S2: #85 - American Horror Story: Adulting

Summary

Smosh Mouth – Season 2, Episode 85: American Horror Story: Adulting

Release Date: October 21, 2020

In Episode 85 of Smosh Mouth, titled "American Horror Story: Adulting," hosts Shayne Topp (Shayne), Amanda Lehan-Canto (Courtney), and Damian Hauser (Damian) embark on a candid and humorous exploration of the challenges associated with becoming and being an adult. The episode delves into the multifaceted aspects of adulting, offering listeners relatable anecdotes, insightful discussions, and practical advice to navigate the complexities of grown-up life, especially in the tumultuous context of 2020.

---

1. Introduction to Adulting

The episode opens with the trio setting the stage for an in-depth conversation about adulthood. Shayne introduces the topic by acknowledging the prevalent insecurities and challenges that come with transitioning into adult responsibilities.

Shayne ([00:22]): "There's so many things that I was just so deeply insecure about when I was a teenager that now I'm just like, yeah, that's who I am."

2. Navigating the Modern Adulthood Landscape

Damian initiates the discussion by highlighting the unique hardships faced by the current generation. He points out the unprecedented sense of isolation brought about by modern societal changes.

Damian ([05:55]): "We have this weird sense of isolation that hasn't been felt before."

Shayne concurs, emphasizing the difficulty in understanding past generations' experiences due to the lack of accessible social media records.

Shayne ([06:24]): "We're not gonna get drafted to go to Nam, but you gotta stay home forever and never talk to a person."

3. The Struggle for Independent Decision-Making

A significant portion of the episode centers on the challenges of making independent decisions without excessive reliance on others' opinions. Courtney shares her personal struggle with decision-making, especially in professional settings.

Courtney ([12:45]): "I actually struggle with it a lot sometimes... I'm expecting... to be able to be led to the right decision."

Damian adds his perspective, recounting his own journey towards trusting his instincts and the importance of embracing failure as a part of growth.

Damian ([12:32]): "You do have to practice learning how to fail and knowing that every decision isn't going to lead to something perfect."

4. Overcoming Phone Call Anxiety

Listener questions lead the hosts to discuss common anxieties related to phone conversations, particularly in professional contexts like job applications. Courtney offers a transformative outlook based on her experiences in customer-facing roles.

Courtney ([20:05]): "Every conversation with somebody you don't know is just practice for the next one. Make their day a little bit better by just being a nice customer."

Damian echoes this sentiment, emphasizing the importance of having clear goals during phone interactions to mitigate anxiety.

Damian ([22:32]): "Have a goal in mind... and just say hi, here's my problem. That's it."

5. Balancing Work and Self-Care

The hosts delve into the perennial challenge of maintaining a healthy work-life balance. Shayne candidly discusses his own struggles with work anxiety and the destructive cycle of constant productivity.

Shayne ([36:19]): "I always have this thing in the back of my head of being like, how am I being productive right now."

Courtney shares her strategies for balancing work with personal time, such as using planners to organize tasks and prioritize self-care.

Courtney ([33:49]): "I write down my meetings... and then give myself one hour of me time."

6. Essential Adult Skills: Cooking, Laundry, and More

Transitioning into practical adulting skills, the hosts share their humorous yet enlightening experiences with everyday tasks like cooking and laundry.

• Laundry Mishaps: Courtney recounts her first foray into handling dishes in a shared apartment, leading to a messy spill.

  Courtney ([48:00]): "I tried popping the salad box open and all the leaves went everywhere."

• Cooking Adventures: Shayne and Damian discuss their initial struggles and eventual mastery of basic cooking techniques, emphasizing the importance of following recipes and embracing mistakes.

  Shayne ([55:02]): "You can make everything delicious. I think it's... keep it simple."

7. Listener 'Shoot Dude' Stories

A highlight of the episode is the "Shoot Dude" segment, where listeners submit their most embarrassing adulting moments. An anonymous caller shares a vivid story of tripping in Santa Monica while possibly mistaking Shayne for his doppelgänger.

Anonymous Listener ([58:26]): "I was staring very hard, trying to distinguish whether it was just another white dude or him... I may or may not have tripped and eaten absolute shit against the asphalt."

The hosts respond with a mix of disbelief and humor, sharing their own similar experiences to empathize with the listener.

Shayne ([60:07]): "You've never been to Santa Monica?"

Courtney ([50:00]): "I actually love Mario Kart."

8. Final Reflections and Encouragement

As the episode concludes, the hosts offer heartfelt advice on self-acceptance and the importance of embracing the imperfect nature of adulthood.

Shayne ([43:49]): "You're allowed to slow down. You're allowed to stop."

Courtney ([56:51]): "Those tasks aren't as big a deal... Sometimes when it's over in just a few moments..."

Damian ([57:46]): "Don't beat yourself up for not knowing something yet. You have to learn it somehow."

They emphasize that adulting is a continuous learning process, encouraging listeners to trust themselves, seek help when needed, and recognize that everyone is navigating the same journey.

---

Notable Quotes:

1. Shayne ([05:09]):

   "We're talking about what it's like being an adult, how to become an adult, how we're doing as adults."

2. Damian ([12:32]):

   "You do have to practice learning how to fail and knowing that every decision isn't going to lead to something perfect."

3. Courtney ([16:02]):

   "I'll give myself one hour to do it. After that, no matter what, uninterrupted, I want 90 minutes of me time."

4. Shayne ([18:48]):

   "I'm just like, yeah, I can be indecisive. Oh, I'm okay. That's not the end of the world."

5. Damian ([24:07]):

   "You need to have some time to decompress. So to not let it affect the quality of your work, just do the most... the best job you can during the time that you've allotted."

---

Key Takeaways:

• Embrace Imperfection: Adulting involves making mistakes, and it's essential to accept and learn from them rather than strive for unattainable perfection.

• Prioritize Self-Care: Balancing work with personal time is crucial for mental and emotional well-being. Scheduling and setting boundaries can aid in achieving this balance.

• Develop Independent Decision-Making: Building confidence in making decisions without excessive reliance on others fosters personal growth and autonomy.

• Learn Practical Skills: Mastering everyday tasks like cooking and laundry is fundamental to independent living and contributes to self-sufficiency.

• Seek Support When Needed: It's okay to lean on friends, family, or professionals when facing challenges, as seeking help is a sign of strength, not weakness.

In "American Horror Story: Adulting," Smosh Mouth delivers a blend of humor, relatability, and genuine advice, making it a valuable resource for anyone grappling with the intricacies of adult life. The hosts' honest conversations and shared experiences provide comfort and encouragement, reinforcing that adulting is a shared journey filled with both challenges and triumphs.

Transcript

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[Courtney Miller]

Self care is a lot like car care. You aren't just gonna be nice to your car and just be with it. Like you need to put the work in, change the oil.

[Damian Hauser]

You know, my mom was always like cut things down on a cutting board and never lift it up. I'm like, mom is fine. I don't know what to do. And like now, here, a long time later, I like sl my thumb clean open. I was like, oh, this is what she meant with the I need to go to the hospital.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. Cuz in high school they're like, you have a fly. You can't admit that you're a loser.

[Damian Hauser]

You mean people talk to y'all in high school? That's dope.

[Courtney Miller]

Welcome back to the Smosh cast, everybody. We gotta. We got that good stuff today. Welcome. It is 75°. No, it's not.

[Damian Hauser]

Yeah. Welcome back to 987 the Sturge. We got a new kind of sound for you today.

[Shane Topp]

And welcome back to hardcore Smosh. Smosh. But hardcore. We're talking about the history of smosh and its hardcore nature. We do a radio lab on it. You're watching. You're watching. Okay, Is this on?

[Courtney Miller]

That's entirely possible.

[Damian Hauser]

You're listening to 99 97. The bird in the. In the morning. In the morning.

[Courtney Miller]

You're happy.

[Damian Hauser]

I love you. Did you guys ever listen to Big boys neighborhood?

[Courtney Miller]

What that was.

[Damian Hauser]

It was on Power 106. Or used to be on Power 100. It was that morning show where it'd be like big boys neighborhood and everyone would be like, woo. And you hear the cowboy like digging again. Like it was the only. It was only the morning. It was the only morning show I listened to.

[Shane Topp]

All those notes I do love. I do miss those. I don't listen to the radio, but I do miss the, like, it's bean and ball sack in the morning.

[Damian Hauser]

So being I've been looking at this thing, these kids are on a talk talk. You see you looking at this.

[Courtney Miller]

I had this sketch I wanted to do forever ago where it's like, DJ does more of his. His sounds for his own name than actual music. DJ Floppy Boy. DJ Floppy Boy. Floppy Boy.

[Damian Hauser]

There's one in Los Angeles that actually does do that on the radio. It's obnoxious. I'm calling it out. You know what? I'm not gonna call out the name because people probably know this person, but let's say their name is Poopy. And it literally in the middle of a song, you'll hear Ariana Grande singing. And all of a sudden in the middle, you'll just hear a voice go poopy. Like in the middle of a song, like three times.

[Shane Topp]

How they ruin songs by just putting their stuff in the middle of it.

