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Courtney Miller
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Shane Topped
I weirdly feel like I've gotten a lot closer with our crew realizing during quarantine, like, oh shit, I've been neglecting this.
Courtney Miller
My worst experience on that show is still the peanut butter cups filled with Cambodian fish paste.
Garrett
Yes.
Courtney Miller
And of course everyone was like, oh, you're just gonna take one, take three. And oh my God.
Garrett
I remember like one time, you know, writing about like somebody down the hall in my dorm having the most annoying laug. He read it. That was like the first time that I realized like, oh, this is.
Courtney Miller
You got cancelled.
Garrett
I got canceled in that hallway. You got cancelled.
Courtney Miller
I have one more assumption of Garrett. We know Garrett worked on Wall Street. My assumption of Garrett is that he also occupied Wall Street.
Shane Topped
Is it going. Hi, Tis. I. It's Courtney. Hi, it's Courtney. Hi, it's Courtney. It's Courtney. It's Courtney. It is me. I am Courtney. Hi, it's me.
Garrett
I don't think that's Courtney.
Courtney Miller
I don't think that's Courtney either.
Shane Topped
It's me. You guys both. You guys both look like you're from Portland. Do I?
Garrett
Yeah, actually, yeah. No, with the cardigan. The oversized cardigan is this good ASMR sweater sleeve.
Courtney Miller
This is definitely an Oregon.
Shane Topped
Didn't you buy that?
Courtney Miller
I got this at. I got. No, I got this at flea market. Melrose Flea market. Oh, this is like. It's like my favorite shirt.
Shane Topped
Doesn't it have a tag on there?
Courtney Miller
It just says made by. Made by Susan. It's not even a company. It's just handmade from the 90s.
Garrett
I want that shirt.
Courtney Miller
Yeah.
Garrett
Okay, give me.
Courtney Miller
Okay, give me that shirt.
Garrett
Give me that shirt.
Courtney Miller
Give me that.
Shane Topped
I used to be declared like, people used to call me a hipster in high school before I even consider. I couldn't consider myself because I always. I always found music that nobody listened to and like, my style wasn't hipster, but it was like kind of weird. And I had like A weird old car. So they were like, you're a hipster. And I was like, what? No, I'm not.
Courtney Miller
I think everyone's a hipster about something. Yeah, everyone has something that they love so much that they know about stuff that nobody knows about.
Shane Topped
Well, I think.
Garrett
I think being a hipster is just being passionate about something.
Shane Topped
That's the same with a nerd. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Garrett
I love hipsters who make coffee or food.
Shane Topped
Yeah, coffee nerd. Okay.
Courtney Miller
Hipster is literally a coffee music nerd. Like, that's all that is kind of.
Shane Topped
Nerd about a different type of aesthetic or different things. That's cool. I never really thought about it that way, but yeah. Oh. Anyway, I'm just gonna intro this podcast now. That was really insightful, guys.
Courtney Miller
Thank you. That was hipster cast.
Garrett
Yeah. Why Hipsters are great.
Shane Topped
Why hipsters are Great. So welcome to another episode of the Smoshcast. Tis I the host of this episode, Corny. I'm here today with Shane Topped, and none other than the mastermind behind the foods of eatery himself, Garrett. Why am I blanking on your last name?
Garrett
Garrett?
Shane Topped
Paul Garrett Milkbean Palm.
Garrett
I'm not Milk Bean. You're Milk. No, that's not a name for me.
Courtney Miller
I was not there.
Shane Topped
Just a little office inside joke for you.
Courtney Miller
Yeah. So just because you guys are as filled in on this as I am, I went on vacation. I think this was 2019. I went on vacation. I. I returned and all I heard suddenly who were talking about Milk Bean. And I was like, what? What is it? There was a. We had an entire Slack channel dedicated to it. It was referenced constantly. People were fed up by. People either hated Milk Bean or they loved Milk Bean. Yeah, I don't know what it is. I still don't know what it is.
Shane Topped
Was. It was someone. Someone hopped onto your computer, did Monica.
Garrett
Monica.
Shane Topped
And she changed your name and profile picture to Milk Bean. Right? Or something.
Garrett
Yes. Like every one of Monica and my bits. It was very divisive. People. A lot of people hated it. Some people loved it.
Shane Topped
Everyone. Then everyone. Because everyone was like, haha, wait, your name's. Who's Milk Bean? Your Milk Bean. Then everybody started changing their name to Milk Bean.
Garrett
Somebody even made a pottery Milk Bean.
Shane Topped
A milk. And then they made it like a little emote in the slack for Milk.
Garrett
We.
Courtney Miller
We don't mess around with our inside jokes at the office. I will say I feel like most inside jokes are most like pranks like that are led by Monica.
Garrett
Yeah, I agree. Because I mean, essentially it's like, what is milk bean?
Courtney Miller
It's nothing.
Garrett
It's nothing.
Courtney Miller
It is truly nothing.
Garrett
Exactly. And really all it is is just like calling somebody a nothing name and that person.
Shane Topped
We should put milk bean. We should put milk bean in the show and eat it. Or eat it.
Garrett
No.
Courtney Miller
Oh, you should make a milk bean that actually. Milk beans would be a very.
Shane Topped
That's disgusting.
Courtney Miller
You know what? You should do that.
Shane Topped
But speaking of the show, you guys, I mean, Shane kind of birthed the idea of eat it or eat it. And then Garrett kind of took on the responsibility of taking care of and curating and cooking a lot of the dishes.
Courtney Miller
You're the head lead producer on it.
Garrett
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It used to be Finnerkey.
Courtney Miller
Finnerkey, Finnerkey.
Garrett
Monica Finnerty. And Monica and I used to kind of collaborate and make the dishes. Now it's Sarah and I. I choose most of the dishes that go in. I create a lot of them, not all of them, and I cook the majority of them.
Courtney Miller
And, you know, obviously, we have the Garrett Cam on Eat it or Eat it. Where you can see Garrett's reaction.
Shane Topped
But I don't want.
Courtney Miller
But I think it's important to remember, like, you have to test taste a lot of the foods before they're out there. So you've already been punished before the show starts.
Shane Topped
True.
Garrett
Yeah. I don't eat them all right now.
Shane Topped
Has Sarah. Sarah will like.
Courtney Miller
Well, there's probably a lot. There's prob.
Garrett
Tries all of them. Yeah.
Shane Topped
Which makes sense.
Garrett
Yeah. And it's not. Sometimes Lisa joins in. Oh, wow. Sometimes Lisa eats.
Courtney Miller
Wow, that's crazy.
Shane Topped
It seems like a fun experience.
Garrett
Do you want to. You want to join?
Courtney Miller
No, I would never want to.
Shane Topped
I have a really weird thing with food. Like, I. I hate tasting bad foods. I will try something that's super spicy, like we have in the past. But, like, I just have a weird thing with, like, it will kill my appetite for several hours.
Courtney Miller
I think everybody has things that they're just like. That's the thing that, like, it's impossible for me to be in a good mood and be entertaining while I do that thing. And I think that's okay. You know, One I realized was, for me, a couple years ago, we did a thing on Smosh games where Damien and I wore, like, dog shock collars.
Garrett
Oh, my God. Yeah.
Courtney Miller
And I remember going in being like, this will be fine, and they had on the lowest settings, and I got shocked, and I was just like, I can't. I can't do this. I was like, this is not for me. I can't find this funny. Like, there's a lot of things that I will do that I'm like, yeah, I'll do that. I'll eat gross foods. Like, I can. I can get through that. That was one of those things I was like, w. Electricity. Can't do it. Cannot do it. It's just not fun. And that's all right. Everybody has, like, a thing. Literally. Literally everybody has a thing that they're like, I'm not.
Shane Topped
They have a line like a. Somewhere.
Courtney Miller
Yeah. And it's different for everybody, and that works out. So we can kind of mix and match, like, like, with eat or eat it. Like, you host it. Like that. That's worked out very well.
Shane Topped
Yeah, I. I. Well, because I originally opted out. I. Actually. My plan wasn't even to host it, because when you guys were first coming up with the idea, it was really cool. You guys would, like, sit in the office for hours and just try and, like, you knew you had the bare bones of a good idea. That was originally you. That was called Face Jam. I feel like we've talked about it before, but then you guys spent so much time just like, okay, this will work, but we just need to figure out exactly how it will go. And in the beginning, like, when you guys talked about, like, it'll be where you have to jam the entire food in your face as quickly as you could.
Garrett
Yeah.
Shane Topped
And, like, my instinct was like, oh, that's gonna get, like, if I do that. Like, there's so many creeps and weirdos on the Internet. They're gonna, like, for sure.
Courtney Miller
Capitalize on that for sure.
Shane Topped
So I was just like, no, I just. I don't want do it. Like, I'm just not gonna do foodstuff. And then next thing I knew, when they were planning the shoots, like, okay, so, yeah, she's hosting. And I was like, what? Oh, okay. It has been really fun. This is my first time, like, hosting something by myself, because before that, it was one nature show or sleepover. And it's like. It's kind of. It's not so much like, hosting where, like, I'm the main person talking, because it's definitely, like, it's very much focused on you guys trying the dishes.
Courtney Miller
But I will say, I would I on eat it or yeet it. I would prefer to be in the position I'm in than yours, because you have to kind of hold the yeet Bucke sometimes. And that.
Shane Topped
That's my.
Courtney Miller
That's awful. Like, that. I can't Handle.
Shane Topped
Oh, my God.
Courtney Miller
Because especially if Keith is on.
Garrett
Keith. Keith.
Shane Topped
Especially in the beginning.
Courtney Miller
Keith lets it go, man.
Garrett
He will.
Courtney Miller
He will. Yeet.
Garrett
He will. Yeah, he's.
Shane Topped
It's rough.
Garrett
He's one of my favorite people to have on.
Courtney Miller
He. He's a. He's a true showman.
Shane Topped
He's a go getter.
Courtney Miller
Yes. Keith will always bring 100% energy, but.
Shane Topped
Let'S put the attention back on Garrett. Guys, so the whole reason for this podcast is to talk about eat it or eat it, of course. But with Garrett here, we put on our Instagram story. I don't know if we put anywhere else, but we put a thing to submit assumptions about Garrett because we think it's time for you guys to get to know him a little bit more. You got to see him do, like, a weird orbeez joke on the try not to laugh crew gauntlet.
Courtney Miller
So good.
Shane Topped
That one. I lost it. That one was really funny. But yeah. So we have a bunch of fans submitted. What? What?
Garrett
I also played the guy hunting down Horny Boys.
Shane Topped
Yeah. Horny Boys. You have been in Smash content quite a bit.
Courtney Miller
You were in. You were the principal in every substitute ever.
Shane Topped
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
You played the Princip, and you were.
Shane Topped
A teacher in my E Boy sketch.
Courtney Miller
You've been all over the place.
Garrett
Just here and there.
Courtney Miller
You've been all over the place.
Garrett
Here and there. But.
