S2: #77 - Shayne and Damien Aren't Best Friends Anymore

Summary

Podcast Summary: Smosh Mouth S2: #77 - Shayne and Damien Aren't Best Friends Anymore

In episode #77 of Smosh Mouth, titled "Shayne and Damien Aren't Best Friends Anymore," released on August 26, 2020, hosts Shane Topp and Jackie Uwe delve into a heartfelt and humorous discussion about friendship dynamics, personal anecdotes, and their shared passions. The episode marks a significant shift as Shane candidly reveals a change in his closest friendships, promoting Jackie as his new best friend while distancing himself from Damien Ha. The conversation is enriched with intimate fan questions, revealing personal insights and reinforcing the deep bond between Shane and Jackie.

I. Introduction to Friendship Dynamics

The episode begins with Shane and Jackie reflecting on the demanding nature of their work. Shane emphasizes the intensity behind filming their content, stating, “[00:31] Shane Topp: People don't realize how intense we go filming all our stuff.” Jackie echoes this sentiment, expressing her astonishment at the workload, “[00:40] Jackie Uwe: I was a little shook when I really realized how much y'all do. I was like, oh, my God, it's crazy.”

II. Transition of Best Friends

A pivotal moment occurs when Shane openly discusses the evolution of his friendships. He suggests that Damien Ha is no longer his best friend and candidly praises Jackie’s qualities, saying, “[05:03] Shane Topp: It’s time for Damien to retire. Like, you know, he had a good run as my best friend ever. Eventually, you get bested and someone comes along who does the job better, and I just think you're clearly a better friend.” Jackie humbly acknowledges Shane's honesty, “[05:20] Jackie Uwe: I appreciate that you see that, you know, and that you've seen that so quickly, because, I mean, I've watched your and Damian's relationship... I really think I could [be a better friend].”

III. Fan Questions: Shared Knowledge and Intimacy

The duo engages with fan-submitted questions, showcasing their deep understanding of each other's lives. One standout moment is when Jackie asks Shane, “[01:09] Jackie Uwe: Is your dad's middle name really Royal?” Shane confirms, “[23:21] Shane Topp: His name really is Robert Royal Topp.” This exchange highlights the profound level of intimacy and knowledge they share, far surpassing what is seen in Shane's relationship with Damien.

IV. Personal Stories: First Jobs and Fears

Shane and Jackie share personal anecdotes about their first jobs and individual fears. Shane recounts his early acting career, “[07:29] Shane Topp: I'm very lucky in that I've never worked a, like, regular job. When I was 13, I got an agent in Arizona and then went out for a couple auditions and miraculously booked the first two auditions I went out on.” In contrast, Jackie reminisces about her role as a hot dog representative, “[09:45] Jackie Uwe: So I was a hot dog, like, representative for this company... I set up like this sign behind me... we would pass out hot dogs with pretzels in them.”

The conversation also touches on their personal fears. Jackie shares a unique fear regarding color combinations, “[14:04] Jackie Uwe: When I was younger, I really had a problem with the colors red and blue being put next to each other. It made me very uncomfortable...” Meanwhile, Shane opens up about his anxiety towards paperwork, “[17:40] Shane Topp: My smallest fear is paperwork. I am terrified of paperwork...”

V. Discussion on Sports and Hobbies

Both hosts express their enthusiasm for sports, drawing parallels to their love for anime. Shane explains, “[38:01] Shane Topp: I watch sports because they're very similar to anime. They're all about the only way to win is to get better, to train constantly.” Jackie adds her recent passion for gymnastics, “[34:08] Jackie Uwe: I decided to become a fan of gymnastics... I watched Simone Biles' comeback and every competition since.”

Their shared love for sports serves as a bridge, further solidifying their bond. They discuss various aspects of athletics, from the dedication of athletes to the emotional narratives intertwined with competitive sports.

VI. The Arrival of Kevin Riggs and Damien

The dynamic takes a comedic turn when Kevin Riggs joins the conversation, leading to playful banter about their friendships. Kevin attempts to engage, “[43:46] Kevin Riggs: I watch darts all the time,” prompting laughter and light-hearted exchanges. The interaction underscores the strong camaraderie between Shane and Jackie while highlighting Damien's sidelined position in this new friendship landscape.

VII. Conclusion: Reinforcing the New Bond

As the episode wraps up, Shane and Jackie reaffirm their status as best friends. Shane reflects, “[50:21] Shane Topp: I’m really happy you found a best friend. Like Jackie,” while Jackie supports Shane’s candidness, “[50:24] Shane Topp: Yeah. All right, well, I want to thank my two former best friends for coming on the podcast today. Jackie Uwe and Damien Ha. Kevin Riggs.” The episode concludes with mutual appreciation and a reaffirmed commitment to their renewed friendship, leaving listeners with a sense of warmth and the genuine connection shared between Shane and Jackie.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Shane on Friendship Transition: “[05:03] Shane Topp: It’s time for Damien to retire... I think you're clearly a better friend.”
• Jackie Acknowledging Shane’s Honesty: “[05:20] Jackie Uwe: I appreciate that you see that... I really think I could [be a better friend].”
• Fan Question Exchange: “[01:09] Jackie Uwe: Is your dad's middle name really Royal?” “[23:21] Shane Topp: His name really is Robert Royal Topp.”
• Shane on Sports and Anime: “[38:01] Shane Topp: I watch sports because they're very similar to anime...”
• Jackie on Gymnastics Fanaticism: “[34:08] Jackie Uwe: I decided to become a fan of gymnastics...”
• Shane on Paperwork Fear: “[17:40] Shane Topp: My smallest fear is paperwork...”

Final Thoughts

Episode #77 of Smosh Mouth offers an intimate glimpse into the evolving friendships within the Smosh team. Through candid conversations, personal stories, and engaging banter, Shane and Jackie navigate the complexities of friendship, ultimately celebrating their strengthened bond. The episode balances humor with heartfelt moments, making it a compelling listen for both loyal fans and newcomers seeking to understand the dynamics behind Smosh’s creative team.

Transcript

[Ryan Higa]

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[Damien Ha]

No purchase necessary VGW Group void where prohibited by law 21/ terms and conditions apply.

[Shane Topp]

Ramble. People don't realize how intense we go filming all our stuff.

[Jackie Uwe]

I was a little shook when I really realized how much y'all do. I was like, oh, my God, it's crazy.

[Shane Topp]

I love anime. Damian does not watch sports, but I watch sports because. And I tell him this. They're very similar to anime.

[Jackie Uwe]

If I am interested in someone, I will ask them out. And recently I've stopped doing that because it doesn't go as well as I think it will. Can I ask you a question?

[Shane Topp]

Of course you can ask. This is a podcast that's allowed.

[Jackie Uwe]

Is your dad's middle name really royal?

[Shane Topp]

What's.

[Kevin Riggs]

Hi.

[Shane Topp]

Hello. What the heck is going on? I got to see you for a second with that. The COVID testing. Yeah, that was fun.

[Jackie Uwe]

It was an experience.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, it was brutal. He was quick. The guy was quick. It was just a, like, quick jab up into my nose. I cried, but not too bad.

