S1: #30 - Ian (Finally) Goes To Therapy

Summary

Podcast Summary: Smosh Mouth – S1:E30 "Ian (Finally) Goes To Therapy"

Release Date: September 11, 2019
Hosts: Shayne Topp (Shane), Amanda Lehan-Canto (Courtney), and Damien Lehan-Canto

---

1. Welcome and Introduction

The trio kicks off the 30th episode of the Smosh Cast with a casual catch-up, reminiscing about their interactions and the time since the last episode.

• Courtney: “Welcome to episode 30 of the smoshcast. It's been a while since it's just been us three just, like, hanging out.” [01:43]

2. Courtney’s Journey to Therapy

A significant portion of the episode centers around Courtney's decision to seek therapy, discussing her experiences and the impact it has had on her life.

• Courtney: “I've been going for about a month now.” [02:31]
• Shane: “How does it feel?” [02:29]
• Courtney: “Feels fine.” [02:29]

The hosts commend Courtney for her proactive approach to mental health, emphasizing the importance of seeking help.

• Damien: “That's a boy. That's my boy.” [02:19]
• Shane: “It's a legal requirement.” [06:37] (In reference to the importance of therapy)

They delve into the universal challenges of starting therapy, such as feeling uncertain about what to discuss initially and uncovering deeper issues.

• Shane: “It’s gonna be completely individual. And it is weird. The first sessions are always really weird.” [04:14]
• Courtney: “I don't have the best memory... I don't remember.” [05:40]

3. Overcoming Creative Block and Embracing Writing

The conversation shifts to the creative process, where the hosts share their struggles with perfectionism and the importance of embracing imperfection to foster creativity.

• Shane: “You gotta push through it. You gotta be okay with writing pieces of crap.” [10:03]
• Courtney: “You only get better with time.” [11:03]

They discuss the benefits of writing as a therapeutic and creative outlet, highlighting personal anecdotes about fanfiction and sketch writing.

• Damien: “I was like, oh, this could become this...” [07:32]

4. Navigating College Costs and Experiences

Shane opens up about the exorbitant costs of higher education, student debt, and his personal academic journey.

• Shane: “It's roughly like $3,000 per class.” [15:26]
• Courtney: “That's a lot of people, man.” [25:35]

The discussion includes practical advice on utilizing community colleges to mitigate expenses and the value of education despite financial burdens.

• Courtney: “Don't let money stop you.” [25:40]

5. Fashion, Personal Style, and Group Dynamics

The hosts engage in a lighthearted debate about fashion choices, personal style transformations, and the influence of their peers on their attire.

• Courtney: “I think a little... I think you could pull short mullet.” [42:34]
• Shane: “I did wear the pizza place shirt.” [38:14]

They brainstorm ideas for a potential beauty channel, discussing playful concepts like "Smosh Glam" and humorous competitions such as typing races.

• Courtney: “Let's call it Smosh Glam.” [51:24]
• Damien: “Beauty Smosh Booty. Subscribe.” [51:47]

6. Lighthearted Banter: Caffeine, Kombucha, and Daily Quirks

The conversation meanders through various amusing topics, including the effects of caffeine, the merits and misconceptions about kombucha, and humorous takes on daily habits.

• Shane: “Everything's good for you and everything's bad for you.” [58:22]
• Courtney: “I can barely say it.” [27:01]

They share personal preferences and funny anecdotes, adding a comedic flair to the discussion.

7. 'Ian's Funny News' Segment

In this poignant segment, the hosts discuss the controversial figure Ian, who founded the largest gay conversion therapy camps and has recently come out as gay, denouncing his past actions.

• Courtney: “He's the founder of the largest gay conversion therapy camps, and he just came out as gay.” [68:25]
• Shane: “He probably legitimately ruined a lot of lives.” [69:16]

They reflect on the broader implications of Ian’s revelation, the enduring trauma of those affected by conversion therapy, and the societal shifts towards acceptance.

• Damien: “I feel like that's so weird that I say that because there's literally so many siblings in my family that it's like, yeah...” [25:06]

8. Closing Remarks

The episode concludes with the hosts expressing gratitude towards each other and their audience, reiterating their love and encouraging listeners to engage with their content.

• Shane: “We love you.” [73:07]
• Courtney: “Love you. Goodbye.” [73:23]

They sign off with humorous remarks, leaving listeners anticipating future episodes filled with similar candid and entertaining discussions.

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Notable Quotes:

• “I've been going for about a month now.” – Courtney [02:31]
• “You gotta push through it. You gotta be okay with writing pieces of crap.” – Shane [10:03]
• “It's roughly like $3,000 per class.” – Shane [15:26]
• “Let's call it Smosh Glam.” – Courtney [51:24]
• “He probably legitimately ruined a lot of lives.” – Shane [69:16]

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This episode of Smosh Mouth offers a blend of deep, personal conversations intertwined with the trademark humor and camaraderie of the Smosh team. From mental health journeys and the struggles of creative expression to societal issues and lighthearted banter, Shane, Courtney, and Damien provide listeners with insightful and entertaining content that resonates on multiple levels.

Transcript

[Shane]

Ramble.

[Courtney]

I went, what? To therapy.

[Shane]

My hands suck, though. My handwriting is horrible. People will see it and they'll be like, are you okay?

[Courtney]

What color would you dye your hair?

[Damien]

So I did a little bit of pink for summer games, and I thought it was so crazy, but literally nobody noticed. I have jars of it left, and sometimes I'm like, if I'm bored one night, I'm just gonna dip my head in there. I used to play tennis. I have medals.

[Courtney]

Do you scream when you hit the ball?

[Shane]

Oh.

[Damien]

Ah.

[Shane]

Ah.

[Courtney]

No. Just say no. Yeah. Black tea can have between 40 and 120 milligrams of caffeine, which I don't believe.

[Shane]

And when you drink it, you have to sound like this when you drink black tea.

[Damien]

Really?

[Shane]

You have to. It's a legal requirement.

[Courtney]

No, it's all over the place.

[Shane]

If I drink black tea, I have to sound like dish. Have you heard what Boris Johnson said this week? Sip tea. *.

[Damien]

Siptea.

[Courtney]

Welcome, everybody, to the 30th episode of the Smosh Cast 30.

[Damien]

Flirty and thriving Dirty 30.

[Shane]

For the Smosh cast, it's ready to have one last party before it gets settled down.

[Courtney]

Farty 30. Is that another one that they call farty 40? Oh, farty 40 thing.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Do people celebrate farty 40 and then it's shitty 50. Shitty 50.

[Damien]

Shifty 50.

[Shane]

Sexy 60.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

And then dead 70.

[Damien]

Oh, my God.

[Courtney]

Welcome to episode 30 of the smoshcast. It's been a while since it's just been us three just, like, hanging out. Just like, talking about a lot of crazy life stuff.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

I feel like we haven't been able to sit down, just the three of us, since before Smosh Summer Games. Yeah. And so much has happened in our lives since that moment. I've been waiting for a podcast to mention this, but I went, what? To therapy.

[Damien]

That's a boy.

[Courtney]

That's a boy.

[Shane]

Wow. That's a self improvement boy.

[Damien]

That's my boy.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Dude, that's really great, man. Congratulations.

[Courtney]

Thank you.

[Shane]

How does it feel?

[Courtney]

Feels fine.

[Shane]

How many sessions have you had?

[Courtney]

I've been going for about a month now.

[Shane]

That's great.

[Courtney]

Yeah. Which is like. It was aggravating because, like, I went probably shortly after Smosh Summer Games, and I'm like, ah, I can't talk about it on the podcast for so long. Thanks.

[Damien]

Oh, yeah. I perped away from the microphone.

[Courtney]

We all heard the bear position.

[Shane]

It's. There's no way to hide it.

[Damien]

I was away from the microphone, but that dude. Sorry to steal Your thunder with my literal tummy thunder. But so proud of you. Yeah, that sucks. We literally couldn't update Smosh Peeps. Smosh fam.

[Courtney]

I know.

[Damien]

Listeners.

[Courtney]

That girl's just been hitting the whoa forever. Actually, I think she gave up. So there was. There was. There was a girl on Twitter that was hitting the whoa every day that I didn't go to therapy.

[Damien]

And.

[Courtney]

And I felt really bad because I didn't want to reveal that I was going to therapy until I got the chance to say so on the podcast because I felt like that was the appropriate venue for it. So I think she gave up.

[Damien]

She might have. Okay. I might have, like. Cause the DMs can be crazy sometimes. I can't remember it was an Instagram request or something, but I remember seeing someone be like, hey, it's me. I'm hitting the whoa. But, like, I don't know if I can keep doing this.

[Shane]

It takes a toll on the body.

[Damien]

Going too hard.

[Shane]

Yeah. They've shown that it can. It can really impact your bones.

[Damien]

You can say woes. Cause a lot of woes.

[Shane]

Wow. Whoa. Wow.

[Damien]

I'm surprised you didn't say that.

[Courtney]

Shoot, dude.

[Damien]

Shoot, dude. Hey, don't shoot dude me with a woe joke. Come on.

[Shane]

Shoot, duded. I think it's good that you went for about a. For a few sessions before talking about it publicly, though.

[Courtney]

Like, that's true.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Damien]

You like the person so far?

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Yeah, she's cool. People have asked me, like, how it's going. I'm like, I don't really have any frame of reference because I've never had a therapist before.

[Shane]

Well, nobody's therapy is gonna be the same as anyone else's.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Like, it's gonna be completely individual. And it is weird. The first sessions are always really weird. Cause you're kinda like, what do I talk about?

[Damien]

That's so funny. Cause my first session I was like, okay, so here's all my worst fears. Here's what I wanna figure out. Also, am I crazy? Fourth. Like, I literally was like, here it is. And luckily she was down. But I think it's different for other people too, where it's like, you don't even know where you want to start.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Shane]

I feel like. Usually I feel like for most people, the thing they will need to talk about is something that they don't think they need to talk about, generally, is my opinion. I mean, it's different for everybody, but it's often the things that you don't think are a problem that end up Becoming. You're like, oh, I didn't realize that was a thing. I didn't realize that was deep down there.

[Damien]

Or like, that somehow everything that you're worried about or going wrong in your life is connected. That stuff freaks me out. Or I'll go into a therapy session, be like, okay, I need to talk about this, this, and this. And I'll go in, touch on those a little bit. And then all of a sudden, something I didn't realize. It's all about them asking the right questions and leading you to the right place sometimes. And we'll go in for almost the entire session talking about something I didn't even know I was thinking about.

