S2: #47 - We’re Going to Australia!

Summary

Smosh Mouth: S2 #47 – We’re Going to Australia! Released on January 22, 2020

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1. Opening Remarks

The episode kicks off with a lively conversation among the hosts: Shane Topp, Damien Hodge, and Ian. They immediately dive into personal anecdotes and set the tone for an engaging discussion.

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2. Navigating the Dating Scene

The trio delves into Ian’s bustling dating life, highlighting the challenges and humorous aspects of juggling multiple dates.

• Ian shares his recent dating spree: “Saturday night went on a date. Sunday brunch date. Sunday night, date.” (03:00)
• Shane Topp humorously points out, “You went on two dates in one,” to which Damien adds, “That's three.” (03:42)
• Damien reflects on male camaraderie: “When I talk to other guys, it's still this very like man type way of talking about things.” (00:45)

This segment underscores the sometimes comedic nature of modern dating, especially in the bustling LA scene.

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3. Personal Goals for 2020

Each host outlines their aspirations for the year, providing a glimpse into their personal lives and ambitions.

Shane Topp: Mastering the Splits

Shane announces his determination to achieve the splits by the end of the year.

• Shane states, “I am determined... I'm gonna do the splits.” (03:51)
• Damien jokes about his flexibility, “You have a bunch of those pocket warmers inside your bones.” (04:29)

Shane discusses his gradual approach: “I'm trying to stretch every day. Here's stretches that'll eventually get you to that point.” (04:12)

Damien Hodge: Fitness and Voice Acting

Damien shares his dual goals of improving physical fitness and expanding his voice acting portfolio.

• Damien expresses his fitness goal: “I want to get back into being physically fit.” (07:33)
• On voice acting, he mentions, “I want to add two games to my cycle of stuff that I just keep back working on.” (08:09)

Ian: Finding Love and Traveling to Iceland

Ian focuses on personal relationships and an exciting travel plan.

• Ian declares his main goal: “Find love.” (15:43)
• He also reveals his upcoming trip: “I am going to Iceland.” (30:59)

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4. Travel Plans and Tour Preparations

The conversation shifts to their imminent trip to Australia and the logistics of touring together.

• Ian introduces the Australia trip: “We're going to Australia in March... Supernova, it's kind of like a comic con of Australia.” (36:32)
• They discuss selling Australia-themed shirts to support the Red Cross: “100% of the proceeds go to the Red Cross in Australia.” (36:47)
• Shane suggests taking on a Spartan Race during the tour for added adventure: “I think we should all do it.” (12:24)

Notable Quote:

• Damien humorously warns about tour bus etiquette: “The number one rule of any tour is you don't poop on the tour bus.” (00:00)

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5. The Reality of Tour Life

A humorous yet candid discussion about the challenges of touring, especially concerning personal necessities like using the bathroom.

• Ian raises concerns about frequent dates: “I'm afraid that one of my dates is going to watch this podcast and be like, the fuck.” (17:36)
• The hosts joke about the logistics of using the bathroom on tour buses, emphasizing the importance of maintaining comfort and etiquette.

Notable Quote:

• Damien asserts, “I want to let you know that, like, I'm not doing this to be malicious, but if I'm on a tour bus and I have to go to the bathroom... I'm gonna straight up do it.” (51:37)

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6. Video Game Movies and Series

A rich discussion ensues about the challenges and successes of adapting video games into movies and series.

• Damien critiques video game movies: “Video game movies have never worked because they’re a lot like books... You spend 40 to 50 hours with a story.” (66:00)
• Shane praises successful adaptations like The Witcher: “The Witcher nailed it so hard on Netflix.” (67:08)
• They debate potential future adaptations, mentioning Mass Effect, Metroid, and Dark Souls as promising candidates.

Notable Quotes:

• Damien: “I think the Witcher nailed it so hard on Netflix.” (67:08)
• Shane: “Mass Effect would be so good.” (69:04)

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7. Environmental Considerations in Travel

The hosts engage in a thoughtful conversation about the environmental impact of travel and individual responsibilities.

• Damien discusses pollution and consumer responsibility: “I believe pollution happens, but in so many areas the onus is placed on the average everyday consumer...” (34:02)
• Shane emphasizes systemic issues: “The factories, the manufacturing aspect of the world is chugging along.” (34:02)

Notable Quote:

• Damien: “We are always going to be a blight on the earth. And no matter what we do, we’re always going to be a blight on the earth.” (36:25)

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8. Light-Hearted Banter and Jokes

Throughout the episode, the hosts maintain a humorous and light-hearted atmosphere, sharing jokes and playful interactions.

• Ian: “I'm a catch my dude.” (18:04)
• Shane and Damien exchange playful insults and jokes about pooping on the bus.

Notable Quote:

• Shane: “What are your, your favorite Australian? What's your guys favorite Australian?” (37:45)
• Damien: “It's a bird, but it’s got a big old bottom and I just want to use it like a pillow.” (38:30)

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9. Closing Remarks

The episode concludes with final thoughts on personal health, upcoming travel, and a reminder to support their Australia trip merchandise.

• Damien shares his experience overcoming a vitamin D deficiency: “I've been like... I really need to take these things to feel good.” (76:03)
• Ian encourages listeners to prioritize their health: “If you're tired all the time, maybe there's a reason. Get checked out.” (78:53)
• They reiterate their support for the Australian Red Cross and promote their merchandise.

Notable Quote:

• Damien: “Get tested for blood. If you don't have blood, you need it, probably.” (78:57)

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Conclusion

"Smosh Mouth: S2 #47 – We’re Going to Australia!" offers a blend of personal insights, humorous banter, and engaging discussions on dating, personal goals, travel, and the intricacies of adapting video games into multimedia formats. The hosts' camaraderie and candid conversations provide an entertaining and relatable listening experience for fans and newcomers alike.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Damien Hodge (00:00): “How to have fun anytime, anywhere. Step one, go to chumbacasino.com...”
• Ian (03:00): “Ramble Saturday night, went on a date. Sunday brunch date. Sunday night, date.”
• Shane Topp (03:51): “I am determined... I'm gonna do the splits.”
• Damien Hodge (36:25): “We are always going to be a blight on the earth...”
• Shane Topp (67:08): “The Witcher nailed it so hard on Netflix.”
• Damien Hodge (78:53): “Get tested for blood. If you don't have blood, you need it, probably.”

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Feel free to listen to the full episode for a more comprehensive understanding of the hosts' dynamic and discussions.

Transcript

[Damien Hodge]

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[Shane Topp]

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[Damien Hodge]

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[Shane Topp]

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[Damien Hodge]

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[Shane Topp]

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[Damien Hodge]

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[Shane Topp]

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[Damien Hodge]

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[Shane Topp]

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[Damien Hodge]

Visit chumbacasino.com no purchase necessary vgw group.

[Shane Topp]

Void where prohibited by law 21 plus terms and conditions apply.

[Ian]

Ramble Saturday night, went on a date. Sunday brunch date. Sunday night, date.

[Shane Topp]

You went on two dates in one.

[Damien Hodge]

That's three.

[Shane Topp]

When I talk to other guys, it's still this very like man type way of talking about things, right?

[Ian]

Where it's like you don't want to sound like you're completely.

[Shane Topp]

Where it's. You're not. You're not really fully venting.

[Damien Hodge]

Very video game movies have never worked because video games are a lot like books in that you're gonna spend 40 to 50 hours with a story and that's what makes you love them so much. If a game were two hours, you'd be like, this game sucks.

[Ian]

Knowing that I go on a tour with Damian and we know Damian likes to poop, the number one rule of any tour is you don't poop on the tour bus.

[Damien Hodge]

First of all, no, no, it's not. You made that up. That's thing number Here is a list of spoilers for danganronp.

[Ian]

Oi, it's a Dangan wumpa.

[Shane Topp]

What other games is the studio just made that or have they Spike Chunsoft?

[Damien Hodge]

They've made a bunch.

[Ian]

Okay.

[Damien Hodge]

I don't know. I have to look probably.

[Ian]

Whoa. Welcome to the Smosh cast. Hello, I am Ian. And today I am joined by the two sweatiest boys in this office.

[Damien Hodge]

I was gonna say hey, but for.

[Shane Topp]

Me it's probably extremely sweaty.

[Ian]

Shane Topp and Damien Hodge.

[Damien Hodge]

I'm the second one.

[Shane Topp]

I actually don't think. I'm not a sweaty person.

[Damien Hodge]

I'm a sweaty man.

[Shane Topp]

I'm not a sweaty person.

[Ian]

I haven't seen you sweat that much.

[Shane Topp]

I notice a lot of times, even when I work out, I don't sweat that much.

[Damien Hodge]

What?

[Shane Topp]

It's so easy.

[Damien Hodge]

I'm a furnace of a man, therefore I'm always cooking within my own bones. Therefore my body sweats oodles. But I have very Good hygiene, so you wouldn't necessarily notice.

[Shane Topp]

You have a bunch of those pocket warmers inside your bones.

[Damien Hodge]

Yes, sir.

[Shane Topp]

Instead of bone marrow, you have those.

[Damien Hodge]

That's the problem. I replaced all my immunity making bone marrow with gosh dang pocket warmers.

[Shane Topp]

Pocket warmers. It's so annoying.

[Damien Hodge]

Don't you hate when you do that all the time?

[Ian]

Well, I'll never ask you for bone marrow.

[Damien Hodge]

Good. I want to give it to you anyway. Not with that attitude.

[Ian]

I hear that's painful.

[Damien Hodge]

Not taking any of my damn bones.

[Shane Topp]

I don't know if I would. I would.

[Damien Hodge]

Like.

[Shane Topp]

I would.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah. Where was that going?

[Shane Topp]

I don't know. I was saying, like, to Ian. I don't know if he has someone like Ian. I don't know if I would. I think I would.

[Ian]

Well, you gotta be tested for it to see if it's a. If you're a good.

[Shane Topp]

If we have equal bone marrow, if we got equal. We have grade A bone marrow.

[Damien Hodge]

You think you're on a bone marrow level with this guy here? You think you can hold a flipping candle to the tallow within his bones?

[Shane Topp]

Never broken a bone. Which means I must have good bone marrow power.

[Damien Hodge]

Bones, my dude.

[Ian]

Your marrow's never leaked?

[Shane Topp]

Nope. Never leaked my bone marrow.

[Damien Hodge]

Have you guys checked Twitter? Shane's bone marrow leaked.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, man. My bone marrow's leaked.

[Ian]

Guys, it's. I swear, like, as we get further away from January one, we will stop talking about looking back into 2019 and looking forward to 2020. But it is like, you know, this is still the beginning of the year, and we're, you know, we gotta be, you know, thinking about resolutions. But, like, resolutions are boring. Cause it's like, oh, I wanna eat less gluten. But, like, what is everyone's. What is everyone's goals for 2020?

[Shane Topp]

Mm. Well, I can tell you. I can tell you one.

[Ian]

Okay.

[Shane Topp]

Definitely one. I am determined, and I tried to do this last year and the year prior, but. But I'm determined. I'm saying it out loud. I'm gonna do the splits.

[Damien Hodge]

Oh.

[Shane Topp]

By the end of this year, I will do the splits.

[Damien Hodge]

Ooh. Yeah. What's your game plan on that? Are you, like, testing flexibility every day?

[Shane Topp]

So I am. I'm trying to stretch every day. I looked up this. I'm looking up. There's like, you know, kind of like 30. Do the splits in 30 days. Which I'm obviously not gonna do in 30 days. But it's like, here's stretches that'll eventually get you to that point. Wow. So I'm starting off, you know, making small steps, you know, just trying to stretch a little bit. Yeah.

[Ian]

And is it hurting so far?

[Shane Topp]

You know? Yeah, I'm very, very unflexible. So it'll be a huge leap.

[Ian]

You gotta get those. You gotta get the, like the male Lululemon pants so you can start like really getting your stretch out.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, that'll help. If I get yoga pants that'll make. That'll gain plus 5 to flexibility.

[Ian]

Yeah, I think so.

