S2: #62 - Quarantine Advice from Bros Like We

Summary

Podcast Summary: Smosh Mouth
Episode: Season 2, Episode #62 - Quarantine Advice from Bros Like We
Release Date: May 6, 2020
Hosts: Shayne Topp (Shane), Damien Lehan-Canto (Damien), and Ian Hecox

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Introduction

In this episode of Smosh Mouth, hosts Shane, Damien, and Ian dive into a variety of listener-submitted questions, offering advice and sharing personal experiences related to navigating life during quarantine. The discussion ranges from maintaining friendships and finding jobs to coping mechanisms and dating during challenging times.

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Addressing Listener Questions

1. How to Be Funny Without Offending During Quarantine

Listener: Llama Queen
Timestamp: [12:54]

Discussion:

• Shane emphasizes the importance of understanding and kindness in comedic endeavors, especially when dealing with sensitive topics like COVID-19.
• Damien adds that while creating humor around tough situations is inevitable, avoiding jokes about individuals who are victims is crucial.
• Ian suggests focusing on shared experiences rather than targeting specific tragedies to minimize the risk of offending others.

Notable Quote:
"If you are doing anything comedically, there is generally a risk involved in it that somebody somewhere might be offended by something." — Shane [00:46]

2. Navigating Job Search During a Pandemic

Listener: Curly Whirly
Timestamp: [17:15]

Discussion:

• Shane points out that the pandemic has put everyone in the same boat, reducing individual competition pressures traditionally associated with job hunting.
• Damien encourages listeners to separate their self-worth from their job status and remain patient, reminding them that a master's degree is a significant advantage.
• Ian highlights the role of luck and timing in securing employment, advising listeners to view their current challenges as temporary and to appreciate the safety net of having support at home.

Notable Quote:
"Finding a good job is based on luck and timing. There's no guarantee that you're going to jump out of college and find your dream job instantly." — Ian [00:55]

3. Creating a Comfortable Home Workspace

Listener: Hoohoo Beanie
Timestamp: [23:21]

Discussion:

• Shane advocates for designated workspaces separate from relaxation areas to maintain focus and productivity.
• Ian recommends setting clear boundaries between work and personal time, tackling the most challenging tasks early in the day to reduce overwhelm.
• Damien suggests breaking tasks into smaller, manageable pieces and utilizing productivity apps to minimize distractions, particularly from smartphones.

Notable Quote:
"I never do [work] on my bed. Because if I'm on my bed, that's when I can see my TV... I cannot relax at my desk anymore." — Shane [23:37]

4. Maintaining Friendships Without Relying on Texting

Listener: Friendship Concern
Timestamp: [27:48]

Discussion:

• Shane proposes using video calls or Zoom as alternatives to texting to foster more meaningful interactions.
• Ian emphasizes the importance of real-time communication methods like phone calls or FaceTime to maintain deeper connections.
• Damien encourages proactive daily outreach to friends, suggesting that even simple gestures like sending a message can help sustain relationships.

Notable Quote:
"I find it hard to have a real conversation with a group of people over text. It's just a pain in the ass." — Ian [28:08]

5. Dating During Quarantine and Finding a Partner

Listener: Local Lesb asks
Timestamp: [46:12]

Discussion:

• Damien warns against seeking relationships out of desperation, as it can lead to unhealthy dynamics where personal happiness is overly reliant on the relationship.
• Shane advises evaluating compatibility, especially in how individuals respond in crises, to ensure lasting connections.
• Ian stresses the importance of authenticity on dating platforms, cautioning against misrepresentation to avoid future conflicts or distrust.

Notable Quote:
"If you're saying, like, gosh, I'm really lonely. I really want to find someone to talk to because I'm just so lonely. That's not a good angle to come after it." — Ian [46:15]

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Community Engagement: Lightning Round

1. Healthy Coping Mechanisms

Listener: Kyle Durand
Timestamp: [57:18]

Responses:

• Damien: Journaling and venting emotions.
• Shane: Regular exercise and scheduling specific relaxation times.
• Ian: Mentions compartmentalizing but admits he may not have a specific mechanism.

Notable Quote:
"Journaling. Write down exactly how you feel about stuff. Vent it all out." — Damien [57:22]

2. Favorite Parts of Filming from Home

Listener: Tricks464
Timestamp: [57:38]

Responses:

• Damien: Setting his own schedule and being his own boss.
• Shane: Adds humor about being 'bottomless' all the time.
• Ian: Appreciates not having to commute and getting more sleep.

3. Childhood Dreams and How They Changed

Listener: Andy Hayes
Timestamp: [58:03]

Responses:

• Shane: Transitioned from aspiring to be a doctor, astronaut, and chef to becoming an actor after participating in school plays.
• Damien: Originally wanted to be a veterinarian until performing in a school play ignited his interest in acting.

Notable Quote:
"I wanted to be a veterinarian for all of my childhood until I did Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory in fifth grade and was like, oh, I'm actually really good at this." — Damien [58:14]

4. Small Pleasures During Quarantine

Listener: Drew Nichols
Timestamp: [59:25]

Responses:

• Shane: Enjoys playing video games while watching TV to keep his mind occupied.
• Damien: Loves fresh laundry and waking up a couple of hours before his alarm to enjoy extra sleep.
• Ian: Relishes driving through open wilderness roads early in the morning.

5. Creative Ways to Eat Peanut Butter

Listener: Finn Barrett
Timestamp: [60:35]

Responses:

• Damien: Dips Oreos into peanut butter.
• Shane: Suggests spreading it on bananas, apples, toast, celery, or using it in unconventional ways like adding it to ramen.

Notable Quote:
"If you're not dipping Oreos into your peanut butter, you've not figured out the code." — Damien [60:35]

6. Toilet Paper Debate: Over vs Under

Listener: Helena, Elena, XO
Timestamp: [42:22]

Discussion:

• Hosts engage in a playful yet spirited debate about the correct orientation of toilet paper.
• Shane staunchly supports the 'over' method, while Damien remains neutral but shares practical reasons for both sides.

Notable Quote:
"There's nothing wrong with it going under, I don't think there's anything wrong with it." — Damien [42:53]

7. Dating Preferences: Height Differences

Listener: Click by Soul
Timestamp: [62:26]

Discussion:

• Hosts discuss their openness to dating someone taller, emphasizing personal compatibility over societal expectations.
• Damien shares his experience without any preference issues, while Ian is open but acknowledges practical considerations.
• Shane expresses no particular concerns, focusing on genuine connections.

Notable Quote:
"I don't have a type. The same. But you? You bet. Ian, you're saying you would date someone taller than you?" — Damien [63:22]

8. What Are Boys Thinking?

Listener: Carl Sella
Timestamp: [64:59]

Responses:

• Shane: Jokes that women are a major preoccupation.
• Damien: Mentions thoughts about the game Animal Crossing.
• Ian: Shares random thoughts about gaming preferences.

---

Listener Stories: 'Shoot' Segment

Story:

A listener named Zach recounts an incident from childhood involving a tarantula.

Timestamp: [69:21]

Narrative:
At 11 years old, Zach encounters a large spider while playing soccer at his friend Danny's house. Being arachnophobic, he impulsively kicks the spider into the garden without informing Danny. Days later, Danny expresses regret over his missing pet tarantula, Timmy. Zach admits to the act years later during his best man speech, with Danny finding the revelation amusing.

Host Reactions:

• Damien: Questions the plausibility and ethics of Zach's actions, highlighting the immediate consequences of his fears.
• Shane: Skeptically analyzes the story's details, suggesting it might be fabricated or exaggerated.
• Ian: Considers the psychological aspects of Zach's reaction, pondering guilt and honesty.

Notable Quote:
"He'd be the only person I think, in the world that is completely neutral on this. But I'm passionate." — Damien [42:53]

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Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, the hosts reiterate the importance of staying connected, being honest in relationships, and maintaining healthy routines during quarantine. They encourage listeners to reach out to friends and loved ones, emphasizing resilience and adaptability in the face of unprecedented challenges.

Final Message:
"We hope that you're staying safe and reach out to your friend, tell them that you love them, and we'll see you next time." — Ian [77:08]

---

Notable Quotes Throughout the Episode

• "Finding a good job is based on luck and timing." — Ian [00:55]
• "If you are doing anything comedically, there is generally a risk involved in it that somebody somewhere might be offended by something." — Shane [00:46]
• "Journaling. Write down exactly how you feel about stuff. Vent it all out." — Damien [57:22]
• "If you're not dipping Oreos into your peanut butter, you've not figured out the code." — Damien [60:35]
• "There's nothing wrong with it going under, I don't think there's anything wrong with it." — Damien [42:53]

---

This episode of Smosh Mouth serves as a comprehensive guide for listeners seeking advice on managing personal and professional aspects of life during quarantine. Through relatable discussions and humorous takes, Shane, Damien, and Ian provide valuable insights while maintaining the lighthearted spirit characteristic of the Smosh brand.

Transcript

[Ryan]

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[Damien]

Com. No purchase necessary. VGW Group voidware prohibited by law. 21 plus terms and conditions apply. Ramble. You've been with someone for a year, which is a long enough time that if something's not feeling right, maybe first try to do something to see if there's a way to fix the situation.

[Shane]

If you are doing anything comedically, there is generally a risk involved in it that somebody somewhere might be offended by something.

[Ian]

Finding a good job is based on luck and timing. There's no guarantee that you're going to jump out of college and find your dream job instantly.

[Shane]

I've been watching game Grumps again lately. Apparently on YouTube, like, they're sort of pushing videos down that specifically say, like, quarantine and COVID 19. So they're referring to it as the Backstreet Boys reunion tour.

[Damien]

And so, yeah, then I had, I had applesauce all up and down my walls. Oh no, it's still there. But the bees. I mean, there's more bees than I was expecting. No, it's really bad. Yeah, but at the end of the day, I'm glad I had Gilbert Gottfried over.

[Shane]

That's true. Because he was like, thanks for having me over, Shane. Yeah, I like that you and your boys have red, white and blue hats, making it the most American French hat display I've ever seen.

[Damien]

Thank you.

[Ian]

Hey, do you remember that time when I made that tsunami joke?

[Shane]

Oh, God.

[Ian]

I got canceled before anyone else ever got canceled on the Internet.