[Courtney]

Cause I feel like so much of therapy is, like, related to whatever happened in your childhood. And I feel like, for me, I don't have the best memory. So it's like, oh, what about this? And I'm like, I don't even. I can't even give you an honest answer, lady. Cause I don't remember.

[Damien]

Do you take time to brain blast?

[Courtney]

At least do a little brain blast?

[Damien]

Give your brain a second.

[Shane]

You take a Super Soaker, you aim it at your ear.

[Damien]

No.

[Shane]

And you shoot it straight through your brain.

[Damien]

Yeah, I have the same thing. I can't remember a lot of my childhood.

[Shane]

I just don't think about my childhood a lot. And then I'll suddenly think about it like, oh, my God, that story or whatever. I think it's just. I think our lives move a million miles per minute, so we don't sit back and think about past stuff. It's why journaling's really important. So that you can keep track of stuff and you keep track of your day and you can look back on that.

[Damien]

Dang it. I forgot to write my journal last night.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Giving us more material.

[Damien]

No.

[Shane]

Do you?

[Damien]

No. But journals are great, though.

[Courtney]

Any new Johnny stories you're writing down?

[Damien]

Yeah, I mean, I still. We're friends on Facebook still.

[Shane]

Wow. Johnny Tsunami.

[Damien]

Can't believe. Can you believe the one that got away?

[Shane]

He rode that wave out of my life and my heart.

[Damien]

But I'm proud of you, my guy. You said you were gonna wanted to do it, and you did it. Just doing that anything is great.

[Shane]

Really great. And also, we look, you know, maybe we have a sketch coming out soon about Ian and Damian going to therapy.

[Courtney]

Yeah, I feel like. I don't know if you guys wrote that before I went.

[Shane]

I think we. I think I wrote it before you went, and then you went. And then we filmed it, I think. But yeah, it takes a lot of turns. It's a good one.

[Courtney]

Oh, it certainly does. I'm excited to see how that video turns out. It's not edited yet, but we shot it, like, last week. Was it?

[Shane]

Yeah, it was intense. And, you know, many travelers have entered that sketch, and not many have returned. So, you know, just. I don't know. Just giving you a little taste of what's to come.

[Damien]

Is it just you? Did you mainly, like, was it just you or was it you and Damian?

[Shane]

I think I. I think it was, like, me, infinity and Monica.

[Damien]

Yeah, well, it's always gonna be right, right, right.

[Shane]

But, yeah, I mean, it was. I don't think Ian and no, I think I surprised you guys with that one.

[Courtney]

Yeah, I stayed far away from that sketch. I was like, I have no idea what you're gonna write, but I'm sure it'll be. It came from here. So basically, you guys talked about it so much, and I just lived in my head with. I wanted a sketch with you and Damian going to therapy, and I wanted a sketch with secret character involved. So I walked in one day. I was like, I think this could become this. And I was like, shane, I wanted this to happen. Go to town. And he went to town, and it was perfect. And then he and I just kind of finished it, which was great. But it was directly from the meets Secret Character Podcast Is bringing a lot.

[Damien]

Of those to life.

[Shane]

Pretty insane. It was fun. It was fun.

[Damien]

I wrote my first gripped sketch in a while. That's not an ebe. That was. We haven't shot it yet, so I don't know if we should talk about it, but it feels good when you can actually. Cause I had a serious blockage for a while. My brain. Gross. My left side of my brain was constipated.

[Shane]

God.

[Damien]

This is what I'm drinking coffee to make it better.

[Courtney]

Sorry.

[Shane]

A brain diuretic.

[Courtney]

And I think also writing is so cathartic. Like, I feel like a lot of the angers that I have about, you know, the Internet and whatever. It's fun to get out more.

[Damien]

Cause you're a creative outlet. When I was a kid, I wanted to be a writer, but it's like, it was one of those things that's like, ooh. I also wanted to be a rock star. So both of those were just gonna go under the pillow and not gonna be actually pursued. But I wanted to write books and stories, like fantasy and stuff like that. But now we're writing sketch comedy still.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

A lot of people don't Even take that first step of. Of writing because. Because they. They'll write like one page and they'll be like, oh, but it's not perfect. It's like, it's not about being perfect. You're not gonna. I mean, I'm. I'm sure. I'm sure, you know, J.K. rowling wrote some serious turds before she wrote Harry Potter.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Like, you know, you gotta. You gotta just. You gotta just put it down on paper and like, and. And you just get better with time. It's a craft like anything else.

[Shane]

Y. Yeah. It's one of those weird skills that people expect to kind of just be good at right off the bat. And it's kind of like you just can't pick up a basketball and be stubborn.

[Courtney]

James.

[Shane]

Yeah, exactly. But for some reason, and I mean, I'm guilty of it too. I'm such a perfectionist with writing. Like, I'll write something, I'll be like, well, that's the worst thing I've ever seen, so I should never do this again. You gotta push through it. You gotta be okay with writing pieces of crap. You gotta write a bunch of pieces of crap.

[Courtney]

Yeah, yeah.

[Damien]

Go, go. No, no, no.

[Courtney]

I was saying that. And that's why, like, I. You know people for even writing things like weird fan fiction about us. It's like, yeah, it's. It's a creative. It's a creative outlet, and you only get better with time. And, you know, if you never take that first step on a creative pursuit, then you're always going to stay at level one.

[Shane]

I'm pretty sure the longest piece of fiction ever written is a Super Smash Bros. Fan fiction. I'm pretty sure, I. Not too long ago that it's technically, it's the longest word count of anything that we know, but. And the guy writing it was like, you know, I was learning English. Like, it's. English is a second language. He's like, it's how I'm. It's helping me improve with that. And it's fun. And he just keeps going. And.

[Damien]

Is it romantic?

[Shane]

I don't know. I just know it's a Super Smash Brothers fan fiction. I'm pretty sure it's Super Smash Brothers, which is a very interesting.

[Damien]

I think I've heard about that.

[Shane]

There's not a fan fiction I've read where I'm like, oh, this is a waste of time. Like, it's all great. You're improving your vocabulary and creativity and whatever.

[Damien]

For me, it was a lot of, like, escapism when I Was younger, like, writing, like, very bored and unhappy with where I was in freshman year of high school or whatever. And just writing where I wish I was or, like, what I wish would have happened to me or, like, a different world. And it was just, like, cool to put it all on paper and then I could go back and read it again and, like, be there again. Yeah. You've been trying to write a pilot.

[Shane]

For, like, ever, and I can't. It's about pushing through that perfectionism. It's brutal. Cause I will put in a ton of work and then scrap it all. I've done that many times.

[Damien]

You shouldn't scrap, Em. You should keep them in a box like I do with my diaries, and then we can dramatic read them.

[Shane]

Yeah, maybe. Maybe. I don't know.

[Courtney]

Yeah, but I mean, Shane, you're also, like. You got so much other crap you're doing right now.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Like, you. You're back. You're back on the Goldbergs. They brought, like. We can talk about that, right?

[Shane]

Yeah, I'm back.

[Courtney]

They brought the JTP crew back.

[Shane]

Yeah. I've filmed a couple episodes, got a few more that I know I'll be filming soon. It's a lot of fun. It's just a lot of work. Like yesterday, I filmed for about 12, 13 hours.

[Courtney]

Whoa.

[Shane]

Yeah. But it was only the one day. And I always have fun. It's. It's. It's relatively easy because there, I'm just an actor. So I'll film a scene. We get like two hours where we're just in our trailers, and then film another scene, another hour or so in the trailer. So it's not that tough. But, yeah, it's just like another focus. And then I am a month out from graduating college, so I'm excited.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Shane]

So we're gonna celebrate. I think once I'm done with. Once I'm done with school, then I will be able to, like, focus. Cause I think it's tough for me to work on stuff after work because I know I have these due dates every week. I know I have a quiz and one more thing I gotta do by tonight. So I'm like, okay, I have to get that done. And then once I get that done, then I don't wanna be like, okay, now to sit down and write something. Now I'm like, I wanna play Super Smash Brothers.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Damien]

And write more fan fiction.

[Shane]

That's where my head's out. Yeah, exactly. Are you the guy Lucario turned to Mario and said, this love is forbid.

[Damien]

I will say I feel like I've said this to you a couple times, but it's like you are living the equivalent of three lives in la. Like you are a person who is in a full time office job here. You're also someone who's pursuing school and trying to get their bachelor's. Also someone who's pursuing acting just in LA and has a TV show gig. Like, I don't understand how you're able to juggle all those things.

[Shane]

I think the unfortunate result sometimes is that I end up half assing all three. Like instead of being able to full ass one of them, you know?

[Courtney]

And you're not leaving any time to slang dong.

[Damien]

He slangs dong. Half ass.

[Shane]

Yeah, they slang half an ass.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Shane]

I don't even know what that means.

[Damien]

Just one cheek.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Oh God.

[Damien]

I know exactly what that means.

[Shane]

It's definitely. It can be a lot. Like, I'm just tired every week, but it's. I'm almost done. Like, I'm just pushing through. I was actually. It was earlier this year where I debated. I had four classes left. I debated on just being like, should I just stop and just forget college and just leave it there? And then my parents were like, you should just finish it. And I'm like, yeah. And I've spent. I've spent so. Dude, it's so much money. It is like, it is thousands of dollars per class. It's absurd.

[Courtney]

Per class?

[Shane]

Really? Per class? Yeah. That is, that is college. It is roughly like, look, I'm down to throw out the numbers because it's nuts what people are paying, but it's roughly like $3,000 per class.

[Damien]

Oh my God.

[Shane]

And that is not as. That's not. There are so many more expensive colleges.

[Courtney]

How many classes do you.

[Shane]

That's four classes. It's four classes per semester for so. And you know, I don't know, I can't do the math right here, but. But that's why people are in their student debt lasts a whole life.

[Courtney]

Oh yeah.

[Shane]

I mean people I know. I have friends who, you know, only took like a year or so at a school and then are still paying off student debt. It lasts forever. Shoot, dude, I know, I know. I think it's too much. And then textbooks are like 300 bucks.

[Courtney]

Oh yeah.

[Shane]

And I have all these textbooks now that I'm like, well, I can't sell.

[Courtney]

And you're not even. And you're not even paying like room and board there.

[Shane]

Exactly.

[Courtney]

No, I mean, you have an apartment that you have to pay for.

[Shane]

Right. But it still sucks. And I Think it reached a point where I'm like, I've already dropped. Already dropped so much money, I might as well finish this out or else it was a waste. So. But it's fun. I'm loving it. I love learning stuff. So it's.

