S2: #66 - The Return of The Damien & Shayne Show!

Summary

Podcast Summary: Smosh Mouth S2: #66 - The Return of The Damien & Shayne Show!

Release Date: June 3, 2020
Hosts: Shane Topp (Tall) and Damien Haas (Short)
Guest: Rotating Smosh friends

---

1. Introduction and Acknowledgement

The episode kicks off with Shane Topp addressing significant social issues, notably the tragic death of George Floyd and ongoing racial injustices. Shane emphatically states, “SMOSH stands fully behind the Black Lives Matter movement” (00:41). He encourages listeners to support organizations like the NAACP Legal Defense Fund, highlighting the importance of community involvement during challenging times.

---

2. Origins of Friendship

Shane and Damien delve into the history of their friendship, reminiscing about their time on Disney Channel’s So Random!. Damien recalls, “We were both on Disney's So Random, where we worked together for about eight months and became best friends” (04:10). They transitioned from being colleagues to roommates, sharing experiences and supporting each other through the uncertainties post-Disney.

---

3. Career Trajectories: From Disney to Smosh

The conversation shifts to their unexpected rise to fame and the collaborative journey within Smosh. Both express surprise at their sustained popularity, with Shane noting, “Neither of us thought we were gonna be famous” (01:48). Damien adds humorously, “I think you are comfortable taking up space yourself and know that you’re worth being able to do that” (54:07), emphasizing personal growth alongside professional endeavors.

---

4. Working Together: Strengths and Dynamics

Shane and Damien explore how their professional partnership within Smosh influences their personal friendship. Shane mentions, “Our job is often just this, us hanging out, talking” (30:35), highlighting the seamless blend of work and personal interaction. They discuss maintaining open communication, stating, “Any time we ever have had a conflict, open communication, we’re so good at where it’s just like, hey, man, that thing actually didn’t sit great with me” (34:20).

---

5. Personal Growth and Mutual Support

A heartfelt segment where Shane acknowledges Damien’s growth: “You’ve gotten more confident in yourself over the years” (53:03). Damien responds with gratitude, reinforcing their strong bond and mutual support system. They reflect on how their friendship has been a cornerstone for personal and professional successes.

---

6. Humorous Anecdotes and Inside Jokes

The duo shares various humorous stories and inside jokes that illustrate their chemistry:

• The Stork Story: Both joke about an absurd scenario involving a stork, showcasing their playful banter (02:10).

• Anime Rivalry: They discuss their playful competition in interests like anime and design, with Damien humorously suggesting matching tattoos, “What if I just kept talking and they end the pod?” (56:35).

• Shoot, Dude Segment: A humorous storytelling segment where Shane narrates a comical incident at McDonald's, leading to laughter and light-hearted advice on social interactions (58:01).

---

7. Reflecting on Personal Interests and Hobbies

Shane discusses his newfound interest in history, mentioning, “I’ve been on a history kick” (17:30), while Damien appreciates Shane’s support in his Twitch streaming endeavors. They also touch upon their shared love for video games and creative projects, enhancing their collaborative spirit.

---

8. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the episode wraps up, Shane and Damien reiterate their appreciation for each other’s support and the strength of their friendship. Damien shares, “I hope you get yourself a friend as good as Shane” (62:00), to which Shane responds warmly, “You can totally do that” (55:25). They conclude with mutual affirmations of their bond and a playful sign-off, solidifying the episode’s affectionate and humorous tone.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Shane on Black Lives Matter:
  “SMOSH stands fully behind the Black Lives Matter movement” (00:41).

• Damien on Taking Up Space:
  “Sometimes you have to take up space yourself and be okay with that and know that you’re worth being able to do that” (54:07).

• Shane on Friendship Growth:
  “You’ve gotten more confident in yourself over the years” (53:03).

• Damien on Mutual Support:
  “You give people confidence and you give people hope” (55:58).

• Shane’s Advice on Social Comments:
  “Just don’t comment on a woman’s body ever” (58:44).

---

Key Takeaways

• Solidarity and Social Responsibility: The episode begins with a strong stance on important social issues, demonstrating the hosts' commitment to advocacy and community support.

• Deep-Seated Friendship: Shane and Damien’s long-standing friendship, rooted in shared experiences and mutual support, is a central theme, showcasing the importance of personal bonds in professional settings.

• Personal and Professional Growth: Both hosts reflect on their individual growth journeys, underscoring the balance between maintaining personal identities and thriving in collaborative environments.

• Humor and Chemistry: The episode is rich with humor and inside jokes, highlighting Shane and Damien’s effortless chemistry and ability to entertain through authentic interactions.

---

This episode of Smosh Mouth offers listeners an intimate glimpse into the enduring friendship and dynamic collaboration between Shane Topp and Damien Haas. Through heartfelt discussions, nostalgic reflections, and contagious humor, Shane and Damien create a relatable and engaging narrative that resonates with both long-time fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Damien Haas]

How to have fun anytime, anywhere. Step 1 Go to chumbacasino.com chumbacasino.com Got it. Step 2 Collect your welcome bonus. Come to papa. Welcome bonus. Step 3 Play hundreds of casino style games for free.

[Ryan Seacrest]

That's a lot of games, all for free.

[Damien Haas]

Step 4 Unleash your excitement. Woo hoo choo choo choo choo Chumba Chumba Casino has been delivering thrills for over a decade. So claim your free welcome bonus now.

[Shane Topp]

And live the chumba life.

[Damien Haas]

Visit chehamocasino.com no purchase necessary vgw group.

[Shane Topp]

Void where prohibited by law 21 + terms and conditions apply. Geico's motorcycle expertise means I'm covered by people who know bikes like I do. I'm happy as a clam. No conclusive scientific research has shown clams can experience happiness. It just meant that I feel really good about my coverage.

[Ryan Seacrest]

I mean, even if you took the.

[Shane Topp]

Clam out for the best day ever, visiting the zoo, taking a scenic ride, knowing you're insured by specialists, and sharing a strawberry ice cream cone together, the clam would not feel happy and your strawberry cone would taste sort of clammy.

[Damien Haas]

Ew.

[Shane Topp]

Geico's motorcycle specialists who know bikes like you do, assume no liability for clammy ice cream cones. GEICO expertise for your motorcycle Ramble. Hey everyone, before we start this, I can't start this podcast without bringing up George Floyd and the many other racial injustices that are happening and have happened in this country. And I just want to say that SMOSH stands fully behind the Black Lives Matter movement. And if you want to get involved, we've posted four organizations on our Twitter and we strongly encourage you to support any of them. I would suggest the NAACP Legal Defense Fund. It's a great organization, but obviously it's tough times for a lot of people out there. So if you can't support, there's a lot of other ways to get involved, and we strongly encourage you to do that. So with that said, enjoy this best friends pod that was recorded a little while ago. Well, I mean, that's literally like how we met. You came out of your dressing room, you're just like, hey man, I think I kind of like interrupted you at lunch yesterday when we were all talking. So I'm really sorry about that.

[Damien Haas]

That's me. Putting others before yourself is not a bad thing, but sometimes you have to take up space yourself and be okay with that and know that you're worth being able to do that. And I think you are.

[Shane Topp]

Now, after Disney, we both Thought like, our careers were gonna stay ste. Neither of us thought we were gonna be famous, but we were like, but we're gonna get work. We've never both gone to an aspen tree and said, baby, please, baby, please.

[Damien Haas]

Oh, shit. We just did. Oh, the stork is barreling through my window at breakneck speeds. Oh, God. There's a dead stork. But the baby survived. What do I do? This dead stork is protected in California. I can't go away for this, Shane. I will do the intro stuff, but then otherwise, always feel like you can do whatever this is.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, of course, man. This is chill.

[Damien Haas]

And even though this is like two siblings that are being left at home by their parents, Infinity did put me in charge as the older, more powerful sibling.

[Shane Topp]

She just already starting off.

[Damien Haas]

I know. We're here, right? What's up, everybody? And welcome back to yet another Smosh cast. We are so excited you decided to join us today because today is going to be a very fun, very special cast between two people. And only two people usually have way more. You heard that voice just now. You know, first of all, my name is Damien Haas, and this is my best friend, Shane Top. Shane Topp. That's what I was gonna say.

[Shane Topp]

Damn.

[Damien Haas]

Gonna say. Look at him.

[Shane Topp]

Four letters in our last name. That's all you need.

[Damien Haas]

That's all you need. Look at that boy. Legs all the way to the ground. Two arms maybe work teeth flipping. Mouth chock full of them.

[Shane Topp]

Just so many.

