S2: #87 - The Truth About Eat It or Yeet It

Summary

Podcast Summary: Smosh Mouth – S2: #87 - The Truth About Eat It or Yeet It

Episode Details:

• Title: S2: #87 - The Truth About Eat It or Yeet It
• Release Date: November 4, 2020
• Hosts: Shayne Topp (Shane), Amanda Lehan-Canto (Courtney), and Garrett

---

1. Strengthening Crew Bonds During Quarantine

The episode begins with Shane reflecting on how quarantine has brought the crew closer together. He shares his initial reluctance to host the "Eat It or Yeet It" segment but has since grown to enjoy his role.

• Shane (00:33): "I weirdly feel like I've gotten a lot closer with our crew realizing during quarantine."

2. Garrett's Background and Inside Jokes

A significant portion of the discussion revolves around Garrett's mysterious persona and the fan-submitted assumptions about him. The hosts delve into Garrett’s diverse background, including his time on Wall Street and extensive travel.

• Courtney (01:11): "My assumption of Garrett is that he also occupied Wall Street."
• Garrett (13:12): "I was an assistant to a head hedge fund manager for a large family."

3. The "Eat It or Yeet It" Show Dynamics

The hosts discuss the origins and evolution of the "Eat It or Yeet It" show. Garrett explains his role in selecting and preparing the dishes, emphasizing the importance of testing foods before they appear on the show.

• Garrett (05:53): "I choose most of the dishes that go in. I create a lot of them, not all of them, and I cook the majority of them."
• Courtney (05:58): "But I think it's important to remember, like, you have to test taste a lot of the foods before they're out there."

4. Personal Food Preferences and Challenges

The conversation shifts to the hosts' personal food dislikes and challenges associated with "Eat It or Yeet It." They share memorable moments, such as Courtney’s struggle with peanut butter cups filled with Cambodian fish paste and Shane’s aversion to certain foods.

• Courtney (25:14): "My worst experience on that show is still the peanut butter cups filled with Cambodian fish paste."
• Shane (06:29): "I have a really weird thing with food. Like, I... I hate tasting bad foods."

5. Garrett's Extensive Travel Experiences

Garrett reveals his passion for traveling, having visited over 26 countries. He shares his favorite destinations, including Iceland and Lebanon, highlighting his love for diverse cultures and cuisines.

• Garrett (14:03): "I think last I counted, it was like, 26 or 27."
• Courtney (15:03): "It's very cool."

6. Social Media and Age Perceptions

The hosts discuss societal perceptions of age, especially in the context of social media. They reflect on how interacting with younger generations keeps them feeling younger and more connected.

• Shane (35:10): "I really, truly believe that in this modern age, 30 is the new 20."
• Courtney (37:09): "I think in that sense because, you know, like my grandparents who were just from such a different generation."

7. Team Dynamics and Work Environment

The episode highlights the open-minded and youthful spirit of the Smosh team. They discuss their activities outside of work, such as rock climbing and hiking, which contribute to their strong camaraderie.

• Courtney (42:17): "We're a group of very open-minded people."
• Shane (41:39): "Our group just naturally seems to be all kind of young-hearted."

8. Future Content Ideas and Audience Engagement

Towards the end, the hosts brainstorm potential ideas for future "Eat It or Yeet It" episodes, encouraging listeners to submit their suggestions. They emphasize the importance of audience interaction in shaping their content.

• Courtney (61:03): "Please comment down, like, beneath our video. Eat it or eat it Comment ideas."
• Shane (61:38): "Mocktails. I'm down."

9. Memorable Moments and Behind-the-Scenes Insights

Garrett shares behind-the-scenes anecdotes, including his initial experiences on Smosh, the transition from PA to Production Manager, and his attempts at brewing kombucha.

• Garrett (40:27): "I got canceled in that hallway."
• Courtney (56:48): "You have at least attempted to brew your own beer at some point?"

10. Closing Thoughts and Future Episodes

The episode concludes with the hosts expressing their appreciation for Garrett’s contributions and teasing topics for future podcasts, such as life in Los Angeles and the challenges of making friends in a big city.

• Shane (43:10): "Same here. Being alone in LA is tough."
• Courtney (43:14): "That’s next week’s podcast."

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Shane (00:33): "I weirdly feel like I've gotten a lot closer with our crew realizing during quarantine."
• Courtney (05:58): "But I think it's important to remember, like, you have to test taste a lot of the foods before they're out there."
• Shane (35:10): "I really, truly believe that in this modern age, 30 is the new 20."
• Garrett (14:03): "I think last I counted, it was like, 26 or 27."
• Courtney (61:03): "Please comment down, like, beneath our video. Eat it or eat it Comment ideas."

---

Conclusion:

In this engaging episode of Smosh Mouth, the crew delves deep into Garrett’s enigmatic persona, their creative processes behind "Eat It or Yeet It," and personal anecdotes that highlight their bond and individual personalities. The discussion offers fans a behind-the-scenes look at the dynamics of the Smosh team, their interactions during challenging times, and their continuous effort to create entertaining content. With a blend of humor, heartfelt moments, and insightful conversations, this episode serves as a comprehensive insight into the workings and camaraderie of the Smosh crew.

Transcript

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[Shane Topped]

I weirdly feel like I've gotten a lot closer with our crew realizing during quarantine, like, oh shit, I've been neglecting this.

[Courtney Miller]

My worst experience on that show is still the peanut butter cups filled with Cambodian fish paste.

[Garrett]

Yes.

[Courtney Miller]

And of course everyone was like, oh, you're just gonna take one, take three. And oh my God.

[Garrett]

I remember like one time, you know, writing about like somebody down the hall in my dorm having the most annoying laug. He read it. That was like the first time that I realized like, oh, this is.

[Courtney Miller]

You got cancelled.

[Garrett]

I got canceled in that hallway. You got cancelled.

[Courtney Miller]

I have one more assumption of Garrett. We know Garrett worked on Wall Street. My assumption of Garrett is that he also occupied Wall Street.

[Shane Topped]

Is it going. Hi, Tis. I. It's Courtney. Hi, it's Courtney. Hi, it's Courtney. It's Courtney. It's Courtney. It is me. I am Courtney. Hi, it's me.

[Garrett]

I don't think that's Courtney.

[Courtney Miller]

I don't think that's Courtney either.

[Shane Topped]

It's me. You guys both. You guys both look like you're from Portland. Do I?

[Garrett]

Yeah, actually, yeah. No, with the cardigan. The oversized cardigan is this good ASMR sweater sleeve.

[Courtney Miller]

This is definitely an Oregon.

[Shane Topped]

Didn't you buy that?

[Courtney Miller]

I got this at. I got. No, I got this at flea market. Melrose Flea market. Oh, this is like. It's like my favorite shirt.

[Shane Topped]

Doesn't it have a tag on there?

[Courtney Miller]

It just says made by. Made by Susan. It's not even a company. It's just handmade from the 90s.

[Garrett]

I want that shirt.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Garrett]

Okay, give me.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay, give me that shirt.

[Garrett]

Give me that shirt.

[Courtney Miller]

Give me that.

[Shane Topped]

I used to be declared like, people used to call me a hipster in high school before I even consider. I couldn't consider myself because I always. I always found music that nobody listened to and like, my style wasn't hipster, but it was like kind of weird. And I had like A weird old car. So they were like, you're a hipster. And I was like, what? No, I'm not.

[Courtney Miller]

I think everyone's a hipster about something. Yeah, everyone has something that they love so much that they know about stuff that nobody knows about.

[Shane Topped]

Well, I think.

[Garrett]

I think being a hipster is just being passionate about something.

[Shane Topped]

That's the same with a nerd. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Garrett]

I love hipsters who make coffee or food.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah, coffee nerd. Okay.

[Courtney Miller]

Hipster is literally a coffee music nerd. Like, that's all that is kind of.

[Shane Topped]

Nerd about a different type of aesthetic or different things. That's cool. I never really thought about it that way, but yeah. Oh. Anyway, I'm just gonna intro this podcast now. That was really insightful, guys.

[Courtney Miller]

Thank you. That was hipster cast.

[Garrett]

Yeah. Why Hipsters are great.

[Shane Topped]

Why hipsters are Great. So welcome to another episode of the Smoshcast. Tis I the host of this episode, Corny. I'm here today with Shane Topped, and none other than the mastermind behind the foods of eatery himself, Garrett. Why am I blanking on your last name?

[Garrett]

Garrett?

[Shane Topped]

Paul Garrett Milkbean Palm.

[Garrett]

I'm not Milk Bean. You're Milk. No, that's not a name for me.

[Courtney Miller]

I was not there.

[Shane Topped]

Just a little office inside joke for you.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. So just because you guys are as filled in on this as I am, I went on vacation. I think this was 2019. I went on vacation. I. I returned and all I heard suddenly who were talking about Milk Bean. And I was like, what? What is it? There was a. We had an entire Slack channel dedicated to it. It was referenced constantly. People were fed up by. People either hated Milk Bean or they loved Milk Bean. Yeah, I don't know what it is. I still don't know what it is.

[Shane Topped]

Was. It was someone. Someone hopped onto your computer, did Monica.

[Garrett]

Monica.

[Shane Topped]

And she changed your name and profile picture to Milk Bean. Right? Or something.

[Garrett]

Yes. Like every one of Monica and my bits. It was very divisive. People. A lot of people hated it. Some people loved it.

[Shane Topped]

Everyone. Then everyone. Because everyone was like, haha, wait, your name's. Who's Milk Bean? Your Milk Bean. Then everybody started changing their name to Milk Bean.

[Garrett]

Somebody even made a pottery Milk Bean.

[Shane Topped]

A milk. And then they made it like a little emote in the slack for Milk.

[Garrett]

We.

[Courtney Miller]

We don't mess around with our inside jokes at the office. I will say I feel like most inside jokes are most like pranks like that are led by Monica.

[Garrett]

Yeah, I agree. Because I mean, essentially it's like, what is milk bean?

[Courtney Miller]

It's nothing.

[Garrett]

It's nothing.

[Courtney Miller]

It is truly nothing.

[Garrett]

Exactly. And really all it is is just like calling somebody a nothing name and that person.

[Shane Topped]

We should put milk bean. We should put milk bean in the show and eat it. Or eat it.

[Garrett]

No.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, you should make a milk bean that actually. Milk beans would be a very.

[Shane Topped]

That's disgusting.

[Courtney Miller]

You know what? You should do that.

[Shane Topped]

But speaking of the show, you guys, I mean, Shane kind of birthed the idea of eat it or eat it. And then Garrett kind of took on the responsibility of taking care of and curating and cooking a lot of the dishes.

[Courtney Miller]

You're the head lead producer on it.

[Garrett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It used to be Finnerkey.

[Courtney Miller]

Finnerkey, Finnerkey.

[Garrett]

Monica Finnerty. And Monica and I used to kind of collaborate and make the dishes. Now it's Sarah and I. I choose most of the dishes that go in. I create a lot of them, not all of them, and I cook the majority of them.

[Courtney Miller]

And, you know, obviously, we have the Garrett Cam on Eat it or Eat it. Where you can see Garrett's reaction.

[Shane Topped]

But I don't want.

[Courtney Miller]

But I think it's important to remember, like, you have to test taste a lot of the foods before they're out there. So you've already been punished before the show starts.

[Shane Topped]

True.

[Garrett]

Yeah. I don't eat them all right now.

[Shane Topped]

Has Sarah. Sarah will like.

[Courtney Miller]

Well, there's probably a lot. There's prob.

[Garrett]

Tries all of them. Yeah.

[Shane Topped]

Which makes sense.

