S1: #28 - Rescue Cats, Hypnotism, & Rejected Smosh Jokes w/ Podcast But Outside

Summary

Title: Smosh Mouth - Rescue Cats, Hypnotism, & Rejected Smosh Jokes w/ Podcast But Outside

Hosts: Shayne Topp, Amanda Lehan-Canto, and Guests from Podcast But Outside (Kohl, Hirsch, Andrew)

Release Date: August 28, 2019

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Introduction

In episode #28 of Smosh Mouth, hosts Shayne Topp and Amanda Lehan-Canto are joined by the dynamic trio from Podcast But Outside—Kohl, Hirsch, and Andrew. This engaging episode explores a variety of topics, including quirky phobias, the effectiveness of hypnotism, amusing stories about rejected Smosh jokes, and the adventures of public podcasting.

Guest Introduction

The episode kicks off with the introduction of the guests from Podcast But Outside. Courtney welcomes Kohl, Hirsch, and Andrew, establishing a friendly and humorous rapport among all participants.

Courtney [01:16]: "Oh, well, hello, everybody. Welcome to another Smoshcast."

Podcast But Outside: Concept and Experiences

Explaining the Podcast

Kohl and Hirsch provide an overview of their podcast, explaining how they set up tables on sidewalks in various locations to interview passersby, offering a fresh and spontaneous take on podcasting.

Kohl [02:52]: "Yeah. So it's called Podcast But Outside. And Cole and I set up a table on the sidewalk at different locations around Los Angeles and the world and interview anyone who walks by."

Memorable Interviews

One standout moment involves an interview with an 80-year-old Jewish woman who reveals that her husband was a secret crack addict—a fact she only discovered after his death. This poignant and humorous story highlights the unpredictability and depth of street interviews.

Shayne [04:35]: "He was a crack addict for decades... And she was like an old Jewish woman in her 80s, like, very funny about it."

Navigating Public Filming and Permits

The podcast team shares their trials and tribulations with obtaining filming permits in stringent locations like Santa Monica and Las Vegas. They discuss clever loopholes they've exploited to continue recording without being shut down.

Kohl [06:21]: "But to be honest, we've recorded like 22 episodes so far and we've never been like fully kicked out and shut down."

Vegas Antics

A particularly funny anecdote involves their experience in Las Vegas, where they had to carry all their equipment and hide their mics to comply with local regulations, resulting in unexpected on-the-spot entertainment.

Shayne [07:51]: "I did, like, my pee pee, Cole's pee pee. I kind of just did it all."

Phobias and the Power of Hypnotism

Ian’s Hypnosis Experience

Shayne shares a personal story about overcoming his fear of flying through a single session with a hypnotherapist, emphasizing the scientific approach taken to decouple his innate fear response from the act of flying.

Shayne [13:01]: "She basically just decoupled the relationship between that fear and airplanes, so they're no longer connected."

Exploring Specific Phobias

The conversation delves into specific phobias, introducing terms like thalassophobia (fear of deep water) and omphalophobia (fear of belly button reopening), adding an educational twist to the discussion.

Andrew [16:28]: "I have this, like, actual fear that my belly button's gonna be reopened... Omphalophobia."

Rejected Smosh Jokes and Creative Processes

Cole’s Rejected Joke

Cole presents a rejected Smosh joke involving a humorous but inappropriate take on unexpected pregnancy, highlighting the creative vetting process behind Smosh's content.

Cole [50:53]: "Did you use a condom? Yep. Used it correctly and everything... dropped it on her head."

Screen Capturing and Cold Reading

The team shares behind-the-scenes insights into how rejected content sometimes surfaces in unexpected ways, such as finding old scripts and sharing them for a good laugh.

Cole [50:33]: "It's a rejected Smosh sketch that you had written? Yes."

Dating App Adventures and Social Dynamics

Courtney’s Experience on Raya

Courtney narrates her amusing encounter on the exclusive dating app Raya, where her sister overlooked a potential match due to a strict height requirement, sparking a humorous debate about dating app preferences.

Andrew [36:30]: "I came across Courtney's sister's profile, but she never saw him because of the height minimum."

Height Preferences and App Mechanics

The discussion extends to broader topics like how dating apps enforce specific preferences and the impact of these filters on forming connections.

Courtney [36:57]: "All of them. Really? Well, you can set a preference."

Office Antics and Leadership Challenges

Defy Leadership

The team recounts their interactions with a challenging boss during monthly All Hands meetings, where Cole accidentally undermined authority by humorously rephrasing presentation points, leading to a tense yet funny situation.

Kohl [74:05]: "I just reread the headline and reworded it, and everyone was laughing more."

Accidental Sabotage

Andrew shares an incident where his sarcastic remark about weekend plans unintentionally embarrassed their boss, showcasing the fine line between humor and professionalism in the workplace.

Andrew [75:34]: "I said, we're all gonna stare at a wall the whole weekend... and it actually came out."

Podcast Virality and Unique Content

Giraffe-Spinning Video

Shayne describes how a viral video of a man spinning a giraffe sculpture in his convertible led to an impromptu and highly successful podcast episode, illustrating the unpredictable nature of online fame.

Shayne [30:37]: "I filmed this guy spinning a giraffe in his Mustang convertible... it got like 5 million views."

Closing Remarks and Future Plans

As the episode concludes, the hosts and guests reflect on the uniqueness of their podcasting endeavors and discuss potential future projects, including live podcasting events and expanding their audience reach.

Shayne [77:42]: "Check out a newer one because we're doing a lot more with editing and stuff like that."

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This episode of Smosh Mouth offers a rich tapestry of humor, personal stories, and insightful discussions, making it an entertaining listen for both dedicated fans and newcomers alike. From overcoming fears to navigating the hilarious pitfalls of public podcasting, Shayne, Amanda, and their guests deliver an engaging and memorable conversation.

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Notable Quotes:

• Shayne [13:01]: "She basically just decoupled the relationship between that fear and airplanes, so they're no longer connected."
• Kohl [06:21]: "But to be honest, we've recorded like 22 episodes so far and we've never been like fully kicked out and shut down."
• Cole [50:53]: "Did you use a condom? Yep. Used it correctly and everything... dropped it on her head."
• Andrew [36:30]: "I came across Courtney's sister's profile, but she never saw him because of the height minimum."

Transcript

[Ian]

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[Cole]

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[Courtney]

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[Ian]

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[Ian]

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[Cole]

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[Ian]

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[Cole]

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[Ian]

I got hypnotized by a hypnotherapist to get rid of my fear of flying, and it worked.

[Andrew]

I want to figure out what the phobia term is for my fear. I have this, like, actual fear that my belly button's gonna be reopened.

[Courtney]

I did try out a dating app. I came across Courtney's sister's profile.

[Cole]

Wow.

[Andrew]

My sister never saw him because she has a height minimum.

[Courtney]

Is that ridiculous or what? I'm not even that short.

[Ian]

You don't seem short at all.

[Cole]

She dropped the cat off and then left. And then that was like, kind of the last we heard from her.

[Courtney]

Okay. Oh, well, hello, everybody. Welcome to another Smoshcast. We're gonna start it with that cough.

[Andrew]

Oh, okay.

[Courtney]

So today I am joined by Courtney and the lovable fellas from a podcast called Podcast but Outside Kohl, Hirsch and Andrew. I don't know your last name.

[Ian]

Oh, it's Michonne.

[Courtney]

Andrew. Andrew. Michonne.

[Ian]

Yeah. Thank you. Andrew.

[Cole]

Michonne.

[Courtney]

Yeah, I like that last name.

[Cole]

He's thinking of taking on my last name.

[Ian]

Yeah, I might take on his last name.

[Andrew]

Wait, so are you guys gonna get married? So you have his last name?

[Ian]

No, you can just take last names. Yeah, yeah.

[Cole]

He's taking a lot from me and.

[Ian]

I'm gonna take it. And he won't have it anymore. So he'll be.

[Courtney]

Is that how it works?

[Ian]

Yeah, he won't have a last name. I'll just be Andrew Hirsch, and he'll just be Cole.

[Courtney]

Wow. Can I have your old last name?

[Ian]

It does get donated. Kind of like a low income family.

[Cole]

And it will donate if no one wants it, though. It gets put down.

[Ian]

It does get put down. Yeah.

[Andrew]

You don't mind?

[Courtney]

No, I'm good.

[Andrew]

Okay.

[Courtney]

It's pretty unique.

[Andrew]

Mm.

[Cole]

Mm.

[Andrew]

It's the same as a beer.

[Courtney]

What's your middle name? Or is that too private?

[Andrew]

No, everybody knows it's. Ruth.

[Courtney]

Oh, that's right.

[Cole]

Ruth.

[Andrew]

Why did you say that like that? I liked Ruth. You're like, oh, that's right. What is yours? Andrew. That's a stupid name.

[Ian]

Wait a second. Wait, it's actually. You could change your middle name to Light. Then it'd be Light. Miller. It's kind of like Miller Light.

[Courtney]

Ooh, yeah.

[Ian]

Another good idea.

[Cole]

Or L, I G, H, T. Just meaning, like, you're not heavy.

[Andrew]

Yeah, I'm a Light, not heavy.

[Courtney]

So the podcast that you guys do, you've had to explain it to every single person that has ever sat down in your chair, but can you explain it for the 15,000th time?

[Cole]

We'd love to.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Cole]

Yeah. So it's called podcast, but outside.

[Ian]

And Cole and I set up a table on the sidewalk at different locations around Los Angeles and the world and interview anyone who walks by.

[Cole]

Yeah. We have a sign on our table that says, hi. Be a guest on our podcast and we will pay you.

[Ian]

We are the only ethical podcast.

[Cole]

Wait, are we. Sorry, are we getting paid today? Yes.

[Andrew]

A dollar.

[Cole]

Yeah. So we are the only ethical podcast we're on.

[Ian]

Because if you asked us that question, the answer is definitely yes. $1.

[Courtney]

I can't. Honestly, I can't think of any podcasts that actually pay to have their guests on. Now that I think about it.

[Ian]

I know that's what we're changing.

[Courtney]

Yeah, that's good. I think, you know, start a standard here.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Pay your guests a dollar.

[Ian]

It's really all it takes. The difference between $0 and $1 is immense.

[Cole]

It is.

[Courtney]

Did you guys try doing the podcast but outside without.

[Cole]

No, no.

[Ian]

It was always part of it.

[Cole]

Yeah. We've never been evil or corrupt like most corporations.

[Ian]

Yeah. And maybe when we get big enough, we might become corrupt, but for now, we're pretty reasonable.

[Courtney]

Yeah, that is very reasonable.

[Cole]

Thank you.

[Courtney]

What was the reasoning behind the dollar? Was it a sort of like a legal thing? Like, oh, no, we just had too.

[Ian]

Much money and we had to get rid of it.

[Andrew]

It sounds very enticing, the dollar.

[Ian]

Sometimes you just have all this money and it's kind of just annoying, and you just kind of want to be like, get out of here, you know?

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Ian]

So that's what happened. Yeah. But no, the ultimate thing with the podcast is just talking to strangers and hearing their weird stories, and it's folks who would never otherwise be on a podcast. I feel like, you know, podcasts are pretty populated by people in the entertainment industry or creative types, and we're just talking to like, random people who were never planning on doing that. And the stories that we get are, I think, very interesting.

[Courtney]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, I've listened to several of them, and I think the first one that I listened to. Well, the first, like, full one. Cause I've seen the clips, and you guys had the first sort of like the first big blow up. Was the old lady that you guys talked to that was like, oh, yeah, I had a husband, but he died. And you're like, oh, what was the.

[Cole]

We dug deeper to find out. That.

[Andrew]

So cool.

[Courtney]

He was a doctor, but he was also a crack addict.

[Cole]

Yeah. Secret crack addict for, like, decades.

[Ian]

And she didn't know until he died.

[Andrew]

Oh, my goodness.

[Ian]

And she was like an old Jewish woman in her 80s, like, very funny about it. Had a very good sense of humor. And it was a really interesting conversation.

[Courtney]

Was it you called that was like, how did he die? Was it from the crack?

[Cole]

Yeah, yeah. I said, did he die from crack?

[Ian]

And she said, yes, and she laughed.

[Cole]

And then Andrew asked, he's like, how.

[Ian]

Did he get addicted to crack? And then she just has a perfect pause and then says, he started smoking. Was like, so good.

[Andrew]

I love that. And then there was a. Then you guys got like. You evaded being kicked off that park.

[Cole]

Yeah, we evaded. So we found a filming permit loophole. Cause usually you need permits to film in public.

[Courtney]

Yeah. In Santa Monica. You were in Santa Monica. And they're really like. They're assholes about people filming.