[Damian Hauser]

But they're not even doing DJ stuff. It's literally like someone whispering. There was like, poopy, Poopy. It's a radio person. They didn't even make the song.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, that's stupid. So anyways, I've heard that.

[Shane Topp]

Anyways. Welcome to the Smosh Cast. You crazy.

[Courtney Miller]

Welcome back.

[Shane Topp]

It's the Smosh cast and it's me, your host, Shane Topp. I'm here with some special guests. Courtney Miller.

[Courtney Miller]

Hi.

[Shane Topp]

And Damian Howes.

[Damian Hauser]

Hey, everyone, I'm Damian howes. I'm a 3/4 way through a sugar free Red Bull. You did a pretty good job.

[Courtney Miller]

That's my favorite new voice scene.

[Damian Hauser]

Makes me very happy that y'all like that. Literally.

[Shane Topp]

In Australia, you just. We were at the beach and you just started talking like that.

[Damian Hauser]

Pretty windy day today.

[Shane Topp]

For those at home, you have to talk by only. You kind of like breathe out as you talk.

[Damian Hauser]

It's kind of like a laugh cough.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. Like you coug all your words.

[Courtney Miller]

I have menstrual cramps.

[Damian Hauser]

Yeah, menstrual cramps today.

[Shane Topp]

Really quick. I want to take a second. Damien. Yeah.

[Damian Hauser]

What's up, Shane?

[Shane Topp]

I listened to the podcast from last week.

[Damian Hauser]

What'd you think about it?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, I thought it was, you know, interesting that you and ify are now best friends, you know?

[Damian Hauser]

Well, you know, Shane, I. I listened to your podcast maybe a month prior. Richard Prior? No. Where you and Jackie became such good friends. And I just, I. I Don't know if you're the type of person that expects me to wait around for you, but I had to move on.

[Shane Topp]

Okay, okay. That's fair. You know, I think listeners can listen to those podcasts.

[Courtney Miller]

Listeners can listen. Good job, Shania.

[Damian Hauser]

Yes. Stupid.

[Shane Topp]

That was pretty good.

[Damian Hauser]

I burped in your ears.

[Shane Topp]

That's fine. You know what? We're all best friends.

[Damian Hauser]

Great.

[Shane Topp]

I think that's fine.

[Damian Hauser]

Courtney, bat her up.

[Courtney Miller]

Who's my new best friend? It's you. I thought you have. If he.

[Damian Hauser]

If he's old news.

[Shane Topp]

That's last week's shit. We're all, we've moved on.

[Damian Hauser]

That's that old.

[Shane Topp]

Guys, today we're talking about being an adult. We're talking about growing up, talking about adultery, what's. Yeah, we're talking about affairs. We're talking about what it's like being an adult, how to become an adult, how we're doing as adults. And we took a bunch of questions from listeners on any concerns about being an adult. And it's tough, man. It's especially tough in 2020. I think 2020 has made being an adult, being a person, significantly more challenging.

[Damian Hauser]

Well, I think every generation has its own hardships when it comes to adulthood. This just happens to be ours. It's a weird sense of isolation that hasn't been felt before, as opposed to like, we're not gonna get drafted to go to Nam, but you gotta stay home forever and never talk to a person, Right?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, that's true. It's tough to know exactly what I mean. You can. You can know to a certain degree, but it's tough to know what life was like for our parents and stuff when they were our age, because all we have is their memories to really talk about it. Whereas now we've got so much social media, like, evidence of stuff being talked about. You can't go back and look at social media from back then. Like, you just hear. I just hear what my parents said they thought it was like back then.

[Courtney Miller]

And I feel like some parents and children, or parents and their. Their kids, their relationship, like, isn't in a place all the time where they'll just, like, tell you a lot about their life. Like, for me, I didn't learn a lot about my parents personal lives when they're younger. Like, I have to know to ask. And like, when you're younger, you don't know what to ask. And so when you don't know what.

[Shane Topp]

To learn, like, it's also tough because, like, I think about when I'm in my 50s and stuff. And my children or grandchildren ask me about when I was younger. I'm probably gonna leave things out. Not out of, like, trying to sugarcoat things, but just out of, like, pure. Just, like, embarrassment. Maybe, like, my biggest, like, failures are, like, just dumb stuff. You're just not gonna tell them because it also feels, like, inappropriate to tell them that stuff.

[Damian Hauser]

Well, it's also hard to, like, think about it full scale. Like, everything. Like, you're gonna leave stuff out by mistake. Kids are gonna be like, what were heelys? And I'm like, oh, I never even mentioned heelys to you because I didn't think about it. Like, Covid might be that for us in a decade or so, or, God, I don't wanna have.

[Shane Topp]

It's also tough because inevitably, and this is a thing in psychology is you do look back fondly on the past because your brain naturally will filter out a lot of negative, boring things. Not always, like, the worst things you'll probably remember, but a lot of just the mundane things you'll remove. So, like, it's like how I already look back on so random. And I'm like, God, what an amazing time. But I knew there were days on so random where we were just bored or just not having a great time.

[Damian Hauser]

Exhausted, or I had a costume that cut off my circulation.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, it wasn't. It wasn't. But. But it's so easy to look back on 10 years ago and especially in the future, like, to look back 30 years and just go, oh, man. See, things were easier back. It's like, no, it wasn't necessarily like. And that's why every generation looks down on the young generation and goes, man, this generation's going to hell. And it's just like, every generation does that. And I'm trying to remember. I'm not gonna do that. Because you'll do it.

[Courtney Miller]

You'll do it.

[Shane Topp]

No, I swear I'm not gonna do it.

[Damian Hauser]

And I'll tell you what, you already shot Batami Bahama. You're so close to becoming that dude.

[Shane Topp]

Me and my Hawaiian shirt and khaki shorts. I had a. I had a Lyft driver once who really, I was just. I admired this guy. And I was like, this is who I want to be. Like, he was probably in his early 70s, maybe late 60s. And I was asking him, like, why are you a Lyft driver? Because he said, like, he's retired, he's got plenty of money, has a nice house. He's like, I love talking to people. And he's just like, you know, people my age, they really look down on millennials and these younger generations. But I'll tell you what, driving around, driving these people, these young people are so smart and they're so great. And he's just like, I'm learning so much from them. And I was just like, that's so cool. I was like, this guy and he seemed. There was like a liveliness and a youth to this guy. That's awesome. So I'm like, you are still actively learning. And I'm like, by saying the younger generations are crappy and going to hell and stuff means your generation failed at raising them. And I'm like, you don't you want to, like, admit you guys gave us.

[Damian Hauser]

Participation trophies and then made fun of us for it?

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, exactly. I'm like, don't you want to, like, it's what blows me away this year with so many parents being mad at their kids, for their kids disagreeing with them. I'm like, don't you want to believe that your kid became an adult who was smarter than you? I will. I. I hope when I have a kid and they turn 18, I'm like, I hope I'm now. I now get to go. You know what I'm learning from you. I raised you, I gave you all the tools. Hopefully you're now super smart, wiser than me.

[Courtney Miller]

I think it's also safe to say there's no mission complete in becoming an adult.

[Damian Hauser]

For sure.

[Courtney Miller]

There's no mission complete in a lot of self improving. So even when someone is like, it's great that that Uber driver was just still willing to learn. Like, you didn't. Even when I was 13, I thought. I thought I had it all figured out. So. No, you're far from it. And you kind of. I think it's good to always understand that you aren't done.

[Shane Topp]

No, you're never done. You're always a student.

[Damian Hauser]

What I'm stoked about is, like, the lighter side of that. We're like, look at our generation right now. Toys, games, they used to be viewed as kid things. Now we're mid to late 20s, and we're still just like, oh, there's a new Pokemon coming out. I understand. It's not necessarily for me, they make it with kids in mind, but I'm stoked for that. I'm excited for this generation to get old and be that late 60s, early 70s, and like, be a Lyft driver or whatever we've got then. And then, like, two younger people in the background having their version of Like a Pokemon card battle and be like, yo, you guys collect Pokemon cards? You guys want to trade while I drive?

[Shane Topp]

Dude, no. That's one of my life goals, is stoked. That's one of my goals, is to school my grandchildren at video games.

[Damian Hauser]

What's this game? Smash Bros.

[Shane Topp]

I guess I'll try it for the first time already. Already I got my work cut out for me because I think my niece is getting really good at Mario Kart.

[Damian Hauser]

You gotta stop her.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, I love Mario Kart.

[Shane Topp]

She's. She's getting good already.

[Damian Hauser]

You gotta stop. You gotta lie to her. Something. Gotta start early if you want to win, man.

[Courtney Miller]

So let's get into these questions. Today, we are going to be your parents, and we are going to be.

[Shane Topp]

Because we are your dad.

[Damian Hauser]

Okay, Kevin.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay.

[Shane Topp]

Okay. So we're already getting into it. We've got some questions here, and I really like this first question asks, how do I learn to be independent on decisions? It's becoming harder to make decisions for myself without having a second opinion or feeling guilty because I think I did something selfish. Man. That's good. And that's good for this. That's good for this crowd, this crew, for sure. Yeah.