Courtney Miller
But I will say. I do want to say my. My brother, who watches all Smosh content, he watches Smosh games, watch Smosh Pit, watches Smosh Sketch channel, he lists the podcast, everything. His absolute favorite thing is the Garrick. It's his favorite thing on all of Smash.
Shane Topped
More than his own brother.
Courtney Miller
Yeah. Well, that's not surprising.
Garrett
I mean, it's just. It's kind of ripped from a Japanese television where they just have people watching.
Courtney Miller
Sure.
Shane Topped
That's right.
Garrett
Or, like, entertaining.
Courtney Miller
Or like Terrace House.
Garrett
Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.
Courtney Miller
But imagine Terrace House. It was just. They cut back to one guy, and he just didn't say anything. He was just like, wow.
Shane Topped
So you guys submitted a ton of your own assumptions about Garrett, which we will now be reading off and either confirming or denying and just talking about this stuff. Are you ready, Garrett?
Courtney Miller
People assume about you.
Garrett
I know. This is what I'm curious.
Courtney Miller
You've been a man of mystery. But no, no longer.
Shane Topped
I like this topic. Assumptions about people bear it all. It's gonna be great. All right, first assumption. He doesn't wear shoes.
Garrett
I do wear shoes.
Shane Topped
You wear shoes. What shoes are you wearing right now?
Courtney Miller
You actually wear really Cool shoes.
Garrett
Thank you.
Courtney Miller
You wear really, like, unique shoes.
Garrett
Prove it. Prove it for the podcast.
Shane Topped
Okay, well, I'm not the YouTube version.
Garrett
I figured this was just a podcast and I didn't wear my cool shoes today. I just wore.
Shane Topped
Those are cool.
Courtney Miller
I like those a lot. See, you always wear so poor. Garrett has, like, an REI aesthetic.
Shane Topped
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
Like, you. You dress like. Like, you could go hiking at any time.
Shane Topped
You're. You're like, if Zach Galifianakis fell into an rei.
Garrett
Yeah.
Shane Topped
I mean that in the best way.
Courtney Miller
And gained. And gained some height.
Shane Topped
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nature will do that to you.
Garrett
These are tavas.
Courtney Miller
Okay. Yeah, yeah. So literally, like, the sandals, they almost.
Shane Topped
Look like hiking shoes with, like, a brown accent on them, and they're really nice.
Courtney Miller
But you do always have, like, a. An outdoorsy aesthetic.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
Even when it's, like, really hot out in the middle of summer, you're still wearing, like, a button up long sleeve. I'm like, how do you do it, man?
Garrett
Well, I used. I used to work on Wall street, and there I would even come to work dressed in, like, Patagonia and, like, wow. Like, I was about to hike. But it was aspirational because I didn't want to be there. I wanted to. Yeah.
Courtney Miller
I can't imagine you on Wall Street. You are the most Wall street person I've ever known. Just like, all these, like, business sharks in suits, and all of a sudden, Garrett's there. Like, just like. Yeah, I don't. I don't know. I guess I'll invest in this.
Garrett
Oh, I wasn't doing that. No.
Courtney Miller
What was? I actually just really sorry. Like, you're on Wall Street. Like, what. What exactly.
Shane Topped
Yeah. What was your job?
Courtney Miller
I don't know anything about. Wall Street's one of those things that I pretend to know about. I don't know crap about stocks or business. That side of business I don't know anything about.
Garrett
I was. I was an assistant to a head hedge fund manager for a large family. So it was like a family money. And I just did research on the hedge funds and all the other funds we were invested in. The lot of places don't want to want you to find out what they're investing in. So they file. But they have to file it. So they file it under, like, different names. So a lot of it was, like finding out that making reports for the rest of the company.
Shane Topped
So fake.
Garrett
Yeah, so fake.
Courtney Miller
It's so weird.
Garrett
Everybody lies.
Courtney Miller
I.
Shane Topped
What an interesting job. How did you get here?
Garrett
How did I get here?
Courtney Miller
Did wait, like, was There a bunch of connection dots from there to here. Like, you were at some point in New York on Wall Street.
Garrett
Yes.
Courtney Miller
Working there.
Garrett
Yes.
Courtney Miller
And now you're working at Smosh, doing the. Garrett, like that. You didn't hop from that to this, right?
Garrett
I did not. Okay.
Shane Topped
How old were you in Wall Street? Like, where does that start?
Garrett
That was in my late 20s.
Courtney Miller
And I also want to say this for people may not know. Garrett at some point has mentioned having been in every country I've ever heard of. Gary will have a story be like, yeah, that reminds me of the time where I was in Japan. Or like, there was something where you're like, yeah, that reminds me of the time that I was in. I think you were saying, some African country. I was like, what the hell? Like, you've been everywhere.
Garrett
I really. I. I hate talking about it. I don't know. Well, because I hate talking about how cool. No, because I'm always like, oh, I don't want to be that guy that, like, just talks about his travels all the time.
Courtney Miller
Well, you don't. Nobody literally knows anything about it.
Garrett
Okay.
Courtney Miller
These are, like, over the course of several years, I've heard a couple of these stories, but every time I hear it, you say, like, very briefly, like, yeah, that's like, when I was in Japan, I was like, oh, you were. Okay. Like, you were also there at some point. Like that.
Shane Topped
How many countries have you been to?
Garrett
I think last I counted, it was like, 26 or 27.
Courtney Miller
Dude.
Shane Topped
Insane.
Garrett
There are 194 or five, six.
Courtney Miller
I mean, there's a lot, but.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
So is this a thing where, like, every year you go on a trip or were there periods of your life where you were traveling all over the world?
Garrett
Both. I. I had two stretches where I would travel for a year. Ish. And then for a long stretch, I made it a goal to go to a new country every year.
Courtney Miller
That's cool.
Shane Topped
That's so cool.
Garrett
Yeah, it was great.
Courtney Miller
That's great.
Garrett
I eventually broke that because I was, like, going to go to a country just to, like, check a box. I was like, okay.
Shane Topped
It's just crazy. Like, that's.
Garrett
No.
Shane Topped
Like, the majority of people will never be able to say that in their lifetime.
Courtney Miller
It's very cool. What. What would be your favorite country you've ever visited?
Garrett
I can give you a few.
Courtney Miller
That's fine. Just like, what are just some that come to mind?
Garrett
Iceland.
Courtney Miller
I love Iceland.
Garrett
I've heard it a few times. And I just love the lifestyle.
Courtney Miller
Yeah.
Garrett
Of just soaking and then cool.
Courtney Miller
It's just the chillest. Literally the chillest place.
Garrett
I loved Lebanon.
Courtney Miller
Lebanon.
Garrett
Lebanon was great.
Shane Topped
That's a small country.
Garrett
Yeah, it's just Africa.
Courtney Miller
Okay.
Garrett
Cool.
Courtney Miller
Middle East. Yeah. I've heard the food.
Shane Topped
I'm very bad at yoga.
Courtney Miller
Legendary. That's okay.
Garrett
Food was incredible. It was one of the. I really. One of the main things I care.
Shane Topped
About is food, which is great, considering you're the either ye. Master. Shall I move on to another assumption? That's okay. All right, the next one. He smells of timberwood or like a cold burger.
Garrett
Timberwood.
Shane Topped
Do you wear cologne?
Garrett
No, but I used to. Like ax. No, No.
Courtney Miller
I used to take pine needles and just kind of rub them over his body, actually.
Garrett
Yes.
Courtney Miller
Really?
Garrett
Yes.
Courtney Miller
That. Actually, I feel like that would work.
Garrett
Yes. Well, what I would do is I, I, I lived in LA before a while ago, and I was single, so before, on dates. Then they. I'd go to the neighbor's house, pick some lavender and rub it.
Courtney Miller
Oh, that actually.
Shane Topped
You sound so cute.
Garrett
That actually works.
Courtney Miller
That totally works.
Shane Topped
It makes sense.
Garrett
Yeah. But I don't eliminate the middleman because I don't eat.
Courtney Miller
I will say I, I. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, everyone, it's. Nobody smells bad at Smosh.
Shane Topped
No.
Garrett
Yeah.
Shane Topped
There. The smell. Incredible. Or like, there's no smell.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, I have a bad sense of smell, so I can't. I usually can't tell if someone smells, like, good unless they're wearing a ton of cologne, which is probably a bad thing at that point, but I don't. I've never felt at any point being like, oh, someone smells bad here. Everyone, it's fine.
Shane Topped
I have a very keen sense of smell. And. Yeah, I've never noticed a scent from you. I don't, like, go out of my way to smell people, but, like, there are people I can pick out the, like, Like, Keith smells really good. Shane, your cologne smells really good. Olivia will wear nice perfumes sometimes, but that's also.
Courtney Miller
We're. We're constantly, like, right next to each other, so.
Shane Topped
Yeah. All right, Next one. He got a cool dog because he is a cool guy.
Courtney Miller
Do you have one dog? Do you have two dogs?
Garrett
I have one dog.
Courtney Miller
You have one dog.
Garrett
My housemates have another dog.
Courtney Miller
Okay.
Shane Topped
And you got him during quarantine?
Garrett
I did. In June.
Shane Topped
Yeah.
Garrett
We were putting it off. Putting it off then because, you know, we were like, oh, quarantine's only gonna be two weeks.
Shane Topped
Yeah.
Garrett
Oh, quarantine's only going to be a month.
Shane Topped
Yeah.
Garrett
Oh, quarantine's only going to be six weeks. And then, like, it was just so hard to find a dog in la. Really? Yeah. They were all adopted already.
Courtney Miller
Well, that's. Well, that's a lot of people.
Garrett
Exactly.
Courtney Miller
That's a good thing to be out of stock on.
Garrett
I know.
Courtney Miller
Your dog is both. Your dog is two years old.
Garrett
One to two.
Courtney Miller
Well, your dog is two years old, but is 50 years old.
Garrett
Looks like an old man.
Courtney Miller
So great.
Garrett
I know.
Courtney Miller
I. That's the perfect dog. I would love a dog like that because I love old dogs.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
And so to have an old dog for 15 years, that's a great deal.
Garrett
I love him so much. I miss him right now.
Courtney Miller
I wish I could get a dog. I just. My place is so small. It's hard.
Garrett
If I wasn't.
Courtney Miller
Yeah.
Garrett
You know. You know, I'm dating somebody, and so we split the dog. And it's totally.
Courtney Miller
Totally.
Shane Topped
It's. It's. I think it's much easier with dogs when there's two people helping out. But, you know, I've done the single dog mom life. It's not impossible.
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Shane Topped
Okay, I'm gonna. I'm gonna move a jerk at the first meeting, then lovable Care Bear, once you know him. What was your first impression of Garrett?
Courtney Miller
I don't think Garrett's ever. Garrett's definitely never a jerk.
Shane Topped
Everybody gets stressed out. Everybody. Yeah, everybody has their moments of tension. But, like, I just remember you're very quiet at first.
Garrett
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Shane Topped
But.
Courtney Miller
Well, that's normal.