[Damien Haas]

No spaces for new ones. But yeah, guys, today we're gonna be doing a best friends cast. There isn't necessarily a rhyme or reason to it. We want a sort of freeform talk. You know, we have the questions that you guys have been asking us over the years, and we could have asked for those yet again, but we kind of just want to check in and see how we're feeling right now. Just the two. The two dudes. The two dudes, yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Just. Just a recap on our friendship and see where things are now.

[Damien Haas]

Speaking of recap, what do. What do people. So for those who don't know us or whatever, how do we. Very quick recap. What's our friendship story?

[Shane Topp]

All right, so we were both on Disney Channel.

[Damien Haas]

I was like, do you forget?

[Shane Topp]

So wait.

[Damien Haas]

Shit.

[Shane Topp]

What? How did it go? We were both on Disney's so Random, where we worked together for about eight months and became best friends. And then after that, we were unemployed for a long time, and we became roommates.

[Damien Haas]

Roommates.

[Shane Topp]

And remained friends. And we weren't always roommates. In that span of time, eventually I joined Smosh. Then eventually I was able to get Damien on Smosh. And now here we are.

[Damien Haas]

Here we are, baby. And the rest is history. Thank you so much for joining us.

[Shane Topp]

That's it.

[Damien Haas]

That's it. That's all of them. No. So we've just got some random questions from our. From that we've written ourselves and that our dear head writer has also written. But some of his are ridiculous. Like, who smells better?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, our boss likes to ask very strange questions. He likes to try to start drama amongst us, which is impossible.

[Damien Haas]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Just can't happen.

[Damien Haas]

It can't. He's always like. He's always like, hey, hey. They're the two boys. Hey, listen, I do have a question for you. Okay. Which one's funnier? I'm just fucking with you, but. Just kidding. Hold on. Which one is stronger? No, just kidding. Which one gets the girl? Which one's the best smelling man that gets the girl? And he's just like, okay. Oh, my God.

[Shane Topp]

I've said it before. The most insane people at Smosh are behind the camera.

[Damien Haas]

Yes.

[Shane Topp]

You never see them, you never hear them, but they are the craziest.

[Damien Haas]

Yes.

[Shane Topp]

And. And arguably the funniest too. But just in a. Sometimes in a scary. Sometimes in a scary way.

[Damien Haas]

It's actually. Yeah. I never know what I'm going to get with him. And it's. It's a good thing. It's a good thing.

[Shane Topp]

He texts, yeah, sorry, go on.

[Damien Haas]

I was actually. He texts to ask permission to call, which is always super nice. And you're like, sure. And then you hop on, call with him. He's just like, hey, Damien, there's the boy. Hey, listen, what are your thoughts on like, big cats and near. And I'm like, like, like my fat ass cat. They'll be like, no, no, like ocelots, tigers, panthers. Like, what kind of. What do you say? I'm like, being near them. He's like, yeah, super. Just like being near them and like feeding the meat. Hey, I'm just kidding. Listen, can you give me that script? Like, that's never happened, but, like, it's 100%. Oh, I would.

[Shane Topp]

I fully believed that that was real. He texted me last night at like 8pm Just. Just text me, Shane, question mark, exclamation mark, question mark, exclamation mark. He just texted me out of nowhere, Shane. And I respond. I'm like, it was just a question mark. He just goes, just checking in, man.

[Damien Haas]

Oh.

[Shane Topp]

I was like, I'm doing good. He's like, awesome. Love to hear it. And I was just like, how you doing? He's like, I'm great.

[Damien Haas]

Fury.

[Shane Topp]

What the heck is going on?

[Damien Haas]

I think that's really sweet, though, because it's very difficult for when someone is, like, a tippy top boss and you're their employee. It's difficult to, like, maintain a good friendship there. But I do consider affinity a friend. So, you know, there are those times where, like, he'll text me on a Saturday and he just wants to show me something cool, but it sounds like work. And so I'm like, I'm getting work text on a Saturday. But it's actually just him being like, hey, I want to show you this cool, fun thing I found. Like, it's. I just feel bad.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. I think probably part of it is, is, like, being our boss, there's always that trepidation of, like, oh, crap, did I do something wrong? Or is there some work involved here? So there's no way for him to contact us without it having that response in some sort of way.

[Damien Haas]

He's gonna hear all this.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, he's. Yeah.

[Damien Haas]

This is Boss cast. No longer Smoshcast or Bros cast. This is Boss cast.

[Shane Topp]

Just Boss cast. Just gonna talk about our bosses and how much they suck. Sarah Whittle. Get out of here.

[Damien Haas]

Get out. Ian Hecox, if that is your real name. Stop it.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, just stop.

[Damien Haas]

Stop, stop it, Stop it.

[Shane Topp]

Just get out of town.

[Damien Haas]

How do you feel about hopping into some of these questions now that we're done with Fitter to Caster?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, I think it's. I think it's a very good time for us to be doing this because I'd actually like to point out something crazy we learned in the pod. Was it last week or the week before that you and I got into acting the exact same way?

[Damien Haas]

Exactly. And not just like, oh, I signed on and then I did a commercial. No, literally, exact same way. Third grade play. Was it third grade for you too?

[Shane Topp]

It was for me, it was fifth grade.

[Damien Haas]

Oh, wow.

[Shane Topp]

So just a couple grades off, but interesting. But it was Willy Wonka in the Chocolate Factory.

[Damien Haas]

And not only that, we both played the role of Willy Wonka.

[Shane Topp]

That's right. That was our breakout role. Was the exact same.

[Damien Haas]

I think, subtly, that might be what started our, like, anime style rivalry. Like, you know, where it's never a bad rivalry, but always, like, I've got to get stronger for that. Because if you think about it, I'm about a year older than you. You did it in fifth grade. And I did it in third. So I was three years ahead of you in power level and career strength points.

[Shane Topp]

Just sixth grade. Just super career strong. Yeah, well, I mean power level at sixth grade was incredible.

[Damien Haas]

By the time I reached sixth grade, I had already finished Willy Wonka three years ago. By the time you finished, you got to sixth grade, it had only been one year. You were ill prepared.

[Shane Topp]

Damn it.

[Damien Haas]

I know shit. And I remember my lines.

[Shane Topp]

How much community theater did you do? How many plays did you do?

[Damien Haas]

So much, Shane.

[Shane Topp]

See, I only did one play really. I did Willy Wonka, then I did Best Christmas Pageant ever.

[Damien Haas]

That was basically a smosh sketch, wasn't it?

[Shane Topp]

I did that one community theater play and then I hopped right into film and tv. You know, just got to keep. Keep it moving, you know what I mean?

[Damien Haas]

Oh, yeah. No, I mean, I guess people who don't practice just working on the craft and honing it before jumping in the water, that is definitely a move some people would make. That's fair. I myself caught the bug of the theater and the Bard after Willy Wonka and was in a legally distinct from Disney version of Snow White and the Seven Dwarves. Oh, and then Tom Sawyer, Charlotte's Web. Oh, I was in the Life and Adventures of Santa Claus. Really? Just bangers, all of them.

[Shane Topp]

Wow, those are some classic works there. That is some Daniel Day Lewis level. Yeah. Criteria. And then you also trained. You did train classically. You studied musical theater.

[Damien Haas]

I studied the Blade.

[Shane Topp]

While you fools were.

[Damien Haas]

While you were busy kissing girls, I mastered the Blade. I don't know if I stole that from Game Grumps or if that's a like well known meme.

[Shane Topp]

I think it's just a meme. I just see the meme everywhere. While you fools were partying, I stood with girls.

[Damien Haas]

I stood at the Blade. No. So yeah, I trained classic voice training for singing and stuff because like musical theater. And then I did like a touring company thing in Atlanta where I went from like school to school to school and put on these plays and actually got paid to do it. So. Wow. Gosh. I guess while you were being a professional on camera actor, I was being a professional theater actor. One of those sounds way harder to doing this day. I wonder if this. We're just gonna mess with each other the whole time.

[Shane Topp]

Just. Just shit talking the whole time.

[Damien Haas]

So what? Shane, enough about me. What are your credentials?

[Shane Topp]

What are you. What are you good at? Anyways, moving on.

[Damien Haas]

What gives you the right?

[Shane Topp]

Why so do you mean why are you speaking anyways?

[Damien Haas]

Oh God.

[Shane Topp]

Oh shit. Yeah, it's. Dude, it's so crazy to think back that you were like, you were doing the classic college life when I met you.

[Damien Haas]

Yes.