[Courtney]

What's the coolest thing? What are you learning right now? What's the thing? Paleontolic.

[Shane]

So because my last class got to be an elective of my choice, I chose Buried Cities and Lost Tribes. It's a basic anthropology class. I had to write a discussion post last night about why I believe lithics were the greatest invention of, like, early humans. You know, what's a lithic? Why don't you guys guess what lithics are?

[Damien]

Ice cream cones.

[Shane]

So these are. We're talking, you know, in the period of 2 million years ago to about 100,000 years ago.

[Courtney]

2 million.

[Shane]

2 million years ago to 100,000 years ago. Like, in that period, what were the best?

[Courtney]

They probably only had, like, vanilla or chocolate ice cream.

[Damien]

I wonder if they had ice cream cones back then. Do you think they did? Yeah. Do you think they were able to make that? Do you think they had fire back then?

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Do you think fire existed?

[Courtney]

I don't think fire was around back then.

[Shane]

Yeah. Fire didn't happen.

[Damien]

Did they have fire?

[Courtney]

They probably had, like, the iPhone3 at that point. Yeah.

[Shane]

IPhone3. Film quality was garbage. Lithic vine was still around.

[Courtney]

So you said the lithic was the lithics.

[Shane]

Like, it's. Yeah, but, like, lithic, you're talking about.

[Courtney]

Like, cave paintings or carvings.

[Damien]

Lithics are like pencils.

[Shane]

Are those your final answers?

[Damien]

Writing devices is my final answer.

[Shane]

Okay. So unless I get an F on this, this discussion post, lithics are essentially like. Like stone flakes and, like, hand axes and stuff. So it's just. It's essentially the intro to the Stone Age of, like, using stone tools.

[Courtney]

So the first tools.

[Shane]

So it was the first time they would use bones and stuff to chip off flakes off stones, to be able to use those flakes for skinning and spears and hand axes to chop more stuff. And I was saying that. And I mean, it's acknowledged that that's. It's the beginning of technology. You can trace that to computers now. Like our beginning of harnessing materials on an advanced level. It's pretty cool. It's an honestly awesome class. And what's really weird also is how many versions of humans. Not humans, because we evolved from one. But, like, you had Neanderthals, which were a completely different thing. Like, there was a period of time where there were competing versions of what we are now. You know, it's fascinating because I think we kind of. We have this idea of like, yes, we're this one species that just came and we. But no, there were many versions, so it's fascinating. And we evolved from one of them.

[Damien]

That's crazy.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Damien]

That's why I feel like I missed out on colleges, because, like, that stuff, it's so cool.

[Shane]

College is really awesome because there's some really cool classes. Like, you know, you go from just basics to. I mean, studying psychology was awesome. Like, my last class was forensic psychology, which was all about employing psychologists in court, you know, and we're talking like Jeffrey Dahmer's case and all these other horrible but fascinating cases and deciding whether those people were insane or not or whether they're fit to stand trial or not. And it's insane. Literally. Literally insane.

[Damien]

Ha ha ha.

[Courtney]

Who is. Do you think Jeffrey Dahmer was insane?

[Shane]

There's some fascinating arguments that he wasn't or that he was. Because it all comes down to if they suffer from a disease of mind and whether they're, you know, they have. They're demonstrating mens rea, which is like understanding what they did at the time. So insanity is more about at the time they committed their crime, were they insane or not? Were they in their right mind? And I think a lot of people decided that he was, but there were arguments on both sides.

[Courtney]

So, like, if he were to smear himself in his own feces before he murdered someone, that would be insane, because why would he do that?

[Shane]

Not necessarily. Not necessarily an activity, because if he's smothering himself in feces, but he knows the date and time, he knows exactly what he's doing. He knows the exact consequences of what he's doing. Is he insane? Just because an act we deem is. I mean, murdering someone is also, you would say is insane. But if someone knows, I know that I'm killing this person, and I know I'm gonna go to jail for it, and I know that I'm causing harm to this person. That's not an insane person. They know fully. They're fully conscious of what they're doing. That's what psychologists get in debates about. And obviously it's a debate. There's no surefire answer.

[Damien]

But if they were like, oh, like the sky people told me, right?

[Shane]

So there was. There was an unfortunate case of a woman. This is a well known case. I don't know, I forget her name. She Drowned all of her children.

[Damien]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane]

And. But she, they decided, they deemed her insane because she fully believed that if she didn't do it, her children were gonna go to hell. She believed she was being told to do this to save them. And they, they did evaluate her and decide like she really, truly believed this.

[Courtney]

Was this Andrea Yates?

[Shane]

Yes. Yes. And so, and they were like, she wasn't doing this and making an excuse. She really believed she was doing something good.

[Damien]

It's the morals and things behind what they're doing.

[Shane]

Yeah. It's the intentions now, given she's still put in a hospital for the rest of her life. You know, like, you're not set free.

[Courtney]

Well, she didn't mean it.

[Shane]

Right, right. There's, you know, and often cases, if you're deemed insane, it's. People are often mad about that because they go, no, he should be punished. Whatever. I think generally when they're deemed insane, they spend more time like they're less likely to ever be, you know, out on the streets ever again. So. Yeah, it's a, it's a fascinating class. It's a rough subject because there's not really, like, no one's going to be happy with whatever answer happens, you know, so.

[Courtney]

Dang.

[Shane]

Anyways, so that's college.

[Damien]

Smart boy.

[Courtney]

Yeah, that's, that's cool though. I mean, I mean, yeah, because we're, we're talking, we're talking outside of here about pyramid schemes and we're saying those are pretty insane. Some people, some people say like college is a pyramid scheme or whatever, but we don't. I mean, like, I think it's, I think it's silly. There's some guy that's like, that's like there's no point in going to college. I'm like, what, what are you talking about?

[Shane]

I agree. I think the price, it sucks to put a price tag on knowledge, I think is unfair. I think knowledge should be something that everyone has complete access to. To be aw. The world that you're living in should be a. Right. But it's a lot of work. So I understand there has to be a price, but I think the amount is so nuts.

[Courtney]

Yeah, yeah, for sure. It's like, I mean like our parents were able to work a part time job. Not everybody, but like, yeah, a lot of our parents were able to work a part time job and pay off their college while they were going.

[Shane]

My grandpa literally like paid for college while he was. Yeah, that's what he did. And I think that should be the case. I think you should be able to pay it off more reasonably. And I think we have a lot. There's a lot of consequences from it not being available because there's that video on Twitter. I don't know if you saw the hurricane was coming in there. Interviewing that guy in Florida and he's like, this is insane. Why don't we have the Air Force or something fly their jets in a circle opposite of the hurricane to cancel it out? And he truly believed this. And I'm like, this is what we like. No, because that guy fully believed it.

[Courtney]

He.

[Shane]

You can't fault him for really thinking that's an answer.

[Courtney]

Hold on, hear me out though. Big fans.

[Shane]

Big fans. And they also. There was a hurricane. They had to remind people not to shoot their guns at a hurricane because bullets will come back, the hurricane will. And there was a tweet that was like, I'm sorry, I'm laughing at the thought of confused Floridians thinking that the hurricane is shooting back.

[Courtney]

But I'm like, I'm like, this is.

[Shane]

The, like, global warming is to me a result of us not understanding peer reviewed journals, not understanding research, not understanding the importance of the scientific method. Because people don't have. A lot of people just simply don't have access to that knowledge. So of course they're going about things and believing things a certain way.

[Courtney]

Well, I think it's also a lack of trust of the government as well.

[Shane]

Right. Well, lack of trust of science too.

[Courtney]

And science. But that. That in turn goes along with the kind of people that don't believe in science. Also don't trust anything else and they would prefer to trust or themselves thing on Facebook. So I wouldn't say climate change is a result of people not knowing that, but it's certainly not being helped by the people that aren't listening to scientists for sure.

[Shane]

For sure.

[Courtney]

And it's a big old frickin bummer.

[Damien]

A lot of kids in my family, I say a lot of kids are really. I feel like that's so weird that I say that because there's literally so many siblings in my family that it's like, yeah, in that community, a lot of us were like, oh, like I'm not even gonna bother trying to go to college. Cause we couldn't afford it anyway.

[Shane]

That's a lot of people, man.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And it's a lot. It puts you in a bind.

[Damien]

But I feel like community college is a thing. So for those people listening or watching, don't just give up on college.

[Courtney]

Yeah, dude.

[Damien]

You know, there's community College. And there's other ways of doing it, so don't let money stop you.

[Courtney]

You know, that's what I did. I did community college.

[Damien]

Same.

[Shane]

It's great. It really is. And associates.

[Courtney]

I dropped out, but, yeah, I did, too.

[Damien]

Yeah, but it was a great option. Like, I was fully given the same education that, like, I probably would have gotten.

[Courtney]

And I mean, like, it doesn't really matter where you went to college first. It just matters where you got your diploma. So you can go first two years at some community college and then do the last two years at Stanford, and then, wow, look at that. You saved, like, 80 grand and you got the same education.

[Damien]

Yeah, a little bit.

[Shane]

And also, learning anything is just great. And honestly, on community college level, an associate's degree is super valuable. Like, it's very, very valuable.

[Courtney]

Also, like, learning is just actually fun when you get to college. Like, I hated public. I did not have fun learning there. And then once I went to college and actually, I got to, like, choose the things I wanted to learn.

[Shane]

Right?

[Courtney]

I was like, oh, actually, like, I'm enjoying the things I'm learning. Aside from, like, the. The, you know, required math class and stuff. But, no, I was. I was pretty stoked about learning things.

[Shane]

Yeah, it's weird. It's super fun. It's really great.

[Courtney]

Learning is fun.

[Damien]

Yeah, that's fun. Hey, kids, learn. I love Mavis Beacon.

[Shane]

What?

[Damien]

Mavis Beacon. I talk about it a lot on Slosh Yo.

[Courtney]

Mavis Beat.

[Damien]

Guys.

[Courtney]

Mavis Beacon.

[Shane]

What's Mavis Beacon? How have I never.

[Damien]

The fun. Typing. Learning. You should download it on your computer. Yes, it's like a computer game, but you learn typing.

[Courtney]

Yo, if Mavis Beacon comes in here, homegirl could, like, get it, get it.

[Damien]

She hot. Mavis. Holler at me.

[Courtney]

BB what's so funny about Mavis Beacon? Is so. It's. They. Every. So every new rendition of the Mavis Beacon teaches typing. Beepkin. Mavis Beacon teaches typing. They use the same model.

[Damien]

I think it's her. I think that's Mavis. Like, she. She created this idea. I think.