Garrett
I feel like people either come in at a 0 or 100 when you first meet them. I'm usually at a 0, so I feel like I'm the opposite. I'm nice at first, but then I'd be.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, it's tough. It's tough to remember. I don't remember our first meeting because I think back at Defy, things were just so chaotic and there was a lot of people coming in and out.
Garrett
Yeah.
Shane Topped
The way it usually goes. Sorry. I don't mean to.
Garrett
No, no, no.
Shane Topped
The. Where we were at Defy. You just kind of started seeing new faces one day.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, it's. You didn't get introductions. You would just be like, here, you're filming, and, oh, there's a new sound guy. Like, you're just kind of like that. And you. You'd get to know everyone. Like, it was always good, but. But it was so constant there.
Shane Topped
You worked your way up.
Garrett
Yeah. My first job with Smosh, I was a PA On Business Boy. I think it was Business Boy.
Courtney Miller
Oh, wow. That's forever.
Garrett
Yeah. At the mansion in Malibu, where it was, like, Noah and then a guy with, like, a big. I think Anthony was wearing, like, a big business emoji.
Shane Topped
I remember that.
Courtney Miller
I can't remember that sketch. I wasn't. I wasn't there for that. I wasn't there. I was.
Shane Topped
I remember that sketch.
Courtney Miller
So, man, back when we would do sketches around emojis.
Shane Topped
Yes.
Courtney Miller
That was.
Shane Topped
Oh, yeah, those were a lot of them.
Courtney Miller
Sexual Sun, Molester moon. Yeah. Boy, we different. Different angles back then on sketches.
Garrett
Yeah.
Shane Topped
And for the viewers or the people listening, what is your position now?
Garrett
Production manager.
Shane Topped
Hey, you went to PA to pm.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
Nice.
Garrett
I was Pam.
Shane Topped
Nice.
Courtney Miller
Nice. That's awesome. But you held on to that pee.
Garrett
I never let go of that pee.
Courtney Miller
Never. Never let the pee. Anyway.
Shane Topped
Yes.
Courtney Miller
Next one.
Shane Topped
So next assumption. He actually secretly loves to see everyone suffer on Eat it or Eat It.
Courtney Miller
Is that a secret?
Shane Topped
I don't think it's a secret.
Courtney Miller
I think you're pretty open about enjoying.
Shane Topped
Our suffering and not just on Eat it or Eat it. The spicy chocolates. Remember that? Was that you. Was that you're making? Remember when we had those spicy chocolates and we didn't realize how. Just how spicy they were?
Garrett
That was me.
Courtney Miller
That was Garrett.
Garrett
Yes.
Shane Topped
So guilty or innocent?
Courtney Miller
That was Spicy Mario party.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
Yeah. Oh, man. Garrett struck.
Garrett
Look, I. I. It. It's. It. I love it up until a point, and then it just drops immediately.
Shane Topped
Because of our attacking you?
Garrett
No, no, because of the. When it becomes like, oh, this is legitimate pain.
Courtney Miller
Well, that's probably like when. When Olivia had the malic acid peanuts.
Garrett
That was fine. That's not legitimate pain.
Courtney Miller
True.
Garrett
No, it probably is. For me, the thing that crossed the line that I felt really bad about was Jackie eating the bug mud.
Courtney Miller
Oh, yeah. Well, Jackie, she's new still. Yeah. So in our newer, ish iteration, where we have the wheel, which I love because there's an option to not have to eat anything, but Jackie got absolutely ruined she got three.
Shane Topped
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
And they were all bad. And she had to eat full bugs.
Garrett
Yes. That was. I mean, I don't know, but that was. I think she actually threw up, and I. Yeah.
Courtney Miller
Oh, yeah. I would say the most legitimate eats do happen off camera. We don't want to show that.
Garrett
Well, I think that was the only time somebody actually threw up.
Courtney Miller
Was it. Yeah.
Shane Topped
On Eat it or Yeeted.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
I guess I'm thinking of Noah's show put in my mouth from back in the day.
Shane Topped
Yeah. Because I. Yeah, I emptied my entire stomach on the finale. That was crazy. I remember, like, I threw up, and then I. There's a still that I have where I'm sobbing after I threw up and Keith and Howard just laughing.
Courtney Miller
We had to. We had to combine all the worst ingredients over the course of the show.
Shane Topped
And then make a smoothie ranch sod.
Courtney Miller
Crickets. Crickets.
Shane Topped
During. No, not during the. The pineapple.
Courtney Miller
It was a pineapple jizz fruit. It's the gigantic one.
Shane Topped
The gigantic pineapple type thing.
Courtney Miller
I think it is. But it, like, mixed with all that.
Garrett
Stuff smells like a dead.
Courtney Miller
It was awful.
Shane Topped
Yeah.
Garrett
It was rough, but that, I think. Were you about to say that Olivia eating the sour cashews?
Courtney Miller
That's what I.
Garrett
That was one of my favorite moments.
Courtney Miller
I mean, it looked like she was gonna die for a second, but.
Garrett
I know.
Courtney Miller
No, I guess you knew what it was. Y. I didn't. So knowing that it was just because it was sour. Yeah. I. I wish I could try those, because I don't think I would have had this. The reaction.
Shane Topped
My mouth waters.
Courtney Miller
The chances. The chances that it always lands on me for the malic acid and that I have no reaction to. It is so funny.
Shane Topped
I love grave mouth.
Courtney Miller
I. I get the malic acid, and then Damien always gets, like, the fishy thing.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
Where he's like, oh, this is actually. This is actually very good.
Shane Topped
I remember the very early on episodes of Eater to Eat it, and it was, like, one of the first dishes Olivia got that was, like, super spicy.
Garrett
Yes. The spice. The wasabi.
Courtney Miller
Wasabi. Twinkie, right? Yeah, the Twinkies are always great.
Garrett
Yeah.
Shane Topped
It's a cool show to, like, show you new things, like, remember those. It was such a bummer because those, like, plant the little flowers that make your mouth do everything.
Garrett
Yeah.
Shane Topped
In whatever dish. It, like, didn't get the same effect until we had people, like, just try it by themselves, because that was the crazy experience. That was cool because, like, if you tried to drink a soda or something after it did not help. So crazy.
Courtney Miller
My worst experience. My worst experience on that show is still the peanut butter cups filled with Cambodian fish paste. Yes.
Garrett
I.
Courtney Miller
And. And of course, everyone was like, oh, you're just gonna take one. Take three. And. Oh, my God. Oh, I nearly. I nearly fully yeeted.
Garrett
Yeah. That was another one of my favorites because, you know, so. I mean, it was so hard to get you.
Courtney Miller
I know, man. Really ruined me.
Shane Topped
Gotcha.
Courtney Miller
Yeah. Fish stuff. I don't. I have a hard time.
Garrett
If it was fermented.
Shane Topped
I hate fish.
Courtney Miller
Fish mixed with anything weird. Fish needs to be on its own.
Shane Topped
Like, I like fermented stuff. Like, there are things that I do. Totally. But fish in general, I have a.
Courtney Miller
Hard time with most of those things. Most of the things on Eat it or Eat it could be good.
Garrett
Yes.
Courtney Miller
If they are used properly. It's kind of like. I know we Australians tell us this all the time. Whenever we use Vegemite, we, of course, use a pound of Vegemite. You're supposed to spread it thinly on toast, and then it's probably.
Garrett
It's so good.
Courtney Miller
Yeah.
Garrett
Just butter and a thin slab of Vegemite. It's so tasty.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, exactly.
Shane Topped
Yeah. There's, like, a lot of foods like that where I'm sure, like, we. We definitely do that on purpose, kind of in a way of, like.
Courtney Miller
Totally.
Shane Topped
We want to give you guys a reaction. So I'm gonna, like, look at, laugh.
Courtney Miller
At, you know, because, like, a burger is usually good, but if it's cold. I mean, I love burger, but cold burger, but cold.
Garrett
I, I. That was actually my girlfriend.
Courtney Miller
Really?
Shane Topped
I have been forgetting to read the usernames. I'm sorry.
Garrett
Oh. Oh, I had a.
Shane Topped
There's this one. This next one is from a G. Palm 79. Oh, a sweet buddy. Yeah, I'm a sweet buddy.
Garrett
I'm a sweet buddy.
Shane Topped
You're a sweet buddy.
Garrett
Yeah, I like. I try to be a sweet buddy.
Courtney Miller
I think you're a sweet buddy.
Garrett
Yeah. Oh, yeah. That dog one was mine, too.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, that was yours too.
Shane Topped
Really?
Garrett
Yeah. Oh.
Shane Topped
Oh, my God.
Garrett
Oh, my God.
Shane Topped
Yeah. You have, like, four or five in here.
Courtney Miller
You use all these assumptions from Garrett.
Garrett
No, no, no, no. There's a few.
Shane Topped
There's one more.
Garrett
I just went to town for a bit last night.
Shane Topped
Yeah, you are drunk.
Garrett
Sweet buddy.
Courtney Miller
It's Tuesday night. It's time to say some assumptions about myself.
Shane Topped
There's some crazy ones in here. Like, he's a simp.
Garrett
That was not me.
Shane Topped
I know that wasn't you, but somebody Said that one. Are you a simp?
Garrett
Remind me of what simp is.
Courtney Miller
I mean, I think you have a girlfriend. I think I do. Yeah. I think you're a simp for her. I think you would be. I think you'd be the type that, like, your. Your girlfriend could ask anything of you and you'd be like, yeah, I'll do it. She'd be like, hey, can you run to. But I think, I think Garrett would go above and beyond, like, in a crazy way that I think if your girlfriend was like, hey, can you go to the store and get carrots? But can you go get carrots in Nevada? Can you drive to a grocery store in Nevada to get carrots and then come back? I think you'd be like, well, okay. Yeah.
Garrett
Well, I mean, I understand if, like, the carrots in Nevada are especially good. I get it. Simp.
Courtney Miller
What a simp.
Shane Topped
What a simp. I'm a simp.
Garrett
But yeah, no, she came up with cold burger.
Courtney Miller
She came up with burger cold.
Garrett
She. Well, she just said, what about just putting a burger in a freezer?
Courtney Miller
It ends up. It's now the most popular.
Garrett
I know.
Courtney Miller
Item of all time burger, but cold.
Shane Topped
It makes me. Sometimes I fantasize about eating a soaking wet burger.
Courtney Miller
That's weird.
Garrett
Just sounds like you fantasize about that.
Shane Topped
I don't know. Imagine just dunking a burger in a bucket of. Of fresh, filtered cold water and then just taking a bite. Not the worst thing. Anyways. Someone said what? Someone said, you like spicy food.
Garrett
Yeah, I do. I had to work my way up to it.
Shane Topped
Yeah.
Garrett
Yeah. I had to build it.
Shane Topped
When I first started this job, my palette was borderline Noah's palette, where it was like buttered pasta and nothing else. Now I am damaging my body at some points with how spicy the foods.
Courtney Miller
Are, but by the way, I'm gonna throw this out there. That reminded me with Noah's palate. Garrett, advice for you, if ever there's a chance where Noah's on eat it or yeet it.
Garrett
Okay.
Courtney Miller
I remember him mentioning this back in the day, that tomatoes are the thing that he just cannot eat.