[Shane Topp]

On Disney. On Disney. Like you were at Disney Channel working every week while still like living with a bunch of college roommates. I think you were still. Were you still going to some classes at the beginning?

[Damien Haas]

I was. I too.

[Shane Topp]

That's nuts.

[Damien Haas]

It was crazy. I would wake up super early for like, I had this like science general elective and I would like skateboard to the class as fast as possible, hop in, like take the test finish and immediately bolt out the door and like skateboard to get to my car to drive to Hollywood. I would make it to so random stuff like directly on time with not a minute to spare and be like, I think I passed that test. You know, it was, it was too much.

[Shane Topp]

That's what's funny is that sounds like a Disney sitcom in itself. Like, yeah, oh boy, I'm late for class. But I got to go to this show I work on.

[Damien Haas]

Yeah. It's like two lives. He's got two. Two lives. How's he do what he do? And then I just. It ends with me going like thwump. And then the title screen and I'm crossing my arms for anyone who doesn't.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, yeah. Doing the classic Disney cross arms.

[Damien Haas]

Cross arms. So yeah, I think friendship questions about us. If you, if you wouldn't mind, can I hop onto this list a little?

[Shane Topp]

Do it. Do it, man.

[Damien Haas]

I mean, let's warm up real quick before we hop into the nitty gritty stuff. There's a question on here that says who has better taste? And I originally would think that that means like who has good taste in things? But it is directly after the question who smells better? Which makes me think that they are sort of like if a. If a blind folded person licked an arm.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Damien Haas]

Who would they be?

[Shane Topp]

Like, oh man, I don't feel like I would taste good. I feel like I probably. I'm just bland.

[Damien Haas]

Really?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. I would say that I'm. I'm just bland. My diet is very boring for the most part, I think.

[Damien Haas]

But that's the thing, Shane. Like, first of all, you smell like pepper. So that's some seasoning right there.

[Shane Topp]

You're the only one who says that.

[Damien Haas]

I don't think so.

[Shane Topp]

No one else has said that I smell like pepper, but.

[Damien Haas]

Well, I don't think anyone else has the right. Because I'm your best friend, I can say that to you. I don't think. I think other People probably like, wait till you're gone. And they're like, does he smell like pepper to you? And they're like, I think he smelled. Was that him? No, that was him. Like, yeah.

[Shane Topp]

I like the idea of you stopping someone from saying what I smell like, because they don't have the right. Like. Like, oh, Shane, you smell like. And you're just like, you may not.

[Damien Haas]

I put my entire hand over their face.

[Shane Topp]

You basketball. Shove them away.

[Damien Haas]

You will not say that to him.

[Shane Topp]

You grab their face, lift them one foot off the ground, and then throw them.

[Damien Haas]

That's true. I am quite the super villain.

[Shane Topp]

If we're talking about food, though, you definitely do have better taste than me. Like, you have an insane palate.

[Damien Haas]

Oh, thanks, man.

[Shane Topp]

Whenever we travel, you're the one. You know about every food. And it's not just like. Like, when we were in Australia, you were like, oh, yeah, this there. They serve this type of crab here that is only native to this region of Australia. And I was like, what? I was like, I would never know that.

[Damien Haas]

I appreciate that. I think it's because I'm such a glutton. And that's what I'm excited about. So it's not like I'm googling, like, things to do in Australia. What beach should I go to? I'm like, okay, what's the best, most decadent food that I can only get here? And then in Australia, they were like, well, it's a weird underwater sea bug. It looks like a nightmare from a. From the dude who produced Alien. And you're like, great, give me it. Like, I don't know.

[Shane Topp]

It was created by James Cameron.

[Damien Haas]

James Cameron. But I don't know, man. Like, I think in terms of taste of other things, you generally do better. Like, I'll gladly take the food one because I just like being a bit of a new food hunter. But, like, in terms of aesthetics, like, your design eye, you. I mean, look, even the shot of your apartment right now, like, there's decoration, there's symmetry. I've got this going on. Every time I come over to your place, you're like, hey, man, you. Oh, yeah, you haven't been here since I did the blank to my apartment. Like, I turned my sofa upside down and moved my surfboard into my ceiling. And I'm like, oh, my God, this looks great. Like, no way. And like, every time I come over, it looks better. Same with clothes. I'll be like, that's a sick jacket. You're like, thanks. I decided to invest in it for the year and it'll be like the piece that I sort of center everything around. And I'm like, whoa. Didn't even think you could do that. That's cool. Like, I don't know. I think we've. For anime rivals, we're pretty aware of each other's strengths and celebrating them.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. Because what I would say is, for lack of a better term, I think we're both kind of, I guess obsessive is a word where we like, we hone in on a thing and we're like fascinated by that thing and we're all about it. Right. Like, and for you, like food, like, you're just fascinated. You want to know all about it. For me, like, if I get into like, oh, like I'll start getting into like, you know, clothing or like sneakers, and I'll be like, all about all of it. Like, I'm like, I want to know everything.

[Damien Haas]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

And so.

[Damien Haas]

And I'm the same way with like, different things. So. You and I have very similar drives for learning about stuff too. And I think it's also, you and I are very. We like to take opportunities when we see them. And I think that's how to phrase this. If you want to learn something nowadays, it's on the Internet, all the information is there. So I think you and I are the kind of people that can't just sit still knowing that that information is there and we could learn about that thing immediately, you know?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Damien Haas]

It's like we, we go and do that.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. We crave knowledge.

[Damien Haas]

We do.

[Shane Topp]

At all times.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It is Ryan Seacrest here. There was a recent social media trend which consisted of flying on a plane with no music, no movies, no entertainment. But a better trend would be going to chumbacasino.com. it's like having a mini social casino in your pocket. Chumba Casino has over a hundred online casino style games, all absolutely free. It's the most fun you can have online and on a plane. So grab your free welcome bonus [e-mail] sponsored by Chumba Casino.

[Shane Topp]

No purchase necessary vgw group void where prohibited by law 21 + terms and conditions apply. I've been on a history kick, man. That's been my thing.

[Damien Haas]

Yeah, you've been telling me about that podcast you were listening to.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, I mean, I've been listening to podcasts. I've been watching historical fiction shows. I've been. Been reading like his history stuff. I don't know. I don't know why it's suddenly like I go through those types of crazes every now and then. But yeah, man, I'm, I'm loving. I was listening to this podcast, all about World War I and World War II and all sorts of other stuff. Read a book about Cleopatra earlier this year that was nuts.

[Damien Haas]

Whoa, that's dope. I always find that interesting where it's like, it's not just information or encyclopedic about Cleopatra, it's like a whole book about it. I'm like, how did. Are we learning new info about Cleopat?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, man. Oh, dude, it's so legit the way it's. Because it's told like chronologically like us, you know, and it's. There's some Game of Thrones level stuff in her life. I mean, basically they were talking about like. And this is way up until even.

[Damien Haas]

Didn't she die by taking an asp or something?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, that's the legend, but I think she ultimately just poisoned herself. But Mark Anthony, who was. I can't remember. Yeah, he was there with her. He attempted to stab himself with a sword and it failed to kill him. And so he just like died a slow, miserable death. It's.

[Damien Haas]

Damn.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. If you were, if you were a Roman leader, your fates were rarely good. Yeah, generally, basically everyone was trying to kill you.

[Damien Haas]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

I believe Octavian was the one who was trying to kill her. I think I may be wrong. There's a lot of information.

[Damien Haas]

We'll tell you what, I can't fact check you, but I think that's interesting. I think you are probably enjoying theater, not theater, history. Because it is your body telling you it is time to become a father. It's a very dead thing. I don't know. Imagine like coming downstairs is just like, you know, there's, there's that like singular interview with the person that's like. Now the thing we didn't know about Herbert Hoover at the time is ba, ba ba. And then it cuts the black and white photos like. But Herbert Hoover's victory was short lived because you know it's. And that's the History Channel.

[Shane Topp]

And you can only watch it if you're a dad. You can only have to have a kid.

[Damien Haas]

Like, you gotta find me. Flip to the channel and then there's a knock at the door and be like, hey, do you remember that time you went to a diner five years ago and saw that really hot waitress? And then things one led to another and you're like, oh, is my five year old son.

[Shane Topp]

No, there's no way for that to happen to me. But I often think about that scenario. Really like it. Look, there's no incident in my life where that could have happened. Just being honest here. But I'm just like, how crazy would it be if you found out you had a kid and you didn't know at all? Like, how crazy would that be? I just think about that.

[Damien Haas]

You just told everyone you were a virgin. Sorry.

[Shane Topp]

Now it's impossible, because I've never.