[Damian Hauser]

I can start off with some stuff if it's cool. I had to practice learning how to fail and knowing that every decision isn't going to lead to something perfect. You figure something out on your own, you stick to it, and you don't second guess your instincts necessarily. Like, I remember when we were roommates, anytime I was texting a girl, I would literally come to you, be like, hey, man, does this. Does this sound okay? And it would literally be like, hey, thinking about you. How's your day? I'd be like. I'd be like, is this. Is this good? Or should I. I mean, what should I say? Should I bring up that thing that she said two weeks ago? Like, and I would do that for every text. And I didn't even know. I didn't know how to have a conversation without some help. And eventually it had to be like, hey, man, if you're not going to be able to talk to this girl on your own anyway, maybe it's not supposed to be a thing. It's okay to, quote, unquote, fail.

[Shane Topp]

It reminds me of that spongebob scene where he writes furious. He's writing a letter, and he writes furiously for, like, a whole minute. And it just says, yeah.

[Damian Hauser]

Do you know they changed that episode, by the way? No, he had, like, an acid trip in the original, basically, where like, things were coming out of the woodwork in his house, freaking him out. Now they completely changed it to him looking outside and seeing his friends play because they got too scary for the kids.

[Shane Topp]

So that's like being an adult. Courtney, how do you feel about decision making?

[Courtney Miller]

I actually struggle with it a lot sometimes. Especially when it's like I have to decide between two, like, equally fine things. Especially even lately when I'm directing videos. Like our. Our dp Brandon will be like, well, we could do this shot or like, we have this other shot option. I'll be like, I literally feel like I'm a horse with blinds on. And I'm expecting. I'm expecting to be able to be led to the right decision. And I just don't know where to go. I don't know what gender this person identifies as, but I know that sometimes I feel like I kind of grew up not fully being able to trust my own opinion on things. Because you're expect. Cause you always expect someone else in the room to interject and either confirm or completely deny your opinion. I also think that you should. Your opinion has value. And I understand. Like, sometimes I am afraid to make a decision because I want so badly to please the other people in the room and make everyone happy with my decision. But in that I'm kind of like, not thinking about myself as much. I honestly struggle with this a lot. Like, I still haven't figured it out.

[Damian Hauser]

Sure.

[Shane Topp]

It's a constant struggle.

[Damian Hauser]

I think, like you said, there's no mission complete. Even with that.

[Shane Topp]

This is definitely something that you keep working on your entire life. And, you know, the fact that you're already worrying about being selfish means you're probably never. I can't say never, but you're not going to be because you're considering it so heavily. I think it's about knowing, like, really listening to yourself going, well, this is where I'm. What I'm feeling. Am I holding myself back? Because I feel others would disagree. And I think it's also important to always be open to other people's opinions, to really listen to them, but to not let them live your life and decide your mindset while also simultaneously not going screw other people and what they think. You know, because we see so much of that. We see that. I think we do see that in a lot of older generations, and I mean young generations too. I mean, I mean, there's people like that and it's not good to cut everyone off. But at the same time, you have to make.

[Damian Hauser]

It's okay to give Yourself like a little taste of that? Like, yeah, you know, sit down and flip it on yourself. Think about, is everybody else that you know more qualified to make that decision? Why are they more qualified than you? Well, if they're not, then maybe you do know what you need to do. And actually, what I used to do in my early 20s especially, I used to flip a coin and be like, all right, if I'm not qualified to make this decision and I truly don't know what to do, I will flip a coin and go with it no matter what. And I was like, I will leave this decision up to chaos. If I can't make this decision, then I leave it up to chaos often.

[Shane Topp]

And I would do it often. Flipping a coin will just reveal how you feel about it. Yeah, you flip a coin, you go, okay, do I want to go do this thing? Heads, I go do it. Tails, I don't flip it, it's tails. And you're like, well, I feel like I kind of want to. And it's like, okay, that's what I want. That's what I want to do.

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[Courtney Miller]

Apply I will say one thing that I do when I'm like having trouble trying to decide between two things is trying to picture literally like how that decision will affect me down the road or like what are the worst case scenarios or best case scenarios of that? See, I'm a very much an overthinker, as you can see. But thinking of the best case and worst case for each of those decisions and which costs more to me emotionally.

[Shane Topp]

Sometimes it really comes down to. Because no matter, no amount of thinking is going to maybe make your decision at a certain point. And sometimes it just comes to, well, I'm making, I'm here's what I'm going to do. And you know what? It could go bad, it could go well, but I'm doing it and you just keep. You just got to start working on that muscle of just doing it.

[Damian Hauser]

Yep.

[Shane Topp]

So often. Because I am the most overthinky it can get. And a lot of times it comes down to just doing it. You just do it, like, in there. It's as simple as that. And I can't remember where this quote came from, but it's one of my favorites, is someone was talking about, like, you don't need motivation. There's this idea that it's like, well, I got to build up the motivation to do. It's like, man, you're looking for another. That's an excuse. Is that you need that motivation sometimes. You just got to do it. Maybe you don't have the motivation.

[Damian Hauser]

You don't.

[Shane Topp]

Maybe you don't have the, like, the thing thought out. And you're never going to think it out enough. Just go do it. No one's going to give you the. The answer.

[Damian Hauser]

There's a lot of concepts like that that are made up. Like motivation, closure, all those things. Like, start. Start looking at things in your life that might just kind of be made up.

[Shane Topp]

Most of those things are honestly just. They're a concept in your own head. Yeah, they just. You. You're making that up. You just. There is action, and there is the reality. I think sometimes with those. When you're having trouble making decision, it's sometimes just about grounding yourself, taking a deep breath, looking around the room going, here's where I'm at. All right, let's just do this. Yeah, just go. And, man, it doesn't get easier. It doesn't really get easier.

[Courtney Miller]

I mean, so I think one thing that gets easier is like. Like, for me, if I'm in between two tough decisions, and, like, I feel really anxious because I'm, like, worried I'm gonna make the wrong choice. Confiding that and the people that you're close with can be very helpful. You're like, hey, listen, I can't choose what's going on right now. Like, it makes me really anxious like, that I'm gonna not pick the right thing. Like, can you help me out? Like, that's totally okay.

[Damian Hauser]

Totally. It's okay to lean on people sometimes. Just if you don't have the ability to ever make a decision for yourself, then practice it. And I think that's it.

[Shane Topp]

You know, actually on that, I will say I was in a. What does get easier is kind of what you were saying is, as you get older, I do think a lot of things get easier because you start to Just recognize and accept so many aspects of yourself that you're uncomfortable with when you're a teenager and younger is. There's so many things that I was just so deeply insecure about when I was a teenager that now I'm just like, yeah, that's. That's who I am.

[Damian Hauser]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

And I'm just like, that's. Oh. Like, I used to hate that I was indecisive, and I wouldn't admit that, and I would be like, oh, yeah, I'm not. And now I'm just like, oh, yeah, I can be indecisive. Oh, I'm okay. That's not the end of the world. And now I can just adjust, because.

[Courtney Miller]

In high school, they're like, you have a flaw. You can't admit that you're a loser.

[Shane Topp]

No, you just.

[Damian Hauser]

You mean people talk to y'all in high school.

[Shane Topp]

That's dope. I think we can move on. Yeah, that's not. Our next question comes from Drill. Oh, God. My favorite Twitter account, Woodland Unicorn asks. I hate talking on the phone at all, but especially if it's with someone that, like, isn't my mom. Lmao. It's at the point where I can't even apply to a job because phone calls are part of it. So any advice on that mess? Lmao.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, my gosh. Somebody go.

[Shane Topp]

Talking on the phone sucks. Let's be honest. I love. There was a tweet that was just like. I like how we invented the phone, used it for a while, and then when text came back, it's like, you know what? Let's go back back to the written word.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, my God.

[Damian Hauser]

Little hashes and dots. Can't wait for us to go back to Morse code. I don't know. Yeah, go for it. No, you got more.

[Courtney Miller]

I just gotta say. I. I don't. I've never felt. Maybe I felt it for a little bit in the beginning of. Of, like. Be, like, growing up. Of, like, being anxious of talking to strangers on the phone. But I love it. I actually love, like, the opportunity to talk to people who are either. It's like the nurse at a front desk and stuff. When I was a senior in high school, I had, like, an extra period. I would sit in the office and answer phones. I think that was my first experience. And then when I worked at the pharmacy, it was my job to call every single patient and let them know their prescription was ready. Sometimes I was just leaving messages. I just found it as, like, great practice. Every. Every conversation with somebody you don't Know, in. In a way is just practice for the next one. They are people, granted, so be nice to them. But the fact that you may never meet this person or talk to them ever again, really rest on that. Because, like, I. When I have these phone conversations, or I'm, like, about to talk to someone who probably gets hundreds of calls a day, probably deals with not the nicest people, I have an opportunity. I need some information. But I can also be nice to this person and, like, make their day a little bit better by just being a nice customer on the phone. And, like, and then it's just a good experience of just talking to a stranger. You need information. It's their job to give it to you. Like, I think. I think. I don't know. It's just something to think about to change your mindset on it.

