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Brad
When the Moore family ditched cable Internet and switched to Zigly Fiber, they got so much more. Mr. Moore got more upload speed for next level gaming and livestreaming to the masses with reliable service. Mrs. Moore is no longer her family's.
Shane
IT guru, leaving her more time to.
Brad
Stream games into overtime. Let's go. And young Mason Moore got more done quickly uploading HD product demos and video conferencing without freezing. The numbers look good. Brad, you're on mute. Switch from cable Internet to Ziply Fiber and get more of what you love for $65 less per month than cable@ziplyfiber.com you just realized your business needed to hire someone yesterday. How can you find amazing candidates fast? Easy. Just use Indeed. Stop struggling to get your job post seen on other job sites with Indeed sponsored Jobs. Your post jumps to the top of the page for your relevant candidates so you can reach the people you want faster. According to Indeed data, Sponsored jobs posted directly on indeed have 45% more applications than non sponsored Jobs. Don't wait any longer. Speed up your hiring right now with Indeed and listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit. To get your jobs more visibility@ Indeed.com kidsandfamily just go to Indeed.com kidsandfamily right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring Indeed is all you need.
Shane
Hello and welcome to Smosh Reads Reddit Stories. I'm Shane and today the theme is gaming. A lot of t. Tabletop gaming. We have two people here who know a little bit about tabletop gaming. We have Spencer and George Primavera joining us. What's up two game masters Gamers. You guys. You guys are professional gamers, quite literally on the regular. Yeah, yeah, Spencer, I mean, I don't know where you do your gaming.
George Primavera
I don't know any. I don't know anymore.
Shane
Yeah, but George, you're over. You're over at Critical Role doing all sorts of fun stuff.
Spencer
Yeah, yeah. I am one of the CO DMs for the re slayer's take on critical role. I am the DM for a podcast called Hero Club and do all sorts of D and D related stuff on a podcast called Total Party Skill. So I'm all up in the D and D world right now. Yeah.
Shane
And if you haven't checked out, Dread our Dread series over at Smosh Games, George is the one who runs all those stories for us and man, it's always a blast.
Spencer
Those are so fun. If you haven't checked those out.
Shane
Go check those out.
George Primavera
I think it's the best thing. I think it's the best thing we've done in Smosh Games.
Spencer
Aw, man.
Shane
It's a lot of fun every time.
Spencer
It's a blast.
Shane
So board games. There's some video game stories in here, but board games really are a catalyst for a lot of drama. Right. Like, that'll put people to the test. We've seen it time and time again over at Smosh Games. Right. I mean, we have a blast. I think we do a great job, but things can get heated.
George Primavera
Mm.
Shane
So when we're talking about families, partners playing board games, shit can get real.
Spencer
Oh, yeah.
Shane
So we're about to see some stories here and see what happens. Our first story comes from. Am I the asshole? Am I the asshole for not wanting to play a game my girlfriend created?
Spencer
Oh, no. Oh, no.
George Primavera
Dude, already? That's a heater.
Spencer
This is awesome, Kim. Coming out hot.
Shane
So we have a 27 year old guy here. He says, My girlfriend, who's 24, has been working on a visual novel game as a side project for almost two years and recently finished it. She wanted me to play it, but I initially declined since I'm not into visual novels or reading long stories. But after she begged, I gave it a try and played for a good 15 minutes. Now, I can tell she put in a lot of effort in the writing and the art, and it was a good start, but I just got tired of reading and stopped. And she asked what I thought and wanted me to eventually finish it and tell her what I thought about the choices and the endings, but I told her I had no plans to. She looked shocked and asked if it was boring. I told her no, it's just that I'm just not into this type of genre. And she knows I'm not into reading, but asked me to make an exception this time since she made it. I got upset because I think she is being childish and wants to blackmail me into doing something I don't want. After I made it clear I wasn't continuing. She hasn't talked to me since I already know that she is talented and smart. So just because I don't want to play, it doesn't mean I don't support her. Some of my friends agree she's being immature, but others think I should be more supportive. So am I the asshole?
George Primavera
This is literally how it feels when you guys aren't into a game that I put on smosh games.
Shane
This board game sucks, dude.
George Primavera
Whenever angel and Amanda talk during Resident Evil. I turn, I pause the game. I'm like, so you guys created this?
Shane
You guys aren't into this?
Spencer
Oh, man. What a loose use of the word blackmail.
George Primavera
No, I was gonna say blackmail. When he threw a blackmail, I was like, what is that? Like, wait, what's masking? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Shane
What the fuck?
George Primavera
What was the line? He said? He's like, I'm not gonna put any more time into this.
Shane
Yeah, 15 minutes.
Spencer
15 minutes.
Shane
So at least you should work out for two years.
Spencer
No, I don't like to read.
George Primavera
It's like, babe, you know I don't like reading.
Shane
Reading and artwork, it's a whole lot.
George Primavera
Babe, babe, you don't know. You know I don't love engaging with the things you've created.
Shane
Right? Yeah. I think he's, like, missing. He's clearly missing the entire point of like, oh, this isn't my genre. It's like, that's cool, man. Who cares? Yeah, it doesn't really matter. You know, she's been working on this for two years.
George Primavera
Like, at least. If he had said an hour, maybe I might have felt, like, a little, like, sliver of, like, oh, you gave it the old college try.
Spencer
15 minutes is. 15 minutes is crazy. A bowl of cereal is 15 minutes.
Shane
She's also. She's not even, like, asking him, like, to read it and enjoy it. She's like, I want your help. Here's something I'm passionate about. Here's something I'm working on. Can I get your opinion on this? And that could be anything, you know? Like, what does he care about? I don't fucking know what this guy actually likes.
Spencer
That guy likes Gatorade and biceping.
Shane
He's like, oh. He's like, I don't read. Sorry, babe, I'm done reading. I gotta go back to watching porn.
Spencer
I just. If anything, the fact that he doesn't like it means that he would probably have valuable insight to improve it and make it more broadly applicable if he actually cared about.
Shane
You could have, like, a non feedback. Yeah, like a non. Just a different perspective on it. And he's even admitting, like, she's put in a lot of effort, and it was really. It's a good start. I just got tired of reading and stopped. It's like, okay, so you even acknowledge that it's not, like, bad.
Spencer
I got tired of reading.
Shane
Yeah.
Spencer
It's such, like, a. What does that mean?
Shane
You just, like.
Spencer
You went, like, my eyes hurt.
George Primavera
Like, revisit it. Like, come back to it. But he's Like, I'm not gonna revisit it.
Spencer
Yeah, I'm not going to.
Shane
That's frigging wild, man. I also think it's like, it's such a show of like, care. Especially like, this is his girlfriend. Right. You know, like, this is his partner. Like, showing interest in someone's interest is almost more important than anything.
Spencer
Right.
Shane
And so he's just like watched a movie for.
George Primavera
So, like, if it's like, oh, your partner's like, oh, like, I want you to see this movie with me. It's like one of my favorite movies. It's like, okay, yeah. And there's two hours.
Spencer
Yeah. Right.
Shane
I. Yeah, I'm such a believer in that because there are. I'm not really a believer of like, that's not my genre, so I don't partake in it. Right. I'm like, anything can be what a.
Spencer
Close minded way to approach everything.
Shane
Anything can be fun. But I'm like, oh, if something matters to someone, like, I'll check it out to understand why you like it or to learn more about you. In the process. He's kind of removed. Like, he's not thinking about the relationship element of this. He's just thinking about this thing in itself as if he found it at a store. And he's like, oh, well, I'm not into this. Like, that's cool.
Spencer
That's fine. You don't owe like anything to a thing you randomly found. But like, you know, you should give your partner attention and try to share their interests in a way that is productive. And I don't know, the whole element of I'm not gonna revisit it is so crazy to me. Just do it tomorrow if you're not feeling it today. Yeah, I think I'm never gonna read that again.
George Primavera
I don't know how powered through those first 15 minutes. The game really opens up after the first 15 minutes.
Spencer
Yeah, seriously. The only reason I was even a little apprehensive about maybe this guy's got nothing is maybe she laid their relationship bare in this novel.
George Primavera
And hey, this is about our relationship. It's like, well, I don't.
Shane
That's him being uncomfortable with it.
Spencer
Uncomfortable with it.
Shane
But this is him being like, no.
Spencer
Can'T do this anymore.
Shane
Yeah, like, this is brutal. Like, if I knew someone, she's like, yeah, I've been working on this visual novel for two years and I asked my boyfriend if he could read it and he spent 15 minutes on it and then said, no, I'm good.
Spencer
I'd be like, damn, I know you can do it.
Shane
Like, damn. Okay, so the bar's there. All right. The verdict is asshole comments. You're the asshole. Your girlfriend worked for years on this project and you can't be bothered to spend an hour or two supporting her by playing it? You're the immature one here. Partners do things for each other. Get off the Internet and apologize to her. It's 25,000 upvotes.
