A Word To The Wise | Reading Reddit Stories

Summary

Smosh Reads Reddit Stories

Episode: “A Word to the Wise | Reading Reddit Stories”
Host: Shayne Topp (with Chance, Chris, and guest Austin James)
Date: November 8, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode of “Smosh Reads Reddit Stories” focuses on the theme of “advice.” Host Shayne Topp and his guests sift through a series of Reddit posts from advice-related subreddits, offering their signature blend of humor, relatability, and genuine consideration. The conversation jumps from hilarious family misunderstandings to AI-written wedding vows, unexpected animal encounters, and the complexities of modern relationships, all revealing how tricky giving (and following) advice can be.

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Main Topics and Key Insights

1. The Difficulty of Giving Advice (01:28–02:56)

• Personalizing Advice: The hosts reflect that giving good advice is often more about sharing what they would do in a situation, but recognize everyone’s circumstances are different.
• Reddit’s Overconfidence: “Some of the advice you see on Reddit is like, hardcore. Like, here is the only answer. It’s like, damn, you’re...certain and different.” – Shane (02:38)
• Privilege and Experience: Point made that advice often doesn't translate well across life circumstances.

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2. Story: “Do I Tell My Brother What His ‘I Love Cream Pies’ Shirt Means?” (03:23–10:21)

[Reddit: r/Advice]

• Situation: A high school junior receives a shirt from his mom (“I love cream pies”), oblivious of the adult innuendo, leading the older sibling to ask if they should intervene.
• Hosts’ Takes:
  • Chance: Suggests playing dumb: “All you have to do is be like, I think they spelled it wrong.” (05:45)
  • Chris: Proposes just taking the shirt and letting it “disappear” to avoid confrontation. (07:10)
  • Shayne: Notes the brother’s age and likely awareness: “A boy who’s a junior in high school...he’s like, dude, do you know what your shirt means? I do.” (09:35)
• Result/Update: The brother does know the meaning and was playing along not to embarrass their mother. He doesn’t plan to wear it outside the house.
• Memorable Quote: “Like, little pervert. Sequel to Little Women: Little Pervert.” – Shane (10:03)

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3. Story: “Caught Using AI to Write Wedding Vows” (11:33–20:49)

[Reddit: r/relationship_advice]

• Situation: Man’s fiancée catches him reading wedding vows written by ChatGPT; she’s furious and walks out on the wedding.
• Hosts’ Discussion:
  • Respect for the Moment: The group is unanimously critical of using AI for something so personal. “She wants you.” – Chance (15:53)
  • AI’s Limitations: They agree AI-generated text can never match authentic emotion. “Your vows are gonna sound like some perfect encapsulating thing, and it’s not.” (15:51)
  • Societal Impact: Broader discussion about AI’s role in relationships and communication: “You're outsourcing how much you care about your partner to a machine...” – Unattributed Redditor, read by Shane (18:16)
  • Resolution: The poster intends to try again, writing vows from the heart and repairing the relationship.
• Memorable Quotes:
  • “It’s not yours. It’s just my belief on it...I don’t know, I think it’s sad.” – Shane (19:12)
  • “I have never once opened ChatGPT.” – Chris (22:23)
• Notable Moment: Timestamps (12:45–20:49)

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4. Story: “Problem With a Seagull at Work” (24:28–28:39)

[Reddit: r/advice]

• Situation: A line cook is routinely harassed by a seagull ("the Pestilence") who steals his cigarettes.
• Hosts’ Advice:
  • Quit Smoking: Multiple hosts say the best advice is to stop smoking, noting that the seagull may be doing him a favor. (26:03)
  • Humor and Absurdity: The story’s surreal angle provides plenty of laughs (“Start vaping...I want to see a seagull smoke a cigar.” – Shane, 26:41)
• Summary: Reddit commenters suggest scare tactics or simply quitting smoking. The OP is ultimately grateful for the laughs and support, planning to keep fans updated on the seagull.
• Memorable Quote: “The seagull’s kind of like smoking people.” – Shane (26:07)

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5. Story: “Hired an Escort; Now We’re Hanging Out” (29:17–40:22)

[Reddit: r/relationship_advice]

• Situation: A man hires an escort as a wedding date; she keeps in touch after the event and initiates hanging out for free. He’s confused about her intentions.
• Hosts’ Discussion:
  • Cluelessness: The man initially fails to see she genuinely likes him, sparking much laughter. “This guy’s dumb as shit dude. So is she, like, is her life in danger? Like why is she talking to me?” – Shane (31:47)
  • Social Stigma and Sex Work: Honest reflection on how sex workers are treated, with hosts advocating for respect and empathy.
  • Update: They realize mutual attraction, start dating, and discover a healthy, supportive relationship. “A few days ago, I even met a few of her escort friends. And guys, seriously, don’t judge anyone for what they do.” (37:42)
• Notable Quotes:
  • “She’s a lot more emotional and likes being held a lot. Like, if I’m just laying on the couch, she’ll walk in and yell Huggies and lay on me.” (37:42)
  • “Why are we protecting the people who are doing the bad thing and protecting the people who are just trying to be good at something?” – Chance (42:16)
• Memorable Moment: The hosts praise the OP’s progress and highlight the frequent shaming of sex workers.

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6. Story: “Are We Dating the Same Guy? Facebook Group Drama” (43:17–51:47)

[Reddit: r/relationship_advice]

• Situation: A man’s old dating profile is posted in a local “Are we dating the same guy?” group by (he suspects) a salty ex, causing turmoil with his current girlfriend.
• Hosts’ Practical Advice:
  • Report the Post: Chance suggests flagging the post to Facebook/Meta. (45:53)
  • Trust in the Relationship: They commend the current girlfriend for calmly bringing the evidence to her partner and working through the issue together.
  • Don’t Respond to Drama: The hosts agree it makes no sense to contact the ex.
• Comments/Resolution: The couple plans to contact admins to clarify, showing a united front. The hosts reflect on how public venting about exes is often “embarrassing.”
• Notable Quote: “The best thing you can do is continue on with your life.” – Shane (53:09)

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7. Story: “Told Girl I’ve Been Running—She Wants to Run With Me” (53:31–57:08)

[Reddit: r/advice]

• Situation: A man lies about running to impress a girl, who then wants to go running with him. The twist: she’s a national triathlete.
• Hosts’ Solutions:
  • Chance: “Run the 3.6 miles. You duck your own grave now, lion.” (54:24)
  • Chris: Suggests blaming a hangover for a slow pace. (54:30)
  • Shane: Advises starting to train for real or coming clean about the lie.
• Update: OP plans to attempt the run, utilizing his past as a wrestler.
• Memorable Quote: “It’s a great opportunity to build a new healthy habit...that was born out of a lie.” – Chris (55:46)
• End Note: The panel wonders if he survived the run, noting the risks of lying to impress others.

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Notable Quotes and Moments

• On advice: “You give the advice of what you would do in their situation. Yeah, they’re a different person.” – Shane (01:51)
• On using AI: “She wants you.” – Chance (15:53)
• On the escort story: “This guy’s dumb as shit dude.” – Shane (31:48)
• On social stigmas: “Her friends were some of the nicest people I’ve met...don’t judge anyone for what they do.” – (37:42)
• On past relationships/public drama: “The best thing you can do is continue on with your life.” – Shane (53:09)
• On lying to impress: “It’s a great opportunity to build a new healthy habit...that was born out of a lie.” – Chris (55:46)

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Timestamps for Key Stories

• Opening and Philosophy on Advice: 01:28–02:56
• Cream Pie Shirt Story: 03:23–10:21
• AI Wedding Vows: 11:33–20:49
• Seagull At Work: 24:28–28:39
• Escort Turns Into Relationship: 29:17–40:22
• Facebook Group Cheater Drama: 43:17–51:47
• Running Lie Exposed: 53:31–57:08

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Tone and Style

The conversation is lively, irreverent, and self-deprecating. The hosts balance mockery and warmth, often poking fun at clueless Redditors but always circling back to empathy and practical insight. Running gags, quick quips, and nerd references (e.g., Runescape) keep the atmosphere light even during more serious discussions.