[Garrett]

Yeah. And it's not. Sometimes Lisa joins in. Oh, wow. Sometimes Lisa eats.

[Courtney Miller]

Wow, that's crazy.

[Shane Topped]

It seems like a fun experience.

[Garrett]

Do you want to. You want to join?

[Courtney Miller]

No, I would never want to.

[Shane Topped]

I have a really weird thing with food. Like, I. I hate tasting bad foods. I will try something that's super spicy, like we have in the past. But, like, I just have a weird thing with, like, it will kill my appetite for several hours.

[Courtney Miller]

I think everybody has things that they're just like. That's the thing that, like, it's impossible for me to be in a good mood and be entertaining while I do that thing. And I think that's okay. You know, One I realized was, for me, a couple years ago, we did a thing on Smosh games where Damien and I wore, like, dog shock collars.

[Garrett]

Oh, my God. Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

And I remember going in being like, this will be fine, and they had on the lowest settings, and I got shocked, and I was just like, I can't. I can't do this. I was like, this is not for me. I can't find this funny. Like, there's a lot of things that I will do that I'm like, yeah, I'll do that. I'll eat gross foods. Like, I can. I can get through that. That was one of those things I was like, w. Electricity. Can't do it. Cannot do it. It's just not fun. And that's all right. Everybody has, like, a thing. Literally. Literally everybody has a thing that they're like, I'm not.

[Shane Topped]

They have a line like a. Somewhere.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. And it's different for everybody, and that works out. So we can kind of mix and match, like, like, with eat or eat it. Like, you host it. Like that. That's worked out very well.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah, I. I. Well, because I originally opted out. I. Actually. My plan wasn't even to host it, because when you guys were first coming up with the idea, it was really cool. You guys would, like, sit in the office for hours and just try and, like, you knew you had the bare bones of a good idea. That was originally you. That was called Face Jam. I feel like we've talked about it before, but then you guys spent so much time just like, okay, this will work, but we just need to figure out exactly how it will go. And in the beginning, like, when you guys talked about, like, it'll be where you have to jam the entire food in your face as quickly as you could.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Shane Topped]

And, like, my instinct was like, oh, that's gonna get, like, if I do that. Like, there's so many creeps and weirdos on the Internet. They're gonna, like, for sure.

[Courtney Miller]

Capitalize on that for sure.

[Shane Topped]

So I was just like, no, I just. I don't want do it. Like, I'm just not gonna do foodstuff. And then next thing I knew, when they were planning the shoots, like, okay, so, yeah, she's hosting. And I was like, what? Oh, okay. It has been really fun. This is my first time, like, hosting something by myself, because before that, it was one nature show or sleepover. And it's like. It's kind of. It's not so much like, hosting where, like, I'm the main person talking, because it's definitely, like, it's very much focused on you guys trying the dishes.

[Courtney Miller]

But I will say, I would I on eat it or yeet it. I would prefer to be in the position I'm in than yours, because you have to kind of hold the yeet Bucke sometimes. And that.

[Shane Topped]

That's my.

[Courtney Miller]

That's awful. Like, that. I can't Handle.

[Shane Topped]

Oh, my God.

[Courtney Miller]

Because especially if Keith is on.

[Garrett]

Keith. Keith.

[Shane Topped]

Especially in the beginning.

[Courtney Miller]

Keith lets it go, man.

[Garrett]

He will.

[Courtney Miller]

He will. Yeet.

[Garrett]

He will. Yeah, he's.

[Shane Topped]

It's rough.

[Garrett]

He's one of my favorite people to have on.

[Courtney Miller]

He. He's a. He's a true showman.

[Shane Topped]

He's a go getter.

[Courtney Miller]

Yes. Keith will always bring 100% energy, but.

[Shane Topped]

Let'S put the attention back on Garrett. Guys, so the whole reason for this podcast is to talk about eat it or eat it, of course. But with Garrett here, we put on our Instagram story. I don't know if we put anywhere else, but we put a thing to submit assumptions about Garrett because we think it's time for you guys to get to know him a little bit more. You got to see him do, like, a weird orbeez joke on the try not to laugh crew gauntlet.

[Courtney Miller]

So good.

[Shane Topped]

That one. I lost it. That one was really funny. But yeah. So we have a bunch of fans submitted. What? What?

[Garrett]

I also played the guy hunting down Horny Boys.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah. Horny Boys. You have been in Smash content quite a bit.

[Courtney Miller]

You were in. You were the principal in every substitute ever.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

You played the Princip, and you were.

[Shane Topped]

A teacher in my E Boy sketch.

[Courtney Miller]

You've been all over the place.

[Garrett]

Just here and there.

[Courtney Miller]

You've been all over the place.

[Garrett]

Here and there. But.

[Courtney Miller]

But I will say. I do want to say my. My brother, who watches all Smosh content, he watches Smosh games, watch Smosh Pit, watches Smosh Sketch channel, he lists the podcast, everything. His absolute favorite thing is the Garrick. It's his favorite thing on all of Smash.

[Shane Topped]

More than his own brother.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. Well, that's not surprising.

[Garrett]

I mean, it's just. It's kind of ripped from a Japanese television where they just have people watching.

[Courtney Miller]

Sure.

[Shane Topped]

That's right.

[Garrett]

Or, like, entertaining.

[Courtney Miller]

Or like Terrace House.

[Garrett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

[Courtney Miller]

But imagine Terrace House. It was just. They cut back to one guy, and he just didn't say anything. He was just like, wow.

[Shane Topped]

So you guys submitted a ton of your own assumptions about Garrett, which we will now be reading off and either confirming or denying and just talking about this stuff. Are you ready, Garrett?

[Courtney Miller]

People assume about you.

[Garrett]

I know. This is what I'm curious.

[Courtney Miller]

You've been a man of mystery. But no, no longer.

[Shane Topped]

I like this topic. Assumptions about people bear it all. It's gonna be great. All right, first assumption. He doesn't wear shoes.

[Garrett]

I do wear shoes.

[Shane Topped]

You wear shoes. What shoes are you wearing right now?

[Courtney Miller]

You actually wear really Cool shoes.

[Garrett]

Thank you.

[Courtney Miller]

You wear really, like, unique shoes.

[Garrett]

Prove it. Prove it for the podcast.

[Shane Topped]

Okay, well, I'm not the YouTube version.

[Garrett]

I figured this was just a podcast and I didn't wear my cool shoes today. I just wore.

[Shane Topped]

Those are cool.

[Courtney Miller]

I like those a lot. See, you always wear so poor. Garrett has, like, an REI aesthetic.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, you. You dress like. Like, you could go hiking at any time.

[Shane Topped]

You're. You're like, if Zach Galifianakis fell into an rei.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Shane Topped]

I mean that in the best way.

[Courtney Miller]

And gained. And gained some height.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Nature will do that to you.

[Garrett]

These are tavas.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay. Yeah, yeah. So literally, like, the sandals, they almost.

[Shane Topped]

Look like hiking shoes with, like, a brown accent on them, and they're really nice.

[Courtney Miller]

But you do always have, like, a. An outdoorsy aesthetic.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Even when it's, like, really hot out in the middle of summer, you're still wearing, like, a button up long sleeve. I'm like, how do you do it, man?

[Garrett]

Well, I used. I used to work on Wall street, and there I would even come to work dressed in, like, Patagonia and, like, wow. Like, I was about to hike. But it was aspirational because I didn't want to be there. I wanted to. Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

I can't imagine you on Wall Street. You are the most Wall street person I've ever known. Just like, all these, like, business sharks in suits, and all of a sudden, Garrett's there. Like, just like. Yeah, I don't. I don't know. I guess I'll invest in this.

[Garrett]

Oh, I wasn't doing that. No.

[Courtney Miller]

What was? I actually just really sorry. Like, you're on Wall Street. Like, what. What exactly.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah. What was your job?

[Courtney Miller]

I don't know anything about. Wall Street's one of those things that I pretend to know about. I don't know crap about stocks or business. That side of business I don't know anything about.

[Garrett]

I was. I was an assistant to a head hedge fund manager for a large family. So it was like a family money. And I just did research on the hedge funds and all the other funds we were invested in. The lot of places don't want to want you to find out what they're investing in. So they file. But they have to file it. So they file it under, like, different names. So a lot of it was, like finding out that making reports for the rest of the company.

[Shane Topped]

So fake.

[Garrett]

Yeah, so fake.

[Courtney Miller]

It's so weird.

[Garrett]

Everybody lies.

[Courtney Miller]

I.

[Shane Topped]

What an interesting job. How did you get here?

[Garrett]

How did I get here?

[Courtney Miller]

Did wait, like, was There a bunch of connection dots from there to here. Like, you were at some point in New York on Wall Street.

[Garrett]

Yes.

[Courtney Miller]

Working there.

[Garrett]

Yes.

[Courtney Miller]

And now you're working at Smosh, doing the. Garrett, like that. You didn't hop from that to this, right?

[Garrett]

I did not. Okay.

[Shane Topped]

How old were you in Wall Street? Like, where does that start?

[Garrett]

That was in my late 20s.

[Courtney Miller]

And I also want to say this for people may not know. Garrett at some point has mentioned having been in every country I've ever heard of. Gary will have a story be like, yeah, that reminds me of the time where I was in Japan. Or like, there was something where you're like, yeah, that reminds me of the time that I was in. I think you were saying, some African country. I was like, what the hell? Like, you've been everywhere.

[Garrett]

I really. I. I hate talking about it. I don't know. Well, because I hate talking about how cool. No, because I'm always like, oh, I don't want to be that guy that, like, just talks about his travels all the time.

[Courtney Miller]

Well, you don't. Nobody literally knows anything about it.

[Garrett]

Okay.

[Courtney Miller]

These are, like, over the course of several years, I've heard a couple of these stories, but every time I hear it, you say, like, very briefly, like, yeah, that's like, when I was in Japan, I was like, oh, you were. Okay. Like, you were also there at some point. Like that.

[Shane Topped]

How many countries have you been to?

[Garrett]

I think last I counted, it was like, 26 or 27.

[Courtney Miller]

Dude.

[Shane Topped]

Insane.

[Garrett]

There are 194 or five, six.

[Courtney Miller]

I mean, there's a lot, but.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

So is this a thing where, like, every year you go on a trip or were there periods of your life where you were traveling all over the world?

[Garrett]

Both. I. I had two stretches where I would travel for a year. Ish. And then for a long stretch, I made it a goal to go to a new country every year.

[Courtney Miller]

That's cool.

[Shane Topped]

That's so cool.

[Garrett]

Yeah, it was great.

[Courtney Miller]

That's great.

[Garrett]

I eventually broke that because I was, like, going to go to a country just to, like, check a box. I was like, okay.

[Shane Topped]

It's just crazy. Like, that's.

[Garrett]

No.

[Shane Topped]

Like, the majority of people will never be able to say that in their lifetime.

[Courtney Miller]

It's very cool. What. What would be your favorite country you've ever visited?

[Garrett]

I can give you a few.

[Courtney Miller]

That's fine. Just like, what are just some that come to mind?

[Garrett]

Iceland.

[Courtney Miller]

I love Iceland.

[Garrett]

I've heard it a few times. And I just love the lifestyle.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Garrett]

Of just soaking and then cool.

[Courtney Miller]

It's just the chillest. Literally the chillest place.

[Garrett]

I loved Lebanon.

[Courtney Miller]

Lebanon.

[Garrett]

Lebanon was great.

[Shane Topped]

That's a small country.

[Garrett]

Yeah, it's just Africa.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay.

[Garrett]

Cool.

[Courtney Miller]

Middle East. Yeah. I've heard the food.

