S2: #69 - Courtney Has a Health Scare

Summary

Podcast Summary: Smosh Mouth S2: #69 - Courtney Has a Health Scare

Episode Overview

In episode #69 of Smosh Mouth, titled "Courtney Has a Health Scare," released on July 1, 2020, hosts Courtney Miller, Shane Tatum, and Ian Hecox delve deep into personal experiences, team dynamics, and lighthearted banter. The episode is a heartfelt exploration of Courtney’s battle with a serious health scare, interwoven with humorous discussions about mustaches, neighborhood anecdotes, and fitness routines.

---

1. Shane’s Mustache and Gosh Darn News

The episode kicks off with Shane Tatum’s playful obsession with his newly grown mustache, sparking a lively conversation about facial hair and its impact on personal identity.

• Shane Tatum [01:14]: "I feel like I look like somebody combined Gus Johnson and Henry Cavill."

• Courtney Miller [02:15]: "You lead with your mustache when you walk."

Shane humorously debates the longevity of his mustache, attributing its maintenance to the upcoming shooting of Gosh Darn News, a new show they are developing.

• Shane Tatum [02:21]: "I have to keep it for at least a week because we're shooting the second part of Gosh Darn fucking News next."

The hosts discuss the concept of Gosh Darn News, highlighting its comedic take on current events without delving deeply into actual news, while also expressing excitement about introducing new characters and expanding their creative horizons.

---

2. Neighborhood Stories and Running Experiences

Transitioning from facial hair to neighborhood dynamics, the trio shares past and present experiences living in various communities.

• Ian Hecox [10:22]: "Back in the Sacramento days, our neighbor almost got in a fist fight with our director, Shane."

Courtney recounts her experiences with neighbors, including a recent incident where her sister cleansed her apartment with sage to improve the living environment during quarantine.

• Courtney Miller [04:18]: "I rearranged my bedroom yesterday or two days ago completely. Oh, yeah, that feels really good too. Like, change. Like, that is so good."

The conversation shifts to running habits during quarantine, with Ian and Shane discussing their workout routines and the challenges of maintaining fitness and safety.

• Shane Tatum [49:40]: "I don't jog too much. I should more. Because it's so good for you."

Courtney shares her cautious approach to running alone, balancing the need for exercise with safety concerns, and amusing anecdotes about being recognized while jogging.

---

3. Courtney’s Health Scare and Recovery

A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to Courtney Miller’s candid discussion about her recent health scare—discovering cancerous cells in her cervix—and her journey toward recovery.

Diagnosis and Emotional Impact

Courtney opens up about receiving the devastating news and the emotional turmoil that followed.

• Courtney Miller [17:02]: "It's been almost a year. I think in September. Ish was when I found out that I had cancerous cells in my body and it was severe."

She describes the initial shock and fear, compounded by her existing phobia of medical exams, leading to panic attacks and overwhelming anxiety.

• Courtney Miller [18:06]: "I had to go to the hypnotherapist... I went to therapy that day. I was literally not okay."

Treatment and Support

Courtney details her treatment process, including surgery and the physical pain that hindered her ability to work out, emphasizing the support she received from her team.

• Courtney Miller [31:11]: "But I was a soft boy."

She acknowledges the unwavering support from Shane, Ian, and the entire Smosh team, highlighting how their encouragement helped her navigate this challenging period.

• Courtney Miller [37:43]: "I want to normalize my differences and my experiences so that other people can feel comfortable and normal in their weirdness or their experiences."

Healing and Moving Forward

Courtney shares her relief upon being cleared by her doctors and reflects on the importance of regular checkups, encouraging other women to prioritize their health.

• Courtney Miller [37:02]: "That's the only reason I share anything is because I want people to not feel alone."

She concludes with a message of gratitude towards her supportive team and a humorous nod to her ongoing mustache endeavors.

---

4. Fitness, Bears, and Humorous Interludes

The conversation lightens as the hosts discuss fitness routines, encounters with wildlife, and share amusing stories to keep the mood upbeat.

Fitness Challenges

Shane and Ian discuss their workout routines, with Shane expressing a desire to hike more and Courtney humorously competing with Matt Watson in fitness challenges.

• Shane Tatum [50:11]: "I need to start hiking more. I think I'm going to start just hiking mountains whenever I can."

Bear Encounter Stories

Ian recounts a tense encounter with a bear cub during a hike, emphasizing the importance of respecting wildlife and sharing survival tips.

• Ian Hecox [51:05]: "And if there's a baby bear, mama bear is nearby. And that's the one of the only times that, like, a black bear will be aggressive is if you're near the baby."

Shane adds his own terrifying experience with a bear at camp, underscoring the unpredictability of wild animals.

• Shane Tatum [57:24]: "If the bear makes an onion volcano on your back."

"Shoot Dude" and Humorous Bits

The hosts introduce their recurring humorous segment, "Shoot Dude," sharing funny and cringe-worthy anecdotes that showcase their camaraderie and playful nature.

• Courtney Miller [58:32]: "Shoot Dude. Shoot Dude. Shoot Dude."

They conclude with light-hearted banter about movie parodies and the unique blend of humor that defines their podcast dynamic.

---

5. Closing Thoughts and Messages

As the episode wraps up, Courtney emphasizes the importance of sharing personal stories to normalize diverse experiences and encourage others to seek support.

• Courtney Miller [37:43]: "I want to normalize my differences and my experiences so that other people can feel comfortable and normal in their weirdness or their experiences."

The hosts invite listeners to engage with their content, rate their podcast, and support their projects, all while maintaining their signature humor and heartfelt sincerity.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Courtney Miller [01:14]: "I feel like I look like somebody combined Gus Johnson and Henry Cavill."

• Shane Tatum [02:21]: "I have to keep it for at least a week because we're shooting the second part of Gosh Darn fucking News next."

• Courtney Miller [17:02]: "It's been almost a year. I think in September. Ish was when I found out that I had cancerous cells in my body and it was severe."

• Courtney Miller [37:43]: "I want to normalize my differences and my experiences so that other people can feel comfortable and normal in their weirdness or their experiences."

• Ian Hecox [51:05]: "And there's a huge waterfall like the one behind your head."

• Shane Tatum [57:24]: "If the bear makes an onion volcano on your back."

---

Conclusion

Episode #69 of Smosh Mouth is a compelling blend of personal vulnerability and lighthearted humor. Courtney’s openness about her health journey offers inspiration and solidarity, while Shane and Ian’s anecdotes and jokes provide moments of levity. This episode underscores the strength of the Smosh family, showcasing their ability to navigate serious topics with grace and support, all while keeping their listeners entertained and engaged.

Transcript

[Courtney Miller]

Ramble.

[Shane Tatum]

When that black bear came up to my brother and I's camp, we were both frozen to death. We were terrified.

[Courtney Miller]

This team, it's a family. Like, even at Defy, we're like, it's a family. But, like, this is a family.

[Ian Hecox]

Back in the Sacramento days, our neighbor almost got in a fist fight with our director, Shane.

[Courtney Miller]

You go on runs.

[Shane Tatum]

Yeah. And see, now that I have a mustache, if I come across a serial killer, they'll be like, oh, you're one of us, right? Oh, no, no, no. And he's like, oh, shit.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome to another smash. Cast in our seat in the safety of our own domiciles.

[Shane Tatum]

That's right.

[Courtney Miller]

We are extra docile in these podcasts.

[Ian Hecox]

So we have to, we have to just. Right, right off the bat, we need to talk about Shane's Luke. So for those that are listening and they're not watching the video, watch on YouTube.com smoshcast I believe that's the thing. Shane looks like somebody combined Gus Johnson and Henry Cavill.

[Courtney Miller]

Whoa.

[Shane Tatum]

See what I feel like I look like? And what I've gotten the most references to is Gus Johnson and Nicholas Cage from Raising Arizona.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, dang. Yeah. Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

That's crazy.

[Shane Tatum]

The mustache, definitely. There's something to it, man, because as soon as I shaved off the rest of my facial hair and just left this, I felt different. I feel. I feel simply more powerful. I feel like there's an aura around me that I just. I'm immediately less concerned with most things. You know, I can wear whatever I want now. I. There's really not much stopping me from just walking out in a T shirt and underwear. There's just a freedom there. I'm going to wear swim trunks all over the place.

[Courtney Miller]

Narcissism.

[Shane Tatum]

You know, it's not me. I don't believe in myself. I just believe in the mustache. The mustache is my God. It's actually my new.

[Courtney Miller]

It's.

[Shane Tatum]

You know how everyone has a center? They're either head centered, chest centered, or hip centered. I am now mustache centered.

[Courtney Miller]

You lead with your mustache when you walk.

[Shane Tatum]

I lead with my mustache when I walk.

[Ian Hecox]

How long do you think you're gonna keep the stash?

[Shane Tatum]

Well, I have to keep it for at least a week because we're shooting the second part of Gosh Darn fucking News next.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, my gosh.