[Cole]

Yeah, yeah. But we figured out, I mean, this has been our plan since before we even recorded the first episode.

[Andrew]

Really?

[Cole]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ian]

Like, you're allowed to film something if you're just on the street. You're not allowed to film a production. So our plan was just being like, we don't know that guy. He just started filming us.

[Cole]

Yeah, but we're only recording audio. And you're allowed to do that, I guess.

[Ian]

Exactly. Yeah. So we kind of just tried it. And the security guy was like, okay, good enough for me. And he walked away.

[Cole]

But what you didn't see in that minute clip is that immediately after another security guard comes by, he says, what did that guy say? He said it was cool. And then that guy walked away. It happens twice in a row.

[Courtney]

So I think another loophole then is when one of those guys comes up, you say, oh, well, another guy came before you and said it was okay.

[Ian]

We thought about that. Even if, like, a business tells us to leave, we're just like, oh. We talked to the manager. He said we could Be here. I mean, like, what are they going to say? These are just people being paid to. I don't know.

[Cole]

But we do. I mean, the best filming spots are like. We do search for like abandoned storefronts to film in front of.

[Ian]

Yeah. That way there's just no concern. We can just be there and no one cares. But to be honest, we've recorded like, you know, 22 episodes so far and we've never been like fully kicked out and shut down. We've had to like move slightly, like, you know, 10ft away or something. But we've never like, you can't do this. And we have to like call it.

[Courtney]

Yeah. Cause you guys. Cause you guys also filmed in Vegas where they're very, very particular about. Cause they don't want street performers because that takes away the actual money making things. So you guys had to like the. The laws that you can't have anything on the ground, anything stationary.

[Cole]

We found out this magician who was our guest, he happened. But he happened to be arrested seven times for street performing. And he. So he. So we got shut down and then he advised us this is in what episode? What, 20?

[Ian]

Something like that.

[Cole]

He told us that we had to. As long as we didn't have anything stationary, like no table, nothing touching the ground, no chairs, then we were fine.

[Ian]

So we just like carried all our equipment, put all the mics in our pockets, and it was like very, very sketchy.

[Cole]

Oh my goodness.

[Ian]

But people came by. We had like a ton of guests. There was a whole crowd forming around us. It became like a real show. It was fun.

[Cole]

Andrew flashed everyone.

[Ian]

I did. Yeah. It was pretty cool.

[Courtney]

Nice.

[Ian]

Yeah, it was nice.

[Andrew]

Your pee pee.

[Ian]

I kind of just did it all, you know, my pee pee, Cole's pee pee. I kind of flashed everything. Yeah.

[Cole]

Like I said, he takes a lot from me.

[Ian]

Yeah, exactly.

[Courtney]

Yeah. Vegas must have been very interesting because I don't know if the people at home know, but everybody on the street of Vegas is either drunk, crazy, or a little mix of both.

[Ian]

Yeah, it really is like a no consequences, no rule zone.

[Andrew]

At least at the nightlife. But I mean. Cause I mean, for the daytime, it's a lot of tourists, right? There's a lot of tourists.

[Ian]

Well, that's what we mean, tourists. I mean, at night the tourists are just like. They don't care. They're just like doing whatever.

[Courtney]

I think it's very strange that people take their families to Vegas. It's. It's not.

[Cole]

I went my first time there was. I think I was 10 and I couldn't do anything. I had to be escort. Because we were staying in a casino at the mgm, I had to be escorted. Anytime I entered the hotel, I had to be escorted through the casino.

[Andrew]

You're not allowed on a certain colored carpet.

[Cole]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's, like. There's, like, lanes that you have to stay in. You're not allowed to step, like, out of the lanes within the casino if you're a certain age.

[Courtney]

And did anyone give you one of those, like, booby cards?

[Cole]

Oh, I. Yeah. As a kid, we called the. We called them Yu Gi Ho cards.

[Andrew]

Oh, my God, that's amazing.

[Cole]

And we would. We'd trade them and collect them. Yeah.

[Courtney]

What?

[Ian]

Or hopefully you Pokemon. Pokemon works too.

[Courtney]

What do you mean, we?

[Cole]

Who are you trading?

[Ian]

You and your dad?

[Cole]

Yeah, me and my dad.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Cole]

My mom hated that game.

[Courtney]

Did your dad. Did your dad coin Yugi? No, that was.

[Cole]

I think that was me. I think I was pretty proud of that. But it was me and my brother and then a couple family friends as well.

[Andrew]

Dude, that's awesome. Yeah, that's the best.

[Courtney]

And you were 10 when you did this?

[Cole]

Yeah.

[Ian]

Nice.

[Courtney]

Dude, I'd have been so stoked if I saw a boob when I was 10. I don't think.

[Cole]

Well, they have little stars over the nipples.

[Ian]

Oh, like real life, right?

[Cole]

Yeah, like real life. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew]

Yep. We are planets and our nipples are stars. I feel like when I. When I went to Vegas, the only fun thing I did, because I was, like, 15, and we just did Madame Tussaudsaud's.

[Courtney]

Oh, yeah.

[Cole]

The wax museum.

[Andrew]

The wax museum, yeah. So weird.

[Cole]

I mean. Yeah. The only thing, because we couldn't do anything really, as kids in Vegas, so the way my parents compensated for that was they took us indoor skydiving and we were, like, in a tube.

[Courtney]

Yeah. Like, I feel like the people that work there make it look really awesome and, like, good. And then, like, you get in there and it's. Does it. Does it work? Did you have fun?

[Cole]

Yeah, I thought it was pretty cool.

[Andrew]

Drools coming out of your mouth like crazy.

[Courtney]

Oh, yeah.

[Cole]

I always remembered one thing that's always stuck with me from the tutorial was that, like, the guy, like, before you do it, you have to, like, you know, listen to this dumb spiel to be safe and stuff. But he said we have to have everything out of our pockets. Because one time he was. Because you're on. It's like, below you is just, like, a giant jet.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Cole]

And so, like, he said, you have to have everything out of your pockets. Because one time someone had a loose coin, and it went. It fell, hit the jet, came back up at such a speed that it went through his foot. Whoa.

[Ian]

What?

[Cole]

And so that's what I've always remembered. I don't understand.

[Courtney]

Why would it have. Why would it have fell down and then gone up or.

[Cole]

I guess. I don't. It was. I guess it was off, maybe, and then it came up. I don't know.

[Andrew]

What was it?

[Cole]

It was a coin.

[Andrew]

A coin.

[Ian]

So is the jet blowing air towards you, or is it moving the earth down?

[Cole]

It moves the earth down. Cool.

[Ian]

Yeah, that's cool. I like that.

[Cole]

And you just kind of stay there.

[Andrew]

I thought your eye could have gone in your eye.

[Courtney]

I feel like it didn't. I feel like that didn't happen.

[Cole]

I'm assuming it's just, like, a horror story.

[Andrew]

It's like one of his. He's like, wouldn't that be crazy? He just tells it to kids.

[Cole]

I think he just us to have empty pockets.

[Ian]

And Cole loves his foot. It's like his favorite part of his body. Definitely a big threat.

[Cole]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Cole]

And he knew that.

[Ian]

He knew that.

[Cole]

My parents told him.

[Ian]

Well, it's part of the intake form. It's his favorite part of your body.

[Cole]

I actually heard right before going in, I heard my dad whisper to the guy, threaten his feet.

[Ian]

Yeah, he says that to, like, everyone. He said it to me.

[Cole]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

That's pretty typical.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

You did the indoor skydiving thing too, right?

[Andrew]

Yeah, we did it for squad vlog. That was, like, one of our first squad vlogs ever. And, yeah, my teeth are just getting dry and drools coming out the sides.

[Cole]

Have you done axis skydiving?

[Andrew]

No, that was the only time I've ever done anything like that.

[Ian]

But you did it, right?

[Cole]

I did it, yeah.

[Ian]

Is it the same?

[Cole]

Yeah, it's the same, but it's, like, outside.

[Andrew]

Oh, wait, that sounds good.

[Ian]

Sounds better.

[Cole]

Skydiving, but outside.

[Ian]

That's great.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Wow. Holy smokes.

[Cole]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Any interest in skydiving?

[Ian]

I want to. Yeah. I just haven't. I don't like planes, so that's actually the scariest part for me is just being on this old plane.

[Courtney]

Cause you said. Cause I saw in one of the podcasts about outsides, you said you were hypnotized.

[Cole]

Oh, you are a listener.

[Ian]

Oh, I love that. Thank you, Ian.

[Courtney]

You know, I tried to do my research.

[Ian]

I got hypnotized. Yeah. By a hypnotherapist to get rid of My fear of flying. And it worked.

[Courtney]

Wow, that's wild.

[Ian]

It's crazy. Yeah, it straight up worked. I did it like two years ago.

[Courtney]

And it was just one session.

[Ian]

One session. It was like a three hour session. And then she makes you an audio tape that you then listen to. She says every night for like a few months. So I listen to it every night and then I don't listen to it anymore. But when I get on a plane, I will listen to it. And I'm just not straight up, not afraid of flirting anymore.

[Cole]

But doesn't the fact that, you know you're hypnotized about it, like, that's the thing?

[Ian]

No, she actually says that. She says in like the first few months, don't talk about being hypnotized. Don't tell your friends. Don't really think about it, like at first because you kind of have to let it set in. But now that it's been a while and it just totally worked, I don't. I think it's okay.

[Andrew]

Yeah, I feel like I can't. I don't think I can be hypnotized. I don't know. I feel like I'm just too neurotic.

[Courtney]

Well, that's.

[Cole]

You're too smart for that shit.

[Andrew]

Like, my brain, I'm just like too self aware. My brain's too. It's evolved.

[Ian]

Well, it's. I'm like not into like astrology or any of these kind of. I don't know, like, I'm not into that world very much. And I feel like hypnotism is a little different. Like, she explained it to me very thoroughly in terms of scientific terms. It's basically just like your brain has this like fear thing that was designed to like, make us afraid of, you know, lions or whatever sort of threats passed, you know, in, you know, thousands of years ago, but then now, or even millions of years ago, but then now that same fear complex is being ascribed to things that it shouldn't be. Like a plane isn't. I mean, it is weird, obviously, but statistically it's not unsafe. But I've created this relationship in my brain between that fear drive and an airplane. And she's basically just decoupling that relationship so they're no longer connected.

[Courtney]

Whoa, that's awesome.

[Ian]

Yeah, so she's very scientific about it. And so it actually, like, I don't know, I was very skeptical and it totally worked.

[Andrew]

Would that work for something like fear of commitment?

[Ian]

Yes, it works for everything. Honestly, like, if you have like body image issues, you're trying to quit smoking. Like, anything. It's really crazy.

[Cole]

So she can make me hot?

[Ian]

Yeah, she will make you hot.

[Andrew]

Or at least believe that you're hot, which is kind of nice.

[Cole]

Oh, wait.

[Courtney]

It's like that one movie, right?

[Ian]

Yeah. Shallow Hell.

[Cole]

Yeah. Shallow Hell.

[Ian]

You know what you should do, Cole? You should ask a girl out. She'll say no, and then you say, go to this hypnotist, and she'll convince her that you're hot.

[Cole]

Yeah, Cole's hot. Yeah, that's a good idea. Or just convince me that she said yes.

[Ian]

Yeah. Or you should, like, I don't know, pitch a TV show or something and get it picked up. And in the first episode, you do a bait and switch, and it's actually just the hypnotist convincing the world that you're hot.

[Andrew]

Oh, my gosh.

[Ian]

That's a good idea.

[Andrew]

Yes.

[Cole]

I like that. Sometimes he gives Andy takes, but sometimes.

[Ian]

Anyway, the hypnotism worked. If you guys want her name, I can give it to you.

[Andrew]

Well, yeah. What would you get hypnotized for, Ian?

[Courtney]

I don't. Yeah. Cause, like, flying, I'm like. I'm okay on, except for, like, when the turbulence hits, and I'm like.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

What's your fear?

[Courtney]

I mean. Oh, well, I don't, like. Like, I'm weird about, like, deep water stuff. Like, deep, open water where I can't see the bottom or I see something below me, but I can't see what it is. Clearly. Yeah. I'm not about that life. I forget what they call it. There's, you know, one of those, like, BuzzFeed lists where they're like, if you. If this makes you feel weird, you have this fear. Yeah. They had all these photos of, like, whales, like, deep underwater, like, where you can't, like, quite see them. And it kind of made me go, like, ugh. Or like, oil rigs, they have these, like, stands that go, like, deep into.

[Cole]

The water, just seem to disappear.

[Courtney]

And that makes me feel, like, icky. I don't know.

[Ian]

It's thalassophobia.

