S2: #59 - Love in the Time of Quarantine

Summary

Podcast Summary: Smosh Mouth – S2: #59 - Love in the Time of Quarantine

Release Date: April 15, 2020

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1. Introduction to the Episode's Theme

In this episode of Smosh Mouth, hosts Shayne Topp (short), Amanda Lehan-Canto (tall), and Olivia Sui, joined by rotating Smosh friends, delve into the multifaceted experiences of love and relationships amid the COVID-19 quarantine. The conversation balances humor with serious discussions about societal issues, personal challenges, and the evolving dynamics of relationships during unprecedented times.

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2. Addressing Racism Against Asian Americans During COVID-19

Olivia Sui brings the conversation to a pressing social issue: the surge in racism and attacks against Chinese and Asian Americans linked to the pandemic. She shares her concerns and personal experiences, emphasizing the emotional toll such discrimination has on the community.

Olivia Sui [00:35]: "I don't know if you guys have been following the news, but a lot of Chinese Americans, Asian Americans have been attacked, like physically and verbally attacked."

Shayne Topp echoes the sentiment, highlighting the disparity between professed anti-racist intentions and actions observed on social media.

Shayne Topp [26:01]: "Don't be racist, dude. Like, you can be anything. You can be affiliated with any party. Just don't be a racist."

The hosts discuss specific incidents, such as a tragic beheading incident involving a Chinese family, underscoring the urgent need for compassion and education to combat baseless fears and hatred.

Olivia Sui [29:12]: "It's just the cruel thought that we are a virus scares me."

3. Navigating Relationships and Dating in Quarantine

Ian Hecox shares his attempt at online dating during quarantine, describing an awkward video chat date where he faced unexpected distractions.

Ian Hecox [11:07]: "I did one video chat date and she was like doing her dishes or something."

The hosts explore the challenges of maintaining romantic connections without physical presence, touching upon the emotional complexities and humorous mishaps that arise from virtual interactions.

4. Olivia's Experience Fostering a Puppy

Olivia Sui enthusiastically recounts her journey into fostering a husky mix puppy named Banana. She describes the emotional rollercoaster of selecting a puppy and the responsibilities that come with caring for a new pet during quarantine.

Olivia Sui [03:28]: "I fostered a dog today, so."

The conversation highlights the positive impact of fostering pets as a means to combat loneliness and provide unconditional love during isolation.

Shayne Topp [56:15]: "It's a great time for exercising yourself and him to take him on long walks."

5. Coping Mechanisms: Chores, Exercise, and Social Interactions

The hosts discuss various strategies they've adopted to stay sane during quarantine. Shayne Topp emphasizes the therapeutic benefits of maintaining a clean space, while Courtney Miller shares her regimen of intense workouts and creative content creation.

Shayne Topp [13:18]: "Maintaining a clean space will help a lot. Because if I was sitting in a mess during all this stressful stuff happening, like I would be 10 times worse."

Courtney Miller highlights how staying active and productive helps manage stress and maintain mental health.

Courtney Miller [22:11]: "I have very good experience with training dogs and... I'm just like, all right, I'll just keep going until."

6. Dreams and Mental Health During Quarantine

A lighter yet insightful segment explores the phenomenon of vivid dreaming during quarantine. The hosts share their personal experiences with unusual dreams, connecting them to the heightened stress and anxiety of the times.

Shayne Topp [39:55]: "I've had some, like, yeah, they've just been vivid and, like, they kind of stick with me the next day for a little bit."

Ian Hecox introduces the concept of lucid dreaming and its relation to self-awareness in dreams.

Ian Hecox [41:10]: "Shane, tell us about how you can't dream."

7. "Shoot Dude" Storytelling Segment

The episode features the "Shoot Dude" segment, where hosts share humorous and exaggerated stories. Ian Hecox narrates a tale about mistaking a manatee for a shark during a trip to Florida, leading to a series of comical yet reflective moments.

Ian Hecox [46:35]: "So today's shoot dude is from Brianna McLaughlin boho... turns out the shark I thought I saw was a manatee."

This segment serves as both entertainment and a way to process fears and mishaps through humor.

8. Future Episodes and Community Engagement

In wrapping up, the hosts tease potential future episodes focusing on individual experiences, such as the "Florida Cast", and encourage listeners to engage by sharing their own stories and ratings.

Shayne Topp [55:24]: "What would you guys do in that situation?"

Courtney Miller [55:31]: "We should do a Florida cast. We shall tell our Florida stories about Florida man."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Olivia Sui [00:35]: "A lot of Chinese Americans, Asian Americans have been attacked, like physically and verbally attacked."

• Shayne Topp [26:01]: "Don't be racist, dude. Like, you can be anything. You can be affiliated with any party. Just don't be a racist."

• Ian Hecox [11:07]: "I did one video chat date and she was like doing her dishes or something."

• Shayne Topp [13:18]: "Maintaining a clean space will help a lot."

• Olivia Sui [03:28]: "I fostered a dog today, so."

• Ian Hecox [46:35]: "Turns out the shark I thought I saw was a manatee."

• Courtney Miller [22:11]: "I have very good experience with training dogs and..."

• Shayne Topp [56:15]: "It's a great time for exercising yourself and him to take him on long walks."

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Conclusion

Smosh Mouth's episode "Love in the Time of Quarantine" offers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and critical discussions on social issues exacerbated by the pandemic. The hosts navigate the complexities of maintaining relationships, combating racism, and finding joy and purpose through activities like fostering pets and staying active. Their candid conversations provide both entertainment and meaningful reflections, making the episode relatable and engaging for listeners navigating similar challenges.

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Note: Advertisements and sponsor mentions have been omitted to focus solely on the substantive content of the episode.

Transcript

[Ryan Hecox]

Hello, it is Ryan. And I was on a flight the other day playing one of my favorite social spin slot games on chumbacasino.com I looked over the person sitting next to me and you know what they were doing? They were also playing Chumba Casino. Everybody's loving having fun with it. Chumba Casino is home to hundreds of casino style games that you can play for free anytime, anywhere. So sign up [e-mail] to claim your free welcome bonus. That's chumbacasino.com and live the Chumbalaya sponsored by Chumba Casino.

[Courtney Miller]

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[Shane Topp]

Ramble.

[Olivia Sui]

I don't know if you guys have been following the news, but a lot of Chinese Americans, Asian Americans have been attacked, like physically and verbally attacked.

[Ian Hecox]

I did one video chat date and she was like doing her dishes or something.

[Shane Topp]

You know, we're all friends and like, we're all on the same page. We're like, yeah, obviously, don't be racist. Don't be racist. Quote, cool. No one's racist. And then you go on social media and you're like, oh, yeah, these people live different lives from me and haven't learned the same things I've learned.

[Courtney Miller]

So you were saying it was a big deal that a random YouTuber shows up there. Meanwhile, Chuck Norris lives there.

[Ian Hecox]

Wow.

[Courtney Miller]

Ian Hecox. All we got is this boring Chuck Norris over there.

[Ian Hecox]

Well, oh, hello, hell. Welcome to the Smosh cast. We are still at home, baby. Staying safe, staying sexy. And. And with me today is the. The ineffable. I actually don't know what that word means, but I heard it in Cats. A Courtney Miller, Shane Topp, and Olivia Sway.

[Olivia Sui]

Hi. Ineffable sounds like unfuckable.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, really? Oh, no. I don't know. They say it and they say it in Cats. Do you remember the part where they're like, affable? Affable?

[Olivia Sui]

You watched Cats.

[Ian Hecox]

I saw.

[Olivia Sui]

You really are in quarantine.