[Jackie Uwe]

Yeah, he was very efficient. I was like. He was ready to go. And I was like, let me slow this process down. I'm like, how's your day going today, sir?

[Shane Topp]

How are you doing?

[Jackie Uwe]

Like, how are you? Are you. Are you good?

[Shane Topp]

And he started crying. He's like, no one ever asks me how I'm doing.

[Jackie Uwe]

Exactly. I was like, please, I'm not ready. I haven't done. That was the first time I did the nasal swab. So I was just like. I didn't want it to happen. It wasn't as bad as I thought. I've had stuff stuck up my nose and I've had bad experiences. So it. It freaks me out a lot. But I usually just. I'll try to, like, and like, relax myself. Just like, stay open, stay open. So that's what I did. They're just like, shooting this shit with him, like, sticking it.

[Shane Topp]

He's like, are you into this? This is you made him uncomfortable. He's like, I got to quit this job. It reminds me, I read a story, Dude, I read a story the other day that some, like, kid in New Zealand, a Lego fell out of his nose that had been up there for two years.

[Jackie Uwe]

Did he?

[Shane Topp]

Which is.

[Jackie Uwe]

Did he. Did everybody know about it?

[Shane Topp]

Maybe. Maybe it was, like, his thing. Maybe. Maybe everyone's like, that's Bobby. He's got the Lego up his nose. Like, that's what makes him cool. And without that, he's nothing.

[Jackie Uwe]

I'm Bobby, and I have a Lego up my nose. I know. That's my whole personality.

[Shane Topp]

Hey, what's up? I'm Bobby and I have a Lego up my nose. That's who I am. Hello, everyone. For those of you who may not recognize me by my voice, this is Shane Topp, and I am hosting this podcast with Jackie Uwe.

[Jackie Uwe]

Hey.

[Shane Topp]

An absolute champ in Eat it or yeeted a couple weeks ago. Lord, with the bug covered pie, which was great.

[Jackie Uwe]

I was watching that video, and I was just like, I can still taste it. And I was eating. I ate right after I watched it, and I was just kind of, like, not in a good mood the rest of that day.

[Shane Topp]

Kind of bummed.

[Jackie Uwe]

Yeah, Just like. Like, not mad, just kind of, like, sad.

[Shane Topp]

But it wasn't. Bugs aren't that. It wasn't like, it didn't taste bad. Right. It's just the idea.

[Jackie Uwe]

It's all mental. All of it was mental. Like, the bugs didn't taste bad. Like, the texture of the clay was. The texture of the clay got me. Usually I don't have issues with texture, but that one got me. And then, I mean, bts, like that earlier that day, we shot two Eat it or Eat It. So based on what happened in the other video, I was extra sensitive to things that happened in the next video, and I just was like, my taste buds are kind of done.

[Shane Topp]

So.

[Jackie Uwe]

Yeah. Without being specific at all.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, it's definitely rough when we have to shoot several Eat it or eat it, and you get through one, and you either have to eat. You. You eat the worst thing in one. Eat it or eat it. And then you go into another, and you're just like, my stomach is already filled with so much awful stuff to add to the nightmare now.

[Jackie Uwe]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Would be terrible.

[Jackie Uwe]

Your soul is just, like, kind of upset.

[Shane Topp]

Just kind of bummed, really.

[Jackie Uwe]

Just. It's just a general just bum.

[Shane Topp]

That's the only way to describe my experience on Eat or Eat it is just bummed. I'm very excited to be talking to you today, because I think let's. Let's be hon. Honest, Jackie. I feel like you and I are already very good friends, and I. I think there's tons of best friend potential here. It's time for Damian to retire. Like, you know, he had a good run as my. My best friend ever. Eventually, you get bested and someone comes along who does the job better, and I just think you're clearly a better friend.

[Jackie Uwe]

I appreciate that you see that, you know, and that you've seen that so quickly, because, I mean, I've watched your and Damian's relationship, like, your friendship, you know, like, online and offline at this point, and I'm just like, I don't know. I could do it better. I. I really think I could.

[Shane Topp]

I know. I. I. And I respect that so much. And the fact that you're willing to say that shows that you're clearly capable of being my best friend. That's the type of honesty that Damian and I just don't like. We don't have that level of honesty with each other. And you and I already have that.

[Jackie Uwe]

We already have that. We're already tracking.

[Shane Topp]

We're already best friends.

[Jackie Uwe]

I can't even say it with a straight face. I'm like, yeah, because I'm. You know what I'm thinking about? I'm thinking about Damien's, like, fans. They ride for him so hard.

[Shane Topp]

So it's just like, the clever core is no joke, man.

[Jackie Uwe]

Is that what they're called?

[Shane Topp]

The clever core? That is.

[Jackie Uwe]

Oh, my God.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. And it's. It's like the Marine Corps. I'd say it takes the same level of dedication.

[Jackie Uwe]

They have me shook. Like, I can even say, like, yeah, I'm a better friend than Damien. Like, sweat, you know?

[Shane Topp]

They're coming.

[Jackie Uwe]

Oh, completely.

[Shane Topp]

This is the thing, though. Even when they're angry, they're so polite. They're the. They're, like, most respectful. They're the most respectful group that they're never going to say anything mean, but they'll be like, hey, what you said, not very nice.

[Jackie Uwe]

Good. Which is more hurtful. It's like when your mom is like, I'm. I'm not mad. I'm disappointed. That's that same energy. Or.

[Shane Topp]

Or if they get. They give you the. Like, that really hurt me or like, oh, I felt really hurt. It's just like, oh, oh, now I am the bad guy.

[Jackie Uwe]

Well, I guess I'll be the bad guy today because I'm your new best friend.

[Shane Topp]

We have a bunch of questions. Here. Sent in from fans through different social media platforms. I think these questions are really going to highlight just how similar we are and that we have a very similar point of view, which makes sense. We're best friends.

[Jackie Uwe]

Yes. And you've heard these questions. I don't know what these questions are.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, I read through them a little bit. They're good.

[Jackie Uwe]

Okay.

[Shane Topp]

They're good.

[Jackie Uwe]

Okay, great.

[Shane Topp]

Let's start off with like a. Let's start off with an easy one.

[Kevin Riggs]

Okay.

[Jackie Uwe]

A little softball.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, this is a little softball. But it gets crazy. It gets really crazy soon.

[Jackie Uwe]

Cool.

[Shane Topp]

This first question comes from Christian Kachurak. And they ask, what was your first job? I think that's a good question. I can go first if you want.

[Jackie Uwe]

Yeah, sure, go first.

[Shane Topp]

I'm very lucky in that I've never worked a, like, regular job. When I was 13, I got an agent in Arizona and then went out for a couple auditions and miraculously booked the first two auditions I went out on. One was a student film and the other was a. A sag. Like a. An actual. Like a movie with a budget. Low budget.

[Jackie Uwe]

Moon piece.

[Shane Topp]

Moon Pie. Yeah, it was called Moon Pie. It had some actors from MADtv.