[Shane Topped]

I'm very bad at yoga.

[Courtney Miller]

Legendary. That's okay.

[Garrett]

Food was incredible. It was one of the. I really. One of the main things I care.

[Shane Topped]

About is food, which is great, considering you're the either ye. Master. Shall I move on to another assumption? That's okay. All right, the next one. He smells of timberwood or like a cold burger.

[Garrett]

Timberwood.

[Shane Topped]

Do you wear cologne?

[Garrett]

No, but I used to. Like ax. No, No.

[Courtney Miller]

I used to take pine needles and just kind of rub them over his body, actually.

[Garrett]

Yes.

[Courtney Miller]

Really?

[Garrett]

Yes.

[Courtney Miller]

That. Actually, I feel like that would work.

[Garrett]

Yes. Well, what I would do is I, I, I lived in LA before a while ago, and I was single, so before, on dates. Then they. I'd go to the neighbor's house, pick some lavender and rub it.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, that actually.

[Shane Topped]

You sound so cute.

[Garrett]

That actually works.

[Courtney Miller]

That totally works.

[Shane Topped]

It makes sense.

[Garrett]

Yeah. But I don't eliminate the middleman because I don't eat.

[Courtney Miller]

I will say I, I. I've said it before, and I'll say it again, everyone, it's. Nobody smells bad at Smosh.

[Shane Topped]

No.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Shane Topped]

There. The smell. Incredible. Or like, there's no smell.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I have a bad sense of smell, so I can't. I usually can't tell if someone smells, like, good unless they're wearing a ton of cologne, which is probably a bad thing at that point, but I don't. I've never felt at any point being like, oh, someone smells bad here. Everyone, it's fine.

[Shane Topped]

I have a very keen sense of smell. And. Yeah, I've never noticed a scent from you. I don't, like, go out of my way to smell people, but, like, there are people I can pick out the, like, Like, Keith smells really good. Shane, your cologne smells really good. Olivia will wear nice perfumes sometimes, but that's also.

[Courtney Miller]

We're. We're constantly, like, right next to each other, so.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah. All right, Next one. He got a cool dog because he is a cool guy.

[Courtney Miller]

Do you have one dog? Do you have two dogs?

[Garrett]

I have one dog.

[Courtney Miller]

You have one dog.

[Garrett]

My housemates have another dog.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay.

[Shane Topped]

And you got him during quarantine?

[Garrett]

I did. In June.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah.

[Garrett]

We were putting it off. Putting it off then because, you know, we were like, oh, quarantine's only gonna be two weeks.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah.

[Garrett]

Oh, quarantine's only going to be a month.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah.

[Garrett]

Oh, quarantine's only going to be six weeks. And then, like, it was just so hard to find a dog in la. Really? Yeah. They were all adopted already.

[Courtney Miller]

Well, that's. Well, that's a lot of people.

[Garrett]

Exactly.

[Courtney Miller]

That's a good thing to be out of stock on.

[Garrett]

I know.

[Courtney Miller]

Your dog is both. Your dog is two years old.

[Garrett]

One to two.

[Courtney Miller]

Well, your dog is two years old, but is 50 years old.

[Garrett]

Looks like an old man.

[Courtney Miller]

So great.

[Garrett]

I know.

[Courtney Miller]

I. That's the perfect dog. I would love a dog like that because I love old dogs.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

And so to have an old dog for 15 years, that's a great deal.

[Garrett]

I love him so much. I miss him right now.

[Courtney Miller]

I wish I could get a dog. I just. My place is so small. It's hard.

[Garrett]

If I wasn't.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Garrett]

You know. You know, I'm dating somebody, and so we split the dog. And it's totally.

[Courtney Miller]

Totally.

[Shane Topped]

It's. It's. I think it's much easier with dogs when there's two people helping out. But, you know, I've done the single dog mom life. It's not impossible.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Courtney Miller]

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[Shane Topped]

Okay, I'm gonna. I'm gonna move a jerk at the first meeting, then lovable Care Bear, once you know him. What was your first impression of Garrett?

[Courtney Miller]

I don't think Garrett's ever. Garrett's definitely never a jerk.

[Shane Topped]

Everybody gets stressed out. Everybody. Yeah, everybody has their moments of tension. But, like, I just remember you're very quiet at first.

[Garrett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Shane Topped]

But.

[Courtney Miller]

Well, that's normal.

[Garrett]

I feel like people either come in at a 0 or 100 when you first meet them. I'm usually at a 0, so I feel like I'm the opposite. I'm nice at first, but then I'd be.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, it's tough. It's tough to remember. I don't remember our first meeting because I think back at Defy, things were just so chaotic and there was a lot of people coming in and out.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Shane Topped]

The way it usually goes. Sorry. I don't mean to.

[Garrett]

No, no, no.

[Shane Topped]

The. Where we were at Defy. You just kind of started seeing new faces one day.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, it's. You didn't get introductions. You would just be like, here, you're filming, and, oh, there's a new sound guy. Like, you're just kind of like that. And you. You'd get to know everyone. Like, it was always good, but. But it was so constant there.

[Shane Topped]

You worked your way up.

[Garrett]

Yeah. My first job with Smosh, I was a PA On Business Boy. I think it was Business Boy.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, wow. That's forever.

[Garrett]

Yeah. At the mansion in Malibu, where it was, like, Noah and then a guy with, like, a big. I think Anthony was wearing, like, a big business emoji.

[Shane Topped]

I remember that.

[Courtney Miller]

I can't remember that sketch. I wasn't. I wasn't there for that. I wasn't there. I was.

[Shane Topped]

I remember that sketch.

[Courtney Miller]

So, man, back when we would do sketches around emojis.

[Shane Topped]

Yes.

[Courtney Miller]

That was.

[Shane Topped]

Oh, yeah, those were a lot of them.

[Courtney Miller]

Sexual Sun, Molester moon. Yeah. Boy, we different. Different angles back then on sketches.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Shane Topped]

And for the viewers or the people listening, what is your position now?

[Garrett]

Production manager.

[Shane Topped]

Hey, you went to PA to pm.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Nice.

[Garrett]

I was Pam.

[Shane Topped]

Nice.

[Courtney Miller]

Nice. That's awesome. But you held on to that pee.

[Garrett]

I never let go of that pee.

[Courtney Miller]

Never. Never let the pee. Anyway.

[Shane Topped]

Yes.

[Courtney Miller]

Next one.

[Shane Topped]

So next assumption. He actually secretly loves to see everyone suffer on Eat it or Eat It.

[Courtney Miller]

Is that a secret?

[Shane Topped]

I don't think it's a secret.

[Courtney Miller]

I think you're pretty open about enjoying.

[Shane Topped]

Our suffering and not just on Eat it or Eat it. The spicy chocolates. Remember that? Was that you. Was that you're making? Remember when we had those spicy chocolates and we didn't realize how. Just how spicy they were?

[Garrett]

That was me.

[Courtney Miller]

That was Garrett.

[Garrett]

Yes.

[Shane Topped]

So guilty or innocent?

[Courtney Miller]

That was Spicy Mario party.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. Oh, man. Garrett struck.

[Garrett]

Look, I. I. It. It's. It. I love it up until a point, and then it just drops immediately.

[Shane Topped]

Because of our attacking you?

[Garrett]

No, no, because of the. When it becomes like, oh, this is legitimate pain.

[Courtney Miller]

Well, that's probably like when. When Olivia had the malic acid peanuts.

[Garrett]

That was fine. That's not legitimate pain.

[Courtney Miller]

True.

[Garrett]

No, it probably is. For me, the thing that crossed the line that I felt really bad about was Jackie eating the bug mud.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, yeah. Well, Jackie, she's new still. Yeah. So in our newer, ish iteration, where we have the wheel, which I love because there's an option to not have to eat anything, but Jackie got absolutely ruined she got three.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

And they were all bad. And she had to eat full bugs.

[Garrett]

Yes. That was. I mean, I don't know, but that was. I think she actually threw up, and I. Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, yeah. I would say the most legitimate eats do happen off camera. We don't want to show that.

[Garrett]

Well, I think that was the only time somebody actually threw up.

[Courtney Miller]

Was it. Yeah.

[Shane Topped]

On Eat it or Yeeted.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

I guess I'm thinking of Noah's show put in my mouth from back in the day.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah. Because I. Yeah, I emptied my entire stomach on the finale. That was crazy. I remember, like, I threw up, and then I. There's a still that I have where I'm sobbing after I threw up and Keith and Howard just laughing.

[Courtney Miller]

We had to. We had to combine all the worst ingredients over the course of the show.

[Shane Topped]

And then make a smoothie ranch sod.

[Courtney Miller]

Crickets. Crickets.

[Shane Topped]

During. No, not during the. The pineapple.

[Courtney Miller]

It was a pineapple jizz fruit. It's the gigantic one.

[Shane Topped]

The gigantic pineapple type thing.

[Courtney Miller]

I think it is. But it, like, mixed with all that.

[Garrett]

Stuff smells like a dead.

[Courtney Miller]

It was awful.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah.

[Garrett]

It was rough, but that, I think. Were you about to say that Olivia eating the sour cashews?

[Courtney Miller]

That's what I.

[Garrett]

That was one of my favorite moments.

[Courtney Miller]

I mean, it looked like she was gonna die for a second, but.

[Garrett]

I know.

[Courtney Miller]

No, I guess you knew what it was. Y. I didn't. So knowing that it was just because it was sour. Yeah. I. I wish I could try those, because I don't think I would have had this. The reaction.

[Shane Topped]

My mouth waters.

[Courtney Miller]

The chances. The chances that it always lands on me for the malic acid and that I have no reaction to. It is so funny.

[Shane Topped]

I love grave mouth.

[Courtney Miller]

I. I get the malic acid, and then Damien always gets, like, the fishy thing.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Where he's like, oh, this is actually. This is actually very good.

[Shane Topped]

I remember the very early on episodes of Eater to Eat it, and it was, like, one of the first dishes Olivia got that was, like, super spicy.

[Garrett]

Yes. The spice. The wasabi.

[Courtney Miller]

Wasabi. Twinkie, right? Yeah, the Twinkies are always great.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Shane Topped]

It's a cool show to, like, show you new things, like, remember those. It was such a bummer because those, like, plant the little flowers that make your mouth do everything.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Shane Topped]

In whatever dish. It, like, didn't get the same effect until we had people, like, just try it by themselves, because that was the crazy experience. That was cool because, like, if you tried to drink a soda or something after it did not help. So crazy.

[Courtney Miller]

My worst experience. My worst experience on that show is still the peanut butter cups filled with Cambodian fish paste. Yes.

[Garrett]

I.

[Courtney Miller]

And. And of course, everyone was like, oh, you're just gonna take one. Take three. And. Oh, my God. Oh, I nearly. I nearly fully yeeted.

[Garrett]

Yeah. That was another one of my favorites because, you know, so. I mean, it was so hard to get you.

[Courtney Miller]

I know, man. Really ruined me.

[Shane Topped]

Gotcha.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. Fish stuff. I don't. I have a hard time.

[Garrett]

If it was fermented.

[Shane Topped]

I hate fish.

[Courtney Miller]

Fish mixed with anything weird. Fish needs to be on its own.

[Shane Topped]

Like, I like fermented stuff. Like, there are things that I do. Totally. But fish in general, I have a.

[Courtney Miller]

Hard time with most of those things. Most of the things on Eat it or Eat it could be good.

[Garrett]

Yes.

[Courtney Miller]

If they are used properly. It's kind of like. I know we Australians tell us this all the time. Whenever we use Vegemite, we, of course, use a pound of Vegemite. You're supposed to spread it thinly on toast, and then it's probably.