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Episode Takeaways

• Advice is hard to give and receive—context is everything.
• Authentic connections matter in relationships; shortcuts (like AI) can backfire.
• Humor can help us process even the weirdest dilemmas (e.g., nicotine-addicted seagulls).
• Social stigmas, especially around sex work, deserve to be challenged with empathy and respect.
• Don’t lie to impress—but if you do, be prepared to back it up (or face the consequences)!
• Sometimes, the best solution is the simplest: communicate honestly, take responsibility, and, when possible, laugh at yourself.

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For more hilarious takes on the weirdest corners of the internet, catch new episodes of Smosh Reads Reddit Stories every Saturday!

Transcript

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Commentator Chris]

80% water.

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[Host Shane]

Oh, let me make an announcement. Attention shoppers. If you want a real deal, try Tide pods.

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[Host Shane]

Hi, welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories. I'm Shane and today's theme is advice. We're taking questions from all the advice subreddits and I'm joined by two people who you should take all your advice from. Wait, Mr. Shane. I have eyelash in my eye. I think Trevor, who has an eyelash.

[Co-host Chance]

In his eye, and chance 23M. No eyelash in eye.

[Host Shane]

Trevor got his eyelash out.

[Commentator Chris]

Thank you.

[Host Shane]

Thank you, everyone.

[Commentator Chris]

Sorry.

[Host Shane]

Huge moment.

[Commentator Chris]

Apologize.

[Host Shane]

Do you guys think you give good advice?

[Co-host Chance]

No. Shane. Okay. I feel like. I feel like I just give like what I would do.

[Host Shane]

But fair.

[Co-host Chance]

That's not the best advice. I feel like, yeah, that's fair. Yeah.

[Commentator Chris]

I think I give, I try to. I give like an honest effort at trying to give good advice, but, you know, I'm not a perfect person. And so if something bad happens to someone that I've given advice to, then that's not my fault.

[Host Shane]

I think that's a good point though. Cause I think our initial views is like, you give the advice of what you would do in their situation. Yeah, they're a different person.

[Co-host Chance]

They're a different person.

[Host Shane]

So it's like, what is the best advice for them?

[Guest Austin James]

Yes.

[Host Shane]

Yeah, for sure.

[Co-host Chance]

That's when you get like, I might give good advice to friends because I know them so well and I'm like, oh, I understand your kind of situation better than just some omniscient. Cause when you don't know the person. Like, these Reddit stories, it's like, well, I don't know your whole thing, but.

[Host Shane]

I can just tell you, based on.

[Co-host Chance]

My experience, what I would do. Right.

[Commentator Chris]

Also, if you haven't experienced the situation before, it's kind of hard. Like, if you've done something and it's like, oh, I went through that exact same thing. Like, you have experience, but, like, people on Reddit probably are just going on there, like, they haven't ever done anything. They're like, well, here's what you should do.

[Host Shane]

Yeah.

[Co-host Chance]

Yeah.

[Host Shane]

Oh, people love. Like, some of the advice you see on Reddit is like, hardcore. Like, here is the only answer.

[Co-host Chance]

Yeah.

[Host Shane]

It's like, damn, you're. You're certain and different.

[Co-host Chance]

Yeah, different. People can move around the world in different ways based on their privilege and.

[Host Shane]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yeah.

[Host Shane]

All right, well, let's see what advice people are looking for.

[Co-host Chance]

Like, I move around the world like a badass motherfucker.

[Commentator Chris]

I prefer the aeroplane.

[Host Shane]

Yeah. I prefer boat. Oh, teleporter. It's kind of the same thing. Yeah. All right, our first advice question. This comes from the subreddit Advice. Just general.

[Co-host Chance]

Just looking for advice.

[Host Shane]

All right. This was posted on Christmas Day of last year.

[Co-host Chance]

Okay.

[Host Shane]

Do I tell my little brother what his I love cream pies shirt really means?

[Co-host Chance]

No.

[Host Shane]

Is there more context? Audible reactions from everybody in the room? Dude. My younger brother is a junior in high school, great grades, involved with his church. Upstanding kid.

[Co-host Chance]

He knows what it means.

[Host Shane]

One of his favorite snack foods are Little Debbie oatmeal cream pies. My mom knows this and got him a shirt that reads I love cream pies. Mind you, the Little Debbie oatmeal cream pies, that's C R E with the, like, little apostrophe above it. M E pies. The shirt says I love cream pies. That's C R E A M. Just so you know, not referencing the Little Debbies.

[Commentator Chris]

What is it referencing?

[Host Shane]

I don't know. Oh, being on the Internet too much. I know what a cream pie is. However, my mom and my little brother have no idea what that means. I am pretty sure it is one of those dirty shirts that is pretending to be innocent, but my poor family is too innocent to realize it. I would hate for my little brother to be made fun of by his friends or for my family to scandalize their local church group. On the other hand, I would hate to ruin Christmas by pointing this out. Do I tell my little brother the true meaning behind his shirt? The true meaning of Christmas? Here's the shirt.

[Commentator Chris]

It has.

[Co-host Chance]

Oh, it has cream pies on it.

[Commercial Announcer]

It has.

[Host Shane]

It. It has some cream pies on it.

[Co-host Chance]

But it also says it has the cookie cream pies on it.

[Host Shane]

It has the cookie cream pies on it. But it also does just say, I love cream pies underneath it. I think it's meant to be like, but, oh, I'm referencing this. But I'm not.

[Co-host Chance]

But the cookie is there, so I think the cookie's there.

[Host Shane]

I think it's a shirt that arguably, like, at his church and at school, the teachers or people, like, authorities would not get him in trouble, but other students would definitely laugh at me.

[Co-host Chance]

Okay, watch this.

[Host Shane]

I have it.

[Co-host Chance]

I've got it. Shane. Ok. I think I am good at advice now because this is what I would do, but I think it's really good advice for anyone. Okay. So you just go to the brother in the shirt and they'll be like, oh, they spelled it wrong. That's all you have to do. It's not spelled like the. Literally. That's all you have to do.

[Commentator Chris]

Yeah.

[Co-host Chance]

You don't have. You can play. Always the wise man to play the.

[Host Shane]

Part of the fool.

[Co-host Chance]

All you have to do is be like, I think they spelled it wrong. There's so many other things. They'll probably look it up and I wonder what that means.

[Host Shane]

Lead them to water.

[Co-host Chance]

Don't pour water down their throat. Okay. Or water on their face.

[Host Shane]

And what if he's like, well, I don't care if it's not spelled correctly. I love this shirt. Then you need to be like, they're referencing splooge, dude, not splooge. I think what you do is you.

[Commentator Chris]

Pull up a video and you go, dude, your shirt. I heard you love cream pies.

[Co-host Chance]

Show them a cream pie.

[Commentator Chris]

Yeah, show them a cream pie.

[Co-host Chance]

Do you know what that means?

[Host Shane]

Do you know?

[Commentator Chris]

Be like, dude, me too.

[Host Shane]

Just get, yeah, mom got you that shit. That's the problem. That's the problem is he's gonna go to high school.

[Co-host Chance]

Yeah.

[Host Shane]

And his friends are gonna be like.

[Co-host Chance]

He'S a junior in high school.

[Host Shane]

He's a junior in high school. His friends are gonna be like. Or his friends or not friends are gonna be like, your mom got you that shirt.

[Guest Austin James]

Ha.

[Co-host Chance]

He probably won't tell them that his mom got him the shirt.

[Host Shane]

Or he might if he doesn't realize.

[Co-host Chance]

And what if they think he's cool?

[Commentator Chris]

This is really tough. Cause there obviously is the plausible deniability that. Yeah, you wouldn't know what it means. I think the Solution is to. If you're home for Christmas, like for the holiday, at some point he has to take the shirt off. I think you steal it and just.

[Host Shane]

Let them just burn it in front of him.

[Commentator Chris]

I think you steal it, get rid of it and then you don't have to tell anyone. And then it's like, oh, like I lost that shirt or oh, who knows what happened to it. And then if mom gets him another one, then it's like, ah, well, it's just over.

[Host Shane]

There's also the other aspect of just like he's gonna go try to tell his bro and his brother's gonna be like, dude, of course I fucking know. Like, I wasn't gonna wear this to school. Like I was just telling mom that I liked it and I'm gonna like pretend I don't know.