[Shane Tatum]

I have to. I, I so, you know, because we shoot Gosh Darn fucking News. We shoot in different parts. We shoot a bunch of the sketchy type stuff at first, and then we Wait, so that we are. We're up on the news and then we shoot all of that the day before it comes out. So we shot a bunch of it already. So I need to keep the mustache for love.

[Courtney Miller]

That.

[Shane Tatum]

That was my excuse. That's my excuse to lock it in.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. Gosh darn fucking news. If you guys haven't seen the first episode, go watch it.

[Courtney Miller]

It's a lot of super silly.

[Ian Hecox]

It's on the main channel and we dec. Hey, I mean, you guys seem to like it at home, so let's make some more. So we're coming out with the second gosh darn fucking news. Or if you got to say it around your parents or, you know, Christian friends, you could just say GDFN.

[Shane Tatum]

It's the spiciest news show on YouTube. We're talking about everything.

[Courtney Miller]

This new show has everything.

[Shane Tatum]

That's right. That's right. Except for the news. We don't really cover the news. We just.

[Ian Hecox]

But there's news in there.

[Courtney Miller]

There's a little bit.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, there's some good news, you know.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. News, bad news, bad news.

[Ian Hecox]

We probably won't sell our new show to CBS Viacom.

[Courtney Miller]

We got some good characters in there. It's going to be a place to try new characters out. Oh my God. I have a new character, guys. Okay, but first I just really want to get back to the mustache thing. I think it's really. I think it's really cool. This whole. At first it was quarantine beard, and now it's quarantine stache.

[Ian Hecox]

So.

[Courtney Miller]

Ian, you're next. Bring the stash, por favor.

[Ian Hecox]

I'm working on my quarantine bowl, as you can see. Whoa, my bowl haircut.

[Courtney Miller]

Look, it's whipping pretty much back everything.

[Ian Hecox]

It has a complete memory of what it used to be. My hair knew exactly once it got to a certain length, it's like, oh, we back to the bowl. Oh, we back to the bowl.

[Courtney Miller]

It's in your DNA.

[Ian Hecox]

It honestly is amazing. It's very strange and I. I don't particularly like it, but I don't really have a choice. So I've.

[Courtney Miller]

My house is a cage, dude.

[Ian Hecox]

I mean, you can elaborate. I mean, not really.

[Courtney Miller]

No, I'm totally. I. Guys, sorry, I don't lay on the sarcasm thick enough, but my sister actually saged my place yesterday.

[Ian Hecox]

No more ghosts.

[Courtney Miller]

I was a little scared of just like, you know, I'm. I don't. I'm not convinced there's ghosts in this apartment. But if there was, wouldn't it be nice to Clean them up and get rid of them. And also, like, I've never really done, like, any saging or anything like that before. Like, I'm like, sure. Like, I believe in. In positive energy. Shane. I saw that little snicker.

[Shane Tatum]

I was laughing at the idea of your guardian angel getting burned up when you're burning the sa. Yeah, I'm here to protect you.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

They never. They never say that there are. There could be good spirits in your house that you're burning away.

[Courtney Miller]

I think so. But it was also. It's also like this place. Like, since the work life, separation isn't really a thing anymore. And sometimes it can be stressful. And, like, I'm here all the time. I. I used to, when I wasn't home as much, I used to come home and be like, my place is so awesome. I love my home. But, like, since I'm here all the time, I'm like, it's here. Whatever. I'm sick of it, everything. So I asked my sister to come and bring some sage, and she did a whole cleansing. And I honestly, I feel a difference. I know it's kind of dumb to some people, but I don't know if it's like the herb just gives a positive smell or like. Or if there's genuinely, like, an energy change, but I feel good. And I rearranged my bedroom yesterday or two days ago completely. Oh, yeah, that feels really good too. Like, change. Like, that is so good.

[Ian Hecox]

Did you put your bed in the corner like I told you to? No, I don't have my bed in the corner, but there was a moment in my life when I had my bed in the corner.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I did that at my old place.

[Ian Hecox]

There's a certain comfort and security to being able to just kind of like, crumple into the corner of a bedroom.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. At my old place, I had my bed against the wall and it feels safe because, like, in a way you're, like, less vulnerable because you're, like, in a corner. I just, like, flipped everything around and my decorations look really good. I'm excited.

[Ian Hecox]

Putting your bed in the middle of the bedroom is king shit.

[Courtney Miller]

It is royal as fuck.

[Shane Tatum]

Space on all sides.

[Courtney Miller]

Just put your bed in the middle of the room. Literally, just.

[Ian Hecox]

Dude, that's some. That's some unrealized king shit.

[Courtney Miller]

And if you get a circular mattress.

[Ian Hecox]

You ever seen somebody with a bathtub in the middle of their bathroom?

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, I've seen them. We. We have filmed in houses that have those. Those tubs.

[Ian Hecox]

That's some. That's some Upper level king shit right there.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

Talk about having a bathtub in the middle. Or when, like, the water comes from the freaking ceiling. Have you ever seen that shit?

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, that's crazy, dude. Like, literally, the. The water comes in from, like, it.

[Ian Hecox]

Drops from, like, the ceiling. Yeah, It's. The funny thing is, so I went to. I. I know somebody that has one of those, and he. He lives in, like, this, like, ultra modern, like, house. And. And I saw his. I saw his. His bathtub, and I was like, oh, shit. You got. The thing with the water comes from the ceiling. That's tight. And he's like, yeah, actually, I never use it because the water comes down and it's coming from such a height that it splashes everywhere. I was like, oh, yeah. I guess that is pretty dumb. You would have thought that with, you know, if you're going to have something that money just that you would have prepared for.

[Courtney Miller]

What's the. It's not asshole design. It's crappy design.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, I'm not. I'm not aware.

[Shane Tatum]

But, yeah, crappy design, as if it's accidentally sucks. And asshole design is when it's on purpose to screw over the consumer.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, those are some Reddit pages that look pretty good.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, man, I would love that.

[Courtney Miller]

I just need water pressure, you know, I want my head to just feel like it's getting whacked with water.

[Shane Tatum]

Yeah. I want Poseidon to put on the boxing gloves and just to go to town, slap you.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, Like, I like the pressure. You guys, so quiet today.

[Ian Hecox]

Making. Making Courtney uncomfortable with silences is.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, I'm down for silence, but I just know we got a pod to.

[Shane Tatum]

Cast, so what if we just did a podcast that was an hour and a half of pure silence.

[Courtney Miller]

Just breathing.

[Shane Tatum]

Yeah, just heavy breathing.

[Courtney Miller]

Guys, I. I think I'm officially the worst tenant at my apartment building.

[Ian Hecox]

Gee, I wonder why it couldn't be all the screaming for videos.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I got to, like, ask. I got to beg the writers, like Monica and Curtin and Cole and Ryan to please stop writing loud dialogue for me. I can't be screaming, calling someone a sociopath who needs professional help. Like, in my apartment, because the quarantine, suite 16. I don't know when that video comes.

[Ian Hecox]

Out yet, but have you had any. Have you gotten any complaints?

[Courtney Miller]

Not yet, but the other day I got. It was the day or a day or two after I had to do this really long screaming monologue, and I had a letter in my mailbox that was, like, from the company where I send my rent To. And I was like, oh, God, is this like a landlord leaving a note? I'm so scared. I took it. I was like, oh, God, what do I do? Do I like, text him and apologize after I read the letter, like, and I open it, and it was just like a How to deal with COVID 19 flyer. And I was like, God, okay. But like, even. Even the neighbor that I like, joke about, like, haha, she's so loud. She yells on your phone and stuff. Like, I'm. I'm worse than her now.

[Ian Hecox]

But you haven't had anyone, like, bang on your wall or on.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, no. People are more passive than that. I feel like people aren't super aggressive, especially in a complex. Everyone's usually nice.

[Ian Hecox]

And usually if people are, like, truly bothered, they'll. They'll give you the old pound on the wall.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. Like, I was rearranging my room the other day, and I was, like, moving heavy furniture and like, dropping stuff. Like, I'm the. I'm the worst. I'm the worst.

[Ian Hecox]

I'm pretty sure you're not. You're just very considerate. You got a job to do. Okay. You know, sometimes you got to make some noise.

[Courtney Miller]

Have you guys ever. Have you guys ever lived in a place that had, like, the worst neighbors?

[Ian Hecox]

Ooh. Well, I mean, our neighbor back. Back in the Sacramento days, our neighbor almost got in a fist fight with our director.

[Courtney Miller]

Which neighbor? The scary ones across the street.

[Ian Hecox]

The scary one that. That lived next to us.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh.

[Ian Hecox]

We were doing, like, an audition thing where we had to curse a lot outside. And it's like, we didn't write that. We were just doing an audition. And he, like, came out and he literally said, stop fucking cursing.

[Courtney Miller]

Whoa.

[Ian Hecox]

He's like, this is a nice neighborhood. You guys better fucking stop cursing out there.