[Garrett]

It's so good.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Garrett]

Just butter and a thin slab of Vegemite. It's so tasty.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, exactly.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah. There's, like, a lot of foods like that where I'm sure, like, we. We definitely do that on purpose, kind of in a way of, like.

[Courtney Miller]

Totally.

[Shane Topped]

We want to give you guys a reaction. So I'm gonna, like, look at, laugh.

[Courtney Miller]

At, you know, because, like, a burger is usually good, but if it's cold. I mean, I love burger, but cold burger, but cold.

[Garrett]

I, I. That was actually my girlfriend.

[Courtney Miller]

Really?

[Shane Topped]

I have been forgetting to read the usernames. I'm sorry.

[Garrett]

Oh. Oh, I had a.

[Shane Topped]

There's this one. This next one is from a G. Palm 79. Oh, a sweet buddy. Yeah, I'm a sweet buddy.

[Garrett]

I'm a sweet buddy.

[Shane Topped]

You're a sweet buddy.

[Garrett]

Yeah, I like. I try to be a sweet buddy.

[Courtney Miller]

I think you're a sweet buddy.

[Garrett]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. That dog one was mine, too.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, that was yours too.

[Shane Topped]

Really?

[Garrett]

Yeah. Oh.

[Shane Topped]

Oh, my God.

[Garrett]

Oh, my God.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah. You have, like, four or five in here.

[Courtney Miller]

You use all these assumptions from Garrett.

[Garrett]

No, no, no, no. There's a few.

[Shane Topped]

There's one more.

[Garrett]

I just went to town for a bit last night.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah, you are drunk.

[Garrett]

Sweet buddy.

[Courtney Miller]

It's Tuesday night. It's time to say some assumptions about myself.

[Shane Topped]

There's some crazy ones in here. Like, he's a simp.

[Garrett]

That was not me.

[Shane Topped]

I know that wasn't you, but somebody Said that one. Are you a simp?

[Garrett]

Remind me of what simp is.

[Courtney Miller]

I mean, I think you have a girlfriend. I think I do. Yeah. I think you're a simp for her. I think you would be. I think you'd be the type that, like, your. Your girlfriend could ask anything of you and you'd be like, yeah, I'll do it. She'd be like, hey, can you run to. But I think, I think Garrett would go above and beyond, like, in a crazy way that I think if your girlfriend was like, hey, can you go to the store and get carrots? But can you go get carrots in Nevada? Can you drive to a grocery store in Nevada to get carrots and then come back? I think you'd be like, well, okay. Yeah.

[Garrett]

Well, I mean, I understand if, like, the carrots in Nevada are especially good. I get it. Simp.

[Courtney Miller]

What a simp.

[Shane Topped]

What a simp. I'm a simp.

[Garrett]

But yeah, no, she came up with cold burger.

[Courtney Miller]

She came up with burger cold.

[Garrett]

She. Well, she just said, what about just putting a burger in a freezer?

[Courtney Miller]

It ends up. It's now the most popular.

[Garrett]

I know.

[Courtney Miller]

Item of all time burger, but cold.

[Shane Topped]

It makes me. Sometimes I fantasize about eating a soaking wet burger.

[Courtney Miller]

That's weird.

[Garrett]

Just sounds like you fantasize about that.

[Shane Topped]

I don't know. Imagine just dunking a burger in a bucket of. Of fresh, filtered cold water and then just taking a bite. Not the worst thing. Anyways. Someone said what? Someone said, you like spicy food.

[Garrett]

Yeah, I do. I had to work my way up to it.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah.

[Garrett]

Yeah. I had to build it.

[Shane Topped]

When I first started this job, my palette was borderline Noah's palette, where it was like buttered pasta and nothing else. Now I am damaging my body at some points with how spicy the foods.

[Courtney Miller]

Are, but by the way, I'm gonna throw this out there. That reminded me with Noah's palate. Garrett, advice for you, if ever there's a chance where Noah's on eat it or yeet it.

[Garrett]

Okay.

[Courtney Miller]

I remember him mentioning this back in the day, that tomatoes are the thing that he just cannot eat.

[Garrett]

What?

[Courtney Miller]

I think, I think you could get.

[Shane Topped]

He does hate tomatoes.

[Courtney Miller]

I think you could get Noah to eat with just a tomato.

[Garrett]

Oh, my God.

[Courtney Miller]

I think just a straight up tomato. Just a tomato.

[Shane Topped]

A pile of cherry or grape tomatoes. Or like, should he have a bite out of one that.

[Garrett]

Or like a big beautiful heirloo.

[Courtney Miller]

Beautiful heirloom. But you got to make sure he gets it. Cuz if anyone else gets it that's just a good one.

[Garrett]

I know.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, but maybe, you know what, maybe that's the thing, cuz Noah, man, the things that are good are what's bad. Cuz Noah got a mango cake.

[Garrett]

Yes. And he hated it from Porto. He.

[Courtney Miller]

He didn't like it. Everyone else was like, what? That's the most delicious thing.

[Shane Topped]

I love that.

[Courtney Miller]

It was, it was easily the best item that's ever been on Eater. Eat it, cuz that's from Porto's, which if you don't live in la, it's a fantastic, fantastic bakery.

[Garrett]

And I was just like, this will be easy. Everybody, you know, will be so excited. Everybody will love it. You know, I got it so funny.

[Shane Topped]

I was told in middle school that tomatoes made your boobs grow.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay, I think I've heard that rumor.

[Garrett]

I've never heard that.

[Courtney Miller]

I think I've heard like on TV or there was a joke or something, like someone said that and I knew it only as a joke.

[Shane Topped]

That day I went home and ate a tomato. Like an apple.

[Garrett]

I mean, tomatoes, like apples are great.

[Courtney Miller]

I mean, look, you probably just lowered your chances of developing cancer lately life by eating a bunch of tomatoes.

[Shane Topped]

I think tomatoes are delicious, but I would love to see Noah's reaction to those. Do you guys have any foods like that that you just can't stand?

[Courtney Miller]

There is no vegetable or fruit that I'm like disgusted by. Definitely not vegetables or fruit. You can go crazier with beyond that, with meats and stuff. But there's no like simple item that I'm like, I can't eat that.

[Garrett]

I. Yeah, there's nothing that I'm like, well, okay, bananas, really? I cannot do.

[Shane Topped]

Really?

[Ryan Seacrest]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, that's it. Like bananas. Like if you had to eat a banana, would you just be like, ah, this sucks.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Or would you be like, oh my God, I can't eat this.

[Garrett]

Well, it's hard to tell now because.

[Courtney Miller]

You just haven't touched one forever or.

[Garrett]

Or like I've made it such a big deal that I'm like, oh, I don't want that. I don't want that. Like, oh no, you got me a banana thing. No, I'm not gonna eat it. I don't like it.

[Shane Topped]

So flavor.

[Garrett]

It's a, it's the flavor and the texture. But now it's like built to where like, it's almost like, like a bit where I hate them.

[Courtney Miller]

I will say the one that I, I do hate them, that I'm probably just the least fan of is avocados. Now guacamole is great, but an avocado on its own, I think it's just very, like. The texture is very heavy. It's just very heavy. It's not that I'm like. It's just that it's like. It's a lot. It just feels like a lot.

[Garrett]

I love just, like, a little salt and just.

[Courtney Miller]

I think maybe I need to put something on it, because when I've ever tried to eat it, I just need.

[Garrett]

To put a little salt.

[Courtney Miller]

Because plain, it's just kind of like.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah, yeah. We do our avocado toast. We take it very seriously.

[Courtney Miller]

See, I had avocado. I had avocado toast recently that I loved, but it had, like, tomatoes with it. It had some other stuff with other things. Avocado is awesome by itself. I'm just kind of like. Yeah.

[Shane Topped]

Even just seasonings do a lot.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Garrett]

No, I think by itself. Same with, like, tomato. You need a little salt.

[Courtney Miller]

Totally.

[Shane Topped]

But it's the texture.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, the texture is just a little, like, weird. It's just kind of like. Like, you know, very like a clay almost type of.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Texture and interesting. It's just not as great as others, you know, I love. I just. I don't know. But I'm a huge fan of all other vegetables and fruits, so I think. It's not that I'm like, I dislike avocado. It just doesn't rank up with everything else. I am a fruit and veggie simp.

[Shane Topped]

I used to absolutely despise celery.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, I love celery.

[Shane Topped]

I don't like it when it's in, like, soups and stuff. I don't like what it does to things.

[Courtney Miller]

Huh.

[Garrett]

Is it. I also don't like water chestnuts.

[Courtney Miller]

Is it like that similar.

[Shane Topped]

Oh, I love that.

[Garrett]

Like in a soup. Oh, really?

[Shane Topped]

The texture is good, but it's the flavor that I. I hated so much.

[Courtney Miller]

I love celery.

[Shane Topped]

I think I've. Since I've been at smosh, I've, like, tasted it with, like, ranch or things like that. And then, like, I tried to change my outlook on it. Cause I was like, oh, negative calories. That's pretty crazy. But I just. Even. Just thinking about it now, I don't like it. I don't like it.

[Courtney Miller]

Celery's so great. You put some peanut butter on that celery.

[Garrett]

Ye. Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Or. Or if you're ever, you know, on vacation or something, Bloody Mary with a big old celery stick in it. Oh, my God.

[Shane Topped]

See, I don't Know, I would. I would be willing to taste it, though. I used to not like bananas very much either, but bananas have been my.

[Courtney Miller]

Jam my whole life. I have a banana every day, and I think that's been the case for years.

[Shane Topped]

You banana sluts.

[Courtney Miller]

I just love bananas. They're so easy. Bananas and apples are so convenient. I love how convenient. Yeah, they are.

[Shane Topped]

Is it weird that I always get a stomachache when I eat a fresh apple? Is that a mild allergy?

[Courtney Miller]

Do you have an empty stomach whenever you're doing it?

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah.

[Garrett]

It's like acidity.

[Courtney Miller]

It might be that there's acidity. Maybe it's just if you're. Your stomach's empty.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

I don't know. I could see if your stomach's empty that. That something like a tart fruit might upset it a little bit.

[Garrett]

Does a pear do it?

[Shane Topped]

I don't know. I haven't had a pear in a while. But those are good.

[Courtney Miller]

Pears are underrated.

[Garrett]

I know. I love a good pear.

[Shane Topped]

You know what I freaking love is broccoli.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, broccoli's legendary. That's a legendary food.

[Shane Topped]

That is S Tier.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

That is s tier.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Step into the world of power, loyalty, and luck.

[Garrett]

I'm gonna make him an offer he.

[Courtney Miller]

Can'T refuse with family. Cannolis and spins mean everything. Now you want to get mixed up.

[Garrett]

In the family business.

[Courtney Miller]

Introducing the [e-mail] test your luck in the shadowy world of the Godfather slots.

[Garrett]

Someday I will call upon you to do a service for me.

[Courtney Miller]

Play the Godfather [e-mail]. welcome to the family. No purchase necessary. VGW Group void. We're prohibited by law 21 plus, terms and conditions apply.

[Shane Topped]

All right, next one about Garrett. This is the Garrett Show. He hangs out with young adults to feel young again. Don't we all?

[Garrett]

Who's that from?

[Shane Topped]

Nicolaus477. It's Monica.

[Garrett]

Yeah. I mean, look, I'm. I am older.

[Shane Topped]

Whether it's intentional or not.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, you're LA older.

[Garrett]

I am LA older. Yeah. Yeah, I know.

[Courtney Miller]

I know in la LA older, where you're not older, but, yeah, I do.