George Primavera
He probably spent like 15 minutes on this post.
Shane
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Spencer
He wrote this whole post.
Shane
Yeah, he spent more time on this.
Spencer
Easily more than 15.
Shane
Someone said you're the asshole. Relationships require effort. If you aren't willing to put in the effort to support her work and do something for her, I hope she can find someone who does. Lastly, someone said you're the asshole. Why did you ask here? You realize you have to read the answers, right? Tell your girlfriend you prefer to read bullshit from strangers before her game and then come here and tell us how it goes. We would like reading that.
George Primavera
It sounds like she needs, like, a sensitive gamer boyfriend.
Spencer
Yeah.
George Primavera
Girls just don't even see us gamers as guys.
Shane
Oh, dude. She wants me to read, like, I don't know. I'm like, scared of reading. I don't know. Have you guys ever read a visual or played a visual novel? I don't think I have.
Spencer
That's like a choice based visual medium, right? That you kind of like, are guided through the story.
Shane
It's a Choose your own adventure in a video game.
George Primavera
Yeah. With pictures.
Spencer
Yeah.
Shane
Oh, that sounds cool.
Spencer
That does sound cool.
Shane
I've read Goosebumps. Choose your own adventures. So I guess I have.
George Primavera
It's a story. I mean, it's like, hey, bro, do you enjoy storytelling?
Shane
Yeah.
Spencer
Right?
George Primavera
And apparently it's like, bro, fancy a story?
Spencer
Fancy a story. Fancy a tale.
Shane
The closest that I've had that. I definitely hit this kind of thing where I'm like, I'm just not in the zone for this. Was this game called Disco Elysium. It's one of the best games ever made. But it's like truly just. It's like, oh, every time your character talks to someone, it's like you're gonna be reading for like 10 minutes.
George Primavera
Courtney Miller's Disco Elysium.
Shane
But it's like, intense stuff. And I was just like, I don't.
Spencer
Have five minutes for this.
Shane
I was like, but no, I bet is closest.
George Primavera
Or I mean, what was the game you and Damian played forever ago? Like Doki Doki literature. Doki Doki Literature club. Close. Yeah.
Shane
And then also There's Dream Daddy.
George Primavera
Yeah, exactly.
Spencer
I've not heard of a single one of these so far.
Shane
These are like dating sims. So it's like.
Spencer
Okay, okay.
Shane
Dream Daddy is the one where, like, you're a new dad in this neighborhood where there's tons of hot dads and you're talking to. You're a hot dad talking to other hot dads.
Spencer
Okay, cool.
Shane
It's really cool.
George Primavera
I think. Yeah. I think dating sims and visual novels are, like, often conflated with cause. Yeah. I think there's a lot of elements that they share.
Spencer
There's a walking simulator that is kind of a visual novel that I love called Firewatch.
Shane
Oh, I love Firewatch.
Spencer
Yeah. That feels like our sound guy.
Shane
Scott loves Firewatch too. He saw his hands pumping in the air.
Spencer
Firewatch.
Shane
Firewatch is incredible. No, but. No, I respect it, but I have not participated.
George Primavera
But I wouldn't play more than 15 minutes.
Shane
I'd probably play a little bit.
Spencer
Otherwise, that's blackmail.
George Primavera
Yeah, Otherwise, that. Yeah, Essentially, anytime. Yeah. If your partner makes you do something, I'm like, I'm being blackmailed.
Spencer
You're committing fraud right now, legally.
George Primavera
I shouldn't be talking to you.
Brad
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Kara Stout
Introducing an Untroubled heart. A new 30 day morning and evening devotional by Kara Stout. Whether you are stressed in the morning about the day ahead or desperate to calm your mind in the evening before bed, this beautiful book is filled with biblical encouragement and heartfelt prayers to still your mind and draw you into rest in God's loving care. Find an untroubled heart anywhere. Books are sold.
Brad
You just realized your business needed to hire someone yesterday. How can you find amazing candidates fast? Easy. Just use Indeed. Stop struggling to get your job post seen on other job sites with Indeed Sponsored Jobs. Your post jumps to the top of the page for your relevant candidates so you can reach the people you want faster. According to Indeed data, sponsored jobs posted directly on indeed have 45% more applications than non sponsored jobs. Don't wait any longer. Speed up your hiring right now with Indeed and listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit. To get your jobs more visibility at indeed.comkidsandfamily just go to indeed.comkidsandfamily right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring Indeed is all you need Introducing.
Kara Stout
An untroubled a new 30 day morning and evening Devotional by Kara Stout Whether you are stressed in the morning about the day ahead or desperate to calm your mind in the evening before bed, this beautiful book is filled with biblical encouragement and heartfelt prayers to still your mind and draw you in to rest in God's loving care. Find an untroubled heart anywhere.
Shane
Books are sold Back to the show. Our next story comes from the subreddit DNDHorrorStories. Oh no.
George Primavera
They're always it's like scary campaigns. You can play with your friends.
Spencer
Yeah, I wish.
Shane
Okay, DM kills my Character for no Reason this story happened a couple of years ago. Basically it was me and I think three or four other friends. Typically I would DM and after my campaign fizzled out for whatever reason, one of my players wanted to try DMing. I helped him set up a campaign. The time comes for him to start DMing the campaign I helped him build. I think we started at level one or two. I was playing a Tiefling bard. The other players were I think a druid, a barbarian and an artificer. After a couple of sessions it was going pretty smooth. We were having a good time. At one point I had to miss a session but was cool with them continuing without me. The next session I was there and I joined back with the party before we went into a dungeon. We went into the dungeon and we were going through it like normal, just some puzzles. But before our first combat the DM decided to tell me that since I was rusty after missing a session I had disadvantage on every role in combat. That annoyed me but I just went with it. I had taken some damage but figured I'd be fine because I usually play back line support. Eventually we approach a big door and I decide to enter the room and suddenly get attacked by a big bird and it takes me down to one hit point. The rest of the party makes their way in to try to help me. But DM decides that despite my teammates wanting to protect me and attacking the bird, the DM decides that the bird continues to attack me, obviously downing me. I'm a little baffled at that decision, but it's whatever. So I just start rolling. My saving throws on my turn, but DM says the bird continues to attack me because it hates you. So it hits me again. And I don't know if this is a real rule, but he said that it's an automatic two failed death saves. I had six.
Spencer
That's true.
Shane
But no, that's real.
George Primavera
George is like I support the DNA.
Spencer
If you get hit in melee and you're making your death saves, it's two failed death saves.
Shane
But I had succeeded my first death save and I succeeded the next one after the attack. So I was hoping to hold out for one more round to survive. But for some reason this bird takes a legendary action. Despite this, not even being a boss, not meaning to be a tough encounter, just a creature in a dungeon.
George Primavera
This is the spongebob. I don't know, I guess he just doesn't like you.
Shane
And it kills me. For this I would hope understandably pisses me off. And because there is no reason a DM should fish for a kill like that. I was just stuck spectating afterward and sat there for upward of an hour. After that session, I was barely invested in my character or the story. Novel. You could read a visual novel.
George Primavera
You can play four of my girlfriend's visual novel.
Shane
After that session, I was barely invested in my character or the story because the DM set the precedent that he could just kill me out of the blue and. And remove my story from the rest of the campaign. I think the campaign ended fine, but I just had zero agency for the rest of the campaign.
George Primavera
George, can I. Can I ask a question?
Spencer
It's so crazy.
George Primavera
How would you justify a bird in a dungeon?
Spencer
Great question.
George Primavera
It's like maybe it's like a kiwi bird. Yeah. Like a floor dwelling bird.
Shane
Hole in.
Spencer
Oh, a floor dwelling bird. So like an ostrich.
George Primavera
Yeah. Yeah. I couldn't think of the word. A non flying bird. Flightless flightless bird. Yes.
Spencer
Without flight. I don't know. Maybe eggs that don't like the sun.
George Primavera
Yeah.
Shane
That's good.
Spencer
That's the best thing I can say.
Shane
There's like burrowing owls, a giant burrowing owl.
Spencer
Owlbear would be a perfect example of a cave dwelling bird creature.
George Primavera
So maybe there was setup and the guy just didn't clock It.
Spencer
The funny thing is about that story is that it's all kind of fair game except for the first thing, which is insane, where you're just like, you're rusty as a heroic adventurer. Disadvantage. If people don't know if you have disadvantage on every roll, you're not going to do anything. It's not going to be a fun game. There's a reason that you only have disadvantage a little bit of the time. So that's basically the DM giving away the game there of like, you're not going to be able to have fun today.
Shane
There's no official rules in D and D of if you miss a session. No, your character now sucks.