[Jackie Uwe]

Is that the one from 2006 where you're playing John Paul?

[Shane Topp]

Do you have my IMDb pulled up?

[Jackie Uwe]

No.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, you just knew that.

[Jackie Uwe]

Jane, I'm your best friend, so.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, my God. Jackie.

[Jackie Uwe]

Best friends.

[Shane Topp]

I can't believe you. You knew that. That is the coolest thing that's ever happened.

[Jackie Uwe]

I'm sorry. I apologize. I completely interrupted you. But I just, like, I just wanted to let you know so that anyone listening or watching knows what we're talking about. 2006, Moon Pie. He played John Paul.

[Shane Topp]

Yes. Yes. Wow. Jackie, you know me better than I know myself. A true best friend. Hey, that. Yeah, so I filmed that in 2004. So that was my first job. And it was weird. It was weird because I only got into acting like a couple years or like a year or so prior to that. Like, I did a play in school and then I was like, let's do a community. Community theater play. I did one community theater play and then I went to start going to this acting class, and they were like, you need to get an agent. I was like, all right. We had to get an agent and then got an agent and then got those auditions, then booked. Like, it was so fast. And that's. I will say that's the luckiest I ever have been in my career because that all happened very quickly. And then after that When I came out to L. A. It was like 100 auditions and I booked nothing. It.

[Jackie Uwe]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

The harshness of the industry hit eventually, but I got very lucky there. So that was my first, you know.

[Jackie Uwe]

And it makes sense that as best friends that you would have a job like that because it's so complimentary to my first job, Shane, and how my first job that wasn't like a family, like wasn't connected to family was selling hot dogs.

[Shane Topp]

Selling hot dogs.

[Jackie Uwe]

Selling hot dogs.

[Shane Topp]

So I like how you said not connected. Like unreal, like unconnected to my family. As if you have a family, like you're part of a mafia. It's like, well, obviously I kill people as part of the family business, but yeah, outside of that.

[Jackie Uwe]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

So you sold hot dogs. Where did you sell hot dogs at?

[Jackie Uwe]

So I was a hot dog, like, representative for this company, this, like, meatpacking company. And so they. I was on their sales team. So we would go out to grocery stores, we would set up our leg, set up a little. Do you like my sound effects?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. The people listening love that. For those just listening, she did a bunch of physical movements. They don't help explain it at all.

[Jackie Uwe]

At all. Actual trash. So I set up like this sign behind me. That's what the. It was like a pop up sign.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Jackie Uwe]

That I set up behind me. I had my little George Foreman grill or whatever off brand one they put in our kit. And then we had to. We had to stand next to where those hot dogs were being sold in the grocery stores and make the hot dogs and pass them out and we would stick pretzels in them. So the whole thing was not biodegradable, but, like, it was. There's no waste. So like zero waste. When we're. When you're giving out samples.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, cool. Oh, that's really awesome. That's interesting. I've never actually seen anything like that at the grocery store. Like, obviously there's people. Have you been in the store? I have, but aren't the people who do the samples, like, their Costco employees?

[Jackie Uwe]

Yes, but sometimes they'll have outside vendors. So if you. If you look at like the water. I also. I love Costco. I know you're my best friend, so you.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, Costco is great. I. That was where we went, like, as a kid. That's the only place we went.

[Jackie Uwe]

It's an excellent place.

[Shane Topp]

So my dad is luckily the most organized person I know, but he also is probably. He's probably a borderline hoarder. Like, remember this year when people Started hoarding up toilet paper. And it was like, people have 500 rolls of toilet paper. I was like, that's my dad already. Like, we would go to Costco and he'd be like, yeah, we need to get all this. It's like, why? He's like, because it'll cover us for the next year. We don't have to think about it. And I'm like, okay, just tons.

[Jackie Uwe]

I get the rats now. I like going on like friend dates to Costco. I mean, as like a millennial, like, not a lot of people would have Costco cards for some reason. Or like, usually your parent has a Costco card. So I have a Costco card. And so I'll just, I'll like, let. My friends are like, FYI, like, I got the. I got the plug.

[Shane Topp]

I got the Costco card.

[Jackie Uwe]

I got the Cost card. Yeah. So if you ever want to go, just like, let me know and we can just hang out.

[Shane Topp]

Don't tell anyone I have the Costco card.

[Jackie Uwe]

Yeah. So we can just. We can just go and spend time there, get the samples. So that was the thing is sometimes you'll see there, sometimes you'll see outside vendors in the Costco doing samples. So those are the best days. When we got to set up inside the Costco's, it was like a 10 hour day. It was like two or three people were staffed at the station and we had like two tents and it was great. That was big money days.

[Shane Topp]

That's. That sounds awesome. How old were you? Were you like a kid?

[Jackie Uwe]

I was in high school. It was either. It was like the summer. It might have been summer after senior year or like in between junior and senior year.

[Shane Topp]

That's dope. I mean, it sounds like it was a positive job.

[Jackie Uwe]

The reason why I don't work there, it was this after the summer, after my senior year, because the next year I just went to school. I went off to school, so.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jackie Uwe]

But I like hot dogs.

[Shane Topp]

Hot dogs are great. And honestly, Costco hot dogs are, in my opinion, the best hot dogs. And they cost. They cost negative money. They pay you to eat them. That's how cheap they are.

[Jackie Uwe]

Exactly.

[Shane Topp]

I think that showed that you and I basically had the same first job. So we're basically best friends.

[Jackie Uwe]

I mean, yes.

[Shane Topp]

Hot dogs and student films kind of the same.

[Jackie Uwe]

It's. I mean, I. I think we have the same background. And I mean, we're here. Right. We're here together now. So it seems like the choices we made led us exactly to where we.

[Shane Topp]

Needed to be exactly. Just like a hot dog. This next question comes from. At Blue Nightwing 13, what is your smallest fear?

[Jackie Uwe]

That's a fun question.

[Shane Topp]

I definitely know the answer for me. What is. What is yours? You can go first this time.

[Jackie Uwe]

Hmm. So a small fear that I have, and it's lessened a lot over the years, but when I was younger, I really had a problem with the colors red and blue being put next to each other. It made me very uncomfortable and just, like, a lot of just conflicting feelings where I was like, I don't know if I'm supposed to feel hot or if I'm supposed to feel cold or just seeing them together, I. It made me, like, nauseous when I was younger.

[Shane Topp]

That's got to be tough because there's a lot of American flag, like, stuff everywhere.

[Jackie Uwe]

Like, I mean, also, what does that say about.

[Shane Topp]

I think your fear isn't small. You're scared of America.

[Jackie Uwe]

I'm. I. But I mean, it's pretty accurate.

[Shane Topp]

It's 2020. Americans are banned from the rest of the world. That's how scared everyone is of America.

[Jackie Uwe]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

No, you guys stay in there.

[Jackie Uwe]

It was such a weird thing, but any. Like, when I was coloring, mainly, I would see it come up. Like, I wouldn't grab a red. A red crayon and then a blue one or, like a marker or anything or color next to each other. But, like, then you see, like, back here, I have, like, red plates and, like, I have blue towels. But I'm even conscious of the fact that, like, there's a blue, like, Brita over here and a red plate next, like, near each other.