Garrett
What?
Courtney Miller
I think, I think you could get.
Shane Topped
He does hate tomatoes.
Courtney Miller
I think you could get Noah to eat with just a tomato.
Garrett
Oh, my God.
Courtney Miller
I think just a straight up tomato. Just a tomato.
Shane Topped
A pile of cherry or grape tomatoes. Or like, should he have a bite out of one that.
Garrett
Or like a big beautiful heirloo.
Courtney Miller
Beautiful heirloom. But you got to make sure he gets it. Cuz if anyone else gets it that's just a good one.
Garrett
I know.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, but maybe, you know what, maybe that's the thing, cuz Noah, man, the things that are good are what's bad. Cuz Noah got a mango cake.
Garrett
Yes. And he hated it from Porto. He.
Courtney Miller
He didn't like it. Everyone else was like, what? That's the most delicious thing.
Shane Topped
I love that.
Courtney Miller
It was, it was easily the best item that's ever been on Eater. Eat it, cuz that's from Porto's, which if you don't live in la, it's a fantastic, fantastic bakery.
Garrett
And I was just like, this will be easy. Everybody, you know, will be so excited. Everybody will love it. You know, I got it so funny.
Shane Topped
I was told in middle school that tomatoes made your boobs grow.
Courtney Miller
Okay, I think I've heard that rumor.
Garrett
I've never heard that.
Courtney Miller
I think I've heard like on TV or there was a joke or something, like someone said that and I knew it only as a joke.
Shane Topped
That day I went home and ate a tomato. Like an apple.
Garrett
I mean, tomatoes, like apples are great.
Courtney Miller
I mean, look, you probably just lowered your chances of developing cancer lately life by eating a bunch of tomatoes.
Shane Topped
I think tomatoes are delicious, but I would love to see Noah's reaction to those. Do you guys have any foods like that that you just can't stand?
Courtney Miller
There is no vegetable or fruit that I'm like disgusted by. Definitely not vegetables or fruit. You can go crazier with beyond that, with meats and stuff. But there's no like simple item that I'm like, I can't eat that.
Garrett
I. Yeah, there's nothing that I'm like, well, okay, bananas, really? I cannot do.
Shane Topped
Really?
Ryan Seacrest
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
Oh, that's it. Like bananas. Like if you had to eat a banana, would you just be like, ah, this sucks.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
Or would you be like, oh my God, I can't eat this.
Garrett
Well, it's hard to tell now because.
Courtney Miller
You just haven't touched one forever or.
Garrett
Or like I've made it such a big deal that I'm like, oh, I don't want that. I don't want that. Like, oh no, you got me a banana thing. No, I'm not gonna eat it. I don't like it.
Shane Topped
So flavor.
Garrett
It's a, it's the flavor and the texture. But now it's like built to where like, it's almost like, like a bit where I hate them.
Courtney Miller
I will say the one that I, I do hate them, that I'm probably just the least fan of is avocados. Now guacamole is great, but an avocado on its own, I think it's just very, like. The texture is very heavy. It's just very heavy. It's not that I'm like. It's just that it's like. It's a lot. It just feels like a lot.
Garrett
I love just, like, a little salt and just.
Courtney Miller
I think maybe I need to put something on it, because when I've ever tried to eat it, I just need.
Garrett
To put a little salt.
Courtney Miller
Because plain, it's just kind of like.
Shane Topped
Yeah, yeah. We do our avocado toast. We take it very seriously.
Courtney Miller
See, I had avocado. I had avocado toast recently that I loved, but it had, like, tomatoes with it. It had some other stuff with other things. Avocado is awesome by itself. I'm just kind of like. Yeah.
Shane Topped
Even just seasonings do a lot.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Garrett
No, I think by itself. Same with, like, tomato. You need a little salt.
Courtney Miller
Totally.
Shane Topped
But it's the texture.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, the texture is just a little, like, weird. It's just kind of like. Like, you know, very like a clay almost type of.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
Texture and interesting. It's just not as great as others, you know, I love. I just. I don't know. But I'm a huge fan of all other vegetables and fruits, so I think. It's not that I'm like, I dislike avocado. It just doesn't rank up with everything else. I am a fruit and veggie simp.
Shane Topped
I used to absolutely despise celery.
Courtney Miller
Oh, I love celery.
Shane Topped
I don't like it when it's in, like, soups and stuff. I don't like what it does to things.
Courtney Miller
Huh.
Garrett
Is it. I also don't like water chestnuts.
Courtney Miller
Is it like that similar.
Shane Topped
Oh, I love that.
Garrett
Like in a soup. Oh, really?
Shane Topped
The texture is good, but it's the flavor that I. I hated so much.
Courtney Miller
I love celery.
Shane Topped
I think I've. Since I've been at smosh, I've, like, tasted it with, like, ranch or things like that. And then, like, I tried to change my outlook on it. Cause I was like, oh, negative calories. That's pretty crazy. But I just. Even. Just thinking about it now, I don't like it. I don't like it.
Courtney Miller
Celery's so great. You put some peanut butter on that celery.
Garrett
Ye. Yeah.
Courtney Miller
Or. Or if you're ever, you know, on vacation or something, Bloody Mary with a big old celery stick in it. Oh, my God.
Shane Topped
See, I don't Know, I would. I would be willing to taste it, though. I used to not like bananas very much either, but bananas have been my.
Courtney Miller
Jam my whole life. I have a banana every day, and I think that's been the case for years.
Shane Topped
You banana sluts.
Courtney Miller
I just love bananas. They're so easy. Bananas and apples are so convenient. I love how convenient. Yeah, they are.
Shane Topped
Is it weird that I always get a stomachache when I eat a fresh apple? Is that a mild allergy?
Courtney Miller
Do you have an empty stomach whenever you're doing it?
Garrett
Yeah.
Shane Topped
Yeah.
Garrett
It's like acidity.
Courtney Miller
It might be that there's acidity. Maybe it's just if you're. Your stomach's empty.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
I don't know. I could see if your stomach's empty that. That something like a tart fruit might upset it a little bit.
Garrett
Does a pear do it?
Shane Topped
I don't know. I haven't had a pear in a while. But those are good.
Courtney Miller
Pears are underrated.
Garrett
I know. I love a good pear.
Shane Topped
You know what I freaking love is broccoli.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, broccoli's legendary. That's a legendary food.
Shane Topped
That is S Tier.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
That is s tier.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
Step into the world of power, loyalty, and luck.
Garrett
I'm gonna make him an offer he.
Courtney Miller
Can'T refuse with family. Cannolis and spins mean everything. Now you want to get mixed up.
Garrett
In the family business.
Courtney Miller
Introducing the godfather@champacasino.com test your luck in the shadowy world of the Godfather slots.
Garrett
Someday I will call upon you to do a service for me.
Courtney Miller
Play the Godfather now@chumbacasino.com. welcome to the family. No purchase necessary. VGW Group void. We're prohibited by law 21 plus, terms and conditions apply.
Shane Topped
All right, next one about Garrett. This is the Garrett Show. He hangs out with young adults to feel young again. Don't we all?
Garrett
Who's that from?
Shane Topped
Nicolaus477. It's Monica.
Garrett
Yeah. I mean, look, I'm. I am older.
Shane Topped
Whether it's intentional or not.
Courtney Miller
Like, you're LA older.
Garrett
I am LA older. Yeah. Yeah, I know.
Courtney Miller
I know in la LA older, where you're not older, but, yeah, I do.
Garrett
Think, like, hanging out with younger people does make you feel younger, naturally, whether.
Shane Topped
You'Re trying to be there or not.
Garrett
Yeah.
Shane Topped
Can I say I've been preaching this. I really, truly believe that in this modern age, 30 is the new 20, because, like, people aren't moving out as soon as they're 18, as they, like, as often as they used to. And, like, people are figuring out their own lives. Much better.
Garrett
Yes.
Shane Topped
At around like, I'm 25 and I'm just now like really getting our hang of like, oh, I am this way because like, so, yeah, I agree with you.
Garrett
You're doing it before me. I. I'm 40. Really? Yeah.
Shane Topped
You don't have gas.
Garrett
I know.
Shane Topped
I. I think it's the facial hair that would be like, okay, that makes you look older, but you look like you could be like 33, 34.
Garrett
Yeah, I mean, I. Which is around when I started figuring stuff out. Like 33, 34.
Courtney Miller
Like, I agree with that. And also, I also think in that sense because, you know, like my grandparents who were just from such a different generation, but they retired in their 60s and I was just like that they spent then 20, 20, 20, 20 odd years more. More so just kind of like chilling. I'm just like, man, like, like, yeah, there was a lot, like, I don't know, like, I think we have changed. Like, it's different than their generation, like, because they. I think they thought they were gonna die sooner. So I mean, honestly, I mean, honestly, I'm just kind of like, dude, like, retiring at 60 is very, very young in a way. It's just not probably gonna be possible for us in our generation. So I don't know. Yeah, it is different. Like the age marker has changed.
Shane Topped
Yeah. But especially since. And it's. And it's also weird because like, like 15 year olds are looking so much more different than I looked when I was 15. Like, it's crazy. People are growing up faster.
Courtney Miller
But it is true. People are not like the average homeowner and stuff is so much later now and it's just harder to get things in order and settle down.
Shane Topped
But I will say, like, when I'm on social media and things like that, and you're watching the younger kids, like, be funny and seeing this new wave of humor and comedy, it makes me feel younger and makes me feel happier and wants to be a part of it.
Courtney Miller
Oh. And that is actually a proven thing and I think it's why retirement communities and stuff, I think is so sad. Like just being completely around people that your same age. My grandparents, when my brother, when he was 20, he moved and like started living with them. They got younger. Like, they really got younger. Like, it had such an impact on them just to be around youth and just to like, fresh perspective. And I think it's also my. I swear this is like my most important thing that I'm trying to remember for when I'm older is to really listen and respect young people, despite how different. Because, you know, think about how different we think from six 60 to 80 year olds now.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
I am sure when I'm 70, people in their 20s are going to be saying things that I'll be like, that's insane. But I'm gonna have to be like, you know What? It's been 60 years. The world's different. You're in it. I'm older. I respect your opinion. I'm gonna listen to you more. I think it's gonna.
Garrett
That will keep you younger and just embracing change. Exactly. Accepting that change is a constant that's always going to be there. And like, the next, the generation before you is going to change the world.
Courtney Miller
Right.
Garrett
And you can either, like, be angry about that or be a part of it.
Courtney Miller
You know, I think that's Garrett. I'd say that's why you seem younger, is because so many people by the time they are 40 or, you know, so they kind of are like, I am who I am.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
And my life is what it is. And I don't. I. I am actively preventing it from changing.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
Whereas you are still. I feel like you're constantly experiencing new things, or at least mentally try to. It seems like you're still growing and learning, and I think that's the difference between you and a lot of people your age that seem so much older.
Garrett
Maybe. I. I don't know.
Courtney Miller
I don't know.
Garrett
I hope so.
Courtney Miller
That's my assumption of.