[Courtney]

I think she was just, like, a stock photo model.

[Damien]

We've talked about this.

[Shane]

What is. I don't. I don't know what this is. It's like.

[Damien]

It teaches you typing. Well, first. Okay. So when I was in elementary school, we had a computer lab session once a week, and it was awesome. We first learned we had to go through ultra key, which was, like, the not fun, but basic fundamentals of learning faster typing. And then once you got good enough At Ultra Key. Then you got to do Mavis Beacon. That had games where it's like, ooh, you gotta type in these words fast enough or you're gonna get eaten by this shark in the middle of the ocean.

[Shane]

Oh, cool.

[Damien]

Or basically Asteroids. But it's typing.

[Shane]

That's awesome.

[Damien]

It was really fun. And I got so fast at typing.

[Shane]

You are a fast typ.

[Damien]

Thanks. Sometimes I see you and you're doing the thumb and.

[Shane]

Oh, I'm a garbage typer. I'm a garbage typer. My hands suck though. Like, my handwriting is horrible. People will see it and they'll be like, are you okay?

[Courtney]

I found this Vice article says, what's Mavis Beacon up to these days? Nothing. She's fake.

[Damien]

Really?

[Courtney]

She was just a model.

[Damien]

Aww.

[Shane]

Insane.

[Courtney]

No, her name is. I had it. Renee. I'm gonna fuck this up. Marvis Bacon, Renee. Marvis Bacon.

[Shane]

Marvis Bacon.

[Damien]

Can we create?

[Courtney]

It's Renee L'Esperance. She's a.

[Damien]

Does she have an Instagram? Yeah.

[Courtney]

Haitian born model.

[Damien]

Can we do a Smosh games video where me and Shane play Mavis Beacon?

[Shane]

Honestly, that's actually a really.

[Damien]

I've been wanting to do a Mavis Beacon.

[Shane]

I'm down for. I'm down for a Mavis Beacon competition. Who's the fastest typer?

[Courtney]

Oh, I would lose.

[Shane]

Yeah, Courtney's gonna destroy. But honestly, I don't know. There's some. Mari could be a super fast typer. We don't know. Yeah, she's constantly just emailing it up.

[Courtney]

But, you know, we gotta do. We gotta do two. We gotta do two competitions. One is computer and one is texting.

[Shane]

Oh, I'm gonna fail. I'm gonna fail both. Both of those. I'm garbage at both. I'm bad at typing stuff, man. That's why when I'm in the office, I will get out of my office, I will walk over to people and say stuff to them. They'll be like, why didn't you slack that to me? And I'll be like, cause I'm better at talking. Cause I'm typing stuff.

[Courtney]

Did you just say I better at talking?

[Shane]

I better at talking than speech writing.

[Damien]

It's crazy, though. Cause I would not know your handwriting because we never do that around here.

[Shane]

No, nobody does.

[Damien]

That's crazy.

[Shane]

It's almost like I'm very proud of that. We're not using the pony express anymore here. I'm gonna write this letter. Do you mind getting on your horse and bringing it on over to Damien in the other room?

[Courtney]

Courtney you know, I think the pony express is a better invention than lithographs.

[Shane]

Hey, all of that was wrong. I want to learn shorthand. That's what I should do. Shorthand. Get some long fingernails.

[Damien]

Go work for a Mad Men.

[Shane]

Yeah, exactly.

[Courtney]

Internet detention was fun. Yeah, it was the latest Internet detention episode three. Everyone had a great role on there. One funny thing about Brianna Boho's character is Brianna, bro. Sorry, Brianna.

[Shane]

All of us say Brianna.

[Damien]

Yeah, it's fucking Brianna.

[Shane]

You really. You are really defensive about.

[Courtney]

Yeah, she gets really heated about this.

[Shane]

Well, it makes sense.

[Damien]

You guys are like, oh, everybody loves Brianna. And like, what the fuck? You don't even know who she is.

[Shane]

Everybody loves Banana Boho.

[Courtney]

So the strange thing about Brianna Boho is it's sort of like this really, like, over the top version of Tana.

[Shane]

Mongeau mainly, except for Tana sometimes tops her.

[Courtney]

Except recently I went to Tana's Twitter and she made a post that was so Brianna Boh. It was more Brianna Boho than anything. And we're probably gonna have to censor it. We're probably gonna have to censor this. But I have a tweet right here. And she says, I'm serious. Nothing makes my tight little pussy get wetter than a Delta 1 seat on a plane.

[Shane]

That is literally a line we would. That's a line we would write for Brianna and then be like, we can't say that. It's a little too far. You just gotta respect Tana. Like, she just goes for it. Like, she really doesn't hold back.

[Damien]

How many likes does it have?

[Shane]

550K?

[Courtney]

30,000.

[Shane]

Wow.

[Damien]

That's. All right.

[Shane]

Not bad, not bad.

[Courtney]

But I'm just like. I just. I guess it's weird for me because I know that she has a lot of kids that watch her stuff.

[Shane]

And I'm like, yeah, it's a lot of young people.

[Damien]

Yeah, dude.

[Courtney]

But also, I'm sure the kids have seen way worse on the Internet maybe. So it doesn't really matter.

[Damien]

I mean, I can't even say it. I can't even say that tweet.

[Courtney]

I can barely say it.

[Shane]

See, nothing makes my ass sweatier than a Southwest seat.

[Courtney]

You know, Nothing makes my ball sack hairier than Todd's oneier.

[Shane]

Ew. God.

[Damien]

If you give me the wig and the nails and the high heel boots.

[Shane]

I might be able to see you literally change. It's weird. You put on that wig and all of a sudden your facial expression, everything changes, really? On and off camera. It's so nuts. You Commit so hard to it.

[Damien]

I will say when I'm missing certain pieces of her wardrobe or like, her look, I don't feel right. I don't feel the same. And the performance, like, even the most recent episode of Internet detention, I didn't have on thigh high boots and it bothered me. Or if I'm like, what's missing? Like, what's wrong? I'm like, I need gum. Like, there's things that like, I need. And like when I have all those things, that's when I'm like literally harassing you guys off camera and stuff. Because, yeah, she is here. I think she's just this ghost that has realized that I'm a vehicle that she can use when she feels extra hoe y. Olivia.

[Courtney]

Olivia brought it too. I love that she somehow managed to do full Botox face for that whole thing. Her face is just like.

[Damien]

Yeah, the smizing or what is that called when the girls do that? That's like an Instagram thing when girls just barely pull on their head.

[Shane]

Oh, I didn't realize.

[Damien]

It's a lifestyle and it just makes them look like. Makes you look hotter, I guess. Wait, look.

[Courtney]

Wow.

[Damien]

Good.

[Courtney]

Whoa.

[Damien]

I did it, guys.

[Courtney]

Whoa.

[Damien]

I leveled up.

[Courtney]

Hold on, let me.

[Damien]

No, no, you gotta do. You gotta do a gentle tug back.

[Shane]

Can you guys describe what you're doing for the audio?

[Damien]

Okay. Yeah. So we're basically putting our two index and middle fingers on our temples and pulling back.

[Courtney]

I feel like this is gonna look a little racist.

[Shane]

We're squeezing our faces like the guy in Men in black like this.

[Damien]

It just gently lips lifts the face. We're voguing like Gigi Hadid in them. They face tune their eyes so that they naturally are being pulled back just a little bit. It makes you look a little more awake and a little more Disney.

[Courtney]

We should always look more awake. Guys, we say right now.

[Damien]

We are opening our eyes.

[Shane]

Always look scared. Always look a little scared.

[Courtney]

Have you ever talked to somebody that had just insanely wide eyes?

[Shane]

And I always feel bad because I'm always just like, you're a little.

[Courtney]

I don't trust them.

[Damien]

Someone I know, but they can't help it. Significant other is like that.

[Shane]

I don't even know who you're talking about.

[Damien]

He's not in this room.

[Shane]

Do they listen to this podcast?

[Damien]

I don't think. I don't think so. Just a person that like, I literally met her once. So it's like I. But like, it's one of those people that makes intense eye contact and is like right Here, like, super close.

[Shane]

It's kind of like a.

[Damien]

And you're like, whoa.

[Shane]

It's kind of like a Tom Cruise you're talking about.

[Damien]

Yes.

[Shane]

It's kind of like. It's kind of the Tom Cruise. It's kind of the Tom Cruise thing, though.

[Damien]

Secrets on the podcast.

[Shane]

Yeah, they. The video version of this will eventually come out and they will see, look, everybody.

[Courtney]

Everybody has a different sort of social thing. But, yeah, it's a little. It's off putting because as humans, we're sort of like, wired. Maybe you could back me up on this. You're the psychology major. But I feel like as humans, like, when something is like, not what we would see, what we would think is natural, our sort of natural reaction is like, this is wrong. Something is weird about this. Ah.

[Shane]

Well, it's. Yeah, it's body language and it's facial expressions.

[Damien]

Yeah. You gotta read other stuff.

[Shane]

It goes against what they're saying and everything. And it's. Yeah, it's a lot of communication without speaking a word. So it will intimidate you or scare you. You'll be like, what's going on?

[Damien]

Or like, I feel insecure because it's like, stop looking at my face for too long. Don't be there. Don't be there. Like, check other shit out, you know? Like, I don't.

[Shane]

Yeah. I'm like, why aren't you looking at my crotch? And they're like, this is a bank, sir. I'm trying to.

[Courtney]

I don't care. Look at my crotch.

[Shane]

TSA never likes when I'm like, look at my crotch.

[Courtney]

Pat it more.

[Shane]

Pat my crotch more.

[Damien]

This episode.

[Shane]

I would like to request a pat down. They're like, please, sir.

[Courtney]

No, again, Again.

[Shane]

Again. Once more. You missed it.

[Damien]

Nothing makes my balls hairier than a TSA agent chatting them.

[Shane]

Oh, God.

[Damien]

How is that gonna get bleeped?

[Courtney]

What? Balls. We could say balls.

[Shane]

We can say balls. Tennis balls.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Damien]

Yeah. You don't know what. Balls?

[Courtney]

Yeah. You could have hairy tennis balls.

[Shane]

Yeah. Tennis balls are hairy.

[Damien]

Yeah. What is the deal with that?

[Shane]

You know, it's just a thing. Don't.

[Courtney]

Yeah. Why did somebody decide to put hair on a tennis ball?

[Damien]

It's actually really nice. I used to play tennis.

[Shane]

It's actually really nice.

[Damien]

I used to play tennis. I have medals.

[Shane]

Did you really win medals? I didn't know you were a good tennis player.

[Damien]

I was like, 11.