[Shane Topp]

You're just aware of that?

[Jackie Uwe]

Yeah. Like, it's like, too aware of it.

[Shane Topp]

So are there any other contrasting colors that you don't like? Because they are contrasting colors. Like, I think there's probably, like, psychological depth to that uncomfortability.

[Jackie Uwe]

Somebody analyzed me.

[Damien Ha]

Step into the world of power, loyalty, and luck. I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse with family. Canolies and spins mean everything. Now you want to get mixed up in the family business. Introducing the [e-mail] test your luck in the shadowy world of the Godfather slots. Someday I will call upon you to.

[Shane Topp]

Do a service for me.

[Damien Ha]

Play the Godfather [e-mail] Welcome to the family. No purchase necessary. VGW Group void. We're prohibited by law 21 + terms and conditions apply.

[Jackie Uwe]

So because I'm from Stockton, we were like a Sacramento Kings household when I Watched basketball. So the only colors I don't like putting next to each other that are complementary are, like, purple and yellow, because it's like, automatic Lakers colors. And that was always back when, like, the Kings. Back when the Kings had, like, Chris Weber, like, that era of the Kings, and there was, like, a legitimate rivalry happening. I was anti those two colors.

[Shane Topp]

I think that makes sense. I think purple can often be. Purple is used by so many, like, recognizable things that I can get it. Especially purple and yellow. When you're in la, it's hard for it not to be Lakers. So wait, really quick. You grew up in Sacramento or that Sacramento area?

[Jackie Uwe]

I grew up in Stockton. Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Okay. I don't know. I don't know exactly where that is in relation to, so.

[Jackie Uwe]

Because you would always fly into the Sacramento airport when you guys.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, because Smash Smosh was born out of Sacramento. That's why I asked. I think that's kind of funny that you happen to be close to there.

[Jackie Uwe]

I live 45 minutes away from the Sacramento airport.

[Shane Topp]

That's so funny. Yeah. We used to fly. We used to fly into Sacramento airport every other week to film sketches for you guys.

[Jackie Uwe]

Go years.

[Shane Topp]

We do, like, People don't realize how intense. We go, like, filming all our stuff. We. We go crazy.

[Jackie Uwe]

I was a little shook when I. When I really realized how much y'all do. I was like, oh, my God.

[Shane Topp]

It's. It's crazy. It's crazy. Anyway, so small fears. Mine is paperwork. I am terrified of paperwork. Not like. Not like medical paperwork is whatever. I think it's because there's so much information. There's so many numbers that I have to remember, and I always feel like I don't. I'm missing something. It's hard to keep track of a lot of things. And I think this fear also spills into. I'm really. I have, like, a fear often of emails, and it's that if I don't check my email for a couple hours, then I already have this fear of, like, oh, what if an important email was sent to me and I already. It's already too late. Like, now I'll be responding late. And I already feel bad about the fact that it's. I'm like, I don't want to have to go in there and be like, oh, crap, I'm so sorry. I screwed up. And I'm responding late. So that fear makes me procrastinate longer. And then I often go, like, a week where I'm literally. I'll literally, like, glance at my email. I'LL be like. And then I'll, like, look away because I don't want to deal with intense stuff. And an email. You can get an awful email at any time. Completely just something crazy that I don't want to deal with.

[Jackie Uwe]

Has anything ever happened where something crazy did happen in email form?

[Shane Topp]

I think as an actor in this industry, and I mean, you. You know as well, is just you're waiting for auditions and you're. You're waiting around doing absolutely nothing. Your life is so boring. And then suddenly it's a phone call or an email that it's like, you have the craziest audition ever tomorrow morning, and you're just like, suddenly you are feeling all the anxiety and nerves. It went from, I have nothing to do this week to, holy shit, I have to be in a room with some powerful director tomorrow and try to do my best in order to have a career.

[Jackie Uwe]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

In order to make my dreams come true. It's so intense. Literally, when I was a teenager, when I first came out here, my managers. The ringtone for my manager at the time, it had a specific ringtone to it. To this day, when I hear that ringtone, I get a jolt of anxiety.

[Jackie Uwe]

Because I remember you, the same agent since you were.

[Shane Topp]

No, no, no. This is the manager that I. That I did have at the time. When I was a teenager, I had a. I had a manager, and we set a specific ringtone for when he'd call. And back when I was a teenager, I would get such severe anxiety and nerves when I had an audition. Like, I would black out in some auditions. I don't remember some audit. Like, I would go in, I would come out and be like, I don't remember what just happened. I was so nervous, man. So. So when I would get those phone calls, I would then be feeling anxious until the audition was done. So it'd be 24 hours straight of just terrible nerves and anxiety. When I hear that sound to this day like a Pavlovian, I still feel anxiety. So Kevin just messaged us a very good point. How would you guys feel if both you came across paperwork that was made out of red and blue, alternating pages, or just blue and red ink?

[Jackie Uwe]

It would make me feel uncomfortable. And I don't know why it makes me uncomfortable, but it's just like. It's like, is it supposed to be hot or is it supposed to be cold? I don't. What is it like?

[Shane Topp]

Make a decision.

[Jackie Uwe]

It just feels, like, so indecisive to me, and I don't know what it is. So I would probably just be very suspicious and distrustful if I got paperwork like that.

[Shane Topp]

Are you ever eating Eminem's and then you accidentally have a blue and red Eminem and you're just scared?

[Jackie Uwe]

It's not that.

[Shane Topp]

No. And you just throw. Throw them away.

[Jackie Uwe]

I don't even look at the. I'm just. You know how people pick out Starbursts?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Jackie Uwe]

And they're. They have like. I was like, I eat them all. All the gummy bears. I eat it all.

[Shane Topp]

So I'm the same way. My grandpa, however, would only eat yellow.

[Jackie Uwe]

M and Ms. Is that Wayne?

[Shane Topp]

What the hell? Best friend. That's my other grandfather.

[Jackie Uwe]

I'm sorry.

[Shane Topp]

God dang. Damian definitely doesn't know that you are my best friend. Everyone knows that. The only way. The way you prove you're someone's best friend is by knowing their grandfather's name. That's. I mean, this is my other grandfather. He. Who's. He's passed away, but his name was Papa Ted. I mean, I think undiagnosed, but I think he just had, like, ocd. He would literally pick out the yellow M and Ms, and he would eat only the yellow M and Ms. Oh, wow.

[Jackie Uwe]

They don't. I mean, they don't taste different, but.

[Shane Topp]

No, not at all.

[Jackie Uwe]

I know a lot of people that do that. Or they're just like, I will not.

[Shane Topp]

Sorry. Won't touch. I won't touch the red Eminem's, please.

[Jackie Uwe]

Ye.

[Shane Topp]

Well, great. Well, so we've only further proven that we're best friends. For those listening, I think.

[Jackie Uwe]

Question.

[Shane Topp]

Of course you can. This is a podcast. That's.

[Jackie Uwe]

Okay.

