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Ian Hecox
Ramble.
Keith Leak Jr.
Michael Jackson was open for his love for children. But this is the thing. When there's a 10 year investigation on you from the FBI, they find no evidence whatsoever. It's just hard for me to believe that it's actually accurate.
Noah Grossman
My parents, they just have a very specific opinion about me and it's one of like deadbeat, unsuccessful, like, didn't go to college.
Ian Hecox
If other people, you know, have a faith of any kind, like, that's fine with me, as long as it doesn't infringe on my rights.
Noah Grossman
Can you imagine committing crimes and then just being like. But he dances.
Keith Leak Jr.
Stop. What do you guys see his hat? That's what I won't do. I'm gonna step out of here.
Noah Grossman
You definitely have done tap.
Keith Leak Jr.
I don't know how to do tap. I don't know.
Noah Grossman
Have you done tap?
Keith Leak Jr.
No, I don't actually.
Noah Grossman
No. Not even for a show? Not even like.
Keith Leak Jr.
No, I've never had to do tap. Wow. Yeah. But have you done tap?
Noah Grossman
I've pretended to do tap before.
Keith Leak Jr.
And have you done tap?
Ian Hecox
Have I done like tap dancing?
Keith Leak Jr.
Yes.
Ian Hecox
Why would I have ever done tap?
Keith Leak Jr.
That's the thing that he's asking me.
Noah Grossman
Like, he's tapping. Watch your smack. Watch your taps.
Keith Leak Jr.
Oh, okay, sorry.
Ian Hecox
You're tapping the table. Tap. You gotta.
Keith Leak Jr.
I've never done tap. Ian's never done tap. Have you done tap?
Noah Grossman
I've. I guess I've pseudo tapped. One time I had to tap.
Keith Leak Jr.
That doesn't count.
Noah Grossman
Okay, fine, then I have it.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yes. And continue.
Noah Grossman
No, you said that doesn't count. Okay, I did.
Ian Hecox
All right, let's just get right into this. Welcome everybody, to another episode of smoshcast. I am your host, Ian Hecox. And today who am I joined by?
Keith Leak Jr.
Hold on, where's my camera? First of all, seat camera.
Ian Hecox
Don't even worry about the cameras.
Noah Grossman
Where's it wide?
Ian Hecox
This is three bros, bro. And out, bro.
Keith Leak Jr.
And out. All right, so we don't do this that often.
Ian Hecox
I'm sorry.
Noah Grossman
Anyway, I'm Keith.
Keith Leak Jr.
I'm Noah Grossman.
Ian Hecox
Okay, now everybody's just gonna be so thrown off.
Noah Grossman
Oh, it is a podcast. I'm so sorry.
Keith Leak Jr.
We in there.
Ian Hecox
You gotta start it off without the visuals.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah, we need Visuals. This is YouTube. This is all about visuals.
Ian Hecox
But it's not just on YouTube. It's out on Spotify. It's on every single podcasting app that you can possibly think of.
Keith Leak Jr.
Look, but this part is all about the vegables, right?
Ian Hecox
The what?
Keith Leak Jr.
The vegibles.
Noah Grossman
The vegetables. Did you eat your vegetables?
Keith Leak Jr.
I ain't say that. I said the vegetables.
Noah Grossman
Oh.
Keith Leak Jr.
Oh, the Bitchables.
Noah Grossman
Yeah. Wasn't gonna do that one.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah, say Bitchables.
Noah Grossman
Bitchables. It made me think of, like, Lunchables, but for specifically someone who's, like, a bitch.
Ian Hecox
I'm confused already.
Keith Leak Jr.
This is great.
Ian Hecox
This is gonna be a great start. We have 74 minutes left to go on this, to know that we're off to a great start. Yeah, I wanted to start with a lighter topic before getting into all the Michael Jackson stuff.
Keith Leak Jr.
Okay.
Noah Grossman
No, I wanted to start on a lighter topic before. Insert and then go hard.
Keith Leak Jr.
How about that?
Ian Hecox
You want to hold off on? Let's just ease. Okay, fine.
Keith Leak Jr.
I ain't talked about this yet. Shit.
Ian Hecox
So, Keith, you took Noah to church.
Keith Leak Jr.
I took him to black church. Yes, I did.
Ian Hecox
Oh, black church.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah. And Noah is Jewish. Are you Jewish?
Noah Grossman
So I'm half Jewish, half Catholic, but I'm the type of Catholic and the type of Jew where neither religion actually identifies me as the religion. So to be an Orthodox Jew, you have to have your mother be Jewish. And to be an Orthodox Catholic, your father has to be Catholic. And I'm reversed.
Ian Hecox
Oh, boy. What are you gonna do?
Keith Leak Jr.
Whoops.
Ian Hecox
I guess you ought to become a Satanist.
Noah Grossman
Yeah.
Keith Leak Jr.
Hey, that's my boy.
Noah Grossman
But, yeah, Keith took me to. What is it called? One Universal.
Keith Leak Jr.
I took him to One Church, la, and it was the best experience of his life, Right?
Noah Grossman
It was pretty nut.
Keith Leak Jr.
It was the best experience of your life.
Noah Grossman
It was the best experience of my life.
Ian Hecox
The name of the church makes it sound like it would look like an Apple store from the inside.
Noah Grossman
You're really close.
Ian Hecox
Welcome to the One Church.
Keith Leak Jr.
Welcome to the One Church.
Ian Hecox
Is it one of those, like, stadium churches?
Keith Leak Jr.
No, actually, it's actually a very, like, chill. I mean, it's a theater, but it's not a stadium. It's not like a big. It's not too much. It's Just enough.
Ian Hecox
But it's a black church.
Keith Leak Jr.
Oh, it's black as fuck. This is the thing.
Ian Hecox
Do you have, like, two different churches you go to when you're feeling like you don't want to go to such a black church?
Keith Leak Jr.
Okay, so, like, I go to a black church. Growing up, I went to black churches. But my dad is a minister of music. He's into the church. Like, my whole family's churchy as fic.
Unknown
Shit.
Keith Leak Jr.
Can I say that?
Ian Hecox
Yeah, you can say all those things. Are y'all gonna bleep me on YouTube? We will. But if you're listening to this on any of the podcast apps, hell, yeah.
Keith Leak Jr.
My dad's a minister, and, like, he ended up playing for, like, a white, multicultural, big church that had everybody. And, like, I got the best of both worlds. And you know what? I'm gonna be honest, and this is me going for it. I'm gonna say something controversial. I learned the most teachings and, like, beliefs that I have from the white church, believe it or not. But that doesn't mean that the black church is not the. The.
Ian Hecox
Okay, interesting.
Keith Leak Jr.
Is that a lot?
Ian Hecox
This is a podcast. You could speak your mind. There's no judgment.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah, I just. I learned some, like, great teachings that, like, will help me throughout every day.
Ian Hecox
Interesting. So what. What separates it? So there's just more lessons at multicultural church?
Keith Leak Jr.
No, it's not that there's more lessons. The pastor that actually gave me the wisdom and, like, the goodness that I, like, take with me throughout each and every day, not all the time, was actually just said the. He said the realest shit that I've ever heard.
Noah Grossman
What did you say?
Keith Leak Jr.
Like, you could say the realest shit. This is the thing. If you believe in yourself, believe in yourself. Think it, act on it, pray on it. Like, all of those things. This is the thing. Like, people call it the secret. It's beyond the secret. This thing has been around forever. Just believe, act on it, pray on it, do your shit. I can't say this and talk about. I can't.
Noah Grossman
No, it's fine. I was curious. It's like, he gave you the scientific method of, like, spirituality. He was like, step one, make a hypothesis, step two, prey on it.
Keith Leak Jr.
Oh, okay. I see where we're going. We're gonna fight before the end of this season. No, not at all. Not at all.
Noah Grossman
You took me to black church, and that was a great experience for me. I had never been.
Keith Leak Jr.
Oh, great. On a scale of 1 to 10.
Noah Grossman
On a scale of 1, I would give that, like, a solid 9. Like black church is a straight up 9. If you go to.
Keith Leak Jr.
That's an 11, motherfucker. You know what?
Noah Grossman
It might be an 11. It might be an 11, but I've been to three churches in my life. One was a Chinese church, one was a Catholic church in New Jersey on Easter. And then the other one was a black church in Los Angeles. And black church in Los Angeles. Oh my God. They had a live band. Four piece band. They had a guitarist.
Keith Leak Jr.
They had like a six piece band. Let's be clear. Keep it going, Keep it going.
Ian Hecox
Any woodwinds?
Noah Grossman
I don't remember.
Keith Leak Jr.
They didn't have woodwinds. That song.
Noah Grossman
It does count if you count the vocalists. I don't know why I was only counting the instruments. The vocalists count towards the band.
Keith Leak Jr.
Oh, bro, they have like six singers.
Noah Grossman
Yeah, it was crazy. They had a drummer doing drum solos in the middle of church. Straight up drum solos.
Ian Hecox
Wait, so like, while the guy is giving a sermon, dude's just like, that's.
Keith Leak Jr.
Not how I remember it. But like, I mean, for your. Oh, no.
Noah Grossman
I remember showing up outside. The outside looks like a movie theater. And on it, it's like the movie that they're displaying is like Today's prayer, something like that. So you're walking in and you're like, oh, today I'll check out, you know, three, 19, praise God, whatever it is. You're getting a trailer, essentially.
Keith Leak Jr.
But you want. But this is the first time I hear.
Noah Grossman
Yeah, we've never fully talked about it. Cause I think we both just enjoyed it.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah.
Noah Grossman
And we also went with your friend Nick, who's also my friend, but your friend Nick. And so we go in and it's straight up a movie theater. There's like probably enough seats for 400, 500 people. Like rows of the movie theater seats. It's so comfortable. The chairs are so comfortable. Everything is so clean. It looks like you're on the set of Ellen, except it's all the walls. Ellen is probably just one side. And then the audience is sitting in the chairs. Everything looks like Ellen.
Keith Leak Jr.
It's the first time I'm hearing about this. Keep going.
Noah Grossman
Now it is well lit. It's amaz. And then there's a band and they're just like jamming out and they're playing. And I mean, they're all really feeling the music. And I didn't know when the dude would come out, but he comes out from like the side. Kind of like you're doing like we're asking him questions.
Ian Hecox
It just seemed so, like it's a boxing match. He just comes out.
Keith Leak Jr.
I'm about to let y'all play one church. One church.
Noah Grossman
No, no, no. It was really awesome. The dude came out, he gave his sermon. It was like, a solid 30 minutes. And then after that, like, he was like, thank you very much. Like, God bless, whatever.
Ian Hecox
Oh, just 30 minutes.
Noah Grossman
That's what I remember. I think it was a quick one.
Keith Leak Jr.
He lying. He's a liar.
Noah Grossman
I'm a liar.
Keith Leak Jr.
I'm a dirty liar. It was an hour maybe, but it felt like 30 minutes because the word was so good. It touched your life. Oh, right there. Blessings.
Noah Grossman
Yes.
Keith Leak Jr.
Holy water. Hold on.
Ian Hecox
For those listening, Keith is currently blessing us.
Keith Leak Jr.
I'm telling you guys, I went to church for the last three weeks in a row. I've been going through some things, and I was like, yo, I need to.
Noah Grossman
Do one day a week. Yeah, okay. Don't people go to church, like, every day?
Keith Leak Jr.
No, not the people that I know.
Noah Grossman
Are churches open other days?
Keith Leak Jr.
Huh?