[Damien Hodge]

Real talk, I think you might be starting from a place that would be more difficult than most people because you are so physically fit. You've built a lot of like, strong muscle on the fr. You've already got. So now you've got to work past that.

[Shane Topp]

My tendons are extremely tight from.

[Damien Hodge]

Just sever them.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, just sever my tendons.

[Ian]

You know, I just thought it's gotta be so weird as. As a man to do the splits naked.

[Damien Hodge]

Done it.

[Ian]

Because, like, have you now? Yeah, like, like on a cold floor.

[Shane Topp]

You're just saying slamming. Slamming the.

[Ian]

Yeah, Slamming the pouch.

[Shane Topp]

Slamming the goods. Slamming those goods against the ground.

[Ian]

That's gotta be like. Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Dropping the groceries.

[Ian]

What do you do?

[Damien Hodge]

When I was in.

[Ian]

Drop an anchor.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Damien Hodge]

When I was in karate as a youngin, you could get different, like stripes on your belt and like blue is if you had it like a good moment of like self discipline. And like, you know, black was for like the next mark on your test.

[Shane Topp]

And brown was for slamming that nuts against the ground.

[Damien Hodge]

No, actually that was white. White was for if you could do a Chinese split. And so I was able to only at one point in my life do that. I think that I had.

[Ian]

A white stripe is a Chinese split where you're splitting with your legs forward and backwards.

[Damien Hodge]

Side to side to side, forward and back.

[Ian]

Oh, interesting.

[Shane Topp]

Wow.

[Damien Hodge]

So, yeah, but I would practice at home and I'm sure at one point after a shower, I was like, I'm all limber. Let's give it a shot.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Damien Hodge]

And I probably plopped the old bean bag.

[Ian]

Yes. So. So, Shane. So Shane, you're going. You're going for a Chinese split then?

[Shane Topp]

No, I'm going for a split. I'm fine with any version of a split.

[Damien Hodge]

Disclaimer. I don't. I feel like that's just what my karate studio.

[Ian]

Yeah. Seems a little insensitive.

[Damien Hodge]

Well, see, now, saying it may be, but I don't. That's always what it was called. So if that's wrong, I apologize. That's how I think.

[Shane Topp]

But I think that type of. I know the type of split you're, you're saying, I don't know how to describe it, but legs to the side. Yeah, I've heard that. At any rate, that one's definitely harder to do, I think.

[Ian]

I would think so. Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

But I'm going to the. Everything that I've. I've found online is like, hey, do this type. It's the one leg forward, one leg back.

[Ian]

Oh, see?

[Shane Topp]

And then you, then you eventually. Because the other one, the problem is I think with the other one my hips are so tight and opening that up would probably take a lot longer than, you know, maybe someday I'll make that maybe the goal of the following year.

[Ian]

You got them? Yeah. You got that massage gun?

[Shane Topp]

Just slowly. Yeah, just beat my legs. Submission.

[Ian]

I think you should do that.

[Shane Topp]

I'm fine with any kind of split. Look, we'll see, we'll see what I can do.

[Damien Hodge]

But you do it with your arms.

[Shane Topp]

I'll eat a banana split at the end of the year.

[Ian]

Can you do this, Shane?

[Damien Hodge]

Can you do this, Shane? Yes, you can.

[Shane Topp]

Oh shit guys, he just did it. I just did it.

[Ian]

For the listeners. He just t posed.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Ian]

Damien Goals 2020 I got a few goals.

[Damien Hodge]

I want to get back into being physically fit. That used to be a big part of my life until I have like this hive condition that I've talked about here before but like it sucks when you work out and all of a sudden oh hives. But I've started being healthier this year already and I'm down £9 which is like woo. I'm voice acting wise. I want to add like when you record video games it's sort of on like a couple year cycle. Whether they're making like DLC and new content or it's just like that far in advance that they start working on it before it's released. Like you'll work on something for a few years. So I want to add two games to my cycle of stuff that I just keep back working back on. That's what I want. And then otherwise how do you, how.

[Ian]

Do you work towards that? Like how do you. So that's your goal. How do you work towards that? Taking more auditions?

[Damien Hodge]

I mean I take as many auditions as I can already just keep improving myself and playing what is popular and trying to figure out what kind of vibe they're going for based on what modern voice acting sounds like and going.

[Shane Topp]

From there and just voice better, just void.

[Damien Hodge]

Just have a better throat sound voice, gooder voice.

[Shane Topp]

Voice Gooder.

[Damien Hodge]

And then last thing is like when I'm not here and I'm not doing voiceover stuff, I do do a lot of Twitch streaming. So I. This past year has been awesome. I started it during the defy shutdown, but I feel like growth wise it's kind of plateaued a little bit. So I would like. I don't know, this is a big goal, but I want to see like the following double this year. I want to like, not just make it this thing I do after work, but like focus more time into it. Like, how can I plan events? How can I, you know, have specific things to go for? I'm a very casual person when it comes to stuff like that. But it's like, what would it be like if I sat down and really like planned stuff out?

[Ian]

So it's not necessarily more spending more time streaming, but spending it like wiser. Like, like, like making, making a, a bigger thing out of the time that you do spend streaming. Which I think makes sense because to me as an outsider that doesn't really watch stream, like, I, I understand streaming. I get why people watch it. But for me, I don't. I don't really want to just watch somebody just sit there and play a game.

[Damien Hodge]

Right.

[Ian]

But if, but if you were to, you know, eventize it, have it be more interactive, like that's something that I could definitely watch. Watch.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah.

[Ian]

More.

[Damien Hodge]

The interaction thing is already something that is like pretty. Like I spend most of the time just talking to people while I happen to be playing a. It's like, how do I. That's sort of the point. There is a disconnect between the game and the interaction. How do I marry those two things? Or, you know, how can I have the interaction not just be like answering questions but like, what is today's topic? Or just something just like planning it out, finding how I'm different. Yeah, it's. It's something that is specifically mine. So what do I do with it?

[Ian]

Yeah, no, I think that makes sense. And you're in complete control of it. So it's, it's pretty fun to be able to just be like, oh, I can do whatever.

[Shane Topp]

On the physically fit.

[Damien Hodge]

Physically fit tit.

[Shane Topp]

On the physically fit tit. I think I'm gonna, I wanna do a, like a Spartan race or something this year. So whoever wants to join. I don't know, man. Yeah, we do it.

[Damien Hodge]

What if we got one of those like red like Radio Flyer wagons and you pull me behind you while I eat peeled grapes?

[Shane Topp]

I don't know. Man, if you're already. If you're already getting physically fit, I think it's in, like, May.

[Damien Hodge]

Sounds like I've earned a treat.

[Shane Topp]

Looks like. Sounds like we're gonna do a Spartan race.

[Ian]

So you've already. You've already done this research, Shane.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Ian]

There's a Spartan race in May. In May.

[Shane Topp]

And I think we should all do it.

[Damien Hodge]

My knee hurts.

[Shane Topp]

I think we should all do it. Kevin, would you be down to do it?

[Damien Hodge]

So Kevin would look at him.

[Shane Topp]

Kevin could do it. We could definitely film it. Ian, would you want to do it?

[Ian]

Yeah, sure.

[Shane Topp]

You got to talk to Courtney. Courtney wants to do it. I don't know, man. It's. We got time. Like, there's a lot to train.

[Damien Hodge]

We're live on camera in a place where I can't really say no. Yeah, man. Let's all do a.

[Shane Topp]

You've got four months.

[Damien Hodge]

But I. Aerobic stuff is hard.

[Shane Topp]

That would take you. You could definitely do a Spartan race today. I guarantee you you could do it.

[Damien Hodge]

Is anyone else here winded after using the restroom? No. Then you don't know my life.

[Shane Topp]

Look, man, just saying, like, it's far enough away that if we didn't do it, people would forget. I'm just saying it'd be dope. It'd be dope. We would all feel great. You're saying, hey, you want.

[Damien Hodge]

You pitched this to me as a tough mudder originally, which is way different.

[Shane Topp]

Than a tough mudder, I guess. No, they're like. The same thing was easier. Spartan race is actually.

[Ryan]

They're the same pretty much.

[Damien Hodge]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane Topp]

It's the same exact thing.

[Damien Hodge]

Okay.

[Shane Topp]

What did you think a Spartan race was?

[Damien Hodge]

I thought tough mudder was basically like, oh, now you got to slip in some mud while we yell at you. And tough. And Spartan race was literally just like a 24 kilometer race while. While people have, like, a phalanx in front of you trying to block you through a small.

[Ian]

Yes.

[Damien Hodge]

Through tonight.

[Ian]

No, I have to wear a loincloth.

[Shane Topp]

If I'm. If I'm correct, I think the Spartan race is, like. It's like. It's a 10k. So it's like six. It can be like, six miles.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah. They have 5k, 10k increases from there.

[Shane Topp]

But yeah, dude, if we did, like, a six mile with a bunch of obstacles in it, we could definitely do that.

[Ian]

Six miles. That's it.

[Shane Topp]

But there's a lot of obstacles. The obstacles are tough.

[Ian]

Yeah, I'll avoid the obstacles. I'll just. I'll just run it.

[Damien Hodge]

What kind of obstacles. Are we talking?

[Shane Topp]

It's. It's obstacles where you have to help each other. So, like, there's a wall where, like, you can only get up it by other people, like, help pull you up on top of the wall, and then you have to turn back and help people, like, get up the wall.

[Damien Hodge]

Definitely good at boosting, but can y'all pull up a 200 pound.

[Shane Topp]

We have several. Like, several of us.

[Ian]

You won't be £200.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, man. By May. By May, you could be in. We could be in, like, spartan shape.

[Damien Hodge]

I'm 300 pounds of muscle.

[Ian]

Of muscle. Then you just hop over that wall with just.

[Shane Topp]

Just your leg, Damien. Like, look, we could definitely buy May. The Spartan Race could be easy for us.

[Ian]

Yeah, we could be.

[Shane Topp]

We could become.

[Ian]

Are we going to become Avengers? Guys?

[Shane Topp]

Like, guys, let's become Spartans.

[Ian]

Should we be. Should we? Kamal Nanjiani. Ourselves, Dude.

[Damien Hodge]

Kamehameha. Good. What a career.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, what a career.

[Damien Hodge]

What a. What a topic shift. What a career Kumail Nanjiani's had.

[Shane Topp]

Look, I'm doing the Spartan Race in May.

[Damien Hodge]

Look, Shane, we're past that. Kumail Nanjiani, shout out to you, Portlandia, Bob's Burgers, and now fitness.

[Ian]

You're just going to forget Silicon Valley? Okay, so anyway, Spartan Race should be. Spartan Race should be real fun. Yeah, I'm excited for it. Is Spartan Race. Oops.

[Damien Hodge]

Whose gosh dang phone is on.

[Ian]

Who's gushing is Spartan Erase. Is that the one with the. The live taser wires?

[Damien Hodge]

No, that's tough money.

[Shane Topp]

That's tough mud.

[Damien Hodge]

And I was looking forward to that.

[Shane Topp]

It's literally the same. You were down for Tough Motor, which is the exact same thing.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah, but it sounds scarier when it's Spartan because they're not around anymore. What got the Spartans gone?

[Ian]

Well, they made a documentary about it. It's called 300.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah, yeah.

[Shane Topp]

It's great documentary.

[Ian]

We figured out what happened to them. And then. 302. Rise of the Lycans.

[Damien Hodge]

What?

[Shane Topp]

Rise of the Boogaloo.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Damien Hodge]

Oh, you're talking about Underworld. Got it. That was the joke.

[Shane Topp]

What? Anyways, I'm excited for us all to do the Spartan Race.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah, let's all do it. Moving on. Let's all do it.

[Ian]

Wow. What are my goals? Well, thank you, guys.

[Shane Topp]

What are your. You asked the question.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah, you're the boss. Whenever I try to take control and be like, let's go on to this topic, people are like, damien, learn your place, you idiot. And then I do.

[Shane Topp]

Then we hit You.

[Damien Hodge]

And you hit me with rocks over.

[Ian]

And over my arm sometimes.

[Shane Topp]

So, Ian, what are your goals?

[Damien Hodge]

You have to think about it. You really wanted us to ask you.