[Shane Topp]

You're loud.

[Jackie Uwe]

Is your dad's middle name really Royal?

[Shane Topp]

Are you on the Smosh Wiki? You are smash.

[Jackie Uwe]

I'm not. I'm not.

[Shane Topp]

Yes. Okay, then where did you. Okay. I'm just, like, too amazed at how good of a best friend you are that I almost don't believe it. Like, that's. I guess that's where I'm at, is where I'm just like, wow, you're paying so much attention to me. Like, you remembered everything. Like, it's too good to be true.

[Jackie Uwe]

There's no way to, like, test this, because this is a podcast. But, I mean, I don't have any tabs open right now.

[Shane Topp]

Nothing open.

[Jackie Uwe]

Yeah, I just, like. I just feel like, you know, when you're friends with someone, you, like, look stuff up about them, and you. You. You. You ask questions, and when I saw that, I had a question, which is why I just want to make sure it was real. I wanted to hear it coming out of your mouth.

[Shane Topp]

Yes. His name really. His middle name really is Royal.

[Jackie Uwe]

Cool.

[Shane Topp]

You. You got it. Way to go. That. It makes me feel really great that I have a best friend who knows that information and would ask those questions.

[Jackie Uwe]

It's important.

[Shane Topp]

It is really important. Thank you so much. Damian's never asked that question. And honestly, now that I realize that, I wonder why I tolerated such a shitty friend for so long.

[Jackie Uwe]

I. You really, you know, perks of being a wallflower. You accept the love you think you deserve.

[Shane Topp]

You're so right.

[Jackie Uwe]

I think you deserve more, Shane.

[Shane Topp]

Thank you, Jackie.

[Jackie Uwe]

Can I ask you one other question, Shane?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, you can ask one other question.

[Jackie Uwe]

Do you. Do you. Do you still stay in touch with Ellen or.

[Shane Topp]

What the heck? Oh, yeah.

[Jackie Uwe]

Do you. Y'all talk still?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. Yes, we still talk.

[Jackie Uwe]

Okay.

[Shane Topp]

Wow. Really means a lot that you know these.

[Jackie Uwe]

Hey. I was literally like, I was just watching Gilmore Girls, and I just didn't realize that we were so freaking connected because I was like, you know, some might call her a villain, you know, V. I don't know what you. I mean, I don't know. Vanessa. I know. Clearly you do, but.

[Shane Topp]

Right.

[Jackie Uwe]

I also almost sounded like right there. But anyway, yeah, like B, you know, and like Vanessa. So I might call her a villain.

[Shane Topp]

You're just saying, like, all my friends names. You're just like, I know all your friends.

[Jackie Uwe]

I know all your friends. So they're all on the Internet. No, that's just like, really cool. I just. I love that. I'm glad you're still in touch with them, you know?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, for sure. And I mean, like, Jackie, I know tons of information about you. Like, I know that you grew up in Stockton and that you were a big fan of the Kings, you know, back in the day when they had different players and stuff like that. And I know that red and blue makes you uncomfortable. Like.

[Kevin Riggs]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Where. I don't know where I got this stuff from at all, but I got it.

[Jackie Uwe]

Okay, let's ask you one more question.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, my God. Yes. Oh, my God.

[Jackie Uwe]

What have you. So how many. How many did you, you know about.

[Shane Topp]

Like, some surgery I had at some point.

[Jackie Uwe]

How is your dental work going? Are you. You haven't done anything yet, though, right? Like, are you. When are you planning to get some work done? Like, are you. Are you thinking about it? I don't know what's going on.

[Shane Topp]

I mean, I had a root canal recently, so.

[Jackie Uwe]

Are you gonna get that crown fixed?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. Pretty soon I'm gonna have to get it. Yeah. Wow. I can't. It's pretty like, it's like David Blaine. It's like David Blaine, but as a friend, you know, it's like if David Blaine was your best friend. That's how I feel right now. You know things that no one knows.

[Jackie Uwe]

Hey, Black girl magic, right?

[Shane Topp]

Exactly. That's. Man, I'm so glad I'm, I'm getting rid of Damien. Like, he's clearly the worst friend.

[Jackie Uwe]

Look, man, I'm committed to you.

[Shane Topp]

So thank you, Jackie. That, that means a lot. I feel really confident moving forward with a friend like you who knows about Ellen and my dental work. You know, stuff that I would. I, I, I have not been able to share with anyone else. But you just know about it.

[Jackie Uwe]

I do because I know you.

[Shane Topp]

You do know me.

[Ryan Higa]

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[Damien Ha]

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[Jackie Uwe]

Go ahead, Shane. I'm sorry, I keep interrupting.

[Shane Topp]

So this next question comes from at omnivore 22. What is the craziest thing you've done to catch the eye of a love interest? Actually, I think you and I are very similar when it comes to like, dating and flirting and stuff. I think you and I are terrified. Am I right? I am. I am terrible at making moves because I am just so certain that anything I do will come across creepy or just bad. I'm like, it's better to do nothing than to do anything.

[Jackie Uwe]

This is the, this is really the only thing that we don't have in common. Because I am, I will. I'll go for it.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, really?

[Jackie Uwe]

I am the type that will. If I am interested in someone, I will ask them out. And recently I've stopped doing that because it doesn't go as well as I think it will sometimes. But yeah, I just.

[Shane Topp]

How does it not go? How do. Like, obviously if you ask people out, there's a chance you might get rejected. But like, has it gone like, really bad or just. You've just Gotten a no.

[Jackie Uwe]

Sometimes I'll ask, how do I. How do I explain this? I just choose poorly, you know? So it's like, yeah, I want to go, oh, I love this person. I have a crush on them. And then I ask them out, and, like, let's say we go on our date, and I'm like, oh, they're actually, like, a dumpster fire.

[Shane Topp]

Well, that happens. That's. You know, that's. That's not your fault that they didn't. That you couldn't tell the dumpster was on fire. You thought you were asking out a regular dumpster.

[Jackie Uwe]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

And then you get on the date, and you're like, oh, this dumpster is on fire. Yeah, that I can't handle.

[Jackie Uwe]

Yes, that's. That. That has happened to me many a time. So I've just.

[Shane Topp]

So wait, you stop. You stopped asking people out because you think you have bad taste in just, like, who you initially have crushes on?

[Jackie Uwe]

Yes.

[Shane Topp]

So what. What's your hope now? But if someone asks you out and you're not initially attracted to them, would you say, yes?

[Jackie Uwe]

If someone asked me out and I wasn't initially attracted to them, I would go. I would still go out with them just to, like, give it a shot if I thought there was, like, a possibility, you know, Because I do believe in, like, growing to love people or just, like, getting to know I. I really want to get to know people. Right. Like, that's what I. That's kind of more how I've transitioned my dating style is like, I either want to date someone that I really want to get to know or someone that I already know and that I'm interested in and that I'm meeting more naturally. I'm air quotes. So like, friends of friends or mutual friends. So recently, there was this guy that is a mutual. I met through, like, a mutual friend, and we both found out we were both single, and then we were like, cool. I think you're cute. I think you're cute. And then we exchanged numbers, and that could go nowhere, and that's okay. But it was. It felt like the stakes were a lot lower in that type of situation because you're just. It's like, hey, I think you're cool. You seem interesting. Let's get to know each other. And then you never even mention the dating word until you're actually like, let's go on. Let's. Let's spend quality time together.