[Courtney]

Thalassophobia.

[Andrew]

Thalassophobia. I wanna figure out what the phobia term is for my fear, which is I have this, like, actual fear that my belly button's gonna be reopened. Like, something's gonna open it up, and I'm just, like, so terrified that, like, it will be reopened.

[Cole]

Whoa.

[Courtney]

Do you think the hypnotist can cure that?

[Cole]

Can you help me?

[Ian]

She might just say, you're a freak and tell you to walk Away. But no, she just laughs. She'd take your money.

[Courtney]

She sends you a recording of her just laughing at you. It's like you' Yum. Courtney, that is called omphalophobia.

[Andrew]

What? Ompholophobia. I have that.

[Ian]

That's your new identity.

[Andrew]

I didn't know that there was a phobia for it.

[Ryan]

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[Cole]

Sponsored by Chumba Casino. No purchase necessary. VGW Group void where prohibited by law. 21 plus terms and conditions apply. Yeah, I had this idea for like a. It's like a device. It's called unbreakable. Um, breakable. And it's. It's like it's an umbilical cord that you reattach to your mother.

[Courtney]

Okay.

[Andrew]

Unbreakable.

[Cole]

Yeah, it's like the bond that was never meant to be broken.

[Ian]

That's nice.

[Cole]

Yeah.

[Ian]

And do you do that all the time or just like when you go home for a week?

[Cole]

I haven't made it yet. I need a prototype, but I think it would be smart to just.

[Ian]

But is it temp? Like, what I'm saying is you go.

[Cole]

Home, visit your mom, it's permanent.

[Ian]

Okay. Permanent. Okay.

[Courtney]

Does it actually do anything?

[Cole]

Well, yeah, it reattaches you to your mother.

[Ian]

Are fluids connected, though?

[Courtney]

That's what I'm asking.

[Ian]

Yeah, exactly. Like if she gets drunk. Yeah, if mommy eats or gets drunk. Do you get a little drunk?

[Cole]

You get a little tip.

[Courtney]

Okay.

[Andrew]

Does it come with custom clothes?

[Cole]

No.

[Ian]

So it's just Nick, it's naked.

[Cole]

Well, this was in part to push my clothing brand, which is just a line of shirts with a hole in the center.

[Ian]

Well, it'd be cool if it's two shirts that are connected with cloth in the middle. Like you buy the two shirts together. So it's a little mommy sonny kind of set up.

[Courtney]

I hate to tell you. It wouldn't be a shirt for the mother. It'd be pants. Right? I mean. Cause it's gotta come from the.

[Andrew]

Oh, yeah. We don't connect at the Belly button. It goes up in her womb.

[Ian]

I didn't think about that.

[Courtney]

Do we all know. Do we all need to go back to sixth grade sex ed?

[Ian]

Did you think about that?

[Cole]

It goes. I did.

[Andrew]

Oh, my God.

[Ian]

That's funny that we both just assumed that it would be belly button. To belly button. Nope.

[Courtney]

No, sorry.

[Ian]

Goes into her butt. Yeah.

[Courtney]

Yep. Into the butt.

[Andrew]

No.

[Ian]

That's funny. I like this. Yeah. The idea is a little more sexual now, though, in a way that I'm not sure I'm comfortable with.

[Cole]

No, it's pure. Okay.

[Courtney]

And is there an age limit to this?

[Cole]

No.

[Courtney]

Or your mom could be, like, 70.

[Cole]

She could be 40. She could be, you know, 41. I don't know how it's. Okay.

[Ian]

So she's one year older than you.

[Cole]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Can you do it with people that are not your mom?

[Cole]

Sure. Ooh. I mean, it's not recommended.

[Andrew]

Why?

[Cole]

That's weird.

[Andrew]

That's weird.

[Courtney]

He's right.

[Ian]

I know. There are people who have, like, baby fed it. Like, they want to be treated like a baby. You might have just given them, like, a really good idea. That's gonna blow up in that world.

[Courtney]

Yeah. I went to school with somebody that. They became a man baby.

[Ian]

They still do it now.

[Courtney]

Well, I don't know about not man baby. They became. Yeah, they went in. They became a baby.

[Andrew]

They were on that documentary, right?

[Courtney]

Yeah, they were on a show.

[Andrew]

Strange Addiction.

[Courtney]

I don't want to out them too much, but.

[Andrew]

Well, it's just.

[Ian]

They're on tv. I mean, come on. They're out.

[Courtney]

Yeah. I went to high school with them, and then. Yeah. They were on the show where they were a baby.

[Andrew]

They liked having the diaper and stuff, right?

[Courtney]

Yeah. They also had a website, too.

[Andrew]

Nice.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Cole]

And a website that does what?

[Courtney]

Baby stuff.

[Andrew]

You know, I don't like that.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

I mean, it's not my thing, but, you know, for the people out there that like it, you know, do your thing.

[Cole]

Yeah. Check out Squarespace. You can easily design your own.

[Ian]

Do they have a romantic partner?

[Courtney]

I would.

[Andrew]

I mean, I think in the documentary he did.

[Cole]

Mmm.

[Courtney]

I don't know.

[Ian]

Cause I just feel like that's such a. I mean, how are you gonna find someone to match with if, like. I mean, it's gotta be a very specific.

[Courtney]

The Internet's a wide, wonderful place.

[Ian]

Yeah, I guess so.

[Andrew]

I think he had someone come in and change his diaper in that talk. Yeah, I remember that episode. Was it dirty or was the diaper dirty? I think it was wet.

[Courtney]

That's probably for the website only. Content.

[Andrew]

Yeah. They probably have a Patreon.

[Cole]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

I mean, honestly, Patreon would be the way to go if you're trying to get into man baby content. Patreon.

[Ian]

Your whole Patreon is just like, I am baby. It's like really poorly written.

[Cole]

It's a really poorly put together site.

[Andrew]

You can buy his baby bath water.

[Cole]

Oh, no, just his baby diapers.

[Courtney]

See, now you're just giving them an idea.

[Ian]

The whole bathwater thing. Like, I bought so much of that and I'm not even convinced that it was her bathwater. It's like, I just have these bottles of water now and I feel like such. I got so ripped off.

[Courtney]

Well, I heard somebody DNA testing the bath water.

[Ian]

Really?

[Courtney]

And they're like. They're like. Well, technically it should have some of their DNA in it because if you take a bath, like, you know, your skin, dead skin.

[Cole]

No, I didn't taste any.

[Ian]

Yeah, because he's been drinking. It comes over.

[Courtney]

Well, they claim that there was zero DNA in it, so she might be liable for like a class action lawsuit or something.

[Cole]

I love that.

[Courtney]

I don't know.

[Cole]

Wow.

[Andrew]

If I were to sell my bath water, I wouldn't. It wouldn't be actually my DNA. Cause I just like, don't need to be cloned right now. But like, I definitely, like, put in some stuff, like couple drops of like rose or something.

[Ian]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew]

So it like smells like something. So they're like, oh, this isn't just regular water.

[Courtney]

I would like rent a pig and put it in and put it in the bath. So like, if they DNA test it, they're like, it came back pig.

[Ian]

There's just like this mythology around you.

[Cole]

And then you sue them for like, slander. Yeah.

[Andrew]

How dare you?

[Courtney]

Yeah. Wow. Fat shaming. So, Cole, I mean, it's kind of funny we haven't mentioned this yet, but. Cole, you used to write for us.

[Cole]

Oh, that's right.

[Andrew]

That is how we know you. Or at least how you two know each other.

[Courtney]

Yeah. How did. How did that happen?

[Cole]

How did that happen? I think that happened through because I knew Anthony and Miel a little bit. Yeah, right. And I think.

[Courtney]

And we were looking for.

[Cole]

You guys were looking for a writer. And I think Anthony pitched you guys to me.

[Courtney]

Yeah. Because you came from the vine world, right?

[Cole]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I came in, had a little. I don't know, I guess it was a test. I didn't know it then, but it was a test.

[Andrew]

It's all test.

[Courtney]

Was it a writing test? Or was it a test?

[Cole]

No, I think it was just like. I think it was sort of just kind of a chemistry vibe. Maybe. I'm not sure. Either that or just maybe a writing style. I don't know.

[Courtney]

Do you pass the chemistry?

[Cole]

I guess, yeah. I think immediately after getting hired, they regretted it for a brief term.

[Andrew]

Wasn't one of the tests like we did a read through with one of your scripts or something?

[Cole]

Yeah, well, it was just a pitch meeting. I just pitched a bunch of ideas.

[Courtney]

Okay.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah, that was pretty much my process too.

[Cole]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Just pitching ideas.

[Cole]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

I mean, you wrote with us for, I mean, probably like a year and a half. A year and a half? Yeah.

[Cole]

A year and a few months. Yeah.

[Courtney]

Yeah. That's a pretty long time.

[Cole]

It was.

[Andrew]

I love seeing my world collide when that became a thing because that's.

[Ian]

That's.

[Andrew]

I met you from vine, hung out with you a few times. Miel and I used to be, like really close friends, like just grow apart. That was wild. You were.

[Courtney]

So you guys knew each other before he came on to Smosh?

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah, like a few years. Like 2013. No.

[Cole]

Yeah, probably 2014. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew]

You like? We texted briefly.

[Cole]

Yeah. Oh, we did.

[Andrew]

Yeah. It was very brief.

[Courtney]

Who was first? Who slid in?

[Andrew]

I don't know. Well. Cause we probably were vine messaging first.

[Cole]

Probably.

[Andrew]

That's usually how it went when Viners like, first, like, yo, you're dope. Yo, you're dope. And then.

[Cole]

Yeah, but with us it was strictly hate mail.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Okay.

[Cole]

It was like, please quit.

[Courtney]

Split in. You slid in the DMs with the hate.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah. I was like, you're a yugi ho.

[Courtney]

W. I called her a ho.

[Cole]

Come on.

[Courtney]

Yeah, yeah. Do you miss vine at all?

[Cole]

Yeah, I miss it, but I mean, I have it again.

[Andrew]

Yeah, you're on TikTok now.

[Cole]

Your stuff's funny, but no, it's very different. But yeah, I mean, I was running, you know, three years straight of one liners. You can only do so much, right? My tank was empty pretty much by the time it died.

[Courtney]

I mean, I think. Yeah, that sounds about right. I mean, with. I feel like, you know, people figured out the format and then obviously some people exploited the format. I mean, but that's what always happens. So. Okay, so you guys knew each other for a couple years then.

[Andrew]

Yeah, like, we didn't like, hang out a whole lot. Like we would see each other, like, parties and stuff because I also didn't live here. Yeah. Yeah. You were East Coast.

[Cole]

Yeah, I was in Chicago. But right when I moved here, I pretty much got the job within the first few months of being here, so. Good.

[Courtney]

Wow. White privilege.

[Cole]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Vine privilege, probably.

[Cole]

I was not good at first writing. Ryan's laughing.

[Ian]

He was bad.

[Cole]

Ryan was the head writer. He was my boss. I don't know. He gave me so many second chances. I was not good.

[Ian]

What were you messing up on?

[Andrew]

Yes, you were.

[Cole]

No, I was just. Well, I wasn't. There's like, I'd check out real hard, like, in meetings. Yeah. Well, I realized it was anxiety. I just get so overwhelmed about wanting to do good that I would, like, be in my head. I'm like, pay attention, pay attention. And then I wouldn't pay attention. And then I just get caught up in this loop of.

[Ian]

I mean, you do that on our podcast a lot. Yeah, I totally get that.

[Cole]

I check out for, you know, hours at a time. Our podcast is only an hour long.

[Ian]

It's totally an hour.

[Cole]

Sometimes I say nothing, so I don't know why I was given so many second chances.

[Courtney]

I think it's probably because you're funny. That's kind of thing. Like.

[Ian]

Or the white privilege thing, maybe. It could be that, but I don't know.

[Cole]

If you're not productive in a work setting, then you shouldn't be working. But I don't know, I did get a lot better towards the end. I got more comfortable. We made your first sketch. Yeah.

[Courtney]

That you came in and pitched us.

[Cole]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Like in a month or something.

[Andrew]

Which one was it? What sketch was it where it was so funny?

[Ian]

It was the one.

[Courtney]

The fall asleep one.

[Ian]

And then the whole.

[Courtney]

His whole life happens.

[Cole]

Oh, the prank one.

[Courtney]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Cole]

We're like.

[Courtney]

Yeah, it was. It was. It was a sketch where Anthony was sleeping. Sleeping. And then.

[Andrew]

Oh, yeah.

[Cole]

It's like, just like, oh, my roommate's sleeping. I'm gonna prank him. And then you do a bunch of stuff and put him in a bunch of, like, you, like, you. You secretly, like, make him get a job and then get married and then have kids, and then, like, his whole life, then he's old, and then, like, he wakes up, like, on his deathbed.