[Shane]

I do remember that. Gilbert Gottfried.

[Damien]

I don't recall this. I do not recall this.

[Shane]

He did.

[Ian]

I decided to make a joke about.

[Shane]

The 2005 tsunami, like minutes after it happened.

[Ian]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane]

It was like it was way sooner than too soon.

[Damien]

It's. It was tough to get canceled back in 2005. Like it was.

[Ian]

Yeah, it was. It was a new frontier start.

[Shane]

We're starting here.

[Damien]

Sorry.

[Shane]

No, it's okay. Sorry. I'm like.

[Ian]

One of the PR changes that I remembered that happened after the 2005 tsunami was Jamba Juice had a, A, a smoothie that was Called Strawberry Tsunami. And then when the 2005 tsunami happened, they changed the name to Strawberry Surf Rider.

[Shane]

Oh, I've had a Strawberry Surf Rider. That makes sense.

[Ian]

He used to be called Strawberry Tsunami. And they're like, you know, we probably shouldn't have name of a thing that kills people.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ian]

Yeah. Well, anyway.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Ian]

Hello.

[Damien]

We.

[Shane]

Right now is the real start.

[Damien]

And now we're starting.

[Shane]

Hi, boys. We're in our red, white blue hats.

[Damien]

Oh, hey, look at us.

[Ian]

Welcome. Oh, my gosh. We are all hat boys.

[Shane]

Because we're hat boys.

[Ian]

Yeah, but I'm a forward hat boy.

[Shane]

I'm a backwards hat boy.

[Damien]

Backwards hat boy. For those of you just listening, Damien and I have backwards hats. Ian has a frontwards hats. It's. It's kind of like Westwards West. West side. Westward Story.

[Shane]

Oh, Westworld season three on HBO Story. Oh, off to a roaring stone.

[Ian]

Did y'all know that Kid Cudi was. Is in the new Westworld?

[Shane]

I heard, because. Was it Brittany Broski that just did.

[Damien]

A story about it, or he's Anthony Hopkins?

[Ian]

Courtney mentioned it.

[Shane]

Somebody. Oh, yeah, Courtney mentioned it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ian]

What the hell?

[Shane]

She's not Brittany Broski.

[Ian]

What happened to Kid Cudi? I feel like he had that, like, super popular album, and then I think.

[Damien]

He chose to step away.

[Ian]

Really?

[Damien]

I think so. He got so huge.

[Ian]

Kevin's like, can't.

[Shane]

Kevin's like, nope, can't. I know. I feel like we're breaking all our own rules in the first, like, two minutes of this podcast, but that's okay. We're renegades.

[Ian]

If I do out of tune and I don't do lyrics.

[Damien]

No, that's.

[Shane]

Kevin, can you get to work on that?

[Damien]

That's a different Kid Cudi song.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Kevin, could you go ahead and auto tune specific parts of this whole podcast and just make it sound good, like we're singing.

[Damien]

Kevin, go ahead and create a new Kid Cudi song.

[Shane]

Kevin, could you find and bring Kid Cudi to me?

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Thank you.

[Ian]

I have depression. Depression.

[Shane]

Speaking of depression, Kid Cuddy.

[Ian]

Kid Cuddy.

[Damien]

Hell yeah, dude.

[Shane]

Amazing.

[Damien]

Hell yeah.

[Shane]

You did it.

[Ian]

All right, thanks. Great.

[Damien]

And now is the start of the podcast. The actual start of the podcast we are beginning. We have not been recording for 25 minutes.

[Shane]

Nope.

[Ian]

Haven't been. Just saying. Just loads of offensive. Just. Just everything that could possibly get us canceled.

[Shane]

Don't stop making canceled jokes right now.

[Damien]

Ian has been making cancelable jokes. Damien and I have been listening in horror. We've been talking to do everything to stop him.

[Ian]

We talked about how the. The burning of the. Of the Library of Alexandria was a good thing.

[Damien]

You said, you know.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Damien]

That's your bio on Twitter.

[Ian]

That the Library of Alexandria burning was a good thing.

[Damien]

Yeah, that's what you say.

[Ian]

Hello, everyone. Welcome to another smoshkast Advice.

[Damien]

Because we know you want advice from.

[Shane]

Us, the boys like we.

[Ian]

The boys, the bros like we.

[Shane]

There we go. That's right. Bros like. Yeah, I forgot Brittany.

[Damien]

Bros like we.

[Shane]

Whoa. She's gonna sue the hell out of us.

[Ian]

You know, we decided to bring the boys together to answer questions that only men can answer.

[Damien]

I mean, not really, but, you know.

[Ian]

No, let's be real. These are questions. No, no, Mere. Never mind. I'm not going to.

[Shane]

God, it is such a mind.

[Damien]

Ian, what did you eat for breakfast?

[Shane]

Yeah, you're in it. You're in a mood, but just.

[Ian]

Ben Shapiro.

[Damien]

Ben Shapiro.

[Ian]

All right, we can't use any of this.

[Damien]

No, we're starting. And now is the start of the podcast. And Ian didn't say anything offensive again.

[Ian]

Hello, cool cats and kittens. Hello. So let's just kick it off. Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah. So what. Here's what we're doing today, right? We're.

[Ian]

Yeah. So we asked you guys for. For advice for bros like we.

[Shane]

Mm.

[Ian]

And. And we're just gonna jump right into it.

[Shane]

You got it, Philly D. Jump, Radiance. Jump right in and let's just jump right into it. But before I get started today, I want to thank Raid Shadow Legends for sponsoring this video. It's the only video game we can pull. Six to eight heroes a day, some of them epic rarity, and then, blah, blah, blah. Appreciate you bringing us. First news today comes to us from Georgia, where a thousand people exploded.

[Damien]

Mount.

[Ian]

Did. Did he also do a Raid Shadow Legends?

[Shane]

Everybody has.

[Ian]

We haven't.

[Shane]

Well, though. Well, here we're. Wait, no, because we're advertising a different mobile game right now. A better game.

[Ian]

Better one.

[Shane]

Better.

[Damien]

A much better game.

[Ian]

Yeah. So get. For you, Raid Shadow Legends, if you feel like advertising us. I resend my. My get statement. Can't use that.

[Shane]

All right. I actually played that game for a minute. It was fun.

[Ian]

Don't say that until we get paid, though.

[Shane]

That's right. No, now they owe me money. That's. That's why.

[Ian]

Oh, is that how it works? Sponsorship works?

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ian]

I like when influencers, like, do, like, a sponsored content thing, but they didn't get paid for it. There's definitely influencers that make sponsored content that they didn't get paid. For, like, they're like, oh, my gosh. Using my new hashtag, L'Oreal hashtag cream.

[Damien]

You think, like, they got. They got. Sent it for free, so they're doing it just out of.

[Ian]

Maybe not even that. Not always trying to look like they're just trying.

[Damien]

Oh, they're trying to make it look.

[Ian]

Like they're trying to look like they're success. Like, they're a successful influencer that gets.

[Shane]

I don't know if it's.

[Damien]

It's like a.

[Shane]

Just about that. I think it's also about, like, making the brand aware of you. Like, if you're getting traction on a post, you're like, hey, I love this L'Oreal shampoo. And then they see that. They're like, hey, how would you like to do this thing properly? Like, I've had friends do stuff like that.

[Ian]

But what's the. But that reasoning seems kind of silly because it's like, why would somebody pay you to do something if you're already doing it for free?

[Shane]

So you get on their radar. Like, it's the same kind of deal where, like, I don't know, like, if they don't know you exist, then you're not. They're not just gonna hit you up one day. And it's also insane for you to have, like, no content that's relatable to that specific brand and then go to that brand and be like, hey, L'Oreal shampoo. Can I have a bunch of money to post on you? And they'll just be like, no, we're not advertising right now. Who are you? Like, I don't know. I think if you cozy up to a brand, it's possible. It's not something I generally would do, but I just. I don't think it's necessarily flex.

[Damien]

I've been trying to do that for a while. Dole won't give me a brand.

[Shane]

I know.

[Damien]

It's so many goddamn bananas.

[Ian]

And they got to go after a chiquita banana. They're the. They're the ones that understand the Internet, man. You can't go after Dole. You have to go after the other banana. Monopoly.

[Shane]

Are you trying to get a Michelin sponsorship? For those of you at home listening, Ian has a Michelin cap and did not get paid to wear it.

[Ian]

I'm just trying. This is a Bros like we podcast. I was trying to be as manly as possible, so I wore my manliest. My manliest hat.

[Damien]

So you wore a hat with a guy who's made out of sperm to like, represent.

[Ian]

Made out of. He's made out of rubber tires.

[Shane]

That's basically testosterone.

[Ian]

Basically.

[Shane]

No, no. The Michelin man is actually a ghost. I always thought the.

[Ian]

The original Michelin man is frightening. Yeah, like, absolutely frightening.

[Shane]

Most old mascots are.

[Ian]

He has, like, a really. A really silly French name. Michelin man name. I just have to know.

[Shane]

Michelin Marquis.

[Ian]

It's like, Bim. Bim. No, Bibendum. His name is Bim bin Bibindum. And there's this old poster of him, and he's, like, eating, like, nuts and bolts.

[Shane]

I mean, so he's like a monster. He's like a monster that raids your tool shed. And in the middle of the night, you hear some rustling around, and he just turns around.

[Damien]

Like, that's just the Iron Giant.

[Shane]

Yeah. Be good.

[Ian]

He's got. He's sitting at a dinner table. He has a cigar in one hand.

[Shane]

What?

[Ian]

And he has, like, a martini glass with, like, a horseshoe.

[Shane]

That's like, the 90s were a different time.

[Ian]

Yeah. The 1890s.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ian]

Crazy.

[Shane]

Let's give some advice.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Ian]

Sorry.

[Shane]

No, it's okay.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Our first question asks, what does the Michelin man look like in his worst form?

[Damien]

God damn it.

[Shane]

Peter from Arkansas.

[Damien]

All the questions are about the Michelin Man.

[Shane]

Yeah. I was wondering if. Is he, like, poppable or, like, is there just, like, bone underneath all those tires?

[Ian]

It's all just bones.

[Shane]

It like.