[Shane Topp]

Let's go to the ice rink together. Yeah, I think that's. I. Honestly, this might be a controversial opinion. But I don't know if I really buy into the whole, like, love at first sight. And just when people talk about the spark initially, like, I'm always just kind of hesitant about it because everyone's so different. And for people like me, my walls are pretty high up. Like, I'm very guarded, emotionally guarded person. And it's, it's. And as you're saying you were initially attracted to like, the wrong types of people for you, that's like a hard thing to accept of, like, oh, the spark sparks for the wrong people. It's like that's, that's kind of like not broken, but just misguided. So you're kind of like, have to consciously choose. And that's tough. That's scary because you're like, what is right for me?

[Jackie Uwe]

Yes, it's. It has been a journey that I'm on a journey because sometimes I feel like. I don't know, I feel like this happens to a lot of people when you're interested in someone and they have very clear red flags or things that they maybe need to work out or ways in which they treat people that are very clear. But you think that you're going to be able to fix them. I feel like years ago I used to be kind of on that energy, but it's kind of morphed into maybe I can learn something from them, which I think is worse. I don't know.

[Shane Topp]

I don't know.

[Jackie Uwe]

I'm not dating right now. We're in a pandemic, but there's too.

[Shane Topp]

Much shit to worry about. I think, like, maybe you don't need either. Like, you're going to learn things from other people no matter what. But it's really just finding the person that you. I think it is as simple as just someone that you just like, hanging out with.

[Jackie Uwe]

Right.

[Shane Topp]

You know, like someone you connect with and everything. And I'm not just saying this to you because you're my best friend. Like, I'm very confident that you'll be able to find someone that you connect with on that level. Like, I think it's just a matter of time. And LA is a tough place.

[Jackie Uwe]

It's very tough out in these streets.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. But I think it's really awesome. And I hope you do continue with asking guys out, because I think it's so cool and I think it's important. I've always hated the social norms of, like, this person's supposed to ask out this person. I'm like, no, if you find interest in the person, tell them, like, do it. And I've had girls. I think only one.

[Jackie Uwe]

You put a period there. I've had girls.

[Shane Topp]

I've had girls. I think. I think only one asked me out. And I thought it was so cool. Like, I have just so much respect for it. I think it's an incredibly awesome trait. It just shows confidence. So anyways, I think we can chalk that up as we're clearly best friends. Clearly, clearly best friends. Let's do one more question. It'll obviously prove that we're insanely best friends, no matter what. Katana Mika. 1N. So I don't know how to pronounce that. What is a hobby you do that no one knows about? And if everybody knows about it, just what's a fun hobby that I may not know about?

[Jackie Uwe]

Okay, so something that. It's funny because, like, sometimes my friends listen to the podcast and they've heard me talk about this endless, like, talk their ears off about it. But I'm really. Last year I made a commitment to becoming a fan of something. I was like, I just want to be a fanatic about something.

[Shane Topp]

That's great.

[Jackie Uwe]

I need this. I also, like, as an actor, I was like, all. I do all is all. I can't just think about acting all the time. Yeah, like, how boring is that? So I decided to become a fan of gymnastics. So I started like very aggressively watching like NCAA gymnastics. US gymnastics. It started actually, I guess this is two years now. But it started when Simone Biles was making her comeback this, this time around when she came back after Rio. But I watched like her first competition and every competition she's been in since then. And so now I'm just like very familiar with. I just have a lot of gymnastics.

[Shane Topp]

I think that's dope. That's super cool. Dude. Gymnastics is, it's. It sucks how many sports there are in the Olympics that. When I watch the Olympics, I'm like, this is the coolest thing I've ever watched. And then I go four years without watching that sport until I watch it again. And gymnastics is one of them. It's crazy.

[Jackie Uwe]

It's true. It's truly insane. And it's, it's because, I mean, I didn't want to be a four year fan of gymnastics, especially because this is probably Simone Biles his last Olympics. So I wanted to see her.

[Shane Topp]

How old is she? Isn't she like 24?

[Jackie Uwe]

Yeah. And that, I guess that's when they.

[Shane Topp]

Have to retire, right? Yeah. It's like, well, it's time to pack it up. You're 50 in this industry. Hello.

[Ryan Higa]

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[Shane Topp]

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[Jackie Uwe]

You know what's crazy though, is that one of the gymnasts, her name is Chelsea Memel. She's. She's from the 2008 silver. Silver medal winning Beijing team. The one with like nasty Luke and Shawn Johnson. She's actually making a comeback right now. And she's like. I mean, she's probably. I was like, she's older now. She's like her mid-30s.

[Shane Topp]

But like, oh, she, she.

[Jackie Uwe]

Yeah, but no, she's making a comeback right now and she's. I mean, she is super old for it for a gymnast.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Jackie Uwe]

So it's very cool watching her comeback career right now, but that's something that I could talk about forever.

[Shane Topp]

It's gotta suck. I think about this a lot, like with Michael Phelps. And then I definitely, I watched the Olympics when Simone Biles first, like, just started crushing it. It's got to suck to be a normal, just a professional athlete. And you come up and you're like, this is my time, right? At the time that someone like Simone Biles, like, like just one of those like legends shows up and you're just like, oh, fuck. Like. Because I remember watching Simone Biles go up and do the routine and it's just. You're watching a Marvel movie. You're like, well, all right. That's not human, that. Whatever she just did. Gravity is like, you know what? I'm gonna step out of this one. Yeah, I'll let you do whatever you want. Gravity just stops for a second. It's gotta suck to watch it. And just like, well, all right. Congrats on your 50 medals.

[Jackie Uwe]

It's funny because, like, when I listen to the commentary, they're always like, it's really just who's competing for second. Honestly, kind of like, she's kind of a bummer, but she's, she's just so dominant. It's, it's really fun to watch. And like, it's, I think about like those huge. How, like, how exciting is it to have like a huge, like, athlete and to see them, to see like their whole journey to like these like, big moments, you know.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, man.

[Jackie Uwe]

I think I was like, oh, I, I think I understand sports now.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, you know, that's what I love. I love. So I love football. There's obviously a lot of controversy around like the concussions and stuff. I hate that aspect. It's a bummer. But I love the players and I love watching because you are literally what. I can equate what I equate football to. And I try to tell Damian this all the time. Football and. But no, right? He doesn't get it. He. He refuses, he refuses to take interest in the things I have interest in. I love anime. He loves anime. Damian does not watch sports. But I watch sports because, and I tell him this, they're very similar to anime. They're all about the only way to like, win is to get better, to train constantly. And what I really love about sports is that it's not written so the, the meanest worst team can win. And they do a lot. And it's just a bummer. And you're just like, ah, Boston won again. They're the bad guys. But watching a player come as like a rookie and not be great and then five years later they're winning a Super bowl is so cool. It's so cool.