[Andrew]

And you're still young.

[Cole]

I, like, I think he. I think he wins, like, two purple hearts in the war or something like that.

[Courtney]

Yeah, yeah, he goes to war.

[Andrew]

I love.

[Cole]

Yeah, the video bombed. I don't think it did.

[Andrew]

Well, all of our favorites do, I feel.

[Courtney]

Yeah, yeah, that tends to be the case. Like, whenever we really like a sketch, it never does well.

[Cole]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

So, like, we. We always Call them like it's a one for us kind of thing.

[Cole]

It's how much of anything though? Like everyone hates our podcast, but we love it.

[Ian]

I know, my mom likes it.

[Courtney]

Yeah, that's good.

[Andrew]

You guys ever had guests that are like. Or anything happen where it's like, this is too much like we have to cut?

[Cole]

Yeah, I mean, no, not.

[Ian]

There's a couple things where it just gets like political in a way where we're kind of just like, I don't know, talking about Mexicans and stuff and we're just like, well, we'll just cut this part. Not even in a bad way, but just kind of like we don't want to go down this road.

[Cole]

Sometimes we just can't stop ourselves.

[Ian]

Yeah, I know, but we just. Exactly. We just kind of have opinions.

[Cole]

No, some of the. It's usually older white men who bring up.

[Andrew]

It just always comes up.

[Ian]

It just has happened a few times where it's like slightly trumpy, but in a way that's just kinda like, I don't wanna open this can of worms. Not that we're trying to stifle people's opinions, but you know, talking about Mexicans work ethic and stuff and we're just like, we don't wanna go down this road. Wow. Not even in a bad way. Like he was actually complimenting the Mexican community, but it just was icky.

[Cole]

Yeah, I get that.

[Courtney]

And is it just out of the blue they're like, what's this podcast about? You can talk about anything. He's like, great. Well, anyway, onto Mexicans pretty much.

[Andrew]

He probably thought it was a safe space. He's like, ah, us whites can talk about this.

[Cole]

No, this, this dude was hard to wrangle, but we eventually got him.

[Ian]

Yeah, but no, for the most part, I mean, yeah, people like the most interesting thing about it to us is it's like you talk to someone for like 60 seconds and you kind of get a vibe. Like you get their vibe, you know, like you get their essence. And that's just kind of fun to just like, I don't know, like figure out what someone's personality is in a really short amount of time.

[Courtney]

Didn't like two guys threaten to like sue you guys or something or was that a joke?

[Cole]

Oh, I mean, I feel like they will. It's just there was these two frat bros just love that. And it was what, like 3pm on a Monday or wasted.

[Courtney]

It was that downtown, downtown in the.

[Ian]

Jewelry and they were like cat calling every, like every single girl that walked by he would just go, look at her butt.

[Courtney]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Ian]

It was crazy.

[Cole]

And so we just. We couldn't get them to leave. We had to turn off their mics.

[Andrew]

Is that all in it in the episode?

[Ian]

Yeah, yeah, the camera, like dancing and stuff.

[Cole]

They wouldn't. They were harassing our cameraman. We're like, just don't pay attention to him. Like, just talk to us.

[Ian]

That's the only time that something like that has happened. For the most part, people are very chill and responsible and nice.

[Andrew]

I think that's awesome though, that, like, you guys get to show that side of the world and it's just. All just happening and not, like, planned.

[Ian]

Yeah, I mean, we've had some really crazy stuff happen and it's totally not planned.

[Andrew]

I need to watch.

[Ian]

Check out the clips. Go to Instagram or Twitter. There's like one minute clips. It's an easy way to see some best.

[Cole]

Or just. No, you should watch the whole episode.

[Ian]

Okay. Watch it.

[Andrew]

Yeah, no, I definitely wanna watch the whole episode. I actually saw the one where the cop was like, oh, you guys are fine, you're good. I saw that, like, it went. Did it go like, viral? Okay. I definitely saw it. And, like, there's like the Daily Dose of Internet Channel.

[Ian]

Oh, yeah, we were on there.

[Cole]

Yeah. Oh, wait, have you. Did you guys see the giraffe man? Did you see the viral giraffe video of the guy spinning a giraffe in his car on Twitter at all? No.

[Ian]

Okay, well, I tweeted, I did this video. I just.

[Cole]

He filmed this video.

[Ian]

I filmed this video of this guy spinning a giraffe.

[Cole]

It went viral.

[Ian]

It got like 5 million views or something on Twitter. Like, it went really viral. And then that guy reached out to me and then we interviewed him on our podcast and, like, got a little bit of. It was kind of fun. It was a cool little moment.

[Cole]

We did a special, like, 20 minute episode.

[Ian]

It all happened in like 48 hours.

[Cole]

Yeah.

[Ian]

From the time I posted it to it going viral, to us interviewing him, to the interview going live. It was like very quick.

[Cole]

And he was the first, like, we were the first people to interview him. And like, by that time, like that day, this was like, it was the first day of him being viral. This was last week. He had already been recognized like three times that day. What?

[Courtney]

He's just spinning a giraffe in his.

[Ian]

Car in his convertible. He's spinning a metal giraffe and then he'll place the giraffe on the hood of the car at the stoplight. And then he'll drive really fast and the giraffe will fall and he'll catch it in a really cool way.

[Cole]

What?

[Ian]

Just look at my Twitter. It's there.

[Cole]

It kind of sounds like a dream when you're explaining it, but it was.

[Ian]

Really bizarre because I was like on the phone with my mom and I was like, I just saw this guy spinning this metal giraffe in his Mustang convertible. And I was like, this is so weird. And I was like, mom, I have to go. I just followed him for like 10 minutes and filmed it from all these different angles and just cut it together.

[Andrew]

Into a 40 second clip.

[Ian]

Yeah, but. But now I get tweeted at every day with videos of him because he's around Hollywood doing it. And every day someone will tweet, respond to my tweet with a video of him. Like, saw him on Melrose or whatever, Spy.

[Courtney]

And you. You invited him on the podcast or he just like walked by?

[Ian]

No, he DMed me and was like, hey, that's me. And I was like, oh, you want to do our podcast? Like, it might be fun to kind of chat with you a little bit. He ended up being a very cool guy. And it was a fun little. It was like a. You know, the Internet is obviously can be a very toxic place. But this was like, everyone responded to this video because it was like positive and fun.

[Courtney]

It was wholesome.

[Ian]

Yeah, wholesome. And then we had an interview with him and he was a nice, cool guy, so.

[Courtney]

And then he's like, I want to talk about Mexico. Yes, exactly. Yeah. You never know with like, random people that are like, eccentric like that. Oh, let's hear about it. And then you're like, oh, he was not eccentric.

[Ian]

He was pretty normal, very cool.

[Courtney]

And so he just loves to spin. Giraffe.

[Ian]

That's what he does.

[Cole]

Giraffe.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

You guys have had some pretty, like, random, like, run ins on the show, right? Like you.

[Cole]

Oh, yeah.

[Courtney]

There was like a girl that you had dated that.

[Cole]

Yeah, well, a girl. Yeah, a girl that I had literally date. Like, we had gone on like a couple dates.

[Ian]

Best nights of their life, though.

[Cole]

Best nights of their life.

[Ian]

Both of them. Yeah, both of them.

[Cole]

Yeah. So I did an episode. We did an episode where I was blindfolded the whole time because I wanted to experience the podcast as a listener. Cause I felt a little. I had a little sight privilege.

[Ian]

Cause like yours, we're on YouTube and podcast.

[Cole]

Yeah, nice. Yeah. So I wanted to just, you know, I felt some sight privilege, so I wanted to blindfold Myself. So I did it all blindfold and she came up to me. She was like, I know you.

[Ian]

And then when I was like, oh, let's play a game and have Cole guess who it is. So then she sat down and, like, answered some questions and Cole.

[Cole]

And like, we hadn't. We hadn't dated. It was like, for a long time.

[Courtney]

How did she recognize you? Because you had a giant blindfold over your face.

[Cole]

I had my glasses over the blindfold.

[Ian]

So she looked like him.

[Cole]

So I guess she just knew my hair and my face.

[Courtney]

Had she been following you the whole time?

[Cole]

No, she didn't know what the podcast was.

[Ian]

She just saw they had unfollowed each other on social media.

[Andrew]

Yeah, that's what I was gonna ask. Did the two dates, like, did it end poorly? Did you go to her?

[Cole]

No, no, no, no. We just. When we started talking, we were both out of our relationship. And then when we. And then we just went. We just went into our own different relationships after that.

[Courtney]

But you had a good time talking?

[Cole]

Yeah, it was fun. She was really cool.

[Courtney]

Did you guys refollow each other on social media?

[Cole]

We did, yeah.

[Andrew]

Nice.

[Ian]

I'm even in there now following you.

[Courtney]

Oh, really?

[Ian]

I'm. Yeah, we're gonna do like a three way texture.

[Cole]

He tried to weasel.

[Ian]

Yeah, she followed me first and I was like, you know what?

[Courtney]

Oh, I gotta be nice to this person.

[Ian]

Okay.

[Ryan]

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[Cole]

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[Courtney]

So where's that going?

[Andrew]

We talk a lot about dating on this podcast about, like our dating lives.

[Ian]

Oh, what's up with you guys? I'm sure you talked about it a lot on here.

[Andrew]

I'm a career woman, okay? I don't have time for love.

[Cole]

Got it. I'm career woman as well.

[Courtney]

Singling but mingling.

[Andrew]

Yeah, he's following leads. That's what we call them.

[Courtney]

Yeah, yeah, I refer to as following leads.

[Cole]

Cool.

[Andrew]

Following leads to eventually slaying dong. Is that. Is that goal slang?

[Cole]

Dong. So he slings dong and you slay dong. I slay dong.

[Ian]

Oh, that's cool.

[Cole]

Yes.

[Andrew]

I slay dong and you slang. Slang and dong.

[Ian]

Yeah, that's cool.

[Courtney]

I like that.

[Cole]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Yeah. So, yeah, falling a strong lead.

[Ian]

Oh, you got one.

[Courtney]

A suspect.

[Ian]

You got one suspect right now.

[Courtney]

One suspect.

[Cole]

Is it Courtney?

[Andrew]

No, but he was after my sister for a bit.

[Ian]

Really?

[Courtney]

No, no, no. I mean, look, look, I'm following this suspect. I'm following the lead. I know that the end game is that I will be marrying Courtney's sister.

[Andrew]

No way. That's good.

[Ian]

But it's gonna make her jealous.

[Courtney]

Gosh, it's been so long since we've just had a normal podcast. So much has happened.

[Andrew]

I know, dude.

[Courtney]

I won't get all the way into it because I feel like I gotta save it for a more normal podcast.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Cause this is.

[Cole]

Oh, are we. Are we not normal? Yeah.

[Andrew]

Fuck this.

[Ian]

We're weirdos.

[Courtney]

I wanna. You know, I want to. I wanna give you guys the proper attention that you deserve.

[Cole]

Thank you. I.

[Courtney]

But I did try out a dating app.

[Cole]

Oh.

[Courtney]

And on the first day.

[Cole]

Raya.

[Andrew]

Swipe right, ladies.

[Courtney]

On the first. On the first day, I came across Courtney's sister's profile.

[Ian]

Wow.

[Cole]

Wow.

[Andrew]

You guys wanna know what happened to that?

[Ian]

What?

[Andrew]

Apparently, my sister never saw him because she has a height minimum.

[Ian]

What?

[Courtney]

Is that ridiculous or what? I'm not even that short.

[Ian]

You don't seem short at all.

[Cole]

No.

[Andrew]

How tall are you?

[Courtney]

Five inches.

[Ian]

Oh, you are very, very short.

[Andrew]

You're not five eight. You're five eight. I'm five six. I feel like you're taller than me. We're same height.

[Ian]

Five eight is taller than five six. I gotta say.

[Andrew]

No, but, like, even more, I feel like you're like, five nine.

[Courtney]

I usually wear heels.

[Ian]

Oh, yeah. Wait, what is the height? What app has a height minimum?

[Courtney]

All of them. Really? Well, you can set. You can set a preference.

[Andrew]

There's the option too.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Ian]

I'm on a dating app. I don't even think I ever put in my height.

[Courtney]

Yeah, you can go into, like, special preferences.

[Cole]

What app is this?

[Courtney]

I mean, I don't want to say.

[Cole]

It because I don't want people to Raya.

[Andrew]

Shame the app.

[Courtney]

I tried to get into Raya, but I didn't have any wrecks, so really.

[Cole]

I'll be a wreck.

