Am I The Scrooge? | Reading Reddit Stories

Summary

Smosh Reads Reddit Stories: “Am I The Scrooge?” (Nov 29, 2025)

Podcast: Smosh Reads Reddit Stories
Host: Shane Topp
Guests: Chance and Angela
Theme: Holidays – “Am I the Asshole?” and other holiday-themed Reddit tales
Summary By: Podcast Summarizer GPT

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Episode Overview

This special holiday episode dives into the hilarious, awkward, and sometimes heartwarming world of Reddit’s “Am I The Asshole?”—with a festive twist. Shane Topp, joined by fellow Smosh cast members Chance and Angela, dissect a selection of holiday-season stories involving questionable Christmas gifts, bizarre family traditions, neighborly disputes, and dance-floor disasters. Expect raucous banter, razor-sharp observations, and classic Smosh antics as they react, judge, and riff on Reddit’s wildest holiday confessions.

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Key Discussion Points & Notable Segments

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1. Setting the Holiday Mood (00:59–03:32)

• The hosts kick off in a festive mood, debating when Christmas season should officially start.
• Banter about the transition from pumpkin spice to peppermint, Angela’s anti-eggnog stance, and the overlap between Thanksgiving and Christmas spirit.
• Quote:

  “I can’t always get on the peppermint-everything vibe!” —Shane (01:57)

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2. “Am I the Asshole for Buying My Wife a Roomba for Christmas?” (03:32–16:37)

• Story Summary: A husband gives his stay-at-home wife a Roomba for Christmas and is shocked when she finds it deeply offensive, especially with family watching.
• Host Analysis:
  • The team quickly points out the issues: It’s a “household” gift lacking thought about her as a person, and his self-justifying tone comes off as emotionally distant.
  • Angela notes the disconnect between the husband valuing time but not actually spending any with his family.
  • Discussion of practical vs. personal gifts, love languages, and the importance of being “seen” by one’s partner.
• Memorable Quotes:
  • “...This is another one of those stories where I don’t like a lot of how it’s written.” — Shane (06:11)
  • “It reads as just kind of like, hey, man, you need to talk to your wife is my takeaway.” —Shane (07:51)
  • “You know what it is? It’s Merry Christmas—I put a bow on your to-do list.” —Chance (15:58)
• Timestamps:
  • Story intro and reading: 03:32–05:33
  • Roundtable initial reactions: 06:00–07:58
  • In-depth group analysis: 08:03–16:37

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3. “Guy I’m Seeing Legitimately Thinks Santa Claus is Real” (16:40–27:57)

• Story Summary: A woman, joining her boyfriend’s ultra-religious rural family for Christmas, discovers they prepare a full dinner for “St. Nick,” insist he eats only at their house, and react with horror at her jokes—suggesting cultish, even supernatural vibes.
• Hosts spiral into comedic horror conjecture—Angela is convinced it’s “some demon shit,” and Shane dreams up a horror-movie plot.
• The story update reveals the poster was blamed for “ruining Christmas” as the meal wasn’t eaten—since a non-believer was present—and she’s shunned by the family.
• Memorable Quotes:
  • “This is some demon shit. This is some ritualistic. They are haunted by something. I don’t know what kind of spirit it is pretending to be Santa.” — Angela (21:58)
  • “You must go. You must go. They’ve got this master down since he was a child. They’ve got the ritual down.” —Angela (23:51)
• Timestamps:
  • Story intro: 16:40
  • Hosts react: 21:58–27:57

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4. “Would I Be The Asshole If I Put a Birthday Hat on My Neighbor’s Pumpkin?” (33:55–42:35)

• Story Summary: A person’s neighbor leaves a pumpkin on their shared porch for over a year—the pumpkin rots into a disgusting blob. Rather than clean it up (again), OP considers putting a birthday hat and ‘Happy First Birthday’ sign on it for petty revenge.
• The group debates the merits of direct vs. indirect confrontation and relishes the pettiness.
• Memorable Quotes:
  • “What’s worse than a pumpkin rotting in front of your door is a pumpkin rotting in front of your door holding a sign with a hat on.” —Chance (36:51)
  • “It makes me weirded out that they went into the trash and repurposed something.” —Chance (39:12)
• Timestamps:
  • Story intro: 33:55
  • Analysis: 36:10–42:35

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5. “My Boyfriend (30M) Got Me Pokémon for Christmas. [26F] Should I Call It Quits?” (42:55–48:59)

• Story Summary: For Christmas, a woman (who’s never cared about Pokémon) receives only Pokémon cards and packs—her boyfriend’s actual hobby—then watches him open and use them himself.
• Hosts are dumbfounded at the selfishness.
• Discussion about “the three-year itch,” and the importance of gifts as expressions of love.
• Memorable Quotes:
  • “He deserves jail time. Like, I’m barely kidding.” — Angela (46:59)
  • “So he didn’t get her gifts. He got himself something and just said…” — Shane (45:03)
• Timestamps:
  • Story recap: 42:55
  • Analysis and disbelief: 45:02–48:59

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6. “Am I The Asshole for Sitting on My Husband’s Lap at Thanksgiving When There Were No Chairs?” (49:38–61:32)

• Story Summary: Woman arrives late to Thanksgiving at in-law’s house; her husband’s ex is given a seat at the table, while she’s left standing. In protest, she sits on her husband’s lap—causing awkward silence.
• The group loves the power play, but also unpacks the husband’s failure to stand up for his wife.
• Memorable Quotes:
  • “What a power play.” —Angela (49:48)
  • “Your lap is so warm. Sorry I feel like I’m seated so high, cause your bulge is so huge.” —Shane (52:33)
  • “If you’re not respecting her, you disrespecting her is disrespecting me.” —Shane (57:39)
• Timestamps:
  • Story intro: 49:38
  • Hilarious visual reenactments: 52:33–53:39
  • Analysis and verdict: 58:06–61:32

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7. “Today I Fucked Up: Passing Gas on the Dance Floor” (61:49–73:39)

• Story Summary: A woman on mushrooms at a crowded Halloween party crop-dusts the dance floor with a fart so toxic the entire floor clears, the DJ comments, and “it’s all anybody could talk about.”

• The group cracks up trading fart stories, both IRL and from live Smosh shows.

• Banter about "crop dusting" and public embarrassment.

• Memorable Quotes:

  • “The smell from my ass destroyed the dance floor. People cleared out.” —Reddit Poster, read by Shane (63:00)
  • “This reminds me of one of our live shows…” —Shane (66:13)
  • “Your brother’s the Tony Hawk of farting, dude. He’s the goat.” —Shane (72:46)

• Timestamps:

  • Story intro: 61:49
  • Relatable confessions and banter: 66:13–73:17

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Vibe & Noteworthy Themes

• Tone: Wild, irreverent, and intimate as the cast riff on Reddit tales and their own lives.
• Major Insights:
  • Holiday traditions and gifts often mask deeper relationship issues.
  • The difference between practical and personal gifts: Know your partner!
  • Family boundaries (or lack thereof) can make or break holiday gatherings.
  • Sometimes, the funniest stories are the most embarrassing ones—farting, pettiness, and all.
• Best Takeaway: Gifts aren’t about money or “usefulness”—they’re about feeling seen.

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Most Memorable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• “It reads as just kind of like, hey, man, you need to talk to your wife is my takeaway.” —Shane, on the Roomba story (07:51)
• “You know what it is? It’s Merry Christmas—I put a bow on your to-do list.” —Chance, on the Roomba (15:58)
• “This is some demon shit. This is some ritualistic. They are haunted by something.” —Angela, Santa cult story (21:58)
• “He deserves jail time. Like, I’m barely kidding.” —Angela, on the Pokémon boyfriend (46:59)
• “Your lap is so warm. Sorry I feel like I’m seated so high, cause your bulge is so huge.” —Shane, in character (52:33)
• “The smell from my ass destroyed the dance floor. People cleared out.” —Reddit Poster, read by Shane (63:00)
• “Your brother’s the Tony Hawk of farting, dude. He’s the goat.” —Shane (72:46)

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Additional Fun Moments

• Angela confessing she once gifted her ex coal for Christmas (30:46)
• Running joke: “Just keep going” and “Keep walking!” as a reaction to awkward situations (68:49; recurring)
• Nostalgic digression into weird nativity crafts and disastrous family Christmases

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Episode Structure

1. Holiday chitchat: Setting the seasonal tone
2. Multiple extended Reddit story readings + Smosh-style commentary
3. Judgment, life advice, and real talk about relationships and boundaries
4. Spiraling into escalating chaos, jokes, and gross-out stories—ending on a literal stink-bomb

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For listeners who missed the episode, this summary captures the spirit and substance: a blend of witty analysis, personal storytelling, and the delightful absurdity of Reddit’s holiday drama, all filtered through the joyous mayhem of the Smosh cast.

Transcript

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[Shane]

Hi, welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories. I'm Shane, and today's theme is holidays. Yeah, it is. I believe it is November 29th that this is being posted, which means it's kind of the. Right in the middle of the holiday season, Christmas time. The holiday season is beginning. For many, Thanksgiving just happened. Halloween just happened, like, a couple weeks ago.

[Chance]

We're taking away our pumpkin pancake batter and we're replacing it with candy cane.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Chance]

Nutmeg, peppermint.

[Shane]

Pumpkins are allowed in December.

[Chance]

They are, but we're shifting a little.

[Angela]

Bit to a more peppermint. We're going peppermint.

[Shane]

You're doing peppermint.

[Angela]

We're shifting slowly towards the point I'm not going eggnog.

[Shane]

Oh, hell yeah. I can get on that train.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Chance]

Like, pumpkin is still a part of Christmas. But I think as we leave Thanksgiving and enter into December, we're. We're slowly doing more peppermint.

[Angela]

Yeah. Okay.

[Shane]

Okay. I can't get. I respect that for you guys. I can't always get on the, like, peppermint everything vibe.

[Angela]

That's fair.

[Chance]

I don't think that is fair. I think you have to hear her out.

[Angela]

Hear who out? Peppermint, come on out.

[Shane]

Come on out, Peppermint. By the way, I'm joined by Chance and Angela.

[Angela]

Yes.

[Shane]

Thank you both for being here.

[Chance]

Thanks for having us.