[Courtney]

Can we play tennis?

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Would you still be really good at tennis?

[Damien]

I think so. A little bit. My cardio is not as good.

[Courtney]

Do you Scream when you hit the ball.

[Damien]

I breathe. Oh.

[Courtney]

Ah.

[Damien]

Who?

[Shane]

No.

[Courtney]

Just say no.

[Damien]

Yeah, dad, It's a me.

[Shane]

Every time. Psych him out. They're like, is he Mario? Is this Mario? Tennis stars.

[Damien]

Super smash.

[Shane]

Solid game. Haven't played it in a minute.

[Courtney]

Oh, man. Mario sports.

[Shane]

Mario Tennis is the jam.

[Courtney]

I want to play tennis. Let's do it.

[Damien]

I will wear a skirt. Will you wear a skirt?

[Courtney]

Yes.

[Shane]

Okay. Two part Smosh games video one is Mavis Beacon. Second round tennis to determine the ultimate champion.

[Courtney]

Yeah. The greatest championship of all time.

[Shane]

Mavis Beacon in tennis.

[Damien]

Yes, please.

[Courtney]

Shane, you've been dressing like a maniac recently.

[Shane]

Yeah, I've trying to just, you know, I realized in this sphere, we can wear whatever we want. It would be too weird for me to try to dress up like an office job. Right.

[Damien]

It'd be so ugly.

[Shane]

It doesn't work. Right. But I realized I'm like, there's no dress code. So I wore overalls the other week. I'm wearing colorful shirts.

[Courtney]

It wasn't just like overalls. It was like striped overalls, right?

[Shane]

No, no, it was black overalls.

[Courtney]

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It was black overalls. But you had a white T shirt.

[Shane]

Wore a white T shirt. You looked like a striped shirt.

[Damien]

Oh, you wore pizza place under the overalls.

[Shane]

I did wear the pizza place shirt.

[Courtney]

And then you looked like a painter.

[Shane]

And then I wore a super colorful, a cowboy bebop shirt yesterday or two days ago. Been tucking in shirts. It's a different vibe. Yeah. Matt Robb keeps roasting whatever I wear, and it only encourages me. So.

[Damien]

Yeah, you're too much jean. That's what Jenna Marbles says.

[Shane]

Too much jean.

[Damien]

I will say I feel like I was dressing boring for a long time. Cause back in middle school and high school, I always wanted to be extra and dress and try and be a Lizzie McGuire fashionista. I was all about that. But I definitely was bullied every time I ever, like, is definitely a thing in my school. I've talked about this with you with heels and stuff. Girls at my high school or middle school were made fun of for trying in any way. Fashion was definitely like, ew. You're literally trying so hard to look good today. Ew. And so I feel like that extra ness went away for a long time until I started here. And I definitely. I used to wear the most basic things and have multiple of basic things. And since we started here, I'm like, oh, it's okay. Like, be extra again.

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah. No, it's super fun. And what's funny is. I mean, Sarah, Matt, Rob, and I, we roast each other nonstop. But they're the ones who roast me most for outfits. But Sarah literally dresses like a elementary school folder.

[Damien]

Yes. She's a binder.

[Shane]

She is literally a binder.

[Damien]

There's any third grade binder.

[Courtney]

Yeah. She's like if Lisa Frank did acid.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Damien]

But I will say she's like my fashion muse, though. Like, I think she was the one that inspired me, like, more recent years, mostly. But to try harder.

[Shane]

We've got a lot of super fashionable people in the office. Brennan, our camera guy, is super fashion. He's like a J. Crew classic.

[Courtney]

He's a handsome gentleman.

[Shane]

Yeah. He's like a classic, classic vibe. Monica is similar, but a little bit more outdoorsy.

[Courtney]

And then, well, she can bring out the. She can bust out the city. The city type clothes.

[Damien]

Yeah. She'll surprise you one day, and you're like, whoa.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

I mean, yeah.

[Shane]

And then Sarah. Yeah, Sarah's the neon vomit type. Look.

[Damien]

Glitter puke.

[Shane]

Yeah. Literally. So, yeah, I'm trying to match their game.

[Courtney]

Yeah. I'm waiting for Damian's glow up moment. I'm waiting for when he breaks out.

[Shane]

Yeah. Damian keeps talking. He wants to do, like, his goal is, like, Tokyo street style.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Shane]

That's what he likes.

[Damien]

You gotta like. Cause we. Us three went. Me, Shane, and Damian went shopping recently, and we got to. He at least tried on some really cool pieces. And I was like, I was thriving that day watching you guys get some fashion stuff. I loved it. So I think he's getting there. He's got his.

[Courtney]

Yeah, he's getting there.

[Damien]

He's at least visualizing what he wants.

[Courtney]

He's stepping outside of his comfort zone. Cause I know his comfort zone was just like a printed tee or something.

[Shane]

I think that's a lot of dudes. A lot of us are there, but.

[Courtney]

He'S doing tie dyes and stuff. He's getting there. I'm very interested to see his moment.

[Shane]

You know, if it wasn't for Goldbergs, I would dye my hair too, because he did the whole blue hair thing.

[Damien]

What would you do?

[Courtney]

Wait, what? Really?

[Shane]

If it wasn't for. Yeah, if it wasn't for Goldbergs, I'd probably. I'd probably do something crazy. I'd probably have, like, a mohawk.

[Damien]

Really?

[Shane]

I don't know. I'd do something crazy.

[Courtney]

Oh, no, no. You were talking about doing a mullet.

[Shane]

Oh, yeah, that'd be dope.

[Courtney]

I honestly.

[Shane]

That would be. Honestly pretty sick.

[Courtney]

I think a little. I think like a Short mullet. I think you could pull short mullet.

[Damien]

That's just short hair.

[Courtney]

No, no, like.

[Shane]

Like, it's not super. No, we're not talking, like, down to my. My middle part.

[Courtney]

Not Joe Dirt.

[Shane]

Yeah. I got the poo on me. No, like. Like a mild MacGyver.

[Damien]

Oh, okay.

[Shane]

I see Diet MacGyver.

[Courtney]

Like a. Like a punk rock mullet.

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah. Like, you know, like, I look like. Oh, maybe he's in the Clash.

[Damien]

Mm.

[Shane]

I still hope that reference makes sense.

[Courtney]

Could he grow a mustache?

[Shane]

Ooh. Oh, I would definitely grow a mustache also.

[Damien]

You could.

[Shane]

Boys, are you gonna do mustaches Forever on the Goldbergs? I'm playing, like, an 18 year old, so I can't do that stuff.

[Damien]

But some 18 year olds had some mustaches. You know what I'm saying?

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah. I would love. I'd have a mustache and a mullet. It'll happen someday.

[Damien]

Wow.

[Courtney]

It would make Smosh. Feels a little strange.

[Shane]

That's the problem. Yeah. Jordan Schwartz suddenly has a mustache. Mustache.

[Damien]

Well, when you said that when. Mustache and a mullet. I literally saw. What's the character in. Like, in Redneck Pokemon.

[Shane]

Oh, yeah, that's literally that. I guess that's literally that. What is his name?

[Courtney]

Cooter.

[Damien]

Cooter.

[Shane]

Cooter. Yeah. That would be me.

[Damien]

I still have.

[Shane]

But it'd be natural. Yeah, it'd be different.

[Courtney]

Because the whole reason for us thinking that you would rock a mullet was. What was the photo?

[Shane]

So. So, Cece, we got that photo of me wearing that shirt that's, like, not blue or not green. Everyone's.

[Damien]

It's blue.

[Shane]

Everyone disagrees, and I don't care. Cause it's just a good shirt. But Cece was behind me, holding up some color palettes on the left and right side of me. And in the photo, if you zoom in, you don't see Cece. You just see some of her hair, and it just looks like I have a mullet. And honestly, I look pretty good. I look like the heartland. I look like. What's the name? What's that guy who would sing those patriotic songs?

[Courtney]

Proud to be American.

[Shane]

Yeah. Who sings that?

[Damien]

Clay Aiken.

[Shane]

Yeah. Clay Aiken. I forget, but I look. I look like one of his songs.

[Damien]

Ian, would you do anything new to your hair?

[Courtney]

That's Lee Greenwood.

[Shane]

Lee. I look like. I look like a Lee Greenwood song.

[Courtney]

Would. Would I not.

[Shane]

Lee Greenwood. I look like a Lee Greenwood song. I look. Unfortunately, though, I do look a little bit like a guy who, if someone's not. Is still wearing Their hat during the national anthem back. Take your hat off, because I've seen that before.

[Courtney]

Oh, man.

[Damien]

What would you do if you could do anything new? Have you thought about it?

[Shane]

Which you could. You can.

[Damien]

Like dying cotton.

[Shane]

You should do something nuts.

[Courtney]

I'm not. I'm not into dying. I feel like, man, I'm.

[Damien]

What would happen if you, like, did, like, a three full chops shave?

[Shane]

Oh, I think full chops.

[Damien]

I was thinking, like, shave your head at, like, a three.

[Courtney]

Shave the sides.

[Damien]

Everything.

[Courtney]

Everything Jesse Pinkman style. Oh, my God. No.

[Shane]

Yeah, I don't know about that. I think full chops. I think you go 70s detective.

[Courtney]

Like a buzz cut. You're saying like a buzz cut.

[Damien]

I don't know, man.

[Courtney]

You're saying my hair is that bad that you would rather shave my hair off?

[Damien]

I am literally giving you ideas. I think your hair is great.

[Courtney]

Thank you.

[Damien]

Do you use conditioner?

[Shane]

Mm.

[Damien]

What kind? I feel like I've asked you this on other podcasts.

[Courtney]

I think it's like, ogx.

[Damien]

Cool.

[Shane]

Original X, Original Ecstasy. Have you done a mustache? Like a natural mustache?

[Courtney]

No.

[Shane]

Oh, you can.

[Courtney]

I've done it. I've done a. I took a joke photograph for my driver's license.

[Shane]

Oh, I remember that. The handlebar.

[Courtney]

I did the handlebar. Connected.

[Shane]

That's awesome.

[Courtney]

Connected to my. I think it was connected to my beard. No, no, I shaved. Yeah. My beard and my chin off. So it was just my mustache going down the sides.

[Shane]

I think a simple mustache would be pretty dope.

[Courtney]

Oh, man.

[Shane]

I mean, simple mustache, no eyebrows. So people be like, where'd your eyebrows go? Oh, there they are on your upper lip.

[Courtney]

Just pull off like a Jaden Smith. He shaved his eyebrows off.