[Ian]

I was interested.

[Shane Topp]

Sex less.

[Ian]

That's not possible, my dude.

[Damien Hodge]

No, if you go into the negatives, that means you just take it away from other people. Oh, so you just keep knocking on vans that are rocking. Oh, you just, like, keep. You. Who.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Damien Hodge]

To loot, Please.

[Ian]

Have you ever, like, walked in on. Have you ever, like, just, like, happened by, like, a random couple having sex before I walked in?

[Shane Topp]

I can't say I have.

[Damien Hodge]

Oh. I walked in on a roommate once who was just, like, clearly, like, they were somewhere in the process, but they had, like, heard the door open, and so they was like, fine. But it was just like, oh, hey. They're like, hey. I'm like, I'm gonna go. And they're like, no, it's fine. Come in. I'm like, don't. That's cool. They were like, well, we're just taking a nap. I'm like, no, you're not. And that's okay.

[Ian]

You know, it's so funny if, like. Because they were just polite, be like, no, come in. If you're just like, yeah, okay.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah.

[Ian]

And then you just, like, go and, like, sit on the bed. How you guys doing?

[Shane Topp]

People do that.

[Damien Hodge]

You would not believe the day I've had.

[Ian]

Oh, man.

[Damien Hodge]

What are your goals?

[Ian]

My goals? Find love.

[Shane Topp]

For real?

[Ian]

Sure. Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Okay.

[Ian]

I think, you know, I'm not saying. I'm not saying, like, you know, I will find somebody this year, but I'm making. I'm making the. The effort. I'm going on dates.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah, that's great.

[Ian]

I think, you know, who knows if I'll find anyone? But at least in all these dates I've been going on, I'm, like, figuring out, you know, things about people. Figuring out what things I like about people. What things I don't like about people. Because if you don't actually get out there and, like, meet people, you don't really know what you do or don't like about somebody, and you start to spot things like, ooh, I don't like that. Ooh. Not a fan of that.

[Damien Hodge]

Do you mean just, like, personality traits or, like, the way someone reacts to something?

[Shane Topp]

Like how they smell?

[Damien Hodge]

Like. Yeah, like how they smell.

[Ian]

Well, what if I was, like, a.

[Damien Hodge]

Real stinky, stinky girlfriend?

[Ian]

Yeah. Yeah. If somebody doesn't smell good, I'm probably not going to be down for that.

[Damien Hodge]

Shallow.

[Ian]

Well, some people.

[Shane Topp]

It's nice, though. Well, some bad smells in her acquired smell. Oh, probably like, oh, she smells bad. No, she doesn't.

[Damien Hodge]

Oh. So when cheese does. I was better quality cheese.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, see, Exactly. Some people are like cheese.

[Ian]

See, girls are like a fine cheese. You see?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Ryan]

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[Shane Topp]

Sponsored by Chumba Casino. No purchase necessary. VGW Group void. We're prohibited by law 21 plus terms and conditions apply. I feel like, Ian, you go on a. I feel like every day you're going on another.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah, you go on a lot of week.

[Ian]

I'm afraid that one of my dates is going to watch this podcast and be like, the fuck.

[Shane Topp]

Like, I swear, I swear there's been a week where you've gone on five dates.

[Ian]

And just to be clear, I'm not. No, you're not having sex.

[Shane Topp]

You're not going. It's always like a very. Like you're, you're just going to like meeting up and talking to some. But I feel like you do it so much. I don't know how you even managed to find that many dates.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah, honestly, if you live in the LA area, it is very possible you've been on a date with Ian.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, it's.

[Ian]

It's very possible. I'm just, you know, I'm just a catch my dude. No, no, I mean, because it's, it's weird, man. Like when, when you use, when you use the apps, like it's, it's really strange. Like there won't be like sort of like any response and then all of a sudden it'll be like five people have been like, hey. And you're like, oh, but I'm talking this person too. Oh, crap. I mean, Saturday, Saturday night went on a date. Sunday brunch date, Sunday night date.

[Shane Topp]

You went on what, two dates in one.

[Damien Hodge]

That's three.

[Shane Topp]

But no, you went on two dates in one day. Yes, that's.

[Damien Hodge]

That's a lot.

[Shane Topp]

What happens if the brunch date goes so well that you continue to hang out with that and I'll cancel day one.

[Damien Hodge]

Whoa.

[Shane Topp]

Damn, man. Like, I don't. I can't.

[Damien Hodge]

It's not a bad thing. I'm just like. I mean, good for you.

[Ian]

I couldn't do it.

[Shane Topp]

You're. You're an extrovert. Well, cuz, like, making more than one plan in a day is like. I'm like, nuh.

[Ian]

Well, I think.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Ian]

I mean, I've. I've found that, like. And this might have been something I uncovered in therapy. Huh.

[Damien Hodge]

Awesome.

[Ian]

That I like having things to, like, look forward to. So if I don't, if I. You know, sometimes I feel like I used to, like, really relish in not having anything to do for like a whole day, and now I'm becoming, like, less and less comfortable with that. Like, I like to have something to look forward to. And also, like, meeting like a new person is kind of like an exciting thing for me. It's not really that scary. It's like, oh, I get to find out about this sort of human being. And in la, you meet so many different types of people from different backgrounds, different cultures. So that's been. That's been very exciting, I guess, also.

[Shane Topp]

For you, like, sorry to cut you off, but you were also in a relationship. Different relationships. But you were a person who was in a relationship for most of your life before this phase you're in now.

[Ian]

True.

[Shane Topp]

I feel like you were essentially for like a decade or more, you were. You were in a committed relationship. So.

[Ian]

Yeah, I was in a. I was in a relationship for six and a half years.

[Shane Topp]

And then you were only single for like less than a year after that, right?

[Ian]

Yeah, yeah, I was single and I was kind of dating around. That was a little bit of my. As we refer to as the Hoenn phase. The what?

[Damien Hodge]

Where I was the Hoenn region of Pokemon. I think that's Gen 3.

[Ian]

Yes.

[Shane Topp]

Hoenn phase.

[Ian]

Okay. A little bit of the Hoenn phase. I feel like. And this is terrible advice to give to people. This is terrible. I'm just gonna say. I'm just gonna put it out there right now. This is terrible advice. If you're an adult and you've reached maybe the age of 30 and you haven't had a Hoenn phase, and this is terrible advice. And maybe this is just. You don't have to follow this. But if you haven't had a Hoenn phase. That's weird.

[Damien Hodge]

Both of y'all. Turn off your phone.

[Shane Topp]

Computers blowing up.

[Damien Hodge]

It's like that Kevin, look at Kevin. He's Crying, having an.

[Shane Topp]

Sorry, sorry. And I'm not saying text from all over the place.

[Ian]

So one of our, one of our friends that, that we know, they dated somebody for a long, long, long, long, long time. It was not a great relationship. And they didn't really know what a healthy relationship was. And they didn't know like what they're into. And so they, as they put it, threw their dick to the city.

[Damien Hodge]

Oh yeah. Chop off your wiener and throw it in a river.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Ian]

I feel like we're gonna cut all this stuff out. Cause this is terrible advice, but I think, you know, when you are meeting a lot of different people, like it's, it's, it's more than just like, oh, you like Pokemon, I like Pokemon. Like there's also has to be other chemistry that, that you gotta align on.

[Damien Hodge]

So you're saying you had that phase in between your two long relationships. So you got that out of the way, Correct?

[Ian]

Yeah. Yeah, I feel like. And, and I, and you know, you kind of figure out, I hope, more about yourself and what you're into. For me, like I can't, I can't be intimate with somebody that I'm not emotionally connected to.

[Damien Hodge]

I feel that. Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Oh yeah. I'm the same way.

[Ian]

So yeah, I did, I did like two like one night stands. I was like, this is terrible.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah.

[Ian]

And so it was like I figured that out very quickly and how unfulfilling that was. But I wouldn't have known that if I didn't go into my Hoenn phase.

[Damien Hodge]

That's true.

[Ian]

And now I got the Hoenn phase out of the way. So now I'm not, I'm not like desperate for like, you know, I'm not, I'm not like trying, I'm not like scouring the dating apps to for hookups.

[Shane Topp]

I think what's tough is everyone's, everyone's love life is so unique to them.

[Damien Hodge]

Sure, that's exactly what I was gonna say. Whatever you say, it's terrible advice and maybe it is for everyone. But to translate sort of whatever the Hoenn phase means to you, for you, it was like that specific way, like maybe let's try a couple of one night stands. But if whatever you're into is like, you know, I just want to meet a bunch of different people and go on a bunch of dates that could be someone's version of a hoeing phase. Sex or no sex, whatever. But like there should be a time in your life when you feel free to explore. Yeah, maybe that's What?

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

And a face to challenge yourself. Right. If you're someone who's. If you're someone who's terrified of meeting new people, then it's like, okay, here you are. You're single, You're. You're free. Like, go do that, do that. Take those risks. Scare yourself. Or if you're someone who dates a lot, because that's comfortable for you, try then going a month or two without doing that, giving. Because a lot of people don't date themselves. They don't learn anything. So they know a lot about other people. They don't know anything about themselves. It's like, okay, go do that now. Like, you know, there's people. I know that every day they have to be hanging out with other people or. And I know people who spend most of their time alone. And I think it's very important to challenge yourself and to take those moments to go, okay, I need to push my boundaries a little bit.

[Ian]

Yeah. And I think, I think also kind of on that, on that note, people that are, you know, going through something, they're. They're unhappy with themselves, that's the worst possible time to be trying to find somebody else. Because that's not. You're not in the right mental state. You can't.

[Damien Hodge]

You're covering up a symptom without actually dealing with the issue.

[Ian]

Yeah. And then you bring that unhappiness into a relationship, and then you try to use that person to make you happy, and it's like, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Shane Topp]

There's also. Yeah. Depending on the type of breakup you just went through, like, you might be in a phase where, like, you're still. That trust isn't there for other people or you're just not comfortable. Like, you know, it's okay.

[Damien Hodge]

It was interesting because after my last, like, long relationship, when I. When we had that breakup, that's when I had my, like, own version of just, like, I want to get out there and date. Like, you know what? This, this girl from, you know, back in the day, I thought she was cute. I'm just gonna ask her out willy nilly, out of the blue. And I did that, like, a few times. And then once I sort of cycled through that. That's when I was like, now it's time to deal with the loneliness. So I, like, I had that moment of, like, let's slap a little band aid on this. Break up, nush, Break up, doesn't matter. And then, then it was like, yeah, it's like, too.

[Shane Topp]

I think for. It's I think it's very much for dudes. Maybe I'm wrong, but. But I feel like for dudes like.

[Ian]

Us, those just say men. There's dudes is just. All right, sorry.

[Damien Hodge]

You can just say for bros, like we.

[Shane Topp]

For bros, like we.

[Ian]

Okay.

[Shane Topp]

Bros, like we, like, for those. Those first two or three months, you're kind of like, you know what?

[Damien Hodge]

Cool.

[Shane Topp]

Like, I'm living my life. I don't give a crap. And then it's like. It's like that two or three month mark, three months where it's like, oh, like, it hits and it's not the crying one. It's not the. Like, you're super bummed. It's just kind of like this. Yeah.

[Damien Hodge]

It's like. It's almost like a numbness where it just sort of sets in and you're like, oh, yeah, this is reality now. Yeah.

[Ian]

And obviously, maybe this is just the. The. The hetero CIS white male experience. But. But that does seem to be a very common thing where. Where in. In a relationship. And obviously this doesn't apply for everyone, but. But it does seem kind of common where, you know, girl and guy break up, girl cries, like, goes through it all immediately and then gets better. Guys like, oh, everything's chill. I'm cool. Like, whatever.

[Damien Hodge]

Just because we broke up doesn't mean I didn't learn anything. What a cool relationship. And then.

[Ian]

And then. And then, yeah, two, three months later, it's like, oh, God, I'm all alone and nothing.