[Shane]

Yeah. And I was saying before we started this that this is the time of year that I'm most in the, like, the spirit. Like, I am in the holiday zone.

[Chance]

Like, fresh from Thanksgiving, end of November.

[Shane]

Like, first couple weeks of December. By the time Christmas Hits. I'm usually a little like, kind of like done. Like I'm kind of like burned out.

[Angela]

Oh God.

[Chance]

No. I'm making sure it's a steady flow.

[Shane]

Yeah. Oh, you keep a pace.

[Chance]

And I'm a hard like December 1st starts now. We go.

[Angela]

I'm like, as soon as I'm digested all the food from Thanksgiving, it's Christmas time.

[Shane]

Okay. Yeah. Growing up, it was like, Thanksgiving's over, now it's Christmas. Yeah, but you're December 1st, so you have a weird five day period where you don't think about anything.

[Chance]

I respect like putting up the tree.

[Angela]

She meditates, she's in the foul bath, she hibernates.

[Chance]

That's when I sleep.

[Shane]

I sleep.

[Angela]

That's the only time of year you sleep.

[Shane]

Okay, we got all sorts of holiday stories in here. Some from Halloween, probably some from Christmas time. I don't know, all over the place. But let's begin. This first One comes from December 20, 2019. Am I the asshole for buying my wife a Roomba for Christmas?

[Angela]

That's a great gift.

[Shane]

I actually think that's a pretty good gift.

[Chance]

Now is this saying, hey lady, clean.

[Angela]

Up or it's saying, hey, you don't have to do that anymore.

[Chance]

Let's hear.

[Shane]

Depends on the context. But a Roomba, like I'm thinking for myself. A Roomba, absolutely.

[Angela]

I'm like, yeah, give me a room.

[Shane]

But let's see. This happened last year, but since it still gets brought up during arguments every now and then and I just discovered this subreddit, I decided to check what you guys think. Me and my wife have two children, a 15 year old girl and an 11 year old boy. My wife has been a stay at home mom since the birth of our second child. I, a 46 year old man, work full time and earn a six figure salary. My job is highly stressful, requires me to travel a lot and mostly sleep in hotels. I only get to come home to my family on every second weekend on average. Despite working a lot, I am glad to do it so that my family can live a comfortable life. Last year I decided to buy my wife a Roomba for Christmas. My wife tends to be the one who vacuums the house, so I presumed that she would like this present as it would free her of this chore. As she unpacked the present, she was heavily offended and did not hesitate to show it, which made the whole situation quite uncomfortable. As my parents and other members of the family were also present, she argued that this should not be a present directed at her, but at the whole family, as it is the entire family's responsibility to clean up the house. Since I work and am the sole source of income in the family and she is a stay at home mother, I think it is apparent that she should take on responsibilities such as taking care of the kids and maintaining the house. The gift was intended to somewhat relieve her of this burden. I personally would have loved to have received a Christmas gift that would have somehow made it possible for me to spend less time working. As cheesy as it sounds, I think that time is one of the most precious gifts and that Roomba would have definitely bought some time for her. Time that she could use to do whatever she pleased instead of vacuuming. Unfortunately, one year later, this still often gets brought up during arguments, often coupled with her crying. So am I the asshole in this situation?

[Angela]

Edit.

[Shane]

I should also add that I would have never gifted my wife a vacuum cleaner or anything along these lines. I saw the Roomba as a robot that would fully take over this task, which is why I thought it was a good idea. Edit number two. I asked her numerous times before Christmas last year what she would have liked to receive and she repeatedly told me that she does not want anything. I was left to guess and chose the most practical gift that I was certain she would be able to make use of.

[Angela]

Okay, Shane, you have thoughts?

[Chance]

Yeah, I don't. Yeah. What do you think?

[Angela]

Okay, we're not doing this.

[Chance]

No, I swear to God. I swear to God. I swear to God.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Chance]

No, I swear to God.

[Shane]

This is another one of those stories where I don't like a lot of how it's written.

[Chance]

Yes.

[Shane]

To me I'm just like, unless she had asked for a Roomba and you're not seeing your wife much at all, it's like cool you got her a gift that's solely just like focused on like, oh, well, you're a stay at home mother. Here's something to help you out with that stuff. I'm like, I don't know. I think it sounds like there's a big separation between the two of them. He starts it off by talking about how like we argue all the time and she brings it up with her crying and I'm just like, it sounds like you guys need to actually connect on an emotional level and like be like people to each other, not just roles in your family.

[Chance]

Yeah, I think like the idea of a gift, if she didn't specify or mention wanting that, it doesn't really bring out like a closeness or an intimacy. You Know what I mean? Like, I feel like, especially between, like, two partners, your gift is something like, oh, I know you didn't think of this, so I thought. Or I thought you would never buy this for yourself. So this.

[Shane]

Right.

[Chance]

But just like, something that helps you with day to day, that you didn't express wanting, but you were just like, this will help you. Doesn't, like, bring you closer together. Like, a gift is like, hey, I thought of you when I saw this.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chance]

You know what I mean? And that's a sweet thing. But this is.

[Shane]

And they've been married a long time. Cause they have a son or a daughter who's 15, so they've clearly been married a long time. It just sounds like. And I mean, I'm not a couples therapist. I'm not in any way qualified, nor have I experienced being married that long or having kids like that. But it just feels like they've lost track of, like, what's important to each other.

[Chance]

Yeah.

[Shane]

But it just. I don't know. This reads as just kind of like, hey, man, you need to talk to your wife is my takeaway.

[Chance]

Or just like, hey, man, throw in a bracelet.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Shane]

I kind of. It makes me want to ask more questions for this guy. That's my big takeaway. It's like, hey, what else do you guys do? Like, you're never there. So when you are there, do you guys ever, like, hang out?

[Angela]

Right.

[Chance]

Yeah. Like, my dad got my mom, like, a new set of pots for Christmas recently, but it was very much like, well, you cook for me, so.

[Angela]

Okay. But I'm Tupperware.

[Chance]

See? But you knew I needed it.

[Angela]

Right.

[Chance]

But it's.

[Shane]

But it's also a matter of what? Like, knowing each other.

[Chance]

Exactly. And spending time together, which I don't think they do.

[Shane]

I don't know if there's such a thing as, like, a.

[Angela]

And it was nice Tupperware, by the way.

[Shane]

It was really good Tupperware. Oh, yeah. There's no such thing to me as, like, a bad gift, objectively of, like, that is a bad gift. Like, anything can be a good gift for if the person wants that. And that's. You're on the same page and you understand them. But that's kind of what a gift is. Right. It's like showing someone, like, I understand you and I see you.

[Chance]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And she didn't feel seen. It feels like they're not on the same page at all.

[Chance]

Yeah, I agree.

[Angela]

I'm forgiving him for the Roomba.

[Shane]

In that.

[Angela]

She didn't say what she wanted. And not everyone is good at giving gifts. So it's just like, okay, Ike, I don't. This is not my, this is not my love language. I don't do this well and I know that about myself.

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[Angela]

Book [e-mail] what I can't forgive him for is that he says time is his love language and he's not giving that to her. He's actively saying how he doesn't spend time with his family and his wife, even though he treasures it so deeply. How deeply do you treasure it? It sounds like the price of your salary is how much you treasured at that time.

[Shane]

Yeah, I don't think he says that time is his love language. He says, I think that time is one of the most precious gifts and that Roomba would have definitely bought some time for her. Like she wouldn't have to do as much around the house because the Roomba would be doing it.

[Angela]

But he's recognizing that time is.

[Shane]

Yeah, is important and he's not there.

[Angela]

And he's not giving it to her. Yeah, give her that time, give her a vaca. Say, I got you. I got us this cruise that we get to spend quality time together.

[Shane]

Yeah. I see it as, like, there's other issues going on. I agree. Yeah. I don't like his reaction to it and the way he's explaining it to us. Yeah. And then just bringing up, like. Yeah. She brings it up whenever we argue, and it's accompanied by her crying. I'm like, is that supposed to make me feel bad for you? Because it doesn't.

[Chance]

Yeah. It's also.

[Shane]

That makes me have a lot of questions.

[Angela]

Definitely. Do you guys have. Do you guys have Roombas?

[Chance]

He wants you to ask him about the Roomba's name. His Roomba is.

[Shane]

I had a Roomba for a bit. I had, like, a cheaper Roomba. Like. Cause roombas are expensive.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Shane]

But, like, I had, like, I got one on, like, sale that was really good, and it worked fine for a while. But to be honest, I. I fucking love vacuuming.

[Chance]

Oh, me too. I love vacuuming.

[Shane]

I love vacuuming.

[Chance]

I love mopping, too. I really.

[Shane]

I like cleaning.

[Angela]

I just don't do it enough.

[Shane]

Oh, yeah.

[Chance]

He wants you to ask him what is Roomba's name?

[Shane]

What's your Roomba's name?

[Chance]

Sapphira.

[Shane]

Sapphira.

[Angela]

Yeah. Named after the dragon from Aragon.

[Shane]

Oh, I was gonna say. Cause it's like a circle. No. Okay.

[Angela]

Are sapphires circles?

[Shane]

No, I meant, like the. It's. It's like a circle, so. Sphere.

[Chance]

Sphere.

[Angela]

Okay.

[Shane]

No, sapphire.

[Angela]

Sapphire.

[Chance]

Guys.

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[Angela]

That was awesome, you guys.

[Chance]

It's like a note.

[Shane]

I think, also, I agree that a Roomba is not necessarily a bad gift. I think the problem is that since they're in the same household, it can be seen as like, well, this is a gift for kind of all of us. Right? Like, it's like, oh, this is for our whole house, as opposed to, like, this is just for you. And it also does feel like he doesn't really talk about his wife as a person in this. He talks about his wife as the stay at home mother.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And how this is, like, her responsibilities is like, yeah, but we're talking about Christmas, man. Like, this is supposed to be about you guys giving gifts to each other as human beings. He does say, since I work and am the sole source of income in the family, and she is a stay at home mother, I think it is apparent that she should take on responsibilities such as taking care of the kids and. And maintaining the house. It's like, cool. So is that what this gift is about or Is this about giving her something she wants? And he's like, oh, but it's about the time she'll get. I don't know. The verdict is asshole. And I can see that.