[Ian Hecox]

Cats twice in theater. This is. This is the funny thing about the state of. Of, like theater going well pre quarantine is that I missed most of the Oscar movies when they're in theaters, but I saw Cats twice in theaters.

[Olivia Sui]

That's so strange.

[Ian Hecox]

That just goes to show.

[Shane Topp]

Ineffable means too great or extreme to be express or described in words.

[Olivia Sui]

Oh, wow. Thank you.

[Ian Hecox]

Wow. I should find a different word then.

[Olivia Sui]

You should just like every. Every girl you meet on a date, you should just say you're an F O.

[Shane Topp]

And they'll be like, what, you don't want to bang me? Oh, wait, it's a compliment. It's the perfect amount of being mean and being nice to a girl.

[Olivia Sui]

I know.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. But if she's not. But if she's not affable, I'll still say that. Be like, ha, you thought it was a compliment, but you not.

[Shane Topp]

And that's how supervillains go on dates.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. I'm basically the Lex Luthor of Bumblebee.

[Courtney Miller]

Nice.

[Shane Topp]

I feel like you're the Go Go Gadget because you're, like, an inspector following leads, and you're having to use technology now because you can't see them in person. You have to. Have you been doing that? Have you been doing, like, video chat dates or. What's the situation on that?

[Ian Hecox]

So I've done. I've done one FaceTime date. I'm trying to set up some others.

[Olivia Sui]

Oh.

[Ian Hecox]

But it's weird. Like, I feel like. I think everyone kind of burned through, like, what they thought they were going to, like, do in their quarantine in, like, the first week, and now everyone's just like, you now.

[Olivia Sui]

I fostered a dog today, so.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. Dude, wait.

[Olivia Sui]

Yeah. Wait. Can I show you guys how she looks like?

[Ian Hecox]

Please?

[Shane Topp]

She's here.

[Olivia Sui]

Yeah, she is here at the house. But I also have photos of her.

[Ian Hecox]

What kind of doggie?

[Olivia Sui]

She's a husky mix.

[Shane Topp]

Is she bigger, like, medium, or.

[Olivia Sui]

She's a puppy.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, buddy.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, what a little lady.

[Olivia Sui]

Or you go on Instagram. I just posted her.

[Ian Hecox]

That's so smart. Fostering an animal right now because you're. You're home all the time. Like, there to, like, take.

[Olivia Sui]

Exactly. We don't need to go anywhere.

[Ian Hecox]

That's so smart.

[Olivia Sui]

She's, like, so sweet. And that's why I was late to this podcast. I got a text message this morning to pick up the foster. So then I literally, like, Sam pooped so fast, right? Like, super speed. Super speed. I super speeded it, too, by the way.

[Courtney Miller]

So you both are like, we got to go pick up this dog. So we both. We both need to right now.

[Shane Topp]

You guys have excited poops?

[Olivia Sui]

No, Like, I. We just, like, we're like, we need to leave now. We need to get there, and then we get there, and then we were the first ones there, but the pups weren't. They didn't arrive yet. And we waited for, like, a super long time, and more people started showing up, and this woman was just, like, kind of freaking out because she was the only person There. And I think there was, like, 10 different dogs.

[Ian Hecox]

Whoa.

[Olivia Sui]

And everyone's, like, waiting to pick one up. And she wasn't sure which puppy or which dog went to, like, who. So we were all like, no, no, We. We wanted this, like, black little puppy, but it's okay. Anything works. So she was just handing off these fosters, and, like, we had to decide, like, which pup. Like, it was just awkward. Do you know what I mean? Like, we all wanted a certain one, but then the person that we told wasn't there. So we're all just like, are you okay with this one? Like, and we don't want to be assholes. Like, they're. They're. Puppies are so cute. Like, who cares? But it was, like, just. It was. It was weird. And then this girl. And then this girl just comes in. We've been waiting for, like, more than an hour, and this girl drives up, and she's, like, parked in the middle of the street. She goes in the house, just takes one and what? And then we're just like, wait. We were all, like, waiting. Like, it was weird. We were like, I think you just witnessed a heist. It was. It was a lot. But we're really happy that we got to do it. It was. And we saw a bunch of friends that were there, too. It was literally the actors of Los Angeles meeting up on this tiny street getting puppies.

[Shane Topp]

Geez.

[Ian Hecox]

So what? So then where are these puppies coming from?

[Olivia Sui]

It was really sad. So there were two. There were two dogs, like, grown. They were just dumped outside of a ranch in Bakersfield. Oh. And then. Yeah, it's. It's really, really sad. And a lot of the puppies were just, like, thrown to, like, a farm or somewhere, like, far out, and they. This dude just goes and picks him up.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, wow. That's really sweet. I think. I think now is such a. Yeah, it's such a perfect time to foster.

[Shane Topp]

Was it hard. Is it hard to, like, get, like, set up to do that?

[Olivia Sui]

No, not at all. A lot of my friends have been fostering through this foundation, and. And they've been getting, like, an overwhelming amount of applicants because of social media and all of that. So it took about, like. I turned in my application form a week and a half ago. Little less than that. And then she told me to hang tight because there's a lot of applicants, but Sam's. So I'm quarantining with Sam, my boyfriend, and Cameron, their roommates and best friends, and they both have, like, experience with training puppies. And.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, if you need any help. I. I don't mean to brag, but I have very good experience with training dogs and.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, why don't you. Why don't you foster a puppo?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, I think I would sooner foster a cat, which is why I'm interested in what you're saying. I would probably foster, like, an adult cat that hopefully won't, like, freak out.

[Olivia Sui]

And I'll text you the information. And the woman that I was talking to, I'm, like, so excited. I've never had a responsibility of taking care of another, like, living thing, so I'm excited to, like. But the boys are having fun. We don't have a name for her yet. We're thinking of Banana.

[Shane Topp]

Aw, that's so cute. Cause you've been working with Bananas so much.

[Ian Hecox]

I feel like that would be a great name for a dog that Shane is fostering.

[Shane Topp]

It is Monday.

[Olivia Sui]

Don't take the name. But I was texting Garrett this morning, too, telling him I was running behind, and he was like, oh, my God. Like, where are you doing this? Like, what kind of a dog is it? Like, we're thinking about doing the same thing. So I think a lot of people are hopping on that foster train, and I really think we're going to get so attached to this pup. She's so sweet.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. Yeah. There's also. Yeah. Fostering kittens is a big thing as well.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. I probably would want to give, like, an older cat a chance.

[Ian Hecox]

Do they. Do. They do foster. I guess they do, right? They do fostering for.

[Shane Topp]

I think so pups and cats of all ages and sizes. Because, like, all those. Like, every kind of animal gets abandoned by a farm. Like, I am still, like, working quite a bit. So, like, I want to be able to have a cat that's, like, still kind of independent.

[Olivia Sui]

Mm.

[Shane Topp]

So I can be, like, filming and stuff, but also have someone to, like, hug so tight that I almost pop them.

[Ian Hecox]

I know. Cause we're. We were talking to. We were talking to Tommy yesterday. Our. Our. Our social editor. We had a group of people all in a. In a Google hangout. And he's like, I am just so desperate to touch an animal. Like, I just want to give. I just want to give, like, belly scratches to something. I'm like, if you want, I could just put my dog out front. You could drive by and just, like, pet her. And he's like, don't. He's like, I will do that. I will jump out of my car as it's still going.

[Shane Topp]

No, it's not. Safe. My neighbor has this little dog that is so confused why I won't walk up to him and pet him. But I'm just like, yeah, sucks. I haven't pet a dog in, like, a month and a half. And my neighbor, he's like, yeah, I mean, like, kind of almost willing to offer it. I was like, no, it's not safe. Like, I. We don't know. Like, I could. And he's like, yeah. And the dog's just like, what is going on? Dogs are so confused.