[Shane Topp]

Ah, yeah. I think it's also. That's the. That's the timeline where you don't really get to, like. I mean, honestly, you don't get to be a victim anymore. Yeah. Like, you're not like, I'm going to a breakup. It's really sad. It's kind of like, all right, I've got to be over it. Everyone's. I can't really, like, dwell on it anymore. I got to move on, and I'm alone, and my life is very different than what it was three months ago.

[Ian]

Yeah. Yeah. I was definitely not in any rush to get into anything after. After the last relationship, and I didn't even try until maybe, like, eight months.

[Damien Hodge]

Maybe. It's sort of like, you know, grief. There's the five stages, and I think that's for loss of any kind, whether it's death or loss of relationship, loss of comfort, home, whatever. But, you know, usually it starts with denial. So maybe that is, you know, you're not being like, no, it's not over, but it's a different form of denial where you're like, yeah, actually, everything is chill. I really am doing great. And then it's the bargaining phase when you are asking out other women and they're like, yeah, let's just. I'm time to figure something else out. That's fine. And then it's. What is it? Anger, weird depression, acceptance. I don't know if I ever had the anger, whatever, you know?

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Damien Hodge]

You get what I'm saying?

[Ian]

Yeah, no, for sure. And I think it's also guys or bros, like, we, we're not, we're not like allowed to talk everything out with, with other bros. Like, we.

[Shane Topp]

It's true.

[Ian]

It's not, it's not as normally accepted.

[Shane Topp]

Right.

[Ian]

Or, you know, we feel a little more reserved in talking about our feelings to each other.

[Damien Hodge]

I feel like that's either, okay, either I just live in a bubble where a lot of people are just more open emotionally and that is possible, or I feel like that' changing. I feel like it's the kind of thing where like, you know, Jeff, it was pointed out to me recently, like Jeffree star made a video where he's like, no one's talking about mental health. And it's like everybody's talking about mental health now. It's the same thing where it's like, it's not accepted amongst bros. I'm like, kind of. Maybe it is now, like, or maybe that's just my friends, but I feel like if I talk about feelings, everyone's kind of fine with it.

[Shane Topp]

I think LA is different. I think maybe that's one of those things because when I go back to Arizona or Colorado, the vibe is very different.

[Damien Hodge]

Is it?

[Shane Topp]

It's very different. LA is a bubble. I mean, it is. And you know, there's just, there's different types of bubbles all over the US but I think for the most part still.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

And even, even guys who are comfortable, it's still, it's still different. You know, I think back on, like when I talk to other guys, it's still this very like, man type way of talking about things. Right.

[Ian]

Where it's like you don't want to sound like you're completely.

[Shane Topp]

You're not really fully venting. You're. What's what you're fully feeling. You're trying to funnel them into a, into a. Like. Yeah, man, I've been feeling really down and, and you're still, you're trying to be professional about your feelings.

[Damien Hodge]

Oh, crap. That is me too.

[Shane Topp]

Huh? Yeah. So you're not. Whereas you're not really letting out the truth. You're not really letting out, like, I fucking hate the world. And I. This all sucks. Which is what's going on inside you. Go. You funnel that into. Yeah, you know, I just. I'm. I'm working through it and. Oh, you're literally quoting me now. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. You know, it's. It's really like, you know. Yeah. You know, we're both people and we're trying to, like, you know.

[Damien Hodge]

Okay. Okay.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, you got me. So it's still. It's still. It's still there.

[Ian]

This is the Make Damien Uncomfortable podcast.

[Damien Hodge]

You are.

[Shane Topp]

You are talking. You are talking about facts, but you're not being emotionally fully.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah. And my version of being emotional about it is just being like. Yeah. I mean, I won't lie. It sucks, but, you know, and then.

[Shane Topp]

I cap it off with something else still.

[Damien Hodge]

Wow.

[Shane Topp]

But that's like we.

[Ian]

Yeah, Bros like we, man.

[Shane Topp]

Bros Like We.

[Damien Hodge]

That's the new name of the podcast, Bros Like We. Yeah, but we're just playing we while we talk about this stuff.

[Ian]

Okay.

[Damien Hodge]

We're like, bro, we like we.

[Shane Topp]

So, Ian, Find love is one of your goals.

[Ian]

Yeah, Find love Tangent. And I was thinking. And I was thinking about. I was like, okay, yeah, because you have a goal, and you're always kind of like, actively working towards that goal. And that is something that I. That I have been doing also. Went on a date this morning. Monday.

[Shane Topp]

This morning. I'm on a date right now.

[Ian]

Went on a date Monday. So I did. Yeah, I did Saturday to Sunday, one Monday. And I'm going a second date to tonight.

[Shane Topp]

So. Okay, I said you go on, like, five dates a week, and that was not always. But do you have any more dates planned for this week besides that? Well, do you have six dates planned in within seven days?

[Ian]

No, because I'm going to Iceland.

[Damien Hodge]

Ian, tell us about travel.

[Ian]

So that's cool. Yeah, yeah. So. So, yeah, that's another goal of mine. Good segue.

[Damien Hodge]

Make it to Iceland Travel.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Very kind of you to plan it for a sketch week.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

So that we get to just have to do more work.

[Damien Hodge]

So when this podcast comes out.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Damien Hodge]

You're technically in Iceland currently.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, that's cool.

[Ian]

Well, don't come looking for me Icelanders.

[Shane Topp]

You won't find me Icelanders. If you're looking for love, there's someone there looking for love.

[Damien Hodge]

Oh, then find an Icelandic waifu date, Bjork.

[Ian]

Let's see. Benefits of living in Iceland. Free power or cheap power.

[Damien Hodge]

It gets dark real early sometimes and.

[Ian]

Sometimes it stays light for a long time.

[Damien Hodge]

That's true. Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

It's very safe.

[Ian]

Yeah. There's no apex predators.

[Shane Topp]

No apex predators.

[Damien Hodge]

You get to see the aurora borealis sometimes.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, sometimes if you're a good boy.

[Damien Hodge]

There's fjords and that's an extra J and a word that you generally don't need. And that's cool.

[Ian]

That's true. But they have that elsewhere too.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah, they have that Elsa where. Because Nordic names. Let's please, please.

[Ian]

So Iceland. I'm, I'm excited. I feel like I'm the last person on Instagram to go to Iceland.

[Damien Hodge]

I've never been.

[Shane Topp]

I've never been to Iceland.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah, it's never been.

[Ian]

Okay, all right, all right. It's, it's interest thing though, because like, I feel, I feel like that like 2019 was the first year where now there's been, and there's been this environmental guilt that's been placed on people that travel. Like, because, you know, air travel is extremely polluting now. You, you have like, you have like, like the royal family that used to always, like, they would go on like these, all these like, visits and everyone's now like, oh, you're getting your. And polluting going all over. Like, I feel like there's a lot of people. I almost went trump there.

[Damien Hodge]

You did. I don't buy into that, to be honest with you. Like, I believe pollution happens, but I feel like in so many areas the onus is placed on the average everyday consumer and it's done by the people who are major, major manufacturers or in pollute all over the place. Like they're, they're these huge companies and these bigger sort of just entities that pollute in a very terrible way, but they sort of get away with it by looking at the consumer and be like, hey, have you considered using a different kind of straw? Hey, have you considered taking the bus? It's not that you can't do those specific things like carpool, like take the bus or bike to work and use different straws and all that stuff. But when it comes to something like air travel, what else are you gonna do? You know, it's private planes. Yes. Don't do that. But if you've got like hundreds of people on a flight carpooling basically to a cross the seas location, that's the best possible scenari.

[Shane Topp]

It's kind of how they talk about how we people get shamed for like, it's like use the shower less. It's like if every Single individual in California use their shower.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

For the, the amount they're saying it would not really unfortunately impact that much because agriculture wise, like that where it's like 90%. It's like they say like there's like five companies that are pollute, like causing 80% of the pollution.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah, see, I didn't even know that.

[Shane Topp]

It's like, it's like, yeah, we can stop it all. But this, the factories, the manufacturing aspect of the world is chugging along.

[Ian]

And obviously the, the argument for that is like, because they're talking about like American companies, like getting them regulated. And everyone's like, but what about China?

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah.

[Ian]

Oh, sorry, I had burp. They're like, what about China? And this place? In this place, it's like, yeah, we need regulation. Like we need strong regulation on everyone because. Because there are other countries that are polluting more and that are dumping a lot more waste in the ocean that's contributing to the problem in the oceans.

[Shane Topp]

And obviously it's not an excuse, it's not a reason to go, well, I don't need to stop, I don't need to stop doing.

[Damien Hodge]

Do everything you can. But it's like, it doesn't mean you can't fly to another country. You don't have another option. You can't take a boat trip in a canoe across the ocean because it saved, I mean, Greta Thunberg. Thunberg, yes. Like, great, awesome. But like, not everybody can do that.

[Shane Topp]

It's also.

[Ian]

She took a boat trip across the ocean.

[Shane Topp]

She only. She only. She does everything she can to not pollute in.

[Ian]

Okay, but boats, boats, like, like if.

[Shane Topp]

You have a job, you can't. You takes too long.

[Ian]

Like ships, I mean large ships pollute heavily.

[Shane Topp]

But I think she takes like literally, like wooden.

[Damien Hodge]

It was literally like a paddle, paddle boat situation with like a little rotor thing. I don't know until there's like a safe way to do that. Like, she's awesome. This is not, this has nothing to do with her. I'm just saying, like day to day there are little things you can do and then there's some things that are a little bit non negotiable.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. It's also when people, when we, we can call out people for so much stuff. But it's actually the problem is the foundation of being a human being right now is placed upon bad stuff. Right. Like, okay, if you want to stop being contributing to bad things, you need to stop using a smartphone. Because the way they're manufactured, the labor and everything, most of your clothes Probably.

[Damien Hodge]

And if you want to have something sustainable like food or clothes or whatever, it's so expensive because someone had to whittle it by hand.

[Shane Topp]

And going vegan, sure that's one thing, but also probably most of the, the other food that you're eating is also like contributing to bad, to pollution.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah.

[Ian]

I mean going vegan isn't gonna save the environment tomorrow.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. But there's also, there's just so many things that are using like you know, there's petroleum. Petroleum's used in a million things besides cars.

[Damien Hodge]

Like it's, it's. You can't really exist in the, in the modern day without it. And if you do, our existence is.

[Shane Topp]

Unnatural at this point too.

[Damien Hodge]

We are, we are a blight on the earth. And no matter what we do, we're always, I'm seriously. We are always going to be a blight on the earth.

[Ian]

Speaking of life.

[Damien Hodge]

So we can mitigate that as best best he can.

[Ian]

Speaking of blight on the earth and the environment, I almost freaking forgot, guys. We have been wearing these shirts that say it's smash Australia. We, we are going to Australia in March and we are going to an event called Supernova. It's, it's kind of like a comic con of Australia. I think. We're doing two, two different dates. We're gonna do kind of like a little Try not to live, Try not to, Try not to try not to.

[Damien Hodge]

Live.

[Ian]

Show two places in Australia. But we are also selling these small Australia shirts. 100% of the proceeds go to the Red Cross in Australia, helping towards those terrible, terrible fires. We love. We love Australia. We love all our Australia peeps. And we like. And we love Australian animals.

[Damien Hodge]

We do.

[Ian]

And I want to see them alive and happy. So let's, let's all, let's all help Australia. Love y'all. Love y'all, Love your accents. Love your deadly animals. What are your guys favorite? What's your guys favorite Australian?

[Damien Hodge]

We obviously all have the same one. Let's say it on three.

[Shane Topp]

One, two, three.

[Damien Hodge]

I knew someone was gonna say quokka.

[Ian]

Okay, what did you say?

[Shane Topp]

Akipa.

[Ian]

A keeper. What's that?

[Shane Topp]

You never heard of a keeper?

[Damien Hodge]

A kipper? The fish?

[Shane Topp]

No, a keeper. Oh, you gotta be careful if you see a keeper. Yeah, they're right angry all the time and if you look them dead in the eyes for over three seconds, you get diarrhea.

[Damien Hodge]

You're thinking of a gorgon.

[Shane Topp]

No, it's a keeper Keeper. A keeper. It's got fins, but it's on the Land.

[Ian]

Whoa.