[Chance]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And I think a lot of that is how he wrote this, and it shows. It indicates how he views his wife.

[Angela]

Yeah, it's transactional.

[Shane]

Yeah. And I'm like, dude, if a year after Christmas you're writing a post online talking about why, like, what's the deal with this situation? I'm like, man, you need to do some introspection and then also talk to your wife. Yeah, we got some comments here. You're the asshole. That's a gift for the household and not her. It shows you primarily regard her as a housekeeper and not a partner. What interests does she have that are not about serving you and the family? Yeah, someone said you're the asshole. Op. Had you realized it offended her and apologized instead of defending it, I feel like it would have been more of a no. No one's the asshole. Regardless of whether you personally would have enjoyed the gift or not. She didn't like it and told you it offended her. I see how it comes off to her that you think of her as the housekeeper and not your wife. However, you could have redeemed yourself and apologized. You didn't.

[Angela]

Yeah, there was no apology.

[Shane]

Yeah, you didn't. Which further implied the original thought of her being just a housekeeper. Someone said you're the asshole. This is a rookie mist. Husband thinks wife will appreciate a machine to make her work easier. Wife thinks my husband sees me primarily as a housekeeper and not as a romantic partner. If you want to relieve her of this one burden, that's a nice thought, but don't make it a Christmas gift. Make it a contribution to the welfare of the household. That's what your wife meant when she said this should not be a present directed at her, but at the whole family. I agree. Yeah, I agree.

[Angela]

Because it almost feels like a gift.

[Shane]

That's like, hey, reminder of all you got to do, you know? It's not. Hey, remember. Remember, though, you got it clean.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Shane]

As opposed to, like, hey, like, I.

[Angela]

You know, and it's.

[Shane]

It just kind of. I know he's not there, but it's. It's like I said, it's indications of being like, hey, I've listened to you, and I know what you.

[Angela]

Like.

[Shane]

I know what you enjoy in life.

[Chance]

You know what it is? It's Merry Christmas. I put a bow on your to do list.

[Shane]

Yeah. Yeah. That's actually you know what, Angela? You cooked.

[Chance]

Thanks.

[Shane]

You cooked?

[Angela]

I thought I did.

[Shane]

You cooked there?

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Shane]

And look, some people love practical gifts. Like I do enjoy a practical gift. But like if that's an aspect of who your wife is, cool. But it doesn't seem like that's the case.

[Chance]

Yeah, some people like gifts that they ask for and some people like surprises, but this isn't either of those. This is just something that really isn't magical or nice.

[Angela]

It's like a cool. It's like you go into like a cool tech magazine, you're just like, uh, this one?

[Chance]

Mm.

[Angela]

No.

[Chance]

Yeah.

[Angela]

Fuck.

[Shane]

All right, well, let's move on to our next story. This is a confession. It comes from true off my chest. This was posted Christmas Day of 2023. Guy I'm seeing legitimately thinks Santa Claus is real.

[Angela]

How old?

[Shane]

Okay, let's find out.

[Chance]

How old?

[Shane]

How old do you think? Let's guess on age.

[Angela]

23.

[Shane]

23.

[Chance]

I was gonna guess 23. Okay, let's make it interesting. 27.

[Shane]

I think he actually believes Santa is a real person in some capacity and thinks he delivers presents to his family. Personally, I'm probably going to leave tomorrow because it's been awful so far and I just want out. I'll call him Adam. Adam, who is a 25 year old man, is from a pretty rural area up in the mountains. Keeping it vague on purpose. And his family are what I'd consider religious extremists. He told me this a 23 year old woman came to see them for Christmas, that they were very religious as are mine, so I thought it would be similar. I'm not seeing my own family as I just have my abusive mom left and we are no contact. Oh, okay. I've only been seeing him a couple months and his beliefs have only come up minimally and Santa Claus was not part of that. Lol. Well, yeah, I don't even think we've mentioned it at all. Despite walking around Walmart with Christmas decorations, holiday stuff on shelves, and him saying he wishes there was more Christian decor. And Adam and his family call Santa St. Nick to start off with. He has a large family and we had a lot of regular Christmas Eve activities all day including cooking breakfast and dinner with his family, sitting around and playing with the children, going to a church event around lunchtime. When we went to church, his mom would shake her head disapprovingly at some references towards Santa Claus the pastor made and would whisper to his younger brother and her nephew next to her. I didn't hear what she said when we made dinner she told me to fix a plate for St. Nick and I laughed and said cookies aren't enough. And Adam shot me a horrified look. I felt the gaze of his mother and she gave me this sort of fake smile and said no hon, that's not a filling meal. So I loaded up about as much as I gave Adam and the men in his family and put it on a plate. His mom put tin foil over it and put it in the fridge in the garage. At some point, about 2/3 his family left. The children went to bed. After about an hour of it being dark, Adam's mom told them to go settle into bed so St. Nick can have his dinner and start to deliver presents. This gave me the implication that he would start his night here rather than just stop by and have cookies and leave. I'm not sure. His mom read a couple passages out of the Bible about family as we sat around their wood burning stove and we discussed my family situation a bit. Adam's dad then told Adam and I as well as his little sister to go to the guest house to sleep. It was about 9pm I changed in the bathroom and said goodnight to them and was about to walk out the door with Adam when his mom snapped her fingers and said hon, you're forgetting the most important part of Christmas. Adam looked pale for a sec before kind of nervously laughing and stepped back to the door holding my hand. We went out into the garage where he grabbed the plate. I said something like she's really serious about Santa getting his food, huh? Trying to lighten the mood. He squeezed my hand really hard and said yes, I'd say it's serious. We went back into. We went back in to microwave the meal and we awkwardly stood there in front of the microwave watching the plate turn around. I felt his parents gaze on the back of my head. I said something again. I can't even remember what kind of lighthearted about Santa having a full stomach if he eats like this at every house.

[Chance]

She's killing it. She's killing it.

[Angela]

She's really doing well.

[Shane]

Adam gripped my hand harder than he did before and the first sign of affection he had given me in front of his parents all night and said his name is Saint Nicholas and he only eats his dinner here. Don't be disrespectful in our home. It sounds calm all typed out like that but the way he said it gave me chills. His parents didn't say anything and I felt like I was going to cry. Ha ha. I left to walk in the backyard to the guest house and his sister was waiting in this mostly empty living room area. She said she started the wood burning stove and she showed me where to sleep, a twin bed next to her and said Adam would be in the next room over with his younger brother.

[Angela]

What?

[Chance]

I just laid down the brother, he's going over there. She's sleeping next to the sister.

[Shane]

Yeah, he's sleeping next to.

[Angela]

The sister's super religious.

[Shane]

I just laid down and I heard Adam come in maybe half an hour later and go straight to bed. I've just been laying here unable to get sleep because I'm so anxious lol. And I already hear movement in the main house at this point and I don't know what to think. I thought after everyone had left, mostly small children, the St. Nick talk would end. I think his family, or at least him and everyone younger, legitimately believe this is a real person. His parents are really strict and live relatively off grid and isolated. I barely have service here, so I'll see if this posts because I can't even text my friends SOS right now. I feel like I'm in a horror movie where they believe Santa is like a distant uncle or something. Does anyone know of any traditions like this? They killed a pig sometime in the last week as well as a couple chickens. And the whole family is coming back tomorrow. And maybe it'll be less weird with more people being here. A few of his cousins gave me a more modern vibe rather than the rest of his nuclear family. But I don't know. I might just head back and stay at my apartment a couple hours away alone. I don't think I can continue seeing him. It's just been so weird.

[Angela]

This. Okay, I have theories. This is some demon shit. This is some ritualistic. They are haunted by something. I don't know what kind of spirit it is. Pretending to be Santa.

[Shane]

I was gonna say, reading through this story, I'm like. She's like, yeah.

[Angela]

Ha ha.

[Shane]

Oh, they believe it. I'm like. I'm like, no, I think something's coming.

[Angela]

No, there is definitely this family. I believe something is coming.

[Shane]

Something is denying.

[Angela]

Definitely coming. And it is going to eat that plate. And you know what? It's probably gonna eat the pig too that they slaughtered that week. Maybe take some pigs and chickens. I'm Some ritual shit.

[Chance]

It's like a Christmas get out.

[Angela]

Oh yes.

[Chance]

Without all the other stuff.

[Shane]

Yeah, no, this is like. There's a few movies I'm thinking of, but it's like no Krampus. It's like the ritual. It's like a demon is gonna show up. It's like we have to feed it. Everybody be cool.

[Chance]

But what, guys? The demon also brings gifts.

[Angela]

Just go to your room.

[Shane]

Just go to your room.

[Angela]

And none of that.

[Shane]

Yeah, leave the plate out. His name is Saint Nick. His name is Saint Nick. And you need to give him a full meal.

[Angela]

If the wood keeps burning the entire.

[Shane]

Night, you'll be fine.

[Chance]

I think this is my new favorite Reddit story.

[Angela]

Yeah, I love it.

[Chance]

I need to know the end.

[Shane]

I am terrified. By the way, comments. Sounds like you stumbled onto a Santa worshipping cult. Very strange. Bizarre. Someone said, reading this at 7am waiting for my kids to wake up on Christmas morning. And I don't mean to make light of a very awkward situation, but I am laughing so hard. Someone said, if this is real, I think you should get out now. I honestly probably would have just left in the middle of the night. Hell, I'd walk if I had to.

[Angela]

Now, see, that's how you get killed.

[Shane]

If you had trailed me.

[Angela]

Right there is how you get killed. You sleep the night. And they have done this a million times. You say the night and you're the pig. If you leave, then you're the pig. If you leave, you're the pig. You're the pig.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Angela]

You must go. You must go. They've got this master down since he was a child. They've got the ritual down.

[Shane]

You know, stay there for the ritual.

[Angela]

Fuck with the ritual.

[Shane]

Just stay there for the fuck with Richard. You know how this works in a horror movie? She gets up in the middle of the night, gets in her car, drives all the way to her apartment hours, gets home, gets to her apartment, goes, oh my God, I just need to grab like a drink or something. She opens up her fridge and the tinfoil dinner that they prepared is in her fridge.

[Angela]

And the family's dead the next day.

