aggression or. I don't know, their thinking is more villainous than it really is. And so I get nervous. Whatever.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

Or if you're really shy, just go out to the woods and live. Live life, you know, in a wood. Be a lumberjack, you know, Winnebago, man.

[Shane Topp]

Did it live in a giant walnut. Carve a little house inside the giant walnut. Have a little pickaxe, Go out searching for oars.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, I think I've. I think I've read this book, James and the Giant Walnut.

[Shane Topp]

That's correct.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. It's a great Book. We have time for one more.

[Shane Topp]

Wow.

[Ian Hecox]

One more boy.

[Shane Topp]

All right. Cole Hirsch.

[Ian Hecox]

Our boy Cole Cole Hirsch, who used to write for us.

[Shane Topp]

Used to write for us. Now you can find him on podcast, but outside, which is hilarious. He asks how to make money without job. Hashtag sponsh advice.

[Ian Hecox]

Great question.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. Selfie pics.

[Ian Hecox]

Well, I mean, any selfie pics. Selfie. Do elaborate selfies. Do elaborate. Courtney.

[Courtney Miller]

Selfie pics. I don't know. Sarah schauer has a YouTube video talking all about it. If you want to watch how to sell feet pics.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, sell.

[Shane Topp]

Sell feet pics. That is a selfie pics. Cole's probably listening. Sell pictures of your feet. I guess.

[Ian Hecox]

I don't know how good Cole's feet are.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, I'm not sure either.

[Ian Hecox]

I don't think they see much sun. They're not well tanned.

[Courtney Miller]

Do you see a lot of sun, Ian?

[Ian Hecox]

Hell, no. Have you seen my feet? Yes, they're insanely pale.

[Courtney Miller]

I'd love to foot five you guys.

[Shane Topp]

Right now, they're actually invisible. Ian will take off his shoes and socks, and it looks like he's just hovering around on ankles.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Like some sort of poltergeist.

[Ian Hecox]

Have you seen that barrel fish that has, like, the translucent head?

[Shane Topp]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's what you see. Yeah. You are a deep sea creature. Yes.

[Ian Hecox]

It's translucent.

[Shane Topp]

James Cameron took his fancy submarine down to the depths of the Mariana's Trench and found Ian.

[Courtney Miller]

Mariana Grande's Trench.

[Shane Topp]

Mariana Grande Trench and found Ian just swimming around catching tiny plankton with his mouth.

[Ian Hecox]

So how does one make money without a job? I mean, I guess it depends how you define a job. What? Is it a traditional job or is it anything that you're spending? I mean, like, you're getting paid to do something. You're gonna have to do some kind of work.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, I don't. I don't actually know.

[Ian Hecox]

Unless you want to. I mean. Well, I mean, even if you're working a sugar daddy website, I think.

[Shane Topp]

I think Cole is trying to just ask if we can just give him money.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, I think so.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm gonna go on the sugar daddy website. Should I do that?

[Ian Hecox]

Um, no.

[Shane Topp]

Well, you know what my advice actually would be? To make money without a job is to live inside a giant walnut. You carve into it, and then you go out into the woods in search of rare ores such as iron and mithril, and you fashion those into a nice armor that you can wear and sail at the shop at the nearby village, but they don't trust you because you're an outcast.

[Courtney Miller]

The shakiness for cursing.

[Shane Topp]

They have hoard of donkeys 20 years earlier. Little do they know it was because the witch that lived in the swamps nearby was after the donkeys. And you put a curse on them that would protect them, but it backfired. I'm wiggling a lot. You'll see it in the video version that comes out on Friday.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, my God. So we're not gonna get a serious response for this.

[Courtney Miller]

Get a job.

[Ian Hecox]

Just get a job. Yeah, Cole, why don't you just get a job?

[Courtney Miller]

He has a job.

[Ian Hecox]

He's doing his podcast, which is really, really funny.

[Shane Topp]

It is really funny. Great concept. Yeah. They just set up a podcast stand somewhere outside.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, my gosh. Did you see what they did? When a park official came up to their cameraman, he was like, oh, I'm not with them. I just asked if I could film them. He's like, oh, okay. Goes up to the park people. Oh, yeah, we don't know him.

[Shane Topp]

It's so great.

[Courtney Miller]

We're just recording audio.

[Shane Topp]

It's so great. And shout out to Cole as well. We had our third most annoying kid sketch come out. It is doing really well. The most annoying kid gets canceled and Cole wrote the first one of it. And his spirit is definitely imbued in all three. They are worth checking out. We're very proud of him.

[Ian Hecox]

Alright, well, that about does it for the first Smosh advice. If you guys want us to do more, let us know. And just a reminder, we got new merch, Smosh store, baby Tinder for hot dogs. Tinder for hot dog shirt. We got the rainbow hoodie. We also got the. The classic yellow hoodie that came back. It's limited supply, though. Both the Tinder for hot dogs and the yellow hoodie. Our limited supply.

[Shane Topp]

That's right. So get them while you can because the storm is coming. That is Tinder for hot dogs and you need to be prepared.

[Ian Hecox]

Yep.

[Courtney Miller]

Also, if you want a tutorial on how to do your hair like me.

[Ian Hecox]

Right now, just stick your head outside a window in a car.

[Shane Topp]

I really do recommend watching the video version of this. It's on another level.

[Courtney Miller]

You will not be able to take my advice seriously.

[Ian Hecox]

Smosh water bottles. They're super great.

[Shane Topp]

They're really great.

[Ian Hecox]

Cold, lukewarm, whatever you want, you can put it in there. Molten lava would not suggest it.

[Shane Topp]

Well, but. But if you want to melt down rare ores and put them in there to work. Whoa. Who is that guy? Crazy.

[Ian Hecox]

If you guys are not yet subscribed to the podcast on any of your favorite podcast apps. I would suggest you do that because you don't want to miss a single episode.

[Shane Topp]

No, you don't.

[Ian Hecox]

They come out on Wednesday and on Friday they come out censored on YouTube. But you can see our pretty, pretty faces.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. And my pretty, pretty hair.

[Ian Hecox]

That's right. You need to see this hair. Thank you guys so much. Thank you, Shane and Courtney, for. For doling out this decent advice. No, you guys did a good job. I'm really. I'm really proud of you guys. You guys threw out some good stuff. And Nat, keep hitting that whoa. Because I haven't gone to therapy yet.

[Courtney Miller]

Don't woe until he goes.

[Ian Hecox]

Keep hitting that whoa.

[Shane Topp]

All right.

[Courtney Miller]

Whoa. Till he go.

[Ian Hecox]

Bye.

[Shane Topp]

Gross. Foreign hello.

[Ryan Higa]

It is Ryan. And I was on a flight the other day playing one of my favorite social spin slot games on chumbacasino.com I looked over the person sitting next to me and you know what they were doing? They were also playing Chumba Casino. Everybody's loving having fun with it. Chuma Casino's home to hundreds of casino style games. Games that you can play for free, anytime, anywhere. So sign up [e-mail] to claim your free welcome bonus. That's chumbacasino.com and live the Chumba life.

[Shane Topp]

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