[Damian Hauser]

I used to work customer support for a larger streaming service. It was really tough. I was very anxious the whole time, but I was good at it. I was good with, you know, chatting with people and fixing their problems. And I think looking at it now, what may be applicable to what you need to do is have a goal in mind, whether it's something as simple as, I need a doctor's appointment, and take away the societal pressure of, like, you don't need. I mean, obviously, be very nice to the person if you can, but you don't need them to walk away from the conversation being like, that conversation changed my life. They're doing their job. So you can literally be like, hi, my name is da da da. I need an appointment. These are days available. I choose this day. Thank you. Goodbye. Like, that's it. And then you can build from there. But, you know, and the same with customer support. Like, my goal is always to get something fixed, but that in that. Because I used to wear customer support, my goal as a customer now is to make sure that this is the nicest call they've had today. That's the goal. They're like, hi, I'm Amanda. Can I help you? I'm just like, amanda, thank you so much. I hope you're having a good day. Amanda, here's my problem. And, you know, say their name back to them. Like, make it personal. Make it human.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, it really is almost just, like, practice for talking to people you don't know, because it's just like, phone calls with people who. That's Their job is to just talk to you on the phone. And you can just.

[Shane Topp]

It's also important to remember how insane most of the people they probably talk to every Day.

[Damian Hauser]

Oh yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Like the amount of stuff they deal with, dude, that you're, you're, they're not gonna remember you at the end of the day. Like they're just not because they're, they have a thousand phone calls a day. They're just not. No one is gonna have a phone call with you and then get off and be like, yeah, well everybody listen this, that I just talked to you. But also, you know, I don't know where this dislike of phone calls coming from. If you just generally dislike them or if there's anxiety. Once again, just do it. Like you gotta apply to a job. You just gotta do it. You just call em and like they're not gonna like make fun of you. It's not gonna be some big deal. You know, if it doesn't work out, it doesn't work out. You just do it. You just literally have to do it. I actually, I was talking to my therapist about my fear of emails which is very similar. I get so afraid if my emails pile up. I get afraid to look at it. I literally avoid my inbox. Cause I'm just so afraid there's some big, big thing I missed.

[Damian Hauser]

That's what I do with mail.

[Shane Topp]

And I'm just like, I'm like, ah. I do the same with mail. Like I'm just always assuming the worst. I do the same with pH. I do it. I'm afraid of this insane worst thing. And every time I do it, it's just not bad.

[Damian Hauser]

It's that it's often worse than.

[Shane Topp]

It's just an exchange of information. And you know, if the worst happens, you just do it. It's not gonna be some crazy nightmare fueled thing. It's gonna be just, oh, you have to put down some information or get some information or have a phone call or whatever.

[Damian Hauser]

I do wanna hop on what you said about how they probably deal with way worse people. As someone who used to wear customer support we do call is like 6 degrees off of normal. You're still doing way better than most people. Yeah, it's. There's so much weirdness or, or difficulty or in general like this isn't even like a bad one that this was this person's fault. It was just like one call I had was. And I could do a whole podcast about customer support days but one call I had is this person who is just like, hi, I'm paralyzed from the neck down. I just had surgery and maybe like a stroke or something. So they're like, I'm having to use speech software and Also look at these things in order to, like, type in a password. And I can't get into my account. Can you get me into my account? And I was like, for sure. Let's. Let's do this.

[Shane Topp]

And it took.

[Damian Hauser]

It took like a literal hour. And I'm supposed to take like. I was supposed to take like 14 calls an hour. I was on this one for like an hour. And that's obviously not his fault. And I was happy to work with him and, you know, get. Get that taken care of. But my point is that was a very challenging process. You are going to be doing okay. Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

But. Yeah, at the same time, just like that. It's just like that guy knew. He's just like, well, I gotta do this.

[Damian Hauser]

Yep.

[Shane Topp]

And he did it.

[Damian Hauser]

Yep.

[Shane Topp]

And he, like, he got through it and he did it.

[Courtney Miller]

And picturing also like, what's the worst case scenario of what that phone call's gonna be if it is? If. What are like, what are you anxious about? I mean, the other day I was trying to find a doctor to just get an appointment. Cause I've been dealing with some shit. I call and I was like, hey, I was wondering if I can get an appointment with this doctor. I'm dealing with this thing. And she's. And the lady was like, this doctor looks a tumor. I was like, oh. Like, I was looking for somebody about my upset stomach. She was like, this person looks at tumors. They're an optomet or like, something tologist. Why are you calling here? And I was like, oh, I didn't know. I saw that he worked in an internal medicine, so I didn't know if maybe that applied. She's like, no, that's not it at all. I was like, okay, okay, bye. She's like, goodbye. Like, that. Like, that sucked. But I think that's about as worse as it can get.

[Shane Topp]

But I think that's. She's not mad, probably. It's just that, like Damian said, they've gotten to the point where they just deliver the information. They're just going, no, they don't do that.

[Damian Hauser]

And maybe they're weird, too. Like, sometimes I am.

[Courtney Miller]

I was a weirdo, angry lady. It was.

[Damian Hauser]

But I have. I believe that, though, too. I've. I've met a lot of people like that. I. I have a doctor that I love, but sometimes when I call to make an appointment, I'm like, hi, I would like to make an appointment for doctor Last name. And they're like, is that doctor first name, last name? And I'm like, yes. There's no other doctor with that last name in the practice. So, like, they always clarify. I'm like, that's weird. That's super flipping weird.

[Shane Topp]

They're all the time, you don't know. They're like, what if, what if suddenly the. Another one shows up? What do we do then?

[Damian Hauser]

You never. They're everywhere. No, I look, I look in the building. I've looked before at the like, directory. I'm like, are they on like the fifth floor? Is there another? There's never been another. So it's just like they're weird. That's a really weird thing that you just did there. Yeah, ma'am.

[Shane Topp]

So the, those mundane little things like phone calls and everything are. Honestly, they're always just annoying and tough. You just gotta do it, dude. Applying for jobs is.

[Courtney Miller]

The more you do it, the easier it'll be. And I will say, like, I think with, with calling for jobs and stuff, I don't know where this person's from, but like growing up, applying for jobs, I learned that when you put in an application, if you call in a couple days later or a day or two later, it makes a huge difference. Some, some companies look for that. They look for that initiative that you want this job. So calling in, just being like, hi, my name is this. I submitted an application a couple days ago and I just wanted to see if you guys were still interested in getting together for an inter. Like something like that, or go in goes a long way.

[Damian Hauser]

Or do it in person, even if you feel like you're better in person. Like, last retail job I had, I went in person to apply and I was like, hey, is the manager here? I'd love to like meet them. I'm going to submit an application. I just wanted to say hi and introduce myself. And the assistant manager was like, no, she's not going to be here for a while. But do you have 15 minutes? Come on back. I see something in you. Like, he was a very eccentric man. But I got hired. It was great.

[Courtney Miller]

That's so funny.

[Shane Topp]

On the, on the tip of just job applications, I obviously, I've applied for countless jobs. Being an actor, just auditioning and auditioning sucks because you're being judged on absolutely everything.

[Courtney Miller]

It's face to face.

[Shane Topp]

And Also, I was 14. Like, you're a 14 year old who's nervous about their acne and everything. And then you're going in knowing that this room of adults is judging you for it, like literally and may even point it out. But I had an acting coach say probably the best advice. And. And because someone was doing a scene and they were kind of like clearly nervous and just like not getting the scene done right. And he's just like, you're focusing so hard on avoiding it going wrong. You're trying to avoid failure more than you're focused on doing what you want and getting what you want. Focus on what you want. Like you know what address. What could go wrong? Be like, oh, that could go wrong. I'm going to focus on what I want. I'm gonna. That's my number one thing. I want this job. I want this job. Why do I want this job? For all these reasons. That's what I'm gonna focus. That's all I'm gonna think about. Or it's what I'm gonna. That's consciously. I'm gonna make the effort to only think about it definitely drives me more. I'm not gonna think about what can go wrong. I'm not gonna make that my primary focus. Cause then your brain kind of does gravitate towards what you're thinking about. Focus on. Think about what you want, please.

[Damian Hauser]

You should credit Oprah when you quote her. That's the secret right there.

[Courtney Miller]

That's a secret right there.

[Damian Hauser]

That's the secret right there. That's the secret right there.

[Shane Topp]

We're just slowly becoming Banjo Kazooie characters. This next question comes from Obama at Obama Dokai. How do you get everything done your supposed work wise and still do other things like self care and making time to hang out with friends without it negatively affecting the quality of your work life balance. Like I want what I put out to the best if possible can be but I also need to human. Okay, so how. Yes. Work life balance. How do you have time to do work? Also have time for self care and hanging out with friends, having a good time while that not affecting your work. That's a good question. Especially because it feels like life only gets busier and busier and busier.

[Damian Hauser]

Yeah. I'll let you know when I figure it out.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Damian Hauser]

Damn.