[Shane]

And the family's dead and you're the pig. And it is Christmas morning and you got a Roomba.

[Chance]

This is some fucking wild shit, guys. This is some.

[Angela]

This is wild. This isn't sex. This is on edge.

[Chance]

I was like, this is not Santa.

[Angela]

This is not Santa.

[Shane]

The Damien on my shoulder is like, it's probably fake, but I'm enjoying long.

[Angela]

Oh, no. Yeah, something's not right.

[Shane]

This is also the thing. There are families with some weird traditions out there, and there's also cults.

[Angela]

Yeah, they do exist. Yes.

[Chance]

Families with weird traditions and cults. Small. Thin line.

[Shane]

Thin line. Um, update.

[Chance]

Yeah.

[Angela]

Ho, ho, ho. It is Santa.

[Chance]

I swear to God, if they wake up and there's fucking, I don't know, Hot Wheels and Barbies and they just move on and they open gifts, it's just normal Christmas.

[Shane]

That's worst case scenario.

[Angela]

That's the worst case scenario.

[Chance]

I'd lose my fucking mind.

[Shane]

I'd lose my mind. I need to see a demon now.

[Chance]

Yeah, Yeah. I want to be like, is there blood on the gifts?

[Shane]

The update. I'm still alive, not dead. Holidays ended horribly and my relationship is over.

[Chance]

Yeah, let's hear it.

[Shane]

Probably for the best now that I've had time away from him, talked to my friends, read comments, et cetera. I essentially ruined Christmas. St. Nick literally left the food untouched because there was a non believer in the house. And Adam's mom made a point of it being because I was there and I was essentially barred from seeing him and called a degenerate in front of his whole family a detention. Detention, degenerate, detention, degenerate. I think this is it. I can't imagine typing out another few paragraphs of the worst Christmas I've ever had, completely alone with crazy religious nuts and in my feels only for it to be called a horror movie in the making. Like, yeah, I know my life right now just sucks. I wish there was more to say or it was more dramatic for everyone wanting that, but I just don't have it in me. I wish I had a real family and relationships that don't suck. I wish I had answers for you of why his family is so crazy around the holidays and aren't normal people that let their son date girls outside their borderline Amish lifestyle? I don't know the end.

[Chance]

No, we didn't.

[Angela]

There was no. She didn't say anything about the.

[Shane]

Cause she woke up and the mom said he didn't eat the meal. St Nick didn't come because.

[Chance]

So who ate the meal last year?

[Angela]

Well, no, no, no. Who ate the meal last year? No, the mom is saying, like, St. Nick didn't eat it because they're usually unbelievable. Who eats the meal?

[Shane]

Probably the mom.

[Chance]

Who eats it?

[Shane]

Probably the mom.

[Chance]

Someone's eating the meal. Shane.

[Angela]

I think this is a Friday the 13th situation.

[Shane]

The mom is really the killer. Did I spoil Friday the 13th to you?

[Chance]

I've never seen it.

[Shane]

Sorry, Halloween's already passed.

[Chance]

Why is it always the woman?

[Angela]

Okay, that's only the OG Then Jason.

[Shane]

Voorhees comes back and starts killing people.

[Chance]

Okay, this. I need to.

[Angela]

I need someone to talk.

[Chance]

We need to know.

[Angela]

She needs to just Drop their names so we can.

[Shane]

This just sounds okay. This. This to me rides on super controlling, religious, ridiculous family who found an opportunity to just make. To control him, their son and make him break up with. Just to shame and be awful.

[Angela]

But to not have the ability to think critically like that.

[Shane]

I guess a lot of people like that.

[Chance]

There's a lot. Your circumstances, sometimes you don't have control over that. And your mindset is so limited. And you didn't choose that. It just happened because of the way you were raised. Yeah, sorry.

[Shane]

This is extreme.

[Chance]

Got real. What the hell?

[Shane]

I love that they've found they have their own religion. They made their own religion.

[Chance]

I was gonna say, like, them talking about the Bible and stuff. I was like, this isn't biblical. And if anything, the Christians are like, do not worship anything that isn't Jesus.

[Shane]

Yeah, no. Santa Claus is very much like, would Santa Claus not be sacrilegious in a weird way? Like, I mean, a lot of Christians.

[Chance]

Are like, don't be Santa.

[Shane]

Cause it is all based in American. Just based in capitalism.

[Angela]

Consumerism.

[Shane]

It's consumerism. And I feel like that's all it is.

[Chance]

What's Christian Christmas decorations? Like, is that just crosses?

[Shane]

Well, a nativity scene is probably the.

[Angela]

Religious camels, wise men. It's like Jesus focus.

[Shane]

It was always funny. Like, as a kid, we were a very Santa Claus. Like, whoa. Like, holly, jolly Christmas house.

[Chance]

You were jolly, but you'd go to.

[Shane]

Some friend's house, and it's like, oh, this is religious Christmas house.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Chance]

We had a mix of both. We'd have, like, Rudolph sitting next to, like, a nativity scene.

[Angela]

We're like, TJ Maxx Christmas.

[Shane]

Hell, yeah. Yeah. Well, damn. Not much to say.

[Angela]

I just need. I need more information.

[Chance]

When I was a kid, for some class, it was either like Sunday school or in something. We made our own nativity scenes.

[Shane]

Oh.

[Chance]

And my mom still has mine to this day. It's the most cursed thing I've ever seen.

[Angela]

Oh, we have to.

[Chance]

I have to bring it in. It's like Jesus is an egg.

[Angela]

What do you mean, Jesus is an egg?

[Chance]

I like, rolled up a piece of clay and he's an egg.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Angela]

Okay.

[Chance]

The wise men.

[Angela]

It's an egg.

[Shane]

This is an egg. And God's a bird.

[Chance]

I'm gonna bring it in. Cause it's weird looking. It looks like a Matisse.

[Angela]

A what?

[Shane]

Well, that sounds amazing.

[Chance]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Yeah. It sounds professional.

[Chance]

Anyway, I'm trying.

[Angela]

Did you guys ever get Cole? Did you? No, but my little brother did.

[Shane]

Really?

[Angela]

Yeah. Devastating.

[Chance]

Wait, and he got zero gifts?

[Angela]

He got a couple gifts, but, like, I got way more. And he got. He had to pull up coal out of his stove.

[Shane]

Oh, I've never heard of that. Actually, I've never heard of parents.

[Angela]

That's fucked up bad. Fully committed to it. It was up to you.

[Chance]

What'd he fucking do?

[Angela]

It was just bad.

[Shane]

It was.

[Angela]

He was getting bad grades. It was like a lot of things.

[Shane]

Oh, yeah. Did he fire up the grill?

[Angela]

No, that was my stepdad's job. He's not allowed to touch the grill.

[Shane]

Wow. I've never heard of anyone actually getting.

[Chance]

Cold, especially mixed with other presents.

[Shane]

Feels really hard. Some stuff, it kind of makes it worse.

[Chance]

Feels really rough thinking about it now.

[Angela]

My brother, my ex, is cold for Christmas. We had broken up and we still got Christmas.

[Chance]

You got him coal?

[Angela]

I got up. Straight up coal.

[Chance]

And that's it.

[Angela]

Yeah, I got him like, I had written like, a nice, really nice note, but you got him cold. I just remembered. I don't think I've ever told anyone. Crazy. So fucked up crazy. Also, last year I got. Yeah, last year I got my ex a Christmas present, but we'd already broken up by that time too.

[Chance]

I remember this.

[Angela]

And then I. We like, he came over to talk and I, like, had the Christmas present there and I was gonna give it to him. And after we talked, I was like, well, I'm gonna go on a walk. Do you wanna come with me? And he's like, yeah. We walked to Whole Foods and I returned his gift. He has no idea. He walked with me to return his own gift.

[Shane]

I've never told anyone that either.

[Chance]

I never told anybody.

[Angela]

That's so. I think I might have told you that. Did I tell you that?

[Shane]

I told you that?

[Chance]

You told me you returned the gift?

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Angela]

Oh, my God. I don't know which one's more diabolical, but I definitely pulled it.

[Chance]

I pulled three fucking hands of shrimp. Yeah.

[Angela]

My little brother got cold.

[Shane]

I love that.

[Angela]

It's a Christmas trick. I think my mom taught me that skill. It's like, I got that power from my mom. I was like, oh, you could actually get people coal for Christmas. Like, if they're. If they're, like, bad. If they're bad, get em cold.

[Chance]

It's a way to raise kids and make sure they have good rapport cards. I can't do it to an adult.

[Angela]

And yet I did. And it felt great. I love that. You were, like, amazing. I was like, I'm freed. I am freed.

[Shane]

I love that you Were like one Christmas I got my ex, Cole.

[Angela]

Oh, but let me one up.

[Chance]

That last Christmas I made him come returning.

[Shane]

What are you gonna do this Christmas?

[Chance]

God, they're so gonna clip that. And he's so gonna see that clip.

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[Shane]

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[Shane]

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[Shane]

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[Shane]

Let's move on to our next story. Okay, our next story is a Halloween story. This is very like, but this is also very like fall festive story here. All right. Am I the asshole October 29th of 2020.

[Angela]

Okay.

[Shane]

Would I be the asshole if I put a birthday hat on my neighbor's pumpkin?

[Chance]

Okay, well, it is because it's been.

[Angela]

Out for a year.