[Courtney Miller]

How did a fight almost happen?

[Shane Tatum]

This is a fucking neighborhood of God.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. He's like, this is a nice fucking neighborhood. And it's like, bro, your two neighbors are us and the highway.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. Yep.

[Ian Hecox]

It's not the best neighborhood. It's not a nice, quiet neighborhood. There's literally a thousand semi trucks that drive by the house.

[Courtney Miller]

Do you think he was just, like, building up frustration from, like, months and months of hearing you guys being loud and filming all the time? And it was like this was the final straw, or.

[Ian Hecox]

I think it was like our roommate threw parties at our house semi regularly.

[Courtney Miller]

And the party house.

[Ian Hecox]

The party house. But since he wore a suit for his job, I think the neighbor assumed that we were the. We were the people always throwing parties. And fudgeing around. And I think he was just going through some personal stuff. I think. I think really, like, a lot of neighborly anger comes out at people. Not because of the neighbors causing the problems.

[Courtney Miller]

Yes.

[Ian Hecox]

But the problems that are happening internally.

[Courtney Miller]

That makes sense.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. Because I think he got better. And then. And then when we moved out of the house, but we were still shooting there, all of a sudden he got, like, way nicer way nicer to us. He was like. He's like, oh, do you need me to move my cars? Because he would always park his cars, like, on the street. He got, like, super nice. But he did. He did actually get into a fist fight with our landlord.

[Shane Tatum]

That's awesome.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, that's metals.

[Courtney Miller]

So he just, like, really wanted to fight, huh? He was just, like, looking for a fight. He just was like, I just really want to test my strength. Like, I want to see if I really can land a few.

[Ian Hecox]

Like, I don't know, man. I think he was just going through some shit back then. We were really annoyed with him, but. But now I can look back and be like, okay, he was probably just going through some stuff.

[Courtney Miller]

That's usually the case. Shane, have you ever had, like, wild neighbors, other than the ghosts in your apartments?

[Ian Hecox]

Do you have ghosts in your apartments?

[Shane Tatum]

No, I did. No, I had. I had weird, weird stuff.

[Courtney Miller]

They're on other episodes of things.

[Shane Tatum]

Yeah, that was forever ago here. I've definitely heard people yelling, like. Like a dog was barking a couple of weeks ago, and someone was like.

[Ian Hecox]

Shut your fucking dog up. Oh, come on.

[Shane Tatum]

And then I did hear my landlord get in a fight with some guy, and the guy, like, called her a fucking bitch and stuff. People can.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, my God. That's. That's at your current place. Like, that's my current place recently.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Shane Tatum]

I'll just sometimes hear it and I'll quarantine, man.

[Ian Hecox]

Tensions are running high.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Shane Tatum]

Yeah. It doesn't happen too often. Overall, I. I have only once. When I first moved in, I was putting up frames and it was. It was like later in the night. It was like 9, 30, 10. So I get it. And my landlord knocked on our door and was just like, it's really loud. That was all. But I think that's because it's like hammering against a wall really goes to the next wall. Whereas if you're just, like, being loud, it doesn't always make it through the walls. I don't know. I hope not.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I've, like. I've, like, gone out into my courtyard and seen a couple Tenants there. I'm being like, hey, sorry about earlier. Like, my job requires me to do that. And they're like, I don't fucking care. But it's like, two neighbors that don't live directly next to me or below me. Everyone. Everyone in my complex is really chill. They all seem like. To hang out and talk. And, like, there's a young mom who lives below me. She, like, gave me banana bread one time that had chocolate chips in it.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, shoot.

[Courtney Miller]

They're really sweet. And she has, like, a dog that I might. When things, like, when it's not, like, super, like, I don't know if it's okay to pet dogs right now. Like, maybe I can offer to take care of her dog sometimes for her, Take it on walks when she's too busy.

[Ian Hecox]

Just want a fur baby.

[Courtney Miller]

I literally have not touched a dog since. I can't even remember since before Australia. Like, it's been months.

[Ian Hecox]

I'm telling you, man, just come through. I'll put my doggie out front. You could drive by, pet my dog. She's. She's relatively clean right now. I gave her.

[Courtney Miller]

You did give her a bath. I saw. Good job.

[Ian Hecox]

She lost, like, 30 pounds in fur.

[Courtney Miller]

Do you ever. You should get, like, those brushes that you get to, like, comb out the fur. It's so satisfying.

[Ian Hecox]

That's what I. Yeah, that's what I did.

[Courtney Miller]

Those, like, little metal combs. Mm, nice.

[Ian Hecox]

It's got, like, little buttons. So you, like, You. You know, brush, and then you. Anyway, we're talking about dog fur. It's not important. So, Bort, you've been through. You've been through a year of. Of trials and tribulations that you've kind of. I mean, you've. You know, we've. We've talked about it a little bit privately, but we've. You know, out of respect for. Out of respect for you, we've just kind of kept it out of the Internet's view. But you've been dealing with some health stuff. You're now in a better place. You feel comfortable talking about that now.

[Courtney Miller]

It's crazy, because during all this wild, insane pandemic stuff, some people found an episode of why We're Bad. Like, me and Shane's show, where I'm like, Guys, 2020. I'm gonna focus on health. It's gonna be really important. And, like, everyone's like, she knew what was gonna happen, and I didn't. At that point, I wasn't ready to talk about what I was actually meaning, because I wasn't entirely out of the woods yet. But as of recently, through all of this craziness, I was somehow able to get to the doctor and really be officially told, like, I'm good. Yeah, it's been almost a year. I think in September. Ish was when I found out that I had cancerous cells in my body and it was severe. And I was so, so floored that, like, dude, that changed me for months. Like, you. You guys saw me go through it. Shane was, like, right next to me as I was, like, figuring stuff out in the office. Like, it was during a workday, actually. I almost wish Monica was here because I had gotten my checkup and Monica and I had gotten lunch and we were driving back and I was like, oh, phone call. I'm sure it's gonna be fine. And I answered on speaker and my doctor's like, hi. We got some test results back and it was like, oh. And Monica was like, oh, my God. But, yeah, it was really scary. I mean, like.

[Ian Hecox]

And this is. This is lady business stuff, right?

[Courtney Miller]

This was. Yeah. So I had. They were. They were concerned that I was gonna have cervical cancer.

[Ian Hecox]

They found pre Cancerous cells in your cervix?

[Courtney Miller]

Uh, yes. And it was severe. It was like. I Forget if it's T3, what they call it, or like C3 or something like that, but it was really frustrating because she would use, like, severe and, like, where the doctor would use those words. But then she'd be like, but like, no rush. If you wanna, like, come in and we can figure. I'm like, I'm. We need to figure this out now. I was like, there's no way. I'm just sitting on this. Even though I had to ended up having to, like, just sit and deal with it for months because I wanted to get another opinion from another doctor. And it was really good doctor. But I had to wait, like, two months for my appointment. So it was just like two months of like, no.

[Ian Hecox]

And it's just so scary because, like, you. It's not something that you can. That you can see.

[Courtney Miller]

No.

[Ian Hecox]

It's not like a wart on your hand where you can, like, look at.

[Courtney Miller]

It and be like, oh, this is.

[Ian Hecox]

This isn't too bad. It's like you're. You're just kind of left with this constant shadow of something that you have no idea if it's so bad.

[Courtney Miller]

Exactly. That's why it's so important to get your. Your regular checkups. Because if I just wasn't. If I wasn't going to that doctor, I would never have known. And who knows. Who knows what could have happened? Because I ended up that second doctor who was like, a little bit better bedside manner and a better communication with what I was dealing with. And you made me feel a little bit better about the situation. Agreed. Like, yes, this is something that you should get surgery for and, like, get this. This thing removed. Because it was like. Yeah, it was just like. Oh, God, it was such a. I also, like, I was having a. I was dealing with a phobia of, like, medical exams. Like, just, like, for some reason, it was just felt super invasive, and I was having panic attacks just, like, thinking about it.

[Ian Hecox]

Well, it is super invasive.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. It's awful.

[Ian Hecox]

I mean, there's. There's, you know, even.

[Courtney Miller]

Even during.

[Ian Hecox]

No shame in that.

[Courtney Miller]

Even during, like, preparing for the surgery, which was my first surgery in my life. Like, I never had anything done before. Like, even just sitting there with, like, the tube in my arm. God, I hate the idea of things that aren't my body in my body, you know? Like, totally.

[Ian Hecox]

I totally. Like, it's. I've had. I've had the iv. I think I've only had one or two, but it's. It's so gross. And I think the problem is, I think about, like, the internal, like, the. The needle being inside me.

[Shane Tatum]

Like.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. Why? Like, what if it breaks off or.

[Ian Hecox]

Something and it's just. And it's just there. Exactly. I think, like, what if. What if. What if I jerk my arm and it. And it ripped and it's so funny because, like. Because, like, you know, I was with Pam for a long time. She's been through a million medical things.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

And she's just like, no, she's no biggie about it. She's just like, so what?