Noah Grossman
Are churches open other days for prayer?
Ian Hecox
You can, like, walk in, right?
Keith Leak Jr.
We have a Thursday service. We don't. I'm not necessarily a member there, but I go there for, like, just, like, that's. It's how I grew up. It's like a part of my essence. It's a part of my, like, culture. So I go there to get what I need. There's a lot of things. Questions that I have within that whole aspect, but beyond that, that's something that I have for me, that I do.
Noah Grossman
Sure.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Noah Grossman
Yeah. I like to go again.
Ian Hecox
I only know, like, when you're talking about, like, going, like, just. If you can just show up to a church in the middle of the day, I. The only experience I have is from watching, like, movies where, like, the dude goes into, like, the Catholic church, like, the killer, like. Like the hero, something. He's, like, down on his luck, and he, like, walks into the church in the middle of the day and, like, sits down in a pew, see? And then the father alone. Yeah. The father comes. He's like, what's trouble in your son?
Keith Leak Jr.
That's movie church. That ain't church. Come to black church with me. This is the thing. Everybody has the opportunity, but.
Ian Hecox
But if I'm hero, can I walk in in the middle of the day when I'm down on my luck, man.
Keith Leak Jr.
You walk in with your Batman suit. You play Batman real good. You walk in there, you say, carol or Sharon or whatever, Rachel, and give God the glory. I'm telling you. Say Jesus. I'm telling you, I Mean, you gonna feel somebody then telling you, come to black church with me. We should do a vlog where we all go to black church. I'm telling you, it would change your life. This, the thing. Whether you believe or not, you gonna get something out of it that you like. It's just. It's an energy. It's a feeling feel. It's like, yeah, it was super nice.
Ian Hecox
It's a community. That's. That's what it is. That's what it should be. First and foremost, it's a community. It's places for. It's a place for people to gather, whether you believe in everything or not.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah, you know, exactly. Look, we need y'all. Look, y'all need a black community. Get up in this.
Noah Grossman
Y'all need to join the black community.
Ian Hecox
Can you let us borrow your black community?
Keith Leak Jr.
No. Look, y'all invited to the cookout just to see what's going on.
Ian Hecox
Speaking of cookout, this is actually my biggest question about. About these different church experiences that you have had because you've sampled the platter. Who has the best food?
Noah Grossman
Who has the best food? Okay. Off of that. The only place that I ate was at a Chinese church, and it was a Chinese church out in Los Angeles. My great grandmother, now deceased, God bless her heart. A woman with. I've got different opinions about her, but she was very sweet, and she would dedicate all of her time to this Chinese church. And I don't know why she picked this one. And I honestly think it's because it.
Ian Hecox
Was the people who would listen to.
Noah Grossman
She's not Chinese. She has no affiliation to China, the Chinese people, or the Chinese culture. Straight up to the point where she is the only one that doesn't speak Chinese there. And I was brought there. I must have been maybe nine. I had a psp, and I had Star wars on my psp, and I remember being bored, so I just started walking around, and there was a back area that all the kids hang out, and there's just probably 30, 40 Chinese kids, and we just all started playing on our psp and we didn't even really talk. Not that they can't speak English. They're obviously normal humans. We just didn't. That came out wrong, you know? Thank you. I was trying. Thank you, Keith, for blessing my shoulder.
Keith Leak Jr.
And you know what? For Olivia, like, she's gonna love to know that you're not her first. Like, you know, she's not your first Asian friend.
Ian Hecox
Did you want to move your mic a little bit more over towards.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah.
Ian Hecox
Is That a little better?
Keith Leak Jr.
It'll make me talk into it.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Noah Grossman
Keith, what's it like always being the problem?
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Keith Leak Jr.
Oh, my God. I don't think you want those problems either, Noah. So we're not gonna do that either.
Noah Grossman
Sorry.
Ian Hecox
So what was the food situation? Oh, at the Chinese church.
Noah Grossman
Honestly, what I remember, it's a Chinese chicken salad, which I think is not a Chinese dish. I just think it's something very easy to make that everyone.
Keith Leak Jr.
You can have like, 60 servings. I would have believed you before.
Noah Grossman
Yeah, but that's not what it was.
Keith Leak Jr.
There we go. That's what I'm saying.
Ian Hecox
I didn't actually expect Chinese food to be a Chinese church. Like, it just seemed like it would be. It would be.
Keith Leak Jr.
You don't go to church. You ain't never been to church, have you?
Ian Hecox
Okay, so yes or no? Yes or no? I went to one Sunday school one time. I had to go because for a while when my grandfather remarried after my grandmother died, that woman was a church going lady. So he thought, hey, yeah, I'll try this. I'll try. And so I was with them for one of the weekends, so I had to go to Sunday school. And did you buy Jesus? No, I didn't. What I found was traumatic. We had this competition to remember Bible verses or something. And then for every one that you got wrong, they would pop a balloon. You had a series of balloons, and then, like, if you got it wrong, they would pop a balloon. And I was like, this. This isn't right.
Keith Leak Jr.
You know what, Ian? I ain't gonna say this. Sound like smosh summer games to me. And you sound like you hating. This is the thing. This is a game. You gotta play with it. This the thing. Okay, so they got a balloon. This is a game. Look at it as a game.
Ian Hecox
A game.
Keith Leak Jr.
So the balloon popping. I don't like balloons. My mom don't like balloons. I don't like them because of my mom. Whatever the thing is with the balloons.
Ian Hecox
Going on should we dig into that.
Noah Grossman
We can in a second.
Keith Leak Jr.
Y'all want to go to the balloons first?
Noah Grossman
Keep going with. Cause, I mean, I want to talk.
Keith Leak Jr.
About my mom and how she don't like balloons and how I don't like balloons because I'm a girlfriend.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, okay, let's talk about that.
Keith Leak Jr.
Okay. So I said it a little bit in smosh dumber games like last time. Pretty much whenever we went. This. How saved my family. This is how saved me and my family are. Well, my family more so it got. Thank you.
Ian Hecox
We're teaching Keith podcast etiquette.
Keith Leak Jr.
Thank you. Sorry. Let me get up in this.
Ian Hecox
Oh, yeah, baby.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah, like this. Do y'all let me know.
Ian Hecox
So much better. That sounds so clear.
Keith Leak Jr.
Pretty much what my. We used to go to Applebee's every Sunday after church, after whatever, you know, like just. It was a special occasion. Applebee's in Ohio is like.
Ian Hecox
It's lit.
Keith Leak Jr.
Oh, my gosh. That's fancy. That's next level fancy. Well, we would go there, but my mom's afraid of balloons. Because we were kids, the waitresses would always give us, like, balloons, okay, but my mom hates them, okay? She hates. Because they pop. I promise you, that's it. Because they pop. That's exactly why she hates them. Okay? So with them popping, whatever, blah, blah, blah. Before we would get in the car, my mom said, you ain't bringing those in the car. But she stopped saying that after a while. And what she pretty much said was like, give them up to Jesus.
Ian Hecox
Oh, so pollute.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah, that's the thing. She doesn't know any better. Come on, give her a break, mom. Don't make any. Don't make Kayson my nephew. Like, give him up to Jesus. Like, let it go. Let go and let God, but don't let him go. How about that?
Noah Grossman
That's really funny.
Ian Hecox
Wow.
Noah Grossman
Can I really quickly just talk about your Sunday school? That sounds like torture.
Ian Hecox
It was terrible. I hated it. I did not like it one bit. And that was my only Sunday school experience. I don't think I ever sat through a sermon. Like, I think both my parents, both. Both my grandparents were. Were religious church going people, and then they all just sort of fell out of it. My parents weren't into it and they. They never. They never said anything negative about. About church or about religion or whatever, but it was always one of those things where like, yeah, if it interests you, then. Then, you know, go after it. It's never. It's never been something that has particularly appealed to me. I think that if other people, you know, have faith of any kind, like, that's fine with me, as long as. As long as it doesn't infringe on. On my rights.
Keith Leak Jr.
As long as you're a good person. That's what it's about.
Ian Hecox
There's a saying. It's really bad, and we'll cut it out if it's too. If it's too explicit. But they say religion is like having a penis. It's okay to have one, but don't go shoving it down my mouth or my children's mouth.
Keith Leak Jr.
Oh, my God. That's some Catholic shit. Oh, my God.
Noah Grossman
No, no. If it was Catholic shit, the saying would be different.
Ian Hecox
No, that would be just the kids.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah. Sorry.
Noah Grossman
No, no, no. They would say, don't shove it down my mouth. That's all they would say.
Keith Leak Jr.
Oh, my God. Stop.
Ian Hecox
Stop.
Noah Grossman
Do you know how many of them are in prison? Do you want to talk about how many priests were arrested last year or found with child pornography in just Pittsburgh?
Keith Leak Jr.
I don't know.
Noah Grossman
It was like four entire churches. It was like over 400 members, I.
Keith Leak Jr.
Think you talked to me.
Ian Hecox
They produced, like, 700 victims.
Noah Grossman
Yes, they produced. And they distributed their own child porn on church grounds. They produced and distributed child pornography on church grounds for years. Everyone wants to know where these pedophiles come from and where the child porn is coming from.
Keith Leak Jr.
It's the Catholic Church.
Ian Hecox
Well, I mean, some of it. It's coming from a lot of different places.
Noah Grossman
Pedophiles go everywhere.
Ian Hecox
Definitely not just the Catholic Church, just predators.
Keith Leak Jr.
God. Good Lord. This is not a subject that I like to talk about.
Noah Grossman
You know what we should talk about right now is that new document. You guys heard about this new dog coming out.
Ian Hecox
Speaking of what dog, children, eyes.
Noah Grossman
Just generally it goes into, like, how predators groom different children and kind of like how they could be separated from their families and brought to, you know, places that might be called Neverland Ranch.
Keith Leak Jr.
Put a name on it. Put a name on it. Because I'm about to go off and.
Unknown
I don't know if this is right.
Keith Leak Jr.
This is a thing. This is the thing. Put a name on.
Noah Grossman
No, I have not seen the documentary, but I'm talking about the new Michael Jackson documentary.
Keith Leak Jr.
Can I just say, this is a thing, like, I don't want to make if this is true, if it's true. I wasn't there. I don't want to make people feel that, like, what they have gone through, if it is true. Like, I don't want them to feel that they're like, voice isn't being heard. I will say this is the first time out of all the, like, the years that like Michael Jackson had a time to like, honestly say this was like the vibe. Like, I didn't do this. Now we live in a time where like the MeToo movement and everything's going on. Like, people are able to say their claim too. Like, we live in a social media world. This is the problem that I have with everything that's going on. Yo, I've been watching murder mysteries for like the past month and the FBI seems to know everything. So if the FBI does a 10 year investigation on your ass, your black ass, your black white ass, Michael Jackson, and they don't find any evidence, what the fuck do you want? Like, what is it? This is the thing. There's evidence against R. Kelly, like, he's in a tape. He's in a tape. But there's more beyond that. There's more. I don't know. I don't want to say, like, this did not happen. I don't want to say that. I don't feel that it did. Only because. Not only because I'm a fan. Michael Jackson was open for his love for children. He was always like, yo, I love this. I love kids. I love them. You can share your bed. Like, anybody that's trying not to like, share their bed or like, chill with children would honestly be like, I don't like kids. R. Kelly ass. That's what he said. I don't like kids.
Noah Grossman
Like, no, R. Kelly doesn't go for the kids, just for the teens.
Keith Leak Jr.