[Ian Hecox]

Maybe you could just tell the owner to, like, brush the dog a bunch and collect all the fur and then give it to you, and you could just, like, knit another dog.

[Shane Topp]

If I had a dog, I would probably be like, hey, if you use hand sanitizer, I will let you pet my dog. And then I will just, like, get, like, wipe my dog down. Because they have, like, puppy wipes that clean them.

[Olivia Sui]

I think that's what we need. I think we need to get some puppy wipes.

[Shane Topp]

They're great because, like, bathing a dog is good, but you aren't supposed to do it too often. And wipes are great because they make them smell nice. And get the. The immediate stuff.

[Olivia Sui]

Like, I'm gonna tell Sam to order some online.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, puppy wipes are great. Try not to get anything too perfumey. Like, try and get some very gentle, like, stuff, because puppies are. They're skin sensitive.

[Ian Hecox]

Puppy skin.

[Shane Topp]

What are we cruel? But, Ian, so you've only gone on one video chat date?

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, like I was saying, like, people, like, I feel like. I feel like all the dating apps were popping off on, like, the first week of lockdown.

[Olivia Sui]

Really? You think so? But you can't.

[Ian Hecox]

Like. Yeah, but, like, everyone was just desperate and bored. So I think everyone was just kind of going to the apps because they couldn't meet people in real life. But now I feel like it's definitely, like, mellowed out a little bit maybe. But, yeah, I did. I did one. I did one video chat date. It was fine. It was. It was.

[Olivia Sui]

It was like, how do you guys, like, did you get naked?

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, I just had my butthole showing the whole time.

[Courtney Miller]

That's Omegle. Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. That is.

[Olivia Sui]

Like, were you having coffee and eating, like, it was like, a day? Or were you guys just like, well.

[Ian Hecox]

I had a glass of wine.

[Olivia Sui]

Oh, my God, bitch.

[Ian Hecox]

And. And she was, like, doing her dishes or something.

[Olivia Sui]

Oh, my God. It's completely different.

[Courtney Miller]

So it was married for 25 years.

[Shane Topp]

So rude to do dishes while on a date.

[Olivia Sui]

Just so Loud clanking of the plates yeah.

[Shane Topp]

A quarantine date should not have chores going on.

[Olivia Sui]

I've been doing more chores than like ever.

[Ryan Hecox]

Hello, it is Ryan. And I was on a flight the other day playing one of my favorite social spin slot games on jumbaccasino.com I looked over the person sitting next to me and you know what they were doing. They're also playing Chumba Casino. Everybody's loving having fun with it. Chumba Casino is home to hundreds of casino style games that you can play for free anytime, anywhere. So sign up [e-mail] to claim your free welcome bonus. That's chumbacasino.com and live the Chumba life.

[Courtney Miller]

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[Olivia Sui]

I wait. The first thing I do in the morning, I go downstairs and I start wiping everything down. I've been doing that for like, damn.

[Ian Hecox]

Can you just live at my place? Because I'm not doing anything.

[Olivia Sui]

So I'm cleaning like Sam's place and my own place. Like I go back to my apartment to like wipe down everything even though I'm not there.

[Shane Topp]

Oh man. I like, I. I will. I'll be saving chores to do different days so that I know I have something to do. Like I finally was like, all right, it's time to, to mop my floors.

[Olivia Sui]

And I like, I feels good to like be clean and be like, virus, you can't touch me.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. And just like having. I feel like maintaining a clean space will help a lot. Like for. Because if I was sitting in a mess during all this stressful stuff happening, like I would be 10 times worse. Worse than how I am now.

[Olivia Sui]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Like we've been now filming with a little bit more gear for sketch and stuff and with pod, like getting, getting gear. Like it made me nervous at first because I was like, I don't know where to put this. I live in an apartment.

[Olivia Sui]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

But I actually, I went and bought stuff and created a workspace. So I have like my desk and I got a computer that I'm playing sims on now. But I like, I have like a organized corner now with where my gear goes and stuff. So I feel better about it.

[Ian Hecox]

I only clean when somebody's expected to be over at my place.

[Shane Topp]

That's definitely good motivation.

[Ian Hecox]

So without that motivation, I'm like, well, I do have like a plate that I use for dinner sitting on my table. But I don't really need to get rid of it right now.

[Shane Topp]

No, just put it in your sink.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, but it's like the sink's over there and the plate's there.

[Shane Topp]

My new thing is because, like, dishes are loud with the sink and everything. I don't have a dishwasher, which, this makes me so sad. But I will put on my noise canceling wireless little like, gym headphones, and I'll listen to a podcast while I do my dishes.

[Olivia Sui]

I like. I like doing chores now. I've changed.

[Shane Topp]

Quarantine changed me.

[Olivia Sui]

Dude, yesterday it was so funny. We got that, like, thing going and everyone started posting silly. Yes, I was waiting for yours, Ian.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, Ian, why. Why didn't you do. Okay, well, yeah, so let's explain the. The backstory if people don't know. So basically one yesterday morning, I woke up and I was like, frick, I need Instagram content so bad. And I look, I open Instagram. Olivia, you're the first thing I saw. And I was like, that'd be really funny to copy her. And then I. Soon as I posted it, I literally worked so fast. And then I went into the quarantine group chat and I was like, guys, you guys get a copy Olivia with me.

[Olivia Sui]

That's. Oh, I thought it was like, organically. Everyone just started doing it.

[Shane Topp]

Joe did it. I didn't know Joe was gonna do it. It was like, it was so funny. I really wanted Ian to it because he's got the most.

[Ian Hecox]

I mean, I just don't want to put you guys to shame, you know?

[Shane Topp]

Well, you should have. What else were you doing yesterday?

[Ian Hecox]

So much?

[Olivia Sui]

Like, he was on his. Like, he was still on his date.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Olivia Sui]

Except no one was on the other end.

[Ian Hecox]

No one's on the other end. I'm just waiting for her to call me back. Just like, staring at the phone.

[Shane Topp]

The FaceTime thing has been going for days.

[Olivia Sui]

You guys have been quarantining alone, right? Like, all of you guys?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, I tried visiting my family, like, really carefully a little bit ago, and it was. It was nice, but also just, like, kind of frustrating because I want to be able to just, like, hug my family and like, frick it, I'll sleep over, like, whatever. But it's just we're living in completely different towns and, like, my. My sister's still, like, going to stores and stuff pretty regularly. Like, I try and do only, like, super necessary errands and stuff. And like, I just. I don't want to risk any cross contamination of any kind. I'm not like. Not like, what? Whether it's them, maybe Carrying it or me maybe carrying it, like whatever. But yeah, because I think some people are just taking it a little more seriously than others, which. Which is hard.

[Olivia Sui]

Everyone's got to take it very, very seriously. I was talking to my best friend Lily, who was on my podcast this week talking about, you know, what's really going on in the front line. And she works at a really big hospital in LA and she works in the COVID positive patients ICU. So she's like seeing this like 18 hours a day. She only sleeps for like three hours. And like she is like dealing with this. And she was saying she was like, I've seen 90 year old people be okay and I've seen really young people like us like, like horribly dealing with this. Like, it's painful, it's really, really sad. So the best thing is to take it super seriously. What's the harm in taking it super seriously?

[Shane Topp]

My sister, she's an EMT and she's been around. They actually asked her to go into Seattle to possibly help transfer patients and stuff. She's like, she wasn't really working with any positive patients for a while, but now there's sometimes having to like transport them. Like, okay, you don't need to be in the hospital, you can continue care at home. So she's. Their job is to like transport those people back home to safe. And she's, she's careful like because she lives with a bunch of people at home. It's like her group of people that she sword fights with, you know, it's that sister that is a night loki, a knight. She like takes off her gear and leaves it there at work.