[Courtney Miller]

She's got the golden giant belt of medical.

[Ian Hecox]

Like, yeah. So. So funny because I'm such a fricking weenie about that stuff. But, yeah, I mean, like, I don't think there's any shame in. And, like, being afraid of a procedure. Like, yeah, I think. I think most people are, but I was afraid to go through something like that.

[Courtney Miller]

I knew when I was first figuring out that these. This, this. These cancer cells were, like, in my body. I was like, crap, I'm going to have to go through multiple, like, exams and figuring out what this is. And, like, this phobia. It was getting to the point where, like, I'd be in the office and crying and, like, my heart, like, my entire body shaking because I was so afraid. Afraid of the exam. Just. It felt like, so invasive. Even though, like, it really isn't. Like, in a lot of ways it's just not. So I decided to go to the hypnotherapist. Like, because we had Andrew and Cole on from podcast, but outside and Andrew talked about his, his hypnotherapist who helped him with his fear of flying. So I was like, you know what? Like, I don't know how else to like get over this fear. So I ended up asking him for the info and I went and it was such an, like a bizarre experience. And I really felt like, oh, this is working, like, and I would listen to this tape every night, like, to try and get rid of this fear. And like, it didn't work. Like, I went to that second doctor and I had the worst physical, like, reaction to being like, checked out by far my, my entire body. Like, it made it difficult for him to check things out because my body was just like, not allowing anything to happen.

[Ian Hecox]

Like, yeah, I mean it's, it's a trauma.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. You know, and it's not like I have, I have like, listen, I've experienced scary things in my life, but like, nothing severely traumatic to like mess me up like that. I'm very fortunate to not have experienced anything. But it's like my brain, man, like sometimes my head just like will be in a spiral of thoughts and like, I will just get myself into like a fear. Like I'm. I ended up like getting into CBD to help me calm down before appointments, which I now and totally trust because like, lately, like, I had did it before going to the doctor to make sure I was all good. It just makes me feel calm and I'm severely more relaxed and I'm not like crying or anything. But yeah, I had to have that surgery. And like, that was around the time when we were like filming the Fears shoot, like with Olivia and Shane. And I was originally supposed to have one because I have that weird fear of like my belly button being reopened.

[Ian Hecox]

Uh huh.

[Courtney Miller]

And we were like, yeah, we'll do video. We make it look like we're opening up your belly button. And I was like, oh, okay. But then like, I realized the set was a hospital bed. And I was like, oh no. Like, thinking like, maybe I can push through it and like still do a good video. But like, driving to the shoot, I was like, started crying. I was breathing heavily, like I couldn't calm down. And I was like texting Matt Rob. I was like, I can't, I can't do this. And like, I had to like go to therapy that day. I like, literally was like, not okay. So.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. And like we also did video. We weren't familiar with the, the sort of. The phobia with what was going on in your life in regards to like you being afraid of like medical.

[Courtney Miller]

Because that's.

[Ian Hecox]

Because we obviously we don't want to trigger people's like, you know, traumas that are associated with something like that traumatic. Like Shane finds dolls very scary and creepy, but I don't think a doll has ever, it's not a Threatened. Threatened his life. Yeah.

[Shane Tatum]

It's not a.

[Ian Hecox]

So yeah, I mean, if we knew about that, I wouldn't, I wouldn't put you in that situation. I mean.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

Did we go a little, did we go a little far with Olivia?

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Shane Tatum]

Well, the problem, the problem is we, we psychologically speaking, we went about treating a phobia the worst way. We actually probably made her phobia worse. And she later said that confirmed. You're supposed to like slowly introduce.

[Courtney Miller]

Integrate it.

[Shane Tatum]

Yeah, integrate it. So we just instead threw a bucket of butterflies in her face.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, we did.

[Shane Tatum]

Which caused a very visceral reaction from.

[Courtney Miller]

Olivia and I also, like, I'm sure, like, she didn't want to do it maybe in the beginning of the day, but like we have this thing where we're like, I can do it. Like, no, I don't want to say no to this thing. Thing that you guys believe that I could do. Well. Like. And yeah, you guys, there's also the feeling.

[Shane Tatum]

There's also the feeling that you're, you're not doing your job.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Shane Tatum]

If you refuse, like, God, I'm too.

[Courtney Miller]

Scared to flip burgers today. I can't. I gotta go home. Like.

[Ian Hecox]

Right, right. It doesn't feel good. Yeah. In, in Olivia's case, we, we leaned a little too far into the entertainment value and, and less into. Because like with, with yours, Shane, it's like, it's like we were creating something kind of silly and we were able to go overboard because we figured dolls make you uncomfortable, but they don't probably don't make you break down. We knew Olivia was afraid of butterflies, but we. Yeah, I think, I think we might have gone a little overboard with, you know, building a giant six foot tall butterfly poster enclosing a room where there's a bunch of live butterflies flying around.

[Courtney Miller]

It seems a little bit. I haven't seen the video. I can't.

[Ian Hecox]

It seemed a little bit more what we should have been going for when we, when we, when we all went in there. With her and, you know, sort of had her open up a box and kind of see like one butterfly. Like, look at this. And it's like, you know, it's very nice and it's. And it's just a nice little bug and it's going to fly away and it's not going to harm you. That's probably the direction we should have gone in with Courtney. We knew she was. Belly buttons make her uncomfortable. So the plan was gonna be take this telescopic camera and put it into her belly button to show her in her belly button. And then what we were gonna do is then switch the video feed to something that would make it look like it was opening up.

[Courtney Miller]

And luckily Matt Rob was cool and they wanted me to feel comfor. Like they really were doing everything that they could to like, make sure I was gonna feel okay. Like, they told me that that was gonna happen, like leading up closer to it because like, the more. The closer we got, the more afraid I got. Cause like, I literally, in the beginning, I was like, oh, I'll be fine. It's literally fine. But I. You don't really realize it until you're like almost in it. You know, when it like hits you like, oh, this is really happening. And like, speaking of that feeling, like when I was first told, it's crazy because they were like, hey, we got some results. We just would like you to come in and talk about them. And I was like, what the hell does that mean? And I was like, no, tell me now. And finally they let me know what they found. It is such an earth shaking feeling of this can happen to me. Growing up, whenever my family got sick, we never went to the doctor. I always felt like my had good strong genes where like, we could always like overcome any. Anything. Like, like we don't have like a history of like cancer really. I mean, a little bit like, like breast cancer stuff on my dad's side. But like, I just like never thought anything like that would ever happen to me. Like, I never thought that would be the thing. It was severely existential. But like, I was so lucky cause like, people like Shane and like Olivia were checking on me and like, Damian was there for me as well. Like, Olivia was the first person I called because you know how we joke about, like you have HPV on, on like try not to laugh and stuff like that because like, she, she joked about like she went through that kind of stuff in a different way, way, way back. And so like I. I called her and I was just. Dude, I was Crying so much that day, I was like. Because mythical has, like, this little patio that people like to work on. And I was just, like, sitting out there dealing with it. And then months later, I had my surgery. And, like, that was so weird. Surgery's weird. They, like, put you in a gown, in a chair, and then they put, like, a tube blowing warm air into your gown so you're nice and warm in your gown, in your chair. The doctor, she comes in, she's like, hey, how you doing? All right. It'll be like, 45 minutes. Get in there. Get out, like. And they. Ugh. It's so weird. You get on a bed, and they're just, like. They wheel you in. And I literally felt like I was in Fallout 4. When you enter a room in, a scene is starting, not a cut scene, but, like. Like, everything is clearly staged because, like, the double doors open, and this man turns around, and then there's this crazy big bed with, like, lights and things hanging down. And, like, he's like, oh, hello. And I'm like, what the hell is going on? And I remember going to sleep, and then I woke up an hour later, and, like, I couldn't stop. My eyes were just watering. I couldn't stop crying. For some reason, they're like, oh, that's normal in young patients from the anesthesia, whatever. They didn't send me home with, like, any pain medication or anything, because I don't. I'm like, My whole family, like, we're weird about, like, the. The oxycodones or the. The Percocets or Norcos, any of that. Like, my dad, even after his knee surgery, was like, oh, just. Just strong ibuprofen is fine. I don't like anything like that. But when I got home, I, like, couldn't even move. My ab. My lower abdomen was in so much pain. We got, like, a heating pack. I was taking Advil, and I was just. Oh, my God. I'd never felt. And, ladies, it basically felt like your worst period cramp of your entire life, but it's never ending. That's what it felt like. And I finally, like, I don't really smoke weed, guys. Like, it's not a common thing that I do, but I had. I invested in a CBD little THC pen for. For it to calm me down. I literally had gotten it right around the time that I learned about. About the cancer cells, because I was like. I just. Like, my anxiety as a person is already so high that, like, this. This feels like it could be something to help Me, because I think too much. Like, I can't. I can. I can try and meditate, but, like, my brain is just like, nope, we're still here. The problem still exists. So I had that and I finally, like, used that, and the pain went away finally. So I didn't have to go to the hospital or get a prescription called in or anything. But.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, because that pain lasts for, like, a good week or two, right?