Those are kids. But this is the thing. When there's a 10 year investigation on you from the FBI and they find no evidence whatsoever, whatsoever, it's just hard for me to believe that it's actually accurate. And then some of the, the people involved within the case, man, like, when it comes down to it, like, I'm cool with like some of the Jacksons too. And like beyond me being cool with them. Like, there's certain people that are coming out with these claims that are kind of like fraudulent and like people that have said, like, in his, like, last try, his last try, he doesn't want.
Noah Grossman
To be here anymore. He hurts somebody else.
Ian Hecox
Talk, take it. I mean, this, this also becomes a problem of like everybody's truths, right?
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah.
Ian Hecox
Because, you know, obviously Michael Jackson had a very large impact on a lot of people, including, including yourself.
Keith Leak Jr.
Say it again.
Ian Hecox
Michael Jackson was, I mean, he had a great impact on a lot of people.
Keith Leak Jr.
Thank you.
Noah Grossman
Oh, you added great that time.
Keith Leak Jr.
That was good.
Ian Hecox
But. But look, you can do a lot of great things and still do some pretty reprehensible things, I'll give you that. I mean, I think we can all agree Michael Jackson will always be the King of Pop. You know, he's created amazing things.
Keith Leak Jr.
Had to show my eyes. Let's go. But you think he did it, is what you're saying? No, you're just saying the only people.
Ian Hecox
That know the truth are him and those people that were kids back then, man.
Keith Leak Jr.
All I'm saying is the FBI is that they strong. If you watch these murder mysteries, Forensic Files on Netflix, man, I watch the whole thing. And every time they come with the man they know.
Ian Hecox
So what about the kid? There was one. There's one kid. I think his name is Jordan Chandler.
Keith Leak Jr.
I've not watched it yet.
Ian Hecox
So this was a kid that he settled out of court. So they reached a settlement, and he was able to describe the markings on the bottom of Michael Jackson's genitalia. And those markings matched his genitalia.
Keith Leak Jr.
Ooh. I wasn't there. So.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, I mean, that's like one of those things where it's like, okay, so that matched. Why would a child know what the underside of Michael Jackson's penis looked like? Could it have been a good guess? Maybe. But the whole thing was. Michael Jackson had vitiligo.
Keith Leak Jr.
So he said he had a spot or something.
Ian Hecox
Yeah. You know, because vitiligo is the skin condition where you can see. So he was able to describe the markings.
Noah Grossman
So that was like specific markings.
Ian Hecox
Whoa. Kind of moment.
Noah Grossman
The metro map from New York. His markings are very specific.
Ian Hecox
I'm sorry, Keith.
Noah Grossman
The sea train goes from his scrotum.
Keith Leak Jr.
How much do we have?
Ian Hecox
They actually don't talk about. I don't think they even talk about it in the doc. I watched the doc, and then there was two.
Keith Leak Jr.
There were two parts. So what is. Do you want.
Noah Grossman
What's your opinion? After watching it, I think.
Ian Hecox
I mean, honestly, we'll never know the truth.
Keith Leak Jr.
That's.
Ian Hecox
That's the thing. Am I willing to just give MJ a pass? No. Like, I do. I do believe. I mean, I think what we can all agree on is those. Those parents. Oh, fuck those parents. Like. Like Michael Jackson. Maybe he did it, maybe he didn't. Maybe they. Maybe the kids lied, maybe they didn't. But those parents, I think we could all agree, are the worst because they were like, yeah, you know, he's Michael Jackson. It'll be great for his career. So, sure. You could sleep in a Bed with him for nine months.
Keith Leak Jr.
Man. Let's not like blame the parents. Let's not blame.
Ian Hecox
No, let's blame the parents.
Keith Leak Jr.
Listen, this is the thing. I'm not here to blame anybody other than if it happened. The person that did it, I don't believe he did it. Yeah, like, let's go to where it actually is.
Ian Hecox
But the thing is, like, you get.
Keith Leak Jr.
To a place where you trust you. You do you trust, like, you know what I mean? If your kids in the entertainment business, if you go hang out with Michael Jackson, the biggest entertainer alive, like, you know, it's certain things like that. I'm not saying that it's excusable for the parents to do what they did, but beyond that, let's put the blame where it deserves to be put. When it, when the wrong has been done. If the wrong was done.
Noah Grossman
I guess from that perspective you're kind of right. Like the victims are in, in some. I mean, the parents are in some degree victims because they were groomed too. Do you think these parents hand over their children? To a degree.
Keith Leak Jr.
But sorry, man, this the thing y'all talking about. Michael, y'all know I ain't about to. Look, I will interrupt you every time.
Noah Grossman
No, go for it. I just wanted to comment on you talking about the FBI. Like, I get you, like, they definitely investigate it, but this is my issue. Like Harvey Weinstein, the entire Catholic church, you know, the 2008 marking crash. No one gets arrested. Like the FBI is out here like catching people they wanna catch. And if you're literally not only like a multi millionaire, but the most important person on the planet, who's to say not only can you possibly get out of the FBI, but you can just pay witnesses to lie.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yes, but there was no evidence. The FBI has no evidence. The FBI. And they don't watch Forensic Files. I'm telling you, Forensic Files. I don't watch movies on Netflix. Let's just be clear. I don't watch movies on Netflix. I watch Forensic Files. So it's always like, yeah, and then he killed her. And then, yeah, and then it's like. I'm telling you, that's Forensic Files for.
Noah Grossman
That point where they'd solve it in 48 hours.
Keith Leak Jr.
Oh my God.
Noah Grossman
That's.
Keith Leak Jr.
That's 48 hours.
Ian Hecox
That's 48 hours.
Keith Leak Jr.
That'S 48 hours. This is Forensic Files. This is like, this is like. This may be a 10 year span. This may be a one day span. Like it's all of that.
Noah Grossman
This all happened in 39 seconds.
Keith Leak Jr.
There's evidence against R. Kelly, which I like. I've not seen the tape. Part of me wants to see it. Like, with the new allegations as he. That he's going through, I want to see it, but, like, at the same time, like, yo, did I just watch child porn? You don't want to watch it. You know what I mean? It's like that weird. Like, in between when there's no evidence, I'm just. I'm telling you, they. They can get the hair. Like, bro, if we hook. If we.
Noah Grossman
I got you on that. I got you on that. That's why I don't take those DNA tests, because they. They caught the Golden State killer from a second cousin.
Keith Leak Jr.
Are you a killer? That's the problem. No, I'm not. You're a serial killer.
Ian Hecox
I've been watching a lot of 23andMe, right?
Noah Grossman
Yeah. Every single person who's in prison who has their DNA given everyone who does these tests, like, it is being run, which, like, go for it. No one's doing anything wrong. Like, that's great, but it's just on the idea of, like, great, like, I just got caught or someone was able to do something, like, God forbid I want to be the president, and like, you frame me for murdering someone. It's just like, oh, shit, how did that happen? Like, oh, my brother in 2018 gave his spit.
Keith Leak Jr.
Can you come over and watch Forensic Files with me?
Noah Grossman
I would love to, because I love nothing more than videos that scare me.
Keith Leak Jr.
I don't know which one it is, because they just go back to, you.
Noah Grossman
Want the best one?
Keith Leak Jr.
The best forensic file, Chapter nine.
Noah Grossman
What is the best one so far? Is it the most difficult case to solve or, like, the bloodiest? Most. Like, what is the best forensic file? I feel like all of them are solved.
Keith Leak Jr.
Well, honestly, when you watch all of them, they all seem. Say the same thing. Like somebody didn't get.
Ian Hecox
Somebody did something and then they found a thing and then they caught.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah, and sometimes it takes years to get to that point, you know, but they find evidence.
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Ian Hecox
The two things that I think really stood out for me from the DOC was how much I did not respect the parents and how insane a fandom can be just in regards to. It didn't matter what. What may have happened, there were still people that were willing to believe Michael no matter what. Like, before the jury even, you know, said not guilty when that. When the one case went through, there was all these people that were like, no, he did not do it. He did not. And it's like, well, how do you know? The dude literally makes music. Like, why are you defending this guy? Like, you like a song that he made? Like, I just. I have. I think that fandoms. Fandoms of any kind, to me are toxic because it clouds people's judgment.
Keith Leak Jr.
Okay, can I. Okay. As somebody who has, like, a fandom and, like, you have allowed the five of us to come be a part of, like, something that you've established with Anthony. I mean, I see what you're saying, but at the same time, like, does that mean, like, you're ungrateful for it? Like, you know what I mean? Because that's what we, like. You have that, bro. You have people. People. You have that beyond anybody in this whole crew that we, like, have now. You have people that have been die hard for you. And it's just, like, we can say that this, that, and the other, but, like, at the end of the day, when you're going through your like, or, like, you got, like, a something going on that may be true or may not be true, these people are gonna stand up for you. You know what I mean? So, like, I don't. I don't want to be like, yo, and Anthony, I almost called this. Oh, my God. No, but, like, when it comes down to it, like, we got to be grateful for what we do have. Like, I mean, I see what you're saying, but, like, just go through something, and I'm sure, like, the. The smosh. The smosh universe. We got little issues. We got little problems. And, like, just imagine if the same people. The people that, like, look out for you or Anthony and, like, whatever. What if they didn't, like, fuck with you at all? What if they didn't give you that respect at all? What if you didn't have people that really, like, loved you at all?
Ian Hecox
Yeah. And I don't really relish in the idea of somebody supporting me no matter what. I think I should be judged just as much as everyone else. So I don't Enjoy this, this sort of, you know, fandom beyond reason.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah.
Ian Hecox
You know what I mean? If I fuck up, I don't want people that are in like the smosh viewership to just fully defend me without reason. I would like it if they said, like, yes, you fucked up and like, let's move.
Keith Leak Jr.
But you say that with no fuck ups.
Ian Hecox
What do you mean?
Keith Leak Jr.
You say that with no fuck ups. There's no fuck ups that you've done. There's nothing. There's no. There's been no smosh.
Ian Hecox
Like, like, well, I certainly haven't touched a child.
Keith Leak Jr.
Oh, no. For sure. But I'm not saying no, that's not. That's unexcusable. Unexcusable. Unexcusable. Catch me. Unexcusable. But, like, you want people to be there for you regardless of the fact. And when you fuck up, which, like, we play clean. We like, our chill is.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Keith Leak Jr.
Like, when we got you.
Ian Hecox
I don't want to use, I don't want to use support our following as a. As a crutch. Like, you know, I want to rely on friends and family, but I'm not gonna use the people that are watching us or listening to us as a.
Keith Leak Jr.
Device to come from a place, from unconditional love. So, like, sometimes it's just that they don't know. They don't know. Like, nobody knows. But some people are just willing to be down for you even when you're wrong. You know what I mean? That's unconditional love. That's beautiful.
Noah Grossman
But I think that's also on the person who is receiving the attention in the sense of not only have you not done anything wrong, but you're obviously very honest to what your online Persona is and also what your real life Persona is to the point of there's no back room where you're doing lines of cocaine and there's girls who aren't allowed to talk. Like, things that other YouTubers really have been taken down for. You're not flying to events and talking to people that you shouldn't because they're forcing you.
Keith Leak Jr.
It's like really clean.
Noah Grossman
That's really what it is. There's not a problem. And I think, obviously, because you're a legitimate, respectable human and obviously I think you've got a lot of wisdom and age on some of these new kids who are going out and they're 16 and they've been popular since they're 12, and they don't understand the influence that they have that if you were to do something wrong, you're obviously not about to hide behind children on the Internet or even fans in general. You're the first to stand up and be like, no, let me be an example of what to do even when I've not done something. And that is, let me defend myself.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, well, that's very nice. Thank you.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah, no, like, you, bro, you're good. You don't got no problem as far as I'm concerned.