[Damien]

Hey, guys. Hey, guys. Big fan of the. Big fan of the cast. Yeah. So I've been seeing my ex for a while. You know, I've been having trouble with her. And what's the Michelin Man's deal?

[Ian]

Yeah. Is he mostly made up of intestine, like a koala?

[Shane]

Yes.

[Ian]

That was the creepiest fact that we. That we learned.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ian]

In Australia. That they're like. Oh, yeah. You'd think that koalas are, like, fat because they look. They look kind of fat. Like they got a lot of fat on them, but they actually have very little body fat on them. It's mostly their digestive system.

[Shane]

They don't even have a brain. It's just more intestines. Dumb old, thick skull.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Skull is 98% bone, but the bone is 48% tummy. Tummy meat. So who Australia be?

[Ian]

So the first question comes from Llama queen. Yes. Hi, Llama Queen. They ask for a school project. I'm doing a funny video about the COVID situation. How can I be funny without risking to offend people?

[Damien]

You are risking to offend people by doing a sketch on it. I mean, you're risking it. I'm not saying you're going to offend anyone. You're risking it because you are making a joke. You're making a sketch around a very tough thing going on. So it's inevitable that someone might be offended.

[Ian]

I think.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ian]

I think with any situation like this, what you want to do is, is avoid making the joke about victims. You want to. You want to appeal to everyone's experience during the COVID situation. So making a joke about how we all have to quarantine is. Is a good route to go down. You don't want to make a joke about somebody that's sick. Yeah, like, because that's.

[Damien]

That's maybe. Yeah. Punching down. And that's also.

[Shane]

Yeah, that's a. That's a good point. For anything. If you are doing anything comedically, there is generally a risk involved in it that somebody somewhere might be offended by something. So what you need to do for yourself is to come at it from the most understanding and polite way possible. Like they said, don't punch down at the victims. Make fun of the situation. Like, look at. We just did a few sketches about quarantine, but I don't think we had a single sick person in any of the sketches. It's not about that. It's about the shared experience. And if you know, in your. In your best efforts, somebody still gets upset, you know, that's. That's a tricky situation. You'll have to deal with it then. But if you're doing the best you can beforehand to be understanding and kind, that should be okay.

[Damien]

I think what Ian said is, you know, with our sketches and everything, it's Covid adjacent. It's not, you know, we're. We're making fun of things that are a result of the situation. We're not making fun of the situation. Like, and make it about yourself. Like, make a. Make a sketch about your experience quarantining and something dumb there. You know, like, if you make a sketch about running out of toilet paper and what you're doing to replace toilet paper, that's. That has to do with the, you know, situation. That is a result of what's going on this year. It's not making fun of the thing itself. I think that's the only real route you can go. You can't make a sketch about COVID Yeah.

[Ian]

I mean, you could. You could toe the. I mean, I would say you could toe the line if you went, like, the. The sort of, like, always sunny route where it's like, You're. You're making fun of the ignorance of people that are doing the wrong thing.

[Damien]

But I think because it's for school, you got to be a little bit more careful.

[Shane]

Yeah, right.

[Ian]

Yeah, But I think. I think it's. Yeah, it's. You just. Just avoid. Avoid making jokes about. About the victims. And.

[Shane]

Yeah, you're good. And I think the difficulty there, too, is, like, what you're saying, Ian, is totally a valid point, but people don't always pick up that you're making fun of a character. Like, this character is a bad person. This character is ignorant, and that's the joke. But some people will just take that value and be like, I can't believe you said that. And you're like, well, I'm making fun of the person. They're like, no, you wrote the person. And so it's like, ah, it's a gray area.

[Damien]

People don't pick up on sarcasm. So if, you know, I've had tweets or whatever where I am making fun of an offensive person, and people just do not pick up on that. So they think that I am making an offensive joke when I'm making fun of someone who's offensive.

[Shane]

Right.

[Damien]

It's kind of like if you did a Ben Shapiro impression and people didn't know who Ben Shapiro was, they'd be going, why are you saying that awful stuff? It's like, no, I'm making fun of someone.

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah.

[Damien]

Who says awful, awful stuff.

[Ian]

Well, that's the whole thing. That's the whole thing with Always Sunny. Like, there's a lot of people that watch that show for the wrong reasons. It's the same thing. Like people that idolize Rick from Rick and Morty.

[Shane]

Right.

[Ian]

It's like, no, he's a bad person. Yeah, that's the point. It's pointing out the ignorance of, you know, a bad person.

[Shane]

Exactly.

[Ian]

Not everyone. Not everyone gets that.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Ian]

And. And you just gotta kind of. I don't know, like, I hope that people do if you want to go.

[Shane]

Down that route, but good luck.

[Ian]

Not queen. Not everyone's. Not everyone's that big brain. So. Next one. This is a Curly Whirly. Nice name. They said, I'm about to graduate with my master's in one of the worst job economies in history. I'm defeated that after all this work, I have to go move back in with my dad. I'm not sure when people will be hiring again. Any advice on how to stay positive or find a job?

[Shane]

I've got a thought on this one. We're in a very unique situation right now where pretty much the whole world is in the same, at least grand scheme of things boat. So, you know, obviously it'd be one thing where if everybody's getting a job left and right and now you have to move back in with your parents, it would be very disheartening. I understand that. Even then it would be fine, but it would be disheartening. But right now, it's not like everybody has a leg up on you. Everybody else is getting hired right now too. Anybody who's in your boat who you will be competing against to find a job in a normal situation, you're going to be competing against them in maybe a couple months when this dies down. They didn't, they didn't beat you. You're not the only one stuck.

[Damien]

You know, I think that's a good point. You're not. Yeah. Knowing that you're not alone is. Is a good one. I think also a big one is, you know, a lot of us, especially if you were going to college and everything, you put your worth on finding a job. But.

[Shane]

Right.

[Damien]

A job is. And I know this is. I know it's impossible to not be stressed and not feel down when you're, when you don't have a job and you're probably in debt from your degrees, but that isn't your whole worth. And there is more to life than that. And I think the way you get through this phase, because if you keep trying, you keep putting yourself out there, you keep submitting for jobs, you keep searching for jobs. It may take time. Like, it may take. It may take years. And like, you just have to like, be patient with that and find worth in other things and, and know that just because you're not super successful right now doesn't mean you won't be eventually and doesn't mean life is hopeless right now.

[Ian]

So also, like, finding a good job is. So much of that is. Is based on luck and timing. Like, you're not going to. There's no guarantee that you're going to jump out of college and find your dream job instantly. Like, I think about that sometimes too with, with Smosh. With some of like the really great people that we have working with us, I'm like, they just happen to be on the market for a job. When we were looking for somebody to fill that position. Like, how rare is that, that you're. That the perfect person is going to be looking for the job at the exact moment that you need to fill that position. So I think it sucks to have to move back in with your parents. But also it's. It's a fortunate position to be able to have that fallback, to be able to. To have, you know, a roof over your head for that, for the time being. And, yeah, it's. It's so much about luck and timing. Like, it might take some time, but, I mean, you got a master's. That's. That's definitely a leg up on other people. I don't know what the. I don't know what the degree is.

[Damien]

I know. I know it can sometimes make it tougher because jobs don't want to hire someone with the masters and have to pay them more, as opposed to hiring multiple people with less and pay them less. But I would also say don't be afraid. You probably, as someone with a master's, you probably have a very. You have a vision of what you want, where you want to work and what you want to do, especially in this time, keep your horizons open. And other jobs that you may not have never thought that you'd want to do or see yourself in might come about and you might find yourself in a career a few years down the line where you're like, I never would have thought I'd be working in this totally. But you could be. That happens all the time. People have masters in one type of major, but they end up working in a complete. There was a Twitter thread recently where it was like, what's your degree in? What you. What do you work in? And people had so many where they were in a completely different. Someone was like, I have a degree in biochemistry and I'm a comic book writer or something like that. Like, just stuff like that happens.

[Shane]

And flipping Ashton Kutcher was like molecular biology or something like that. And then was like, I'm gonna do. I'm gonna be an underwear model. And then, yeah, that's where his stuff.

[Damien]

But he was also hot, so.

[Shane]

Yeah, so all you have to do is be born so hot.

[Damien]

Just be like, ash, so hot.

[Shane]

And then you're.

[Ian]

It's really the key to life, just. But I think look hot.

[Damien]

I think there is something to, like, really keeping your mind open and, like, just patience, man. Like, Damien's right. It's brutal for everyone. And it. You know.

[Shane]

But Shane made a great point, like, between working on so Random and then starting on Smosh, I had so many different jobs, and every single one of them, I was like, oh, I can actually see how I can move forward in this and be happy, like. And they all just sort of led me to where I am today. Not directly, certainly not a direct path. Working customer service and then spending time with my buddies later in online gaming built that relationship. And then one of those buddies got me that leather crafting job and I learned how to do that. And then the person that hired me for the leather crafting job got me into working sound for 3D cameras. And then when that happened, I was more like available to do like a VR voice acting based job because they knew I was doing that. Like, and then, you know, I'm back here because of stuff I, you know, connections I made from so random days. So, like, it's all a path, but it's certainly not a straight line. And I think that'll take pressure off you because even if you're just moving slightly to the left and up a little bit, you've still got some forward movement. And then eventually you'll get to where you want.

[Damien]

And it's also okay if you put in a bunch of effort into something and it ends up not going anywhere. The point is to just be putting in effort because that's fulfilling for yourself. It's tough. And it's okay to acknowledge that it's brutal and it's. It is tough to be motivated. You're not going to be motivated every day, but you just keep going. Okay, I'm going to keep working towards a goal, but I'm going to put in my effort everywhere. And if opportunities arise, I'm going to put in as much effort as I can into those and just keep going.

[Ryan]

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[Damien]

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[Ian]

All right, let's move on to this next one. This one comes from Hoohoo Beanie, which you can get at Smosh Store.

[Damien]

Nice.

[Ian]

This person asks, how do you create a workspace at home that you feel comfortable working in? I find myself getting distracted too often by the smallest things. And because of that, I Find it hard to focus.

[Shane]

I've got a thought on this, if that's cool. As an introverted person, that's why we.

[Ian]

Brought you on this podcast.