[Damien Haas]

I've never held hands with a lady. Therefore, she could not have gotten pregnant.

[Shane Topp]

Yes, and that's how it works. But that has not happened.

[Damien Haas]

We've never rubbed our tummies together in front of a bird so that it could tell the stork that we're ready.

[Shane Topp]

Exactly. Therefore, we've never both gone to an Aspen tree and said, baby, please, baby, please.

[Damien Haas]

Oh, shit. We just did.

[Shane Topp]

We just did. There's an Aspen tree.

[Damien Haas]

Oh, no. Oh, the stork is barreling through my window at breakneck speeds. Oh, God. There's a dead stork. But the baby survived. What do I do? This dead stork is protected in California. I can't go away for this. Baby, you take the heat. You're young. You can withstand prison. I'm getting out of here.

[Shane Topp]

Here, take these cigarettes in the snapshack and go.

[Damien Haas]

It's the only way I can help you. Your name Octavian. Never kill Cleopatra. And don't you go back in time. Don't you do it.

[Shane Topp]

It is. It is 11:45 in the morning. We. We are completely sober. This is just how we talk.

[Damien Haas]

I just woke up, so I had to tie one on. You know, just a whole thing of.

[Shane Topp]

Jack Daniels White Claw for breakfast.

[Damien Haas]

Am I right, everyone? No, I'm kidding. I do like some of these things. This is a more meaning question. Would you ever live with each other again?

[Shane Topp]

Ooh, that's a tough one. I think the thing is this. I do enjoy having my own place. I don't know if I ever will end up living with someone unless I'm, like, married or whatever. So. So. But. And part of the reason is this, having a job. Like, with the amount of work we do at Smosh, I do love coming back to my own space. Like, it was being like, this is my. Mainly for my own kitchen. And obviously, when we lived together, we had a bunch of roommates, so the kitchen was always crazy. It was impossible. You would get. Like, you had your quarter of the fridge.

[Damien Haas]

Yep.

[Shane Topp]

You know, and that just, like, drove me crazy. And there was nothing to do about it, because by the end. Our roommate situation was dope. Like, we were all very legit. We were like, yeah, we were. You know, like, we were all younger. Like, I was definitely not. Like, I'm cleaner and more organized now than I was then. Like, I definitely would still. We would all, like, throw shit in the sink. Like, we would just all do that sometimes.

[Damien Haas]

I think. I think we worked as roommates, though. Not just you and I, but that whole group. Because generally we had similar, you know, definitions of what was clean and what was okay. Like, yeah, you know, and I think we were okay with having conversations, but also, like, we were young 20s and living in a house that was, for some reason, just the cheapest possible thing.

[Shane Topp]

It was falling apart, like, legitimately. It was the type of house that you would open a cupboard and it would, like, come off.

[Damien Haas]

But at the same time, man, like, the rent was so cheap.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, yeah. No, it was great. It was great.

[Damien Haas]

And it was safe. I felt safe there. You were safe enough to live in a shed with no locks.

[Shane Topp]

I felt semi safe. I didn't feel always super safe.

[Damien Haas]

That's fair. I mean, I kept trying to give you karate lessons and you wouldn't let me do it.

[Shane Topp]

No, but these will deflect bullets, these karate chops.

[Damien Haas]

I think I would live with you again, but I don't foresee there being a circumstance where that's even a thing. Like, it's if life happened where we both needed roommates again or whatever, and it was just like, oh, what are we going to do? I would be more than happy to live with you again. It's difficult when you work with a friend anyway. But, like, when you work with a roommate and you're seeing each other all the time, it's not even that you have a problem with each other. There's just no time to, like, decompress. And if I'm associating you with work as well, like, how could we have a rule where it's like, coming home, never talk about work, don't do it. We got to leave that there. Like, that would be tricky.

[Shane Topp]

Don't look at me for the first hour that we're back home.

[Damien Haas]

Don't do.

[Shane Topp]

Don't look me in the eye. Yeah, that's what I say. Like, if we were both unemployed again, like, if we both found ourselves in a situation where we were out of work and we were trying, or we're trying to make ends meet, we're just working small time jobs, then I'd be super down because that was the situation and it was Fun because, like, we did have a lot of free time. We were kind of like figuring out what our lives were. And so it was really nice to have a friend right there. Like, that was great. Disney, like, after Disney, we both thought, like, our careers were going to stay steady. Like, I didn't think, neither of us thought we were going to be famous, but we were like, but we're going to get work.

[Damien Haas]

Like, yeah, well, you have like a resume now where it's like, oh, I might get some guest star roles more easily, you know, and when you come.

[Shane Topp]

Out to la, you're told, like, all you need is to get a couple of things on your resume. If you get that one show on your resume, then you're gonna be just fine. And we got that. We had 26 episodes of a show on our resume and you're thinking, oh, I'll at least be able to book commercials. And then years went by and like, I was just, I would. I booked like one commercial in like three years.

[Damien Haas]

I think you and I had little successes here and there, but, like, yeah, it was not a steady stream. Like, I had to get a side job right away. And that was actually the whole reason we became roommates in the first place is because I. When I first got off of Disney, I was still like, you know, living by myself in a one bedroom. And I was very excited to be doing that. I was, I did that for like, I think I did that for like a year post Disney before we became roommates. And I literally, I didn't get a job then because I was like, oh, I have to be available for auditions and this is going to continue on right away. So I ran out my savings very quickly, but it wasn't out of, like, laziness. I legitimately thought, like, no, this is the best option if I get like a, you know, $8 an hour retail job. Like, I'm not above working that job, obviously, but if it interferes with my auditions, then that's not good. So, yeah, it was, you know, rude awakenings. Was also a great time in life. Like, I don't know, we were both just young fellas figuring out the world, playing video games. We both had girlfriends at the time and it was just like living our lives.

[Shane Topp]

You know, I look back on it extremely fondly. Yeah, you know, like, I lived alone right when I was 18 and like, pretty much right after I. It was a little less than a year that I got so random. So I. My first years in as adult, I had this structure of like, oh, I have this great job and, like, everything. And so those few years and the years of us living together was me really, like, I became an adult in a lot of ways because I had to figure things out on my own.

[Damien Haas]

Would you say that this sort of took the place of what would traditionally be a college experience for you? Like, this was your dorm life?

[Shane Topp]

It's the closest I have, like, living with a bunch of people my age. We're all trying to figure things out. It's like, it's. There is a chaotic element to that house, because the house. The house didn't. It wasn't a. You know, like, I. I sometimes joke about, like, oh, it looked like garbage, whatever. It didn't. It, like, it was a. It was a regular house, but it was an extremely old house.

[Damien Haas]

It was from the early 20s. Early 20s? Well, I don't know.

[Shane Topp]

Close enough, but it was around that time. And, you know, it's just like a mishmash of everyone's furniture. Like, a lot of areas were just kind of like, oh, we're just storing our furniture in this corner of the room. Dude. The AC didn't. I didn't have AC in my back.

[Damien Haas]

House, and it was too expensive to use it indoors.

[Shane Topp]

So it was hot everywhere. I mean, blisteringly hot inside.

[Damien Haas]

But the good thing about that is we all sort of had to keep our windows open. And therefore, we got this beautiful cross breeze. It would feel so refreshing. And I'd sleep with my window open in the backyard that we shared because. Okay, so it was. My room had a big window which looked out in our, like, little concrete seating area in our backyard. And then Shane's shed was across the way from there so we could shout from each other's windows or whatever. There were three fruit trees, one of which was guava. And the smell of guava in the hot summer sun, being the first thing that you wake up to was incredible. It was like poetry.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Damien Haas]

It was so good. Like, I just have such fond memories of, like, summer waking up. I don't have anything to do today. Like, oh, God.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. And, you know, I. It's funny. I love. I do love living alone, but when I lived in that house, most of my time was spent. I would go to the kitchen, and I would, like, be hanging out and talking to whoever was hanging out in the kitchen. Like, I did that so often. And I love that my spot was kind of at that. That table in the kitchen area. Like, I would just be chilling there. I would love to study there just because I was like, oh, People will be walking by or whatever. I'll just talk to people as they're here. It was really dope.

[Damien Haas]

Yeah, I'm getting all sorts of like sense memories right now. It's weird.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, man. That, that house was, that house was cool.

[Damien Haas]

It's really cool.

[Shane Topp]

And living with roommates was cool. And we, we filtered through so because you know, people were kind of like coming out of college or just trying to like figure out where their next step was. So we went through like, dude, we lived with like six different people in the course of a year.