[Shane]

I share a porch. I share a porch with one neighbor who is notorious for not cleaning up after herself or her kids. For example, one time there was a broken longboard sitting right in front of their door that they would step over every day to get into their unit. For seven months they just ignored it. Until one day I asked the oldest kid, who's 15, a 15 year old boy, to please clean it up. He's a good kid and instantly threw it away. I told him thank you and that was that. Now I know I could have cleaned it up myself, but I don't want to assume that they didn't want it. I don't know, maybe it had sentimental value. Plus, I constantly clean up the shared porch. Throwing away trash, picking up cigarette butts, sweeping, clearing cobwebs. I have known her to swim sweep the porch all of one time in the six years she has lived there. Last year, October 2019, I bought several small sugar pumpkins and placed them on my porch next to my jack O lanterns. After Halloween, I threw all of them away in an unused wooded area next to my apartment complex so they could decompose. The next day, I found one of these sugar pumpkins back on the porch outside of her door. I know that it was one I had bought because of the particular markings on it. Okay, weird, but whatever. I'm glad someone is enjoying it. I figured she would throw it away after Thanksgiving, then after Christmas, then after New Year's. Well, it's now been a year and the pumpkin is still there. It is nasty. It looks like it has practically melted into the porch. Oh, she has put Halloween decorations all around it and still hasn't cleaned it up. I think it's gross, but left it there on principle because I'm tired of cleaning up after a grown woman. We work opposite shifts now, so I never see her. I also don't have her phone number because she is constantly changing it. I was thinking of of leaving her a note asking her to please clean it up, but I'm worried it will somehow come across as rude. So I think I might have a little fun with it. I'm considering putting one of those little pointy birthday hats on it and a sign saying Happy first Birthday over it. Personally, I think it would be hilarious and get the point across, but my husband thinks we should just suck it up and clean it up again. I don't want to do so out of principle. So, Reddit, Would I be the asshole if I celebrated the pumpkin's first birthday? Um, okay, we have a photo of, I guess the pumpkin. Yes. Oh my God.

[Angela]

I bet it's fucking disgusting.

[Shane]

It's basically gone.

[Angela]

That is disgusting. That is so gross.

[Chance]

Oh, that ruined the yard.

[Angela]

Stained the concrete pumpkin.

[Shane]

I hate to say it, like I would be someone who would end up cleaning up. Cause I'm like, well, that's a health hazard for all of us. I'm like, that's what's. What's coming out of that now.

[Angela]

And why is it not, hey, the pumpkin's rotting and it smells a little weird. Can you clean that up?

[Shane]

I mean, that's what it's like. Hopefully they would listen and do that.

[Chance]

What's worse than a pumpkin rotting in front of your door is a pumpkin rotting in front of your door holding a sign with a hat on.

[Shane]

Yeah, you know what I mean?

[Chance]

If you put that, that's not going away either. No, that's gonna be there for a long time.

[Shane]

I can't believe they had a broken longboard right in front of their door and they would just step over it for seven months.

[Chance]

That feels like a curse.

[Angela]

It does feel like a curse.

[Shane]

It also just feels like, really like it took one second. When he pointed it out to the kid, the kid was like, oh, yeah, I'll just throw it away. It's like nowhere along the line for seven months. That was an inconvenience.

[Chance]

And I'm like a literal true Libra where I'm like, it needs to. If I clean it up, it's not fair. Like, I get it. It's like, it's fair. It's not fair. But you have to keep. But you have to take matters into your own hands. You have no personal relationship to this person besides just living next to them. You can't tell them that they need to be better. You can't. You know what I mean? Like, it's not.

[Shane]

I'm straight up.

[Angela]

I'm the type of person that I'm gonna like, text them, hey, do you mind if I throw this away for you? Or I will go ahead and do it and I'll be like.

[Chance]

And you'll always be doing that.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Shane]

Cause yeah, realistically, it should be like, hey, you need to do that. But some people, like, some people just frigging don't, man.

[Chance]

And especially if those messes just disappear to those types of people, they never really learn the lesson.

[Angela]

Yeah. But I tell them, I'm like, hey, I cleaned up your longboard. Or like, I'm thinking I'm like, I cleaned out the fridge. Or like, I did the dishes or whatever. Like, I'm just gonna do it and tell you, hey, I did this.

[Chance]

But you're gonna hope that you saying that will somehow make that.

[Angela]

I hope. And it never does.

[Shane]

And it doesn't. Because clearly they're not bothered by mess. No, like, that's the problem. Right. It's like, it's one thing if someone is also bothered by mess, but then they're like, but you need to clean it up. Yeah, it's like. But they clearly. I don't know what's going on where they're. Something could be so disgusting right in their area. And they're just like, eh, whatever. I'm just like, are. Are you not bothered by this? Like, so. So Op got rid of these pumpkins, and his neighbor got one of those pumpkins, put it on their porch, and then let it rot there forever.

[Chance]

So that's his pumpkin.

[Angela]

You know what?

[Shane]

It is technically his. Well, it's.

[Angela]

Yes.

[Shane]

I mean, obviously he threw it out and then they grabbed it. So.

[Chance]

But that's his pumpkin.

[Shane]

Yeah. I mean, yeah. I mean, it doesn't. It's not even really a pumpkin anymore. No, it's a mess of mold and disgusting.

[Chance]

It makes me weirded out that they went into the trash and repurposed something.

[Angela]

I think it was in the woods.

[Shane]

It was in the woods, which is still.

[Chance]

But they don't clean. It feels like just not a. Like a well.

[Angela]

So you went into the woods to get a. I don't know.

[Shane]

They went and got it after Halloween.

[Angela]

I'm weird.

[Shane]

I don't know.

[Chance]

Maybe I'm still in the other story, but I do feel like this is also a curse and that that's not good. And they're doing something funky in that apartment.

[Angela]

I like that.

[Shane]

I think, unfortunately, I would not want to see the inside of their house.

[Angela]

Oh, yeah.

[Shane]

The verdict is not the asshole. I mean, he's not the asshole. For. He could put a hat and a sign.

[Chance]

I don't think it's gonna do that.

[Shane]

He could go way further and I'd be like, you're not the asshole. You could leave a sign on their door. You could knock and confront them and be like, this front porch is disgusting. I understand. We share this porch and technically this is your home. Sort of. But. But come on, this is a shared space. This is a health hazard for all of us. Comments? Not the asshole. And you can always claim ignorance. If she tries to start crap. I'm assuming you live in town. So while you would be the most obvious likely culprit, the hat could have been placed there by any neighbor, mail carrier, delivery driver, et cetera. Because I'm sure you're not the only one who has taken notice. Someone said, not the asshole. I'm willing to bet she wouldn't even notice if you put a hat on it. Give it a day or two with the hat for a good chuckle. Someone said you would be the asshole. I realize you're frustrated, but you're substituting passive aggressive bullshit for just having it out with your gross neighbor. Why are you cleaning their half of the porch anyway? Put a mental line between their half and your half and be done with it. You're going to create problems for yourself if you do the birthday hat routine anyway, so why not just do the adult thing and talk to the person directly? Either way, it will be a shit show, so just get it over with instead of being childish. I don't know. I agree with, like, go talk to them, like. But I also think I agree with the other comment. I don't think they're gonna even notice.

[Angela]

Yeah, I think he could talk.

[Chance]

That's what I'm saying is, like, that sounds good.

[Shane]

He could start dumping his trash on their porch and I think they'd be like, oh, I didn't notice.

[Chance]

Yeah, literally, I think if they put a whole birthday. I don't know, bunch of birthday stuff.

[Angela]

Update.

[Shane]

He put the birthday stuff on it. And now with different angles, you can really see how gross that pumpkin is.

[Chance]

Oh, it's catty as fuck, though. That's pretty catty.

[Angela]

That is dis.

[Shane]

Look at.

[Angela]

Wait, can I see it again?

[Shane]

The pumpkin's disgusting though.

[Angela]

Is that just green goop? You know what this is? No, no, Shane.

[Chance]

This is me after a shoot block when it's someone's birthday.

[Shane]

That is.

[Angela]

This is wrong. That is not wrong.

[Chance]

Happy birthday.

[Shane]

That's Resident Evil.

[Chance]

That is Resident Evil.

[Angela]

It is Resident Evil.

[Shane]

That's Resident Evil right there.

[Angela]

Looks like Goosebumps, Slime. But also just.

[Chance]

I don't know. The happy birthday thing is it is.

[Shane]

Now seeing it in person, I'm like, it's pretty. He has a balloon. He didn't say he was gonna have a balloon.

[Angela]

And that changed things for you.

[Shane]

A balloon and then a sign and all this stuff. It's also really funny.

[Chance]

It's funny, but it's also just like, jesus, dude. I don't know.

[Angela]

I like it.

[Chance]

It's funny. It's smart. It's like, witty.

[Shane]

Yeah, it's good. It's whatever.

[Angela]

Is there another update?

[Shane]

No. That was it. That was it. They probably didn't even notice. They just did it. They're probably not gonna notice. And they had a longboard in front of their door that they stepped over for seven hours.

[Angela]

They probably didn't even remember that it was their pumpkin.

[Shane]

They probably have no idea.

[Chance]

Literally. They're probably like, who put a birthday hat on the pumpkin outside? Yeah.

[Shane]

Our next story comes from relationship advice. This was posted January 11, 2025, so earlier this year, we could put a.

[Chance]

Birthday hat on it.

[Angela]

That was awesome.

[Shane]

This is a 26 year old woman. She writes, My boyfriend, who's 30, got me Pokemon for Christmas and I can't let it go. Do I call it quits or work it out?

[Angela]

Pokemon. What?

[Shane]

She just said Pokemon.

[Angela]

Real Pokemon.

[Chance]

He bought her Pokemon.

[Shane]

He got her Pokemon. We'll see what he got her. Exactly. For context, my boyfriend and I have been together for three years since I've known him. He has always loved Pokemon. Personally, I have no interest, but as his partner, I encourage his hobbies and support him. This past Christmas, we had a few brief conversations about Christmas budgets and have mentioned to each other things we have been wanting. I knew Pokemon packs were on the top of his list, so I made sure to get him some. I mentioned wanting a few beauty products and a specific hoodie. Well, Christmas comes around and I open my gift. To my surprise, the first one was a pack of Pokemon cards.

[Angela]

What?

[Shane]

Okay, whatever. The next one was a booster box of Pokemon cards. I stop and ask him if he's joking, because this must be a joke, right? Well, he smirks and tells me to keep going. I opened my next gift. It was another booster box of Pokemon cards. He was full of excitement while I opened my gifts. That's it. Those were my three gifts.

[Angela]

What?

[Shane]

I am not and never have been interested in Pokemon. After this, I told him I needed a moment to myself. I went to our bedroom and took a moment to gather my thoughts and lower my temper. When I came back to the living room, there he was on the floor. Both booster packs and the pack of cards he got me were opened and sprawled across the floor. I was in shock. Not only did he get me gifts that I didn't want, but he actually got them for himself and tried to play it off. I have been trying to move past this as I did not want to seem ungrateful, but I just can't believe he would do something like this. Every time I've tried to bring it up, he has told me how expensive those booster boxes were and how I made him feel bad for not appreciating my gifts. Am I being ungrateful or is he just a jerk?