Garrett
Yeah.
Shane Topped
What's your experience been on social media, like, since all of this.
Garrett
A friend of mine in high school invented LiveJournal. And so, like, we were there, like, it was for us to keep in touch. And so we all had, like, LiveJournal back in 90.
Courtney Miller
I don't even. I know what live.
Shane Topped
First Twitter.
Courtney Miller
That first Tumblr. Wow. I did not know what this was. I did not.
Garrett
Oh, really?
Courtney Miller
Oh, my God.
Garrett
So, yeah, well.
Courtney Miller
And it lasted like, Courtney was two.
Garrett
It lasted for a while. Like, I think George R.R. martin has a live journal still.
Courtney Miller
Wow. George R.R. martin would.
Garrett
Yes, he would. But so I've, like, always. But, like, I, you know, like, I would write stupid stuff on there. And I. I remember, like, one time, you know, writing about, like, somebody down the hall in my dorm, the most annoying laugh, and he read it. That was like, the first time that I realized, like, oh, this is.
Courtney Miller
You got canceled.
Garrett
I got canceled in that hallway. Yeah. Canceled.
Courtney Miller
That's. So you dox. You dox someone and you got canceled in the 90s on LiveJournals.
Garrett
Yeah. And social media.
Courtney Miller
Is Garrett the first person canceled on social media?
Garrett
Is that what we're hearing?
Courtney Miller
I'm sure. I can't imagine social media back in the day was so. Well, so much more personal.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
Because you're saying something and someone's going to show up in person.
Garrett
Yeah.
Shane Topped
So what about since you've been at Smosh? Especially since during Eater to eat it, what has it been like for you?
Garrett
It's been very interesting. Like. Yeah, I don't know. I have a lot more Twitter and Instagram followers now.
Courtney Miller
Do you get any hate comments?
Garrett
I don't think they're serious.
Shane Topped
Yeah. There's the roasting. Roasting that happens.
Courtney Miller
I feel like we actually have a very loving fan base. Yeah, they roast a lot, but there's no like legit.
Shane Topped
There's no hatred actually there.
Garrett
Yeah.
Shane Topped
I think what's cool about our team is everybody seems kind of young at heart or like whenever. Like since I've started working with people that are older than me, I've literally like I will forget my age. And it feels like it's just kind of this ageless group because we all are kind of. Everyone seems to have a lot of similar interests. Like we have like, like we had a rock climbing group.
Garrett
Yeah.
Shane Topped
For a while and then there was like gonna be like a hiking group and things like that. It feels like, like our group just like naturally seems to be all kind of young hearted.
Garrett
Yeah. You'd never guess Monica is 55.
Shane Topped
Yeah. And the fact that. Yeah. That Monica's 55. And Kiana, when I first met her, like I. I had no idea her age. Her and I are like only a couple days apart, I think.
Garrett
Really?
Shane Topped
Or is she a year younger than me? I'm not sure. But we're both Geminis so that's all it is. Chaotic.
Garrett
Yeah, that's. That's something I do love about the. This, this office, this work. Like so many different people.
Shane Topped
But yeah, we all seem to like.
Courtney Miller
It'S a group of very open minded people. And I think that's what keeps us all seeming young is we're all so like constantly learning.
Shane Topped
I feel, I weirdly feel like I've gotten a lot closer with our crew during this quarantine despite it being so crazy. I mean, granted in the beginning of like defy era I was very antisocial for like weird reasons, like toxic ex, things like that. But like it's been a new era of like trying to come out of my shell. Especially this year because I'm like, doing just fine. And we're realizing, oh, thanks, man. But, like, realizing during quarantine, like, oh, shit, like, social interactions, I have. I've been neglecting this, and this is really showing me how important it is.
Garrett
Well, and it's hard in la. Like, when Rachel and I first moved to LA together, like, we were all that we had for like, a year or two.
Courtney Miller
Yeah.
Garrett
And, like, I had. I took a job in Australia for a month during that. And so she was like, alone in la.
Shane Topped
Wow. Alone in la.
Garrett
Alone in la, going crazy. It's just a hard city to make friends in.
Courtney Miller
It is a tough city to make friends in.
Garrett
But that's for next week's podcast.
Courtney Miller
That's next week's podcast.
Shane Topped
Oh, yeah, it is, actually. Wow.
Courtney Miller
Wow. Garrett's on top of it.
Shane Topped
Another assumption about Garrett. You like your coffee black?
Garrett
Yes.
Shane Topped
Really?
Garrett
Yep.
Shane Topped
Not even any sweetener or sugar or anything?
Garrett
I like it black. I like it light roasted. And I like east angle African coffees. What's that, like, fruitier berry. Fruitier berry forward. Strawberry forward.
Courtney Miller
Interesting. Man, I am not that intelligent when it comes to coffee.
Shane Topped
I like nutty.
Garrett
Nutty.
Courtney Miller
So, like, is that a more European.
Garrett
South, like, grown in Europe?
Courtney Miller
No, no. Like, you're saying, like, like, like what. What regions typically do more that type of flavor profile.
Garrett
Yeah. So, like, East African will be, like, more like, the stuff grown there is like. Like, fruitier. South and Central America is a little nutty. Is nuttier.
Shane Topped
Got it.
Garrett
And then, like, Oceana is, like, woodsier tobacco.
Courtney Miller
Ooh, I think those are mine.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
Those are my favorites. Yeah. I like. And I like dark roasts.
Shane Topped
I don't care. I think medium roast is fine. I like light roast. My favorite brew bean that I have at home right now is called brew.
Courtney Miller
Nice. I wish I could drink coffee black. My teeth get stained so easily.
Garrett
Yeah.
Shane Topped
How do you drink coffee, though? Like, do you. Do you let it, like, flow through your teeth? You should open up. You should open up that. I'm not joking.
Garrett
Are you drinking, like, how do you.
Shane Topped
Is your teeth biting the coffee?
Courtney Miller
I mean, my teeth. I have pretty large front teeth, so it probably can't avoid it. That they. Yeah, do it like that.
Shane Topped
Use that screenshot this, because I don't get that.
Garrett
I get it.
Courtney Miller
I. My teeth stain very. But my teeth stain very easily. And I'll notice it. And, like, it fluctuates because literally, my teeth will start to stain. They will look like I smoke. They'll get that yellow. And then I go to the dentist and it's like they. They're able to just scrape it all.
Shane Topped
Off and it's back to normal.
Courtney Miller
It's weird. I don't know.
Garrett
Crazy.
Courtney Miller
Yeah. Just what it is.
Shane Topped
Do you prefer hot or cold coffee?
Garrett
Oh, either way, it depends on the season you've made.
Courtney Miller
You. There was a period of time where you were making cold brew for the whole office. Yeah.
Garrett
Yeah.
Shane Topped
That was a lot of fun.
Garrett
1.
Shane Topped
All right, next one. Garrett's car is the messiest of the crew.
Courtney Miller
Ooh, that's an interesting assumption.
Shane Topped
I think someone else takes that cake.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, someone else definitely does win. You guys gonna say who? Well, I don't.
Shane Topped
That's mean.
Courtney Miller
No, we can't.
Shane Topped
We can't.
Garrett
I don't know.
Courtney Miller
We can't.
Shane Topped
We can't.
Courtney Miller
We can't. I'm sorry. You guys love to continue the saga of who has the messiest car. I would say that yours would be that messy.
Garrett
Yeah, it goes in phases.
Courtney Miller
I mean, everybody's.
Garrett
It doesn't get that messy.
Courtney Miller
Everybody goes in phases. But who on who has the average messiest car at all time? Because everyone cleans their car out a little bit.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
And then. And then lets it get bad. But who has it the worst? And your car then, is it usually.
Garrett
Full of, like, gear?
Courtney Miller
Do you leave hiking gear or stuff in there?
Garrett
Oh, hiking gear. Sometimes. Sometimes. Yeah. There's usually a few jackets.
Courtney Miller
Okay.
Shane Topped
Yeah. What's the kind of messy that everybody has?
Garrett
Yeah, so your jackets, a few Lacroix cans.
Courtney Miller
Got it.
Garrett
That I need to get around to a couple things for the dogs. Disposable masks. Yeah, right now. I mean, it's full of hand sanitizer right now too.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, usually some carabiners.
Garrett
Blanket or two carabiners.
Shane Topped
What about you, Shane?
Courtney Miller
Mine's papers. Like, I'll get papers. Like, if, like. Yeah, if I go get my tires fixed, they give you that sheet of paper. Whatever. I'll leave that on my passenger seat and that'll end up just kind of on the floor. I'll eventually have so many receipts and just paper all over the place. That's. That's mine. And I used to be. It used to be water bottles. Yeah, I would have just countless, like, half empty or empty water bottles. Not anymore. And obviously this year I'm not driving as much, so. Yeah, it's not that bad.
Shane Topped
Mine's mostly like Starbucks, like, breakfast wrappers and stuff.
Courtney Miller
Makes sense. That's. That's fair.
Shane Topped
I've decided, like this morning, I was just talking about. I think with both of you guys that I don't like Starbucks anymore.
Garrett
Oh, really? I wasn't there for this. Oh, yeah, I'm proud of you.
Courtney Miller
Starbucks is a convenience thing, I will say.
Shane Topped
Like the Starbucks I go to, I specifically go to because the staff is so friendly. It's been obviously different because of the crazy times, but I used to go there and they were so nice to me in the drive thru that I would like literally get coked out from there. I was like, yes, fricking nice. I love it. This is gonna be a great start to my day.
Courtney Miller
Well, the workers at Starbucks are all great. They're always. There's no problem with that.
Garrett
Sometimes there's like workers pretty well, that's.
Shane Topped
That'S, that is a huge part of it.
Courtney Miller
And, and Starbucks coffee is only not good because they literally are equipped to make so many types of things that they're not focusing on making a couple things. Right. You go to any other coffee shop, it's like we make a latte, a cappuccino, the art Americano, and like, we make those things very well. Starbucks has to be able to make a bunch of Frappuccinos and stuff. So you order regular coffee, it's going to taste like whatever.
Shane Topped
Yeah, it just, I randomly. It hit me today that I've been trying, I have been trying nicer, like smaller business coffees and I was like, I just suddenly this morning I made a mental comparison because I ordered the same thing all the time. Just like a iced coffee with oat or coconut milk and vanilla. I was like, holy shit, this tastes awful compared to. And I'm not, I'm sorry, Starbucks. I'm not trying to be mean, but I guess I am on Ian's team now.
Courtney Miller
Starbucks is gonna be okay.
Garrett
Yeah, they're gonna be fine.
Courtney Miller
Starbucks is gonna. Starbucks. I think Starbucks is gonna be fine.
Shane Topped
I love you guys. I might even still just come in to say hi.
Courtney Miller
I will. Whenever I do go to like a local, like small business coffee shop, I'm like, holy God, this latte is delicious to everyone listening. Go to, go to local coffee shops. Especially right now in 2020. They are hurting. Go and trust me, you're. I, I don't care where you live. I guarantee you, like you've got a really good local coffee shop. I guarantee you probably do.