[Damien Haas]

Yeah, it was crazy.

[Shane Topp]

It was really cool.

[Damien Haas]

But the good thing is that it was never out of conflict. It wasn't like this person's out of here and then this person can't pay rent. Like it, it was always just like, hey guys, I'm moving to Chicago to pursue my dream. That's great. Well, someone's going to take my place. They're also an artist. That's great. Like you know, it was always fun.

[Shane Topp]

There was never a fight or anything.

[Damien Haas]

No, not really. I think I had some headbutting with one of our roommates a little bit.

[Shane Topp]

Oh yeah? Yeah.

[Damien Haas]

But I think that's the challenge where like I think we both had some growing to do. I also think that like sometimes people go straight from their family lives to like a roommate dorm situation and you don't really learn what is normal. Your family life, what is normal to you might be crazy to someone else. So there's always got to be compromise. How to have fun anytime, anywhere. Step 1 Go to chumbacasino.com chumbacasino.com Got it. Step 2 Collect your welcome bonus. Come to papa. Welcome bonus. Step 3 Play hundreds of casino style games for free. That's a lot of games all for free. Step 4 Unleash your excitement. Woohoo. Chumba Casino has been delivering thrills for over a decade. So claim your free welcome bonus now.

[Shane Topp]

And live the tempo life.

[Damien Haas]

Visit chambaccasino.com no purchase necessary VGW group.

[Shane Topp]

Void where prohibited by law 21 plus terms and conditions apply.

[Damien Haas]

So this is a good question. Does working together and actually Shane, any of these questions that I ask, if you're like ah, that's heavier. I don't feel like it. Like just we can move on to the next one for sure.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Damien Haas]

Does working together put a strain on the relation on the friendship or make it better? So does working together put a strain on the friendship or make it better?

[Shane Topp]

Ben? I don't. Maybe this isn't a good Answer. I don't feel like it has necessarily affected. Affected it.

[Damien Haas]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Negatively or positively because we, We. Our friendship started working together right then we went to not working together. But we coming back to this, you know, it's just going back to how it started. And our job is also so weird. Like, the thing is, our job is often just this, us hanging out, talking. If we had a job where it's like, we are lawyers and at work it's business. Even if we have to be cutthroat towards each other and stuff, it's like, no, we're. Our job is to hang out.

[Damien Haas]

We create things together. Yeah. I think it hasn't put a strain on it at all. I think the only way it's really affected it is the fact that, I mean, obviously before quarantine we would see each other so often that there's much less of a drive necessarily to like, make the time to see each other outside of it because you spend so much of your week together already. So we definitely don't like, hang out on weekends as much anymore. But it's not like an active choice. It's just like, you know, I saw you like yesterday, you know.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, I'm tired.

[Damien Haas]

I'm tired too.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Damien Haas]

In my field hurts.

[Shane Topp]

I will segue, though. That. That does remind me, like, obviously you're extremely funny on camera. The. Probably the funniest. The level of funny that you reach when we're like, hanging out, playing video games, just. Just chilling is insane. Like, it's impossible to. It's impossible to recreate it on camera because, like, there's the element of, like, oh, we're. We're on camera. I don't know, there's just a looseness. But, man, dude. Because, like, I wish I could explain to people listening, like, the.

[Damien Haas]

I wish I could do it on camera.

[Shane Topp]

The hilarity of Wombo combo. Oh, but I mean, I'm the same way. Like, it's just. You're never. Like, you can't recreate. Like, everyone listening knows, like, when you're just hanging out with your friends, just relaxing, just bullshitting, that's when the funniest. Or at least maybe it isn't the funniest, but I laugh the hardest.

[Damien Haas]

I'm the same way. Yeah, it's hard to fully let go and just let yourself, like, be on camera. And I think we're pretty good at that. But at the same time, there is, like, a bit of a pressure and like, I often have two trains of thought running as well where, like, you know, my Mind is almost like directing a video while I'm in it, too, because coming from a smosh games background, that's sort of what I was taught to do. Like, Joven would say stuff like that all the time. Where, like, I think when I first started, Jovan really tried to, like, you know, take me under his wing a bit and would, you know, keep giving me advice, which was appreciated. So it was always just like, you've got to be thinking about the story you're telling in the video front to back. Like, where are we right now? What would be amazing to see, like, how. What is the best way for this video to end? And it was, you know, that's. So that's always running in my mindset as well.

[Shane Topp]

Now, when you're playing Minecraft, think about what's your drive here? What does your character want? Kind of what's standing in your way?

[Damien Haas]

Creepers. But, yeah, I think working with you, I've learned a lot more about you. And, like, I've learned about. Yeah, I think so, because I've learned about differences between us and, well, and just like, how. How we work and how we approach things, how we approach conflict, what our mindsets are in terms of, like, socialization in the workplace and how you go about things. Like, neither of us is wrong. We're just very different. And I think that's actually been cool, too, because it's not like, it's just. It's just learning more about a friend. It's like, oh, this is who you are in this situation. This is who you are in that situation. And I think that's been cool. And I think any time we ever have had a conflict, open communication, we're so good at where it's just like, hey, man, that thing actually didn't sit great with me. I'd love if we could talk about this and try this going forward. It's like, oh, yeah, of course. Like, we're so. We're so, you know, not. What's the word? Cut.

[Shane Topp]

I just feel like, yeah, like, there's a. There's a trust. There's a trust there. And like, yeah, you're. You're also very good about. You never let something sit. Like, if. If something bothered you or you're afraid of you offended someone, you. You bring it up immediately. Like, you're not gonna, like, be like, well, we'll see, you know?

[Damien Haas]

You know, because it occupies my entire think space.

[Shane Topp]

Right, Right.

[Damien Haas]

Like, I did a thing wrong.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, Well, I mean, that's literally like, how we met. And I've told that story before, but like it was like the second day of work and I was walking in and. And you came out of your dressing room. You're just like, hey, man. I think I kind of like interrupted you at lunch yesterday when we were all talking. So I'm really sorry about that. I was just like, I don't even.

[Damien Haas]

Remember, but that's me.

[Shane Topp]

No, it's funny. Like that's. It's just such a defining moment.

[Damien Haas]

That is one of the questions here on the list is what was the moment you became lifelong friends? So it was probably just after that hanging out in my dressing room and probably somehow like a character made each other laugh or we both did. Probably when we both did like anime voice, I think.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. So I think the moment that I think that I think of is there was this sketch. It was Sterling was playing the like super sarcastic kid, right?

[Damien Haas]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

And you were playing this character and you had this like this like red haired, like it was like a short.

[Damien Haas]

And tight, like curly. Yeah. Reddish brown Afro.

[Shane Topp]

We were just joking about the hair because it looked so silly. And then you're like, yeah, I'm like one of those Tekken characters. And then you just started doing the like the like back towards camera, but turning around and then saying like a taunt thing, but in Japanese. And I laughed so hard it was funny.

[Damien Haas]

I forgot about that. Wow.

[Shane Topp]

Because that's when we started joking about anime and like just like the anime like inflections and just yeah. Sounded so crazy. And then I think that's how like the Anime Brothers sketch was born, right? Yeah, because you started to do it. And I was like, that's so funny.

[Damien Haas]

Because that is also like such a specific thing too. Like it's more common nowadays. Like, I don't know. Like, I think in the past 10 years, I think people have just been like, yeah, any kind of nerd culture, awesome. But for me to like be cast in a TV show, meet another actor and like make a joke about like anime characters and fighting games are totally like this. Right. And for him to like not only be like, oh yeah, that makes sense. But to like, yes. And it. And be like, oh yeah, totally. And it's like this too. It was like, oh my God, someone like legit gets me. Like this was. It was really cool.

[Shane Topp]

I wonder what that show experience would have been like if it wasn't for Yumi and Doug having a lot in similar in common. Because you, me and Doug very quickly were like, oh, we all love video games. And I think it took A bit.

[Damien Haas]

For Doug to sort of join in, I guess. But I think you're right. Like, we got there. It was you, me and Matthew Scott, sort of in solidarity as the new people, even though he didn't have as much as common with us in terms of, like, interests. But then Doug would join in. Like, we all started playing video games in my room. And it was just fun.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, it was so great.

[Damien Haas]

Which. Which of these questions do you. Do you want to do my guy?

[Shane Topp]

I wrote this one down. Like, what's the hardest? The other is made you laugh. Like, and. And just the problem is there's too many jokes.

[Damien Haas]

Like, many, man.