[Chance]

Oh, give it up.

[Angela]

What? This? What is this? This?

[Shane]

That's unreal.

[Angela]

What was.

[Shane]

What is this?

[Angela]

What is this?

[Chance]

What is this?

[Shane]

Are you gay? So he didn't get her gifts. He got himself something and just said.

[Angela]

It like, so, what is this?

[Chance]

Huh?

[Shane]

So what's going on?

[Chance]

Are we breaking up or what?

[Shane]

So, all right.

[Chance]

Oof. This is rough. This is rough. I just feel like somehow a lot of people miss. A lot of people miss the meaning of giving gifts and what that is, and it's an expression of love.

[Shane]

He sounds like a baby.

[Chance]

Yeah. He sounds like a trap.

[Shane]

Yeah. But they've been together for three years.

[Angela]

And he's been alive for four. So what's the. But it's like, you'd think she'd be.

[Shane]

Like, oh, there's stuff in the past that he's done that's similar to this, but it's like, no, this is.

[Chance]

Do you believe in the three year itch?

[Shane]

The three year itch?

[Angela]

What is that?

[Chance]

I actually don't know if that's the Exact title.

[Angela]

I thought it was three month.

[Chance]

I've heard the three year itch.

[Shane]

What's the three year itch?

[Chance]

Seven year old or just like it's when shit gets real.

[Angela]

Oh.

[Shane]

See, I've always viewed that as six months.

[Chance]

Really?

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Six months?

[Shane]

Six months is where it's like, oh, this relationship is going great. My thought is always like, don't make any big commitments. Six and six months.

[Angela]

But then I would say I do.

[Shane]

Think once you get, I don't know.

[Chance]

It varies per person, but it always varies.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

It always.

[Shane]

Three years is, I feel like a mark where it's like once you get past that, it's like, okay, if you move past that and you're doing good.

[Chance]

Three Christmases together to me is enough to start to see yourself, like, just naturally. I feel like people get very comfortable and sometimes effort is lost.

[Angela]

True.

[Shane]

It's true.

[Chance]

No, but I think like with three years, like in my past relationship that it was ended shortly after three years and it was like, oh, we had just stopped like putting in effort.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chance]

And I feel like this is a gift that's like, there's no effort there. It's just like, what?

[Shane]

Yeah, he was completely thinking about himself, completely self centered.

[Angela]

Like he deserves jail time. Like, I'm barely kidding.

[Shane]

This is the thing. This is one of those stories where it's like, this can't be real. It's like this stuff does really happen. There are people who are like this, but when they do stuff this unbelievable. You're like, what? Like, I don't, you don't even know how to react. She's sitting here like weeks after going, what do I like, he's moved past this. He's acting like this was fine. I wouldn't be able to move past that. You'd expect. It's like you're playing a prank on me. There's a lot of layers to this. It's like there could be the argument of like, oh, he wants her to get into his interests. Like, cool. Like, that's not a Christmas gift and she's not into it. You've dated her for three years. She's not into Pokemon. He opened her gifts, which means they were gifts to himself. That's my big takeaway. Comments. So you're telling me he's known and dated you for at least three years and has never paid attention long enough to get you gifts you may actually like and you're questioning if you want to do this for the rest of your life or not? Someone said, nah, this is crazy. Even if you wanted this. He then opened your gift. That part is unforgivable too. Lastly, someone said, that's literally insane. And the best possible explanation is that he's wildly emotionally unintelligent. So if that's what you like, I guess stay with him. ETA I just registered that this is a 30 year old man. CIS Y. Yeah, that's not gonna change.

[Chance]

Yeah, yeah. This is just unfortunate for everyone involved.

[Angela]

It's like unbelievable to me.

[Shane]

It's truly unbelievable.

[Chance]

Like, I understand sometimes being like, oh, I got us a trip, and then I get to benefit off of this too. But this is just him. She has expressed no interest in this.

[Angela]

It's like, I would rather get a Roomba.

[Chance]

I would rather get a Roomba. I'd rather get like, I don't know, a teeth whitening coupon.

[Angela]

Absolutely.

[Chance]

Like a slap in the face. Not like a. I'm making this about me and my interests.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chance]

No, teeth whitening coupon would be very hurtful.

[Shane]

Oh, probably pretty hurtful.

[Chance]

And I brought it up because my mom did kind of give that to me.

[Angela]

I've gotten that too.

[Chance]

Yeah. And you know what? That's fine.

[Angela]

You know what?

[Chance]

That's fine.

[Shane]

It's actually good.

[Chance]

Moms do that. Moms are like, I got you these socks. Cause I hate your fucking socks.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Right.

[Chance]

Like it's a thing. We see that your socks coordinate with the sweater.

[Shane]

That's pretty cool. Our next story is an Am I the asshole from November 26, 2024. So we've got a Thanksgiving one from last year. Oh, last year, from last year, from next year, 2026, fighting.

[Angela]

It's Christmas.

[Shane]

It's Thanksgiving. Am I the asshole for sitting on my husband's lap during Thanksgiving dinner because all chairs at the table were taken? What a power play.

[Angela]

That is so funny.

[Chance]

Well, there are no more chairs.

[Angela]

Uh oh, where am I supposed to. Where's the, where's the girl supposed to sit?

[Chance]

I guess I'll just.

[Shane]

I, a 28 year old woman, have been with my husband Sean, who's 33 for two years, married for five months. Most of his family are decent people, but his mom can be a little bit of a passive aggressor and tends to criticize me a lot. I feel like some edits were made in that writing. I feel like she wrote something down. She's like, just be a little passive aggressive.

[Angela]

Be chill, be chill.

[Chance]

Delete that.

[Shane]

Sean sees it as her still not getting used to me being around, but I don't know, because she treats his ex Julissa well. Mother in law says that Julissa has been around the family for ages and her past with Shawn never affected her relationship with her. Fine. I never minded her attending every holiday and being around until yesterday. We had Thanksgiving dinner at my mother in law's house. Sean went there before me and when I arrived it was already dinner time. Everyone was seated and I saw that all the chairs were taken. I asked mother in law why she didn't save me a seat and she said sorry and that one of her granddaughters decided to show up at the last minute and the chair was taken. I looked at her then at Julissa, who was sitting next to Sean and tried to point out how I was more deserving of her chair since I'm the daughter in law. I know I shouldn't have said it. I know, I know. Mother in law flat out said that Julissa is as much family as me and that it was rude to imply otherwise. Julissa was nodding confidently while glancing at me. I was so upset I wanted to leave but decided to just sit on my husband's lap and act as casual as possible. I sat on his lap asking if he was okay with it. Don't worry, I'm petite. He's strong, built and started eating so casually while smiling and complimenting the food and mentioning to Sean how warm and cool his lap was. The table went awkwardly. Silent brother in law would try to break the silence and change the subject, but it somehow goes back to being awkward. Mother in law and Julissa were barely eating and were staring at each other, then at me, eyes wide open. Minutes later, Julissa excused herself to the bathroom and so did mother in law. It was still awkward, but I did my best to focus on dinner. Sean was eating as well. Later, there was just so much tension and mother in law was barely able to speak after Julissa left. She left early, like right after dinner. Shawn and I went home and mother in law tried calling but then called Sean and texted me saying that what I did was inappropriate and that I ruined Thanksgiving dinner and made it awkward. She said it wasn't her fault chairs were taken and I could have dragged a chair from the kitchen but acted childishly and made Julissa and family uncomfortable with how inappropriate I was. Edit I need to mention that even if I took a chair from the kitchen, there was not enough space at the dinner table to fit the chair. Everyone was sitting next to each other. Wow.

[Chance]

God, I'd kill to be there.

[Angela]

I would kill to be there.

[Shane]

Just sitting on there being like, your lap is so warm. Sorry I Feel like I'm seated so high. Cause your bulge is so huge.

[Angela]

Well, look at that.

[Chance]

A natural boost.

[Angela]

Whoa. Also, the husband is not. Okay, okay, all right, all right. Okay.

[Chance]

Settle down now.

[Shane]

Settle down.

[Angela]

Kids, kids, kids, kids, kids. Slow down. I'm not for certified.

[Chance]

I don't have the DMV license classification for this.

[Angela]

Well, I guess there's a class D license. Stick shift.

[Chance]

Well, I guess I. I guess if there's no chair for me, I'll sit on my boyfriend's bulge.

[Angela]

Oh, my son's new girlfriend, Betty Boop is here. Yes. Oh, okay. So let's talk about Sean for a minute. Okay. So Julissa's Shawn's ex.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Angela]

Who?

[Shane]

Like, he's like, the family's allowing his ex to come to Thanksgiving dinner. He's tolerating that.

[Angela]

Like, that's number one for me.

[Shane]

It's like, dude, who's allowing this?

[Angela]

Right?

[Shane]

Why is this happening?

[Angela]

She's a part of the family. Okay.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Angela]

Does she have another family that she.

[Shane]

No.

[Angela]

Okay. Well, it feels inappropriate. It's like, but she's my ex. Like, she's not. I guess you brought her into the family. But then it's also not sticking up for the wife in a way. It's like, where's my wife's seat? She needs a seat. Yeah, I know. Where's this? It's his mother. It's his mother's house.

[Shane]

Yeah. They're married. They're married. They're married. So it's like, hey, you're the ex, and you are the ex. Know what I like? They're married.

[Angela]

He's like, okay, there's no. Maybe he knows. There's no fighting with her. I like that he's like, yeah, sit in my lap, babe. And then I like that they're both eating, and there's no. There's no conflict with that.

[Chance]

Why?

[Angela]

It feels like they're on a team.

[Chance]

Can I. The thing that's coming to mind.

[Angela]

Yes.

[Chance]

And I needed to do visual. Could you set my lap?

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Chance]

I don't know how. And this is great, right? How is he eating? So you eat.

[Shane]

So she said.

[Angela]

She did say.

[Chance]

So is it like a.

[Angela]

It's gotta be like, you're seated across.

[Shane]

I think it's a little bit more of. She's kind of seated on one leg.