[Commentator Chris]

Did he get this shirt as a gift at this Christmas?

[Host Shane]

Yeah, it was a gift. It was a gift for Christmas, which this is posted on Christmas Day. So literally I thought he was wearing this day of he's like, dude, my brother got a shirt that says I love cream pies. And I, I think he, I'd be like, just tell him.

[Co-host Chance]

Now watch this. What if the mom knows?

[Commentator Chris]

Everyone knows. If everyone's trying to get him.

[Host Shane]

Yeah, I want him to get bullied. Yeah. Comments, Honestly. Yeah. Explain to them the joke because you don't want your brother to have a weird interaction or questioned by teachers, et cetera, et cetera. Someone said to that, how do you even explain that to a brother and a mother with a heart of gold and a pure soul? Someone said, this post is low key, making my entire day. But you definitely have to tell them. Maybe wait a day or two. But you can't let the poor kid suffer the way he will if he goes to school. In that someone said op, there is a Wikipedia page about this. I strongly suggest you pull this up on your mom's phone, hand it to her and say, this is why X can't wear this shirt to school. See, I don't know if I could tell the mom. I'd just go tell the brother and be like, just don't wear the shirt to school.

[Co-host Chance]

Like let the kid wear the shirt.

[Host Shane]

He just might get in trouble at school if the teachers catch him. If he's not fast.

[Co-host Chance]

Yeah.

[Host Shane]

We just can't catch him. And once he's in a classroom, he's safe. Yeah, it's a safe the rules of high school update. Between your responses and my little brother showing off his I like cream pies shirt to his grandparents. I knew I had to talk to him about his shirt. I did talk to my little brother late last night and asked him if he knew what a cream pie was. Turns out he did know what a cream pie was, but he didn't say anything because he didn't want to embarrass our clueless mother. He showed it off to our grandparents also because he figured they would have no idea what it really meant. My little brother said he didn't plan on wearing it outside of the house. I think I will leave the matter to rest here. Yeah, that's great. I called it.

[Commentator Chris]

Honestly. Yeah. Unsurprising. Like, resolution.

[Host Shane]

Yeah.

[Commentator Chris]

A junior in high school. A boy who's a junior in high school.

[Host Shane]

Yeah. He's like, dude, do you know what your shirt means? I do. And then he was like, you fucking pervert. You know what that means? You're gross. Ugh. Christmas is ruined.

[Co-host Chance]

He's like, yeah, and mom knows me really well.

[Host Shane]

I was like, I got you gifts, you little perverts. Yeah, you, my little perverts.

[Co-host Chance]

Like, little pervert.

[Host Shane]

Sequel to Little Women Little pervert.

[Commentator Chris]

Next year at Christmas, mom gets me a shirt that says, I love milfs.

[Host Shane]

Holy shit. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Host Shane]

For prescription only safety info found at Freestyle Libre us. Today's episode of Reddit Stories is brought to you by Zocdoc. I know you. I know you forgot to do something. You didn't schedule your annual checkup. Friends, I have been telling you about Zocdoc and how it's so easy.

[Co-host Chance]

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[Host Shane]

ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. You can filter for doctors who take your insurance and find the right doctor for whatever medical need you have. Like that annual checkup or in my case, a dentist appointment. Look, there's no reason for being stressed when it comes to finding the right doctor. You can read patient reviews and there's a badge for highly rated and reliable doctors. That's how I found my doc. And you can too. When I used the app, I was amazed at how streamlined and simple it was. I'd been putting off doctor's appointments for so long and I no longer do that thanks to Zocdoc. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com PitReddit to find and instantly book a top rated Doctor today. That's ZocDoc.com PittReddit ZocDoc.com PittReddit Back to the show. Our next story comes from relationship advice. I, a 35 year old man was caught using AI to write wedding vows and my partner, a 34 year old woman, walked out. What to do?

[Co-host Chance]

The partner walked out on the wedding.

[Host Shane]

She walked out because he was caught writing his wedding vows with ChatGPT.

[Co-host Chance]

Oh no.

[Commentator Chris]

Yeah, no, that's. Oh no, that's pretty inexcusable.

[Host Shane]

That's pretty rough.

[Co-host Chance]

Okay. How did he get caught? Mid vow she put it in too.

[Host Shane]

He was writing his wedding vows so she caught him writing them with ChatGPT. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I, 35 year old man recently had a wedding with my partner who's 34. We've had a stable and happy relationship so far and I love her more than anything in the world. The problem arose when it came to writing vows. Don't get me wrong, I love many things about my partner, but I couldn't figure out how to put them into tangible vows. I decided to use ChatGPT so I can have something well written and expressive to share at the ceremony. The thing about my partner is that she's very confrontational and no nonsense. If something annoys her, she immediately addresses it with no room for backing out. I also know that she's expressed disdain for AI in the past, but I didn't realize how far the hatred could go. I don't know how, but she immediately recognized that the vows were AI. After I had finished, she had this angry look and whispered to me did you use fucking AI to write that? I was quiet because I couldn't believe she had noticed that and she was choosing to address it while we were on full display for everyone. So you were right. She caught him as she was giving the vows. She then said that I either speak from the heart or she walks out. I literally couldn't get any words out. And she kept her promise and walked back down the aisle, much to all our friends and family's confusion. She's been ghosting me these past few days, which is atypical for her, and honestly giving me panic attacks. Most people agree that calling off a marriage because of AI vows was an overreaction and that maybe it was a sign that our relationship would have issues. But a few female friends have said that they would have done the same. I'm hurt and honestly just needed it to help make the day more special. Is it worth fixing? Well, Op, you wrote this post perfectly fine. Unless you use chatgpt for this.

[Co-host Chance]

Yeah.

[Host Shane]

So you're able to write this out?

[Co-host Chance]

Yeah.

[Host Shane]

Look, if someone. I think people can often tell, and she's gonna tell because it's just not gonna sound like him at all.

[Commentator Chris]

I mean, vows are, like, so. They're all so different. Like, some people's vows are literally like, I vow to do this. Some people's, like, during the vows, they just talk about how much they love their partner. Like, it could be a story that they're tell. Like, just something from the heart that expresses and, like, I understand having anxiety of, like, not doing a good job, but I think that, yeah, to use AI to write it versus, like, just doing what you can from your heart is. That is, like, really not. Yeah.

[Co-host Chance]

It's also. I'm wondering what these vows sounded like. Like, I know. I can almost hear that. I can almost hear the machinery of the vows. It's just.

[Host Shane]

The problem is, like, you know, it's tough, but coming from this guy, he's saying, like, oh, I struggle with, like, putting my words together. I'm like, well, then your vows are not gonna sound like you.

[Co-host Chance]

No.

[Host Shane]

Your vows are gonna sound like some perfect.

[Co-host Chance]

Yes.

[Host Shane]

Perfect encapsulating thing, and it's not.

[Co-host Chance]

And she wants you.

[Host Shane]

Yeah. She could tell immediately. That's sad.

[Co-host Chance]

It is sad also that to call out at the wedding is drama. I love it. I'm so here for it. But it does seem a little extravagant.

[Host Shane]

Sure.

[Co-host Chance]

It seems a little like, time and place, but if that. If that is a call off.

[Host Shane]

But if that's her being like, I'm not Gonna marry you because you're doing this.

[Co-host Chance]

Yeah.

[Host Shane]

Also, hey, like. But it is.

[Co-host Chance]

I wonder if they've talked about AI in other parts of their life.

[Host Shane]

He said she does not like AI.

[Co-host Chance]

Oh, yeah. And so he's using it on her vows.

[Host Shane]

It's like the most special thing that you write in your entire life.

[Commentator Chris]

And he has to have used it. He has to use AI, because there's no way you're not someone who's ever used ChatGPT. And then you're like, time for the vows. Guess I gotta bust it out now. He probably uses it a lot, and it's become a thing in the relationship where she doesn't like it.

[Host Shane]

It's also just like, I don't know. From my understanding of how ChatGPT works is that it's an aggregator from everyone else who uses ChatGPT. So, like, how do you mean?

[Co-host Chance]

What is that?