[Shane]

Thank you so much. As an introverted person that used to work from home while I was doing customer service, and so I'm pretty used to that. You have to have designated spaces for different things, even if it's not a different room. Like, I spend most of my time in this small room, but if I'm working, even if I have a laptop and I'm able to be mobile, I never do it on my bed. Not once. Because if I'm on my bed, that's when I can see my tv. All my video game controllers are there. That's when I start to get distracted. That's when I relax. That's when I pick up the phone and look at it. If I am at my desk, I am either doing work for Smosh and writing or Twitch streaming or whatever, or voice acting, but this is work. I can't relax here anymore. Maybe when quarantine is over, but I cannot relax at my desk. That's what's been helping me a lot.

[Ian]

I mean, because when you're working at home, you never feel like you're on the clock or off the clock. So set times in the day that you're not working and times of the day that you are working. And I think also when you're finding it hard to be motivated to work, try doing the hardest tasks at the beginning of the day. Get that stuff done first, and then it's less daunting to get something done because, like, we've. We've. We've had shoots where I just find it. So, like, now that we're shooting at home, I find it so hard to. To. To shoot sometimes because the task just seems so daunting. I'm like, oh, my gosh. Like, I have so many scenes to shoot and, like, costume changes and angles and, like, all this stuff, and. And I find it hard to just. To just put that foot forward to get started. Yeah, it's a lot easier to motivate yourself later on in the day if it's an easier thing to do.

[Damien]

I'd agree with that, definitely. I also, I think breaking things up and looking at it task by task, like, as. As much as you can put it into pieces as opposed to looking at, oh, I've got to do all of this today. I've got to do it. Like, for us, it's like, oh, I got to do a whole shoot. Today going, no, I'll do this scene. I got this scene. I'll split that. That scene consists of these two different shots. So I'm breaking up into piece by piece. So I know like, I'm just focused on that. I'm focused on something that is very doable in that moment as opposed to shoot this whole sketch that seems impossible. And then also there's, I know there's a lot of apps and stuff on the phone that like, it'll be like a timer. And while that timer's up, if you go out of the app, it, it like stops or whatever. So it's kind of like a commitment thing of like, hey, this forces you to essentially be off your phone for however much time you set on it. And stuff like that can be really good because the phone is the easiest thing to distract you totally. So if you, if you eliminate that and you see that timer, you know, like, okay, in that space, I, I just got to work. I'll work in that time limit. Once that's up, I'll give myself a 15 minute break.

[Shane]

I think that's a big one, Shane, because I think at least for myself, I have a really hard time relaxing because of the stuff that you said, Ian, where it's like, I, you know, there's no on the clock or off the clock. I'll still be waiting around at 8pm when I should be relaxing, thinking like, is there something else I can do? And I think it's because I haven't fully designated the time for work or for play. Because you get on your phone because you're like, ah, there's no way, you know, I'm going to be relaxing right now. I just have to have one more minute with my phone. Take 15 minutes of work and then you've earned yourself 15 minutes of phone time. And when you actually schedule in the fun stuff too, that is as important as the work. You don't ignore either. You don't blur the lines. You can have it be their own things that you have to do. You have to relax for 15. Yeah.

[Damien]

And be, be present with your work. Like put your, put all of yourself. The more you put yourself into that work, the more relaxed you're going to feel later. It's kind of like when, if you work out, working out harder just lets you relax more once you're done and you feel better because you feel you really gave it your all and you've got it all done.

[Ian]

This question also comes from Hoo hoo beanie, which you could still get at Smosh store. It's a friendship related question. They said. During this quarantine I found myself distancing myself from my friends because I don't like texting. Any tips on how to avoid becoming a hermit?

[Shane]

This is an example of like you just sort of got to do it. Like maybe you can invite your friends to a zoom call if that's easier than texting. But like I get not wanting to rely on text, but right now the circumstances of the world are pretty different. So like it's either do you want to stay in contact with your friends or do you want to not text? That's kind of the.

[Ian]

Yeah, I mean like just find a different way of staying in contact with them other than texting. Because texting is, is like we all just became so used to that being the main form of communication because it's quote unquote easy. But holy shit, it's so much easier to have a conversation over the phone or over FaceTime. It's so much easier and you can focus on the person. You can actually have a real conversation rather than send one thing and then answer back 30 minutes later. You can't have like a real conversation with a group of people over text. Like it's just a pain in the ass.

[Shane]

And you lose, you lose nuance in text too. You read it, you're like, how could they be so mean about that? And they're like, no, I was being sarcastic, you know.

[Ian]

Yeah, for sure.

[Damien]

So there's anything necessarily. I think you can do both, I think. But I think it's a matter of. Very similar to our previous question. It's a matter of just like setting up like knowing every day that you're going to reach out to someone. Like just. And maybe it is texting. That's something. But to just make sure you're always. And I think that's good even outside of quarantine because I think it's very easy to lose track of some people. You know, Like I think just to always be like, okay, I'm going to reach out to this person and say that. Even if I'm just saying I'm thinking about them.

[Ian]

Let's jump into some quarantine related questions.

[Shane]

Oh, fun.

[Ian]

This one.

[Shane]

Have you guys. Sorry, random thing. I've been watching Game Grumps again lately because I've had so much more time. The funniest thing is apparently on YouTube, like they're sort of pushing videos down that specifically say like quarantine and COVID 19. Like it's sort of a listened thing like, like any cursing would be. So they're referring to it as the Backstreet Boys reunion tour. So they keep saying like, they're like, yeah, I didn't want to go to the beach because people could be giving away tickets to the tour. And you didn't even try to go, but all of a sudden you're there.

[Damien]

So funny. God, that's funny.

[Shane]

Sorry.

[Damien]

So I love.

[Shane]

With our own.

[Ian]

I don't know if the algorithm picks up people mentioning Covid.

[Shane]

And all I know is they. They were just falling.

[Damien]

But I understand the paranoia around it. And why do that for sure?

[Shane]

God, that's so funny though. Sorry, I just had that.

[Damien]

That's genius.

[Ian]

No, I love this.

[Damien]

I love them.

[Ian]

Gotta love the game Grumps Danny.

[Shane]

They're my favorite. Oh, and actually that leads into this. This question, right?

[Ian]

Actually said how to. Wait, does it. Yeah, for me, this comes from accordingly. 69. Nice yaddy. They said how to maintain your sanity while living alone. Please and thank you.

[Shane]

The reason that I've answered first for all these questions. So I'm sorry, but the reason that bleeds into what I was talking about with the game Grumps was when I lived alone, I was like, I lived alone from ages like 20 to 22, 23. I had my own little bachelor pad in Mid City la and back when property values were so much lower and I could actually have a one bedroom for way less than it should have been. Very lucky. Good position. But I would go days without talking to people because I would just be in my place playing video games. Like, I don't need to go to the store, I don't need to do anything. But what really helped me was having a routine. And at that time, that was when the game Grumps first started and they uploaded twice a day, once at 10am, once at 2pm and those were very specifically the times I looked forward to most in the day. So be like, oh, I have to get my work done. So I have to, you know, so I can be ready for the video upload. Obviously that's not going to be the case for everybody, but having a routine is incredibly important and making yourself stick to it. You are the only one who is responsible for yourself when living alone. So have some discipline. Let yourself be like, no, I can't have sweets before this hour of the day. No, I can't watch TV until work gets done. Like, you have to have a second mind sort of overcoming all sort of distractions that you have in front of you. And it helps to write that down in a routine. Word vomit. There we go.

[Damien]

I think that's good. I think. I think I relate to that in a lot of ways. There's silver linings, you know, to living alone, which is one is that, like, you're in full control of like, your living space and like, yeah, your day. So it is easier in some ways to be productive. I think it's. I think living alone has helped me a lot with. With fitness. Like, I know everything is ready at home. I got everything set up, whatever, go to the gym. But even living alone now, like, I'm like, I can work out in the middle of my living space at any time. I'm not disrupting anybody else's time. And then, I don't know. For me, it's before all of this, like, I would go hang out with people, I would go to work. You know, living alone when I didn't have a job was really tough for me, I will say, because I had so much time by myself and being able to. When I'm going to an office and I'm working all day and I'm around people all day, it's very nice to come back to my own space. I love that. And same if I go to. Out to a party or a bar and I'm hanging out with people, it's nice to come back to my own space at the end of the night and then wake up and just. It just be me. And I'm like, just worried about myself. But I think also, like one of the previous questions, you got to also make sure you're reaching out to people all the time. You got to be active about your. So like, make it a routine of like, okay, I'm going to hit people up every day, call them, text them, whatever, just. Just to keep that going.

[Ian]

As. As good as you think you might be dealing with living alone right now, like, try to be aware of, like, when you're struggling during this and reach out to a friend.

[Damien]

Yeah, I think that's.

[Ian]

I think that's probably the most important thing because, like, for me, for me, like, I always. I always like, compartmentalize things and like, just kind of like, nah, I'm good. I can deal with it. But it definitely does help, like, talking with friends, especially through this kind of stuff.

[Shane]

This might be too deep, so maybe ignore it. But, you know, you're saying it's good to talk through things like that as a friend of yours. Sometimes I feel like there are walls up, like when I want to talk about something more serious or check in that you're okay. Like you said, you're good at sort of fronting. Like. No, it's fine. Hey, it's how it goes. So as a friend, how would you. Is it just a timing thing for you where like, sometimes you're ready to talk and sometimes you won't? Do you care if I like, push a little bit? Because there have been things recently where I wanted to like, check up on you, but I got sort of like a. Like I'm still man. So I don't know, is it. Is it on me as your friend to like, go further or do I wait for you to reach out or if this is too deep, ignore it.

[Ian]

But no, I mean, like, I also don't think that I'm the best at like, recognizing when, you know, I need like, help or not. Not so much like help, but just like, I'm very much like, I. Maybe it's like I don't want to burden people or, or I just don't want to be bothered to, to like, talk about it. I'm not. I'm not completely certain, but I do, But I do think it's like, it's definitely good to, to talk to people. It's. It's good to just. Even if it's not about like anything in particular, just, just being able to, to unload whatever's going on in your brain is, is a healthy thing.

[Shane]

Sure.

[Ian]

Okay. Typically dealing with, with anything in particular that's, that's, you know, that I see as a. As a problem. Hello?

[Ryan]

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[Damien]

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[Ian]

So let's see. Let's move on to the next one. Dabol 1014 and this is actually a question Shane, you were sort of touching on already. What's a good at home workout routine for someone without a lot of weights?