[Olivia Sui]

Her night gear?

[Ian Hecox]

Her?

[Shane Topp]

No, her auntie.

[Ian Hecox]

That'd be so funny if she wears her suit of armor out to like go grocery shopping.

[Olivia Sui]

It might as well be that because they are. It's like going to war with this virus. And there's no masks. Like they. There are, but it's. They're just taking a lot of donations.

[Shane Topp]

Our wardrobe person that we had for the longest time, then she like went off to go do this like TV show. Yeah, she, she also has this like company or not company. It's like her hustle, her side hustle. I think it's called witch and heathen. She makes really cool like candles and stuff like in like random jars and containers with like crystals and herbs in the wax.

[Olivia Sui]

Oh, I would buy that.

[Shane Topp]

And now she started making like really pretty cloth masks with like filter stuff in them, like in pockets to put filters.

[Olivia Sui]

That's amazing.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, I've heard that like, a lot of, a lot of like the LA costumers are switching to like manufacturing masks and stuff. So it's kind of cool. Like it's, you know, obviously all the costumers in LA that would normally have jobs working on television shows and digital shows, like they're pretty much all out of work.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. Because there's like a. Apparently near where my sister was living, an aircraft, like a navy vessel or aircraft carrier was coming in and they were like sending out a request for basically to have like a huge line of people making those cloth masks. So my sister's roommate who's been also like making those trendy masks, got like called up to go and do that and like start making masks for the, for like the people coming, coming in. In the Navy.

[Olivia Sui]

How is it like being alone? Quarantining alone?

[Shane Topp]

I mean I, I haven't been too lonely. I mean like I've been FaceTiming with my family regularly.

[Ian Hecox]

I got my, I got my APM cheer for my, from my neighborhood. So I, that's, that's my social interaction with, with other people. So every, every night at 8pm like my whole neighborhood like does like a celebration for like medical workers and central personnel. So people just like yelling. Yeah. Like it gets, it gets more sophisticated every, every week. I think luckily they're not doing it anymore. But somebody brought out like a high powered laser and was like shining it around. I was like, okay, maybe don't do that. But there's been like a sixth grader with a, with a trumpet that's like playing the national, national anthem.

[Olivia Sui]

That's the worst, right? A sixth grader playing a trumpet.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, it's. Look, it's not.

[Olivia Sui]

I was a sixth grader playing a violin and it sound like freaking scratches on.

[Ian Hecox]

It's not the best, but it's, it's so adorable because like you, you know, he's like trying and, and then after like he's done like the whole like the whole neighborhood's like, yeah, so it's fun and you get to scream into the void. And there's something really cathartic about just screaming as loud as possible for no reason. Shane, how have you been dealing with a homie Lonely?

[Courtney Miller]

I've completely lost my fucking mind. At about 7pm I put on war paint and I try to catch my shadow and I'm getting really close. He's very fast, but I'm gonna get him then. Generally at some point in the day I just post random dumb stuff on Instagram and Twitter. This has actually been Pretty stellar for my content, because my content has always been stupid things. At home by myself. That is literally all I've ever posted on Instagram. That's true. I can scroll back. So really, this quarantine, that's been one of the only plus sides for me is that I now have no excuse but to make the content I usually make.

[Olivia Sui]

Have you been exercising?

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, Yeah, I. I have. I bought a couple dumbbells and a kettlebell, and I have some resistance bands and a jump rope. And I just kind of. At a certain time of the day, if I have a window, I just go until I literally feel exhausted. So that's anywhere from an hour to three hours and I'm.

[Ian Hecox]

Whoa.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. Well, I just have all the time in the world, so I'm just like, all right, I'll just keep going until.

[Shane Topp]

I think it's, like, going.

[Courtney Miller]

But it's also. I'll put on, like, a TV show. So I'll just be watching episodes while I just continue to do stuff in that time.

[Ian Hecox]

Wow.

[Courtney Miller]

Three hours is, like, max. But that's also me, like, taking breaks in between stuff for, like, a few minutes or whatever.

[Ian Hecox]

Like, you take, like a snack break? No.

[Courtney Miller]

I'll often, like, make a protein shake that I'll drink throughout the workout. Or maybe I'll sneak, like a Cadbury Creme egg or something.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, naughty boy.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. How's everybody else's workouts going?

[Olivia Sui]

I've been running a lot.

[Shane Topp]

Nice.

[Olivia Sui]

I'm, like, really proud of myself because I don't like to run, but I've downloaded this new app called Nike Run Club. And you set a goal for yourself and then you just. They tell you in your AirPods how your speed, how much you've ran, and then you. You, like, win badges or however. Yeah, it's great. I love running outside, but I've been carrying a pepper spray with me. I ordered it on Amazon. And Sam's actually been so awesome with running with me. Sam runs, like, for a five mile run. His time is like 36.

[Courtney Miller]

That's insane.

[Olivia Sui]

He's, like, super fast.

[Shane Topp]

That's a really good.

[Olivia Sui]

Yeah, he's. He averaged like seven minutes.

[Courtney Miller]

That makes sense because he plays basketball, so I would imagine he has good endurance.

[Olivia Sui]

Yeah, it's crazy, but I feel bad because I slow him down. But he's willing to just, like, run with me because he's like. I don't know if you guys have been following the news, but a lot of Chinese Americans, Asian Americans have been attacked, like, physically and verbally attacked. So Sam is just, like, really worried just about me being in public and, like, running errands and stuff like that. So he's just been like, yes. Couple days ago, I was running by myself because I was like, I got this. And then he, like, called me three times in my run, making sure that I was okay.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, that's cute.

[Shane Topp]

So sweet.

[Ian Hecox]

He's your personal buddy guard.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. I can't believe that shit's, like, actually still happening.

[Ian Hecox]

I can, because people are dumb.

[Olivia Sui]

Terrifying. It's really scary. I don't even. Like, my mom will tell me. She's like, yeah, like, I went out to get groceries, and I'm just, like, so worried about her just waiting in line and someone just. Look, it's just. It's. It's a very horrific, disgusting situation that Asian Americans are being put through right now. I just worry about my family and my friends just being out there. It's dangerous.

[Shane Topp]

It's good that you've been, like, using your. Your platform and, like, your podcast and everything, bringing awareness of that stuff, because we do have a voice, and it's important to use it, especially now.

[Olivia Sui]

Yeah. And this is not even, like, politics or what side you're on. It's just human decency, and it's just having compassion, you know? So no matter what political point of view you have, this is just pure racism. So just don't be it.

[Shane Topp]

Don't be racist.

[Ian Hecox]

Don't be a little.

[Olivia Sui]

Don't be racist, dude. Like, you can be anything. You can be affiliated with any party. Just don't be a racist. But, yeah, even on my social media, I've been reading, like, comments like, you know, oh, are you gonna eat bat soup?

[Shane Topp]

Oh, my God, no.

[Olivia Sui]

I don't even, like, pay attention to it. But the fact that, you know, people have the audacity to even comment that or just even bring it up and.

[Shane Topp]

Talk about it, it's such a shock, usually. Cause, you know, we're all friends and, like, we're all on the same page. We're like, yeah, obviously, don't be racist. Don't be racist. Cool, Cool. No one's racist. And then you go on social media and you're like, oh, yeah, these people live different lives from me and haven't learned the same things I've learned. So, like, it's. It's still. But you never get used to it. Like, Livia, you and I were talking yesterday, like, just when you're scrolling through comments and you're like, oh, wow, these people are still making derogatory comments like, that like about our cast and like cool. Like you're like, what is.