[Jackie Uwe]

I think that's the best part of sports, honestly, is getting to like, know your know the players and know everything about your team. You know, I think that's, that's the cool part.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah.

[Jackie Uwe]

Is like learning people's stories and, and also understanding like when someone gets injured or whatever or knowing like where they came from. And it's like, it's not just this injury. Like, this is like, this could be like a career ending injury or this could be like their third injury. Or it's like this person gets hit in the head one more time. Like, yeah, it could be over.

[Shane Topp]

You know, there's so many elements and there's also like a lot of math to it because there's always people's stats, right? And I know that's probably the same for gymnastics. It's just like they can jump this high, they can run this fast, and also just things like they. In the fourth quarter, they often do this thing. And seeing those play out against the like, more spiritual aspects of like, well, they all know that their favorite player the captain of the team is retiring after this game, and that stuff always means they're gonna win it. Like, those, like, movie moments are real.

[Jackie Uwe]

Yes.

[Shane Topp]

I mean, it can get intense where it's like, oh, the court. Here comes the quarterback. And he got news that his father passed away this week. And you're like, well, he's about to have the best game of his life. And he always does. Like, they. That. That sort of, like, emotional momentum is so real. Yeah, I love it. Like, I love all the. For me, it's like, it's a very nerdy obsession. It's like I'm obsessed with, like, the math of it. I'm like, I want to predict and do all this guesswork. So wait, we both love sports.

[Jackie Uwe]

We do. We both love sports.

[Shane Topp]

Best friends. We're best friends.

[Jackie Uwe]

Yes.

[Shane Topp]

I mean, Jackie, it's not. It's no longer a question of if you're my best friend. It's just like, how do I break the news to Damien? That's the question.

[Jackie Uwe]

I don't know, because this is. I don't know what that conversation is.

[Shane Topp]

Not even close. I think Damien's going to have to just accept it. Now we're moving on from questions, and we have our shoot. Dude. Oh, wait, hold on. Kevin saying to stand by really quick. Not sure what that means. Wait, hold on one second. What's. Hi. Oh, my God. What the heck is going on? Oh, my God. Damien. Hey.

[Jackie Uwe]

Hey, Damien.

[Kevin Riggs]

Hey, Jackie. I heard that this was a fun best friends podcast, so I thought I would be needed, but I can see I'm already here, so don't let me bug you. I am only on this zoom call because I needed to grab this. I needed it for business. Shane would know what this is. And I will. I'm not going to bother you, but I hope you're having a great day.

[Shane Topp]

Hey, Damien, I'm sorry. Really quick question. Really quick. Do you know, by any chance, do you know my dad's middle name?

[Kevin Riggs]

Oh, gosh darn. Shane. Yeah, Like, I'm going to forget a silly old middle name, like Royal.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, wow. Oh, yeah.

[Kevin Riggs]

That's something you forget then.

[Jackie Uwe]

Damien, you know his mom's name, right?

[Kevin Riggs]

Yes. Wait a minute. It's.

[Shane Topp]

It's. It's.

[Kevin Riggs]

So It's Robert Royal Top, and then is it Catherine?

[Jackie Uwe]

Yeah, but, like, what's her maiden name?

[Kevin Riggs]

Catherine.

[Jackie Uwe]

Where did you.

[Kevin Riggs]

Oh, that's right. I forgot the part where best friends just look up Wikipedias of each other. That's so cool.

[Jackie Uwe]

You came in real hot today, Damien. I'm just saying. Jackie.

[Shane Topp]

I'm just saying. Guys, welcome to Dramacast.

[Jackie Uwe]

I'm just saying, if you're a real friend, you would know her maiden name. Damian.

[Kevin Riggs]

Yeah. Well, I've got thoughts for you. What? What character name has Shane had in a show or movie that I have also had in a video game or show or movie?

[Jackie Uwe]

You mean like Shane Szabo, like, from so random? Zabo. Zabo, Zebo.

[Kevin Riggs]

No, because we both haven't been named Shane, Zabo, or Zabo.

[Jackie Uwe]

Oh, like that. You both. I'm sorry. You asked that question in a very confusing manner.

[Kevin Riggs]

This has been a very confusing day, Jackie.

[Jackie Uwe]

I'm so sorry.

[Kevin Riggs]

Frankly, I'm very confused right now.

[Shane Topp]

I like how you just. In order to prove you who's my best friend, you guys are just slowly doxing me, just like.

[Kevin Riggs]

Yeah, well, where does Shane address and password to his building? Go on, Shane, tell us your Social Security.

[Shane Topp]

What does he have a security alarm set to.

[Jackie Uwe]

You mean 5384?

[Shane Topp]

What's he allergic to? And how do you slip it into his drink?

[Kevin Riggs]

I've been slowly Munchausening shame for years.

[Jackie Uwe]

Okay, okay.

[Shane Topp]

I love that it's a continuous verb. Munchausen.

[Kevin Riggs]

Munchausen's by proxying Shane for a while.

[Shane Topp]

Okay, okay, okay, guys, the answer was.

[Kevin Riggs]

Dennis, by the way.

[Shane Topp]

Okay, Stop the guy.

[Jackie Uwe]

Stop fighting.

[Shane Topp]

All right, look, for the time being, let's settle on the fact that you're both my best friend.

[Kevin Riggs]

That was real quick for her, though. That was real quick. Just, here's my thing. I don't want to be a possessive best friend. I can hold space for you to have other friends. I think I have a chip on my shoulder because, Jackie, I don't know if you saw this video, but we did a best friends competition before where I didn't happen to get all the questions right.

[Jackie Uwe]

Yeah, I watched that one.

[Kevin Riggs]

You did?

[Jackie Uwe]

I. I would have done really well.

[Kevin Riggs]

Damien, I'm trying to connect with you here. I want you to meet me halfway.

[Jackie Uwe]

Oh, sorry. Okay, let me. Let me roll back. I'm saying. Yeah, I saw that, and I felt for you.

[Kevin Riggs]

Thank you. I've just had it questioned a bunch, and, like, Jack, you're awesome. Everybody loves you. I'm just. Using superlatives is hard.

[Jackie Uwe]

Hey, Damien, you know what? Like, look, I. I don't want to fight you.

[Shane Topp]

I don't.

[Kevin Riggs]

I wouldn't want to fight me either.

[Jackie Uwe]

I really. I really like you, you know, and I feel like. I feel like, you know, like, Shane is. Shane is. My hand is doing More really poor object work. My hand is Shane's up here. Okay, that's bestie. But, like, you know Damian, like, you're pretty. You're pretty close. Like, you're a solid friend.

[Shane Topp]

You're like, at the campsite, you stop at halfway up the mountain. You're like, this place sucks, and you just got to keep going.

[Kevin Riggs]

I'm proud to be both of y'all's silver medal.

[Jackie Uwe]

I mean, someone's got to get second look at that sports reference.

[Kevin Riggs]

Yeah, yeah. Sports is.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. Damien, she loves sports.

[Kevin Riggs]

Is like anime. Shane.