[Host Shane]

It's that it learns from us putting stuff in it. Like, it's not private information. Whatever you put into ChatGPT is now it owns that information, effectively. But it's like, so those aren't your vows. That is effectively. It's a conglomeration of what it thinks a wedding vow looks like. Right. So it's not. It's just not yours.

[Co-host Chance]

No.

[Host Shane]

And I think that's really sad. Write it out. Read it for a friend. Have them help you have it come from the heart. But it sounds like she would have rather him just say something on the spot than do this.

[Co-host Chance]

Yeah, do it live.

[Commentator Chris]

I mean, like he said, it's the most important thing. This is your declaration of love. Your public declaration of love to your partner in front of all your friends and family.

[Co-host Chance]

And it's almost like you don't trust yourself enough. You have to trust your love and the relationship enough to be able to speak right now.

[Host Shane]

And his thing of, you know, I use ChatGPT so I can have something well written and expressive to share at the ceremony. I think that's him caring more about the crowd and how he's viewed than this is just between you and her, really, like, that's all it is. You're telling her, like, if you think about the basis of vows, it's like, hey, I'm just making a promise to you. Here's what I'm promising to do. It can be so simple. It does not have to be some sort of. You don't have to write poetry, man. Like, what do you think she wants to hear say that? Comments? I'm skeptical most people told you that this is an overreaction. Let's see the vows. Someone responded sarcastically, as if it's chatgpt. Being like being with you has made me a better person. Fire emoji. And honestly, that's growth. We're killing it. Fire emoji. Someone said expressive and AI don't go together. She was able to figure out it was AI because AI doesn't have the same tone. You outsourced how much you care about your partner to a machine and you're upset she didn't like the idea. I want to say this is fake, but One glance at LinkedIn proves how using AI rots the brain and makes you incapable of critical thinking. Someone said, we are so cooked as a society if you think it's even remotely okay to use AI to write your wedding vows. Yeah, I just think it lose all. It's not yours. It's just my belief on it. I'm like, cool, man. And I don't know, I think it's sad.

[Commentator Chris]

Yeah.

[Host Shane]

Update. Okay, I screwed up. I didn't check this post for a while because I wanted more points of view instead of just getting torn to shreds. But I understand why the situation is worse than I thought it was. I've been trying to contact my partner's family to see if I can talk to her again, but apparently she's been staying out of state with her sister. I'm gonna tell her when she gets back what I heard here and that I understand. I'm also going to write new vows without AI and bring her favorite flowers and snacks. I still want her to know that I love her and know her. I will post an update when I can. Thank you all. Even if some feedback could have been a tad more Nicely put. This is a very recent post. So.

[Co-host Chance]

How recent?

[Host Shane]

Two days ago.

[Commentator Chris]

Oh, wow.

[Host Shane]

As of reading this. So by the time it's aired, there's probably been more updates.

[Co-host Chance]

There's probably been three kids on the way.

[Host Shane]

Yeah, they pump them out fast nowadays. Wow. Yeah, guys, don't use ChatGPT to write your vows. No, don't do that. So our producers have mentioned that there's been a lot of Reddit stories lately of people catching their partners just using ChatGPT or AI for just all sorts of things. Like obviously talking to it in a way that now we've had the story of where a guy's girlfriend was cheating on him effectively with an AI. Like, just like talking to it romantically so much. And it's like, that's a weird new territory. We're In. But it's also like using ChatGPT to, like, form an argument that you're in with your partner.

[Co-host Chance]

It's like, no.

[Host Shane]

Like, no, we're not doing this shit.

[Co-host Chance]

I had so many boys that I was talking to. Like, when I'm like, dating and I'm like, I can tell you're texting me back with AI, it is so many boys, you would be shocked. You would be absolutely gooped and gagged. Because it is like, I'm like. And then when I get it, even, like, some friends will get in fights, and I will have to be like. Because I know that they use AI to talk to their boys that they're talking to or girls that they're talking to. I'll be like, you need to respond to me right now or I'm gonna call you. Because I don't want you using ChatGPT to try to communicate with me right now. Because it's not how you feel. It's not your thoughts. I'm arguing with a robot.

[Host Shane]

Yeah.

[Co-host Chance]

And you're completely removing yourself from the situation.

[Host Shane]

It's also just like, I'm of the belief that everything is a muscle. So your creativity, your know how like, your critical thinking, everything. So it's like, if you start outsourcing that and just being like, it used to be like, oh, I'll just Google it. Instead of, like, researching and, like, pulling out a book and learning, fine. But now it's like, oh, I need to form an argument. I'll just have ChatGPT do it.

[Co-host Chance]

It's like, no, that's a skill, like.

[Host Shane]

Understanding how you think and why you think what you think. Is this something that you work on? And then same with, like, expressing your compassion for things. Like, man, if it's so hard for you, write a draft, throw it out, write another, Keep working on it. You'll find it. But that's an ability that you have to build on, and when you lose that, when you give it up, then it's not gonna grow.

[Commentator Chris]

Yeah.

[Host Shane]

Where is your humanity? Who are you?

[Commentator Chris]

No. Well, I was gonna say I've actually. And this feels pretty insane, but I have never once opened ChatGPT. I've never put anything into ChatGPT.

[Host Shane]

I don't think I have either.

[Commentator Chris]

I just, like, even when I was first getting popular and people were opening it up, I was like, I don't know, maybe it's because I watched Terminator so many times, but I'm very much like, I don't want to talk to AI.

[Host Shane]

I don't want that shit.

[Commentator Chris]

I don't want that shit in my home.

[Co-host Chance]

Something really interesting I thought about too. If I'm playing devil's advocate. Thinking about Star Wars. Okay, let me get there. Thinking about their droids that they have. They're like, R2 has a personality to him. He's a robot, but he very much has a personality. And he's very much loyal to the programming of the people that he's like. He's like Team Anakin all the way and then Team Luke all the way. And so is C3PO. And in Star Wars, I think it's the Mandalorian, maybe the book of Boba Fett, the three episodes that are about the Mandalorian. They go into this bar and it's a droid bar. And they're like, there's droids chilling and drinking. It's like, oh, they don't really like humans there. Cause we just are used and abused. Sorry, I'm going on a tangent, but it's interesting thinking about people training their AI companions to be like little droids that follow them around without a physical form.

[Host Shane]

Yeah, it's weird. We're in the future and it's like.

[Co-host Chance]

We'Re in the future.

[Host Shane]

It's weirder than we thought.

[Co-host Chance]

It's way weirder than we thought.

[Host Shane]

Yeah, we really like it's sideways Sci fi. Underplays how much dumber it'll all be too, huh. Like just like sci fi, like Terminator and Star wars and like all these things that show us, like, possibilities of technology. Right? And you go, whoa. It could look like all these different ways, like Blade Runner and all this stuff. But then I'm like, what sci fi never delves into is how dumb some of it's gonna be.

[Commentator Chris]

Yeah.

[Host Shane]

Like just how silly some of it's gonna be. And the uses. And it's like, oh, right. That's such a big part of the equation.

[Co-host Chance]

Yeah.

[Host Shane]

All right, our next story comes from advice. Stupid, but I have a problem with a seagull at work.

[Commentator Chris]

Classic case.

[Host Shane]

Yeah.

[Co-host Chance]

Where do you work?

[Host Shane]

I'm a line cook. I smoke by the dumpsters a few times a day. We get seagulls in our parking lot. It's a well known restaurant, it's busy, and tourists are sloppy with their fries. I also suspect the tourists are feeding the seagulls because it's cute, even though it's very against the rules. Regardless, the gulls do not fear man or God. They are used to people. A few weeks back, one of the gulls swooped down and took my cig I think he thought it was a French fry. I giggled and went about my day. However, it's happened a few times since. I know it's the same guy because he has a dark spot on his chest. I call him the Pestilence. I'm concerned he is now addicted to nicotine. He's by the dumpsters at the same time as my breaks every single day. This is obviously not good for him and I'm getting mad about him bumming off me because smoking is expensive. Do I try to quit smoking? I'll make noise and try to appear large to scare him off. But the Pestilence is hip to my tricks. What should I do? Are there sonar weapons such as a dog whistle type of thing that I could employ? Sorry. This is fucking stupid. I'm being bullied by a seagull. He also stole a $10 bill from my co worker. It's very rural, so we don't have animal rescues. And animal control just laughed when we called. Any advice is welcome. And yes, I am serious. He sucks. But I care about wildlife and he's probably too young to be smoking. Watch this.