Ian Hecox
Thank you. I. I think it is that thing where you said unconditional love.
Keith Leak Jr.
I love you.
Ian Hecox
But the fans don't really know the person that they're a fan of. So, like, unconditional love from. From, you know, your mom or your sister, like, they know everything about you.
Keith Leak Jr.
No, they don't.
Ian Hecox
So I think it's.
Noah Grossman
There's mothers that have unconditional love for their sons who are murderers, but they'.
Keith Leak Jr.
Off of what you've portrayed. So, like, be grateful for it. That's the thing. Be grateful for what they know of you. They're going off of what you give.
Ian Hecox
Okay, so look, if I hear a Michael Jackson song come on the radio, I'm still gonna bounce to it.
Noah Grossman
Yeah, I'm definitely still gonna listen.
Ian Hecox
He has some great songs.
Keith Leak Jr.
He has some great songs. He has all the great songs. You wanna be starting something. Human nature. I'm just about to name time.
Noah Grossman
For me, it's his music video. It's like, I was not. I was very young, you know, I knew Michael Jackson from a CD cover that my parents had, the PYT cover. And I knew him from. It might have been 2004, 2005. When he stands on top of his limo in a crowd of people in front of the court. Those are the two images of Michael Jackson.
Keith Leak Jr.
I had him starting his trial.
Noah Grossman
Yeah. That's all I know him for. So watching his music videos with Keith over the last probably four years, or just knowing you, it's been very eye opening to someone who is legitimately creative, legitimately trying to express themselves, and actually has something they want to say to communicate. It's just that this person also possibly most likely was a child predator.
Ian Hecox
Shut your mouth.
Noah Grossman
It's just unfortunately what it is.
Ian Hecox
I mean, there's no doubt, there's no doubt that he was flawed, as we all are.
Keith Leak Jr.
We all are. But he didn't.
Ian Hecox
I mean, he had. I mean, he had a pretty crazy upbringing, and I'm sure he didn't really have the best. He wasn't equipped with exactly a healthy upbringing that could have messed him up.
Noah Grossman
Oh, it did. I mean, that's just he talks about it. That's all he had.
Keith Leak Jr.
Michael Jackson has been so like open about his love for children and just like the things that he's been through because people are always on his back. What he was when he was alive. It's the thing, like, I just feel like if you, you would like try to cover it up more, I really.
Noah Grossman
Believe that he's hiding in plain sight.
Keith Leak Jr.
Ooh, don't do that.
Ian Hecox
I mean, I ain't looking at that. I mean, he did, he did, he did have a lot of things to cover up. I mean, he had like, in his Neverland ranch, he had like multiple doors to get to his room. He had. He's Michael Jackson, but he would have a bell that would go off when somebody was coming down the hallway.
Keith Leak Jr.
A few. Okay, Ian, Ian. Ian does not like to like go out places. And like, Ian is very reclusive. Very reclusive in the best way. No negative, anything, but very reclusive. Just imagine being the biggest pop store.
Noah Grossman
Being a pop store, you gotta continue like that.
Keith Leak Jr.
But just imagine being the biggest pop star in the world. Like everybody, like, if we say, bro, like if anybody sees Michael Jackson as it's next level, you can still walk down the street a little bit. You know what I mean? But if you like say, like, I go to Hollywood all the time, you couldn't just do that sometimes, like throughout the day? No, bro, you would get stopped. It would be like a thing. You know what I mean? Imagine all that. I want this door. I want this door locked. I want this bell right here. I need all that. Who is this? Who? Who is it?
Noah Grossman
We trying to be Michael? There we go.
Keith Leak Jr.
That's me. I'm telling you all the doors.
Noah Grossman
The last statement that I'll make is past any sort of.
Keith Leak Jr.
He didn't do it.
Noah Grossman
Predatory nature. Like what is 100% proven is like his intense drug addiction and drug abuse, like for tens of years to the point of like. All I'm saying is maybe if at 30 he just had some thoughts, like maybe at 50 when he's nearly dead off, you know, some shit that puts him to sleep 23 hours a day, like, who knows? That's a horrible thought that I just put into my own head and everyone else is listening. Let's change that topic. I didn't like that.
Ian Hecox
So that's your final thought.
Keith Leak Jr.
What do you feel? I think he did it.
Ian Hecox
Yes.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yes. Really?
Ian Hecox
Yeah, Yeah, I do.
Noah Grossman
I haven't seen it.
Ian Hecox
Like the, the testimony is notwithstanding, but, but if the kid could describe Markings on the dude's wiener. It's a little suspect.
Noah Grossman
I saw an episode.
Ian Hecox
That's the thing that sold that dude. SVU never gets anything wrong.
Noah Grossman
No, it's really. They stopped a prison guard off of that. They identified a mole on his testicle.
Ian Hecox
That actually happens a lot.
Noah Grossman
It really stuck with me.
Ian Hecox
That happens a lot. And I'm assuming that's why they took photos of all of Michael's bits, because this happens a lot. They'll have a victim describe any distinctive markings.
Keith Leak Jr.
Wow.
Ian Hecox
Apparently we all got some weird markings on our dicks. I guess it's like, you know, they say cheetahs always have, like, different stripes or spots. Yeah, stripes.
Keith Leak Jr.
You got weird spots. You got, like, a spot, like a.
Ian Hecox
Well, see. Cause if I say.
Noah Grossman
Oh, yeah, don't say where.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, just say, like, inside a spot.
Keith Leak Jr.
A spot.
Noah Grossman
Give me the coordinates.
Ian Hecox
No, I think I'm clean. All right, clean. I'll check and I'll let you know.
Noah Grossman
Yeah, the way that you check is you put a mirror on the floor, and then you.
Keith Leak Jr.
I'm not gonna say that I have a mole on my balls, but I got a mole on my balls.
Noah Grossman
Wow. I didn't know that. You know what? And I know which one it is because I've seen one of them, and that one didn't have the mole.
Keith Leak Jr.
Oh, my God.
Noah Grossman
Yeah.
Keith Leak Jr.
Okay, let me just be clear. Noah did not just see my balls. Like, I showed the whole cast. I showed all. We were shooting something, and I was like.
Ian Hecox
Was that when Noah was 17? When we started?
Keith Leak Jr.
Oh, you will not do that. No. Jesus. Jesus. You won't take me to something. That's where we at. Come on. That is not. We will not play into that at all. But the thing was, like, we commit on such a level, and we're all really close, so I decided to show my balls, and everybody laughed. So it was good, right? Was everybody.
Noah Grossman
Were you cool with that? No, it's great. Great memory.
Keith Leak Jr.
Okay, cool, cool.
Ian Hecox
I've seen. I think I've seen your balls.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah.
Ian Hecox
Also, Senior mangina, right? Junior mangina.
Keith Leak Jr.
I did send a picture. I did send a picture.
Noah Grossman
Oh, that one was so funny.
Keith Leak Jr.
That was funny.
Noah Grossman
Oh, my goodness.
Keith Leak Jr.
That's the thing he said, tucked in or out?
Noah Grossman
That was so funny. Oh, my goodness. Wait, wait. What is that from? Is that Scary Movie one?
Keith Leak Jr.
That's two.
Noah Grossman
Two. Oh, my goodness.
Keith Leak Jr.
We love Scary Movie.
Ian Hecox
Now moving on to another. Oh, wait. Do you have final thoughts about, or do you think you've said your piece?
Keith Leak Jr.
I said my piece. When the FBI come Up with more like, I don't want to hold on, Let me bring it back. I don't want to come off that way because that energy is not what it is.
Noah Grossman
Yeah, that's not really who you are.
Keith Leak Jr.
That's not who I am. And when it comes down to it, like, with things that I've gone through growing up and just like, life, situations in life, whatever, not to go into it too deep, when it comes down to it, like, you don't want to not believe people and what they've gone through and what has happened to them. But I will say with, and I hate to say about forensic files, these motherfuckers, they got evidence. They had no evidence on my. And that just messes me up. That's just like, yo, once they get evidence, once they get. Once the FBI get evidence, and this is when I bring it back to that energy. Once the FBI gets evidence, then I will be like, okay, but until then, like, you don't have a 10 year investigation. It don't take that long unless, like, you got shit.
Noah Grossman
Mm.
Keith Leak Jr.
He ain't do it, period. Fight me.
Noah Grossman
How do you think they would have gotten evidence if it's, you know, like an entire maze in order to get into the property? They could have got lost between door six and door seven and they could have died. There could be an FBI agent skeleton on Neverland property. We would never know.
Keith Leak Jr.
This is the problem. That's what I won't do. And, you know, you are triggering me. Next question. Move on.
Ian Hecox
So one of you guys wrote Blueface, the worst rapper alive. Who is Blueface?
Noah Grossman
You don't know Blueface?
Ian Hecox
No.
Noah Grossman
Do you want to talk about Blueface?
Keith Leak Jr.
So I don't want to say he's the worst rapper alive. You know, I wrote that. But, like, that's what everybody comes at him like, for. Like, he raps off beat, yo.
Noah Grossman
So off beat, if you ever heard.
Keith Leak Jr.
Anybody rap off beat. But, like, it's funny because he makes it work.
Ian Hecox
Okay.
Keith Leak Jr.
It works like, okay. So you know how hip hop is just getting worser and worser and worser.
Noah Grossman
Worser is the word.
Keith Leak Jr.
It's worse.
Noah Grossman
He's going without even knowing.
Keith Leak Jr.
I'm gonna try to correct myself. I said it three times worser and worser and worser. That's where it is now. And, like, we support it. So, Tatiana, Blueface, you killing the game, bro. Like, I wish I could come up with some offbeat ass song and be.
Ian Hecox
Like, ok, so that's Blueface. Tatiana.
Noah Grossman
Yeah, Tatiana. And then what's the other one? Drop the floor. Drop your phone. I can't leave it. What's it called? It's the dance move. It's with the pants.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah, I know what you're talking about.
Noah Grossman
Cause that's what blew him up. I watched. So my connection to it is I've got a friend and his little brother. His name is Jacob Gordon. Goes by jg, and he's a rapper. Jg?
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah.
Noah Grossman
I guess in San Francisco, he was able to perform or open for Blueface for $500. Which is, I guess how it works is, like, if you want to open.
Keith Leak Jr.
For these artists, be nice.
Noah Grossman
Really what it is.
Ian Hecox
But then I thought Blueface was, like, really, really big. No, no, no.
Keith Leak Jr.
He made $500.
Noah Grossman
Like, no, Jacob paid $500 in order to perform before Blueface.
Keith Leak Jr.
You paid to. We didn't know that. See that, dude?
Noah Grossman
That's what I'm trying to say.
Ian Hecox
That's a straight up scam.
Noah Grossman
That is what all of these rappers do. Everyone. And that's probably even Blueface before he showed up anywhere. Maybe not Blueface specifically, but other rappers that are getting on local shows. Like, in order to open for people, you will have to pay money.
Ian Hecox
That's bull.
Noah Grossman
Yes. Which is also, at least from my experience with people that Jacob knows is also why a lot of them are drug dealers. Because they don't have normal jobs. They really want to be rappers, and they need to come up with $500.
Keith Leak Jr.
This is not the type of friend you want.
Noah Grossman
No, no, he's not a drug dealer.
Keith Leak Jr.