[Shane Topp]

You know what frustrates me? I thought I think about this a lot is I'm just like man. Humanity has invented so many devices that with the purpose of making life easier and it only seems to make our lives busier.

[Damian Hauser]

Well it just means you can get more done using it. It's not like you have suddenly more time in the day. It's just you're more efficient with your. We don't have to go out and gather mushrooms to take care of food for the village like, we, you know.

[Shane Topp]

It'S the ultimate human error, I think, is that it's like, oh, we invented computers now. Life should be easier for all of us. Like, no, now we can all do more work. Like, that's. That's how we go.

[Damian Hauser]

It's efficiency. That's all it is.

[Courtney Miller]

Now, if you're in the shower when you get an email and you don't respond right away, dude, for real.

[Shane Topp]

The uplifted communication has only made it that. It's like, oh, you're driving well, you need to still be answering emails and checking texts because you could be missing something huge. It's like, I remember when I was 12, I sound like an old person, but I'm like, when I was 12, I didn't have a cell phone. I would go out and it's just like, well, I don't know if my parents need me, but I'm out and I'm not going to be home until tonight.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Shane Topp]

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[Damian Hauser]

I'd love to tackle this topic a little bit because I am dealing with this myself right now. I'm having a hard time dealing with it too. So I'm learning this as I go. So point being, there's never. You're never like, done. Like you said, I learned it. But, you know, I've got smosh, which is a regular sort of like nine to five kind of situation. Whether we're at home writing or we're out filming. I do my Twitch streams three days a week. I do do voiceover, which is sometimes like three or four auditions per night. And then I like wake up early to edit it, to submit it by 9 in the morning. I have a very hard time learning how to relax anymore. Like yesterday I wasn't in the stream because I was like, hey, I've been a little busy lately. I would just love a break. But during the two to three hours that you guys streamed, I just sat there being anxious the whole time. I was like, I don't know how to relax. So the Thing that has been helping me is, and I know this sounds like it takes a little bit of the fun out of it, you got to schedule everything, you got to write it down, down. You gotta literally write down. Even if it seems obvious and mundane. I've got work from these hours after work, I've got to get this thing done. I'm gonna give myself one hour to do it. After that, no matter what, uninterrupted, I want 90 minutes of me time. That's enough time to watch my show, do a little exercise, play a video game, like whatever you want to do. Because we are taught that work is the most important thing. And I don't think I will ever break that mindset for myself unfortunately. But you have to acknowledge that self care and giving yourself time and to social or just even do nothing and relax. That is equally if not more important to you as a human being. You need to. In the same way that you'd be like, I have to eat today. You have to have some time to decompress. So to not let it affect the quality of your work, just do the most like bullish, gung ho, best job you can during the time that you've allotted. And if you can't get the thing done in the time that you've allotted, well then maybe you've bitten off a little bit more than you can chew.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I will say like I, I do have a planner that I'll use sometime like the night before I will just for myself because I feel like I have a hard time focusing and remembering that I do have stuff to do. So the night before I'll write down like my Google calendar has the meetings we have to do that day. And then I'll also write down the chores that need to be done. And then if I have a workout that I wanna do, here's what I should do. And then also at the top we'll just be like, hey, have like a fucking good day. One thing I realized was like very in season one of quarantine, we had kind of a chance to get away from this job in a way. Like we weren't in the every single day anymore. Filming was very different. So I had a chance to like appreciate my outside of work life. Like my me time and my self care. I had a chance to like. Or that kind of was more important in a way because I was around and by myself more. So I had a chance to understand like. Cause before that and like even as we've gotten back into working, I've already been Overextending myself, work wise. But in that time, I realized, like, okay, I was putting a lot. I was giving. I was giving an unfair amount of my life to work. Because where we're from, like, working, they want everyone to just work. Like, Damien, you have three jobs. That is crazy. That is absolutely crazy. I. And it's. I. Kudos, like mad kudos because I. I literally get invited to be a guest on people's podcasts and I'm like, I can't. That's like, I don't have the, the. The capacity to do that right now. But like, I think once I got that, appreciate the outside of work stuff, like, because, like, you do want to do your best job at work, but sometimes we really do push ourselves too hard. So understanding that can really help you.

[Damian Hauser]

I think, going off of that, though, I think the reason I'm like this, if I can just get personal for a second is like, I had a. After so random, you know, that money runs out quickly in la. And so I worked all kinds of jobs and I would still audition and I wouldn't book anything and. And you know, you'd put in so much work and so much work and so much work, and you wouldn't really get anything for it necessarily. It'd just be like, all right, well, onto the next one. Next step, I'll try another audition. Same was for voiceover. You know, I'd have bookings here and there, but it, you know, wouldn't fully pay the bills or anything like that. And so for so long, I worked so hard and didn't get anything for it that now that I'm in a position where, you know, the harder I work, the longer I work, I get stuff out of it. It's hard not to take advantage of that. Even now I acknowledge, like, I need to take a break sometimes. It's just hard to do, you know.

[Shane Topp]

I think, I think it is part of a big thing. And obviously it comes down to personal levels too. I mean, I'm. I'm a workaholic, but I think more so I just have work anxiety. I have this. Even if I'm not working all day, I have this idea that I need to be working. It's literally probably the main thing I talk about with my therapist is just that I always have this thing in the back of my head of being like, how am I being productive right now? And it's just so destructive. It's so destructive. And it actually has prevented me from getting a lot of things done. I've like, throughout all of quarantine. I've. I've just wanted. All I've really wanted is to write something. Like I wanted to write some sort of project just. And really just for me, like not even. I don't have this big goal of like selling a TV show or whatever. I'm like, I would just love to write a story. It'd be fun because I have this ever present thing in the back of my head being like, you need to do that, you haven't done that, you need to do that. It makes it this awful thing that I then avoid. The things that are self care, the entertainment, whatever, it all doesn't become entertainment. It becomes distraction from those thoughts. And then you're never relaxing because you're just distracting yourself. I think a lot of us get self care. This is my opinion. I think a lot of us get self care. Wrong. And I'm. At least I do is that I have to recognize when my me time or whatever is me just distracting myself and then it doesn't do anything. Then I go, then I. Then it's three hours and I just come back to where I was. As opposed to sometimes self. Self care is work. It is, it is. You know, a self care thing I've been trying to do this year that I've been not great at is I'm just like, I'm just gonna stretch every day. But it is work because you've got to kind of like focus for 20 minutes and stretch. But that is self care. You're doing something good for yourself. And a lot of times it is those grounding things.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. Being present.

[Shane Topp]

But I think part of the bigger issue is I do think in the world, but especially in America, we really have this grind culture. And honestly I look back on when I was a kid, I remember posters everywhere and I'm sure they're still out there. It's just like shoot for the moon. You can be whatever you want. Like be the best that I can.

[Damian Hauser]

I guarantee you everyone in this classroom will be president.

[Shane Topp]

Literally. Like you would hear that stuff is like, you can be president if you want to. And then you get older and you start to see people getting really sick. And especially on social media, especially Instagram, I think where people really pump out, like I'm in Spain now. Everyone needs to travel. Oh, I just, I just got promoted and oh man. Just I bought my first house and it's just like there's this idea that you need to be achieving more and it's always gonna be that. And once you achieve more the idea persists. You need to be achieving more. And it's this idea that happiness is in that next thing. And that's always the case. You never can be content. America and I think the world has this war on the idea of contentment. We hate that idea of being content, of being happy with very little or being happy with less and just being like, oh, you know, what's your dream in life? Oh, I would just like to a small house and just like that and be like, really? That's it. Like you're just gonna settle? The idea of settling is so bad, but it's like, no, that's okay. You, you know, I, I think a lot of us feel very uncontent with life because we're like, I don't know what I want. Because we've set our goals beyond what we want and now we're.

[Damian Hauser]

It's not even a tangible thing to point to and be like, I want that amazing thing. It's like I want something past that and then past that. Like you said, it's. You can't.

[Courtney Miller]

It's also being, feeling conflicted with like what, what society around you has said, what you should look toward and want. On the self care tip, it's like, it is like taking care of. It's like self care is a lot like car care. You aren't just gonna be nice to your car and just be with it. Like you need to put the work in, change the oil, do the things. So like self care is like you need to maybe if you wanna practice self care is giving yourself better sleep. Go to bed early and wake up.

[Damian Hauser]

I've been trying. I've been trying. I've actively this week trying really hard.

[Courtney Miller]

But then in those moments where like a lot of people think is like self care days, like a face mask and like just being, dressing comfy and.

[Damian Hauser]

Stuff, like watching TV for eight hours.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, no, that's the thing too is like I think, okay, this will be my me time to do whatever I want. And then I'm like, okay, video games, drawing. I could work on that script I was doing. Or I can play Sims. I never use that computer. And then I get overwhelmed. And then I'm on TikTok for three hours. Cause I can't do anything.

[Shane Topp]

Distract yourself. Cause it's too much.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. Cause and that's, that's a very normal thing for people with anxiety to do is like they get overwhelmed and they just want to withdraw and be numb for a while. I think when it comes to self care, even in your normal schedule. It's just being more present in those moments. Like when you're in the shower, don't always just be like, okay, I got to do this fucking thing. Like, be in there for a moment, appreciate the warmth of the water, think about your day or about the people in your life that you haven't talked about in a while.