[Damien]

Oh shit.

[Shane]

Do it, son.

[Damien]

I've been getting a lot of messages from people asking me my workout routine. During all this, I do have a couple pairs of dumbbells. So that is obviously if you don't have them, that, that makes things a little more difficult. Honestly. Like I for one, I mean if, if there is a park or somewhere where you can jog a safe distance from everyone, that's great. I mean jogging is, is just so healthy for you. If you don't have that, if you have a jump rope, that's awesome too. For me, I mean honestly, I've been doing a lot of body weight exercises. I do just a ton of push ups. I mean on, on those days I have a pull up bar. If you don't have that back exercises are really tough to figure out. But you know, so with stuff like push ups, if you're doing push ups and bicycles and, and, and sit ups and then you're doing stuff like squats, jump. Squats are amazing. You just literally jumping up in the air as much times as a row. Lunge switchbacks, where you kind of have your, you're like down in a lunge type of situation and you just switch your legs back and forth. You and just, you know, Google like look up like great bodyweight exercises for every muscle group and there's tons.

[Shane]

So body weight exercises would be the term. Is that hearing that makes me go like, oh, holy crap. Yeah, that's what I would google.

[Damien]

Yeah. Because you're just using your body weight. You don't have anything else. Stuff like yoga is even great. I mean there is so much stuff you can do and, and yes, you're not able to gain a lot of mass of like lifting heavyweight, but you do a bunch of reps. I mean you work out hard, push yourself for an hour. A lot of those like, you know, high interval training classes that people pay a lot of money to go to, a lot of them don't incorporate that many weights. Like it's just body weight exercise.

[Ian]

Is it called calisthenics? Calisthenics.

[Shane]

Calisthenics.

[Ian]

Isn't that body weight? Is that body weight?

[Damien]

I don't, I don't actually know, but I know it can be referred to as bodyweight exercise. And there's a ton. And I mean if you Google it there's, I'm sure now especially there's tons of YouTube fitness channels that are like making full routines. I know even Chris Hemsworth had like a thing that he was doing. There's tons of stuff you can do and all you need is literally like a six foot square space. Just wear some gym shorts and stuff and, and you can, you can do everything you need. I mean, really. And, and that goes beyond this. Like, if you're able to commit to that and you do that at least every other day, you'll be in great shape eventually. I mean, that the consistency is more important than the actual routine. I believe.

[Ian]

Yep.

[Damien]

I believe if you do something every. If you jog a mile a day, every day for months, that's going to be better than doing the craziest workout.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Damien]

A couple days.

[Ian]

100%.

[Damien]

I mean, that's just how it goes.

[Ian]

Because a lot of those people that do do the crazy workout do. Do they end up either injuring themselves or they just. They're just like, oh, well, I did that crazy workout, so I don't need to work out for. For three or four days. And also, that's me sometimes. Like, I'm definitely guilty of that.

[Damien]

I think this, this, this, this offers a great opportunity to like, be like, okay, over the course of the next month, while I'm still in quarantine, I'm gonna work on seeing how many push ups I can get myself up to doing by the end of it. And so every day I'm gonna try to do a little bit more. Give yourself a rest day every now and then, but. But keep trying to up that number. Stuff like. That's great.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Ian]

How many push ups you up to, bro?

[Shane]

Hundreds.

[Damien]

5,000.

[Shane]

5,000.

[Damien]

I haven't officially tried to see how many I can do in a row, because.

[Ian]

Let's do it.

[Damien]

I'll do, like, 25 and I'll take a break. I'll do, like, some triceps stuff, then I'll go back do 25.

[Shane]

I took, I took push ups for granted in a way, because when I was in karate as a kid, they would have you do all these, like, stretches and exercises before you started. And so it would be like, you know, you got to do this routine of stretching, and at the end, I'm going to need 50 pushups, 50 sit ups, 50 squats, like, all that stuff, and then we can get started. So it was all like a race with how quick you could get done, like, with your other classmates. So back when I was, like, a spry youngster with a very fit body and, like, didn't have to deal with, you know, just being a tired adult, we did, like, 50 to 60 pushups, like, with good form, within, like, a minute or two. And it, like, it was nothing. And then I stopped doing that. Now, going back as an adult trying to do push ups, I'm like, whoo that 20 was sure a lot.

[Ian]

Also, your body weight is so much more.

[Shane]

I know, but I'm just saying I had a skewed view where I was like, I could probably do like 60 right now. And it's like.

[Damien]

Yeah, no, no, I think I was. I think I was like 13 and I did a hundred in a row, but that's because I weighed nothing. I could never. I don't think it's possible for me to do 100 in a row now because I have £70 on when I was 13. So that's. That's. Yeah, I'm doing. I'm lifting more weight. Sure, that's fair.

[Shane]

What I've been doing to do that is I'll step outside on my balcony and just, like, sigh a few times and then I'll go back inside.

[Ian]

That's good.

[Damien]

That's a good one.

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah.

[Ian]

Breath, breath.

[Damien]

I eat Oreos with a lot of passion.

[Shane]

Okay, sorry, Random thing. I am not a sweets guy, but last night I was like, I got to have something. So I postmated some ice cream from salt and straw. I got bone marrow and smoked cherry flavored ice cream.

[Ian]

Whoa. Yeah.

[Shane]

Sound.

[Ian]

Salt and straw does not fuck around.

[Shane]

They're not messing about. They're not messing about sun. They get weird.

[Damien]

I can't. I can't with the weird ones. I love salt and straw, but I still. Even at salt and straw, I get chocolate or vanilla or, like, coffee flavor if I'm feeling crazy.

[Ian]

Whoa.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Ian]

I ordered some from Jenny's and I got like a. I got like a brown sugar and like, almond, like, toffee. Dude, it was so flipping good. Yeah.

[Shane]

We're working our way down these questions. There's no way we'll get to the whole bottom section. There's one in that bottom section that, you know, I want to talk about from that. From the Instagram questions.

[Ian]

Okay, let's do it.

[Shane]

You know, there's. You. You know which one it is.

[Ian]

Jump to it. Just do it.

[Shane]

You. You know which one.

[Ian]

No, I don't.

[Shane]

It's the third one.

[Ian]

Just call it out. Just. Just read it.

[Shane]

It's the third one. This is your rodeo.

[Ian]

Really? But this is such a dumb question. Like, all right, we all know the answer to this one. Helena, Elena, xo. As should toilet paper roll over or under, and obviously it's over.

[Shane]

Over.

[Ian]

You have to be a stupid idiot.

[Damien]

I got to be honest. I got to be honest here, man, because I've been thinking about this shot. I don't think there's anything Wrong with it going under. I don't think there's anything wrong with it.

[Shane]

I am mad at you now.

[Damien]

I am. I am. Look, I am the only person, I think, in the world that is completely neutral on this. But I'm passionate.

[Shane]

There's a war going on.

[Damien]

No, I'm passionately neutral. I think both sides work just fine. I think the benefit. Switzerland benefit of the under is that there's. You're less likely to accidentally roll out too much.

[Shane]

I've never done that, though, as an adult. You know, you're tearing off three pieces, three little squares at a time or whatever. How do you go and then accidentally unroll the whole thing? You don't yank it. You tear it to the right or left like an adult.

[Damien]

It's not that much more inconvenient for it to be on the backside.

[Ian]

It is untrue.

[Shane]

It's the difference between going poop or.

[Damien]

No, idiot, you're not a cat.

[Shane]

Thank you. I am not one of them. And that's why I don't need to do it under because it's dumb.

[Ian]

Actually.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Ian]

If you have a cat, maybe going under would be. Would be better.

[Damien]

Oh, I brought Ian to my side.

[Shane]

We'll fight you both and win.

[Damien]

Oh, that's actually a great point. Having it under would make it less likely for a cat to roll it all.

[Shane]

My cat doesn't roll it out.

[Damien]

Your cat doesn't?

[Ian]

I've never had a cat do it. I'm just saying, like. But it's possible to do it maybe.

[Shane]

Under train your cats.

[Ian]

I never. I never thought I'd be an underboy.

[Damien]

If I on my toilet paper. And I realize, oh, I put it under. I'm not changing it. I don't care. That's. That's where I stand it. Wherever it's at, it does not bother me. What bothers me more than the over the under is when toilet paper. When the. When the holder is, like, in a very odd place. When it's, like, way behind. Like, it's. It's next. It's parallel to the tank.

[Shane]

That.

[Damien]

As opposed to being next to the seat.

[Shane]

Yeah. When people have those toilet paper holders that aren't actually attached to the wall. They're, like, on a long ass, like, stand.

[Damien]

But then it's, like, in a weird place. Like, it's can't be too far. It's got to be right next to your right or left hand. Like, it's got to be. Literally, your arm is still bent and you're able to just grab it I've.

[Shane]

Thrown out a shoulder before trying to wipe my ass with things like that.

[Damien]

Yeah, it's hard work, man.

[Shane]

It's hard work, man. Got a big ass. Also, just want to say real quick, the patent for toilet paper, if you look it up, it is over.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Damien]

Oh, oh, so you're saying we should do things like we did in the 1800s? No.

[Shane]

Yes, exactly.

[Damien]

Because we get better at stuff we don't need.

[Shane]

No, like life hacker. Like, actually, if you take your toilet paper and pull it through a tissue box, it works. It's like, forget that. Nobody ever actually uses the life hacks that we tell them about, Shane. So why don't we just do things for real?

[Ian]

All right, so we all agree. We all agree. Over. Over. Unless you have a crazy cat that rolled a toilet paper.

[Shane]

Yeah, let me just jump.

[Damien]

Nothing.

[Ian]

Let me jump to a dating question.

[Damien]

Oh, oh. Over.

[Ian]

Under local lesb asked. That's their name. I didn't. That's just what their name is. They said. Tips on finding a partner. I've been really lonely during quarantine, and I'd love to at least start talking to someone to not feel as lonely. When. When you're talking about finding a partner, nothing's worse than desperation. So if you're. I'm just saying, like. Like, if you're saying, like, gosh, I'm really lonely. I really want to find someone to talk to because I'm just so lonely. That's not a good angle to come after it.

[Shane]

I mean, I don't think that's their opening line, but.