[Courtney Miller]

It was a few days. Yeah. That was. That was insane. And then I wasn't allowed to work out for, like, two months. And that was like. No.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Because that was keeping me docile. Talk about docile. At the beginning of this episode, that. That keeps me sane. And so I couldn't. Oh, man. I wasn't myself. I just wasn't myself for, like, four or five months. Man. That was crazy.

[Ian Hecox]

Because I think, like, what they did with, like, your. With your issue, right, is they like, they essentially, like wherever the cells are, they just kind of like, take a cone.

[Courtney Miller]

It wasn't the cone procedure. It was like they. They have a new one that takes off. It doesn't affect you as much because they basically. It's like a hot, like, ring where it goes. Oh.

[Ian Hecox]

A hot ring.

[Courtney Miller]

It's like, you know, when they, like, cut, like, cauterize hot wire kind of. It, like, was like a small. Because, like, I guess where. Where the cells were. And apparently I. I possibly did have something that they were worried about. Like, they were worried I had the cancer or the HPV or something, but, like, I may have killed it on my own because, like, apparently the second doctor I went to who was really good and really helpful and, like, generally, like, just more caring, he's told me, like, homeopathic things, like, turmeric is really good for cervical stuff as well as, like, broccoli, like, lightly steamed. And like, I was at the time, I was eating hella broccoli and taking a lot of those immunity shots that have turmeric in it.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. I mean, with hpv, it's a. It's a virus that your body can. Can basically get rid of on its own.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. Yeah. But when I. Because he's. He saw. He saw the. The spot where the. The cells were, and he's like, yeah, it looks like there was something, but it was gone. And he told me those. Those ingredients that help you. And I was like, oh, yeah, I actually take those. And he was like, yeah, so it's possible you. You handled it, but you still have to remove this thing. Yo.

[Ian Hecox]

But the cervix is crazy, though, because it can just regenerate itself. Yeah, dude, it's like, bodies be crazy. Like, that cervix. You. You cervix, and it just, like, grows back like you're fucking Wolverine.

[Courtney Miller]

It's a magical sphincter, dude. Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

Hell yeah, dude.

[Courtney Miller]

Hell yeah, dude. My. My sphincter.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, we saw a shirt with that.

[Courtney Miller]

My magical sphincter. But, yeah, that was my first time ever having, like, a severe medical thing. I, Like, I've never broken a bone, knock on wood. I've had, like, stitches on my cheek and chin. But, yeah, that was. That was a very scary. I was, like, not okay, dude. I was a soft boy.

[Ian Hecox]

I mean, like, even though. Even though you. You wound up being okay, and it wasn't. It wasn't as, you know, quote unquote severe as. As other people, it still does put your life into a perspective, and it makes you realize, like, what am I doing with. With my life if. If this is how much time I may or may not have exactly? Am I planning everything 30 years out for a future that might not even be here?

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, that's bleak. But, I mean, I definitely puts you in. It puts you in perspective of, like, mortality, you know?

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, we.

[Courtney Miller]

And we've talked about mortality in many ways on this podcast, but, like, yeah, that. It's scary. Cause, like, you don't want to think about that stuff because it's like, I'm just goofing around with my boy bullies today. I don't need to worry about, like, what, like a meteorite potentially hitting me. You don't want to think about the things that can take away the things you love.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. Not that I'm saying you shouldn't plan for the future.

[Courtney Miller]

No, I know, but it's easy to forget about that stuff. And when you're. When you're reminded in such a scary way, it's. It changes you. It definitely changes you. But I'm. I'm so lucky that I had you guys around. And, like, the whole team was so helpful. Like, I remember sending out this long email just, like, breaking down to the senior staff of, like, what I was gonna be dealing with and that. What I needed emotionally from them. And, like, everyone was so nice. Like, our team is just so sick. Like, we have the best, most supportive people that, like, it's just so different from what it used to be like. And I don't know how I would have gone about this at defy. Like, I didn't. I didn't feel, like, safe with our team. But, like, this team is, like, such a good. It's like, it's a family. Like, even at defy, we're like, it's a family. But, like, this is a family. This is, like. I don't know. Like, I can't even comprehend a better work situation than I have. And it's like. It's because you guys are so sweet, and, Ian, you were so sweet, and, like, I feel stupid because I never talked to Pam about it. I never talked to Pam when I was dealing with this stuff. I think it was because it was so overwhelming, and I didn't. The more people I, like, talked about it with, the more real it felt. So I was like, oh, I don't. I don't. Like, I don't want to bring more of that energy in. I also, like, because she. Because if there's anyone to talk about it with, it's her, dude. Because she's been through it. Like. Yeah, but her and I, we did talk recently, and I think I maybe talked to her about it a little bit. But. Yeah, but, like, Ian, you were so sweet, and just, like, I was just. I was definitely surprised at how quickly everyone is like, oh, absolutely. Like, you're fine. Do what you need to do. Like, take your time that you need. I just never expected that. And I was. I felt. I felt very lucky, and I don't know how I would have dealt with it otherwise. So. Yeah. What a weird six months, man. That was crazy.

[Ian Hecox]

Was it six months?

[Courtney Miller]

The brunt of it. The brunt of it. And then I was. Months ago, I was supposed. Supposed to be examined and checked out to see, like, what they did worked. But then all this crazy tour happened, Australia happened, and now this pandemic. So, like, finally my doctor was like, okay, let's just get you in here. Like, I. I had to go through multiple waves of being. Having my temperature checked just to get in the building.

[Ian Hecox]

But you got checked out, and you're all cleared.

[Courtney Miller]

Got checked out, and it's. It's. I'm out of the woods, baby.

[Ian Hecox]

Whoa, whoa. Yay.

[Courtney Miller]

Thanks. And, you know, like, it happens to women all the time. Like, a few years from now, I might, like, get another abnormal result, but, like, I feel just generally good about it. And, yeah, I was scared. I was scared to talk about it in any way before because I was like, well, what if it's, like, not over?

[Ian Hecox]

But I think, like, the most important thing to take away from this is, like, you know, other women out there to get regular checkups if you have. If you're in the US and you have health insurance.

[Courtney Miller]

That's the only reason I share anything is because, like, I want. I. I want people to not feel alone. Like, I. I came out on this podcast, like, and I do those things. It's like, normalize the things that people, A lot of people don't see as normal. Like, yes, it's okay to not be, like, physically perfect, or it's okay to be different. And I just want to normalize my differences and my experiences so that other people can feel comfortable and normal in their weirdness or their experiences. So that's why I love this. I'm fucking weird, dude. And this podcast lets me do it. I go off. Ah, I'm gonna get a mustache.

[Ian Hecox]

It wouldn't show. You're too blonde. You're too blonde for that.

[Courtney Miller]

I don't know. After that surgery, I was like, I can handle surgery, man. I'm gonna get a surgically put on mustache.

[Ian Hecox]

You're gonna have like a. You're gonna have a flesh.

[Courtney Miller]

Flesh mustache transplant. Cody KO has a mustache too.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

And he's getting. Yeah, he apparently did a video where he has his fans roast his mustache. But I was just listening to the. Their Tiny Meat Gang podcast and, like, apparently Cody went surfing and, like, some dude went up to him, was like, hey, man, I've been staring at you a lot. I'm really sorry. I'm just really high right now. And like, your mustache is like the perfect dad mustache, man. And I just. I'm trying to get like you, so just want to let you know I like what you're doing. And Cody was like, that's all I needed to hear. I'm keeping this mustache forever.

[Ian Hecox]

I feel like there's been, like, a group of YouTubers that have been attempting the stash.

[Courtney Miller]

It's a great time to mess around.

[Ian Hecox]

Cause I know, I know Matt Watson did it, and I think he got roasted pretty hard.

[Courtney Miller]

Matt, Rob. Just thinking of mustaches. Him and I have been competing lately, so we both have our Apple watches. And so, like, with the fitness feature, you can compete with your friends. And for the first couple weeks, I was winning, but he's been kicking my ass. He just beat me this week, apparently. Cause he's doing 100 sit ups, 100 push ups. He's doing the fricking one man punch workout. Dude.

[Ian Hecox]

One man punch. I like that.

[Courtney Miller]

Or one punch, man. Yeah, one man punch. Just punch one man.

[Ian Hecox]

Yo, I took one man punch. That's all it takes, one man. But yeah, no, Matt, Rob, Matt, Rob. He's not telling. He's not really, like, telling anybody.

[Courtney Miller]

No, he's.

[Ian Hecox]

He's like.

[Courtney Miller]

He's. I want to see what his quarantine bod looks like.

[Ian Hecox]

After talking about working out, my stomach just gurgled.