Spencer
Goodness gracious, no. The it hates you is one of the craziest things I've ever heard. Could the DM have done everything they did there? Technically, yeah. Technically, if they hate someone, yeah, that sounds so.
Shane
Although. So that one is not for legit. And then. So it takes a legendary action.
Spencer
That is a thing, dude. Technically they use the full might of the DMs toolbox to be a dick to kill him. Now, technically, they've broken no rules except for that disadvantage nonsense. But.
Shane
So overall fair game. But is. Do you think this person. Because the verdict on this one on D and D horror stories is is it a bad DM or not?
Spencer
Is it a bad DM or not?
Shane
Like, it's fair game, but it's shitty.
Spencer
DMing the.
George Primavera
To me, it's so funny that I can't be mad at this DM where it's like, yeah, it's like, well, like you're not feeling good. So like everything sucks. It's like. And also this thing hates you. That's like.
Shane
That's really funny. The bird that just saw you hates you. What if that was.
George Primavera
What if that was like the bird's nest, like, and he kind of burst through the door going first like it's reckless.
Spencer
As I will say, perhaps the better choice there is to go after the other threatening party members.
George Primavera
Yeah.
Spencer
But hey, man, secure that kill if you gotta. I guess just maybe you don't give disadvantage to everything. That's basically, you're rolling two dice and taking the lower result every time. So you're gonna roll poorly.
George Primavera
That's so funny.
Shane
That's incredible.
George Primavera
That, like, makes me want to play D and D. There's something about it. So, like, I love a game where it's just. You can be like, fuck you.
Spencer
You would like paranoia as the. It's a great ttrpg. But yeah, there is that is cuckoo bananas.
Shane
That is amazing. Comments. Yeah. This DM is an immature child. If the DM had a problem with you missing a game, they should have talked with you about it like an adult. You don't punish people in game for real life issues. OP said not to mention the session I missed was little more than a shopping episode.
Spencer
Oh, then what are you.
George Primavera
What are we doing here? Maybe you want the. He bought the bird repellent.
Spencer
Oh, my God.
Shane
We learned a lot at Macy's, though. Oh. Someone said, unless you are constantly late or a no show and that was the reason your own campaign fell apart, then this is seriously egregious. I wouldn't have even gone back, just packed my stuff and left right then and there. Lastly, someone said, as the bird furiously claws and pecks at you, it squawks, you shouldn't have missed the last session, Ron.
George Primavera
Kid died.
Shane
I hate you. The justification in a storyline of like, why is it attacking me? It's like it hates you. Yeah. It's just really funny.
Spencer
Very funny.
Shane
We need to. Can we promise in the next dread to have a moment where some monster attacks someone and they're like, why? It's like it hates.
George Primavera
We haven't. Yeah. We haven't fought enough animals in dread. I think that's. Yeah, that'll be my.
Spencer
Take that note.
George Primavera
Yeah.
Spencer
Yeah. Got it. Roger that elephant.
Shane
Wow.
Spencer
That's unbelievable.
Shane
Damn. Have you ever experienced, like in DND sessions where obviously, because I don't. I don't feel like you would ever do this as a dm.
Spencer
Gosh.
Shane
Have you. Have you witnessed this type of behavior?
George Primavera
Like when it bleeds into punishing?
Shane
Like, not this. Extremely so.
Spencer
Not. This is. This is long enough ago that I think I can say it. There was a character who was role playing. They had just taken down a zombie and they were like. As their character, they're a monk. They're doing a little ceremony to. They feel bad that they killed the zombie before looking for a cure or whatever. And the DM didn't like that because they were religious and viewed it as something that wasn't religious. And so they fireball Satan's game. Satan's game. They fireballed that person out of nowhere and just added enemies because they saw a ritual they didn't like. And it was the most uncomfortable I've ever been in a player seat.
Shane
Oh, my God.
Spencer
Yeah.
George Primavera
They're like. And God doesn't like you.
Spencer
And God. And God.
Shane
Dean, I'm sorry. God punished you. Fire cleanses.
Spencer
Yeah, right. Wow. That whole DM as like, the arbiter of, like, the real life is so crazy and unhealthy.
George Primavera
A religious DM that, like, you know, like, infuses the campaign with, like, God.
Shane
That feels really.
George Primavera
Christianity is, like, really funny.
Shane
It's extremely funny because wasn't, like, D and D hated by the religious community.
Spencer
It's like a hundred percent. Anything with, like, occult and witchcraft and stuff like, that was immediately. It was like a moral panic. So everybody was just trying to blame stuff to be like, look how crazy this game is. And Gary Gygax was like, I just want to fight a bear with an owl face.
Shane
Like, stop.
Spencer
You know?
George Primavera
That was a good Tim impression. Our IT guy, Tim. We are IT guy.
Spencer
Okay.
George Primavera
Yeah.
Shane
What was Tim doing in the 80s? Yeah. I also feel like missing games is whenever I don't play D and D outside of, like, we've played here, but I haven't played DD in my regular life. But hearing about it, I feel like missing games is, like, one of the most common things in D and D. It's impossible to get a bunch of adults together on a regular basis. So missing games is normal to be expected.
Spencer
And unless it's a broadcast and you're performing it for other people, then those obligations extend a little further. But if it's a personal game, I can't tell you how many times I've been at a game with six people that are supposed to show up and four people show up. And that's like, great.
George Primavera
Those are great.
Spencer
Amazing. We can play. You know what I mean? And to punish somebody for not showing up is not gonna make them show up next time.
Shane
Right.
Spencer
You know, I also feel like the.
Shane
Whole point of it that I feel like most of the DD horror stories we've read is it seems like DMs forget is like, the point of it is to have fun.
Spencer
Yes.
Shane
So when you're making choices that are just actually making it all a bummer.
Spencer
The DM seat is a seductive seat for an asshole. It's like, oh, I can lord over all my friends and, yeah, it can maketh a monster if you're not trusting everybody around the table. That's why it's like a weird thing when, like, adults re enter into, like, an imagination land and you realize, oh, we can still hurt each other's feelings.
George Primavera
Yeah, this is great.
Shane
Yeah. Yeah.
Spencer
That pretend thing you said to me did hurt my feelings because you were being a jerk in real life kind of about that.
Shane
Oh, man.
Spencer
Just have grace with your players. If you're a DM that just should be lesson number one, two and three.
Shane
Sure.
Spencer
Yeah.
Shane
All right, our next story. So this was an ad on Craigslist that was reposted onto RPG horror stories.
Spencer
Well, that's. That's tough. That's a rough start.
George Primavera
I go to Facebook Marketplace for my DD adventures.
Shane
Honestly, this Craigslist ad could have been made by Spencer.
Brad
You just realized your business needed to hire someone yesterday. How can you find amazing candidates fast? Easy. Just use Indeed. Stop struggling to get your job post seen on other job sites with Indeed sponsored jobs. Your post jumps to the top of the page for your relevant candidates so you can reach the people you want faster. According to Indeed data, sponsored jobs posted directly on indeed have 45% more applications than non sponsored jobs. Don't wait any longer. Speed up your hiring right now with Indeed and listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit to get your jobs more visibility@ Indeed.com kidsandfamily just go to Indeed.com kidsandfamily right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring Indeed is all you need.
Kara Stout
Introducing an Untroubled heart a new 30 day morning and evening devotional by Kara Stout. Whether you are stressed in the morning about the day ahead or desperate to calm your mind in the evening before bed, this beautiful book is filled with biblical encouragement and heartfelt prayers to still your mind and draw you into rest in God's loving care. Find an Untroubled heart anywhere books are.
Shane
Sold and it reads Beautiful Priestess needed for D and D. You gotta round out the party. We need a healer.
George Primavera
We need a healer. We're fighting some underground owls.
Shane
So mind you, this was posted on Craigslist.
Spencer
Beautiful Priestess is a terrible okay hi.
Shane
My group of friends, 30 year old men have a multi year Dungeons and Dragons adventure going this Sunday. There's a small scene where we encounter a beautiful naked priestess and I thought it would be fun to have an actor play the part. It would require you to be topless on our virtual zoom, so obviously you'd have to be comfortable with that. Our session starts at 4pm this Sunday.
George Primavera
The one Sunday night it's like so is one of you guys getting married or.
Shane
The one trick is I don't know exactly when we will encounter this priestess, but it will be at.
George Primavera
She's just camera off, just with her shirt off.
Shane
The one trick is I don't know exactly when we will encounter this priestess, but it will be at some point between 4 to 6pm Eastern Time. Ideally, you could be available in the timeframe and then I can text you the precise time to join the zoom link. The actual scene won't be more than five minutes, so it won't be much acting. I'll provide some guidance on the part beforehand. Feel free to reply with any questions. Also, if you could include a picture with your reply, that would be helpful. Thanks. I've never thought of the idea of hiring an actor to join in on a zoom, like for D and D. It sounds really funny. I would love it, like to hire like some like 70 year old, like wise and like guy would be like, oh, we're going to go talk to the wise wizard. And like not even give the actor much before him. But I'm like, but I'm like, whatever he says, go.