[Ian]

Can we get you in?

[Cole]

It's too late. I'm already in.

[Courtney]

It's too late.

[Andrew]

I just did a. I had it for a bit, but I was like, I can't.

[Ian]

It's silly. I have. I made one really funny joke on My Raya profile that I'm pretty excited about.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Ian]

So on Raya, you have to choose a song.

[Courtney]

So for those that don't know, Raya is like a. It's like an exclusive.

[Ian]

They call it a dating app for, like, celebrities, but it's high profile. It's truly not anym. It's like, anyone can get in. I don't understand what happened with you, but. No, but it really is, like, it's all just like, yoga teachers and stuff now. Like, it's not. I think it used to be years ago. Used to be more famous person. I'm not famous at all. And I got on, so I don't think it's like that anymore. But you have to choose a song for your profile, which is, like, very cheesy.

[Courtney]

So you push space.

[Ian]

Yeah. You push a button, and all your pictures play in a slideshow, and you have to choose a song through Spotify. Like, they make you do it. But I was thinking. I'm like. Well, I couldn't think of a song because it's just, like, so cheesy to pick a song to profile your life or whatever. But I know that Spotify has podcasts, so when you click on my profile, it plays the Dane Cook episode of WTF with Marc Maron.

[Cole]

What?

[Ian]

But it's like, just the intro, so it's just Mark, like, talking about his cats in Highland Park. It's so funny. It just, like, plays through and he's just like, I don't know what the fuck's going on, man. So funny.

[Andrew]

Dude, I would have thought you put your own podcast.

[Ian]

I thought about that, but just so funny. No, I love that Marc Maron rambling on.

[Courtney]

Yeah. Well, dude, if I ever get on Raya, I'm still waiting for them to accept my application, and I don't think it's really worth it.

[Cole]

I haven't used it. I've never used it.

[Courtney]

Really?

[Cole]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

The song I would do is El Sony Dito.

[Ian]

Okay.

[Courtney]

Do you think I would get copyright claimed for that? Yeah, that's probably true. Wow, guys. Well, after this podcast, listen to this song called El Sonidito. It's a good time. It's a good party song.

[Andrew]

It's the theme song that we had when we were filming a lot of Smosh Summer games stuff.

[Courtney]

Yeah. It gets you hyped. So Raya's not worth it. Good to know.

[Ian]

Yeah, it's fine. I'll do dating apps are fine.

[Courtney]

I didn't bother with Tinder. It's just too much of a hookup. App.

[Andrew]

I wouldn't. Yeah, I just. I feel that one in specific, like, not to like. I mean, I'm sorry. I don't have to worry about, like, that. Right. Tinder definitely is just, like, set up your profile and you're on your own. But I guess, like, there's other dating apps that help you a lot more with, like, figuring out what you want and what you want to do and stuff like that.

[Courtney]

Well, I think it's like Tinder is just. They've just garnered this image of themselves being like a hookup app.

[Andrew]

It's like, hot. Or not.

[Cole]

Yeah, it's like Grindr for straight.

[Courtney]

Yes. Well, also, I mean, like, gay people could use Tinder as well, right?

[Ian]

Nope.

[Cole]

No.

[Courtney]

They actually say, like, are you a straight when you download Tinder. Yeah.

[Ian]

It's like, how hot does this image make you? And it shows you, like, opposite gender porn.

[Cole]

Love that. Well, no, it makes you have sex with someone to see.

[Courtney]

To decide after they turn on your.

[Ian]

Camera, they have to show you having straight sex. It's part of the thing.

[Cole]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Instead of the are you a robot? It's are you a straight?

[Courtney]

Have Andrew and Cole. Have you guys used Tinder at all?

[Cole]

I've used it. Yeah.

[Courtney]

Yeah. How is it?

[Cole]

That's how we met.

[Ian]

That's how we met. Yeah.

[Courtney]

Wait a second.

[Ian]

I know. Which is crazy. Cause it's not for gay people, but somehow we met.

[Andrew]

Wow.

[Ian]

No, it's fine. I think your assessment of it is accurate.

[Courtney]

Yeah. What's your favorite dating app?

[Ian]

I mean, I've only used Tinder and Raya and. Yeah. Tinder seems to be for hooking up with people. Raya. I've met a couple people on it and it's been fine.

[Courtney]

Yoga instructors?

[Ian]

Yeah, actually. Yeah.

[Andrew]

Nice. Hey, nice. I've heard Bumble does, like, parties and stuff around all over the place to get people to just meet in group settings.

[Cole]

Oh.

[Ian]

Or they have like a space. I've seen their space.

[Andrew]

Or they'll like, get venues and stuff like that. It's wild.

[Ian]

They just like, message, like, hot people on their app. Like, come to the app and then.

[Andrew]

If you show that you have the app, that you get, like, free drinks.

[Cole]

I never got one of those messages.

[Ian]

Well, I don't know.

[Cole]

I got a hypnotized Bumble.

[Andrew]

Nice.

[Ian]

What's your dating experience been, Cole?

[Cole]

I've only done Tinder. I don't have it. I don't have any of them right now. Just. Cause I don't know.

[Courtney]

Cause you don't need it. Cause from And I don't want to out you too much, Cole, but from what we've gathered, Cole slangs dong.

[Ian]

Wow.

[Courtney]

Do I Cole, like, he's very unassuming, but it's Cole slangs.

[Andrew]

Cole's got big slang dong energy.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Cole]

Wow. I wouldn't have pegged myself for that. Or ever.

[Ian]

Or ever.

[Courtney]

Yeah, that's the energy.

[Ian]

That's cool. This unassuming dong slinger.

[Courtney]

That's why a girl walks down the street, sees half your face, and knows exactly who you are. Yeah. Because she remembers.

[Cole]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

I don't want to ask. It's too private.

[Cole]

I was gonna say, did you guys kiss me and. No, we didn't. It was literally the most platonic.

[Courtney]

You guys got ice cream, right?

[Cole]

We got. Yeah. We got froyo. Oh, yeah.

[Courtney]

Like, not even real ice cream.

[Cole]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Wow, you really sent a message there. Do you want to get some, like, kid ice cream? Yeah, that's froyo.

[Cole]

Yeah, that's froyo.

[Courtney]

What did she get on her froyo? Did she put gummy bears on froyo?

[Cole]

I don't know. Maybe gummy worms.

[Andrew]

Yo, Gummies are so good on ice cream or froyo because they get, like, hard.

[Ian]

It's kind of nice.

[Andrew]

Yeah, I'm hard for hard gummies, dude.

[Courtney]

All right.

[Ian]

A lot of different textures there.

[Courtney]

I'm not in for gummies on ice cream. It's just the texture just doesn't match up.

[Andrew]

What do you get on your fro, yo?

[Courtney]

Oh, I usually stick with, like, chocolatey things. Sprinkles, brownies, fudge, that kind of stuff.

[Andrew]

Nothing like fruit.

[Courtney]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sometimes I'll do, like, the strawberry situation.

[Ian]

Kiwi, maybe. Ooh, I feel like they have that at some places.

[Courtney]

Yeah, it's a little tang.

[Ian]

I've seen it.

[Andrew]

I've done, like, I love doing Ontario.

[Cole]

I don't know. It's pronounced Kaiwai.

[Andrew]

No, Kaiwai.

[Ian]

No, it's not.

[Cole]

I've only seen it written cheesecake bits.

[Andrew]

In some of those.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

And do that on, like, some raspberries.

[Courtney]

Guys, we should get some froyo after this.

[Cole]

Okay.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Sorry if we made all the listeners and viewers hungry.

[Courtney]

So one of our writers, Monica, she got to know you pretty well.

[Cole]

Cole.

[Courtney]

She said for me to try to get you to laugh about something, I don't know if I'll be able to, but she says you're the most fun person to watch laugh because you get really giggly.

[Cole]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew]

I feel like I've only seen that once.

[Courtney]

Really giggly and you turn red?

[Cole]

Oh, when I laugh. Yeah, maybe I do.

[Courtney]

So I don't know what we can do. Have you seen this, Andrew?

[Ian]

I've seen him giggle and stuff. I don't know about the turning red.

[Cole]

I remember a specific time where I turned red and it ruined everything.

[Courtney]

Yes.

[Ian]

What?

[Cole]

It smoshed.

[Courtney]

Are you referring to when we had the prank? Yeah.

[Andrew]

Wait. Yeah, I don't know this story, actually.

[Courtney]

Okay, go ahead and explain it, Cole.

[Cole]

Well, I. Who was. Was me and Monica. And I think you or someone Ryan might have called. Yeah, it was me, Monica and Ryan. There was this guy named Chris, right?

[Courtney]

Yeah, we can bleep out his last name or whatever.

[Cole]

There's a guy named Chris who worked in the. And we worked in the writer's room. There was this big window so we could see outside. I guess that's how windows work. And we saw him just walking to and from lunch. And for some reason, we decided to take a bunch of pictures of him as he was doing it. And then we were like, let's escalate this. Let's heighten this. So we printed out each of the.

[Courtney]

Photos and they're all from different days.

[Cole]

They're all from different days. Yeah. And. And like, it looked kind of incriminating, but for no real reason. So we decided to print them all out in like, you know, full size pages. And then we put them into a manila envelope. And then we put it on his desk when he was gone for lunch.

[Andrew]

Oh, my God.

[Cole]

And then he came back and I was so. Like, I hid somewhere. I forget who it was either me or Monica who hid somewhere and filmed him as he came back to his desk. I forget what we wrote on it. Do you remember what we wrote on it?

[Andrew]

Did you just put like the address of the office on it to make it look like.

[Cole]

Yeah, like it was sent to the office.

[Courtney]

We tried to make it look creepy.

[Ian]

And also it was really funny.

[Cole]

Yeah, it was very creepy. It looked very incriminating because all the shots of.

[Courtney]

All the shots of him were like.

[Ian]

We've been stalking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Different outfits.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Cole]

So there's a video of him, like, opening this envelope and just super confused. And then, I don't know, I guess he. I don't know what he thought. But he. He didn't know who it was. Obviously. I think he. Someone in the office. Cause it was coming from the office building.

[Courtney]

He had to check the angles.

[Cole]

He had to check the angles. He was walking around the building looking, where can you see me?

[Ian]

Did he know he was being filmed for this video, doing all that stuff.

[Cole]

No, we hid behind him. So for. It was a couple days where he put up the photos on his desk. He just played them. He put them on his thing.

[Courtney]

He was doing a hardcore investigation. And he started asking suspects.

[Cole]

Right. Started asking suspects. And I. Well, I just thought it was so funny. So I put it on my Instagram story. I documented the whole thing. And that was the fault because somehow another employee, I think, tipped him off that it was me, and then I deleted it before he had a chance to see it. But then he came in and started interviewing us. He was, like, trying to get to the bottom. You're in the middle of a meeting.

[Courtney]

In the middle of a meeting. And he grilled all of us. All of us held up.

[Andrew]

Was he upset?

[Courtney]

No, no. He's a comedian, so he gets it. But. But he was asking, like, every single person. Everybody was doing a great job at hiding the secret, except for Cole.

[Cole]

Really? I kept laughing. I kept. Like. I turned bright red. Cause he started talking to me about my Instagram, and I was like. I was trying to play dumb. I forget what I said. It was something really.

[Ian]

You folded so fast.

[Cole]

Yeah, I folded real quick.

[Courtney]

And then you just giggled?

[Cole]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Aw, that's so.

[Cole]

But it was. How long did it last? It lasted like. Like, what, like four days maybe? Yeah, it lasted a while.

[Courtney]

We got him. We got him good. And I think he kept those photos up there until the collapse of Defy.

[Andrew]

Yeah, they were there till the end.

[Courtney]

Andrew, you weren't doing this podcast, like, a year or so or maybe two years ago, were you? By yourself?

[Ian]

The podcast by the side?

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Ian]

No, no, it was Cole's idea.

[Courtney]

Okay. All right. Cause. Yeah. Cause I saw. I was just running through Griffith park one day. I want to say it was like a year or two ago, and there was a guy on a table, like, doing a podcast outside. I don't. Well, I mean, clearly, it would have.

[Andrew]

Been a radio show.

[Courtney]

Clearly, it didn't work out. I didn't talk to him. Don't worry. I was just very confused.

[Ian]

We do get a lot of messages, by the way, of people who are like, we love your show. I love your show. I'm gonna do it, too. And we're like, please don't.

[Andrew]

It's so weird.

[Ian]

We get so many messages, and we're just like, one episode. We just said it. We're just like, hey, we appreciate you guys liking the show, but we're trying to build this into a thing. Please don't copy it. I don't. I don't know. It's so weird, actually, that people would want to like. Yeah, it's just strange.