[Sponsor Voice]

As a quarterback, I love sports, but sometimes when I get hit on my blind side, front side, and put on my back side, I wonder, is sport clips better than sports? Because sport clips, haircuts, is sports on tv. Plus a relaxing Haircut, hot steam towel and massaging shampoo, which is better than sports plus sport clips. It's a game changer. Check in [e-mail] and.

[Shane]

And like.

[Chance]

And her other leg's on his bulge.

[Angela]

Well. Well, like that.

[Shane]

She's saying.

[Angela]

I'm saying, how are you?

[Chance]

This is so dramatic to be like.

[Shane]

It is dramatic, but she's saying it's the only option. She's also saying she's petite and he's like a strong built, like, bigger guy, so maybe she really just comfortably sits on one of his legs and, like.

[Chance]

Why is she fucking Tinkerbell?

[Angela]

It is awkward.

[Shane]

It is awkward.

[Chance]

You're sure you're petite, but, like, what the fuck?

[Shane]

Are you, a Polly Pocket?

[Angela]

I'm petite.

[Shane]

I'm two feet tall. Hey, look, another opportunity. I make a borrower joke like every.

[Chance]

Other episode, every fucking day.

[Shane]

It's always there. This is just like. It's like, man, why is this situation happening? And this is not like, I wanna call this story fake, but this is not the first time. This is one of numerous times I've heard and for people in real life of, like, exes being part of the family.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Shane]

I'm like, how does this happen?

[Angela]

Yeah, but it happens a lot.

[Chance]

I mean, it does. It really does.

[Angela]

It makes sense to me in my experience, when there's kids involved, because it's like, oh, you're not gonna separate the parents from the kids.

[Shane]

Yeah, I get that. I get that.

[Angela]

But there's no kids involved.

[Shane]

No kids. This is an ex girlfriend, as far as we know. And now he's married. It's like, at some point you gotta be like, hey, I'm sorry you guys broke up.

[Chance]

Yeah, it's a control thing, too. It's like our families need to be boundaries and not controlling each other's lives when it comes into, like, dating is such a thing we see all the time on.

[Shane]

It's pretty awful. But there are so many stories of families who are like, no, we're gonna make you marry this person.

[Angela]

Was she late?

[Shane]

I will say it's an interesting thing that they started that she was late to, that they didn't go together. Yes. She and her husband didn't go to Thanksgiving, but we don't know the situation.

[Chance]

You never know.

[Shane]

It could be, but she showed up and they had already started dinner, so already I feel like the family's just not respecting her. We're gonna start without you.

[Chance]

Yeah. I wouldn't even sit unless all parties are there.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Shane]

This is one of those Things, man, where it's like, hey, like, my wife is part of the family now.

[Angela]

Yes.

[Shane]

If you're not respecting her, you disrespecting her is disrespecting me. And if you're gonna disrespect us on that level, like, I will not come to Thanksgiving, like, and you tolerate it, you're saying like, oh, you're kinda giving it the okay.

[Angela]

Yeah, I can see reality where there was a set time. I'm not hearing any of that from this story. But I can see. But I'm also not hearing like, I'm not hearing it. So it might have been omitted.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Angela]

Just on person telling's point of view, I think.

[Shane]

I think OP gives a little bit more details in the comments. So let's see the verdict. Not the asshole. No, definitely comments. Not the asshole. But the whole ordeal could have been avoided had your husband done what he should have done and given you his seat while he went to fetch another one. In fact, he should have already had an empty seat beside him waiting for you. I can't imagine putting my wife in such an awkward situation. 72,000 upvotes. Yeah, that sums it up so well. So that comment had 72,000 upvotes and the story itself had 10,000 upvotes.

[Chance]

It's like when Chance writes something really funny on my Instagram posts. He gets a lot of likes on his.

[Shane]

Yeah, someone commented on that, saying, why is the husband okay with his ex being treated better? Someone said, not the asshole. I feel like I missed something. Does he have children with his ex who she brought to Thanksgiving dinner? Minus that. I have no clue what she was there for. Opie says no. They were friends and both families were close. Then they started dating, then broke up, but still maintained a decent relationship. However, mother in law is somehow acting like they're still together. But she denied all that, saying that she just treats her as a daughter. And also told me I have zero say in how she treats others. Which is fine by me, really. But when I'm being treated as less than, I find issues with her treatment. On another note, my husband says he can't figure out this problem between me and his mom. He thinks that we're both wrong.

[Angela]

What?

[Shane]

Oh, fuck.

[Chance]

Both of you ladies are wrong.

[Angela]

You're both crazy. So emotional.

[Shane]

Someone said under that sounds like your husband is a selfish guy. He didn't find it odd that you had to sit on his lap at Thanksgiving. He didn't find it odd that his ex was sitting happily and his wife wasn't. He doesn't seem to be honest. Lastly, someone said, not the asshole. Mother in law suggests after the fact that OP could have dragged a chair from the kitchen. It was mother in law's job as host to do that herself. Failure to do so was an obvious attempt to make OP ill at ease. OP responded delightfully. It was mother in law's fault that it turned out the way it did. Oh, my God.

[Angela]

You know what this is? Giving Boy Mom's episode of Bit City. Like, exactly.

[Shane]

This is Amanda's Karen.

[Chance]

Yeah.

[Angela]

No, like, straight up.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chance]

Yeah.

[Angela]

That's crazy.

[Chance]

I also don't know, maybe I'm a people pleaser, but if I invite someone over and there's not a chair for them, I'm not standing for it. I don't wanna make that person feel that uncomfortable. I don't even want them to sit on my lap. I'm like, let's leave.

[Shane]

Yeah. I've just simply never been around people like that. Yeah, right. Cause if I don't like someone, if I'm with people and I'm like, we don't like this person, we're not inviting them. Cause I'm not gonna invite someone to a dinner and then on purpose make it awkward for them, I'm like, I don't wanna sit there with that. Like, that sucks.

[Angela]

I'm so, like, problem solver oriented in those situations where I'll be like, oh, you can have my chair and I'll find something. Like, I will. It doesn't matter who it is. If I'm sensing it's that awkward, I'm like, oh, I really don't need this that bad. If it will be less awkward now.

[Shane]

Right? Definitely.

[Angela]

100%. You could.

[Chance]

Also, there's another power move. Instead of sitting on his lap, it's just standing. I'll stand the whole dinner. And she's like, like, how awkward.

[Shane]

Pass the cranberries. Yeah.

[Chance]

Like, literally.

[Shane]

Ugh.

[Angela]

Like, circling the table.

[Chance]

Yeah. Just like, walking around like it's a cocktail hour.

[Shane]

Oh, my God.

[Angela]

I kind of love that. Walking around, like, a leg.

[Shane]

And she's like, walking around like it's the beginning of Traders.

[Chance]

And she's like, so what's this picture?

[Angela]

Joining different conversations at different.

[Shane]

Just, like, grabbing people's wine. Just be like, mm, that's good.

[Chance]

That's nice. Is this a. What is this? Oh, nice.

[Shane]

Our last story. It is a Today I fucked up. This is another October1. October 27, 2024.

[Angela]

Okay.

[Shane]

Today I fucked up. Passing gas on the dance floor.

[Angela]

Okay.

[Chance]

Not really Halloween.

[Shane]

It happens well, Halloween has a lot of dancing.

[Angela]

Lot of dancing, I think.

[Shane]

Parties.

[Chance]

Okay, so what? You farted during the monster mash.

[Angela]

I feel like.

[Chance]

So what? So what?

[Shane]

That was.

[Angela]

I think we've all farted during the monster. Monster Mash.

[Shane]

She was part of the actual monster Mash, Right. I'm a female in my mid-30s. Last night I went out for a Halloween dance party. I worked really hard on my costume. I was the perfect combination of warm and slutty, and I was excited to strut my stuff.

[Angela]

Warm and slutty, probably.

[Shane]

Probably wherever they're at.

[Angela]

Warm.

[Shane]

Yeah, they're probably like in a colder climate.

[Chance]

Oh, got it, got it, got it. Warm.

[Shane]

So like.

[Angela]

Oh, you meant like hot.

[Chance]

I was just like, huh?

[Shane]

Yeah, yeah. The way that this bar is set up is that there is a main level upstairs and then you can walk downstairs to go to the dance area. It's a pretty small place, so it gets crowded. I had taken some mushrooms earlier in the evening and I was feeling good. At some point in the night, I had to cut the cheese. I thought it would be a small one. I thought I could just crop dust it, but it was the most silent, deadly, toxic, foul stink bomb of my life.

[Chance]

I'm so sorry. Can we hold what's cropped up?

[Shane]

Crop dusting is when you kind of like move. Move through a space so you like, kind of like. Like you're gonna fart, but you're gonna keep on the move so that you're.

[Chance]

Not gonna be associated with it.

[Angela]

So when it's.

[Shane]

When the smell happens, it's like, oh, well, I'm past there.

[Angela]

Do you know what actual crop dusting is? It's like when a plane flies over and drops like pesticides or shit. And it keeps going.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Angela]

So it like it drops stuff onto a field. So you're crop dusting, Angela. Learning what crop dusting is. You've never crop dusting before. You've crop dusted.

[Shane]

Oh, everyone's crop dusted.

[Chance]

This motherfucker the other day on a live stream goes, she's obsessed with Olaf. I'm so sick of it. I was like, that's more damaging than tow mater.

[Shane]

He's accusing you of liking Olaf and I'm making fun of you for liking Tomater.

[Chance]

Thank God she's obsessed with that guy.

[Angela]

She has the plushies and everything.

[Sponsor Voice]

Shut the fuck.

[Chance]

How am I down?

[Shane]

You're kind of the Olaf of smosh. Thanks, dude.

[Angela]

Thanks, dude.

[Shane]

Oh, God. Sorry. That was a three hit combo.

[Chance]

Do you mind if I sit on Bailey's Lap. I don't feel comfortable.

[Angela]

Just don't protest on your way over there. She's.

[Chance]

This place is a war zone.

[Shane]

Sorry.

[Chance]

Just drive a truck through this, please.

[Shane]

All right. I will say, man, like, it's one of the best parts of Disneyland, right? Is like, you're walking around all day, you're eating gross foods, and it's like, hey, if you got a fart, like, you wait till you're in the zone. You're in the crowd, and it's just like.