No. But you just said your friend's name. Yo, what's his name? Look up jg.
Noah Grossman
Look up jg.
Ian Hecox
You're not talking about a friend as a drug dealer.
Noah Grossman
Jg, he's not a drug dealer.
Keith Leak Jr.
No. The FBI. You remember how there was no evidence on Michael?
Noah Grossman
Hey. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
Keith Leak Jr.
There will be evidence on jg.
Noah Grossman
Watch Jacob's music videos. And there's evidence for the FBI, but there's also evidence of modern hip hop.
Keith Leak Jr.
You can't help. You can't help the case. You can't help them, like, put him in jail.
Noah Grossman
I'll be on the witness stand.
Keith Leak Jr.
He didn't do it. He didn't do it.
Noah Grossman
Michael didn't do it. Jacob didn't do it. Sorry. I brought it back, and I didn't mean to.
Keith Leak Jr.
Sorry. Can you please tell Jacob.
Noah Grossman
Sorry, Jacob, I'm so sorry.
Ian Hecox
Noah, do your parents still think Keith stole money from them?
Keith Leak Jr.
Okay, all right, all right. First of all, no. Okay, So I don't know what. Okay, you talking you talking about it? I didn't. Still. No.
Noah Grossman
Whatever.
Keith Leak Jr.
Whatever.
Noah Grossman
Never in my life have I loaned Keith money. Never has he taken money from me or taken money from my family or my parents.
Keith Leak Jr.
Thank you.
Noah Grossman
My parents have. They just have a very specific opinion about me, and it's one of, like, honestly, deadbeat, unsuccessful, like, didn't go to college. So all of those things just really punch into their head that I must be stupid and must make very, very bad decisions.
Keith Leak Jr.
Mind you, I'm gonna, like, tag along. They just really care about their son. That's what parents do. That's what parents do. Okay, keep going.
Noah Grossman
I'll take it.
Keith Leak Jr.
Look, I'm gonna look out for Mom, Ice and Daddy. Yo. You know what I'm saying?
Noah Grossman
Essentially, in the first year of me working at Smosh or always, I've been really good friends with Keith, but I would go over to his apartment probably, like, twice a week, three times a week. I would, like, drop him off. We'd ride together.
Keith Leak Jr.
Brandon, he was 17.
Noah Grossman
No, I was 18 at that time.
Keith Leak Jr.
Oh, cool. Yeah.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Keith Leak Jr.
I still don't know how to drive, so whatever.
Noah Grossman
But, yeah, I was spending time over there, and I don't remember what it was, but my mom was just kind of, like, upset, and I'm totally throwing her under the bus. She's a great woman, very nice, but she's also super passive aggressive. She's tried to fight me a couple times.
Keith Leak Jr.
Oh, my God.
Noah Grossman
Like, actually fights a group like me.
Keith Leak Jr.
Nice.
Noah Grossman
Like, push me into a corner and throw up arms, and I'm just like. And I'm like, I'm not gonna fight you. What is it? Another situation?
Keith Leak Jr.
She just wanted his att.
Noah Grossman
Yes. She really wanted my attention.
Keith Leak Jr.
That is true.
Noah Grossman
That's really true. No, she wasn't gonna hit me or anything. She definitely wanted my attention. It's all out of love.
Ian Hecox
That's a very aggressive way getting.
Keith Leak Jr.
I'm telling you. I grew up in a black household.
Noah Grossman
Yeah, she grew up in a household that fought. Fought a lot. Fought a lot of people. And each member should be arrested, but instead, two of them are prison guards. They strong, so they can beat people up legally. Yeah, yeah. Instead of just on their front yard. But yeah, my mom and my dad both, one time at dinner just kind of blindsided me and was like, hey, so we don't think you're managing your money well. Like, where's it all going? Are you loaning money? Are you giving money to Keith? Did you loan $3,000 to Keith, like, all out of nowhere? Like, they are Building. And it's all because I definitely spent my money. Not smartly, you know, and we hang out, if anyone's wondering. Yeah, we hang out all the time. Listen, if you have money, put it immediately into a 401k. You can start it at any age. So, yeah, I just was spending money how I shouldn't have spent it, which was on a lot of food going out and they thought that I was loaning Keith thousands of dollars.
Ian Hecox
Why did they say. Why did they jump to Keith and then say $3,000?
Noah Grossman
I have no idea.
Keith Leak Jr.
Well, I don't want to go into specifics, but the thing is, man, like, like we all, we have a great understanding. Like we. They know that I've never like stole or taken anything from Noah. I need money, but I won't take from you. You know what I mean? It just, it was one of those things. They're just being parents and they're like wondering who is influencing and who is a part of their son's life. Noah joined Smosh at 17 years old. They're gonna look out for his ass, period. And I mean, they're not racist, but like, of course.
Noah Grossman
No, I think it's really just like when she's fighting. No, no, my parents aren't racist. My grandfather, you know, just like any 75 year old white man is a.
Ian Hecox
75 year old white man.
Noah Grossman
Yeah, I didn't wanna say that because it's unfortunately really aggressive.
Keith Leak Jr.
Black people are racist too. I'll like Jo. It's a difference.
Noah Grossman
I mean, I would argue that to you and I shouldn't, but I would argue prejudice over racist cause. Racism is like systematic. Like you can be prejudiced, but then there's racism which is like hundreds of years. Society's built like systems made history, books, images shown to the public. Everything about it is, that's racism versus prejudice. But I think my parents once again were really trying to get my attention and just talk shit about all my new friends, talk shit about everyone that's near me just so that I would give them attention.
Keith Leak Jr.
Bro, they love you and they're genuinely involved in your wellbeing. Although like I used to tell you, like it's going to take for you to move outside of like being with your mom and your dad, living at home in order for the relationship that you guys have to heal. Because it's just like the older you get, bro, like you want to do things and you can do things because you're grown, they can't stop you. But as long as you living under their like Walls. That's just all it is. Yeah, that's just all it is. So, like, bro, they just care about you, and that's all it was. They just care about they son, and they making sure that Keith Lee Jr. Wasn't taking money. Mom, Ice and Daddy. Yo, I wasn't taking nothing from Noah. Noah has been one of my, like, closest friends, like, within the last four years. And, like, he has helped me out. But, like, it's never been a situation where it was, like, alone.
Noah Grossman
It was just like, no, I'm giving you rides, places.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah, that's the reason you bought me food before.
Ian Hecox
But it must be hard to move out because your car payments are the.
Noah Grossman
Same if people are really curious just about, like, what the financial situation is in the real world. Because I imagine a lot of people watching this are older than me, and a lot of people watching it are younger than me. So realistically, I attempted to purchase a home, a down payment on a home to move out when I was. Just got hired at Smosh. And no matter how much money you can put down on a home, unless you can buy it 100% in cash, they will not. A bank will not approve a loan unless you have the monthly income guaranteed. And I think that's a rollover from the 2008 market crash. But also, I think that's how it always was supposed to be. But on the monthly income that I was provided, and I was fine. I could not own a home no matter how much money I could put down. So instead, I went and I bought a car. And that has been the worst decision I've ever made in my entire life.
Keith Leak Jr.
Look, this is the thing. I'm devil's advocate. I don't know how to drive. I don't know how to maneuver a car. Ian actually tried to help me once before.
Ian Hecox
I did try to teach Keith. I had a. Had this beater Subaru that I was gonna sell to you for 500 bucks.
Keith Leak Jr.
Okay? My dad told me not to buy that.
Unknown
What?
Keith Leak Jr.
Yes. That's the thing. Because it's just like, yo, I'm not about to ride around in some. Like, I ain't doing it. My dad told me not to do it. We've never talked about it.
Ian Hecox
It's a Subaru legacy, all right? That's very special.
Keith Leak Jr.
But it ain't had no air in it. I ain't about to do that.
Ian Hecox
Do y'all understand it?
Keith Leak Jr.
It ain't had no air. The AC was gone.
Noah Grossman
I think you just need to put a Freon in it.
Keith Leak Jr.
It don't matter. What it was was my dad told me not to do it and I don't know how to maneuver cars. And, like, even if.
Ian Hecox
Is this why you don't drive? Because your dad just told you no, and then you just never did.
Keith Leak Jr.
No, that was my reason to not drive your car.
Ian Hecox
Oh, okay, okay.
Keith Leak Jr.
That's the difference, brother. That was the difference. That's why I didn't buy your car.
Ian Hecox
We all got to start somewhere, man.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah, no, and I thank you for the opportunity, but it was just not for me. And it was just like, bro, like, I'm getting to the point. I will say, like, hindsight, I really appreciate you. Like, guys, there's a picture of Ian and I just like, ah. And I'm just in front of this car like, ah. In my, like, little brown hat. Like, bro, I'm getting to a point. I'm getting older. I need to learn how to drive.
Ian Hecox
I will say, I will teach you again. Yeah, not in my car, though.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah, right, right.
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Keith Leak Jr.
This is the thing. Beyond that, like, I feel like we could make it a whole vlog and a whole thing. Yeah, I used to say, like, why? Why doesn't Olivia's Asian ass teach me how to drive? She can't drive.
Noah Grossman
We should take you to bumper cars first. Have you ever done that?
Keith Leak Jr.
Yes, I have. Don't you disrespect me.
Noah Grossman
All I'm saying is I passed the driving test and I'm still where I am. I don't know if you should get on the road.
Keith Leak Jr.
All right, how much do you think.
Ian Hecox
You'Ve spent on Uber fares in the past three years?
Noah Grossman
Oh, yeah, wait, let's try to think of the actual price that I spent on my car.
Keith Leak Jr.
And actually, the price, it's a lot. It's a lot, y'all.
Ian Hecox
But I mean, you don't have a car, so you have to take an.
Keith Leak Jr.
I do.
Ian Hecox
It's not like a brag of like, but how much do you think you are You. Do you not want to say?
Keith Leak Jr.
I don't want to say. And it's just a lot. Like, at this point, I could have had two cars.
Ian Hecox
But, I mean. I mean, car ownership insurance, that's also a lot. So there's also an argument to never have a car.
Keith Leak Jr.
But I could have just been putting that, like, toward, like, that bill at the end of the month. Oh, no.
Noah Grossman
Public transportation would have saved us both so much goddamn money.
Keith Leak Jr.
No, I feel that that's the thing. I've been there, done that. When I first started, Smosh. Like, that's what I was doing. Oh, yeah, that's right. Then you start whatever. You know? Know whatever. When that comes down to it, bro. Like, no, like, I can't. Like, I don't want to be on the bus. I don't want to be, like, within that. It takes hours. And y'all know I'll be late anyway. I'm surprised I'm here on time. Let's be real. And this is like 8 in the morning. I don't know. Anyways, with that being said, public transportation is for the birds.
Ian Hecox
Oh, damn. I mean, LA used to have a better public transportation. There's. There's a. There's a conspiracy theory about why our public transportation is bad. Because we used to have the tram system.
Noah Grossman
It's not a conspiracy theory. It's actually taught in history class, like I was taught in history class. It was.
Keith Leak Jr.
Teach them, Noah. Let them know.
Noah Grossman
No, it was just basically, the consumer industry had vehicles. They had cars, and they wanted to sell them to people. And they didn't just want to sell it as a way that you move your family. They wanted everyone to have a car. Cause that's a lot more cars. If you have a lot more cars, you get to build a lot more roads. All of these things that kind of interconnect to each other. Interstate stuff like that. They actually sold the car to young kids as the only way that you will ever date someone outside of your town. It's at such a time when, like, the culture is so different that the car defines, like, the new era of what is America.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Noah Grossman
But in California, we had the best public transportation system all the way up the coast. And then they tore up the trams. Every city used to look like San Francisco. And, like, you could see that in my 10th grade class. Mr. Lundgren. I was a great history teacher.