[Olivia Sui]

And I think especially right now, a lot of these comments are stemmed from fear, you know, And I think being fearful of this virus makes you and makes you do crazy things and makes you think about some really hateful things. So I mean, I think education has a lot to do with, you know, how you want to react to things.

[Ian Hecox]

Like also like the hilarious, like it's not hilarious, but the thing that just kind of like exemplifies the dummy attitude to some people is like the people that have been like physically attacking like Asian Americans. Like it's like you're coming into contact with these people saying that they have the virus. Yeah, that's, that's smart. That's some, that's some, that's some big brain thinking.

[Courtney Miller]

I mean, you're probably talking about the same people who are not drinking Corona beers out of fear. I mean that's a legitimate thing going on. The potential for stupidity is kind of infinite.

[Ryan Hecox]

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[Ian Hecox]

That is kind of, that is kind of the great, that is kind of the great power of the Internet is that now the. These like racists are being outed. It's like, okay, it's all out there. It's all now public knowledge and it'll probably be attached to your name and face forever. So have fun with that.

[Olivia Sui]

But the thing is, is that like the ones that I've seen, right, it's on social media and there's a lot of just these situations happening to Asian Americans where it's not documented and it's not put all over the Internet. So you know, this is still happening, but maybe just because it's not on the Internet, people don't know as much about it as, you know, the ones that have been viral.

[Courtney Miller]

Well, and the problem, the problem also is people are getting outed and they're not caring. People are, people are now openly and proud of being racist. And when you have a racist president, it's if the person at the top is just as racist, then you're not worried about.

[Olivia Sui]

About Exactly.

[Courtney Miller]

Or anything.

[Olivia Sui]

I think the one that really just I like read, I read the article and I just cried was that this little girl got stabbed at a supermarket with her family. And it was a 19 year old guy who did it and he just told the police that he thought they were spreading coronavirus in their town.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Olivia Sui]

So he felt like he needed to protect his town and his people, so he just stabbed the crap out of this Chinese family.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. That's a big old Yikes.

[Olivia Sui]

Yeah. And you know, I've always felt like when I walk out in public, I feel like I'm pretty confident and I don't really think about how I look. But this, this time right now has made me really look at myself from the outside and like, kind of know. I don't know why this sounds like kind of fucked up, but it's like I know my place now in America.

[Ian Hecox]

You know, I think most people are all on the same page that these things that are happening are insane.

[Olivia Sui]

Right. And even if it's not a physical act or like somebody outwardly saying something, it's just the mentality of people thinking that a Chinese person in America has coronavirus or that they brought coronavirus to the country, like that is just dangerous in itself, you know, and enough to put fear in Asian Americans that other people, maybe they're not verbally saying it to us in public or they're not physically attacking us, but just the, the cruel thought that we are a virus scares me.

[Ian Hecox]

I feel weird talking about this with a handlebar mustache.

[Shane Topp]

What does your hat say, by the way?

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, this is Westwood Lumber. I got this hat. This is. I think it says Westwood Lumberjacks.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, nice.

[Ian Hecox]

I was out and it's this little tiny mountain town out near sort of like where me and my family go for like holidays. It's like up in the mountains up north. North California. I heard there was like a new coffee shop out in the little town. So I was like, oh, check it out. So I went there and I was like reading a book and like the person behind the counter was like, you look familiar. I was like, oh, I do like YouTube stuff. She's like, oh my God. Yeah, okay. Because it's a small town. I think she was the theater teacher, but also like the English teacher at the school. And she's like, she's like one of my students is like a huge Smosh fan. And I was like, oh, that's cool. And Then. So, like. So I'm still there, like, reading a book, whatever. And. And then. And then that student comes in. Oh. She's like. And she's like, I'm sorry. I just had, like, I had to tell her. I was like, that's no problem. So, like, I. I took a picture with her. Whatever. Is talking to him for a little bit. And then, like, another kid, like, comes, like, bursting into the coffee shop, like, out of breath. And I was like, did you, like, literally just run over here from your house? He's like, yeah. Oh, my God. This is crazy.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, my God.

[Ian Hecox]

And so it ended up being, like, six. Like, six kids, and they're all just, like, hanging out.

[Shane Topp]

The teacher, like, mini doxed you a little bit.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, it didn't matter. I mean, like, look, it's a small town. Like, how often does, like, a weird thing like that happen? Like, some random person you're watching on YouTube is randomly @ your coffee shop, and there's no one else in the coffee shop. It was, like, literally just me and then the person working there.

[Shane Topp]

That's cute.

[Ian Hecox]

So we're hanging out. Oh, they mentioned. Dude, this is the craziest thing. They. They put on a, like, theater production, and they did, I think, a couple. A couple sketches from our Smosh Live production.

[Shane Topp]

No way.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, so they did. They did the Hangman sketch. Wow. I don't think they did Inner Galact Whip, but I think they did one other one. But, yeah, they did the Hangman sketch.

[Shane Topp]

Wow, that's so funny.

[Ian Hecox]

So they gave me a hat for free.

[Shane Topp]

That's cute. Wow.

[Ian Hecox]

So I wear it with pride.

[Shane Topp]

That's so crazy.

[Ian Hecox]

They did Westwood.

[Shane Topp]

What, Live?

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

That's really cute.

[Ian Hecox]

They're like. They're like, yeah, Chuck Norris lives around here, too. He, like, goes the same church.

[Courtney Miller]

So you were saying it's a big deal that a random YouTuber shows up there, meanwhile, Chuck Norris lives there.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. I don't know. And that, like, lives there all year round.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. Chuck Norris is bullshit to them. They don't give a fuck.

[Ian Hecox]

No, Chuck Norris is definitely a bigger deal because he can, like, roundhouse kick and all those other jokes that people made 10 years ago.

[Shane Topp]

Wow.

[Courtney Miller]

Ian Hecox. All we got is this boring Chuck Norris over there.

[Shane Topp]

Olivia, I'm glad Sam is there for you. And it's really sweet that he's so protective of you like that.

[Olivia Sui]

Yeah, I feel like Sam and I have gotten, like, closer in this quarantine, you know? I feel like most people either get really tired of each other because we have been together for almost 30 days. Yeah, I don't think he's ever, you know, spent that much. Like, I don't. I've never spent that much time with someone. I asked him, and he. I was like, so, what do you, like, think about this, like, us quarantine? He's like, honestly, I feel like it's a. It's like a different type of love. It's like a deeper love that I have for you now.

[Ian Hecox]

So when the quarantine lifts, y'all get married?

[Olivia Sui]

No, I'm divorcing him.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, man.

[Olivia Sui]

You definitely town you were on each other and hang out truck. What?

[Shane Topp]

I said, you guys definitely, like, learn a lot about each other, huh?

[Olivia Sui]

Honestly, like, I tried, like, the first week. I was like, I'm gonna ask you some questions. And he was like, shut the fuck up.

[Ian Hecox]

Well, you can't run anywhere, so now's the perfect time.

[Olivia Sui]

I know, right? I was like. I was like. So, like, when you were little, like, what were the things that, like, your mom would. And he was like, what? He's like, why do you care now?

[Shane Topp]

That's so cute.

[Ian Hecox]

There's no running from this, Sam. You have nowhere to hide.

[Olivia Sui]

You have nowhere to hide. Cor, you know that seal that you gave me?

[Shane Topp]

Yes. The one I got in San Diego.

[Olivia Sui]

You know, he's been with me everywhere.

[Shane Topp]

That's so cute. I even saw you. Like, we're traveling with him, right?

[Olivia Sui]

He went to Milan with me. He went to New York with me.

