Podcast Summary: Smosh Mouth – S2: #88 - The One About Friendship

Release Date: November 11, 2020

Introduction

In episode #88 of Smosh Mouth, the hosts delve deep into the multifaceted topic of friendship. Courtney, Olivia, Jackie, and Keith engage in heartfelt discussions, sharing personal experiences and insights on maintaining, evolving, and sometimes ending friendships. The conversation navigates through the complexities of growing apart, handling toxic relationships, understanding love languages, and fostering deep, meaningful connections.

1. Navigating Growing Apart in Friendships

Timestamp: [05:47]

The episode kicks off with a listener question from ill will 2003 about knowing when it's time to move on from a friend who has grown apart. The hosts explore the natural evolution of friendships, emphasizing that it's a common and healthy part of life.

• Jackie: "There are friends that are only met for a certain period of time or a certain period of your life... there are people that you move through. You just continue to move through life. And, like, not everyone goes with you." [06:49]

• Courtney: Highlights the importance of recognizing when memories are valuable but the friendship no longer aligns with one's current self, advising to assess the positive impact on one's life versus the desire to remain part of the friend's.

• Olivia: Shares her perspective on core values maintaining friendships despite different life paths. "If their core values are still the same, I'm still going to love them the same way because that stuff is consistent." [07:16]

2. Recognizing When to End a Friendship

Timestamp: [05:47] to [12:15]

The discussion shifts to identifying signs that a friendship may need to end. Keith introduces the concept of emotional disconnect:

• Keith: "It comes from your spirit... Your eyes don't light up when I come in a room." [08:20]

The hosts emphasize the importance of honest communication in these situations.

• Courtney: "Friendship breakups are a lot harder or are kind of worse than relationship breakups because friendships, you just kind of... you couldn't. You can just stay friends and just not hang out as much or whatever." [09:18]

Jackie recounts a personal experience where a friend's new relationship led to her being sidelined, illustrating the emotional toll of such dynamics.

3. Dealing with Toxic Friendships

Timestamp: [21:57] to [43:52]

A listener, Hungry Shane, poses a question about feeling toxic in a friendship, expressing fears of being too scared to show care. The hosts tackle the stigma around labeling oneself as toxic.

• Olivia: "I think you're not a toxic person giving yourself toxic thoughts." [24:12]

The conversation broadens to defining toxicity in friendships, with Jackie describing it as an "energy vampire" that takes more than it gives.

• Jackie: "Someone that's not building you up. It's like someone that's not filling your bucket." [22:54]

Keith shares his firm stance on not maintaining friendships with individuals who identify as racist, underscoring the importance of aligning with friends who share mutual respect and values.

• Keith: "You know what I mean? Like, I can't be friends with that." [38:32]

4. The Impact of Romantic Relationships on Friendships

Timestamp: [16:20] to [21:18]

The hosts discuss how entering new romantic relationships can strain existing friendships. Courtney reflects on a controlling past relationship that hindered maintaining friendships outside of that partnership.

• Courtney: "I personally wasn't even seeing my family... So being in that position, trying to talk to those friends who have been in the same scenario, I would at least try and really address it." [17:52]

Olivia and Jackie share strategies for balancing romantic and platonic relationships, emphasizing open communication and setting healthy boundaries.

5. Understanding Love Languages in Friendships

Timestamp: [27:26] to [30:50]

A segment explores how different love languages play a role in friendships. The hosts discuss their personal love languages—ranging from gift-giving and quality time to words of affirmation—and how recognizing these can strengthen bonds.

• Jackie: "My love language is words of affirmation... I want us to feel good together." [29:25]

• Courtney: Expresses her appreciation for quality time and physical affection, highlighting how small gestures like gifts can nurture friendships. "I love giving affection, but it's also one of those things where I'm not trying to invade people's space." [30:05]

6. Building Deep and Meaningful Friendships

Timestamp: [43:47] to [66:31]

The conversation transitions to creating deeper connections. Courtney shares her journey from being an afterthought in friend groups to actively seeking and nurturing meaningful relationships.

• Olivia: "I've found my personal friends through that journey... We care about each other, we care about the world." [29:03]

Keith emphasizes the importance of being authentic and open to vulnerability in friendships, fostering trust and long-lasting bonds.

• Keith: "My love language is words of affirmation. I like to lift up my friends... We're friends for life." [29:25]

The hosts encourage listeners to host gatherings, engage in shared interests, and invest time in understanding each other's values and aspirations to cultivate enduring friendships.

Conclusion: Celebrating and Valuing Friendships

Throughout the episode, the hosts affirm the significance of valuing and nurturing friendships. They highlight the role of honesty, mutual respect, and shared values in maintaining strong connections. Personal anecdotes and collective insights offer listeners practical advice on navigating the ups and downs of friendships, fostering a supportive and loving circle.

• Courtney: "You deserve to have a place where you don't have to be on for people... You deserve to have that group of friends where you can be vulnerable." [61:25]

• Olivia: "We have a safe space... we're friends for life." [54:21]

The episode wraps up with heartfelt acknowledgments and shout-outs to friends who have significantly impacted their lives, reinforcing the episode's central theme: the enduring power of true friendship.

Notable Quotes:

1. Keith: "If you want your friend to be your friend still, if you feel like some energy is like coming in between, just say something. All you have to do is just speak up." [08:35]

2. Olivia: "I think for me, consistent core values bring us together, even if our worlds are completely different." [07:16]

3. Jackie: "You need to have friends that go to your funeral and your wedding, that celebrate you and can go through the bad times with you." [60:26]

4. Courtney: "You deserve to have a place where you don't have to be on for people. You deserve to have that group of friends where you can be vulnerable." [61:25]

5. Keith: "People should treat you good. They should make you feel good. Their eyes should light up when you come into the room." [13:43]

This episode of Smosh Mouth serves as a comprehensive guide to understanding and nurturing friendships in various stages and circumstances. The hosts' candid conversations provide both empathy and actionable advice, making it a valuable listen for anyone seeking to strengthen their social connections.