[Angela]

It's like, the best parts of Disneyland.

[Shane]

It kind of is.

[Angela]

It's like, so much food, so many good shows. It is magical. That's the best part of Disneyland. You're walking past the line for star Tours, and it's like, sorry, guys. Like, have you been to a mall?

[Shane]

I've given you guys a little bit of a tour myself.

[Chance]

He goes, oh, I want to get a season pass there so I can fart. Like, what are you talking about? God, I love Disneyland. I can fart wherever I want.

[Angela]

When you're in line for Indiana Jones, there's that rope pull, and you're like.

[Shane]

Gotta time it perfectly so you make this.

[Sponsor Voice]

What?

[Shane]

You guys wouldn't get it?

[Angela]

No, I wouldn't, because I don't fart. I sealed my butthole shut.

[Chance]

And I'm a girl.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Chance]

Okay, okay.

[Shane]

All right, all right. At some point in the night, I had to cut the cheese. I thought it would be a small one. I thought I could just crop dust it, but it was the most silent, deadly, toxic, foul stink bomb of my life. The smell from my ass destroyed the dance floor. People cleared out. It was so bad. People thought that someone had an accident on the floor. Like, they turned up the lights a little bit to see and make sure that there wasn't a health hazard. Even the DJ made a comment.

[Angela]

No way.

[Shane]

I went upstairs because I couldn't stand the smell of my own ass. I was up there for about 30 minutes, and when I came back down, I could still smell my ass.

[Angela]

Whoa.

[Shane]

It's all anybody could talk about. They thought someone had an accident.

[Angela]

I had to play dumb.

[Shane]

I was so embarrassed. All right. This reminds me of one of our live shows. Unfortunately, it wasn't Tommy.

[Chance]

Oh, oh, oh. I'm thinking of the Tommy Vidcon.

[Shane]

There was a. There was a live show. There was a live show. We had. It was a Christmas live show where before we went on, we were in, like, our, like, waiting room rehearsal area, and someone farted. And it was so bad that everybody cleared out.

[Chance]

So No, I thought it was Tommy.

[Shane]

It was not Tommy.

[Angela]

I thought it was Ian.

[Shane]

It was not Ian.

[Chance]

It was Jeremy Elder. It was Jeremy Elder.

[Angela]

I got a confession.

[Chance]

It was Jeremy Elder. We got a confession.

[Angela]

Yeah, that's right.

[Shane]

That's right. Yeah. Jeremy Elder business casual podcast. Go check it out.

[Chance]

Yeah, go check it out.

[Shane]

If we're gonna.

[Angela]

If we're gonna do him, we're talking.

[Chance]

Go check out his podcast.

[Angela]

If we're gonna do him dirty like that, you gotta go check out his podcast. That's hilarious.

[Chance]

Yeah, this reminds me of that time that guy ripped ass. Go check out his podcast.

[Angela]

Go check out his podcast. Angela.

[Shane]

Angela was on an episode. I was on an episode. Cory was on an episode. Anyways, but it's horrendous. It's happened a few times in my life where, like, I'm in a group setting and someone farts, and it's, like, unfortunately horrible, and everyone's like, we gotta go. And, like, in those situations, nobody admits to it.

[Angela]

Yeah, there have been any couple times.

[Shane]

In my life where it happens. And then, like, probably back in, like, elementary school and stuff like that, that happens.

[Chance]

And it's just like, the DJ turned.

[Shane]

Out we should play werewolf.

[Angela]

Except for the DJ commenting on it and the lights being turned up.

[Chance]

Hey, did someone pass out? We're just.

[Shane]

Also, the fact that she came back 30 minutes later and it was still bad. It's like, hey, maybe something did happen.

[Angela]

Something's wrong. Oh, something's wrong.

[Chance]

Something's wrong and it isn't St. Nick.

[Shane]

Nice call back from the. Yeah, yeah.

[Chance]

No.

[Shane]

Are you ready?

[Chance]

Ready? Oh, yeah, yeah. It might be on that one. Kick on.

[Angela]

Kick on, Kick on.

[Shane]

Our audio listeners are like, what the.

[Angela]

Fuck is happening, guys? I told you, it's Friday evening. Oh, my God.

[Chance]

Keep going.

[Angela]

Just keep going.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Keep going.

[Chance]

Except one of us has a bad.

[Angela]

Oh, my God, did someone fart? Just keep going. Just keep going.

[Chance]

Keep fucking walking.

[Angela]

Keep going. Keep walking.

[Chance]

We have to go to Splash Mountain.

[Angela]

Just keep fucking. We went to Splash Mountain.

[Shane]

Got to Splash Mountain.

[Angela]

All right.

[Shane]

They rebuilt it. It's not Splash Mountain anymore. We just keep going.

[Chance]

Just keep going. It's like some fucking thing. Moana thing.

[Angela]

Tiana's Bayou Adventure.

[Chance]

Yeah, but it's still called Splash Mountain.

[Angela]

No, Tiana's. No, they changed the name. Tiana's Bayou Adventure.

[Chance]

Wow.

[Angela]

Who is that lady? Remember, that's the ride that was like, who is that lady? This is when Angela's like, well, I'm not going to Disneyland. Who is that lady? Mama. Mama.

[Chance]

What chance And I went on Tiana's Bayou Adventure, and he just was taken.

[Angela]

By a woman that was like a Mama Yay Yay. Or whatever her name is. I love her.

[Chance]

What was so funny, bro? You kept calling.

[Angela]

I was like, mama Yay. It's not her name. I don't know what her name.

[Chance]

That's my choir. Did you remember?

[Angela]

No. It's my African dance teacher. She reminds me of it. They look just alike. They do. And the vibes are like, right there. Like, come on. We had Mama Yay Yay.

[Chance]

And he went, look, it's Mama Yay Yay. On the ride. And we were like, who?

[Shane]

I thought.

[Angela]

I couldn't remember. I confused them.

[Shane]

Comments. Years ago, I was in a big record store with no one else there but the staff. I let a silent but deadly go while I was browsing. It was so bad that I had to move over a couple of aisles. A minute later, two teenage girls came into the store and walked right into my cloud and immediately started gagging and coughing.

[Angela]

It was hard not to laugh. Oh, well.

[Chance]

Oh, well.

[Shane]

Okay.

[Angela]

Can I confess something, too?

[Shane]

I feel like, no, I didn't. I have this curse, though, where I'm out in public. Like, I'm at a grocery store. I'm like, somewhere. I'm like, okay, I'm just gonna. I gotta fart a little bit. I'm just gonna, like, fart really quick.

[Angela]

That's when suddenly someone just walks my.

[Shane]

Way and they're just like, someone happens out here, Shawn.

[Chance]

Y top from smoke.

[Angela]

I wanna check out this aisle too. And I'm like, duh.

[Shane]

Yeah.

[Angela]

Someone tell me teens don't find farts funny anymore.

[Shane]

I heard that too.

[Angela]

Or was that you that called it?

[Shane]

No, I didn't say that, but I heard that tech is ruining everything.

[Chance]

Just keep going. Just keep.

[Sponsor Voice]

Going.

[Chance]

Just keep.

[Angela]

It's how you look.

[Shane]

Off to nothing.

[Chance]

Nobody sending him. Nobody. They're gonna cut that all out. Come on, Kikong.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Keep the ball. Keep the ball up.

[Angela]

Keep the ball up.

[Shane]

I shared this once before on Reddit. Many years ago, I was at work after a night of drinking. My stomach was seriously rebelling. I waited till the ladies room was empty, ran in, unloaded the most horrific load, and ran out.

[Angela]

Load, baby.

[Shane]

Ten minutes later, a co worker innocently asked if I'd been in the ladies room this morning, to which I innocently replied no. She started ranting so loudly that the entire office got involved discussing it. She said if someone had to do something that disgusting, they should have gone home to go. It was the talk of the office for weeks. Oh, my gosh. Someone else said, what's a little embarrassment when you can give so many Redditors a good laugh?

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Chance]

And that's what we're all here for, guys.

[Shane]

And that's what we're here for. Thank you for clearing the dance floor. Yeah, she did kill the dance floor.

[Chance]

Yeah, I told you that story. I think I said it at a live show when my brother had farted in the car and my dad was so pissed off that he farted in the car and he kicked him out, made him walk home.

[Angela]

That's awesome.

[Shane]

I still love that your brother ran and jumped and farted in one of your aunt's faces.

[Angela]

What?

[Chance]

Like in my friend. In my friend or was like, my babysitter, I don't remember. She was, like, sitting next, and he was like, fart coming, jump. The second he landed up, boom, down.

[Angela]

That's amazing. You're incredible.

[Shane]

Your brother's the Tony Hawk of farting, dude. Like, he's the goat.

[Chance]

No, but how funny is it that we were like, literally, we were like five houses down and my brother farted, and my dad was like, john and pulls over. He goes, get out. And my brother was like, bill, our house is right there.

[Angela]

He goes, walk home. That's awesome.

[Chance]

And then we were pulling away and in the rear view mirror, seemingly.

[Angela]

Oh, my God. Dude, What a holiday. Damn.

[Shane]

I can't believe your brother's Bart since. Okay, well, happy holidays.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Happy holiday.

[Shane]

Happy holidays.

[Chance]

Happy Thanksgiving. Happy fall. Happy, happy Christmas. Happy Hanukkah. Happy Kwanzaa.

[Shane]

Hope you guys enjoyed that. Hope you're having a good holiday season. Hope Halloween was cool. Hope Thanksgiving was cool.

[Chance]

And you know what? Go sit on your husband's bulging.

[Angela]

No, no.

[Chance]

Get your pancakes out.

[Angela]

Just keep going. The battle of the bulge. Anyway, keep going, keep going.

[Chance]

Just dress. Just end the episode.

[Shane]

Thank you guys for watching. Let us know what other themes and subreddits you'd like to see, and we'll see you next Saturday.

[Angela]

Bye.

[Sponsor Voice]

As a quarterback, I love sports, but sometimes when I get hit on my blind side, front side, and put on my backside, I wonder, is sport clips better than sport? Because sport clips, haircuts is sports on tv. Plus a relaxing haircut, hot steam towel, and massaging shampoo, which is better than sports plus sport clips. It's a game changer. Check in [e-mail].