[Garrett]

Think, like, hanging out with younger people does make you feel younger, naturally, whether.

[Shane Topped]

You'Re trying to be there or not.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Shane Topped]

Can I say I've been preaching this. I really, truly believe that in this modern age, 30 is the new 20, because, like, people aren't moving out as soon as they're 18, as they, like, as often as they used to. And, like, people are figuring out their own lives. Much better.

[Garrett]

Yes.

[Shane Topped]

At around like, I'm 25 and I'm just now like really getting our hang of like, oh, I am this way because like, so, yeah, I agree with you.

[Garrett]

You're doing it before me. I. I'm 40. Really? Yeah.

[Shane Topped]

You don't have gas.

[Garrett]

I know.

[Shane Topped]

I. I think it's the facial hair that would be like, okay, that makes you look older, but you look like you could be like 33, 34.

[Garrett]

Yeah, I mean, I. Which is around when I started figuring stuff out. Like 33, 34.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, I agree with that. And also, I also think in that sense because, you know, like my grandparents who were just from such a different generation, but they retired in their 60s and I was just like that they spent then 20, 20, 20, 20 odd years more. More so just kind of like chilling. I'm just like, man, like, like, yeah, there was a lot, like, I don't know, like, I think we have changed. Like, it's different than their generation, like, because they. I think they thought they were gonna die sooner. So I mean, honestly, I mean, honestly, I'm just kind of like, dude, like, retiring at 60 is very, very young in a way. It's just not probably gonna be possible for us in our generation. So I don't know. Yeah, it is different. Like the age marker has changed.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah. But especially since. And it's. And it's also weird because like, like 15 year olds are looking so much more different than I looked when I was 15. Like, it's crazy. People are growing up faster.

[Courtney Miller]

But it is true. People are not like the average homeowner and stuff is so much later now and it's just harder to get things in order and settle down.

[Shane Topped]

But I will say, like, when I'm on social media and things like that, and you're watching the younger kids, like, be funny and seeing this new wave of humor and comedy, it makes me feel younger and makes me feel happier and wants to be a part of it.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh. And that is actually a proven thing and I think it's why retirement communities and stuff, I think is so sad. Like just being completely around people that your same age. My grandparents, when my brother, when he was 20, he moved and like started living with them. They got younger. Like, they really got younger. Like, it had such an impact on them just to be around youth and just to like, fresh perspective. And I think it's also my. I swear this is like my most important thing that I'm trying to remember for when I'm older is to really listen and respect young people, despite how different. Because, you know, think about how different we think from six 60 to 80 year olds now.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

I am sure when I'm 70, people in their 20s are going to be saying things that I'll be like, that's insane. But I'm gonna have to be like, you know What? It's been 60 years. The world's different. You're in it. I'm older. I respect your opinion. I'm gonna listen to you more. I think it's gonna.

[Garrett]

That will keep you younger and just embracing change. Exactly. Accepting that change is a constant that's always going to be there. And like, the next, the generation before you is going to change the world.

[Courtney Miller]

Right.

[Garrett]

And you can either, like, be angry about that or be a part of it.

[Courtney Miller]

You know, I think that's Garrett. I'd say that's why you seem younger, is because so many people by the time they are 40 or, you know, so they kind of are like, I am who I am.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

And my life is what it is. And I don't. I. I am actively preventing it from changing.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Whereas you are still. I feel like you're constantly experiencing new things, or at least mentally try to. It seems like you're still growing and learning, and I think that's the difference between you and a lot of people your age that seem so much older.

[Garrett]

Maybe. I. I don't know.

[Courtney Miller]

I don't know.

[Garrett]

I hope so.

[Courtney Miller]

That's my assumption of.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Shane Topped]

What's your experience been on social media, like, since all of this.

[Garrett]

A friend of mine in high school invented LiveJournal. And so, like, we were there, like, it was for us to keep in touch. And so we all had, like, LiveJournal back in 90.

[Courtney Miller]

I don't even. I know what live.

[Shane Topped]

First Twitter.

[Courtney Miller]

That first Tumblr. Wow. I did not know what this was. I did not.

[Garrett]

Oh, really?

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, my God.

[Garrett]

So, yeah, well.

[Courtney Miller]

And it lasted like, Courtney was two.

[Garrett]

It lasted for a while. Like, I think George R.R. martin has a live journal still.

[Courtney Miller]

Wow. George R.R. martin would.

[Garrett]

Yes, he would. But so I've, like, always. But, like, I, you know, like, I would write stupid stuff on there. And I. I remember, like, one time, you know, writing about, like, somebody down the hall in my dorm, the most annoying laugh, and he read it. That was like, the first time that I realized, like, oh, this is.

[Courtney Miller]

You got canceled.

[Garrett]

I got canceled in that hallway. Yeah. Canceled.

[Courtney Miller]

That's. So you dox. You dox someone and you got canceled in the 90s on LiveJournals.

[Garrett]

Yeah. And social media.

[Courtney Miller]

Is Garrett the first person canceled on social media?

[Garrett]

Is that what we're hearing?

[Courtney Miller]

I'm sure. I can't imagine social media back in the day was so. Well, so much more personal.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Because you're saying something and someone's going to show up in person.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Shane Topped]

So what about since you've been at Smosh? Especially since during Eater to eat it, what has it been like for you?

[Garrett]

It's been very interesting. Like. Yeah, I don't know. I have a lot more Twitter and Instagram followers now.

[Courtney Miller]

Do you get any hate comments?

[Garrett]

I don't think they're serious.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah. There's the roasting. Roasting that happens.

[Courtney Miller]

I feel like we actually have a very loving fan base. Yeah, they roast a lot, but there's no like legit.

[Shane Topped]

There's no hatred actually there.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Shane Topped]

I think what's cool about our team is everybody seems kind of young at heart or like whenever. Like since I've started working with people that are older than me, I've literally like I will forget my age. And it feels like it's just kind of this ageless group because we all are kind of. Everyone seems to have a lot of similar interests. Like we have like, like we had a rock climbing group.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Shane Topped]

For a while and then there was like gonna be like a hiking group and things like that. It feels like, like our group just like naturally seems to be all kind of young hearted.

[Garrett]

Yeah. You'd never guess Monica is 55.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah. And the fact that. Yeah. That Monica's 55. And Kiana, when I first met her, like I. I had no idea her age. Her and I are like only a couple days apart, I think.

[Garrett]

Really?

[Shane Topped]

Or is she a year younger than me? I'm not sure. But we're both Geminis so that's all it is. Chaotic.

[Garrett]

Yeah, that's. That's something I do love about the. This, this office, this work. Like so many different people.

[Shane Topped]

But yeah, we all seem to like.

[Courtney Miller]

It'S a group of very open minded people. And I think that's what keeps us all seeming young is we're all so like constantly learning.

[Shane Topped]

I feel, I weirdly feel like I've gotten a lot closer with our crew during this quarantine despite it being so crazy. I mean, granted in the beginning of like defy era I was very antisocial for like weird reasons, like toxic ex, things like that. But like it's been a new era of like trying to come out of my shell. Especially this year because I'm like, doing just fine. And we're realizing, oh, thanks, man. But, like, realizing during quarantine, like, oh, shit, like, social interactions, I have. I've been neglecting this, and this is really showing me how important it is.

[Garrett]

Well, and it's hard in la. Like, when Rachel and I first moved to LA together, like, we were all that we had for like, a year or two.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Garrett]

And, like, I had. I took a job in Australia for a month during that. And so she was like, alone in la.

[Shane Topped]

Wow. Alone in la.

[Garrett]

Alone in la, going crazy. It's just a hard city to make friends in.

[Courtney Miller]

It is a tough city to make friends in.

[Garrett]

But that's for next week's podcast.

[Courtney Miller]

That's next week's podcast.

[Shane Topped]

Oh, yeah, it is, actually. Wow.

[Courtney Miller]

Wow. Garrett's on top of it.

[Shane Topped]

Another assumption about Garrett. You like your coffee black?

[Garrett]

Yes.

[Shane Topped]

Really?

[Garrett]

Yep.

[Shane Topped]

Not even any sweetener or sugar or anything?

[Garrett]

I like it black. I like it light roasted. And I like east angle African coffees. What's that, like, fruitier berry. Fruitier berry forward. Strawberry forward.

[Courtney Miller]

Interesting. Man, I am not that intelligent when it comes to coffee.

[Shane Topped]

I like nutty.

[Garrett]

Nutty.

[Courtney Miller]

So, like, is that a more European.

[Garrett]

South, like, grown in Europe?

[Courtney Miller]

No, no. Like, you're saying, like, like, like what. What regions typically do more that type of flavor profile.

[Garrett]

Yeah. So, like, East African will be, like, more like, the stuff grown there is like. Like, fruitier. South and Central America is a little nutty. Is nuttier.

[Shane Topped]

Got it.

[Garrett]

And then, like, Oceana is, like, woodsier tobacco.

[Courtney Miller]

Ooh, I think those are mine.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Those are my favorites. Yeah. I like. And I like dark roasts.

[Shane Topped]

I don't care. I think medium roast is fine. I like light roast. My favorite brew bean that I have at home right now is called brew.

[Courtney Miller]

Nice. I wish I could drink coffee black. My teeth get stained so easily.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Shane Topped]

How do you drink coffee, though? Like, do you. Do you let it, like, flow through your teeth? You should open up. You should open up that. I'm not joking.

[Garrett]

Are you drinking, like, how do you.

[Shane Topped]

Is your teeth biting the coffee?

[Courtney Miller]

I mean, my teeth. I have pretty large front teeth, so it probably can't avoid it. That they. Yeah, do it like that.

[Shane Topped]

Use that screenshot this, because I don't get that.

[Garrett]

I get it.

[Courtney Miller]

I. My teeth stain very. But my teeth stain very easily. And I'll notice it. And, like, it fluctuates because literally, my teeth will start to stain. They will look like I smoke. They'll get that yellow. And then I go to the dentist and it's like they. They're able to just scrape it all.

[Shane Topped]

Off and it's back to normal.

[Courtney Miller]

It's weird. I don't know.

[Garrett]

Crazy.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. Just what it is.

[Shane Topped]

Do you prefer hot or cold coffee?

[Garrett]

Oh, either way, it depends on the season you've made.

[Courtney Miller]

You. There was a period of time where you were making cold brew for the whole office. Yeah.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Shane Topped]

That was a lot of fun.

[Garrett]

1.

[Shane Topped]

All right, next one. Garrett's car is the messiest of the crew.

[Courtney Miller]

Ooh, that's an interesting assumption.

[Shane Topped]

I think someone else takes that cake.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, someone else definitely does win. You guys gonna say who? Well, I don't.

[Shane Topped]

That's mean.

[Courtney Miller]

No, we can't.

[Shane Topped]

We can't.

[Garrett]

I don't know.

[Courtney Miller]

We can't.

[Shane Topped]

We can't.

[Courtney Miller]

We can't. I'm sorry. You guys love to continue the saga of who has the messiest car. I would say that yours would be that messy.

[Garrett]

Yeah, it goes in phases.

[Courtney Miller]

I mean, everybody's.

[Garrett]

It doesn't get that messy.

[Courtney Miller]

Everybody goes in phases. But who on who has the average messiest car at all time? Because everyone cleans their car out a little bit.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

And then. And then lets it get bad. But who has it the worst? And your car then, is it usually.

[Garrett]

Full of, like, gear?

[Courtney Miller]

Do you leave hiking gear or stuff in there?

[Garrett]

Oh, hiking gear. Sometimes. Sometimes. Yeah. There's usually a few jackets.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah. What's the kind of messy that everybody has?

[Garrett]

Yeah, so your jackets, a few Lacroix cans.