[Damien]

He shaves his head on stage, like, regularly.

[Shane]

That's pretty cool.

[Courtney]

I was trying to figure out why he looked like an alien. It's because he got rid of bleaches.

[Damien]

His eyebrows or shaves them.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Damien]

You know, you could try going even shorter on the sides and letting things get longer up top and doing, like, a sleek back situation. I want to see that gq.

[Courtney]

I don't know if I have the hairline for that. For it.

[Damien]

No. Yes, you do.

[Courtney]

Like what? Like what you like, like combat?

[Damien]

Kind of like like a greasy Wall street guy. Cody KO Ish. Like, when he does that.

[Courtney]

Okay.

[Damien]

I feel like you could totally rock that. Go for it. Try it, dude. You have a hairline. Dude, chill.

[Shane]

Or just part down the middle. And always carry a very large lollipop with you.

[Damien]

Could you just comb it all down and then.

[Courtney]

Yeah, yeah, I'll braid it. I'll braid it into one braid that goes down like a Roman helmet.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Damien]

My hair is at the perfect length nowadays sometimes where if I sniff really hard, it accidentally goes up in my nose.

[Courtney]

That's awesome. That's a superpower.

[Damien]

It's not ideal.

[Courtney]

What color would you dye your hair?

[Damien]

I was actually gonna say I. So I did a little bit of pink for summer games, and I thought it was so crazy, but literally nobody noticed.

[Courtney]

We all noticed.

[Damien]

I have jars of it left. And sometimes I'm like, if I'm bored one night, I'm just gonna dip my head in there.

[Shane]

Do it.

[Damien]

But, like, I also want to be able to have my normal hair for sketches. So.

[Courtney]

Word.

[Damien]

I have.

[Courtney]

I like the lavender look.

[Damien]

I have a few color jars that I haven't touched. I think I have a purple, a blue and a lot of pink and some orange. What if I did like a weird orange?

[Shane]

Ooh. Like fifth Element.

[Courtney]

Ooh. Leeloo Dallas multi pass.

[Damien]

I'm doing it. I'm doing it tonight.

[Courtney]

Well. Cause I love the red hair wig that you always wear in, like, sketches. That always looks good.

[Shane]

I think you do look good with red hair.

[Damien]

I want to do red hair. I want to do. I've always wanted to, like, Emma Stone changed my life for that reason. Also. She's a good actress. Whatever.

[Courtney]

But my favorite Asian actress, the thing.

[Shane]

Is, mine's Scarlett Johansson.

[Courtney]

Beg to differ. They're both great Asian actresses.

[Damien]

Well, just seeing the blonde and that they both work. But I know that once I do that, having blonde hair, it's just the upkeep is a bitch. Like, I also. I have blonde eyebrows, so I'll have to either dye them as well or be drawing them red every day or a dark ass color or like. But when my blonde hair, blonde roots come in to red hair, like, what? That's weird. What's that gonna look like?

[Shane]

I mean, if you went to a professional, they would probably give you some good advice.

[Damien]

I just have to keep paying for upkeep is what I'm saying.

[Shane]

Yeah, it's expensive.

[Courtney]

You shave all your hair off.

[Shane]

Whoa.

[Damien]

Doesn't look that good. I have that short red wig, but it's like, it looks good, guys. But it's because that's thick red hair in a wig. And also my hair is giving volume underneath. So it's like, it's not gonna be the same. My hair naturally, like, I forgot to hairspray it today. It's normally very flat and, like, limp. Like I don't. It's not fun. It's not like a. You know, like a. The volume sound.

[Courtney]

Oh, that's the volume sound. Do you get. When you go. When you go to the hairdresser, do you say, I want more in my hair?

[Damien]

Just give me a little.

[Shane]

And they're like, you want to be a horse? Got it.

[Courtney]

She makes your hair into a horse.

[Damien]

Yeah, that's horse girl hair.

[Shane]

Literal horse girl.

[Damien]

We'll see. I might dye my hair orange tonight.

[Courtney]

Do it.

[Damien]

It looks so bad doing it by myself.

[Shane]

Do it.

[Courtney]

Give it a shot.

[Shane]

Do it.

[Damien]

Is it time, guys, for me to dye my hair?

[Shane]

Sounds like a good one of these routine.

[Courtney]

One of these weeks when we don't have a shoot. Do it. Give it a shot.

[Damien]

When do we not have a shoot?

[Shane]

We have. Yeah, we just. We're shooting some, like, personality stuff next week. You could do it.

[Damien]

Should I do it for a video?

[Courtney]

Some pit stuff.

[Damien]

The boys dye my hair. Having fun with my boys.

[Shane]

That would actually maybe be. That would probably do well.

[Damien]

And then I could just go to.

[Shane]

The salon right after for video. Look, we got a lot of good video ideas out of this podcast. We gotta play whatever the.

[Courtney]

The ultimate Mavis Beacon.

[Shane]

Mavis Beacon. Tennis. Dye your hair. And then I'll grow a mullet, and Ian will get a mustache and a Cody KO Cut.

[Courtney]

Cody KO Cut.

[Damien]

Cody cut.

[Courtney]

I mean, I don't really know what that swept back a little bit.

[Damien]

Well, just shorter on the sides and then just, like, let it go a little bit longer and, like, have more fun with what's up top.

[Shane]

You know, we should. Look, look. You dye your hair, you get a mustache in the same video. We just call it Fuck My Shit Up, Fam gold.

[Courtney]

Maybe that'll just be a series where one of us just gets something really fucked up done to us.

[Damien]

Well, I was gonna say, I think we should have a beauty channel. I think we should have a beauty channel.

[Shane]

Damn. Throwing some hard pitches.

[Damien]

What should we call it since we're definitely getting one now?

[Courtney]

Let's call it Smosh Glam.

[Shane]

Smosh Glam.

[Courtney]

Let's call it, like, simply nail smoshing. Nailogical.

[Damien]

Do you think that's smoshological?

[Courtney]

I think that's. I think I have a lot of beauty tips that the world is waiting. Just. Just waiting.

[Damien]

Dude, that would be so cool, though, to do, like, a. Like a beauty channel where we had guy and girl stuff, like, so that you could do, like, guy self care. Girl self care. Like our.

[Courtney]

You seem very excited for this, guys.

[Damien]

What Would we call our beauty channel if we started in for the first time in years, Smosh starts a new channel. Beauty Smosh Booty. Subscribe.

[Shane]

You know what would be interesting is, you know, it'd be a good one for, like, that is, like, all of us bring the colognes or whatever scents we use, and then we have everyone in the office, like, blindly decide and.

[Damien]

Guess who it is, basically, who's using the best.

[Courtney]

And for me, it's just my sweat.

[Shane]

Yeah. Hey, maybe it'll win. You never know. This is some good pitches. You guys listening are in on a good pitch meeting right now.

[Courtney]

Let's change the subject. But we threw some axes yesterday.

[Damien]

We did.

[Shane]

You did?

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Damien]

You didn't get to be a part of it. I'm sorry.

[Shane]

It's fine. I did some cool stuff at Goldberg's. It was cool.

[Damien]

Oh, yeah. Didn't you do something cool?

[Shane]

I can't talk about it. Oh. I can't give away, like, what scenes are.

[Courtney]

Tell us the plot. Who dies in Goldberg?

[Damien]

Who ends up King of the north?

[Courtney]

Does Mr. Goldberg die?

[Damien]

Goldberg Thrones.

[Shane]

Yeah. Kiefer Sutherland comes in, and we have 24 hours to get out of Philly.

[Damien]

That's where it's based. Philadelphia.

[Courtney]

But how, though? But how? Cause you're shooting that. I don't get it. You're shooting that in la. How is it based in Philly?

[Shane]

I don't know.

[Courtney]

I don't get that.

[Shane]

I don't know.

[Courtney]

How does that work?

[Shane]

They actually do a pretty good job of making it seem. Because. Because other shows, like the Office, whenever there's exterior shots, it's like, oh, yeah, this is Pennsylvania. No, that's blatantly Culver City. Yeah.

[Courtney]

It's palm trees.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Seriously.

[Shane]

Seriously.

[Courtney]

I. I thought. I think. I thought for a while that Always Sunny was shot in Philadelphia, but it's like, no, that bar is in downtown la.

[Damien]

Really?

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Same with Friends. Friends is all in LA as well.

[Damien]

The office is in Burbank.

[Shane]

Yeah, a lot of it's in Burbank. So. Wait, you threw axes? Where'd you. Where'd you guys go?

[Damien]

It was for, like, a John Wick thing. Yeah, it was, like, there called lax.

[Shane]

Oh, I've gone there.

[Courtney]

Aw.

[Shane]

Yeah, I've been there.

[Courtney]

Have you thrown axes at lax?

[Shane]

I've thrown axes, yeah. Yeah.

[Damien]

Did you see my story? You didn't watch my Instagram story.

[Shane]

No, but you don't watch the Goldberg, so he will trade. Yeah. Who. Who got the most bullseyes?

[Damien]

Who is Damian? I think.

[Courtney]

I think.

[Shane]

Well, that Tracks.

[Courtney]

I don't know. Damian and I were pretty evenly matched.

[Shane]

Oh, really?

[Courtney]

Yeah. We were nailing that wood pretty hard.

[Damien]

Jesus.

[Courtney]

Yeah. Yeah. Courtney, you got a couple good ones in there.

[Damien]

Yeah, I, like, I would get scared and not want to commit. Like. But every time I was like, yes, I'm committing, I feel confident I would do a good job, but, like, I would just be like, I don't care, and throw, and it would be really bad and embarrassing.

[Courtney]

Yeah, it's. You gotta. You gotta just believe. Yeah, that's part of it. You just gotta, like. It goes for, like, a lot of marksman things. Like, if you're, like. If you're, like, doubting what you're gonna do or you're, like, anticipating the thing, you're gonna be much worse at it. Like, you just gotta follow through. Yeah. We went to a place where you literally just throw axes.

[Damien]

They had brisk. They had iced tea and cookies. Gotta be careful.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Shane]

But you have to earn the cookies.

[Courtney]

I felt. I felt a little. I felt a little bad that I didn't mean to. I wasn't trying to shit talk brisk. Ice tea, but it's definitely not tea.

[Damien]

So there's no caffeine in it.

[Courtney]

I don't know if there's caffeine in it, but there's. I don't think there's any tea in Brisk iced tea.

[Damien]

Brisk raspberry iced tea is my shit.

[Courtney]

I'm pretty sure it's just.