[Co-host Chance]

Stop smoking.

[Host Shane]

He brought that up.

[Commentator Chris]

Jesus.

[Host Shane]

What if this seagull ends up saving up?

[Co-host Chance]

You want advice?

[Host Shane]

Quit smoking.

[Commentator Chris]

Ding.

[Host Shane]

The seagull's doing him a favor.

[Co-host Chance]

Yeah, yeah.

[Host Shane]

The seagull's kinda like smoking people.

[Co-host Chance]

It's kinda like, let's say the seagull is a child.

[Commentator Chris]

Well, I was gonna say.

[Co-host Chance]

Oh, my child keeps taking my cigarette.

[Host Shane]

I care about the child.

[Co-host Chance]

Stop having cigarettes in the house.

[Commentator Chris]

See, I was thinking maybe the seagull's more of like a spirit guide. Kind of like an animal that's coming to guide him and is trying to take the cigarettes.

[Host Shane]

Like trying to put in the kernel.

[Co-host Chance]

Or let the birds smoke or, you.

[Host Shane]

Know, give it more cigarettes.

[Co-host Chance]

Give it a bait. Give it a bait.

[Host Shane]

Start vaping. Yeah, yeah. Get a really heavy vape.

[Co-host Chance]

Yeah, one of those intense ones you have to like, unlock and shit.

[Host Shane]

Yeah, or start smoking cigars because I want to see a seagull smoke a cigar.

[Co-host Chance]

That's awesome.

[Host Shane]

That'd be cool as hell.

[Co-host Chance]

Tell the seagull not to inhale. You just like, puff it and keep it in your mouth.

[Host Shane]

Absolutely.

[Commentator Chris]

You just start giving the seagull zins. Just leave zins out on the ground.

[Host Shane]

Yeah. Comments? National Geographic says seagulls don't like bright, scary owl faces on masks or balloons. Obviously, smoking in a mask isn't gonna work, but I really want you to try a balloon. It also suggested mirrors, wind Chimes or hanging like an old CD to reflect the sun. Someone said, I say quit smoking and get that seagull back on fries and off of cigs, too. Maybe you can be quit buddies. It's so nice that you care. Someone said getting him with a Super Soaker or Nerf gun might help, but you need to check bylaws in your area, because in some like mine, seagulls are protected and you are not permitted to fuck with them in the least. So make sure you check things out before you take my advice. It won't hurt them, but it should probably make them think twice about harassing you.

[Commentator Chris]

Yeah. Dude, you wouldn't believe the seagull bylaws in my area. Yeah, shit's crazy. Those guys get away with anything.

[Host Shane]

Update.

[Co-host Chance]

Oh, the seagull's dead.

[Host Shane]

Pelican, aid him. Yeah, now the pelican is smoking. The pestilence was off today due to rain, but I am going to get photos and or videos of our goals for y'. All. I'm off a freakish amount next week, but I will try when I am in. Thank y' all for the advice and for the laughs. I've been a bit down lately, and it's much appreciated, and thanks for the awards, but please donate to Rural Animal Rescues instead. We clearly need it. Their DARE programs obviously suck and do also donate to a women's shelter. If you assume I'm a man, I'm just a mess of a woman. It's easy to get those confused. Once again, thank y'.

[Co-host Chance]

All.

[Host Shane]

I will tell the Pestilence he has fans, but again, he's a terrible listener and can't understand my accent. Have a great night and pray for me, even though we all know God is laughing at my misfortune. Okay, so not really an update. Just a thank you to everyone.

[Co-host Chance]

Where's she from?

[Host Shane]

I don't know. Just somewhere rural where there's a accent. She has an accent?

[Commentator Chris]

Hmm.

[Host Shane]

Could be, like, maybe it's like, South Carolina, like the ocean there. Or maybe it's like Florida or Alabama or something. Like right there. Southern shores. Yeah. Floribama Shore.

[Co-host Chance]

Nollins.

[Host Shane]

Yeah.

[Commentator Chris]

Nolans.

[Host Shane]

Oh, yeah. Corpus Christi. Yeah.

[Commentator Chris]

I've heard the seagulls in Nolans love to smoke. That's what they're saying.

[Co-host Chance]

Yeah, I heard they like beignets.

[Host Shane]

Beignets. And they play trumpet.

[Co-host Chance]

Jazz. Don't even get them started on Goomb.

[Host Shane]

Our next advice, Relationship advice. Okay.

[Co-host Chance]

Don't do it.

[Host Shane]

This comes from relationship advice. Okay. Hired an escort once, but we keep meeting. What do you mean I don't know. Hey guys. I, a 29 year old man could use some advice here. I have been single since I was around 23. I have little to no desire to be in a relationship and don't have any plans on getting married or having a long term girlfriend. I like being alone, especially due to my job. This however has raised questions from friends and family about my love life, especially since my younger brother is married and has kids. This started in September when my best friend since middle school got married. I was his best man and he offered to set me up with one of his fiance's single friends. I had no interest in this and assured him I would have a date. Not wanting to add any more complications in life, I decided to hire an escort who we will call Angie who's 2727 year old woman purely to keep up social expectations. We came up with a backstory that she was a friend of mine from a car club that I'm part of. Wedding weekend happens. And overall it went great. I had fun and from when we talked, Angie had fun too. The weird thing is she still stayed in touch, mainly through text. The first instance was about three weeks after the wedding when she asked me what I was doing over the weekend. I told her I was going on a cruise cars, not a boat with my car club and she asked if she could come. I told her I wasn't looking to hire an escort for a car club event, but she insisted that it was free and that she wasn't working. Since then she calls me in the evenings to talk and has accompanied me on outings and events during my job mandated therapy sessions. I told my therapist about this and he said Angie may like me romantically now. I'm not insecure or anything. It's just that physically I am fit but I'm short at 5 7. Hey, that and I generally have a colder and more stoic personality towards people that aren't close to me. Angie on the other hand is taller than me, 56 but 59 in heels, is gorgeous and has a very bubbly personality. So I put the idea of her liking me to bed. So really what I'm confused about is why she keeps wanting to hang out for free. Don't get me wrong, Angie is a great woman to be around, but could this be a tactic used by escorts to keep men on the line? Or could she be in trouble? Any advice here would be great guys. This guy's dumb as shit dude. So is she like, is her life in danger? Like why Is she talking to me? It's so funny. This guy's dumb as rough.

[Co-host Chance]

I usually have to pay people to.

[Host Shane]

Be around me, but she doesn't wanna be once, you know, for free. There's a catch, right? Yeah. I also understand, like. Cause on the flip side, there's so many guys who push too hard. Don't take no for an answer. Assume every woman's into them. And then there's guys who are just like, oh yeah, nobody. Nobody wants to date me. There's just no way. It's like, yeah, she's hung out with you multiple times since she said she likes you. Yeah, but she means it's a friend. It's like just not getting the hints at all. And this seems like that type of guy. He might also be writing this cause he's thinking it's romantic, but he is scared to admit that he thinks that, so he wants the Internet to tell him.

[Commentator Chris]

I mean, from what he said, it seems like, yeah, she just wants to hang out and get to know him more.

[Host Shane]

She wants to hang out with you? She said that to you? Yeah.

[Co-host Chance]

It's like an extreme version of can I buy you dinner or can I buy you a drink? It's like, can I take you to a wedding?

[Host Shane]

Yeah.

[Co-host Chance]

I'm like, that's an incredible first date. I'm sorry. Like, that is like, I would love that. If I don't. Especially if I don't know a lot of people at the wedding, I'm like, you just get to go to a wedding, watch these people do the thing, eat some free food and do a dance.

[Host Shane]

It's kind of sick with a circle.

[Co-host Chance]

That you already know and is vetted. Like, that sounds amazing.