[Shane Topp]

Mm. And it's very conceivative.

[Damien Hodge]

What is happening?

[Shane Topp]

Oh yeah. Everyone who lives in Australia definitely in the video version of this comment down below about how you know your experiences with a kippah.

[Damien Hodge]

Is it like. Is it like a drop bear?

[Shane Topp]

No, it's real.

[Damien Hodge]

It's a drop bear situation.

[Shane Topp]

Real.

[Damien Hodge]

No, drop bears are very real.

[Shane Topp]

What's your favorite kipa? Facts down below?

[Damien Hodge]

Shane, are you aware of drop bears?

[Shane Topp]

Yes, I'm aware of drop bears.

[Ian]

Yeah, you gotta watch out for drop bears.

[Shane Topp]

But. But a kipa way worse.

[Ian]

Okay?

[Shane Topp]

Way worse. Oh my God. You don't even want to deal with it.

[Ryan]

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[Shane Topp]

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[Ian]

And you said cassowary.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah, because it's a. It's a bird, but it's got a big old bottom and I just want to use it like a pillow. And it also looks like prehistoric, which I think is pretty rad. It would be a cassowary or an echidna or a platypus or. Or like a kookaburra. Yeah, they're in the billabong. Yeah. Or like a. Like a kookaburra or like a wallaby.

[Ian]

Okay.

[Damien Hodge]

Or like that red backed spider they got.

[Ian]

Or they got so many. Like they got cool animals.

[Shane Topp]

Crazy stuff.

[Ian]

Like shit just went crazy in Australia.

[Shane Topp]

Love it.

[Ian]

While like other animals were like, you know, being like basic as fuck on the other continents.

[Shane Topp]

I mean, Africa is doing pretty good.

[Damien Hodge]

Pretty dope.

[Ian]

Yeah. They had like a horse that got a really long neck. Big whoop.

[Damien Hodge]

I like muntjac deer with the big old teeth. Sorry.

[Ian]

Okay. Yeah.

[Damien Hodge]

But yeah, yours is a quokka.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Damien Hodge]

I bet I know why.

[Ian]

Cuz they're the cutest fucking little rodents ever.

[Damien Hodge]

Because they give big old smiles.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Damien Hodge]

Camera.

[Ian]

They're not. They're like. They live on this island that has no predators, so they're not afraid of humans and they're They're a rodent, right?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, they're the largest rodent, right?

[Ian]

No, no, that's capybara. Capybara. Everybody knows a keepy barra, but quokkas, so they're not afraid of humans. And you can just walk right up to them and they have a smile. They look like they're smiling and they're kind of chubby and they're furry and you can just walk up and take a selfie with them. They're just like.

[Shane Topp]

Do you know why they call them capybaras?

[Damien Hodge]

Why, Shane?

[Shane Topp]

Because if you hand it a book, it goes, oh, can I keep or borrow it?

[Damien Hodge]

Oh, son. Are you okay?

[Shane Topp]

I'm a keeper.

[Damien Hodge]

I want to. Yes, and you so bad, but I'm just not sure where the context is and I don't know how to do this.

[Shane Topp]

There's none. There's none.

[Damien Hodge]

Buy the Smash Australia shirt in stores now.

[Ian]

All the info is down below for the SMA Australia shirt and the. And the supernova tour. Very excited to go back to Australia. I like that place.

[Damien Hodge]

I've never been.

[Shane Topp]

Never been. I've never been anywhere.

[Damien Hodge]

You know, speaking of which. Oh, if we're going to be putting each other on the spot on this year's Smosh Cast, Shane, we have been talking about planning a Germany trip for half a year now. And every time I say, let's meet up this weekend, you're like, yeah, definitely. We'll definitely do that. Then I hear nothing.

[Shane Topp]

Okay, that's. That's on both of us. Because then we both don't text each other.

[Damien Hodge]

I'd say it's 60, 40.

[Ian]

Where are you guys going to go? You're going to go to Dusseldorf?

[Shane Topp]

I mean, probably, I don't know, Stuttgart. I don't know.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah, with our Eastern European accents, I guess.

[Shane Topp]

See, whenever I bring it up, this.

[Ian]

Is eastern Germany, you know? I don't know. Stevenson.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. Should we go? I'm also wondering if we just go ham and we do Oktoberfest.

[Damien Hodge]

I.

[Shane Topp]

Cause I've heard it's worth it. I've heard it's worth it.

[Damien Hodge]

It sounds awesome. But I thought we were gonna travel, like, mid year, like closer to summertime, because that's a time where we don't have much for smosh. In October is usually smack in the middle of sketch time that we're batching before holiday.

[Ian]

I mean, that's more November.

[Shane Topp]

Ian's literally going to Iceland during a sketch.

[Damien Hodge]

He's the boss. He can do.

[Ian]

He could spit on me.

[Damien Hodge]

We'd have to Say, good job, sir.

[Shane Topp]

But if we plan it, don't. Then they. Then they plan far enough advance. And we have the president saying, hey, you could do it.

[Damien Hodge]

So he's saying, then what am I supposed to do in May? Go to Japan again by myself? Okay.

[Ian]

Can I come?

[Shane Topp]

No.

[Damien Hodge]

See, that's the problem. Now we've got tag alongs. No, I'm just kidding. Yeah, man.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, dude.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah.

[Ian]

Well, what if Shane and I go? You go as well, but you go on your solo thing.

[Damien Hodge]

Good luck translating.

[Ian]

Oh, he's got me there.

[Shane Topp]

I don't know.

[Ian]

Well, you just. You just talk in a German accent.

[Damien Hodge]

If you drink Peter Zane, if you.

[Shane Topp]

Drink enough beer, you can understand.

[Ian]

Yeah. Yeah. See, I did it. Yeah, I'm speaking German now.

[Damien Hodge]

You sure are.

[Ian]

Deutschland.

[Damien Hodge]

You did it.

[Shane Topp]

If you just do the accent. They love that.

[Ian]

Porsche.

[Shane Topp]

They love that. That's. I think it's so funny.

[Damien Hodge]

So good.

[Shane Topp]

Any country you go to, if you just try to do their accent, if you try to do an accent, they love it.

[Ian]

I get. It's so. It's so bad. Like the. The two times that I've been in England, I start making. I start just like imitating the accent. Like, not in front of people, but, like, offhandedly to, like, friends. Like, while I'm there. I'm like, fuck, I probably shouldn't do that.

[Damien Hodge]

You're that jerk that gets back after like four days and is like, I'm sorry, where's the loo? Oh, I'm so sorry.

[Ian]

I've just been spending time in England. In England.

[Shane Topp]

Heard of it?

[Damien Hodge]

Yes.

[Shane Topp]

Sorry, I'm just one of those people that, you know, I just like, pick up on the accent, like, you know, very.

[Ian]

I'm looking for the. I'm looking for the water closet. Oh, I'm sorry. Where's the lo. A day in Toronto?

[Shane Topp]

I was in England.

[Damien Hodge]

I meant bathroom. Go Go Machine.

[Shane Topp]

Hi. Where's the shitter? Sorry, I was just in Arizona.

[Damien Hodge]

Sorry. Where's the shit gobbler? I am afraid I was in America, as they call it, the Go Go Suck. The Do Go Go Poo Boo Suck Machine.

[Ian]

Oh, no, that's. That's the International Space Station.

[Damien Hodge]

Oh, that's right.

[Ian]

Because that literally sucks your poo.

[Damien Hodge]

Poop.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Damien Hodge]

What if it was like Flintstone style and there was just like an animal that had to like, like next to the station? It's just like, it's a living, you know, and you think you have a.

[Shane Topp]

Shitty job.

[Ian]

Deal with diarrhea in space.

[Damien Hodge]

Speaking of diary, I feel like it'd be easier.

[Ian]

Yeah. I go, oh, speaking of diarrhea. Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, well, that video isn't.

[Ian]

It won't be out yet, but we can still talk about it. So we did another spicy video on Smosh Games. It's for Valentine's Day, so it's very romantic where some of the chocolates are very romantic. Heart chocolates regular, and some are chocolates with Carolina reaper pepper.

[Damien Hodge]

But here's the crazy thing about it. We've done spicy things before, and often we use ghost pepper. That is a fine standard where everybody knows that's not to be messed with and weak. All appreciate. That's a lot of spice. And so we were told it was spicy chocolates. So when. When I ended up having one, I was like, oh, this is immediately hitting different. And I was like, this is great because I cook with a little bit of ghost pepper sometimes. It's got great flavor. I'm used to spice. So afterwards we were like, what is it? Like, how much did you use? And they were like, oh, some had ghost pepper, some had Carolina Reaper, and some had both. And I'm like, if we're going for Carolina Reaper, why wouldn't we say that in the video? That's clickable.

[Ian]

I know. We didn't. We. We didn't know going in, but we.

[Damien Hodge]

Knew when it was coming out because, yeah, my booty screamed lava for days.

[Ian]

So that's. It's been about a week now since we've done it, and I don't think either of us are still shitting. Right.

[Damien Hodge]

I'm still a little rough. It was the kind of thing where, like, the first night when I kept trying to go back to sleep, I would, like, get back into bed and be, like, shivering, even though it's not that cold. And even if I was laying on my stomach or my side, it would be like, oh, ta, ta, ta. It was bad.

[Shane Topp]

That sucks. Yeah. I spit it out.

[Ian]

Well.

[Shane Topp]

And.

[Ian]

And I made it. And I made it worse. And I made it worse because then I got like, a day or two later, I went out and got spicy margs with. With Courtney. So I had two margaritas that had habanero peppers in them.

[Shane Topp]

I'm just trying to just end it.

[Ian]

Yeah. And I think my body was like, whoa, come on, my dude. I'm not even done with the last thing. So. So it's been. It's been an interesting journey. I'm trying to. I'm trying to get my shits right before I go to Iceland.

[Damien Hodge]

Eat those probiotics, because I don't got.

[Shane Topp]

You going to a cold place so.

[Damien Hodge]

You can use some snow on your butt.

[Shane Topp]

Okay, well, shove a bunch of snow.

[Ian]

My concern is there's just not a lot of bathrooms from. From place to place. Just. Well, there's just not a lot in between towns.

[Damien Hodge]

You know, just pick a fjord and.

[Ian]

Go, oh, you're right.

[Damien Hodge]

Is that a Norway thing? Am I about to say?

[Ian]

I just. I'll just let one loose in the blue lagoon. Making a brown lagoon.

[Shane Topp]

Hey, speaking of poops, you know, we got our tour coming up, and we're gonna be on a bus together. There's already been established rule that there's no pooping on the bus. Yes, but immediately there has been contention.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah, well, there's a little contention.

[Ian]

Look, look, we knew. I knew. This is one of the first things that I thought about on, like, going. Knowing that I go on a tour with Damien, and we know Damian likes to poop, and the number one rule of any tour is you don't poop on the tour bus.

[Damien Hodge]

First of all. No, no, it's not. You made that up.

[Ian]

Thing number two, Talk to any musician.

[Damien Hodge]

I would never.

[Shane Topp]

Ian's best friends at the food.

[Damien Hodge]

Let's all. Let's all just. Dave Grohl's rad. Let's all just acknowledge that the best restroom experience you ever have usually is when it. It's your own and you're in your comfort of your own home, and you don't have to worry. So that's always a nice experience. But the next best thing if you're traveling is like your own hotel room or something like that. So for the two, for us, that's what the tour bus more or less is. It's your own hotel room. Here we go. So we're gonna be doing a bit. I can probably just say what we're doing.

[Ian]

We're.

[Damien Hodge]

You know how Ian and I, like, rate foods. Like how we did the In n out and the 31 Baskin Robins. We're gonna do that with, like, local specialties. Find out, like, what the city is known for, whatever. So. So basically, the Dante's Inferno style punishment they've concocted for me is you're gonna have five new kinds of food that you've never had before. We're gonna stuff you chock full of it, and then you don't get to go poop on a tour bus where there's a perfectly good toilet and you could immediately flush and no one would be the wiser.

[Ian]

Have you ever done a bus before? It's not perfectly.

[Damien Hodge]

I've done it.