[Courtney Miller]

Got it.

[Garrett]

That I need to get around to a couple things for the dogs. Disposable masks. Yeah, right now. I mean, it's full of hand sanitizer right now too.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, usually some carabiners.

[Garrett]

Blanket or two carabiners.

[Shane Topped]

What about you, Shane?

[Courtney Miller]

Mine's papers. Like, I'll get papers. Like, if, like. Yeah, if I go get my tires fixed, they give you that sheet of paper. Whatever. I'll leave that on my passenger seat and that'll end up just kind of on the floor. I'll eventually have so many receipts and just paper all over the place. That's. That's mine. And I used to be. It used to be water bottles. Yeah, I would have just countless, like, half empty or empty water bottles. Not anymore. And obviously this year I'm not driving as much, so. Yeah, it's not that bad.

[Shane Topped]

Mine's mostly like Starbucks, like, breakfast wrappers and stuff.

[Courtney Miller]

Makes sense. That's. That's fair.

[Shane Topped]

I've decided, like this morning, I was just talking about. I think with both of you guys that I don't like Starbucks anymore.

[Garrett]

Oh, really? I wasn't there for this. Oh, yeah, I'm proud of you.

[Courtney Miller]

Starbucks is a convenience thing, I will say.

[Shane Topped]

Like the Starbucks I go to, I specifically go to because the staff is so friendly. It's been obviously different because of the crazy times, but I used to go there and they were so nice to me in the drive thru that I would like literally get coked out from there. I was like, yes, fricking nice. I love it. This is gonna be a great start to my day.

[Courtney Miller]

Well, the workers at Starbucks are all great. They're always. There's no problem with that.

[Garrett]

Sometimes there's like workers pretty well, that's.

[Shane Topped]

That'S, that is a huge part of it.

[Courtney Miller]

And, and Starbucks coffee is only not good because they literally are equipped to make so many types of things that they're not focusing on making a couple things. Right. You go to any other coffee shop, it's like we make a latte, a cappuccino, the art Americano, and like, we make those things very well. Starbucks has to be able to make a bunch of Frappuccinos and stuff. So you order regular coffee, it's going to taste like whatever.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah, it just, I randomly. It hit me today that I've been trying, I have been trying nicer, like smaller business coffees and I was like, I just suddenly this morning I made a mental comparison because I ordered the same thing all the time. Just like a iced coffee with oat or coconut milk and vanilla. I was like, holy shit, this tastes awful compared to. And I'm not, I'm sorry, Starbucks. I'm not trying to be mean, but I guess I am on Ian's team now.

[Courtney Miller]

Starbucks is gonna be okay.

[Garrett]

Yeah, they're gonna be fine.

[Courtney Miller]

Starbucks is gonna. Starbucks. I think Starbucks is gonna be fine.

[Shane Topped]

I love you guys. I might even still just come in to say hi.

[Courtney Miller]

I will. Whenever I do go to like a local, like small business coffee shop, I'm like, holy God, this latte is delicious to everyone listening. Go to, go to local coffee shops. Especially right now in 2020. They are hurting. Go and trust me, you're. I, I don't care where you live. I guarantee you, like you've got a really good local coffee shop. I guarantee you probably do.

[Shane Topped]

I guarantee it.

[Courtney Miller]

I feel like every state has like a different, different aspect to what makes their coffee great. I don't know.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Courtney Miller]

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[Shane Topped]

Okay, this next one is. It's in all caps. This is from at Champion Cheddar ready. Okay, I'm gonna just do it the way that they probably want to reset it. You have a wig. Like, your hair never grows. It is the same all the time.

[Courtney Miller]

Your hair's grown quite a bit this year.

[Garrett]

Yeah, I know. What are they talking about?

[Shane Topped]

Yeah, that's crazy thick hair. It is in the best way. It is very.

[Garrett]

Yeah, yeah. It's the Greek in me.

[Shane Topped]

Wow. I know. I do. Now I see it.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I do know. You agree.

[Shane Topped]

Now that I see it. Now that you say that.

[Garrett]

But like, my chest is hairless.

[Shane Topped]

Oh, wow. That's crazy.

[Garrett]

And somehow the Greek is just here.

[Courtney Miller]

Only the Greek is.

[Shane Topped]

I almost asked an inappropriate question.

[Garrett]

Yeah, sorry, Courtney.

[Shane Topped]

You know, it's just tiktoks talking about, like, a lot of people on a lot of podcasts also too, are just talking about a lot of body hair stuff.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Shane Topped]

Anyway, that's wild. Having a crazy hairy head and face and then not a hairy chest.

[Courtney Miller]

That's lucky because you know what? I don't understand how guys. I don't understand how guys can handle having tons of shoulder hair.

[Shane Topped]

Shoulder hair.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, I will see some. I will see some. I will see some dudes walking around wearing tank tops and they are. There is an inch, like, off their body that nothing will pass that. I'm just like, what. What's it feel like to never wear? Like, they must feel like clothes are never actually touching their skin.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

A shirt is always an inch off there.

[Shane Topped]

I wasn't talking about. I wasn't thinking about pubes, by the way.

[Garrett]

Okay.

[Shane Topped]

Asses.

[Garrett]

Oh, my. Oh, okay.

[Shane Topped]

Sorry. That doesn't. That's so much better.

[Courtney Miller]

Well, you know what's got to be on. No, but once again, what's uncomfortable is having, like, hair, like, on the butt cheeks. I'm like. I'm just like. That's gotta like, you sit down on your hair. Like, ah. Like, that's.

[Garrett]

I'VE got some.

[Courtney Miller]

But I'm talking, like, people who are like. You see those old. You see, like, old. Literally, like, you'll see, like, an old Italian dude walking around, and he's wearing, like, a tank top. He's chilling. He seems like he's having a great time. But that guy is covered in so much hair, and I'm like, how is that comfortable?

[Garrett]

How do you see his ass hair?

[Courtney Miller]

Well, not his ass hair.

[Shane Topped]

Well, it depends on the pants.

[Courtney Miller]

I mean, sometimes it. Sometimes people, like, you're not wearing much. But I'm talking still about the shoulder hair.

[Garrett]

Yeah, yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

The shoulder hair is still what baffles me. I'm like, God, that looks uncomfortable.

[Garrett]

And then in the summer, it's got to be so hot.

[Shane Topped]

I'm sure, like, you wake up one day, and suddenly you have hairy shoulders. That's one thing. But, like, they've grown up with it. I don't know.

[Garrett]

It's what.

[Shane Topped]

You know, they're used to it, I.

[Courtney Miller]

Think my dad had a super hairy back, and he got, like, laser hair removal forever ago. But I don't have any hair on my back. I don't know. I didn't get. I didn't pick it up.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah, but do you. You, like, can grow chest hair?

[Courtney Miller]

I can. I actually shave. So I do shave my chest hair. Because getting miked on set on Goldberg's, what they do is they stick. They. They put, like, this crazy tape on. On the microphone, this tiny little microphone, and they stick it to your chest. And when I did have chest hair, it would just. I would have to rip off chest hair every day. And it got to the point I was like, you know, I'm just getting rid of this. Like, I can't. It sucks.

[Shane Topped]

We put it on. We put it on the fabric of our clothes and stuff. When we do it, it.

[Courtney Miller]

And even then, though, it'll sometimes get caught, and it just sucks.

[Shane Topped]

Anything you have to say about that?

[Courtney Miller]

Anything you have to say about that?

[Garrett]

No.

[Courtney Miller]

So Garrett, just so you know, Garrett does not wear wig.

[Shane Topped]

He does not wear a wig.

[Garrett]

Yes. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

The beard is. Oh. Is fake.

[Garrett]

Yeah. I glue on each.

[Courtney Miller]

Every single individual strand.

[Shane Topped]

Your own real hair.

[Courtney Miller]

Exactly. You transfer it over to there.

[Garrett]

Yep.

[Courtney Miller]

That's. But that's normal.

[Garrett]

It looks better.

[Courtney Miller]

Exactly.

[Shane Topped]

At Anna, Riley says Garrett farms his own bugs for consumption because he is a bunch of birds in a Garrett suit.

[Courtney Miller]

Wow. Garrett, what do you have to say about that?

[Shane Topped]

Exposed.

[Garrett]

Kevin, shut this down.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh.

[Garrett]

Cut the cameras.

[Courtney Miller]

Cut the sound. Okay, everything's off. Go ahead and let it spill.

[Garrett]

I am two birds.

[Courtney Miller]

Just only two. But they are California Condors.

[Garrett]

They are California Condors. So they.

[Courtney Miller]

They're very large. They're very large, so it makes sense.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Shane Topped]

Are the legs in here?

[Garrett]

Yeah, the legs are in the arms.

[Shane Topped]

My arm is sore from my flu shot.

[Garrett]

Yeah, I know. One head is here. One head is here.

[Courtney Miller]

Garrett said one head is in his head.

[Garrett]

One head is in my chest.

[Courtney Miller]

Yes.

[Garrett]

I forgot this is a podcast.

[Courtney Miller]

The Condors are not comfortable, but they are working together, and they are making a. Garrett teamwork. Obviously, you don't farm bugs, but.

[Garrett]

Because I would eat them. You.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, but you do. You do actually grow a lot of stuff on your own, right?

[Garrett]

I try, but I don't do that well. I.

[Shane Topped]

It's hard.

[Garrett]

It is hard. The two things that are growing well for me right now are rosemary and basil.

[Shane Topped]

Nice.

[Courtney Miller]

Love rosemary.

[Garrett]

Rosemary is so easy.

[Courtney Miller]

Really?

[Garrett]

Yeah, it's. I really want to make sage work.

[Shane Topped]

It's good because people who buy them, I guess they don't realize it's, like, a hard resource to get or something for some people.

[Courtney Miller]

Sage.

[Shane Topped]

Is it sage? Am I thinking of the right thing? Like, there's a lot of people that are against burning sage, right?

[Garrett]

Yeah. But I think that's part of it is. That's appropriation and that it's also, like, traditionally, you. You're not supposed to, like, pay for the. The sage bundle that you then smudge with.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, it's like.

[Garrett]

Yeah, you're not supposed to pay for it.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, interesting.

[Garrett]

Yeah. I mean, I think the main thing is it's appropriation, but I just. I just love the smell of sage. Like, I've says.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, well, fresh plants are so great.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, I love when I. Whenever I buy basil, and I'm just like, oh, this smells so delicious. I would love to have a basil plant in my house. So it just constant smells like basil.

[Garrett]

It does. It's great. Well, and. And then sage is so tasty. And then I love to, like, take a sprig of sage and put it in the. On the dashboard of my car. Oh. Smell like sage.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, interesting.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

That's a very Garrett thing.

[Garrett]

I know.

[Courtney Miller]

That is a very Garrett thing.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Shane Topped]

Actually recently bought a basil plant. It's in my kitchen.

[Garrett]

Yes.

[Shane Topped]

I was. I have a lot of plants in my place recently, and I've been moving around, trying to find their spots, and I decided to buy a basil plant. It. It's in the perfect spot. It's a very moody plant. It seems like it needs it's like the way the amounts that you need to water it are kind of like.

[Garrett]

I. I have mine on a automatic. Like, it's got a reservoir wall underneath it that it just kind of.

[Courtney Miller]

I need to get one of those things, like, one of those, like, Brookstone devices where it's like, this is your garden, and it, like, kind of has UV lights on it and everything. Something. Because otherwise, I feel like I wouldn't keep it alive.

[Garrett]

I had my. I have mine in the. In the kitchen, in the window alcove area, and it gets blasted by the heat in the summer, so it was destroyed, but then it grew out of it. So it's like there's this brown part, and then it's green and basil above it.