[Host Shane]

Some comments here. She either likes you enough to consider you a friend or she's genuinely interested. From the sounds of it, you treated her with respect. So yeah, she's probably into you. If the feeling is mutual, then bring it up. Worst case, she rejects you and you continue being friends. So why not shoot your shot? Someone said, I think it has been said before, but she is a human too. Imagine yourself in her shoes and how difficult it would be to make friends, let alone a partner or love interest. Sounds like she is lonely and likes your company. Sometimes we don't find what we want but are sent what we need. Wow. Someone said, just ask her. Tell her you understand it to be a business arrangement, but her wanting to hang out has confused you. That feels like the best advice. Just being like, hey, like, you want to hang out for free. Like, I'm What's. Cause we started off that I hired you. Yeah, we did that under a professional situation. What is this now? And what, do you just wanna be friends? Like, whatever? Well, let's find out. We have an update. What do we think?

[Co-host Chance]

I think they're going on dates now. Okay. And he's not paying. I mean, he's paying for them, probably.

[Host Shane]

Cause he's a gentleman.

[Co-host Chance]

Cause he's a gentleman.

[Host Shane]

He's a gentleman.

[Commentator Chris]

Yeah. No, I think so. I think he seems like a mature enough guy to probably take this advice and be like, yeah, just go, like, ask her. And I feel like they've been on a couple dates, and it's nice.

[Host Shane]

I'm hopeful that. That it's there. Or at the very least, that she's just like, oh, you just seemed really cool. And, like, just like a friend. Like, that could be cool, too. Update. So I read a lot of your comments about how Angie might like me. And I took the night to think about all our time spent together without thinking of her as an escort. In the end, I'm sure a lot of guys can relate. I had the realization of. Motherfucker. She was hinting the whole time. And what made me realize was that after. Around December, January, we started doing more mundane activities. For example, I was taking my niece and nephew mini golfing, and she wanted to come along for that. Okay.

[Commentator Chris]

Well, he's like, yeah, we moved in together and we kind of started this really great life.

[Host Shane]

And.

[Commentator Chris]

God, and now I'm just realizing maybe she's into me.

[Host Shane]

Or how every. Or every other Friday, she would come over and we'd just get high, weed and watch random movies and videos after getting the munchies. Or how for the past month or two, she'd give me a peck on my cheek after we hung out. I thought she was just being nice. As for my feelings, I don't know. I've never had a crush or romantic feelings for anyone, so I wasn't sure what it was even supposed to feel like. But what I am sure of is that I like having Angie around. And when she's not, I kind of miss her, I guess. So Friday comes around and we're baked and watching Lion King. The movie gets to the part before the stampede that kills Mufasa, and Angie just starts crying.

[Commentator Chris]

Spoiler.

[Host Shane]

I asked her if she's okay, and she said that the scene always makes her sad. Then she kind of just moved over and put her head on my shoulder. The scene gets over, but she puts her blanket over me and stays there for the rest of the movie credits roll and she doesn't move. I kind of had a fuck it, just send it moment and lightly kissed her on the head. She kissed me and things kind of escalated from there. We had a long convo in the morning, and she said that back at the wedding, she genuinely had a good time and didn't feel like she was working, and that's why she asked to hang out again. As we started hanging out, she started developing feelings. Since I kind of just treated her as I would anyone else. I didn't think this was a big deal, but for her it was. And a lot of things that I did that I saw as common courtesy. Giving her my coat, helping her into my car, et cetera, were acts of kindness in her eyes, even though that's just how I was raised. When she started working as an escort, she lost the few friends she had. And anytime she tried dating, people would sexualize her when they found out what she did. So outside of her few escort friends, she had no one. When she finished school in December and became a pediatric nurse, she started reevaluating her relationships since she was no longer an escort, and she felt that I was one of the few people that treated her kindly. Even as an escort, she wanted to continue seeing me. I was a bit confused by what she said next, but she said that she felt safe and calm with me, which I didn't really grasp, but accepted. I told her that I liked her, but due to my past and personality, I might not be the kind of man she wants to be with. But she shot that down immediately and told me I was acting stupid. We decided that it really.

[Co-host Chance]

I love her.

[Host Shane]

Sorry, you're acting stupid. We decided that it really wouldn't make sense to start over and start dating, since we've spent the past few months together and we kind of just picked up where we left off. So we pretty much became boyfriend and girlfriend that day. The past two weeks have been really good. While I'm still getting my bearings straight and processing my feelings, Angie has changed quite a bit. She's a lot more emotional and likes being held a lot. Like, if I'm just laying on the couch, she'll walk in and yell Huggies and lay on me. It's a bit different for me since any sort of intimacy outside of sex is completely foreign. But I do like it. She also does a lot for me. Like, one time she slept over and I had to throw on a suit for a meeting. The next day, I wake up and go in for a shower. And when I come out, not only are my shirts ironed, but she had a pot of coffee ready and a lunch bag made. Like, who the fuck does that? A few days ago I even met a few of her escort friends. And guys, seriously, don't judge anyone for what they do. Because her friends were some of the nicest people I've met. While I used Reddit, she turned to them for adv about me over the months and they were all nearly in tears when they heard about us finally getting together. I told my family and friends that I was dating Angie and they all laughed since they thought we had been dating since before the wedding. So some of your guys jokes, comments about her being my girlfriend were right? I guess. So yeah, things are great between Angie and I. I know I got some work to do to transition into a relationship, but I'm taking it one step at a time. Angie has been really patient and understanding through all of it. And even though she's told me she loves me, she told me to only say it back when I'm ready. And I mean, seriously, thanks for all of your guys help with this. I doubt things would have ended up like this if it wasn't for you guys.

[Co-host Chance]

Okay. Why can we not? I have a question. I have a question. Okay. Why can we not pay people for their emotions or like their social ability? Like why is it so looked down? Because of the sexual. Sports are not.

[Host Shane]

I don't know, I don't know.

[Co-host Chance]

Because if they're really good. Okay, so let's say there's like really rich men who are really bad at talking to people, really bad to going to social events. If you can hire a person, it's like, yeah, this is not like a translator, but this is my translator. It's someone that I enjoy being with.

[Host Shane]

That I can be. This is my really cool guy that I.

[Co-host Chance]

This is my really cool guy.

[Host Shane]

What's up dude? I'm a really cool guy. He hired me.

[Co-host Chance]

But it's like, oh, we're gonna have sex later is why it's probably. That's why.

[Host Shane]

It's why society has its views on it, right? Like I don't wanna say good or bad thing, right? It's just like it's this thing that society is weird about and it's like this legal gray area. And then it's also this just like moral thing for everyone. Yeah, but.

[Co-host Chance]

Cause so many people in that position are abused.

[Host Shane]

Absolutely. Now we blame the people, we blame the wrong people. Right. We get mad and we shame the people who are doing the job, not the industry and society and the people who perpetrate stuff against them. Right. Like, it's not her fault that.

[Co-host Chance]

And it gets greasy when it's like, okay, this is legal, but you're not allowed to have sex with them. You can go to the event, and who's gonna monitor that? And how would you even do that?

[Host Shane]

Right.

[Co-host Chance]

But if you could do it ethically.

[Host Shane]

But what he's saying is like, hey, all these people are really cool. It's like, yeah, they're humans, man. Just because. Yeah, they're cool people. Yeah. Just because of the jobs people do is not all that they are.

[Co-host Chance]

And their job. They excel at being sociable, likable, with another person. That is their whole thing.

[Host Shane]

But I also imagine the amount of disrespect that they deal with.

[Co-host Chance]

Yes.

[Host Shane]

And beyond that on a daily basis. He sounds like an interesting man. He reminds me. He almost sounds like, fuck, what's his name? From Parks and Rec. With the mustache.

[Co-host Chance]

Ron Swanson.

[Host Shane]

Yeah, he sounds like Ron Swanson, where he's just so, like, oh, I'm not interested. And she probably was just like, oh, hell yeah. Like, I'm so used to guys who are, like, pushy, and he's like, oh, I'm really not interested in anything. And that must be so refreshing for her. There's an endearing nature to this guy. He sounds, at least on a certain level, a little asexual and aromantic. But I don't know. Like, it sounds like there's just a lot buried down, but it oddly sounds like it was a pair that worked out well. And it sounds like he's enjoying this. He's acknowledging, like, oh, I'm okay with this.

[Co-host Chance]

I love it.

[Host Shane]

Which is really cool. And he's experiencing new things for the first time.