[Damian Hauser]

I learned that from Jonathan Van Ness.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. But yeah, it's just being more present in those moments where you are just doing things for yourself, like, and making those chores and things more enjoyable by doing other. Like we were talking about earlier, like listening to a podcast that you like while doing dishes. But yeah, it is, it is, it's. It's self work.

[Shane Topp]

We've been made to feel guilty for, for slowing down. I think that's a big thing is, is we feel uncomfortable slowing down. But it's so important to slow down. Slow down anytime that you're feeling overwhelmed. Just be like, I'm allowed to slow down. Yeah, I'm allowed to stop.

[Courtney Miller]

Right now we are on five times speed from what people were doing decades ago.

[Damian Hauser]

Yeah, that is the thing though too. Like when you look at parents or older generations on how they work their asses off to get to a place that was just sort of sustainable for a lot of people. And now due to technology, due to opportunities, due to a lot of different things, you can get to that point sometimes a little bit easier. So then you don't have an example of how to relax and decompress. You don't have an ability to look around and be like, oh, I'm kind of maintaining in the same way they were already and I can do more, so I should do more.

[Shane Topp]

Like, people had no choice but to just sit around a lot back in the day. Like we have this idea and we. And it's true, there was a lot of work back then. There was non stop work and there was less things to entertain us. But also these things that entertain us are often making us feel worse because it's so much. Our brains aren't built. Our brains were not built for all this stuff because naturally there just wasn't as much stimulation throughout a day. You worked on the farm and then you came back and you like made dinner and you sat there and it was like, yep, yeah. All right.

[Courtney Miller]

The last thing I'll say is I did have a moment. I can't remember if it was just before quarantine or just around earlier this year where I was breaking down. I was losing my mind because I was very conflicted. I'd recently lost a family member. I was feeling overextended at work and I didn't know how to take care of myself while trying to figure out all these things, like I wasn't okay, basically, and I've learned this from, from you, Shane, as well, is like taking my notebook out. I'm addicted to notebooks. I have a notebook for everything. I have a work one, I have a music lyric one. Like literally you write someone's name in.

[Damian Hauser]

One and they die 60 seconds later.

[Courtney Miller]

But I had a page for work and a page for family and a page for my hobbies. And I just wrote out all the things that are important to me in my life and just prioritizing what is really important to you. Like how important is it that you are on social media for a few hours a day? There are things that you can really realistically tell yourself are more important than others. And the things that stress you out, you can write those out and just seeing them on paper can really help you kind of process what you need.

[Shane Topp]

I think all of these in many ways boil down to just really accepting yourself and being okay. You're human. You don't have to be something crazy. You don't. Like everyone in the world is trying to, or so many people are trying to be the greatest that they can be. It's like, no, you don't have to be. You don't have to be anything. You get to be whatever you want and do whatever you want. And often the problem is that it's less than what everyone's telling you and what you're trying to tell yourself. You're trying to be something more than you even want to be. And that's a nightmare because that means you're always going to be in this conflicting zone and uncomfortable with who you are and you're uncomfortable with what you want because you feel like what you want is too little and that makes you pathetic or whatever. I don't know, I mean, I'm talking to myself in a lot of ways, but I think it is the case for a lot of people and I think, you know, social media and just the chaos of the world has, has made it so. But as we're seeing, I mean, this is dark, but as we're seeing with global warming, our desire to, to keep being more and more and be as great as possible is dysfunctional. Yeah, it's dysfunctional. You feel it in your own. You have your own global warming inside your head. When you try to do too much and you over exhaust your own mental resources. And then you break down and then it's all pointless. It all ended up being for nothing. And we have it in our head. It's like, that's what we have to do. That's for the best. It's like, no, it's clearly not this metaphor.

[Damian Hauser]

What would you consider colonizing Mars? Is that when I swap to a robot.

[Courtney Miller]

But yeah, it's like, you can't put. You can't pedal to the metal with a car 24 7.

[Shane Topp]

But speaking of nature, and this is gonna make me sound weird, but a type of meditation I have.

[Damian Hauser]

I grabbed a bird out of the sky. Not even look. Is that weird.

[Shane Topp]

Go carry on. My wayward sudden. I threw him off. I don't meditate regularly. I try to get into it. Sometimes I fall out. I think it's really great. Whenever I've done it, I feel benefits. But I have had this like accidental meditation, I think, throughout my life. Whenever I. I'll be at the park or I'll just be around if I see like an animal or even a bug or something. Oftentimes animals are just chilling. They're just sitting there. If they're not eating food or doing whatever, they're often just sitting there. And I'll often just like kind of sit and just stare at them and just be like, you're just. You're just sitting here, huh? I was like, you're just doing that. And I'm so. I can't do that. Why am I so uncomfortable doing that? But that's what animals are doing so often. That's probably what we were doing for so long is like, I think they're plotting.

[Courtney Miller]

I will say pigeons. Pigeons are so busy.

[Damian Hauser]

They really are.

[Shane Topp]

They are so busy.

[Damian Hauser]

They are up to something.

[Courtney Miller]

Pigeons are busy. We should make a shirt that says pigeons are very busy.

[Damian Hauser]

Dude, I love pigeons. Have I shown you battle pigeon?

[Courtney Miller]

Yes, you have. Today though, isn't it your banner on Twitter?

[Damian Hauser]

It's. It's when I do my webcam introduction. Yes, it is my background. I have a green screen for the sole purpose of putting Battle Pigeon behind me. And I just like, what's that battle fidget?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Oh my God, it is Ryan Seacrest here. There was a recent social media trend which consisted of flying on a plane with no music, no movies, movies, no entertainment. But a better trend would be going to chumbacasino.com. it's like having a mini social casino in your pocket. Chumba Casino has over a hundred online casino style games, all absolutely free. It's the most Fun you can have online and on a plane. So grab your free welcome bonus [e-mail] sponsored by Chumba Casino.

[Shane Topp]

No purchase necessary vgw group void where prohibited by law 21 + terms and conditions apply.

[Damian Hauser]

I kind of want to hear your.

[Shane Topp]

Mishaps when you guys learned about even.

[Damian Hauser]

Just basic adulting things.

[Shane Topp]

Doing the dishes, making your bed, cleaning, cleaning your own first apartment, having roommates.

[Damian Hauser]

And like, what it meant to actually.

[Shane Topp]

Do stuff like that.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, dude.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. You're gonna inevitably mess up. I think that's important. I think that's where you learn the most.

[Damian Hauser]

I mean, it was interesting to see what my priorities would be when I like, first, before I even was roommates with Shane, I just had like a one bedroom apartment. And for whatever reason, it was really cheap. Someone may have died there, I don't know, but it was really cheap. It had a washer dryer in it and it was awesome. It was everything I needed. But I learned that my priorities were very low. Like, I had an air mattress for a long time. Time. And then you were like the meme. I was like the meme. And yeah, literally like that. But I had a TV and a place to put it. But instead, you know, after I got the air mattress or after I switched to like a proper mattress with a box spring that was also just straight up on the ground for a while.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh my God.

[Damian Hauser]

I just didn't care. I just, I was like, this doesn't matter that much to me. It was, to be completely frank with you, it was only when it was like, oh, a girl might come over to your apartment next week that I was like, I should buy a bed frame and yada, yada, yada. Like, it was, it was like, but just, you know, boiling it down. It's like company of any kind. Like when someone else might see the state you're living in, that's when I would actually start to self care and be like, yeah, I could hang up a mirror. Yeah, I could like put up some art there and maybe buy a plate or two, you know, I think, yeah.

[Shane Topp]

A lot of it is just, just for me, it's a lot of those slow things that you kind of like push off. I've gotten much better about cleaning. I was not great when I first became an adult. I would just hold it off and then it would just get bad. And then you just start to realize, like, oh, if I just start doing these little things every day, it's gonna be fine. Same with car maintenance and stuff like that.

[Courtney Miller]

You Want to hear what? My first night living outside my parents house was like, so I obviously moved in with a coworker. They weren't home. When I had moved in. I was by myself. My room didn't have lights in the ceiling. I just had lamps. That one of them was very flickery and they're just. It was very dark. I remember I walked to the nearby grocery store cause I had no food and I didn't want to touch my roommates cause it was their food. Got like a salad box. I was also trying to be vegan at this point. So I like was struggling with that. Got got back to the place. I didn't have my own dishes, so I was like scared to use and scared to use Zoomies. I didn't buy them. And I remember I was gonna maybe just eat it out of the salad, but there was holes in it. I was like, I don't know. And I remember I tried popping the salad box open and all the leaves went everywhere, all over the ground. And I was like, fuck, this is my food. Gathered up this kitchen floor salad. It was dirty. I rinsed it kind of and I still fucking ate. Kitchen floor hairy. As I was gonna say, that was probably not.

[Shane Topp]

Probably not vegan. Vegan.