[Ian]

No, but it's the.

[Shane]

Hi. Hi.

[Damien]

Please. Oh, fuck.

[Shane]

I'm so lonely.

[Ian]

Because I can.

[Damien]

I think they just mean in general, like, they want to be dating. They just want to, like. But I don't know. I have a problem with that. I. I've always had an issue with the idea because I used to be that way of. Of needing. Of your happiness. Being reliant on you. Being in a relationship, I think is the most unhealthy thing. And I know that's. I know that's also making an extreme out of what the. I know the person asking probably means. It's in a much lighter sense of just like, oh, I'd like to be dating. How do I date it during this time? But also.

[Shane]

You'Re.

[Damien]

If. If you are lonely because you're not in a relationship, that's a problem. Like, you. You don't have to be lonely because you're not in a relationship. But dating apps and stuff. I mean, people are figuring it out. Like. But obviously, yeah, you're not gonna be able to, like, fully date someone right now. Like, that's just, like, not in person.

[Ian]

Yeah, I started doing, like, video dates, but it's like, if I'm not vibing with the person, I'm not gonna. Just because I'm lonely. I'm not gonna, like, go back and talk to them.

[Shane]

You just, like, close the laptop. Like, no heads up.

[Ian]

It's like, I'm done by. No, but it is. It is a little awkward. Like, one on one. And I had my doubts by the pictures they were using, and my doubts were confirmed when. When they showed up on video because they were very strategically positioned. Let me just say that it's. All right. Look, it's just. Just represent yourself truthfully in. In the apps. Like, it's. I'm not saying. I'm not saying, like, they were. When you look different from your photos on the dating apps. That's not right. That's not okay.

[Damien]

FaceTime. And it's just this.

[Shane]

Yeah, he's not FaceTiming a Midwestern father.

[Damien]

It's just.

[Ian]

It's a. It's. It's the same.

[Shane]

It's the same for the audio people. Shane put his phone directly, like, below his chest. Like, the under chin. Yeah.

[Damien]

Like a titan.

[Ian]

It's. I mean, it's the same thing if you're meeting somebody in person for, like, a first date. I've heard. I've heard horror stories of. Of people meeting someone and they're complete, like, one person.

[Damien]

I feel bad about that, though. Like, that's like. It must be so tough to. To be so uncomfortable with your looks that you feel you have to completely lie about. I mean, it's essentially. I mean, you're talking about one step away from catfishing, where people who do literally photoshop their pictures so they just essentially are a different person in their photos as opposed to. But I feel so bad for that. I feel like that's got to be so tough.

[Shane]

Step into the world of power, loyalty, and luck.

[Damien]

I'm gonna make him an offer he can't refuse. With family, cannolis and spins mean everything. Now you want to get mixed up in the family business.

[Shane]

Introducing the Godfather at champa casino casino.com.

[Damien]

Test your luck in the shadowy world of the Godfather slots.

[Shane]

Someday I will call upon you to.

[Damien]

Do a service for me. Play the Godfather [e-mail] Welcome to the family. No purchase necessary VGW Group void We're prohibited by law. 21 + terms and conditions apply.

[Ian]

Yeah. Or somebody like myself who's in my 30s, there's people that are using photos of themselves from like six or seven years ago, and you're like, ah, okay. I mean, interesting choice.

[Damien]

I. And I look, when I was on dating apps, I had the option of like, using photos that made me look like I was taller or like, you know what, whatever. And I was always against that. Cause I'm like, I would so much rather the swipes that I'm getting. I know that they know what I look like for sure.

[Shane]

Yeah, of course. And honestly, if it's going to be a problem for that person, like, if height, for example, if someone would not have swiped left. Swiped left if they thought, you know, that you weren't a super duper tall person, then it's already not going to work out with that person. So why lie about it and get them on a date only for them to be like, well, no, I'm the type of person where height matters so much. There's no way, like, you're wasting both of your time. So, yeah, it's.

[Damien]

It's brutal. I mean, it's so brutal.

[Ian]

I mean, obviously, like, it's. Yeah, I think my, my approach is always just represent myself as truthfully as I can on. On dating apps. But. But then I also understand, like, people have insecurities and that bleeds through on their.

[Shane]

Of course.

[Ian]

On their profile course. It's just unfortunate because it's like you can't, you can't start a relationship off on a lie.

[Damien]

Well, it also. Yeah, like, I can get that because even if they were, even if they were, Even if I found them attractive when I saw them in person, if they looked completely different than the photos, I'd be just weirded out. I'd be like, wait, yeah, what.

[Shane]

What's going on?

[Damien]

Yeah, now I can't trust anything you're going to do.

[Ian]

Yeah. So when I went on, that video date, vibe was immediately off because I was like, oh, you look completely different.

[Shane]

It is. Well, because you do start on a lie, and that's the thing. But also, you might be attracting the wrong kind of people if you're, you know, you know, adjusting your photos at all. Like, I'm somebody who, when I was on the dating apps, I would be very intimidated if all the shots look like, model, model, model, model. I'm like, oh, that's no way. Like, I. She looks like she'd be mean to me or something like that. Or like, you know, she looks like she would want to go to the club every night, and that's not my thing. And I wouldn't even. I wouldn't even give it a shot. But if that person turned out to be, like, so introverted and, like, look like a normal human being and all that stuff, that's what I would actually be, like, attracted to. But if they misrepresented themselves as a model or something, you know what I mean? Like, yeah, yeah. The wrong type of person.

[Damien]

I got that with the bio, too, because I remember I had friends trying to, like, give me pointers on, like, no, the bio needs to be like. This means it needs to be a little bit more, like, flirty and serious or whatever. And I was like, I'm not that, like, cool. Like, should I pretend that I'm a different human until they meet me and realize I'm not that human?

[Shane]

Yeah, you can finally relax after a year of a relationship and be like, okay, God, this is who I really am. Here you go.

[Damien]

Yeah, exactly. I mean, that's what people do, and it sucks.

[Shane]

It's why.

[Damien]

It's why. Sony. Relationships are dysfunctional.

[Ian]

So this next question comes from Ben Atherton. 0. 3.

[Shane]

Ben Atherton.

[Ian]

The Ben Atherton. Zed. 3.

[Shane]

Zed is Z.

[Damien]

Not.

[Ian]

Not. Oh, zero. Yeah, I guess they don't.

[Shane]

Zilch. Ought.

[Ian]

Yeah. Ought. Yeah. Odd. My bad. Thanks for calling me out. Thanks for making me look stupid, Damien.

[Shane]

Dude, you got yourself for that. No worries.

[Ian]

This person said so. I've been with a girl for about since quarantine started. I've been pretty distant because I don't see her. I think I've lost interest. Do I try to wait the quarantine out and see how I feel or break things off now?

[Damien]

Oh, man, there's a lot.

[Shane]

I feel like there's a lot there.

[Damien]

There's so much not information there. I feel like. Like you've been seeing a girl for a year, and now you're actively saying, like, yeah, I've been distant. I've moved away. I don't see her. I don't keep in contact with her too much. So of course you don't feel anything because now you're making yourself a stranger to her.

[Shane]

One, maybe we should bleep your name in case she also Smosh.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Shane]

But two, like, you've sort of got to check in with where your emotions are at. Do you miss this girl? Do you actually want to communicate with her? You know, you're saying you feel yourself pull away, but even though your feelings are something you can't quite control, your actions definitely are. So if you're. It's not like your body has made you pull away. It's like you are pulling away. You gotta ask yourself why you're doing that. It is an active thing. That being said, it is very tricky to maybe break off with someone. I don't know if you're younger or if you're like, you know, living on your own. But if. If you're this, the only person that this girl would have during quarantine and you're breaking it off, that sucks. Like, I acknowledge that it's crazy times.

[Ian]

Like I would normally say, like, yeah, it sounds like you've lost interest. Maybe you should break it off. Sounds like you're not interested anymore. But also it's like this is a crazy time that nobody prepared for. And maybe you just have a lot of stuff on your mind and because of that, you're not able to focus on somebody that you care about. But you've also, like, recognized this feeling. So I feel like you're just kind of. I feel like you've kind of recognized that you're not feeling anymore and you're just delaying the inevitable.

[Damien]

I think that's possible. I think. But I. But I will say there's so many ways you could go about giving advice, because I would also say you've been with someone for a year, which is a long enough time that if something's not feeling right, maybe first try to do something to see if there's a way to fix the situation. If you're going, oh, I'm not feeling this because we're not talking much, well, then maybe try to set up something so you're talking more like, you know, you dated this person for a year. There must have also been something there to start with. You know, I see a lot of questions where it's like, yeah, I haven't been feeling it lately. Should I just end it? And I'm like, well, do you want to see if maybe, like, you know, there is an. There is an aspect of work involved in a relationship that you put in effort. And if you continue to be in relationships and expect to just keep feeling it regardless of how much effort you're putting into it, then you're going to end up single over and over and over again.

[Ian]

Yeah, you.

[Damien]

There has to be an element of putting in for this other person.

[Shane]

That's a good point.

[Damien]

I don't know. I'd say if you. If you have done that and you're feeling this way, then, yeah, maybe it's time to move on.

[Shane]

But I will say not to. Not to make this person feel bad, but, like, when you're looking for a partner, especially something a little bit more long term, it's also important to know how you react in a crisis. Right. Like, this is the kind of person where, like, if you're going to continue being with them, it's been a year, two years, three years, you, things are going to come up, the world is going to be crazy again at some point. And if you are the type of person to, in a crisis, just completely detach and not need a partner, it's not necessarily a bad thing. It's just maybe how you're wired. But if that's not what you need or you feel yourself not even gravitating toward this person in a crisis, then maybe it's not a good match. Don't rush in anything, you know, any decisions. But you definitely have to consider where you're at right now and how you've responded already.

[Ian]

Yeah. So probably worth having a conversation with this, this significant other and say, hey, this is how I'm feeling. Maybe this is why I'm feeling it. How are you feeling? How do you feel about me being more distant?

[Shane]

Or do you care? Do you care? Does it actually matter to you what they think? Or are you asking just to ask? Yeah, that's another important question.

[Ian]

All right, so we're coming down to the end, so let's go to the lightning round. So. So this is. These are a bunch of questions that were asked over Instagram. Thank you guys so much for submitting those to the Smosh Instagram story. This comes from Kyle Durand. The question was, what are some healthy coping mechanisms you guys use?