[Courtney]

People can't really copy our show because we just talk.

[Andrew]

It's just a basic podcast. We're copying every podcast.

[Ian]

Yeah, exactly.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

I feel like your podcast probably just makes people want to talk to people they don't know.

[Ian]

Yeah, it's fun. I get it. I understand. And it is like, it has a hook and, you know, and I've been doing comedy for like 10 years, and I never started a podcast because I was always like, well, I don't know what. I want it to be unique. I want to just like. I don't know. I just. I just feel like the market's saturated with people talking to people. This is fun. But, you know, I just was kind of like, I don't know. I don't have an interest in that. And then Cole had this idea, and then I was like, oh, that's like, unique. And it has its own.

[Cole]

I think I pitched it here maybe.

[Ian]

Oh, right.

[Cole]

Actually, I think so. I don't know. I think you're looking for, like, other things to do. I'm not pretty sure. I pitch it to definitely companies. I'm not sure if I pitch it to Smosh, but there is a lot.

[Courtney]

They're all too dumb.

[Cole]

Yeah, Well, I got a lot of stuff done. I actually. Because I knew I'd be on here, I brought a joke that didn't get.

[Ian]

Didn't make the cut.

[Cole]

Didn't make the cut.

[Courtney]

Okay.

[Andrew]

In a sketch.

[Cole]

In a sketch.

[Andrew]

Oh, my God.

[Cole]

Yes. It's just like a three line joke.

[Andrew]

Love it.

[Cole]

But I did bring it and I wanted to.

[Andrew]

Do you need, like, people to read it?

[Cole]

Because I found it. I was cleaning out my computer, like a few weeks ago, and I found, like, screenshots that I took, and it was one of these here. I can't find it.

[Ian]

I actually applied to be a writer on Smosh years and years ago. I wonder if I have anything for you.

[Andrew]

How many?

[Ian]

Like, honestly, five or six years ago, I just moved to la and my friend Brent, who knows you guys. Oh, yeah, he was like, oh, there's a writing position. I'm just curious if there's anything on my end.

[Andrew]

Too cool.

[Courtney]

Now I'm not sure if this is a bit.

[Ian]

No, I'm serious. I'm serious. I don't know if I can even find it.

[Cole]

So I have it. I'm assuming this was from if Internet Trends in Real Life or something like that. Or if Internet trends were real.

[Andrew]

Oh, yeah, we did that. Memes in real life.

[Cole]

No, I think we did some. I don't know yet.

[Andrew]

Oh, I'm in this. Oh, it's me and Ian.

[Cole]

It's you and Ian and Shane. I kind of want Ian to read Shane.

[Andrew]

Cole has a screenshot from a script he wrote. And so now we're passing it around so that we can all cold read it. Cold read it together. Don't read it.

[Cole]

I'm not reading it.

[Andrew]

Don't read it. You're looking at it.

[Courtney]

I'm not reading it. Okay, so this is a rejected Smosh sketch that you had written?

[Cole]

Yes. I'm assuming it's Internet trends and real is what it was.

[Andrew]

Are you gonna read stage documents?

[Cole]

Yeah. So interior doctor's office day. A couple Clarissa, Courtney and Ryan Ian are talking to the doctor. And I'll be the doctor. Yeah.

[Andrew]

We have no idea how we got pregnant.

[Cole]

Did you use a condom?

[Courtney]

Yep. Used it correctly and everything. Filled it with water, dropped it on her head, then came in her pussy.

[Andrew]

Yo.

[Cole]

Yeah, that didn't make the cut.

[Courtney]

I remember that joke.

[Andrew]

That's so funny. And it's probably just cause of wa. Is it cause of the P word?

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Cause we can't then change it to like something else coochie.

[Courtney]

But I guarantee we laughed really fucking.

[Andrew]

That's incredible.

[Courtney]

Well, we did get away with calling Lasercorn lazy cum in smosh summer games. So.

[Andrew]

Wow.

[Courtney]

Who knows?

[Andrew]

That's a good joke. Cole. I'm sorry.

[Cole]

It's okay.

[Ian]

Was it for a video that did come out, but that joke didn't make it.

[Courtney]

And then you had the foresight to screen cap it and say I'm well?

[Cole]

Yeah, I liked it.

[Courtney]

As I was reading, I was like, oh, God damn it.

[Ryan]

Hello, it is Ryan. And I was on a flight the other day playing one of my favorite social spin slot games on chumbacasino.com. i looked over the person sitting next to me and you know what they were doing? They were also playing Chumba Casino. Everybody's loving having fun with it. Chumba Casino's home to hundreds of casino style games that you can play for free anytime, anywhere. So sign up [e-mail] to claim your free welcome. Welcome bonus. That's chumbacasino.com and live the Chumba life.

[Cole]

Sponsored by Chumba Casino. No purchase necessary. VGW Group void. We're prohibited by law 21 plus terms and conditions apply.

[Andrew]

Did you find your.

[Ian]

I did find it, but I don't Know how entertaining it'll be. But I'll just.

[Andrew]

Is that like your one page on the front?

[Ian]

But the response from Ryan said. Awesome, thanks. We will check these out ASAP. 2014.

[Courtney]

Oh, no.

[Andrew]

For all.

[Courtney]

Holy crap.

[Ian]

I know.

[Courtney]

And I guarantee I read them.

[Ian]

I know, I know. I'm not mad at all. I mean, I applied to lots of jobs.

[Courtney]

I get it actually sounds like an email I'd send.

[Ian]

Yeah, I believe it.

[Courtney]

That's how I email.

[Andrew]

Five years.

[Cole]

Five years ago.

[Ian]

That's funny.

[Courtney]

I mean, that would have been like around the time that, like Squad was coming on.

[Andrew]

Yeah. I mean, I've been. I've been on for four years and.

[Ian]

Like a couple months, man, things could have been so different. I could have been pranked by Cole in the office. Everything worked out.

[Andrew]

But it's funny, it's crazy that we both got hired onto smosh through people we met from vine. Kind of.

[Cole]

Yeah. I mean, that's how I've gotten all my jobs pretty much.

[Ian]

Yeah. I just missed the boat on Vine. I think I was just like a little too old for whatever reason. It just like didn't. I don't know, I just didn't. I just didn't get on it.

[Andrew]

What was your, like, main creative outlet?

[Ian]

I mean, I've been doing stand up for 10 years, so I think that's also part of it is like people in that world, like people in the standup world aren't as good at the Internet and it's just like they're different worlds for whatever reason. Yeah.

[Courtney]

Do you feel like a lot of people in the standup world kind of look down on things like that?

[Ian]

I think at the time maybe so. Yeah.

[Andrew]

But then Krystalia hopped on.

[Ian]

But there's also plenty of, you know, stand up people who are good at it. I don't know. There's a bit of both, I guess. Yeah.

[Courtney]

How's the stand up life?

[Cole]

It's good.

[Ian]

Yeah, it's fun. I mean, it's definitely, you know, like all entertainment stuff. It's very difficult to. I don't know, just like there's so many things out of your control in the entertainment world. That's why stuff like what you guys are doing and kind of what we're doing, that's why that stuff is so cool because you can just, you know, you just started this with your friend, however long ago. It's like you just kind of wanted to take control and do this thing and there's no, you know, like, there's no like gatekeepers or People telling you you can't. And I think that's what's awesome about the Internet and stuff like this is. It really gives people a voice where no one can say no to them really.

[Courtney]

Because even with standup comedy, like you're doing it yourself, but it is very clicky and there are gatekeepers of people keeping you out.

[Ian]

Totally. The actual act of doing standup I like and I feel like I'm good at. And I feel good about that. But like, you know, getting a late night set or getting on tv, it's just like those aspects are so out of your. That it's can be very frustrating.

[Courtney]

But even like the person running the comedy club has to like you.

[Ian]

Yeah, there's so many. I mean, there's just so many steps and stuff. But it's going well and I'm doing well and it's fun.

[Courtney]

That's awesome. And obviously like podcast, but outside has to be like helping you guys. Totally.

[Ian]

Yeah. Every time I like go on the road now, like a lot of fans come out from the podcast and that's kind of cool. Yeah, it's exciting. Yeah.

[Andrew]

Sweet.

[Courtney]

I mean, that's gotta be helping you quite a bit. Cause like you're going around the sort of like typical mainstream avenues to build your stand up career.

[Ian]

Yeah, a little bit. And we also want to go on our tour with our podcast too. Like, we want like, we have visions of doing a live version of the show and then doing other episodes in the city. So that's a definitely thing for the near future podcast.

[Cole]

But outside. But inside.

[Ian]

Exactly.

[Courtney]

Okay. Because I was gonna say, I thought I was thinking like you guys tickets to a show, but the show is outside on a sidewalk and you have like an audience of 200 on the street just watching you as people walking by.

[Ian]

We have thought about that, but we ultimately do have a way that we are gonna do it. But maybe we shouldn't.

[Courtney]

You don't need to stay here.

[Cole]

Yeah, you don't need to kind of want to keep it a surprise.

[Ian]

Okay. But it'll be cool. We have a workaround that will make a very cool way to do our show.

[Andrew]

Yeah, I'm gonna have like a backdrop of the sky. I can't say, okay, well there you.

[Courtney]

Can have that idea.

[Ian]

We'll take that. We'll take that.

[Courtney]

No, I know what they're gonna do. They're gonna have avatars of themselves.

[Ian]

Yeah. We are gonna do avatar style and then we are gonna be connected to our mom via her pussy. Yeah, it's gonna be great.

[Cole]

Are we allowed to say any of that on this podcast?

[Andrew]

Oh, yes. We can say everything on.

[Cole]

Even if it's on YouTube, it'll be beeped.

[Courtney]

Oh, that word is just.

[Ian]

I hear you.

[Courtney]

It's just. It's so. Yeah, it's icky when you're saying it in a normal conversation. It's very icky when you're referring to.

[Andrew]

The actual body part. I feel like it's weirder when you're referring to the actual body part.

[Courtney]

Can you imagine if a doctor said that?

[Andrew]

Oh, my God.

[Courtney]

He's like, so we're just gonna, you know, use the. What are the.

[Cole]

Speculum.

[Courtney]

Speculum. He's like, I don't even wanna say it. It's too gross.

[Andrew]

That's called the coochie wrench.

[Courtney]

Oh, the coochie wrench, right.

[Andrew]

Gonna put the coochie wrench in your. I don't wanna say it.

[Ian]

See?

[Courtney]

Yeah, it's gross. It's too gross to say. And it's a casual conversation.

[Andrew]

It's just. I feel like that with every curse word or dirty word, it feels wrong. Until you like, heat of the moment. Heat of the moment. Or like you say it enough that it doesn't feel weird to say it.

[Ian]

Even context changes in context, you know, all that stuff.

[Andrew]

It's an acquired word.

[Ian]

A friend of mine, Whitmer Thomas, he's a stand up comedian, he has a joke where he's like, he just says, he says, my therapist refers to sex as fucking. And it's shocking every time. It's just like, the context is weird. It's like, so have you been doing any fucking?

[Courtney]

Yeah, that is strange.

[Ian]

It's weird.

[Andrew]

Yeah. I would feel weird about that.

[Ian]

Yeah, it's weird.

[Courtney]

I'd be like, I'm sorry, we just need to pause this therapy for a moment.

[Ian]

Just call it. Yeah, yeah.

[Cole]

What's up?

[Ian]

What's up?

[Andrew]

Yo, what's up?

[Ian]

What's up, guys?

[Andrew]

Do you do stuff?

[Cole]

I do stage stuff, actually. Monica and Shane both helped me audio record a bit that I do. Not character stuff. It's more like one man sketches.

[Courtney]

Like your CVS mascot you've been trying.

[Cole]

To pump out there, right? Fuck ass.

[Andrew]

That's the best name.

[Courtney]

Can you explain this mascot? The CVS mascot. You've been trying to pitch CVS and you're pitching it inside a cvs.

[Cole]

It's an old Walgreens.

[Courtney]

Oh, it's in a Walgreens.

[Andrew]

You're in a Walgreens.

[Ian]

It's for Walgreens.

[Cole]

Oh, it's for.

[Courtney]

Oh, I'M sorry, I get a mix.

[Cole]

Fuck. Ass is. He's a purple monster, man who dresses in teen clothes and rides around on a longboard and tries to give all the customers hickeys. He's just basically just like a cool guy. He's like. I think he would like make Walgreens a little more hip, a little more like edgy. Just edgy?

[Courtney]

Yeah, it's like how Colonel Sanders hosted. Was it EDC or is that.

[Andrew]

Did he do a set?

[Courtney]

Yeah, dude, he did a full on. Really set at. I think it was edc.