[Courtney Miller]

It was like, your stomach just like, you know.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, because I had that. I had that thing I was saying I wanted to be last. Last season of Parks and Rec, Chris Pratt, but I've been kind of failing on that to be completely.

[Courtney Miller]

I mean, you need steroids to do that, so.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, is that what he did?

[Courtney Miller]

I think every. I mean, I'm not gonna, like, make an official claim, but, like, I'm pretty sure a lot of those people who had to get marvel bodies, like, super fast didn't do it naturally. Like, no way.

[Ian Hecox]

Shane, you seem to have something to say about.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, you've been having that.

[Shane Tatum]

Well, there's. It's that post from. What's his name? Mac. From. From. It's always. Oh, yeah, he made a perfect post where he's. He's. Because he got all buff after being fat Mac. And was like, guys, it's super easy. All you need to do is have a personal trainer that you work out with three hours a day at minimum, a nutritionist who designs all of your meals, and also, like, all this stuff.

[Ian Hecox]

It's whether or not the fitness expert who did Magic Mike.

[Shane Tatum]

Yeah. Whether or not you have. And yes, probably a lot of them have some version of human growth hormone. It may not be literal anabolic steroids, but they have. At the very least, even if they're just working out naturally, they have a. They're spending a lot of money or they have people spending the money to get them a team that will. And also they get to. That gets to be their job. They get to work out all day. Like it requires. It requires an athlete's regimen to look like that. And no person has that time.

[Ian Hecox]

True, though, because like also isn't like, like building that kind of mass. Like, you also just have to sleep a lot as well.

[Courtney Miller]

You eat, like, every two hours.

[Ian Hecox]

Sleep a lot.

[Shane Tatum]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

Depending on your.

[Shane Tatum]

My friend. I have a friend who is a friend of Taylor Lautner's back when New Moon was getting.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Shane Tatum]

And he.

[Ian Hecox]

When he was told. Yeah, he was the backstory on that.

[Shane Tatum]

So he was going to get recast by the lawnmower guy in. In Desperate Housewives. That was the. He was. He was going to get replaced. And they were like, unless you gain whatever 40 pounds in the next two months or three months. And so my Friend who was in an acting class with him was like, yeah, he had a bag of hamburger patties or like, just something that he was just eating, like, constantly. And it's, It's. It's brutal. It's so much work. And it goes away immediately, too, because I saw him at a premiere a couple years later and, like, he slimmed down hard because, like, it just goes away. It just goes away so fast.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, like, I've watched this. I watched this documentary about wrestlers called beyond the Mat, I think it was. And. And it was just kind of following, like, this obsession with. With, like, being just gigantic and how, like. Like way back in the day, like, you know, bodybuilder men just kind of looked like, ordinary. Yeah, there's been this. There's been this, like, weird, because it's like this sort of, like, superhero culture. And like, you know, bodybuilders like Arnold Schwarzenegger have, like, sort of reshaped people's idea of, like, masculinity as far as, like, as far as, like, the ideal male form, you know, and it's. And it's like all these dudes that they're like 40 or 50 and they just had to put their entire lives into just, like, looking huge in the hopes that they get this job as a wrestler. And it's like, bro, like, dudes, like, living, like, he's, like, living out of his van and working out at the Gold's Gym that Arnold Schwarzenegger got. Got popular in. It's like.

[Courtney Miller]

I think I heard a thing online about Robert Pattinson refusing to work out during quarantine because he's doing Batman, right? And he was like. And I think I saw, from what I read, it was like, oh, well, people in the 70s didn't look like this. Like, they didn't look like a Marvel body. So he, like, just was refusing to work out. I don't know if that's the same situation now. It was a little bit ago, but that was interesting. I mean, it's true. Like, you look at fit people back in the day, they just look like average dudes now.

[Ian Hecox]

Like, yeah, 100. Like, was like, what's. What's his name? Jack Lalanne or whatever. He was like, yeah, sort of like fitness guy. Like, you look at him and he's like, yeah, you're like a fit, like guy, but you look like you'd be crushed by pretty much every LA fitness bro that I see at the gym.

[Shane Tatum]

Like, he was probably healthier, though. He lived to be 95, and I think he was jogging five miles per day up towards like in his, into his 90s. Damn, boy, he was in great. Arnold. Arnold Schwarzenegger even said like that Jack lalanne was one of like an inspiration to him. So yeah, like fitness, fitness, health wise, Jack lalanne is maybe one of the healthiest people of the past century.

[Courtney Miller]

I hate running, man. Lately I'm just like, I don't want to do it. It's so boring.

[Shane Tatum]

It's never, it's never fun.

[Ian Hecox]

I'm not gonna argue with that.

[Courtney Miller]

Argue.

[Ian Hecox]

There's no, there's no point in our. Well, boring. Is doing sit ups. Is doing sit ups that much more exciting?

[Courtney Miller]

I don't do sit ups. I Even my core workout, I follow a video because I'm. That I'm that much of a weak ass and I need a screen to entertain me while I work out.

[Ian Hecox]

I've been like, what I do is like. Because I, I normally do this one route but there's far too many people on it now. So I just run through my neighborhood.

[Courtney Miller]

And that's some hills.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, it's like a hill workout too. But I'm just like marveling at like all the different like architecture in my, in my neighborhood. And like every time I run I'll take like one different street or something and just like see like a new, a new like interesting looking house or like, oh, they have like a very nice like garden or something. So I'm very like easily distracted, as I'm sure you guys know. So running for me, I always find things to look at.

[Courtney Miller]

I will say I don't mean to shut anything down because everything you're saying is so true. Kevin, our shredded ear, who's running this podcast right now, he took me on a run once. That was my first run run in forever. Because years ago I had this weirdo come at me with a chloroform cloth and I was scared off running for years.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, I don't know why. I don't know why you'd be scared of that.

[Courtney Miller]

I don't know, it's just spooky.

[Shane Tatum]

Cut to earlier in this pod. Yeah, I've never had anything traumatic happen to me. Yeah. This one time I was nearly fucking murdered.

[Courtney Miller]

I know, I know. But that time, like, it was so fast. Cause like he ended up running right past me because he realized there was people around. So a lot of bad things could have happened to me in my life, but they just haven't. But so nowadays when I do run, it's either I'm. I have a dog with Me, or it's in a very public place, or I'm with someone like Kevin. So when Kevin took me on that run for the first time, forever, we ran past a donut shop. And you, like, you smell the smells, you see the people. It feels much safer. Whereas, like, nowadays, if I'm running by myself, I have to do it in a very public place.

[Ian Hecox]

Also, also in la, like, it's. It's so much, you know, built around transportation, like, with cars, that the chance to actually go out on the street as a pedestrian, it's tough. And sidewalks just seems so. So, like, different.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. Like, it's. So to be safe, I usually will either go to this park where it's like a trail that lots of people are doing laps on, which, like, isn't safe in another way, you know, or I'll try and, like, run around my neighborhood. And even then I'm super nervous. Like, I try and stay, stay on super main streets. But, like, then I run the risk of people seeing me. Because then the other day, I think I told Shane this, but, like, I think I got recognized on a run. This, this. I remember I was running and I look up and this girl is on a bicycle and she, like, nods, but then she. Then there's like that secondary look. Like, wait, you know, when you. When you're usually getting recognized. I was like, that was weird. And I'm like, jogging kind of slow and all of a sudden she comes up on my other side. And I was like, jesus fucking Christ. I literally said it out loud. And so she heard me curse. I had headphones in. So, like, I was like, whatever. And she wrote a circle around me and, like, was looking at me and I was like, what the fudge? And I picked up my pace and eventually she, like, stopped and left me alone. But I was like, there's no way I'm stop. Especially now. Like, I'm not going to stop and talk to a person that I don't know right now.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

And then, like, just people are weird. Like, I've had a guy, I just happened to look up and I see a dude filming me from his van as he's driving by. Like, people are just creepy, right? As a chick, it's fucking hard to. And even scary things happen to men sometimes. Like, no one's really safe and don't mean to get spooky. But, like, it's tough. There's a lot of give and take with running. And I'm also like, I can't do the same route too many times because you like? It sucks, man. It sucks.

[Ian Hecox]

But also, I'm surprised you run with headphones.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, trust me, I'm doing the periodic, like, yeah. Oh, look over the shoulder. And it's usually like a podcast, so it's not like, music blaring. I can't. I can't really. Music is fine when I run, but it's usually tiny Me, King or Crystal. A podcast. Like, I like conversation.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

But, yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

Do you ever find yourself laughing, like, on your run because of whatever you're listening to and you feel like you look like a crazy person?

[Courtney Miller]

Um, I think I definitely, like, will realize I'm laughing in public and be like, oh, I wonder what people think of this. But I feel like podcasts are normal enough nowadays that I'm fine. Do you, Shane, you go on runs too?