[Ian]

It's not great.

[Damien Hodge]

I have pooped at a bus. Good sir. And so, and so like squash your.

[Shane Topp]

Butt against a Greyhound and just.

[Ian]

I've done it as it was moving since leaving streak.

[Damien Hodge]

Hey, it takes skill and I have done it. But people are like, we could pull over at a McDonald's at any time. I'm like, oh yeah, let's go into a rural fast food location where it's.

[Shane Topp]

Only like truck stops and it's only McDonald's poop.

[Ian]

So I guarantee that's gonna be better.

[Damien Hodge]

It's not. It's really not. I will light a match. I will immediately flush poo pourri. Try it out. Sponsor us. Poo pourri.

[Shane Topp]

We should just have candles in the bathroom also.

[Ian]

My dude, light a fire.

[Shane Topp]

Okay, okay, fine. The. The. The scent sticks, the incense.

[Ian]

I.

[Shane Topp]

Look, I'll. I'll be honest. I have. I, I am not. I don't care that much, my guy. I do not care. But I also don't have a great sense of smell. So I don't think it would bother me if anyone dropped a hot one.

[Ian]

The, the, the real.

[Shane Topp]

The bathroom.

[Ian]

Cuz like the first, the first tour is in Washington and then we go down to Portland, right? Or sorry, Seattle to Portland. So that won't be too bad. That'll be like, I don't know, like a four hour drive, five hour drive, something like that. But the real test is Portland to Sacramento because that is a 10 hour drive.

[Shane Topp]

Is that really that long?

[Ian]

It's around there.

[Shane Topp]

But what about Sacramento? Down to San Diego?

[Ian]

That's also pretty long. But that's eight hours maybe.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, yeah. So 10 hours. 10 hours. But let's stop. We're not gonna go 10 hours.

[Ian]

And the hope is we're sleeping. You don't poop when you sleep, right? Not usually.

[Damien Hodge]

I mean, not anym. I've worked past it.

[Shane Topp]

But are we driving overnight? I thought we were staying at hotels.

[Ian]

We're driving overnight.

[Damien Hodge]

We're driving. We. See, that's the thing, man. We're sleeping on the tour bus and we're going into hotels just so we can like shower real quick. So there's no like true time of comfort. We're always sleeping on the bus and you only can poop during the time when you're also going to shower.

[Shane Topp]

What are the bed situations like?

[Damien Hodge]

Oh, it's. They're stacked on each other, bunk style. While we're moving and driving and you can hear the road. I'm not allowed to poop.

[Shane Topp]

I Want to apologize in advance to the shows where we just show up and we're dead tired.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Damien's crapped his pants.

[Ian]

This is. This is. This is. This is part of the joy of being. This is part of the joy of being on the road. Also, like every musician's like, fuck you. I had to sleep in a tiny van.

[Shane Topp]

Great.

[Ian]

We got a big ass tour bus. We got bed.

[Damien Hodge]

Listen, I do think, I do think.

[Shane Topp]

Regardless, Damien needs to have the bed closest to the bathroom.

[Ian]

I agree with that.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, like, I think that's fair.

[Ian]

I want the bed furthest away from the bathroom, furthest away from the smell.

[Damien Hodge]

I just want to let you know that, like, I'm not doing this to be malicious, but if I'm on a tour bus and I have to go to the bathroom and there's a bathroom right there, for sure, I'm going to straight up do it.

[Ian]

I get it.

[Damien Hodge]

Really am.

[Ian]

It's fine. You don't care about the well being of everyone else.

[Damien Hodge]

I really don't. And I'm gonna immediately flush. I'm gonna immediately flush. And we'll use poo pourri. What? How is it different that we have toilets here where you.

[Ian]

We should just. We should just break a window on the bus and have them just eject out the window.

[Shane Topp]

Well, isn't it also a thing. I mean, it's a thing for the people operating the bus that they have to clean that. Like, they have to. There's a system of the P1 is different than the poop one or.

[Ian]

No, it's the same. It's a septic. It's a septic tank.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. I mean, yeah, I know it's. This is mainly about the smell, right?

[Ian]

Smell.

[Shane Topp]

It's the smell thing.

[Damien Hodge]

But I also. It's not like I'm eating exclusively Brussels sprouts and milk. Like, it's. I'm eating normal old food.

[Ian]

We don't know that yet.

[Damien Hodge]

I have great fiber intake, so it's just usually one and done. Flush.

[Ian]

Yeah. Rhett and Link did give us one. One solid piece of advice. They said Metamucil. They said it's. It's. Your shits just aren't great on. On the road. So they suggested fiber.

[Damien Hodge]

And did they go on the tour bus ever?

[Ian]

Probably not.

[Damien Hodge]

Really.

[Ian]

Probably not universally accepted thing. You don't poop on the tour.

[Damien Hodge]

Where are you getting.

[Shane Topp]

We should ask them.

[Ian]

Every person has been on a bus.

[Shane Topp]

The thing is, I'm one of those people, like, it's very easy for me. I'm a Once a. Once a day person.

[Damien Hodge]

I am thrice a day. At least. I'm up 2 so far.

[Shane Topp]

I'm once a day, man. It's either early in the morning or the last thing.

[Damien Hodge]

I'm regular as a Swiss watch.

[Ian]

I mean, I wouldn't say three times a day is.

[Damien Hodge]

You eat three times a day. Why not poop three times a day?

[Ian]

I mean, I agree. I agree with that. If you're. If your intestinal system was just a straight shoot down.

[Damien Hodge]

It's like prunes through a goose. Just set it on through, dude.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Damien Hodge]

This is the grossest part.

[Shane Topp]

I'm designed. I'm designed for life on the road because yeah, it'll be easy for me to wait for the right times.

[Ian]

We'll see. Because I mean also. And also we're doing literally five shows. This is nothing. A piece of cake. This will be so easy. It's really like dead. Yeah, but it's like. Yeah, usually tours are pretty rough because people are doing like weeks on end and they're just eating garbage the whole time. Cuz you don't. There's nowhere to really get like healthy food on the road. It's not usually the number one priority. It's just like, I just need sustenance. Give me pizza. Which sounds awesome right now.

[Damien Hodge]

Bless you.

[Ian]

Bless you.

[Damien Hodge]

This is the grossest conversation.

[Ian]

So I will say, Damien, I fully. I fully support your need to poop. I'm just saying I will do my.

[Damien Hodge]

Best to not while we're on a tour.

[Shane Topp]

It's not like you're actively like, I'm shooting this bus.

[Ian]

I'm not gonna like block the door. You shall not pass.

[Damien Hodge]

And I'm also not like locking the windows. Be like, get ready to smell something weird.

[Ian]

Oh, there aren't any windows.

[Damien Hodge]

What's up?

[Ian]

There won't be any windows to open on the bus.

[Damien Hodge]

What does this bus look like?

[Ian]

I'm guessing it's like a kind of like. I don't think those. I don't think windows open on those big buses. Right, Kevin?

[Damien Hodge]

Emergency windows do.

[Ian]

Yeah, yeah. Bust open in a room.

[Shane Topp]

But this is a situation. I think the thing that we're gonna have to decide early on is like, do we either want to let Damian poop on the bus or do we want to have to stop every now and then? Like. And that. That.

[Ian]

But he doesn't want to stop because he doesn't want to shit in a McDonald's house.

[Shane Topp]

But also. But like, if that was. But even I don't know if I want us to Stop either. Because I'd rather us just get to the next town.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah, it sounds like the only person that was in any way opposing me going to the bathroom on the bus was you. And then you've just said, I fully support it, so. So this is a non issue. Also comment down below. Poop rights for everyone.

[Ian]

I think. I think. Here. Here.

[Damien Hodge]

Here's.

[Ian]

Here's what we'll do. All right. Can we. Can we. Can we agree on this? All right. On the first leg, Seattle to Portland. Let's give it a shot.

[Shane Topp]

That's only four hours.

[Ian]

Whether or not. Whether or not you need to poop.

[Shane Topp]

Can you go four hours?

[Damien Hodge]

I'm not.

[Ian]

No, no, no, no, no, no. I want him to poop. I want you to poop, Damian. I need you to poop on the bus on that first leg. I'm already. See how bad it really is.

[Damien Hodge]

I'm not a very schedule Y person. You want me to plan out a month in advance when I'm gonna take.

[Ian]

A poop start now.

[Damien Hodge]

Heaven help.

[Shane Topp]

Well, we're just saying if in a four hour span you feel like, you know, I don't have to, but I could.

[Damien Hodge]

I go anytime. But that's the thing.

[Shane Topp]

Well, then if you can at any time, then do it.

[Damien Hodge]

All I'm thinking about right now. Then as soon as we're done, I'm gonna go do it.

[Shane Topp]

Well, but in that four hour span, you're gonna be able to go to the bathroom.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah, sure.

[Shane Topp]

So then we're saying do it.

[Damien Hodge]

Great.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, easy.

[Damien Hodge]

It's great.

[Shane Topp]

And we'll see how bad it is.

[Ian]

You'll see how bad it is. And then if it's not bad, then, hey, then it's all good, my dude.

[Damien Hodge]

I'm gonna be so mad. If it's the highlight.

[Ian]

I don't think we're doing. We're not doing highlights.

[Shane Topp]

We're not doing highlights.

[Damien Hodge]

Oh, good.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, that got flushed down the drain like your poops on the tour bus.

[Damien Hodge]

Thank you.

[Shane Topp]

See, I'd rather do it from the comfort in. In what? At a. At a hotel.

[Damien Hodge]

Oh, got it. No, they're. They're getting us the Four Seasons. Oh, they better.

[Ian]

Nope.

[Damien Hodge]

What?

[Ian]

I don't know how much. How much time we got.

[Damien Hodge]

Do we have time for me to poop before that?

[Ian]

Do you need to poop right now?

[Damien Hodge]

I can wait.

[Ian]

I can talk. I can talk to. I can talk to Shane.

[Shane Topp]

Go poop, dude. It'd be funny.

[Ian]

Yeah, let us know how it smells. Bring a little jar in here so we could feel what it's going to be like on the bus.

[Shane Topp]

Can you bring us a stool sample for tour?

[Damien Hodge]

I can bring you a tiny stool. Stool. It's a stool sample.

[Shane Topp]

That's funny.

[Damien Hodge]

It's a tiny chair.

[Shane Topp]

It's funny.

[Damien Hodge]

All right, let's pick any other topic.

[Ryan]

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[Shane Topp]

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[Ian]

You know, new year, new decade. Any predictions?

[Shane Topp]

Oh, yeah. I want to do a little thing. I want to do a little thing here. So I used to. On set, I used to call it when I think we would rap. And I used to be very accurate. A lot of times, like, I would be calling it and I would say, like, all right, I'm calling at 6pm so I'm gonna do that starting now. I'm gonna call it for a lot of things. Kind of already did this on Smosh games, but I already called that there'd be a Chiefs, Niners, super bowl, but none of y'all care about that. But something I am gonna call and this might seem obvious to a lot of you, but I don't know, I'm still calling it. The trailer for Black Widow came out right and looks really good. And the actress who plays Scarlett Johansson's or Black Widow's little sister, her name's Florence Pugh, really awesome actress, got nominated. I am calling it that. They're clearly setting it up for Black Widow's not gonna come back. She did die in Endgame and she did die.

[Ian]

I forgot she died.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, but that's how little. That's how little everyone was like, oh, she's coming back. Like, they're reviving Black Widow. It's gonna be a thing. But I don't think they are. I think Scarlett Johansson's done with Marvel and I think Florence Pugh is going to be the new black. Like, they're gonna set up a thing where it's like, oh, I'm her younger sister. I'm now Black Widow.

[Damien Hodge]

They're definitely doing that for a lot of reasons.

[Shane Topp]

It Looks very obvious. I'm still. I'm calling it. Florence Pugh is literally a 23 year old Scarlett Johansson.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

She has a deep voice. She's like, attractive. Gotten Oscar nominations. It's like perfect.

[Ian]

And also it's like Scarlett Johansson. The Black Widow series obviously takes place before the Marvel movies, right?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Ian]

So it's kind of weird that now, 10 years later, she's got to play a version of herself that was younger than when she started.