[Courtney Miller]

There's more skin cells and hair in that salad than croutons.

[Damian Hauser]

Burger King food.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, that was rough times where you're just scrambling. I felt like like a rat in an alley.

[Shane Topp]

Just like, I gotta figure it out.

[Courtney Miller]

First time doing community laundry, like the complex laundry. There's like an. There's etiquette to that as well. Like you do not want to leave your laundry in too long after it's done. Because I had a man handle my laundry and touch my underwear and just take it out and so he could get in. And I was pissed. I've never done that to somebody else.

[Damian Hauser]

How long, Just out of curiosity, how long was your stuff in there?

[Courtney Miller]

Like ten minutes.

[Damian Hauser]

Okay, that's. That's fair. Like don't.

[Courtney Miller]

Don't. Laundry after like give a. Give a grace.

[Shane Topp]

It's got to be. It's got to be like an hour.

[Damian Hauser]

There was.

[Shane Topp]

It's got to be like. I'm like, this is not coming out.

[Damian Hauser]

The place I lived two times ago we had commute. Excuse me. Laundry. There was one lady down the hall that would like, she left her stuff in there for like literal hours. And when my roommate finally like moved it, she in like in retaliation, like threw his stuff out of the washer and like left a note and was like, don't you do that. And it was like, well, you live in a society like, you can't do this stuff.

[Courtney Miller]

It's tough. It's tough. Like, I. I definitely think you should give a grace, but I do. There is a level of discomfort.

[Damian Hauser]

10 minutes is fine. 30 minutes is fine.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, yeah.

[Damian Hauser]

Laundry.

[Shane Topp]

Laundry is a tough. Laundry is surprisingly easy. But man, it feels like this big mountain you got to climb when you become an adult.

[Courtney Miller]

It's.

[Damian Hauser]

It's very much. It's capitalism personified, where it's like only two people get the thing and everybody else has to wait.

[Shane Topp]

I'm telling you, if you're a teenager listening to this, just, just learn how to do the laundry before you move out. You're going to have to learn it. Just, just do it. Because you're going to realize it's not that hard. And then you go, okay.

[Courtney Miller]

And when in doubt, wash everything on cold if you're ever worried about colors and things like that. Usually I make separate loads of all my dark clothing, all my pink light.

[Shane Topp]

I hang dry.

[Courtney Miller]

Most things I can't hang dry, I like. Especially when it's clothes that I want to be form fitting. I pretty much dry every form.

[Damian Hauser]

How do you not get the little doodle doots on the shoulders for the hanger?

[Shane Topp]

Oh, I don't know.

[Damian Hauser]

Good tip.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, I don't know. Yeah, I feel like becoming an adult, living on your own when you're just in charge of yourself, you're just gonna build up reflexes and just muscle memories off of mistakes. Like I remember, man, I was like, I was like 19 and I was on my computer. I had one of those white MacBook MacBooks back in the day.

[Courtney Miller]

They look like toys.

[Shane Topp]

And I had it on my coffee table. I had some root beer right next to it. And I totally.

[Damian Hauser]

I don't know where this is going.

[Shane Topp]

And I totally just spilled root beer all over the keyboard and it was broken. What did you think was gonna happen?

[Damian Hauser]

I thought it was gonna come to life and say mean words at you.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

And you know what? Since then, I'm just very. I don't keep drinks that close to my laptop. Like, it's just. You're just gonna build up things like that.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

And that's just what it is.

[Courtney Miller]

That's a lot of those things that your parents scolded you for preemptively and you never really understood why. It's those reasons.

[Shane Topp]

You're just gonna have to. It's just gonna have to happen.

[Damian Hauser]

I had that happen to me like a month ago. Where, you know, my mom was always like, cut things down on a cutting board and never lift it up. I'm like, mom is fat. I don't know what to do. And like, now, here, a long time later, I, like, sliced my thumb clean open. I was like, oh, this is what she meant with the. I need to go.

[Shane Topp]

It always, you know, it's always how it goes.

[Courtney Miller]

I will say, like, big picture wise, a lot of things, like, adult things, like, when it comes to going grocery shopping or going to the post office to get stamps, or like, those phone calls and things like that. A lot of them cooking, like, adult tasks, like certain types of cleaning the shower, bathtub, like, or the toilet or whatever, like, they seem scarier and, like, these big tasks that you're afraid to tackle and, like, but once you do them, you really realize they're not all that bad. Like, my first time going to a post office and needing to send a package, I literally felt like a robot. I was, like, in line, like, getting a vibe of the room and what other people are doing and, like, how everyone's acting. Getting a vibe of the people at the register. Like, oh, is this going to be DMV style or, like, a frickin. Like, Hollister? We don't know. I go to the counter, I'm like, hello, I would like to send this package to Utah, please. She's like, yeah, like, whatever. And then once you get in, you're like, oh, this is, like, not that bad. This isn't weird. Yeah, like, it's fine.

[Shane Topp]

You have pages.

[Damian Hauser]

They're just like, what? And you're like, I want to send.

[Shane Topp]

You want to do what? What?

[Courtney Miller]

I want to send this pack. Why?

[Shane Topp]

You can. But first, you must defeat the Minotaur.

[Damian Hauser]

Ma'am. How loud is the package? How what? How loud is the package?

[Courtney Miller]

Mail.

[Damian Hauser]

I don't know what that means.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah, I think that's true. I think a lot of things are easier when it comes to those mundane tasks. A lot of them are easier than you think. Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, ordering postmates seems so weird to me at first, but once you get into it, you're like, oh, this is easy. I'm gonna do this.

[Shane Topp]

And learning how to cook easier than it seems. I swear to God. Learning how to cook. You will make mistakes.

[Courtney Miller]

Mistakes.

[Shane Topp]

But I'm telling you, man, yes, you will make mistakes, but you follow recipes. There's so much. That's where you take advantage of technology.

[Courtney Miller]

It's not as hard as it does.

[Shane Topp]

It's not, man. Especially, like, I love that one TikTok where it's that guy talking about. He's like. He's like, here's the authentic way to make rice. And you just make. He just has a rice cooker.

[Damian Hauser]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

It's like, dude, it's so simple.

[Damian Hauser]

Or literally, buy a crock pot. If you don't know how to cook, buy a crock pot. You can just throw anything you want in there. It doesn't even have to be food. It'll come out food.

[Shane Topp]

I think that's. And we had an extra question down here that we didn't get to. It was just talking about how to eat healthy without crock pot. And like, there are a lot of ways that you just can make things conveniently, but learning how to cook for yourself is just a quintessential skill.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, definitely.

[Shane Topp]

And you will save money. You will save money. You will save money. There's cheap ways to make a lot of stuff and make it good, especially at Trader Joe's, takes time. It just takes learning recipes and just doing it. But keep it simple.

[Courtney Miller]

I just took a crack at making fried rice the other night and it was fucking bomb.

[Shane Topp]

I keep things simple. I just. I saute chicken breasts, I make some vegetables, and I have some quinoa, and I make that like 80% of the time.

[Damian Hauser]

Nice. It's always good.

[Courtney Miller]

Is that rice cooker for the keto? I do.

[Shane Topp]

I do use the rice. I use the rice cooker almost every night.

[Damian Hauser]

The nature's candy for eating healthy and also feeling savory. Sweet potato. You stab it a few times with a fork, wrap it in, like, a slightly damp paper towel, toss it in the microwave for like 7 minutes, pop it out. Don't coat it in sugar. Coat it in things that are, like, spice based, like maybe a little bit of a hatch green chili or something like chipotle pepper. Mix it all up in its own skin. It's delicious. It's smoky, it's almost meaty.

[Shane Topp]

Spices are your friend, man. You can make everything delicious. I think it's. Overall, I think it's good news. I think. I do think society puts pressure on you that this is this idea that you need to be so much, Be achieving so much more at a younger age and everything. And it's okay. It's okay to slow down, be patient, know you're going to make mistakes and know that's okay, and just do things. If something's going to take less than five minutes, just do it now. Yeah, like, stuff like that. It's so small. It's those small things and you just do it.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

And trust yourself. Know that you're gonna do it. And maybe you're not the person who's capable of doing a lot of things, but you're gonna become that person by doing, like, just learning a lot of.

[Courtney Miller]

Those tasks aren't as big a deal. Calling to schedule an appointment, doing the laundry, registering to vote by mail or in person. Either way, these things take a few minutes out of your day, and we dread them for hours. Sometimes when it's over in just a.

[Shane Topp]

Few moments, the thoughts are always worse than the. Than the thing.

[Damian Hauser]

Don't beat yourself up for not knowing something yet. You have to learn it somehow. And sometimes it's okay if you stumble in the process. That is all right. If you don't know how to do something. And I know this sounds obvious. Google it. Google everything. I can't tell you how many times, like, in my very early 20s, I would just google something and then know it forever. Then a friend would be like, oh, I've got red wine and this kind of shoe. And I'd be like, oh, you pour this on. And they'd be like, how'd you know? And I'm like, I ran into that problem and I googled it.

[Shane Topp]

It just research stuff.

[Damian Hauser]

Do it.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. Research things. And know that everybody else is in the same boat as you.