[Shane Tatum]

Uh, yeah. And see, now that I have a mustache, if I come across. If I come across a serial killer, they'll be like, oh, you're one of us, right? Oh, no, no, no. And he's like, oh, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, I don't jog too much. I should more. Because it's so good for you.

[Ian Hecox]

Olivia's been running.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, Olivia's been running a whole bunch of. Killing it. They're running miles and miles.

[Shane Tatum]

I was a treadmill boy at the gym, so I would do that a lot. I think my jam that I want to start doing is I. Well, I need to, because I'm going to be doing it soon, but I need to start hiking more. I think I'm going to start just hiking mountains whenever I can.

[Ian Hecox]

That's. There's. There's such good hiking trails in Los Angeles. Like.

[Shane Tatum]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

And Malibu is great.

[Shane Tatum]

Yeah. We have a lot of different terrains because you've got Malibu hiking and then you've got Angeles forest hiking, which are very opposite.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. And there's just like these, like, weird, like, little, like, sort of like biomes within the forest, like in the river areas or like in the sort of, like, canyons. Like, the weather is, like, it's so different.

[Courtney Miller]

I want to go cliff diving.

[Ian Hecox]

It's. Yeah, I went on. I went on this. This hike last. Last week. It was probably the best hike I've done in Los Angeles. Like, it was so cool. There's a. There's a huge waterfall like the one behind your head.

[Courtney Miller]

Shane and Brennan took that picture.

[Ian Hecox]

I saw friggin. There was a bear cub. Like, I walked out of this outhouse. I heard people go like, oh, there's a bear There's a bear. I was like, what? And I, like, open up the door of the outhouse, and there's a bear cub, like, what, 30ft away from me?

[Courtney Miller]

And it's like, mama.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. I was like, I'm getting the fuck out of here.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

And then this was, like, an area where, like, a lot of what I'll call the basics were. Because. Because there's a waterfall, all this sort of basics will come onto the trail with, like, their Starbucks cups, and they're wearing, like, Nikes. They have boom boxes playing music, and they have, like, little children and stuff. And. And so this bear cub, like, comes down the hill, and there's, like, 30, 40 people there in this little area, and they all start, like, crowding to see the bear.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh.

[Ian Hecox]

And I'm like, yo, all right. This is a wild animal. And also, like, the number one thing that you should know that you probably don't because you're a basic, is if there's a baby bear, mama bear is nearby. And that's the. One of the only times that, like, a black bear will be aggressive is if you're near the. The baby. So get the fuck out of here. Like. And everyone was just, like, standing around taking pictures. So, like, I'm like, no, I'm not going to be a part of this. So I walk away.

[Courtney Miller]

Wait, did you actually try and tell them to leave?

[Ian Hecox]

No, there was just, like, people. But.

[Courtney Miller]

But Ian coming in.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, it was a crowd, so I wasn't gonna.

[Courtney Miller]

No, they would have beat your ass. Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. A lot of them probably could. So I was just like, no. Like, let's get out of here. Like, this isn't cool. So we start walking away, and this, like, this, like, mom with her kid is walking down the trail. I was like. I was like, heads up. There's a. There's a bear cub. And she was like, a bear cub? Where? Where? Like, she wanted to see it really bad. I'm like, lady, that's not the reason why I told you.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

It's. People are just.

[Courtney Miller]

That's rough.

[Ian Hecox]

And it's. It bothers me.

[Courtney Miller]

A person is smart, but people are dumb, bro.

[Ian Hecox]

I think just a lot of people just don't have the. They don't have the experience. They. Maybe they just didn't grow up around nature.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

Or they just don't respect it. Like, it's, like, it's not a zoo. They're not there for your entertainment.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. You know, I might be a horse girl in the big city now, but I grew up camping Quite a lot. So that stuff already been new, you know. And Shane, Shane's a mountain man pretty much. Him and his brothers hike.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Big ass mountains every year.

[Shane Tatum]

Yeah. I am a full believer that anytime a wild animal kills someone, you know what, that's, that's, that's them. If I've said before, if I get killed by a bear, I'm like, you know what? Nature got a W. And I like, it's fine, it's fine. There was a tweet I saw. God, I wish I know the account. It was like, if I get killed by, if I get killed by a bear, can someone take a photo of it standing next to my dead body?

[Courtney Miller]

Oh my God.

[Ian Hecox]

You know, I had a, I had a scary thought from my encounter. Like late, like it was like a couple nights ago. I thought about it. I was like, what would happen? Because that bear was really close to me. What would happen if the mama bear chased me into the outhouse and my only option was to jump down into the shit because it was like, it was a, it was a pit toilet. It's like, you know, I've never experienced that before. Like where you poop into a giant chamber of just like other people's feces. I was like, would I have, would I have the balls to jump into a giant like 10 foot deep pit of poop, poo, poo and pee pee.

[Courtney Miller]

What about playing dead? Like isn't that, is that.

[Shane Tatum]

No, that's for, that's for, that's for grizzly bears.

[Courtney Miller]

See, this is why we need your knowledge.

[Ian Hecox]

Playing dead is like black, black bears.

[Shane Tatum]

You. So it's, it's. You see black, fight back, you see brown lie down, you see white, good night.

[Ian Hecox]

That's no, that's no kidding.

[Shane Tatum]

Because the polar bear is just going to kill you. You need it. That's why like legally, in certain parts of Canada, you're legally required to have a rifle on you because polar bears will hunt and track and kill people.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. Well, I was reading, I was reading up a little bit about bears after that because it kind of like it made me realize that I wasn't, I wasn't as prepared as I should have been. But the, the basic thing is like. Yeah. Try to. Like, if a bear is coming towards you, you want to look it in the eyes and yell and throw and not back down.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

You don't want to show submission because it could be testing you if it's.

[Courtney Miller]

To feel the waters. Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

And they say like if it, if it actually attacks you, what you want to do is lie face down and cover your head and, like. Yeah, cover your neck. Cover your head and try to prevent it from tossing you over. And I said. And then it said, like, if the bear doesn't stop and starts to eat you, then you fight back. I'm like, how am I supposed to know when it starts to eat me? Isn't it, like, too late at that point?

[Courtney Miller]

I guess you just start feeling it. It's like, okay, this isn't just getting.

[Ian Hecox]

Like, oh, my leg entirely. And it's mad.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. You're no longer a threat and you're a meal. That's when it's like, fuck it. I just got to try my best. That makes sense.

[Ian Hecox]

But they were like, the. One of the things is like, yeah, you want to lay there and wait and make sure. Like, if the bear stops attacking you, don't get up and leave just yet. Wait maybe 30 minutes. I'm like, if you were attacked by a bear, you don't think you're gonna bleed out in 30 minutes. It's like 30 minutes.

[Courtney Miller]

If it's. If you start feeling it pouring salt and pepper and oregano on you, that's when you turn around and start. If you feel it's putting a dry rub and opening up a can of broth, that's a new song.

[Ian Hecox]

Exactly.

[Courtney Miller]

You hear it chopping up carrots and. And onions behind you and putting. If you start feeling him into a frying pan. If you start hearing the Benihana chef saying, yeah, bring it over. That's what he said.

[Ian Hecox]

If you hear the bear bring out its good knives, you know it's ready to eat.

[Shane Tatum]

If the bear makes an onion volcano on your back.

[Courtney Miller]

If you hear choo, choo, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.

[Ian Hecox]

Fun fact. Benihana was started by Steve Aoki's dad. That's what I heard. I don't know if it's true.

[Courtney Miller]

If you hear him. If you hear the bear starting to crack open garlic, turn around and start punching in the dick.

[Shane Tatum]

Nice. I. I can't imagine having to fight a bear, because when that black bear came up to my brother and I's camp, we were both frozen to death. We were terrified.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, it was.

[Shane Tatum]

I didn't even look. I didn't even. I didn't even want to get up and, like, look through the hole in the tent to see it. So I was like, no, because you.

[Courtney Miller]

Could startle it and. Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

I mean, it probably.

[Shane Tatum]

It knew we were there because it has. It could smell us from a mile away.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Ian Hecox]

But, guys, this is important. Steve Aoki's dad did start Benihana Guys the most. He also used to be a wrestler.

[Courtney Miller]

Guys confirmed. A wrestler. A wrestler started Benihana, and a wrestler now invented a place where they wrestle food with their knives in front of you. If Steve Aoki gives a bear the go ahead to start chopping you up, that's when you turn around and punch him in the dick.

[Ian Hecox]

Sorry. That's right.

[Courtney Miller]

Continue. It's time for Shoot Dude.

[Ian Hecox]

It's time for a Shoot Dude.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay. Shoot Dude. Shoot Dude. Shoot Dude.

[Shane Tatum]

Shoot Dude.

[Courtney Miller]

Shoot Dude. Shoot Dude. Shoot Dude.

[Ian Hecox]

So this one. This Shoot dude comes from David. David says so. A few years ago, I was home alone, enjoying some quality adult videos on my phone. I'm guessing he's referring to, like, rated R movies or something.