[Shane Topp]

I said that. So why don't you watch sports?

[Kevin Riggs]

I do watch sports.

[Shane Topp]

What sports do you watch?

[Kevin Riggs]

Darts.

[Jackie Uwe]

You said that confidently.

[Kevin Riggs]

I watch darts all the time. I watch darts. You. We talked.

[Shane Topp]

Who's your favorite darts player?

[Kevin Riggs]

Darth Dart. Darth Dart. Dart Brooks.

[Shane Topp]

Dart Mole.

[Kevin Riggs]

Darth Brooks.

[Jackie Uwe]

Dart Brooks.

[Shane Topp]

Yes. All their first names are dart.

[Kevin Riggs]

They become that if they're dedicated to the sport, which we both love.

[Shane Topp]

It's like becoming a doctor. You become a dart.

[Kevin Riggs]

Yes. Okay, who's. Who's your favorite football player? On three. One, two, three. Andrew Luck. Terrell Suggs.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, whoa. Jackie's is Von Miller too.

[Jackie Uwe]

Yeah, I love him.

[Shane Topp]

That's crazy.

[Kevin Riggs]

Oh, yeah. If you really are a Von Miller fan, what's he smell like?

[Jackie Uwe]

Ooh, chest chewy corn. Patchouli corn.

[Kevin Riggs]

You know, it does smell like patchouli sometimes. Olivia. Maybe she would want to be my best friend.

[Shane Topp]

Maybe. Guys, let's look. Let's just settle on the fact that you're both my best friend.

[Kevin Riggs]

Let's settle in there.

[Shane Topp]

No need to fight. We can settle this later in a different video.

[Jackie Uwe]

All right.

[Shane Topp]

But for the time being, let's read today's Shoot Dude.

[Jackie Uwe]

Okay.

[Shane Topp]

And it's a good one. Today's Shoot dude comes from Melissa.

[Kevin Riggs]

Here we go.

[Shane Topp]

Back when I was 18, I was lucky enough to get my very own car to take to college for the first time. It was a used Honda Civic hatchback. Nice. Honda Civic gang. And of course, I had to get a vanity plate to show off how cool I was. Was one of my favorite movies is Breakfast at Tiffany's. So I decided to get Go Lightly. Pronounced go lightly, but it was spelled out G O, L, Y, T L, Y because it has to be shortened for license plate as my license plate as an homage to Holly Go Lightly, Audrey Hepburn's character. So I excitedly brought my car onto campus for pharmacy school. Unfortunately, and way too late when I started work. When I started working part time in a pharmacy to help pay for School expenses. I quickly learned that Go. Go lightly. This is with. This is G O L Y T E L Y. Go Lightly is a brand of bowel prep for colonoscopy. The shorthand I had used to fit my Audrey Hepburn homage on my license plate almost exactly matched a popular brand of electrolyte compound to make you poop all night long. Of course, it was too late. I could. I couldn't justify paying the money to change it. So I spent five years driving around pharmacy school with the name of a gallon sized poop inducer on the back of my car. Needless to say, I no longer have vanity plates. That's rough.

[Jackie Uwe]

Shoot.

[Shane Topp]

That is a shoot. Dude.

[Kevin Riggs]

It's double rough. Because it is the only environment where people would actually like, know that and care.

[Shane Topp]

I was going to say that. Yeah. You can't hide that because anywhere else would be like, I don't know. Wow, that is pretty crazy.

[Jackie Uwe]

It's pretty crazy. I go lightly stuff and it does not taste good.

[Kevin Riggs]

I actually have as well.

[Jackie Uwe]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Whoa.

[Jackie Uwe]

Shane, have you had it right?

[Kevin Riggs]

Jackie and I are connecting real deep right now.

[Jackie Uwe]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, I. Yeah, I've had. I've had. Yeah, yeah. But that stuff, it's. It comes in a blue bottle.

[Kevin Riggs]

Jackie, I don't think this man's has ever had a colonoscopy.

[Jackie Uwe]

Yeah, I don't think he has had a colonoscopy. I don't think he's ever had a gallon of poop inducer at all.

[Shane Topp]

Wow. I never thought it would come to this. But I guess. You know what? You guys are clearly best friends and that's fine.

[Kevin Riggs]

Hey, you know what's cool about that, Shane, is like you and I built up a best friendship over a long amount of time. And Jackie clearly like outdid that in like 40ish minutes. Well, do you notice how I've only been on this call for about five now, Jackie and I totally undid even yours in like five minutes. So this is the most powerful friendship anyone's ever seen.

[Jackie Uwe]

Yeah. I mean, yeah, that black girl Magic man is strong.

[Shane Topp]

This is a twist I didn't see coming. And it's honestly a huge bummer for me.

[Jackie Uwe]

Don't cry. I know you cried earlier today already when you got your COVID test, but please don't cry.

[Shane Topp]

You did remember that. You have such a great memory, Jackie.

[Kevin Riggs]

You did. You did actually. You cried.

[Shane Topp]

That's good, Jackie. You're such. You're such a good friend. Damien. I'm. I'm really happy you found a best friend. Like Jackie.

[Kevin Riggs]

Me too. It's about damn time, too.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. All right, well, I want to thank my two former best friends for coming on the podcast today. Jackie Ue and Damien Ha. Kevin Riggs. Thanks to him for. For running this whole thing. Hopefully, he can be my best friend now.

[Kevin Riggs]

No, no, no, no, no. Kevin and I are close. We went to Japan together. When you wouldn't. Don't try that.

[Shane Topp]

Okay.

[Kevin Riggs]

Wrong tree, Chipper.

[Jackie Uwe]

That's really awkward. Shane. Don't do that. Shane.

[Shane Topp]

Okay, okay. Seriously, this has been great. Oh, and. And remember to send your Shoot dudes to shoot [e-mail]. that's shoot d o o [e-mail] and thank you guys so much. This has been. This has honestly been really funny. You guys are great.

[Kevin Riggs]

Thanks, man.

[Jackie Uwe]

Jackie's great, too. Thanks, bestie.

[Shane Topp]

All right, well, look, we're all best friends here. And I think for those listening to. To be our best friends as well. It's very easy. You can just rate this pod five stars. You can catch the uncensored audio on Wednesdays on all your podcasting platforms. And you can watch us. You can watch the video version on Fridays. It is censored, but you can see our faces. You can see Jackie's incredible space work. And that's it. So thank you, best friends, and we'll talk later.

[Kevin Riggs]

Yeah, we'll talk about this in the Honda.

[Shane Topp]

We'll talk about this in the Honda Civic hatchback. Okay. Yeah. With Go lightly written on the vanity plate.

[Jackie Uwe]

Yeah. We have a lot to talk about offline, guys.

[Kevin Riggs]

We do.

[Shane Topp]

It's about to get crazy.

[Kevin Riggs]

I will be sending you a letter, each with a tin can with string attached.

[Jackie Uwe]

Noted.

[Shane Topp]

Bye.

[Jackie Uwe]

Bye.

[Shane Topp]

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[Jackie Uwe]

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[Damien Ha]

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