Keith Leak Jr.
Shout out to Mr. Rundgren.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, well, yeah, because. Because LA used to have a really great tram system, and it cut diagonally across the sort of city Grid. And the conspiracy was that the rubber company.
Noah Grossman
Oh, I don't know that far, but.
Ian Hecox
It was like oil and rubber because tires for cars. That they essentially lobbied to take the trams out. Yeah. I believe there was also an argument that they needed to replace the trams. That would have cost the city a lot of money, blah, blah, blah.
Noah Grossman
I mean, we don't replace our roads.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, that's true. So they took all the trams out and now it's just a bunch of cars. And then also these weird diagonal streets that end up fucking up all the traffic because they weren't originally supposed to be streets. So there's cars driving on things that shouldn't be anyway. It's a pain in the ass. And I think public transportation, I mean it has to be the answer. It has to be like there's only gonna be more and more people and the only way that we can put all those people in one place is to optimize public transportation. And I'd like that. And there's no solution yet. That sucks.
Keith Leak Jr.
Well, my solution is Uber and that is public transportation.
Noah Grossman
I think it's private that counts.
Keith Leak Jr.
Whatever, take it how you want. Yeah, so what if I gonna Uber pool?
Noah Grossman
I think that's still private. It's a private company. Private vehicle, private driver.
Ian Hecox
It's also like, unless you're like, unless you're doing Uber pool, you're still just. It's just like you're driving yourself, you know, it's not really taking a car off the road.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah, I never drove myself, so that sounded weird. Really? I mean, bump a car, Ian. Tell me my dad. No, no, not for real. That don't count. What's levels?
Noah Grossman
Yeah, for real though, don't buy a car.
Ian Hecox
Yeah. So Noah, you.
Keith Leak Jr.
Here we go.
Ian Hecox
So Keith is somebody that needs to start driving. Noah, you are somebody that needs to stop driving.
Noah Grossman
Dude, the issue is Los Angeles, which is at all hours. This is really what it is. Unfortunately, I went directly from high school of waking up at 7am, whatever, going to sleep at 4pm what it is. I've always worked when I was a kid, so putting in 12 hour days is great. It's awesome. Child labor laws, consistency of having to go into Beverly Hills from where I live is straight up a three hour round trip. And that is being done at seven in the morning and that's being done at eight o'clock at night. And the city is the worst possible place to drive. There is like two lights per street, everyone crosses the lights, everyone's on their phone, no one's paying Attention like, me included. Our boss, who actually ran the company into the ground. Him and a couple other people actually caught me on my phone once parked. And I was like, ah, yeah, you caught me. Like, put it down. Like, please don't text and drive. Don't look at your phone and drive. I've gotten a lot better at it. But unfortunately, I have never been in an accident due to, like, being, like, straight up horribly distracted. Except for one time I bumped into someone's bumper dancing. Oh, and that was with Keith.
Ian Hecox
I was gonna say. Cause, Keith, you've been in the car with Noah on two of his accidents.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah, it might have been. It might have been more. I just don't remember because.
Noah Grossman
It'S one real accident and one dude trying to blackmail me.
Keith Leak Jr.
Well, you know, beyond that, Noah, you were. Okay, can we talk about this?
Noah Grossman
Can we really talk about this? I was dancing with my eyes closed.
Keith Leak Jr.
Just to be clear. I don't wanna let him. He was dancing with his mother. Eyes closed.
Ian Hecox
He was shut with that said I wasn't driving.
Noah Grossman
We were. It's just that I started dancing with my eyes closed, and I started shaking my butt a little like this, and it caused my foot to get off the brake just enough that, like, my eyes were closing. Keith was like, noah, Noah, Noah. And, like, I opened my eyes, and by the time I opened my eyes, I had already just, like.
Keith Leak Jr.
Can we also talk about how now, like, I've been so scarred and to the point where I'm, like, the worst passenger driver ever? Because I'm just like. It's just like, all that. Come on. And he's like, yo, dude. He gets defensive, but he's like, thank you.
Noah Grossman
Yeah, I'm always fine with it. It's fin. Also always at the times when I'm, like, not gonna get in an accident, if that makes sense.
Keith Leak Jr.
I give you that. But that's the thing. We've been through too many.
Noah Grossman
Yeah. Two is too many.
Ian Hecox
How many accidents do you think have I been in?
Noah Grossman
I think I've been in probably seven total. Two of which weren't my fault.
Keith Leak Jr.
It's a real one. He's alive still.
Noah Grossman
And some of those being small, like, very small things. Yeah.
Ian Hecox
And you've never really been legitimately injured.
Keith Leak Jr.
We are not the same.
Noah Grossman
No, I'm not the same. And it was shock that told me that I was fine. And then going back to work, that really. Like, I'm tilted. I'm tilted.
Ian Hecox
Oh, I remember, like. Yeah. One of the days you came into work, you were not okay. You laid down for like, a day, right?
Noah Grossman
That was after we did the first smosh Summer games on our way home, bro. Once again, it's a situation where it's like, okay, like, I gotta go. Fucking two hours and like, 18 freeways that I've never heard of before. To get someone. You're taking someone break checked me. Yeah.
Keith Leak Jr.
I was taking Keith on the highway.
Noah Grossman
On the highway. This person, like, straight up wanted me to die.
Keith Leak Jr.
They did not know.
Ian Hecox
Were you tailgating them?
Keith Leak Jr.
I'll let you explain.
Noah Grossman
I. Essentially, there's two freeways split, and I have to get on one freeway, and they don't ever connect again. Okay. Ever. I'm gonna be stuck for another hour, so I'm going. And we've got at least half a mile, maybe not half a mile, maybe a quarter of a mile before I have to get. And the entire time, there's this car next to me. What was it? Not a Ford. Not the box Ford, but something else. It might have been a box Ford. Actually. Doesn't matter.
Keith Leak Jr.
It was a van.
Noah Grossman
Was it a van? Maybe that's why it looked like it was a whole.
Keith Leak Jr.
You know what they.
Ian Hecox
Basically, the Ford Edge.
Noah Grossman
I'll talk about it. Yeah. And it was this family. And I don't know if the dad was upset that day, if the car was annoying. I don't know what was going on. But he was definitely in a battle with me about not letting me over. I tried to speed up in front of him. He would speed up. I tried to slow down, he would slow down. So finally I slow down even more to get behind him. And we're at the point where, like, there's literally a metal median that will split my car in half and murder both Keith and I. So I have to slow down and try to get behind him. So I slow down and try to get behind him. Also, I'm pretty sure the freeways were wet, now that I think about it.
Keith Leak Jr.
Oh, my God, you are lying. No. Really?
Noah Grossman
Because when we finally got. No. When we finally got picked up where we stopped, the street was wet.
Keith Leak Jr.
When the cops were there, we wrecked, if anything.
Noah Grossman
Well, yeah, but it didn't just randomly rain. It didn't randomly rain. All I'm saying is, is I got over behind this guy, and this dude immediately, like, slams on his brakes to the point where, like, I wasn't necessarily expecting that he would fully slam on his brakes. So I didn't fully slam on him myself. I did lightly, and then I realized that he was not lifting his foot. So then I slowed down as Much as I could put both my feet on. Slammed. The car was, like, skidding like.
Ian Hecox
You braked like a Flintstone. You put both your feet on the brake pedal.
Noah Grossman
Yeah. When in that situation, I was like, holy shit. You wanna go for it?
Keith Leak Jr.
I really just wanna say that's not how I remember it.
Noah Grossman
That's how I remember. Maybe I'm putting the memories together right now.
Keith Leak Jr.
I think you lying.
Noah Grossman
What do you remember?
Keith Leak Jr.
Because this is how I remember it. I remember, you know, I always played DJ in your car. You know, I'm always trying to figure something. So we listening to something. I don't know. At that point, what were we listening to?
Noah Grossman
Probably Shania Twain.
Keith Leak Jr.
We go, like, loving you forever and for always. That's probably what we're listening to. We're jamming out. I don't know what happened. The car in front of the van ended up, like, stopping, like, on the highway, which is unheard of. Like, I mean, I don't know how to drive. But I will say any car stop on the highway is just, like, wrong. And I'm not going to say that it was completely your fault. But, I mean, when you hit somebody from the back. No.
Noah Grossman
And we're in California too.
Keith Leak Jr.
It's always. I don't remember there being rain.
Noah Grossman
I think it was already wet. It wasn't raining. I think it was already wet.
Keith Leak Jr.
I don't even remember there being wet.
Ian Hecox
Road. It was somebody brave.
Noah Grossman
When we got picked up, it was wet. And now that I'm thinking about it, the first smosh. Summer games, I think the second day that we were there, it rained.
Ian Hecox
So did the guy stop? Did he just. Did he flee the scene?
Noah Grossman
His car was totally fine.
Keith Leak Jr.
Right under. Under the brakes. Yeah.
Noah Grossman
So the way that I was braking was. I was braking obviously to try to not hit anyone. So my car probably went from like 60 miles an hour to like 20, like, really quickly. And it's. It lowered the front and so I was able to hit under his bumper. So this dude's damage was like six scratches. And I posted a photo on Instagram. Cause it was that shocking and that ridiculous that I had to do it. Cause it wasn't even my car. It was my brother's car.
Keith Leak Jr.
That's honest.
Noah Grossman
Exploded. My car exploded in a way that I had never seen before.
Keith Leak Jr.
We got whiplash, bro.
Noah Grossman
Yes. Really, like, hit. All of a sudden, my lights are on, there's smoke. Within 30 seconds, there's an officer behind us. Like, I'm gonna push you off the freeway.
Keith Leak Jr.
Hold on. Can we talk about how the officer was a total dickhead. Like, total dickhead. Like, this is the thing. Like, you got Noah and I, we're goofy ass people, you know, we try to make light of our situations. I started to, like, joking around. Yeah, there we go. I started to, like, like, panic. Noah's like, keith, I need you to relax. I need you to relax. Like, I'm a panicker. People don't realize it, but I really am. And you calm me down.
Noah Grossman
No, you scared me. The first thing you said was, I can't breathe. I was saving my life.
Ian Hecox
Before I.
Noah Grossman
Check if I can breathe.
Keith Leak Jr.
You gotta breathe.
Ian Hecox
You can't say, I'm already getting anymore.
Keith Leak Jr.
Well, that's where we was at. I couldn't breathe. When it came. When it came down to it, it got to the point where. No. And I know it's calmed me down. We're all good. Whatever. We're starting to, like, chill. We couldn't move. Noah tried to drive off. Couldn't move. Police officer came right behind. The people are just. It's on the highway. So people are just like, going, going, going really fast. So we're scared. You know what I mean?
Ian Hecox
You're, like, in the middle of all the traffic.
Keith Leak Jr.
Oh, God. Yeah. And I mean, the exit is down there.
Ian Hecox
So I mean, like, worst fear, man.
Keith Leak Jr.
When it came down to it, the police officer, they came over, like, in the middle, like, people are just screw, screw, screw passing us. And it just got to the point where, like, the guy came up, the police officer came up, and he started asking us questions. And I don't know what happened, but me and Noah started laughing. We said. He said, well, I don't think this is funny. I'm like, well, what the fuck you want us to do, cry?
Noah Grossman
Yeah.
Keith Leak Jr.