[Shane]

It's basically just sugar. Those commercials used to terrify me. Brisk had some pretty intense commercials back in the day. A lot of claymation, and it really. It was really rough. Those in the California Raisins giving me nightmares, really, As a child. Yeah, just claymation stuff could be really creepy sometimes.

[Damien]

Really?

[Shane]

They went intense with it. Yeah. Brisk had some. Some intense commercials.

[Courtney]

So they have tea powder. They have tea powder. So technically, I guess it's tea.

[Damien]

So they're the K cups of iced teas.

[Courtney]

Yeah, there. There is a little bit of. There's a surprisingly low amount of caffeine, is what this says.

[Shane]

Interesting.

[Damien]

It sucks. I mean, I don't really drink it for the caffeine anyway. I drink it for the tea.

[Shane]

I've always equated it to more like. It's more like a soda. It's basically a soda.

[Courtney]

Yeah. Due to the use of instant tea powder instead of brewed tea.

[Damien]

How much milligrams caffeine is in it, you think?

[Shane]

How much sugar is in it?

[Damien]

There's a lot. There's like 15 grams, 38 grams.

[Courtney]

But a lot of those people are eating. A lot of people, like, drink that tea. Cause they think it's healthy and it's like, bruh. No, no.

[Damien]

That's like the Kool Aid of teas.

[Shane]

Anything you're getting from a soda machine any place is probably not gonna be good for you. Sorry.

[Damien]

You know, it's good for you. Maeve is speaking.

[Courtney]

Ooh, five milligrams of caffeine. That ain't nothing.

[Damien]

Come on. I have to drink like 45 more.

[Shane]

Than that, but I will. You need more. Doctor prescribes more caffeine.

[Damien]

I didn't know that root beer, like bargs and stuff was caffeinated until literally like a month ago.

[Courtney]

I don't think bargs.

[Shane]

I thought root beer wasn't.

[Damien]

I learned that it's caffeinated.

[Shane]

Well, some of it probably is. I think a lot of it does say caffeine free. Like, there's mug caffeine free, but there's.

[Damien]

I think it's. To certain root beer companies. It's caffeinated. Search bargs. Search bargs.

[Courtney]

No, I did.

[Damien]

Nancy said it was caffeinated. It's bargain. It's multiple people in this office.

[Shane]

You have been lied to.

[Courtney]

Not bargs.

[Damien]

Multiple people in this office.

[Shane]

And they lied to me.

[Courtney]

It's bargara.

[Shane]

They lied to you, Courtney.

[Damien]

It's not my fault.

[Shane]

Don't. You don't. Okay, can I vent real quick?

[Damien]

Whoa.

[Shane]

Can I vent real quick?

[Courtney]

Oh, wait, wait, wait. Here we go. Here we go. Hold on. I actually have an answer. Okay, so A&W, IBC and mug root beer are caffeine free. Diet barqs has no caffeine. Regular barqs has caffeine.

[Damien]

That's what I'm saying, bro.

[Shane]

Okay, but. But on this note, on this note, don't you hate it? Cause this happens to me all the damn time. And it happens here at this office a lot. Cause we're all somewhat opinionated. We all have to. We fight for our opinions, whatever. And so I'll be talking to someone and they'll be like, say something like that. Where it's like, oh, did you know that all sweaters use polyester? And I'll be like, I didn't know that. That's very neat. Are you sure? And they're like, yes, I'm absolutely positive. And later I'll be like, did you know that all sweaters have polyester? And someone will be like, no, that's not true at all. You're very dumb. And I'll be like, but Someone told me that, and they're like, here's the research to prove that you're wrong. I'll be like, wow, I was lied to, and I believed them. That's literally the world that happens so much. And I hate it.

[Damien]

Yeah, it sucks.

[Shane]

I hate it.

[Damien]

It sucks. I don't want to have to spend. Imagine every day like, okay, what are the things I learned today? All right, let's go to the Internet and research and make sure everything I learned today was true.

[Courtney]

But then when you Google.

[Shane]

Then when you Google things. It depends on how Google things, you'll find some things are true. How often. How often do you guys do this? Cause I do it all the time. I'll be like, is two cups of coffee bad for you? And it's like research that shows that two cups of coffee will kill you right now. And then you'll immediately google, is two cups of coffee good for you? And then it's like, research shows that two cups of coffee will make your penis bigger. And I'm like, whoa, yeah, dude, I didn't know.

[Damien]

Everything's good for you and everything's bad for you. That's all I've had to explain. Except coffee is good for your liver. That's what I've learned.

[Shane]

The problem is there's. We don't know how this research is being done, how conclusive it is, how many studies.

[Courtney]

But two cups of coffee will make your penis bigger.

[Damien]

I have that known as fact.

[Shane]

Yeah, that is.

[Courtney]

Yeah, that's fact.

[Damien]

I drink two cups of coffee. Absolute fact. I measure my dick. Drink two cups of coffee. Go back and measure it. It's bigger. Maybe because it's. I have to pee, but I don't.

[Courtney]

Think that's how penises work.

[Shane]

Yes, that's true. Okay, great. I just got off the phone with the president of science, and he says, yes, that's true. Yes.

[Courtney]

Barq stripper has 22 milligrams of caffeine.

[Damien]

Okay.

[Shane]

It's not too much.

[Courtney]

That's pretty low.

[Damien]

It's low.

[Courtney]

That's like Mormon levels of acceptable caffeine.

[Damien]

0Mg caffeine.

[Shane]

Mormon levels of caffeine.

[Damien]

When I was a kid, like, no caffeine at all. You're not allowed to drink Coca Cola. Nothing. But now, apparently, it's changed, I think.

[Shane]

Because I want to say. I'm not gonna say anything. Cause, I don't know.

[Damien]

I think you heard it from me. Whereas, like, there was, like, some sponsorship.

[Shane]

I thought there was some sort of donation or something that made him, like, Caffeine is okay.

[Damien]

I heard that too. And I think I've checked that with multiple sources and it seems like there is some truth to it.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Damien]

Those of you listening can google it. I could still be wrong. Don't Google it.

[Shane]

You can google it at home.

[Damien]

Don't google it.

[Shane]

But yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Damien]

The world is. Everything's a lie.

[Courtney]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shane]

The great caffeine debate.

[Courtney]

Yeah, caffeine's awesome.

[Shane]

It's definitely one of those things where it's like, I don't know if it's good for you, but it's definitely not horrible for you.

[Courtney]

I mean, I'll definitely say like if.

[Shane]

You want, it's an amount caffeine.

[Courtney]

If you're tired or whatever and you're an adult and you don't have heart problems and you know, you're not super preggers or something, like you're baby's.

[Shane]

That's not gonna hurt you.

[Courtney]

Coffee's the way to go. I wouldn't like energy drinks and that kind of garbage. Like there's so much other stuff in there.

[Damien]

Like I said, everything's good for you, everything's bad for you. It doesn't end there. Also, like, hey, say if you drink this cup of coffee, it's gonna stain your teeth and maybe hurt your body a little bit. But it also helps you complete a very important assignment that maybe decided the rest of your career. Like there's give and take in life.

[Shane]

So everyone reacts differently. Cause I'll go through phases where I think it gives me too much anxiety.

[Courtney]

Sure. Yeah.

[Shane]

It makes me tired later in the day.

[Damien]

If I have coffee too late in the day and then I go to the gym, I have like an induced, like I have anxiety attack at the gym.

[Courtney]

Yeah, well. Cause your penis is too big at that point.

[Damien]

Yeah, my penis is too big.

[Shane]

You know what I have been doing lately though?

[Courtney]

That Olympians swear by shooting caffeine into your butt.

[Shane]

Yep. When I get back from the gym, a non alcoholic beer. Super good.

[Courtney]

What?

[Shane]

Super. I feel great.

[Courtney]

What?

[Shane]

And it's refreshing and it's.

[Damien]

I want to taste the.

[Shane]

It's not bad for you look. I don't know. A lot of Olympians are being like, yo, that's the best post workout drink.

[Damien]

Really?

[Shane]

Non alcoholic beer.

[Courtney]

What does it have like carbs?

[Shane]

I don't know. I don't actually know. I just know that it's refreshing and it doesn't have alcohol, so I don't feel guilty.

[Courtney]

Kevin's nodding his head. Why?

[Damien]

Yeah, he likes non alcoholic beer.

[Shane]

Yeah, it's really good. It's got the carbs and the calories.

[Courtney]

Within it, but not the alcohol. And it's refreshing and tasty as well.

[Shane]

Yeah, I'm sure there's. Are there better things? Probably, but it's nice.

[Courtney]

Yeah. Alcoholic beer.

[Shane]

Just chugging tequila at the gym.

[Damien]

Is it bad that I drink kombucha as often as I do?

[Courtney]

Well, I heard.

[Shane]

I don't know anything about kombucha because.

[Damien]

There'S, like, the tiniest, faint amount of alcohol in it, right?

[Courtney]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane]

You're talking, like, not enough. I think it's.

[Damien]

Well, what percent?

[Courtney]

Well, I had a friend that, like, again, they weren't. They didn't eat anything that day. Then they went to, like, some event that they were, like, giving out a lot of kombucha. And she swears, like, her and her friends got, like, kind of tipsy off of it. But that might have been a tricky thing.

[Damien]

You're drinking a lot.

[Shane]

If you are legally allowed to buy it under 21, then it can't. I have a hard time believing that. I mean, I know it has some. I like. I mean, look, is it at the point where if you have alcoholism, whatever, then maybe you should avoid it? I don't know, but.

[Damien]

Cause then if people. Cause I know hungover people will drink a kombucha. Is that, like, a hair of the dog situation?

[Courtney]

Then I feel like it's more the other.

[Shane]

I would say more the other things in it, you know? Because, I mean, kombucha's got a lot of stuff in it.

[Damien]

I love kombucha.

[Shane]

I love it, too. I don't. I don't even believe it's good for me. I just like it. It tastes like fancy pickle juice, and I'm all about it.

[Damien]

I've seen. I've noticed a difference in a lot of things thanks to kombucha.

[Shane]

I think like a fly.

[Courtney]

Oh, somebody. And then here we go again with the Google. But somebody was telling me that now they're. Now they're linking, like, too much probiotic use to, like, brain fog.

[Shane]

I swear to God. Yeah, I saw that. Yeah. Like, you eat too much Greek yogurt and you' I'll be dizzy.

[Courtney]

So it's like, oh, I had so.

[Shane]

Much Greek yogurt, I'm going crazy.

[Courtney]

I think, hey, you could do whatever you want except for, like, heroin. You do whatever you want in moderation. You'll be okay.

[Damien]

Always take. It's good.