[Shane Topped]

Is it weird that I'll just randomly pull a leaf off the basil plant and eat it and just keep it?

[Courtney Miller]

No, dude. That's what it's for.

[Garrett]

Yeah. Okay. One of my. I love to grow kale and just go and eat it.

[Shane Topped]

Really?

[Garrett]

Not even pick it, but just start.

[Courtney Miller]

Eating it in, like, a giraffe.

[Shane Topped]

I think that's one of the things I can't do, is raw kale.

[Courtney Miller]

I can't do raw kale, but roasted kale, that's the best thing ever made.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Is that it for the assumptions on.

[Shane Topped]

Pretty much.

[Courtney Miller]

Do you have any. Courtney, do you have any assumptions of. Garrett, Do I have any? Because I think I. I want to see if I'm correct on some of these. Garrett, you've had. You've at least attempted to brew your own beer at some point?

[Garrett]

No, but I have tried kombucha.

[Courtney Miller]

You have tried to make your own. Wow.

[Garrett]

Kombucha. Yes.

[Courtney Miller]

How did it work out?

[Garrett]

Yeah, it worked out well, but in a tiny Brooklyn apartment, it just wasn't feasible. I mean, it was smelling it up.

[Shane Topped]

What kind of kombucha?

[Garrett]

Just basic black tea. Kombucha.

[Courtney Miller]

Got it.

[Garrett]

I have helped somebody brew beer before.

[Courtney Miller]

But that's, like, just a small. Like one of those small little sets, you know? Not. Not. Not crazy.

[Garrett]

You're not actually.

[Courtney Miller]

You're not, like, selling beer illegally or whatever?

[Garrett]

No, no, no, no.

[Shane Topped]

I just. My only assumption I've ever had about you is, like, you're mischievous.

[Garrett]

I mean, Kevin's not in his head yet. Yeah, I love, like, being a little trickster, if I can. Like, it's my favorite thing. Like, the trickster gods, you know, the trickster archetype. Yeah. I love Loki.

[Shane Topped]

Have you ever broken the law? You can say that on a pod. It's fine.

[Garrett]

Really. This isn't binding.

[Shane Topped]

This is a private pod.

[Garrett]

I am kind of.

[Courtney Miller]

And a parking ticket is breaking the law.

[Garrett]

I am a bit of a rule follower.

[Shane Topped]

That's good.

[Courtney Miller]

No, I would see that.

[Garrett]

Yeah. I get really stressed out if I'm.

[Shane Topped]

Breaking a rule, but yeah, it's innocent pranks and stuff.

[Garrett]

Oh, yeah, innocent pranks.

[Shane Topped]

That's what's great about smosh pranks.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

I have an assumption of. Garrett, I assume that at some point in high school or college, you had a Bob Marley phase.

[Garrett]

Oh, no.

[Courtney Miller]

Nope.

[Garrett]

No. You do not know in high school.

[Shane Topped]

Deadhead.

[Garrett]

No. First year. All black.

[Courtney Miller]

All black.

[Garrett]

Pearl Jam, Metallica Nirvana T shirts.

[Shane Topped]

Whoa.

[Courtney Miller]

Nirvana, Garrett.

[Garrett]

And then after that, khakis and blue button up shirts. Khakis and button.

[Shane Topped]

You were a boat boy?

[Garrett]

Not really.

[Shane Topped]

Do it to him, boy.

[Courtney Miller]

Just khakis and blue button up here. Preppy is all good.

[Garrett]

That's what I was going for. But I was not preppy at all. Like, the preps wouldn't exist.

[Shane Topped]

We're like, spiteful preppy.

[Garrett]

No. Like, this is safe. I couldn't even.

[Shane Topped]

You're just dressing hetero.

[Garrett]

Yeah, yeah, I guess so. Yeah. I. I couldn't even use the word cool because I didn't think I was cool enough to use the word cool.

[Shane Topped]

Wow.

[Garrett]

Like, I just. So I was like, okay, just go to J.

[Shane Topped]

Crew.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, that's square. Oh, guys, that sounds pretty square. Were you still listening to Nirvana and Pearl Jam?

[Garrett]

Yeah. And like, Dream Theater, Queens rec. A lot of progra.

[Shane Topped]

Do you have pictures of this era?

[Garrett]

I do.

[Shane Topped]

Okay, good.

[Garrett]

Yes.

[Shane Topped]

Because we will need to see those. I'll have to find one. Where, like, in the peak of college.

[Garrett]

Where were you at peak of college.

[Shane Topped]

Or peak of high school?

[Garrett]

I was in the big. I hate to admit this, but in college I was a. I was a big Woody Allen phase. Okay, so still. Still like button ups and like khakis and like, sweaters over them.

[Courtney Miller]

Got it.

[Garrett]

And anxiety. Yeah. Kind of like all together.

[Courtney Miller]

Wow.

[Garrett]

And it was after that, I worked a job in Colorado as a ranch hand. That's where I. Wow. Like the outdoorsy.

[Courtney Miller]

Cool. Where in Colorado?

[Garrett]

Buena Vista.

[Courtney Miller]

I've never been to Buena Vista. I love Colorado, though. And I've. I've actually, there was a phase when I was struggling with acting where I was like, teasing the idea of, like, go work as a ranch hand for a month. Like, just.

[Shane Topped]

Dude, I had this same phase, but, like, I was gonna use that website called Workaway.

[Garrett]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Shane Topped]

There's something like that.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Shane Topped]

I don't know if I'm naming it, but where you just basically go work on a ranch and they just let you live there.

[Garrett]

There's. There's like a farm wolfing.

[Shane Topped]

Is that what it is?

[Garrett]

Yeah. Wolfing. I can't remember, but it's like farms across the world.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah, you can do that.

[Courtney Miller]

I've really. I really wanted to do that too because my grandfather was born and grew up on a ranch in Colorado. So like my family.

[Garrett]

Both.

[Courtney Miller]

Both lines of my family come from ranchers.

[Garrett]

Where in Colorado?

[Courtney Miller]

I don't know where it necessarily not far from like Denver.

[Garrett]

Okay.

[Courtney Miller]

Though just. But just kind of out there in the plains.

[Shane Topped]

Wow. Everyone in this room has had sexual tension with being a horse girl.

[Courtney Miller]

I have one more. I have an assumption of Garrett. We know Garrett worked on Wall Street. My assumption of Garrett is that he also occupied Wall Street.

[Garrett]

I did walk around and like, was.

[Shane Topped]

That you were there.

[Garrett]

I was there during working.

[Courtney Miller]

During occupied.

[Garrett]

That's crazy.

[Courtney Miller]

I have a thought for some last things we can say. Unless there's some. Some questions or whatever. But I was going to say what are some pitches that we have for what we could do on eatery? Because I've had some ideas.

[Shane Topped]

I've submitted some, but I think they just kind of get lost.

[Courtney Miller]

Well, hey, look here. Here's a platform right now. We could say them and they can be out there in public.

[Shane Topped]

But I kind of want the.

[Courtney Miller]

I guess the theme and the fans could keep asking. You can keep commenting.

[Shane Topped]

But you're a potential eater. Is here.

[Garrett]

I know. I still have your. Your document.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm not saying foods even. I still have.

[Shane Topped]

There's the sandwich one.

[Garrett]

Yes.

[Shane Topped]

But I had an even better one. The movie one.

[Courtney Miller]

I think I. I do think. Look, if we're saying foods. A theme that I would like, like an obviously non alcoholic. But cocktails. Some nice virgin cocktails.

[Garrett]

Some.

[Courtney Miller]

Some virgin cocktails that are awful.

[Shane Topped]

I'm down. Mocktails.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, some mocktails. What's the famous one? What's the. Or not. It's not a mocktail even. But what's the famous. Like Shirley Temple. Shirley Temple or an Arnold Palmer that.

[Shane Topped]

Just Keith love Shirley Temples.

[Courtney Miller]

They're good.

[Shane Topped]

Those are good. You said that they're awful.

[Courtney Miller]

No, I didn't. I said they're not. I said they're not technically like cocktails. I said it's not a virgin cocktail. It's not even.

[Shane Topped]

Why am I gatekeeping sugary drinks?

[Courtney Miller]

I think you know we have the Garrett Sliver, like when we have the spinning. I Think we should do one where everyone else is sliver and Garrett is the majority.

[Garrett]

No, no, no.

[Shane Topped]

Garrett.

[Garrett]

No, no, no, no, no. That's not.

[Courtney Miller]

Garrett has like a 90% chance of getting every single one and everyone else has, like, a tiny chance.

[Garrett]

There's no need. There's no need for that. I don't know. See, the problem is, is I'm over on the side and I've just got a stool. There's no table there for me to eat eat. So it really doesn't work to have.

[Shane Topped]

You don't have the resources.

[Garrett]

I don't really have a way for me to eat the food.

[Courtney Miller]

I think we could also do a deal or no deal situation where all five are brought out and they're laid in front of us and we take turns just picking one. Like, you just go, I pick number five.

[Shane Topped]

Or if it's like in suitcases.

[Courtney Miller]

Just the milkshake just. Just milk just pours out of the suitcase. Like how you drink it.

[Shane Topped]

That's really funny.

[Courtney Miller]

And guys, just so you know, please comment down, like, beneath our video.

[Garrett]

I get a lot of beneath.

[Courtney Miller]

Eat it or eat it Comment ideas. Any idea you have. And we do read them.

[Shane Topped]

We read them the Garrett Sliver. We've used ideas.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, the Garrett Sliver came from a suggestion.

[Garrett]

I've done a strawberry filled thing off a suggestion.

[Shane Topped]

Dude, we almost got you with the Garrett Sliver recently on a shoot. The episode might not be out yet, but we one day.

[Garrett]

Look, I wish it would work. I really do.

[Shane Topped]

He has magnets, gets hooked up.

[Garrett]

It's so.

[Courtney Miller]

It's such a shame.

[Garrett]

It's just such a shame. I'm so sorry.

[Shane Topped]

I just pull your teeth out and then you'll not be able to eat anything.

[Courtney Miller]

That's the only assumption you guys can get, right? Is that he wears dentures.

[Garrett]

Yeah, I do.

[Courtney Miller]

You guys didn't predict it there?

[Garrett]

It's wood painted white.

[Courtney Miller]

Yep. And they look great.

[Garrett]

Thank you.

[Courtney Miller]

I got a question for you, Courtney.

[Shane Topped]

For me?

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. For eat it or eat it. Are you ever going to eat it? Oh, will Courtney ever be a contestant?

[Shane Topped]

I feel like there has been past episodes before quarantine where I did, like, taste things. Like after it's already been eaten, maybe.

[Courtney Miller]

There would be a type of food where you'd be down where it's like, okay, this type of. This general sphere won't gross me out enough.

[Shane Topped]

I trust you. I'm not like, on. I wasn't on the show at first because there was an element of distrust, but I don't Think you're gonna make an awful experience for me or you're gonna try and make me look bad?

[Courtney Miller]

You just don't like bad food. Food.

[Shane Topped]

I don't like bad food. Part of me is, like, solidarity. Like, put a Courtney sliver down.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Shane Topped]

But even.

[Garrett]

And maybe, like, a bigger sliver, it.

[Courtney Miller]

Should be a super. A super small Courtney sliver.

[Shane Topped]

Like, literally half the size of yours.

[Garrett]

What?

[Shane Topped]

No.

[Courtney Miller]

Like, the chances are so slim. No, I mean, it's.

[Shane Topped]

I know it's crazy because, like, I.

[Courtney Miller]

Know it's not unfair.