Spencer
Get a cameo from someone. And it's like, dude, like Boston Rob's going to tell us where the magic sword is.
Shane
That's awesome.
George Primavera
That'd be sick. As cameo D and D, where it's like you come like you just have a cameo up for like every like npc. It's like, can you ask them that? It's like, give me a hundred dollars and we can get another cameo from them.
Spencer
Oh my God, that's so, so can I.
George Primavera
Can I have a crazy opinion? Yeah, I, I don't think, like, I see nothing wrong with. Is she getting paid?
Spencer
That's the question.
Shane
Okay, okay. Apparently op was asking $100.
Spencer
That's not enough. I don't think that's enough.
George Primavera
I think in LA that might not be enough, but like somewhere else maybe.
Spencer
Maybe. But like if she's getting paid and.
George Primavera
She'S like, if you're, if you're like already like, you know, showing, showing your rests on the Internet, like, you know, it sounds like it could be a fun little side quest. No pun intended.
Spencer
But like, I'm thinking as a player who's not expecting that that would be.
George Primavera
A little confrontational, I'd be uncomfortable.
Spencer
I don't think. I, I don't know. That is.
George Primavera
But if everyone's like, if like everyone's in the know, everyone's like consenting. I think it's hilarious, man. And I think it's hilarious to put the ask out there.
Shane
Look, Pam from Reno is calling in. It's like, priestess, where should we go? You're gonna want to go.
Spencer
You will eat three monkeys, uncrumble a paper, find the base of the waterfall, and put your palm upon the gray slate rock.
Shane
All right. Just imagine you're just calling and smoking A cigarette.
George Primavera
I think this. I think this is awesome.
Spencer
Okay.
George Primavera
I think this is. This is like the funniest thing you could do. I mean, look, when people like, like.
Spencer
Cause well, this makes me want to die.
George Primavera
It's like, if I were actually involved in this, I would. I wouldn't want to actually be involved in this. But like, well, it's like, to me, it's like, you know, if someone's like, oh, and there's gonna be like a stripper at this, like, bachelor party, I'm like, I actually don't want to go. I don't want to see this. I don't want to be any. Anywhere near this. But it's like, if you're like, yeah, then we're having someone like, call in as like the tough.
Spencer
But it's funny, right? Right?
Shane
Yeah.
Spencer
There is a major element of like, clearly this is a consenting individual. That's fine. I want to be nowhere near this.
George Primavera
Yeah.
Shane
Oh, yeah. If I was there, I'd be like, no, thanks.
Spencer
No, dude, I'll be logging out.
Shane
Here's the problem with zoom, though, is that, like, I don't trust that these guys aren't going to screenshot. They're going to record this.
George Primavera
Oh.
Shane
And it's like, hey, like, come on, that's not worth $100.
Spencer
No protection.
Shane
That's more.
George Primavera
No, that's there. There is a lot of nuance.
Shane
There's tons of nuance. But I get what you're saying of like, hey, like, if you're paying someone and they said they're down, like, fine. So do I want to be in that game?
George Primavera
Do I want to be in the game? No. It's so funny as fuck.
Shane
It's not lasting five minutes. You'll be like, oh, priestess. Actually, not yet.
George Primavera
We are like, join us on our Quest.
Shane
And the DMs like, you have to join them.
Spencer
We'll see you next week.
George Primavera
I love giving her any idea. Like, I'm gonna text you somewhere between four and six. That's like the beginning of driving's like, I'm gonna give you a five minute window.
Shane
Like, dude, okay, call.
Spencer
Imagine the hour and 55 minutes of.
George Primavera
Just at your computer.
Shane
Just.
George Primavera
No, shut your reflection in the fuck. I'm gonna need a beautiful naked priest hanging dongs.
Spencer
50 bucks an hour. 50 bucks an hour. God.
Shane
Comments? I'm on the fence with this. It seems pretty straight and upfront about what they're looking for.
George Primavera
Straight.
Shane
Even if it feels a bit. Even if it feels a bit cringy. I know a couple of extroverted RPG playing friends who wouldn't immediately rule this out, though they'd certainly have questions. And one would definitely be whether the players were all on board with the nudity. Otherwise, I'd say there's enough info for it to seem like a legit inquiry for a brief cameo from an outsider rather than just a group of guys wanting to see some boobs. There's a whole Internet to see boobs on. Low key.
George Primavera
Yeah.
Spencer
My.
Shane
Someone said my DM will occasionally ask us to play an NPC for a session or two in one of the other campaigns he runs. It's pretty fun.
Spencer
Okay.
George Primavera
Just not adding anything to the story. Dude, I played a video game with my friend once. It was pretty fun.
Shane
Have you guys ever checked out visual novels? That's just hilarious.
George Primavera
That's a really.
Shane
That's some really funny stuff. Oh, man.
Spencer
Something about.
George Primavera
I'm going to be telling people about that. I'm going to tell people about this story.
Spencer
I've heard of people hiring cosplayers to come on and do they dress up in a sorcerer outfit and they do a little cameo.
Shane
That's cool.
Spencer
And that's if you got the money to pay somebody to do that. I do think that's cool. Where the Craigslist of it all, really.
George Primavera
Asking anything on Craigslist is crazy.
Shane
Craigslist ads are always the most insane shit you'll ever read because it requires a level of honesty about stuff. Cause it's like, okay, I need to put this ask out here and I need to be asking specifically what I want. And it's always amazing. It's incredible.
Spencer
Unfiltered.
Shane
Yeah. Truly, there are a lot of people in the comments being like, I'd do it.
George Primavera
No, that's the other thing. It's like I feel like people are in a space where it's like people are getting more and more comfortable, where it's like, you know, truly, it's okay as long as you're okay with it living in perpetuity, which is a whole other. I don't know. As long as everyone's okay with it.
Spencer
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
George Primavera
I can still laugh.
Shane
Totally.
George Primavera
Yeah.
Shane
As long as legally I'm allowed to laugh.
George Primavera
Yeah.
Spencer
Yeah. It's still funny. If everybody said yes to it. Yeah.
Shane
To that one comment. Let's be 100% clear.
Spencer
That's gotta be 80% of the.
Shane
There is a lot of element at play of these guys wanna see some boobs.
George Primavera
And it's also like.
Shane
I mean like the character is a sexy priestess and you have to submit.
George Primavera
A photo to me. The entire thing is so unnecessary. Yeah, like, that's what makes it funny. It's like, nothing about this needs to happen. You're going the extra mile in, like, such an unnecessary, stupid way.
Spencer
That's why I feel like the players can't possibly know about it.
Shane
Because you think the players don't know.
Spencer
There's no chance. The DM is checking with the players being like, hey, guys, five minutes of this game.
Shane
Can I.
Spencer
Can I Are going to be crazy.
Shane
I need you to stop. Can I pitch something? That would be incredible, which is you hire two different actors, you pay them both up front at the start, and you go. You may or may not be needed. But it comes to a part where the cast of characters like, okay, there's two doors behind. One is the sexy priestess, and behind the other is a naked man who's really gross. It's just like, make your choice wisely is waiting.
George Primavera
Uncle Steve, get in here.
Shane
Now.
Spencer
Hey, guys, I'm topless over here. Welcome to my grotto.
Shane
And the other is Danny DeVito. And it's like. And it's kind of a tough choice. It's like, I kind of want to see Danny.
George Primavera
I don't know, in this rpg.
Shane
Yeah, it's tough. Incredible. Incredible shit. All right, our next story. Am I the asshole for not giving my co worker my day off because I want to play a video game? Oh, all right.
George Primavera
Go on.
Shane
Okay. So anyone in the video game world knows that next week the new Legend of Zelda game comes out. After like five plus years of waiting, I'm a massive fan. When the release date was revealed, I immediately requested PTO for that date as I plan on staying home that day and enjoying the new game. What I didn't realize was that the day I asked off for is the Friday before Mother's Day. My company has had to limit the requests off for that date now, as many people have been asking for it off. I had previously told some of my coworkers I was planning on staying home to play the game. And I guess word got around because one of my other coworkers asked me after work to give her my PTO so she can travel for Mother's Day. I explained to her that I requested this day off months ago for a specific reason and I really wasn't willing to change it. She got pretty upset with me claiming I care more about video games than family and whatnot. I honestly don't really care about her not being able to travel because I.
George Primavera
Honestly don't care about her.
Shane
I honestly don't give a shit about her. I honestly don't really care about her not being able to travel because I feel like if this was an important date, then you would have requested off early like I did. Anyways, I firmly told her no.
George Primavera
That's how priorities work.
Shane
Anyways, I firmly told her no, but she told some of my other co workers and they are all pissed at me and calling me an a hole for not giving up the date. Am I the asshole? Okay.