[Shane Topp]

I don't know if it's. I think it might just be in the middle of it all. I don't think it's necessarily like, before. Like, I think it might even take place during, like, soldier time.

[Ian]

That's what you're.

[Shane Topp]

But I'm thinking I'm calling it that. It's like Black Widows. They're gonna reveal, like, this is, you know, she's done. But they wanted to give her her own movie. They've been asking for it forever. So it's like, it's gonna. We're gonna finally reveal everything about Natasha. It's like, holy crap. But then it's gonna be like, no, but she's gone. And now her little sister, who's gonna be mostly kind of evil throughout the movie. It's gonna be kind of like, I don't get your whole deal with the Avengers and all that bull crap. But then at the end, she'll be like, oh, my God, my older sister.

[Damien Hodge]

I totally get it.

[Shane Topp]

Now I'm gonna take up the moniker of Black Widow, which is also what Marvel's clearly gonna have to do when you have to replace actors. Iron Man, Black Widow, Captain America. These names will stick around, but they will be different people. I really hope Iron man, cheaper people. I hope Iron man becomes. I hope it's Black Panther's little sister. That would be. That makes perfect sense to me. Like, the smartest person in the world makes suits. Like, uses hand blasters in the movies that she's been. And come on, like, put. Give her. She is. And the end of Black Panther. She's in California. Like, makes sense. It feels like they set it up, but also not. So I don't know.

[Damien Hodge]

I think she'll be involved somehow. I don't know if she'll be the next Iron man yet. They still have her being, like such a kid.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, but that's also what you do. Like, you. Well, you have her do that. You have, man, you have someone else become. I don't know what they're doing with like, Hawkeye and stuff. You could set up a Young Avengers situation, too. But I'm not calling that.

[Damien Hodge]

So you're just calling.

[Shane Topp]

I'm just calling that Florence Pugh is going to be the next Black Widow for the next Florence pewdiepie.

[Ian]

I got one. I guess. Also. Also movie related. I saw the trailer, the Morbius trailer yesterday.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Ian]

And it. It looks like a big old steaming hot pile of garbage.

[Damien Hodge]

And wait, is this also a calling it. Are we all calling stuff?

[Shane Topp]

Yes, you can if you want. You don't have to.

[Ian]

It was just my bib, so I'm calling that. When does. When does Morbius even come out? Oh, July 31, 2020.

[Shane Topp]

You're calling. That's gonna be bad.

[Ian]

I'm calling that it's going to get a worse IMDb score than Venom.

[Shane Topp]

Ooh, that's a good call in it. And that's a. That's a good call in it.

[Ian]

Calling that. It'll probably be. Probably be about on par with its Rotten Tomatoes score, which is 29%.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, wow.

[Damien Hodge]

Wow.

[Ian]

I didn't see. I didn't see Venom, but I didn't see Venom either. I heard it was fun, but, like, Morbius is like. It's like, what? He's a vampire guy? Also, it's Jared Leto. Like, does anyone care about him? I don't know that much.

[Damien Hodge]

He's an interesting character.

[Shane Topp]

I don't know.

[Ian]

All right, I'm calling it. Morbius is gonna be training.

[Shane Topp]

We need to keep tabs on this and get a tally. So if people are calling stuff and it's accurate.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Then it's like, okay, did you see the.

[Ian]

Did you see the trailer for Morbius?

[Shane Topp]

I did.

[Ian]

It's like.

[Shane Topp]

I don't know what to think of it.

[Ian]

It's got the. That. I feel like we're. We're probably gonna call in another thing. I feel like we're. We're on the. We're on the precipice of a new trailer trope. Because right now, the trailer trope is a lot of, like, slam noises.

[Shane Topp]

Literally. The Black Widow trailer. The Black Widow trailer.

[Damien Hodge]

It's the new Likehorn.

[Ian]

Or do you remember the single piano keynote?

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah.

[Ian]

We gotta save everyone. Bing.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, we are. We are in the slamming.

[Ian]

So I feel like right now it's just like.

[Shane Topp]

That'S definitely.

[Ian]

Then the Morbius trailer is just like, all that shit.

[Shane Topp]

It is a lot of it. I don't know what to think. I think Sony's trying to just use every single property they own. They're like, what do we got? Venom. And we got Morbius.

[Damien Hodge]

Wait, is Morbius part of the.

[Shane Topp]

So it's part of the. It's connected technically to the MCU because it's connected to the Spider Man Far From Home universe. So only that aspect.

[Damien Hodge]

So he's a vampire.

[Shane Topp]

Somebody pointed out, like, he's not technically a vampire. He is, but he isn't. He's not actually a vampire, but he is a.

[Ian]

But he needs blood to survive.

[Shane Topp]

He's essentially. He has all the traits of a vampire to a certain extent, but he's a scientific. He's like the Hulk, if the Hulk were more like a vampire.

[Damien Hodge]

Got it.

[Shane Topp]

It's a scientific.

[Damien Hodge]

So he's a vampire, but he didn't just get bitten by it or an older human. Human.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. And I think he can. He can survive in sunlight and he's not allergic to garlic or whatever. But I do think they're hoping it sets up like. Blade.

[Damien Hodge]

Blade would be cool.

[Ian]

Blade be cool.

[Shane Topp]

Blade's gonna be happening. Blade's gonna be. Yeah, it's a movie. It's. What's his name from moonlight and what?

[Ian]

Marshall?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, he's gonna be Blade.

[Damien Hodge]

All right.

[Shane Topp]

I'm pretty positive. Yeah.

[Ian]

I mean, you can't beat my boy Snipes, but.

[Damien Hodge]

What are you, taxes?

[Shane Topp]

Oh, my God.

[Ian]

Sorry.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, boy.

[Damien Hodge]

Got it.

[Ian]

You're just waiting for that? That.

[Damien Hodge]

No. I mean, no. I didn't know Wesley Snipes was going to come up in this combo.

[Ian]

I actually never really. I saw, like, the first.

[Shane Topp]

I love. I love all three, man. They're so fun.

[Ian]

But I was, like, a kid when I. When, like, I saw Blade, and I remember watching with my dad kind of traumatized me. They're great how much blood there was. I was like. I was like, like. Because my parents didn't let me watch, like, rated R movies growing up, so.

[Damien Hodge]

Watched our movies from, like, age five. Yeah.

[Ian]

Well, that explains.

[Shane Topp]

Those movies are so good. I love that Blade. Blade had a trilogy.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Like, that was, like, the first. First. It was a first trilogy.

[Ian]

It was called Blade Trinity, the third one.

[Shane Topp]

So good.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah. I remember the one where, like, they're talking about summoning La Magra, and there was, like. They're, like, in this dance party. And that's, like, mainly what I remember about.

[Ian]

Yeah, there's, like, all blood. It's like a blood party.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah, it's like a blood party.

[Ian]

Yeah. That's what I remember being, like, really freaked out about it.

[Damien Hodge]

I was like, is this what it's like being a teen?

[Ian]

Yeah. And then. And then Blade two Rise of the Lyc Lichens.

[Damien Hodge]

No, it's not. That's.

[Ian]

Yeah, that's the one.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Damien Hodge]

I'm not letting this be a thing, Ethan.

[Ian]

Matrix 2 Rise of the Lichens.

[Damien Hodge]

Reloaded. It's Reloaded.

[Ian]

No, I'm pretty sure it's Rise of the Lycans.

[Damien Hodge]

They need to make a movie called Rise of the Lycans, but it's about, like, moss.

[Shane Topp]

Blade 2, Temple of Doom.

[Damien Hodge]

Lichens. Lichens.

[Shane Topp]

Like, Like.

[Ian]

Oh, like the moss is moss. Lichens.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah, it's a different kind of, like, lichen.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Ian]

This is going nowhere. Liking this bit.

[Damien Hodge]

I'm liking this bit, too. Rise of the Lichens.

[Ian]

So nobody. I feel like that movie, like, Underworld, Rise of the Lycans came out in, like, 2000.

[Damien Hodge]

Oh, no one knows what this is.

[Ian]

Sorry.

[Shane Topp]

There's 50 Underworld movies and also 50 Resident Resident Evils.

[Ian]

Yep, yep. There's. There's an audience.

[Shane Topp]

It's astounding that nobody saw Resident Evil 2, but yet they made 5,000 more of them.

[Damien Hodge]

Because they were the only, like, accessible gaming movies at the time. Where you're like, oh, what? Zombies got it?

[Ian]

Like, I don't think it's gamers. I don't think it's gamers that are watching the Resident Evil.

[Damien Hodge]

That's what I mean. Because it's people being like, oh, I can still see what this is. I've heard of this, but now I just know it's zombies. But I think going off on a little tangent here, we are finally starting to discover video game movies have never worked, because they. Video games are a lot like books in that you're gonna spend 40 to 50 hours with a story or a character and really get immersed in a world. And that's what makes you love them so much. If a game were two hours, you'd be like, this game sucks. Same with the movie. And that's why I think the Witcher nailed it so hard on Netflix. Because they're doing a series, you finally have 12 hours to spend. And, like, my mom is watching the Witcher. She doesn't know about the books or the games, but it's accessible now because we get to learn well.

[Ian]

And it's also a more adult franchise. Like, it's not like a PG13.

[Shane Topp]

Kind of like, the argument that people are making is that it is technically, it's no different than any fantasy series based on books, because it is. It is drawing almost entirely from the books.

[Ian]

Okay.

[Shane Topp]

I think, like. Like, I don't think. I think maybe. I think the only thing that's really been drawn from the game is Henry Cavill. I think got the voice from the game, but I don't think any story wise though.

[Damien Hodge]

But they're not, they're not. I mean they are adapting the books but they would not have made this series had there not been a very successful game franchise that gave us the look and the style of all the stuff. It's. Yeah, it's the same as like. I don't know if Assassin's Creed had a 12 episode run, but see the movie was terrible because they had to set up so much and get you on board even if you haven't played the games. This is like they can take their time with you and slowly just.

[Ian]

I think you're right.

[Shane Topp]

Well then what. What game do you think could they could do now?

[Ian]

I think Assassin's Creed would have been.

[Damien Hodge]

It would have been great as a series because it's historical fiction that checks off so many boxes that can. You know, Game of Thrones almost does, but it's more fantasy also like I never watched it.

[Ian]

But like they're like the movie's interpretation of like the animus. Because like in the game you just like sit in a bed. It's your brain and it's like in your brain. But then like they were like, that's not. That's not cool enough. So like they had him like suspended on this thing like doing.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah, that looks.

[Ian]

And it just seemed really silly.

[Shane Topp]

You know I have a weird pitch that I really.

[Ian]

But what's your. What's your call?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, are you calling?

[Ian]

What are you calling?

[Shane Topp]

You don't have to.

[Damien Hodge]

Oh, oh, I don't have a call. Okay, sure. This year we're gonna see another gaming based thing from Netflix. Like a 12 episode run. Something like a Mass Effect.

[Shane Topp]

Mass Effect would be so good.

[Damien Hodge]

Yup.

[Ian]

I got shelved a long time ago.

[Damien Hodge]

Was that a thing for real?

[Ian]

Yeah, same thing with Uncharted. I think they're on to like they're.

[Damien Hodge]

Trying to make a two hour movie and it keeps. How do you do it?

[Shane Topp]

They also change them so much they're almost never actually it's almost like inspired by the video game.

[Ian]

Did you ever see Forward Unto Dawn? The Halo? Halo, like short series. It was.

[Shane Topp]

It was.

[Ian]

All right.

[Damien Hodge]

I. So for. Sorry, I got confused for a second because I thought you were talking about Halo. Fall of Reach, which is where I'm. Where I play Master chief.

[Ian]

I'm sorry.

[Damien Hodge]

Sorry.

[Ian]

Wow.

[Damien Hodge]

And I was about to be like, yes, I've seen it. I was teenage but the one that.

[Shane Topp]

I think would actually be a legit show. It's weird.

[Ian]

Well, you were Master Chief in the book.