[Shane Topp]

Like, like I said, I brought this up earlier, but one time Damian was playing Bloodborne and I was watching him play and he just started getting so into it. And, like, Damian's a very, like, animated, as you see on his Twitch streams. And just in Smash games, like, you're very. You talk a lot and you're like, very animated when you're playing video games. And you were just crushing through a level and you're like, oh, yeah, baby, Wombo combo. Like, just. Just taking out this zombie. And then you decided to go into an impression of the zombie getting murdered and you're like, well, I brought it up.

[Damien Haas]

I was like, imagine like the last words that you hear or some dude just like sprinting it going, yeah, baby, Wombo combo. Like, because one more combo is the thing. In Smash, it was like a well known, like, trending video or whatever. So I was just like, wambo, like, as you're just like sliding on the blade like it's dark. Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

You never think about how terrifying it must be to be an enemy in a lot of video games. Because, like, can you imagine for like a goomba, your last thought, your last sight is an Italian man just jumping 20ft in the air and then landing.

[Damien Haas]

Directly, just killing you on your boneless body. Because they just like, like immediately, like, they crumble under his weight. And I think. I think people don't realize this, but this is Nintendo lore. Mario's bones are hollow like a bird, so he doesn't have a lot of, like, mass. So the velocity has to be obscene, squishing right through those boys.

[Shane Topp]

You'll just go on these tangents sometimes. Like, I don't know, it happens. It happens so much sometimes where, like, we'll be talking about something. I'll be like, yeah, I went grocery shopping and it was crazy. It was so crowded. And you're like, yeah. And then it's like this and this and it's like a squid just rolling through the forest. Just like, I'm just like, what?

[Damien Haas]

Where did you get to that? But I think that's part of why, like, it's almost like a selfish reason. But that's part of why it's so fun being your friend is because, like, you find joy in comedy, in small things. Like, if someone is going to tell you a story, if someone's going to put an image in your head, you're really going to put yourself there. You're going to think about it. Like you have a vivid imagination for things like that. So I'm a lunatic and I just sort of stream of consciousness stuff. When you point out specific things that I say, I don't even remember saying them usually, but you hear them and you acknowledge them and you'll start laughing about it. And that gets me in that moment too. And then I'll start laughing about it. And like, I think the moments where we laugh the most are just the ones where we together at the same time fall into those sort of laughing spells and, like, keep them growing together.

[Shane Topp]

It's so good when it happens.

[Damien Haas]

It's a plus. If you ever got matching best friend tattoos. Oh, what would they be?

[Shane Topp]

God damn, that's a. That's a good question. You've mentioned getting a tattoo of your left leg on your right leg.

[Damien Haas]

Yes. To make what if to confuse predators.

[Shane Topp]

What if I got your right leg tattooed on my left leg and you got my left leg tattooed on your right leg? And so when we stood next to each other, you couldn't tell that we're not one.

[Damien Haas]

That's insane, dude. Because I literally had a sort of a canned answer for this because I wrote the question very similar.

[Shane Topp]

What is, what's yours?

[Damien Haas]

My right arm, I would get the left side of Obama.

[Shane Topp]

Okay.

[Damien Haas]

And then on your left arm, you would also get the left side of Obama. So when we put our arms together like this, it's like, oh, double left side Obama tattoos.

[Shane Topp]

Symmetrical.

[Damien Haas]

Don't put them together. It's not. No, it's not symmetrical. It's two amounts of the left side. So it's just double of the left side of Obama. So it would be like we got it in a mistake, but like we planned it and that's the joke. And we're also not political people. So people be like, you really like Obama? And you're like, oh, yes, some good policies, like, you just have to play it off like, so you know what? In that way, we should get a president that's not even from our time. We're like Taft.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, just. Just Taft. Would Taft fit? Wasn't Taft very large?

[Damien Haas]

You're thinking of Wilford Brimley. No, I think you're thinking of Grover Cleveland or Taft. I don't know. His name reminds me of Taffy. So maybe Taft is colossal, man. Oh, Taft is massive. Oh, yeah, Taft's not dummy thick with 18 Cs. Who is?

[Shane Topp]

Welcome back to the dummy thicc history podcast. Who was the most dummy thick president?

[Damien Haas]

Good question, Shane. I think the most dummy thicc president would have to be William Howard Taft. I think he died in a bathtub. It means you can just wash him down when he's dead. You just open up the drain and then down he goes.

[Shane Topp]

Whoever discovered his body was like, ooh, a treat. We're going to be the only people who managed to get canceled for what we said about Taft.

[Damien Haas]

Oh, I'm sure the Internet can find a way to cancel us for Taft. I'm sure it'll happen.

[Shane Topp]

God damn.

[Damien Haas]

People are. People have a lot of time right now.

[Shane Topp]

I just like that we were supposed to all write some questions on this doc. And one of the questions is, if we were to race down Dead Man's bluff to both save the ski lodge and see who gets the girl, what would happen?

[Damien Haas]

Okay, I'm interested in your answer. In your answer for this.

[Shane Topp]

If we had to race down Dead Man's Bluff. So I'm assuming we're skiing, right? Or is it during summer? So it's. It's.

[Damien Haas]

We are skiing, but it is during summer. Well, that's up to you. Are we.

[Shane Topp]

Are we skiing on gravel or gravel? If it's. If it's. If it's snow, I think I would win. If it's gravel, I think you would have some sort of trick up your sleeve.

[Damien Haas]

Little does Shane know that the end of the path dead ends in a pit of lava.

[Shane Topp]

You just have one of those, like, very classic bombs, like the round with.

[Damien Haas]

The feet, the bowling ball with a string.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, yeah, one of those. You have like a long mustache.

[Damien Haas]

Gad Zooks and bot Swain. Sh Will never make it to the bottom of Dead man's curve, lest he be a dead man. Okay, here's what I think would happen. It's late fall. We just got the first bit of fresh pow pow for the season because it's very cold. We start skiing at the same time. You're bolting down there. I'm falling behind. But wait, what's that to the left? What did I Just pass. As I'm going down the hill, I notice an injured animal. So I turn my skis around, start skiing up the hill to get back to it. It's a snow turtle. It's stuck on its back.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, standing perfectly still, but just going uphill on skis.

[Damien Haas]

Yep, exactly. Snow turtle. I flip it back upside down. It grants me one wish. I look up to the girl on the mountain. I said I just want her to be happy. Flash forward 10 years later, she and I are living together. We have two beautiful children that we've sent to boarding school because we're sick of their shit. We look outside the window. You're standing there holding a radio, playing a romantic song, but it's for me. And I say, dude, I just want us to be best friends again. Let's never let a girl become between us again. And then I leave my wife so we can become cool roommates again. And we high five on Dead Man's Curse, where we look up at the same time on top of a mountain, see a beautiful girl, then we look back at each other and we go, here we go again. And that's the whole end of the movie.

[Shane Topp]

Not again.

[Damien Haas]

Not again.

[Shane Topp]

What's up with girls being attractive?

[Damien Haas]

Ah, man, this sucks.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hey, it's Ryan Seacrest. Life comes at you fast, which is why it's important to find some time to relax a little you time. Enter Chumba Casino. With no download required. You can jump on anytime, anywhere for the chance to redeem some serious prizes. So treat yourself with Chumba Casino and play over 100 online casino style games, all for free. Go to Chumbacasino.com to collect your free welcome bonus sponsored by Chumba Casino.

[Shane Topp]

No purchase necessary VGW group void where prohibited by law 21 + terms and conditions apply.

[Damien Haas]

All right, so I've got in the same vein, Shane, in this doc, one of my favorite questions is where is the amulet?

[Shane Topp]

Damien, I'm never going to tell you where the amulet is.

[Damien Haas]

Damn it. I thought that would work.

[Shane Topp]

No, just because it's on a podcast doesn't mean I have to answer it.

[Damien Haas]

Well, that's not true. I don't know if anyone's ever fully read the Patriot act because it's quite a mess. But if you are on the podcast, you do have to tell the truth. Especially when revealing the location of all powerful ancient relics from Sumeria.

[Shane Topp]

No, I will never. I will never give you the amulet. I don't care about the fact that you have my research assistant held hostage.

[Damien Haas]

Geraldine will be one with the Scarab soon.

[Shane Topp]

I don't even care. Geraldine sucked. I have a new assistant.

[Damien Haas]

I've called your bluff and eaten. Geraldine.

[Shane Topp]

No. Damn you.

[Damien Haas]

There feels time before the tummy juices kick in.

[Shane Topp]

Just stuck in there.

[Damien Haas]

I've swallowed her whole. I'm extremely uncomfortable with my distended tummy dragging it along the ground with a human shape jumping out of my side. She's pissed. Realistically, both Geraldine and I only have a few minutes left.