Spencer
Oh, man.
George Primavera
I think it's another case of it's kind of funny.
Shane
Oh, yeah, it's definitely funny.
George Primavera
It's also like, Mother's Day weekend, right?
Spencer
What is this business, I wonder?
George Primavera
Must be who's traveling on Mother's Day week? I'm sorry.
Shane
I guess some people might travel to see their moms.
George Primavera
I'll call my mom.
Spencer
I haven't taken a plane for Mother's Day.
Shane
No, I have not either. But you can, like, I'll send an edible arrangement.
Spencer
Whoa, whoa.
George Primavera
Yeah. To me. To me.
Spencer
It's.
George Primavera
It's also like, yeah, it's like, well, I already took the pto. I don't know. It just doesn't feel.
Shane
I've never.
George Primavera
Why is it his responsibility?
Spencer
Yeah, I don't feel this is one.
Shane
Of those where we work in a sphere where it's hard to like. I understand jobs work differently, but in our job, it's not like, oh, someone else is taking pto, so I can't. So I cover pm. I'm asking for them to switch it out. The idea of, like, asking someone to take away their own PTO to give it to me, that's crazy. I just wouldn't ever operate that way. I'd be like, oh, I can't. Like, I. Oh, that's not an option for me.
Spencer
If you're asking somebody to give you their pto, you're basically asking them to pay them.
George Primavera
I don't think it's giving the pto. I think it's just like, they need.
Shane
To go to work so that you can. Because someone you can take off.
Spencer
So, like, can I take pto?
George Primavera
So, yeah, instead of you taking me.
Spencer
Instead of you taking pto, it's the.
Shane
Equivalent of, like, cover my shift or.
Spencer
Like, then, oh, man, that is tough. Because if I'm in the Legend of Zelda guys seat, that's my time. It's like, it's my work hour. I decide that, right?
Shane
If PTO, you can't really, like, say, like, well, my PTOs because of what I'm doing with my PTO.
Spencer
Yeah.
George Primavera
Maybe that'll learn.
Shane
I serve it more. Cause he kind of has the point. He's like, I took it off months ago.
Spencer
Maybe this guy's mom stinks.
George Primavera
Yeah. And, like, you know, you could kind of pull the, like, Oh, I would need more context for both. Cause, yeah, on one hand, it's like, you know, what if, what if this woman's mom isn't doing well?
Spencer
Right.
George Primavera
And then in the other case, it's like, hey, what if Zelda was the last game I ever played with my dad?
Spencer
Yeah.
George Primavera
And it's like, Zelda's really important to me. Like, you can pull those cards all day. It's just like, ultimately, like, who's more worthy of pco? It's like, look, I just, I wish that they could. Both the workers are mad at each other. They shouldn't be mad at the system.
Shane
Yeah. I mean, of course, the system is the ultimate bad guy here. The fact that people can't take time off to see their families is a bigger issue. But in regards to the situation at hand, this guy's not an asshole. He took PTO off. It's like, that's the situation. Sucks for her.
Spencer
The big thing about like, is, like, weaponizing the reason for his PTO is, like, something that an employer could never do. So a fellow employee should also not. I think it's.
Shane
Yeah, yeah. He went around telling everyone that is that is his. Gave everyone the ammunition.
Spencer
Yeah, Right.
Shane
Exactly.
George Primavera
If someone was like, oh, like, I'm taking the day out to play this video game. Like, okay, loser.
Spencer
Yeah, I, I, I remember.
Shane
You tell people, but you play video games.
George Primavera
Yeah. No. A secret gamer. I've never, never once divulged.
Shane
Nobody knows that Spencer plays video games.
George Primavera
You wouldn't know by looking at me. I should have had the shirt. I should have that shirt on. It's like I paused my game to be here. We didn't do cutaway gags and Reddit stories where it's like, you would know by looking at me. Then it cuts to Shane, and then it cuts back to me, and I've got the twirly hat on, and I paused my game to be her in a big lollipop tricycle.
Shane
When people ask, it's like, oh, I'm taking the day off. It's like, why? It's like, you don't want to know.
Spencer
Yeah.
George Primavera
It's like saving the princess.
Shane
Saving the princess.
George Primavera
What if this isn't about Tears of the Kingdom? This is about Link's Awakening the remake.
Shane
No.
Spencer
Then you gotta go to work, man.
George Primavera
I took this. Like, bro, you gotta.
Shane
This. This came out early. 2023. This is tears of the Kingdom.
Spencer
Yeah.
Shane
Which.
Spencer
I get it. I get it.
Shane
Yeah. Dude, Tim took the day off for.
George Primavera
Oh, my God.
Shane
Tears of the Kingdom.
George Primavera
Yeah.
Shane
I think a lot of people talk.
George Primavera
About the guy you were making fun of earlier.
Spencer
Damn. I'm sorry.
George Primavera
I don't know you.
Spencer
I'm so sorry.
Shane
I remember Courtney and I had a trip. I wouldn't have done anything about this, right? But we had like a big trip planned.
George Primavera
She wanted me to play her visual.
Shane
That we had planned and I wouldn't.
Spencer
Do it for five minutes, but we.
Shane
Had a big international trip planned. And I remember, like, having the date set for it and then being like, oh, shit, when does Tears of the Kingdom come out? And I was like. I was like, I'm obviously not gonna change our trip plan.
Spencer
Obviously, I'm not gonna change our trip.
Shane
I'm obviously not gonna change it. But I was definitely like. I was definitely, like, relieved when I was like, okay, good. The game comes out once we're back.
Spencer
Home, I can download it.
Shane
I was definitely like, fuck, that's gonna suck if we're out of.
George Primavera
She's like, wow, isn't this monument gorgeous? Yeah, whatever. Fucking yeah.
Shane
Yeah, it's really cool.
Spencer
Oh, this guy made a bike out of 15 wheels. I could be doing that.
Shane
Comments on this, not the asshole. Mother's Day is listed on a calendar every year, even though the actual date may vary. Poor planning on their part does not equal an emergency on yours. You planned, you deserve it. And it doesn't matter why you booked it off. For what it's worth, I've booked vacation around video game releases and it's amazing. Enjoy your time off and your game. Someone else said, not the asshole. Same goes for any other holiday. I'm child free, my choice. And people always seem to think that means I should be the one working holidays. It doesn't matter if the reason you have the day off is for a video game. It's your day off. Enjoy it. Lastly, someone said, not the asshole. It doesn't matter why you took the pto. It was approved and it is yours to take. This is a management problem, not your problem.
Spencer
Agreed. Fix it. Management.
Shane
Yeah.
George Primavera
I love seeing gamers protect other gamers.
Spencer
Oh yeah?
Shane
Yeah.
George Primavera
Gamers together, strong.
Shane
Well, if you go to Reddit, four players. If you go to Reddit, you're gonna have gamers. Yeah.
George Primavera
It's like, yeah, my wife was mad. I was playing video games in the delivery room. It's like bro Loser.
Shane
Okay, our next story. We are back on D and D horror stories. My player fell in love with me. Oh no, the dm. But I'm married and one of the players is my husband.
George Primavera
No dude, this happened to Amanda in Sponstress Christmas. Yeah, she fell in love with Carol.
Shane
Yeah.
Spencer
Yes, right. Oh God what a nightmare.
George Primavera
Angela, Amanda were fighting tooth and nail for Carol.
Shane
I'm typing this on mobile so apologies for the formatting. I've been playing DD with my husband for five years and this is my first campaign DMing. We are playing with his friend group who are Pat, Mary and Dylan? Not real names. We have been playing for the last three months and everything has been going great so far. The party works well together and there is really no issue. Except Dylan. Dylan is playing a half orc barbarian who fell in love with a half elf named Shelia and this has been a progressing storyline. For reference, he is not the only one who is romancing an NPC and the rest of the party has not professed their love over text to me after the session last night the group went home and Dylan sent me a bunch of texts saying that he had noticed tension between us and that we can't deny it and he is open to taking the next steps. I am horrified of course and inform my husband immediately because this is his friend. My husband texts Dylan for a bit then calls and berates him for his actions. Dylan then says that my husband is standing in the way of our love and my husband hangs up and blocks him on both of our phones and we discussed next steps and decided to cancel D and D for the time being because I am freaked out. The rest of the group are understanding but man this has been a weird Christmas with a $5 meal deal with new McValue. You pick a McDouble or a McChicken then get a small fry, a small drink and a four piece McNuggets. That's a lot of McDonald's for not.
Spencer
A lot of money.
Shane
Prices and Participation may vary. McDouble meal $6 in some markets for a limited time only.