[Shane Topp]

And you wouldn't even tell me. I would just see it in your Instagram story, like, you using it as a pillow. We.

[Olivia Sui]

I, like, he sleeps with me. You don't understand. He's a part of my family, and he almost got lost in Milan.

[Ian Hecox]

It's like a harbor seal, right? It's like a baby harbor seal. Is that. It's supposed to be, like.

[Olivia Sui]

I don't know. His name is Seal.

[Ian Hecox]

It's like a white seal, right?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, it's a little. It's a little guy. I. It's an extension of myself. So I thank you for taking me everywhere with you.

[Ian Hecox]

That was. That was my childhood stuffed animal. I think I still have it somewhere, but it's like a smaller seal. Yeah, it's like a little white. A little white seal pup. It's, like, smaller than that, but it was my childhood, like, stuffed animal that I kept.

[Shane Topp]

It's like the Beanie Baby, but it's for babies, so they don't put beans in them. They put this, like, it's not Normal fluff. It's like this extra almost like it's so.

[Olivia Sui]

It's like a marshmallow.

[Shane Topp]

It's almost. Yeah, it's like marshmallowy. How soft it is. And I knew I was like, I'm getting this for Olivia.

[Olivia Sui]

I love imagining just like little Ian with a little toy because he's such a grown ass man. Especially with his mustache. Like, I just like want to think of you as like a little baby. Just so cute.

[Ian Hecox]

I cut all of his like fuzzy fur off because I dropped him in the toilet once when I was peeing, so.

[Shane Topp]

Oh yeah, I remember that story.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. So I cut all his fur off and then like, like had my mom like wash up.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. You told that story on show with no name.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. Yeah. Do you have a. Do you have a childhood toy, Shane?

[Olivia Sui]

Yeah. Weight. A 10 pound weight.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

I talked about my, my childhood things once, I think on show with no name. But I had, I had the pillowcases from.

[Shane Topp]

Oh yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

When I was a baby, from my bed, like my crib. I had the pillows, the pillowcases, and I called them my cold pillows. And I would even sometimes throw them in the freezer for a little bit. And because I liked, I would like hold them to my face when I slept in my bed as like an extra cushion. I would just ball them up right there. Oh, and I like that they were cold because I get too hot when I'm. I still. It's why I don't sleep under the covers. So back then it was like a like little cold thing and I would just have time with me and then for most, most of my childhood, I just had them in bed. Like I would just sleep with them. I didn't like carry them around all day.

[Olivia Sui]

Shane, is that a real plant behind you?

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. Oh yeah, it's a plant. This thing needs like zero sunlight.

[Olivia Sui]

It's a snake plant, right?

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. It gets like a little bit of sunlight in this room, but it's doing fine.

[Olivia Sui]

Dude, my mom is like calling me nonstop because I, I told her that I fostered a dog.

[Shane Topp]

Oh my God. I really want to foster a cat now. Dude, you got me thinking about it.

[Ian Hecox]

You should do it.

[Shane Topp]

I might look into that today.

[Ian Hecox]

Okay. This is something. This is something that was brought up in our. We had a group of people from, from work, all in a Google hangout. And, and I, and I thought about it. I was like, oh, yeah. And then I read a news article about it. Quarantine dreams. Have you guys been having. Have you guys been having like extra vivid dreams since quarantine?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Olivia Sui]

Yes.

[Shane Topp]

I don't think. Well, Shane doesn't dream.

[Courtney Miller]

I don't.

[Ian Hecox]

Shane, have you been dreaming?

[Courtney Miller]

Nope.

[Ian Hecox]

Okay. Because I don't ever remember my dreams. And lately I've been having, like, crazy dreams that I kind of remember. And then. And then, yeah, this, this LA Times article came out about it and it's like, yeah, everybody's not well, except for Shane, apparently. But everybody's been having, like, extra vivid dreams.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. Usually stressful for me. Sometimes they're scary. I don't like it.

[Olivia Sui]

You should look it up.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, sometimes I look them up. But, like, I even asked my therapist, I was like, are there meanings behind dreams? And she's like, yeah, usually they, they. It's not like a. Like, like sometimes they do correlate with something in your life. Like, last night I had a stress dream. Cause today I'm supposed to meet with our. Our merch person, Liz, to discuss possible future things for the Hoo Hoo line.

[Ian Hecox]

Ooh.

[Shane Topp]

And last night I was having stress dreams that, like, merch was being released that we didn't, like, want, like, hoo Hoo. Popsicles. And like, I didn't. I don't understand how.

[Courtney Miller]

Popsicles.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. So that was last night. I've had some, like. Yeah. And then there's some, like, weird. Yeah, they've just been vivid and, like, they kind of stick with me the next day for a little bit. But I think now I'm just starting to, like, just dismiss them a little more. But it's definitely been wild.

[Ian Hecox]

What about you, Olivia? Have you been having weird ones?

[Olivia Sui]

Yeah, this one was like a week ago I posted on my social, but it was me, like, like the. The floor. I was at the school and the floor was just crackling with lava seeping through it.

[Shane Topp]

Whoa.

[Olivia Sui]

And I was. I'm like. And then I try to get to the highest, like, desk. And then I was just, like, on top of it, on top of the desk. And I see everything below me, just hot lava, like in waves, coming to the school.

[Ian Hecox]

Whoa.

[Shane Topp]

Jeez.

[Olivia Sui]

That one was. And then I looked it up online and the results were. You're a little fucking bitch.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, that lines up. I have a really quick question I wanted to ask. Hi, it's me, Kevin. Hello, Kevin. Shane.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

Can you elaborate on the fact that you don't dream?

[Ryan Hecox]

I don't think you've ever talked about.

[Ian Hecox]

That in the podcasts before. Oh, yeah. Shane, tell us about how you can't dream.

[Olivia Sui]

Yeah. Wait, what?

[Courtney Miller]

Well, I don't Know, I. I have dreams. It's just. It's so insanely rare. And maybe it's just that I don't remember them, but literally, like, maybe when I was. When I was younger, I used to have my dreams. Never made any semblance of sense, right? Like, and they would jump around a bunch. It was never one coherent dream. Like, it would be me in the woods with a weird rope, trying to lasso a tiger. And then suddenly I'd be in a car, but it wouldn't be a car that I've ever seen before. And it would be in a car full of people I've never met before, and they're kind of just speaking gibberish. And then suddenly I'll be in space, floating about. Like, it would just. There's nothing for me to even Google afterwards. Like, what does this mean? It would just be, like, all over. But, yeah, I rarely do. Like, I kind of. I go to bed and then I just. Then I wake up. Yeah, it's so rare that I dream.

[Olivia Sui]

Interesting.

[Ian Hecox]

I mean, that's kind of. I mean, that's kind of a blessing in a way of, like. I mean, you must sleep well, then.

[Courtney Miller]

I've never had sleep issues. Yeah, like, so you don't even.

[Shane Topp]

Okay. No, it's too personal. What I was going to ask. Do you know what I was going to ask about? No, no, I'm sorry. I was like. So you never even have, like, horny dreams?

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, horny dreams.

[Courtney Miller]

When I was younger. When I was a teenager.

[Olivia Sui]

Yeah, dude, I have a horny.

[Ian Hecox]

We all are. It's the word.

[Olivia Sui]

Horny gets me horny.

[Shane Topp]

I feel like all my dreams are always stress dreams. The most common dreams I have is usually like, I'm trying to drive somewhere and I'll crash the car. Or it's like, time to go to an event and I don't have clothes or makeup on.

[Olivia Sui]

And I'm like, yes, I get that too.