[Shane Topp]

You getting into a car, having to swing your stomach into the passenger seat.

[Damien Haas]

First turns, like, a bit of the side of the wall as I try to get in. Like, no, you have to sit forward so I can get through. Damn it, Geraldine. Listen to the sound of my voice.

[Shane Topp]

You go to a McDonald's and be like, all right, can I get a. All right, what do you want?

[Damien Haas]

No, you're not going to eat a large fries. You can get a kid's meal or nothing. Nuggets. Nuggets. A burger, Geraldine.

[Shane Topp]

All right, there was a good. There's a question that I'm sure people listening will want to hear is, what are our favorite characters that the other does? Like, what's. What's my favorite character that you do? What's your favorite character that I do? Because I think I know, and it actually is a recent. Well, it's not super recent, but I had a favorite, and then that favorite got beaten out for you.

[Damien Haas]

Shane. The difficult thing about this man is that, like, you have this awesome ability to, even in scenes where you have to be like, the normal guy, the regular dude or whatever, you're good at finding character within that. So you're never just gonna answer, like, yes or no. Even if you have one line in a scene, you can tell that it's like a fleshed out character. So that's the hard thing because, like, everything you do is a character. So it's literally like, what's your favorite thing that Shane has ever done? And that's hard. Like, I can go to so random days and say fly guy. I can also, you know, say Mr. Goodman from the so random days and from smosh. Literally everything, dude. I don't know, like, someone like Bryce Cristin or whatever, I'm sure just had, like. Like one, you know, appearance in a sketch at one point. But, like, we gravitate toward these things, and we're like, we got to make this a thing. Love, Harbinger. Love that you just had this wacky idea and you, like, were like, yeah, what if I'm like, this crazy old man that like, you know, is like, careful, don't go in there. And then you made a whole character based on that. Like, you impressed the hell out of me with that stuff. So maybe I'll remember something as we go.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, and yeah, for those listening, I just realized this. He doesn't necessarily have a name, but the Dumpster wizard we often refer to as the Harbinger.

[Damien Haas]

Oh, did I reveal some big smosh lore there?

[Shane Topp]

No, no, it's fine. I, I, we refer to him as the Harbinger because, like, in movies and stuff, the old man who's like, ah, best be careful about that, is that's what it's called. But I figured I was like, that's not, like, a catchy name. But I, I don't care. People can call him whatever. Dumpster Wizard, Harbinger, the Garbager. The Garbager, the Garbage. See, for me, it's about whatever. Like, any character you have, you'll just go into those. What I can't do that you do is you go into those phases where you're just. You're just spouting off so many jokes that it's like, it's lightning speed. And the first time I ever saw it was Mr. McNamara in so random. But this was during a rehearsal where you had a chalkboard behind you. And the whole point is, you're teaching a scene or you're teaching a class. We're making fun of you for your Irish accent. But during the rehearsal, you just started writing stuff on the chalkboard. This was not specified. You didn't have to write necessarily much down. There was a couple things, but you just started going. And, like, at one point, you drew a circle, and next to it, it just said, babby or egg.

[Damien Haas]

No, zero or egg.

[Shane Topp]

Zero or egg. And then you just. The whole chalkboard was filled by the end of this one take of a rehearsal, and I was dying at every single. Because you were just, just nonsensically going. And it was all insane.

[Damien Haas]

Expand.

[Shane Topp]

And then obviously back then unbeknownst that it would become a show later at lunch, I would, like, take swigs of water, and Damien would try to make me spit it out with laughter, and he would always resort to Randall. And I just thought that character was.

[Damien Haas]

That these guys like women.

[Shane Topp]

Huh?

[Damien Haas]

Like, that's, that's that, dude.

[Shane Topp]

The first time, because you said, like, like, I thought, like, my grandma. My grandma slept in the fridge. But it turned out or what?

[Damien Haas]

Yeah, it was something to that effect where it's like, you ever lose your grandma? And then you find her in your fridge, but it turns out she's made of ham. Like, that kind of.

[Shane Topp]

What are you talking about?

[Damien Haas]

Yeah, I'm a lunatic.

[Shane Topp]

And so Randall held the spot for a long time. But I gotta. I got. I gotta say, I think Augustus is like. You like Augustus, dude. The. It's. Why the VR chat episode in Smosh Games is my favorite Smosh games video of all time. Because it's you as that character just going off for, like, an hour. I mean, and people got fascinated by it. People who didn't know that you were on Smosh Games, people who didn't know, like, you were doing this for a video. They just thought they met some random person in VR. And you had, like, a group of, like, seven people just following you around, listening to what you were saying, because it was so.

[Damien Haas]

That's really nice, dude. Thank you. Holy crap. Should I stream VR chat? Should I get a headset and do that?

[Shane Topp]

You could totally do that, man.

[Damien Haas]

Hell, yeah.

[Shane Topp]

That'd be so funny. If you did a Gust. If you did an Augustus Stream, that would be incredible.

[Damien Haas]

That's a good idea. I've only done that for Goose Game. That's the voice I did when I played Goose Game.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Damien Haas]

Yeah. But thank you, man. That's really nice. VR Chat was hella fun. For those of you that don't know the episode, it's called Damien Knows the Way. That's when, like, the knuckles thing was like, do you know the way? The character that I chose for VR was Midna from Twilight Princess, and I did my Augustus voice. You know, Shane and I have written an Augustus sketch for Smosh before, and it hasn't quite seen the light of day, but maybe this character will find his placement at some point. I don't know.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. Yeah. We wrote a sketch where Damien as Augustus would be Ian's dating coach.

[Damien Haas]

Yes.

[Shane Topp]

I'm skeptical it will ever make it to the air.

[Damien Haas]

It won't.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, don't worry. It won't.

[Damien Haas]

It won't. But that's okay.

[Shane Topp]

It's been. Yeah. Now for about a little over a year now. But. But who knows?

[Damien Haas]

That's okay. You know, sometimes. Sometimes things don't quite make the cut. And that's okay. One day, Augustus will see the light of day, and then you will know my name.

[Shane Topp]

Exactly. Okay. It's. We're getting. We're getting close here to the end, so I guess it's time to switch it over to a shoot.

[Damien Haas]

Dude, really?

[Shane Topp]

Already? I think so, man.

[Damien Haas]

Okay.

[Shane Topp]

We have so much fun.

[Damien Haas]

Well, okay. One. One Last thing though, because he says, he says, wrap up the friendship convo. Okay, so can I ask one more question? Because I think this would be cool, man.

[Shane Topp]

There's rules.

[Damien Haas]

No rules. Just FX die caps.

[Shane Topp]

What if I just kept talking and they end the pod?

[Damien Haas]

What if we call this Kevin's difficult day?

[Shane Topp]

24 hour pod, 24 hour podcast.

[Damien Haas]

Our writer had asked some good questions here, and I think it's a good note to end on Shane, how has Damien grown? Shane or Damien, how has Shane grown?

[Shane Topp]

I think you've gotten. You've definitely gotten more confident in yourself over the years and like. Yeah. Cause I. I don't know, you just. You've taken on so many things now. I. Because there was a long time. I remember, I remember, you know, I wasn't the one who necessarily got you into it, but I remember forever ago being like, dude, you should do twitch. And you're like, I don't know. And now, like, here you are kicking ass there and like, vo. Like, I've watched you take on so many endeavors. You've always been a hard worker, but now, like, you really do take on a lot of things and you, you get things done.

[Damien Haas]

Thank you, man.

[Shane Topp]

That's cool to. That's cool to see.

[Damien Haas]

Thank you. That means a lot.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. While also somehow maintaining our insane, like, brains and comedy, still managing to like, become an adult, you know.

[Damien Haas]

Thank you, man. That means a hell of a lot. I'm very proud of you for finding your focus. I think you are such a multi talented individual that, like, you were blessed with too many options because of how many things you would be good at. I think it's been very important, impressive to see you focus that drive on like one or two things and really excel in them, which you have. I also feel like you're no longer afraid to, like, take up space. I would never think that you're an unconfident person, but putting others before yourself is not a bad thing. But sometimes you have to take up space yourself and be okay with that and know that you're worth being able to do that. And I think you are. Now you're more comfortable speaking your mind. You've always been a kind person and, and that's not changed. But now you're able to, like, I don't know, just talk about things when they bug you and before they build up and own things professionally and like, you know, be like, no, this is my space, and I feel like this will be a good idea. I don't know. Like, I just, I'm Proud of you in general. I feel like you've really come into your own. And you're someone who is so heavily influenced by, like, your brothers who are older than you and all that stuff. I don't feel like you're chasing anybody anymore. I feel like. Like you are comfortable being Shane and being successful in your own way.