[Damian Hauser]

Yeah.

[Shane Topp]

Know that everyone's gonna make it seem like they've got things figured out.

[Courtney Miller]

Everyone is faking it till they make it.

[Shane Topp]

Yeah. And maybe. Maybe someone has something figured out, but you have something figured out that they don't.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, it's.

[Shane Topp]

It's a. Trust me, you're not alone. People are gonna make it seem like that's not the case. But you're not alone. Everyone's learning forever. Anyways, so that. That concludes that. But let's. Oh, let's get on to. We've got a shoot dude here. We've got someone who. Who's already. They probably learned a lesson from this, I'm guessing. I have not read this, so it's a surprise for me. But let's get into this.

[Courtney Miller]

Shoot, dude, Shoot, dude. Shoot, dude.

[Shane Topp]

Shoot, dude. Shoot, dude. Shoot, dude, Shoot, shoot, shoot. I don't know who this comes from. It doesn't say. There was no name on it. So this is an anonymous. I was visiting family in LA before the world shut down around February. And I was near Santa Monica, walking around, waiting for a friend to pick me up. After strolling around, she got stuck in traffic. Classic. And I decided to go buy something to drink and Wait at a coffee shop. In the meanwhile, here I am walking down the street, looking like a flaming dumpster truck from hell. And on the opposite sidewalk, I see either Shane or his literal doppelganger. I was staring very hard, trying to distinguish whether it was just another white dude or him. And he obviously noticed and actually smiled at me politely, which made me incredibly nervous and caused disaster to strike. I wasn't looking at where I was going, and let's say, theoretically, that I may or may not have tripped and eaten absolute shit against the asphalt. Thankfully, my hands got to the floor before my face did, but I destroyed my knees and my palms completely. Regardless of whether or not it was Shane, I still embarrassed myself entirely in front of a handsome stranger. And I'm still not sure if he saw me wipe out, because as soon as I got up, I just sprinted my ass away. A part of me hopes he at least got a laugh out of my shame if he saw.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, my God.

[Shane Topp]

Well, this is. I do not recall. I've recalled watching people eat shit.

[Damian Hauser]

You've never been to Santa Monica?

[Courtney Miller]

I was going to say in February. February?

[Damian Hauser]

Yeah. We're walking in Santa Monica.

[Shane Topp]

It's possible. I don't know. It's February.

[Damian Hauser]

We were on tour and then in Australia, like it was. That was all happening at that same time.

[Shane Topp]

Australia was March.

[Damian Hauser]

Yeah, but we were on tour.

[Courtney Miller]

Right, For.

[Ryan Seacrest]

For a week.

[Damian Hauser]

You would use your little bit of time in LA to go to Santa Monica.

[Courtney Miller]

No, that was the thing, because we. We did tour and then we went right into the hell sometime in.

[Shane Topp]

I mean, look, it probably wasn't me because I don't recall this. I also. Typically, I don't make much eye contact with strangers. I'm very, like, shy and whatever.

[Damian Hauser]

But you don't even make eye contact in the office. If an intern makes eye contact with you, they get fired.

[Shane Topp]

Yes. You're not allowed to look at me. I'm very sorry. That sounds rough.

[Courtney Miller]

That sounds like that one story where you and Keith watched that girl fall.

[Shane Topp]

As she ran around. Yeah. Me, Noah and Keith were at a restaurant in Beverly Hills, and a lady. Oh, man, she's.

[Courtney Miller]

You've told this story on here. So they do have. Have it.

[Shane Topp]

I know, but I. I can say it again. She ate.

[Damian Hauser]

She ran away right afterwards.

[Shane Topp]

She ate incredible shit. And she got up and she kind of. She kind of hustled away and. And Keith immediately was laughing.

[Damian Hauser]

I don't know if I believe. I believe you. I don't know if I believe the. Shoot, dude, this time you don't believe it.

[Shane Topp]

You think it's us?

[Damian Hauser]

I don't think it's. It's. It's not that crazy. And that's why I think it is, like. I don't know, it almost reads a little bit like WordPress, like the time I met Shane. And if you just sort of change it to maybe it was him. I don't know. I feel like I'm always such a pessimist on these. No, maybe I don't need to say.

[Courtney Miller]

That I was falling in front of your faves is embarrassing. I would say that's a shoot, dude. If I had eaten shit that day that I. When I. Back when I was, like, super obsessed with Chris Pratt, if I'd eaten shit on that stage, that would have fucking sucked.

[Shane Topp]

I believe it. And I believe it all happened probably a lot faster than this makes it seem. You know, she's making it seem like, oh, we made eye contact. We had a moment, and then she tripped and fell. I think it was probably just like. Wait, is that. Oh. And then, like, fell. Like. I think it all probably happened within two seconds.

[Courtney Miller]

Sometimes those moments happen in slow motion.

[Damian Hauser]

Yeah, but enough time to register across the street, and they smiled across the street, and then they fell, and then you didn't notice. I don't know.

[Shane Topp]

Oh, wow. Damien thinks it's us.

[Damian Hauser]

I'm just saying, I'm. I always think it's a little.

[Shane Topp]

Susan, I don't know if there's enough information here for me to. It doesn't. There's not enough information. It's not like the one where the guy was going through his friend's mom's underwear drawer.

[Damian Hauser]

Yeah, that one was definitely. I was like.

[Shane Topp]

I'm like, this is weird. This is too, like. This is a very believable situation. I think making eye contact with someone and then falling.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, very believable. I. I think if I was out trying to have a nice day by myself and I ate in front of a bunch of people I didn't know, I'd probably be traumatized and never want to go out by myself ever again.

[Shane Topp]

So whoever you are, anonymous person you made eye contact with, what it sounds like to be an average white dude.

[Damian Hauser]

Dude, that was Tom Cruise.

[Shane Topp]

I could probably be any white guy. Like, let's be honest. Especially from across the street, any white dude could be me. I have the ability to become any white guy. That's my.

[Damian Hauser]

You're the worst X Men.

[Shane Topp]

That's my X Men abilities.

[Courtney Miller]

I get tweeted like, oh, this person looks. Courtney looks Just like, this one actress. And it, like, it'll be a picture of some commercial actress. And I'm like, this person looks nothing like me.

[Damian Hauser]

I don't think.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay.

[Damian Hauser]

I don't think I've ever gotten a tweet where it's like, did you know you look like this person? And had it not be, like, a little offensive. Like, it's always, like. It's always like, some, like, kind of like, doughy, dumpy dude in the background of a shot like, that's not even making. And I'm like, it's you. And I'm like, thanks, man. Appreciate it.

[Shane Topp]

I look like when you. When you just get the general settings for an imperial on Skyrim, just like. Yeah, it's just there. Anyways, thank you, guys. This has been a lot of fun. I hope you learned something.

[Courtney Miller]

If you have a shoot dude to submit to the Smosh cast, we have an email you can send them to. It's shoot dudeosh.com. that's s h o o T D o o [e-mail], send us your shoe, dudes. It can be anonymous or put your name there. Any silly, embarrassing story. We don't want to. We don't want to scare people with, like, if you had some. Some serious trauma.

[Shane Topp]

We don't want traumatic. We want embarrassing. We want. It needs to be. I think the perfect shoot dude. I've said this before, is you. It's a. It's a perfect Seinfeld or Kirby enthusiasm type of situation where you did something and you got yourself into a bad situation, or you. You embarrassed yourself and you're going, shoot, dude. Like, I think it has to be your fault. I think it has to be your fault.

[Courtney Miller]

I don't know. I feel like just definitely embarrassing stuff. Like, I'm down to hear it all.

[Damian Hauser]

You a liar. No matter what, send it to us.

[Shane Topp]

Even if you're not sure, send it to us. You know, we might put it on. We love it anyways. And, guys, the audio version of this podcast comes out on Wednesdays. You know that because you're listening to it. But also the video comes out on Fridays on the Smoshcast YouTube channel, so check it out so you can see our faces because we do all sorts of crazy physical stuff. While you're listening to this. You were dancing while we're talking.

[Damian Hauser]

What's your face look like?

[Courtney Miller]

I'm working on the table right now.

[Shane Topp]

And make sure to rate this podcast five stars. That. That just helps. It helps us. It gives us serotonin.

[Damian Hauser]

Sarah's been looking good lately. Oh, Serotonin.

[Shane Topp]

Serotonin. Serotonin. Thank you guys and we'll talk to you later.

[Courtney Miller]

Love you.

[Damian Hauser]

I will miss you.

[Shane Topp]

By my power.

[Ryan Seacrest]

It is Ryan Seacrest here. There was a recent social media trend which consisted of flying on a plane with no music, no movies, no entertainment. But a better trend would be going to chumbacasino.com it's like having a mini social casino in your pocket. Chumba casino has over 100 online casino styles style games, all absolutely free. It's the most fun you can have online and on a plane. So grab your free welcome bonus [e-mail] sponsored by Chumba Casino.

[Shane Topp]

No purchase necessary. VGW Group void where prohibited by law. 21/ Terms and Conditions apply.