Brad
You just realized your business needed to hire someone yesterday. How can you find amazing candidates? Fast? Easy? Just use indeed. Stop struggling to get your job posts seen on other job sites with Indeed sponsored jobs. Your post jumps to the top of the page for your relevant candidates so you can reach the people you want faster. According to Indeed data, sponsored jobs posted directly on indeed have 45% more applications than non sponsored Jobs. Don't wait any longer. Speed up your hiring right now with Indeed and listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit. To get your jobs more visibility@ Indeed.com kidsandfamily, just go to Indeed.com kidsandfamily right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring Indeed is all you need.
Shane
What?
Spencer
They just die harded that where they suck. Christmas at the end.
Shane
And by the way, prom is tomorrow.
Spencer
Yeah. Wow.
George Primavera
It was the best summer ever.
Shane
Oh, this was. This was posted on Christmas of last year.
Spencer
Oh, my goodness.
George Primavera
This is posted on our Christmas.
Spencer
Our last Christmas. Yeah. Isn't it funny how so many of these D and D horror stories are just people, like, deeply misreading the room? It's just.
George Primavera
It's crazy that, like, you know, the vibe of like or, like, the stereotype with D and D is like, oh, it's like a nerds game, but it's like, it's a game of reading the room.
Spencer
Sure. Absolutely.
George Primavera
And, like, the DMs, like, their biggest role. I would say. Well, I mean, I would let you say this. If you want to say it's about reading the room, I'll let you say it.
Spencer
It's about reading the room, gang. I do. I seriously think it's all about, like, reading energy and understanding where people are at and knowing when to go to people and when to let them wait. Just in terms of, like, being entertained, like, how many. How much someone's talking. But, like, yeah, this is the DM that the person fell in love with. Essentially, yes.
Shane
Cause she's DMing and this friend of theirs is playing and he's romancing an npc. So she's playing the NPC that he's romancing. And so clearly they probably had some sequences together where they're, like, professing their love within the game.
Spencer
I've definitely heard of this happening before, and it is really stupid. It's just like, if you're showing up to play a game of trouble, no one's about to fall in love with the person who presses the bubble the most. You know what I mean? It's. People just.
Shane
You never know here on slash games.
Spencer
Yeah. So it's just when people give the dm, I think it's something to do with mysticizing it or something like that. When somebody's just pretending to be this npc, you're like, wow, they're infusing magic into this. This is all personal to them. I'm gonna make it personal to me. Now we have a personal connection that's unseen by all the others. Cause it's just our secret, private little moment. But you're forgetting that there are five other people in the room. Like, I've got my dice and I'm ready to attack.
George Primavera
You know I'm ready to attack. He just cuts.
Spencer
Here we go. I'm ready to get these goblins.
George Primavera
Here we go.
Shane
And you got a lady on a zoom call just waiting to hop to the list. Waiting.
George Primavera
I was like, wait for the text. Wait for the text.
Shane
Yeah.
George Primavera
I was like, that's who they need to break this tension up. They need a beautiful princess or a beautiful priestess.
Shane
Yeah.
Spencer
I love how they felt like they had to include the fact that they canceled D and D the next time. As if that were like, we did.
George Primavera
Unfortunately, we did. For the time being. It's like, TBD maybe. Yeah, maybe I'm never playing this again.
Spencer
Yeah, well, he lost his friend.
Shane
Oh, my God. Dylan also insanely, like, bold to not only, like, text her and then be like, what are our next steps? And then, what are our next steps?
George Primavera
And then the texting her crush Next steps.
Spencer
The development man calls you.
Shane
Like, you're standing in the way of us. Yeah. It's like, whoa, man. Okay. Comments. I am so sorry this happened. It seems that Dylan is not mature enough to separate what is being simulated in the RPG with real life, which is troubling to say the least. I hope you can continue dming, but it seems that Dylan needs to leave the game under normal conditions. Oh, it seems. I think he maybe needs to leave under normal conditions. I'd suggest talking to the player and working something out, but I think this is a case where you should probably skip that step.
George Primavera
Thanks.
Shane
Thanks, Reddit. Dylan seems divorced from reality. In any case, good luck. I know this is a very strange situation.
George Primavera
Saw the divorce Dylan wants.
Shane
Hey, it is insane that, like, Dylan, this is also, like, even if he had no other intentions, but if you are in a DD group where it's like the DM is married to someone else at the table and you're doing a romance sequence with that person, it's like, this has got to be at least a little silly. Like, at least make it a silly romance. A little silly.
Spencer
Or it just has to be like, people who've known each other for a long time and there's no fear of they're gonna steal my husband.
Shane
Right.
Spencer
And once. I think. Once. I think a lot of these issues tend to occur with people who don't know each other very well. And then they meet through D and D and they're like, I feel a part of this group.
George Primavera
It's almost like parasocial. I don't know if that's the right.
Spencer
Word, but, like, there's something like that. It's like, oh, man.
George Primavera
Yeah. I'm trying to think of, like, the word when it's like, parasocial with your.
Spencer
Characters that aren't real.
George Primavera
Yeah, yeah. Where it's like, you know, if you are being. If you are being a character and I fall in love with that character, and I'm like, oh, that. Like, and the character likes me. I'm like, oh, that George likes me. It's like, that's almost.
Shane
But Dylan was their friend. Dylan was the friend.
George Primavera
Dylan was their friend.
Shane
So it's like, he did know these people. OP left a comment saying, my husband thinks he built a version of me in his head and fell in love with that. He is definitely not playing with us again as he insulted my husband and said he wanted to have sex with me. I just think I need to break that part out. I just think I need a break until the New Year's in five days. In five days, I'll be good.
George Primavera
Just give me, like.
Shane
And the other guy's like, I just don't have time to read a visual novel.
Spencer
Oh, my God.
Shane
Someone said, unfortunately, this has happened to me more than once. As a female dm, it's frustrating, a violation of boundaries, and. And really disappointing, unfortunately. You will learn to recognize the signs and indications that someone is starting to manic pixie dream NPC you and cut it off. Oh, don't let one bad player shake your confidence. As a dm, the game is for all of us, and you are entitled to boundaries, safety, and comfort while running a game for your players, just as they are entitled to the same from you.
George Primavera
Send Dylan down to the dungeon. Be like, there's a. You come across a bird and it hates you, man.
Spencer
He fucking hates you.
Shane
Yeah, sorry. This bird fucking.
George Primavera
This bird hates.
Spencer
God. I. I think it's not. It sucks. How many women have that exact same story when they play D and D and they have like, oh, I had my first experience was terrible. And it's like, yeah, yeah, Good on this group for nixing that guy and getting him out of here standing up. He deserves to be. I mean, I hope. Yeah. I mean, the fact that it was even a thought scares me a little, but. Yeah.
Shane
Well, we have a mini little update. It was in the comments. She said, DD is back on and the rest of the players promised to not fall in love with me. So I'm assuming she kicked Dylan out.
George Primavera
Dylan's there, but he's just. He's just kind of. He's just kind of arms crossed.
Spencer
Yeah.
George Primavera
She's like, whatever.
Spencer
I won't fall in love with you anymore. Yeah. That's awful. I think people need to go outside.
Shane
That's crazy to say as a dm.
Spencer
Yeah, right. Thousands of games under my belt and I'm like, more grass.
Shane
Yeah. I think our next story also comes from DD horror stories. Our DM went to pee and never returned. Oof.
George Primavera
Scary.
Spencer
Oh man.
Shane
Pound and fear and that's it.
George Primavera
Hate to see it manifest.
Shane
It was a title only post. I'm not kidding.
George Primavera
Is that a two sentence horror?
Shane
That was a two sentence.
Spencer
What happened?
Shane
It was a one sentence horror story. Comments, goes, details. And someone else said he went to pee and didn't come back.
George Primavera
That's for sale. DM chair never sat in.
Shane
Did he leave stuff?
Spencer
I have so many questions. He went to pee.
Shane
Have you ever heard of a DM just leaving it? Just bouncing and. No.
Spencer
In any scenario.
Shane
That's pretty funny. That's.
George Primavera
And that's like maybe the DM didn't like him.
Spencer
Maybe leading any activity and then leaving in the middle.
George Primavera
Hilarious.
Shane
It's really funny. If you ever have a game going on April 1st, that's what you should do.
Spencer
That is good. Yeah, I'll steal that.
George Primavera
Like going to the bathroom then leaving is. That's really funny. In the middle of a game. Even funnier.
Spencer
Oh man.
Shane
Really funny.
George Primavera
What do you.
Shane
Yeah.
Spencer
I wonder where the stopping point was.
George Primavera
Maybe he's still peeing. Maybe he's in there.
Shane
Maybe it's part of the lung.
Spencer
Roll a nat one on his penis.
Shane
Fuck. All right. Our next story.
Spencer
Got it.
Shane
Our next story is from RPG Horror Stories. DM says I can't be a bard.
George Primavera
I kind of get it.