[Shane Topp]

Thanks, man.

[Damien Haas]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Hey, thanks.

[Damien Haas]

No worries, my dude.

[Shane Topp]

But definitely, you've definitely been my, like, biggest cheerleader over.

[Damien Haas]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Every convo I feel like I have with you outside of work or outside of off camera is me being like, yeah, I don't know about this thing. And you're going, dude, you should totally do that.

[Damien Haas]

You can do anything.

[Shane Topp]

You can totally do that. Like, yeah, it's definitely because you can, Shane.

[Damien Haas]

You can do anything. If you were like, I don't know, I want to make a video of two minutes of just me looking at the camera going, no, no, no. That would get 6 million views.

[Shane Topp]

No, you're a very supporting person, and I think it's. I think it lends to why your Twitch stream has done so well is because I think, man, I think you give people. You give people confidence and you give people hope.

[Damien Haas]

That means a lot.

[Shane Topp]

You believe. You believe in people, and it's. It's very rare nowadays. I feel like most people nowadays kind of are very pessimistic about everyone, and so it's very refreshing.

[Damien Haas]

Thanks, dude.

[Shane Topp]

Well, hell yeah.

[Damien Haas]

Hell yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Best friends.

[Damien Haas]

Best friends locked in. No, no. Take backsies.

[Shane Topp]

William Howard Taft. Tattoos unite, unite.

[Damien Haas]

He will be riding a skateboard and say, scubway. Eat fresh.

[Shane Topp]

Scubway.

[Damien Haas]

Yeah. And I don't know what scub means. I think I made it up. If it's a weird word, then ignore me.

[Shane Topp]

All right?

[Damien Haas]

Right. Let's do that. Shoot, dude.

[Shane Topp]

All right, guys, let's. We're gonna swing it over to our Shoot, dude. Shoot, dude.

[Damien Haas]

Shoot, dude. Shoot, dude.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Shoot, dude.

[Damien Haas]

Dude.

[Shane Topp]

All right. This shoot dude comes from Jordan.

[Damien Haas]

All right, Jordan says I'm gonna be skeptical.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah, Jordan, you better have something good because you got two skeptics.

[Damien Haas]

And make it quick, Shane, because I really gotta take a big old crap.

[Shane Topp]

Great. Jordan says, about two years ago, I worked as a shift manager for McDonald's in my town. This specific store was actually located inside of a Walmart. And being that it's my hometown, I saw a lot of people that I knew. One night, this girl who I went to school with and her boyfriend come to the counter. While I do know this girl, I'm better friends with her best friend who lived out of state. Since I know this girl, I try to make small talk with her. To understand why I said what I said, you have to know two things. This is in all caps.

[Damien Haas]

Oh, boy. Now it's.

[Shane Topp]

Now it's no longer in all caps. One, her best friend, let's call her Mary, was pregnant at the time. Two, the girl I'm talking to, let's call her Ashley, is a very petite girl. I'm talking like two toothpick size. But she seems to have a little bit of a belly starting. Jordan, I don't.

[Damien Haas]

I don't know what more you can say to make me be on your side through this, but go on.

[Shane Topp]

Okay. So his friend Mary is pregnant but lives out of state. This girl is very petite, but looks like she has a little bit of a belly starting. Great. So what my dumbass decides to say is, hey, did you and Mary decide to get pregnant at the same time so your kids could be best friends too? Because that's adorable. This next part. This next sentence is in all caps. I'm sure you can assume what her answer was. After apologizing profusely for the next 60 seconds, I take their order. Nuggets and a small fry. But I still feel bad. So as a manager, I bump them up to a large fry as a way of saying sorry. On the way out, one of my co workers heard Ashley say, he called me fat and then gave me a large fry.

[Damien Haas]

Yep.

[Shane Topp]

Shoot, dude.

[Damien Haas]

Shoot, dude.

[Shane Topp]

Here's.

[Damien Haas]

Here's a little tip. Doesn't matter how close or not close you are with a person. Maybe just don't comment on a woman's body ever. Maybe just don't. Like. I know it was the first joke that came to your mind, but just, like, don't. Just don't.

[Shane Topp]

That's. Oh, that is a nightmare.

[Damien Haas]

That's a awful.

[Shane Topp]

That's such a shoot, dude. Oh, God, I can't believe I've had. I literally. I've seen, like. Like, I'll, like, say hi to a friend that I haven't seen in a long time, and they're very clearly pregnant, but I still don't say anything.

[Damien Haas]

No.

[Shane Topp]

In case that they got very strangely, like, gained weight.

[Damien Haas]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Just. Oh. All the weight formed in a perfect sphere.

[Damien Haas]

Yeah. They're like, I'm suffering from malnutrition, and therefore my belly is swollen, and that's why I look like that. It's like, no, no. Like, just don't. Just. That's a major shoot, dude. Just don't. Just don't do it.

[Shane Topp]

It's.

[Damien Haas]

It's also, like, it's not. Just, don't comment on people's bodies in general. It. Unless you're at the gym and it's another bro, and you're like, hey, look in gains. Like, even. That's weird. But, like, even if people mean it nicely, like, hey, you're looking tired. You getting enough rest? Like, it's. Nobody wants to hear it. It's not fun for some.

[Shane Topp]

I saw. I saw a tweet that I. That I actually really live by, and it was like, hey, guys. And probably this is for anyone, but it was like. Like, only compliment people on stuff that they made a decision to, like, be a part of their ensemble that day.

[Damien Haas]

Yep.

[Shane Topp]

Right. Like, like, and. And only use, like, Just, like, positive adjectives, like, hey, cool hat. Oh, nice shoes. Like, stuff like that. And I. Complimenting people's shoes is my go to, because I love. Like, I'm obsessed with shoes. I think shoes are dope. And so when people have cool shoes, I always point it out. I'm like, dude, dude, nice shoes.

[Damien Haas]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Women's shoes, men's shoes, I don't care.

[Damien Haas]

Doesn't matter.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, cool shoes. I let them know that size is part.

[Damien Haas]

Yeah, absolutely. Let it be a choice. Like, whatever their choice was that they made, you can say, good choice. Everything else.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, I hurt. I heard that one's real. That one's real.

[Damien Haas]

I think it's probably real.

[Shane Topp]

That's for sure. Real. It's. The setting is very believable. Oh, man. Oh, yeah. And adding the large fry. I see where you were coming from, but. Oh, boy.

[Damien Haas]

Yeah. You're just like, oh, sorry, fatty. Do you want a big old, big old fry? Like, it's just. It's the worst thing. Like, you definitely added insult to injury, so.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, God. Brutal. Oh, all right. Hey, guys. You can send your Shoot Dudes to shoot [e-mail]. it is shoot [e-mail]. yes, that is true in the dude and y'all.

[Damien Haas]

We do this Smosh cast every week. We are available on Wednesdays, wherever podcasts are found. If you like what you saw or listened to, please rate us 5 stars. It really helps us out, and we would greatly appreciate it because we love doing this. Want to keep doing it? If you want to see a video version that comes up on our Smoshcast YouTube channel on Fridays. Otherwise. Yeah, we'll catch you next time, y'all.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, guys, just have a. Hey, have a good ass week.

[Damien Haas]

If I could make a wish. For, for you, anybody in this world. I hope you get yourself a friend as good as Shane. So.

[Shane Topp]

Oh.

[Damien Haas]

Bye my friends.

[Shane Topp]

You guys get a good, good friend as Damien.

[Damien Haas]

Thanks man.

[Shane Topp]

Let us know. Let us know what tattoos. Matching tattoos Damien and I should get.

[Damien Haas]

That's true. Have a wonderful week y'all and we'll see you next time.

[Shane Topp]

Goodbye.

[Damien Haas]

Bye. Bye.

[Ryan Seacrest]

Hello, it is Ryan. And I was on a flight the other day playing one of my favorite social spin slot games on chumbac casino.com I looked over the person sitting next to me and you know what they were doing? They were also playing Chumba Casino. Everybody's loving having fun with it. Chumba Casino is home to hundreds of casino style games that you can play for free anytime, anywhere. So sign up now@chumba casino.com to claim your free welcome bonus. That's chumbacasino.com and live the Chumba life.

[Shane Topp]

Sponsored by Chumba Casino. No purchase necessary VGW Group Void where prohibited by law 21 + terms and conditions apply.