[Shane Topp]

But here's the thing. I always wonder, have you guys ever had a dream where you're on your phone? Because I've never had that yet. I'm on my phone so much, but I never dream about being on my phone ever.

[Courtney Miller]

Probably because your brain is not actively thinking about looking. The activity is not looking at your phone. The activity is whatever is being presented by your phone, and that's what you're going to dream about.

[Shane Topp]

But, like, the fact that I'm always on social media and thinking about, like, Instagram and Twitter, like, I don't even have Twitter or Instagram dreams.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm not on Twitter going, I am on Twitter. I'm on Twitter looking at a news headline and my brain is only thinking about that news headline, the news headline. My brain's only thinking about the joke I'm reading and I'm gonna dream about that.

[Shane Topp]

So weird.

[Courtney Miller]

You're not thinking about the projection. You're thinking about what's being projected.

[Ian Hecox]

Whoa.

[Courtney Miller]

It's the allegory of the cave.

[Ryan Hecox]

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[Ian Hecox]

My the dream that I remember. Because I also don't usually remember my dreams, but I have been lately. I had a dream. Well, so I kept seeing this ad pop up for that, that sci fi show, the Expanse. And I heard the show's really good and I really want to see it, but I don't have Amazon Prime. But I've seen the ads, so I've seen the faces of the actors. And then I had a dream that I was watching the show and I had all the actors, all the actors were in it, but I just made up like a sci fi plot in my dream.

[Shane Topp]

So funny.

[Ian Hecox]

And I was like, I guess this is the expense.

[Shane Topp]

I used to get really into controlling my dreams. Like when I was younger. Yeah, that was like a thing I would. When as soon as you realize you're drinking, dreaming, like stopping and making things appear or disappear and like deciding to fly. Because like I could fly in my dreams though.

[Ian Hecox]

That's lucid dreaming, right?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, I think it depends because I couldn't. I can't like necessarily feel everything.

[Courtney Miller]

But lucid dreaming is when you are controlling your dream. It's when you're aware that you're dreaming.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, I haven't done that. I haven't been able to do that. I can't even remember the last time I tried, like since like high school.

[Ian Hecox]

Well, you. Next time you get one, you should try to look at your phone and go on Twitter.

[Courtney Miller]

Maybe it's impossible. Maybe it's kind of like punching people in your dream. You can't do it.

[Ian Hecox]

I want to. Sorry, I want to add into that really quick. So for you, as far as looking at your phone or looking at data or reading things, that's actually how you lucid dream by trying to read something. Usually in your dreams it's pure gibberish. So. So if you're looking at your phone and then you read something and it's gibberish, that's a good way to wake yourself up in the dream and be like, oh.

[Courtney Miller]

Or you forgot how to read.

[Shane Topp]

That's also happens to me all the time.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, maybe you forgot how to read. Well, I'm waiting for that.

[Ian Hecox]

I forget forgetting how to read Sounds like a perfect segue into Shoot dude, Shoot dude.

[Olivia Sui]

Shoot dude.

[Shane Topp]

Shoot dude. Shoot dude.

[Olivia Sui]

Shoot dude.

[Shane Topp]

Shoot dude, Shoot dude.

[Ian Hecox]

So today's shoot dude is from Brianna McLaughlin boho. Maybe this is. Maybe this is Rhett's daughter or something. Same last name. My soon to be mother in law, let's call her Becky, took me on a trip to Florida last summer. It was really sweet of her and we had a great time. However, there was a moment that exposed who I really am. One day Becky and I were pretty far into the ocean. We were chatting and relaxing and having an overall great day. She was facing the shore and I was across from her facing the ocean. Suddenly, I saw this huge dark mass a few feet behind Becky. It was at least 7ft long and I knew in my heart that it was a shark. In a moment of mindless self preservation, I turned around and swam as fast as I could to the shore without one word of warning to Becky. I got to the shore before I thought to turn around and make sure she was okay. When I turned around, I saw not only her, but two or three other people still next to this dark mass. I expected screams of terror, but what I heard were delighted oohs and ahhs. Turns out the shark I thought I saw was a manatee.

[Olivia Sui]

Oh.

[Shane Topp]

Oh.

[Ian Hecox]

Who decided to get up close and personal to the Taurus. The manatee swam away. Before I got out to Becky, I made up some excuse about forgetting my sunglasses which seemed.

[Shane Topp]

Oh my.

[Ian Hecox]

She seemed to believe. I never told Becky the truth. But the fact that I left the woman who will be my mother in law to be eaten by sharks will haunt me forever. But to quote Boneless, you gotta stay safe.

[Shane Topp]

It's Brianna. Boneless.

[Ian Hecox]

Can you. Can you say that line?

[Ryan Hecox]

You gotta stay safe out there.

[Shane Topp]

Wow. I haven't done that in a while. I've been very quiet in my quarantine so that hurt.

[Courtney Miller]

That's such a perfect. Like, that needs the Curb youb Enthusiasm theme at the end of it. Cause it's such a perfect scenario of, like, she thought it was a shark, left her friends to die, and then it was like, oh, my God. This is the best situation of all time. Oh, my God. So perfect.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, my God.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. That's so perfect.

[Shane Topp]

That's a shoot, dude. That's.

[Courtney Miller]

That's a. That's a difficult shoot. That's an enjoyable shoot, dude, because nobody got hurt or severely embarrassed or anything.

[Shane Topp]

I mean, she got embarrassed for almost killing her mother.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. But you know what? She now has hopefully that shoot, dude. If she's ever in a situation where there is a shark, she'll now act accordingly.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. So this was a good.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Life lesson.

[Ian Hecox]

I mean.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, yeah. So good.

[Shane Topp]

Just yell shark.

[Courtney Miller]

So, yeah, good question. What would you guys do in that situation?

[Shane Topp]

I'll go, oh, my God. Shark and swim.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I think I would. You know, I don't believe anyone who ever says outright that they would do the heroic thing. Like, anyone who's like, oh, I would for sure save my friend. Like, you don't know what you do. But I do think out of fear, I would probably yell something, and it might just be. But, like, I would do something that would alert the people around me that there's something going on.

[Shane Topp]

Mm.

[Courtney Miller]

So I would at least.

[Shane Topp]

Silently.

[Courtney Miller]

I would at least scream and pee my pants. So there'd be warmth. That would maybe warm them or that would warn them.

[Shane Topp]

Warm them.

[Courtney Miller]

That would warm and warn them. They'd be like, whoa, it's really warm right now. Did someone pee? We got to get out of here. That's how I would get them out of the water. See, that's what I do all the time.

[Olivia Sui]

So you. Someone would have to save me or I'll die.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, see, Olivia would be screwed even if she was.

[Shane Topp]

No, she's fine, because she won't be in the ocean in the first place.

[Ian Hecox]

That's true.

[Olivia Sui]

True.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

Dude, Olivia, maybe you could use this opportunity in quarantine to learn how to swim.

[Shane Topp]

Where?

[Olivia Sui]

Where?

[Ian Hecox]

Fill up your room with water. Duh.

[Olivia Sui]

Like the guy with the orbeez.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, exactly.

[Shane Topp]

Just learn to swim in your bathroom.

[Ian Hecox]

Learn to swim in orbeez.

[Olivia Sui]

Dude, I can't.

[Ian Hecox]

I think you bring up a good point, Shane, where, like, in the moment of something really scary, like, you think you're going to say something, but usually what comes out is just, ha.

[Shane Topp]

I feel like, realistically, I'm such a space cadet. I would be like. And then point and then I wouldn't react until my other friends reacted because I wouldn't usually I'm like I'm stupid. I probably am reacting wrong. And so I'd probably die myself while they react properly.