[Damien]

Journaling. Write down exactly how you feel about stuff. Vent it all out.

[Shane]

Exercise and designate specific time to relax. Don't leave it nebulous. Give yourself one hour of relaxation scheduled.

[Ian]

I probably don't have one. I compartmentalize. All right, let's go to the next one. This one comes from tricks464. They said favorite part about filming from.

[Damien]

Home, setting my own schedule, being my.

[Shane]

Own boss, setting my own schedule and being bottomless all the time.

[Damien]

Gross.

[Ian]

Not having to drive to work and just being here and just getting a little bit more sleep.

[Damien]

No. That's awesome.

[Ian]

Okay, so now this person, Andy Hayes, asks, when you were kids, what did you want to be when you grow old? And in parentheses, how did dream change? How did dream change?

[Shane]

Doctor, then astronaut, then chef. But then I got attention for being in a theater production, and then I was an Actor. And now we're here.

[Ian]

I didn't have dreams, okay?

[Damien]

I wanted to be a veterinarian for all of my childhood until I did Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory in fifth grade and was like, oh, I'm actually really good at this. All right.

[Shane]

Have we talked about this, Shane? Willie? Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory was my first play that got me in acting in third grade.

[Damien]

What part did you play?

[Shane]

Willy Wonka.

[Damien]

I played Willy Wonka.

[Shane]

Are you kidding me?

[Ian]

Did we just find out a new thing about you guys? What?

[Damien]

That's so funny.

[Shane]

Yo. That's insane.

[Damien]

I was the only one to audition for the part, so.

[Shane]

Yeah, well, I was the only one who was, like, asking for it. Everyone's like, I don't care. I don't know. And I was like, can I be Willy Wonka? And they're like, yeah, well, here's some attention.

[Ian]

He's the one with the name in the title. I want to be that one.

[Damien]

I used to be on video. I used to have the VHS of it.

[Shane]

I have to have some photos somewhere.

[Damien]

Yeah, that'd be funny. That's crazy.

[Shane]

Shane. What the hell?

[Damien]

I mean, what other plays? What other plays are you going to do in fifth grade?

[Ian]

What are you talking about? Death of a Salesman Discovered. I know we just severed this, but, guys, we got to move on. It's lighting round. We got to touch on that later.

[Shane]

Can't wait for this more interesting question that comes wild. Here it is.

[Ian]

Drew Nichols, 13, asked, what are some small pleasures? For example, mine is a mug of hot chocolate.

[Shane]

Finding extreme commonality with a friend and discovering new things after years of friendship. Just kidding. Sitting down and playing a video game while watching tv. Splitting my brain two ways actually occupies all of my thoughts so I don't have to, like, overthink stuff. So video game and TV at the same time?

[Damien]

2 answers. Fresh laundry. And also when you wake up 2 hours before your alarm goes off. So you get to just sit there and go, Yeah, I get to go back the fuck to sleep. And it feels so good.

[Ian]

Driving through an open road in the wilderness. Early morning, right around when the sun is starting to come up.

[Shane]

No, that's.

[Damien]

That's pretty dope.

[Shane]

That's pretty dope. Oh, and also waking up when it's super cold and. And melting into the covers.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Damien]

Finishing a book. And now getting to decide what book you want to read next. It could be any book row.

[Ian]

Also just eating some bomb ass food.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Damien]

Yeah.

[Ian]

Okay. Finn Barrett asked, Top 10 ways to eat peanut butter.

[Damien]

If you're not dipping Oreos into your peanut butter, you're. You've not figured out the code.

[Shane]

Sounds like the worst thing ever to me.

[Damien]

It's so delicious.

[Shane]

Using your fingies, using a banana, spreading it on apples, spreading it on toast, injecting it into your veins.

[Damien]

On celery.

[Shane]

On celery. Ants on a log. That's right. In cups. In peanut butter cups. Adding it to your ramen actually is delicious. Yeah. With, like, a soy sauce flavor Peanut is used in.

[Damien]

I guess that's true. Thai food has tons of.

[Ian]

Yeah, but, like, does it, like, separate? Like, what happens to it?

[Shane]

No, it just sort of thickens up the soup. I mean, do it with, like, a complimentary broth, like, soy flavor, but, you know. Yeah. What is that? Seven, eight.

[Ian]

Your ass.

[Shane]

That ass. Fitting your mouth around the wide lid of the.

[Ian]

The gif and then just going, yo, y'all ever done. Y'all ever spread some peanut butter on a banana?

[Shane]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Ian]

Okay, hold on. Can we just talk really quick? Really quick? Why do apples taste so much better when you slice them?

[Shane]

I. That's a loaded question, my friend. I wouldn't say that.

[Damien]

I think that's. I. Yeah, I don't know if I agree with that.

[Ian]

No, no, no. Give it a shot. Obviously.

[Damien]

I've given it a shot many times in my life.

[Shane]

I've tried it better.

[Ian]

It's so much better.

[Shane]

But there's something about specifically something that's crisp, like a Fuji apple that, like, when you bite into it in that first big bite, you actually take, like, half the apple side with you, and it's just like, oh, yes, perfect.

[Ian]

That's too much.

[Shane]

It's one of those, like, softer red delicious things. I would slice that so you get a little bit of that crown.

[Damien]

See, I'm a Granny Smith boy, and I'll eat them anyway. You know, Damien's making a yucky face.

[Ian]

There's, like, 500 varieties of apples.

[Damien]

Granny Smiths are the best.

[Shane]

I've had them. And I've had Fuji.

[Ian]

Click by Soul asks, would you guys date a woman that is taller than you? So this is a question.

[Damien]

Yes, I have.

[Ian]

It was. We kind of talked about this in the. In the podcast last week, where I confronted Carrie Miller, Courtney's sister that I am to marry in the future, and she only dates guys that are six foot or taller. Would I date a woman that's taller than me? Yeah. I don't care. I mean, it might. I mean, but I don't know. I've never Done it. But I feel like maybe there is something.

[Damien]

I have zero problem with it. I. I think the only issue for me, and I know it's the same for tall girls, is that they worry that they are judged. So they feel insecure. I think I would. Unless I, like, felt comfortable enough where I'm like, they don't care. They. They don't care, then I don't care. But I think if I'm worried that they care, that might affect it.

[Ian]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Damien]

I dated a person, just not. Not for very long, but I dated a girl who was taller than me a few years ago, and I didn't. It didn't matter to me. It just. I would not. Yeah, it doesn't bother me. I've dated. Literally every person I have dated has looked so different. Like, I've. I have no type. The same.

[Shane]

I have literally no type.

[Ian]

I ain't got no type.

[Shane]

I don't know.

[Damien]

But you? You bet. Ian, you're saying you would date someone taller than you?

[Ian]

Sure. I've just never done it, I guess. Well, I mean, maybe just, like, a slight, teensy, tiny bit taller than me. Maybe I would date somebody, like. Maybe not, like, over six feet.

[Damien]

Maybe that's someone over six foot. I have. No.

[Ian]

It's just. It's just a. It's. It's just a compatibility thing. If you want to, like, kiss the person, I don't have to go on my tippy toes. I don't have to make her bend over.

[Shane]

I don't know if you'll have to be on your tippy toe, but I don't know. Yeah, I'm the same way. I don't think I. Looking back, I don't think I have, but I certainly would.

[Ian]

That's.

[Shane]

That's not a thing for me at all.

[Damien]

Yeah, I have zero. I've never. I've never experienced. I just. I think the thing is, I feel like most tall girls are not interested in guys shorter than. Yeah, it's been my experience. My experience. And I know I hear a lot of tall girls say, like, oh, no, guys shorter than me would want to date me. But in my experience, personal experience, tall girls have always made it known very quickly, like, oh, I only want to date someone my height or tall.

[Ian]

It doesn't bother me, and I don't think it should bother people.

[Shane]

But you like what you like.

[Damien]

So I think Joe Jonas and Zane are, like, leading the charge for the Short Kings. I think it's becoming more normalized. Yeah, I think it's great.

[Shane]

Danny DeVito walked so that they could run.

[Ian]

Okay, last question. This is the most important question of the bros. Like we. Carl Sella asked, what are boys thinking, bruh? What are boys thinking, bro?

[Shane]

Dude, women.

[Damien]

In my head is just any. Is just the animal crossing theme.

[Ian]

Yeah.

[Damien]

We don't have to cut that out, right?

[Shane]

No.

[Damien]

Is KK Slider gonna sue us?

[Shane]

Your.

[Damien]

Your. Your video has been claimed by a KK Slider.

[Shane]

Yeah, well, that'd be pretty dope. Okay. Anyway, boys, think about, I mean, what.

[Ian]

This, what this boy's been thinking recently is that maybe I've lost my mind a little bit because I downloaded a video game. It is a. It's so funny that I'm wearing like a Michelin hat right now. I, I downloaded a game that is a off road trucking game where you like pick up like trailers and take them to their destination.

[Damien]

And like you're talking about death stranding.

[Shane]

Yeah. Nope.

[Ian]

Much worse. It is, it is a like off road simulator type game. So there's like, maybe it's a muddy road and you might get stuck and you might have to like put your truck into low gear and like lock the differential and use a winch to get out.

[Damien]

I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

[Shane]

That sounds fine. We're very different people.

[Ian]

It's just very. Yeah, it's just very like. I realize how boring it really is, but it's kind of like a puzzle game.

[Shane]

That's okay. Like there's always going to be games that are or even like any kind of form of media that connects to you. And then other people are like, why would you do that? Like.

[Damien]

Yeah, but then some people are into like really cool stuff, you know? Yeah, some people are like into like lame dumb stuff.

[Shane]

Ice Road Trucker, the free mobile game.

[Damien]

Or whatever, DMV simulator.

[Ian]

It basically is Ice Road Truckers. And the weird part is like the loading screen. You know how like loading screens sometimes have like funny facts and hints. This one has some like weird like, like truck lobby stuff where they're like. It's expected that the trucking industry will increase by 20% in by 2030. And like truckers pay X amount of taxes but only contribute to this amount of people on the roadway. And it's like stuff that's just like very like pro trucker.