[Damien Hodge]

No, in the. In the animated thing. For a Halo Fall of Revolution, I'm teenage Master Chief, and I didn't even know it was a Halo project when I got in the booth. And that's how secret they keep things until I got in there. Like, you know Halo, right? And I'm like, sort of. They're like, great. You're John. Like, oh, God.

[Ian]

I read that book.

[Damien Hodge]

It was one of my first ever.

[Ian]

Back in the day. I was a big Halo fan. I read that book.

[Damien Hodge]

Well, I'll sign.

[Ian]

It's a good book. It was a fun book. I enjoyed it.

[Shane Topp]

Sorry, sorry. The. The video game that I think could be a good show and this be very different, but I think Metroid could be an awesome. Because they're cool because there's so much like. And that's one where they would have to essentially create the story because there's much. But it's like, that setting is so unique. It's so, like. I don't know. I think it'd be done really cool.

[Damien Hodge]

We'Ll ever see anything like that from the.

[Shane Topp]

Do it like a horror. Do it literally, like a isolated horror.

[Ian]

Nintendo doesn't do that, I guess, like. Yeah, that's true also. But, like. But, like, how would she roll up into a ball? How would she roll up into the ball, though?

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah, that's the one problem you didn't think about how she'd roll.

[Ian]

Also, I was gonna say, like, they. They would. Like, one issue has always been like, a helmeted character where you can't see their face. But Mandalorian. Mandalorian.

[Damien Hodge]

Fantastic.

[Ian]

Pulled it off, but.

[Damien Hodge]

It really did.

[Ian]

But it's also because of his. His personality and his character, he gets away with it because it's not really about, like, he's just in a show.

[Shane Topp]

You would probably see her face through the helm helmet.

[Damien Hodge]

They could just do like an Iron man, you see.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, exactly.

[Damien Hodge]

And there's a lot. There's a lot to dig with for Samus there because, you know, she's not. I mean, she's silent because of the nature of the game, but, like, at her core, she is. It's the pull of being a mother. It's always.

[Ian]

Hold on. Samus is a. Is a girl.

[Damien Hodge]

Yes. Oh. But it's the pull of being a mother. It's, you know, taking down Mother Brain as the final boss in the first one and then finding a Metroid egg and keeping It. Because she has this feeling of like, I can't. You can't hurt this baby. It's the last of its kind. And she like nurses it and accepts her as like, spoiler alert. In the second game, that same baby that she saves comes back and saves her. Because there is this connection, even cross species. It's like raising something from.

[Shane Topp]

You do it. You do a three episode, hour and a half an episode thing with that. You make it really like, you make the first episode have like a couple lines of dialogue. You have them being like, all right, so you know the mission. Like, here you go. And then that first 45 minutes is her walking through caves. And you're like, what the hell's going on? There's some weird crap. And then like, you culminate it with like fighting Ridley or something or just, I mean, have it go nuts.

[Damien Hodge]

Maybe it starts with that battle and then she gets the egg. And then it is literally her struggle of like, what to do about this.

[Ian]

I think it's just too silly of a universe. I don't think people would like.

[Shane Topp]

I think you make it super. I don't know. I think it could. I think there's too much mystery. Like, it's. You know, the problem with other things is when people know too much about something, then they get all mad. But that's one that you could kind like enough people don't know much, but everybody knows of that character.

[Ian]

It's kind of crazy. They haven't done a Zelda thing, but that's the thing.

[Damien Hodge]

Nintendo just.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, I wish they do manga. I also wish they would do an F01. Make that insane. Make that absolute. Like, you cast like.

[Ian]

And Captain Falcon.

[Shane Topp]

You just literally have the cast of Fast and Furious as racers and they'll just like, you just are like, okay, you cast Dwayne Johnson. Just be like. Just go nuts, man. Just make the character whatever you want. Like, any of you can play any. Like all these. All these racers could be any character.

[Damien Hodge]

You know what actually be awesome is like a Dark Souls or a Bloodborne. If you're gonna go the silent protagonist thing like with Yuda or Diablo. Metroid Diablo would be cool. Diablo I could actually see being a thing. But I think the lore of Dark Souls is like, rich enough that it's got that fantasy element that I think people would be stoked to see as a show. And they've got all those characters that are just always hanging around that you talk to a bit. But, like, make the, like, depressed knight your like the bard that follows you around basically is, you know, you almost.

[Shane Topp]

Make that like each. It's almost not an anthology, but every episodes it's a standalone thing kind of kind of thing where you come across different being or a different person. And like it's always like some sort of dark tale.

[Ian]

Okay.

[Shane Topp]

Could be cool.

[Ian]

So what do you calling.

[Damien Hodge]

What am I calling? Oh, I'm saying that we'll see more video game adaptations as a series on Netflix or Netflix.

[Ian]

Amazon.

[Shane Topp]

I think with the success of. With the success of Witcher, honestly, I think other streaming services are gonna be like, well, we gotta do ours. Because after Game of Thrones then Amazon's like, we're gonna do a billion dollar Lord of the Rings.

[Ian]

Do we know, do we know if the Witcher was even successful? I mean, like, it was.

[Shane Topp]

It was the most. What? It was the most watched.

[Ian]

Say what now?

[Shane Topp]

It was streamed series. It was the most years.

[Ian]

Yeah, baby. More Witcher.

[Damien Hodge]

It beat Stranger Things.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, it beat Stranger Things.

[Ian]

Suck at Stranger Things. Get out of here.

[Shane Topp]

It's also crazy because it was critically panned. Like, it was. Yes, Witcher critics did not like. Yes, it has a 65 on rot, which isn't terrible, like, but it got really pretty bad reviews by a lot of places, but still did so well.

[Ian]

It was definitely. It was definitely a rough start.

[Damien Hodge]

It was in the time jump thing. For anybody who hasn't seen it yet, I. This is not a spoiler. I think it's something that will just help for all the different characters that they focus on. They are in different timelines. Some of it is like way before some of the others. So, like, I had to explain that to my mom because it was just like, why are they meeting in court now? Like, they explain it real quick. Like in Geralt's storyline, there's a character that says, you know, did you hear that? This person just won their first battle and she's a woman, so she can do anything. And then they cut to that lady who is at that point a grandmother and a very seasoned warrior. Yeah, being like, I remember when I had that battle back in the day and I'm like, that's the one thing you're doing to tell audiences good luck.

[Ian]

Yeah, they didn't do a great job with that. I think the reason. You don't think the real reason why the Witcher beat Stranger Things. Stranger Things didn't have a freaking toss a coin to 11, you know, feed.

[Damien Hodge]

A waffle to that girl. Valley of Eggos.

[Shane Topp]

That's parody. Come on.

[Damien Hodge]

I don't think we could use any of that.

[Shane Topp]

It was just a fun show, you know, because it wasn't, it wasn't. It had gritty moments, but it was overall more, more fun than it was dark and insane, which I loved.

[Ian]

And it's got tooties. Hahaha.

[Shane Topp]

Also, you know, Henry Cavill, I was doubting him, but he ended up being the best.

[Damien Hodge]

I was very worried. Yeah, I was very worried.

[Ian]

He nailed it. He really did, man. Who would have known? Who'd have known you had a.

[Shane Topp]

You had a little segment you were pitching before the start of this.

[Ian]

Oh, yeah. Well, I mean, like, do we have time? We got five minutes, let's say.

[Shane Topp]

David.

[Ian]

Yeah, let's. Let's end this with some, with some good news, guys. Damien's vitamin deficiency.

[Shane Topp]

Oh yeah.

[Damien Hodge]

This is random as hell. But like, basically I've been. For the, like, past year, I've been like, my mood just hasn't been awesome. I've been really tired all the time and I'm just like, what's going on with me? And about a week and a half ago, I found like, some multivitamins I used to take. I was like, oh, yeah, I should start taking these again. And I immediately felt like a flipping superhero. You ever just forget for about a year that you have a vitamin D deficiency? I did, because I used to, like, have these, like, medicines and vitamins that I would take that were just sort of lined up in my cabinet and then I moved and I didn't have them just in front of my face all the time, so I literally just forgot that, like. Yeah, I really need to take these things to feel good.

[Ian]

But can you get vitamin D for free?

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah, from the sun. Which I'm not going to do because I get hives when I go out in the sun. You see, I'm a vampire. I'm a mess.

[Ian]

But like, what if you don't, like, get hot or sweaty? Like, can you just kind of go out in the sun for like a little bit?

[Damien Hodge]

But like, taking a massive amount of vitamin D and a vitamin is still more than what the sun gives you, I think.

[Shane Topp]

How, how long in the sun before you start getting it?

[Damien Hodge]

I mean, it's not bad, but if the sun starts like, beating down on me and getting a little hot, it'll be like a half hour to an hour.

[Ian]

I mean, you shouldn't be spending a lot of time in the sun anyway.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah. Because we broke.

[Ian]

You got to get that balance between vitamin D and cancer.

[Shane Topp]

I think like 15, 20 minutes in the sun is really good for you.

[Damien Hodge]

Every day or a vitamin while I'm in my room playing computer games like Danganronpa. Shout out to Kevin. Oh, it's so easy to just take a pill and fix it.

[Ian]

I'm still not convinced that Danganronpa is an actual game.

[Shane Topp]

It is just. He's just staring in front of a screen with white noise. Yeah, this game is great, Danganronpa.

[Damien Hodge]

I love these pills next to my computer.

[Ian]

Vitamin D. So you're feeling. You're feeling better now?

[Damien Hodge]

I feel awesome. These are marbles, and they're great. I feel like a rock star. I literally feel awesome. I wake up and I'm able to hop right out of bed. My sleep is restful. I have energy throughout the day. I used to come home from work, take a nap, and then immediately stream or whatever, and then I would just be dead. Now I'm hopping back on stream and actually feeling like, hey, let's go. It's another day. And I was worried because I was like, I feel like my energy has been low for months. People are gonna get bored, bummed and all that. And I, like, haven't been exercising either. I was like, how do I have energy to do this now? I do. All right, So I feel awesome.

[Ian]

So your advice to the kids is don't exercise. Just take vitamin D pills. Is that what I'm taking away from this?

[Damien Hodge]

If you're tired all the time, maybe there's a reason. Get checked out. And if you have a vitamin D deficiency, take a bunch of vitamin D. Your energy is going to be awesome almost immediately. And then you can work out.

[Ian]

Yeah. Hey, if you got. If you got health insurance or you live in a country that isn't fucked and has a national health care system, get your blood checked. Figure out if you're, you know, deficient in any.

[Damien Hodge]

Yeah. Get tested for blood. If you don't have blood, you need it, probably.

[Ian]

I mean, the jury's still out on if you need blood or not.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Ian]

And bone marrow.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, maybe.

[Damien Hodge]

And we've come full circle.

[Ian]

Exactly.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Ian]

And. And that. I'll close it out, guys. Get your blood, get your bone marrow. Get. Get your small Australia shirt. 100% of the proceeds go to the Australian Red Cross.

[Damien Hodge]

Can I say one more?

[Ian]

Save those wallabies. Yes, please.

[Shane Topp]

Okay.

[Damien Hodge]

Sometimes when people make merch, it's printed on, like, that horrible, horrible cotton that everybody hates, and it just sits in your closet forever and you never wear it. This shirt is so comfy. It feels, like, soft. It's that soft cotton. I will actually legitimately be wearing this all the time.

[Ian]

It feels very nice. It is a very nice feeling shirt.

[Damien Hodge]

It is not that garbage collection. Feel.

[Ian]

Feel good about your contribution and feel good in your shirt. Love you so much. Smoshcast coming at you every Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wednesday on all the podcast listening platforms. Rated 5 stars on all those apps. Any of those apps. We really, really appreciate it. And the video format comes out on Friday on the Smoshcast YouTube channel. Thank you guys so much. Thank you, Shane. Thank you, Damien. Get your blood checked and spay and neuter your cats. Bye.

[Damien Hodge]

Neuter your siblings.

[Shane Topp]

No pooping on the bus.

[Ian]

No pooping on the bus.

[Damien Hodge]

Pooping at a bus.

[Ryan]

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[Shane Topp]

VGW Group void. We're prohibited by law 21/ terms and conditions apply.