No, no.
Noah Grossman
What he said. And this was after we got pushed to the side and albeit, like, unfortunately. You know, this family is honestly a bunch of greedy people. Like, honest to God, greedy human beings who are teaching their children horrible examples because their vehicle was scratched. Six scratches. My car exploded. My friend and I are obviously, like, injured and in shock. The back of my car just got beat up, beat up by this cop car. And I'll thank you for pushing me off the road, but this guy definitely was like, it's already fucked up. Like, let me just kind of bash.
Keith Leak Jr.
This man to the point where my.
Noah Grossman
Back bumper looked than the car that I crashed into and exploded my own vehicle straight up. This family of, like, five come out and immediately they're like, ooh, ooh, ooh. They call other people and they don't want to talk to us. I'm trying to go over to apologize. The officer's like, don't talk to them. And I'm like, I just want to apologize. He's like, don't do it. We're standing and I think we're laughing at how much my car is damaged and how much I'm fucked.
Keith Leak Jr.
We just like, what the hell happened?
Noah Grossman
Like, straight up how much I'm fucked.
Keith Leak Jr.
After the whiplash got.
Noah Grossman
And also the joke that now there's a second van that showed up to pick up the people from this van. And they kind of look the exact same. And everyone's piling into another van and their van. They could totally drive it off, but they're gonna get it towed, whatever. It's totally fine. So this officer comes over to me and is asking us questions. Like, I don't think that's funny. Like, you could have really hurt people.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah.
Noah Grossman
I'm like, bro, who are you looking at?
Ian Hecox
Are you looking at the car or.
Noah Grossman
My car that exploded. An airbag went down my throat.
Keith Leak Jr.
That was probably cause I was the only black person. You never know the officer was black.
Noah Grossman
If you don't remember.
Keith Leak Jr.
Oh, oh, yeah, the officer was fine. The officer was all that.
Noah Grossman
Anyway, he wasn't.
Keith Leak Jr.
Listen.
Noah Grossman
Anyway, I don't think his partner wasn't.
Keith Leak Jr.
But hold on, let me like, finish the story. Olivia ended up coming to. Like, we were downtown where Olivia lived at the time. She doesn't live there anymore, so watch out. Got to a point where she came to get me, took me home. Your parents did not speak to me, bro. No, no, they were mad at me.
Noah Grossman
They probably wanted to blame you. They think that you took money from me too. Like during the accident. You took my gold bar up my bar.
Keith Leak Jr.
Now we good. Now we all Gucci. We Gucci, Gucci, Gucci, Gucci. But at that point, I was like, hello, Mr. Goat. Sorry.
Noah Grossman
They were too busy being disappointed.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah, it's okay. You're. Well, you're great, bro. I want you to know. You're great. You're just a kid.
Noah Grossman
Thank you. That's really nice. Well, I'm a much poorer kid.
Ian Hecox
What's. I mean, my insurance.
Noah Grossman
You want to know my insurance? It's $7,200 a year. It's just to drive a vehicle.
Ian Hecox
That is so dumb.
Keith Leak Jr.
Why don't you Uber, join me?
Noah Grossman
You just gotta still have to pay the car insurance.
Ian Hecox
You just gotta take the bird scooter.
Noah Grossman
My brother bought one for $300. He takes it, he rides A bird to a train and then takes a train to his job.
Ian Hecox
Okay.
Noah Grossman
Yeah.
Ian Hecox
All right.
Noah Grossman
That's Sherman Oak's life, I guess.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Noah Grossman
Out in the Valley, we got the Orange Line, and that's two buses.
Keith Leak Jr.
I think it's two buses.
Ian Hecox
Literally just two.
Noah Grossman
Yeah. I don't know if it matters or not, but back in the 70s, my area, the Valley, tried to become its own city, and Los Angeles made it legally. Kind of like what happened in Spain, where Spain barred. What is it? Catalone? From voting to become independent. LA made it illegal for us to vote to be independent because we were so much of the tax dollars.
Ian Hecox
They didn't allow you guys to secede?
Noah Grossman
No. And they told us that they'd give us a train. And then I guess by the time I was born, was like, you know, 15 years after it happened, and they had decided on a bus line.
Ian Hecox
It's like a stepfather trying to make your kid happy. We'll give you a train.
Noah Grossman
Yeah.
Ian Hecox
Please don't leave us. Yeah, man, I am. I'm sorry.
Noah Grossman
No, it's fine. It's fine. I just. I.
Ian Hecox
Literally, the worst luck.
Noah Grossman
Yeah. I put all my money into a 401k because I figured that no one could take it from me, you know.
Keith Leak Jr.
I'm actually expecting an apology for Noah. I don't know if I ever got.
Noah Grossman
I think I've said sorry before.
Keith Leak Jr.
I remember.
Noah Grossman
Okay.
Ian Hecox
Ruining your life.
Keith Leak Jr.
Well, I'm gonna wait on it. Dude.
Noah Grossman
I'm definitely messed up. This shoulder pops, like, it feels uncomfortable. Like, everything about it is, bro.
Keith Leak Jr.
I might have got scoliosis from that one.
Noah Grossman
From that.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah. That 23 years before.
Noah Grossman
I don't think.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, I don't think that's how scoliosis.
Keith Leak Jr.
Works, but I mean, like, I probably got it, though.
Ian Hecox
Yeah. I think Courtney has scoliosis.
Keith Leak Jr.
Oh, that's not a joke. My mom has slight scoliosis. Scoliosis.
Noah Grossman
That's funny.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah. She get, like.
Noah Grossman
That's not a joke. Yeah, that's funny.
Ian Hecox
She's got a little pimpling.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah. Because my mom is a nail technician, so, like, when she sits, she sits, like, a certain way, and it's just, like, messed up. So her, like, her, like. I guess, like, the way she sits, one side is lifted. She's been doing it for years.
Noah Grossman
I kind of. I kind of relate to that a little bit. My dad has something. I don't know what it's called, but he was born and his torso is twisted from, like, his bottom part.
Keith Leak Jr.
That's all.
Noah Grossman
No, no, no. It's not along the spine. It's along, like, the actual ribs. Like, he's got very protruding ribs. And we all have a little bit of it, but yeah, that's protruding ribs.
Ian Hecox
This got weird.
Noah Grossman
Anyway, don't buy a car.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah, don't. And Uber with me. Stop driving.
Noah Grossman
I don't have money for Uber anymore. Literally, all my money went into my car, and then the rest I put into my 401k. And it's a joke. Can I say one thing about 401ks that I learned?
Ian Hecox
Please do.
Keith Leak Jr.
He's been trying to teach me.
Noah Grossman
Yeah. Really? Everyone out there, 401k. Safest thing you could do. I don't know what being invested into it might be oil companies. And I would hate to find that out. Essentially, Defy Media barred us from having or me from having a 401k until you were 21 years old. So I worked there for three years. And then over the last. When we were there, before we shut down, I was able to put pieces of my paycheck. The main point that I want to get at is I was trying to move the money from that fund because they were going to just take it because the company doesn't pay for the plan anymore. But I was sent a letter because I was like, no, I'd like that money so I can put it into my own personal 401. It was $5,584. If that $5,584 would stay there until 2050, it would be worth $168,374. There is no world where I can turn that into that number in that amount of time. Unless, like, I win the lottery or, like, it would really require magic. So if you have $10, $50, you can start a 401k whenever. Just put it in. It doesn't matter.
Ian Hecox
Yep. Mutual funds. Yeah. That's something that my dad taught me early. Early on was mutual fundamental. I think it's similar. It's low risk, low reward. So it's not like you're going out there, like, I'm gonna invest in this tech company and maybe I'll make millions, and most likely I'll lose all my money. It's usually very safe. And they have mutual funds. If you don't want to invest in, like, war stuff or oil stuff, mutual funds. So you can still be. You can still morally invest if you care. That's cool. I'm a look.
Noah Grossman
I'm gonna look where my money's at.
Ian Hecox
Yeah. Cause I have, like, one that's like an invest than American companies. So it's like, oh, that's kind of nice.
Keith Leak Jr.
Can I borrow $5?
Ian Hecox
What?
Noah Grossman
Start your 401k right now. That $5 will probably be like 12,000.
Ian Hecox
It'll be worth $6 and 2100.
Keith Leak Jr.
I got a problem with that. Y'all didn't answer my question.
Noah Grossman
Can you have $5?
Keith Leak Jr.
No, no, I said borrow. I'll pay it back.
Noah Grossman
No, I don't believe that.
Keith Leak Jr.
Ian is not saying anything.
Ian Hecox
I wasn't listening.
Keith Leak Jr.
Ian got the money.
Ian Hecox
I was. I was thinking. I was thinking about the fact that I said 2,100, and I was really embarrassed by that.
Keith Leak Jr.
Can I watch 2100?
Ian Hecox
Yeah. The year 2100.
Keith Leak Jr.
That's all I need.
Noah Grossman
I wish I was born in 2100.
Ian Hecox
What would that be like?
Noah Grossman
It would be a fiery hell.
Keith Leak Jr.
Scorched.
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Noah Grossman
At that point, I think the Illuminati has taken over. I think my parents are robots and I live underground.
Keith Leak Jr.
Okay.
Noah Grossman
Possibly on the moon. Ooh.
Ian Hecox
But maybe we could live underground like in the Matrix where it's just a big orgy all the time.
Noah Grossman
Oh, but no, they live. Oh, I see. The people who are with the robots live above ground though, right?
Ian Hecox
Well, no, no, the above ground thing that was in the Matrix, that wasn't real, you see.
Noah Grossman
Wow.
Ian Hecox
Because the people lived in Zion, which was down below, because they had a war with the machines.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah, yeah. And they.
Noah Grossman
They blocked out the.
Ian Hecox
Blocked out the sun. And then the machines realized they could.
Noah Grossman
But in the end of the third one, yes. Neo goes, and he plugs himself into that, like, weird seat. Isn't that above ground?
Ian Hecox
Well, no, no. He reaches the surface, you know, and then he crests, like, the clouds. It's all beautiful. And then he just goes back down. I think he dies. Oh, wow. No spoiler. No. Everyone's just in that big orgy pit in the.
Keith Leak Jr.
Oh, I heard orgy, like, three times. I heard.
Noah Grossman
You want to talk about R. Kelly again?
Keith Leak Jr.
Hold on. I don't want to talk about that.
Noah Grossman
Sorry. That's insensitive.
Keith Leak Jr.
That's cool. That's terrible.
Ian Hecox
I don't even want to watch the R. Kelly one. Cause I'm like, okay, yeah, all right, that's fine.
Keith Leak Jr.
No, no, you cannot watch the Michael Jackson one and not watch the R. Kelly one.
Ian Hecox
I think there's a little more waste riding on Michael Jackson than there is R. Kelly.
Noah Grossman
R. Kelly just did an interview. Hold on.
Keith Leak Jr.
There's more weight on Michael Jackson, you think?
Ian Hecox
Yeah.
Keith Leak Jr.
No, do you understand? He just like, yo, R. Kelly has two new mix. Not mixtapes, but sex tapes slash mixtapes with underage girls.
Ian Hecox
Yo.
Keith Leak Jr.
That's why.
Noah Grossman
Mixtapes.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah. Like, he just released some, like, stuff like that is so serious. He didn't release it.
Ian Hecox
It's serious. But I'm saying that I just don't care about R. Kelly also.
Noah Grossman
I think that sounds, like, super sealed.