Spencer
Well, yeah, let's wait. Because maybe this guy's like, I've committed a lot of various social offenses as a bard in the past. Now I can't do that.
Shane
Someone said, I came up with a character concept for a bard for a campaign I'm in after my character unfortunately died by being an idiot. She had six intelligence and thought intimidating a dragon was a good idea. The idea was that I was a former con artist who was cursed to always tell the truth as best as I knew it. So then I became a theater critic and have been praised the world over for my brutal honesty. And blunt reviews. DM said no because he didn't like the idea.
George Primavera
So I kind of like that, though.
Shane
Because he hates you. So I made a bard who wrote poetry because she read somewhere that poems used to hold magic. And then one day, she gave a performance of one of her darker poems and an audience member died. Believing it to be her fault. She fled the city and lived a solitary life to avoid hurting others with her magic, who the party then found and convinced her she could use her powers for good instead of evil. DM said no because the idea was cliche.
George Primavera
It's for mystery men.
Spencer
Cliche? Killing someone with a poem is cliche?
Shane
Guess so.
Spencer
What an incredible character concept.
Shane
So I made a bard sorcerer who stole a young girl's voice.
George Primavera
This is like the fourth character they've come up with. So I did this.
Shane
So I made a bard sorcerer who stole a young girl's voice in return for her heart's desire. The catch? When she died, her soul would belong to me to use as an eternal slave. Yeah. I basically made Ursula. DM said no because it was too opinion. Ursula is pretty op. Ursula is pretty op as in octopus.
George Primavera
That was one of those where it's like, I didn't even. Like, I'm just nodding that because that was really good.
Shane
It was really good. Thanks.
Spencer
That was really good.
George Primavera
Thanks.
Shane
So I outright asked him if I could play a bard at all. And he said, no. Bards are stupid. Pick another class.
George Primavera
That's pretty funny.
Spencer
Bards are great. I mean, I love how sometimes this'll be like. The title will be like, ooh, I wonder what the interesting twist is. And it's like, DM said I couldn't. Cause fuck me. Oh, my God.
Shane
I thought it was gonna be like.
George Primavera
The person wanted to sing everything.
Spencer
Sure.
George Primavera
And it's like, yeah, no, dude, we're trying to chill out and play a game.
Shane
Yeah. It's like, come on, man.
Spencer
Bards tend to be the problematic class. Cause they're the high charisma class. So you can go to an npc. The DM is controlling and kind of like, impose your will on that NPC by just rolling ridiculously high numbers. Or charming. Doing like mind control magic and stuff.
Shane
Right.
Spencer
So sometimes DMs have good reasons for, like, hey, let's limit our bard shenanigans.
Shane
Sure.
Spencer
But this is not one of those moments.
George Primavera
This is something much funnier.
Shane
This is something better.
Spencer
Much better.
Shane
A couple comments. More like, pick another dm. Am I right?
George Primavera
Hey.
Shane
Wow.
Spencer
You got him.
Shane
OP said essentially what I'm Going to do. I love bards. They're my favorite class. Someone else said DMs who veto PC ideas for being cliche. Always start the party off by meeting in a tavern and being tasked to deal with the local goblins. Always. Get em, prove me wrong.
Spencer
Get em snatch the wig. Absolutely. Ooh, Forget it.
Shane
Wow, man. Have you ever had to turn down a character? Cause if someone pitched something so.
Spencer
Mostly because the name was so inappropriate, I couldn't say it at the table. Oh, my God. You obviously can't come to the table with that for every reason that is on this paper.
Shane
Sure.
Spencer
So, yeah, the DM should be able to filter what's allowed at the table, but I don't think not liking it is a good enough reason.
Shane
That's not a.
George Primavera
Has there ever been an idea that you've just been like, I really don't like this, and you kind of try to sway them away? Well, yeah, probably not.
Spencer
I don't think I can remember. Oh, well, one of my. Yeah, it can be from here.
Shane
He was like, you wanna name your character Guy Wood?
Spencer
Go watch Miles versus Chris movie. So fucking so good. I think, yeah, there are definitely sometimes when a player will come in and it's like, my whole character's deal is all about my phallus. And you gotta be like, hey, man, there's gonna be five other people at this table, and I don't think anybody's gonna wanna hear your section of the roleplay.
Shane
The Adventures of Penis Man.
Spencer
Yeah. Every time. And a certain person could make that very funny. But that person's rare and I think.
George Primavera
It'S characteristic, like Slur Johnson.
Spencer
Yeah.
George Primavera
He's known for two things.
Spencer
That's getting closer to the first example I mentioned. Yeah. Wow. So, yeah, you should have a little filter power.
Shane
Some boundaries there. Okay.
Spencer
I think the poem idea is one of the most beautiful bars I've ever heard.
Shane
I like the Ursula one. I like the idea of a D and D game where all the characters are just Disney villains.
Spencer
Fun.
Shane
Super fun.
Spencer
Yeah.
Shane
All right. Our last story, it comes from RPG horror stories. They write playing a woman. I think I got the tiniest taste of real world sexism. Whoa.
Spencer
Okay.
George Primavera
Whoa.
Spencer
Okay, go on.
Shane
Really? This guy, like, talking to women now is like, I get it.
Spencer
I lived it.
Shane
I understand. Yeah, I know. I've been playing DD on and off for 15 years now in multiple campaigns that got to level 20. But three years ago, I did something new. I played a female character.
George Primavera
Wait, it's fully the scene from White Lotus.
Shane
I'm Playing something new. I played a female character. We're a five person party, three men and two women in real life. In character, it's three women and two men. Because of me.
George Primavera
Because of me.
Spencer
Thanks for clarifying.
Shane
Because of Woke.
George Primavera
Because of Woke.
Shane
As the years have gone by, I've started to notice little things here and there in how the NPCs treat me. I'm trying to play this character as kind of a take charge type person, but the NPCs tend to kind of brush me off when I feel like they shouldn't. I'm a powerful sorcerer with a kind of dark reputation, so I would expect they'd show me some respect. But often, well, they don't. And it feels like Sometimes certain other PCs just get a little more recognition, a little more respect. For reasons I can't quite put my finger on, I've brought it up to the DM a couple times and he's always had a reason. Well, this NPC talked to you like that because of X reason, or when the barbarian in the group did X, that really earned the king's respect because of Y reason. It's like each individual instance had a reason that could be valid, and no one instance is a big deal, but it's just that it kept happening. I've played with this DM before and never felt like this before, so it was kind of baffling to me. Then some more time went by and I started noticing that NPCs would talk like that to other female characters too. And it was always the male characters who seemed to get the respect. And at first I was like, nah, that's crazy.
George Primavera
No, no, no.
Shane
And at first I was like, sexism doesn't exist though.
Spencer
It's the children who are wrong.
Shane
The DM is an old friend of mine, and I know he's not sexist or anything, but once I noticed it, I kept noticing it and I didn't say anything because come on, how whiny would it be for a straight white dude to complain about low grade fantasy sexism? Honestly, sometimes I'd notice a little thing and be sure it was sexism. And then the next time I'd be sure I must be imagining it. Like an NPC might talk to one of the male characters before us, or he might give them more respect than usual. I mentioned to one of the other guys who I've been friends with since high school, that I felt like my character was getting shortchanged sometimes, not mentioning sexism as the cause, and he kind of shrugged. It off. So I let it drop. This Sunday, as everyone was leaving, I found myself alone in the parking lot with one of the real life women of the group. Yet another NPC had low level disrespected our characters in favor of one of the guys in this game. And it was on my mind. I said something like, is it just me or does person A and person B, the guys, though I didn't say that, get just a little bit more respect than we do. She just shrugged and said, it's a man's world.
George Primavera
This is like finding out about racism from like Detroit become Human or something like that. It's like, whoa, I never thought of it like that.
Spencer
Also, it's funny how they're like, man, this world is sexist. And I'm like, It's the guy. DMing.
Shane
Yeah, it's that guy. It's him. They're talking about it as if the fantasy world is like, part of it'll.
Spencer
Just be how it is.
Shane
It's like, yeah, there's nothing we can do about it.
Spencer
How can we enact change in this fantasy world? Talk to Greg. Tell him to stop.
Shane
Greg is the one actively making these decisions every day.
Spencer
Oh man.
Shane
We talked a little more because I wasn't sure she was serious at first, but she was. And she didn't seem particularly upset or bent out of shape about it. As far as she was concerned, this is just how it goes. First, I felt immediately relieved, like I'm not crazy. It wasn't all in my head. Like I said earlier, I didn't bring up sexism to her. She brought it up first. And it felt great to have my perceptions validated. But I've really been dwelling on it since then. Like she was so matter of fact about it. It bothers me that it must happen all the time to women and I just don't notice it. I mean, obviously this is a really small sample size. The DM whose NPCs act that way and the other guy players who don't notice it. And obviously I don't really understand what a woman goes through. I don't want to pretend like my little thing here is on the same level as what real women experience every day. It's really her reaction that stuck with me. The sort of welcome to the club vibe I got. Honestly, if this is normal for women, I don't know how they deal with it. I find it low grade, infuriating, and I only have to deal with it every now and then. In the fantasy world, I think this.