[Garrett]

I know sometimes.

[Shane Topped]

Sometimes I choose not to read the cards or I'll, like, skim them. I usually do know what you guys are eating, so, like, that's what kind of makes it worse.

[Garrett]

Have you felt like I've crossed the line?

[Shane Topped]

Not in eat it or eat it. Like. Like, because I put it in my mouth.

[Garrett]

In other places, though. No, Like, I don't think I've crossed the line.

[Shane Topped]

I think outside, sometimes punishments get crazy, but I don't even know if I can necessarily, like, pick. Like, you were the one who picked all of those.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. I don't think you crossed a line with the food, but I think everyone crossed the line by telling me to put in three fish pieces.

[Shane Topped]

That is something that does make me nervous is, like, when I'm told to, like, okay, take a big bite, or, like, punishments. The concept sometimes it gives me anxiety of, like, why do I need to get hurt? Or, like, why. Like, why are you doing. You need me to hurt? Like, am I not funny enough? Am I not good enough? Alone in the content.

[Courtney Miller]

It's about the thumbnail.

[Shane Topped]

I auditioned for this.

[Garrett]

That Mario party where it was too spicy is got a lot of.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, my God. I will say. I will say. Habanero peppers are always the worst. There's nothing that compares. But there is an element. There's a second where it's delicious. There's a second where it's delicious, and then it's just pain.

[Shane Topped]

And I have had burgers or meals Murgers.

[Courtney Miller]

Habanero peppers are awesome. Eating an entire one.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

In one bite is my first time.

[Shane Topped]

I did it, like, was that Summer Games. I couldn't speak.

[Courtney Miller]

It was my first week. I had to eat a habanero.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Garrett]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane Topped]

You're not okay. Like, I remember seeing Mari in the back just tripping out, like, delirious.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Shane Topped]

It's wild.

[Courtney Miller]

It's. It's a bad time.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Nothing compares to habanero pepper. Nothing compares.

[Shane Topped]

You ready for the shoot, dude? Guys.

[Garrett]

Yes.

[Courtney Miller]

I guess so. Obviously, Garrett, you've listened to the podcast. We listen to this story, and I like to determine whether I believe it's true or not. So I think a lot of people are out there trying to try to fabricate stories.

[Shane Topped]

These are listeners submitted or viewer submitted stories of embarrassment or cringe moments that we will deem whether they're not. They are a shoot dude. I don't think people are necessarily lying. I think sometimes they will spin them in a way. Or like that one dude who's like, I accidentally stumbled across this mom's underwear drawer. I'm like, dude, I think you're snooping.

[Courtney Miller]

I think you would.

[Shane Topped]

We talk about that episode a lot. I feel bad for that dude.

[Courtney Miller]

But no, I mean, it's fine. Hey, look, it's fine. It's not like a big deal.

[Shane Topped]

I definitely did.

[Courtney Miller]

I think the perfect shoot dude is like a Seinfeld scenario where someone actively does an action and it backfires on them.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

That, to me, is the perfect shoot dude. Yeah. Because there's some also where people are just like completely innocent, where something just happens to him. I'm like, that's not a shoot dude. You just got screwed over.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Shane Topped]

Would you say you're on the quest for the. You're on quest for the perfect shoot dude?

[Courtney Miller]

I. I think so. The. The underwear drawer. The Mom's underwear drawer 1 was almost perfect if he truly had gone in there for a different reason and accidentally did that. Yeah, I don't believe that was the case.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

I don't buy it. Don't buy it.

[Shane Topped]

All right. Are you ready for the shoot dude?

[Garrett]

Yes. Yes. My heart is open. You're supposed to say shoot dude. Oh, shoot dude.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Shoot dude. Shoot dude. Shoot dude.

[Shane Topped]

Shoot dude.

[Courtney Miller]

Shoot dude.

[Shane Topped]

Shoot dude.

[Courtney Miller]

Shoot dude.

[Shane Topped]

This one is from Jake. Two years ago, I was talking to a guy on Grindr and we seemed to hit it off. After a week, we'd finally decided to meet at a chain sit down restaurant for our first meal defined date. I arrived at the restaurant 10 minutes early. Ah. Like you say in your video. In our video, a side effect of having worked in emergency response. I guess he always wants to be early to everything and sent him a text to let him know I was by the host stand. He responded almost immediately saying he was as well. I looked around and didn't see anyone who matched any of his pictures. So naturally I started to get nervous that he either catfished or ghosted me. I send back a message asking the restaurant on Blank Street. He, like, basically just Claire Checking, clarifying what restaurant it was. He sends another message, realizing he was at the correct chain restaurant but in the wrong town. He was a 15 minute drive away. I grabbed a table and a drink and waited until he made it it to the restaurant. We've now been together almost two years and I still tease him about it. That's not a shoot.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, that's not a shoot, dude. That's just a sweet story.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

The shoot dude would be on the other person's side.

[Garrett]

The other person. Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, that's not a shoot, dude. That's just. Congratulations. Yeah, congratulations.

[Shane Topped]

And that happens to everyone in la, like every week.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, I, I have literally. I literally one time, I think it was the wrap. Like we were just having a dinner for so random. And it was just kind of like a celebratory dinner at Benihana. And so I show up to the Benihana in a different way, different part of town. Like, I'm an hour away and they're like, yeah, we're about to start eating here. And I was just like, yeah. And I drove and I managed to like drive all the way across LA and get there before some other people because people just show up so late. But yeah, that's happened to me before for not as cool of a reason. It didn't have as happy of an ending.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah. It didn't end with a relationship.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah. Yeah. You're trying to submit a shoe, dude, and you're happy. Can't have a shoe, dude. You're happy.

[Shane Topped]

You won in that scenario. You were the. You were the top dog. You were at the correct.

[Courtney Miller]

That's a congrats, dude.

[Shane Topped]

That's a congrats, buddy.

[Garrett]

But even the other guy ended up happy.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

They both ended up having tough.

[Shane Topped]

Not a shoot.

[Courtney Miller]

That was 15 minutes. That was 15 minutes.

[Garrett]

You had to wait for 15 minutes. Not bad.

[Shane Topped]

That is scary. Like, almost thinking you're getting catfished, though.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

That has to be friends of mine.

[Shane Topped]

That fear, like, where I have a friend from who's a. Who's a YouTuber who was doing Tinder or whatever and like someone got in the car that was just not. And they were just quiet and didn't and didn't acknowledge it. And he was like, okay, okay, I guess we're just gonna do this date.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm fascinated by catfish.

[Garrett]

I know.

[Courtney Miller]

I'm fascinated by it. I don't understand it. I'm fascinated.

[Shane Topped]

Have you guys ever had an experience somewhat close to this or, like having an almost catfishing or ghosting date or have you.

[Courtney Miller]

The only thing that I think of is I just. I have shown up so early.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

I just show up so early to shit. I just. Yeah.

[Garrett]

I think I've had a date tell me halfway through that they were going to ghost me after. I don't know if that even counts as ghost.

[Shane Topped]

Like, what. They were. They had already met you and were like, yeah, I'm going to ghost you.

[Garrett]

Yeah, she. Well, what she said was, look, I. I usually will ghost if I don't think it's working, but you're. You seem like a nice guy, so I'm going to tell you right now, I'm going to ghost you after this.

[Courtney Miller]

This.

[Garrett]

I was like, okay, do you want another beer?

[Courtney Miller]

A.

[Garrett]

I mean, I. It was. It was like. I don't. It was a ridiculous. She was a lawyer. I was cat sitting. Like, I had no money. I was just like, cat sitting.

[Courtney Miller]

Just.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

That's just a weird way of saying it.

[Garrett]

I know, I know.

[Courtney Miller]

She could have just said, oh, I'm not interested in this going so.

[Shane Topped]

But she was sticking around.

[Courtney Miller]

It's a weird thing to say. Like, I'm going, catfish.

[Garrett]

I think we split. I think we split it also.

[Courtney Miller]

That's not ghosting.

[Garrett]

I know, I know.

[Courtney Miller]

That's not technically ghosting. She goes, hey, I'm letting you know that I'm gonna stop talking to you. No. Then you're saying, I'm gonna stop talking to you.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Courtney Miller]

Ghosting is not.

[Shane Topped]

Did she use the term ghost?

[Garrett]

She did. She did.

[Courtney Miller]

That's a. That's a weird individual. I know, but, I mean, that's a strange person.

[Shane Topped]

I object.

[Garrett]

Yes. Well, she was a lawyer.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah. As I say, I object, but, I.

[Garrett]

Mean, we had a weird poet in common that we liked on our Tinder profiles, so we.

[Courtney Miller]

Okay.

[Garrett]

Yeah.

[Shane Topped]

It was, like a good time. At least. Did that. Did that leave.

[Garrett]

It was a good conversation with you.

[Shane Topped]

Or did it make it?

[Garrett]

Yeah, well, because, like, at the start, I was like, oh, no, she's not gonna be into me. She's, like, successful, and I'm a cat sitter. Kevin's given the.

[Shane Topped]

I don't want to end it. I like talking to them. You gotta end it.

[Garrett]

You got to say goodbye.

[Courtney Miller]

Courtney. Courtney, it's time.

[Garrett]

I. I want to keep talking, too.

[Shane Topped]

I want to keep talking to my boys. Fine. If you have a shoot dude that you would like to submit that's better than this one, we have an email that is shoot dude, smosh dot com. That is S-H-O-O-T d o o d smosh dot com if you don't know how to smell smosh, smell smosh.

[Courtney Miller]

That's right.

[Shane Topped]

Congrats on your relationship and subscribe. Garrett, thanks for coming on this podcast.

[Garrett]

Thanks for having me.

[Shane Topped]

Yeah, it's really fun to get people from behind, behind the scenes and somewhat. A little bit in front of the scene.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah, a little bit.

[Garrett]

Yeah. And I'm glad I got to clear up some assumptions.

[Courtney Miller]

Exactly. Garrett is our true wild card. There's still too much mystery about him.

[Garrett]

Thank you. Thank.

[Courtney Miller]

Please keep assuming everything about Garrett.

[Shane Topped]

Always stay assuming.

[Courtney Miller]

Yeah.

[Shane Topped]

Guys, we have podcasts to come out every week. On Wednesdays the audio comes out if you want to listen to us while you're doing dishes or just walking around outside not knowing where you're going. And on Fridays we have the video version where you get to see our lovely outfit fits and our cute hair and just us looking at each other uncomfortably. That's the video version comes out Every Friday on YouTube on our Smoshcast channel. Subscribe or I will hit you if you guys want to be a part of these questions and or assumption submissions or things like that. Surveys we take all the time. Follow us on social media. We do it on Instagram, we do it on Twitter. And if you don't want to miss them, I would turn on the notifications because sometimes I think we pick a lot of the. The first ones we see or things like that that. So make sure you're involved because we we really love interacting with you guys and we love seeing more and more people doing that.

[Courtney Miller]

Right.

[Shane Topped]

Anything you want to shout out, Garrett?

[Garrett]

Yeah, no.

[Shane Topped]

You don't have an album coming out?

[Garrett]

No. Kombucha tape. Kombucha tape. I'm working on the new land of Kombuchas. No, I don't have anything going on. New edit or edits coming up. They're gonna be coming out if anybody want to read wants to read my pilot. I've written you during quarantine.

[Courtney Miller]

Oh, that's great.

[Garrett]

Yeah, thank you.

[Courtney Miller]

Well, that's a good note to end it on.

[Shane Topped]

I love you guys.

[Courtney Miller]

Love you guys. Bye.

[Garrett]

Bye.

[Ryan Seacrest]

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[Courtney Miller]

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