[Commentator Chris]

And it's so funny because it doesn't seem like, from the way he talks, it doesn't seem like it's something he would have sought out. He's very clearly like, I'm not looking to be in a relationship or anything. So the way that it just weirdly worked out that they both kind of fell into it, and it worked so well. It's really sweet.

[Host Shane]

It's really cool. And, you know, the funny thing is, like, they've been hanging out for so long. They've effectively been dating for so long. What's funny is they've not had sex or done anything sexual. But I think that's this connotation she brings up of, like, just because she's an escort doesn't Mean, she's like some wildly sexual person. Maybe, like, maybe she likes their dynamic a lot. That it's not a big thing. You know, it's very interesting to me. I think it's a really cool story. I understand all the criticisms of the. Of these certain industries. Cause, like, yeah, people get taken advantage of, but it's like, so shaming the people who are getting taken advantage of. What the hell are you doing?

[Co-host Chance]

Why are we protecting the people who are doing the bad thing and protecting the people who are just trying to be good at something.

[Host Shane]

Yeah. Or doing what. They frankly have no other option.

[Co-host Chance]

Or what? They have no other option.

[Host Shane]

Which is what the case for a lot of them. You know, it's like, she does that.

[Co-host Chance]

Cause that was a job.

[Host Shane]

That was a job she needed to do to get through nursing school. And so he's like, yeah, she's an awesome person. It's like, yeah, I'm not surprised she's a person.

[Co-host Chance]

I'm saying this also as a person who is in the world of both sex workers and escorts, I know a good amount of both. And it's so interesting how they are so not protected. Like, they're not. And they're taking advantage of them. And then they are the ones who get the flack for it. Or if they post even their. What happened to them. Everyone's like, you deserve this. This happened to you because you chose this line of work. Not because. And it's not like those people did that to you. That's wrong. And they should be, like, under. They should be held to a standard.

[Host Shane]

Yeah, no, it's kind of like when people shame OnlyFans models. And then it's like, who's the dude who sent him half a million dollars? Yeah, that's who's fueling that industry. Like, let's talk about them. But we never do.

[Co-host Chance]

No.

[Host Shane]

So, all right, our next story. I got posted in one of those Are we dating the same guy? Facebook groups. So the other day, my girlfriend asked me if I was cheating on her out of nowhere. I said no. Cause I'm not and have never had a thought about doing so. She then sent me a screenshot she got from a random Instagram account of a post made anonymously in the Are we dating the same guy? Facebook group located in the city I went to college in years ago. The only thing it showed was a screenshot of an old hinge account of mine. I explained that it was an old account that I thought I deleted after I met her. All the pictures were super old. I Even redownloaded and logged in to show her there was no activity. Anyways, after doing some digging, we are pretty sure it was my ex girlfriend since we met on Hinge. You can't look up people on Hinge and if the account is inactive, it's not even shown to others, so there's no way someone randomly found it. She probably posted it after she saw some pictures of me and my girlfriend on Instagram from a vacation looking happy. X is still mad about stuff I don't feel like getting into. We think this annoyed my ex and she had my old account on Hinge and thought she could start something. A little while later, that Instagram account sent her another screenshot showing one comment saying something like, confirmed that he has a girlfriend. Cheaters are disgusting. I'm not super comfortable with being posted in there and falsely being accused of being a cheater when I'm not and have never been. So I guess my question is, should I do anything about this? Is there anything I can even do? Should I message my ex something about stop harassing me? She'll probably just deny it was her. Any advice? I already went back and deleted the old Hinge account.

[Commentator Chris]

I was gonna say the best thing you could do is then go to Hinge and then unmatch your ex.

[Co-host Chance]

But the post is already there.

[Commentator Chris]

No, I mean just so that they see it. Cause if they're on Hinge and they're seeing, oh, that's good, then they could be like, whoa, he unmatched me, so he obviously knows the bullshit I'm doing.

[Co-host Chance]

It also is giving the ex attention inadvertently. It's like, this is not how you access me. This does not flag me. This does not get my attention. This does not get my time and energy. Yeah, so my ass is report. First off, report to Facebook, to meta. Click those three dots and go report why this is me.

[Host Shane]

I don't want it here. Right.

[Co-host Chance]

I'm pretty good about taking shit down. Honestly, a lot of the time I.

[Host Shane]

Never use Facebook, so I don't know, but.

[Co-host Chance]

Or Meta in general. Oh, if that doesn't work, there's a line you can call and you can be like, okay, you can get on the phone with a person and be like, take this down.

[Host Shane]

Cool wine.

[Co-host Chance]

Like, it's harassment, it's false, it's slanders, blah, blah, blah. A million words you can use.

[Host Shane]

I have a couple thoughts. One is that with Reddit, it's always hard that all we have is what OP is writing. And they're writing like, oh, I've Never cheated. I never would think about it. I'm like, I have no choice but to take you at your word. Yeah. But what we do know is that your girlfriend is so suspicious of you, like, so intensely suspicious. And your ex girlfriend's starting this type of shit. That's a tough spot to be in. I also suspect.

[Co-host Chance]

Wait, why is the girlfriend. The girlfriend is super suspicious.

[Host Shane]

The other day, my girlfriend asked me if I was cheating on her out of nowhere. I said, no. Cause I'm not. Have never had that thought. So, okay, so the girlfriend is kind of buying into what the ex girlfriend is doing, but he has an ex girlfriend who's trying to start shit.

[Co-host Chance]

Yeah.

[Host Shane]

And he says, ex is still mad about stuff I don't feel like getting into. And it's like, well, what is that stuff? We don't know who posted this. But we do know, according to him, that it's a super old. It's super old photos. So it's not like, oh, he was recently spotted somewhere. Yeah, he's not. This is indicating that it's fake.

[Co-host Chance]

If we think about the girlfriend's perspective. Let's think about it that way before she talks to him. I just saw a post on Facebook that is, are we dating the same guy? And it's my boyfriend. Now I'm really worried. Do I go to him? It sounds like we would all be like, yes, show him the thing and go to him. Yeah, that is your partner. We're trusting them first rather than a random source on the Internet. She did that. She did the.

[Host Shane]

I think she did the right thing.

[Co-host Chance]

Going to the partner and saying, what is this?

[Host Shane]

Because this.

[Co-host Chance]

It looks wrong, but I'm trusting us to decide what this is.

[Host Shane]

Right.

[Co-host Chance]

And he's like, yeah, I don't know what that is either. Now we get to work on this together. It feels good to me so far.

[Host Shane]

Yeah. Yeah. There's really nothing indicating anything. It is weird. Whoever's doing this.

[Commentator Chris]

Yes.

[Host Shane]

It's weird that they're like sending multiple messages and really egging this on. Yes. He kind of immediately jumps to, it's my ex. But we don't know. But it would be like, who would it be?

[Commentator Chris]

And I mean, the question he's asking advice for is, should he contact his ex or not? Right. Or, like, say something to the person.

[Host Shane]

Don't.

[Commentator Chris]

I feel like at that point, it's like you and your girlfriend have worked it out. If you're both on the same page of like, okay, this is clearly most likely my ex trying to start some shit. Cause she's still mad at me. Like ha ha, let's just forget about it and move on. Don't cause it's not affecting them at all anymore.

[Host Shane]

Comments I actually had an ex do something similar. I was about six months into dating this new girl and things were going great. I posted a picture of us on a date on Instagram. My ex commented under the video, I didn't know you had a girlfriend or I wouldn't have brought you back to my place last weekend. This was a total lie and I hadn't seen her since we broke up several weeks before. I'd even met my current partner at the time. When my current girlfriend saw it, she raised an eyebrow for like one second. But we had spent both of the last two weekends entirely together so it was literally impossible. I explained to her my ex was just salty and trying to cause problems for us and my girlfriend seemed relieved. I blocked my ex fully on everything and that was the end of it. But if my ex had picked a day when my girlfriend and I weren't physically together the whole time or I didn't otherwise have an alibi, it definitely could have caused some damage. I can't imagine people being so awful like that. Someone said the Facebook page probably has a mod. Just reach out to them and explain the situation, plus show proof and they'll probably ban whoever did the post. Those pages usually have strict guidelines so that people don't abuse it unless it's run by a shitty person. Lol. I think the Insta account sending it to your girlfriend is more sus though, but I don't know how you'd look into that. Someone said the Are we dating the same guy? Groups can be beneficial when appropriately utilized. However, there are many women in them that seem to be addicted to chaos. The admins are pretty impartial and try to keep the pages respectful. I would definitely have your girlfriend asked to join the particular group and reach out to the admins to explain the situation. Just the other day my wife showed me that a hinge profile with my name was posted to one of those Facebook groups. I've never had a hinge, but frankly I'm flattered that I'm being used to catfish people. Update Catfishing is also like such a tough thing with that. It's like, well I'm talking to this guy. It's like, well have you met him in person or is that really him?