Ian Hecox
If I believe. I believe all. All the stuff against R. Kelly. Yeah. Yes. I'm like, okay. Yeah, he's a. He's a piece of shit. I feel like we kind of been new for, like, 10 years that he was that way because, like, back in the day with, like, Dave Chappelle about the. The peeing on the.
Keith Leak Jr.
That is not a good reason to believe it. Dave.
Noah Grossman
I mean, I know all my truth from Dave Chappelle told me about it earlier.
Keith Leak Jr.
Special commentary all day. But we are not gonna be like, he did it because Dave Chappelle said, like, I pee on.
Ian Hecox
No, but there was. There was a tape. There was a. There was a tape.
Keith Leak Jr.
There was a tape. There was a P. Tape. There was a P. Tape. But there's new tapes, like, two. And one of them. And one of them, he says. I don't even know if he says something about 14 year old.
Noah Grossman
Ooh, oh, my goodness. Taping.
Keith Leak Jr.
No.
Noah Grossman
You think he would stop being a predator? Really?
Ian Hecox
I'm gonna say some predatory. Is that camera on? Nah. Who cares?
Keith Leak Jr.
That's what he's known for, like, recording everything. Everything. He's very in control. He's very. Like. He has to have it his way. I'm telling. If you watch this. This. This freaking documentary. I told you a little bit about it.
Ian Hecox
What's it on?
Keith Leak Jr.
But I watch it on Facebook. Y'all know I get that shit. I watch that on Facebook, and I watch all six parts in, like, two days, like, over time. And when I tell you, like, beyond. I hate to say this, like, they did a really good job with it because, like, like, beyond it just being a documentary, y'all, I was entertained. I was like, oh, my God. He did this, too. Oh, my God. How was the time? She was 17. Aaliyah was. Oh, my God. Where we at?
Ian Hecox
Aaliyah was in there.
Keith Leak Jr.
Aaliyah. Yo. He buried Aaliyah at 14 years old. 16 years old. That's what I'm saying. You gotta. Everyone knew it, and everybody knew it. It came out. That's the thing. All this is real Aaliyah.
Ian Hecox
Okay, dude, me, maybe.
Keith Leak Jr.
No.
Ian Hecox
Maybe R. Kelly killed Aaliyah.
Keith Leak Jr.
You like that.
Noah Grossman
Oh, see, I. I mean, I half like that. She was on a plane, right?
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah, but that's.
Ian Hecox
She died in the dumbest way. Like, a lot of people end up.
Noah Grossman
Dying on planes, but.
Ian Hecox
Well, yeah, but they told her that it was. The plane was overloaded, and they were just like, meh. And then they all got on the plane, and the plane crashed because it was overloaded.
Noah Grossman
How do you overload a plane?
Ian Hecox
Too many people, too big of an entourage.
Noah Grossman
You almost get to know, was it a private jet?
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah. Yeah. Like, she had her makeup people and all that.
Noah Grossman
That makes. I don't know why in my brain, this whole time, I was imagining Aaliyah dying on a plane, flying coach.
Keith Leak Jr.
Cause you ain't cultured. You ain't cultured. You need to know this. That's the thing. This the thing. If you know anything about the R. Kelly situation, Aaliyah was the first one. She came out with the album when she was 16 years old, and freaking R. Kelly was behind it. Her first single is called Age Ain't Nothing But a Number. Oh.
Unknown
And he wrote it.
Keith Leak Jr.
He wrote it. I'm telling you. Watch it, bro. You will be, like, beyond anything it is. Like, watch that.
Ian Hecox
Yeah, I'm interested. I'll go find the rip on Facebook.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah. You ain't about to watch Michael Jackson and not watch R. Kelly.
Noah Grossman
You.
Keith Leak Jr.
You get. Dude, that's real. Real.
Ian Hecox
Yeah. Trapped in the Closet was great.
Keith Leak Jr.
It was so great. I love it.
Noah Grossman
And the Trapped in the closet, he knew that was a joke, right, when he was making that.
Ian Hecox
That's what I want to know, because Trapped in the Closet is hilarious.
Noah Grossman
31 episodes, right?
Keith Leak Jr.
This is the thing, y'all. Like, he was serious as fuck when he came up with it, but he's.
Ian Hecox
The one that brought real talk into. I feel like he kind of brought the phrase real talk into pop culture.
Keith Leak Jr.
No, that's just, like, real talk. We all say real talk. That's the thing. He said it. But that's what we say all the time, right?
Ian Hecox
But he brought it into, like, maybe I'm wrong.
Keith Leak Jr.
That's the first time you heard it. That's just been, like, what it is. That's just something we all say. You know what I mean? I don't think he was the first one to ever do that.
Ian Hecox
Not the first one to do it, but to make it pop culture the.
Keith Leak Jr.
First time you heard it.
Ian Hecox
I don't know.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah, maybe.
Ian Hecox
Bottom line, feel free to idolize musicians, but don't give them a free break on anything. I think that's what we think. That's what we learned today.
Noah Grossman
Yeah, I think. Yeah, most people. My issue always goes back to like. Like really the main issues in my life are like, you know, the 2008 financial crisis where 92% of Americans had less than $2,000 liquid to their name and no one was arrested. So I'm all down for arresting these pedophiles. But also there's a lot of real ass world problems.
Keith Leak Jr.
I always teach that damn lesson.
Noah Grossman
All of our water pipes, all of our bridges, all of our roads, everything. Our electrical grid system, like, it's all pretty rough. I want a documentary on that.
Ian Hecox
You'll get no argument from me on that.
Keith Leak Jr.
I should make it.
Noah Grossman
Maybe I should. Maybe I should.
Keith Leak Jr.
I'll help you. Yeah, we'll figure it out.
Noah Grossman
You'll be my cameraman.
Ian Hecox
And Flint water still bad?
Noah Grossman
Yeah. The worst part is Flint water is there's like. Like tens of hundreds of counties that have worse water than Flint. It's just that they will not test it because they know the answer. Our actual water safety regulations. And this comes from like the 1990s. Not any sort of administration or either side matters. But it is the Clinton administration. They give just random numbers without any sort of scientific evidence behind it. It's really what it is. I'm not talking about the Clintons or anything like that. All I'm saying is, technically, during the 90s, they gave certain levels of what water should be. And that includes levels of arsenic, levels of lead, things like that. And the answer is like, maybe you shouldn't have arsenic in your water. Maybe you shouldn't have to treat the lead with, but maybe it makes it.
Ian Hecox
Taste better, you know? It does. A little arsenic.
Keith Leak Jr.
It does.
Noah Grossman
That's why New York water.
Ian Hecox
Throw a little chlamydia in there. It's a nice, nutty flavor.
Keith Leak Jr.
Oh, my God.
Noah Grossman
It's really the metal in the water. Like, I hate to bring every joke down to reality, but New York bagels and everything is better. And like, they claim it's the water. Their water has more metal in it.
Ian Hecox
I love New York bagels. You can't freaking beat New York bagels. They're so good. Sorry, we're about up on time. Final thoughts? Any last thoughts?
Noah Grossman
I don't own a car. I have no money.
Keith Leak Jr.
Don't own a car. Everybody knows I'm a Michael Jackson fan. I've not seen the documentary.
Ian Hecox
Will you. Can you do us a favor and watch it?
Keith Leak Jr.
I can do a favor and watch it. Rightfully so. I feel like people's voices need to be heard. I Don't believe it. With all the. The FBI. Not with the FBI. Not having.
Ian Hecox
Because Forensic files.
Keith Leak Jr.
Forensic files. I'm gonna go back to it. But when it comes down to it, I will watch it eventually. Right now, I'm not into it. A few people have texted me. You see it? Oh, my God, I'm sick. Well, you know what? Don't text me that bullshit. I'm not ready. I'll watch it when I'm ready. Okay? We don't need to get into it. Yeah.
Ian Hecox
Well, thank you guys so much.
Keith Leak Jr.
This is cool.
Ian Hecox
Thank you, Noah. Thank you, Keith.
Keith Leak Jr.
It's cool.
Noah Grossman
Thank you.
Ian Hecox
I feel better talking about this. I'm glad we got to talk about it. And obviously, obviously, we're still friends.
Keith Leak Jr.
Yeah, we are.
Ian Hecox
There's. There's no. There's no, you know, friction between that.
Keith Leak Jr.
I got a problem. It's me. It ain't true. It's me. I just. Michael Jackson is very touchy for me.
Ian Hecox
Of course he's got good moves.
Noah Grossman
Can you imagine committing crimes and then just being like. But he dances.
Keith Leak Jr.
Stop, Odie. Guys. All right.
Noah Grossman
You see his hat?
Keith Leak Jr.
That's what I won't do.
Ian Hecox
Is you done or is you finished? Thank you guys so much. Be sure to subscribe to the podcast on any of the podcast apps that exist in the world. If you're watching this on YouTube, it's censored because of ad adpocalypse. So if you want to hear us say shit penis, then you're gonna have to listen to it on the podcasty things. And it comes out on Wednesdays on the podcast thing and on Fridays on the YouTube page. Thank you guys so much. Thank you so much, Noah and Keith, who has ran off. And we'll see you guys next week.
Noah Grossman
Peace.
Ryan Seacrest
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Podcast Summary: Smosh Mouth S1: #4 - We Don’t Agree On Michael Jackson
Episode Details:
In this engaging episode of Smosh Mouth, hosts Ian Hecox, Keith Leak Jr., and Noah Grossman delve into a heated discussion surrounding the controversial legacy of pop icon Michael Jackson. The conversation weaves through personal anecdotes, societal issues, and the complexities of fandom, offering listeners a mix of humor, introspection, and candid opinions.
The episode kicks off with the trio engaging in playful exchanges about tap dancing, setting a relaxed and humorous tone. Early discussions touch on their personal backgrounds and relationships, establishing a comfortable rapport among the hosts.
Notable Quote:
Keith shares his experience of taking Noah to a black church, highlighting the differences between black and white church communities. The conversation explores the impact of diverse religious environments on personal beliefs and cultural identity.
Notable Quotes:
The heart of the episode centers on the allegations against Michael Jackson. The hosts discuss the legitimacy of the claims, the role of FBI investigations, and the challenges of separating an artist's personal life from their professional legacy.
Key Points:
Notable Quotes:
The discussion transitions to comparisons with other controversial figures like R. Kelly, addressing how different industries and societal systems handle allegations of misconduct. The hosts also touch on broader societal problems, including financial crises and infrastructure issues.
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Notable Quotes:
The hosts share personal stories about driving accidents, interactions with law enforcement, and the frustrations of car ownership. These anecdotes add a relatable and humorous layer to the episode, showcasing the hosts' camaraderie and ability to find humor in challenging situations.
Key Points:
Notable Quotes:
Noah and Keith delve into personal financial strategies, discussing the importance of saving for retirement through 401k accounts. They share insights on investing, the challenges of financial planning, and the impact of economic downturns on personal finances.
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Notable Quotes:
In the closing segment, the hosts reflect on the nature of fandom and the importance of holding public figures accountable, regardless of their contributions to the entertainment industry. They emphasize the need for objective judgment and the dangers of idolizing without critical assessment.
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Notable Quotes:
Conclusion: This episode of Smosh Mouth navigates the complex and often contentious discussions surrounding Michael Jackson's legacy, intertwining it with personal stories and broader societal critiques. The hosts maintain a balance between humor and serious discourse, inviting listeners to reflect on the challenges of reconciling admiration with accountability.
Final Notable Quote:
For those interested in nuanced discussions that blend personal insights with cultural commentary, this episode offers a compelling listen.