[Cole]

Wait, who did?

[Ian]

Sanders?

[Cole]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Oh, wait, what's the one in. What's the one in Miami? It's not edc, it's Basil. No, no, it's.

[Andrew]

Oh, outside lands.

[Courtney]

Oh, man, there's so many. So many ravers are gonna be pissed off at us for not knowing this.

[Andrew]

Sorry, Ravens.

[Courtney]

Anyway, he did like one of the biggest, like EDM concerts and he did. They did a Colonel Sanders set. They had a giant Colonel Sanders head on a guy like Marshmallow or something. And. And he's like, I'm Colonel Sanders. I am everywhere. And he did a full like, music.

[Cole]

Set who kind of, kind of makes me want kfc.

[Ian]

Like some dj, right? It had to be. It had to be like some like a couple tears below marshmallow kind of.

[Courtney]

Yeah, I mean, like, we don't even know if it's the real marshmallow playing. Playing music. I mean, I've heard like on appearances and stuff. It's not actually him.

[Cole]

Oh, I think they did kind of a spoof of that on the Good Place.

[Courtney]

Oh, really?

[Cole]

A little bit. Or that's.

[Andrew]

I don't know, something like Marshmallow is an idea.

[Ian]

Exactly.

[Courtney]

Yeah. Because I know he did like a cooking show and I heard that it wasn't actually him. And it's kind of brilliant because, like, if he just hires a bunch of people that are the same body type as and sends them out into the world to do other like pre recorded projects, nobody will know.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Cause he doesn't talk. He literally. It's just. You gotta just have anybody with the same basic build.

[Cole]

I mean, honestly, it's probably a team of people who just goes by Marshmallow.

[Courtney]

It's kinda smart.

[Ian]

Why not?

[Andrew]

Yeah, that's pretty cool actually.

[Cole]

Deadmau5, right? Does Deadmau5.

[Courtney]

Well, Deadmau5, you can tell it's Deadmau5'cause he's covered in tattoos. So it's a lot harder.

[Ian]

Unless someone's like a hardcore double. You Know all the same tattoos. Tattoos, right.

[Courtney]

Like a. Like a Saddam Hussein kind of situation.

[Cole]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, is he a dj?

[Courtney]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big and big in, like, the early 2000s. Oh, cool. He. I don't know what happened to him. He kind of, like.

[Cole]

He went underground.

[Courtney]

Yeah, yeah, he went underground. I hear he's. I hear he's, like, kind of hanging out.

[Cole]

Oh, okay. He's hanging out where? At the ocean. He's hanging out in the ocean.

[Courtney]

No, that was bin Laden.

[Cole]

Oh, that was bin Laden.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Cole]

Yeah, Bin Laden.

[Courtney]

Saddam.

[Cole]

He's still hanging.

[Courtney]

I mean, they might have cut him down. Sorry. This is getting too grim. I mean, I feel like it's okay to laugh about. No.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Death.

[Cole]

It wasn't suicide.

[Courtney]

I mean, like, he was a dictator. I mean, we can kind of laugh about dictators dying, right? No.

[Andrew]

Every time I hear the word dictator, I heard dictator.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

All right.

[Ian]

Have you guys ever been to Burning Man?

[Courtney]

No. Can you tell us about it?

[Ian]

I don't know. I'm going on Monday for the first time.

[Cole]

Oh, wow.

[Ian]

I was just curious if you had ever been Kevin.

[Andrew]

Have you?

[Ian]

I haven't. I've had a lot of friends who've gone, though. Yeah.

[Andrew]

I feel like I know a lot of people who have gone.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

You got an extra spot?

[Andrew]

Yeah. It's actually really cool.

[Ian]

I do not have an extra spot. I wish I did. I'm, like, hesitant about it. I'm like. I'm not into, like, festival. I don't really go to those things. I don't really like that. But I have so many friends who. I really trust their opinion, who, like, love it and say it's the best, that I'm just like, I gotta try this.

[Courtney]

But do they all do it on drugs?

[Ian]

No. I have one of my closest friends who goes. Has been sober for, like, 20 years.

[Andrew]

Yeah. It's not even, really, like, the music is, like, one song.

[Ian]

Yeah, that's not really. Yeah. It's just, like, this weird community. I mean, there's a lot. I mean, the aesthetics of it don't really appeal to me. There's a lot of things about it that I'm like.

[Cole]

Oh.

[Ian]

Like, I was just planning on kind of making fun of this forever. Not actually going, but I'm gonna go and we'll see how it goes.

[Courtney]

I think it's probably good to go now. I mean, like, I'm sure you'll probably hear from a lot of, like, the old sort of burners that it's been sort of invaded by the sort of, like, Wealthy elite that they fly in on a private jet for a day or two and then they leave.

[Andrew]

Is it expensive, Burning man or is it just kinda you show up?

[Ian]

It is. You have to do a lot of preparation. So the ticket is like $450, but then. Or just total for the whole week.

[Courtney]

That's not bad.

[Ian]

Well, they're not trying to, like, make a ton of money. It's like trying to just, you know, create community.

[Andrew]

It's a community or whatever.

[Ian]

Yeah. But, you know, they have 60,000 people go. So I'm sure they make enough money to do it. You have to bring everything. You have to bring all your own food and water for a week. You have to, like, bring a bunch of weird random supplies, like glow up light things and a bike and like, I don't know, like a mask, like all goggles. Just weird stuff.

[Cole]

Andrew got like an entire warehouse shipped to his house.

[Ian]

I got a lot of stuff shipped to my house.

[Cole]

Yesterday we got to his house, there was like, there's a stack of boxes, like, higher than his door.

[Ian]

There's like 12 packages.

[Courtney]

Wow.

[Ian]

Well, because it was like, there's like some, you know, ready to eat meal type stuff. And then I had, like, bought a battery with like a solar panel so I can have like some power. I don't know, all these different things.

[Courtney]

That's smart.

[Ian]

We'll see how it goes. I think it'll be interesting, but I'm not. I don't.

[Courtney]

Yeah, because it's like, it's like part art show, but then part like, social experiment. Right. Where there's. There's no currency, there's no, like, there's no money involved. So everything is for trade, right?

[Ian]

It's not even trade, actually. That's a misconception. I thought that as well. But then I read through the whole guide. It's not even like, I give you this, you give me that. It's like I give you this period. Like, everything is just free. You are also encouraged to bring stuff to give to people as well. But if you walk around, you can take anything you want from everyone and no one will say anything. It's not like a strict trade, but it is like, you know, in that process, if you bring some stuff and someone else brings some stuff, it'll all kind of work out for everyone.

[Courtney]

Yeah, I think that's. I think that's pretty dope. Yeah. I had a friend that. He like, built a bar or something.

[Ian]

Exactly. People do that. Yeah.

[Courtney]

Yeah. And then it's just. He's just like. Yeah. People will just come and just drink for free and. And that's. That's fine. That's all part. That's all part of the.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Burning man experience.

[Ian]

It sounds cool. And like, the environment is so harsh. It's like, you know, 100 degrees and you're in the desert. There's dust everywhere. The dust gets on everything. And, like, the fact that the environment is so harsh and yet people still go every year, like, it's a testament to how high the highs are, like, how good some aspects of it are.

[Cole]

So I'm.

[Ian]

I'm interested.

[Cole]

I think if I went, I'd build a Hyatt.

[Ian]

There are people who do stuff like that.

[Cole]

Yeah. Build hotels. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew]

Or just like have tons of sleeping bags and stuff like that.

[Ian]

But I'll let you guys know how it goes.

[Courtney]

Yeah, listen, if you see a Kardashian there.

[Ian]

Oh, yeah, I'll tell. Keep an eye out.

[Courtney]

I feel like they're probably there for.

[Andrew]

I feel like at this day and age, it's kind of like a spectacle where it's like people are like, ooh, I just didn't check this out. Like, a lot of like, Comic Con used to not be like this mainstream thing.

[Courtney]

And then I feel like half the people that I've seen seen, like, in those Burning man photos. It's like Instagram models wearing, like a bikini. I'm like, that's gonna be me.

[Ian]

Yeah, yeah, that's me hardcore.

[Courtney]

I'm like, is that really, like, desert attire?

[Ian]

I know, it's definitely changed. But you know what? It'll be fun.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Ian]

And. Yeah, we'll see.

[Andrew]

You should get a blow up kiddie pool.

[Ian]

Okay. Oh, yeah, I'll take a look. Actually, that's also part of it. You're not allowed to get any. Let anything touch the ground. Like, no water or like, nothing is allowed to. I mean, like, you know, your tent and stuff, but, like, you're not allowed to get any, like, matter or water on the soil. It's like kind of a huge rule. So, like, you can't. You can't like, brush your teeth outside and like, spit on the ground or.

[Courtney]

Anything because it's meant to be. Like, you're supposed to leave it as you can.

[Ian]

Supposed to leave no trace. And it is like a very delicate, weird little. Like there's something about the soil. I don't know. It's like a weird place. It's like a weird.

[Cole]

So no throwing up.

[Ian]

Yeah, you can't throw up. I mean, there's like, toilets.

[Cole]

Unless it's in your tent.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Bucket.

[Ian]

They recommend that, actually.

[Andrew]

A yeet.

[Cole]

Yeah, I'd have a sign that says puke in my Hyatt.

[Courtney]

This is kind of changing subject, please. I hear there's a story to how you got your cat, Cole.

[Andrew]

Oh, yeah.

[Ian]

Oh, this is good.

[Courtney]

We got, like, eight minutes left, so I just want to, like, finish it off with this.

[Cole]

I love it. I'll try to finish it in seven. So last September. Wow. Almost a year ago.

[Andrew]

What's the kitty's name again?

[Cole]

Her name is Capri. Was Capri. I'm just kidding.

[Ian]

Still is. But she Is dead.

[Cole]

But she's dead.

[Ian]

She.

[Cole]

So we were looking for a new roommate for my. You know, my house. Cause we have four open rooms. Well, one was open. That's how roommates were. Yes. We had a window in a house.

[Ian]

What is a house? Like a small Hyatt.

[Cole]

Small Hyatt. You can puke there.

[Ian]

Oh, great. I'd love to come hang out.

[Cole]

Yeah. So we met this girl through, like, this Facebook group, and she seemed cool, and she came and visited, and. And, like, she seemed, like, super cool. We met her twice. I met her. I met her girlfriend, and she saw the house. She's like, I'd love this. This would be cool. I'm like, okay. And so we. She sent in her application, and, like, she was approved. And she was like, hey, I'm gonna come. I'm gonna move in on Sunday, but can I drop? Oh, I had brought up. I was like, oh, by the way, like, are you allergic to cats? She's like, no. I was like, oh, well, we were thinking of maybe getting one. We're not sure. And she was like, I actually have a cat. She's like, can I move in with her? I'm like, yeah, of course.

[Courtney]

She didn't mention that before.

[Cole]

She didn't mention that before.

[Ian]

That's odd.

[Cole]

What?

[Ian]

First red flag.

[Cole]

First red flag. And I was like, okay, interesting. I'm like, yeah.

[Courtney]

First red flag is getting a roommate off of Facebook.

[Cole]

But it's like a closed group. Like, you have to be, like, accepted into the group.

[Ian]

There's only 20,000 members, dude.

[Cole]

Yeah. And we got. So she's like, I'm gonna move in Sunday. It would be a lot easier if I could drop the cat off. And we're like, okay, yeah, do that. She dropped the cat off and then left. And then that was, like, kind of the last we heard from her.

[Courtney]

Oh, okay.

[Cole]

So we tried. So, like, a couple days went by, and, like, me and my other roommate were kind of waiting. We're just like, okay, I guess we'll feed the cat. I guess we'll clean the litter. I don't know. Maybe she'll like, some toys.

[Courtney]

Did she drop anything else off other than the cat?

[Cole]

Her and her little. Her litter box. And then she just came in a basket with a towel over it. Like a dirty towel?

[Andrew]

Not even, like, a crate.