[Courtney Miller]

I have instances from my life that I can draw upon where I know that I make a very dumb sound. Well, I think I've told this story before but when I was a kid I was in Florida and I was hanging out in some mangroves behind my grandparents house and I heard this scratching sound and I turn and there was. And I'm not kidding, it's like. It's like half a foot long like or big rhinoceros beetle. And I mean it was gigantic. It was the size of a rat right next to me. And my, the noise, the noise that came out of my mouth was not. Ah. The noise that came out of my mouth was like. Cuz I don't know what to do. I'm trying to run and scream at the same time.

[Ian Hecox]

Have you seen that? You've seen that video of the. Of like the news anchor with like the, the lizard, the lizards on them? Yes.

[Courtney Miller]

That is very realistic because that is because your, your body is like. Your muscles are like spasming because you're trying to like dodge away from whatever while also putting out noise. So it's not going to be one fluid motion and one fluid sound. It's going to be like. It's gonna be all over it. Like that's what it is. It's so insane.

[Shane Topp]

Olivia, are you good? Yeah.

[Olivia Sui]

His story really just like shocked me and this whole setup got destroyed.

[Ian Hecox]

I didn't know a beetle could be so large. But I've heard like in Florida everything.

[Courtney Miller]

And I didn't know that they were native to Florida. So I was not expecting to see one of those. And I saw all sorts of shit in those in my grandparents backyard. And I would. But if I was expecting it, if I, if I saw like. I don't know, like I would see crazy stuff all the time. Like big fish or like crabs or even like lizards and stuff. But I, I wouldn't be shocked by that because I would expect it was not expecting this. So it threw me off.

[Olivia Sui]

Florida's crazy.

[Ian Hecox]

I don't think I could ever get used to that. Even if I grew up around that. If I saw, if I saw a beetle the size of a rat. I don't think that I'm. There's ever going to be a moment in my life where I'm ever Going to be just like, oh, yeah, there it is.

[Courtney Miller]

There's something awful about a bug so big that you can't swat it. You would have to punch it.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

And it would probably still survive. That's not fun.

[Ian Hecox]

That's. Imagine stepping on that thing.

[Courtney Miller]

You wouldn't. You would have to, like, stomp on it. And it would not be, like, easy.

[Shane Topp]

It'd be like. It would be like, maybe I got it.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. Though, I don't know. I didn't. I ran away.

[Ian Hecox]

I literally run really fast, and you.

[Courtney Miller]

Want to hear how crazy my family is? I ran away. I ran inside. I tell my grandma I just saw a rhinoceros beetle. It was insane. And she goes, well, why didn't you catch it? And I was like. Like, I ran back out to, like. And I got, like, a net because I was like, oh, that'd be so cool to catch that. And like, I never. I would catch things back in their backyards and then release them, but it was gone. It flown away, but it was terrifying.

[Ian Hecox]

Wait, they could fly?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Have you seen bugs Life?

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, they can fly.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, it's that guy.

[Shane Topp]

Okay, that's what I should watch.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. No, because. Yeah. Mind you, this same backyard was where I also tried to catch a gardener snake, and it bit me in the thumb.

[Shane Topp]

Like, I bite you, but those are fine there.

[Courtney Miller]

It was fine. And I knew it would be fine, but I still just stupidly tried to just grab a snake. I was like, seven, but it sounds.

[Shane Topp]

Like my older brother. Like, he was always catching snakes and lizards and then keeping them. Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

They're too fast.

[Ian Hecox]

Yikes.

[Shane Topp]

We had a different gardener snake in our garage every month. Like, in a tank.

[Olivia Sui]

What the hell, dude? I would flip out.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Olivia Sui]

I would throw up on the snake.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, that'd be effective.

[Olivia Sui]

Why?

[Shane Topp]

That's so mean. They'd be like, ah, because it's scary.

[Olivia Sui]

And that's like. My first instinct is that would probably.

[Courtney Miller]

Work with the shark.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Throw up on a shark, they'd be like, ew, tastes gross. And they leave.

[Courtney Miller]

This person tastes like vomit.

[Ian Hecox]

Well, wow. I wish I could see a manatee. Like, cows of the sea.

[Courtney Miller]

They're awesome. You can see them in Florida. Yeah, they're all over the place.

[Ian Hecox]

I'd like to do that. I want to see that. But then that would mean going to Florida and, like, having to risk interacting with Florida.

[Olivia Sui]

Man, Florida's a crazy place.

[Ian Hecox]

It is a crazy place. We'll leave that for another time.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. Tune in for Florida Cast next.

[Ian Hecox]

We should do a Florida cast. We shall tell our Florida stories about Florida man. All right.

[Olivia Sui]

I have Florida stories.

[Ian Hecox]

Well, great. Maybe we'll have to do a Florida stories episode.

[Olivia Sui]

Florida dude.

[Courtney Miller]

We'll call it the Florida Project.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, we should bring Tommy, because Tommy freaking grew up in Florida.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, cut that out, Kevin. You gotta cut that joke.

[Ian Hecox]

The Florida Project. What's so wrong about that? Because it's a decent movie.

[Courtney Miller]

It's a really dark movie that I ref.

[Olivia Sui]

Love that movie.

[Courtney Miller]

That's a great movie. I love that movie.

[Shane Topp]

We've said worse things.

[Courtney Miller]

I know.

[Ian Hecox]

All right, so. So little homework for our viewers and listeners. Go watch Florida Project. Come back.

[Shane Topp]

I love the idea. Florida Man.

[Courtney Miller]

Watch that movie. That movie's great.

[Shane Topp]

I'm gonna go watch A Bug's Life.

[Olivia Sui]

Guys. Also give me some suggestions for the. For my little puppy, Banana.

[Courtney Miller]

Teach it how to fight.

[Shane Topp]

That's a perfect name.

[Courtney Miller]

Teach it how to ride horseback.

[Shane Topp]

It's a great time for exercising yourself and him to take him on long walks. If you get training treats, if you are take. Do this a lot. Literally fill your pocket with treats. And when you're walking with Banana, make a little whatever sound you want to use to get that puppy's attention, whether it's their name or like a. Or like a sound, anything. Make that sound. And if they look at you, give them the treat and do it like every 10 seconds.

[Olivia Sui]

Can you take puppy on walks?

[Shane Topp]

You just don't want them to get in contact with other dogs, really. But taking them on, like, walks, like, is. It's not terrible for them. You don't want to go on extensive stuff or like, stairs. Too much for puppies is not good for their hips when they're so young.

[Courtney Miller]

Olivia, do you have anyone that you can contact with the foster age, like, who you got the dog from? I probably also talk to them because they might have guidelines that you have to follow.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. Because when they're at a certain age, it's definitely like, you want to minimize exposure to stuff because of vaccinations and things like that. But I know people that are anti vax for dogs, so I don't know what it is.

[Ian Hecox]

Well, that's real dumb. Thank you guys so much. Submit your Shoot dude to Shoot Dude.

[Shane Topp]

And that's ood.

[Ian Hecox]

Yep.

[Shane Topp]

We hope that this podcast has been entertaining.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. Tell us what you think. We want to hear your feedback. Give us 5 stars and rate right. Haha ha ha ha. Podcast.

[Olivia Sui]

Wait, can y'all write my. My. My pod too? I only have, like, three ratings.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, yeah. And if you guys want more content. Go listen to fish cheeks on your local listening apps, because that's a very good one. I love you guys.

[Olivia Sui]

I love you, you guys. See you on House Party.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, see you on House Party. Good luck with your puppy, Liv.

[Olivia Sui]

Thanks, guys.

[Ian Hecox]

All right. Bye. Bye.

[Ryan Hecox]

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[Courtney Miller]

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