[Damien]

Like I mean that makes sense.

[Ian]

I don't know.

[Shane]

I would imagine it would be though, like you're not going to play like a Call of Duty game and have the loading screen be like the military industrial complex. Like no it's gonna.

[Ian]

There was one that was. It was like, women only account for 3% of truckers, but some studies may. Or they're like. But they're just as good at their job. And some may. Some studies may show that they're safer.

[Damien]

What.

[Shane]

What are you trying to convince us?

[Damien]

Like, it's like, okay, man, they can.

[Shane]

Do the same job.

[Ian]

Women can also do a job. Guys.

[Shane]

What?

[Ian]

This is how progressive we are as truckers. Women can do our job, but the.

[Damien]

Only woman you can play as in the game has the lowest stats on purpose. Like, they made her, like, the worst driver.

[Shane]

We call her bad Diane.

[Damien]

It's like, wait, you just said that women are good truck drivers, but in the game, you have it designed against them.

[Ian]

So what are you boys thinking real quick? Sorry. I know I took. I took away too much time, man.

[Shane]

I don't know.

[Damien]

It just. Milk just sloshes back and forth.

[Shane]

Just sloshy milk. Sort of like a. Like a. Like a cartoon dog that's walking, like, you know, like a classic Mickey Mouse style where his legs are normal, but the body's, like, bouncing up and down. It's like. And he's just sort of like, on a walk cycle. It's in black and white, and there's just, like, you know, an angry dude like. Like, coming out of the window. Damn it.

[Damien]

That Damien, that just made me realize you have a sketch that you didn't talk about in your sketches. You've never made the Guy who Sued Drake.

[Shane]

Oh, my God.

[Damien]

We'll save it for the next time we don't. Because it's one of my favorite sketches ever.

[Ian]

Save that. Also, the. I just want to say the game is called. I think it's called Snow Runners. And. And it's. And it's co op. So if you guys want to get the game and come trucking with me. Me?

[Shane]

No.

[Ian]

And come help.

[Damien]

Oh, man. No.

[Ian]

Yeah, you can come winch me out of a. Out of a. A hole. I'd appreciate that. Ah. All right, so let's move on to the shoot.

[Shane]

Yeah, let's move on.

[Ian]

Let's move on to our shoot, dude.

[Shane]

Shoot, dude. Shoot, dude.

[Ian]

Shoot, dude.

[Damien]

Shoot, dude.

[Shane]

Shoot, dude.

[Ian]

Dude. Okay, okay. Damien and Shane are doing weird Jojo posing. All right, this one says, hi, my name is Zach, and this happened to me a long time ago when I was, like, 11 years old. I went to my lifelong best friend's house. Let's call him Danny. And we are playing soccer. And he stepped inside to get us some drinks while he was Inside, I was sitting on the grass in his garden, and I heard a crawling noise near me. I am a huge arachnophobic, which is somebody that's scared of spiders. And when I turned around, there was a huge spider next to me. I stood up and straight up punted the spider into the flowers of the garden and didn't tell Danny about it when he came back. Then a few days later at school, I noticed Danny looked upset at lunch. Oh, shoot. I already. I already see what's coming. I asked him what was wrong, and he said that he had lost his new pet tarantula, Timmy, the other day. I never told Danny the truth about what happened for years until his wedding during my best man speech. He found it very funny. Whoo.

[Damien]

That's. I. I don't know. That's a. That's a controversial shoot dude, because he wasn't in the wrong. He didn't know his buddy had a pet tarantula, but also something suspect that.

[Shane]

He don't think it's true.

[Damien]

He punted a. If you see a tarantula and you. If you just see one and then you don't tell anyone, why would you not. Why would you not tell anyone immediately after?

[Shane]

I feel like all the shoot dudes I've been on recently, and now I know I can say this have been complete fabrications, and I don't believe this one either.

[Ian]

I don't think it's a fabrication.

[Shane]

So you're telling me, as someone who is an arachnophobic, seeing a tiny spider would probably freak you out. So seeing a whole ass tarantula after hearing a crawling noise, whatever that is, you decide to contact it by kicking it. If you were an arachnophobic, you would scream and run away. Not be like, time to get rid of this big boy, kick it into some bushes.

[Ian]

We're also talking flight or fight or flight, but there's so many ways. All right, look, he's 11 years old.

[Damien]

But your friend already lost the spider at that point. But he wasn't sad then. He was sad several days later when he's like, yeah, I lost my spider. You lost your spider that day and you didn't mention it to your friend of, hey, my spider is missing from its thing. My. A tarantula might be in my home right now.

[Shane]

But also they were saying they were sitting on the grass in the garden. So the tarantula already escaped its container and his home and walked from the house to the direction of the garden. No other area. And he happened to be there. I'M not believing this, dude.

[Ian]

Maybe the spider was just going for a stroll, you know, little. Little garden stroll. I mean, if you're 11 years old, you're not. You're not explaining everything. You don't, you don't like, you don't have like a. I'm thinking civilized conversation.

[Damien]

I'm thinking there's elements here. I think he already knew that the spider was his friends and was. I think he reacted too quickly and killed the spider or kicked it and was like, shoot, that was my friend's spider. Maybe that I just like, because it's. What's weird is that his friend already was missing the spider and didn't tell him. And then also kicking a tarantula and not. And just be like, I'm going to keep this a secret. Why would you keep it?

[Shane]

Your friend comes back and you're not like, dude, huge spider, dude, there's a.

[Damien]

Tarantula in your back.

[Ian]

You know what, what probably happened. He knew what the trend. He knew about the tarantula. He stepped on it out of fear, crushed it, and then kicked it into the garden to hide it.

[Damien]

I'm thinking, I'm thinking. Yeah, I'm thinking he, like, knew it was his friend spider when he kicked it. Like, I think he reacted out of reflex and kicked it. I don't think he, like, did it on purpose, but I think he acted on reflex and was like, crap, that was my friend's pet.

[Shane]

If there's any truth to this. I think he, like, flailed his foot and could have crushed the spider, but it's a pretty active move to be sitting in the garden and, like, kick a spider with enough heft under it to just yeet it into the bushes. Like, where are the bushes? Like, we're literally talking about getting some lift and air on that spider and arcing it down into a different part of the garden. It's a pretty specific ass story. Like, it's not a lie.

[Ian]

He could have done more like a soccer kick kick, you know, from a seated.

[Shane]

Seated position.

[Ian]

No, he said he stood. He said, so I stood up and straight up punted the spider. So he sprung up and went, ah. And then kicked it. I mean, he's 11 years old.

[Damien]

What do you.

[Ian]

What do you do when you're 11? You freak out about something.

[Damien]

I just feel like. I feel like I would just run. I would just get away from it. Kicking it gives it the opportunity to get latched onto my foot.

[Shane]

You don't want to touch it if you're arachnophobic.

[Damien]

Yeah, I have.

[Shane]

I have been in the situation, and I'm not even an arachnophobic. I remember being at recess one day and sitting in, like, a. A pile of wood chips and just reading, and I was maybe 9 or 10 years old, but there was a spider at least the size of the back of my hand. Smaller hands then I'm a child, but, like, the size the back of my head. And I went, whoa. And I, like, quickly got up and, like, brushed off and just ran. I wasn't, like, time to smash this thing because I'm arachnophobic.

[Damien]

It's the fighter, the fight or flight thing. I get him kicking it. I get it's him not telling his friend, not telling anyone, and then also his friend only being sad a couple days later that his spider that was already missing is missing. Then I. I think it's suspect. I'm. I think there's elements. I mean, or twisted or whatever.

[Ian]

Yeah. So what I think. I think what happened was it probably got out that day. He didn't tell him because maybe he didn't know at that time. And I think he killed the spider and hid the evidence. I think he knew it was his friend spider. I think he killed it and hid the evidence and didn't tell him because he didn't want to feel guilty for killing his friend's spider.

[Shane]

Carol Baskin killed her husband.

[Damien]

Husband.

[Ian]

Yeah. And I think Epstein didn't kill himself. That's true.

[Damien]

I think it qualifies as a shoot dude. Any version that we just said still qualifies as a shoot dude. Killing your friend's pet counts as a shoot dude.

[Ian]

That's definitely.

[Damien]

I mean, look, I think there's some kernel of truth to this. I think there's just elements he's twisting, because I don't think he. He wants his friend.

[Ian]

I think he's still guilty.

[Damien]

I don't think he wants his friend to listen to this and go, oh, you knew that was my spider and you killed it.

[Shane]

It.

[Damien]

Because right now, there's still the element of the spider got away and lived a happy life. It's like, I don't know.

[Ian]

No, no. I think he killed it. Maybe he buried it. Maybe he. Yeah, maybe he pulled a Carol Baskin.

[Shane]

Maybe he's haunted by spider ghosts. Yeah, well, then I will allow you two to both have shoot dudes. I will have a Skeptic Samuel over here.

[Damien]

Skeptic Samuel.

[Ian]

All right.

[Shane]

Skeptic Samuel.

[Ian]

Well, that's.

[Damien]

That's.

[Ian]

That's it. So send your shoot dudes to shoot, dude, that's-o o [e-mail]. send them over and tell them truthfully.

[Shane]

Or I will call you out.

[Ian]

Because we could. We could suss it out.

[Shane]

I don't think I've had a shoe dude yet that I believed.

[Ian]

All right, well, that's it. Thank you. I'm gonna go back to trucking. I got some. I got some pallets of wood that I need to deliver.

[Shane]

You got to deliver that word, my dude.

[Ian]

Got to do it. Yeah. Don't.

[Damien]

Make sure to rate us 5 stars.

[Ian]

5 stars. Rate 5 stars. Sorry, that might have been good.

[Shane]

Good.

[Damien]

Ian Raid.

[Ian]

Five stars. Pretend.

[Damien]

Yeah, do it again.

[Ian]

Pretend we're uber. Rate five stars. Give us a review on itunes and haha whole podcast and thank you, Damen. Thank you, Shane.

[Shane]

Thank you.

[Ian]

Hey, y'all. We're all. We're all doing great, and we hope that you're staying safe and reach out to your friend, tell them that you love them, and we'll see you next time.

[Shane]

See you next time.

[Damien]

Bye. Bye.

[Ian]

Bye. Where are you?

[Ryan]

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[Damien]

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