[Cole]

No. We tried hitting her up, and she wasn't responding to us. And then, like, days go by, and we. So we send her a message. We're like, hey, you can't live here anymore. We need to fill the room. Rent's due. Just let us know about the cat. And then she responded, and she was like, what did you say rent was? Is it flexible? And how much are utilities? And we were like, oh, sorry. We don't know if you saw the message above this one, but you can't. You can't live here. Just let us know about the cat. And then she just kept asking questions. She's like, well, no, like, I'm gonna move in, like, tomorrow. And we're like, she just wasn't like, I think she's trying to gaslight us or something. It was very bizarre. So we tried to tell. So, like, we just didn't know what to do. We were, like, frustrated. We were like. Because I was convinced that, like, she was dead. That she died. So, like, I was like, dud these manic searches online. I'm like, this girl's dead, and I'm the only one that knows she's missing. So, like, I was so concerned for her. I was like. So, like, I was doing all this research. I was trying to find her. I couldn't find her anywhere online. I couldn't find her name. I was like, what? Like, this is bizarre. And then, like, my worry just turned to, like, anger so quick. And we were like, just, like, talk to the landlord. Like, we don't. We can't deal with this. And then the landlord calls, like, a half hour later, and he's like, she is under no circumstances allowed back in that house. We're like, what happened? And he's like, she just started yelling at me. And, like, she said, you told her all this stuff. I forget what exactly it was. But, like, I had text proof that I said the opposite. So, like, I screenshotted it, sent it to him, and she's like. He's like, yeah. So, like, don't. Don't let her back in the house.

[Courtney]

Oh, my God.

[Cole]

So we're like, okay. So then we texted her again. And we're like, okay, so let us know about the cat. We'd be happy, you know, to keep her, but otherwise, she's yours if you want her.

[Andrew]

How is the cat doing throughout all of this?

[Cole]

Terrified. She's, like, shaking it alone in this empty room. But I was in there all day with her, just trying to calm her down and keep her company. And then she texts back. She's like, hey, would it be cool if I came by in a few days to check up on Capri?

[Courtney]

We're like, check up?

[Cole]

Sorry, there's no checking up. Do you want the cat or no? And then she said, well, I'm looking at new apartments right now. I'll see what their pet policy is, and I'll let you know. And we're like, okay. And then we never heard from again.

[Courtney]

Maybe she's dead. Maybe she was dead the whole time.

[Ian]

Wow, that's cool.

[Courtney]

And it was just the spirit of her. That came with the cat.

[Cole]

Yeah, that came with the cat.

[Andrew]

That's crazy. And you said the cat's, like, awesome.

[Ian]

She's cool.

[Cole]

Well, she's attached herself to me, so I kind of have this cat now. She sleeps with me. She won't leave my side, and she's pretty dependent on me.

[Courtney]

Well, that's great that it worked out.

[Cole]

Yeah. I kind of got a new best friend out of it, which is cool.

[Courtney]

What a crazy person.

[Andrew]

Yeah. That's so weird, because she didn't bring up the cat. Cat at first.

[Cole]

Yeah. Like, I brought it, like, so it wasn't her plan because I brought up the cat. It was just a very weird scenario.

[Andrew]

She must have been, like, kicked out of somewhere and, like, just needed to.

[Cole]

Put that cat because she got approved. Like, she got, like. Her application was approved by the land. Like, everything checked out on paper. Like, it checked out. She seemed cool in person. I don't know what it was, but, yeah, the first text she sent after, like, she was missing, she was just like, hey, sorry, I. I was, like, a little stressed. I'm not good at texting when I'm stressed.

[Courtney]

We're like, okay, okay. You gonna pick up your cat?

[Cole]

Yeah. Cause I remember I was at a birthday party at Dave and Buster's when she first texted back. And I've never been more upset in a Dave and Buster's in my life.

[Courtney]

I'm always upset in Dave and Buster's.

[Andrew]

Wait, I may have been there at the Dave and Buster's.

[Cole]

Really?

[Andrew]

What was it for? Do you. Do you remember?

[Cole]

It's for my friend's Birthday. I don't know if you know.

[Andrew]

Okay, probably not.

[Ian]

Did you just hang out there a lot or. What's wrong?

[Cole]

No.

[Andrew]

At all. I've been to a couple birthday parties at Dave and Busters. I feel like I've seen you at David Buster's.

[Cole]

Yeah. No, we have been at the same party before.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Cole]

Like, same Dave and Busters.

[Andrew]

Yeah, something like that.

[Cole]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Courtney]

D and B. Little D and B action. Well, I'm glad the cat's in a better home.

[Cole]

Ryan said he wanted to meet a mention.

[Ian]

What is it?

[Courtney]

There's a guy. We'll just bleep out his name in that, but. But there's a guy. He was one of the business leader guys over at Defy.

[Cole]

He was like newly brought on board, right?

[Courtney]

Yeah, kind of. He was hired from within. Like, he wasn't really. I don't think it's a job that he really wanted. And Defy just kind of hurled it on him. Nobody really liked him. Do you have a story about him?

[Cole]

Yeah, Ryan told me to tell the story of the All Hands meeting. We had a meeting every month. Every month. Where. And that was new, right? Was that like a new thing you used to.

[Courtney]

Yeah, it's something that he kind of.

[Andrew]

Put on in that final year.

[Courtney]

This All Hands meeting kind of situation where he would bring everyone in and try to, like hype them up, you know, on the successes of Smosh and what we're gonna do next. And like, yeah, that is a good thing. But the way that he went about it was like a dad trying to hype you up for like your bar mitzvah. Yeah.

[Andrew]

Literally. He'd have music from his iPhone playing like D. Yeah.

[Courtney]

And then he had like. He had like really bad jokes that he would put in. Or he would like have GIFs in the.

[Cole]

Well, he had PowerPoint in the PowerPoints. He'd like, cut. He'd like, use photos, like old photos from people's Facebooks, like in the room, like, of like, of employees. But. Yeah, I don't know. But he also, like always I liked him. I. I did like him just because he was so pure, I guess. I don't know. He was. He had like this innocent to him.

[Courtney]

Yeah. He also. You also would think that he was like much older than us, but he was the same age as us. He always just dressed in like a buttoned up shirt, tucked his shirt in.

[Cole]

He'd tuck a plaid shirt into jeans.

[Andrew]

With a belt.

[Courtney]

With a belt. Yeah.

[Cole]

I didn't intend to, like completely overthrow him with one thing. But it happened. Yeah, he asked. He emailed me the night before. He's like, hey, can you, like, talk about this tomorrow at the meeting? Like, And I was like, I don't want to do that. Like, I wasn't even gonna go to the meeting. I was gonna sleep in and then just show up for work. Yeah, I was like, okay, I guess so. So, like, I come up and, like, I see the PowerPoint and it's like my face, like, photoshopped onto this thing with, like, all these talking points.

[Courtney]

I don't.

[Cole]

What did I think? I just. You read the headline talking point, and then I just kept In a row. Yeah.

[Courtney]

So the headline talking point was what word? Writing scripts. We're writing scripts. The check in from the writers team was we're writing scripts. And there was a bunch of, like, points that were like, hey, he'd explain more to get everyone hyped. And then you.

[Cole]

I just. I think I just reread them, but reworded them.

[Courtney]

You know, you said you skipped all the ones. You just read the headline and reworded and said the same sentence eight or nine times.

[Cole]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Really?

[Cole]

And each time I said it, like, people were laughing more and more and more. And he was just, like, in the, like, off to the side, like, turning white. Like, humiliated.

[Ian]

Like, creating a super villain.

[Cole]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Everyone was losing their shit. Like, everyone was, like, laughing their asses off. We dogged on him quite a lot in those meetings. Like, and he would just be like, yeah, it's crazy, right? Like, but you could tell he was, like, very bothered.

[Cole]

I didn't mean, like, I unintentionally bullied this man. Oh, no. Oh, I did that feel, though. I did feel really bad. I didn't mean to.

[Courtney]

You shouldn't feel bad.

[Cole]

I just. I just was apathetic to be there, but it, like, just completely undercut everything he was trying to do.

[Courtney]

Yeah. I mean, you shouldn't feel too bad. I know he was trying to fire some of, like, some of, like, our high level people. Oh, yeah, because they were. Because he thought they were making too much money. So. Yeah. So I'm not. I don't feel too bad about him getting dogged on.

[Andrew]

I accidentally bullied him.

[Cole]

You did?

[Courtney]

Yeah. What do you do?

[Andrew]

Because you know how every weekend he would be like, what are you guys up to this weekend? Or like. Or he does always the same questions like, what are you guys up to this weekend? Or I went into my apartment on Friday and didn't come out till Monday morning. Like, every time it was a Little sad.

[Ian]

It was a little cheesy.

[Andrew]

But I remember one time we were all at the table, and he was like, what are you guys up to this weekend? I just looked, and I was like, we're all gonna stare at a wall the whole weekend. And he's like, okay, well, you guys have a good time. And I was like, shit, dude. I thought I was just trying to be, like, sarcastic and funny, but it actually came out.

[Cole]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Yeah. I gave him a good. I gave him a good chance. And then. And then, you know, I got tired of it. Cause he's. He. I wasn't. I didn't approve of the work he did.

[Cole]

But the thing was, he was. Before that, he was so nice to me and trying so hard to be my friend. And then really, I was like, the other Jewish guy in the office. I was like, I don't know.

[Courtney]

You also tucked your shirt in occasionally.

[Cole]

Yeah, I tucked my shirt in.

[Ian]

Sad. It was like, he was looking up to you. Like, friend just totally betrayed him in front of everyone.

[Cole]

And then he just didn't. He, like, wouldn't make eye contact with me, even in the hallway. After that, like, he, like. It was like a complete, like, 180. Like, I. I ruined everything on accident.

[Courtney]

It was the last. It was the last person he could have expected betrayal from.

[Andrew]

He's like, I trusted you.

[Courtney]

Oh, my God, man.

[Ian]

Judas of the office. Cole.

[Andrew]

Wow.

[Courtney]

Holy crap. Well, shoot dude.

[Cole]

Shoot dude.

[Ian]

Shoot dude.

[Andrew]

Shoot dude. Yeah, that is a shoot dude.

[Ian]

That's a shoot dude right there.

[Cole]

That's a shoot dude. That's a real.

[Ian]

That's a shoot dude.

[Cole]

If I've ever heard of a shoot dude. That was a shoot dude.

[Ian]

A real shoot dude.

[Courtney]

Well, Cole, Andrew, thank you so much. Where can they find podcast but outside?

[Cole]

We're on YouTube as well as any other podcast. Podcast.

[Ian]

Just search podcast but outside. And then if you want to get a taste of it, our Instagram and Twitter has a bunch of clips, and then we're on Instagram and Twitter too, personally.

[Courtney]

What's the episode you guys would recommend them checking out first?

[Ian]

People. Like this one. We're downtown nightlife.

[Cole]

Oh, yeah. Downtown nightlife.

[Ian]

So we're like 1am in front of a bar.

[Andrew]

Wow, that's awesome.

[Cole]

It's called Friday night outside the club.

[Ian]

Da Club. I think it's like five or six.

[Cole]

Or seven or something.

[Ian]

That was pretty crazy.

[Cole]

Yeah. All right.

[Ian]

But then check out a newer one because we're doing a lot more with editing and stuff like that.

[Courtney]

Yeah. All right, cool.

[Ian]

Thank you.

[Courtney]

Well, thank you guys so much, and thank you guys for listening. If you've not yet subscribed to the Smosh cast, you could do that by subscribing on any of your favorite podcast apps. Or you could Watch us on YouTube. See our pretty faces, but you can't hear us curse, like, saying, snot and booger and pussy. Yeah, so if you're not yet subscribed on YouTube, do that as well. Hit that bell button. We love you so much. Smash that store. We got fun stuff, as always.

[Andrew]

Yeah, I'm wearing the girls and girls shirt.

[Courtney]

Oh, yeah. If that's still out there, you know it's going fast.

[Cole]

The limited supply. Yeah, sorry.

[Courtney]

We gotta plug all our things.

[Ian]

I love it.

[Courtney]

Sorry.

[Andrew]

Yeah, sorry.

[Ian]

This water bottle was getting me very hydrated. It's a Smosh. Water bottle.

[Cole]

Stickers.

[Courtney]

Oh, yeah.

[Ian]

Thank you.

[Andrew]

Outside stickers.

[Courtney]

Do I get it for free or do you guys.

[Ian]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew]

Oh, this looks so good.

[Cole]

Our patron will get them for free.

[Ian]

Ooh, you guys, I brought some just in case.

[Courtney]

Oh, my God. You guys brought so many stickers.

[Ian]

We just got these made two days ago, so it's like, we haven't even.

[Courtney]

Announced that we have these.

[Andrew]

Adorable.

[Courtney]

I like those.

[Andrew]

They look like you.

[Ian]

Yeah, it's us outside in the world.

[Courtney]

Wow. Thank you so much.

[Ian]

Thank you guys for having us. This is a pleasure.

[Courtney]

All right, love you guys.

[Ian]

Love you, too.

[Andrew]

Bye.

[Cole]

Step into the world of power, loyalty, and luck. I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse.

[Courtney]

With family.

[Cole]

Cannolis and spins mean everything. Now you want to get mixed up in the family business.

[Andrew]

Introduction.

[Cole]

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[Courtney]

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[Cole]

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[Ian]

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[Cole]

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