Shane Topped
I guarantee it.
Courtney Miller
I feel like every state has like a different, different aspect to what makes their coffee great. I don't know.
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Shane Topped
Okay, this next one is. It's in all caps. This is from at Champion Cheddar ready. Okay, I'm gonna just do it the way that they probably want to reset it. You have a wig. Like, your hair never grows. It is the same all the time.
Courtney Miller
Your hair's grown quite a bit this year.
Garrett
Yeah, I know. What are they talking about?
Shane Topped
Yeah, that's crazy thick hair. It is in the best way. It is very.
Garrett
Yeah, yeah. It's the Greek in me.
Shane Topped
Wow. I know. I do. Now I see it.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, I do know. You agree.
Shane Topped
Now that I see it. Now that you say that.
Garrett
But like, my chest is hairless.
Shane Topped
Oh, wow. That's crazy.
Garrett
And somehow the Greek is just here.
Courtney Miller
Only the Greek is.
Shane Topped
I almost asked an inappropriate question.
Garrett
Yeah, sorry, Courtney.
Shane Topped
You know, it's just tiktoks talking about, like, a lot of people on a lot of podcasts also too, are just talking about a lot of body hair stuff.
Garrett
Yeah.
Shane Topped
Anyway, that's wild. Having a crazy hairy head and face and then not a hairy chest.
Courtney Miller
That's lucky because you know what? I don't understand how guys. I don't understand how guys can handle having tons of shoulder hair.
Shane Topped
Shoulder hair.
Courtney Miller
Like, I will see some. I will see some. I will see some dudes walking around wearing tank tops and they are. There is an inch, like, off their body that nothing will pass that. I'm just like, what. What's it feel like to never wear? Like, they must feel like clothes are never actually touching their skin.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
A shirt is always an inch off there.
Shane Topped
I wasn't talking about. I wasn't thinking about pubes, by the way.
Garrett
Okay.
Shane Topped
Asses.
Garrett
Oh, my. Oh, okay.
Shane Topped
Sorry. That doesn't. That's so much better.
Courtney Miller
Well, you know what's got to be on. No, but once again, what's uncomfortable is having, like, hair, like, on the butt cheeks. I'm like. I'm just like. That's gotta like, you sit down on your hair. Like, ah. Like, that's.
Garrett
I'VE got some.
Courtney Miller
But I'm talking, like, people who are like. You see those old. You see, like, old. Literally, like, you'll see, like, an old Italian dude walking around, and he's wearing, like, a tank top. He's chilling. He seems like he's having a great time. But that guy is covered in so much hair, and I'm like, how is that comfortable?
Garrett
How do you see his ass hair?
Courtney Miller
Well, not his ass hair.
Shane Topped
Well, it depends on the pants.
Courtney Miller
I mean, sometimes it. Sometimes people, like, you're not wearing much. But I'm talking still about the shoulder hair.
Garrett
Yeah, yeah.
Courtney Miller
The shoulder hair is still what baffles me. I'm like, God, that looks uncomfortable.
Garrett
And then in the summer, it's got to be so hot.
Shane Topped
I'm sure, like, you wake up one day, and suddenly you have hairy shoulders. That's one thing. But, like, they've grown up with it. I don't know.
Garrett
It's what.
Shane Topped
You know, they're used to it, I.
Courtney Miller
Think my dad had a super hairy back, and he got, like, laser hair removal forever ago. But I don't have any hair on my back. I don't know. I didn't get. I didn't pick it up.
Shane Topped
Yeah, but do you. You, like, can grow chest hair?
Courtney Miller
I can. I actually shave. So I do shave my chest hair. Because getting miked on set on Goldberg's, what they do is they stick. They. They put, like, this crazy tape on. On the microphone, this tiny little microphone, and they stick it to your chest. And when I did have chest hair, it would just. I would have to rip off chest hair every day. And it got to the point I was like, you know, I'm just getting rid of this. Like, I can't. It sucks.
Shane Topped
We put it on. We put it on the fabric of our clothes and stuff. When we do it, it.
Courtney Miller
And even then, though, it'll sometimes get caught, and it just sucks.
Shane Topped
Anything you have to say about that?
Courtney Miller
Anything you have to say about that?
Garrett
No.
Courtney Miller
So Garrett, just so you know, Garrett does not wear wig.
Shane Topped
He does not wear a wig.
Garrett
Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Courtney Miller
The beard is. Oh. Is fake.
Garrett
Yeah. I glue on each.
Courtney Miller
Every single individual strand.
Shane Topped
Your own real hair.
Courtney Miller
Exactly. You transfer it over to there.
Garrett
Yep.
Courtney Miller
That's. But that's normal.
Garrett
It looks better.
Courtney Miller
Exactly.
Shane Topped
At Anna, Riley says Garrett farms his own bugs for consumption because he is a bunch of birds in a Garrett suit.
Courtney Miller
Wow. Garrett, what do you have to say about that?
Shane Topped
Exposed.
Garrett
Kevin, shut this down.
Courtney Miller
Oh.
Garrett
Cut the cameras.
Courtney Miller
Cut the sound. Okay, everything's off. Go ahead and let it spill.
Garrett
I am two birds.
Courtney Miller
Just only two. But they are California Condors.
Garrett
They are California Condors. So they.
Courtney Miller
They're very large. They're very large, so it makes sense.
Garrett
Yeah.
Shane Topped
Are the legs in here?
Garrett
Yeah, the legs are in the arms.
Shane Topped
My arm is sore from my flu shot.
Garrett
Yeah, I know. One head is here. One head is here.
Courtney Miller
Garrett said one head is in his head.
Garrett
One head is in my chest.
Courtney Miller
Yes.
Garrett
I forgot this is a podcast.
Courtney Miller
The Condors are not comfortable, but they are working together, and they are making a. Garrett teamwork. Obviously, you don't farm bugs, but.
Garrett
Because I would eat them. You.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, but you do. You do actually grow a lot of stuff on your own, right?
Garrett
I try, but I don't do that well. I.
Shane Topped
It's hard.
Garrett
It is hard. The two things that are growing well for me right now are rosemary and basil.
Shane Topped
Nice.
Courtney Miller
Love rosemary.
Garrett
Rosemary is so easy.
Courtney Miller
Really?
Garrett
Yeah, it's. I really want to make sage work.
Shane Topped
It's good because people who buy them, I guess they don't realize it's, like, a hard resource to get or something for some people.
Courtney Miller
Sage.
Shane Topped
Is it sage? Am I thinking of the right thing? Like, there's a lot of people that are against burning sage, right?
Garrett
Yeah. But I think that's part of it is. That's appropriation and that it's also, like, traditionally, you. You're not supposed to, like, pay for the. The sage bundle that you then smudge with.
Courtney Miller
Like, it's like.
Garrett
Yeah, you're not supposed to pay for it.
Courtney Miller
Oh, interesting.
Garrett
Yeah. I mean, I think the main thing is it's appropriation, but I just. I just love the smell of sage. Like, I've says.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, well, fresh plants are so great.
Shane Topped
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
Like, I love when I. Whenever I buy basil, and I'm just like, oh, this smells so delicious. I would love to have a basil plant in my house. So it just constant smells like basil.
Garrett
It does. It's great. Well, and. And then sage is so tasty. And then I love to, like, take a sprig of sage and put it in the. On the dashboard of my car. Oh. Smell like sage.
Courtney Miller
Oh, interesting.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
That's a very Garrett thing.
Garrett
I know.
Courtney Miller
That is a very Garrett thing.
Garrett
Yeah.
Shane Topped
Actually recently bought a basil plant. It's in my kitchen.
Garrett
Yes.
Shane Topped
I was. I have a lot of plants in my place recently, and I've been moving around, trying to find their spots, and I decided to buy a basil plant. It. It's in the perfect spot. It's a very moody plant. It seems like it needs it's like the way the amounts that you need to water it are kind of like.
Garrett
I. I have mine on a automatic. Like, it's got a reservoir wall underneath it that it just kind of.
Courtney Miller
I need to get one of those things, like, one of those, like, Brookstone devices where it's like, this is your garden, and it, like, kind of has UV lights on it and everything. Something. Because otherwise, I feel like I wouldn't keep it alive.
Garrett
I had my. I have mine in the. In the kitchen, in the window alcove area, and it gets blasted by the heat in the summer, so it was destroyed, but then it grew out of it. So it's like there's this brown part, and then it's green and basil above it.
Shane Topped
Is it weird that I'll just randomly pull a leaf off the basil plant and eat it and just keep it?
Courtney Miller
No, dude. That's what it's for.
Garrett
Yeah. Okay. One of my. I love to grow kale and just go and eat it.
Shane Topped
Really?
Garrett
Not even pick it, but just start.
Courtney Miller
Eating it in, like, a giraffe.
Shane Topped
I think that's one of the things I can't do, is raw kale.
Courtney Miller
I can't do raw kale, but roasted kale, that's the best thing ever made.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
Is that it for the assumptions on.
Shane Topped
Pretty much.
Courtney Miller
Do you have any. Courtney, do you have any assumptions of. Garrett, Do I have any? Because I think I. I want to see if I'm correct on some of these. Garrett, you've had. You've at least attempted to brew your own beer at some point?
Garrett
No, but I have tried kombucha.
Courtney Miller
You have tried to make your own. Wow.
Garrett
Kombucha. Yes.
Courtney Miller
How did it work out?
Garrett
Yeah, it worked out well, but in a tiny Brooklyn apartment, it just wasn't feasible. I mean, it was smelling it up.
Shane Topped
What kind of kombucha?
Garrett
Just basic black tea. Kombucha.
Courtney Miller
Got it.
Garrett
I have helped somebody brew beer before.
Courtney Miller
But that's, like, just a small. Like one of those small little sets, you know? Not. Not. Not crazy.
Garrett
You're not actually.
Courtney Miller
You're not, like, selling beer illegally or whatever?
Garrett
No, no, no, no.
Shane Topped
I just. My only assumption I've ever had about you is, like, you're mischievous.
Garrett
I mean, Kevin's not in his head yet. Yeah, I love, like, being a little trickster, if I can. Like, it's my favorite thing. Like, the trickster gods, you know, the trickster archetype. Yeah. I love Loki.
Shane Topped
Have you ever broken the law? You can say that on a pod. It's fine.
Garrett
Really. This isn't binding.
Shane Topped
This is a private pod.
Garrett
I am kind of.
Courtney Miller
And a parking ticket is breaking the law.
Garrett
I am a bit of a rule follower.
Shane Topped
That's good.
Courtney Miller
No, I would see that.
Garrett
Yeah. I get really stressed out if I'm.
Shane Topped
Breaking a rule, but yeah, it's innocent pranks and stuff.
Garrett
Oh, yeah, innocent pranks.
Shane Topped
That's what's great about smosh pranks.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
I have an assumption of. Garrett, I assume that at some point in high school or college, you had a Bob Marley phase.
Garrett
Oh, no.
Courtney Miller
Nope.
Garrett
No. You do not know in high school.
Shane Topped
Deadhead.