[Courtney]

Except for, like, smoking cigarettes and heroin and crack.

[Shane]

Yeah, there's.

[Damien]

Yeah, Just those four things.

[Shane]

Well, there's also some things. Like, look, I enjoy beer a lot. People say, like, if you have it in moderation, it's good for you. I don't think there's any level of it's being good for you.

[Courtney]

Yeah. When it comes to alcohol, it's moderation.

[Shane]

So it's not devastating to your body.

[Courtney]

Yes.

[Shane]

But the whole, like, oh, a glass of wine a day is good for you. I'm like, so is eating grapes. Like, just eat grapes.

[Damien]

You know, Pharmacists recommend that you take probiotics while you're taking antibiotics.

[Shane]

That makes sense. That makes sense.

[Damien]

Cause antibiotics kills every form of bacteria in body, including the good kind. Probiotics supplies the good kind of bacteria. I can understand having too much of anything.

[Shane]

Also, brain fog. Come on. Who doesn't want a little bit of brain fog, you know? Sounds pretty nice. Like you're in your head, you're in the bayou.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

It's like you just taking a nice little trip through London, you know?

[Shane]

Exactly.

[Courtney]

You know, those people seem all right.

[Shane]

Yeah. Like you're in the Victorian era and a vampire's gonna come out and get you. Yeah. Hey, it's pretty fun. It's almost Halloween time. Time for some brain fog.

[Damien]

Guys are having a brain fog party at my house.

[Courtney]

Just getting wild off kombucha.

[Shane]

Yeah. We're gonna eat a bunch of Greek yogurt and just freak out.

[Courtney]

I'm kind of considering jumping into the booch land, but.

[Shane]

Jumping into booch land?

[Courtney]

Yeah, But I just haven't. I haven't taken that leap yet. It just seems like the final douchey LA thing to do.

[Damien]

Yeah. I hated it until I found a flavor I like.

[Shane]

I've drank it since before I moved out here. The. It was back in Arizona, and a friend of mine was like, kombucha. And I was like, what is this? And I remember being like, okay with it then. But I've always. It's. It's.

[Courtney]

Yeah. I mean, as an example of how douchey it is, there's this one flavor that's labeled Rose. Nice with the accent over the E. Hell, yeah. Like, rose. But the flavor is rose is rose. It's not rose.

[Damien]

So it's bubbly rose.

[Shane]

I think I will fight.

[Courtney]

It was actually pretty good.

[Shane]

I will fight to the death over the fact that trilogy. GT Dave's trilogy, which is like one of the originals, is the best flavor, hands down. No, trilogy is the best. Gt Dave. Thank you for giving me trilogy. I saw you at Star Wars Land at Disneyland. I should have said hi. What to thank you for trilogy. He was there, just chilling. Like, he had some Star wars merch. He's having a good time. Galaxy's Edge.

[Courtney]

Was he building a lightsaber and a droid?

[Shane]

I think he had a droid. No, he had a creature on his shoulder, I think. Yeah.

[Damien]

I only know you had. You took. You took a pic of him.

[Shane]

I did take a picture of him. I took a subtle picture of him. Not, like, invasive.

[Damien]

Sorry.

[Shane]

I was in the photo and I took it like. So it's me. It's a selfie. But you see him in the background.

[Damien]

That's the classic way to show I.

[Shane]

Didn'T want to be. And he's like. He's very. You cannot even tell that it's him. Like, I sent it to just Courtney just being like, look. Oh, my God.

[Courtney]

Was there a beam of light just constantly following him?

[Shane]

It was cloudy that day and just a little opening that just shined on him. Wow. And his. All his glory.

[Courtney]

But could you smell him from where you were at? Like, did he smell wonderful? He looks like he. You could smell, like, a certain cleanliness from like five miles away.

[Damien]

He seems like a very clean aftershave.

[Courtney]

Yeah.

[Damien]

Yeah, I like the smell of aftershave.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

Did you feel better after you saw him?

[Shane]

Yeah, I did.

[Damien]

Your brain wasn't in a fog?

[Shane]

Yeah, I felt so much better. I actually went and ran a marathon later that afternoon.

[Courtney]

That's dope.

[Shane]

Just from his presence.

[Courtney]

If anyone doesn't know what we're talking about. Cody Ko did a great video about this.

[Damien]

Gt Dave, the creator, the Kombucha King, manufacturer of Kombucha. Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah. He's LA's Bruce Wayne. I think they say that, right? I think people know that.

[Courtney]

But they. But they, like, they clowned on him like, really hard. And then he was cool about it. And then he made a video together.

[Shane]

He invited them to his place. Really cool guy.

[Damien]

What company made that video of GT Dave? They told him to do that weird stuff.

[Courtney]

Oh, really?

[Damien]

Like the pacing and, like, it was like their cinnamon cinematography.

[Courtney]

They made him look like a straight up villain.

[Shane]

Yeah, it's awesome. I think it's great.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Love his stuff. Love Kombucha.

[Courtney]

So we're about. We're about to the end. Forgot to finish off with some Ian's funny news.

[Damien]

Ooh, Ian's Funny News.

[Shane]

It's been a minute.

[Damien]

We really are back at it, huh?

[Courtney]

Yeah. Nobody. Nobody died this time? Nobody. Nobody got well, wouldn't say nobody Got hurt, actually. This guy hurt. This guy ruined a lot of lives. He's the founder of the largest gay conversion therapy camps, and he just came out as gay.

[Shane]

The amount of times that happens is mind blowing.

[Courtney]

Yeah. Gee, I wonder why.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Courtney]

So, yeah, he came out and then denounced everything that he's ever done and said that it doesn't work. And then he supports gay, lesbian.

[Damien]

How old is people?

[Courtney]

He's like 50 or something. So it's like, of course his own.

[Shane]

Personal, personal inner battle just spilled out.

[Damien]

And, oh, my goodness.

[Shane]

Destroyed a bunch of lives. Yeah, he probably legitimately ruined a lot of lives.

[Courtney]

Oh, 100%. One hundo.

[Shane]

I wonder if that news, though. I wonder how that impacts a lot of the people who had to go through his programs. Like, seeing that and being like, oh, this was made by someone who. I don't know.

[Courtney]

Yeah, it's all sketch. I feel like that kind of stuff's coming to an end, though.

[Shane]

I feel like we're. I mean, look, there's definitely still tons of people, but I feel like I don't hear as many people say, like, they believe it's a choice. Like, I think people have got to be all.

[Damien]

You have to have never gone on Twitter or, like, you are never on the Internet to, like, not see that stuff. But it's crazy. Like, the amount of people who, like, are still behind on that stuff, still.

[Shane]

Believe it's a choice. That's crazy to me. That's crazy to me.

[Damien]

Yeah. But, like, even so, that guy, he's owned up, and now he's like, okay, just kidding. There's still a lot of people who went through the conversion therapy. It's not like they. I hear a ringing sound. Is that just my brain? Sick people will be like, okay, cool, so he's openly gay now, but they went through the conversion therapy. And it's not like they're like, okay, so it's okay for me to be gay now. It's like they still have families or whatever that is holding them back from being able to be themselves.

[Shane]

Well, and they still have the trauma of going through that program. Like, even if they were like, oh, it's okay now, they're still. They're never gonna be able to be. They will be, but it would take so much therapy and so much work.

[Courtney]

Yeah. And I don't know what kind of methods this one did, because there's all different kinds of ones, and they go through different levels of experience.

[Damien]

It's all abuse.

[Shane]

They're all things. Yeah, it's really bad.

[Courtney]

So Yeah, I don't know if you're like, a founder of a gay conversion therapy camp. Go fuck yourself.

[Damien]

Our vice president, I'm pretty sure not.

[Courtney]

A founder, but he definitely involved in that. He hasn't denounced.

[Shane]

Oh, Mike Pence?

[Damien]

No, he was closely involved in, like.

[Shane]

Oh, yeah. Oh, he's hardcore like that.

[Courtney]

Yeah, yeah, it's a big old bummer.

[Damien]

Not. Oh, when I said vice president, you thought I meant of smosh.

[Shane]

No, no, no, no, no, no. I was like, oh, Mike Pence.

[Damien]

Like, I meant of our country. Yeah, I did not mean.

[Courtney]

No. Yeah.

[Damien]

I forget that you're. No, you're a president.

[Courtney]

You know, I'm the prez, baby. Don't cross me.

[Damien]

Do you have a sash?

[Courtney]

I should get a sash.

[Damien]

I'll make you a sash.

[Courtney]

Can you please?

[Damien]

Yeah, I think I've been actually meaning to make a bunch of sashes.

[Courtney]

Yeah. Let's save it for the beauty channel, guys.

[Damien]

What's the name of our Swatch beauty channel, guys? Sorry, I just be.

[Courtney]

That'll be your guys. Homework. Come up with a good name for our beauty channel. I think that's. That's good homework for you guys. Courtney, Shane, it was lovely being back on the pod with you guys.

[Damien]

Good catching up.

[Shane]

Thanks, Ayn.

[Damien]

We literally, us three, did not have a conversation till today.

[Courtney]

Till today.

[Shane]

We have not talked since the last.

[Damien]

We don't talk outside of the city.

[Shane]

Nope.

[Courtney]

Never.

[Shane]

Nope, nope. Never off camera. Zip it real quick.

[Damien]

My sister and I had a bit the other day where it's like, what if we hung out an entire day but, like, just didn't talk? So it's just going through things like food or getting our nails done.

[Courtney]

I'm just kidding.

[Damien]

Anyway, it's good to be back with you guys.

[Shane]

Ah, Courtney just smacked my tummy. What if I pooped? Here you go.

[Courtney]

Poop.

[Shane]

And then we just cut.

[Courtney]

So thank you guys for coming on. And thank you guys, the listeners and the viewers for tuning in to another smosh Cat. If you're listening to this, hey, you could listen to us on Wednesday. If you're watching us, you gotta wait till Friday to see our beautiful faces. But if you're watching us on YouTube, you're hearing us uncensored, so you can't hear that terrible thing that Tana Mongeau said. Yes. If you're not yet subscribed to the podcast, please do so. Give us a, like, hit that bell button. Do all those amazing things. Every little bit of effort that you do for us, we appreciate so much and we love you.

[Damien]

We love you.

[Shane]

We love you. Eat some Greek yogurt. Get that brain fog.

[Courtney]

Get that brain fog, baby. And drink two cups of coffee.

[Damien]

One non alcoholic beer after the gym.

[Courtney]

Yep. All right. There's your homework. Love you. Goodbye.

[Shane]

Bye.