[Shane Tatum]

Oh, so he's watching porn.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay.

[Ian Hecox]

Probably just like a PG13. Probably.

[Courtney Miller]

I've never seen that Home Alone movie before.

[Ian Hecox]

He's watching Terminator 3 is my guess, as the video was. As the video was approaching its climax, the audio suddenly stopped working. Confused and disappointed, I turned the volume all the way up. To my horror, I hear my mom pulling into the garage and hear the sounds of my video playing through the Bluetooth in her car.

[Shane Tatum]

It's awesome.

[Ian Hecox]

We didn't make eye contact for the rest of the night. Shoot Dude.

[Shane Tatum]

That's awesome.

[Ian Hecox]

That is awesome.

[Courtney Miller]

A shoot dude. That is a hardcore shoot dude.

[Ian Hecox]

I can actually. I can believe that one, bro.

[Shane Tatum]

I for sure believe that one.

[Courtney Miller]

I've heard stories of that happening to other people before. I will say my. My, like, sound bar. Sometimes I think. I think a neighbor tries to connect to their speaker and accidentally connects to mine because my TV will cut out. And then I'll hear super quiet, like, Fleetwood Mac. And I'm like, what the.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, that's probably just Shane and I listen to Fleetwood Cranking.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, no, I mean, it was like Fleetwood Mac vibes. It wasn't like, actual. Because if it was, I would have turned it up and be like, screw the tv. This is great. But, like, yeah, it's Bluetooth speakers. Be wild and out, dude.

[Ian Hecox]

That's crazy. So if you got it. If you got a Shoot dude, send it to shoot dude. Smosh.com. that's s h o o t d o o d at smosh.

[Courtney Miller]

Has that ever happened to you guys?

[Ian Hecox]

Anything like that porn stuff?

[Courtney Miller]

I mean, porn incident or Bluetooth speaker incident?

[Ian Hecox]

I. Well, when I first got the. That. That portable Bluetooth speaker from Vidcon I tried to hide was one of our shoots I tried to hide it behind some people and then play fart noises through it.

[Courtney Miller]

Where was this? Vidcon?

[Ian Hecox]

No, no, it was the speaker that we got at, like, Vidcon.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh.

[Ian Hecox]

It was like this little Bluetooth speaker. So I was like, hey, I'm gonna hide it behind something and play furry noises because I am five.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, that's a. The Bluetooth speakers are just the new modern fart machine.

[Shane Tatum]

I feel like. I feel like porn is not the worst thing that could have happened. I feel like an action scene in, like, John Wick or something. So if you're just chilling in your apartment or in your car and also just a bunch of gunshots started going off right here.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, my God. That would be terrifying. Your mom's just like, oh. But I would have had the same reaction if I heard porn. Anyway, you just hear those sounds.

[Shane Tatum]

You never just have fucking ghosts.

[Courtney Miller]

Fucking ghosts.

[Shane Tatum]

Ghosts that are just fucking.

[Ian Hecox]

No, my ghosts are all just single and lonely.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. They're like, when will my husband return from war? Also, I'm dead.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah. Have you guys seen a ghost story?

[Courtney Miller]

Dude, that's just like any ghost story or the movie. Ghost story.

[Ian Hecox]

The movie. A ghost story.

[Courtney Miller]

I don't think I have.

[Shane Tatum]

Did you describe it? You just described it as a movie.

[Ian Hecox]

A movie. A ghost story. Yeah, it. Well, yeah, I did describe. It is a movie. It is a weird one, man. It's very like. It's very, like. It's not. No, no, it's not scary. It's very, like, art house. It's Casey Affleck with a sheet over his head standing around in a house. And it goes through time. And it goes through time.

[Courtney Miller]

Weird. That sounds cool.

[Ian Hecox]

It's. It's a. It's a weird one.

[Courtney Miller]

Is there porn in it? Is there sex in it?

[Shane Tatum]

Yeah, I'll only watch it if it's porn.

[Courtney Miller]

I only watch porn ghost stuff.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, it's low on the porn porn quotient, but it's. It's. It's a slow movie, but it's. It's worth checking out. It's. It's very. It's very interesting.

[Courtney Miller]

Can't do any other ghost stuff.

[Ian Hecox]

No, I don't like scary. I don't like scary spookies.

[Courtney Miller]

I have never seen Paranormal Activity. I can't do, like. I couldn't even get through 15 minutes of haunting in Connecticut. Like, I'm a little wussy.

[Ian Hecox]

Was weenie boy watch the first Paranormal Activity. It was pretty fun.

[Shane Tatum]

Second one's even better, I think.

[Courtney Miller]

Really? You guys like this?

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, yeah, but I did like Paranormal Activity.

[Courtney Miller]

I did watch the comedy version, scary movie 3 and stuff. Remember when they tried to replace Anna Faris with Ashley Tisdale and it did not track?

[Ian Hecox]

Ooh, I've only.

[Shane Tatum]

I've only seen the first one, so I don't.

[Courtney Miller]

I saw. I remember the first ones. Scare Movie three was the best.

[Ian Hecox]

Everyone knows that Meet the Spartans is where it's at.

[Courtney Miller]

That one was so bad, dude. That whole genre, it was bad. So rough.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah, it wasn't even. It wasn't even like parody. It was just referencing like, oh, there's, there's, there's Carrot Top.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, there's the Kicking Pit.

[Ian Hecox]

Oh, there's the, the Taco Bell Chihuahua.

[Shane Tatum]

Yeah, it was a dark time in movies, but I feel like it would.

[Ian Hecox]

Be really interesting to, to go back and watch it now because now it's all this, like, now it's like a pop culture time capsule.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. We react to those, like. Because aren't we thinking about doing something like that? Like streaming. Streaming movies and we're talking about doing that in the future. I can't. I don't. We think we're allowed to talk about that stuff, right?

[Ian Hecox]

Not yet.

[Courtney Miller]

Not yet. But anyway, I think we've said enough to teach Keys. Whatever. But yeah, reacting to movies is our dream, bro. Cringy movies.

[Ian Hecox]

I would love to react to cringy movies.

[Courtney Miller]

I want to make you guys watch Greece too.

[Ian Hecox]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

But yeah, that whole genre freaking. What was the Twilight? The vampire. Not another vampire teen movie or something where they made fun of Twilight. That one was.

[Ian Hecox]

There was. There was the 40 year old virgin who knocked up something and felt super bad about it.

[Shane Tatum]

I didn't even know about that one.

[Courtney Miller]

It's like the closest mainstream movies will ever be to YouTube. Like, that was the most YouTube ass thing. It was parody comedy in a movie, like, so bad. So bad.

[Ian Hecox]

But there was an audience for it.

[Shane Tatum]

There was.

[Courtney Miller]

I was low key, that audience. But like, even I was like, this is just so garbage. Like the Spartan Meet the Spartans was so bad.

[Ian Hecox]

So this was the name of the movie. The 41 year old virgin who knocked up Sarah Marshall and. And felt super bad about it. Yeah, all those, like, all those raunchy comedies. They would come out with like the DVD version that's like extra stripped naked version, like. Yeah, so.

[Courtney Miller]

And that was the one that I really wanted to see as a kid. I was like, what does it mean?

[Ian Hecox]

Are there like twice as many boobies?

[Courtney Miller]

Is a pee pee in it?

[Shane Tatum]

Is there twice?

[Courtney Miller]

Because, like, I was too scared to Google penis. So I was like, this is gonna be my chance.

[Ian Hecox]

You know, I just realized I don't think I've ever seen a butthole in a movie. Sorry. Let's just leave it. I'm just gonna leave you guys with that. With that. Please rate our podcast on itunes or any of the other podcast listening things you're listening to.

[Courtney Miller]

And please. And please rate Shane's mustache. We love you so much for those who are watching.

[Ian Hecox]

And also, if you have seen a butthole in a movie that's not a porn, leave it in the comments below, because I don't think I've ever seen one in a movie. They could show a badge and they could show up. Why can't they show a butthole?

[Shane Tatum]

I comment in my big factory wedding.

[Ian Hecox]

Let's get the hashtag going on Twitter. Show us the hole.

[Courtney Miller]

Show us the hole.

[Shane Tatum]

That's the new campaign.

[Courtney Miller]

Let's start a revolution, filmmakers, to have a movie with full backal. Not full frontal, like full backal.

[Ian Hecox]

Yes. We're starting this. We're starting this. Okay?

[Shane Tatum]

We. We're starting a petition for a movie where Danny DeVito is standing facing away from the camera and he just. Just spreads cheeks.

[Ian Hecox]

Show us the Danny DeVito.

[Courtney Miller]

Show us the hole.

[Ian Hecox]

Show us the hole. Hashtag it. Make it happen. Love you so much. Get all the new Smosh. Get all the new Smosh merch at Smosh store. There's some real great stuff. Love you so much. Thank you, Shane and Courtney. I'll see you guys next time. Much love. Bye.