Garrett
No. First year. All black.
Courtney Miller
All black.
Garrett
Pearl Jam, Metallica Nirvana T shirts.
Shane Topped
Whoa.
Courtney Miller
Nirvana, Garrett.
Garrett
And then after that, khakis and blue button up shirts. Khakis and button.
Shane Topped
You were a boat boy?
Garrett
Not really.
Shane Topped
Do it to him, boy.
Courtney Miller
Just khakis and blue button up here. Preppy is all good.
Garrett
That's what I was going for. But I was not preppy at all. Like, the preps wouldn't exist.
Shane Topped
We're like, spiteful preppy.
Garrett
No. Like, this is safe. I couldn't even.
Shane Topped
You're just dressing hetero.
Garrett
Yeah, yeah, I guess so. Yeah. I. I couldn't even use the word cool because I didn't think I was cool enough to use the word cool.
Shane Topped
Wow.
Garrett
Like, I just. So I was like, okay, just go to J.
Shane Topped
Crew.
Courtney Miller
Oh, that's square. Oh, guys, that sounds pretty square. Were you still listening to Nirvana and Pearl Jam?
Garrett
Yeah. And like, Dream Theater, Queens rec. A lot of progra.
Shane Topped
Do you have pictures of this era?
Garrett
I do.
Shane Topped
Okay, good.
Garrett
Yes.
Shane Topped
Because we will need to see those. I'll have to find one. Where, like, in the peak of college.
Garrett
Where were you at peak of college.
Shane Topped
Or peak of high school?
Garrett
I was in the big. I hate to admit this, but in college I was a. I was a big Woody Allen phase. Okay, so still. Still like button ups and like khakis and like, sweaters over them.
Courtney Miller
Got it.
Garrett
And anxiety. Yeah. Kind of like all together.
Courtney Miller
Wow.
Garrett
And it was after that, I worked a job in Colorado as a ranch hand. That's where I. Wow. Like the outdoorsy.
Courtney Miller
Cool. Where in Colorado?
Garrett
Buena Vista.
Courtney Miller
I've never been to Buena Vista. I love Colorado, though. And I've. I've actually, there was a phase when I was struggling with acting where I was like, teasing the idea of, like, go work as a ranch hand for a month. Like, just.
Shane Topped
Dude, I had this same phase, but, like, I was gonna use that website called Workaway.
Garrett
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Shane Topped
There's something like that.
Garrett
Yeah.
Shane Topped
I don't know if I'm naming it, but where you just basically go work on a ranch and they just let you live there.
Garrett
There's. There's like a farm wolfing.
Shane Topped
Is that what it is?
Garrett
Yeah. Wolfing. I can't remember, but it's like farms across the world.
Shane Topped
Yeah, you can do that.
Courtney Miller
I've really. I really wanted to do that too because my grandfather was born and grew up on a ranch in Colorado. So like my family.
Garrett
Both.
Courtney Miller
Both lines of my family come from ranchers.
Garrett
Where in Colorado?
Courtney Miller
I don't know where it necessarily not far from like Denver.
Garrett
Okay.
Courtney Miller
Though just. But just kind of out there in the plains.
Shane Topped
Wow. Everyone in this room has had sexual tension with being a horse girl.
Courtney Miller
I have one more. I have an assumption of Garrett. We know Garrett worked on Wall Street. My assumption of Garrett is that he also occupied Wall Street.
Garrett
I did walk around and like, was.
Shane Topped
That you were there.
Garrett
I was there during working.
Courtney Miller
During occupied.
Garrett
That's crazy.
Courtney Miller
I have a thought for some last things we can say. Unless there's some. Some questions or whatever. But I was going to say what are some pitches that we have for what we could do on eatery? Because I've had some ideas.
Shane Topped
I've submitted some, but I think they just kind of get lost.
Courtney Miller
Well, hey, look here. Here's a platform right now. We could say them and they can be out there in public.
Shane Topped
But I kind of want the.
Courtney Miller
I guess the theme and the fans could keep asking. You can keep commenting.
Shane Topped
But you're a potential eater. Is here.
Garrett
I know. I still have your. Your document.
Courtney Miller
I'm not saying foods even. I still have.
Shane Topped
There's the sandwich one.
Garrett
Yes.
Shane Topped
But I had an even better one. The movie one.
Courtney Miller
I think I. I do think. Look, if we're saying foods. A theme that I would like, like an obviously non alcoholic. But cocktails. Some nice virgin cocktails.
Garrett
Some.
Courtney Miller
Some virgin cocktails that are awful.
Shane Topped
I'm down. Mocktails.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, some mocktails. What's the famous one? What's the. Or not. It's not a mocktail even. But what's the famous. Like Shirley Temple. Shirley Temple or an Arnold Palmer that.
Shane Topped
Just Keith love Shirley Temples.
Courtney Miller
They're good.
Shane Topped
Those are good. You said that they're awful.
Courtney Miller
No, I didn't. I said they're not. I said they're not technically like cocktails. I said it's not a virgin cocktail. It's not even.
Shane Topped
Why am I gatekeeping sugary drinks?
Courtney Miller
I think you know we have the Garrett Sliver, like when we have the spinning. I Think we should do one where everyone else is sliver and Garrett is the majority.
Garrett
No, no, no.
Shane Topped
Garrett.
Garrett
No, no, no, no, no. That's not.
Courtney Miller
Garrett has like a 90% chance of getting every single one and everyone else has, like, a tiny chance.
Garrett
There's no need. There's no need for that. I don't know. See, the problem is, is I'm over on the side and I've just got a stool. There's no table there for me to eat eat. So it really doesn't work to have.
Shane Topped
You don't have the resources.
Garrett
I don't really have a way for me to eat the food.
Courtney Miller
I think we could also do a deal or no deal situation where all five are brought out and they're laid in front of us and we take turns just picking one. Like, you just go, I pick number five.
Shane Topped
Or if it's like in suitcases.
Courtney Miller
Just the milkshake just. Just milk just pours out of the suitcase. Like how you drink it.
Shane Topped
That's really funny.
Courtney Miller
And guys, just so you know, please comment down, like, beneath our video.
Garrett
I get a lot of beneath.
Courtney Miller
Eat it or eat it Comment ideas. Any idea you have. And we do read them.
Shane Topped
We read them the Garrett Sliver. We've used ideas.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, the Garrett Sliver came from a suggestion.
Garrett
I've done a strawberry filled thing off a suggestion.
Shane Topped
Dude, we almost got you with the Garrett Sliver recently on a shoot. The episode might not be out yet, but we one day.
Garrett
Look, I wish it would work. I really do.
Shane Topped
He has magnets, gets hooked up.
Garrett
It's so.
Courtney Miller
It's such a shame.
Garrett
It's just such a shame. I'm so sorry.
Shane Topped
I just pull your teeth out and then you'll not be able to eat anything.
Courtney Miller
That's the only assumption you guys can get, right? Is that he wears dentures.
Garrett
Yeah, I do.
Courtney Miller
You guys didn't predict it there?
Garrett
It's wood painted white.
Courtney Miller
Yep. And they look great.
Garrett
Thank you.
Courtney Miller
I got a question for you, Courtney.
Shane Topped
For me?
Courtney Miller
Yeah. For eat it or eat it. Are you ever going to eat it? Oh, will Courtney ever be a contestant?
Shane Topped
I feel like there has been past episodes before quarantine where I did, like, taste things. Like after it's already been eaten, maybe.
Courtney Miller
There would be a type of food where you'd be down where it's like, okay, this type of. This general sphere won't gross me out enough.
Shane Topped
I trust you. I'm not like, on. I wasn't on the show at first because there was an element of distrust, but I don't Think you're gonna make an awful experience for me or you're gonna try and make me look bad?
Courtney Miller
You just don't like bad food. Food.
Shane Topped
I don't like bad food. Part of me is, like, solidarity. Like, put a Courtney sliver down.
Garrett
Yeah.
Shane Topped
But even.
Garrett
And maybe, like, a bigger sliver, it.
Courtney Miller
Should be a super. A super small Courtney sliver.
Shane Topped
Like, literally half the size of yours.
Garrett
What?
Shane Topped
No.
Courtney Miller
Like, the chances are so slim. No, I mean, it's.
Shane Topped
I know it's crazy because, like, I.
Courtney Miller
Know it's not unfair.
Garrett
I know sometimes.
Shane Topped
Sometimes I choose not to read the cards or I'll, like, skim them. I usually do know what you guys are eating, so, like, that's what kind of makes it worse.
Garrett
Have you felt like I've crossed the line?
Shane Topped
Not in eat it or eat it. Like. Like, because I put it in my mouth.
Garrett
In other places, though. No, Like, I don't think I've crossed the line.
Shane Topped
I think outside, sometimes punishments get crazy, but I don't even know if I can necessarily, like, pick. Like, you were the one who picked all of those.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
Yeah. I don't think you crossed a line with the food, but I think everyone crossed the line by telling me to put in three fish pieces.
Shane Topped
That is something that does make me nervous is, like, when I'm told to, like, okay, take a big bite, or, like, punishments. The concept sometimes it gives me anxiety of, like, why do I need to get hurt? Or, like, why. Like, why are you doing. You need me to hurt? Like, am I not funny enough? Am I not good enough? Alone in the content.
Courtney Miller
It's about the thumbnail.
Shane Topped
I auditioned for this.
Garrett
That Mario party where it was too spicy is got a lot of.
Courtney Miller
Oh, my God. I will say. I will say. Habanero peppers are always the worst. There's nothing that compares. But there is an element. There's a second where it's delicious. There's a second where it's delicious, and then it's just pain.
Shane Topped
And I have had burgers or meals Murgers.
Courtney Miller
Habanero peppers are awesome. Eating an entire one.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
In one bite is my first time.
Shane Topped
I did it, like, was that Summer Games. I couldn't speak.
Courtney Miller
It was my first week. I had to eat a habanero.
Shane Topped
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
Yeah.
Garrett
Oh, yeah.
Shane Topped
You're not okay. Like, I remember seeing Mari in the back just tripping out, like, delirious.
Courtney Miller
Yeah.
Shane Topped
It's wild.
Courtney Miller
It's. It's a bad time.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
Nothing compares to habanero pepper. Nothing compares.
Shane Topped
You ready for the shoot, dude? Guys.
Garrett
Yes.
Courtney Miller
I guess so. Obviously, Garrett, you've listened to the podcast. We listen to this story, and I like to determine whether I believe it's true or not. So I think a lot of people are out there trying to try to fabricate stories.
Shane Topped
These are listeners submitted or viewer submitted stories of embarrassment or cringe moments that we will deem whether they're not. They are a shoot dude. I don't think people are necessarily lying. I think sometimes they will spin them in a way. Or like that one dude who's like, I accidentally stumbled across this mom's underwear drawer. I'm like, dude, I think you're snooping.
Courtney Miller
I think you would.
Shane Topped
We talk about that episode a lot. I feel bad for that dude.
Courtney Miller
But no, I mean, it's fine. Hey, look, it's fine. It's not like a big deal.