George Primavera
Guy just became A feminist.
Spencer
Look at that.
George Primavera
He's like, whoa, guys, we should do something about this.
Spencer
D and D, everyone.
George Primavera
Yeah.
Spencer
This is good.
George Primavera
This is so funny.
Spencer
Yeah.
George Primavera
This. Yeah. There's a story, I know, like, this, of something like this happening to someone in real life where something very innocuous was like, oh, whoa. I guess people of color really do go through it sometimes. It's like, yeah, really? I don't know why that taught it to you, but, hey, I guess if you learn somehow, think about how infuriating.
Spencer
It is for all the women at the table, for all the men to constantly not notice that it's happening until you have to pretend to be a woman for a little bit. And then you're like, something's not right.
Shane
Yeah.
Spencer
And it's affecting me.
Shane
Oh, my God. There's one comment on it.
George Primavera
That was it.
Shane
There's no update. One comment. That kind of represents all the comments in this. Welcome to the club. It sucks. But, of course, if you were to push back against all those little slights, you'd be painted as a huge bitch who gets offended at everything. It's exhausting to navigate. So you probably can see why a lot of women just deal with it. I don't think your male friends are sexist, but there's some sexist behaviors that are just so normalized that men don't think about it. Hopefully you can take this experience and be a bit more mindful of your own interactions with women in the real world.
Spencer
That sums up.
George Primavera
Well said.
Spencer
Yeah, absolutely.
Shane
Yeah. That's pretty good.
Spencer
DD is cool in that it lets you get outside your perspective sometimes. But that is also a dangerous thing, as you can see with Dylan.
Shane
Yeah.
Spencer
And birds.
Shane
Dylan and birds.
George Primavera
Yep. And baby's like. And this NPC really doesn't like you.
Spencer
Yeah. Also, he hates you.
George Primavera
Yeah. About every npc, though.
Shane
It'd be funny if he talked to her and he's like, does it feel like we get distracted? She's like, no, all of us are fine. He just hates you.
George Primavera
Yeah, right.
Shane
He hates you in part.
Spencer
Two things. I feel very respected.
Shane
Everyone's respected except for you. Oh, man. Well, this has been a blast.
Spencer
Oh, thank you guys so much for having me.
George Primavera
That was my flu.
Shane
Yeah.
George Primavera
I'm glad we didn't have to like that last story. Just like that comment was like, oh, that's everything we needed to say.
Spencer
That's it. Yeah. All the nuance wrapped up. Yeah.
Shane
Yeah. George, thank you for joining us.
Spencer
Thanks for having me, guys. Thanks for allowing me to talk about.
George Primavera
This is great. I can listen to these RPG stories all day.
Spencer
Yeah, I know. They're all so terrible sometimes. Definitely all so terrible sometimes. There are some that are so bad that you're like, thank God that wasn't my introduction. You know what I mean to this?
Shane
I know that our producers went through a lot of stories that we didn't include because they're so bad, they're not even fun to read.
Spencer
That is what I. Honestly, what I feared the most was.
George Primavera
Some of the ones. Seeking Beautiful Princesses. We wanted to have her priestess.
Shane
Sorry, we want to have a little bit of fun while reading these. They have to be a little funny, but there's a lot of actual nightmares. But, George, if people want to see really good storytelling, really good D and D, where can they find it?
Spencer
Oh, man. Check out Hero Club and the Reslayer's take. We take our live recorded D and D sessions and we mix them down with sound effects and music and stuff like that and makes it like an audio book, but it's all actually played around the table, which is really cool. And go check those out. And go check out the Smosh versus videos where we play Dread, which is a Jenga tower game. And if you knock the tower over while playing, you die. Lots of fun. And these guys are brilliant dread players and TTRPGers in general.
George Primavera
We got a good one coming out.
Shane
Thank you both for being here. Thank you guys for watching. Let us know what other themes and subreddits you'd like to see on the show, and we will see you next Saturday. Bye. Seeking beautiful Priestess.
Smosh Reads Reddit Stories: Critical FAIL Stories | Episode Summary
Release Date: April 12, 2025
Introduction
In this episode of Smosh Reads Reddit Stories, hosts Shane, along with guests Spencer and George Primavera from the Smosh Games team, dive into the murky waters of tabletop gaming mishaps. Centered around the theme "Critical FAIL Stories," the trio explores a selection of Reddit submissions that highlight some of the most memorable and cringe-worthy moments in gaming sessions. From unreciprocated support in relationships to overbearing Dungeon Masters (DMs), the episode offers a blend of humor, empathy, and insightful commentary on the dynamics of gaming communities.
1. Am I the Asshole? – Refusing to Play a Girlfriend’s Visual Novel
Reddit Username: kidsandfamily
A 27-year-old man questions whether he's in the wrong for declining to engage with his 24-year-old girlfriend's side project—a visual novel game she developed over two years. Despite acknowledging her efforts and the quality of her work after a brief 15-minute playthrough, he cites a lack of interest in the genre and reading as his reasons for not continuing.
Key Discussion Points:
Verdict: The consensus is clear—He is the asshole. The community emphasizes that while personal interests vary, making an intentional effort to support a partner's project holds significant relational value.
2. D&D Horror Stories – DM Kills My Character for No Reason
Subreddit: DNDHorrorStories
A player recounts how taking a Planned Time Off (PTO) led to his DM unfairly penalizing his character upon return. After missing a session, his character was subjected to disadvantage in combat rolls. Ultimately, his character was slain by an unexpected bird attack, leaving him spectating for an hour and diminishing his investment in the campaign.
Key Discussion Points:
Verdict: Not directly labeled as an asshole situation, but the DM's actions are unequivocally unprofessional and detrimental to the gaming experience.
3. D&D Horror Stories – My Player Fell in Love with Me (the DM)
Subreddit: DNDHorrorStories
In a dramatic twist, a DM finds herself in an uncomfortable situation where one of her players, Dylan, professes romantic feelings towards her character. This blurs the lines between in-game interactions and real-life relationships, leading to tensions within the group and eventual suspension of the campaign.
Key Discussion Points:
Verdict: This scenario underscores the necessity for clear boundaries and the potential consequences when they are violated. The player exhibits inappropriate behavior, while the DM handles the situation by removing the player, prioritizing the group’s well-being.
4. D&D Horror Stories – Playing a Woman and Experiencing Sexism
Subreddit: DNDHorrorStories
A female DM shares her experiences of subtle sexism in her D&D sessions. Despite playing a powerful sorcerer, her character often receives less respect from NPCs compared to male counterparts. The DM provides varying reasons for this disparity, but the pattern persists, leading to frustration and a temporary halt in the campaign.
Key Discussion Points:
Verdict: While not an outright asshole scenario, this story highlights systemic issues within gaming groups that require conscious effort to rectify.
5. D&D Horror Stories – DM Went to Pee and Never Returned
Subreddit: DNDHorrorStories
A minimalistic yet unsettling story where a DM abruptly leaves a session citing a bathroom break and never returns. The sudden absence leaves players in limbo, unsure of the campaign's continuation and the group's future.
Key Discussion Points:
Verdict: An unprofessional and disrespectful act, making the DM at fault for neglecting the group's engagement and investment.
6. D&D Horror Stories – DM Says I Can't Be a Bard
Subreddit: DNDHorrorStories
A player presents multiple creative bard character concepts, only to have his ideas dismissed by the DM for being clichéd or overpowered. From a former con artist cursed to always tell the truth to a sorcerer who steals voices, the DM's outright rejection leaves the player feeling undervalued and restricted.
Key Discussion Points:
Verdict: The DM is in the wrong for stifling a player's creativity and failing to encourage diverse character roles, thereby impacting the game’s inclusivity and enjoyment.
Conclusion
This episode of Smosh Reads Reddit Stories sheds light on the various pitfalls and challenges within tabletop gaming, particularly in Dungeons & Dragons. From unsupportive relationships and overbearing DMs to experiences of subtle sexism, the discussions emphasize the importance of respect, communication, and inclusivity in fostering a positive gaming environment. The hosts and guests effectively blend humor with constructive critique, encouraging both players and DMs to reflect on their actions and strive for more harmonious and enjoyable gaming experiences.
Notable Quotes:
Final Thoughts
Through engaging storytelling and candid discussions, Smosh Reads Reddit Stories provides valuable insights into the dynamics of tabletop gaming. By addressing both humorous and serious scenarios, the podcast encourages a deeper understanding of the importance of empathy, support, and fairness in creating memorable and enjoyable gaming experiences for all participants.