[Co-host Chance]

It blows my mind. Sometimes people are like, yeah, we just FaceTime and I don't really see them. They're like, it's like camera up. And I'm like, okay, that's the big. That you should see them. You should see them.

[Commentator Chris]

You're gonna want to see the face.

[Co-host Chance]

You have to see them before you go to the place that they live. If they don't live in the same place, they see you.

[Host Shane]

Yeah.

[Co-host Chance]

Just so common knowledge.

[Host Shane]

Okay. Update. Yeah. First, I'm not gonna text my ex anything. I had similar thoughts about that as everyone here. Just wanted some other input. No, it was not my current girlfriend that posted it. I confirmed with her that she isn't even in any of those groups. Also, I'm not trying to say these groups are bad. I actually think it's good that girls can let others know about abusive men and more. Just sucks that I'm being accused of something I didn't do. We are going to have her join the group and try to clarify in the post. We are both going to reach out to the admins and see if we can get them to have the poster banned and possibly tell us who it was. We are going to explain that the post is in a city I don't live in, a very old account that couldn't have been active, and that we think we know who did it and the screenshots she got from that Instagram account. I don't really have any other proof besides that. Anything else y' all can think of that might be helpful and that's all we have. But they did the right thing. It sounds like, at the very least, the girlfriend's not buying into it.

[Co-host Chance]

That's good.

[Host Shane]

So they're good. But it's annoying.

[Commentator Chris]

I've never dealt with, thankfully, any sort of vindictive ex situations, but one time I did have a nightmare. And in my nightmare, my ex had hacked my Runescape account and dropped all my shit.

[Host Shane]

That sucks.

[Commentator Chris]

And I literally, like, woke up and I was like.

[Host Shane]

And I looked into my Runescape account. Wow. Cause I was so scared.

[Commentator Chris]

That's the one time I was ever worried about an ex doing something.

[Host Shane]

Well, you've now told everyone your weakness. I changed my password. Now everyone knows your weak spot.

[Commentator Chris]

Yeah.

[Co-host Chance]

I don't think I've experienced that. I get sent a good amount of photos of people catfishing with fake accounts. I'm like, that's not me.

[Host Shane]

That's not me. Damn.

[Co-host Chance]

Even like the TikTok videos. And it's like, they did this to me and now I'm doing this or like this text on the screen.

[Host Shane]

Yeah. I'm like, it's embarrassing. Even if your ex was really Shitty and deserves it. I'm like, I just am like, no, the best thing you can do is move on. You're still talking about your ex and that's embarrassing. I just am like, it's always a little embarrassing when you're publicly working through it. So obsessed, you know, it's like, no, the best thing you can do is continue on with your life.

[Commentator Chris]

If you want to be a little obsessed in private and annoyed privately, go ahead, be upset in your room. But yeah, when you're going in. Gotta tell my. Gotta tell my998followers about how much I hate my ex.

[Host Shane]

Yeah, get em. All right, our final story told. Girl, I've been running, now she wants to run with me. She's a triathlete.

[Co-host Chance]

And I'm such a fragile person.

[Host Shane]

I'm a widow.

[Co-host Chance]

She can't walk faster than me.

[Host Shane]

I 28 year old male, got myself into a George Costanza esque situation here where I told this girl who's 27 I've been talking to for a few months that I've been running and training, when instead I mostly just play Runescape and chill.

[Co-host Chance]

Oh no, dude.

[Host Shane]

Oh no.

[Commentator Chris]

I've been playing so much runescape.

[Host Shane]

Oh, no, no, no. I've lost a significant amount of weight just by cutting soda out of my life and just eating healthier. So she's really bought it. Anyway, this girl is literally a national triathlon competitor and overall athletic person. Now she sent me a text saying she wants to run together Saturday and I have no idea how I'm gonna do this because she wants to run 3.6 miles together as her warmup for her long run. Do I just fall and die or something?

[Co-host Chance]

Run the 3.6 miles.

[Host Shane]

Run that 3.6. 3.6 miles, dude. Pull it together and run it.

[Commentator Chris]

No, I mean, so here's what you do. The obvious solution here is what day, what day is the run? Whatever the night before the run is, you just have to go get really hammered. And then you'd be like, hey, can we take it slow this morning? I had so much to drink last night.

[Host Shane]

I had so many beers.

[Commentator Chris]

I had so much to drink last night. Can we take it slow? Just drop the pace a little bit and then you power through.

[Host Shane]

I feel like it's just easy also just to make an excuse and just be like, I can't this Saturday.

[Co-host Chance]

No, I think.

[Host Shane]

And then you need to start running today. Be prepared for next Saturday.

[Co-host Chance]

I think he's gotta do it. He's gotta do. He said he's been doing It. He said he's been doing it. This is what you get. You duck your own grave now, lion.

[Commentator Chris]

That's when he shows up and he's like, ah, yeah, sorry if I'm a little slow. I already ran 20 miles today, so.

[Host Shane]

I had to run here to where we were gonna run from.

[Commentator Chris]

So cool down for me. I ran like 100 miles over the last.

[Host Shane]

But he's like, he's been talking to this girl for a few months. I think it implies like he is interested in her. He's saying he's running cause she's into running. So it's like, dude, when you lie, you are in the George Costanza esque situation where you lie and then someone innocently kind of calls your bluff and now you're in a bind. He was gonna have to keep lying forever. Yeah.

[Commentator Chris]

It's a great opportunity to build a new healthy habit. Yeah, man, that was born out of a lie.

[Host Shane]

You're gonna start running, but you're gonna start at 3.6 miles. That's brutal.

[Commentator Chris]

Yeah.

[Host Shane]

Fuck. Comments in quotations. I didn't say I ran far. Opie said, lmao. Thank you.

[Co-host Chance]

I ran to the fridge.

[Host Shane]

I ran to the fridge. Soda water to get water. Not soda, dude.

[Commentator Chris]

I ran from Falador all the way to Varrock.

[Co-host Chance]

Nice.

[Host Shane]

Someone said, start. It's time to start biking. Someone said, lol. This made me chuckle. Go on the run with her. The exercise will do you good. Maybe the two of you will bond over this experience and she'll find it endearing when you tell her that you claim to be a runner to impress her. Good job on your weight loss, by the way. Update. While this is a real scenario and actually my life right now, I just want everyone to know that I'm going to harness all of high school collegiate athleticism as a wrestler and just jog with her until I'm gassed. Haha. I'm going to bed, but I'll comb through the comments tomorrow and respond to the ones that help. Well, we don't have those responses. It's just. That's it. All right. He's gonna go on the run. Yeah. I wonder what's gonna happen.

[Commentator Chris]

Hey, he's gonna get level 99 agility IRL.

[Host Shane]

This was posted back in April. So he's probably dead. He probably died on that run.

[Co-host Chance]

And that's okay.

[Host Shane]

And that's okay because at least he.

[Co-host Chance]

Died doing what he loved.

[Host Shane]

Doing what he loved.

[Commentator Chris]

Yeah.

[Host Shane]

A triathlete.

[Co-host Chance]

Sick.

[Host Shane]

That was awesome. Thanks for being here.

[Co-host Chance]

Thanks for having me.

[Commentator Chris]

I feel like I didn't give any advice.

[Co-host Chance]

I don't think I gave a lot of advice either. That's good.

[Host Shane]

That's fine.

[Commentator Chris]

That's good. I think. I think it's better for everyone that.

[Host Shane]

I didn't give any advice. Thank you all for watching. You can give your advice down below on some of these stories and let us know other themes and subreddits you want us to cover on this show. And we'll see you next Saturday.

[Co-host Chance]

Bye.