Shane Topped
I definitely did.
Courtney Miller
I think the perfect shoot dude is like a Seinfeld scenario where someone actively does an action and it backfires on them.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
That, to me, is the perfect shoot dude. Yeah. Because there's some also where people are just like completely innocent, where something just happens to him. I'm like, that's not a shoot dude. You just got screwed over.
Garrett
Yeah.
Shane Topped
Would you say you're on the quest for the. You're on quest for the perfect shoot dude?
Courtney Miller
I. I think so. The. The underwear drawer. The Mom's underwear drawer 1 was almost perfect if he truly had gone in there for a different reason and accidentally did that. Yeah, I don't believe that was the case.
Shane Topped
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
I don't buy it. Don't buy it.
Shane Topped
All right. Are you ready for the shoot dude?
Garrett
Yes. Yes. My heart is open. You're supposed to say shoot dude. Oh, shoot dude.
Shane Topped
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
Shoot dude. Shoot dude. Shoot dude.
Shane Topped
Shoot dude.
Courtney Miller
Shoot dude.
Shane Topped
Shoot dude.
Courtney Miller
Shoot dude.
Shane Topped
This one is from Jake. Two years ago, I was talking to a guy on Grindr and we seemed to hit it off. After a week, we'd finally decided to meet at a chain sit down restaurant for our first meal defined date. I arrived at the restaurant 10 minutes early. Ah. Like you say in your video. In our video, a side effect of having worked in emergency response. I guess he always wants to be early to everything and sent him a text to let him know I was by the host stand. He responded almost immediately saying he was as well. I looked around and didn't see anyone who matched any of his pictures. So naturally I started to get nervous that he either catfished or ghosted me. I send back a message asking the restaurant on Blank Street. He, like, basically just Claire Checking, clarifying what restaurant it was. He sends another message, realizing he was at the correct chain restaurant but in the wrong town. He was a 15 minute drive away. I grabbed a table and a drink and waited until he made it it to the restaurant. We've now been together almost two years and I still tease him about it. That's not a shoot.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, that's not a shoot, dude. That's just a sweet story.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
The shoot dude would be on the other person's side.
Garrett
The other person. Yeah.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, that's not a shoot, dude. That's just. Congratulations. Yeah, congratulations.
Shane Topped
And that happens to everyone in la, like every week.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, I, I have literally. I literally one time, I think it was the wrap. Like we were just having a dinner for so random. And it was just kind of like a celebratory dinner at Benihana. And so I show up to the Benihana in a different way, different part of town. Like, I'm an hour away and they're like, yeah, we're about to start eating here. And I was just like, yeah. And I drove and I managed to like drive all the way across LA and get there before some other people because people just show up so late. But yeah, that's happened to me before for not as cool of a reason. It didn't have as happy of an ending.
Shane Topped
Yeah. It didn't end with a relationship.
Courtney Miller
Yeah. Yeah. You're trying to submit a shoe, dude, and you're happy. Can't have a shoe, dude. You're happy.
Shane Topped
You won in that scenario. You were the. You were the top dog. You were at the correct.
Courtney Miller
That's a congrats, dude.
Shane Topped
That's a congrats, buddy.
Garrett
But even the other guy ended up happy.
Shane Topped
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
They both ended up having tough.
Shane Topped
Not a shoot.
Courtney Miller
That was 15 minutes. That was 15 minutes.
Garrett
You had to wait for 15 minutes. Not bad.
Shane Topped
That is scary. Like, almost thinking you're getting catfished, though.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
That has to be friends of mine.
Shane Topped
That fear, like, where I have a friend from who's a. Who's a YouTuber who was doing Tinder or whatever and like someone got in the car that was just not. And they were just quiet and didn't and didn't acknowledge it. And he was like, okay, okay, I guess we're just gonna do this date.
Courtney Miller
I'm fascinated by catfish.
Garrett
I know.
Courtney Miller
I'm fascinated by it. I don't understand it. I'm fascinated.
Shane Topped
Have you guys ever had an experience somewhat close to this or, like having an almost catfishing or ghosting date or have you.
Courtney Miller
The only thing that I think of is I just. I have shown up so early.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
I just show up so early to shit. I just. Yeah.
Garrett
I think I've had a date tell me halfway through that they were going to ghost me after. I don't know if that even counts as ghost.
Shane Topped
Like, what. They were. They had already met you and were like, yeah, I'm going to ghost you.
Garrett
Yeah, she. Well, what she said was, look, I. I usually will ghost if I don't think it's working, but you're. You seem like a nice guy, so I'm going to tell you right now, I'm going to ghost you after this.
Courtney Miller
This.
Garrett
I was like, okay, do you want another beer?
Courtney Miller
A.
Garrett
I mean, I. It was. It was like. I don't. It was a ridiculous. She was a lawyer. I was cat sitting. Like, I had no money. I was just like, cat sitting.
Courtney Miller
Just.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
That's just a weird way of saying it.
Garrett
I know, I know.
Courtney Miller
She could have just said, oh, I'm not interested in this going so.
Shane Topped
But she was sticking around.
Courtney Miller
It's a weird thing to say. Like, I'm going, catfish.
Garrett
I think we split. I think we split it also.
Courtney Miller
That's not ghosting.
Garrett
I know, I know.
Courtney Miller
That's not technically ghosting. She goes, hey, I'm letting you know that I'm gonna stop talking to you. No. Then you're saying, I'm gonna stop talking to you.
Garrett
Yeah.
Courtney Miller
Ghosting is not.
Shane Topped
Did she use the term ghost?
Garrett
She did. She did.
Courtney Miller
That's a. That's a weird individual. I know, but, I mean, that's a strange person.
Shane Topped
I object.
Garrett
Yes. Well, she was a lawyer.
Shane Topped
Yeah. As I say, I object, but, I.
Garrett
Mean, we had a weird poet in common that we liked on our Tinder profiles, so we.
Courtney Miller
Okay.
Garrett
Yeah.
Shane Topped
It was, like a good time. At least. Did that. Did that leave.
Garrett
It was a good conversation with you.
Shane Topped
Or did it make it?
Garrett
Yeah, well, because, like, at the start, I was like, oh, no, she's not gonna be into me. She's, like, successful, and I'm a cat sitter. Kevin's given the.
Shane Topped
I don't want to end it. I like talking to them. You gotta end it.
Garrett
You got to say goodbye.
Courtney Miller
Courtney. Courtney, it's time.
Garrett
I. I want to keep talking, too.
Shane Topped
I want to keep talking to my boys. Fine. If you have a shoot dude that you would like to submit that's better than this one, we have an email that is shoot dude, smosh dot com. That is S-H-O-O-T d o o d smosh dot com if you don't know how to smell smosh, smell smosh.
Courtney Miller
That's right.
Shane Topped
Congrats on your relationship and subscribe. Garrett, thanks for coming on this podcast.
Garrett
Thanks for having me.
Shane Topped
Yeah, it's really fun to get people from behind, behind the scenes and somewhat. A little bit in front of the scene.
Courtney Miller
Yeah, a little bit.
Garrett
Yeah. And I'm glad I got to clear up some assumptions.
Courtney Miller
Exactly. Garrett is our true wild card. There's still too much mystery about him.
Garrett
Thank you. Thank.
Courtney Miller
Please keep assuming everything about Garrett.
Shane Topped
Always stay assuming.
Courtney Miller
Yeah.
Shane Topped
Guys, we have podcasts to come out every week. On Wednesdays the audio comes out if you want to listen to us while you're doing dishes or just walking around outside not knowing where you're going. And on Fridays we have the video version where you get to see our lovely outfit fits and our cute hair and just us looking at each other uncomfortably. That's the video version comes out Every Friday on YouTube on our Smoshcast channel. Subscribe or I will hit you if you guys want to be a part of these questions and or assumption submissions or things like that. Surveys we take all the time. Follow us on social media. We do it on Instagram, we do it on Twitter. And if you don't want to miss them, I would turn on the notifications because sometimes I think we pick a lot of the. The first ones we see or things like that that. So make sure you're involved because we we really love interacting with you guys and we love seeing more and more people doing that.
Courtney Miller
Right.
Shane Topped
Anything you want to shout out, Garrett?
Garrett
Yeah, no.
Shane Topped
You don't have an album coming out?
Garrett
No. Kombucha tape. Kombucha tape. I'm working on the new land of Kombuchas. No, I don't have anything going on. New edit or edits coming up. They're gonna be coming out if anybody want to read wants to read my pilot. I've written you during quarantine.
Courtney Miller
Oh, that's great.
Garrett
Yeah, thank you.
Courtney Miller
Well, that's a good note to end it on.
Shane Topped
I love you guys.
Courtney Miller
Love you guys. Bye.
Garrett
Bye.
Ryan Seacrest
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Podcast Summary: Smosh Mouth – S2: #87 - The Truth About Eat It or Yeet It
Episode Details:
The episode begins with Shane reflecting on how quarantine has brought the crew closer together. He shares his initial reluctance to host the "Eat It or Yeet It" segment but has since grown to enjoy his role.
A significant portion of the discussion revolves around Garrett's mysterious persona and the fan-submitted assumptions about him. The hosts delve into Garrett’s diverse background, including his time on Wall Street and extensive travel.
The hosts discuss the origins and evolution of the "Eat It or Yeet It" show. Garrett explains his role in selecting and preparing the dishes, emphasizing the importance of testing foods before they appear on the show.
The conversation shifts to the hosts' personal food dislikes and challenges associated with "Eat It or Yeet It." They share memorable moments, such as Courtney’s struggle with peanut butter cups filled with Cambodian fish paste and Shane’s aversion to certain foods.
Garrett reveals his passion for traveling, having visited over 26 countries. He shares his favorite destinations, including Iceland and Lebanon, highlighting his love for diverse cultures and cuisines.
The hosts discuss societal perceptions of age, especially in the context of social media. They reflect on how interacting with younger generations keeps them feeling younger and more connected.
The episode highlights the open-minded and youthful spirit of the Smosh team. They discuss their activities outside of work, such as rock climbing and hiking, which contribute to their strong camaraderie.
Towards the end, the hosts brainstorm potential ideas for future "Eat It or Yeet It" episodes, encouraging listeners to submit their suggestions. They emphasize the importance of audience interaction in shaping their content.
Garrett shares behind-the-scenes anecdotes, including his initial experiences on Smosh, the transition from PA to Production Manager, and his attempts at brewing kombucha.
The episode concludes with the hosts expressing their appreciation for Garrett’s contributions and teasing topics for future podcasts, such as life in Los Angeles and the challenges of making friends in a big city.
In this engaging episode of Smosh Mouth, the crew delves deep into Garrett’s enigmatic persona, their creative processes behind "Eat It or Yeet It," and personal anecdotes that highlight their bond and individual personalities. The discussion offers fans a behind-the-scenes look at the dynamics of the Smosh team, their interactions during challenging times, and their continuous effort to create entertaining content. With a blend of humor, heartfelt moments, and insightful conversations, this episode serves as a comprehensive insight into the workings and camaraderie of the Smosh crew.